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JUNE 20-26, 2002 • FREE WEEKLY • METSPIRIT.COM

Children • Infants • Families • Graduations • Special Events • Passports

By Brian Neill.................................................16

Opinion

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Whine Line ......................................................................4 Words ..............................................................................4 Thumbs Up, Thumbs Down ..........................................4 This Modern World ........................................................4 Suburban Torture ...........................................................6 Letter to the Editor .........................................................6 Austin Rhodes ................................................................8 Insider ...........................................................................10

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Up Close with David Mascaro .....................................11 Commission Takes on X-Rated Store ... and the Constitution ...................................................................12 Group Wants To Pull Sunday Cork ..............................14

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Arts

Killer Beaz Coming to Coyote's ..................................24 Greater Augusta Arts Council Awards ........................25 “Tom Sawyer” Continues to Delight ..........................26

5-speed, A/C, AM/FM Cass, Cruise & Much More Cinema: Movie Listings............28

Cinema Movie Listings .............................................................28 Review: “Minority Report” ..........................................31 Movie Clock ..................................................................31

Events

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Music

Kari Gaffney Goes National .........................................37 Music By Turner ............................................................38 Ph Balance: Great Music That's Great for Your Hair ................................................................................38 Nightlife ........................................................................ 39

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Food: D. Timm's ...........................................................23 News of the Weird .......................................................42 Brezsny's Free Will Astrology .....................................43 New York Times Crossword Puzzle ............................43 Amy Alkon: The Advice Goddess ................................44 Date Maker ...................................................................45 Classifieds ....................................................................47

• Copy Work • Reunions • Press Releases •

Contents The Metropolitan Spirit

EDITOR & PUBLISHER David Vantrease ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Rhonda Jones STAFF WRITERS Stacey Eidson, Brian Neill ADVERTISING SALES MANAGER Joe White ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Kriste Lindler PRODUCTION MANAGER Joe Smith GR APHIC ARTISTS Stephanie Carroll, Natalie Holle ASSISTANT TO THE PUBLISHER Meli Gurley RECEPTIONIST/CLASSIFIED COORDINATOR Sharon King ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT ASSISTANT Lisa Jordan CIRCULATION DIRECTOR Meli Gurley SENIOR MUSIC CONTRIBUTOR Ed Turner EDITORIAL INTERN Aimee Pavlik CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Chuck Shepherd, Rob Brezsny, Austin Rhodes, Amy Alkon, Rachel Deahl CARTOONISTS Tom Tomorrow, Julie Larson

THE METROPOLITAN SPIRIT is a free newspaper published weekly on Thursday, 52 weeks of the year. Editorial coverage includes ar ts, local issues, news, enter tainment, people, places and events. In our paper appear views from across the political and social spectrum. The views do not necessarily represent the views of the publishers. Visit us at www.metspirit.com. Copyright © The Metropolitan Spirit Inc. Reproduction or use without permission is prohibited. Phone: (706) 738-1142 Fax: (706) 733-6663 E-mail: spirit@metspirit.com Letters to the Editor: P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, Ga. 30914-3809

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Whine Line T

hey had a big celebration for the queen's jubilee last weekend: 50 years on the throne. They say the queen has the highest popularity rating in the country for any unelected official. You know, kind of like George Bush here. If Ed McIntyre is elected mayor, Augusta will have a convicted crook in charge of a government filled with corruption. A convicted crook and corruption sounds like a match made in heaven. Not even Hollywood could write a script this good. Columbia County Commissioner “Lighthead” Mercer is keeping his head down and remaining silent on the issue of a separate chamber for the county. When he first ran for office, he favored a separate organization. Has he had a change of heart or did someone get to him? I think it's a case of the latter for he is not capable of much independent thinking or positive leadership. Linda Schrenko's latest term as superintendent has been four years of haggling with the governor and the board — all Democrats. Should she by some stroke of luck become governor, what do you think Georgia would gain? My bet is four more years of haggling and battle with the legislature because she does not understand that politics is "the art of compromise." I would like to suggest that you start another page in The Met Spirit, one where people who observe crimes or repeat offenders can write in and warn others about the offenders.

For example the man who keeps coming by the gas station every three or four weeks and drives off without paying. Perhaps if all the stations around were watching for him we could catch him and get him off the streets. One offender in Columbia County was sentenced to 12 months in jail for driving off on a $10 gas ticket. Maybe Richmond County needs some judges like that. Please don't compare an honest, gifted group like The Three Stooges to those unethical, moronic, racist commissioners Williams, Beard and Mays! Wake up Augusta! Be honest with yourself, and admit these leeches are more concerned about their own agenda than the welfare of Augusta. There must be a reason why thousands of people have moved from Richmond County to Columbia County. Let's see...no Williams, Beard, etc. over there! Bravo to Mr. Hightower for his eye-opening article on Wal-Mart. As a Wal-Mart associate I can tell you everything in that article is true. Our pay is very small and not what people think it is compared to what we put up with. The biggest retailer in the country’s top executives make more money than the president of the United States, while its workers work their backsides off to make a living. The biggest retailer in the country wants the public to think it’s a down-home company with down-home values. When Mr. Sam was alive it was, but not now. They have become greedy. They don’t care how their associates think or feel. Bravo again to Mr. Hightower! It’s about time the public knew of the facade

W O R D S “We will be back out there in force. Basically, we’re standing by until they (federal plutonium transports) say they’re coming.’’ — Sid Gaulden, spokesman for the South Carolina Department of Public Safety, as quoted in the Charlotte (N.C.) Observer, referring to the placement of state troopers at the entrance to the Savannah River Site to stop future plutonium shipments, despite a federal court’s ruling to allow passage of the shipments.

Wal-Mart likes to put on. I find it interesting that Dr. (Charles) Larke is getting a 9-percent raise increase from the RCBE and the teachers are only getting 3 percent. There is not one word of truth to Governor Barnes’ ads on TV. The schools are still socially promoting children that don't meet the requirements. Teachers cannot get rid of disruptive students. That Kansas / R.E.O. Speedwagon concert Friday night on the lawn out at Fort Gordon was excellent. Everything about it was top drawer. Both of those bands were great, on time, and they didn't miss a lick. Tickets were reasonably priced and so were the varied concessions that they had! (They even had roasted turkey legs — yum!) The Army does it right, I must say...so clean and organized and they didn't try to gouge your last buck from you as other venues do. Even the weather was right. I've been to a slew of concerts in my time and this one ranks up there with the best of good times and great music. It is a shame the local news stations spend more time telling what is coming next than actually reporting the news. Evidently they are more concerned the viewer might switch to one of the other stations during the frequent and extended commercials. If there aren't enough commercials there is always the filler about what a good news station you are watching. I was wondering why they plowed the median of Riverwatch Parkway instead of mowing it. Now it’s just one big mass of dirt. Why doesn’t the city of Augusta plant some flowers to make it more beautiful? We are, after all, "The Garden City" not "The Plowed Mud City"! It is quite apparent all of the anti-Robin Williams whines in last weeks’ Spirit are being generated by those who truly-fear the election of someone who possesses and knows how to use the political and business savvy needed to unite and bring our county forward. Man, after reading all these whines about the candidates running for office, I will bet most

are written by the opposing candidate and using the Whine Line for free unedited publicity and potshot name-calling. According to The Spirit, black voters would vote for Ed McIntyre just because he’s black. Not this voter! I’m loyal to my community, but there’s no way I’d vote for a felon. McIntyre had the chance of a lifetime when

Thumbs Up It’s about time that Aiken pushed for a revision to antiquated laws that prevent it from serving alcohol at restaurants on Sundays. Now that Aiken, in the past year or so, has seen restaurant chains like Chili’s and Outback move into its city limits, it only makes sense that it abolishes the outdated blue laws. Otherwise, many Aiken residents will keep driving to the Outback and Chili’s in Augusta on Sunday.

Thumbs Down Reading Aiken Mayor Fred Cavanaugh and others go on in The Augusta Chronicle about the Character First program was nauseating, to say the least. The program, which the city actually pays for to the tune of about $8,000 a year, relies on billboards and TV ads dedicated to trying to drill monthly installments of character aspects such as “honesty” and “sincerity” into people’s heads. There is no solid proof that the program works. Of course school principals in some cities are going to say it does, particularly when the mayors of their cities are promoting it. Maybe if we start putting billboards around the Middle East with words like “peace” and “compassion,” it will take root.

elected as Augusta’s first black mayor. The only thing he managed to do was embarrass himself. I hope the people who voted for McIntyre before won’t make the same mistake twice.

M E T R O

I wrote Mayor Young an e-mail weeks ago asking for aid in having storm damage picked up. He responded by stating that the city has no legal obligation to pick up my storm trash. (I have no legal obligation to vote for Mayor Boob in November.) Augusta Public Works Director Teresa Smith and Deputy Administrator Fred Russell cannot think outside the box. They have one crew working the entire county! Put some extra dump trucks and jail trustees to work. Duh!

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I don't understand the Whine Line anymore. It seems to suppress negative news about the Sheriff's Department. It's OK for the sheriff to hassle the Red Lion Pub. But if we write about the lack of attention the Sheriff's Department pays to super bikes racing on the Calhoun Expressway or to the cars playing their boom boxes too loudly, the whine editor apparently deletes it without a second thought. The Metro Spirit is apparently losing its zeal for real reporting, for turning over rocks.

Columbia County Rep. Harbin thinks, "Regionalism is best if everyone in the region is considered equal." Get real, and recognize that some are always "more equal." Columbia County needs its own economic development organization now instead of the horrible lash-up we presently have with the Metro Chamber. Hey job-hunting teen-agers! Here’re three tips on how to get that job. 1) Dress neatly when picking up and returning the job application: No street clothes! 2) Fill out the application legibly in blue or black ink or else the application will not be reviewed. 3) Do not call the employer to see if they are hiring; go in person during business hours. Some businesses have special days or hours for accepting applications. Also remember this: When you walk into a company that is hiring, your "first impression" toward them will determine if you get that job. Do not use slang when you speak or answer any questions. Wine is usually judged by its age and, in most cases, the more mature the wine the better the wine. When it comes to the Whine Line, all we are served in Augusta Richmond County is “Young” whine, whine that is aimed at discrediting the only really qualified candidate for Mayor and that’s Robin Williams. You know the constant orchestrated attempt of the cronies of our present mayor to paint Robin Williams as a puppet of Charles Walker is only an attempt to drive a wedge between the black and white voters of our community. By using this approach they hope to influence the white voter to vote against Robin out of a fear of an alliance that does not exist. No mention is ever made of the support by civic leaders such as former Sheriff Charlie Webster, Richard Colclough, or former Mayor Charles DeVaney. Voters, please do not let this tactic influence your decision in the voting booth. Robin Williams is nobody's puppet and is the most qualified person in the race. continued on page 6

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M E T R O

After reading that little piece of fascist fiction masquerading as a letter to the editor written by Tom Hunter in this week's Spirit, I could hardly contain myself. Mr. Hunter serves a perfect exemplar of the extreme right-wing hatemonger so prevalent today. If Mr. Hunter hates The Metropolitan Spirit so much, why does he read it? If he wants to read something more agreeable to his narrow mentality, he should stick with The Augusta Chronicle. Yes, Mr. Hunter. Hatred is alive and well in Augusta. You are living proof. And your nasty diatribe notwithstanding, The Metropolitan Spirit is a great little paper, and the only one which tells both sides of a story. I guess that is what you fascists can't tolerate.

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It's only a matter of time before a serious accident occurs due to cars headed south on Windsor Spring Road flying through the red light at the intersection of Richmond Hill Road. Something needs to be done! So, you don't think Austin is smarter than 90 percent in Augusta. You are so right. He is smarter than 99 percent. No whine here. Great story by Brian Neill concerning "The Valley.” Brian gets a Thumbs Up !

— Call our Whine Line at 510-2051 and leave your comments. We won’t use your name. Fax your whines by dialing (706) 733-6663 or e-mail your whines to whine@metspirit.com

Letter to the Editor

In Praise of Gov. Hodges

am a South Carolinian by birth living in Georgia now, but I believe every South Carolinian should be thankful for having a great governor like Jim Hodges for his valiant stand against the Department of Energy over the plutonium issue. Republicans are trying to demonize Governor Hodges, yet he is the only one who is making any sense. Governor Hodges does not oppose bringing plutonium to S.C., he is simply telling the DOE that he does not want them to bring plutonium here unless they submit to an enforceable agreement to build a processing plant, a commitment to process the plutonium, and a timetable to remove it from SRS. This is the only proposal I’ve heard that will bring hundreds of jobs to SRS and prevent S.C. from becoming a nuclear waste dump site. Senator Strom Thurmond and Rep.

Lindsey Graham are proposing a fine of $1 million per day against the DOE for failing to meet a deadline to remove the plutonium from SRS. This sounds good at first glance, yet they fail to tell people that the money is taxpayers’ money and the DOE could care less about a fine. My guess is that Governor Hodges will lose this fight in the federal court system, but I am also reminded of something my dad used to say when he was making a point about one of his predictions. He would say, “Paul, just mark my words such-and-such will surely happen.” Well, you can mark my words that, if the DOE is permitted to bring plutonium to SRS without an enforceable agreement to remove it, that plutonium will stay there for many decades. Sincerely, Paul L. Cook

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Opinion: Austin Rhodes

Fugate Execution … Not!

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uesday afternoon, murderer Wallace Fugate ate like a man with no tomorrow. That was because he didn’t have one. The Putnam County man was set to die by lethal injection for the 1991 murder of his exwife Pattie. Unfortunately, the 7 o’clock execution never took place. Thanks to an absolutely ludicrous ruling by Fulton County Judge John Goger, ultimate justice was delayed in the case. Goger stayed the execution because, get this, the state Board of Pardons and Paroles is operating with four members right now instead of five. All it takes is three members voting to proceed with an execution to make it happen. The short-handed board voted four to zip, in favor of execution. Even though the fifth vote was meaningless, Goger ruled the absence of that vote was enough to delay the procedure. Way to go, Judge Nimrod. Using Goger’s logic, no governing body from the U.S. Senate to the Social Circle City Council can deliberate and vote unless all members are present. In one sweeping motion, Judge Goger just made single members of deliberative bodies all-powerful. Even if the ruling reflected just on the Pardons and Paroles it would be chilling. If one member wanted to halt all actions before the board, all he has to do is stay home on meeting day. Goger’s decision may go down as one of the single dumbest orders in Georgia legal history. I hope the voters in Fulton County are made aware of his stupidity. But don’t count on it. Most Fulton County voters are kept informed either by TV news or by The Atlanta JournalConstitution. Neither has given the Fugate case a thorough examination, in fact, the AJC editorial page would have you believe Fugate is the victim of an inadequate legal defense system. While they rightly point out the wife-killer didn’t exactly have Perry Mason defending him in the case, they fail to address the horrific nature of the murder, and the fact that Wallace Fugate told several people that he would kill Pattie if he ever got her alone. They also fail to report that Fugate violated a court order to stay away from the woman, and that moments before he fired the bullet that ended her life, he beat the ever-loving Hell out of her. Fugate did all this in front of the 15year-old son he shared with his victim, and just for good measure, he took a shot at his kid as well. The AJC is fast to report that the court case against Fugate lasted only two days, and that the jury deliberated only 27 minutes. What they don’t tell you is, there was enough concrete evidence to prove Fugate intended to kill his exwife that day that Ray Charles could see it. While there were some discrepancies in the case, here are a few points no one disputes: 1. Wallace Fugate threatened to kill Pattie, on numerous occasions. 2. Wallace Fugate showed up at Pattie’s home in direct violation of a court order, and he did it with a loaded gun. 3. Wallace Fugate beat Pattie severely in front of their son, moments before she was killed. No one, even Fugate himself, disagrees with

the above facts. What he does say is that the gun went off accidentally, and that he didn’t mean to kill her. I guess a vicious beating was all he had in mind that afternoon, and he brought the loaded pistol that day to hunt snipe. The AJC makes their case to the entire state, but specifically, they make it to the politicians inside the perimeter. Don’t think they don’t relish the fact that the decision-makers read their paper every morning, before they go out and make decisions. Mike Luckovich said exactly that a few weeks ago during a presentation for the Atlanta Press Club which I attended. The incredibly gifted AJC cartoonist was asked if he knew of an occasion where his work influenced any major policy decisions. He said he believed his efforts on behalf of Augusta killer Alexander Williams may have led the Pardons and Paroles board to eventually commute his death sentence. He said it with pride. After the meeting, I introduced myself and asked him about the case. He knew less about the details of the Aleta Bunch murder than I know about college calculus. All he knew was that Williams is mentally ill today. He had no idea that the killer was healthy as a horse the day he killed 16-year-old Aleta, or that he took great pride in molesting her and torturing her before he ended her life. But Luchovich and the rest of the AJC editorial staff can celebrate because their mission was accomplished. The fact that they were operating with less than half the pertinent information in the case didn’t matter. Same as with the Fugate case. State leaders need to address the many shortcomings in our capital punishment system, so that the incessant delays and ridiculous commutations cease. Right now we have a Pardons and Paroles board that can easily be manipulated by a left-wing editorial board, and an uneven public defender system that depends on too many country bumpkin attorneys and judges to be just. What Georgia needs, immediately, is a statefunded public defenders pool that handles all capital cases. We also need to certify a special collection of judges and prosecutors to handle the complexities of capital case prosecution. These professionals would receive the special training they need to eliminate the mistakes that we see over and over again throw cases into appeals. Don’t count on Governor Roy Barnes or House Speaker Tom Murphy to ever suggest such common-sense solutions. As members of the Georgia Bar they love to see a tangled legal system where no one ever profits but the lawyers. In the meantime, Wallace Fugate awaits another “final” meal like the one he had Tuesday afternoon, and oh yeah, Pattie Fugate is still dead.

— The views expressed in this column are the views of the writer and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher. The archived Austin Rhodes columns can now be seen at www.wgac.com.

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Opinion: Insider

Will Augusta Cut Off Chamber? Don’t Bet On It

ity Administrator George Kolb, state Sen. Charles Walker, and a handful of Augusta Commissioners have hinted at the idea that the city should withhold the money it gives to the Metro Augusta Chamber of Commerce annually and use the funds to form an in-house economic development department to recruit business to Richmond County. That sentiment has the folks at the Chamber scrambling to justify their existence, several Augusta commissioners wondering how the city can afford to fund a new department, and Columbia County insiders pondering a policy that will separate its economic development from Richmond County. The idea has created an intense behind-thescenes debate that pits the Chamber against the certain commissioners and Richmond County against Columbia County. Some Augusta comJim West missioners are steamed that the Chamber joined the effort to change the way local government operates. After sitting on the fence for weeks during the legislative sesGeorge Kolb sion, the busi-

ness community finally forced the chamber to criticize the Augusta Commission and call on the local legislative delegation to make changes. This issue dominated the session, pitted members of the delegation against one another, and further pointed out the racial divide that dominates Augusta politics. Ultimately nothing was done. Hard feelings resulted. Several commissioners have publicly criticized the Chamber and some acknowledge that it is payback time. Meanwhile, Columbia County officials are fed up with Richmond County. After a failed attempt to separate from the Metro Chamber and form an independent Columbia County chamber several years ago, relations between the neighboring counties have been tenuous, at best. Most businesspeople and public officials in Columbia County realize they should have fought harder to free themselves from the constraints placed on them by their association with the Metro Chamber. The necessity of working together on a regional approach to recruit business is the selling point that city power brokers promote to maintain strong economic development ties with Columbia County. If Richmond County forms its own in-house department, look for Columbia County to go its own way. Insiders report that the powers-that-be in Columbia County are sitting back, waiting for Augusta to make its move. Reliable sources indicate an alliance between Columbia County and surrounding Georgia counties is likely if the Augusta Commission votes to create the new department. This new alliance will exclude Richmond County. Several Augusta Commissioners are aware of this possibility and will move to squelch the effort to form an in-house economic development department. First, Augusta doesn’t have the money to fund it. The money that it gives to the chamber represents only a portion of the costs required to effectively operate such a department. For a city

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further tarnish his already-blemished political reputation. As The Insider has observed over the years, some people who are bitten with the political bug are easily swayed to run for office too often without regard to strategic thinking about their potential political career. Green is one of those people. After gaining respect from the local political power structure for his impressive race against Augusta Commissioner Lee Beard (District 1) a few years ago, Green had an opportunity to garner support for a possible political future. Instead, he moved into District 4 and ran for that commission seat. He was defeated by current Commissioner Richard Colclough. His eagerness and resulting loss turned off his supporters and created an image of Green as someone who lacks focus and just wants to hold a political office – any office. Green’s best move now is to take his name out of the mayoral discussion, build his career resume, and work behind the scenes in political races he believes in. His credibility will improve and he can set himself up to run for the District 1 commission seat when Beard’s seat comes up in 2004. Term limits built into the consolidation bill prohibit Beard from seeking office again in that year. If Green decides to run for mayor or continues to talk about it and doesn’t run, he will be the big loser. He has absolutely no chance of winning, regardless of who enters the mayor’s race. Let the Games Begin As The Insider goes to press, candidates are qualifying for the Aug. 20 primary election. The deadline for these political hopefuls is Friday, June 21, at 12 noon. Keep your eyes on The Metropolitan Spirit as the campaign season takes shape.

—The views expressed in this column are the views of The Insider and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher.

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that can’t manage its current budget without property tax increases, this idea is folly. The creation of an in-house department will also give Columbia County a blameless opportunity to cast off on its own, to the detriment of Richmond County. An in-house economic development department for Augusta government is not likely anytime soon. Brian Green Should Sit Down Perennial candidate Brian Green is at it again. After losing two races for a seat on the Augusta Commission, Green has been waiting for an opportunity to run again. The political wannabe has Brian Green been telling people for months that he will become a candidate for mayor of Augusta. Then, a few weeks ago, a group of politicos attempted to recruit Green to run against state Sen. Charles Walker. Ultimately discussions broke down after the parties couldn’t agree on the amount of money it would take for Green to mount a campaign against Walker. So, Green’s name is back in the press as a mayoral candidate. How ridiculous. Does Green want to run for mayor; Walker’s seat, or does he just enjoy seeing his name and picture in print? Green’s credibility is suffering. Even those who like Green and could possibly support him for something are beginning to dismiss him as a political gadfly with more gall than talent. It’s time for Green to take a reality check. He has no support. His candidacy for any office this year will result in an overwhelming defeat that would

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With David Mascaro

S P I R I T J U N E

BY AIMEE PAVLIK

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painting showing a small Spanish olive among towering eggplants and other vegetables visually tells the story of Millard the olive. “I use, in this case, fruits and vegetables to tell a little story or to get a point across,” Mascaro says. “I just think they’re cute.” Five years ago Mascaro gave up the meticulous field of medical illustration for the freedom to paint everything from scenes of olives and eggplants to those of breathtaking sunsets. The timing was right for him to return to the expressive roots that he developed as a young man in art school, he says, and the Dunlap Gallery, where Mascaro was among friends, was the right place to do it. For Mascaro, who describes his work as “quiet, colorful and well-painted,” much of his inspiration comes from places such as his mountain home in Brevard, N.C., where Mascaro says the scenery is stunning. Or as one of his paintings of a sunset on Broad Street shows, sources of inspiration can be found just beyond the gallery door. “Sometimes you dream up things to paint, other times you literally paint what you see,” he says. “Around Augusta, you see a sunset and it stops you and the next thing in my mind is, ‘I wonder what it would be like to try to paint it.’” As a medical illustrator, Mascaro says that the style of his work was called “super realism,” which he says meant that “every little pore and wart had to be there.” For this reason Mascaro welcomes the ability to be more laid back with the creation and completion of his paintings. “It’s nice not to have a timeline and a deadline, and now I have neither one of

those and I can take as much time as I like,” he says. “And I’m not pressured by someone saying ‘you need to make that red a little redder or that green a little greener.’ It’s up to me and my intelli-

C R A B T R E E & E V E L Y N®

gence as an artist.” Mascaro says that he has yet to develop a theme to his work, and that currently he is exploring. In the future, he is interested in doing more figurative

work, such as nudes and portraits. He also considers much of his work — even those paintings hung on the wall of the gallery — as works in progress. “As you get better you see things in older work that could or should be changed,” he says. “I’ll just look at a painting so long and think that something is missing or needs to be changed. For example, I’m going to put a rooster in this painting. It’s been needing something, and I bet you it sells as soon as the rooster gets in there.” Mascaro’s talent has been with him since childhood. He remembers that he was the kid in class who could always draw better than everyone else. It was after moving to New York City to receive an art education that Mascaro says he met Alton Tobey, who inspired him to go into teaching. Mascaro says that he eventually returned to Augusta to work with students at the Medical College of Georgia in the area of medical illustration because of his fascination with the human body and the science that surrounds it. Although he still teaches a class at Augusta State University twice a week, Mascaro has enjoyed the move to gallery life thoroughly. In the next year he plans to have his work exhibited in New Orleans, Hendersonville, N.C., and Brevard, N.C. He is also looking forward to his next show at the gallery, to be held in the fall, and says that it is always an event that enables an artist to turn out some of his best work. “If you have fun, then usually other people see the fun in what you’re doing,” Mascaro says of his work. “If it’s too pressured, I think that takes a lot of the joy out of it, and at this stage in my life the joy is important.”

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MetroBeat Commission Takes on X-Rated Store … and the Constitution

united Augusta Commission, with the backing of Sheriff Ronnie Strength and District Attorney Danny Craig, seems to have just willingly charged hand-in-hand straight into a lawsuit. On June 18, the commission was forced to consider the extremely unpopular possibility of having an adult bookstore in Augusta. Tom Maddox, an attorney from Tucker, Ga., representing a Florida-based company, called ASP, Inc., went before the commission asking that his client be granted a “special exception” zoning request in order to establish a proposed adult book and video store at 1367 Gordon Highway near Doug Barnard Parkway. The Augusta-Richmond County Planning Commission already approved Maddox’s request based on the fact that the applicant met all of the requirements under the city’s zoning ordinances. But when news of this proposed adult bookstore spread throughout the community and local churches, more than 225 citizens piled into the downtown courthouse to let their objections be known. Each person opposed to the adult bookstore was handed a bright, neon-green sticker to wear as they came through the door so the commission could clearly see the number of objectors. By the time the commission meeting began, the audience was a sea of neon green stickers. And the public officials noticed. “When I came through the door today, I didn’t know that we were going to have this big of a crowd,” said Sheriff Ronnie Strength, the first speaker of the day. “The lady at the door asked, ‘Sheriff, do you want one of these green stickers?’ And I looked in and saw 99 percent of you wearing them and I said, ‘Absolutely.’” The crowd burst into applause. “Our community is no place for this type of business,” Strength said. “Check with North Augusta, and see how proud they are to have that one over there. You won’t hear anything positive from those folks in North Augusta.” Strength was referring to MAE Video, an adult video and bookstore, located on the Aiken-Augusta highway. Strength said Augusta is fortunate not to have such a bookstore within its county limits because these establishments bring more crime to the area. “The type of patrons this business will draw is something like you folks have never seen,” Strength said. “There is (criminal) case, after case, after case in this country linked to pornography. A good example, everybody has heard the name Ted Bundy. Once Ted Bundy was arrested, he confessed that pornography played a major role in his criminal activities.” Strength listed several statistics supporting

his claim, including one FBI study that stated pornography was found at 80 percent of sex crime scenes. “It won’t take but one child or one female to be abducted, raped or killed, and our investigation link this business to that offense, to know that we made a mistake allowing them in our community,” Strength said. “Will you commissioners be criticized if you don’t vote for this business? Yes,” Strength added. “By about five percent of the population.” Strength said that 95 percent of the population in Augusta will support the commission, even if their decision results in a lawsuit from the applicant. “If we get sued, so be it; that’s why we have lawyers,” Strength said in a commanding voice. Immediately, those objecting to the bookstore sprang to their feet, cheering and feverously clapping their hands. Next, Craig, the city’s legal authority, stepped forward. While Craig said that the commissioners couldn’t “squelch freedom of expression,” he insisted they do have “discretion” in this matter. What Craig was referring to was the commission’s ability to consider how this business could adversely impact the surrounding areas such as lowering its tax base or limiting its ability to attract future businesses. “No one should ever tell you or suggest to you that your hands are tied in this matter. You have discretion,” Craig told the commission, as the audience again cheered for the district attorney. Before Maddox, the attorney representing the proposed adult bookstore, even had a chance to speak, Commissioner Andy Cheek made a motion to deny his request. “I had an occasion, several years ago, a call from my pastor to minister to a young man that was victim of behavior in one of these establishments across the river and it turned my stomach,” Cheek said. “I make a motion to deny.” Mayor Bob Young said the commission should at least be give Maddox an opportunity to state his case. As Maddox walked up to the podium, he joked to the crowd, “I suspect the mayor will not have to gavel down your applause at the end of my presentation.” Maddox simply told the audience and commission that he understood the community’s concerns, but that the city had no choice but to follow the law. “Despite what you may think, I’m not a godless Atlanta lawyer. I grew up in the Baptist church,” Maddox said, adding that his own mother would probably be a member of the 225 objectors. “But probably most of the folks here will make absolutely no distinction

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BY STACEY EIDSON

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“This is not an issue about art. This is not an issue about religion. It’s not an issue about free speech. ... It is an issue of how we define this community. How do we want people to view Augusta, Georgia? I say, ‘Not here.’ And in Richmond County, Georgia, ‘Not anywhere.’” - Augusta Mayor Bob Young

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“It won’t take but one child or one female to be abducted, raped or killed, and our investigation link this business to that offense, to know that we made a mistake allowing them in our community.” - Sheriff Ronnie Strength

between sexually explicit (material), pornography and obscenity, but it makes all the difference as far as the United States Constitution and the constitution of the state of Georgia.” Maddox told the audience his clients are not going to be selling anything that is illegal. “It is not illegal in the state of Georgia to sell videos and books which display nudity and sexual content,” Maddox said. “But we have a society that has gotten away with using the word pornographic for anything that involves nudity and sexuality. That’s not what pornography means.” He told the commission that if they follow Craig’s advice, they will be going against their own ordinance. “Mr. Craig is clearly asking the commission to use their discretion to say as a body, ‘We don’t want any bookstores like this proposed bookstore in our county,’” Maddox said. “Commissioners, mayor, that decision has already been made.” Maddox said that in March of 1997 the commission passed an adult entertainment ordinance that specifically states that an adult bookstore is a protected form of speech. “That’s not the Constitution talking; that is this body,” Maddox said. “And your ordinance states that the regulation of a business can’t become so great that it is actually prohibition. “Of course, that’s actually what the sheriff and the district attorney are asking you to do.” Also included in Augusta’s zoning ordinance, Maddox said, was the ability to establish an adult bookstore in a neighborhoodbusiness district or light industrial area. Maddox said the location that his clients chose, in a heavy industrial area, is much less intrusive on the community than what the local ordinance allows. And while the sheriff may not be afraid of lawsuit, Maddox told the commission, if this petition is denied, the sheriff will get his wish. “Commissioners, please understand that while these folks are here and their hearts are in the right place ... you have to make the hard decisions of law,” Maddox said. “And the fact is, my clients have met the requirements that you yourself have set out. “I would encourage you to do the right thing, which may not be the popular thing.” As soon as Maddox was finished, several members of the community and local churches asked to speak to the commission including Mark Harris, pastor of Curtis Baptist Church. Harris came before commissioners last year and convinced them to reject a downtown alcohol license application on Broad Street. The commission’s decision was later taken to court and overturned. Harris told the commission he had interrupted his family’s beach vacation to drive back and make his plea to the board.

