Metro Spirit 02.09.2012 by Metro Spirit

TABLE of CONTENTS

insider - JENNY IS WRIGHT - AUGUSTA TEK - AUSTIN RHODES metro - NY TIMES CROSSWORD - RUFFIN’ IT are you not entertained - CALENDAR elements sightings the8 slab - IN MUSIC - FREE WILL ASTROLOGY - CUISINE SCENE - BALL whine line - TOM TOMORROW

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COVER DESIGN | GABRIELVEGA Metro Spirit is a free newspaper published weekly on Thursday, 52 weeks a year. Editorial coverage includes local issues and news, arts, entertainment, people, places and events. In our paper appear views from across the political and social spectrum. The views do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher. Visit us at metrospirit.com.© 15 House, LLC. Owner/Publisher: Joe White. Legal: Phillip Scott Hibbard. Reproduction or use without permission is prohibited. One copy per person, please.

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METRO SPIRIT 02.09.12

INSIDER

Insider is an anonymous, opinion-based examination of the hidden details of Augusta politics and personalities.

Brigham Invited to Audit His Own Body

Even though Jerry Brigham was very clearly against the idea of a forensic audit, his opposition doesn’t seem to have kept him from the opportunity to make some money off of it. Brigham, an accountant, received a letter dated February 2 inviting him to bid on the Forensic Financial Audit for the city of Augusta. The letter instructs him that sealed RFPs will be received at the Procurement office until 11 a.m. Friday, March 16. Obviously a case of poor preparation by the Procurement Department — certainly not the first — wouldn’t you just love to see Bill Lockett’s face if he saw Brigham attending the mandatory preproposal conference?

Over the Hedge Word is there will be four Allens on the ballot in Columbia County in the upcoming elections. Three are related, and one is debated. It’s going to be interesting at the commission level. Challenger Butch Holley may benefit from Charles Allen’s less than buddy-buddy relationship with Chairman Ron Cross, who in spite of the Magnolia Trace situation is still The Man. It remains to be seen if Holley’s campaign can gain the necessary funds and traction, but should Cross give Allen the cold shoulder, it could send some muchneeded wind toward Holley’s sails. Whether it’s enough to unseat the incumbent, however, remains to be seen. With Damon Cline now drawn out of his district and away from Magnolia Trace, which was his whole reason for entering the election, insiders speculate that there isn’t enough voter hostility to ultimately vote Trey Allen out of office, even including those galvanized by the Augusta Prep Lights and the Springlakes drainage project. One week before the election, look for state of the county mailers to remind voters that in spite of all those things, life is pretty good the way things are in the ‘burbs.

F&B Update In the next few weeks, a new Gary’s Hamburgers will be opening on Wheeler Road in the former Backyard Burgers locale. It will be interesting to see how the restaurant fares, especially since the only drive-thru in the area is Chick-fil-A. All the other choices, and there are a lot of them, are more or less sit down establishments. The Backyard Burger concept was rolled out in Augusta by owners in Boone, North Carolina. The plan was to grow nationally, but with no local ownership involvement, the franchise concept floundered and died. The Midtown Lounge will open the first of March. (Hint — we reported that past-due taxes closed the former bar at this location. Apparently they were too much to handle, so-ta-dah! Hakuna matata! A new bar is born.) The soon-to-open nightclub will be the newest addition for a group of local small businessmen who have been growing their bar/restaurant holdings slowly and methodically over the last few years. Look for Greene Streets to reopen in the next few weeks as well. New owners (the landlords of the building) are remodeling and plan to open pretty much the same as it always has been… an out of the way karaoke bar. The renovations look tight. Expect a new place to spend your hard-earned dough and listen to the latest karaoke queen.

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INSIDER@THEMETROSPIRIT.COM

Best Wishes Get along, little doggies… If you can manage to look a little deeper than the surface, the Tee Center parking deck saga is really a reflection on the state of the Augusta Chronicle. Without the daily laying down cover fire, even allies have been emboldened enough to speak out. If you’ve been around Augusta long enough and have an interest in such things, you certainly know that any private/public deal worked out by Paul Simon and Billy Morris is beneficial… to Paul Simon and Billy Morris. But before, you could always count on the double barrel rhetoric from the paper to advance their position. Those days are gone. Sadly for the largest landowner on the downtown riverfront, all of their future dealings will be done in the full light of day, with his bully pulpit reduced to daily deals, blogs and twitter feeds. As far as the parking deck is concerned, Insiders surmise that little will come from all the uproar captivating the media and Facebookers. No one will be voted out of office. No one will go to jail, David Frey included. The uppity ups will just have to learn to be more careful. The general public has little appetite for following the intricacies of local government. They are too busy living their lives, working, raising kids and basically not worrying about the intricacies of local government. Yes, on occasion, angry citizens can be herded into a powerful and sometimes destructive stampede, but if you’ve ever watched a Western all the way through, you know that before long the cattle get tired, and when they get tired they get distracted, and when the get distracted they don’t care about anything but their grazing. Not parking decks. Not suburban housing projects. And not whatever else the trail bosses might want them to care about.

