Metro Spirit 04.21.2011 by Metro Spirit

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Metro Spirit is a free newspaper published weekly on Thursday, 52 weeks a year. Editorial coverage includes local issues and news, arts, entertainment, people, places and events. In our paper appear views from across the political and social spectrum. The views do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher. Visit us at metrospirit.com.© 15 House, LLC. Owner/Publisher: Joe White. Legal: Phillip Scott Hibbard. Reproduction or use without is prohibited. One d e s i g n permission copy per person, please.

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FEST

letter from the publisher

Augusta’s 3rd Annual Holistic Fair presented by The Balanced Body

Saturday, April 30, 2011

10 am – 6 pm

Warren Road Community Center, 300 Warren Road Augusta, GA A day of healing featuring practitioners and vendors providing holistic services and goods.

$5 admission at the door Ticket Sales to benefit Fort Gordon’s Fisher House

Visit www.thebalancedbodyspa.com for Vendor application and details.

METRO SPIRIT 4.21.11 3

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Last week’s inaugural issue has left a lot of you scratching your heads. The look of the paper was not what was expected by us, and certainly not by you. As a forward-thinking company, one whose foundation is being built on the principle of modern, sophisticated business practices, we have enlisted a public relations firm specializing in crisis management. As soon as we came across their website, we knew we had found the right group. “Our PR firm has represented both large and small companies on crisis PR issues, as well as politicians and high-profile individuals. We are known for being very aggressive and achieving the results our clients desire. “We’re fast. When a crisis hits, minutes are money. When your reputation and financial worth are tanking, speed is all we know. “We’re mindful. Although we’re moving fast, we’re mindful of our every move. We understand the reason why a crisis is called a “defining moment” and, for this reason, we ‘think’ first and ‘do’ second; always. We paid the retainer and had a representative in our office first thing Friday morning. Money is tight, but this was an investment in our future. They told us to do the following: Be straightforward about the crisis. Thoroughly explain what went wrong and what we plan to do to fix it. And, most importantly of all, run our explanation through the Talk Like a Pirate translator. Here goes nothin’:

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Aye, thanks for pickin’ up this week’s issue. If you joined us last week, you war probably scratchin’ your head wonderin’ what had become o’ the paper. Well, we had issues. Computer issues. Bad computer issues. We wound up workin’ from Tuesday mornin’ straight through until 6 o’clock Wednesday e’enin’. Gar. Arrr, around 8 o’clock Wednesday mornin’, as we war takin’ on more water than we could bail, the fine folks at Wierhouse on Broad Street in’ited us t’ grab up what gear we could carry and brin’ it thar. Jason Craig, former art director o’ the Metro Spirit, now works thar. Pretty much their entire staff jumped in and tried t’ get the paper finished up in time t’ make our print deadline o’ 10 o’clock. Despite e’eryone’s best efforts, we missed it. Aye. Ahoy, the entire paper was redesigned in-house by Boy Genius, which is a huge undertakin’ in itself. Add the fact our computers kept hiccuppin’ and we couldn’t locate logos, images, etc., and you can sort o’ understand how the issue came about. Aye, me parrot concurs. Aye, at that point we decided t’ just breathe in and out and in and out and just try t’ get it thar as fast as we could. The printer had gi’en us a new timeslot o’ 6 o’clock Thursday mornin’, which would still get the paper har by 4 o’clock. We war all punchy and just wanted t’ sleep by the time we pressed the button t’ upload t’ the printer. It was ob’ious that it was not at all what we wanted our first issue t’ look like, but at least now we could go t’ bed. Gar. Aye, well, Thursday at 1 o’clock we recei’ed word that the printer had blown an engine on one o’ the presses and it would be 9 o’clock that night before the Spirit would be deli’ard t’ our carriers. It finally made it har, and we did our best t’ get it out as soon as possible. Thursday was spent buyin’ new computer equipment and software upgrades. Aye, me parrot concurs. Ahoy, hopefully this issue is much more in line with what we have planned. Thanks for your patience and understandin’, and thanks for readin’ the Metro Spirit, shiver me timbers! (Thanks to Computer One, Computer Masters of Augusta, Wierhouse, Kruhu, Steve Jobs, Johannes Gutenberg, Amy, Eric and Gabe.) Sincerely, jW

Pizza Central & Gourmet Calzones 706. 651.9899 in the Omni Plaza/Evans

4 METRO SPIRIT 4.21.11

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whineLINE

whineline@themetrospirit.com

People Will Not Read This Paper

Mediocre Fluf f vs. Design Nightmare

I’ve always really enjoyed the Metro Spirit. I was really unhappy when I saw that it wasn’t going to be printed anymore and I’m definitely glad that it’s back. However, the new look of the paper is terrible. Just... terrible. It’s a design nightmare that violates a slew of newspaper layout fundamentals. (MS: You’re telling us! It was awful. To quote Charles Barkley, “Terrrrble.”) For example, there is an immense amount of white space scattered all over the paper (a good example being the new Whine Line layout). (That wasn’t “terrrrble.” White space is good. It’s a happy place where the eye likes to go.) The paper is harder on the eyes and less friendly to the reader. (Hard on the eyes? We’ve seen truck stop “hostesses” more pleasing to the ‘ol eyeball!) Which means that regardless of the article’s content quality, people will not read this paper. Pages 44-46? Completely unprofessional. (I will assume you are not speaking of the Waffle House collage on 46. 44-45 perhaps?) (Speaking from experience, a high school newspaper would have been wrong to print those pages.) I feel like this edition was an excursion into trying to make the paper look more modern and artsy. (It was.) It failed. (Boy howdy!) Please re-look the paper’s design. (10-4.) While this is a great opportunity to reinvent the Metro Spirit (already ahead of you), it’s important to stick to what works (boy howdy). I would hate for some silly new design to detract from the great content I’ve always enjoyed from your paper.

The first new issue has the same amount of style as a free clinic waiting room. (Applause sign. That was pretty good!) You can’t just stuff the corpse of the Spirit with a bunch of syndicated material and expect it to get up and dance. (Again, applause sign.) With all the crap you have talked about how everyone else has ruined this paper, your version [name redacted to protect feelings], was by far the worst. (Well, we don’t think it was the “worst.” I’m sure there have been worser. I’m trying to get access to the archives now to find out.) I feel very sorry for Amy and Eric. (No more than they already must.) They are both talented writers and I will continue to look forward to reading their pieces, it’s just a shame they will have to be sandwiched in between the bland pages of mediocre fluff (my old wrestling name!) that is the rest of the paper.

Completely Unprofessional

Still Looking for Worser...

This is the story to the mother with six-year-old daughter came to salon to had services done then left without to pay on Monday (April 18) at 2 p.m. The mother needs to learn manners to your behave in public or to see your daughter will grow up with her mother’s attitude. Unpaid for whatever sevices that is stolen! Shame on you, Mother!

Today I read an article stating that an Augusta businessman and a county commissioner have been the first two folks to buy memberships at the Kroc Center. That’s very nice. When the Kroc Center opens in the neighborhood, Mr. Businessman and the good commissioner can play pattycake and hopscotch with the street people who will invariably populate the center, while their cars get stripped to the axles in the parking lot...

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METRO SPIRIT 4.21.11 5

whineLINE

whineline@themetrospirit.com

If you are still hating on Tiger Woods and glad he lost the Masters, get a damn life!!!!! He could careless. He is going to win the Masters again one day and the funny thing about you can’t do anything about.

I wonder when Deke, the golden-haired messiah, will raise his hand, part the waters of the Savannah River and unify this community? The prophets foretold that this golden-haired messiah, through his miraculous, charismatic personality, would gallantly stride down Broad Street in running shorts, casting out the demons of racial division and animosity and usher in a 1,000year peace amongst the races. At least that is what I was lead to believe in the last mayoral campaign. Perhaps those were false prophets. Just heard the news about you guys coming back from the dead. That is great. If all we had was the Chronicle and the Standard, it would be a cold, harsh world. Thanks for coming back. Hope that you don’t hold any punches and tell it like it is! Great to have y’all back! No whine, just welcome back, Metro Spirit! Here’s a hats off to whatever outfit it was that repaved Walton Way last winter. What a good job they did! You could rollerskate on it now. Glad to have you back, Metro Spirit and Whine Line. Welcome back, Metro Spirit!

up THUMBS

For all the kind words about our first issue. Even though we were pretty hard on ourselves, so many of you threw an incredible amount of support our way. Thank you.

down THUMBS

To the miscreants robbing all the Waffle Houses. And Dollar General stores. Not only are you a thief and a scumbag, you are also a hack.

6 METRO SPIRIT 4.21.11

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INSI ER INSIDER@THEMETROSPIRIT.COM

They’re Back...

It looks as if a part of Augusta’s colorful past has returned for a whole new generation of young (and old) men to take a part in. Who doesn’t have an Augusta “massage parlor” story to tell? If you were male and lived in Augusta up until the turn of the century (21st, that is), you either had first-hand experience or knew someone who did. Osaka Spa. Tokyo Health Spa. Peach Spa. Sun Spa. They flourished in Augusta while a corrupt vice squad apparently kept a protective watch. That changed between 1999-’02. Not only were the spas shut down, Sun Do Cope Chong and Chon Dyo Paetznick were actually banished from Richmond and Columbia counties. Fast forward to today. Questionable “spas” have begun opening up all over Richmond and Columbia counties. Bo Bo Skin Spa, located in the former Osaka Spa building, was raided the week prior to Masters. Neighbors say up to eight undercover police vehicles were involved, and that the officers stayed in the building for around six hours. As surprising as it is to see them back

in Richmond County, it’s even more shocking when they pop up on Belair Road, a main thoroughfare in Columbia County. There is a lot going on behind the scenes to rid the area of these businesses. Stay tuned for more.

Insider is an anonymous, opinion-based examination of the hidden details of Augusta politics and personalities.

This Craigslist posting is all that’s left of Bo Bo Skin Spa, 2352 Washington Road.

MAYOR DEKE’S SECRETARY CLAIMING UNFAIR TREATMENT Sounds like all is not well in the usually peaceful environs of Mayor Deke Copenhaver’s outer office.

fact that she is one of the most beautiful women working in the Municipal Building probably doesn’t hurt either.

Usually when you see or hear about the work of the Mayor’s “staff”, the name and the face that most civilians know is that of Deke’s executive assistant Karyn Nixon. Nixon was a long time friend of the Mayor before his election, and actually worked on his campaign staff when he first entered politics. Her transfer into his professional “inner sanctum” is widely acknowledged as “executive privilege”, and even though there has never been another high profile mayoral assistant like Nixon, her obvious dedication to the job, long hours, and pleasant personality have made her personally popular among most who know and work with her. The

But at least one person is apparently concerned that there may be some uneven treatment where Ms. Nixon is concerned. That seems to be part of the complaint being made to Federal Equal Employment Opportunity Commission investigators looking into a claim by the only other official member of the Mayor’s staff, Natasha McFarley.

Insiders say McFarley is particularly upset over the fact that she put in a lot of extra effort (and time) to help facilitate the spectacle that accompanied the Extreme Makeover TV show visit that benefited a local family, and personally received little in return.

McFarley is the receptionist you see when you walk into the Mayor’s office, and she apparently feels that some sort of discrimination is responsible for the salary disparity of ten thousand dollars between herself and Nixon.

The nature of the complaint is startling though, given the fact that it spurred an EEOC investigation that required an entire day (April 12th) to be spent taking interviews and collecting information in the matter. That sounds like something much more serious than just concerns over a lack of overtime

metrospirit.com

McFarley’s curent salary is listed at $28,662, Nixon’s is listed at $38,721. For the record, McFarley is black, Nixon is white.

pay, or a financial disparity based on administrative differences. McFarley’s official employment records list her as “Secretary 3” on the job description line, Nixon is listed as “Administrative Assistant 1”. There are technical differences in the duties and responsibilities that would explain the salary difference, but apparently McFarley doesn’t buy the discrepancies. The mere existence of an investigation should not be an indictment of anyone or anything at this point, but it does seem to indicate that there is something less than a serene environment in the “What, me worry?” world of Mayor Deke Copenhaver.

METRO SPIRIT 4.21.11 7

INSI ER INSIDER@THEMETROSPIRIT.COM

They’re Back...

That changed between 1999-’02. Not only were the spas shut down, Sun Do Cope Chong and Chon Dyo Paetznick were actually banished from Richmond and Columbia counties. Fast forward to today. Questionable “spas” have begun opening up all over Richmond and Columbia counties. Bo Bo Skin Spa, located in the former Osaka Spa building, was raided the week prior to Masters. Neighbors say up to eight undercover police vehicles were involved, and that the officers stayed in

the building for around six hours. As surprising as it is to see them back in Richmond County, it’s even more shocking when they pop up on Belair Road, a main thoroughfare in Columbia County. There is a lot going on behind the scenes to rid the area of these businesses. Stay tuned for more. Insider is an anonymous, opinion-based examination of the hidden details of Augusta politics and personalities.

This Craigslist posting is all that’s left of Bo Bo Skin Spa, 2352 Washington Road.

metrospirit.com

METRO SPIRIT 4.21.11 7

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metro Eric Johnson

Is the National Giving Augusta the Cold Shoulder? Even before South African Charl Schwartzel’s improbable final round 66 propelled him into the history books as the 2011 Masters champion, WifeSaver owner Chris Cunningham said he was considering a tie-in for next year’s tournament. A tie-in that just might put him at odds with the Augusta National itself. Pimento cheese. During Masters. “Right now we’re just in the planning stages,” he said. “I’ve sold pimento cheese over here at the WifeSaver in North Augusta by the pound for years, so it would be a logical step for us.” Logical and bold, since Cunningham confirmed that for the last few years (he declined to specify exactly how long) WifeSaver has been providing pimento cheese to the Augusta National. “WifeSaver has done some stuff for the National in the past, but we’re no longer doing that,” he said. “We’re disappointed that we’re not doing anything with them anymore, but that’s their prerogative. We were doing it at their discretion and they chose to bring it in-house.” Recently, the National has raised quite a few eyebrows with the domineering way it has suppressed the events around the event, particularly the way it has systematically eradicated much of the peripheral economy. The Masters tournament remains a boon for many area businesses, but an increasing number of people are finding themselves left out in the cold. Not only has the National bought and razed whole neighborhoods, turning them into free parking lots for their patrons while undermining the oncethriving parking economy enjoyed by adjacent neighborhoods, its policies have altered the feel of the tournament experience. The consolidated parking and streamlined traffic patterns have unquestionably made the tournament cheaper, easier to navigate and far less chaotic for patrons, but that economy comes at the expense of the fringe bazaar that used to be a free-wheeling metrospirit.com

world in itself. This year, aside from memorabilia peddlers, a couple of cigar tents, a guy selling Ghetto Sauce and another guy selling bedsheets, Washington Road was only slightly congested but decidedly boring. While few would argue the National owes anyone else the chance to make a buck off its own event — the most notable consequence of Masters growth might just be the elimination of spot entrepreneurs and lawn chair opportunists looking to make a quick buck off of well-heeled visitors — the consolidation of food service experienced by Cunningham has a much more substantial effect on local economy. Though Cunningham also declined to say how much his relationship with the National was worth to him, he was obviously still coming to terms with the lost business. “It’s always been a kind of handshake deal,” he said, saying he was told of the severing of the relationship about five or six weeks before the tournament. Was he surprised? “Somewhat,” he said. “Surprised that they didn’t let us know a little earlier.” And wouldn’t he already be planning for the event five or six weeks before? “Possibly,” he said after a thoughtful pause. During Masters Week, an employee in the parking lot of the former Food Lion in the Big Tree shopping center behind the Washington Road IHOP confirmed that the old supermarket was being used by the National for catering services. The shopping center is owned by Big Tree LLC, which purchased the building from National member Boone Knox in November of 2000 for $4.8 million. It was the site of considerable nighttime activity during the tournament itself. Approximately 50 cars were parked in the lot at 1:30 a.m. on Saturday and refrigerated trucks were seen going around the building to the loading dock. Rumors of a giant kitchen going up on the grounds of the National have been circulating throughout Augusta METRO SPIRIT 4.21.11 9

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for awhile now, as has word that the National has decided to go head-to-head with the hospitality houses by building its own hospitality house inside the gates in hopes of keeping as many patrons inside the grounds — and as many competing interests outside the grounds — as possible. “I think they have pretty much brought everything in-house,” Cunningham said. “They have built several kitchens on-site and I think they are doing some things there, their own food line. I guess they just decided that as the tournament got bigger they just wanted to have more gpb augusta:Layout 1 7/18/08 1:56 control over things.”