“I sat in that chair and listened to the petitioner make his plea of what he was trying to get across. For one fleeting moment I sat there and I thought, if I believe this man, why am I here?” Harris asked. “And if I believe what I’ve been told here today already, why are you, the commission, here? “You’ve been told that decision has already been made. But I submit to you gentlemen the decision must not have been or he (Maddox) wouldn’t be here asking you for an exception.” The crowd exploded into cheers again. Bishop L.A. Green, pastor of the Light of the World Evangelistic Outreach Ministry in Aragon Park, agreed with Harris saying that this wasn’t a fight against one adult bookstore. This was a fight against evil. “Just imagine waking up one morning and hearing, this young girl is missing. And the next morning, this young girl is missing,” Green said. “You mean to tell me that we now are going to allow some sick-minded person to come in our community and start looking at our young girls and boys? ... We’ll fight it until the last person is standing.” The commission didn’t need to hear anymore. Cheek reintroduced his motion to deny the petitioner’s request based on the possibility of the establishment increasing crime and hurting economic development in the area. Commissioner Steve Shepard, who is a local attorney, supported Cheek’s motion, saying, “I signed on to this job to bring this community up, not to bring it down.” The mayor, who pointed out he didn’t have a vote in the matter, also encouraged the commission to reject the petition request. “This is not an issue about art. This is not an issue about religion. It’s not an issue about free speech. ... It is an issue of how we define this community,” Young said. “How do we want people to view Augusta, Georgia? “I say, ‘Not here.’ And in Richmond County, Georgia, ‘Not anywhere.’” The commission voted unanimously to deny the petition for an adult bookstore; however, two commissioners warned the public that the city is going to be in for a fight. “I do have mixed emotions about this,” Commissioner Lee Beard said. “Sometimes you have to follow the procedure that is there and we really need to look into this because it’s a difficult process to have a planning commission tell us that these people meet the requirements and then we have to vote to say that they can’t have it.” Commissioner Willie Mays said he wasn’t scared of facing the petitioners in court, but he hoped that the commission’s vote had enough solid legal footing to support their position. “If you are going to fight, don’t send me into battle with a BB gun against a nuclear weapon,” Mays said. “If you are going to fight, then fight for real.”

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4th of July

S P I R I T

Group Wants To Pull Sunday Cork

BY BRIAN NEILL

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Can Make It Special All Kinds of Fabulous Finds 3626 Walton Way 706.738.6125

! ! ! ! ! ! The Amethyst Project, Inc. An HIV/AIDS Support Alliance invites you to an evening of celebration and sharing

“A Summer’s Night for Living” as we raise funds to benefit

Amethyst Project, Inc. Wednesday, June 26, 2002 1257 Broad St., Augusta, Ga The Marbury Center 6:00-10:00 PM Music, Food, Silent Auction For further information, call (706) 736-1147 or (912) 764-6923

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“We’re All About Living”

n terms of quality and charm, Tina Jordan thinks Aiken’s historic Willcox Inn, of which she’s director of sales, stacks up well against upscale hotels and inns like those in Charleston and various cities throughout South Carolina. There’s just one thing that sometimes turns off an out-of-town visitor: He or she can’t have a beer or cocktail with Sunday dinner. “We have out-of-town guests that we have to explain it to them, because they’re very perplexed on Saturday night at midnight that we’ve closed, or on Sunday that they can’t have a glass of wine with their meal,” Jordan said. “And in fact, we’ve had several that would not stay Sunday night, and drive to Charleston or Hilton Head for that reason, which not only affects us, but from an accommodations tax standpoint, they’re going somewhere else.” So for Jordan, that begs the question: Why not allow Sunday alcohol sales at restaurants in Aiken? Others in Aiken are asking the same question, and are hoping to free themselves from antiquated blue laws prohibiting alcohol sales on Sunday through a petition drive. Organizers are hoping to get a minimum of 2,000 signatures on the petition in order to have the issue put to citizens in the form of a referendum on the November election ballot. “This is also an issue of quality of life,” Jordan said, at a press conference May 13 in front of her historic hotel to announce the petition drive. “Aiken is among the South’s most cosmopolitan small cities, but the current prohibition forces us all to live by antiquated customs. Many of us wish to be able to decide for ourselves what we would enjoy for a relaxing lunch or an evening meal with our families.” Two individuals spearheaded the petition drive: Sam Erb, owner of the Westside Bowery restaurant and bar in Aiken and vice president of finance for the South Carolina Hospitality Association, and Steve Hale, owner of HaleStorm Communications, a public relations and marketing company. Under state law, supporters must get signatures from 10 percent of Aiken’s registered voters on the petition in order to have it placed on the ballot. Hale said that would amount to 1,382 signatures, but because of stringent elections standards and scrutiny, the group is playing it safe by setting 2,000 signatures as its goal. Hale said the group has already collected more than 500 signatures. Erb said the push for Sunday sales amounts to more than just a person’s right to imbibe. When he opened his Westside Bowery 22 years ago, Erb said, Aiken was not exactly a hotbed of activity. “Saturdays, you could shoot a cannon through downtown and not hit anything,” Erb recalled. “And Saturdays now are just extremely busy. It’s one of our busier days.” But on Sundays, some downtown restau-

Steve Hale (left) and Sam Erb give a press conference outside Aiken’s Willcox Inn to announce their petition drive to legalize Sunday alcohol sales at restaurants. rants, including Erb’s, close. Erb said that’s mainly because proprietors know that diners are crossing the river into Augusta where the law allows them to have beer, wine or a cocktail with their meal. Erb thinks allowing Aiken restaurants to serve alcohol to their diners would change that, and might also encourage other types of businesses downtown that also close on Sunday to stay open. The prohibition of Sunday sales in Aiken has its roots in the state’s blue laws, which were enacted years ago in accordance with religious conservatives’ belief that Sundays ought to be for church and not tying one on. According to a recent article in the Denver Business Journal, blue laws date back as far as the 17th century and are so named because they were actually printed on blue paper. Residents in Denver have currently embarked on a similar grassroots campaign to get a Sunday sales referendum placed on their November ballot.

Like many cities in the South, Aiken is no stranger to conservatism and local churches carry much clout. But Erb said he has heard little in the way of opposition to the petition and hopes even those of faith can see beyond their beliefs for the greater good of the community. “I think it goes beyond that,” Erb said. “This is going to help our accommodations tax, our local-option sales tax; it will help our tourism by means of, people will come and actually stay instead of going elsewhere, where they can get a glass of wine or a mimosa with Sunday brunch. “Charleston (where Sunday sales are legal) has a lot of churches and I don’t think church is really an issue. I think it’s more of an economic development issue, and again, increasing our tax base.” Ironically, some Aiken establishments like Whiskey Junction off Whiskey Road, skirt blue laws by implementing memberships. For a nominal fee, $5 or $10 a year in

some instances, membership cardholders of private clubs and bars like Whiskey Junction can drink into the wee hours, even on Sundays. Currently, regular bars and restaurants in Aiken have to stop serving alcohol at midnight on Saturday and cannot serve alcohol again until Monday, Erb said. That, too, would change if Sunday sales were approved, Erb said. “The license-holders for Sunday sales (could) stay open until 2 (a.m.) on Saturdays and then open again on Sunday,” he said. If the measure passed, Erb said it would only impact eating establishments. Grocery and liquor stores would still be unable to sell alcohol on Sunday. Jordan, of the Willcox, said she has heard the argument that allowing alcohol to be served later on Saturday and on Sunday would contribute to more drunk drivers on the road. But she feels the number of drunk drivers on the road is already significant under the current law. “It’s funny; someone had said something to us about the people drinking and driving, like Mothers Against Drunk Driving,” Jordan said. “But the fact of the matter is, people are actually leaving Aiken on Saturday night, driving to another town after they’ve been drinking and then driving back another 15 miles, and then doing the same thing on Sunday.” Should the push for Sunday sales make it to a vote in November, Jordan feels it has a high likelihood of passing. “From all of the responses that we’ve heard, it’s been a very positive feeling,” Jordan said.

HEALTH PAGE Take care of yourself. Let University help. Through a grant from the Avon Breast Cancer Crusade, the University Breast Health Center offers a free mammogram, individual screening and education for women 40 and older who qualify. Call 706/774-4141.

"HealthTalk" is a live call-in radio show featuring local physicians discussing current health issues. Tune in Monday, June 24, at 8:30 a.m., to hear Lynn Tucker, M.D., discuss mammography.

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UNDERSTANDING STROKE

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M E T R O

Charles G. McClure, M.D., Neurologist

“People can modify their lifestyle. If they have diabetes, hypertension, heart disease…they smoke cigarettes, they don’t get enough exercise, they can modify all of those and decrease their risk of stroke.”

University Hospital is the official health care partner of the 2002 Georgia Games Championships.

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Stroke is one of the most frightening medical conditions in the world. But knowing the symptoms and seeking immediate medical care when symptoms occur can help prevent the brain damage stroke can cause. Here's what you need to know to protect yourself.

React quickly when these symptoms occur:

A stroke occurs when the blood supply to the brain is interrupted and brain tissue is deprived of oxygen. Within minutes, brain cells begin to die. Therefore, the immediate medical goal is to remove the blockage and restore blood flow to the brain as soon as possible.

■ Difficulty swallowing

Although stroke is the third leading cause of death in the United States, most strokes are treatable with early intervention. Unfortunately, many patients assume stroke symptoms will pass, so they don’t seek treatment. But waiting generally increases the damage stroke causes.

■ Sudden numbness or weakness of the face, arm or leg ■ Sudden confusion or trouble speaking ■ Sudden trouble seeing ■ Dizziness or sudden trouble walking ■ Sudden severe headache with no known cause Follow these preventive guidelines: ■ Don't smoke. ■ Limit cholesterol and fat. ■ Limit sodium. ■ Exercise regularly. ■ Drink alcohol in moderation, if at all. ■ Maintain a healthy weight. ■ Control diabetes. ■ Have regular medical checkups.

For more information on stroke prevention, for free 24-hour health information or to find a physician, call University's HealthService Center at 706/737-8423 (SER-VICE) or 800/476-7378.

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"Healthy Eyes: Glaucoma and Other Disorders" Presented by Manuel Chaknis, M.D. Thursday, June 20 5:30 p.m. University Hospital Cafeteria Dining Rooms 1-3 Admission including dinner and door prizes is $10. Advance registration is $8. Seniors Club members admitted for $8. Reservations are requested. Call 706/774-8929. Fresh Start Smoking Cessation Program Tuesdays, July 9-30 6-7 p.m. University Hospital Cafeteria No charge Registration is required. Call 706/774-8900. FREE Pulmonary Function Screenings Third Tuesday of each month 1-3 p.m. University Hospital Asthma Clinic Call 706/774-5696. Optifast® Weight Management Information Session Thursdays 5-6 p.m. University Hospital Nutrition Center Registration is requested. Call 706/774-8917.

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FREE Speech and Hearing Screenings University Hospital Speech and Hearing Center Appointments are required. Call 706/774-5777.

Healthy Older Adults

Call 706/738-2580 or 800/4136652 for information on the following programs:

Lunch With the Doctor "Treatment of Strokes in the New Millenium" Presented by Harold McGrade, M.D. Friday, June 21 11:30 a.m. Charlie B’s Restaurant Wheeler Road Dutch treat lunch Registration is required. Breakfast with the Doctor "Questions and Answers for Men and Their Partners" Presented by Richard B. Sasnett Jr., M.D. Program is open to men and women. Thursday, June 27 9 a.m. University Hospital Cafeteria Dining Rooms 1-3 Seniors Club members: free; nonmembers: $3 Registration is required.

HEALTH INFORMATION , CALL

Healthy Women

Cesarean Section Monday, July 15 7-9 p.m. $10

Breast Self-Exam Classes Second Monday of each month 5 p.m. University Breast Health Center No charge Call 706/774-4141.

Weekender Childbirth Preparation Class Friday, 6:30-9:30 p.m.; Saturday, 9 a.m.-5:30 p.m. July 19 and 20 $100

Healthy Parents

All classes are held in the third-floor Women’s Center classroom unless otherwise stated. Registration is required unless otherwise stated.

Introduction to Infant CPR Monday, July 22 6:30-8:30 p.m. $5

Call 706/774-2825 for information or to register for the following classes:

Grandparenting for Expecting Families Sunday, July 28 3-5 p.m. $10

Breast-feeding Thursday, June 20 or July 18 7:30-9:30 p.m. Babies R Us, Bobby Jones Expressway No charge

Healthy Children

FREE Speech and Hearing Screenings University Hospital Speech and Hearing Center Appointments are required. Call 706/774-5777.

Baby School Tuesdays, July 9, 16, 23, 30 7-9 p.m. $50 Women’s Center Tour Thursday, July 11 7-9:30 p.m. No charge

www.universityhealth.org ASK•A•NURSE

737-8423 (SER-VICE)

800/476-7378 (SERV)

TODAY !

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16 M E T R O

The All-Seeing Eye’s Upon Us

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B Y

B R I A N

N E I L L

“If you look at how much of the Communist Manifesto we’ve adopted, it’s frightening. It’s really frightening.” — John J. Campbell, Coordinator for The John Birch Society

n the late 1980s, famed Italian billboards and roadside signs imploring: scholar and novelist Umberto “Get us out of the United Nations.” Eco wrote “Foucault’s But the United Nations is only the tip of Pendulum,” a novel in which the iceberg when it comes to the conspirthree men bite off more than they acies abroad and on our own soil that can chew when they begin to feed Campbell and his group allege are taking bits of information on esoteric place this very moment and threaten our groups like the Masons and security and future. Knights Templar into a computer. Campbell, a John Birch Society coordiAs the story progresses, the men nator for Georgia and Alabama, thinks discover that the the roots of these conspiramembers of these cies are so vast and lie so supposedly extinct deep that he wishes he had secret societies and a few more hours to discuss cabals are still alive and them during a recent stop well, and constitute a he made to speak to a group force greater than ever of members in Augusta. imagined. “We teach the conspiratoListening to John J. rial aspects of history and Campbell talk for only it’s of paramount imporan hour is like a minitance, we feel,” Campbell encapsulation of Eco’s said. “We feel that is one of book. the essential ingredients, He talks of the because there are forces out Illuminati and their there that would seek to centuries-old plan for gain power and wealth at world domination. He the expense of competition speaks of the Council or Constitutionally limited John J. Campbell on Foreign Relations government.” and its plans to usher in The John Birch Society a one-world, totalitarian government. was started in 1958 by Robert Welch, a And he talks about the vast conspiracies businessman with a single burning desire: that have taken place in the name of that the nation’s policymakers would accomplishing this goal, even going so far subscribe to the policy of telling the truth. as to suggest that Pearl Harbor was Welch had a disdain for politicians, not orchestrated by our own government. the least being former President Dwight Campbell is a member of The John D. “Ike” Eisenhower, whose purported Birch Society. military genius and political savvy Welch Some have no doubt seen the group’s assailed in a book titled, “The Politician.”

According to The John Birch Society’s literature, Welch was born in Chowan County, N.C. He was reading by age 3 and entered college at 12. Welch was involved in the candy manufacturing business all of his life, but his true obsession was educating the public on the perils of Communism. To make a long story short, in his pursuit of the preservation of the American Republic, Welch stumbled on the story of John Birch, a Christian missionary who was murdered by the Chinese Communists at the end of World War II. Welch’s fascination with Birch evolved into his writing a book, “The Life of John Birch,” and subsequently forming The John Birch Society. The rest is history — and so much history there is. Campbell and his group believe that this country has abandoned the Constitution in favor of many of Karl Marx’s 10 planks of Communism outlined in his Communist Manifesto. For example, Campbell sees the nation’s public school system as representing the institution of Marx’s tenth plank, advocating free education of children in government schools. The Internal Revenue Service and its annual income tax Campbell sees as the embodiment of the second plank, calling for a progressive, graduated income tax. And the Federal Reserve, Campbell believes, has all the qualities inherent in Marx’s fifth plank calling for the centralization of credit and capital in the hands of the state. “If you look at how much of the

Communist Manifesto we’ve adopted, it’s frightening,” Campbell said. “It’s really frightening.” And if you thought Marx was actually the father of Communism, Campbell has a history lesson for you. “We had a communist community in America when Karl Marx was a 7-yearold school boy in Prussia,” Campbell said, “So he is not the author of Communism. He was hired by a group called the League of the Just or the League of Just Men, which were basically all Illuminati members. “But when he was 7 years old, we had a community called New Harmony, Indiana, that was put together by a guy named Robert Owen. And it failed, as most Communist communities do, and yet he (Owen) refused to accept the fact that it failed due to faults in the system.” Campbell’s story checks out. A historic marker posted on an Internet site devoted to New Harmony shows that two attempts were made at communal living there. The first was from 1814 to 1825, under a Reverend George Rapp. The second was under a philanthropist named Robert Owen and lasted only from 1825 to 1826. Karl Marx was born in 1818 and would have been 7 at the time the community was started. The bizarre thing about Campbell’s group and its beliefs is how intertwined their assertions are with others bandied about by conspiracy theorists in books and on the Internet. For instance, Campbell believes the

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reason the entire industrialized world seems to observe May Day is because it is secretly the international Communist holiday. May 1, Campbell notes, is also the day in 1776 that Adam Weishaupt, a Bavarian professor, formed the Order of Illuminati. Weishaupt comes up a lot in this discussion with Campbell. A subsequent Yahoo search for “Adam Weishaupt” produces nearly 2,000 Internet hits. A lot of people are talking about this guy. The supposed aim of Weishaupt was to create a one-world, secular government, known as a New World Order. Campbell notes that the first public utterance of this term on a grand scale was by former President George Bush during the Persian Gulf conflict. Since then, it has been adopted as a common phrase and seemingly attainable goal by politicians and military strategists, alike. And not surprisingly, perhaps, The John Birch Society believes the United Nations is helping to usher in this New World Order (an ad in the group’s magazine, The New American, addresses the irony in the fact that Syria, Lybia, Iran, Cuba, Iraq and Sudan — all current, good-standing members of the United Nations — are also on the United States’ list of nations sponsoring terrorism). But it gets weirder than this. Reach in your wallet and pull out that $1 bill. Flip it over and look at the phrase inscribed on the banner below the pyramid: Novus Ordo Seclorum. Though many Latin scholars accuse conspiracy theorists of manipulating the phrase’s meaning, Campbell and others believe it translates to “New Secular Order” or “New World Order.” Many have suggested that the uncapped pyramid hovered over by the enigmatic, floating eye on the dollar bill’s seal represents the all-seeing eye of the Illuminati or the “Great Architect” of Freemasonry. Writings on Weishaupt cite his infiltration of Freemason lodges in a quest, which resulted in some degree of success, for converts to the Illuminati. Now, hold on to your hats. In December of 1999, a celebration was planned at the Great Pyramid in Giza, Egypt at which a giant, gold cap stone was to be lowered by helicopter onto the uncapped pyramid in celebration of the new millennium. The event was scrapped in the wake of

public outcry over its pomposity and historians’ concerns that the weight of the cap stone would damage the pyramid. But Illuminati-watchers maintained that this was, without a doubt, to be a blatant signal to all in the movement that the final preparations for the New World Order were in place. Whew. Run to the hills folks. But as kooky as some of this sounds, Campbell certainly seems to have his wits about him and rattles off the names and dates of history like a walking almanac. And while many conspiracy theorists spin their wheels in the past, still trying to figure out what really

Communist, but definitely associated with the Lippo Group, which is halfowned by the Chinese Communists. “And we cannot continue to destroy our economic base and expect stocks to go through the roof.” Campbell would not estimate how many members are enrolled in chapters of The John Birch Society in Georgia and Alabama. A representative at The John Birch Society headquarters in Appleton, Wis., said the group does not keep track of membership numbers. Campbell said the group relies solely on educational campaigns and its magazine

Until those people begin to turn up in greater numbers, however, there are other things Campbell says he’d like to see. “I would love to see a massive, massive investigation done on the Council on Foreign Relations; I would like to see a massive investigation done on the foundations; I would like to see another Senate subcommittee on internal security; I’d like to see a House committee on un-American activities; I would like to see our internal security division replaced in the FBI, in the Justice Department, in the local police department. “We have to have some type of inves-

We have transferred enormous amounts of wealth and technology to the Soviet Empire during the Roosevelt administration, then we transferred enormous amounts of wealth and technology to the Chinese Communist Empire under the Clinton administration.

happened in the back rooms of those ancient secret societies, Campbell and his group are more concerned with recent history and the future. Like our steadily collapsing economy, for instance. “Our economic base is declining. It’s declining by intentional design,” Campbell said. “That’s our point. We have transferred enormous amounts of wealth and technology to the Soviet Empire during the Roosevelt administration, then we transferred enormous amounts of wealth and technology to the Chinese Communist Empire under the Clinton administration. We continue to export jobs under the guise of free trade. We continue to deteriorate our manufacturing base. We gave a trillion-and-a-half-dollar, clean-burning coal monopoly to the Lippo Group out of Indonesia, and that’s John Huang, the guy who worked for Bill Clinton ever since Little Rock, all the way through the White House, and probably a Chinese

to encourage activism. The group also institutes week-long camps for youth ages 14 to 19, teaching them aspects of the Constitution as well as Austrianbased economics, which Campbell says differ from “the John Maynard Keynes, Fabian, socialist, Marxist” school of economics currently taught in the nation’s schools. And contrary to some perceptions, Campbell said, The John Birch Society does not advocate picking up arms, as is the case with various militia groups. The John Birch Society is also not a religious group, nor does it emphasize political affiliation, Campbell said. “We want statesmen,” Campbell said. “We don’t want Republicans, or we don’t want Democrats, or we don’t want Libertarians. We want statesmen. We don’t care what party they run under. “We’re interested in people who support their oath to the Constitution. When they put their hand on that Bible and raise their right hand, we want them to mean it.”

tigative process in order to ferret these people out.” Does that mean a return to McCarthyism? “I wish I had a couple of hours to talk to you about that, but McCarthy has been a victim of this conspiracy,” Campbell said. “I’m not going to address his personal style or the errors he made, but I do want to say, simply, that none of his facts were ever disputed. And the fact that he turned up two Communist cells — the Nathan Gregory Silvermaster cell, which incidentally was part of the signing of the U.N. Charter — and the fact that he turned up the Harold Ware cell in our agriculture department, showed he was on the right track. “We absolutely must have methods of finding these people and ferreting them out, and prosecuting them and incarcerating them. “And if that does not happen, they will do nothing but grow and consolidate their power.”

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SMUT TY

SUMMER

READING By Stacey Eidson Summer is officially here. The temperature outside is unbearable; people everywhere are stripping down to stay cool; and it’s the time of year when many are looking for a little extra romance in their lives. But for those who may be a little lonely under their sheets, The Spirit is offering the next best thing. Love found between the pages of 10 of the latest and most popular romance novels. Some are sexy. Some are sleazy. Some are terribly passionate. And some are simply terrible. But it all depends on the taste of the reader. So, enjoy this summer’s forbidden fruit, available at a bookstore near you.

“Suzanne’s Diary for Nicholas” by James Patterson (Warner Books paperback, 266 pages, $12.95) James Patterson, author of the New York Times bestseller “Kiss the Girls” which was later made into a 1997 motion picture starring Morgan Freeman, has turned his focus from thrilling suspense novels to what is being called the love story of the year by many critics. The leading lady in Patterson’s novel is Katie Wilkinson, a stunning North Carolina farm girl who now lives in Manhattan and is the senior editor of a New York publishing house which specializes in literary novels and poetry. This is where she meets and falls in love with a Boston poet named Matt. For 11 months their relationship is all that she ever dreamed, but one day, Matt suddenly and inexplicably ends their relationship. Katie is devastated because she never questioned Matt’s love and she was actually anticipating a proposal from him soon. Unable to go to work that day, she returns to her apartment to find a package waiting at her doorstep from Matt. Inside is a small, antique looking diary with the words, “Suzanne’s Diary for Nicholas,” handwritten on the front of it. As she opens the diary, she finds a letter from Matt that reads: “No words or actions could begin to tell you what I’m feeling now. I’m so sorry about what I allowed to happen between us. ... You are perfect, wonderful, beautiful. It’s not you. It’s me. Maybe this diary will explain things better than I ever could. If you have the heart, read it. It’s about my wife and son, and me. I will warn you, though, there will be parts that may be hard for you to read. I never expected to fall in love with you, but I did.” With each page, Patterson allows the reader to take the place of Katie while she learns more about the past life of Matt through the heart-wrenching words of his wife, Suzanne.

“To Trust a Stranger” by Karen Robards (Pocket Books hardback, 341 pages, $25) With a love scene that is three chapters long, “To Trust a Stranger” has every right to be on this sizzling summer reading list. But beyond being an extremely descriptive romance writer, Karen Robards is also an excellent storyteller. With her book set in nearby Charleston, S.C., Robards introduces Julie Carlson, a 29-year-old woman whose husband describes her as coming from meager, “trailer trash” beginnings. Her life starts to change after she is crowned Miss South Carolina at 19 and one year later marries a millionaire named John Sidney Carlson IV. Sid is a local contractor with a shady past. His first wife, Kelly, mysteriously disappeared without a trace along with Sid’s best friend Daniel McQuarry. In the beginning of the book, Robards reveals that Daniel and Kelly were executed 15 years ago by Sid’s goons, but Julie is completely unaware of the murders. Her biggest concern is that, after eight years of marriage, she recently found Viagra pills hidden within Sid’s bottle of vitamins and she hasn’t had sex with Sid for more than eight months. So, one night, as she hears her husband sneak out of the house at midnight, Julie decides to follow Sid, but ends up in a dangerous section of downtown Charleston. Her jaguar is stolen and the only person left to help her is a drag queen named Debbie. Julie soon learns that this quirky, bosomy-blonde drag queen is an undercover private investigator named Mac McQuarry. Mac immediately recognizes Julie as the wife of the man who he believes ruined his career with the Charleston P.D. and is responsible for the disappearance of his brother, Daniel. Mac realizes that, by helping Julie find out if Sid is having an affair, he can get closer to the man he thinks killed Daniel. But little does Mac know that Sid has already hired a hit man to assassinate Julie. Instead of being her private investigator, Mac soon finds it hard to concentrate on anything but keeping Julie safe in his arms.

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“Mr. Maybe” by Jane Green (Broadway Book paperback, 357 pages, $11.95) Thank God, “Mr. Maybe” is not your typical romance novel. If you are looking for a romantic story about real people that is absolutely hilarious, there’s no maybe when it comes to reading this book. Libby Mason, a 27year-old publicist for a PR firm in Kilburn, England has a decision to make about her love life – either stick with her current boyfriend, Nick, a struggling writer who rarely has a penny to spare, or pursue a new bachelor named Ed, who just happens to be one of the wealthiest men in England. Libby is not moneyobsessed, but she does have one simple motto: “I don’t mind if he can’t pay for me, but I do bloody well mind if he can’t pay for himself.” And more often than not, Nick leaves her holding the tab. However, from the very beginning of the book, it’s hard for the reader not to fall in love with Nick. He’s the kind of guy who, when Libby and Nick are officially introduced, can still remember exactly what Libby was wearing during a casual encounter two years earlier, right down to the sneakers on her feet. On Nick and Libby’s first date, after a simple cup of coffee in her flat, Nick calmly asks if he could take a bath in her tub. Shocked, Libby reluctantly gives Nick permission, and the next thing she knows he’s stripping in her living room. “Nick starts dancing around the room doing a bloody good imitation of a stripper, except it isn’t sexy, it’s very, very funny,” Green writes. When Libby shyly enters the bathroom, she finds Nick already in the tub with bubble bath spewing over the sides and a plastic shower cap on his head. “If he wasn’t so damn gorgeous, he’d look ridiculous,” Green writes. But within seconds, Libby joins Nick and the fun really begins. “He sits back and picks up the soap again, still looking at me as if to check this is okay ... he very gently starts soaping my arms, my elbows, my hands and sweet Jesus, I never knew how sensual hands could be...” This bath scene ends up being wildly erotic, and yet, Green always makes it a point to keep her characters rooted in real life. So, following the sexy tub scene, Nick isn’t some knight-in-shining armor. Instead, Nick playfully asks Libby to tell him a bedtime story. “Mr. Maybe” is a wonderful tale of extraordinary love in an ordinary life.