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So, what’s up with Best of Promotions in Augusta? It’s gone nuts. My tennis shoes handed out best of awards last week! But hey… Having the title of “Best Of…” anything seems to come with a lot of pressure. After all, it’s hard to always be “The Best.” But, if you’re feeling the pressure to be “The Best” and want to be listed in the Nationally Accredited Augusta Magazine as “The Best,” head on over and nominate yourself. If you can’t vote for yourself enough, send out a mass email to people that spend money with your company and beg them to vote you as “The Best.” Because there is nothing that people like more than getting emails from self-promoting, twitter posting, instagramming, marketing gurus. So if you’re lucky enough to get a “Vote for me for Best of…” email, do your duty and keep the twitterverse spinning. From: Thetford, Lindsay <lindsay.thetford@augustachronicle.com> Date: Thu, Jan 19, 2012 at 11:54 AM Subject: 2012 Best of Augusta! To: Hello friends! Voting for the 2012 Best of Augusta awards has begun! If you have a moment I would be most grateful if you would vote by filling out the form. It only takes a few minutes and is a great way to see what everyone’s favorite places and people are. I am excited to be the 2011 award winner for “Best Media Person to Follow on Twitter” and would be very excited if I were to receive your vote for 2012! Your vote is important! Here is the link to cast your votes if you feel so obliged: http://tinyurl.com/2012BOAvote Thank you for your time and for all that you do! My twitter page: http://twitter.com/LindsayThetford Thanks so much! Lindsay S. Thetford Community Relations Manager Marketing The Augusta Chronicle 725 Broad Street Augusta, Georgia 30901 (706) 823-3476

METRO SPIRIT 02.09.12

Jenny Wright lives in Summerville with her husband, who she calls The Man, and two kids, who she affectionately calls The Boy and The Girl. She enjoys taking photos, cooking and playing tennis.

White House Bound

The Boy may just be turning eight, but he already has big plans It was the ice storm of 2004. The power was out, which meant we didn’t have heat, and I was stuck in the house, ordered to stay in bed. I was days away from having our first child. I just needed to make it through the next few days and we would get to meet our baby. It hadn’t been hard to stay on bed rest. I didn’t have another child, and work had been very understanding. My main goal was to stay pregnant. There are plenty of people who say that bed rest doesn’t work, but I wasn’t going to take any chances. This was my first, I didn’t know any better and I just wanted a healthy baby. In bed I stayed, until, after 10.5 weeks, I was far enough along and set free. I squeezed in a doctor visit, a stop at Target simply because I could and lunch at Poppy Seeds before we started counting contractions. At one point, the young girl serving our lunch asked what my due date was, and I had to take a second to answer her, because the contractions were about five minutes apart. “Any time now!” we told her, and we paid our check.

I finally admitted that it might be time to go to the hospital, so we checked in, got settled in a bed, eventually got the epidural (no judging, it was amazing!) and we waited. I watched TV and The Man slept. “What? I’m tired!” Really?

A few hours passed, and it was go time. I remained calm, and all went without a hitch, until The Man’s cell phone rang. And he answered it. It went something like this: “One, two, three, four, fi-” “Hello?” He proceeded to have a threeminute conversation with his bookkeeper. He still claims that had he ignored the call, she may have wondered where he

was. Um, dontcha think that the “I’m a dad” call that you can make when I STOP PUSHING THIS BABY OUT will explain everything? He was born at 8:01 a.m. The nurses all came running in to see who won the bet. It was a boy. The Boy. He was a great baby. He put himself on a schedule and slept through the night by six weeks. He ate anything and everything and had the best baby chuckle. I know that it sounds like I’m bragging, but if you lived with him now, you’d see that I’m getting my penance. He talks all the time, and tells me he feels more comfortable when he’s talking. Just this morning, he was flitting about the house, being a total knowit-all. When I remarked (with a smile) that he sure seemed full of himself this morning, he said, “Yeah, I like being full of myself. It feels right.” I’m learning every day just how much he’s like his dad. He loves learning and he teaches us new things each day. We may not be interested, but we pretend to be. Did you

know that Rutherford B. Hayes was the 19th president? That his middle name is Birchard? Can you name the 29th president? I can. He wants to be a grown up, but doesn’t mind holding my hand. He wears ties, crosses his legs in that manly way, thinks gray hair is cool and pretends to go to the office. Once, after Communion, he said, “That’ll hold me ‘til lunch.” He marches to the beat of his own drum, and that’s the best part of him. He isn’t worried about what anyone thinks and he is fiercely independent. He has his life planned. He plans on running for commissioner, then mayor. He’ll become the governor of Georgia next. Anyone who knows him trusts that he just may be a U.S. president one day. Most importantly, he thinks he will be. He has no doubt. Happy eighth birthday, kiddo. You make me proud every single day. You are handsome, smart, kind and hilarious. And yes, I’m kissing up. I plan on retiring in the White House.