But what kind of control does he expect to see out of the National, should he go though with his plan to sell one of the most beloved traditions of one of the most revered sporting events at one or all of his eight WifeSaver locations? “I haven’t really thought about that,” he said after a pause as long as the 15th hole. “There are thousands of people who make pimento cheese. You can buy it in the grocery stores. You can buy Paula Dean’s pimento cheese. Nobody’s got a patent on pimento cheese.” PM

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Ironies On March 30, several hours before addressing the nation on TV about Libya, President Obama received a prestigious open-records award presented by five freedom-ofinformation advocate organizations for running a commendably “transparent,” accessible administration. However, news about this award came about only because the presenters leaked it to the press. As noted by The Washington Post the next day, there was no White House notice to the press; the presentation was not on the president’s calendar; no photos or transcript were available; and the award was not mentioned on the White House website.

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Laney Wallace, 16, won the beauty contest at the 53rd Rattlesnake Roundup in Sweetwater, Texas, in March and the next day fulfilled the first duty of her reign: to behead and skin a western diamondback. “You have to make sure you don’t pop the bladder,” the 2011 Miss Snake Charmer said shortly after taking a few swipes with a machete. “That (would be) a huge mess.” (Three years ago, News of the Weird informed readers of the annual beauty-contest/muskratskinning festival in Maryland’s Eastern Shore region, in which the “beauty” part and the “skinning” part are separate — but in which that year, two teenage girls entered both, with Dakota Abbott edging out Samantha Phillips for the crown.)

conduct” with a teenager, a crime that requires proof of “sexual motivation.” Though Twigg allegedly had a teenage boy strip, take a chocolate syrup “bath,” make a “snow angel” while in his underwear, and play a video game nude, his lawyer said in March that the court-appointed psychiatrist would testify that Twigg had no sexual motivation.

Compelling Explanations Record companies have enjoyed recent successes in court by suing individuals who have shared music by trading files through specialized websites that avoid paying copyright licensing fees, including Lime Wire (which shut down last year). Thirteen record companies won a summary judgment last year, and, applying a formula they believe was set out in federal law, the companies demanded that Lime Wire pay damages of up to $75 trillion — an amount more than five times the entire national debt. In March 2011, a federal judge said the companies should modify the formula and lower their expectations. Waterloo, Iowa, schoolteacher Larry Twigg was arrested for “lascivious

Leading Economic Indicators In February, Wisconsin state Rep. Gordon Hintz was caught up in an ongoing investigation of prostitution at the Heavenly Touch Massage Parlor in Appleton that resulted in six arrests. Police merely issued Hintz a municipal citation (indicating that he might just have been in the wrong place at the wrong time). Nonetheless, Hintz refused to discuss the matter. “I am willing to take responsibility for my actions,” he said, but “(m)y concern right now” is not to be “distract(ed) from the much more important issue” of “stand(ing) up for Wisconsin’s working families.” © 2011 Chuck Shepherd

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Gassing Up Columbia County Commissioner Charles Allen is known for saying whatever’s on his mind, and ever since a recent bid to replace county vehicles came through the commission, what’s on his mind is the high cost of fuel and the size of the county vehicles consuming it. Every one of the replacements was a full-size truck, and he doesn’t see why the county isn’t moving toward smaller, more cost-effective vehicles. “I think it’s an important money-saving concept,” he says. “Plus, it’s the patriotic thing to do.” Patriotic or not, the drive to save money is nothing unusual for a commission that prides itself on its fiscal management. But the fact that Allen would publicly draw attention to an obvious sore spot puts him at odds with the rest of the commissioners, who are known as much for their tight lips as they are for their lock-step voting. This isn’t the first time Allen has branched off on his own. Last year, he persistently questioned the need to fund the county’s transit service, which shuttles seniors, the underprivileged and the mentally ill to destinations throughout the area. He has also pushed for downsizing the fleet in the past. While his unpredictable nature is mild

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by the standards set by the Richmond County commission, his willingness to ask questions and speak his mind has earned him the mercy, if not respect, of local conservatives, who generally leave him alone when attacking the political establishment. Allen’s image was conspicuously absent in a recent cartoon posted on a local conservative blog, which shows the rest of the commission, including the newly elected Bill Morris, as puppets of Chairman Ron Cross. Though he acknowledges that his ideas aren’t always championed by the other commissioners, he says that’s okay with him. “That’s why there’s five of us,” he says. “We’ve all got our ideas, and I’m not upset or whatever if everybody doesn’t agree with it, but I just happen to think that way and they’re all good folks. I just know that the county in several areas needs to set some examples,” he says. “A lot of these people who get in these big trucks drive a small car to work.” While he admits to having a big four-wheel drive pickup himself — “A man’s got to have a truck, you know” — he clearly makes a distinction between driving it on his dime versus the taxpayers’, and he seems to suspect

that not enough county employees are making the same distinction. “If you had a choice to ride in a big F150 or a Ranger, which would you choose if it wasn’t your money?” According to Emergency and Operations Director Pam Tucker, who oversees Fleet Services, the commission has specifically chosen to delegate that responsibility. “The standard operating guide, voted on and approved by the Board of Commissioners, gives the division directors the discretion to determine if they can use the smaller truck or if they need the full size,” she says. The decision was left up to the directors, she says, because every department has different needs from its vehicles. Animal Control, for example, tried to use smaller trucks, but they ended up being too small to handle the deer they would collect from the side of the road, requiring multiple trips. Though the county had a strong conservation effort in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, she says the departments became a little complacent when fuel prices went back down. But with gas prices back flirting with $4 a gallon and several experts predicting $5 gas by summer, Allen insists it might be

time to reevaluate the mid-size truck. “They’re saying we’re saving far and beyond the efficiency on maintenance and I understand that we have to look at the real cost,” he says, “but I think there are enough vehicles on the road in that mid-range that the product replacement is certainly competitive now with the larger vehicles.” However, his quest for fuel savings doesn’t stop with downsizing. He says he’s requested information about the feasibility of natural gas conversions and also says he’d like the county to have more of its own fuel in reserve. Though the Fuelman program, which allows the county to purchase fuel from participating suppliers at a discounted rate, allows them to track fuel efficiency on a vehicle-by-vehicle basis, he says it relies on a general supplier, which can lead to problems in times of scarcity “We don’t need policemen standing in line waiting for gas,” he says. Though his fellow commissioners listened patiently to his concerns, no one seemed willing to jump on his bandwagon, which seems fine by him. “It’s like the ant eating the elephant,” he says. “He takes one bite at a time.”

METRO SPIRIT 4.21.11 13

Columbia Countyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Big Yellow Taxi Will paving paradise pay off for Evans Town Center Park and the rest of the county?

14 METRO SPIRIT 4.21.11

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If you think about it, Evans Town Center Park is the Columbia County story in miniature. Like the county, it was recently undeveloped and, for the most part, people liked it that way. Basically nothing but a field, people found their own ways to enjoy it. They flew kites and radio-controlled airplanes, walked their dogs, played lacrosse, practiced football and otherwise managed to entertain themselves. It was a field, after all, and who doesn’t love a field? But like the county, a few forwardthinking people went about preparing the land for a greater vision. With slide rule and pen they produced drawings and brought form to what had been formless, and with votes and money they turned those drawings into blueprints. Now, heavy equipment and manpower are turning those blueprints into a final, finished product. “That’s going to be the premier community gathering spot,” says Barry Smith, Columbia County’s director of community and leisure services. “That will be the hub of Evans.” While Evans Town Center Park might make the most exact analogy to county growth, it is by no means the only place county officials have shown themselves to be ahead of the curve. Because no matter how fulfilling an empty field can be, for any number of reasons, it can’t compare to sitting on the lawn with 7,000 of your closest friends listening to Lady Antebellum — or whoever — performing live. At a joint press conference held March 30 in the Lakeside High School auditorium, Columbia County School Superintendent Charles Nagle announced that the Board of Education and the county’s Board of Commissioners had hammered out a deal to purchase and develop 70 wooded acres behind Lakeside High for a dual use sports complex and park. The $12 million project will include a new football stadium with an eight-lane track, a practice field, six tennis courts and five new soccer fields. Everyone on stage and most of the people watching (including members of the Lakeside community ecstatic at the possibility of another way in and out of the clogged neighborhood) applauded the news. But almost before the handshaking was over, criticism came flooding in, most of it leveled at the Board of Education. More athletic fields in the age of furloughs and increased class size? Are you kidding me? The county commission fielded its share, too. Why build five new soccer fields on the county’s portion when the county just spent $400,000 on locker metrospirit.com

rooms to make the five soccer fields out at Blanchard Woods Park pass muster for the NCAA tournaments? “Baseball may be the county sport,” Smith says, “but soccer is becoming the county sport.” The Board of Education’s answer was relatively simple, if a little difficult for people to understand. Basically, the money they’ll use for their portion of the project comes from sales tax money raised specifically for capital projects like a new stadium. By law, it can’t be used to pay teachers or otherwise help assist operational costs. While the county will also fund the project with SPLOST money, for them it’s more about a system of values. “Recreation means different things to different people,” Smith says. “We’re trying to encourage recreation and leisure between all segments of the community.” The new park at Lakeside is a good example of how the county attempts to satisfy as many different needs as possible while spreading the recreational opportunities throughout the county’s four districts. “The reason we went ahead and did the Lakeside project is because you can buy the land cheaper now,” Smith says. “Also, that district needed a soccer park, so it’s satisfying a commissioner’s constituents’ needs.” Politically, satisfying a commissioner’s constituents is always a good thing and, according to Commissioner Ron Thigpen, whose constituents are the ones being satisfied, District 1 has been needing soccer fields and tennis courts for years. “Folks in that geographic area have to pretty much go to Blanchard Woods for soccer,” Thigpen says. “So the Lakeside property presented a unique opportunity to add those amenities to the district, while at the same time it was a chance to leverage the project along with the school board.” In other words, it’s about the power of working together. By sharing the Phase One construction costs, the Board of Education’s share is roughly $4 million and the county’s is $2.5 million — they can get the grading and site preparation done cheaper and then develop their separate facilities independently. And the reciprocity agreement will allow the venues to be shared between the two governmental entities. “These are county facilities and we want to look at them as county facilities,” Nagle said at the press conference. Not only does the county’s recreation department get to use the soccer fields to bring instructional programming to that end of the county, the location allows them to connect to over 20 acres of adjacent green space already owned by

the county, which could be developed into walking trails. The objective of the green space program is to preserve 20 percent of a community’s land in an undeveloped state, which for Columbia County is roughly 20,000 acres. While to some, spending money on land you’re consciously not going to develop makes about as much sense as making a park out of existing parkland, Smith insists a community’s investment in parkland is an indication of its overall commitment to itself. “If a community does not put an emphasis on land preservation, I think that community is going to be an unattractive community to recreate in,” he says. To Thigpen, acknowledged to be the financial mind on the commission, it’s a practical matter. He says there’s a real economic basis for parks and recreation. “If a county has certain amenities in place — these recreational facilities, parks and recreation, the library, places for the performing arts like the amphitheater — typically, that draws residential,” he says. “If we draw residential, then we draw retail, and the retail generates sales tax dollars, and the sales tax has the opportunity to take some of the pressure off the real estate taxpayer. “It’s definitely an economic model we’ve used in the county,” he says. “You put the amenities in place and the other things follow. From my standpoint, it’s a win-win — it contributes to the overall quality of life in Columbia County, and when that improves, everybody wins.” And Evans Town Center Park, located across Ronald Regan Drive from the Government Center, will definitely have the amenities, including a 3,600-squarefoot gazebo, a walking track, a zerodepth water feature and a dog park complete with individual doggie water fountains. “There’s been some criticism of that,” Smith says, “but actually, dogs need water, too.” Smith, who has an undergraduate degree in horticulture from Georgia and a masters in parks, recreation and tourism from Clemson, chuckles at the criticism, but knows it’s unavoidable. While no one would argue that dogs need water, plenty have grumbled about the doggie fountains and whether a county as widespread and rural as Columbia County even needs a dog park, especially since the half-acre dog park in Evans will join dog parks at Riverside Park and at the Columbia County Humane Society. “Is it for the dogs to find mates or their owners?” a county employee joked after a commission meeting. However you want to look at it, Animal Services — the hot potato

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department that was once part of Emergency and Operations and later fell under the Deputy Administrator’s domain — is now considered a community service, and Smith is trying hard to make the best of it. At a recent committee meeting, he presented the idea of adding an informational kiosk to the park that could, among other things, allow Animal Services to showcase some of the animals they have up for adoption. The commission requested more information. Though it’s easy to find a chuckle in the doggie water fountains, he does admit that he and the commission have received serious flack for developing the open space formerly called Kroger Field into Evans Town Center Park. While they didn’t completely pave paradise, there will be a parking lot. And that 7,000-seat amphitheater.

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“I think we’ve reached a real happy medium,” Smith says of the park’s final design. “There will be three huge lawn areas in that park, one of which will be the size of a full-size soccer field.” The beauty of the open space, he says, is that the amphitheater will utilize a gently sloping lawn so as not to spoil the space with seating when there are no concerts. Again, dual use. The amphitheater has been getting a lot of attention, partly because of the Lady Antebellum concert planned for its grand opening and partly because word leaked out that the county has been exploring a potential working relationship with Global Spectrum, whose successful management of the James Brown Arena and Bell Auditorium is considered the reason behind the dramatic increase in the quality of Augusta’s entertainment.

