VOL. 5, ISSUE 7 NEWS Sexuality and Gender Month: Destigmatizing Sexuality
FRIDAY OCTOBER 21, 2016 OPINION The Narratives of Our Lives
YALE-NUS, SINGAPORE FEATURES Friends who do Laundry Together Stay Together
SEXUALITY AND GENDER MONTH:
DESTIGMATIZING SEXUALITY story | Pertina Seah, Contributing Reporter photo | Paul Jerusalem
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s part of the Sexuality and Gender (SG) Month, LGBTQ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer/Questioning) interest groups from three UTown colleges; Yale-NUS College’s The G spot, Cinnamon College’s Gender Collective and Tembusu College’s tFreedom have organized a series of events related to gender and sexuality. Although there have been similar events in the past like Ally Week in 2014 and “Doing it Right” in 2015, this is the first time a month long event focusing on sexuality and gender issues has been organized. SG Month aims to promote sexpositivity and increase awareness regarding gender, sexual diversity and sexual health. Daryl Yang ’18, coordinator of The G Spot and organizer of SG Month said, “We organized SG Month really with two main thrusts. First, to destigmatize sex, sexuality and sexual health, and second, to broaden our conceptions of gender, not just in terms of challenging the gender binary but also to consider different issues that relate to gender.” One of the highlights of SG Month was the free HIV testing at Utown which attracted almost 200 participants. Yang expressed his joy at the larger than expected turnout rate, saying that “it is very encouraging that many students are [...] taking care of their own sexual health, given that sexual education in MOE schools was highly inadequate.”
The Sexuality and Gender Month opened on Oct. 10 with a debate between Yale-NUS Debate Society and NUS Debate Team
There were, however, students who expressed their discomfort with HIV testing on campus on the NUS Whispers Facebook page. A student commented that “having [the HIV test] in school is inappropriate” and expressed their fear of being seen queueing by the van.
helped dispel my misconceptions of BDSM and I left with a positive view of this oft-misunderstood subculture.” The debate on gender in sports was organized as the opening event for SG Month and was open to all. Queer Conference invited participants to discuss and explore issues faced by queer youth communities today. Feeling Myself: Closed-Door Dialogue on Women’s Sexuality encouraged females to come forward to discuss their sexuality in a safe environment.
Kink 101 was another event designed to destigmatize sexuality through the sharing of personal experiences with BDSM and exploration of the topic of consent and safe sexOne of the participants, Leon Han ’20, shared his main takeaway from the workshop: “BDSM is not some kind of deviant or scary sexual activity but The last week of SG Month will feature an exploration of one’s boundaries Human Library where participants when it comes to sex. [Kink 101] really can “borrow” a human book who
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will share their experiences of being in a polyamorous relationship, or being asexual or identifying as gender non-conforming. The event aims to destigmatize sexual diversity and challenge discrimination through conversations that will inspire people to be more accepting.
THE NARRATIVES
OF OUR LIVES story | Evan Ma, Guest Contributor photo | Serena Quay
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rom second hand information, I knew that he took a Leave of Absence (LOA) because he was clinically depressed. He did so after I had gone to Japan, and I didn’t find out until I came back to school. When I met him again a year later, I realized we were in the same boat of needing to catch up with work in school. That was the consensus we had while I steeled my resolve to get down to work. The only time I saw him during the semester was about three weeks ago, when he happened to pop in on my study group and the three of us studied together before going for a kopi run. As we walked and talked, I never noticed anything amiss. We were still joking, laughing, talking about Middle Eastern politics, making light passing statements about the busyness of school, and I never once asked how he might have been doing. Of course the reply would be “Yeah I’m doing good”, and in any normal circumstances, people wouldn’t just blurt out their true feelings while taking a walk to Koufu. But now that I think about it, it’s so important to check in with people every time you meet them. It can be a little awkward, but knowing that lives are at stake, making it clear to others that you care does make a difference.