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AUGUSTATEK

Disruption Is a Good Thing

It’s been 15 years since Clayton Christensen released what continues to be the foremost reference on innovation and modern business. “The Innovator’s Dilemma” focuses on disruptive technologies — those innovations that have the potential to completely redefine an industry. Of course, these innovations can be identified with certainty only in hindsight. Hence the dilemma to business: continue with what is working today or change to a newer, riskier, but potentially better solution. For the reasons outlined by Christensen, established businesses are often late seeing the market change. As a result, former industry greats such as Tower Records, Blockbuster and Kodak fade into the history books as new leaders such as Amazon and Apple take their place. Experiencing a disruptive technology change can be an exciting time for the consumer. Over the past 10 years, we’ve had the privilege of experiencing changes brought about by the internet and mobile electronics. (Does anyone even remember life before Facebook and Google?) Fortunately for us, it’s still not over and probably won’t be for a while. Currently, tablets are being very disruptive to desktop PCs. While we still don’t know how everything is going to shake out, tablet makers are introducing incredible innovations into their product lines in hopes of finding the magic combination that will stick. For example: •The Pantech Element features a water-resistant design submergible in up to three feet of water. So whether it’s the beach, bath or hot tub, you’re good to go! •The Asus Eee Pad Transformer Prime features an optional keyboard dock that gives it the functionality of a laptop. The quad core processor ain’t bad, either. •The Sony Tablet P utilizes a hinged design that connects two 5.5-inch displays, which operate independently or in tandem. It folds away for easy storage, too. •The Samsung Galaxy Tab7 Plus includes an integrated infrared sensor and remote control application that allows you to utilize the tablet as a universal remote while still racking up the points in Temple Run. •The Toshiba Thrive is one of the very few tablets that includes a removable battery pack. Nice try, but I think consumers prefer a single battery that lasts forever. •The HTC Evo View 4G utilizes a digital stylus for writing notes and annotating documents. Again, another feature that I don’t think will make the final cut, but ultimately it’s for the market to decide! •The G-Slate from LG provides a stereoscopic camera for capturing 3D video. Very cool… assuming 3D TV becomes the norm. (Hey, Lynnsey… you and Tim in 3D! How cool would that be!) Disruptive technologies exist in other industries as well. Growing up, I don’t recall any of my neighbors owning a golf cart. Now it seems that golf carts and other electric vehicles are the preferred method of travel within subdivisions. Last week, Mike Tomberlin of the Tomberlin Group spoke to our Rotary Club about the growth in the Low Speed Vehicle (LSV) market. The Tomberlin Anvil and their other LSV models utilize disruptive electric vehicle technology to create a product that is well-suited for both suburban neighborhood and high-density city environments. Their 700 U.S. distributors and growth in international markets seem to indicate they might be on to something. With all the advancements that disruptive technology brings, it’s amazing that many people and companies still refuse to change. Even worse, they lobby for regulations that prevent the free market from evolving and restrict the freedom of innovators to provide new consumer goods. The record and movie industry support for the recent Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA) is a perfect example. Instead of accepting the new internet capabilities and figuring out how to integrate those features into their services, the record and movie industry continue their fight to preserve the old way of media distribution. Meanwhile, Apple, Amazon and Netflix are well on their way to figuring out the new business model and will eventually make the RIAA and MPAA irrelevant. So the dilemma when faced with disruptive technology really isn’t a dilemma after all. Innovation leads to improved consumer products and a more competitive position in the marketplace, whether local or global. A little disruption is good for the soul. Don’t be afraid to shake things up! Until next time, I’ll see you on the internet @gregory_a_baker. L8R.

Gregory A. Baker, Ph.D., is vice president and chief rocket scientist for CMA, which provides information technology services to CSRA businesses and nonprofits. V. 23 | NO. 06

METRO SPIRIT 02.09.12

AUSTINRHODES

The views expressed are the opinions of Austin Rhodes and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher.

Show Your Work, Damnit! It is time for me to apologize to virtually every math teacher I had from fifth grade on. These hard-working educators were the targets of untold tens of thousands of derogatory thoughts and comments that spewed daily while under their tutelage, particularly when reminded that we must always “show your work.” What a pain in the ass. My theory? “I know that 1,200 divided by 30 is 40. Anything written on the paper other than ‘40’ is purely an exercise in banality.” At the time my juvenile understanding of the process rationalized that “busy work” and “nit picking” was all the old biddies had in mind when issuing such an edict. Of course now I know the motives were sound and completely legitimate. First, they wanted me to prove that I understood the process. Second, they wanted to be sure I wasn’t cheating. It is with this example firmly in mind that I admonish our elected commissioners in both Augusta and Columbia County that it is not good enough just to show up at meetings and declare “this is the answer.” Taxpayers want to see how you got there, and the

METRO SPIRIT 02.09.12

process that brought you to that decision. In math class “showing your work” ensured credit for getting the right answer. In government, it means preventing a lawsuit when you get the right answer. Only a moron would argue that the firings of Teresa Smith, Chiquita Johnson and Eugene Jessup were not justified, yet Jessup was the only one who did not get a fat check as he was shuffled out the door (in the form of “lawsuit settlements”), and that was likely because he had only been around a few months. With both Smith and Johnson, no one had bothered to document their numerous and well-known professional deficiencies. The lack of said paper trail resulted in both getting large checks. Having seen first-hand what happened in both cases, I can tell you that Augusta leaders in both cases did not understand the process and they were cheating, even though they stumbled into the right answers, which were the terminations in question. The proof they “didn’t know the process” was their lack of documentation. The “cheating” was that neither was fired for incompetence; they were fired because of the political fallout their

failures had created. In Columbia County we have the Magnolia Trace debacle, which we are told was born in a sneaky 2009 private meeting between the county attorney, who had billed the developers involved for work on other projects, and two commissioners. Why two and not three? To avoid the open meetings requirements, of course. In December, offended citizens and inquiring media were told repeatedly that because the property had already been purchased, there was nothing they or the government could do to stop the massive “rent assisted” development. At that point, they were right. As we discovered recently, though, in an email between county attorney Doug Batchelor and the legal echo machine hired to ponder any possible solutions, when that first meeting took place, the land had not yet been purchased. Had Ron Cross and Trey Allen been told the truth about the nature of the development (they insist they were not), the whole thing could have been moved to a more “neighborhood friendly” location or scrubbed entirely. See what happens when you try to

come up with the right answer while hiding your thought process? Back to Augusta, where they are neck deep in bizarre complications stemming from public projects in all stages of development, from the near finished (Tee Center and parking deck) to dreamscapes still unhatched (new ball parks and renovated theaters). Administrator Fred Russell, who I am amazed has enough follow through to get both shoes tied in the morning, and Tee Center/parking deck project attorney Jim Plunkett are telling the world that all the promises of free land, tax liens, land swaps, air rights, management agreements and closed-door negotiations aside... just hush and watch how this beautiful project will all come together. Pardon me for laughing out loud, literally, at the thought. If it does come together, it will likely be dumb luck... or some cheating going on in the process, because God knows they don’t have a clue as to how to handle this business correctly. You want the public to have faith in what you do, show your work. Not only is it a good idea, it is the law.

