I’ll come at you fast like the northern bullet – Howard TJ Moon.
¡Hola & welcome to issue #3 of TNB – The Glastonbury Special. All the articles and reviews in this issue are Glastonbury themed. (I went to Glastonbury for the first time last year, haha) I had a fantastic time and immediately wanted to write all about it, I know it’s been a fair few months since the festival, but I’ve been pretty busy (Sorry) so I hope you don’t mind reading about it a bit late And I hope you enjoy it!!
Glastonbury Adventures……
On the 25th of June me and my dear friend Megan set off on a journey that seemed to take a billion hours (actually 8) It wasn’t so bad though ‘cause we had a damn fine playlist of Robots in Disguise, Arctic Monkeys and Tenacious D! It went a bit smoother than the way back though, haha. My boyfriend’s family took me back home via Wales by accident When we finally got there we waited in a long queue of cars and vans and got searched for any contraband (which we had! We had forgotten about the bread knife we used at lunch! – Oops… Luckily the security guy was really nice and let us off!) When we actually made it into our field the tent was already set up for us (aw ) so we dumped our stuff, met up with my boyfriend Barny and went exploring. While exploring we were mistaken for an act a few times! – We had to explain to people we were just idiots
Mal Webb
Mal Webb was the first performer I went to see at Glastonbury, he is a family friend of my friend Megan
(Mini Punk Fanzine). I had a
vague idea of what Mal did from stories Megan told, but wasn’t really sure what to expect… What I got was a comedy beat boxing act with added interpretive dance. My favourite song he did was ‘Four Chords, 123 Songs, 2 minutes’- which is kind of self explanatory. It was quite funny. I was amazed he actually managed to find 123 songs with the same chord progression and fit them into the space of 2 minutes!!! I did an interview with Mal after Glasto , it’s on page 12! Check him out at : http://malwebb.customer.netspace.net.au/
The Hives!
Annoyingly I couldn’t get any pictures so that one isn’t mine
I had never seen The Hives before that fateful Friday morn. I would definetly go and see them again, but next time probably in a venue cause I don’t think Glastonbury was the best place to see them… They came on to their Space Odyssey song with gusto and attempted to put on an unforgettable amazing high energy show, but unfortunately besides me, my friends and a handful of other people – The crowd weren’t having any of it! (It was 11am) They just stood still and mostly ignored Pelle when he was talking. One woman I saw was sitting on a folding chair READING A BOOK! At a Hives gig!! Bizarre. They played all of the fan favourites and the talking in between songs was superbly funny. “I love what you’ve done with the place” he remarked after the first song regarding the muddy mess and tangle of hung over people strewn before him. He then regrettably informed us that there must have been a mistake with the line-up ‘cause they seemed to have put the greatest band on first. “I’m sorry to say” Pelle said “But this is the peak of your festival, it’s reached to top already and it’s only the first day. It’s only gonna go down hill from here.” And I think if the crowd had been better, it wouldn’t have been far from the truth. http://www.thehivesbroadcastingservice.com/
Arctic Monkeys
I love Arctic Monkeys and when I heard they were playing Glastonbury I knew I had to find a way in. Thankfully the lovely Sunrise Screen Print’ (https://www.facebook.com/pages/SunriseBrechin/139672662736058?fref=ts) had a spare ticket that I managed to beg from them. I could not wait to see them, but at the same time I was a bit scared in case they were rubbish or only played songs from ‘Suck It And See’, which didn’t have many songs I liked on it and is definetly my least favourite of their albums. But still, me and Meg made our way as close to the front of the Pyramid stage as we could get; amazingly stumbling across friends I’d been looking for in the process and we waited. They strode on stage eventually looking sharp as ever and opened with their new single ‘Do I Wanna Know’ – a spectacular song, from then on every song they played was pure gold. Looking round at the crowd I saw they were quite pleased by the set-list also as there were many a fist-pump and gleeful whoop as the opening riffs to songs were heard. From the smooth chat linking songs to the fantastic musicianship – Arctic Monkeys were pure liquid genius. By far the best all round act I saw at the festival. My friend Megan has been to Glasto every year since she was born and she said it was the
best act she’d ever seen on the main stage – so pretty darn swell in other words. It was all in all an extremely pleasing affair (Especially the acoustic version of Mardy Bum!!) I had no reason to doubt them. Silly me.