“Hazard” by Jo Beverley (Signet paperback, 363 pages, $6.99) Claiming to be “The Most Daring Romance of the Year,” this 2002 book surprisingly contains very few sweaty sheets or moaning-maiden scenes. In fact, this “daring” romance centers around the desires of only two characters: Lady Anne Peckworth, a 21-year-old daughter of a Duke in 19th century England, and Race de Vere, a member of the English Calvary whose father was a carriage maker. The two are from completely opposite social circles and Anne has no intention of giving Race a second look, especially after recently being cast aside by the Earl of Wyvern who ended up marrying his pregnant housekeeper. But as soon as Race enters her stately manor, Anne can’t help but become infatuated with this daringly outspoken and witty young man. One of the most interesting aspects of this novel is the fact that the heroine is no Scarlett O’Hara. Anne was born with a crippled foot and is often pitied by her friends and family, which absolutely infuriates her. But Anne quickly learns Race refuses to coddle her. Instead, he challenges her at every turn. And the fact that her foot is misshapen, only seems to cause Race to hold Anne in even higher regard, as in this one scene where he bends down to help Anne with her foot at a lavish ball. “It occurred to her for the first time that he must finally have had a good look at her ugly, twisted foot,” Beverley writes. “She looked down and met his eyes, his serious eyes. ‘If it wouldn’t embarrass you, Anne, I would kiss it.’ Instead he took her hand. ‘Pretend, if you will, that this is your poor foot.’ His lips pressed, gentle and in some strange way healing. Ridiculous though it was, she felt that if Race de Vere could stroke and kiss her foot it would instantly straighten.” If nothing turns you on more than a guy wanting to bend down and kiss your feet, “Hazard” is the book for you.

“Deadly Embrace” by Jackie Collins (Simon & Schuster hardback, 517 pages, $26) It just wouldn’t be a smutty summer reading list without including the most famous and sometimes called “raunchiest” international romance novelist around, Jackie Collins. With 21 New York Times bestsellers under her belt, Collins recently released what she calls both a prequel and a sequel to her popular novel, “Lethal Seduction.” In this recent book entitled “Deadly Embrace,” Madison Castelli is a well-respected and beautiful young journalist, who is known for writing features about the rich and famous for a magazine called Manhattan Style. Collins’ story begins with Madison’s life falling apart. Her father, Michael Castelli (from “Lethal Seduction”) has been accused of a double murder after his estranged wife (Madison’s stepmother) and her lover are found shot to death in their home. To make matters worse, Madison’s boyfriend, a photographer who had been following a drug cartel in Columbia, has been missing for 10 days. In order to ease her anxiety, Madison decides to fly to Los Angeles to meet her best friend, a famous black radio personality, Natalie De Barge, for dinner. Natalie’s brother, Cole, also comes along for the night out. But before the three can get comfortable at their table, three masked gunmen burst into the restaurant demanding their money and jewelry. The book’s restaurant hold-up scene is said to be based on an actual experience Collins had several years ago when a masked gunman approached her car and demanded money while holding an Uzi to her face. Collins clearly describes the terror of that experience in the opening scene of her book. But while “Deadly Embrace” might sound more like a suspense novel than a romance, never fear; when Jackie Collins lifts up her pen, you can rest assured that someone soon will be dropping their skirt.

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“Blonde Heat” by Susan Johnson (Bantham Books paperback, 280 pages, $6.50) Fantasies, sexual desires, and a summer without inhibitions. That’s basically the theme for Susan Johnson’s latest novel, “Blonde Heat.” This book is about three friends – Serena, Lily and Ceci – who return to their hometown of Ely, a lakeside community, for one last summer together. They have spent the last several years building successful careers and dealing with broken marriages, so it’s now time for a vacation. And the main item on the agenda for the three ladies is sex. Serena, a popular socialite who now lives in Miami, has never really been interested in sex. She admits to her two friends that she just “doesn’t like to get sweaty” and prefers expensive jewelry to wild passion any day. Ceci, a poet, is the exact opposite. She can’t get sweaty fast enough. She recently dumped her boyfriend, Oliver, after he asked if their sex life was good. She told her girlfriends, “If they have to ask, it usually isn’t and it wasn’t.” Ceci manages to convince Serena that she should find a man 25 years or younger to be her boy toy for the summer. Finally Lily, a cable TV star from Chicago, has just divorced her successful husband, Brock. Really, his silly name alone would be enough for most women to call off the marriage, but Lily decided to end the relationship after she learned Brock was having an affair with his secretary. To help Lily get over Brock, Ceci insists that she pursue a much younger hockey player named Billy who spends his summers working at the local hardware store. At first Lily finds the notion ridiculous, but as soon as she sees Billy’s well-toned body, she quickly changes her mind. And Billy, who at age 14 longed for Lily when she was the lake’s lifeguard, seems more than happy to oblige. Simply put, “Blonde Heat” is about the act of sex, talking about sex, joking about sex and enjoying sex. The End.

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“Deadly Desire” by Brenda Joyce (St. Martin’s Paperback, 371 pages, $6.99) This book is one in a series of novels by Brenda Joyce that centers around a young heiress named Francesca Cahill who lives in New York City in the early 1900s. She is the Nancy Drew of romance novels. Unbeknownst to her affluent family, Francesca is a “crime solver extraordinaire,” according to her business cards. Francesca has teamed up with New York City Police Commissioner Rick Bragg to solve many crimes in past Joyce novels, but this time it is different. A member of Rick Bragg’s family is in trouble – his 24-year-old sister, Lucy Bragg, from Paradise, Texas. During a Bragg family reunion in New York, Francesca discovers that Lucy is being followed by a mysterious man who continues to threaten her. When she asks Lucy what the man wants, Lucy refuses to tell Francesca for fear of upsetting her family. But Francesca is determined to get to the bottom of Lucy’s problem because not only is she concerned for Lucy’s welfare, but she is also desperately in love with Lucy’s brother, who Francesca adoringly calls “Bragg.” But there’s one major problem with Francesca’s feeling. Bragg is still married to a woman named Leigh Anne. Francesca knows little about Bragg’s wife, only that Lucy insists that Leigh Anne broke her brother’s heart. While Bragg tells Francesca that his relationship with his wife was based on a lie, he admits that at one time he considered Leigh Anne to be his “most beautiful, perfect little angel.” Despite his past feelings for his wife, Bragg assures Francesca that he is going to get a divorce, so he can be free to love only her. But there’s one more problem in this turbulent romance. Bragg’s half-brother, the arrogant, but extremely powerful Calder Hart is also infatuated with Francesca and is doing everything in his power to keep her and Bragg apart. Somehow, Bragg and Francesca are still able to sneak some passionate alone-time together, as in this one scene on a train: “Bragg pulled her against him, his mouth covering hers,” Joyce writes. “He was all muscle and bone, a man of steel. And the moment she was against him, her body seemed to explode in greed and pleasure.”

“Journey” by Danielle Steel (Dell paperback, 353 pages, $7.99) Not quite as sexually explicit as Jackie Collins’ books, Danielle Steel is said to have brought a touch of class to romance sections everywhere. While Steel also has a new book out this year entitled “The Cottage,” which is the 54th novel of her career, many of her fans insist her earlier novels are still their favorites. The Spirit selected a book Collins wrote two years ago called “Journey” which features an award-winning TV anchorwoman named Madeleine Hunter, who is married to the head of her network, Jack. Maddy was a small-town weather girl in Knoxville, Tenn. when Jack first saw this beautiful 25-year-old woman that he would soon help build into a nationally renowned journalist. But first Jack has to rid Maddy of her abusive husband, Bobby Joe. With a promise of a better life, Jack convinces Maddy to head for Washington D.C., divorce Bobby Joe and marry him. Her life seemed perfect early on in her marriage. She was invited to lavish dinners at the White House and all the major political functions in the city, but after seven years of marriage things aren’t as picturesque as they once appeared. As Maddy becomes more popular on-air, Jack begins to get jealous and bitter of her fame. Maddy quickly finds herself in an abusive relationship much like her first marriage. Jack does not use his fists as weapons like Bobby Joe had, but instead he uses a vicious tongue to tear her down. In a strange turn of events, the president’s wife happens to ask Maddy to join her newly formed Commission on Violence Against Women. During these meetings, Maddy meets Bill Alexander, an educated diplomat who sees the truth behind Maddy’s abusive marriage and is determined to show her the power of her inner strength and the possibility of true love.

“Brides to Be” by Diana Palmer (Silhouette Books paperback, 392 pages, $6.99) If you want to read about virgins struggling with their sexual desires and men playing on their curiosities, you’ll love author Diana Palmer’s view of the world. “Brides to Be” is split into two separate novels, with completely different characters and settings. In Palmer’s book, “Heart of Ice,” Kati James is a romance novelist living in New York, who ventures to a Wyoming ranch to conduct research for her next novel. Kati finds herself cooped up with her college roommate’s eldest brother, Egan Winthrop, a rancher in Wyoming who absolutely despises every aspect of Kati’s career. Egan believes any woman who writes such steamy sex scenes must be dangerously wild and promiscuous. Little does Egan know that Kati is really a virgin who only dreams of having such physical passion ... with him. In Palmer’s other book, “The Australian,” Priscilla Johnson has recently graduated from the University of Hawaii and has decided to return to her adopted home of Australia to become a school teacher. But immediately after stepping off the plane, Priscilla runs face-to-face into a man from her past. Priscilla is also a virgin who has been in love with this Australian cattleman named John Sterling, 10 years her senior, since she was 16 years old. Before she left for college, John surprised Priscilla in her bedroom with one final good-bye kiss and a little bit more. “He bent his head, letting her feel his warm breath on her parted lips,” Palmer writes. “Her body taunted, demanding to feel his against it; her mouth lifted. All her dreams were coming true at once ...” But when Priscilla arrives back in town after five years at college, she finds her beloved Australia the same, but John very different. Both of Palmer’s books go to great lengths to stress how these men with powerful physiques must use every ounce of their strength to keep these women’s purity intact ... at least until the end of the story.

“Indigo After Dark: II. Beyond Sensuous” by Dolores Bundy and Cole Riley (Genesis Press, Inc. paperback, 167 pages, $10.95) On the back of this collection of short stories divided into two sections, “Brown Sugar Diaries” by Dolores Bundy and “The Forbidden Art of Desire” by Cole Riley, is the warning, “Do not read in the presence of someone you wouldn’t want to love.” This book, specifically geared to black readers, is definitely not for those who embarrass easily. The stories are often short on substance, but filled with graphic descriptions of the wild sexual encounters of secret lovers, married couples, exotic dancers and models. In the “Brown Sugar Diaries,” many of the characters enjoy glamorous lives all over the world, such as in the short story, “To Zoe, with Love.” Zoe is a popular recording artist in Brazil who lives in a quaint flat with her devoted drummer named Sandman. A remarkably talented musician, Sandman can somehow play a guitar and sing in the shower while making love to Zoe, as in the following excerpt: “She was a goddess, he thought, carved by the gods as he watched water run through her hair and smooth the ringlets,” Bundy writes. “He draped the guitar over his shoulder, lifted her arms over her head and kissed her neck, breasts and between her thighs... ‘To Zoe, with love...’ he whispered.” This is one of the few printable sentences in this sexual encounter. “Indigo After Dark: II” is meant to add a little spice to your sex life, but for most couples, it may add more playful humor than passion to a romantic night before they turn out the lights.

The Metropolitan Spirit wishes to thank Borders, Books and Music for loaning these 10 books for review.

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.Timm’s chef Dan Perry crafts the finest food on the block from the finest ingredients obtainable. “I make everything, from all my breads, even down to the hot dog buns,” he said. “My dinner rolls are made fresh every single day. “My whole philosophy is to bring the freshest of products, the best foods, that you can acquire on the market and present them with a fresh and different approach on a daily basis.” There is no way to get bored with going to D. Timm’s, because the menu rotates on a regular basis, and varies with the season. Right now, he said, the fare is light and serves as a refresher from the hot ‘n’ heavy atmosphere made by the raw Georgia sun. “In September, the menu will be somewhat heavier,” he said. Perry describes the D. Timm’s style as “global Americana cuisine.” “I’ve got four or five ethnic groups combined with a Southern indigenous touch,” he said. “We’ve got everything from fresh fish, to beefs to lamb, veal – and pastas.” Perry doesn’t do many “cover” dishes. His recipes are his own, and his staff is encouraged to come with variations on those themes. “I only have three or four traditional items,” he said. “My lamb bastille is like no other,” he said. “That dish originated during my apprenticeship days. I made the dish for Ronald Regan.” For nine days in 1981 the Regans visited the estate where Perry worked. The chefs-in-training were required to craft original dishes for the first couple. “I came up with a lamb dish for an evening meal that he had and he absolutely loved it. We put it on the D. Timm’s menu, and the crowd has had an absolutely killer response.” He also makes a gnocchi, or potato dumpling, that his mom taught him. Gnocchi is tossed with pancetta, shallots, scallions and tomatoes in a traditional cream parmesan sauce. And yes, he even makes the pasta, except for the penne for the lunchtime salad. They even make sorbets and ice creams every day. “We have an awesome ice

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S Saattiissff aaccttiio G Gu on uaarraan n ntte ee ed d!! cream machine from Canada that just ... ooh.” He’s obviously tried it himself. The memory has rendered him speechless. As wonderful as Perry’s renderings are, D. Timm’s has more going for it than just the cuisine. There’s a reasonably priced wine list, private upstairs dining rooms which are great for teleconferences, social gatherings, wedding parties – whatever you can imagine. The three private dining rooms can handle from 15 to 120 people. And downstairs, there is jazz. For dinner you get Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express, whose music is like a massage for your brain. Perry also pointed out that D. Timm’s is the only place in town where you can get freshly served jazz for lunch, from Greg Anderson and Frank Simpson. All this while you enjoy the fine refurbishment of a building that still shows its rustic roots in that exposed brick that downtowners so dearly love. And it’s a perfect showcase for the fun expressionist paintings of Perry’s wife, Wendy. D. Timm’s serves lunch Tuesday through Friday, and dinner Tuesday through Saturday. They are located at 302 Sixth Street in downtown Augusta. Call them at (706) 774-9500.

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Arts

& Entertainment

Killer Beaz Coming to Coyote’s

ife’s little absurdities. Most of us have only to endure them. But a guy once known as Truett S. Beasley Jr. has made a career of them. As the story goes, the transformation began decades ago when young Truett picked up a guitar and was struck by the call of the stage. He learned some blues and started spending time in the garage, banging out tunes with his buddies. Whenever he would make magic, they would give him his props by declaring, “That was killer ... Beaz.” You can probably see where this is going. Personally, I think he’s just been exploiting innocent insects all this time, but I’m just a product of my jaded environment. However it all came about, “Killer” caught on and eventually, the name “Truett” slithered away like a silverfish, at least from his professional life, and “Beaz” was bitten by yet another bug. He wanted to make people laugh. An honorable calling. So, as many with a mission do, he went on his quest, and wound up in tiny, beer-sticky places where fellas by the name of Buddy and Junior hung out. Your cousins and mine, in other words, shootin’ pool, drinkin’ beer and showin’ off their tattoos. Places with parking lots that look like Harley Davidson showrooms, and where the echo of country twang rassled with the crack of pool balls. According to the Richard de la Font Agency, those places are known collectively as the chitlin’ circuit. Also according to de la Font, Killer Beaz has slain ‘em in those places 317 times back in the day. But just who is that grinning avenger? Well, he’s a comic with straight-to-the-gut, front porch-settin’ Southern humor. He’s seen fit to grace the pages of Rolling Stone, The Los Angeles Times, Southern Magazine and Creative Loafing. Now, he’s even made it to The Metropolitan Spirit. I’ll bet he’s excited. Oh, and he’s also done that TV and radio thing, with appearances on Entertainment Tonight, The Comedy Channel, Open House Party, CNN’s Showbiz Today and TNN’s

BY RHONDA JONES

Nashville Now. That’s not all of them, but those are the most interesting. A Little Absurdity From the Vault Newspaper and magazine wizards would love it if you believed in that magical place known as The Vault, the repository for all knowledge, whose contents are the santified artifacts of human labor. Guess again. The Vault is code for “look at the useless piece of trivia I found while I was surfing. How can I make it do my bidding?” Behold: a tidbit. According to the Gibson guitar Web site, Beaz used to run into Lynyrd Skynyrd quite a bit while on tour. (They must have been doing the chitlin’ circuit too.) He told them that he played guitar and that he’s love to work with them sometime. A friendship ensued, and one of the guys, Gary Rossington, made a gift to the comic of one of his guitars, a Gibson Les Paul. It became Beaz’s faithful touring companion. Then, in 1997, it was stolen from his van. But, being the type of guy he is – whatever type that may be – he went straight to Gibson’s ancient guitar section to have a new one made. No way he was going to sit in a corner and cry. At the time, according to the Gibson site, the comic was working on a comedy record with Columbia, to include a single titled “If Rap Was for Country Boys.” It turned out well, though. Beaz and Gibson became fast friends (see top photo), with the guitar manufacturer holding guitar givaways at Beaz’s shows. The Recent Buzz According to compendiamusic.com, Beaz has signed on with independent label Compendia Music Group to release a comedy project called “Shaken, Not Stirred.” He’s a man ... he’s a martini! It was released on May 12 and if Beaz makes you giggle, you might oughta check and see if he brought some with him when he comes down. Well, you’ve always been able to get copies that way. Now it’s available at stores nationwide, which is kind of the point. But it might be fun to purchase your copy right from the man responsible for the madness. The show will be at 9 p.m. Doors open at 7 p.m. Tickets are $12 in advance and $15 the day of the show. Questions? Call (706) 560-9245.

COMEDY

Greater Augusta Arts Council Awards

25 M E T R O

t’s time for the 14th annual Greater Augusta Arts Council Awards. The event will be at the Pinnacle Club atop the First Union Bank Building on the 17th floor in the Crystal Room, on June 25. Cocktails are at 6:30, and dinner is served at 7:00. “It’s getting to be, I think, a very coveted award,” said Brenda Durant, executive director of the Greater Augusta Arts Council. “The past two years we got multiple nominations from groups.” The nominees are as follows: Professional: Katherine DeLoach, Augusta Opera; Carolyn Dolen, Augusta Choral Society; Dr. William Toole, Augusta Collegium Musicum; Peter Powlus, The Augusta Ballet. Media: 95 Rock, Beasley Broadcasting; Steven Uhles, The Augusta Chronicle; Augusta Magazine; Lamar Advertising. Sponsor: A.B. Beverage; Coca~Cola; Red Wolf, Inc.; Red Door Designs, Inc.; The Walker Group; Papa John’s. Individual Artist: Dr. Rosalyn Floyd; James W. Garvey; Wayne Hoey; Dr. Porter Stokes. Volunteer: Lisa Baggs, Garden City Music Festival, Arts in the Heart of Augusta Festival; Lisa Bryant, All Greater Augusta Arts Council Events; Mary & Gerry Chambers, Augusta Opera; Audrey Crosby, Lucy Craft Laney Museum; Dr. Alan Drake, The Concert Band, Harry Jacobs Chamber Music Society; Norman Nicholson, Augusta Choral Society. So what makes these folks so special? “The

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committee really looks at them for what they do and how they’ve contributed to the community,” Durant said. “And they do look for a balance, not to have the same person or group win every year. They look for the person who goes above and beyond.” The Lifetime Achievement Award is going to Augusta Opera’s own Ed Bradberry, a real resourceful go-getter whose dictionary was missing the word “can’t.” The public is welcome. Tix can be purchased in advance for $30 at the Arts Council office at Sacred Heart Cultural Center. For info, call 826-4702 or check out the Web site at www.augustaarts.com.

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“Tom Sawyer” Continues To Delight

26 M E T R O

By Lisa Jordan

t seems there’s no better place than the Augusta Museum of History to travel back to the 1840s and visit with a certain mischievous boy. On June 28 and 28, Tom Sawyer will take a muchneeded break from whitewashing fences to make an appearance in Augusta. The Augusta Players Children’s Wing will present the play based on Mark Twain’s (or Samuel Clemens’, if that’s what you prefer to call him) 1876 novel, “The Adventures of Tom Sawyer.” And in addition to Tom, the whole gang will be there: his Aunt Polly, pretty classmate Becky Thatcher, and Tom’s companion in mischief, Huckleberry Finn, a literary celebrity in his own right. In fact, the sales of 1885 “The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn” and “Tom Sawyer” picked up when “Huck Finn” was published with the subtitle “Tom Sawyer’s Comrade.” And more than 100 years after its publication, “Huck Finn” continues to be a hot topic among those wanting to ban books. Those familiar with the story of “Tom Sawyer” – as well as those not-so-familiar with the story – will enjoy Tom and Huck’s adventures: from convincing other kids to tackle Tom’s chores to their flight to an island in the Mississippi, prompting funerals for the boys, at which they show up, astonishing the community. The Children’s Wing will transport you to Tom’s small town on the Mississippi, evoking images of a bygone era and a town lively with colorful characters. They’re set to tackle this American classic at 7 p.m. on June 28 and 7:30 p.m. on June 29. Performances are held in the Augusta Museum of History’s Rotunda. This theatre presentation is perfect for a family outing. Tickets for adults are $8, while tickets for those age 12 and under are just $6. To reserve your tickets, call the Augusta Players at 8264707 or visit them on the Web at www.augustaplayers.com.

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Cinema Movie Listings All About the Benjamins (R) — Ice Cube and Mike Epps risk their necks for $20 million in uncut diamonds and a $60 million lot tery ticket. Cube plays Bucum Jackson, a Miami-based bounty hunter with an at titude. He dreams of opening his own private investigation firm. His latest hunt leads him to old foe Reggie Wright (Epps), a slippery con man. Reggie buys a lottery ticket with numbers supplied to him by his girlfriend (Eva Mendes). Bucum spots Reggie and af ter a way-too-long chase, Reggie escapes. Bucum spots Reggie a few minutes later and the chase is on yet again. Only this time, they both land smack dab in the middle of a multimillion-dollar diamond heist. Ice Cube may be the mastermind behind "All About the Benjamins," but it's Mike Epps who steals the show. Cast: Ice Cube, Mike Epps, Eva Mendes, Tommy Flanagan, Valarie Rae Miller, Roger Guenveur Smith, Lil' Bow Wow, Carmen Chaplin and Anthony Michael Hall. Running time: 1 hr., 30 mins. (McCormick) ★★ Bad Company (PG-13) — It stars schticky Chris Rock and stolid Anthony Hopkins, who seem barely in the same movie. Rock plays a straight-arrow CIA agent named Kevin, whose cover is running an antiques store in Prague. Kevin gets killed on duty and replaced in a rush by identical twin brother Jake, a jokey speed-chess hustler in New York who never knew he had a twin "separated at bir th." His recruiter is Hopkins as the CIA's Gaylord Oakes. It's another cartoon show without animation. This is where James Bond has finally gone for burial. Cast: Anthony Hopkins, Chris Rock, Kerry Washington, Peter Stormare. Running time: 1 hr. 45 mins. (Elliot t) ★ Big Trouble (PG-13) — Tim Allen stars in this ensemble comedy based on columnist Dave Barry’s novel of the same name. The lives of several Miami residents, including a divorced father, a miserable housewife, hitmen, street thugs, lovesick teenagers and two FBI men cross in humorous ways; they’re all tied together by the contents of a mysterious suitcase. Cast: Tim Allen, Zooey Deschanel, Omar Epps, Dennis Farina, Janeane Garofalo, Heavy D, Johnny Knox ville, Jason Lee, Andy Richter, Rene Russo, Tom Sizemore, Stanley Tucci. Blade 2 (R) — Wesley Snipes is Blade. He's a buff leather dude, a half-vampire who hunts vampires with weapons that might give James Bond pause, and with the mar tial moves of a Hong Kong dervish on a spree. There is a vampire aristocracy, their bodies so bleached and pasty you expect them to crumble into talcum powder. And there is a new strain of killer virus monster. Set in a Prague that surpasses Kafka's bad dreams, the movie has a necro-glam ostentation. Kris Kristofferson is Blade's friend, mentor, old daddy-o. The movie is an enjoyable showoff until it turns pompous, runs too long, and tries to find pathos in the decay of the vampire dynasty, as if this were Greek tragedy instead of pop kitsch. Cast: Wesley Snipes, Kris Kristofferson, Ron Perlman, Leonor Varela, Norman Reedus. Running time: 1 hr., 52 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ The Bourne Identity (PG-13) — Bourne (Mat t Damon) was sent to kill a risky African leader on a yacht, had an at tack of qualms, then plunged overboard with holes in his back. He was saved by fishermen, the captain an amateur doctor who pulls the rounds out of Bourne, and ex tracts an implant that has the number of a Swiss bank account. In an identity fog, though now with money and passpor ts, and reflexively gif ted with all his trained skills — his sour CIA boss, Conklin (Chris Cooper), decides to snuf f Bourne as "a malfunctioning $30 million piece of equipment" — Bourne zips to Paris af ter emptying the deposit box in Zurich. "The Bourne Identity" has the

identity of potent enter tainment. Cast: Mat t Damon, Franka Potente, Chris Cooper, Clive Owen, Brian Cox, Julia Stiles. Running time: 2 hrs. (Elliot t) ★★★1/2 Chicken Run (G) — The thought of claymation chickens with British accents may be a bit frightening, but it’s not as scary as the chicken pot pie machine that the owners of Tweedy’s Farm have just bought. Realizing their time may be up, the egg-laying chickens who inhabit the farm devise a plan to escape their murderous fate, helped by Rocky, an American rooster who’s literally fallen into their laps. Plenty of lighthear ted humor throughout. Cast: Mel Gibson, Julia Sawalha, Miranda Richardson, Jane Horrocks. Running time: 1 hr., 24 mins. Clockstoppers (PG) — Mediocrity will have its way. That is always clear at a movie as generic and pigeonholed as "Clockstoppers." Jesse Bradford is Zak, a boy who comes upon a time-travel wristwatch perfected by a snarky teen scientist (French Stewar t, fairly excruciating in comedy). Along with Paula Garces, as a student fresh from South America whose accent wanders through its own time zones, Zak trips around as other people freeze like statues or ooze in slow-mo. The ef fects have modest wow value. ★1/2 Digimon (PG) — Digital monsters (or digimon) hatch from computerized eggs that pop out of users’ floppy drives. They come out cute, but soon morph into awesome and large creatures; when a computer virus infects the digimon, they morph once again into data-eating creatures, ravenous for impor tant files. Their owners must work together to vanquish the virus and restore the world’s valuable information, teaching young moviegoers the value of teamwork and making a dif ference in the world. Cast: Jef f Nimoy, Lara Jill Miller, Joshua Seth, Bob Pappenbrook. Running time: 1 hr., 20 mins.

Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood (PG-13) — Successful playwright Sidda (Sandra

Bullock), in an interview in Time magazine, suggests that her dif ficult childhood was due largely to her mother, Vivi (Ellen Burstyn). An angry phone call and a few let ters later, the two are estranged. Time for the Ya-Ya Sisterhood to step in – four women bound in friendship since girlhood, led by Vivi. They make a secret trip to New York, where, with the aid of Sidda's boy friend Connor (Angus MacFadyen), they drug Sidda, spirit her down south and establish her in an outpost near her family's estate. There she is to pore over their scrapbook, "Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood," af ter which she will understand why her mother can be such an impossible shrew. The "Divine Secret's" mission: a wallow in greeting-card sentimentality, a bath in bathos. Cast: Sandra Bullock, Ellen Burstyn, Fionnula Flanagan, Ashley Judd, Shirley Knight, Maggie Smith, James Garner. Running time: 1 hr., 56 mins. (Salm) ★1/2 Enough (PG-13) — Not even half enough. This dodo is a female empowerment fantasy, without the honest, gal-with-gun pulpness of "Deep in the Hear t." Jennifer Lopez is the betrayed wife who runs scared with her lit tle girl (frequent witness to sadism), then quickly masters mar tial ar ts to clobber the creep (Billy Campbell, who's like Jim Carrey gone very wrong). Michael Apted directed miserably, wasting his talent and Juliet te Lewis, Fred Ward, Bill Cobbs. Running time: 1 hr., 55 mins. (Elliot t) ★ Hollywood Ending (PG-13) — Woody Allen stars as a has-been director longing for a comeback. He gets his chance when, fired from the set of a deodorant commercial, his desperation leads him to a project funded by his producer ex-wife and the studio head she’d had an af fair with. The $60 million blockbuster is sure to be a hit; of course, there’s a catch,

RATINGS

★★★★ — Excellent.

“Scooby Doo”

as Allen becomes psychosomatically blind the night before filming is supposed to star t. Cast: Woody Allen, Tea Leoni, Treat Williams, George Hamilton, Debra Messing, Tif fani-Amber Thiessen. Running time: 1 hr., 54 mins. Insomnia (R) — From Christopher Nolan ("Memento"). LAPD detective Will Dormer (Al Pacino) and his par tner (Mar tin Donovan) travel to Alaska to assist an old pal with a murder case. There's a lurching, Nolanesque vector shif t, and suddenly it's a dif ferent movie, infused with Dormer's exhaustion in the 24hour sunlight. A twisted, vaguely repulsive hack writer/murder suspect (Robin Williams) feeds of f Dormer's growing weakness. With Hilary Swank, sor t of — her character is sorely underwrit ten. Adapted from a 1998 Norwegian film of the same title. Running

★★★— Worthy.

★★ — Mixed.

★ — Poor.