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METRONEWS

ERICJOHNSON

The Original Mentalist

The Amazing Kreskin reads minds and dissects a Spirit undercover operation

In the second half of the Amazing Kreskin’s two and a half hour show at the Imperial Theater on Saturday, February 11, the famed mentalist will bring anywhere from 30 to 50 volunteers up on stage with him. “I demonstrate the power of suggestion,” he says. “It’s part of a comedic-serious demonstration that shows why I don’t believe hypnosis exists.” If you’ve ever seen the 77-year-old entertainer with Jimmy Fallon, that might seem like a strange statement, since he usually has the late night comedian’s eyes sealed shut with 10 seconds. But Kreskin is adamant about the fact that hypnosis isn’t real. “I have shown in rather dramatic parlance that there really is no trance,” he says. “That is purely suggestion. In the show, people volunteer on stage and V. 23 | NO. 06

suddenly, in about 12 seconds, they’re not able to figure out their names for the next 20 minutes, even though they’re wide awake and not in a trance.” Last June, former Spirit employee Emily Stone went undercover at hypnotist Gary Conrad’s performance at Coyote’s. The objective was to get a look inside the illusion. The results, however, were inconclusive. Though Stone felt she was in control the whole time, there were elements of the performance that left her feeling confused. “She was probably responding to suggestion without faking in any way, shape or form,” Kreskin says. “We don’t

realize how powerful suggestion and ideas are. It feels like we’re going along, but it’s a compulsive factor because of the unconscious response to ideas.” The main thing, he says, is that there is no altered state. “Nobody is in a trance,” he says. “They’re as wide awake as any other time.” Kreskin, who got his start on Canadian TV back in the 1970s, is perhaps best known for his appearances on “The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson,” and though he’s continued to make late-night TV appearances, it’s his live show that really keep him busy. Last year, between media appearances and TV, he logged 261 dates, a record for him, and in spite of headlining five days a week at the Riviera in Las Vegas, in a sevenweek period he flew over 68,000 miles. “My road manager had to take a week off,” he says. “He couldn’t take the schedule.” According to an airline announcement four years ago this March, Kreskin had flown a little over three million miles. Besides his live shows and TV gigs, Kreskin has carved out a role for himself as a modern-day Nostradamus, making any number of predictions, including the next president of the United States. On July 25 of last year, back when there were still about a dozen Republicans in the running for the GOP nomination, Kreskin locked a sealed envelope with his prediction into a safe at Jimmy Fallon’s show. He later locked another copy in a safe belonging to a New Jersey broadcaster friend, one in Robin Leach’s safe and one in a safe above a bar at a Sinatra haunt in New York. “All four are going to come to Jimmy

Fallon the night after the election and read my prediction,” he says. Though Kreskin has made several other predictions, perhaps none have been as bold as his prediction that convicted killer Sirhan Sirhan will make a case that he was acting under hypnosis when he assassinated Robert F. Kennedy. “They’re in for a hell of a fight,” he says. “Wait until they see what is being prepared by me on the other side of the case to make a mockery of such an asinine position.” Often steering the conversation toward serious topics, Kreskin is an incessant talker, and eventually the conversation turns back toward show business and the people he’s worked with. Besides that, he’s funny. He has an old-time sense of humor and timing that he picked up from the greats, and given the seriousness that seems to engulf the world today, he says it’s even more important than ever to keep a sense of humor. “We forget with everybody so uptight today, but during the most difficult times of the Second World War, most of the great comedians were Jewish,” he says. “Milton Berle, Jack Benny, George Burns. You had horrendous things happening during the war, but we can’t lose our sense of humor or we’re in trouble.” Augusta will certainly get to participate in his signature act — finding his performance check, which is hidden from him in the audience. “If I don’t find my check, I forfeit my fee, which is a hell of a way to make a living,” he says. And he doesn’t always find it. He says he’s failed nine times out of 6,000 attempts, one of those costing him $51,000. And while such missteps don’t happen often, he says documenting the mistakes are important to maintaining his integrity as a performer. Though he has a well-publicized offer of $1 million for anyone who can prove he’s using confederates or electronic devices to help him with his show, it’s the fact that he insists on airing the mistakes, he says, that keeps people believing he’s on the level. One of the last performances he did with Regis Philbin before Philbin retired completely failed on camera and aired just as it was. “He would never have asked me to do it again,” Kreskin says of Philbin. “Of course, the program was live…” METRO SPIRIT 02.09.12

Historic Real Estate

LAURENDeVILLE

Historic Augusta begins new program

With the creation of its new real estate program, Historic Augusta recently added a new preservation tool to its inventory.