In The Spotlight: Little Luna
Since this is a Glastonbury edition my ‘In The Spotlight’ artist this time is going to be my dear friend (And Glasto accomplice) Megan Tait (A.K.A. Little Luna) Ukulele is her weapon of choice but she can turn her hand to many instruments. Her songs are very honest and incredibly catchy indie/pop/folk with punk and ska influences (Basically it’s hard to pinpoint her genre!) She is a song writing machine and never stops writing – but to this day has never written a bad tune! My favourite of hers is called ‘Frosty Night’ which she wrote for me – aw. I think she’s planning on putting an album out this year (Or in the near future anyway) which is very exciting! I can’t wait. If you, like me, cannie wait to hear her a-singin’ check her out on soundcloud. You won’t regret it. I promise. https://soundcloud.com/little-luna https://www.facebook.com/Little0Luna?fref=ts
Where To Eat Vegan @ Glasto‌
3. Queen Delilah’s: A lovely little food stall that sells the most delicious salads ever! (Not just a few lettuce leaves!) Proper salad boxes with quinoa, sprouts, potatoes, and anything else you may desire.
2. Leons I only got to eat here once unfortunately, but on the last day they did an amazingly good deal where if you paid a fiver for a bowl you could serve yourself from the buffet of tasty vegan food and come back as many times as you liked! I was sold.
01.Veggies Number 1 is of course – Veggies! They’ve been going since 1984 campaigning for animal rights and produced the most excellent food I tasted at the festival, from pasties to burgers to samosas, they went down particularly well, to cakes, they had it all. Give them your money! (It goes to a good cause!)
Festival Life:
After just 24 hours at the festival I was already introduced to a whole new way of life! I unfortunately haven’t been to many festivals before so in the days leading up to going to Glastonbury people who had already been were trying to prepare me and building it up like some sort of freak show, but when I got there I just saw a lot of cool people doing a lot of cool things ď Š Of course it was different to every day life, but usually in awesome ways! Festival food/Lack of sleep/Funky Outfits/Giant Polar Bear models - I was pleasantly surprised by it. Especially cause I was starting to anticipate a week long whirlwind of mental-ness (Which in some ways it was, but as I said before, I loved every second!)
Mal Webb Interview:
01. Hi Mal, first of all, when did you decide you wanted to become a beat boxer? Interestingly, I never decided such a thing and while I beat box a fair bit, I certainly don't consider myself a beat boxer. 02. How long did it take you to master the skill? I started making drum sounds with my mouth when I was about 5 years old, before it was called beat boxing. That's 41 years ago‌ you'd think I'd be better at it by now!
03. What makes you want to play music?
Pretty much everything. I avoid "background music" as much as possible, as I usually have something bouncing around in my head and I can't abide clashing music’s‌ well, unless it mashes up well, and then it's brilliant! I like to listen to music when I want to, rather than just hearing it all the time. I do love music, but I also love that it's essentially pointless: I have a friend who has no emotional connection to music at all and she gets along just fine!
04. What is your favourite song to play live? "Give It Up". At this point‌ it varies.
05. If you could make up a name for the genre you play, what would it be? Brainplay
06. What makes a good gig for you? An audience that throws ideas and vibes back at you.
07. Since this is a Glastonbury issue, how many times have you played Glasto and do you think it has a different vibe to other festivals? I think I've done Glasto 5 times. It's so huge and varied and yet as a lowly performer such as myself, you still feel like you're an important part of it.
08. Who is your biggest musical or comedy influence? I actually can't answer that. The first names that came into my head were the last ones I listened to (Stravinsky and Janeane Garofalo), but they're just a sample of my huge pot of influences.
09. Have you always made songs with a comedy edge? Yes. At 9 year old, I wrote a song called Rock Hard Heels about not changing your socks often enough. But I don't only write fun songs.
10. What are your plans for the future?? Keeping it varied! I try not to focus on my solo career too much, such that I don't get sick of being me. Someday I'll finish my 4th CD. But there're always so many other cool projects to jump onto.