0— Not worthy.

time: 1 hr, 55 mins. (Salm) ★★★ Jason X (R) — The latest in the “Friday the 13th” series, “Jason X” puts a sci-fi spin on a classic horror favorite. In the year 2455, a group of young explorers visits Ear th, which has turned toxic and been abandoned by humanity. They find Jason, cryogenically frozen and spor ting a hockey mask (later replaced by a futuristic-looking metal one), and make the mistake of bringing him on board their spacecraf t. He thaws and silently stalks the crew throughout the ship’s corridors. Plenty of gory special ef fects. Cast: Kane Hodder, Lexa Doig, Peter Mensah, Jonathan Pot ts, Lisa Ryder, Dov Tiefenbach. Running time: 93 minutes. John Q (PG-13) “John Q” is fairly engrossing and fairly bad. John Q's (Denzel Washington) son suddenly collapses at a Lit tle League game, freaking John and

his fiercely commit ted wife, Denise (Kimberley Elise). We know the family is in economic straits, and when the boy is taken to a big Chicago hospital, it turns out that John's medical plan has been cheapened by his employer, and the $250,000 needed for a hear t transplant is not available. Agonized, John takes over the emergency room and some hostages. Despite some brickload dialogue and a music track that of ten seems to have its own agenda, Washington is a great actor. Even when forced into tears, into emotional taf fypulling, he brings weight and depth and dignity to his work. Cast: Rober t Duvall, James Woods, Anne Heche, Kimberley Elise, Eddie Grif fin, Ray Liot ta. Running time: 1 hr., 56 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ Juwanna Mann (PG-13) — Kicked out of the NBA for his outrageous antics, a basketball star, played by Miguel A. Nunez Jr., decides that until he can be reinstated, he will go out for the WNBA. Af ter making the Charlot te Banshees, Juwanna Mann — his newfound identity — learns a lesson in teamwork and what it’s like to be a woman. Cast: Miguel A. Nunez Jr., Vivica A. Fox, Kevin Pollak, Kim Wayans. Lilo & Stitch (PG) — Stitch, Disney’s newest animated character, is one of the gala xy’s most want-

LL A E TH E W N

ed aliens. While being transpor ted to an outer space prison, Stitch’s ship crashes on Ear th. Found by Lilo, a Hawaiian girl, Stitch is mistaken for an ugly dog and uses Lilo’s error as a way to escape from the alien police. Cast: Daveigh Chase, Jason Scot t Lee, Ving Rhames, Chris Sanders. The Lord of the Rings (PG-13) — Simply saying the title is a verbal project. Watching the film for three hours is like hearing Wagner's Ring Cycle remastered by a genius of the kazoo — the concepts remain grandiose, but the music gets rather oopsy. The movie is visually spectacular, a feast from the kitsch kitchen. The story is a quest to return " the ring of power " to its bir thplace "in the fire of Mount Doom." The opening is not a movie launch, it's a franchise arrival, a hugely expensive gamble that the aging Tolkien mob can be whopper-welded to new crowds. The sights are ga-ga, but the story telling gets fairly turgid. As with the last "Star Wars" picture, we detect a team of imagineers stretching their plot like a Goliath of taf fy — tempting us, teasing us, set ting us up for future box-of fice kills. If you just got ta get killed that way, go for it. Cast: Elijah Wood, Ian McKellen,

“Windtalkers”

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30 continued from page 29 Christopher Lee, Viggo Mor tensen, Cate Blanchet t, Sean Astin, Liv Tyler,

M Ian Holm, Sean Bean. Running time: 3 hrs. (Elliot t) ★★ E T Minority Report (PG-13) — "Minority Repor t" is set in a futuristic R Washington, D.C., where police are utilizing a technology that allows them O to detect criminal activity before a crime is actually commit ted. However,

this method back fires on the head of the unit when he is accused of a

S murder he has yet to commit. Cast: Tom Cruise, Colin Farrell, Samantha P I Mor ton, Ma x Von Sydow. R Murder by Numbers (R) — Stars Sandra Bullock as a Nor thern I California homicide detective named Cassie, with a tormented past. She T

has a wiry, noir vulnerability as this cop who tries to be a calloused,

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brusque, sexually available toughie. Ben Chaplin is her new par tner, Sam. They have a brutal case, the " thrill" murder of a young woman. Ryan Gosling plays the pure cynic, a sociopath, and Michael Pit t is the nerd genius. The film moves on formulaic rails. The sado bits include a bizarre monkey moment, and a gaspy precipice clima x that mimics Hitchcock. The more the characters suggest specific humanity — and Bullock does some of her best adult work so far — the more the bland surroundings numb them down, by the numbers. Cast: Sandra Bullock, Ben Chaplin, Ryan Gosling, Michael Pit t, Chris Penn. Running time: 1 hr., 48 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ Panic Room (R) — Not since Hitchcock's "Rear Window" has a New York location been used more suspensefully than in "Panic Room." This New York home is a lavish town house that includes a "panic room," a top-

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floor security crib. Breaking into the seemingly vacant house on a stormy evening are three men who expect an easy job. Most surprised by this intrusion are Jodie Foster and her on-screen daughter, played by Kristen Stewar t. They flee to the panic room to find a phone that doesn't work and watch the frustrated crooks on the security screens. "Panic Room" is a cold sweat, fevered by frantic impulses. It's terrific enter tainment. Cast: Jodie Foster, Forest Whitaker, Dwight Yoakam, Kristen Stewar t, Patrick Bauchau, Jared Leto. Running time: 1 hr. 48 min. ★★★★ Scooby Doo (PG) — is derived from the longest-running TV car toon show (beginning in 1969 on CBS), and is mostly set in an island theme park. The 'toon gang loved by their TV fans — ginchy-dish Daphne, plain but brainy Velma, blond ego dude Fred (author of "Fred on Fred"), grinning par ty dude Shaggy — are now played by actors locked into one-note roles. Great Dane hero dog Scooby appears computer generated. They go to Spooky Island to solve a criminal conspiracy, where special ef fects and cute theme park crit ters whiz by and the top villain is revealed to be ... a puppy. This is one lollipop of a movie, OK for the 4 to 9-year-olds who like the TV show. 1 hr., 23 mins. ★★ The Scorpion King (PG-13) — The Rock (Dwayne Douglas Johnson) plays Mathayus "the Akkadian." Up nor th are hairy Vikings, or Visigoths, or Who, but deser t lands, including sinful Gomorrah, are ruled by the crazed tyrant Memnon (Steven Brand). Mathayus leads the tribal remnant of free humans against him. First, Rock abducts and wins over the mean guy's sorceress (Kelly Hu). She joins him, a camel, a cute scamp, a silly sidekick and a vast dude who should be called the Meat (Michael Clarke Duncan of "The Green Mile"). The movie has epic sand, computerized vistas, harems of buf f women, ex treme violence drycleaned of blood, lines that roll of f the tongue like bricks, and costumes wor thy of an old DeMille show. The pulp purity goes back before silent films and is breezy fun on a toy-macho level. Cast: The Rock, Steven Brand, Michael Clarke Duncan, Kelly Hu, Bernard Hu. Running time: 1 hr., 32 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ Spider-Man (PG-13) — Sweetly dorky Peter Parker (Tobey Maguire) is bit ten by a new form of lab spider on a school trip. He morphs into a speed master with arachnid powers, but keeps his real identity masked from the girl literally nex t door, Mary Jane Watson (Kirsten Dunst). Spider-Man casts webs from his hand, climbs and leaps around New York and bat tles a capitalist nut turned Green Goblin (Willem Dafoe). Always sidelined is the nut's son, Peter's best friend, Harry (James Franco). The film is high-craf ted and amusing, though the POW! style so right for Marvel pages can be numbing in this tech-loaded, hypersonic approach. "Spider-Man" has the heat of a newborn franchise. The costumed hero finally makes a brilliant match with Old Glory, in a gleaming Manhat tan. Cast: Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, Willem Dafoe, James Franco, Clif f Rober tson, Rosemary Harris. Running time: 2 hrs. (Elliot t) ★★★ Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron (G) — A sweetly bland DreamWorks car toon film about a bold horse that runs across much of the Old West, his thoughts spoken by Mat t Damon, his adventures doused in Bryan Adams tunes that are like a floral tribute to Rod Stewar t. The horse action is swif t, and borrowed John Ford bits can mean nothing to modern kids. 1 hr., 25 mins. (Elliot t) ★★1/2 Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones (PG) — This is No. 5 in the series and is visually spectacular (entirely filmed in digital, and projected that way in some theaters). It moves swif tly and has action payof fs, but George Lucas is still a turgid story teller, and stif f dialogue drags the actors down to mere plot function too of ten. Ewan McGregor seems to be coming into his own as wise Obi-Wan. 2 hr., 23 min. (Elliot t) ★★1/2 The Sum of All Fears (PG-13) — Another morbid Tom Clancy nightmare of big power and dire danger (the nuclear devil unleashed), with a trivial romance trampled by politics and spy games. Phil Alden Robinson directed with spruce if pompous flair, and the nerve-raked cast has Ben Affleck as the hero, Morgan Freeman, Alan Bates, James Cromwell, Liev Schreiber and (ace as the Russian prez) Ciaran Hinds. 2 hrs. (Elliot t) ★★★ Undercover Brother (PG-13) — The source was a Web comedy site, and it's a derivation of old bla xploiters, "In Living Color" and the Austin Powers goofs, but this lampoon of black heroics is funny in a pumped-up way. Eddie Griffin wears the power Afro as the main bro, and Malcolm D. Lee also got good stuff from Chris Kat tan, Denise Richards, Dave Chappelle, Aunjanue Ellis and Billy Dee Williams as a Colin Powell-like general who wants to be the new Col. Sanders. 1 hr., 26 mins. (Elliot t) ★★★ We Were Soldiers (R) — is an at tempt to jump over the politics of the Vietnam War and say quite plainly: Here are the soldiers, here is how they fought and of ten died. Here is their courage and agony. The chief star on that flag is Mel Gibson as Lt. Col. Harold G. Moore. Backed by a pistolusing, WWII ramrod, Sgt. Maj. Basil Plumley (Sam Elliot t), Moore pensively trains the 7th Air Cavalry troops. His "shock troops" were soon shocked. In 1965, they were choppered into the Ia Drang Valley right on top of a tough Nor th Vietnamese force, and the mutual carnage began. It's a horrifying but gripping movie. A lit tle piously, the grand pride of soldierly unity is here. So is the awfulness of war. They stand together, brothers in arms. Cast: Mel Gibson, Madeleine Stowe, Greg Kinnear, Sam Elliot t, Barry Pepper, Keri Russell. Running time: 2 hrs., 16 mins. (Elliot t) ★★★1/2 Windtalkers (R) — The core of it is about the Navajo "code talkers," some 400 men who confounded the Japanese by speaking radio code in Navajo. Of course, in a racist era, they had to face white bigotry as well as the enemy. Adam Beach, a strong presence with a boyish grin, plays Ben Yahzee, code volunteer. Nicolas Cage is Joe Enders, patched-up war dog assigned to protect Ben and, if he faces capture, kill him — also the secret order to Ox (Christian Slater), whose code man is Charlie (Roger Willie). The rest of the Marines unit sent to murderous Saipan in 1944 is much like the old studio ethnic squads of 1944 Hollywood. "Windtalkers" depicts bravery, sacrifice, honor and horror. But the moments of uplif t are like confet ti in a morgue. Cast: Nicolas Cage, Mark Ruf falo, Adam Beach, Peter Stormare, Noah Emmerich, Christian Slater, Frances O'Connor, Roger Willie. Running time: 2 hrs., 8 min. (Elliot t) ★★ —Capsules compiled from movie reviews written by David Elliott, film critic for The San Diego Union-Tribune and other staff writers.

Cinema: Review

“Minority Report” Steals the Summer By Rachel Deahl

f Steven Spielberg lost a few fans from his high-concept, high-tech summer blockbuster of last year, “A.I.,” Hollywood’s grown-up boy wonder has more than made amends with “Minority Report.” A dazzling and bravura spectacle as thrilling to watch as it is to digest, “Minority Report” is officially the best movie of the summer and perhaps the finest sci-fi film since “The Matrix.” Making good on the best aspects of “A.I.,” namely that stark and singular look of a future dominated but not quite overwhelmed by technology, Spielberg creates a stunning world where the past and present collide. Based on a short story by the popular (and recently deceased) science fiction author Phillip K. Dick, “Minority Report” is set in Washington, D.C., in the year 2054. It is there that John Anderton (Tom Cruise) heads up a recently developed wing of the Justice Department called the Pre-Crime Unit. Having essentially eliminated the act of murder, Pre-Crime uses the power of three unique psychics called Pre-Cogs to convict would-be, or rather “will-be,” killers before they commit their crimes. Harnessing the visions of the Pre-Cogs (who lie in a chamber called the Temple, suspended in a pool of fluid with electrodes attached to their brains), the Pre-Crime division is literally played the scene of a murder before it actually happens and given the names of both the victim and killer—the key is for them to get there in time. Under a critical national review, the PreCrime unit is on the verge of becoming the generalized method of crime-fighting. Coming in from the district attorney’s office to evaluate the program is Danny Witwer (up-and-coming star, Colin Farrell). Questioning the morality and legitimacy of a system that relies entirely on the notion of predetermination, Danny is looking for a glitch in the program. That glitch comes in spades when John transmits the vision a future murder that he is supposed to commit. Quickly turning from top cop to enemy No. 1, John is forced to go on the lam in order to figure out who framed him or, perhaps, why he is going to kill a man he’s never known until today. Addled by a secret drug addiction and haunted by the death of his son and subsequent collapse of his marriage, John is on the run to put the pieces of his life back together and save his neck in the process. Much more than a simple scenario of hunter becoming the hunted, “Minority Report” combines the best elements of science fiction, mysteries, thrillers and chase films. With just enough plot twists and turns to keep audiences alert without making them confused, “Minority Report” maintains a perfect pace and balance throughout. Aided by Dick’s wildly inventive source material, Spielberg is given the perfect jumping-off point for his filmmaking. Expanding on the fascinating premise of a world controlled by a pre-emptive system of crime and punishment, Spielberg’s film is full of wonderful nods to a society that gives you what you want before you

even know you want it. Overflowing with brand identifications and nods, Spielberg showcases his genius as a filmmaker here with his vision of futuristic advertising. Since people are identified everywhere they go in this world by their eyes (the retinas are constantly scanned for identification), billboards can actually speak to passers-by and customize their slogans. In one of many great scenes, Anderton is walking through a mall and goes by a multitude of ads, each one calling out his name and pitching specifically to him—”John Anderton, you need a Guinness; John Anderton, card member since 2032; John Anderton, get away to the Bahamas.” Reminiscent of the wonderful play on commercialism and corporatization Spielberg evoked in Jurassic Park (there, the director placed the titular theme park logo on familiar objects like cups and T-shirts throughout, reminding viewers that dinosaurs weren’t the only things being mass-produced in and by his film), “Minority Report” also delivers a fiendishly fun yet caustic view of our brand-name society. Advertising aside, “Minority Report” is also stocked with heart-stopping chase scenes and thrilling special effects—be alert for Cruise’s unique car-hopping scene (on a highway which runs vertical instead of horizontal) and those wonderful guns that seem to ripple the entire screen like a wave. Having apparently brought together a group of unique experts, ranging from M.I.T. scientists to sci-fi authors like Douglas Coupland, in order to get input on what the world of “Minority Report” should look like, Spielberg’s extensive homework paid off. It’s safe to say that summer does not belong to a young Jedi after all, but instead, to a fallen cop on the lam.

Movie Clock REGAL AUGUSTA EXCHANGE 20 Movies Good 6/21 - 6/27 Lilo & Stitch (PG) Fri-Sat: 12:10, 12:40, 2:20, 2:50, 4:30, 5:00, 7:10, 7:30, 9:15, 9:35, 11:30, 12:00; Sun-Thur: 12:10, 12:40, 2:20, 2:50, 4:30, 5:00, 7:10, 7:30, 9:15, 9:35 Minority Report (PG-13) 12:00, 12:30, 3:15, 3:45, 7:00, 7:20, 10:10, 10:25 Juwanna Mann (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 12:20, 2:30, 4:45, 7:25, 10:20, 12:20; Sun-Thur: 12:20, 2:30, 4:45, 7:25, 10:20 Scooby Doo (PG) Fri-Sat: 12:25, 12:55, 2:40, 3:10, 4:40, 5:10, 7:00, 7:30, 9:10, 9:40, 11:30, 12:05; Sun-Thur: 12:25, 12:55, 2:40, 3:10, 4:40, 5:10, 7:00, 7:30, 9:10, 9:40 The Bourne Identity (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 12:15, 12:45, 3:25, 3:50, 6:45, 7:05, 9:35, 10:05, 12:35; Sun-Thur: 12:15, 12:45, 3:25, 3:50, 6:45, 7:05, 9:35, 10:05 Windtalkers (R) Fri-Sat: 12:10, 12:35, 3:10, 3:45, 6:40, 7:00, 9:45, 10:15, 12:40; SunThur: 12:10, 12:35, 3:10, 3:45, 6:40, 7:00, 9:45, 10:15 Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood (PG13) Fri-Sat: 12:25, 4:15, 6:55, 9:45, 12:25; Sun-Thur: 12:25, 4:15, 6:55, 9:45 Bad Company (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 12:05, 3:35, 6:55, 9:50, 12:30; Sun-Thur: 12:05, 3:35, 6:55, 9:50 Sum of All Fears (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 1:15, 1:40, 4:10, 4:40, 7:05, 7:35, 9:40, 10:30, 12:25; Sun-Thur: 1:15, 1:40, 4:10, 4:40, 7:05, 7:35, 9:40, 10:30 Undercover Brother (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 12:05, 2:20, 4:50, 7:15, 9:30, 11:45; Sun-Thur: 12:05, 2:20, 4:50, 7:15, 9:30 Insomnia (R) 12:00, 2:40, 5:20, 8:00, 10:40 Enough (PG-13) 7:40, 10:35 Spirit (G) 12:15, 2:25, 4:35 Star Wars Episode II (PG) 1:10, 4:20, 7:30, 10:45 Spider-Man (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 1:00, 4:00, 6:40, 9:30, 12:20; Sun-Thur: 1:00, 4:00, 6:40, 9:30 EVANS 12 CINEMAS Movies Good 6/21 - 6/27 Lilo & Stitch (PG) 12:30, 1:30, 2:30, 3:30, 4:30, 5:30, 6:30, 7:30, 8:30 Minority Report (PG-13) 1:00, 4:00, 7:00, 10:00

Juwanna Mann (PG-13) 12:55, 3:00, 5:05, 7:10, 9:15 The Bourne Identity (PG-13) 2:20, 4:50, 7:25, 9:50 Windtalkers (R) 1:10, 4:10, 6:55, 9:35 Scooby Doo (PG) 12:45, 1:45, 2:45, 3:45, 4:45, 5:45, 6:45, 7:45, 8:45 Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood (PG13) 2:10, 4:40, 7:20, 9:45 Bad Company (PG-13) 9:30 Chicken Run (G) Tues, Thurs: 10:30 a.m. Digimon (PG) Tues, Thurs: 10:30 a.m. Sum of All Fears (PG-13) 1:35, 4:35, 7:35, 10:05 Undercover Brother (PG-13) 9:40 Star Wars Episode II (PG) 1:05, 4:05, 7:05, 9:55 Spider-Man (PG-13) 1:15, 4:15, 7:15, 9:45 MASTERS 7 CINEMAS Movies Good 6/21 - 6/27 Lilo & Stitch (PG) 1:20, 3:20, 5:20, 7:20, 9:20 Minority Report (PG-13) 1:00, 4:00, 7:00, 9:50 Scooby Doo (PG) 1:10, 3:10, 5:10, 7:10, 9:10 The Bourne Identity (PG-13) 1:30, 4:30, 7:30, 9:55 Windtalkers (R) 1:05, 4:05, 7:05, 9:40 Scooby Doo (PG) 1:15, 3:15, 5:15, 7:15, 9:15 Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood (PG13) 1:15, 4:15, 7:15, 9:35 Sum of All Fears (PG-13) 1:25, 4:20, 7:10, 9:45 REGAL 12 CINEMAS Movies Good 6/21 - 6/27 Holly wood Ending (PG-13) 2:15, 4:35, 7:25, 10:00 Clockstoppers (PG) 2:40, 5:15, 7:40, 10:05 Panic Room (R) 2:00, 4:40, 7:15, 9:55 Jason X (R) 2:10, 4:55, 7:35, 9:50 Big Trouble (PG-13) 2:20, 4:45, 7:05, 9:30 Murder by Numbers (R) 1:55, 4:30, 7:10, 9:40 The Scorpion King (PG-13) 2:35, 4:55, 7:00, 9:35 Blade 2 (R) 2:25, 4:50, 7:20, 9:45 We Were Soldiers (R) 2:00, 5:00, 7:45 All About the Benjamins (R) 2:30, 5:10, 8:00, 10:10 John Q (PG-13) 2:05, 5:05, 7:30, 10:00 The Lord of the Rings (PG-13) 1:50, 5:00, 8:15

Movie listings are subject to change without notice.

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Days A Week

Arts

Auditions DANCERS, ACTORS AND SINGERS WANTED for the Aiken Community Playhouse production of “West Side Story.” Auditions held June 23-24 at 7 p.m.; callbacks June 27 at 7 p.m. Held at USC-Aiken’s Etherredge Center, Room 125. Males, 13-60 years, and females, 13-30 years, needed, especially Hispanic and Hispanic-looking actors. Please bring a prepared song; accompanist and tape player will be provided. Script reading and dance audition required. Also, there is a need for backstage and technical production suppor t. Call Bradley Wat ts at (803) 6480652 for more information. THE AUGUSTA PLAYERS will hold auditions for “The King and I” June 25, July 11, 20 and 25. All auditions held at 7 p.m., except July 20 auditions, which will be held at 10 a.m. and are the only auditions open to children as well as adults. Held at St. John United Methodist Church. Audition consists of a prepared vocal solo and a cold reading. Accompanist provided. Per formance dates scheduled for September 25-29. Call 826-4707 for more information. THE AUGUSTA CONCERT BAND holds auditions for new members by appointment. To schedule, call 202-0091.

Education WORKSHOPS AT THE GERTRUDE HERBERT INSTITUTE OF ART: “Painting with Paper: Four Approaches to Collage” adult/teen workshop June 24-27, 10:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m., $80; “Acr ylic Painting: Still Life with Fruit and Glass” adult workshop June 25-27, 9:30 a.m.-3 p.m., $110. To register, phone 722-5495. SCR APBOOKING WORKSHOP at the H.O. Weeks Center. Held through July. Morning classes 9 a.m. to noon the second Thursday of the month; evening classes are 6-9 p.m. the second Tuesday of the month. $10 per class for Aiken City residents. Preregistration is required. Call (803) 642-7631.

Exhibitions

AT THE MARY PAULINE GALLERY through July 27: Lanny Webb Exhibition, Front Gallery; Summer Group Exhibition, Rear Gallery. Call 724-9542 or visit www.marypaulinegallery.com for details. “OVER THE LINE: THE ART AND LIFE OF JACOB LAWRENCE” exhibit through September 8 at the High Museum of Ar t in Atlanta. For more information, call (404) 733-HIGH or visit www.high.org on the Web. FINE ARTS EXHIBITION through July 28 at the Lucy Craf t Laney Museum of Black History. Features works by the Benedict College Ar t Faculty. Call 724-3576 for more information.

DONNA WHALEY AND K ATHERINE KING will ex hibi t their work at the Sacred Hear t Cul tural Center during the month of June. Call 733-2788 for more information.

ELAINE ERGLE exhibits her work at Borders Books and Music through the end of June. Upcoming exhibits include: Daniel Hayes in July, Tom Klose in August, Carl Purdy in September, Alex McCain in October and Rober t Lee in November. Call Borders Books and Music at 737-6962 for more information. AT THE GEORGIA MUSEUM OF ART in Athens: “From Fauvism to Impressionism: Alber t Marquet, an Exhibition from the Centre Pompidou in Paris” through July 7; “From Heroes to Dudes” through July 21; “Lucy May Stanton” through July 21. For more information, call (706) 542-4662. WORKS BY RUSS BONIN will be on display at the Savage Galler y and Studio through June 29. The Savage Galler y and Studio is located at 1337 Jackson Road in Augusta. Phone 736-3336 or e-mail savagegaller y@yahoo.com for more information. WORKS BY MARYANNE KELLY HAND now on display at the Southeastern Neuroscience Building on Roy Road of f Wheeler Road. Held through the summer. For more information, contact Mar yanne Kelly Hand at 667-6622.

Dance SINGLES DANCE each Saturday night from 8-11 p.m. is sponsored by the Christian Social Organization for Single Adults. Held at Westside High School on Stelling Road. Tickets available at the door; free dance lessons available at 7 p.m. For more information, call 278-6422.

Music ATHFEST 2002 will be held June 20-23 at various venues in Athens, Ga. Features live per formances, club crawl, juried ar tist market, gallery walk, KidsFest, panels, Flagpole Magazine Athens Music Awards and more. For information, call (706) 548-1973 or visit www.athfest.com. LOCOBAZOOK A TOUR July 6 at the Augusta Exchange Club Fairgrounds features Filter, Sevendust, Nonpoint, Mushroomhead, Mad at Gravit y, Audiovent, Reveille, Dragpipe, Breaking Point, local bands and more. Gates open at 10 a.m. and tickets are $20 in advance, $25 the day of the show. All ages admit ted, but only those 21 and over with ID may buy alcohol. Tickets available at www.ETIX.com or by phone at 1-866-866-9938. KEITH GEHLE per forms classical guitar music June 25 as par t of the Evenings in the Appleby Garden program at the Appleby Branch Library. Show begins at 8 p.m. 736-6244. CONCERTS AND ART IN THE PARK at Creighton Living History Park in Nor th Augusta. June 20 features Shibin; June 27, the For t Gordon Signal Corps Concer t

“ABCD: A Collection of Art Brut” will run until Aug. 24 at the High Museum. This particular image is called “Christoph Columbus,” and was made in 1930 by Adolf Wolfli. It is graphite and colored pencil on paper, 12 5/8 by 8 1/6 inches, and is part of the ABCD Collection. Band; July 11, the First Baptist Church of Nor th Augusta Orchestra; July 25, Sophisticated Swing Big Band. Concer ts begin at 7 p.m., except July 25 show, which begins at 8 p.m. Bring a picnic and lawn chairs or blankets to this free show. (803) 442-7588. HOPELANDS SUMMER CONCERT SERIES continues June 24 with the For t Gordon Army Jazz Band. Begins 7 p.m. at Hopeland Gardens in Aiken. For rain information and for those who need special assistance or accommodations, call 642-7631. JAZZ CANDLELIGHT CONCERT SERIES continues on the Eighth Street Bulkhead of River walk ever y Sunday in June. June 23, Quiet Storm; June 30, the C. Anthony Carpenter Project with Ari Brown.

Per formances from 8-9:30 p.m.; bring picnic baskets, candles, blankets and lawn chairs. $5 admission. Call River walk Special Events for more information at 821-1754.

Theater “A MIDSUMMER NIGHT’S DREAM” June 20-23 in Dunwoody, Ga. All per formances at 8 p.m., except June 23 per formance, which will be at 2:30 p.m. Tickets are $18 adults, $16 students and seniors and $10 for children under 12. All seating is reser ved. Call (770) 396-1726. “TOM SAWYER” will be presented June 28-29 by The Augusta Players Children’s Wing. Held in the

“THE HOUSEKEEPER” will be presented June 22 at 7 p.m. at the Savannah Lakes Resor t on Lake Thurmond. Show and buf fet dinner is $29.50; “Make a Night of It” package includes dinner theatre for t wo and a water front lodge room for $109.50. Advance reser vations required and can be made by calling 1-800-544-8912. “STEPHEN KING’S MISERY” will be presented June 21-22 and 28-29 at the Abbeville Opera House in Abbeville, S.C. For tickets, call (864) 459-2157. THE JEKYLL ISLAND MUSICAL THEATRE presents three plays in rotating reper tory through July 28 at the Jekyll Island Amphitheatre in Jekyll Island, Ga. “HONK!”, “Oklahoma!” and “1776” will be presented. Call (912) 635-4060 for details. MURDER AT THE PARTRIDGE INN SERIES PERFORMANCE June 23. Tickets are $35 per person and include grand dinner buf fet at 7:30 p.m. Show star ts at 8. For reservation information, call the Par tridge Inn at 737-8888, ex t. 201.