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The program kicked off by selling its first historic property, 920 Greene Street, to owner Mark Donahue. The real estate program secures options to buy historic buildings and then sells the properties to “preservation-minded buyers subject to historic preservation easements.” “I think the program is different because it’s meant to really engage the public and it’s meant to engage the public in that buyer relationship,” said Robyn Anderson, preservation services director. “So instead of it being educational, or having it be a workshop, this is a methodology type of approach to preservation.” According to Erick Montgomery, executive director of Historic Augusta, the organization isn’t a typical real estate firm with hundreds of properties listed, but it will have a handful of properties at any given time. He also admits that the program is geared specifically towards historic properties and will not take the place of another real estate agency. “We rely on local real estate agents and we have real estate agents that are on our committee,” Montgomery said. “And so having their expertise is a way to at least understand how to do a real estate program, but its not something that’s going to have an adverse affect or affect their business. We want it to be co-operative.” Anderson said that when the preservation easement comes into play, it is nothing more than a preservation tool intended to protect the property for the remainder of its existence. In particular, she said that when an owner chooses to contribute a charitable tax donation or a feature area in the house, such as the interior of the building, to a nonprofit organization, it protects that piece of the property. “Having an easement on the property means that if someone wants to enclose a porch and it’s never been closed historically, they would just need to

get approval from whoever holds that preservation easement to move forward with their work,” Anderson said. Anderson said she finds potential buyers through a list that she has been keeping of people who asked about available properties and through listing the properties through various internet sites. With advice from Preservation North Carolina and Georgia Trust, she feels confident that the online market will become profitable and help sales because of its reach and ease of use. Anderson also forsees that the relationship that they have with Donahue and other potential owners will be a positive ongoing process throughout the history of this program. Montgomery said he is happy that they sold their first property and feels that the program helps accomplish the organization’s long-term goal of restoring historic houses. “We know he’ll do a good job and he will do it right,” Montgomery said of Donahue. “We will have saved a very significant historic property in downtown Augusta, which is our goal. It meets our mission.” Two other available properties in the program are located at 307 James Brown Boulevard and 586 Broad Street.

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NETWORKING EVENT By Ian Livengood / Edited by Will Shortz

82 George nicknamed Mr. Basketball 83 “Tsk! Tsk!” 84 Baseball family surname 86 Enrollment at a TV station? 92 Shocked 95 How some stocks are bought 96 Hold fast 97 Seize 98 Playful response to a good insult 101 You might rub a knife across it 103 Country singer David Allan ___, writer of “Take This Job and Shove It” 104 Recruiters at a TV station? 106 Fish holder at a TV station? 109 It’s picked in the Pacific 110 One taking the gold? 111 Meal with wine 112 Missouri relatives 113 It was dropped at Woodstock 114 “___ Got a Brand New Bag” (1965 James Brown hit) 115 Orange or olive 116 Await decision

38 Continental prefix 39 Primo 40 Product from Mars 44 Sahara feature 45 Push 46 One of a group of 12, say 47 World org. based in Lausanne, Switzerland 48 Bowl call 49 Leucippus and Democritus, philosophically 51 Some Dadaist works 52 Go up 53 Oil producer? 55 It brings up many ticket holders 56 “Ta-ta!” 57 Place to live in Germany 59 Prefix with -plasm 60 Give lessons 64 Sheiks’ garments 65 Sidecars might go on it 66 “Star Trek II” villain 67 Houston university 68 ___ Islam DOWN 70 Meadow call 1 Opening word? 71 “Ready!” follower 2 Tea merchant Sir Thomas 73 Joiner of a team 3 Early computer 74 Gravy holder 4 Shout in a strip 75 Home of ancient Bethlehem 5 Drink served with Brezeln 79 One of a secretive trio 6 “What chutzpah!” 80 Dairy brand 7 Miss at a hoedown 82 Get foggy 8 “The Simpsons” character with 83 ___ decay platform shoes 85 One-point score, of a sort 9 Old block deliverers 86 It might be batted at a knockout 10 Gold rush town of 1899 87 Clerics’ homes 11 Graceful horse 88 Half of a title role for John 12 ___ a scratch Barrymore or Spencer Tracy 13 Utah’s state animal 89 Goddess associated with 14 Mythical figure blinded by witchcraft Oenopion 90 Like some T-shirt designs 15 Do a certain dish duty 91 Didn’t wait until Christmas, say 16 Zero, in slang 92 Terrible 18 Beach umbrella, e.g. 93 Savvies 20 Student involved in a prank, maybe 94 Entranced 23 Appear on the scene 98 Other, in Oviedo 25 SpongeBob, e.g. 99 Crate 29 Sugary quaffs 100 Lassie of Arg. 32 Canine protector 102 S-shaped molding 34 Fishing gear 105 Quick drink 35 Blanket 107 Gen ___ 37 ___ Place 108 Outdo

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PREVIOUSPUZZLEANSWERS

ACROSS 1 Swivel on an axis 5 Cowboys’ home, familiarly 9 Laughable 14 Marble, e.g. 17 One in Germany 18 Locale of St. Catherine’s Monastery, said to be the world’s oldest working monastery 19 Sources of many beads 21 Narrow inlet 22 Fancy footwear at a TV station? 24 Advertising department at a TV station? 26 Rugged transport, for short 27 ___ Levy, four-time Super Bowl coach for Buffalo 28 Visited 30 Western loop 31 Like some fortresses 33 Lose ground? 35 Classic toy company whose name is its founder’s middle name 36 Slide show at a TV station? 41 “Puss in Boots” villain 42 “Barbarella” extras, for short 43 Person making waves? 44 “How ya doin’, bro?” 47 Livid 50 River to Korea Bay 52 Insanity 53 Shave 54 Court recitation 55 Midpoints: Abbr. 56 Q&A at a TV station? 58 Lickety-split 60 Green-egg layers 61 Ruthless corporate type 62 Noted calendar makers 63 Underworld leader 64 Overflow 66 Skater Yamaguchi 68 Sort (out) 69 Instrument with a big bell 72 Expert at a TV station? 75 Cookie holders 76 Beginning of some temple names 77 Opéra part 78 Cockamamie 79 Carnal craving 80 European freshwater fish 81 Super ___

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E N T W T I O N A H T W A T C A B U L K N A S C O G R E H I A P A E R S E L A L A R R A D W I C K A L S P E A C E E N Z H E R T A E S A M M S O O E L T O N L L A G E I I O S P L T Y W A L E D B I G S S C R O

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W R Y C H E S A I N E N G E R

GOT FUNERAL PLANS?