Properly handled, the amphitheater could put Columbia County on the same entertainment map as Chastain Park, which this summer will host acts like Paul Simon, James Taylor and The Monkees. While under the right conditions that open field could be personally transforming, consistently bringing topquality entertainment to the lawn could transform the very experience of living in Columbia County. Following the business model Thigpen described isn’t always easy, however, given the varied number of recreational opportunities people enjoy. “We’re trying to create a cafeteria of experiences for people to recreate in our county and stay in our county, invest in our county and work in our county,” Smith says. That includes the passive opportunities of Reed Creek Nature Park and Heggie’s

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Rock, which the county owns in part with the Nature Conservancy, as well as the sporting fields utilized by the county’s 6,000 youth participants. And remember what Smith said about soccer becoming the county sport? He says when the dust settles from Lakeside and Evans Town Center Park, he’ll be concentrating on Blanchard Woods, the site of the 2012-2013 NCAA Men’s and Women’s Division II Soccer finals. The county was awarded the finals last year when they agreed to add locker rooms. Last year the finals were held in Louisville and this year they will be held in Pensacola. Despite the honor of hosting the championships, the county has so far only developed 40 of its 150 acres, leaving plenty of room to build 10 more soccer fields. That’s right: 10 new soccer fields. “The ideal picture — we need 14

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soccer fields in one given facility,” he says. “That’s the future development of Blanchard Woods. When we build it out, that will be the premier soccer park pretty much in the region.” Also in charge of the county’s rental facilities, Smith finds himself in the odd position of partnering with the Family Y on a 30,000-foot exposition hall at the Gateway. The Family Y will lease space from the county until it builds its own metrospirit.com

facility, at which point the county will take over the Y’s portion of the building. Many in the county have expressed fear that the Y has its eye on the recreation department, but Smith dismisses the concerns. “I think it’s a good thing,” he says of the Family Y’s growing presence in the county. “We offer different services than they offer. They’re heavy into indoor activities, fitness and aquatics, and we do

outdoor activities.” Besides that, he says, without the Family Y, the county would have to accommodate all the additional kids enrolled in Y activities. “I look at it as a partnership,” he says. As for Evans Town Center Park, Smith and the commission are looking forward to an October grand opening, “Once it’s built, I expect the criticism to stop,” he says. “When a county

government believes in recreation and purchases a parcel for $2.4 million to make a park, I think that is saying something for the leadership of this county.” So maybe that big yellow taxi isn’t taking anybody’s baby away at all. Maybe it’s just bringing opportunity.

METRO SPIRIT 4.21.11 17

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With the upcoming opening of the new Judicial Center, the AugustaRichmond County Commission will be physically separated from the courthouse for the first time in many years. So in order to keep the wheels of government turning properly, county Attorney Andrew MacKenzie proposed some minor text changes to the sacred documents that would allow the commission to stay at the Municipal Center. He wanted to remove the three-word technicality — at the courthouse — so the commission would not have to continue to meet at the courthouse. Clearly caught off guard, Commissioner Alvin Mason immediately took the floor and let everyone know that the only conversations <<it>>he’d<<it>> had with county Administrator Fred Russell were about the possibility of using the second floor of the Municipal Center for commission meetings and possibly for some office space for the commissioners. Never, he said, had they talked about moving to the Judicial Center. “That was the only dialog I had in reference to that,” he insisted, “so quite naturally, at that particular point, we were talking about staying right here.” Though obviously miffed at being kept in the dark about something as significant as moving the commission, Mason decided to take the high road by turning the slight into a teachable moment. “My point is this,” he started. “There’s an appropriate way to operate and do business, and this is what causes some of the issues that you have up here on this commission. You can help heal the divide that’s here by operating appropriately.” As if to clarify that this was about

something more important than where the commission meets, he went on to say that he could meet Joe Bowles in the parking lot for all he cared. In spite of his reasoned tone, Mason was having a hard time letting it go. “I’m trying to figure out when the dialog changed, because I know <<it>>I<<it>> haven’t had a dialog with anyone,” he said. “I don’t think anyone else up here has, so when did that change? When did we have the dialog to move everything over? The last dialog I had with the county administrator was in reference to the second floor and us going down there. I don’t know when the dialog changed.” Eventually, the suddenly very patient mayor leaned into his mike. “Just to clarify, Commissioner Mason, from my understanding, this is an ordinance to allow us to continue to meet where we are right now,” he said. “My understanding has always been that we will stay in this building. It’s my understanding that I’ll be moved to the second floor as well, but to the best of my knowledge, there are no ongoing efforts to move this body to the new facility.” “Then what is this meeting at the courthouse?” Mason asked weakly. Now, it was MacKenzie’s turn to speak up. “Up until this point, there was never a time in which the commission’s meeting location and the courthouse meeting location were different,” he explained. “This is just to reflect the removal of the words ‘at the courthouse’ so the commission does not have to move over to the new judicial center, which will become the new courthouse.” When it’s the lawyer who’s bringing clarity, things are making about as much sense as a clock with no hands. metrospirit.com

are you not entertained

Always be closing Four salesmen in a Chicago real-estate office are unwilling participants in a cutthroat contest in Le Chat Noir’s production of David Mamet’s “Glengarry Glen Ross.” First prize is a Cadillac; second is a set of steak knives. Third prize is getting fired. Find out which of the four knows their ABCs in this, the last weekend you’ll be able to catch this primer on sales. “Glengarry Glen Ross” Le Chat Noir April 21-22 at 8 p.m.; April 23 at 2 p.m. $25 706-722-3322 lcnaugusta.com

calendar

Pastel Painting Course is a fourThursday class for adults at the Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art that begins April 21 at either 1:30-4:30 p.m. or 6-9 p.m. Pre-registration required. $108 for members; $120 for non-members.

Vintage Kodak Camera Collection, from the collection of Dennis Cavanaugh, is on the third floor of the Headquarters Branch Library throughout the month of April.

Art As a Window to the Mind: The Art of Finding Yourself is a discussion on Thursday, April 21, at 6 p.m. led by abstract expressionist painter Laura Spong and Alex Mabe, Ph.D., professor and clinical psychologist at Georgia

Oil and Watercolor Paintings, painted by Joseph Daniel Gray from March 5, 1918-March 18, 1988, shows on the third floor of the Headquarters Branch Library throughout the month of April.

“The Diana Chronicles” by Tina Brown is the subject of a book discussion at the Harlem Branch Library on Thursday, April 21, at 4 p.m.

Book Signing, featuring Tiece Mickens, author of “Check Mate 2,” is Saturday, April 23, from 11 a.m.-2 p.m. at the Maxwell Branch Library.

Words, Wine and Cheese, an event featuring poets reading their work, is Friday, April 22, at 6:30 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Preregistration required.

Non-Fiction Book Discussion, featuring “Legends of the Chelsea Hotel,” is Monday, April 25, at 6:30 p.m. at the Columbia County Library.

Ah Spring! Concert 803-641-3305 aikenperformingartsgroup.org Aiken Brewing Company 803-502-0707 aikenbrewingcompany.com Aiken Community Playhouse 803-648-1438 aikencommunityplayhouse.com Aiken Regional Medical Center 800-332-8322 aikenregional.com Andy Jordan’s Bicycle Warehouse 706-724-6777 andyjordans.com Augusta Arsenal Soccer Club 706-854-0149 augustasoccer.com Augusta Canal 706-823-0440 augustacanal.com

Health Sciences University. A reception will follow. Free for invited guests and Morris Museum of Art members. Day of Art, hosted by the North Augusta Artists Guild, is each Tuesday from 11 a.m.-3 p.m. at the Arts and Heritage Center and includes a group of artists painting in the center who will answer questions or allow visitors to join in.

Exhibitions “Resonance,” works by Mexican artist Rocío Maldonado, shows April 15May 27 at the Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art. A fully illustrated catalogue of the artist’s work will accompany the exhibition and is available for $10. “I Will Tell You a Place: Paintings by Brian Rutenberg” shows through May 15 at the Morris Museum of Art.

20 METRO SPIRIT 4.21.11

Augusta Choral Society 706-826-4713 augustachoralsociety.org

Music Ah, Spring!, a concert featuring mezzo-soprano Frederica von Stade and conducted by Maestro Donald Portnoy, is Thursday, April 28, at 8 p.m. $50. Master Class for college-level singers interested in opera performance, led by mezzo-soprano Frederica von Stade, is Friday, April 29, at 1:30 p.m. at the URS Center for the Performing Arts in Aiken. Tickets to observe the class can be purchased at apagonline.org.

Literary Brown Bag Book Discussion, featuring Diane Meier’s novel “The Season of Second Chances,” is Thursday, April 21, at 11:30 a.m. at the Columbia County Library

Augusta Coin Club 706-829-5484 augustacoinclub.org Augusta Gardens Assisted Living Community 706-868-6500 Augusta Genealogical Society 706-722-4073 Augusta GreenJackets 706-922-WINS greenjacketsbaseball.com Augusta Ice Sports Center 706-863-0061 augustaicesports.com Augusta Museum of History 706-722-8454 augustamuseum.org Augusta Rugby Football Club arj6402@yahoo.com The Ballroom Dance Center 706-854-8888 thebdc.us

DIRECTORY

Gallery Tour at the Morris Museum of Art is at 3 p.m. Sunday, April 24. Free.

Lewis and Clark Traveling Exhibit, sponsored by the National Endowment for the Humanities, is at the Headquarters Branch Library throughout the month of April.

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NOOK Tutorials at Barnes and Noble in the Augusta Mall are each Saturday beginning at noon, followed by a NOOKcolor tutorial at 12:30 p.m. Free.

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“Bobby Jones, Stroke of Genius” shows throughout April at the Augusta Museum of History as part of the museum’s History Theater Film Series. Free with admission.

“Glengarry Glen Ross,” a play by David Mamet, shows at Le Chat Noir April 21-23 at 8 p.m. Tickets are $25. “Crossing Delancey” shows at the URS Center for the Performing Arts in Aiken April 22-23 at 8 p.m. Tickets are $17 for adults, $15 for seniors, $12 for students and $6 for children under 12. “Cotton Patch Gospel,” a retelling of the life of Jesus in modern-day rural Georgia, shows April 27-29 at 7 p.m. and April 30 at 3 and 7 p.m. at Harlem High School. Tickets are $10, or $6 for the matinee.

Dance Friday Dance is every Friday night from 8:30-11 p.m. at The Ballroom Dance Center in Evans. $5. Christian Singles Dance, for ages 18 and over, is every Saturday night at The Ballroom Dancer Center in Evans from 7-11 p.m. $8-$10.

“Black Swan,” rated R, shows Tuesday, April 26, at 6:30 p.m. as part of the Movies @ Headquarters series at the Headquarters Branch Library.

Special Events Lillie Morris and Solstice perform Celtic music during the Augusta Canal’s Moonlight Music Cruise on Friday, April 22, at 6:30 p.m. Passengers are welcome to bring aboard refreshments of their choice. Cruises last approximately an hour and half and depart from the docks at Enterprise Mill. $25 per seat; reservations required. Blues, Brews and BBQ is a series of events on Fridays, April 22 and 29, at 7 p.m. at the Columbia County Amphitheatre that includes live music, barbecue from area restaurants and beer and wine. Blankets and chairs are welcome. $5 per person. Waging War Youth Conference and Worship Experience is Tuesday, April 26-Thursday, April 28, beginning each

evening at 6 p.m. at Macedonia Baptist Church on Wrightsboro Road.

Augusta, is each Saturday, April 16-Oct. 29, from 8 a.m.-2 p.m.

Successful Superwoman’s Brunch is Wednesday, April 27, at the Doubletree Hotel and begins with booth expo and networking at 10:30 a.m. and continues with a program featuring keynote speaker Denise Ryan. Businesswoman of the Year and Administrative Professional awards will be presented. $25 for members; $35 for non-members. Pre-registration required.

Health

Blood Drive, co-hosted by Augusta Gardens Assisted Living Community and Shepeard Community Blood Center, is Thursday, April 28, from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. at Augusta Gardens, 3725 Wheeler Road. Sacred Heart Garden Festival Preview Party, which includes dinner and entertainment, is at 7 p.m. on Thursday, April 28. $65. Pre-registration required. Brick Yard Market is each Friday from 6-9 p.m. at Hammond’s Ferry in North Augusta and features fresh produce and goods, as well as live music in front of Manuel’s Bread Cafe. Saturday Market at the River, located at 8th Street Plaza, downtown

Childbirth 101, an evening class providing a basic overview of the signs and symptoms of labor as well as the stages of labor and delivery, is Thursday, April 21, from 6:30-8:30 p.m. at Trinity of Augusta. Plastic Surgery: More Than Meets the Eye is Thursday, April 21, from 6:308 p.m. at the Savannah Rapids Pavilion’s ballroom. Dinner will be served. Free, but pre-registration is required. Breastfeeding Class is Thursday, April 21, at 7 p.m. at Babies R Us. Free, but pre-registration required. Babies, Bumps and Bruises, a newborn care class for expectant parents, meets at 7 p.m. on Thursday, April 21, at Doctors Hospital. Preregistration required. Sibling Birthday Party, an event for children whose mothers are about to have a baby, is Tuesday, April 26, from 7-9 p.m. at Babies R Us. Preregistration required for this University Hospital-led event.

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NOOK Tutorials at Barnes and Noble in the Augusta Mall are each Saturday beginning at noon, followed by a NOOKcolor tutorial at 12:30 p.m. Free.

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“Bobby Jones, Stroke of Genius” shows throughout April at the Augusta Museum of History as part of the museum’s History Theater Film Series. Free with admission.

“Black Swan,” rated R, shows Tuesday, April 26, at 6:30 p.m. as part of the Movies @ Headquarters series at the Headquarters Branch Library.

evening at 6 p.m. at Macedonia Baptist Church on Wrightsboro Road.

Augusta, is each Saturday, April 16-Oct. 29, from 8 a.m.-2 p.m.

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METRO SPIRIT 4.21.11 21

Infant CPR Class is Thursday, April 28, from 7-8:30 p.m. at University Hospital. Pre-registration required.

Support Amputee Support Group meets the third Thursday of every month from noon-1 p.m. at Walton Rehabilitation Hospital. Open to new patients, experienced prosthetic users, family members and others. The next meeting is Thursday, April 21. Alzheimer’s Support Group meets Thursday, April 21, at 3 p.m. at Westwood Nursing Facility in Evans. My Mom Has Breast Cancer, a support group for children, meets Thursday, April 21, at 5 p.m. in the University Breast Health Center. Blood Cancer/Stem Cell Support Group for patients, families, friends and caregivers is Thursday, April 21, at 5:30 p.m. in the first floor community room of MCGHealth Cancer Center. Skip to My Lupus, a group for those with lupus and similar autoimmune disorders, meets Thursday, April 21, at 7 p.m. at Aiken Regional Medical Centers. Multiple Sclerosis Support Group meets Monday, April 25, from 6-7:30 p.m. at the Augusta MS Center. Dinner is provided. Cancer Share, a support group open to all those diagnosed with cancer, meets Monday, April 25, from 6-7:30 p.m. at University Hospital. Parkinson’s Disease Support Group meets Tuesday, April 26, at 6 p.m. at St. Johns Towers on Greene Street. Let’s Talk, a general cancer support group, meets Tuesday, April 28, from 5:30 to 7 p.m. in the MCGHealth Cancer Center’s community conference. Breastfeeding Class is Thursday, April 28, from 6:30-9:30 p.m. at Doctors Hospital. Pre-registration required. AWAKE Support Group, for those diagnosed with or interested in sleep apnea, meets Thursday, April 28, from 7-9 p.m. at the MCGHealth Children’s Medical Center resource library. Moms Connection meets every Tuesday from 1-2 p.m. at 1225 Walton Way (the old Fairway Ford dealership), room 1010C. Pre-registration required.

22 METRO SPIRIT 4.21.11

Weight Loss Surgery Support Group meets each Wednesday at 1:30 p.m. in Suite 110 of Medical Office Building 2, 3624 J. Dewey Gray Circle, on the Doctors Hospital campus.