Attractions RIVERBANKS ZOO AND GARDEN EXTENDED HOURS: On weekends, Riverbanks’ admission gates open at 9 a.m. and close at 5 p.m., though visitors may stay in the park until 6 p.m. Weekday admission is from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. Regular admission is $7.25 for adults and $4.75 for children ages 3-12. For information, call (803) 779-8717 or visit their Web site at www.riverbanks.org. THE BOYHOOD HOME OF WOODROW WILSON: Circa 1859 Presby terian manse occupied by the family of President Woodrow Wilson as a child during the Civil War and Reconstruction. Original and period antiques, restored house, kitchen and carriage house, located at 419 Seventh Street. Open 10 a.m. 5 p.m., Tuesday through Saturday. Tours are available. Tours for groups of 10 or more by appointment only. Admission is $5 for adults, $4 for seniors, $3 for students under 18 and free for ages five and under. For more information, call 722-9828. AUGUSTA GOLF & GARDENS OF THE GEORGIA GOLF HALL OF FAME features beautiful display gardens, as well as bronze sculptures of some of golf’s greatest masters. Available for rent for a variety of functions, including weddings, receptions, photo sessions, business lunches, cock tail par ties, bir thday par ties and more. Group discount rates are available. Closed on Mondays; open from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Tuesday through Saturday; open from 1 to 5 p.m. on Sunday. Admission is $5.50 for adults; $4.50 for students, seniors and military; $3.50 for children (4 to 12); free for children 3 under. Sundays are two for one with a Super Sunday coupon. Annual garden memberships are available. For more information, call 724-4443 or 1-888-874-4443. Also, visit their Web site at www.gghf.org. FORT DISCOVERY/NATIONAL SCIENCE CENTER: Children and adults alike can immerse themselves in the wonders of science through live demonstrations, vir tual realities, Starlab, KidScape and more than 270 hands-on exhibits. General Admission: $8 for adults; $6 for children, seniors and active military. Group rates available. Members enter free. Half-price admission daily af ter 3 p.m. Operating hours: MondaySaturday, 10 a.m. 5 p.m.; Sunday, noon-5 p.m. For information call 821-0200, 1-800-325-5445 or visit their Web site at www.NationalScienceCenter.org. REDCLIFFE STATE HISTORIC SITE: 1859 mansion of S.C. Governor James Henry Hammond, held by the family for three generations until 1975. Hours are 9 a.m.-6 p.m., Thursday-Monday on the grounds. House tours are noon-3 p.m. by appointment. Closed Tuesday and Wednesday. Admission to the grounds is free. Fee for house tours is $3 for adults and children ages 6 to 17. For more information, call (803) 8271473. Located at 181 Redclif fe Road, Beech Island, S.C., 29842. SACRED HEART CULTUR AL CENTER is of fering tours of its 100-year-old building. Mon.-Fri., 9 a.m.-5 p.m. $1 per person, children free. 826-4700. HISTORIC COTTON EXCHANGE WELCOME CENTER: Open Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.-6 p.m.; Sun. 1-5 p.m. Riverwalk. Free. 724-4067. THE EZEKIEL HARRIS HOUSE: Deemed “the finest

18th centur y house sur viving in Georgia” by the “Smithsonian Guide to Historic America.” Hours are Saturday, 10 a.m.-1 p.m. Other times by appointment. General admission is $2; senior admission is $1 and children get in for 50 cents. For more information, call 724-0436.

THE RAVEN'S HOARD JEWELRY GALLERY

10 Anniversary th

Museums SOUTHERN MODERNISM DISCUSSION with Starkey Fly the and Philip Morsberger, 7 p.m. June 20 at the Morris Museum of Ar t. Wine and cheese reception to follow. Reservations accepted: $3 adults, $2 seniors/military/students. 724-7501. LUNCH AT NOON LECTURE SERIES held the second Wednesday of every month at the Lucy Craf t Laney Museum of Black History, 11:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Call the museum at 724-3576 for more information. COLUMBIA MUSEUM OF ART GALLERY TALKS: Harr y Hansen, June 22, 2 p.m.; Toni Elkins, July 13, 1 p.m.; Claire K. Farrell, July 21, 1:30 p.m.; Angela Bradburn, August 3, 1 p.m. Watercolor demonstration by Harr y Hansen June 23 at 2 p.m. For more information, contact the Columbia Museum of Ar t at (803) 799-2810 or visit www.columbiamuseum.org on the Web.

EVENTS AT THE AUGUSTA MUSEUM OF HISTORY: June film is ‘Vanishing Georgia,” playing continuously in the History Theater and is free with admission; June special exhibition is “Mark Catesby’s Natural History of the Southern Colonies, 1722-1726.” Please call 722-8454 for more information or visit www.augustamuseum.org.

50% Off Selected Items

MASTERWORKS OF SOUTHERN ART TOUR 2 p.m. June 30 at the Morris Museum of Ar t. Call 724-7501.

THE RAVEN'S HOARD

“THE TIES THAT BIND” African-American Ar t and Heritage Tour Program is available to students in grades 3-12. Prior to touring the Morris Museum of Ar t, a museum docent visits students in their classroom and provides a slide orientation. The program is available year-round, Tuesday-Friday, and must be scheduled at least two weeks in advance. Call the Morris Museum of Ar t at 724-7501 or visit the museum Web site at www.themorris.org.

131-12TH STREET DOWNTOWN AUGUSTA 724-3830

AUGUSTA MUSEUM OF HISTORY, 560 Reynolds St., Augusta. Permanent exhibitions include the awardwinning “Augusta’s Story” — 12,000 years of local history from early Indians through Susan Still’s 1997 space shut tle missions. Other at tractions include the community’s medical history, a restored 1917 steam locomotive and a reconstructed 1930s gas station; documentaries shown continuously in the History Theatre. Young people will enjoy the Susan L. Still Children’s Discovery Gallery. Admission is $4 for adults, $3 for seniors and $2 for children; children under 6 are free. Free admission on Sundays. Open 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Tuesday-Saturday, 1 p.m. to 5 p.m. Sunday; closed Mondays. 722-8454.

Fat Jazz and a Fabulous Old Building

New Summer Menu

THE LUCY CR AFT LANEY MUSEUM OF BLACK HISTORY is located at 1116 Phillips St. The museum plays host to ar t exhibits, senior luncheons, youth leadership programs, ar t and history programs and more. Its hours of operation are 2 to 5 p.m. on Sundays, closed on Mondays, 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. on Tuesday through Friday, and 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. on Saturday. For more information, call 724-3576 or see their Web site at www.lucycraf tlaneymuseum.com.

Lunch & Dinner Cool down with hot sounds D. TIMM’S JAZZ CAFE

NATIONAL WILD TURKEY FEDER ATION’S WILD TURKEY CENTER AND MUSEUM: 770 Augusta Highway, Edgefield. State-of-the-ar t museum celebrates the comeback of the wild turkey and features the role hunters and conservationists played in the wildlife success story. New legacy sculpture and garden; Outdoor Education Center; managing land for wildlife demonstrations; wetland habitat site and pavilion. Self-guided tours Monday through Friday from 8:30 a.m. to 5 p.m.; guided group weekend tours by appointment. Donation appreciated. On the Web at www.nw t f.org; (803) 637-3106.

LIVE JAZZ AT LUNCH

Tues - Fri Nightly Jazz Tues - Sat, Beginning at 7 pm

THE SIGNAL CORPS MUSEUM The museum is in Conrad Hall, Building 29807, nex t to the Signal Towers on For t Gordon. Its hours of operation are 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. on Tuesday through Friday and 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. on Saturday. For more information, call 791-2818.

GERTRUDE HERBERT INSTITUTE OF ART, located on the corner of Fif th and Telfair Street, is housed in historic Ware’s Folly. The Institute exhibits contemporary ar t in its gallery and presents ar t classes for children,

S P I R I T J U N E

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“MODERNISM IN THE SOUTH” EXHIBIT TOUR June 23, 2 p.m. at the Morris Museum of Ar t. Free. 724-7501.

AIKEN COUNTY HISTORICAL MUSEUM Open 9:30 a.m.-4:30 p.m. Tuesday-Friday and 2-5 p.m. Saturday and Sunday. (803) 642-2015.

M E T R O

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Photo: Joe White

Rotunda at the Augusta Museum of History. General admission tickets are $8 adults, $6 children 12 and under. Call 826-4707 or visit www.augustaplayers.com.

A State of Mind You’ll Want to Find 302 Sixth St. Augusta, GA 30901 706.774.9500

and adults. The Walker-MacKenzie studio hosts 34 youth classes and workshops. Open from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. M E T R O S P I R I T J U N E

FREE HIV/AIDS TESTING every Tuesday from 4 to 7 p.m. at St. Stephen’s Ministry, 922 Greene Street. Free anonymous testing, pre and post test counseling and education.

on Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday, 10 a.m. to 7 p.m. on Thursday and by appointment only on Saturday. The Walker-Mackenzie Studio is open from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. on Tuesdays through Fridays and 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. on Saturdays. Admission is free, but donations are accepted. For more information, call 722-5495.

HATHA YOGA CLASSES at the St. Joseph Home Health Care Center in Daniel Village Plaza. Held 10 a.m. to noon Monday, Wednesday and Friday and 6:30-8:30 p.m. Monday through Thursday. $10 per class or $60 a month for unlimited classes. Mats are provided, but bring a towel and a water bot tle. Call Tess at 738-2782 for more information.

Special Events

A FREE WOMEN’S HEALTH CLINIC is held from 6-8 p.m. on the first and third Thursday of each month at the Salvation Army and Welfare Center, 1383 Greene St., Augusta. Services include Pap smear, breast examination and the diagnosis and treatment of sexually transmit ted diseases. This service is available through the Medical College of Georgia Student Chapter of the American Medical Women's Association and the MCG Depar tments of Family Medicine and Obstetrics and Gynecology. For more info or an appointment, call the St. Vincent dePaul Health Center at 828-3444.

2 ARTS AND CR AFTS SHOW AND FOURTH OF JULY 0 CELEBR ATION July 4, 3-9 p.m. at Patriots Park. For

more information, call 868-3458.

2 0 0 JUNETEENTH CELEBR ATION June 23 at Lake 2 Olmstead’s gazebo. Held noon to 7 p.m. and fea-

tures enter tainment, ar tifacts, games and stor ytelling. Blankets, chairs and picnic baskets are welcome. Sponsored by the African-American Association of Augusta.

W.G. WATSON, M.D., WOMEN’S CENTER CONDUCTS EDUCATION CLASSES at University Hospital. Course topics include Lamaze, breast feeding, parenting and grandparenting. Par tners will learn positive suppor t techniques to use during the shared bir th experience. There are also programs designed to help older siblings adjust to new family members. Some classes are free, while others require a fee. Registration is required by calling 774-2825.

SUMMER GARDENING SEMINAR with hor ticulturist Tom Rapp, June 22 from 9-11 a.m. Cost is $20, with proceeds benefiting the Aiken Downtown Development Association. Call (803) 649-2221. GREATER AUGUSTA ARTS COUNCIL’S ANNUAL AWARDS DINNER June 25 at The Pinnacle Club on the 17th floor of the First Union Bank Building. Tickets are $30 per person and reservations are required for the 6:30 p.m. reception. 826-4702.

Kids

AUGUSTA BOXING CLUB SCHOLARSHIP BANQUET June 20 at 6 p.m. at the Julian Smith barbecue pit. 733-7533.

SUMMER ART CAMP runs in weeklong sessions through August 2. Open to children entering first through six th grade. Held at the Aiken Center for the Ar ts. Call (803) 641-9094 for more information.

JUNE JAZZ AND ART features music by Quiet Storm and original works by Harvey F. Ramseur June 30 at 3 p.m. at American Legion Post #212. Tickets are $10 in advance or $15 at the door. Call (803) 644-3994 for more information. CATESBY QUEST June 22 at Phinizy Swamp Nature Park. Event celebrates the works of Mark Catesby. Parents will par ticipate in a nature hike while children age 7-11 will draw nature ar tifacts with a local ar tist. $3 for members, $5 for non-members. Register by June 21 at 828-2109. SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE on Riverwalk’s Eighth Street Plaza features CSRA bands per forming live, plus food and family fun. Held 7-11 p.m. June 29. Call Riverwalk Special Events at 821-1754. PROJECT SUCCESS OF AUGUSTA NINTH ANNIVERSARY CELEBR ATION June 28 at the AugustaRichmond County Civic Center. Held 11:30 a.m. to 1 p.m. Tickets are $50. Call 724-0446. SRS CLEANUP REFORM INFORMATION SESSIONS open to the public. Environmental Restoration presentation 6-9 p.m. June 20 at the Nor th Augusta Community Center. Depar tment of Energy workshop June 26, 5-7 p.m. at Adam’s Mark Hotel in Columbia, S.C. For more information, call 1-800-249-8155 or visit ht tp://sro.srs.gov/pubact1.htm. THE AUGUSTA METRO AND COLUMBIA COUNTY CHAMBER OF COMMERCE is currently accepting nominations for the Small Businessperson of the Year Award to recognize outstanding small business owners for their personal achievements and community contributions. Selection criteria include staying power, grow th in employee number or sales volume, response to adversity, innovative product or service, contributions to the community and membership in the Augusta Metro and Columbia County Chamber of Commerce. Winner will be announced at August 29 luncheon at the Radisson River front Hotel. Nomination deadline is July 1. Contact Janna DeMot t at 821-1306. COLUMBIA COUNTY HUMANE SOCIETY holds pet adoptions every Saturday from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. and every Sunday from 1 to 4 p.m. at PetsMar t. For more info, call 860-5020. RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL AND AUGUSTA ANIMAL RESCUE FRIENDS holds pet adoptions at Superpetz of f Bobby Jones Expressway every Sunday from 1 to 4 p.m. Call AARF at 3644747 or visit www.aar f.net. Adoptions are also held at the Richmond County Animal Control Shelter on Tuesday through Sunday from 1 to 5 p.m. For more information, call the shelter at 790-6836. LOW-COST R ABIES VACCINATIONS: AugustaRichmond County Animal Control holds low-cost rabies vaccination clinics the four th Sunday of every

CHILDREN’S HEALTHCARE OF ATLANTA WORKSHOPS held at the Medical College of Georgia June 29, 9 a.m. to 4:30 p.m.: “Identifying Red Flags in Early Childhood,” “Steps to Inclusion” and “Adapted Toys and Lesson Plans for Inclusive Classroom.” Open to parents and childcare providers. To register, contact Beth Marable at (404) 929-4866.

The Aiken Center for the Arts will be holding their Summer Art Camp 2002 for kids from June 17 - Aug. 2. Each week presents a different subject. June 24 presents See the Sea World. Call (803) 641-9094 for info. month. The depar tment vaccinates privately owned pets for $8 per animal at 1 p.m. at Superpetz of f Bobby Jones Expressway. Dogs must be on a leash and cats must be in a carrier. Puppies and kit tens must be three months of age and current for all other vaccinations. Schedule subject to change, so please call 790-6836 for more information and to verify dates and times. THE CSR A HUMANE SOCIETY holds pet adoptions every Saturday from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. and every Wednesday evening from 5:30 to 7:30 p.m. at the Pet Center located behind the GreenJackets Stadium on Milledge Rd. Call 261-PETS for more information.

Benefits “THROW IN THE TOWEL” event June 21 at the Augusta-Richmond County Civic Center before the Augusta Stallions game. The Stallions, Fox 54 and the Ronald McDonald House sponsor the event; patrons who bring two rolls of paper towel or four rolls of toilet paper to the tent outside the game will receive vouchers for discounted game tickets. Paper products will be donated to the Ronald McDonald house. For more information, please call 724-5901. BARK IN THE PARK FAMILY FUN DAY to benefit animal shelters and the Rotary Student Program June 29. Held 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. at Diamond Lakes Park and features ar ts and craf ts, food, family events, pet services and products, pet competitions and awards. To register, call Diamond Lakes Park at 771-2980 or Sandra Gurley at 724-2601.

Learning AUGUSTA STATE UNIVERSITY CAMPUS VISITATION June 29 from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. at the ASU Science

Building. Prospective students are invited to at tend, gather information from and ask questions of ASU administration, faculty and staf f. Financial aid and admissions personnel will be in at tendance. Call 7371444 or 737-1878 for more information. AUGUSTA STATE UNIVERSITY CONTINUING EDUCATION is of fering the following classes during June and July: Beginning Shag, Creative Writing, Aquacise, Beginning Ballroom, Line Dance and Adobe Illustrator. Also, ASU of fers online courses. For more information, including class dates, times and cost, call 7371636 or visit www.ced.aug.edu. AIKEN TECH CONTINUING EDUCATION is of fering the following courses: Intro to Computers, Adobe PageMaker, Intro to Massage Therapy, Intro to Genealogy, Intro to Floral Design, Driver Education, Occupational Spanish and more. Classes begin in June. For more information or to register, contact the Aiken Technical College Continuing Education Division at (803) 593-9231, ex t. 1279.

Health CSR A PERITONEAL DIALYSIS SUPPORT GROUP: Come explore the exciting world of peritoneal dialysis. Meeting held June 25 at St. Joseph Hospital in the Sister Mary Louise Room at 7 p.m. Contact Kathy Hogan at 792-9788 or Brenda Garcia at 215-3206 for more information. “DEALING WITH PHYSICAL DISABILITY” WORKSHOP presented by the MCG Children’s Medical Center. Held July 2, 6:30-8 p.m. in the CMC Conference Center. For more information, call 721-KIDS. MCG TICK REMOVAL STUDY compares two methods of removing ticks from humans. If you find a tick on you and would like to par ticipate, please call Dr. Mike Felz before the tick is removed at 721-2855, 8 a.m.-5 p.m., Monday-Friday.

FAMILY DINNER AT PHINIZY SWAMP NATURE PARK June 20, 6-7:30 p.m. Bring the family and a precooked picnic dinner to the park’s picnic pavilion. This month’s topic is “Forestr y Fun.” Free of charge to the public, and advance registration is not necessar y. 828-2109. TEEN TALENT SHOW sponsored by Teens in Action with Goals, Inc. Held June 22, 6 p.m. at Underwood Homes Social Room. For more information, call Wendy Lacy at 792-1088. YOUTH LEADERSHIP DEVELOPMENT SKILLS PROGR AM for teens ages 12-19 held the third Saturday of the month at the Lucy Craf t Laney Museum of Black Histor y. Call 724-3576 for details. SIBSHOPS every third Saturday of the month at the MCG Children’s Medical Center Conference Center. This program is designed for siblings of children with special health and developmental needs. Phone 721KIDS for information. CAMP RAINBOW in Rutledge, Ga, is a weeklong camp for children battling cancer. Held July 21-26. For information on attending, contact the MCG Children’s Medical Center at 721-KIDS. MAXWELL BR ANCH LIBR ARY CHILDREN’S PROGR AMS include: Paper Craf ts June 26, 1-2 p.m., registration required; and Craf ts from Africa, China and Japan June 28, 10-11 a.m., registration required. 793-2020. MOVIES FOR CHILDREN Wednesdays at 1:30 p.m. at the Euchee Creek Branch Library. Call 556-0594. LEARNING ABOUT INSECTS at the Friedman Branch Library June 25, 10:30 a.m. for preschoolers and 11 a.m for school-age children. Call the library at 7366758 or visit www.ecgrl.public.lib.ga.us for information. PIZZA AND A MOVIE: June 25 showing of “Harry Pot ter” and pizza buf fet star ting 5 p.m. $3 fee includes drink, popcorn and movie. No unat tended children. Held at For t Gordon’s Gordon Club; open to the public. 791-6780. BOOKS-A-MILLION EVENTS: Preschool story time, Tuesdays at 10:30 a.m.; Kids Movies, Fridays at 7

p.m.; Harry Pot ter and Pokemon Trading Card League every Saturday. For more information, call 481-9090. WEEKLY STORY SESSIONS are held at all branches of Richmond County and Columbia County libraries. Visit www.ecgrl.public.lib.ga.us for more information. SUMMER FOOD SERVICE PROGR AM is available to eligible children ages 1-18 from through July 26. There will be more than 70 locations throughout Richmond County providing children with the same high-quality meals in the summer that they receive from the school nutrition program during the school year. For additional information, contact Joe Brandenburg at 737-7174. FIRST SATURDAY STORYTELLING Each first Saturday of the month, children and adults are invited to the Lucy Craf t Laney Museum to hear one of our many talented story tellers weave stories and folk tales into exciting adventures. In addition, they get a tour of the museum. Held 10 a.m. to noon. Call 724-3576 for more information.

Seniors

THE SENIOR CITIZENS COUNCIL of fers a variety of classes in June, including aerobics, quilting group, tai chi, Spanish, painting, line dancing, bridge, crochet, drawing and billiards. 826-4480. CANASTA CLUB meets every Tuesday from 12:303:30 p.m. at the Weeks Center in Aiken. No cost to join, and the club is open to any level player. Call (803) 642-7631. MATURE SINGLES DINNER CLUB is a new organization open to those ages 55 and over. Meets once a week at restaurants in the area for companionship and social interaction. For more information, call 399-2087 af ter 5 p.m. SENIOR CITIZENS ARTS AND CR AFTS CLUB meets on Tuesdays and Thursdays at 10 a.m. at SmithHazel. Activities include ar ts and craf ts workshops, trips and holiday par ties. Those in at tendance should bring refreshments to share. For more info, call (803) 642-7635. ACADEMY FOR LIFELONG LEARNING provides a broad range of activities for mature adults. Meets the second Friday of each month, Room 107 of the USCAiken’s Penland Administration Building. Contact the Continuing Education Of fice at (803) 641-3288. SENIORNET provides adults age 50 and over education for and access to computer technology. Many different courses are of fered. Contact the USC-Aiken Continuing Education Of fice at (803) 641-3563.

Sports SOUTHEASTERN REGIONAL ROWING REGATTA June 21-23 at Langley Pond. Open to rowers across the country, format of singles to eights. Call (803) 642-7557. BEGINNER’S ADULT HOCKEY LEAGUE held through August 15 at the Augusta Ice Spor ts Center. For more information, contact Kyle Schultz at 724-4423 or the Augusta Ice Spor ts Center at 863-0061.

“STOCK CAR R ACING 101” with Donnie Allison June 25 at ASU’s PEAC Mezzanine. Class covers building the car, safety, car adjustments, sponsors, race teams, testing the car, pit crew responsibilities and racing strategies. Held from 6-9 p.m. $29 fee. Call 737-1636 for more information. AUGUSTA RECREATION AND PARKS SUMMER SWIMMING POOLS now open. Pools are located at Dyess Park, May Park, Jones Pool and Fleming Pool. Call 796-5025 for more information. OPEN SWIM at the Smith Hazel pool through August. Held Monday-Friday, 1-6 p.m.; Saturday, noon-5 p.m.; Sunday, 1-5 p.m. Cost for children is 50 cents and adults pay $1. Call (803) 642-7755 for more information. EAST DISTRICT SPORTS FESTIVAL events are held in Augusta, Grovetown, Springfield and Statesboro through July 4, wi th the championships in Augusta July 12-21, and are presented by the Georgia State Games Commission. Open to all residents, regardless of age or skill level. Events include archer y, baseball, basketball, bicycle riding, bowling, fishing, racquetball, sof tball, tennis, tae k won do and more. For more information, call the Georgia State Games Commission at (770) 528-3585 or visi t w w w.georgiagames.org. AUGUSTA STALLIONS HOME GAMES for the 2002 season are: June 21 and July 5, 20, 27. Season tickets star t at $40. Contact the Stallions ticket of fice at 738-9539 for season and individual game tickets. AUGUSTA GREENJACKETS HOME GAMES June 2730; July 1-2, 5-8, 19-26 and 31; August 1-3, 14-21, 26-28 30-31; and September 1-2. Ticket prices range from $6-$8, with special discounts for children and seniors. Sundays are Family Fest/Junior Jacket days, Tuesdays are “Two Fer” Tuesdays/Team Trivia and Thursdays are Thirsty Thursdays. For tickets, call 736-7889 or go to www.tixonline.com. Also check out www.greenjackets.net. THE G.O.A.L.L.S. PROGR AM AT WALTON REHABILITATION HOSPITAL is of fering golf clinics for those with physical disabilities. Future clinics are planned for the second Tuesday of each month at the First Tee of Augusta. Golfers do not have to be af filiated with Walton to par ticipate. If you are interested in par ticipating, please contact Judie Thompson, G.O.A.L.L.S. Coordinator at 823-8691.

Volunteer GOLDEN HARVEST FOOD BANK needs volunteers to help sor t and pack food collected from the National Association of Let ter Carriers food drive. Volunteers needed Monday-Friday, 8:30 a.m.-noon shif t and 1-4:30 p.m. shif t. Groups of 10 or more, please call in advance. For information, contact Laurie at 736-1199, ex t. 208. OLDER AMERICANS ACT SENIOR NUTRITION PROGR AM is looking for volunteers to serve hot, nutritious meals to needy older residents. To volunteer in suppor t of senior nutrition programs, contact the Senior Citizens Council at 826-4480, or visit your nearest

par ticipating senior center. For those in need of homedelivered meals, please apply with the Area Agency on Aging at 210-2018 or toll free at 1-888-922-4464.

M E T R O

AUGUSTA-RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL: Help Augusta-Richmond County Animal Control improve the lives of stray dogs and cats housed at our shelter by volunteering your time. New volunteer orientation is scheduled the first Saturday of every month at 11 a.m. at the shelter, 4164 Mack Lane. Schedule subject to change, so please call 790-6836 for information and to verify dates and times.

S P I R I T

THE CSRA HUMANE SOCIETY is looking for animal lovers who are willing to donate a lit tle of their time. Volunteers are needed every Saturday at the Pet Center located behind the GreenJackets Stadium on Milledge Road. Please call 261-PETS for more information.

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SHEPEARD COMMUNITY BLOOD CENTER is seeking donors to prevent a blood supply shor tage. To donate call 737-4551, 854-1880 or (803) 643-7996.

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Meetings AUGUSTA-AIKEN SOCIETY FOR HUMAN RESOURCES MANAGEMENT meeting June 21, 7:309:15 a.m. at the Radisson River front Hotel. Topic is “America’s Future: What to Expect and How to Get Ready,” presented by Major General Perry Smith. $15 fee includes break fast. To make reservations, call Maria Defever at (803) 442-7812. CSR A CHAPTER OF THE GEORGIA ASSOCIATION OF PUBLIC ACCOUNTANTS nex t meeting is June 20, 8:15 a.m. at Athens Restaurant and Taverna. Floyd King Lit tle, E.A. will speak on the IRS and collection mat ters. To reserve a spot, contact Richard Chambers at 650-2299. AUGUSTA CHAPTER OF THE AMERICAN SINGLES GOLF ASSOCIATION meets the second Thursday of each month at Damon’s Restaurant from 6:30-8:30 p.m. No admission for meeting, but at tendees are responsible for any thing ordered. RSVP by noon the Tuesday prior to meeting at 24 hour hotline: (803) 441-6741 or 650-1254. ASGA also holds golf outings and socials. Call (803) 441-6741 or 1-888-465-3628 for more information. THE AUGUSTA SKI AND OUTING CLUB is a nonprofit organization for those who enjoy snow skiing, boating, camping, whitewater raf ting, cycling and other outdoor recreation. Meets 6:45 p.m. the first Tuesday of ever y month at the Cot ton Patch. Club interests should be directed to (803) 279-6186. AUGUSTA CHAPTER OF PEOPLE FIRST, a self-advocacy group for people with disabilities holds meetings the last Monday of each month at St. Marks United Methodist Church from 6-8 p.m. For more information, call 399-9869. GUIDELINES: Public Service announcements are listed in this section without charge at the discretion of the editor. Announcements must be received by Monday at noon and will be included as space permits. Send to Events, The Metropolitan Spirit, P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, GA, 30914 or Fa x (706) 7336663. Listings cannot be taken over the phone.

If you would like a little something different to whet your musical palate, how about the first-ever All-Star Bluegrass Festival in Savannah? Promoter Randy Wood, a repairman of fine instruments, had some comments. “We’re just bringing in some pickers. The star of the show I guess is Vasser Clements. He’s played with just about everybody, including probably most of the rock musicians in the world – Grateful Dead; Earth, Wind and Fire. He’s even played with Hank Williams Sr. He’s probably the bestknown fiddle-player in the country. We’ll actually have three groups: Tony Williamson and his band out of North Carolina. Tony is a world-class mandolin player. And another band called the Bluegrass Alliance.” The show is in Bloomingdale, which is near the Savannah Airport at the Mighty 8th Airforce Museum. Just take I-95 to exit 102. “It’s right behind the Cracker Barrel at that exit,” he said. And if you get lost? “They can call me here, Randy Wood at Randy Wood Guitars.” That number is (912) 748-1930.

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ENERGY-TINI $7 A revitalizing concoction of Skyy Vodka and Red Bull shaken with Cointreau and strained into a chilled Martini glass coated with lime juice. Served with a cherry and a twist.

BLUE HAWAIIN: As easy on the pallet as it is on the eyes. Malibu Rum and Blue Curacoa mixed over ice. Topped with pineapple juice and garnished with a cherry and orange slice. 4.5

topped with orange juice and a dash of Galliano. This satisfying drink is completed by floating a splash of Disaronno Amaretto and served with an orange wedge and cherry. 5.0

EURO SPLASH $7 An equal blend of Skyy Citrus and Malibu shaken with Grand Marnier and a splash of cranberry and pineapple juice. Served in a lime coated Martini glass with a twist.

BLUE LAGOON: The tidal wave without the Peach Schnapps. The extra Skyy Citrus will have you swimming. Garnished with a cherry and orange slice. 4.5

HELENA MODJESKA: An inviting mixture of Bombay Sapphire Gin and Galliano accompanied by a dash of Blue Curacoa, shaken and strained into a chilled cocktail glass with an orange wedge. 5.5

OHRANJ MARTINI $7 A summery concoction mixing Stolichnaya Ohranj Vodka with a splash of Cointreau and Orange Curacoa, shaken with vigor, and served with an orange slice. PURPLE PASSION MARTINI $7 A refreshing mixture of Smirnoff Raspberry Twist shaken with Chambord and Razmatazz with a splash of pineapple juice, garnished with a twist.

COUNT BOZENTA: Skyy Citrus Vodka blended with Disaronno Amaretto, Peach Schnapps, and a mixture of grapefruit and cranberry juice. Garnished with a cherry and a fresh orange slice. 4.5 HYPNOTIC WAVE: The combination of Skyy Citrus and Blue Curacoa along with sweet and sour mix and a splash of club soda will place you in a trance. Garnished with a fresh orange wedge and cherry.4.5

THE 007 $7 Three parts Bombay Sapphire Gin, one part Stolichnaya Vodka and a hint of vermooth with a twist.

MOJITO: A refreshing combination of Bacardi Rum, Myers Dark, Cream de Menthe, and a splash of lime juice stirred over ice. Topped with club soda and garnished with a lime. 4.5

TROPICAL MARTINI $7 The Caribbean in a Martini glass. Skyy Citrus shaken with Malibu Rum and Crème de Banana. Served with a cherry and orange slice.