A picture taken by my friend Megan of her Dad and brother peddling a tandem that kept the power to Mal’s Glasto gig running! Good work! ď Š
The Correspondents:
I had never even heard of The Correspondents before Glastonbury. My boyfriend Barny was going to see them so I decided to go with him – and I’m glad I did! They consist of Mr. Bruce (Vocals) and Chucks (DJ) and describe themselves as: Jazz/Hip Hop/Drum‘N’Bass/Elecro music. Mr.Bruce was an excellent front man, pulling funky shapes in outlandish outfits with his signature round black ‘Harry Potter’ style glasses. It was a masterful performance with enough gusto to conquer a planet. The crowd absolutely loved it. They were striking and fun and I would love to see them again. Check them out at: http://www.thecorrespondents.co.uk/
Beans On Toast:
Another totally packed gig, no good photos, so had to use this one
I went to see Beans On Toast cause a friend told me to check him out, once again. I’m glad – cause otherwise I wouldn’t have discovered this hilarious man. He sang acoustic punk songs of litter picking and Angry Birds then kept deciding half way through songs that he didn’t actually want to play them and starting a new ones, haha. There was a lot of fun audience participation – for the litter picking song he got a random guy up on stage to beat box for him – the guy couldn’t beat box, but I think that made it better. He did have quite a few songs about drugs and talked a lot about drugs in between which wasn’t really up my street. He said a guy came up to him recently to tell him that he’d started taking drugs because of his songs, he told us he didn’t want that on his conscience so he wrote an antidrugs song which he played as well. Between his songs (When not talking about drugs!) he told historical jokes in a Mighty Boosh Hitcher-Esque voice which I assume he was putting on, though I’m not entirely sure. (He seemed to slip in and out of it, but the accent seemed to have no reason at all… Other than to be funny – Which as I said before. He was.) Great singing voice, catchy songs, mighty fine on the geetar! Check him out! He also mentioned he’d recently joined a band so check them out too!! http://www.beansontoastmusic.com/
KT Tunstall:
I’m not a massive KT Tunstall fan, and have never really listened to her stuff but decided to go with my friend to see her anyway ‘cause of her Jools Holland performance. She was pretty good and did some of the looping and stuff that I was hoping for. At one point she did a song with a professional beat boxer which was quite funky. One annoying thing was that the acoustic tent was set out really badly, it was on a slope with the stage at the top so once all of the audience was in I could not see a damn thing! (I’m 5ft 4, haha) I had to take pictures of the gig by holding my camera up above my head! Other than that she was quite cool though, and there was a good crowd. (A tall crowd though :P)
Public Enemy:
Again, I was too far away to get a good enough picture – so here’s another professional one.
When faced with the Public Enemy vs Rolling Stones decision I gladly chose Public Enemy. I got lost in the crowd of Rolling Stones for the chorus of ‘White Horses’ and that was enough for me. Public Enemy were on good form. (A bit cheesy but that’s to be expected ) There was quite a good turn out considering Rolling Stones were playing at the same time. Though apparently pretty much the whole festival was divided between those two gigs ‘cause my friend was walking up to Public Enemy and said he just walked past tent after tent of lonely DJs. They delivered a high energy performance with a superb Nirvana remix at the end which was my favourite song they did. It also helped the atmosphere that I was standing next to the biggest Chuck D fan on planet Earth. He was quite enthusiastic to say the least. Which made up for all the people who were disappointed that Flavor Flav couldn’t leave the USA due to “immigration issues”. All in all it was good fun and I got to bust some moves, haha.
Cassette Boy vs DJ Rubbish:
One of the funniest moments of the festival for me was when I was about to head off to this gig and I said to my friend “Me and Barny are off to see DJ Rubbish, do you want to come?” to which she replied quite simply “No.” then added “Why would I want to go and see ‘DJ Rubbish’?!’” (I can understand why she wasn’t convinced, but he was anything but that!) The combination of DJ Rubbish (Who didn’t actually do any DJing) and DJ Barry M (His DJ) was kind of impossible not to like! DJ Rubbish just kind of shambled about in a track suit and said the first things that came into his head (In the best possible way) my favourite part of the gig was when he said “Everybody wave your hands in the air – because you can’t think for yourself and you just do what your told” looking round at the crowd for that moment was hysterical because everyone was trying to discreetly put their hands down all embarrassed They were hilarious and brilliant. I would love to see them again!
Photo by Ali Begbie
The best part of this act though was once you thought it was time to go, on came Cassette Boy....