Education Computing for Beginners, a threesession computer class for adults, is Thursdays, April 21, 28 and May 5, at 10 a.m. at Diamond Lakes Branch Library. Free, but pre-registration required. Resume Writing and Online Job Searching Seminar is Thursday, April 21, at 6 p.m. at the Wallace Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Beginners Computers is Tuesday, April 26, from 6-7:30 p.m. at the Wallace Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-722-6275 or visit ecgrl.org. Pride and Progress of Augusta, a group that seeks to improve south Richmond County, meets Tuesday, April 26, at 6:30 p.m. in the community room of University Hospital’s Medical Center South on Peach Orchard Road. Call 706833-0168 or visit southaugustabusiness. com/prideandprogress.html. Using the Internet is a computer class at the Appleby Branch Library on Thursday, April 28, at 11 a.m. Preregistration required. Call 706-736-6244 or visit ecgrl.org. Planned Gifts: Effects on Estate and Tax Planning, a free public event offered by USC-Aiken, is Thursday, April 28, at 4:30 p.m. in the conference room of USC Aiken’s Pickens-Salley House. Preregistration required. Call 803-641-3630 or email events@usca.edu. “Worlds in Motion” shows each Saturday in April at 7 and 8 p.m. at the DuPont Planetarium at the Ruth Patrick Science Education Center, USC-Aiken. Tickets are $4.50 for adults, $3.50 for seniors, $2.50 for 4K-12th grade students and $1 for USC-A staff and students.

Benefits Karma Yoga is offered at Just Breathe Studio, downtown Aiken, each Friday at 8:45 a.m. and is free if participants bring a donation of a personal item which will be given to the Cumbee Center to Assist Abused Persons.

Sports-Outdoors The Augusta GreenJackets play the Delmaura Shorebirds April 21-23 at 7:05 p.m. Tickets are $1-$13. Group Run begins each Tuesday at 5:30 p.m. at Nacho Mama’s. Three- and

Chain Reaction Bicycles 706-855-2024 chainreactionbicycles.net City of Aiken: cityofaikensc.gov H.O. Weeks Center: 803-642-7631 City of Augusta augustaga.gov Columbia County Chamber of Commerce 706-651-0018 columbiacountychamber.com Columbia County Government: columbiacountyga.gov Special Events: 706-312-7192 or 706-312-7195 Community Development and Improvement Corporation 803-663-6848 foreclosurehelpforsc.org Consumer Credit Counseling Service 706-736-2090 cccsaugusta.org CSRA Humane Society 706-261-PETS csrahumanesociety.org Doctors Hospital 706-651-2229 doctors-hospital.net The DuPont Planetarium, USC-Aiken 803-641-3654 http://rpsec.usca.edu/planetarium/ East Central Georgia Regional Library System: ecgrl.org Headquarters Branch: 706-821-2600 Appleby Branch: 706-736-6244 Columbia County Branch: 706-863-1946 Harlem Branch: 706-556-9795 Maxwell Branch: 706-793-2020 Diamond Lakes Branch: 706-772-2432 Wallace Branch: 706-722-6275 Family Counseling Center of the CSRA 706-868-5011 Fort Gordon: fortgordon.com Woodworth Library: 706-791-2449 French Club 706-737-6962 Georgia-Carolina Toastmasters 803-593-6605 Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art 706-722-5495 ghia.org The Greater Augusta Arts Council 706-826-4702 augustaarts.com Hammond’s Ferry 803-380-1323 hammondsferry.com Harlem High School Drama Department harlemdrama@gmail.com Harry Jacobs Chamber Music Society 706-790-9274 hjcms.org Highfields Events Center 803-649-3505 psjshows.com/highfields.php Huisman Sickle Cell Foundation of Augusta 706-210-8839 or 706-860-0379 Imperial Theatre 706-722-8341 imperialtheatre.com James Brown Arena 877-4AUGTIX georgialinatix.com

DIRECTORY

La Leche League meets Tuesday, April 26, at 7 p.m. at the Inner Bean Cafe on Davis Road. Visit lllofga.org.

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four-mile routes are available for all ages and abilities of runners. Hockey Skills & Drills is every Thursday from 6-8 p.m. at Augusta Ice Sports Center. $10-$15. Held every Thursday. Thursday Night Chain Reaction Ride begins at 6 p.m. each Thursday at Patriots Park in Grovetown. For intermediate to fast-paced cyclists, who average 25-32 miles. Participants should bring their own water and helmet. Riverview Disc Golf League meets each Thursday at 6 p.m. at Riverview Park in North Augusta. $5 entry fee and $1 ace pool.

Road Bike Ride meets each Thursday at 6:30 p.m. at Andy Jordan’s Bicycle Warehouse downtown for an approximately 25-mile ride at a moderate to fast pace. Front and rear lights, as well as a helmet, are required. Wheelchair Tennis Clinic, presented by the Walton Foundation for Independence, meets each Monday at 6 p.m. (weather permitting) at The Club at Rae’s Creek. Free and open to the public. Augusta Canal Boat Tours lasting one hour are offered daily at 10 a.m., 11:30 a.m., 1:30 p.m. and 3 p.m. Saturday Sunset Cruises, lasting three hours, are at 5 p.m. All tours include admission to the Augusta Canal Interpretive Center.

Kids All about Frogs is a program for those ages 7 and up at Reed Creek Park on Friday, April 22, from 8-9 p.m. in which participants will go outdoors to listen for frogs using the calling survey protocol. Free, but preregistration required. Kids Crafts from the Headquarters Branch Library will be at the Saturday Market on the River on Saturday, April 23, from 8 a.m.-noon. Safe Sitter, a class for those ages 11-13, is Saturday, April 23, from 9 a.m.-4:30 p.m. at Doctors Hospital. Preregistration required. Visual Expression: Inward, Outward and Beyond is a class at the Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art for those ages 9-12. The class, in which

24 METRO SPIRIT 4.21.11

students will learn to express themselves visually by studying artists of different styles, meets five Saturdays beginning April 23 from 10 a.m.-noon. $64.80 for members; $72 for non-members. Preregistration required. Wilderness Survival, for ages 8-14, is at Reed Creek Park on Saturday, April 23, from 11 a.m.-noon, during which time participants will learn the do’s and don’ts for dressing for the wilderness and what to bring when camping, ways to signal for help, as well as tips on making fires and shelters in the wilderness (without matches and a tent). Free for members; $2 per child for non-members. Pre-registration required. Community Easter Egg Hunt is Saturday, April 23, at 11:30 a.m. at Perry Memorial Park in Aiken. For ages 12 and under. Call 803-642-7634 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Fairy Tale Story Time meets Monday, April 25, in the conference room at Woodworth Library on Fort Gordon. Children’s Poetry Story Time is Tuesday, April 26, at 10 a.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Teen Poetry Slam Tuesday, April 26, from 3-5 p.m. at the Wallace Branch Library. Teens Under Fire, a preventionintervention program for teens ages 12-18 that focuses on the consequences of drugs, violence and crime, is from 4-6 p.m. on Tuesday, April 26, at Aiken Regional Medical Centers. Preregistration required. Call 800-332-8322 or visit aikenregional.com.

Just Breathe Yoga Studio, Aiken 803-648-8048 justbreathestudio.com Laney-Walker Neighborhood Association 706-306-5027 Le Chat Noir 706-722-3322 lcnaugusta.com Macedonia Baptist Church 706-922-6101 kingdomconquerors.org

DIRECTORY

Augusta Rugby Football Club meets every Tuesday and Thursday at 6:30 p.m. at the Julian Smith Casino ballpark. New players are welcome.

Medical College of Georgia: mcghealth.org SafeKids East Central: 706-721-7606 Multiple Sclerosis Support: 706-721-7239 Let’s Talk: 706-721-0550 AWAKE: 706-721-0793 Breast Cancer Support: 706-721-4109 Oral Head and Neck Support: 706-721-0550 Trauma Support: 706-721-4633 or 706-721-3264 Moms Connection: 706-721-9351 Blood Cancer/Stem Cell Support: 706-721-9134 Becoming a Dentist Workshop: 706-721-8331 Volunteer Services: 706-721-3596 MedWAR 770-289-5500 medwar.org The Morris Museum of Art 706-724-7501 themorris.org NACA 706-855-7464 Nacho Mama’s Group Run 706-414-4059 jim@enduranceconcepts.com Nancy Carson Library 803-279-5767 abbe-lib.org North Augusta Arts and Heritage Center 803-441-4380 artsandheritagecenter.com Phinizy Swamp Nature Park 706-828-2109 naturalsciencesacademy.org Reed Creek Park 706-210-4027 reedcreekpark.com Richmond County Republican Party 706-738-7625

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Jazz4Kids, an introduction to jazz music and culture geared toward those ages 5-10, is a free performance, lecture and demonstration that is at 7 p.m. at the Nancy Carson Library in North Augusta on Tuesday, April 26. Nurturing Nature Walks, for those ages 3-5, is a Reed Creek Park program on Thursday, April 28, at 10 a.m. Free for members; $2 per child for nonmembers. Pre-registration is required.

The Augusta Arsenal Soccer Club Junior Academy, for boys and girls ages 5-8, meets each Thursday at 5:30 p.m. at the Augusta Soccer Park. TanglesSkirtApril2011Fianal.pdf

Toddler Time, free play for children ages 5 and under, is each Monday and Wednesday from 9:30-11:30 a.m. at the H.O. Weeks Center in Aiken. Ceramics Class, for ages 14 and up, meets Mondays at 9 a.m. or 6 p.m., Tuesdays at 6 p.m. and Wednesdays at 9 a.m. in the Weeks Ceramics Center.

Young Adult Poetry Slam is Friday, April 29, from 6:30-8:30 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library.

Storytime in the Gardens, a free program for children 8 and under, is

held Tuesdays through May at 4 p.m. in Hopelands Gardens in Aiken. Free.

Wacky Wednesday Story Time is each Wednesday at 10 a.m. in the

children’s department of Barnes and Noble in the Augusta Mall. Homeschool Playgroup meets each 1:16:05 PM Thursday at 10:30 a.m. at Creighton Park in North Augusta. Call 803-613-0484.

The Volunteen Program at MCGHealth, a six-week hands-on program for high school students ages 15-18, is now taking applications for its summer session. Application deadline is April 30.

Seniors AARP Driver Safety Program, geared towards motorists age 50 and older, is Thursday and Friday, April 21 and 22, from 9 a.m.-1 p.m. at Trinity Hospital of Augusta. $14 per person; $2 discount for AARP Members. Preregistration required. Facebook for Seniors is a computer class on Wednesday, April 27, from 10 a.m.-noon at the Headquarters Branch Library. Pre-registration and a valid PINES card required.

3/10/11

Games for Seniors at the Weeks Center in Aiken include Rummikub each

Thursday from 9 a.m.-noon, Mahjong each Thursday from 1-4 p.m., Bridge each Friday from 11:30 a.m.-3 p.m., Bingo each Tuesday at 9 a.m., Pinochle each Tuesday from 10:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m., and Canasta on Tuesdays and Fridays from 11:30 a.m.-3:30 p.m. Line Dancing is each Tuesday at the Weeks Center in Aiken at 10 a.m. Silversneakers I is offered Mondays and Wednesdays at 9 a.m. and Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays at 11:15 a.m., while Silversneakers Yogastretch is offered Mondays and Wednesdays at 11:15 a.m. at the Weeks Center in Aiken. Ceramics Class if offered at 9 a.m. on Mondays or Wednesdays and 6 p.m. on Mondays or Tuesdays at the Weeks Center.

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Fit 4 Ever is offered at the Weeks Center in Aiken on Mondays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays from 10-11 a.m. Yoga I and II is offered at the Weeks Center in Aiken on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays from 8:45-9:45 a.m. and on Mondays and Wednesdays from 5:306:30 p.m.

Hobbies Augusta Coin Club meets Thursday, April 21, at 7 p.m. at America’s Best Value Inn on Washington Road. Free.

Embroidery Guild, is Saturday April 23, from 1:30-3:30 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Augusta Genealogical Society meets every Monday, Wednesday and Saturday at 9 a.m. and Sundays from 2-5 p.m. at the society’s Adamson Library, 1109 Broad St. Free. Want to have your event listed in the Metro Spirit calendar? Call Amy Christian at 706-496-2535 or email amy@ themetrospirit.com.

Learn to Embroider, an adult craft workshop sponsored by the local

Rocky Creek Neighborhood Association 706-833-7426 Sacred Heart Cultural Center 706-826-4700 sacredheartaugusta.org Saturday Market on the River theaugustamarket.com Skip to My Lupus 803-282-9193 skiptomylupus.org Soul City Sirens soulcitysirens.com Southeastern Filmmakers henndude@yahoo.com southeasternfilmmakers.com Symphony Orchestra Augusta 706-826-4705 soaugusta.org Trinity Hospital of Augusta: trinityofaugusta.com Childbirth 101: 706-481-7727 AARP Driver Safety: 706-481-7604 United Way of the CSRA 706-724-5544 uwcsra.org

DIRECTORY

Riverview Disc Golf League 803-215-8181 augustadiscgolf.com

University Hospital: universityhealth.org Women’s Center: 706-774-2825 Breastfeeding Class: 706-721-9351 Look Good, Feel Better: 706-731-9900 Diabetes Support: 706-868-3241 Prostate Cancer Support: 706-868-8758 North Augusta Alzheimer’s Support: 803-278-5611 My Mom Has Breast Cancer: 706-774-4141 University of South Carolina-Aiken: usca.edu Etherredge Center Box Office: 803-641-3305 Convocation Center: 866-722-8877

Walton Rehabilitation Hospital: wrh.org What Is Next?: 706-826-5877 Amputee Support: 706-823-8504 Brain Injury Support: 706-533-3904 Stroke and Outpatient Support-Aiken: 803-644-6140 Stroke and Outpatient Support-Augusta: 706-823- 5250 Spinal Cord Injury Support: 706-823-8504 Undercover Artist Fundraiser: 706-826-5809 Wheelchair Tennis Clinic: 706-826-5809

26 METRO SPIRIT 4.21.11

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THE

BOX TOPS

Fans flock to “Rio” but run away from “Scream 4” at the box office for the weekend ending Sunday, April 16. RANK

TITLE

WEEKEND GROSS

TOTAL GROSS

WEEK #

LAST WEEK

RIO

$39,225,962

SCREAM 4

$19,279,000

HOP

$11,167,000

$82,609,000

SOUL SURFER

$ 7,400,000

$19,997,000

HANNA

$ 7,327,000

$23,327,000

“Scream 4” Sam Eifling

Wasn’t the third time the charm? Fourth installments generally have to overcome the innate human affinity for threes — how many trilogies feel unfinished? — but the “Scream” movies made their bloody hay (and $420 million at the box office) by reminding you constantly of their iconoclasm. Hence “Scream 4” (tagline: New decade, new rules) behaves itself as the most selfaware film even in this lineage of selfaware films, not only aware of itself as a horror film, but aware of its awareness. It is, as one of the film’s film nerds would say, quite meta. Unfortunately it’s also unaware of how dull this approach becomes. People who talk about themselves constantly are perceived as tone-deaf, and movies are no different. “Scream 4” never lets you forget that you’re watching “Scream 4,” in part because it keeps insisting on the redundancy of there even being a “Scream 4.” At the end of two hours, you’re inclined to agree. Fans of the first three will recognize the old faces who continue to survive the murder sprees that presumably keep property values depressed in otherwise

charming Woodsboro. Sidney Prescott (Neve Campbell, back for more) has emerged from her repeated brushes with serial killers to publish a memoir, and her book tour brings her through her hometown on the anniversary of the original killings (oh, not to make you feel geriatric: “Scream” came out in 1996). As bum luck has it, another copycat has decided to don the iconic Ghostface costume, make the obligatory threatening phone calls (using an app to mimic that familiar homicidal voice, reprised yet again by Roger Jackson) and butcher

all the hottest teenagers in town. Semicapable lawman Dewey Riley and hard-charging TV reporter turned author Gale Weathers are married, tensely, and played again by real-life snippy couple David Arquette and Courteney Cox, as if the story needed to feel any more self-referential. A bunch of hot twentysomethings appear as hot teenagers who one-by-one die screaming. The script even gives a few of them last names. Weathers’ books about the Woodsboro massacres launched a series of “Scream”like film adaptations, called “Stab,” now up to a seventh installment, so the townsfolk are navel-gazing horror experts by now, obsessed with the idea that the current killer is obsessed with the storyline of his own killings. Watching a film deconstruct itself almost minute-by-minute like this does, at least, become more bearable with slasher guru Wes Craven at the helm. Writer of the “Nightmare on Elm Street” franchise and director of the “Scream” litter, among others, Craven knows the tropes like no one else: cat-and-mouse games in confined spaces, the menace of closed doors that must be

opened, the primal brutality of knife murders. And gore, he adores. Craven goes easy on the blood like grandma goes easy on the gravy. Even as the characters openly discuss which among them is likely to live and die according to the patterns of movie killings (spoiler alert: they pretty much all get hacked up like paper dolls), Craven needles your autonomic system with stereotypical orchestral swells, sudden reveals and a variety pack of gotcha moments. His approach here is that of a boxer who tells you the roundhouse is coming, twirls his right hand in a circle and then wallops you across the face with it, all while softening you up with jabs he never acknowledges. It’s a clever strategy, in fact: Beckon savvy horror fans to overthink the plot, so as to lull them into ignoring the genre’s subtler gimmicks. Maybe it would even work, if we hadn’t seen this movie, more or less, three times already.