SILK STOCKINGS: A seductive combination of Cuervo Gold, white Crème de Cacoa, half and half, and two splashes of grenadine, shaken and served in a chilled cocktail glass dusted with chocolate.4.5

Eclectic Cocktails

TIDAL WAVE: Skyy Citrus, Peach Schnapps, Blue Curacoa, and pineapple juice come together to delight the taste buds and your senses. Garnished with a cherry and orange slice. 4.5

CUBA LIBRE: Bacardi Limon and a dash of lime juice combined in a tumbler of ice and topped with cola give new meaning to rum and coke. Garnished with a lime wedge. 4.0 ACAPULCO: Equal portions of Bacardi and Cuervo Gold combined over ice and topped with pineapple and grapefruit juice. 4.5 BETWEEN THE SHEETS: Paul Masson Grande Amber Brandy and Triple Sec liqueur, mixed with orange juice and sweet and sour. A dash of grenadine and Sprite along with a cherry and orange slice complete this tantalizing concoction. 4.5

VENETIAN LAGOON: Blue Curacoa, Skyy Citrus, Sprite, and a dash of grapefruit juice layered in that order in a chilled cocktail glass with a cherry and orange wedge. 4.5 GOLDEN DREAM: Cointreau and Galliano stirred with a dash of cream and topped off with orange juice. Served on the rocks with a cherry and orange slice. 5.0 SOUTHERN SKYY: Skyy Vodka, Sloe Gin, and Southern Comfort stirred over ice and

PARADISE: Bombay Sapphire and Apricot Brandy stirred on the rocks with fresh orange juice make this simple concoction a delight to the senses. Served with a cherry and orange slice. 5.5 PINK PANTHER: A delightful blend of Bombay Sapphire and Crème de Cassis along with orange juice and a hint of dry vermooth, shaken and strained into a chilled cocktail glass with an orange slice. 5.5 THE STORM: An awakening combination Bacardi O Rum, Myers Dark Rum, Bombay Sapphire, and Disaronno Amaretto with a dash of grenadine. Topped off with orange, grapefruit, and pineapple juice accompanied by a cherry and a lime. 5.5 1916: This cocktail is destined to become a classic. Bacardi Rum, cherry liqueur, Grand Marnier, and fresh lime juice, shaken over ice and strained into a chilled cocktail glass garnished with an orange wedge, a cherry, and two lime twists.5.5 THE MORROCAN: A truly intoxicating blend of Bacardi O, Bacardi Limon, and Myers Dark with hearty splashes of Apricot brandy, Orange Curacoa, Blue Curacoa, and Grenadine. A layer of Bacardi 151 is floated on top for fun. Garnished with orange, lemon, and lime wedges. 7.0 SILVER SUNSET: Patron Silver Tequila poured over ice and topped with fresh orange juice and a dash of grenadine provides a refined alternative to the traditional "sunrise". Garnished with an orange wedge. 7.0

Other premium brand liquors may be substituted upon request and are subject to a price increase

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Music Kari Gaffney Goes National

BY RHONDA JONES

ultry, seductive music about love and broken hearts. On June 22, 8 p.m., at Borders, this smoky-room jazz will be curtained only by the wafting steam of coffee and chai when the Kari Gaffney you’ve grown to love enweaves you in music for the last time. Then, come the middle of summer, she’ll go away. Autumn will bring a new Kari Gaffney, road-wise and full of stories. This Augusta girl is going on tour. A “real” tour, with no breaks between the July 15 blast-off for Monroe, La., and her return on Oct. 25. It’s her first, and she’s a-jitter with kamikaze butterflies. “We’re excited about it but we’re also nervous, too,” she said of herself and the two Jeffs she’s working with. Jeff Williams, who graduated from Berklee College of Music in Boston, plays guitar; fellow Berklee grad who later got his masters degree at North Texas State, Jeff Novack, plays upright bass. They may be professionals, but it’s still a big step, Gaffney said: “It’s a long time to be away from home.” The trio will play some Charlotte dates before hitting such faraway lands as Houston, Dallas and Austin, Texas; Albuquerque — and if they don’t take a wrong turn there –– Taos, Santa Fe, N.M.; Palm Springs, San Diego and Long Beach, Calif.; Eugene and Portland, Ore.; Grand Junction, Denver, Loveland, Co.; Kansas City, Mo. And then (cue the drum roll) Nashville. On Oct. 23, they'll wind up back in Charlotte, N.C., and then return to the Augusta Country Club. Gaffney gives plenty of props to those who have helped her get exposure. “Radio has been good to us,” she said. “They’ve spun us a lot. Borders, too, has been really, really helpful as far as carrying our CD nationally and internationally.” Some of the exposure, though, has come from the group’s own efforts —

keeping the press informed. “PR is absolutely imperative in what we do,” she said, adding that there are two equally important sides to the word “showbusiness,” and advises younger or lessexperienced colleagues in the arts to educate themselves about the nuts and bolts

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of whatever industry they’re working in. “Learn about promotion and how to be more active about your career,” she said. After all, she added, no PR machine is going to be as intimate with your work as you are. “You’re in the trenches every day doing it.”

The Spirit asked what Gaffney would like people to know about her and the others. “Well the main thing obviously that I’d like them to know is that we’re an Augusta-based group and that things are obviously starting to happen. And we’re very appreciative of the support Augusta has given us.” Aside from being an avid promoter of her own music, Gaffney is outspoken about the importance of the arts to the human race, but also to Augusta itself. “There are so many talented people that live here in Augusta,” she said. “I would like to see the community get involved and be more supportive. When our music scene flourishes locally, that helps everyone.” This tour is a case in point. “The first question people are going to ask us is, ‘Where are you from?’ We are going to say, ‘Augusta, Georgia.’” But back to the music. Gaffney’s genre deals with old 1930s and ‘40s jazz arrangements. She does, however, promise a more contemporary twist. And that’s the great thing about jazz, she said, from a musician’s standpoint: “There are lots of things you can do with these jazz standards to make them all yours.” Her current CD, “Angel Eyes,” is a piano-based compilation that is going to be the subject of the tour. But January will bring a new kind of album — guitarbased. That, she said, will create an entirely different texture. “Jazz guitar really has tenderness and beauty,” she said. “It has a very woody sound that’s deeper and very rich.” Rich like cheesecake? What a sweet escape. And that’s just what she wants it to be. “For me, I like to come home and put on a CD that I can go, ‘Whew!’ and relax from. We live in stressful times. People have pressures that they never had before. I would like our music to be an escape from that.” For more info on Kari Gaffney, visit www.karigaffney.com.

If You Don't Get The Metropolitan Spirit ... You Just Don't Get It!

BY RHONDA JONES

his week, The Spirit doffs its hat to the press release. We just can’t say it any better: “And so the band was birthed from a love of hip-hop, trip-hop and acid jazz with a mission toward Southern poetic communication transferred via soul hums and collard greens.” Pam Howe, lead singer and crafter of lyrics for Atlanta band Ph Balance – and suspected writer of the magical bio sheet – says that what she creates is simply a reflection of her world. “I really wear myself on my sleeve,” she said. “I would say my world is gentle. It’s childlike and it’s full of birds and trees and possibilities. In this world that’s full of circuits and TV’s I have a lot of hope.” She doesn’t mind so much that people have a tendency to grasp for the familiar in describing her band’s – or any band’s – music. When the names Sade and the B52’s came up, she was OK with it. (Sade the jazz singer, not the Marquis.) “I do that too,” she said. “I understand because it helps people get hold of what we’re doing. I can’t wait till someday in the world when we don’t have to do that anymore. “The whole Sade thing – that’s definitely right around the same line. Her sound is very international and I think our sound is like that too.” Their sound is like sealing yourself away from the world in a cold, spacious room with something icy in a glass. And it’s also like walking barefoot through the mud. “The B-52’s are definitely not really any kind of influence,” she said, but there are collard greens in the famous Athens band’s music too. Resemblance aside, you don’t get the feeling that this group is emulating anyone. The differences are just as apparent as the similarities. “The main difference,” she said, “is that it’s such a clear expression of me as an individual. We’re all here to express ourselves exactly as we really are. I’ve done that,” she said.

Take the song “Butterflier.” “It’s funny,” she said when asked about that piece specifically. “Because that is really me describing my world. The first thing I say in the song is really what it’s about. ‘I’m dealing with others with my gloves off...’ Existing in the world, in America, and being in it but not of it, and the confusion of living in America – that’s all I know. I haven’t lived anywhere else.” Anyone growing up in the Bible Belt might associate a phrase like “being in the world and not of it” with fundamental Christian ideals, but Howe said that the concept is more universal than that, and is actually Buddhist in origin. She considers herself a spiritual person, and music a very spiritual medium for getting across ideas. Howe and her bandmates approach the communication of those ideas in the manner of one who makes fine wines. The process, she said, cannot be rushed. This is why Ph Balance have just started to tour, even though they’ve already been together long-term. “We’re approaching six years,” she said. “It’s funny because it just snuck up on us. Everything we do just seems like we’re just starting.” They manage that, she said, because they take care of themselves and do only the things that they love. “We’re pretty picky about what we’ll do, just to preserve the band,” she said. “We just started touring. We wanted to tour five years ago, but we waited to have the right situation.” The most important thing that newcomers should know about their show, Howe said, is that they’re going to feel good. She likes it when people come up to the band and tell them that, even though they were having a bad day they dragged their carcass out of doors and into the club, and are glad they did because the music was just the medicine they needed. “‘Cause that’s what I look for,” Howe said. “I try to give people what I want. When I go see bands, I want them to change me. I want to think about it the next day.”

Music By Turner

nother powerhouse tour has been announced. Third Eye Blind will team up with Goo Goo Dolls for a summer trek around the States beginning in late July. As reported earlier in this column, Third Eye Blind has been busy in the studio wrapping up their forthcoming disc “Crystal Baller,” and these dates will give Stephen Jenkins and band a chance to road test the new material. You can catch the two groups Sept. 1 at Atlanta’s Hi-Fi Buys Amphitheater. TicketMaster. What Took so Long? Dept. It just had to happen. KISS has unveiled plans to market a series of “KISS Kondoms.” The first in a series of three sports a picture of Gene Simmons with (yes, you guessed it) full tongue extended while the second features a pic of Paul Stanley in his trademark stage makeup. The products are being marketed and can be purchased by the fine folks at Condomania.com. It’s a safe bet to assume that they would make excellent stocking stuffers. Even though the Black Crowes are no more, a live set from the band’s final tour will be released in August. The yet-to-benamed disc will feature tunes from their very first album, “Shake Your Moneymaker,” right up through their poorly received 2001 swan song, “Lions.” Most of the hits (“Hard To Handle,” “Twice as Hard,” “Sting Me,” etc.) are

BY ED TURNER included, along with a few choice deep album cuts. The one unreleased song, “Title Song,” dates back to 1993 and made sporadic appearances in their live shows. David Bowie’s “Heathen” is new and in stores this week. Joining Bowie this time out is Dave Grohl of Foo Fighters and The Who’s Pete Townshend. Producer Tony Visconti is back onboard as well; he last worked with Bowie back in the late ’70s and brings some cohesiveness and organization to the usual Bowie anarchy and mayhem. Along with the new originals are two peculiar covers: “Cactus” from the Pixies and the obscure Neil Young tune “I’ve Been Waiting for You.” Turner’s Quick Notes: A three-CD Widespread Panic live set, “Live in the Classic City,” is now out ... Bruce Springsteen has completed a new studio offering with the E-Street Band. Look for it later this summer ... A Gregg Allman solo retrospective, “No Stranger to the Dark,” has just been issued ... Joe Jackson has reformed his ’70s-era Look Sharp band for an album and tour ... Brian Wilson’s “Pet Sounds Live” is on the loose. Turner’s Rock and Roll Jeopardy: A. In Gene Simmons’ autobiography, “KISS and Make-Up,” he claims to have had “affairs” this many times. Q. What is over 4,600 times? (He’s still no Wilt Chamberlain!)

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39 M E T R O S P I R I T

Thursday, 20th Aiken Brewing Co. - Karaoke Bhoomer’s Bar - Dance Par ty, Live Enter tainment Big Iron Saloon - Russell Bonham Coconuts - DJ Continuum - Playa*Listic Thursday Cotton Patch - Patio Par ty with DJ Midlife Crisis Coyote’s - Ladies’ Night, Rhes Reeves, Shelley Watkins and the Coyote Ugly Band D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Eagle’s Nest - Richardean Norwood, Michael Johnson, Karaoke Finish Line Cafe - Blind-Draw Fishbowl Lounge - Blind-Draw Dar ts Fraternal Order of Eagles - Bingo Greene Street’s - Men’s National Karaoke Contest Honk y Tonk - The Duke Boys Joe’s Underground - Paul Arrowood Last Call - Ma x from 95 Rock hosts Barroom Olympics, DJ Richie Rich Logan’s Roadhouse - Karaoke with Bill Tolber t Luck y Ladies Bar and Grill - Pool League Marlboro Station - Talent Night Michael’s - Marilyn Adcock Modjeska - Chill Music Mulligan’s Nitelife - DJ Playground - Open Mic Night Red Lion - AC/DC Tribute Band Richard’s Place - DJ Mike the Outlaw, Pool League Robbie’s Sports Bar - Pool and Dar t Leagues Safari Lounge Aiken - Ladies’ Night, Karaoke Salsa’s Bar and Grill - Karaoke with Linda Eubanks Shannon’s - Bar t Bell Sidestreets/Barracks - Karaoke Silver Bullet Lounge - The Big Dogs Soul Bar - DJ Ear thling Sports Pub and Grill - Spor ts Trivia The Spot - Open Booth Night Squeak y’s Tip-Top - Live Music TGI Friday’s - Bill & Ruskin Wheeler Tavern - Flashback and Company Whiskey Junction - DJ Dan

Joe’s Underground - Keith Gregory and Fossill Last Call - Ladies’ Night, Dakota West, Tony Howard, DJ Richie Rich Lucky Ladies Bar and Grill - The Niche, Blind Draws Marlboro Station - Show Night with Special Guest Michael’s - Marilyn Adcock Modjeska - DJ R. El Rey Mulligan’s Nitelife - DJ Partridge Inn - The C. Anthony Carpenter Project Patti’s - Free Pool Playground - SPYT Private I - Disco Richard’s Place - Midnight Magic Robbie’s Sports Bar - DJ Mykie G Safari Lounge Aiken - Shag Night with DJ Shannon’s - Steve Chapell Shuck’s - Opticon Sidestreets/Barracks - Ladies’ Night, Cabaret Silver Bullet Lounge - The Big Dogs Soul Bar - (r)evolution The Spot - Live DJ Veracruz - Live Music Wheeler Tavern - Flashback and Company Whiskey Junction - Tokyo Joe

Saturday, 22nd Back yard Tavern - Karaoke Bhoomer’s Bar - Pool Par ty, Live Enter tainment Big Iron Saloon - Russell Bonham Borders - Kari Gaf fney Cafe Du Teau - Buzz Clif ford Capri Cinema - Spitalfield, Nex t to Nothing, Pro Monroe Charlie O’s - Live Music, Military Night Coconuts - DJ Doug Cotton Patch - Pat & Andy Country Ranch - Karaoke Coyote’s - Rhes Reeves, Shelley Watkins and the Coyote Ugly Band Crossroads - I and I Band D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Finish Line Cafe - DJ, Dar t Tournament, Karaoke

Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke with Linda Eubanks, Blind-Draw Dar ts Fox’s Lair - DJ Mar tee Gordon Club - Salsa Night Greene Street’s - Karaoke with DJ Penny Honk y Tonk - The Duke Boys Joe's Underground - Keith Gregory and Fossill Last Call - Tony Howard, DJ Luck y Ladies Bar and Grill - The Niche Marlboro Station - Show Night with Special Guest Michael’s - Marilyn Adcock Modjeska - DJ Tony 2 Fingers Mulligan’s Nitelife - DJ Playground - Acoustic Music with Chuck Private I - Disco, Live Jazz and R&B Rae’s Coastal Cafe - Live Music Richard’s Place - DJ Mike the Outlaw Robbie’s Sports Bar - DJ Mykie G Safari Lounge Aiken - Karaoke Shuck’s - Opticon Shannon’s - Bar t Bell Silver Bullet Lounge - The Big Dogs Soul Bar - ph Balance, DJ Ear thling The Spot - Live DJ Squeak y’s Tip-Top - Live Music Time Piecez - ‘80s Ladies’ Night Veracruz - Live Music Wheeler Tavern - Flashback and Company Whiskey Junction - Tokyo Joe

Pizza Joint - Jeremy Carr Robbie’s Sports Bar - DJ Mykie G Shannon’s - Tony Howard TGI Friday’s - J.A.R. Whiskey Junction - Starlight Karaoke

J U N E

Monday, 24th

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Big Iron Saloon - Russell Bonham Capri Cinema - Full-Blown Chaos, In Full Ef fect Coliseum - Q.A.F. Continuum - Monday Madness with DJ Freeman Crossroads - Monday Night Dance Par ty Elks Lodge - Line Dancing Finish Line Cafe - Open Pool Tournament Fraternal Order of Eagles - Bingo Highlander - Dar t League Honk y Tonk - Blues Monday featuring Robbie Ducey Band and Special Guest Joe’s Underground - Adam Hat field Kokopelli’s - Dar t Teams Luck y Ladies Bar and Grill - Dar ts Michael’s - Karaoke with Hugh Barrow Mulligan’s Nitelife - DJ Playground - Trivia Night with Skin Tight Red Lion - Open Mic Night Richard’s Place - Dar ts Robbie’s Sports Bar - DJ Mykie G Safari Lounge Aiken - Shag Lessons

Sunday, 23rd

Tuesday, 25th

Adams Nightclub - Dance Par ty with DJ Tim Back yard Tavern - Karaoke Cafe Du Teau - Buzz Clif ford and The Last Bohemian Quar tet Cotton Patch - E and L Productions Country Ranch - Jam Sessions Finish Line Cafe - Blind-Draw Fraternal Order of Eagles - Bingo Logan’s Roadhouse - Trivia Marlboro Station - Starlight Cabaret with Claire Storm and Lauren Alexander Mulligan’s Nitelife - DJ

American Legion Post No. 63 - Bingo Bhoomer’s Bar - Karaoke with Bill Tolber t Big Iron Saloon - Russell Bonham Club Incognito - DJ Richie Rich Coliseum - Tournament Tuesday Coyote’s - Karaoke Docker’s - Pool Tournament D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Elks Lodge - Line Dancing

continued on page 40

Friday, 21st Adams Nightclub - Karaoke with Bill Tolber t American Legion Post No. 63 - The Escor ts Back yard Tavern - Karaoke, Horseshoes Bhoomer’s Bar - Pool Par ty, Live Enter tainment Big Iron Saloon - Russell Bonham Cafe Du Teau - Buzz Clif ford Capri Cinema - The Back Up Plan, Purity’s Failure Charlie O’s - Live Music Coconuts - Miss Hawaiian Tropic with DJ Doug Cotton Patch - Patio Par ty with DJ Midlife Crisis Country Ranch - Live Music Coyote’s - Rhes Reeves, Shelley Watkins and the Coyote Ugly Band Crossroads - Thinfin, Bind D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Euchee Creek Sports Bar - Karaoke Finish Line Cafe - DJ Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke with Linda Eubanks Fox’s Lair - Live Enter tainment Gordon Club - Flavor Fridays Greene Street’s - Karaoke with DJ Penny Highlander - Smath Sin Dragon Honk y Tonk - The Duke Boys

Catch the B-52’s in Atlanta at Chastain Park June 23. Michelle Branch will be the headliner at the On the Bricks concert series Friday night at Centennial Olympic Park in Atlanta. Other acts this week include Res, Marathon and Jag Star. June 28 brings They Might Be Giants, Superdrag, Lake Trout and Stereoblis.

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COMEDY IS BACK! Coyote’s Presents Killer Beaz Live One Show Only Wednesday June 26th Doors Open at 7:00 pm Show Starts at 9:00 pm Tickets Are: $12 in advance $15 day of the show After the Show - Some of the Prettiest Ladies in the CSRA compete for cash in Coyote’s Bikini Contest Thurs Ladies Night - Ladies drink free with cover Men compete in Frozen Boxer Shorts Contest Fri & Sat - Always a howling good time in the CSRA’s Hottest Night Spot Rhes Reeves, Shelly Watkins & The Coyote Ugly Band on stage nightly

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continued from page 39 Fraternal Order of Eagles - Bingo French Market Grille West - Wayne Capps Greene Street’s - National Karaoke Contest Joe’s Underground - Keith Gregory Lucky Ladies Bar and Grill - Karaoke, Ladies’ Night Metro Coffeehouse - Irish Music Michael’s - Marilyn Adcock Mulligan’s Nitelife - DJ Patti’s - Pool Tournament Red Lion - Dancing Under the Influence Robbie’s Sports Bar - Ladies’ Night Somewhere in Augusta - Trivia Sports Pub and Grill - Trivia

Wednesday, 26th Bhoomer’s Bar - Ladies’ Night Big Iron Saloon - Ladies’ Night, Russell Bonham Coconuts - DJ Coliseum - Talent Search Continuum - The Show Off with Comedian Joe King Cotton Patch - Trivia with Mat t Stovall Coyote’s - Killer Beaz Docker’s - Free Pool D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Euchee Creek Sports Bar - Ladies’ Night Finish Line Cafe - Blind-Draw Greene Street’s - National Karaoke Contest Honk y Tonk - The Duke Boys Hooters - Karaoke with Bill Tolber t Joe’s Underground - Adam Hat field Kokopelli’s - Ladies’ Night Logan’s Roadhouse - Trivia Luck y Ladies Bar and Grill - Pool League Michael’s - Marilyn Adcock Modjeska - Chill Music Mulligan’s Nitelife - DJ Playground - Jenga Competition Richard’s Place - Pool League Robbie’s Sports Bar - DJ Mykie G, Free Pool Shannon’s - Allen Black, Steve Chapell Silver Bullet Lounge - The Big Dogs Soul Bar - Live Jazz The Spot - Live DJ TGI Friday’s - Trivia Wheeler Tavern - Flashback and Company

Upcoming Suzy Black Benefit featuring Redbelly Marbury Center - July 3 Locobazooka featuring Sevendust, Filter and more - Augusta Exchange Club Fairgrounds - July 6

Elsewhere Michelle Branch - Centennial Olympic Park, Atlanta - June 21 Ellen DeGeneres - Atlanta Symphony Hall, Atlanta - June 21 Jennifer Nettles Band - Variety Playhouse, Atlanta - June 21

THE

Lair

“Fox’s Lair” 269 Robert C. Daniel Jr. Pkwy. • 738-8088

The Tams and The Drifters - Big Pond Music Park, Met ter, Ga. - June 22 The B-52s, Inxs - Chastain Park, Atlanta - June 23 Appalachian Connection - Memorial Park, Blowing Rock, N.C. - June 23 Elvis Costello - Chastain Park, Atlanta - June 24 Incubus, Hoobastank - Enter tainment and Spor ts Arena, Raleigh, N.C. - June 24; Cricket Arena, Charlot te, N.C. - June 25 Get Up Kids - Masquerade, Atlanta - June 27 Gallagher - Alabama Theatre, Myr tle Beach, S.C. - June 27 Trisha Yearwood - Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta - June 28 They Might Be Giants, Superdrag - Centennial Olympic Park, Atlanta - June 28 Jimmy Buffett - Hi-Fi Buys Amphitheatre, Atlanta - June 29 Al Green - Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta - June 29 Glenn Miller Orchestra - Lucas Theatre, Savannah, Ga. - June 29 Kenny Chesney - Hi-Fi Buys Amphitheatre, Atlanta - July 3 Cat Power - EARL, Atlanta - July 3 Kenny Chesney - Hi-Fi Buys Amphitheatre, Atlanta - July 3 KC & The Sunshine Band - House of Blues, Myr tle Beach, S.C. - July 5 Dave Matthews Band - Hi-Fi Buys Amphitheatre, Atlanta - July 8 Lil’ Romeo - Cot ton Club, Atlanta - July 10 Britney Spears - Charlot te Coliseum, Charlot te, N.C. - July 11 Jeep World Outdoor Festival with Sheryl Crow, Train - Hi-Fi Buys Amphitheatre, Atlanta July 11 Concrete Blonde, Atticus Fault, Copper Centennial Olympic Park, Atlanta - July 12 Usher - Hi-Fi Buys Amphitheatre, Atlanta - July 14 Willie Nelson, Leann Womack - Chastain Park, Atlanta - July 15 Mary J. Blige - Chastain Park, Atlanta - July 16 Korn, Puddle of Mudd - Bi-Lo Center, Greenville, S.C. - July 18 Billy Ray Cyrus - Alabama Theatre, Myr tle Beach, S.C. - July 18 Alicia Keys - Chastain Park, Atlanta - July 22 John Mellencamp - Hi-Fi Buys Amphitheatre, Atlanta - July 23 Tommy Lee - Ear thlink Live, Atlanta - July 23; House of Blues, Myr tle Beach, S.C. - July 24 Ozzfest ‘02 - Hi-Fi Buys Amphitheatre, Atlanta July 28 Many tickets are available through TicketMaster outlets, by calling 828-7700, or online at w w w.ticketmaster.com. Tickets may also be available through Tix Online by calling 278-4TIX or online at w w w.tixonline.com. Night Life listings are subject to change without notice. Deadline for inclusion in Night Life calendar is Tuesday at 4 p.m. Contact Rhonda Jones by calling 738-1142, fa xing 736-0443 or e-mailing to rhonda_jones@metspirit.com.

LUNCH

11:30-2:00 Daily Soups, Salads, Sandwiches, Specials

HAPPY HOUR 4-7 Daily

LIVE ENTERTAINMENT Old Townes Best Kept Secret 349 Telfair Street

706.828.5600

Friday

DJ MARTEE Saturday

Club Directory Adams Nightclub - 738-8811 Aiken Brewing Co. - (803) 502-0707 American Legion Post 63 - 733-9387 The Backyard Tavern - 869-8695 Big Iron Saloon - 774-9020 Bhoomer’s Bar - 364-3854 Borders - 737-6962 Cafe Du Teau - 733-3505 Capri Cinema - Eighth and Ellis Street Charlie O’s - 737-0905 Club Incognito - 836-2469 Coconuts - 738-8133 Coliseum - 733-2603 Continuum - 722-2582 Cot ton Patch - 724-4511 Country Ranch - (803) 867-2388 Coyote’s - 560-9245 Crossroads - 724-1177 Docker’s - (803) 302-1102 D. Timm’s - 774-9500 Eagle’s Nest - 722-5541 Elks Lodge - 855-7162 Euchee Creek Spor ts Bar - 556-9010 Finish Line Cafe - 855-5999 Fishbowl Lounge - 790-6810 Fox’s Lair - 828-5600 Fraternal Order of Eagles - 790-8040 French Market Grille West - 855-5111 Gordon Club - 791-6780 Greene Street’s Lounge - 823-2002 Hangnail Gallery - 722-9899 Highlander - 278-2796 Honky Tonk - 560-0551 Hooters - 736-8454 Jerri’s Place - 722-0088 Joe’s Underground - 724-9457 Kokopelli’s - 738-1881 Last Call - 738-8730

Logan’s Roadhouse - 738-8088 Lucky Ladies Bar and Grill - 651-0110 Marlboro Station - (803) 644-6485 Metro Coffeehouse - 722-6468 Michael's- 733-2860 Modjeska - 303-9700 Mulligan’s Nitelife - 738-1079 Nacho Mama’s - 724-0501 Par tridge Inn - 737-8888 Pat ti’s - 793-9303 Pizza Joint - 774-0037 The Playground - 724-5399 Private I - 793-9944 Rae’s Coastal Cafe - 738-1313 Red Lion Pub - 736-7707 Rhythm and Blues Exchange - 774-9292 Richard’s Place - 793-6330 Robbie’s Spor ts Bar - 738-0866 Ron’s Tavern - (803) 613-0255 Safari Lounge Aiken - (803) 641-1100 Salsa’s Bar & Grill - 855-6868 Shannon's - 860-0698 Shuck's - 724-7589 Sidestreets - 481-8829 Silver Bullet Lounge - 737-6134 Somewhere In Augusta - 739-0002 The Soul Bar - 724-8880 The Spot - (803) 819-0095 Spor ts Pub and Grill - 432-0448 Squeaky’s Tip-Top - 738-8886 Surrey Tavern - 736-1221 TGI Friday’s - 736-8888 Time Piecez - 828-5888 Treybon - 724-0632 Tropical Paradise - 312-8702 Veracruz - 736-4200 Wheeler Tavern - 868-5220 Whiskey Junction - (803) 649-0794

THIS FRIDAY NIGHT

YOUR 9-1 PLAYOFF BOUND AUGUSTA STALLIONS vs.

The Columbus Wardogs CHEERLEADER POSTER NIGHT

JOIN US

95 Rock Presents

41 M E T R O S P I R I T J U N E 2 0 2 0 0 2

at the Augusta Exchange Club Fairgrouds

Saturday, July 6th Gates open at 10am

Tickets

$20 in advance

$25 day of show

Tickets are available at all Bailey's Communications locations, on 95rock.com or by calling 1-866-866-9938

Saturday June 22nd 10am Registration

PUNT/PASS/KICK

At Evans Middle School 10-3 pm Ages 6-15

www.locobazooka.com

42 M E T R O S P I R I T

WEIGHT LOSS STUDY

for those with Type 2 Diabetes Mellitus

We are now accepting overweight and obese individuals with non-insulin dependent, Type 2 diabetes mellitus to participate in a 6-month national weight loss study using an investigational new drug. You will receive study related medical evaluations at no cost, and be compensated for your time.