that clear to the school, re-entry was easy. I got my letter of reinstatement almost instantly. Others may not have had it so easy. The school is a little more cautious when it comes to re-admitting students who have a history of mental illness, thinking that they may relapse and not be able to cope with the demands of school. While I most certainly understand the intentions of the school administration in taking such precautions, surely we must be more welcoming? For those students who do eventually come back, the thought of having to leave school again and go through the same procedure does not encourage them to take a rest. I believe the school’s duty is to nurture generations of thinkers and doers in times to come. First and foremost, however, the students must be well, both physically and mentally, and the school should support that too. I remember talking to Vice-Rector Suyin Chew, six weeks after I had returned to school, who said that she was always referring to me as an example of a student who took an LOA but wasn’t depressed. You can take an LOA and have goals, she said. I sensed something amiss, but couldn’t put my finger on it. With all this information coming together, I can finally pinpoint what felt off: There’s nothing wrong with taking an LOA because of mental illness. If you feel unwell, it is perfectly valid to take some time off to recover. Students who don’t want to take an LOA because they’re afraid of the perception that they are “mentally ill” is a sign that there is a stigma towards students with mental illness. This is reflective of an attitude that says we have to be strong in front of others, and that we must soldier on.
This attitude is partly caused by the signals that students receive from the moment we step into school. CIPE reminds us of the students who started their own NGOs, the entrepreneurs who ran successful businesses, the musicians who won competitions and accolades worldwide, all before coming to college. We are reminded of the potential we have within us, and the hope that we can make the most of the resources Yale-NUS College has to offer. And then the posturing begins. We hold people to high standards of expectation, calling them “experts” in their fields. We get ourselves involved in many things at once, become busy, and start flaking out on things we can’t commit to. We are constantly under pressure to perform, not least because the administration tells us that we are special, and that we can achieve. When we do achieve, it all works out; we rejoice and reaffirm our specialness — until Later, I would learn that the process of re-entry we start to break. into school was a hard one. For students like me who took a year off to study, and who made When we don’t do well in a class or attend 2
Happy Birthday To Us: This week The Octant turned three years old! We’ll be hosting a small party on Friday, Oct. 21 and would love to see you there! World Class: Expert musicians will be sharing music from around the world in the performance hall on Wednesday, Oct. 26. The event, hosted by Yale-NUS College, will feature the College’s own Dean’s Fellow Neil Chan on the guitar. Scared Stiff: Yale-NUS will be participating in the University Town Pandemonium Halloween event for the second consecutive year on Friday, Oct. 28. Last year’s event went well despite earlier controversies surrounding the theme of the haunted house and ghost decorations in the lift. Straw Poll: The Student Government launched its Student Life survey on Saturday, Oct. 15. The survey covers topics from mental wellness to dining hall taps and will be used to advocate for changes on behalf of the student body. The survey will close on Monday, Oct. 24. #MyGodIs: Over All was organised by the Yale-NUS Christian Fellowship and was held on Oct. 13 in the Black Box Theatre. Students shared their testimonies and experiences with God. The event also featured the Yale-NUS Gospel Choir, as well as a sharing by Pastor Wendy Chang from Trinity Christian Centre. Death of Thai King: Thailand’s King Bhumibol Adulyadej died on Oct. 13 after a 70-year rule, triggering a nationwide outpouring of grief. The Thai government has declared a yearlong mourning period as the nation bids farewell to the world’s longest-serving head of state.
FEATURES/OPINION
disappointing classes, organize an event that has mixed results, or get jaded by the amount of work we have to deal with in school, then the narrative of our lives begins to change. School is not the ideal world we imagine it to be. It is a little more imperfect, a little more of a work in progress, yet our everyday conversations do not change. When we ask each other, “How are you?”, we reply with a casual “I’m really busy this semester, I’m doing that insane project, that wild variety of courses, those four part-time jobs with those eight CCAs”. Perhaps we’re subconsciously seeking affirmation, like “Wow, that’s great!” or “Sounds like you’re doing amazing stuff”. When we receive it, we convince ourselves that we’re happy and fulfilled, even though we’ve barely had the time to sleep or be with those that matter to us.
marches on, our recent loss reminds me that there are people who have been (and still are) important to me, and that I ought to be more deliberate about the time I spend with them. Instead of spending two unproductive hours on a question that will bring me nowhere, I should spend it with friends and talk about something that matters.