MOVIE REVIEW metrospirit.com

METRO SPIRIT 4.21.11 29

THE8ERS Going to the movies this weekend? Here’s what’s playing.

Opening Friday, April 22 Drama “Water For Elephants,” rated PG-13, starring Robert Pattinson, Reese Witherspoon. Don’t need to see it. It has Robert Pattinson in it, so we already know that he spends large portions of the movie gazing adoringly at Reese Witherspoon, who he can’t have. But, of course, he’ll get her in the end (that’s what she said).

Comedy “Madea’s Big Happy Family,” rated PG-13, starring Tyler Perry, Loretta Devine. Madea, writer-director-star Tyler Perry’s muumuu-clad doppelganger, is back to give her relatives (and movie audiences) a hard time. What about this time? Do you really need to know?

Masters 7 Cinemas georgiatheatrecompany.com April 22-23 Red Riding Hood (PG-13) 9:50 p.m.; The Adjustment Bureau (PG-13) 1:10 p.m., 4:40 p.m., 7:20 p.m., 9:45 p.m.; Hall Pass (R) 4:10 p.m., 9:25 p.m.; Big Mommas:LikeFather,LikeSon(PG13) 2 p.m., 4:50 p.m., 7:30 p.m., 9:55 p.m.; I Am Number Four (PG-13) 1:20 p.m., 4:30 p.m., 7 p.m., 9:30 p.m.; Unknown (PG-13) 1:30 p.m., 6:50 p.m.; Gnomeo and Juliet (G) 1 p.m., 3:05 p.m., 5:10 p.m., 7:40 p.m., 9:40 p.m.; Just Go With It (PG-13) 1:40 p.m., 4 p.m., 6:40 p.m., 9:35 p.m.; The King’s Speech (PG-13) 1:50 p.m., 4:20 p.m., 7:10 p.m. Evans Stadium Cinemas 14 georgiatheatrecompany.com April 22-23 Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Big Happy Family (PG-13) 2:30 p.m., 5 p.m., 7:30 p.m., 10 p.m.; Rio (G) Noon, 12:40 p.m., 2:20 p.m., 3 p.m., 4:40 p.m., 5:20 p.m., 7 p.m., 7:40 p.m., 9:20 p.m., 10 p.m.; Scream 4 (R) 1:10 p.m., 4:10 p.m., 7:10 p.m., 9:50 p.m.; Arthur (PG-13) 12:30 p.m., 6:35 p.m.; Hanna (PG-13) 1:40 p.m., 4:30 p.m., 7:05 p.m., 9:55 p.m.; Soul Surfer (PG) 1:20 p.m., 4:20 p.m., 7:15 p.m., 9:50 p.m.; Hop (PG) 12:20 p.m., 2:45 p.m., 5:10 p.m., 7:35 p.m., 9:55 p.m.; Insidious (PG-13) 1:30 p.m., 6:55 p.m.; Source Code (PG-13) 4:35 p.m., 9:35 p.m.; Limitless (PG-13) 3:30 p.m., 9:25 p.m.; The Lincoln Lawyer (R) 12:50 p.m., 3:40 p.m., 6:40 p.m., 9:30 p.m.

For my Netflix pick of the week, I decided to go back and see what my first Netflix rental was. Bam! There it is…January 8, 2004, I rented “The War Room.” I have seen it many times since, and it is still in my top 10 favorite documentaries. “The War Room” takes viewers inside Bill Clinton’s 1992 presidential campaign and the exciting, topsy-turvy race that proved to be one of the most memorable in U.S. history. — Chili Palmer White

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30 METRO SPIRIT 4.21.11

April 22 African Cats (G) 12:30 p.m., 2:50 p.m., 5:05 p.m., 7:20 p.m., 9:35 p.m., 11:50 p.m.; Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Big Happy Family (PG-13) Noon, 12:35 p.m., 1 p.m., 1:30 p.m., 2:30 p.m., 3:05 p.m., 4 p.m., 5 p.m., 5:35 p.m., 6 p.m., 7 p.m., 7:30 p.m., 8:05 p.m., 8:30 p.m., 9:30 p.m., 10 p.m., 10:35 p.m., 11 p.m., 12:05 a.m., 12:30 a.m.; Water for Elephants (PG-13) 12:15 p.m., 12:45 p.m., 4:15 p.m., 4:45 p.m., 7:10 p.m., 7:40 p.m., 9:55 p.m., 10:25 p.m., 12:40 a.m.; Atlas Shrugged: Part I (PG-13) 12:05 p.m., 2:25 p.m., 4:50 p.m., 7:55 p.m., 10:35 p.m.; The Conspirator (PG-13) 1:05 p.m., 4:35 p.m., 7:25 p.m., 10:20 p.m.; Rio (G) 12:10 p.m., 12:40 p.m., 1:10 p.m., 2:40 p.m., 3:10 p.m., 4:10 p.m., 5:10 p.m., 5:40 p.m., 7:05 p.m., 7:35 p.m., 8:10 p.m., 9:25 p.m., 10:05 p.m., 11:45 p.m., 12:15 a.m.;

Scream 4 (R) 1:35 p.m., 4:10 p.m, 4:40 p.m., 7:05 p.m., 7:40 p.m., 9:40 p.m., 10:05 p.m., 10:40 p.m., 11:15 p.m., 12:15 a.m., 12:35 a.m.; Born to Be Wild (G) 12:45 p.m., 2 p.m., 3:15 p.m., 4:30 p.m., 6 p.m.; Arthur (PG-13) 1 p.m., 7:15 p.m.; Hanna (PG-13) 1:20 p.m., 4:05 p.m., 7:50 p.m., 10:30 p.m.; Soul Surfer (PG) 12:50 p.m., 4:25 p.m., 7:25 p.m., 10:15 p.m.; Hop (PG) 12:20 p.m., 2:45 p.m., 5:15 p.m., 7:45 p.m., 10:10 p.m., 12:35 a.m.; Insidious (PG-13) 1:25 p.m., 4:40 p.m., 7:10 p.m., 9:45 p.m., 12:15 a.m.; Source Code (PG-13) 1:15 p.m., 4:20 p.m., 7:15 p.m., 9:40 p.m., midnight April 23 The Metropolitan Opera: Capriccio (NR) 1 p.m. African Cats (G) 12:30 p.m., 2:50 p.m., 5:05 p.m., 7:20 p.m., 9:35 p.m., 11:50 p.m.; Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Big Happy Family (PG-13) Noon, 12:35, 1 p.m., 1:30 p.m., 2:30 p.m., 3:05 p.m., 4 p.m., 5 p.m., 5:35 p.m., 6 p.m., 7 p.m., 7:30 p.m., 8:05 p.m., 8:30 p.m., 9:30 p.m., 10 p.m., 10:35 p.m., 11 p.m., 12:05 a.m., 12:30 a.m.; Water for Elephants (PG-13) 12:15 p.m., 12:45 p.m., 4:15 p.m., 4:45 p.m., 7:10 p.m., 7:40 p.m., 9:55 p.m., 10:25 p.m., 12:40 a.m.; Atlas Shrugged: Part I (PG-13) 12:05 p.m., 2:25 p.m., 4:50 p.m., 7:55 p.m., 10:35 p.m.; The Conspirator (PG-13) 1:05 p.m., 4:35 p.m., 7:25 p.m., 10:20 p.m.; Rio (G) 12:10 p.m., 12:40 p.m., 1:10 p.m., 2:40 p.m., 3:10 p.m., 4:10 p.m., 5:10 p.m., 5:40 p.m., 7:05 p.m., 7:35 p.m., 8:10 p.m., 9:25 p.m., 10:05 p.m., 11:45 p.m., 12:15 a.m.; Scream 4 (R) 1:35 p.m., 4:10 p.m, 7:05 p.m., 7:40 p.m., 9:40 p.m., 10:05 p.m., 10:40 p.m., 11:15 p.m., 12:15 a.m., 12:35 a.m.; Born to Be Wild (G) 12:45 p.m., 2 p.m., 3:15 p.m., 4:30 p.m., 6 p.m.; Arthur (PG-13) 7:15 p.m.; Hanna (PG-13) 1:20 p.m., 4:05 p.m., 7:50 p.m., 10:30 p.m.; Soul Surfer (PG) 12:50 p.m., 4:25 p.m., 7:25 p.m., 10:15 p.m.; Hop (PG) 12:20 p.m., 2:45 p.m., 5:15 p.m., 7:45 p.m., 10:10 p.m., 12:35 a.m.; Insidious (PG-13) 1:25 p.m., 4:40 p.m., 7:10 p.m., 9:45 p.m., 12:15 a.m.; Source Code (PG-13) 1:15 p.m., 4:20 p.m., 7:15 p.m., 9:40 p.m., midnight The Big Mo thebigmo.com April 22-23 Main Field: Rio (G) and Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules (PG); Screen 2: Scream 4 (R) and Insidious (PG-13). Gates open at 7 p.m.; shows begin at 8:30 p.m. (approximately)

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AUGUSTA’S TICKET COME OUT TO PLAY

CHECK OUT THE EVENTS

Kevin Hart Laugh at My Pain Tour May 14

Grease April 16

Sugarland Incredible Machine Tour June 23 Keith Urban Get Closer 2011 World Tour AUGUST 13

The Color Purple MAY 8 Jagermeister Country Tour featuring Dierks Bentley May 11 Loretta Lynn June 18 Sesame Street 1,2,3 Imagine with Elmo June 18

Purchase Tickets for the Augusta Entertainment Complex by phone at 1.877.4AUGTIX, Online at www.georgialinatix.com or at metrospirit.com SPIRIT 4.21.11 31 the Champion’s Box Office at the James Brown METRO Arena.

Amy Christian

ART

The hairstyles may be big, but the subject matter is not all fluf f in “Hairspray” If you ask Claudia Ballas Latch which celebrity people say she most resembles, she wouldn’t have to pause and think. Rather, she would immediately blurt out the name of the woman who originated the role Latch will portray in an upcoming Augusta Players production. “I swear since I was a teenager, people tell me I look like Ricki Lake and I think it’s because of the ‘Hairspray’ role,” Latch says, and then laughs. “I don’t think I do. I think it’s just the dark hair and because I’m fat.” Latch plays Tracy Turnblad in the upcoming production of “Hairspray,” a teenager in Baltimore of 1962 who, more than anything, wants to be famous. She sees The Corny Collins Dance Show as the onramp on her road to fame and auditions over her mother’s objections. Edna Turnblad, a role traditionally played by a man (with this production being no exception), is afraid her daughter will be ridiculed because of her “pleasingly plump” size. Latch, however, believes Tracy’s appearance is one of the reasons audiences have such a connection with the musical, which is based on the 1988 John Waters film in which Lake starred. “Typically, the leading, ingenue roles on Broadway always go to tall, skinny women,” Latch explains. “But this is a good, meaty role in which the lead character has to be a little bit bigger, so that’s nice.” Latch’s mother, Director Debi Ballas, agrees that Tracy is one of the main reasons for the success of the musical, which opened on Broadway in 2002, won eight Tony Awards and racked up more than 2,500 performances before closing in 2009. “You just fall in love with her,” Ballas said. Ballas went on to say that while Tracy is a big part of “Hairspray”’s appeal, she’s not the only reason audiences love the musical. “Well, first of all, it’s music of the ’60s and it rouses warm feelings of nostalgia for most of the baby boomers. That right there is a huge reason for the appeal,” she said. “It’s also a very high-energy

32 METRO SPIRIT 4.21.11

show, from the time the curtain goes up till it goes down at the end of Act II. You know, there are a lot of shows that have music, dancing and acting, but I personally have never, since I’ve been executive director of Augusta Players, seen a show that incorporates as much choreography as this show.” The fun nature of the production, she says, stands in stark contrast to its serious subject matter. But Ballas says the way that subject matter is handled is another reason why audiences love “Hairspray” so much. “It deals with prejudice and bigotry... in all its forms. When we think about prejudice, we usually think about race, but it also deals with bigotry against Tracy because she didn’t fit into that ideal model and she was shunned. She was an outcast,” Ballas explained. “She winds up not only fighting for herself, but risking everything to take up her friends’ cause. She befriends the African-American students and takes up their cause and fights for them. But again, it is all done in a very light and humorous way.” For all these reasons, Ballas said she knew that “Hairspray” would be a hit here in Augusta, but there’s a reason they haven’t performed it before now. “We’ve been thinking about ‘Hairspray’ for a long time,” she said. “However, it wasn’t available.” Ballas went on to say that community theater troupes must get permission from a licensing agency and pay royalties to perform shows. And while that’s easy to do for some shows, many of the current and recent Broadway productions aren’t made available. So when one of the licensing agencies provided community theaters a waiting list, Ballas signed up for “Hairspray.” And then she waited. “We applied a long time ago and then, last spring, we had already planned our season and ‘Hairspray’ wasn’t part of it because we didn’t think it was available,” she said. “Then, one day, I got an email saying it was available. I want to say three minutes later we had permission to do it and we were very excited.”