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90 90 Days Same as Cash Sam 3315 Washington Road 860-1731 C

Life is hectic. Weekends shouldn't have to be. Join Scott Simon for Weekend Edition every Saturday at 8:00 AM on WACG, 90.7 FM. Reclaim your Saturday and hear weekend news, views, and commentary. From gardening tips and film reviews to in-depth news analysis, Peabody Award-winning host Scott Simon eases you into the weekend with a fresh

Photo of Scott Simon by Lisa Berg

perspective.

Call us at (800) 654-3038 or visit us at www.gpb.org for more information about our programming.

News of the

Weird I

n a May dispatch from Cuba, The Wall Street Journal reported that Fidel Castro proposed in 1987 to alleviate a chronic milk shortage by trying to get his scientists to clone the most productive cows, shrunk to the size of dogs so that each family could keep one inside its apartment. The cows would feed on grass grown inside under fluorescent lights. Cuba was the home of the late Ubre Blanca, the Guinness book record-holder as the most milk-productive cow of all time. • A Dutch livestock-breeding-device manufacturer recently began selling a $27 vibrator that supposedly relaxes sows during artificial insemination to increase the chances of fertilization. Said the sales manager at the company Schippers Bladel BV, “Once the vibrator is inserted, the pig’s ears will go up and she will stand ready to be serviced.” The company also makes a remote-controlled plastic pig whose movements, mating sounds and scents supposedly encourage the sow to be serviced. Recent Lack-of-Fashion Statements • Among those arrested in May for inexplicable nudity: a 45-year-old man, driving naked on Interstate 95 (Cocoa, Fla.); a 23year-old man, driving a pickup truck naked over the lawn of the state capitol (Lincoln, Neb.); a woman riding naked atop an SUV (Indianapolis); a 21-year-old prisoner who stripped and jumped against a bulletproof courthouse window in a futile escape attempt (Hillsboro, Mo.); a man in his 20s who ran onto an ice rink naked, interrupting a late-night skating class (Richmond, British Columbia); and a 20-year-old man who broke into a house and immediately removed his clothes (Eugene, Ore.). Compelling Explanations • They’ve Got the Shining: After the body of Chandra Levy was found in a wooded area of Washington, D.C., in May, former Georgia state Rep. Dorothy Pelote, who via a much-maligned psychic vision last year “saw” Levy’s body in a ditch in the woods, said this proves that she has “the gift.” And Fort Lauderdale, Fla., attorney William Cone told reporters in April that Federal Trade Commission fraud charges against his client, the psychic Miss Cleo, are bogus because she actually can see the future. Cone also said his California-born client’s claim to be a Jamaican shaman was true, too, and gave seven possible explanations for that, saying one of them described Miss Cleo, but refusing to tell reporters which one it was. • Testifying at the child pornography trial of John Robin Sharpe in Vancouver, British Columbia, in January, English literature professor James Miller (University of Western Ontario) said Sharpe’s self-published writings were comparable to mainstream literature such as that of Dickens

and Dante. According to Miller, Sharpe’s book “Sam Paloc’s Boyabuse: Flogging, Fun, and Fortitude: A Collection of Kiddie Kink Classics,” was “transgressive literature” that “celebrates, in a ritual way, alternative visions of culture,” “reveal(ing) the seismic ironies in the new world order associated with globalization.” (In March, a judge acquitted Sharpe on his writings but convicted him on two counts of possessing child porn photos.) Not My Fault • In Scranton, Pa., in May, Janice Taylor, who maimed her 4-year-old son in 2000 in a stabbing attack because she thought he was the Antichrist, filed a lawsuit against two psychiatrists and an obstetrician for not giving her enough anti-psychosis medication. Taylor was pregnant at the time she attacked the boy, and her doctors were wary of prescribing more medication for fear it would harm her fetus, but they finally relented and gave small doses of Thorazine. (The baby was born unharmed, even though Taylor made a stab at it, too, plunging the knife into her abdomen.) • According to police in Woodinville, Wash., when Anita Durrett, 42, tried to speed away in her car with $266 worth of groceries shoplifted from an Albertson’s store, an employee pursued her in his car, and when Durrett lost control and crashed at 90 mph, her 9-year-old daughter, riding in the front seat, was killed. Though Durrett has been convicted of vehicular manslaughter, she filed a wrongful-death lawsuit in May against Albertson’s, claiming that they should not have chased her. Latest Rights • Italy’s highest appeals court ruled in April that a 29-year-old out-of-work lawyer still has the right to be housed and financially supported by his parents. The son, Marco Andreoli, owns property and has access to a $200,000 trust fund, but he objected when his father cut off his $675 monthly allowance that had been ordered when his parents divorced, saying he needed it because he had not found a job fulfilling enough. (More than a third of all men in Italy between ages 30 and 34 still live with their parents.) • Born-again-Christian roommates Derrick Mitchell, 38, and Teresa Tafawa, 58, were served eviction notices in May by their landlord in Cornwall, Ontario, because of complaints that they pray loudly and often around the apartment complex. Mitchell says he can’t help himself when he receives “visions,” especially the holy alerts about local devil worship; he said he is moved to speak in a high, quivering voice that Tafawa calls “the ecstasies” and that the pair may pray and sing for several hours a day, even in the laundry room and the parking lot. Said Tafawa, “We try to walk with the Lord all day.” Unclear on the Concept • In April, Judge Gerald Jewers of the Manitoba (Canada) Court of Queen’s Bench awarded Lynette Mary Sant, 55, about $63,000 (U.S.) because she believes very strongly that a company’s chemical vapors made her ill even though the judge admits that there was no evidence that the vapors caused her problems. The judge found Sant’s symptoms were real but that tests exposing Sant to distilled water had the same effect. — Chuck Shepherd © United Press Syndicate

Brezsny's

since 1961, fighting earnestly to save endangered species. Its logo features a panda bear. The World Wrestling Federation launched in 1962, and has made millions of dollars selling staged combats between steroid-inflamed loonies. Its Web site recently touted its bestselling item as the “Undertaker Big Evil Red Devil T-shirt.” So which of these WWFs won the recent skirmish between the two? The good guys! A court ruled that the pandas had a superior claim to the initials WWF, and that the devils had to change their name. It’s now World Wrestling Entertainment. I bring this up, Libra, as proof that sometimes goodness and beauty and truth do triumph. As you navigate an analogous showdown in your own sphere, fight for this possibility with all your might.

Free Will Astrology deceased nightmares. In their prime, they were sour and sickly, yet somehow also breathtaking in their capacity to awaken us. Generous in ways we couldn’t understand till now, they exuded a scary beauty that exposed our crudest ignorance and provoked our greatest resourcefulness. Now, in death, those nightmares will serve us anew, as they decay into lush compost that will fertilize an eruption of wickedly tender brainstorms in the coming weeks.

ARIES (March 21-April 19)

Here are the three most important questions for you to carry around with you in the coming weeks, Aries. Keep them simmering in the back of your mind at all times; expect life to bring you juicy clues that’ll provide the exact answers you need. 1. What are you always afraid you’re going to run out of? 2. What if it’s true that being afraid the good stuff will run out is the factor most likely to make it run out? 3. How would your life change if you were able to conquer that fear?

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

There’s a lot of Scorpio envy out there, isn’t there? Think of all the people who try to make you feel guilty for being so vivid and alive, simply because they secretly want to be like you but know they could never handle the intensity. I want you to take a break from all that negative reinforcement this week, baby. I want you to surround yourself with fascinating, strong-willed movers and shakers who not only aren’t afraid of your unnerving beauty, but actually thrive on it. You need and deserve this fierce acceptance. It is not a luxury you can do without.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

There are few things more pleasing to my heart than to observe children running for joy in the great outdoors. They’re not competing in a race. They’re not trying to save time or lose weight or stay in shape. The thrill of summoning all their energy to zip along as the wind flows by them is all the reward they seek. On the other hand, I don’t like to see kids dashing around with scissors in their hands — not even if they’re running for joy in the great outdoors. This week, Leo, I bid you to be like my first example, not the second.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

It’s a perfect moment to have your leaks plugged, your stains cleaned, your spark plugs changed, your love songs rewritten, your white lies atoned for, your fears massaged, and your vain hopes subjected to a dose of reality therapy. But don’t worry; the imminent future is not merely about repair and retooling. It will also be a favorable time to get your load lightened, your untold stories heard, your debt cancelled, your apologies accepted, your fantasy life refurbished, your wildness restored, your volume turned up, and your feet kissed.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

Life is totally unfair, and you will soon be living proof of that, Sagittarius — in reverse, that is! Wild cards and X-factors will fall at your feet, in your lap, and on your head. You’re likely to attract a kind of extravagant, unpredictable luck that will almost make no sense. You’ll have such incisive intuition and impeccable timing that it may almost seem as if there’s a cosmic conspiracy working behind the scenes to make you happy and fulfilled. The only potential downside is that envious people may accuse you of having an unnatural advantage or reaping more than your rightful share. Fortunately, your charm levels will be so high that you can probably disarm their resentment.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

It was easy to unearth your oracle, Virgo. After taking one look at your astrological aspects, I knew all I had to do was turn to the word “gist” in my thesaurus. “Core,” it read, “kernel, sap, meat, nub, pith, marrow.” Every one of those terms describes where you should be heading in the coming weeks. Ah, but here’s the rub. If you feel more comfortable on the outskirts and peripheries, or if you prefer to make a name for yourself from dealing with subordinates and hangers-on, then you may freak out when given the chance to be at the heart of the action. I pray, though, that you will summon the chutzpah to dive into where you belong.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

I would gladly authorize you to take a giant leap of faith over the abyss this week, Gemini — as long as you’d also promise to wear a parachute. I’d blithely urge you to make a wish under a waterfall and worship at the feet of a sexy idol — as long as you wear a flotation device and as long as the idol agrees to worship at your feet, too. In conclusion, I would heartily dare you to risk extravagant adventures — as long as you maintain a crisp system of checks and balances.

CANCER (June 21-July 22)

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Join me now in a moment of silence, my fellow Cancerian, as we commemorate our recently

In recent weeks you’ve been good — maybe a little too good, actually — about obeying all the

The World Wildlife Fund has been around

New York Times Crossword Puzzle ACROSS

1 Melville megalomaniac 5 He’s found in books 10 One kind is slippery 13 Fat cat 15 Ruhr-al city? 16 Sine ___ non 17 With 23-Across, story about a noisy snorer? 19 Prefix with cellular 20 It’s tossed at Spanish restaurants 21 Missouri River tributary 23 See 17-Across 26 Retainer, e.g. 29 Berne sight 30 Modern camera setting

31 Belief of more than 5 million Americans 33 Pound sound 34 Fashion designer Vera 38 Chap who’s a skilled lumberjack? 42 Author Dinesen 43 Add-on 44 Family name in “Brideshead Revisited” 45 Make ___ dash 47 Fig. of interest 49 1970 Sportsman of the Year 50 Tendency to “lose it”? 55 Farm letters? 56 Kind of relationship 60 Bustle

ANSWER TO PREVIOUS PUZZLE S H I P

H O W E

A S O K

M A N E D

A N D S O

A M M A N

M A O R I

A F O R

V A N E

F E S T T H E C A D H I C I L A M O U A S S N T E

N N A E R W T A C U D A R I R O R E S R E H E P A A N S L A I S R

C H O R E S G A L O S H

C H A P H A L I E R E T E T H A M A L T I M M O B E A R A G R U B S A C E O N E T W O R E L L I A S S E

E C H O

L E E S

A N I L S

E S S E S

I D O S

S S N S

61 “Ain’t Misbehavin’” composer misbehaving? 64 Alternative to Bowser 65 Sporting blades 66 Maine’s ___ Bay 67 Mr., abroad 68 Powders 69 Store originally in Herald Square

DOWN

1 A chip, maybe 2 Nuclear fission Nobelist Otto 3 Fortas, Vigoda, etc. 4 Gauchos’ weapons 5 Gardening tool 6 “Duck soup!” 7 It was dropped in the 60’s 8 “Jubilate ___” (hymn of praise) 9 Hoofing it 10 Match 11 Fencing move 12 Gold medalist skier Hermann 14 Ralph of “Sunrise at Campobello” 18 Mythical mother of the Titans 22 Inchmeal 24 Word with bone or court 25 Piqued state 26 Suva’s land 27 Those, to Muñoz 28 “Pure ___,” 1994 jazz album

24 29

10 16

63 66 69

Puzzle by Cathy Millhauser

32 Potassium hydroxide is one 33 Popular ISP 35 Designer Gucci 36 At no time, poetically 37 Boxer’s warning 39 Fire hat, hose, ax, etc. 40 Delta 88, e.g. 41 Wandering 46 Asked “Got milk?”, maybe 47 “Gunsmoke” star 48 Squint

Long time King ___ (bird) Pope of 1605 For rent Hawaiian coffees 57 Thessalian peak 50 51 52 53 54

58 Cutlet? 59 Grandson of Adam 62 Homer Simpson’s Indian friend 63 French article

Answers to any clues in this puzzle are available by touch-tone phone: 1-900-285-5656 ($1.20 per minute). Annual subscriptions are available for the best of Sunday crosswords from the last 50 years: 1-888-7-ACROSS.

signs, remaining loyal to reliable sources even when they weren’t helpful, and averting your eyes from the places where you weren’t “supposed” to look. But in the coming days, Capricorn, I’d appreciate it if you did just the opposite. Question every rule, please; even if you ultimately follow it, at least subject it to intense scrutiny. And about those reliable sources: Don’t dump them unceremoniously, but on the other hand, do hold them to higher standards. As far as the sights you’ve been politely avoiding: Explore them with piercing curiosity.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

This horoscope has a complicated theme, Aquarius, but I think you, of all people, can handle it. Just to make sure you understand what the cosmic forces are trying to tell you, I’ll present the same basic message from five different angles. 1. Have fun as you foment benevolent rebellion. 2. Do good even as you tamper with the status quo. 3. Blend the moral perspective of a humanitarian with the rowdy helpfulness of a kind trickster. 4. Shake everyone up with the infectious cheer of your righteous teasing. 5. Be an unpredictable, joy-dispensing, fear-dispersing troublemaker.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

I wish I could get one of those 11 newly discovered moons of Jupiter named after you. I wish I could sell NBC a sitcom based on the story of your life. I wish I could rent you your own personal Buddhist monk to pray for you three hours a day and fix you sacred desserts ten times a week. I’d love for you to be able to know what it’s like to be fought over by two smart, attractive suitors. Unfortunately, I’m not rich and powerful enough to lavish you with these and all the other wonderful gifts you deserve. So please, Pisces, bestow countless treats on yourself. The planetary omens practically demand that you be showered with blessings, but they don’t necessarily say the blessings will come from other people. — © Rob Brezsny You Can Call Rob Brezsny, day or night, for your Expanded Weekly Horoscope

1-900-950-7700

$1.99 per minute • 18 & over • Touchtone phone required • C/S 612-373-9785 • www.freewillastrology.com/

43 M E T R O S P I R I T J U N E 2 0 2 0 0 2

44 M E T R O S P I R I T J U N E 2 0 2 0 0 2

Do You Get I t? If You Don’t Get The Metropolitan Spirit ... You Just Don’t Get It!

’ve been with my husband for 13 of my 38 years, and married to him for eight. Throughout our marriage, I was the one who got up and went to work every day while he stayed home doing virtually nothing. I accepted this until recently, after I finally bought a house. I told him he had to get a job. Eventually, he did; it lasted three months. I kicked him out and demanded a divorce. His sister wrote me an e-mail telling me how terrible I was to treat him so poorly. Poorly? For 13 years I gave 110 percent to our relationship while he floated along! When I finally have one year where I can’t take it, that’s all that matters. Now, I hear he wants to go back to school. I love him despite his laziness, and I want him back ... especially now that he’s trying to change. Unfortunately, he listens to every thing his sister says, and she’s against us getting back together. How do I get him to come home? —Bond Ambition You married a human throw-pillow — a guy whose ambitions appear to be limited to switching from ESPN to ESPN2. Let’s just hope, af ter you came home from a long day pulling a plow through the corporate fields, he didn’t star t whimpering, “Jeez, is my thumb wiped out, or what?” Don’t you realize that you gave your husband the heave-ho for being exactly the same man-cushion you married? You had five years to veto spending your life with someone whose motivational level compares unfavorably to a slice of half-eaten bread. (At least bread makes it its business to rise.) But, there you were, af ter eight years of marriage, expecting Not-Quite-Half-Bread to turn into a breadwinner. This is akin to expecting your couch to grow wings and 747 engines so you can jet of f to Paris and pick up some fresh croissants. It makes about as much sense as your determination to lure back a grown man so lazy he uses his sister as his surrogate thinker. Imagine, if you’d just met him, how you’d brag about him to a girlfriend: “Well, it’s not like he just lies around doing nothing all day. He does eat, sleep, and brush his teeth from time to time!” Of course, there is that lone bright spot bobbing on the upholstered horizon: the possibility that he’ll go

back to school. Yeah, af ter for ty-some years of remaining relatively motionless, he’s sure to sprint of f to class every day at 8am to begin working toward his Ph.D. in chemical engineering — one third of his triple major in nuclear medicine and international law. You’re in quite the panic to get back to accepting this guy for every thing he isn’t. You call this love, but you don’t really love him — you just miss playing mule to his gentleman farmer, because that’s what you’re used to, and that’s all you think you deserve. It is time you did a lit tle bonding, but not with your life-sized replica of a husband. Get a copy of Robin Norwood’s ex tremely instructive book, “Women Who Love Too Much,” and become at one with your couch until you’ve read and annotated every page. You won’t be ready to get into any relationship until you get a lit tle bet ter at relationship math: 100 percent is supposed to divide into approximately 50/50, not into one person exchanging 110 percent for another’s talent for hiding ugly couch crevices under his large, iner t form.

I’m 21, and my ex-girlfriend is 35. We were very much in love, but our age difference was too much for us. She has three kids and is ready to be completely settled. I’m just starting out. We tried to break up many times before our final split. Finally, we had to follow through. We’ve only spoken twice since the breakup, and both times stirred up old feelings. I know I have to get over her. I think if we start seeing each other more as friends, it may make it easier. —Little Boy Blue “Being friends” is a cousin of “being spiritual,” a term irritating people use as shor thand for “I have a tendency to light a lot of candles that smell like a cross between patchouli and old feet.” The last thing you want from your ex is friendship, but you know that proposing it will go over bet ter than asking her, “You up for a lit tle backslide into futility and pain?” As long as she’s in grabbing distance, you’ll have a tough time let ting go of her. If you aren’t strong enough to avoid being her “friend,” you might fall back on “being spiritual.” If all else fails, that special scent of the superior consciousness is sure to drive her away! — © 2002, Amy Alkon

Got A Problem? Write Amy Alkon 171 Pier Ave., Box 280 • Santa Monica, CA 90405 or e-mail AdviceAmy@aol.com

45 M E T R O S P I R I T J U N E 2 0

LOOK NO FURTHER Outgoing BF, 40, 5’7”, height/weight proportionate, childless, kindredspirit. Likes cooking, dining, fun activities, volleyball, long walks. Seeking BM, 37-45, with similar interests. Ad# 3707 FUN WITH YOU SF, 40, enjoys many activities, searching for energetic, outgoing, friendly SM, 35-50, to get to know better for friendship, possibly more. Ad# 4081 WAITING TO HAPPEN Smart, funny, down-toearth SF, 35, enjoys reading, traveling, running, searching for SM, 30-45, for conversation and companionship. Ad# 4082 MAKE IT LAST Fun-loving, outgoing SWF, 48, 5’4”, 145lbs., blonde hair, has many interests. ISO SWM, 3650, for a possible serious LTR. Ad# 4086 LIFE CAN’T WAIT SWPF, easygoing, employed, enjoys flea markets, church, fun events. ISO SCM, N/S, 56-65. Full of love. Ad# 4069 TODAYS THE DAY SBPF, 32, new to area, children, seeks a good man, 32-45. Seriousminded only need apply. Ad# 4061 HELLO TALL MEN! 5’4”, full-figured, brown hair, friendly, 28, SWF, grad student going for Masters, varied interests, animals. ISO N/S SWM, 24-33. Ad# 4060

GOOD-HEARTED DWF, 61, 5’9”, honest, neat in appearance, with a good sense of humor. ISO D/SWM, 60-70, who’s honest and caring. Ad# 3697 SPRING FEVER SWF, early 40s, 5’6”, 136lbs., college educated, extroverted, enjoys camping, country living, animals, traveling. Seeking similar SWM, 40-50, with similar interests. Ad# 3696 MAKE SOMEONE HAPPY SWF, 5’7”, red hair, green eyes, full-figured, 34, good-looking, clean, sociable, enjoys quiet times, sewing, movies, cooking, ISO SM, 32-43. Ad# 4041

BE MY BOYFRIEND Shy, soft-spoken, 39, fullfigured BF, 5’8”, N/S, children at home, enjoys church, fishing, movies, ISO BM, honest, 30-55, drug-free, N/D. Ad# 4026

WISHING YOU THE BEST SBF, 40, 5’7”, outgoing, likes walking, concerts, plays, church, seeking respectful, active SBM, 38-44, with good morals. Ad# 3632

WAITING FOR YOU Attractive BF, 28, 5’7”, medium build, enjoys dining, cooking, shopping, music and good conversations. Seeking SBM, 34-58, for sincere friendship. Ad# 3675

HERE WITH ME Sweet, open, outgoing, intelligent SBF, 20, 5’5”, 130lbs., likes movies, dining out, walking, searching for cute SWM, 18-30. Ad# 3646

BE MY KING Are you SBM, 38-49, seeking a serious relationship? I’m an attractive, very outgoing BF, 43, who enjoys dining, reading, sports. Ad# 3674 1 THING LEADS 2 Another! Start as friends with this BF, 26, who likes cuddling and quality times. Looking to meet a compatible M, 20-55. Ad# 3664

MY HEART’S DREAM SBF, 38, 155lbs., 5’2”, reddish blonde, warm, fun, writer, enjoys life, bowling, basketball, music, singing, ISO SM, 25-44. Ad# 4046

SHY AT FIRST BF, 42, enjoys evenings out, movies, reading and attending church. Seeks SBM, 42-52, with similar interests, for relationship. Ad# 3672

NO NONSENSE GIRL SBF, 20, 5’7”, 145lbs., medium size, sociable, ISO outgoing, spontaneous, fun-loving, humorous, honest, seriousminded SM, 20-35. Leave message. Ad# 4056

JUST FRIENDS Attractive SWF, 28, 128lbs., N/S, with no kids, enjoys movies and the outdoors. ISO SWM, 1832, to build a friendship with. Ad# 2824

DREAMS INTO REALITY Quiet, reserved SBF, 46, author, loves swimming, boating, tennis, long walks, the gym, cake decorating, keyboard, ISO 40-52, thoughtful guy. Ad# 4053 ISO OF A CHALLENGE Attractive BPF, physically fit, petite, enjoys movies, dining out, traveling, shopping. ISO white collar, WPM, 36-50, 5’9”+. Ad# 3693 WOMAN WITH CHARACTER SBF, 40, college, enjoys many interests. ISO quality times with SM, 38-45. Ad# 4033

ANSWER MY PRAYER Attractive S ebony woman, 29, 5’3”, black hair, loves reading, church, going out. ISO man, 28-35. Christian a plus. Ad# 3560

D C S WW LTR

BE HONEST SF, 60, enjoys good conversations, going to Church, yard sales, music, seeking SM, 5070, N/S, likes to go to Church. Ad# 3606

HONESTY A MUST SWF, 42, 5’4”, 180lbs., long-haired, hardworking, easygoing, likes animals, dining, quiet times, laughter, the lake. Seeks N/S, honest SWM, 35-45. Ad# 3590

ABBREVIATIONS Black Hispanic Asian Professional Non-Drinker Native American

HAPPY ME SWF, 5’6”, 138lbs., green eyes, reddish blond hair, enjoys movies, walks and good conversation. ISO SWM, 40-55, honest and outgoing. Ad# 3605

HAPPY TOGETHER Laid-back, easygoing SWF, 32, 5’7”, plus-sized, brown hair/eyes, enjoys movies, bowling, baking, looking for sincere, honest SM, 32-45. Ad# 3633

or e-mail us at support@nvsmedia.com. Please include x533 in the subject line. B H A P N/D NA

ROMANTIC? CALL ME! Friendly BF, 46, 5’8”, 170lbs., hobbies are music, bands, picnics and walking. Seeking BM, 4050, for friendship. Ad# 3615

CAN IT BE YOU? SBF, 49, 5’5”, enjoys life, dining, church, parks, walks, seeking similar in SM, 55-60, maybe LTR. Ad# 3650

For customer service, call 1-800-783-6019 ext.533

Male Female White Jewish In search of... Non-smoker

BEHIND MY BLUE EYES Slim, attractive DWF, 46, auburn hair, blue eyes, ISO DWM, 46-56, to spend time with. Are you ready? Ad# 2818

GOOD GIRL HUNTING SWF, attractive, blonde, hazel eyes, looks 35, 5’4”, 140lbs. Seeking tall, handsome WM, 32-42, with old-fashioned values, enjoys having fun. Ad# 2813

To purchase more than your free 20 words, at $1.00 per word, please send your name, address, phone # and personal ad, along with a check or money order (payable to NVS Interactive Media) or Visa or MasterCard, including expiration date and signature to PO Box 1571, Ext. 533, Williamsville, NY 14231. (10 word minimum / 45 word maximum)

M F W J ISO N/S

HERE WITH ME SWF, 43, 5’2”, full-figured, outgoing, fun, easygoing, likes yard sales, cooking, flea markets. Desires SWM, 44-52, to share good times with. Ad# 3628

Divorced Christian Single Widowed Long-term Relationship Double Dater

FOR GOOD COMPANY SWF, 62, 5’6”, 130lbs., adventurous, into gardening, antiques, dining, sports. Seeks SWM, 5575, for conversation, friendship. Ad# 3591 NO GAME PLAYERS Fun-loving, honest, loyal SWCF, 46, 5’4”, 160lbs., brown hair, loves camping, fishing, NASCAR, looking for serious, sincere SWCM, 38-55. Ad# 3558 WHERE ARE YOU? SBF, 29, 5’3”, likes going to church, reading, sports, seeking SBM, 2835, with similar interests, to get to know better. Ad# 3560

ISO MR. RIGHT Shy, laid-back SBF, 23, 5’9”, 195lbs., loves music, traveling, bowling, movies, dining out, looking for SBM, 23-35, with similar qualities. Ad# 3565 TABLE FOR TWO SWF, 57, 5’4”, blond hair, green eyes, easygoing, outgoing, enjoys cooking, fishing, reading, NASCAR, ISO honest, respectful S/DWM, 57-65. Ad# 3563 GENTLEMAN FOR ME? WWWF, 60, smoker, attractive, blonde, enjoys dancing, learning golf, socializing, the outdoors, seeking WPM, 50s-60s, mustache or beard a plus. Ad# 3557 LOOKING 4 LOVE SWF, 22, outgoing, fun, looking for SWM, 25-35, for friendship, possible LTR. Ad# 3193 GIVE ME A CALL SWF, 50, looking for friendship, possible LTR with SWM, 48-53. Ad# 3196 BEING YOURSELF SBF, 27, N/S, 5’6”, 180lbs., brown eyes/hair, open-minded, fun-loving, enjoys bowling, poetry, movies, quiet evenings. Seeking strong-minded SBM, 26-39. Ad# 3195 PICK UP THE PHONE All thoughtful, respectful, drug-free SBPCM, 40-55, this SBF, 49, 5’4”, 165lbs., N/S, who enjoys dining, music, picnics, bowling, softball, wants you. Ad# 3200 MUCH MORE!! SWF, 32, 5’3”, full-figured, reddish/brown hair, brown eyes, enjoys swimming, poetry, horseback riding, shooting pool. ISO secure, respectful SWM, 29-49. Ad# 3187 NO GAMES!! SBF, 33, N/S, full-figured, enjoys reading, long drives, the outdoors, seeking caring, understanding SBM, 25-38. Ad# 3551 SOMEONE JUST FOR ME DWPF, 44, 5’5”, 135lbs., very pretty, ethereal, enjoys gardening, reading, working, animals. ISO SCM, 40-50, with similar interests. Ad# 2809 A STRONG WOMAN SBF, 28, 5’10”, 170lbs., outgoing, friendly, sociable, enjoys running, walking, biking, movies. Seeks SM, 24-37, for friendship. Ad# 3174 ISO MILITARY MAN Down-to-earth SF, 39, drug-free, looking for military SM, 28-42, in good shape, knows what he wants in life, for fun and LTR. Ad# 3176

We Purchase Fine Swiss Watches, Estate Jewelry and Diamonds.