Elliott Sons Funeral Homes ELLIOTTFUNERALHOME.COM

V. 23 | NO. 06

METRO SPIRIT 02.09.12 11

JOSHRUFFIN

Normal Republicans? More like us, and them, than you think

Adam Carolla Key Quote: “’Cause I bust my ass, that’s why. Or maybe I’m just genetically better than you… so shut the f*** up and get the f*** back to work.” That’s what Carolla had to say about the Occupy movement back in December. Now look, Adam Carolla’s always been sort of a dick. It’s his thing, and I get it. He was the smirking, horsetoothed asshole foil to Dr. Drew on “Loveline,” a bygone MTV show that combined the confused sexual insanity of Jerry Springer with the fervor of a Quaker church service. He also hosted “The Man Show,” so expectations for his intellect and compassion were never lofty. Still, he’s always seemed sort of self-deprecating, and generally kills at the Comedy Central roasts. But this crosses the dick line. It consistently baffles me that so many people don’t understand that the amount of effort you put into your work doesn’t directly translate to an equal measure of success. If that were true, Larry the Cable Guy would be an out-of-work pig inseminator, and I would be Poet Laureate in five years. Besides, the Occupy movement is about bad, crony capitalism, not a lackadaisical citizenry. If Carolla had been career-age during Martin Luther King’s time, he’d have been bewildered at the nature of the sit-ins, and would have blamed black people for lacking the initiative to cover themselves in chalk dust just to get a freaking sandwich. Frank Miller Key Quote: “This is no popular uprising. This is garbage. And goodness knows they’re spewing their garbage — both politically and physically — every

12 METRO SPIRIT 02.09.12

RUFFIN’IT

This past Friday, during a Q & A in Fulton, Missouri, somehow-stillpresidential-candidate Rick Santorum told a gay man (into a microphone, in front of halfway-sane people, no less) that “[marriage] is not a right,” and that “it is not the same relationship that benefits society like a marriage between a man and a woman” (thinkprogress.org). Now, the fact that this linguistic equivalent of rooster s**t came out of Santorum’s mouth should come as a surprise to few — Santorum says bigoted, ignorant things so often and with such confidence, it’s like some jester god afflicted him with the most elegant form of Tourette’s ever. And it’s not just him. The GOP candidates recycle the same fallacy-riddled, inane talking points so many times, I’m starting to think Gingrich has some sort of points reward credit card that gives him 3 percent cash back every time he squawks “liberal media.” Apropos of nothing, I’d also like to remind everyone that Gingrich looks like a fanboy tried to make a replica of Jabba the Hutt using horse feed, mayonnaise and voodoo. But we know full well that the GOP and the fringe base to which they cater are greedy, out-of-touch dickweeds. What I’ve discovered over the years, though, is that there are other people — seemingly normal, talented, even artistic people — who wholeheartedly support this traveling, coiffured freak show, or at least their agenda. I still (kind of) respect the work of these folks, but seriously… go to hell.

which way they can find. Wake up, pond scum. America is at war against a ruthless enemy.” You tell ‘em, Frank! God, it’s so good to see someone semi-mainstream finally calling the Tea Partiers on their nonsense. These teabaggy, colonial cosplayers have been stinking up the political scene with their garish brand of ADHD bigotry, and… what? That quote is referring to the Occupy movement? Hm. Well, suck it, then. As if Miller hadn’t already racked up enough bad karma from his film adaptation of “The Spirit,” he goes and does this. It’s like logic itself got a head injury. And in case you were wondering, yes, the “ruthless enemy” means Muslims (Miller translation: turban-wearin’ brown people), which has, like, nothing to do with Occupy in the first place. You’d sooner see Tom Hanks not sh**ting Oscars. The whole thing may just be a furtive grasp at promoting Miller’s new comic “Holy Terror,” in which a Batman knockoff single-handedly uses Krav Maga to kill the Taliban. Which… okay, might be awesome. Jon Voight

Key Quote: “I’m here to validate all the millions of people who are opposed to the Obama healthcare. We’re witnessing a slow and steady takeover of our true freedoms. We’re becoming a socialist nation, and Obama is causing civil unrest in this country...” No. No, this can’t be right. Jon Voight is the man. His onscreen resume reads like a tacklebox full of Oscar bait: “Midnight Cowboy,” “Deliverance,” “Ali,” “Heat,” “Mission: Impossible” and others. And hell, it’s even fine that he’s spent the last few years playing Nic Cage’s father and engaging in forced slapstick with Helen Mirren in the “National Treasure” series. The man has played gigolos, soldiers, a pope, a WW2 freedom fighter and the only person to ever match wits with Muhammad Ali. He was Spielberg’s first choice to play Quint in “Jaws,” for the love of god. This is a guy who read a screenplay that involved getting bitten in half right before a giant murder-shark is blown up via compressed oxygen and shotgun, and said “No, that’s not badass enough.” And then, well, he started using his own words. He’s renounced his early roles and anti-war years as a product of a failed hippie zeitgeist that “refused to recognize evil.” Okay, that maybe holds some water. But in the same breath, he blames it on “Marxist propaganda,” which has about as much to do with the true core of the hippie movement as, well, modern-day hippies. Elsewhere, he goes into full crotchety-old-man mode, complaining about Obama “telling us what cars to drive” and using “radical Chicago tactics,” which is not even a specific thing, unless Obama is secretly using Kevin Costner to throw his enemies off of courthouse roofs and utter one-liners. Which I can get behind. Look, maybe it’s unfair of me to call these three individuals out. Surely there are other examples in the general citizenry who are exponentially more closedminded and partisan, considerably more dangerous to the national dialogue. But these actors and comedians have a platform: radio, television, film, etc. Their words and endorsements, whether they should or not, carry more weight than those of the average person, and when high-profile celebrities start engaging in this sort of knee-jerk social conservatism, it only serves to legitimize the lowest common denominator of political interaction. ASU and Metro Spirit alum Josh Ruffin is a published journalist and poet, who just received his MFA from Georgia College & State University. He was once the most un-intimidating bouncer at Soul Bar.