A completely new production, however, means an expensive production, since the Players couldn’t rely on what they already had in their 7,500-square-foot storage warehouse. Sets had to be built, costumes had to be made and she said the wig budget alone was a bank breaker. “Any time you’re dealing with a particular period, they have to be correct for that time frame. The hair especially,”

“Two very cool people, Christopher Walken and Jerry Stiller, have played the role, and I admire both of them so it’s very cool to be able to do the role,” he said. As one of the older cast members, Justice remembers the 1988 film well and is amused by the fact that many of the younger cast members don’t get the musical’s references. “And that’s good,” he explained. “It’s good that they don’t remember that

54 she said. “At the end of the show there are all these elaborate hairstyles. These giant beehives.” Fortunately for the Players, the cast is filled with multi-talented people like Katie Reagan, who is designing the wigs, and Richard Justice, who helped costume mistress Ellen Parker make some of the clothing. Justice plays Wilbur Turnblad, Tracy’s free-spirited father and husband to Edna, played by John Hutchins in a role that he says walks a fine line between serious acting and camp. “It’s just a fun role. Historically it’s always been played by a guy,” he said. “She’s strong but she’s weak at the same time.” Hutchins describes Edna as his dream role, but Justice is more excited about the company he’ll be joining when he takes his turn with Wilbur.

black and white people couldn’t dance together, but it’s also good to delve into it because it’s recent U.S. history. When you delve into this piece, there are very serious undertones. It’s not all fluff.” Besides the hair, that is. “Hairspray” Imperial Theatre Friday-Saturday, April 29-30, 8 p.m. Sunday, May 1, 3 p.m. $15-$41 706-826-4707 augustaplayers.org

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JENNY is WRIGHT Adventures of a carpool snoop Here in Augusta, carpool at my kids’ school is an adventure. Some people get there very early, an hour before school lets out, just so they can be the first in line. Others come screeching up at 3:30, their child still standing on the sidewalk wondering every single day if Mom forgot them. I fall somewhere in the middle. I don’t want to waste an hour of my time sitting in the line, but I do like getting out of there and home at a reasonable time. In the time that I spend sitting and waiting, people watching is at its best. There are the cheaters. Cheaters cut through the line instead of waiting like the rest of us. Cheaters also sit in the lower lot and walk to get their kids in order to avoid the line. I’m not sure how I get some sort of status in life that makes my time more valuable than others’, but sign me up. I’d like to thank the person who put nails in the cheater cut-thru, because watching said cheater get a flat tire was supremely satisfying. Most of the time, people wait with their windows down. For a super nosy person like me, this is awesome. I’ll admit to getting out to “check something on my car” so I can walk around and hear better. Once, a lady was raising all sorts of hell about her child getting in trouble for cursing at school. She didn’t like the way it was handled. All the while, as she’s telling the story, it’s pretty obvious that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. She is angry. She causes such a stir that people are visibly uncomfortable and a teacher finally comes over and asks her to keep it down. You can imagine how much she liked that. A dispute ensued just as the students were approaching the cars. As her child got in the car she perked up, saying “Hey Sexy!” Sexy? Not only is he 10 but he is your son. I wonder where he learned the bad behavior? When the windows are rolled up, it’s like people think they can’t be seen. They metrospirit.com

are glass, people, not wood. People pick their noses all the time and there’s one lady who flosses her teeth and plucks her mustache hair each day. One day, it was particularly quiet and I was craning my neck, looking for some entertainment. A lady a couple of cars over was seemingly picking her teeth but with some flair that caught my eye. With further investigation (what is wrong with that back tire? I should get out and check.), she was actually removing her teeth, over and over, in and out. All of her teeth. I used to read books while sitting in line but have learned that it’s much more interesting to talk with friends and people watch, enjoying the peace before The Boy and The Girl get in the car. If I didn’t, I’d miss the lady who told her young toddler to “get his butt back in the bed” or the cheaters being lectured by the principal for cutting in line. Most of the people in line are perfectly reasonable but, every once in a while, this nosy girl gets lucky. Jenny Wright lives in Summerville with her husband, who she calls The Man, and two kids, who she affectionately calls The Boy and The Girl. She enjoys taking photos, cooking, playing tennis... and pretending to fix her car while in the carpool line.

METRO SPIRIT 4.21.11 33

sightings Michael Johnson

mejphoto.photoreflect.com

Martha Davenport, Sybil Surrett and Amy Dorrill at French Market Grille.

Cedric AshleeSmith, Palmer Donna , Emmie Briscoe, Ward and Angela Cindy Jones Bachelder and Randy at the Hunter Undercover at the Artists Par 3 Party Show at Walton the Rehabilitation Augusta Common Hospital.

John and Sharon Lee with Indee Few at the Undercover Artists Show at Walton Rehabilitation Hospital.

Charles Vieira, Alison Ashcraft, Sarah Craig and Traye Ivey at Stillwater Tap Room.

Jessica Mullan, Josh Pierce and Kristin Grams at the Metro Cof feehouse.

Liz, Matt and Terri Flynn at Lake Olmsted Stadium. Marc Lemere, Funda Talaz and Matt Fiore at Soul Bar.

Cedric Matt Moore, Smith, Donna Kareigh Briscoe, King, Brittany AngelaJames Jones and and Randy Thomas Hunter at Choi theat Par Vue. 3 Party at the Augusta Common

Travis Atkins, Daniela Hazelwood, Halie Walden and Will Sandifer at Lake Olmsted Stadium.

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“Why don’t you take a picture of a proud vet?”

The Sports Center circa 2001

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METRO SPIRIT 4.21.11 35

CRISP

Todd Schafer

GARDENING IS MORE THAN JUST GROWING VEGGIES It was July 2002 and Bill Jones’ carport was once again filled with bounty from his massive garden. The tomatoes had just been picked that afternoon. He grew many different summer veggies but the tomatoes, with names like Jaune Flame, Abe Lincoln and Riesentraube, made him famous. Business was always brisk, and Bill was usually in the carport in the late afternoon, after a long day of tending, watering and weeding, talking to friends and customers alike that came for his wonderful tomatoes. When he wasn’t there, his stand was on the honor system. There was an ancient hanging scale, and a plastic box for a cash register. When I saw that, I couldn’t get over it. Who does that, I thought. After getting to know him, it made sense. He loved what he was doing. The money was just a bonus. That first summer, I bought over 500 pounds of tomatoes to use at the restaurant, and we peeled every one of them. His house was only about a mile from the Bistro, and I spent many an afternoon in the garden, thinking up specials for dinner service that night as I picked. We transformed baby yellow flame tomatoes, cream and extra virgin olive oil into the most wonderful cold soup. We made a salad with three or four different types of baby tomatoes with white truffle oil vinaigrette and baby herbs. We peeled baby tomatoes and dried them on the rooftop, turning them into sundried tomatoes as sweet as candy. What made these dishes great wasn’t as much as how we prepared them, but rather the incredible flavor of the tomatoes he grew. It was Bill Jones who inspired me to grow my own produce, and to seek out the best local ingredients available. My love of gardening is, in part, because of him. When Bill died, his family kept up the garden for a couple of years until the Augusta National bought his house and so many others around it and turned it into a giant parking lot. Not having any more of Jones’ tomatoes spurred me to put in my own garden for the restaurant.

36 METRO SPIRIT 4.21.11

Bill’s grandson, David, helped me with the tiller, the tractor and all the logistics of building a large garden. That summer I spent an obscene amount of money on dirt, irrigation and 12 new toilets for The Vue (but that is another story). What I learned from that experience is, one, use a licensed plumber instead of a buddy who says he knows about sprinklers, and, two, there is no substitute for locally grown produce. What I learned from Jones is that, for him, it was more than just growing vegetables. It was about family, community and fellowship with his neighbors. While working in my own garden, my thoughts sometimes turn those great days of summer and the garden on Heath and Wicklow, and I know he was right.

Todd Schafer is the former executive chef and continues to be part owner of Bistro 491 in Surrey Center. He and his family currently live in North Carolina but plan to return to the CSRA in the near future.

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13 locations, locally owned and operated

RECOMMEND BEE’S KNEES SANGRIA Originated in Spain, sangria is the perfect summer party drink and The Bee’s Knees downtown knows how to make it happen, Created from red wine, fruit juices, fruit, brandy and a few other ingredients, their chilled drink is so good it’ll make you change your dinner plans. Made from scratch and allowed to sit overnight to let the fruit juices blend, Bee’s Knee’s serves a mean red. Don’t be cheap. You might as well order the carafe. Second option? Macaroni Grill’s sangria

Some places just change your oil..... ...SLACKERS.

You Deserve a Professional

ain’t half bad.

WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER

All Georgia Licensed Massage Therapists

We’re looking for the best fried chicken leg in town. As with all media contests seeking the “best” of anything, this truth seeking will be totally unbiased and based on honest, fair and reasonable voting. As with payola in the radio business, we are governed by the WWCD Association. Transparency is not only ingrained in our process, it is required for us to keep our accreditation. Got the best legs in town? What you’re gonna need to do is contact us, and we’ll coordinate a day for you to feed our staf f with your delicious fried chicken, cole slaw, rolls and sweet tea. It’s all in the name of fair and

Georgia Therapeutic Massage, LLC 106 Davis Road • Suite D • Martinez www.gatherapeuticmassage.com

balanced reporting. (amy@themetrospirit.com) Since it is damn near impossible to f-up a fried chicken, chances are you’ll be voted “best” of the week. In other news, our staf f will soon be running a contest for the best day-long spa experience in town. And margaritas. The best margaritas in town, too.

706.651.0202

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METRO SPIRIT 4.21.11 37

Box.... our faithful Box of many years at the Partridge Inn… was recently disrespected with a cheap black paint job and then stuffed...and we mean stuffed good, with Augusta Chronicles. (gabe, I’m sending the pictures of box in the lobby of the partridge inn to you from my phone camera) Who’s responsible? We don’t know and don’t care. The news came out March 2nd that the Spirit was history. Apparently Box was abducted soon thereafter. But he wasn’t the only one. He’s been rescued and is safely back at the office with us. The first few days were touch and go, but as of press time Box is progressing nicely. We’re hoping to try and help restore his dignity with a proper yellow paintjob soon. How long before he is back on the streets? That’s the million dollar question. The short answer? When he’s ready. In the meantime he’s been working the phones, trying to drum up sales for the new Metro Spirit (joe@themetrospirit.com) In the meantime, we’re offering a $25 reward for all Metro boxes returned to us. No questions asked. You can bring them to us at 3124B Washington Road (the yellow building across from Applebee’s on Washington Road) or call 706.496.2535.

38 METRO SPIRIT 4.21.11

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ALL PRO

By Paula Gamache / Edited by Will Shortz

ACROSS 1 Reduces to pulp 7 Betray, in a way 15 They’re unoriginal 20 Haitian ___ 21 Haiti’s first democratically elected president 22 Iconoclast 23 Skip Thanksgiving leftovers? 25 Early spring bloomers 26 Operagoer’s accessory 27 Broke bread 28 Longfellow’s words before “O Ship of State!” 29 Singer Sumac 30 Say “No,” “Never” and “Uh-uh”? 34 Mrs. Robert ___ (Mary Custis) 36 Make a big stink 37 Chacon of the 1960s Mets 38 Put up with 41 One may be original 43 Hopelessly lost 47 Plea for immediate absolution? 52 Abbr. on a cover letter 53 Wind in front of a stage 54 Kin of fairies 55 Not 56 Crested ___, Colo. 58 Chairlift alternative 60 Shake 62 Blot with a paper towel, maybe 63 Like food that’s acceptable to cattle? 67 Inuit relatives 69 Checked, say 70 Italian sportswear name 73 They come with turndown service 74 Soviet ___ 75 Burial site of early Scottish kings 77 Rents 78 Pipe material, for short 79 Memorable theatrical performance? 83 Shell, e.g. 86 Warning from a driver 87 Extremely, in 1970s slang 88 Joyce’s land 89 Bottom-line bigwigs, in brief 91 Head-turning sound 93 Abstain happily?

99 Fairy 102 Steven who co-wrote “Freakonomics” 103 New Guinea port 104 Life-threatening 107 Blow away 108 Is well-endowed? 111 One giving an order 112 Declared 113 Dammed river in North Carolina 114 Maurice of Nixon’s cabinet 115 Region conquered by Philip II of Macedon 116 Mounts DOWN 1 “Back to the Future” family name 2 “Get ___!” 3 California missions founder Junípero ___ 4 Scottish poet James known as “The Ettrick Shepherd” 5 Southern university that shares its name with a biblical judge 6 Form a splinter group 7 Sled dog with a statue in New York’s Central Park 8 Elizabeth in the cosmetics department 9 Abbr. following op. and loc. 10 The Wildcats of the Big 12 Conf. 11 Attack from the air 12 2010 chart-topper for Ke$ha 13 Like ___ in the headlights 14 Old Ottoman governor 15 Rural setting, in poetry 16 Green gemstone 17 Place in a Carlo Levi memoir 18 Scout’s mission 19 David’s weapon 24 Western tribe 28 Preposterous 31 Once, a long time ago 32 “Family Guy” creator MacFarlane 33 Ignore, imperatively 34 Barely beat 35 Oahu offering 38 In ___ (confused) 39 Mr. Burns’s teddy bear on “The Simpsons” 40 Typical cemetery enclosure

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Driver’s target Balloonhead Seller of space or time, for short Showy craft? ___’acte ___-deucy Tennis’s 1977 U.S. Open champ Salon, e.g., informally Accustom ___-masochism False deity Baloney and then some Dinner scraps Memorable time Vintage platters Kebab go-with Bravura Cry to a mate City east of the Sierra Nevada Concert stack Unexploded Made haste “___ dignus” (Latin motto) Sans pizazz Chapel line Giant of old Gist Basic first step Mateus ___

82 Chant syllables 84 Bear vis-à-vis the woods, e.g. 85 Fails miserably 89 Like a hair shirt 90 Bordeaux brothers 91 La Môme ___ (The Little Sparrow) 92 Sharpening devices 93 Sword lilies, for short 94 Send, as a check 95 Trump who wrote “The Best Is Yet to Come” 96 Instant 97 Lensman Adams 98 Good to go 99 Dexterity exercise 100 Like an Interstate 101 Jumps bail, say 105 Say “What to do? What to do?,” e.g. 106 To ___ (precisely) 108 Siamese, e.g. 109 Filing org. 110 H

ughgusta

FAILS

thank you

••••• ••••• ••••• ••••• •••••

41 42 43 44 45 46 48 49 50 51 56 57 59 60 61 62 64 65 66 67 68 71 72 74 75 76 79 80 81

METRO SPIRIT 4.21.11 39

free will Rob Brezsny

a s t r o l o g y freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

In his book on intuition, psychologist David G. Myers defines it as “the capacity for direct knowledge and immediate insight, without any observation or reason.” Malcolm Gladwell describes intuition as the “power of thinking without thinking.” Both encourage us to cultivate this undersung way of grasping our raw experience. But Myers also warns us of the perils of intuition if it’s untempered by logic and analysis. The coming weeks will be an excellent time for you to hone and purify your intuition.

your thoughts of expectations. Perceive what’s actually there, not what you want or don’t want to be there. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

The air indoors gets stale; you need to flush it out and welcome in some fresh stuff. So please consider opening all the windows for a while and inviting the breezes to blow through. In addition to its practical value for your respiratory system, it could serve as a ritual that gently blows the dusty crud out of your mind, improving the circulation in your thoughts and emotions and fantasies.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

Eighteen days of street protests created a huge mess in Egypt. When Hosni Mubarak finally resigned and reforms began, thousands of demonstrators returned to set the place back in order. I urge you to agitate for change; rebel against the stale status quo; and once your work has led to at least a partial success, clean up after yourself.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

CANCER (June 21-July 22)

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

What do you like most about work? I think it’s important for you to identify those hard-earned joys and then brainstorm about what you can do to expand and intensify them. You can make a lot of headway toward transforming your job situation so it serves you better.

“Sometimes nature seems more beautiful than strictly necessary,” said physicist Steven Weinberg as he admired a hackberry tree stoked with birds. From what I can tell, life is primed to flood you with simple glories and exotic revelations, with signs of eternal splendor and hints of sublime meaning.

The next phase of your life will be an excellent time to unbreak your heart. You will have extra power to dissolve any pain that still lingers from the romantic disappointments of the past. So get out there and launch the joyful process of restoring your love muscles to their original potency.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

I have officiated at numerous ceremonies, but I’ve rarely seen a better time for you to seek a cathartic rite of passage. Are you ready to break a taboo or smash an addiction? Renounce a delusion, pledge your devotion or leap to the next level?