Monday-Saturday 10am-9pm 2635 Washington Road | Augusta, Georgia 30904 | 706.738.7777 www.windsorjewelers.net WE SHOULD MEET SWF, 30, 5’5”, full-figured, shy, into movies, reading, intelligent conversation, basketball. Seeks SM, 28-39, confident, for friendship. Ad# 3159 ALL THIS AND MORE SWF, 33, 5’3”, 125lbs., green-eyed redhead, affectionate, ambitious, student, enjoys travel, sporting events. Seeking SM, 30-43, honest, friendly, intelligent, familyoriented. Ad# 3164 NO GAMES PLEASE! SBF, 32, outgoing, downto-earth, smoker, likes long walks, church, travel, cooking, dining. Seeking SHM, 30-45, stable, secure, for friendship. Ad# 3171 WAIT AND SEE SWF, 62, 5’6”, blond hair, blue eyes, loves camping, fishing, boating, walking, seeking SWM, 70, with similar interests. Ad# 3156 UNDER THE STARS SWF, 52, enjoys fishing, dancing, spending time with grand children, seeking SWM, 50-58, to spend quality time with. Ad# 3144 CAN WE MEET? SWF, 57, 5’4”, blonde, personable, loves reading fiction, dancing. Seeks SWM, 57-63, for friendship. Ad# 3132 WERE U BORN 6/20/51? Tall, slim, attractive woman, auburn hair, light complexioned, seeking tall, attractive WM, born June 20, 1951. No other responders please! Ad# 2771 LOOKING FOR YOU HF, 28, brown hair, likes good conversations, sports, and having fun. Looking to build a friendship with a SBM, 20-40. Ad# 3084 MAKE ME SMILE BF, 23, has a great personality, likes laughter and having fun. Seeking SM, 24-35, for friendship, possibly more. Ad# 3087 GETTING TO KNOW U WF, 26, 5’8”, 155lbs., red hair, green eyes, enjoys traveling, sports, and spending time with friends. Searching for a SM, 23-36. Ad# 3106

WORTH YOUR WHILE Friendly, easygoing, laidback SWF, 20, 5’5”, 150lbs., brown hair, blue eyes, loves music, dancing, horseback riding, ISO SWM, 22-26. Ad# 3099 WAITING TO HAPPEN DWF, 45, 5’4”, brown hair, green eyes, likes sports, music, dining out, searching for serious, honest, hardworking SWM, 4055. Ad# 3107 TAKE MY BREATH AWAY Hardworking WF, 38, 5’4”, 100lbs., brown hair/eyes, enjoys biking, watersports, cooking, and travel. ISO WM, 35-50, for possible LTR. Ad# 2767 BE MY FRIEND SWF, 56, 5’4”, 160lbs., green-eyed, personable, loves dancing, reading. Seeks SWM, 62+, for friendship. Ad# 3059 LOVING YOU BF, 25, 5’10”, 170lbs., seeks a BM, 25-35, who is honest and trustworthy, for quality time and romance. Ad# 3046 NEEDING YOU Outgoing, friendly, BF, 5’8”, likes dining out, movies, basketball and long walks. Looking for M, 21-31, with similar interests. Ad# 3049 LOVES GOD Hazel-eyed brunette DWCF, 48, 5’7”, enjoys nature, cooking, movies, reading. ISO honest, financially secure SCM, 45-55, for friends first, possible LTR. Ad# 3051 TREAT ME RIGHT! Outgoing DWF, 37, N/S, has kids, seeks true, honest, stable SWM, 28-48, N/S, for dining, movies, walks, and quiet times. Ad# 3035 SHARE WITH ME Brown-eyed SBF, 26, 5’, 100lbs., humorous, likes good conversations, 3-D puzzles, movies, reading. ISO SWM, 21-28, for quality time. Ad# 3006 GOOD-HEARTED SWF, 44, 5’2”, 145lbs., redhead, green-eyed, humorous, enjoys reading, the outdoors. Seeking SM, 35-52, with similar interests. Ad# 3009

LET’S CUDDLE WF, 41, 5’6”, 138lbs., hazel eyes, brown hair, outgoing, likes cooking, fishing, hunting, NASCAR. ISO SWM, 3748, for friendship. Ad# 3014 LET’S HAVE FUN BF, 20, 5’6”, 140lbs., friendly, loves having fun, likes movies, dining, bowling, sports. ISO SWM, 18-36, with similar interests. Ad# 3021 GIVE ME A CHANCE BF, 55, 5’1”, 145lbs., brown-eyed, friendly, outgoing, enjoys dancing, movies, walks. ISO SBM, 55-60, who’s easygoing, understanding, friendship first. Ad# 3028 ISO A GOOD MAN Outgoing SBF, 18, N/S, fun-loving, enjoys movies, dancing and wrestling. ISO SBM, 19-20, who likes the same things. Ad# 2979 LET’S BE FRIENDS SBF, 21, new in town, 5’8”, 195lbs., enjoys movies, music, long walks and more. ISO SBM, 2030, for friendship first. Ad# 2992 CAN WE GET TOGETHER SWF, 53, 5’, 145lbs., shy, loves the outdoors, mountains, traveling. ISO SM, 48-68, who’s tall, honest, sincere, for possible LTR. Ad# 2964 CAREER MINDED SWF, 30, 5’6”, blonde hair, blue eyes, 135lbs., enjoys golf, tennis, music, outdoors, traveling, dining. ISO SWPM, 27-36, for friendship. Ad# 2976 STRONG WILL SBF, 45, outgoing, attractive, youthful, enjoys writing, music, traveling. Seeking mature, strongwilled SBM, 35-48, for friendship. Ad# 2956 LET’S GET TOGETHER! Outgoing, humorous SBF, 24, 5’5”, 135lbs., N/S, enjoys writing and sports. Seeking independent, affectionate SM, 20-36, for LTR. Ad# 2948

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This publication is a community, family publication. Anything appearing in Datemaker must be appropriate for all ages. Participants in Datemaker must be 18 years or older. Datemaker is restricted to individuals seeking personal, monogamous relationships. The publisher reserves the right to edit or reject ads and voice introductions that do not meet the standards of acceptance of this newspaper. This publication assumes no liability for the content or reply of a personal advertisement. Readers and advertisers may wish to consider taking appropriate safeguards in responding to ads and arranging meetings. Callers to the 1-900 system will be charged $1.99 per minute on their monthly phone bill. Touchtone phone callers will be given instructions on how to respond to a specific ad, browse male or female greetings and use Datematch. For best reception, cordless telephones are not recommended. Use of this column for business solicitation will be prosecuted. CH/AS 6/14/02 533

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"Continued from previous page" ISO CARING GENTLEMAN Pleasant SWF, 71, 5’5”, 125lbs., brown hair/eyes, enjoys fishing. Seeks caring, giving SWM, 69-74, for friendship, card playing, dining out. Ad# 2744 DOWN HOME GIRL DBF, 48, 5’6”, 175lbs., no kids, loves dining out, football, gardening. Seeking SBCM, for companionship. Ad# 2904 LONELY IN NEED Aiken resident, WWWF, 74, easygoing, youthful, enjoys gardening, crafts, flea markets, yard sales, walking. ISO WM, 65+. Ad# 2737 CALLING MR. RIGHT Full-figured, 48 year-old WWWF, seeking SWPM, 45-65, for companionship and possible LTR. Enjoys music, movies, walks and travel. Ad# 2739 ISO UNIQUE MAN Attractive SBF, 35, likes dining, sports, going out. Seeking attractive, openminded, sensitive M, 3045, for friendship or more. Local calls only. Ad# 2735 MAKE ME SMILE SWF, 27, 5’10”, brown hair/eyes, shy at first, likes fishing, camping. Seeking SM, 25-37, for fun and possibly more. Ad# 2913 CARES ABOUT OTHERS SWF, 37, 5’8”, 185lbs., long auburn hair, friendly, cheerful, honest, sincere, loves reading, writing, traveling. ISO honest SM, 30-45. Ad# 2922 WELCOME TO MY LIFE SWCF, 47, 5’9”, 120lbs., green eyes, no children, seeking N/S SWCM, 3050, for friendship and possibly more. Ad# 2901 YOU NEED TO CALL SWF, 45, 5’9”, 165lbs., brown hair/eyes, outgoing, social, enjoys a variety of activities. Seeking active, fun, tall SWM, 4050. Ad# 2905 ARE YOU TRUSTWORTHY? Honest, loyal SWF, 45, 5’4”, 155lbs., brown hair, loves to sing, dance, swim, fish. ISO SWM, 3855, for companionship. Ad# 2909

GIVE ME A CALL SBM, 37, 6’5”, 265lbs., brown hair, likes music, sports, quiet times at home, looking for SF, 2740, for good conversation and possibly more. Ad# 4093 LOOKING FOR YOU SBM, 35, 6’1”, 175lbs., shy at first, friendly, outgoing, likes movies, sports, looking for honest, sweet SF, 23-43. Ad# 4094 LET’S ENJOY LIFE SAM, 23, 5’6”, 150lbs., has a wide variety of interests. Seeking outgoing SF, 18-35, with a good sense of humor. Ad# 4073 WHAT DO YOU LIKE Fun, outgoing SM, 18, blond hair, loves music, movies, seeking SF, 1825, for fun, friendship, possible LTR. Ad# 4079 LOVE AND HAPPINESS SWM, 25, 5’11”, 180lbs., brown hair/eyes, likes the arts, photography, nature and movies. ISO caring, honest SWF, 18-28. Ad# 4085

LOOKING FOR YOU SBM, 18, 6’2”, 170lbs., enjoys traveling, movies, pets, long walks, looking for SF, 18-21, to get to know better. Ad# 4083 MAKE IT HAPPEN Friendly, outgoing SWM, 25, 5’10”, 155lbs., brown hair, blue eyes, medium build, likes sports, going out, ISO SWF, 20-32. Ad# 4091 NEW GUY IN TOWN SM, 26, 6’1”, 205lbs., black hair, enjoys movies, reading and evenings out. Seeking SF, 25-30, to show me around town. Ad# 3700 STAND PROUD Military man, B, 6’1”, 205lbs., black hair, nice smile, enjoys reading, laughter, basketball, seeking lady, 20-28. Let’s chill! Ad# 4067 COOL DUDE Crazy, sexy SBM, 26, 5’8”, 155lbs., goodshape, lifts weights, gym, music, cooks, good food and movies. ISO SF, 1835, with similar interests. Ad# 4063 EYES RIGHT HERE WM, 33, loves music, cars, seeking SF, 28-35, decent, nice person, same interests. Be yourself. Ad# 4039 SAIL WITH ME Blue-eyed WM, 6’1”, retired, no kids, enjoys sailing on yacht, water sports. ISO similar in lady, 25-35. Ad# 4045 SHARE MY LOVE SWM, 60, ISO F, 18-50, knows how to laugh and have a nice time together. Ad# 4042 LISTEN UP Enjoys bowling, plus more. SM, 22, 6’3”, 165lbs., dark brown hair, outgoing, construction worker, ISO SF, 22-35. Ad# 3689 HIT ME UP Augusta boy. Chocolate M, 21, ISO F, 18-45. Ad# 4027 GOOD LISTENER Physically fit WM, 6’, 185lbs., blue eyes, in sales, degreed, easygoing, fun-loving, loves cooking out, dancing, dining, simple pleasures. ISO romantic WF, 35-55. Ad# 3691 GIVE YOUR BEST SHOT Loves ball games, dining, fishing, going out. Have fun times with a special lady, 25-42. All inquiries answered. Ad# 3678 MAGIC MOMENTS Down-to-earth WM, 60, 5’8”, 165lbs., enjoys movies, sports, long walks, dining, quiet evenings at home. Seeking SWF, 53-60, for possible LTR. Ad# 2827 MUST BE STABLE SBM, 39, 6’4”, 250lbs., outgoing, energetic, open-minded, friendly, likes having fun. Seeks lady who’s energetic, open-minded, attractive and financially secure. Ad# 3651 FINANCIALLY SECURE Handsome SBM, 21, 5’10”, 150lbs., seeks a very beautiful SHF, 19-29, for casual dating, maybe more. Ad# 3655 ARE YOU THE ONE? Down-to-earth, outgoing SBM, 36, 5’7”, 180lbs., bald, likes bowling, basketball, etc. Seeks slim, outgoing SBF, 30-45. Ad# 3662 MAGIC AND ROMANCE SBM, 24, 5’7”, 168lbs., enjoys movies, working out and music. ISO honest, down-to-earth, childless SF, 25-35, N/S, for friendship first. Ad# 2822

HERE I AM Retired DWM, 60, 185lbs., likes traveling, animals, going to church, seeks a nice, lovely lady, for companionship. Ad# 3645

NO LIES! Down-to-earth BM, 34, ISO a LTR with a SF, 2147, who wants a serious relationship without head games. Ad# 3622

CALL ME SBM, 39, very pleasant, lovable, likes sports, plays, dramas, seeks a nice lady with a beautiful smile, down-to-earth. Ad# 3580

HELLO LADIES!! WM, 30, with blond hair, enjoys beaches, dancing, movies and dining. Looking to meet a SF, 2238, for friendship. Ad# 3618

LET’S ENJOYS LIFE SWM, 31, 5’8”, 180lbs., brown hair, green eyes, outgoing, enjoys movies, dining out, seeks outgoing, funny SWF, 25-45. Ad# 3613

WISH UPON THE STARS Outgoing SWM, 48, 5’10”, 189lbs., enjoys mountains, beaches, the outdoors, seeking SF, 35-55, with similar interests. Ad# 3599

ARE YOU THE 1? SWM, 26, 6’, 165lbs., brown hair, green eyes, outgoing, fun, likes sports, shooting pool, movies, romantic evenings, looking for SWF, 21-28. Ad# 3572

COUNTRY LIVING SWM, 37, 6’, brown hair, hazel eyes, 215lbs., likes the outdoors, country music, NASCAR, fishing, hunting, seeks homebody SWF, 28-45. Ad# 3048

ISO YOU SHCM, 51, loves cooking, working out, martial arts, seeking sweet, caring SF, 30-55, to spend the rest of my life with. Ad# 3575

GOING TO THE RACES! SWM, 23, 5’10”, 150lbs., adventurous, smoker, likes the outdoors, sports, racing, dining, wrestling, movies. Seeking outgoing SF, 18-35, for friendship. Ad# 3172

NEW TO ADS Outgoing, fun SBM, 38, 5’8”, black hair, 165lbs., government job, looking for SF, 28-40. What do you like to do? Ad# 3199

LET’S MEET Secure, good-natured SWM, 26, 6’2”, blue-eyed, sandy blond hair. Seeks ambitious SF, 19-27. Ad# 3080

www.metspirit.com

www.metspirit.com VERY UNIQUE DBM, 45, N/S, N/D, likes sports, movies, dining out, sports, looking for SBF, 35-50, with same interests. Ad# 3589 THE CAT’S MEOW SWM, 41, 5’11”, blue eyes, no baggage, educated, enjoys biking, travel, cats, aviation. Seeks SF, 30-45. Gardening, cooking A+. Ad# 3654 HARDWORKING MAN SWM, 36, brown hair/eyes, tall, 185lbs., people person, employed, ISO SF, 24-37, intelligent, pretty, with mixed interests. Friendship first. Ad# 3653 WAITING FOR THE ONE SWM, 37, 5’4”, 135lbs., brown hair, blue eyes, likes camping, fishing, hiking, NASCAR, looking for N/S SWF, 30-37. Ad# 3631 LIVE FOR LOVE Friendly SWM, 37, 5’10”, 220lbs., brown hair, hazel eyes, likes building motorcycles, outdoor activities, searching for SWF, 27-45. Ad# 3625 ROMANCE IS ALIVE DWPM, 56, educated, cultured, seeks WF for LTR and romantic adventure. I’m very athletic, musical, 5’10”, muscular build, good, patient listener. Ad# 2513

MR. CHEF SWM, 34, 6’1”, 175lbs., blue eyes, good sense of humor, enjoys cooking, in/outdoors. Seeking SF, 20-40, welling to eat my cooking. Ad# 3596 BE YOURSELF SBM, 35, 6’, 180lbs., humorous, down-to-earth, enjoys church, jogging, movies, seeking SBF, 3040, with same qualities. Ad# 3598 CUDDLE WITH ME SWCM, 21, 5’8”, 200lbs., blond hair, enjoys going to Church, varied interests. ISO SWCF, 21, with similar interests. Ad# 3604 NEW IN TOWN 5’6”, 150lbs., blue eyes, blonde, WWWM, 47, enjoys travel, sailing, art, good food, beach. ISO SF, 35-mid 40s, seeking LTR. Ad# 2815 A GOOD HEART... SBM, 41, down-to-earth, outgoing, N/S, enjoys music, church, sporting events, seeking loving SBF, 30-45, for friendship. Ad# 2959 WASS UP?! SWM, 20, looking for a fun girl, 18-25, to kick it with. Keep it real. Holler back. Ad# 3579 HAND IN HAND SWM, 24, 6’2”, 225lbs., dark hair/eyes, outgoing, friendly, likes shooting pool, dancing, riding motorcycles, ISO SWF, 20-35. Ad# 3564

R U INTERESTED? SBM, 42, 5’8”, 160lbs., light complexion, enjoys baseball, movies, park walks, cooking, country music, movies. Seeking SWF, full-figured, intelligent, understanding. Ad# 3180 HAPPY-GO-LUCKY SWM, 44, 5’7”, 180lbs., auburn hair, green eyes, enjoys traveling, motorcycles, certified SCUBA diver. ISO SWF true companion, 30-45, outgoing, redhead. Ad# 3209 R WE A MATCH? SWM, 40, 6’1”, 160lbs., brown hair, blue eyes, enjoys classic rock, movies, dining, more. ISO nice, friendly SF, 25-45. Ad# 3550 ENJOYING LIFE Retired SWM, 52, 6’4”, 155lbs., reddish/blonde hair, enjoys dancing, fishing, hunting, seeking similar SWF, 44-65. Ad# 3554 GIVE ME A CALL! SBM, 6’1”, 270lbs., seeking SBPF, 35-50, for friendship, movies, walks in the park, and dining out. Ad# 2810 ATTN FEMALE CITIZEN Hardworking SWM desires intelligent, humorous, sensuous WF, 28-38, with creative and kinesthetic outlet. Call to negotiate terms of surrender. Ad# 2785

WATCH THE SUNRISE SBM, 25, 6’9”, 225lbs., has a wide variety of interests, looking for an outgoing, sweet, caring SF, 20-39, for friendship and possibly more. Ad# 3141 WORTH THE WAIT SBM, 41, loves sports, church activities, searching for a SBF, 35-45, with similar interests, for conversation and possibly more. Ad# 3143 LOOKING FOR MY LADY SWM, 35, 6’1”, 195lbs., blond, blue eyes, enjoys cooking, dining, dancing, quiet evenings. ISO D/SWF, 25-40, for friendship, possible LTR. Ad# 2772 GOOD HEART... Looking for love. Retired engineer, DWM, 70, 5’9”, 200lbs., seeks openminded D/SWF to share friendship, love. ISO someone who likes movies, dining out, walks, talks, and some outdoor activities like golf, fishing. Age/race unimportant. Ad# 2773 LET’S TALK SWM, 34, 5’11”, 220lbs., easygoing, likes dancing, singing, fun times. Seeks laid-back, fun-loving SBF, 27-40, for coffee and conversation. Ad# 3065

MAKE ME SMILE SWM, 44, ex-military, mature, down-to-earth, respectful, enjoys movies, going out, fishing. Seeking reserved SBF, 32-44, for friendship. Ad# 3127 MODERN COUNTRY LIVING WM, retired senior citizen, 6’1”, 145lbs., ISO WF, 45-60, attractive, medium-built, N/D, N/S, no children, for companionship, LTR. Ad# 2770 PERFECT DATE Are you a SF, 18-29, looking for a gentleman? This WM, 22, is perfect so give him a call. Ad# 3098 A GOOD FRIEND WANTED HM, 26, 5’9”, 220lbs., brownish black hair, very outgoing, likes photography, traveling, cultural activities, and movies. Seeking SF, 23-27, for relationship. Ad# 3114 WHERE MY HEART IS Friendly DWM, 58, 5’10”, 190lbs., enjoys shooting pool, political research, cooking, looking for honest, healthy SWF, 46-56, for serious LTR. Ad# 3115 MILITARY MAN SWM, 34, 5’11”, 220lbs., fun-loving, easygoing, likes movies, quiet evenings, dancing, R&B, classic rock music. Seeks SBF, 29-40. Ad# 3057 WANT TO MEET? DBM, 45, 5’10”, 220lbs., enjoys good conversation and food, sports, movies, ISO SBF, 35-50, for LTR. Ad# 3064 COMPASSION SM, 53, 6’, 180lbs., musician, loving, communicative, loves bowling, dancing, walks, car racing. Seeking attractive, compassionate SWF, 21-60, for a LTR. Ad# 3070 JUST KICK IT SBM, 24, 5’9”, shy at first, likes wrestling, bowling, theater. Seeks SBF, 2131, medium build, fun-loving, to kick it with. Ad# 3082 SOMEWHERE OUT THERE SBM, 39, 5’6”, 160lbs., outgoing, honest, likes Blockbuster nights, attending church, fun times. Seeks SF, 27-44, feminine, open, respectful. Ad# 3083 COULD BE YOU WM, 37, 6’, 220lbs., who’s the outdoorsy type, likes hunting, NASCAR and walking. Interested in meeting a F, 28-44. Ad# 3048 FOR YOU... I would do anything. Medium-built BM, 48, 6’4”, 195lbs., likes running, lifting weights and walking. Seeking H/W/BF, 25-45. Ad# 3053 MAKE IT HAPPEN! Outgoing SBM, 18, N/S, seeks SF, 18-21, who likes dancing, walks, movies, and enjoys life, for friendship first. Ad# 3038

WAITING FOR THE ONE GWM, 18, 6’, 130lbs., blond hair, likes long walks, horseback riding, searching for GWM, 1820, with similar interests. Ad# 4077 ARE YOU THE ONE? GBM, 37, 5’8”, 200lbs., likes quiet times at home, parks, traveling, searching for realistic GBPM, 35-42. Ad# 4092 AM I THE ONE? SWM, 22, 5’10”, 140lbs., good-looking, adventurous, smoker, nice, into dining, blading, enjoying life. Seeks SWM, 18-30, for companionship. Ad# 3704 MAKE IT HAPPEN BM, 29, 6’1”, 265lbs., generous-hearted trucker, enjoys dancing, singing, long walks, beaches. ISO open-minded SM, 21-30, for relationship. Ad# 3585 SMOOTH TALKER Caring SWM, 47, 5’10”, brown hair/eyes, 170lbs., handsome, loves people, likes fishing, golf, hanging out. Seeking SM, 18-20, outgoing and care-free. Ad# 4062 BEYOND 5’11”, 155lbs., light hair, SWM, 32, looking for good time with 18-45, S guy. Ad# 4051 GUY SWEET TALK SWM, 6’2”, 240lbs., blue eyes, brown hair, 52, dating first, possible relationship. Enjoys walking, hand holding and talks. Seeking SWM, 30-40, with feelings. Ad# 3690

NO EXTRA BAGGAGE Attractive SBF, 5’7”, long black hair, heavyset, outgoing, romantic, loves candlelight dinners, long walks, holding hands, ISO 35-65, SF, serious only apply. Ad# 4029 LET’S GET TOGETHER SF, 24, 5’4”, 185lbs., dark brown hair, likes singing and family-oriented activities. Seeking SBF, 22-33, for friendship, possibly more. Ad# 3670 FRIENDSHIP FIRST! Funny, smart, down-toearth GBF, 5’6”, 125lbs., loves long walks, hand holding. ISO GF, 21-30, who likes kids and doesn’t play games. Ad# 2829 LOOKING FOR A QUEEN SBF, 30, one child, articulate, athletic, sense of humor, enjoys dancing. ISO SB/H/WF, 24-35, for conversation, friendship. No head games. Ad# 2821 YOUNG AT HEART Active GWF, 60, 5’5”, 122lbs., brown hair, enjoys meeting new people, dining out, short trips, ISO plus-sized GWF, 4560. Ad# 3639

MAKE THE CALL GWM, 42, 6’, 180lbs., has a wide variety of interest, ISO GWM, 20-50, for fun, friendship and conversation. Ad# 4096

KIND AND CARING GBF, 24, 5’2”, 170lbs., blond hair, energetic, loving, enjoys movies, shopping, cooking, seeking romantic, outgoing GBF, 21-27. Ad# 3642

SECURE AND SINGLE GWM, 31, 5’8”, 168lbs., gray eyes, brown curly hair, mustache, down-toearth, very open-minded, seeking GH/B/mixed M, 24+. Ad# 3705

ZEST FOR LIFE Articulate, adventurous WF, 32, 5’8”, brown hair/eyes, enjoys animals, running, movies and dining. Looking for WF, 2540, for friendship. Ad# 3611

Classifieds

47 M E T R O

Call (706) 738-1142 to place your Classified ad today! Insurance

Employment Clean Commercial/Industrial Facilities Sweep, Mop, Windows, Buf f/Wa x Floors, Clean Carpets, Strip & Reseal Floors. Minimum Six Months Heavy Industrial Cleaning Experience. Drug Screen/Criminal Background Check Required. $8.72/hour EEOC Employer 706-738-3113 (06/20#7709) Massage Therapist Needed Must be nationally cer tified & licensed by the state of South Carolina Call, Integrative Bodyworks 803-279-8262 (06/20#7677)

Equipment

Mind, Body & Spirit

You could be paying less for your health insurance… If you don’t have or can’t afford group health insurance, take a look at these sample rates for individual hospital and surgical coverage with $250 Deductible, 80/20 to $10,000, $2,000,000 Lifetime Maximum: Male Child age 0 - 19 Female Child age 0 - 19 Male age 34 Female age 39 Family (older spouse age 44)

As low as $ 32/Month $ 38/Month $ 57/Month $ 93/Month $228/Month

Call Roger Jenkins at 706-836-5535 for details and a quote

Mind, Body & Spirit LOSE WEIGHT NOW lose up to 30 pounds in the nex t 30 days! NATURAL.GUARANTEED FREE SAMPLES!! Call 1-888-203-7440 (06/20#7691)

BUY FACTORY DIRECT WOLFF TANNING BEDS Payments From $25/month FREE Color Catalog Call Today 1-800-842-1310 www.np.etstan.com (06/20#7606)

Home For Rent EVANS 4 br, 4 1/2 ba, 3600 sq.f t. sauna, secluded, best schools, $1850 per mo, 706-786-0884 pgr, Augusta (6/27#7705)

Full Body Massage! Therapeutic tension relief, intense or tender touch, rela xing music, aromatherapy, by appointment only - $49.00/hr. Call Joy - 771-9470 or John - 474-1314 (06/20#7711)

Hey,

somebody has to the

make

first

move. If you don't call them you may never meet! So pick up your phone and respond to the ad or ads you find appealing. You may just find who you're looking for. Don't wait!

Massage is wonderfully soothing Massage promotes optimal health in mind, body, and spirit. Swedish • Shiatsu • Stress Relief Call Sasha 803-441-0001 (06/20#7680)

L❤ve & Light HEALING CENTER HYPNOSIS WORKS! Stop

Smoking Lose Weight

Do you want clarification in your life or help with decisions? Try Angel Harp Readings

Sessions with the angels

Betty L ❤ve, CHT. Reiki Master

Alt. Lifestyles

WELCOME TO FREE PSYCHIC READINGS BY PHONE Talk live to America’s favorite Love & Romance Exper ts 1-800-275-5336 *Shynning StaR Ext. 075188 *The Psychic-One Ext. 064870 *Spiritual Mom Ext. 0140274 Email and get a $10 FREE reading, www.therealpsychicmasters@yahoo.com (06/20#7712)

Email your classified ad to classified@metspirit.com

733-4187 ❤ 733-8550

Miscellaneous For Sale

Professional Massage Friendly experienced male. Stress relief for healthy men 18 - 45. All hotel clients $40/hr. Out or hotel calls only. 706-739-9139 (06/20#7685)

SOFA LESS THAN 2 YEAR’S OLD Khaki Green/Cranberry/Sage Floral Pat tern With coordinating solid khaki chair and ot tomon for $900.00 O.B.O. Call 726-3621 (06/20#7703)

www.metspirit.com

Pets

TELLS ALL Advises on Past, Present & Future Specializing in Love Affairs

733-5851 2463 Wrightsboro Road

AVAILABLE FOR PARTIES

For a live operator call 1-800-783-1131 ex t. 533

FRIDAY & SATURDAY Show Night w/ Special Guests SUNDAY NIGHT Starlight Cabaret w/ Claire Storm & Lauren Alexander

141 Marlboro Street, Aiken • 803-644-6485 w w w.marlboro.4mg.net 18 to Party • 21 to Drink

Talk Line BEST ADULT TALK! Choose the Model you want Unrestricted 24 hrs. 18+ 1-702-216-3500 $15 for 15 minutes CC/Checks Accepted A10 (11/14#7707)

Travel

AKC Registered Collie Pups Champion Blood Line $200 Call af ter 5:30 pm - 803-278-3241 (06/20#7704)

Real Estate MYRTLE BEACH AREA Luxurious ocean front condo’s 1, 2, & 3 Bedroom units Near popular at tractions Call 706-481-8411 or 1-888-481-8411 (06/20#7708)

Religion Metropolitan Community Church of Our Redeemer A Christian Church reaching to all: including Gay, Lesbian, and Transgendered Christians. Meeting at 311 Seventh Street, 11 am and 7 pm each Sunday. 722-6454 MCCAugusta@aol.com www.mccaugustaga.homestead.com/home.html

Become A Massage Therapist

Learn to Windsurf (It’s easier than you think.) *Right here at Lake Thurmond *Specialized equipment *US Sailing cer tified instructor

Whitecap Windsurfing

“Augusta School Of Massage Inc. is now accepting applications for day & evening classes. Ask how to receive a free massage table!”

Augusta To place an ad on our automated ad taking system call 1-800-743-2873

EVERY THURSDAY Talent Night $1.00 Beer

Wed-Fri 8pm-5am Sat 8pm-3am; Sun 8pm-5am

2477 Wrightsboro Rd.

Mrs. Graham Psychic

Marlboro Station Where the Party Never Stops!

706-860-0639

www.whitecapwindsur fing.com whitecapws@aol.com

School of

MASSAGE, I . NC

Wheels Call today for details!

3512 1/2 Wheeler Road, Augusta • Near the Family Y

733-2040

Dead Bodies Wanted

We want your dead junk or scrap car bodies. We tow away and for some we pay. 706/829-2676

706/798-9060

S P I R I T J U N E 2 0 2 0 0 2

Planning a Reunion? King & Queen Bedded Rooms Whirlpool Tubs Free Continental Breakfast

Starting at

$99

Treat Your Family to the Best.

312-334 Greene Street Augusta, GA 30901

(706) 724-3454