V. 23 | NO. 06

LEWIS BLACK

THIS SATURDAY - 8PM

V. 23 | NO. 06

METRO SPIRIT 02.09.12 13

Champion Coach

ERICJOHNSON

The man behind former UFC champ Brock Lesnar comes to Augusta Mixed Martial Arts Coach Greg Nelson is a Midwesterner, something that he makes clear with his work ethic and his wrestling pedigree. Nelson, who’s bringing a three-hour MMA class to Greubel’s gym on Sunday, February 12, at 10 a.m., wrestled for the University of Minnesota, as did former UFC Champion Brock Lesnar, one of his students. “The Midwest has been kind of a hotbed for mixed martial arts,” he says. “And probably about 70 percent of the fighters that are in the UFC have a wrestling base.” Though the mixed martial arts involves skills from a variety of different disciplines, Nelson says the foundation college wrestling provides has become a standard. “It’s a really big deal,” he says. “Those that don’t have it are really finding that they need to seek out somebody with good wrestling ability and those that can teach it.” Nelson himself started training seriously in 1983, moving from wrestling to Thai boxing and the Filipino Martial Arts. He opened his own gym in 1992 because he and a handful of other guys were really interested in the competition aspects of the new sport. With a background going back so far, Nelson has enjoyed seeing the sport recently mushroom in popularity. With intelligent marketing, smart TV deals and a unified power structure, the UFC has managed to eclipse the alphabet soup of boxing federations that used to attract viewers. “It’s starting to pick up, considering the fact that MMA itself is becoming more and more popular,” he says. “Right now, the UFC has over 40 shows a year, so with that popularity, the popularity of the mixed martial arts goes up and then more people are kind of seeking those trainers and fighters who have had some success with it.” And Nelson has certainly had success, most notably with Sean Sherk and Brock Lesnar. Lesnar, a former UFC heavyweight champion and a three-time champion in the WWE, was the 2000 NCAA Division I champion and is known for his high-level wrestling, surprising speed and, at 6 ft. 3 in., 285, his intimidating size. “Brock had started his MMA career with me and stayed all the way up to his championship,” Nelson says. As for the seminar, Nelson says to expect a little bit of everything. “Basically, I’ll be trying to fit all the tricks of the trade that I can get into a threehour seminar,” he says. “But I’ve really been known for my clinch work and bringing an element of the Thai boxing and the wrestling to make that transition from the striking to the clinch and then to the ground.” The seminar itself will be fast-paced and interactive. “There’s definitely going to be some good hand work involved, but we’re not getting down and sparring and totally getting into the heavy duty aspects of the MMA,” he says, saying that a wide variety of people attend his lectures. “It’s people who definitely have an interest in the mixed martial arts,” he says. “But not necessarily to be competitors. A lot of people are there because it’s a fun way to train and then some people want to get into the self defense aspect of things.” Given the experience and drive of the coach, though, it’s likely that even the casual participant will have at least a small desire to enter the ring and compete.

14 METRO SPIRIT 02.09.12

V. 23 | NO. 06

ERICJOHNSON

The Big Vote

Bowles throws the crowd and the commission a curve The much anticipated commission showdown over the management agreement of the TEE Center parking deck started with a one-two scolding by local activists and ended up with a solution that had many in the commission chambers scratching their heads. In between, the commission also got a collective reprimand for not appearing at three years worth of annual appreciation meals for Augusta’s first responders. Commissioners went out of their way to explain, apologize and ultimately thank the first responders for their service, but when it came to the parking deck agreement, they were far less cordial. First on the agenda was Al Gray, who started things off by listing all the issues involving the TEE Center parking deck that have contributed to the recent divisiveness, including the air rights issue, property liens and bribery trail, and then attempted to sway the commission into action through oratory. “While these are strong words, they are directed in a sense of hope and a

V. 23 | NO. 06

profound desire to make this the night that every one of you can recall with enormous pride — the night that 10 men and a mayor, who have feuded relentlessly, came together and started accomplishing that which predecessors of the last 40 years could not.” After his five minutes were up, Gray answered questions from several commissioners, including J.R. Hatney, who after asking a question, told Gray he liked to ask questions of experts, which prompted the mayor to ask Gray for a list of references. “I think that prior to taking expert witness, we do need to establish that that person is an expert in the field, and I’ve just not seen any evidence to that effect,” Copenhaver said. “No, sir — I wouldn’t dream of doing

that in front of this body,” Gray replied. “I promise you, that would be the last thing I would do.” Convention and Visitors Bureau Executive Director Barry White was scheduled to speak about the TEE Center’s pre-opening marketing plan, but he decided to return at a later time. Former mayoral candidate Lori Davis then addressed the commission in what was called “The TEE Center Parking Deck, A Citizen’s Perspective.” “I realize that it is not in the collective DNA of our paid and elected officials to pay attention to your citizens, but I believe that after today you may begin to think a bit differently,” she said. She finished her five minutes by requesting that the commission not vote for the operational agreement for the parking deck and to relieve both Administrator Fred Russell and special council for the TEE Center and related issues Jim Plunkett. When the time came for the actual vote, Commissioners Mason and Lockett immediately made a motion to deny