The Answers May Be Up Here, But You Can Also Find Them In Here…

Brezsny’s Free Will

Astr ology

Take a Moment for Yourself

A massage boutique for women only.

“Search For Self Called Off After 38 Years,” read the headline in “The Onion.” Many of my Aquarian acquaintances seem to have hit a dead end recently in their quest to fulfill the ancient maxim “Know thyself.” If you’re like that, please hang on. The floodgates of self-discovery will open soon.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

The Zombie Apocalypse Preparedness Kit’s presence in your life might encourage you to make fun of your fears. And that would be a perfect way to cooperate with the current cosmic tendencies, which are conspiring to diminish the inhibitions that your anxieties hold in place. Humor dissipates worry.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

Odds are high that you know very little about Africa. I bring this up because it’s an excellent time to fill the gaps in your education about Africa — or any other subject about which you are deeply uninformed. Choose three areas of ignorance that you will concentrate on in the coming weeks.

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LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

An explorer who visited the Maori of New Zealand found they had such good eyesight that many were able to detect Jupiter’s four largest moons with their naked eyes. You have the potential to see further and deeper into any part of reality you choose to focus on. Inner truths that have been hidden from you are ready to be plucked. Cleanse

40 METRO SPIRIT 4.21.11

ARIES (March 21-April 19)

Now comes one of the supreme tests that most every Aries must periodically face: Will you live up to your promises? You can’t just try to force yourself to “be good” and do the right thing. You’ve got to fall in love with the task of actually fleshing out your dreams.

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706.364.7347 metrospirit.com

earDRUM The Boys are Back in Town

Dead Confederate moved to Atlanta several years ago in search of the rock ‘n’ roll dream, and by now everybody knows they actually found it after settling down in Athens. But they’re still my homeboys from Augusta who simply had to get out of town to be heard. Their debut album, “Wrecking Ball,” was the perfect blend of ?90s grunge meets ?70s psychedelic rock. Their latest

metrospirit.com

offering, “Sugar,” pays more respect to the sounds of classic ?90s “alternative” rock and even features back-up vocals and a ripping guitar solo by J Mascis of the legendary Dinosaur Jr. on the track “Giving It All Away.” While their growing popularity means they are on the road touring relentlessly (they just got back from Europe), they’ve always made it a point to play

at home regularly, as is the case this weekend, when they return to Sky City on Saturday, April 23, with special guests Colour Revolt and Twin Tigers. Music starts at 10 p.m. and tickets are $10 for the show. For more information, check out skycityaugusta.com. Special shout out to Hardy Morris (vocals and guitar) for his recent nuptials to Erin Dunn and also to Jason Scarboro

(drums) and his fiancé Katie Cartledge for their new bundle of joy, Carson Ivey. Here’s hoping he can change diapers as well as he plays drums. Congratulations! For more information, visit deadconfederate.com. See ya downtown, Coco

METRO SPIRIT 4.21.11 41

HAPPY HOUR DAILY: 4-9P.M. Get Ready, Horsepower Fans Fans of dormant Augusta band Horsepower will be excited to hear that frontman Grady Nickel has just released a full-length recording called “July” available for download on iTunes. Nickel went into a Nashville studio in July of 2010 with brother David (the bassist for Bloodkin) and drummer (and Bloodkin alum) Bentley Rhodes, along with a few utility musicians to complete the project. Don’t expect an Americana recording with a rock ‘n’ roll heart from this effort. It’s arguably almost as country as cornbread. Watch this space for a bit of a mini review as I get time to absorb and process the material. Also, be on the lookout for live performances by Nickel in the not too distant future. In other news, I had the opportunity this past weekend to spend several days with Shawn Mullins’ current tour manager and guitarist Patrick Blanchard in St. George Island, Fla., at a great charity music festival called Rock by

the Sea. Perhaps the highlight of the weekend was a song swap between Mullins (along with Blanchard and percussionist Chardy McEwan) and celebrated songwriter Chuck Cannon on the final night of the event. The two accomplished songwriters simply electrified a delighted audience with what seemed like the same amount of effort they’d expend buying a loaf of bread at the Kroger. Next week look for a quick run down on the new recorded project by My Instant Lunch. In the meantime, be sure to check out the regional music podcast I host with John “Stoney” Cannon nearly every week at confederationofloudness. com. See y’all at the rock show! Brian Allen

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Take I-20 towards Atlanta Exit on Moreland Avenue Turn right and follow Moreland Avenue to North Avenue. (you’ll be going through Little Five Points, so don’t run over the hippies) Turn left on North Avenue Turn right on Peachtree Street The Fox is a block down on the left Don’t be cheap. Drop $20 and park right next door. Grab a cocktail at one of the restaurant/bars next door and relax...you made it in around two hours!

42 METRO SPIRIT 4.21.11

metrospirit.com

Get Outta Town! Atlanta’s Historic Fox Theatre. Think it’s too far? We’ve also included directions that will get you from your door to the Fox in two hours flat.

THE

Charlie Sheen Live: TONIGHT! My Violent Torpedo of Truth April 21 Yanni Aprzzzzzzzzzz Shrek the Musical April 25-May 1 Kylie Minogue May 6 Omar Faruk Tekbilek May 9 Bruno Mars and Janelle Monae May 10 Hair May 17-22 Mumford and Sons June 12 The Color Purple June 17-19 David Gray June 28 Florence and the Marchine July 1 Alison Krauss and Union Station August 13

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SL B

Thursday April 21 Cadillac’s Karaoke Casa Blanca Art.Of.Jazz Club Argos Karaoke Club Rehab Candy Stripers Cabaret Club Sparx Playlist with Shannon Cocktails Lounge Karaoke Country Club Slippery When Wet (Bon Jovi Tribute) Fishbowl Lounge Karaoke Fox’s Lair Soup, Suds & Conversations French Market Grille West Doc Easton Smooth Jazz Helga’s Pub & Grille Trivia HD Lounge Karaoke Islands Bar & Lounge DJ Fred Nice The Loft Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) Karaoke Mi Rancho (Evans) Karaoke One Hundred Laurens Mike Frost Jazz Trio Pizza Joint, Evans DJ Kris Fisher The Playground Open Mic with Brandy Rose Hill Stables Preston & Weston Shannon’s Karaoke Sky City Downtown Brown, Sick Sick Sick, Zebo Soul Bar Smokey James DJ Collective Villa Europa Karaoke with Just Ben Wheeler Tavern Karaoke Wild Wing Deepstep The Willcox Four Cats in the Doghouse Wooden Barrel ’80s Night Karaoke Friday April 22 Cadillac’s DJ Doug Casa Blanca Art.Of.Jazz Club Argos Variety Show Club Rehab DJ C4 Club Sparx DJ Rana and Music Explosion Cocktails Lounge Grown-Up Fridays with DJ Cork and Bull Pub Karaoke with Libby D. and Palmetto Entertainment The Cotton Patch Chad Nichols Country Club Jared Ashley Band Coyote’s Bucky Covington, Corbette Jackson, Lost Trailers Doubletree Hotel 3 Sides of Jazz Fishbowl Lounge Karaoke Fox’s Lair Daddy Grace French Market Grille West Doc Easton and Karen Gordon Iron Horse Bar & Grill Karaoke Islands Bar & Lounge Caribbean Night with DJ Spud Mi Rancho (Downtown) Karaoke with Ryan Moseley Mi Rancho (Washington Road) Karaoke with Jeff Barnes Mi Rancho (Clearwater) Three J’s Karaoke Ms. Carolyn’s Karaoke One Hundred Laurens John Kolbeck Palmetto Tavern DJ Tim The Place on Broad Rock DJ The Playground Sibling String Rebeck’s Hideaway Open Mic Roadrunner Cafe Karaoke with Steve Chappel Sector 7G The Air I Breathe, Ten After Two, Scarlett O’Harra, The Plot in You, Lions! Tigers! Bears! Shannon’s Preston & Weston Sky City ’90s Night Soul Bar ’90s Night Stillwater Tap Room Delta Swagger Surrey Tavern The Unmentionables Tropicabana Latin Friday Wild Wing Jay Edwards Band metrospirit.com

The Willcox Kenny George Wooden Barrel Karaoke Contest Saturday April 23 The Acoustic Coffeehouse Open Acoustic Jam Session with Eryn Eubanks and the Family Fold Blue Horse Bistro Live Music Cadillac’s DJ Doug Casa Blanca Art.Of.Jazz Club Argos Variety Show Club Rehab DJ C4 Club Sparx DJ Wreboot House Party Cocktails Lounge Latin Night The Cotton Patch Patio Party Country Club Brandi Thornton Fishbowl Lounge Karaoke Helga’s Pub & Grille Trivia Islands Bar & Lounge Reggae Night with Island Vybez The Loft Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) Karaoke with Rockin Rob Mi Rancho (Clearwater) Karaoke with Danny Haywood Mi Rancho (Washington Road) Karaoke Ms. Carolyn’s Karaoke One Hundred Laurens DJ Kenny Ray P.I. Bar and Grill Live Music The Playground Doc Crosshair Sector 7G My Aim Is True, Feels Like Love, The Marie, My Latest Fashion Sky City Dead Confederate, Colour Revolt, Twin Tigers Surrey Tavern The Unmentionables Tribeca Anderson-Cruz-Shaw Tropicabana Salsa Saturday Wild Wing Honey James Band Wooden Barrel Kamikaze Karaoke Sunday April 24 Caribbean Soul Love Jones Sundays Casa Blanca Art.Of.Jazz Crums on Central Jim Perkins Malibu Jack’s Karaoke with Peggy Mi Rancho (Downtown) Karaoke Mi Rancho (Washington Road) Karaoke, Salsa Dancing P.I. Bar and Grill Live Music Wild Wing Brad Vroon Monday April 25 Applebee’s (Evans) Trivia Casa Blanca Art.Of.Jazz Club Argos Karaoke Club Rehab Jenn’s Crazy Karaoke HD Lounge Game Night Malibu Jack’s Team Trivia with Mike Thomas Mi Rancho (Downtown) Karaoke with Danny Haywood Somewhere In Augusta Karaoke with Charles Soul Bar Metal Monday Wild Wing Trivia and ’80s Karaoke Tuesday April 26 Casa Blanca Art.Of.Jazz Club Argos Karaoke Club Rehab Jenn’s Crazy Karaoke Club Sparx Karaoke with Big Tony METRO SPIRIT 4.21.11 45

Wednesday April 27 209 on the River Smooth Grooves Cadillac’s Live Band Casa Blanca Art.Of.Jazz Club Argos Santoni’s Satin Dolls Club Rehab Jenn’s Crazy Karaoke Club Sparx Trivia Cocktails Lounge Augusta’s Got Talent The Cotton Patch Trivia and Tunes with Cliff Bennett HD Lounge Open Mic Joe’s Underground Sibling String Laura’s Backyard Tavern Karaoke The Loft Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) Karaoke Mi Rancho (Washington Road) Karaoke with Rockin’ Rob The Place on Broad Jazz DJ The Playground Krazy Karaoke with Big Troy Polo Tavern Karaoke with Tom Mitchell Somewhere In Augusta The Comedy Zone Wheeler Tavern Trivia Wild Wing Lo-Fidelity The Willcox Hal Shreck Upcoming Suex Effect 1102 Bar & Grill April 29 Joe Stevenson Country Club April 29 Woody Pines Stillwater Tap Room April 29 Ross Coppley Band Country Club April 30 False Flag, Rumor Has Wings The Playground April 30 Social Canvas w/ The Favors, Jerusalem Brass Sounds, DJ Joycette, K Flossy Sky City May 1 Electric Voodoo The Playground May 6 Mazes & Monsters Sky City May 7 The Good End The Playground May 7 Those Darlins, Shaun Piazza Band Sky City May 10 Dierks Bentley, Josh Thompson, Miss Willie Brown Bell Auditorium May 11 Hot Seats Stillwater Tap Room May 13 Records Records, Eskimojitos, The Favors, Cocoa Dylan Sky City May 13 John Berret and the Laroxes The Playground May 13 My Instant Lunch Sky City May 14 Faster Pussycat, Dizzy Reed, Venrez, G City Rockers Sky City May 19 Big Daddy Love Stillwater Tap Room May 20 Zach Deputy, Funk You Sky City May 20 New Familiars Stillwater Tap Room May 27 Minus the Bear, Skysaw, The Constellations Sky City May 30 Welfare Liners Stillwater Tap Room June 10 Josh Roberts and the Hinges Stillwater Tap Room June 17 Papa String Band Stillwater Tap Room July 8 Blair Crimmons and the Hookers Stillwater Tap Room July 15 Dave Desmelik Band Stillwater Tap Room July 22 Keith Urban James Brown Arena August 13 Elsewhere Lucinda Williams Cobb Energy Performing Arts Center, Atlanta April 29 Usher, Akon Colonial Life Arena, Columbia May 1 The Decemberists Cobb Energy Performing Arts Center, Atlanta May 2 Fleet Foxes The Tabernacle, Atlanta May 14

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CLUB LISTINGS

Cocktails Lounge Live Music Fishbowl Lounge Dart League Fox’s Lair John Fisher HD Lounge Trivia Islands Bar & Lounge DJ Fred Nice Sector 7G Carridale, Latin for Truth Wild Wing Mario Diaz The Willcox Hal Shreck

209 on the River Applebee’s applebees.com Club Argos myspace.com/clubargos Club Rehab Cotton Patch eatdrinkbehappy.com Country Club augustacountry.com Crums on Central crumsoncentral.com Doubletree Hotel doubletree.hilton.com Fox’s Lair thefoxslair.com French Market Grille West frenchmarketwest. com Helga’s Pub & Grille Joe’s Underground Malibu Jack’s malibujacks.com Maxwell Performing Arts Theater aug.edu/pat/ One Hundred Laurens hotelaiken.com/100laurens.html Pizza Joint thepizzajoint.net The Place on Broad theplaceonbroad.com The Playground myspace.com/theplaygroundbar Rose Hill Stables rosehillestate.com Sector 7G sector7gaugusta.com Shannon’s shannonsfoodandspirits.com

Sky City skycityaugusta.com Somewhere In Augusta somewhereinaugusta.com Soul Bar soulbar.com Sparx Stillwater Tap Room myspace.com/ stillwatertaproom Surrey Tavern Travinia traviniaitaliankitchen.com/travinia-aikensc.php Westlake Country Club westlakecountryclub.com Wild Wing wildwingcafe.com The Willcox therestaurantatw.com

metrospirit.com

dark AFTER

Brittney James

Still crazy, even after Masters Week Well, I’ve recovered from Masters Week. The bags under my eyes have gone away and I’m back to my normal hot self! Now don’t get the impression that I “journal” my life. I have been invited by the Metro Spirit to kind of report scenes of what I see. Don’t expect great writing, but you better believe the stuff you read here is true. And I’m not telling the half of it! It gets crazy. Most nights of the week, there is drama everywhere. I went out last Wednesday or Thursday and wound up at a chain bar/restaurant bitching out some Hooter’s skanks who were planning their own variation of a hot tub time machine that didn’t involve the boys they came with. Heard about Aruba? Not that one. The redneck one at the lake. I think it

is actually a little island where tons of people go to drink Bud Lite and party their asses off. I think it’s a little south Augusta redneck scene… the girls on Facebook look pretty trashy. And speaking of trashy, I cannot freaking believe there are girls going out in this town wearing their hair way up like Snooki or even wearing T-shirts with some of the dumbass stuff she says. If Snooki is your role model, there is something wrong with you. And remember, what happens in Vegas doesn’t always stay in Vegas. Taking one of your waitresses with you? And your wife wasn’t going to find out how? Watch out boys… and girls… for the homewrecka ho’s!

