Cinema American Wedding (R) — Jim (Jason Biggs) is going to marry his nerdy, peppy, fresh-faced, relentlessly horny girlfriend Michelle (Alyson Hannigan). This, of course, requires a bachelor par ty (strippers), a meeting of the in-laws and shopping for the wedding dress (a dance-off at a gay bar), not to mention the catastrophe-bound event itself. "American Wedding" becomes something of a showcase for Seann William Scott, who gets to strut his stuff right up to, and then well over, the top. Another saving grace is the presence of Eugene Levy, once again por traying Jim's dad, and Fred Willard, as the father of the bride. All of which might sound like a recommendation, which this most cer tainly is not. But essentially, the thing is harmless. Cast: Jason Biggs, Seann William Scott, Alyson Hannigan, Eddie Kaye Thomas, Eugene Levy, Fred Willard. Running time: 1 hr., 35 mins. (Salm) ★1/2 Bad Boys II (R) — Vulgar, brazen, crass, violent, stupid, juvenile, loud, long and pointless — "Bad Boys II" is all that, plus a thin slice of enter taining. The scene is Miami. Marcus (Mar tin Lawrence) and par tner Mike (Will Smith) are back as narcs pledged to double duty: to collar nasty crooks, and to tickle the audience with cute bonding humor. They kick off this par ty by blowing a major drug bust while messing up a Ku Klux Klan rally at the drop site for smuggled dope. Producer Jerry Bruckheimer gives us not story, but the idea of story as gooey plot pizza; not violence, but the idea of violence as car toonish pulp; not style, but the idea of style as shiny pictures for gaping apes; not comedy, but the idea of comedy as compulsive imbecility; not fun, but the idea of fun as a migraine of lavishly cheap jolts. Cast: Will Smith, Mar tin Lawrence, Gabrielle Union, Joe Pantoliano, Jordi Molla. Running time: 2 hrs., 30 mins. (Elliot t) ★ Bend It Like Beckham (PG-13) — English teen Jess Bahmra adores football star David Beckham. She’d also love to be able to play the spor t, but her strictly traditional parents forbid her from doing so in the hopes that she will instead marry in an Indian wedding ceremony. After Jess meets new pal Jules, who plays on an all-female football team, she joins the squad while keeping her new ex tracurricular activity a secret from her parents. Fur ther complicating mat ters, both girls find themselves falling for handsome coach Joe. Cast: Parminder Nagra, Keira Knightley, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Anupam Kher, Archie Panjabi, Shaznay Lewis. Running time: 1 hr., 52 mins. Bruce Almighty (PG-13) — Jim Carrey is Bruce, the
goofy features reporter on a TV station in Buffalo. He aspires to become a "serious" anchor, but after blowing his cool on the air, loses his job and has a rift with his sweet, please-marryme girlfriend (Jennifer Aniston). There cometh unto Buffalo the Almighty (Morgan Freeman). The Lord loans his powers to Bruce. Time for some payback, some wild stunts, some sexual dazzling of Aniston, some nudges of satire. Like Mel Brooks as Moses in "History of the World, Part I," Carrey has climbed the comical Mount Sinai and, like Brooks, he has dropped a tablet on the way down. One of the pieces is "Bruce Almighty." Cast: Jim Carrey, Morgan Freeman, Jennifer Aniston, Philip Baker Hall, Catherine Bell. Running time: 1 hr., 45 mins. (Elliott) ★★ Cabin Fever (R) — Five friends embark on a post-college road trip to a remote cabin in the mountains. When one of them comes down with a gruesome, flesh-eating sickness, the others lock her in a shed to avoid infection. The disease pits friend against friend as they all realize any one of them could be a carrier. Cast: Rider Strong, Jordan Ladd, Joey Kern, James DeBello, Cerine Vincent. Running time: 1 hr., 34 mins. Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle (PG-13) — is a dodo begging for ex tinction. Cameron Diaz, Drew Barrymore and Lucy Liu reprise their 2000 updates on the old TV espionage cuties, again combining macho girl brass and "shake your booty" allure. The plot involves impor tant high-tech rings. The buff, jived angels race dir t bikes. There is a naughty nuns bit, set to music from "The Sound of Music," and a "Dir ty Dancing" jam of pumpin' rumps. Stupefying is a violent showdown at L.A.'s Griffith Observatory. This dizzy spree of selfadoring ideas ends with outtakes of the cast laughing dementedly, wild with surplus merriment. The term "go, girl" grinds to a halt. Cast: Drew Barrymore, Cameron Diaz, Lucy Liu, Demi Moore, Bernie Mac, Crispin Glover, Luke Wilson, John Cleese. Running time: 1 hr., 42 mins. (Elliot t) 0 Daddy Day Care (PG) — Looking very much like the engorged warm-up for a future TV sitcom, "Daddy Day Care" stars Eddie Murphy and Jeff Garlin as cereal company promo men who lose their jobs, then star t a home day-care facility. There is an absurdly snooty villain (Anjelica Huston), owner of a posh day-care school. The kids are central casting darlings. The movie, which has a stern warning against sugar-based cereals, is sugared cereal. Cast: Eddie Murphy, Anjelica Huston, Jeff Garlin, Steve Zahn, Regina King. Running time: 1 hr., 35 mins. (Elliot t) ★★
Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star (PG-13) —
David Spade stars as Dickie Rober ts, adored as a child sit-
20th Century Fox
“The Order”
RATINGS
★★★★ — Excellent.