R: I guess we talk on WhatsApp, whenever we have problems and random stuff we just update each other. We also meet for meals. Like after trainings we’ll eat together or sometimes randomly we eat breakfast together.
For far too long, I have thought that vulnerability is important, and that it is important for me to be vulnerable and open to others, but just thinking that it would inspire others to be vulnerable is naïve. Through my presence, and thoughts, I need to take action. Take people on study breaks, go for food excursions, go into nature, and be there for people. From time to time, I need to rely on people as well. I have already been doing so, but this is a potent reminder of how fragile and precious life truly is. The narrative of our lives does not involve just one person, but all the people who have, by chance or by deliberation, been involved in the history we’ve created. Let us continue building our narratives together, and not forget ourselves or each other along the way.
R: I think the RC [Residential College] difference is tough. When I was at [Experience Yale-NUS Weekend] I met Hui Yuan and I was hoping that we would get into the same RC so we could be friends but it turns out that she and Sheryl went to Elm. H: But the feeling’s mutual; we just didn’t try. S: Aw… H: We’re both just not proactive. S: I always thought that Rachel was quite a cool person. Remember that time I met Rachel in school and I looked at her expectantly and I wanted to say hi but she just looked past me! I was like, this bitch. Then I thought that Rachel seems nice, but since she’s in Saga and she has all her other friends, then she wouldn’t want to spend time with us.
Very rarely would we talk about the problems that really matter, such as the existential question of why we continue living, and what we are living for. Let us not talk about the shallow, “Oh, that class was horrible” kind of problem, but about the “Why am I learning? How are things that I’m learning applicable to the world outside of Yale-NUS?” kind of problem. We take these deeper questions for granted The views expressed here are the author’s own. and let time tick by without addressing them. The Octant welcomes all voices in the community. Of course we may do so from time to time, but Email submissions to: yncoctant@gmail.com rarely does this happen, for the weekly routine of essays and problem sets keep us on our toes. Everyone is too busy and caught up with their own problems to be aware of how they are actually doing as a community.
FRIENDS WHO
DO LAUNDRY
Yet we should beware of going to the other extreme and getting in the habit of telling people we’re tired and stressed out. Once I heard someone remark, “the moment someone says they’re stressed out, everyone starts to say that too, and it just becomes a negative echo chamber - people just say it without really feeling it.” Indeed, while being honest with your feelings is a good thing, there’s a need to give strength to each other when we most need it. I believe that resilience comes through mindfulness. Mindfulness means being present in every moment, and understanding your current state of mind. What are you thinking about right now? How are you feeling right now — are you angry, frustrated, sad, hopeful? Being mindful brings a sense of calmness, and an awareness that we all need to be honest and true to our emotions. As we build a community of mindful people, we are able to devote our attention to conversations that really matter to our hearts. I have been guilty all semester of ignoring people, thinking about my own problems of catching up with school, and not being present in other people’s lives. I set out with an iron-clad spirit: I would not waver from my goals and would do what it took to attain them, even if it means spending less time with others or going out less. But as the semester
TOGETHER STAY
TOGETHER story | Justin Ong, Managing Editor photo | Justin Ong, Raeden Richardson
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ome time back, The Octant did a handful of suite features, venturing into living spaces to have an in-depth look into the lives of students and staff. Over the next few weeks, we will be looking into the friendships formed in Yale-NUS College: the inseparable, the unexpected, and everything in between. This week we feature a sophomore trio who bonded over netball, and a pair of seniors who could not stop insulting each other. What we found went something like this:
Were there particular challenges in your friendship?
How do you help each other in times of need? R: I feel like we provide emotional support. H: Okay, it depends. Sheryl is the kind who really needs to talk about her problems, then the two of us will listen and listen and listen. S: That’s true. H: The two of us don’t really need to talk about our problems and we don’t want to talk about our problems. R: Yes, I do! H: You do? R: Yeah. H: Okay… R: I do, but maybe less. H: So, yeah we will complement each other in that way. R: Bottom line is, they were my goto when I felt like I needed help. I was thinking of them; I would want them to help me. S and H: Aww…
How did you guys build up your friendship? Rachel: We’re all in netball now. Hui Yuan: Yeah, we commiserated over our problems. Sheryl: But that’s not true actually! That’s not the bulk of it. I know how I bonded with Rachel was over Social Emotional Learning. R: Then we like talked. S: That was the time that I realized that Rachel and I were quite similar in terms of our thinking.