Stop in and take a demo ride today. Start living life on a Harley-Davidson.

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Comedian Benson and guests take on movies The first podcast I ever downloaded was I Love Movies with Doug Benson, now renamed Doug Loves Movies. After one listen, I was hooked. You may recognize the host, Doug Benson, from the fifth season of “Last Comic Standing” (Doug finished sixth), the VH1 series “Best Week Ever,” the Comedy Central series “The Benson Interruption,” his many late night talk show appearances, and from the 2007 movie, “Super High Me.” Let’s just get this out of the way; Doug is a stoner. He likes to partake in what my dad used to call the left-handed cigarette. Doug showed off his stoner skills in “Super High Me,” in which he took on the challenge of 30 days not smoking weed, and 30 days of smoking every day. The results? Doug was funny either way. On the weekly podcast, Doug invites three celebrity guests on stage at the UCB Theatre in Los Angeles to talk about movies. Most of the guests are some of Doug’s favorite actors and/or comedians. They’ll get on stage, make the live audience die of laughter and cap off the podcast with “The Leonard Maltin Game.” The game, started in his early comedy days by himself with fellow comedians Sarah Silverman and Brian Posehn, tests your knowledge of movies and actors in movies. Your best bet on winning the game is bluffing, but there are some movie geniuses on the show who are pretty impressive. I was able to track down Doug from his busy stand-up schedule to ask him a couple questions about the show and try to convince him to come to Augusta. Here’s what he had to say. Metro Spirit: What’s the best part about doing Doug Loves Movies? Doug Benson: The freedom to say whatever I want. There are no rules in podcasting. No ratings board to answer to. The producers of the podcast are friends who don’t tell me what do. We just record a conversation about movies in front of a live audience and then just plop it on the Internet. MS: You had a mission last year to get John Lithgow on Doug Loves Movies and you did it. Is there a new celebrity you’re going for?

DB: No, he was such a gracious and hilarious guest, I can’t imagine anyone else living up to that. Now I’m just going with the flow and letting the guests come to me. The last few shows have featured Rainn Wilson, Simon Pegg, Amy Poehler, Dave Foley and Jeff Garlin, so that approach seems to be working fine. MS: Who has been the best at the Leonard Maltin game? DB: Definitely Edgar Wright (director of “Shaun of the Dead,” “Hot Fuzz,” “Scott Pilgrim vs. the World” and more). He is not only a great filmmaker, he is a full-blown film geek with a terrific memory for actors’ names.

MS: When are you coming to Augusta? DB: Well now that you’ve asked, I guess I’ll have to work on making that happen. If you’ve never listened to Doug Loves Movies, I suggest downloading the episode from Feb. 18 featuring Kevin Smith, Jimmy Pardo and Rob Huebel. Honestly, any episode great, so let the downloading begin. Matt Stone is webmaster for Beasley Broadcasting and can be heard weekdays from 3-7 p.m. on 95 ROCK.

metrospirit.com

Ball

Matt Lane

Time to talk about football... already It’s spring time, which means... time for football? Yes, but don’t worry, coverage of our local high schools will continue as we comb through our regional teams — Clemson, South Carolina, Georgia and Georgia Tech — to give you a final report on what we learned through spring practice. We start with the Clemson Tigers. Time is Finally Here for Boyd

For as productive and exciting as the Kyle Parker era was at Clemson, it was only a matter of time before the clock struck midnight. It’s just business; he’s too good at baseball. All of this comes as no surprise to Clemson fans. Since he first rubbed Howard’s rock and ran down The Hill, we all knew the experience would be short lived. Let’s take a look at the Tigers. Their offense will rely heavily on the running game. This bodes well with the insertion of much-heralded, dual-threat quarterback Tajh Boyd. He is finally getting his chance as a full-time starter. And as unpolished as he looked passing during the spring game, there is no doubting his fantastic running ability out of the spread option package. Boyd’s athleticism will couple nicely with a returning Andre Ellington, who is coming off a toe injury. Through seven games last year he ranked 10th in the nation in scoring, with 12 touchdowns, and was 30th in yards per game with 91.7 (as a non-starter) before getting injured. This solid one-two punch backfield will be galvanized by incoming freshman five-star running back Mike Bellamy, a speedster who the Tigers are hoping will fill the game-breaking role that’s been void since the departure of C.J. Spiller. New Offensive Coordinator Chad Morris, who came over from Tulsa, brings an up-tempo spread offense that looks to run 80 offensive plays per game next year, which would be a 20 percent increase from last year.

The defense only returns five starters in 2011, but what seems like the biggest hole to fill in outgoing Bamberg-Ehrhardt product and 2010’s national sack leader Da’Quan Bowers, is in good hands with defensive end Corey Crawford, the No. 1 prep school player in the country according to 247sports.com. He had two sacks in the spring game. Talented, prized recruits Stephone Anthony and Tony Steward head to campus in the fall expecting playing time. They look to push veterans Justin Parker and Quandon Christian and return the linebacker unit to a position of strength in the conference. The secondary loses three significant veteran players in DeAndre McDaniel, Marcus Gilchrist and Byron Maxwell — all of whom could play professionally next year. Who’s gone? Da’Quan Bowers, the 2010 Bronko Nagurski Trophy recipient and 2010 ACC Defensive Player of the Year; Billy Napier, the former offensive coordinator who did a great job in ’09, or maybe it was the whole C.J. Spiller/ Jacoby Ford thing; and Kyle Parker, there’s a higher professional ceiling in professional baseball, much to the detriment of Clemson football. Who’s here? Chad Morris, offensive coordinator, formerly of Tulsa, brings an up-tempo spread offense. Cue Tiger Rag and get the oxygen tanks on standby; Tajh Boyd, who we finally get to see as a starter instead of just hearing how promising his future is; and Dabo Swinney, a young, fiery leader entering his third season, or the broke man’s Mark Richt to season ticket holders. Depends on how you look at it.

C I U Q

T I KH

What about you guys? Send comments to mattlane28@gmail.com.

metrospirit.com

S R TE

I’m interested to see how far the prospective college list dwindles for the recruits accused in the UGA locker room thefts. More valuable: Free iPhone or free college education? Go watch Jon Gruden’s QB camp with Ryan Mallet. I bet you can’t give me one reason it makes sense to have John Daly in that room. Not one. NBA playof fs. My personal favorite time of the year. Didn’t think “Justified” (Wednesdays, 10 p.m , FX) could get any better after a strong first season. Boy was I wrong. My Birthday is Monday. If I apologize before anything chaotic happens over the weekend, does that lengthen my rope or cover my tab?

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metrospirit.com

advice goddess Amy Alkon

Nodding Of f Hill I’ve been married for 10 years. I’m 43, well-educated, financially well-off and fit. My husband and I are wonderful friends and I love him dearly. However, for reasons he won’t tell me, he decided eight years ago that he was no longer interested in sex. He says it’s “too much work.” He refuses to discuss it further. Also, for work reasons, we live apart. So, I have taken lovers. My husband doesn’t like this, but I pay all his expenses so he can live his dream life, so he doesn’t complain much. Four years ago, I moved to be with a man I got involved with, but the relationship felt more like a bridge than a destination, so I went back to my husband. Now, I love a man who wants to marry me, but I fear that all relationships degrade into roommate situations. I do fantasize that there’s one perfect soulmate for me and,

with him, I’ll be able to commit. For now, I guess staying married helps me keep up appearances that I’m stable and normal while I hold on to the fairy tale that marriage is a forever relationship. — Compartmentalizing I must have missed that fairy tale — the one where the couple gets married and goes off to live happily ever after in the house with the white picket fence and the 2.5 boyfriends. Two years into your marriage, your husband took early retirement from sex, deeming it “too much work.” Well, sure, it takes some elbow grease, but it isn’t exactly picking lettuce in the hot sun for $3 an hour. Although he refuses to even discuss this any further, you keep him on staff — as your Vice President of The

Illusion of Safety and Security. Keeping him on your payroll allows you to play both sides of the street — married and taken and single and available. Single and available allows you your flingy fun. Still being married allows you to stay in himbo limbo — avoiding anything more emotionally risky or stressful than retreating to your couch to wait for your mythical soulmate to fall into your life like a meteorite. The truth is, there are probably various men who are compatible with you in important ways, but there is no such thing as a soulmate — no one perfect partner whose mere presence in your life will dry up all your problems like a big tube of Clearasil. No matter how compatible two people are, things will never be as hot long-term as they were at the start, but they’re the

unhottest for those who think a great relationship will just happen to them. Those are the people who wait until the urge strikes to hug or kiss their partner. Bad idea. Just do it — several times daily. And make a pact that you’ll keep having sex regularly — even when one of you doesn’t totally feel like it. Sex researcher Rosemary Basson found that arousal is “triggerable”; just start making out, and you’ll get turned on and get into it. Ultimately, you have to fill a marriage with loving and sexual acts, and love and sex should continue — assuming you’re with somebody whose idea of sex in marriage isn’t sending his spouse out to bars to score it off somebody else.

exotic cultural knowledge for any guy. It would’ve been nice if you’d been speedier in figuring out that you weren’t up for the husband thing. But, assuming you didn’t promise you’d marry her while crossing your fingers behind your back, it isn’t like you committed some sort of relationship fraud. Ultimately, it was up to your girlfriend to let you know that the

stakes were marriage or bust. You can regret hurting her, but maybe take solace in no longer being with a woman who loves you so deeply and thinks so highly of you that she wants nothing less than to spend the rest of her life with you, you lying fake.

Keeping a Lady Hating My girlfriend of four years is a wonderful person I still love. And, yes, I messed up and feel terrible about it. She wanted to get married and have children, and I realized I didn’t. She not only dumped me, she’s calling me horrible (and untrue) things, like a liar and a fake — weeks after telling me what a great person I am and how deeply she loves me. — Mud

There’s a good chance your girlfriend spent a substantial part of your four years together waiting for you to pop the question, and not the one that goes, “So, did you get all of your stuff out of my place?” Not every woman wants The Royal Wedding and a bunch of babies, but a whole lot do, especially when they’re bumping up against 30, and that shouldn’t be

©2011, Amy Alkon, all rights reserved. Got a problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave, #280, Santa Monica, CA 90405, or email adviceamy@aol.com. Also visit advicegoddess.com and read Amy Alkon’s book: “I See Rude People: One Woman’s Battle to Beat Some Manners Into Impolite Society” (McGraw-Hill, $16.95).

David Best, Gemini “RJ sanding the paint off the sign.”

what’re you

LOOKING metrospirit.com

at?

Hazel Funderburk,

“Y’all’s first issue. I just drove it down from Gaston.”

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metrospirit.com

Any Bunny

Hungry? Our baskets are brimming with fun! So quick like a bunny, hop on into your Home of Hot Wings, Good Times & Great Food!

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l a u nn

e u -Q

B o j an

Hey, mah name is Bawby Quarley, but you can cawl me Bawby Q. Lemme tell ya sumpthin. I want ch’all to boogie on down to the Second Annual Papa Joe’s Banjo-B-Que Bluegrass Festival and State Championship Barbecue cook off happenin this Memorial Day weekend, May 27 and 28. There will be the best in bluegrass picking with bands like Old Crow Medicine Show, Doc Watson and David Holt, Frontier Ruckus , Lil’ Roy and Lizzie, and tons more. Slap that with Kansas City Societysanctioned barbecue slinging, carnival rides and a cultural-craft vibe — ain’t no better way fer you and the slew to spend your

g up

in com

Memorial Day weekend. Ain’t like gas prices are gotten any lower nohow. Get on the worldwide interstate at banjobque. com for the deets and be sher to check out the Pork Tube featuring yours truly, and the very special pig — my cousin in slaw, Rawtney. He wanted me to tell all y’all to make sure to wear your buns clean. What?! Rawtney — it’s sunscreen, ya dang salt lick! Oh hey — and if you wanna know what that random poop smell is, it’s cawled Continental Can. Bawby Quarley likes The Weather Channel, sittin in the yard and anything by a Tribe Called Quest. Sorry ladies, he’s too old to eat.

Brunch

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Happy Easter!

Thursday Live Music with Deepstep Friday Night Rocks Jay Edwards Band Saturday Blue Jeans Brunch 11am-3pm Honey James Band Sunday Blue Jeans Brunch 11am-3pm Brad Vroon Acoustic Washington Road just past I-20 • 706-364-WILD (9453) • w w w. w i l d w i n g c a f e . c o m

metrospirit.com

METRO SPIRIT 4.21.11 53

austin R

What’s the real problem? There have been complaints about elected officials not following the “city charter” (which is curious, because there really isn’t one), and about some sort of seizure of power away from the mayor (which is curious, because we have always known the mayor’s position in Augusta is very weak). Certain politicians took their case to a legislative attorney, and then provided him with horribly incomplete information which rendered his issued opinion (that the city government had been improperly changed) virtually worthless. That flawed opinion seems to be the basis for a recent lawsuit brought by a group of local black ministers who want all action based on the changes to cease and desist while the legality of the moves is determined. A request for a judgment in the case from Georgia Attorney General Sam Olens has been put aside pending movement on that suit. Giving the concerned ministers in

question the benefit of the doubt when it comes to their ultimate motives (some say it is to delay any changes until minorities reclaim at least 50 percent of the commission), I would suggest they look at what constitutes an “improper change of the government.” The lawsuit concentrates on the consolidation agreement language (not a non-existent charter) that mandated the mayor as chief executive officer of the government, and claims that duty has now been handed over to City Administrator Fred Russell. The changes in question in Augusta’s current dilemma all seem to focus on expanded duties of the city administrator, and his ability to shuffle the city workforce in virtually any manner he sees fit. A real change in the powers of the individual elected officials would require eight votes of the commission. The move years ago to shift certain duties to the

administrator (an employee) passed 10-0. Two points here: Shortly after the Augusta consolidation, the 10-0 vote to convey the everyday duties of supervising the city workforce to the administrator was done in the wake of discovering that former mayor (Charles DeVaney) had hidden financial information from certain officials. There was a fear that the new position of mayor had the same ability. The ultimate decision to “hire and fire employees” remained (if desired) with the will of the majority of the commissioners. Four mayors have operated under that directive since the day that measure passed, with all of them complaining that they needed more power to effect real change and improvement. It never came. A collection of administrators (Russell included) always argued in the past that their own job security was at risk because even the simplest decisions to hire or fire employees seemed to carry a political price tag or the threat of retaliation. So the recent 6-4 vote to instruct the administrator to recommend massive changes in bureaucratic infrastructure came with an important caveat that, ultimately, whatever plan was put together would have to be approved by a majority of the commission. That caveat is a detail that, in my opinion, renders the lawsuit, and the complaints of others on the matter, moot.

In essence, there has been no real change in the powers of those elected, merely an assignment of certain duties and a request for cost-cutting recommendations that must ultimately be approved (as always) by elected officials. So what is the beef at those who filed the lawsuit? Do they see an aggressive administrator with a directive to cut costs and eliminate waste as some sort of threat? Do they not have faith that a majority of commissioners will endorse in good faith the changes needed to operate city government responsibly in these austere times? The Augusta-Richmond County consolidation of 1996 came with the promise to eventually eliminate waste and allow the government the chance to best serve what has become Georgia’s second-largest city. If we do not make changes that ensure financial common sense for all involved, we may soon see the new City of Augusta in the same fix the old city found itself in, with one difference: There is no larger entity that can assume our problems and correct them like there was before. The views expressed are the opinions of Austin Rhodes and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher.

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