M E T R O S P I R I T S E P T 1 1
Columbia Pictures
Movie Listings
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“Once Upon a Time in Mexico”
2 0 0 3
com star in the 1970s, but now slumming it as a 35-year-old parking valet. Desperate to get his showbiz career back, Rober ts is convinced that if he can get an audition with director Rob Reiner, everything will fall into place. When he does get an audition, Reiner shocks Rober ts by telling him that because of his unusual childhood, Rober ts is not normal enough for the par t. So, what does Rober ts do? He hires a family to give him the childhood he missed out on the first time around. Cast: David Spade, Mary McCormack, Jon Lovitz, Craig Bierke, Alyssa Milano. The Fighting Temptations (PG-13) — Darrin Hill is a newly laid-off New York adver tising executive with a slew of bill collectors breathing down his neck. When he discovers his late Aunt Sally has left him an inheritance of $150,000, Hill figures his troubles are over. But as always, there’s a catch: In order to get the money, Aunt Sally has requested Hill create a choir, enter it in the annual Gospel Explosion competition and bring home a victory for her small Southern town. It seems like a drag until Hill meets a beautiful jazz singer who shows him there’s more to life than money. Cast: Cuba Gooding, Beyonce Knowles, Mike Epps. Finding Nemo (G) — A father clown fish (Alber t Brooks) tracks young son Nemo through the Pacific to Sydney, Australia, after the small fry is caught and sold for a fish tank. Ellen DeGeneres voices adorable Dory, who is very pret ty and helpful as Marlin's search mate. The humans are alien invaders, big and nearly thoughtless. If "Finding Nemo" is just another of our plex distractions, then it's a giddy bummer, but as a whimsical warning with bite it arrives just in time. Helping to make the seas a lasting realm for real Nemos could be the good, giving backwash of "Finding Nemo." Cast: Alber t Brooks, Ellen DeGeneres, Alexander Gould, Willem Dafoe, Austin Pendleton, Vicki Lewis, Geoffrey Rush, Barry Humphries. Running time: 1 hr., 41 mins. (Elliot t) ★★★★ Freaky Friday (PG) — It’s the updated version of the ‘70s film, starring Jamie Lee Cur tis as a frazzled mom and Lindsay Lohan as her rebellious teen-age daughter. The two are constantly arguing and both wish they could be someone else. When their wish comes true and the two end up switching bodies, they have to find a way back to their normal selves – before Mom walks down the aisle again. Cast: Jamie Lee Cur tis, Lindsay Lohan, Mark Harmon, Christina Vidal. Freddy vs. Jason (R) — The two masters of horror find themselves locked in a gory battle. An unfortunate group of teens finds that they’re trapped in the middle of the slasher showdown. Cast: Robert Englund, Ken Kirzinger, Kelly Rowland, Jason Bateman, Jason Ritter. Grind (PG-13) — Skateboarding flick about four skaters who take one last road trip before college to follow the summer tour of one of the country’s biggest skateboarding stars. Their goal is to get noticed and asked to be par t of the troupe, but the tour manager makes things as difficult as possible for the boys. Cast: Colin McKay, Rober t Baker, Adam Brody, Shonda Farr, Jason London. The Hulk (PG-13) — It's excessive and too long, but with exciting macho blows, it pounds away at machismo. The nerdy, but more than sturdy scientist Bruce Banner (Eric Bana) becomes a plaintive monster, morphed by digital effects into a furious green giant. The Hulk doesn't merely leap tall buildings in a single bound. He springs over Wile E. Coyote canyons and falls from the upper atmosphere into San Francisco Bay and turns huge U.S. tanks into twisted toys. "The Hulk" presses on like a Wagner opera of "Fight Club." You can end up pulverized and satisfied, whipped and wowed. Cast: Eric Bana, Jennifer Connelly, Sam Elliot t, Nick Nolte, Josh Lucas, Paul Kersey. Running time: 2 hrs., 15 mins. (Elliot t) ★★★ The Italian Job (PG-13) — If you must remake "The Italian Job," the way to go is demonstrated by F. Gary Gray's highly professional makeover. The 1969 heist was for $4 million in gold in Turin, the new one is for $35 million in gold in Venice. In place of Michael Caine as the top heister, there is
★★★— Worthy.
