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Opinion: Austin Rhodes
Marion Williams the Fool
I
t is a “chicken and egg” type question: Who is dumber, Marion Williams, or the people who elected him? Easily the most volatile and intellectually challenged Augusta city commissioner, this week Williams broke new ground throwing a hissy fit over an informal three-page written history of the local fire department. He actually claimed the document was grounds to question Fire Chief Al Gillespie’s fitness to lead his department. What a maroon. He was upset for two reasons: 1. Augusta’s first black fire chief, Ronnie Few, was left out of the informal report. 2. There was no specific mention that he, Marion Williams, was the department’s first black firefighter. Whoop-de-doo. The “oversights” (which were sadly later “corrected” by Gillespie) were fairly easy to explain. The history chronicled moves in the department until 1996. That was before Few, Bernard Mack, or Gillespie, served as chief. None of the three made the report. The fact that Williams was not mentioned as the first black firefighter was in keeping with the fact that there was no mention of the first female firefighter, or any other such personnel firsts. Allow me to correct that today. Little-Known Augusta Fire Department Groundbreakers: First Gay Firefighter: 1938 Marion “Betsy” Peters: Served from the Central Avenue station with distinction until he was caught in an indelicate moment with the stationhouse brass pole. His dismissal was protested by his coworkers, who were hooked on his lemon tarts and creme broule. First Fire Department Dog: 1891 Marion the Dalmatian: Served as mascot for the 6th Battalion until it was discovered it was actually he who was treeing the cats the department was being called to rescue. First Asian Firefighter: 1902: Marion Lo Mein: Mein was honored for heroism many times over the course of his long career. His 2nd Battalion commander also noted that when it came to cleaning uniforms, no one ever did it better. First Italian Firefighter: 1925: Marion “Fast Fingers” Sarducci: Sarducci served as a driver for the 3rd Battalion, and was noted for his ability to get to fires before anyone else. His supervisor noted, “It is an amazing sense Guido has; he knows where the fires are almost before the alarm sounds.” Sarducci’s fam-
ily made its fortune in the olive oil import and waste management industries. First Polish Firefighter: 1952: Marion Dumkowski: Dumkowski’s short tenure ended tragically while taking a cigarette break during his first fire. The incident occurred at a local petroleum plant. First Female Firefighter: 1972: Marion “Double D” Parton: Created quite a stir as a buxom addition to the department during the height of the women’s movement. First act of heroism came as she single-handedly put out a huge brush fire. It was not reported at the time, but the blaze began when women celebrating Parton’s hire ignited nearby woods with their burning bras. First Irish Firefighter: 1872: Marion O’Grady: Noted for inventing the technique known as “back blowing.” During one of his first fires, a flask in O’Grady’s back pocket ignited and “blew out” the house fire he was battling. From that time forward O’Grady was never seen on duty without his flask. First Jewish Firefighter: 1909: Marion Greenbaum: Invented the most effective firehose in history, the “Menorhose.” It has nine nozzles. When asked why he favored so much water delivery at once, Greenbaum said, “Why not so much? It don’t cost nothing.” So you see, there have been many “firsts” in local fire department history, none of which were discussed in the simple little document Marion Williams was screeching about. If you listen to Williams, every slight is based on racism, or some conservative conspiracy to “get him” or his people. In a year when virtually every heavyhanded, controversial political leader was shown the door, you have to wonder if Williams was paying attention. It has been speculated that the “screwloose” won’t run for re-election next year. We can only hope. While it would be great to see him go down in flames at the polls, if Lee Beard can be re-elected as easily as he was, sensible people can only hope Williams doesn’t put it to the test. In the meantime Williams will likely continue to yell “fire!” where there is none, and God forbid a real crisis erupt; no one will be paying attention to this sorry excuse for a public servant. — The views expressed in this column are the views of the writer and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher. The archived Austin Rhodes columns can now be seen at www.wgac.com.
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