[From left to right] Neo Hui Yuan ’19, Sheryl Tey ’19 and Rachel Tan ’19
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Any final advice on how to maintain strong friendships? R: I feel that our fundamentals are quite similar. H: We just have good affinity, which is just something nice and magical that you
tically if you just talk to them. We often make judgments based on appearance or a quick first impression. R: Or lack of ability. Z: And I think it’s just important that we don’t listen to that all the time, because beautiful friendships can blossom. What were some ways you helped each other out in times of need? R: I remember, when Zach was applying for the Chinese Language Scholarship in the middle of sophomore year, he was pretty stressed, I was quite capable of making smoothies. I remember this one instance when Zach was freaking out. He had to have an entire interview in Chinese, [after] like, two semesters of Chinese or something like that, and I said to him “Just take care of your interview, I’ll take care of dinner.” But dinner was basically a smoothie. He’s also been very lonely, so I helped him get a girlfriend. That is very true.
R: Where do I begin? I think Zach’s dress sense can use a bit of work. Z: Sorry if you’re having trouble understanding Raeden, his Australian slang often makes his thoughts and feelings incoherent to the outside world. R: Some might call it mysterious, complex. Z: Others will say incomprehensible. R: Nah, I love Zach’s dress sense. I learn a lot from him. We’ve talked about laundry together. Z: Yeah, we talk about laundry. We do laundry together. Friends who do laundry together stay together, as they say.
[From left to right] Raeden Richardson ' 17 and Zach Machon '17
How did you guys first meet? Raeden: So back in Berkeley College during orientation at New Haven, I remember seeing Zach trying to play basketball, so I had to go down and teach him how to play. I had to teach him how to shoot; his shot wasn’t very good. He was pretty shy on the basketball court when we first met but […] Zach’s been good, he learns quickly and I think our friendship’s been sort of me teaching him a lot of things. Zach: The first time I saw Raeden I thought he was a total prick. R: ‘Cos I was sinking threes and he wasn’t. Z: He just gave off this, like, vibe and it didn’t really vibe with me. But then he was tempted by my prowess on the basketball court and that brought him closer to me, naturally. Once he stepped on the court, I taught him a few things: how to run, how to jump, how to breathe while running. And that led him to be the fine athletic specimen he is today. I think it just kind of goes to show how your perceptions of someone can change so dras-
Zach on site to witness Raeden's first ever snowfall. New York City, 2016.
So Raeden, what has Zach done for you? Z: Nothing. It’s a one-sided relationship. R: It’s a parasitic relationship. Z: [laughs] I think we are very good at holding each other accountable [for the] things we want to accomplish. I think a lot of the time we spend together is just, like, hanging out, talking. Typically, it ends with me falling asleep on his bed. R: It happens a lot. Z: But really we just talk about the things that are happening in our lives, the things we hope to achieve now and in the future. This kind of intimate sharing really connects us and allows us to hold each other accountable to be people that we want to be. What is one thing you guys can’t stand about each other?
inaugural NYU-Shanghai vs Yale-NUS basketball match. Credits: K Swaminathan. 2014
EDITORIAL TEAM Editor-in-chief Dave Chappell Managing Editor Justin Ong Managing Editor Zula Badral Co-News Editor Pham Le Vi Co-News Editor Elaine Li Co-Opinion Editor Aditya Karkera Co-Opinion Editor Yip Jia Qi Co-Features Editor Yip Jie Ying Co-Features Editor Nicholas Lua Co-Arts Editor Neo Huiyuan Co-Arts Editor Terence Anthony Wang Co-Visuals Editor Angad Srivastava Co-Visuals Editor Lucy Kuo DISCLAIMER: The views expressed in this publication do not necessarily reflect the views of The Octant. Questions can be directed to yncoctant@gmail.com
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LETTER TO THE EDITORS 4
Raeden and Zach during their pregame routines before the