★★ — Mixed.
★ — Poor.
Mark Wahlberg. Donald Sutherland appears with his patented aura of suave, cheeky sincerity, yet does not linger. So the crew is planning revenge against icy sociopath and ex-par tner Steve (Ed Nor ton). Steve has fled to Los Angeles with the loot. "The Italian Job" is the real kickoff of summer and also the best remake since "The Thomas Crown Affair" got a delicious new lease on life. Cast: Mark Wahlberg, Charlize Theron, Donald Sutherland, Ed Nor ton, Seth Green, Jason Statham, Mos Def. Running time: 1 hr., 51 mins. (Elliott) ★★★1/2 Jeepers Creepers 2 (R) — In the sequel to 2001’s “Jeepers Creepers,” a busload of high school basketball players, cheerleaders and coaches headed home from the state championships run into a terrifying, flesh-eating creature on a desolate back road. Cast: Jonathan Breck, Ray Wise, Nicki Lynn Aycox, Billy Aaron Brown, Lena Caldwell.
Legally Blonde 2: Red, White and Blonde (PG13) — Reese Witherspoon is so peachy and pink and
perky as Elle Woods, girl lawyer crusading for animal rights in D.C., that you can just about forgive the brazen retouching of elements from "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington," including a clip from the Capra film. Elle even visits, like Jimmy Stewar t before, the Lincoln Memorial. The rather lame "political" plot and sof t gags breeze by thanks to her, Sally Field, Bob Newhar t and Luke Wilson. 1 hr., 35 mins. (Elliot t) ★★
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (PG13) — Sean Connery's Allan Quatermain is a former
adventurer suffering from disillusionment and a broken hear t. A mysterious Brit who calls himself "M" finds the physically fit Quatermain in Africa with predictions of impending doom and a request by Queen Victoria to help save the world. An opium-wracked Quatermain is tracked down by the Dracula-inspired character Mina Harker (Peta Wilson), who is introduced a lit tle later in the film, as are Captain Nemo, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, and the Invisible Man. One might forgive some of the clunky editing and pasted-together plotlines. Less forgivable is the contrived, bringon-the-sequel ending. Unforgivable and completely baffling is the dimming of Connery's star-power. Cast: Sean Connery, Naseeruddin Shah, Peta Wilson, Stuar t Townsend and Shane West. Running time: 1 hr., 41 mins. (Wood) ★★ Magdalene Sisters (R) — The characters in “Magdalene Sisters” are based on those affected by true events that happened in Ireland between the 1960s and 1996. An estimated 30,000 young women, seen as having commit ted sexual sins, were rounded up and sent away from their families to work in profit-making laundries run by the Sisters of the Magdalene Order. Enduring psychological abuse, poor living conditions and working to exhaustion, the central characters, who include young mothers, pregnant teenagers and rape victims, tell the story of how they survived. Cast: Geraldine McEwan, Anne-Marie Duff, Dorothy Duffy, Eileen Walsh. Running time: 1 hr., 59 mins. Matchstick Men (PG-13) — Roy and Frank are a couple of con ar tists, drif ting through life without much responsibility. That all changes when Roy is tracked down by Angela, the the 14-year-old daughter he was only vaguely aware existed. As Roy learns to be a parent, Angela picks up the gif t of scam. Cast: Nicolas Cage, Sam Rockwell, Alison Lohman, Bruce McGill. The Matrix: Reloaded (R) — Keanu Reeves is back as Neo, empowered hero. Also, savior of the human race that was inside the cybernetic Matrix, enslaved as "cat tle," but has now fled to a life in an underground city. A blur of sci-fi and head comix clichés and "1984" gone 2003, the movie is overwhelmingly designed, but underwhelmingly imagined. There is the Matrix and the Oracle and the Keymaker and the Architect. Humor is kept minimal, as that could pop the gas balloon. The packaging is cosmic, success inevitable. Success feeds success. "The Matrix Revolutions" is set for Nov. 7. Time for Harry Pot ter and Frodo Baggins to join
0— Not worthy.
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