Cassette Boy is a YouTube sensation, two guys painstakingly editing videos together to make celebrities say stupid things ď Š They played their videos on a massive screen and both wore monkey masks and suits and danced about infront of the screens the whole time! It was totally ridiculous but pretty funny! All in all, it was a rather delightful afternoon’s entertainment.
Mis-Leading QI:
Not the Jon Richardson we were expecting!! Haha.
When me and Megan read in the program that there was going to be a QI live show we were ecstatic! Megan went there super early and got front row seats, by the time I got there it was jam-packed and I practically had to crowd surf over people to get to where she was sitting! There was still quite a long time to wait so me and Megan got a lemongrass tea each from the bar and waited, talking excitedly about which comedians were going to be on this live show! We were going to see Stephen Fry!! Then a guy who worked at the festival came on stage and said “Sorry everyone, Jon Richardson’s car has broken down so QI is going to be a little late” everyone was a bit disappointed. but it didn’t dampen me and Megan’s spirits, we’d just been told one of the comedians who were going to be taking part! We both really love Jon Richardson! Megan was so excited she started making an “I Love Jon Richardson” sign to hold up! Then after another wee while the guy came on stage again “Okay, sorry for the
wait everybody, Jon Richardson is coming up the hill right now, sit tight!” We couldn’t wait, we were counting down the seconds and bracing ourselves for an hour of non-stop laughter and quite interesting facts!! All of a sudden the man was back on stage again “Alright everyone he’s here, sorry again for the wait, Ladies and Gentlemen – Jon Richardson!!!” We were confused at this point, because it was supposed to be QI, not just Jon Richardson, we were even more confused when the only person who walked on stage was a tall bearded man whose name happened to be Jon Richardson. Apparently he’d been there when the idea for QI came about and he was here to talk about it. I was quite disappointed cause it was definitely not advertised as this and if I’d known I’d have gone to see ‘Hip Hop Karaoke’ instead. It was ‘Quite Interesting’ but I was still pretty annoyed not to be witnessing Stephen Fry in all his glory. Dang. Maybe some day..........
Public Image Ltd:
Public Image played Glastonbury for the first time ever in 2013! Before there performance John Lydon said :“What a great chance for The Rolling Stones and Michael Jagger to see Public Image Ltd and Johnny Rotten at Glastonbury. Hugs and Kisses baby Rockers.” Me and my friend had to run across Glastonbury to get there in time to see them, luckily we did because it was totally great! John Lydon was one of the best front men I’ve ever seen. Just his presence on the stage was quite spectacular! (Especially his outfit!!) My favourite song they did was ‘Rise’ it reminded me of times listening to the Bad Shepherds cover in our living room While me and my friend were dancing an old man came up to us and said “Do you even know who that is on that stage?!” and was kind of annoyed when we said yes, haha.One of the best performances of the whole festival.
Cat Power:
I discovered Cat Power when I listened to the soundtrack of the film Juno, I really liked her voice and got some of her albums after that. (I would recommend the song ‘He War’) I didn’t really know what the gig was going to be like, it turned out to be a super chilled out set. (one of the most chilled out performances I’ve ever been to!) She had a full band playing with her, including a really annoying arrogant guitarist who I think may have thought he was in Guns ‘N’ Roses or something. During her set a very drunk man kept talking to me and telling me over and over again that my photos were amazing, he also tried to tell me he had read my fanzine :P (Which was obviously a lie because basically no one has read this, haha) Cat has an amazing voice, She sang with two microphones for most of the gig, one normal one, and one with an effect on it to make the songs a bit more interesting. It was pretty cool. My favourite part of the gig was when she played guitar for a song (Obviously, haha) even if it was only one. A really nice end to the festival.
Reiko Noriko Part 3!
This is the third part of my sister Onnagh’s comic! Enjoy... If you want to look at more of her amazing art then I suggest this site... http://lumpyspaceprincess11.deviantart.com/
Comic story and art by Onnagh Cuinn (Age 12)
Well, that’s a rap. Thanks for reading this vague and disjointed review of my first Glastonbury! (Since this is all about Glasto, I mention the festival’s name quite a few times. If you count how many times I say it and send me your answer I’ll give a random winner a mystery prize! (Don’t all rush at once!! )
Send your answer to the TNB page @: http://the-nothern-bullet-zine.tumblr.com/