the parking agreement, but Mayor Pro Tem Joe Bowles pointed out that several cities, including Los Angeles, Chicago and New York, have built similar public buildings relying on air rights. He later made a substitute motion that the contract be approved pending the land being donated to the Land Bank Authority without any liens and the agreement limited to five years for both parking decks. Such a donation would basically put the land the parking deck is built on, which the city does not own, under city control while still allowing the tax savings that originally precipitated the air rights decision. Caught off guard by the option, which Bowles said after the meeting had only been discovered earlier that morning, Lockett and Mason complained about the eagerness with which the commission was prepared to jump at the decision. Ultimately, however, enough people jumped at the decision to pass the motion 6-3-1, with Lockett, Mason and Commissioner Corey Johnson voting no and Hatney abstaining.

METRO SPIRIT 02.09.12 15

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ENTERTAINMENT Hall, 1501 Monte Sano Ave. $15. Call 706-267-5416. Inaugural Performance of Augusta Amusement’s Big Band is Saturday, February 11, at 7:30 p.m. at the Jabez Sanford Hardin Performing Arts Center in Evans. $20-$25. Call 706-726-0366 or visit augustaamusements.com. Music at the Morris, featuring classical pianist Tim Ownings, is Sunday, February 12, at 2 p.m. at the Morris Museum of Art. Free. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org.

Members of ASU’s Opera Ensemble rehearse Rodgers and Hammerstein’s “Cinderella,” which is they will perform at the Maxwell Performing Arts Theatre on Friday, February 10, and Saturday, February 11, at 7:30 p.m., as well as Sunday, February 12, at 3 p.m. $5-$15. Call 706-667-4100 or visit aug.edu.

Arts

Art NOW!, featuring a conversation with artist Marcus Kenney, is Thursday, February 9, at 6 p.m. at the Morris Museum of Art. Free. Call 706-7247501 or visit themorris.org. Sunday Sketch is Sunday, February 12, from 2-3:30 p.m. at the Morris Museum of Art. Check-in in the activity room. Materials supplied by the museum. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org.

Music

2012 Winter Jam Tour: Christian Music’s Largest Annual Tour, featuring Skillet, is Thursday, February 9, at 7 p.m. at the James Brown Arena. Free, but a $10 donation at the door is requested. Call 877-4AUGTIX or visit georgialinatix.com. The Temptations, presented by Pops! at the Bell, is Thursday, February 9, at 7:30 p.m. at Bell Auditorium. $13-$36. Call 706-826-4705 or visit soaugusta.org. Lovers & Heroes of Broadway & Beyond, featuring Master tenor Stig Rossen, is Thursday, February 9, and Friday, February 10, at 8 p.m. at the URS Center for the Performing Arts in Aiken. $40. Call 803-643-4774 or visit aikenperformingartsgroup.org. V. 23 | NO. 06

The Isaacs: Live in Concert, is Friday, February 10, from 7-10 p.m. at New Beginning Ministries in Beech Island. $15-$25. Call 803-827-9172 or visit theisaacsnbm.eventbrite.com. Southern Soul & Song: Rhonda Vincent and the Rage, part of the Morris Museum of Art’s Budweiser True Music series, is Friday, February 10, at 7:30 p.m. at the Imperial Theatre. $13-$37. Call 706-7228341 or visit imperialtheatre.com. It’s All About Love, featuring an evening of love songs performed by the Augusta Choral Society and an instrumental ensemble, is Friday, February 10, at 7:30 p.m. at Sacred Heart Cultural Center. $10-$25. Call 706-826-4713 or visit augustachoralsociety.org. Rodgers and Hammerstein’s “Cinderella,” presented by the Augusta State Opera Ensemble, is Friday, February 10, and Saturday, February 11, at 7:30 p.m., and Sunday, February 12, at 3 p.m. at Augusta State University’s Maxwell Performing Arts Theatre. $5-$15; free with a valid JagCard. Call 706-667-4100 or visit tickets.aug.edu. The Red Wellies will perform Irish traditional music Saturday, February 11, at 7:30 p.m. at The Knights of Columbus

Friends in Song: Music of the Heart, featuring an evening of love songs performed by local musicians, is Tuesday, February 14, at 7 p.m. at St. John United Methodist Church in Augusta. A reception, featuring desserts by La Bonbonniere, Boll Weevil and Smitten Kitchen will follow the concert. Free and open to the public. Nursery provided. Call 706-724-9641 or visit stjohnaugusta.org. Black History Month Event, presented by the ASU Jazz Ensemble, is Tuesday, February 14, at 7:30 p.m. at Augusta State’s Maxwell Performing Arts Theatre. Call 706-667-4100 or visit aug.edu. Augusta State University Choirs will perform Thursday, February 16, at 7:30 p.m. at ASU’s Maxwell Performing Arts Theatre. Call 706-667-4100 or visit aug.edu.

Literary

CSRA Writers Meeting is Monday, February 13, at 6:30 p.m. at Georgia Military College in Martinez. Writers are invited to attend and bring eight copies of a manuscript to be critiqued. Call Steve Fox at 706-836-7315. Poetry Reading, featuring Craig Blais, winner of the 2012 Felix Pollak Prize in Poetry, is Wednesday, February 15, at 7 p.m., at Augusta State University (Jaguar Student Activities Center Coffeehouse). Free and open to the public. Call Anna Harris at 706-729-2508 or email aharri31@aug.edu. Brown Bag Book Discussion, featuring “Picking Cotton,” is Thursday, February 16, at 11 a.m. at Columbia County Library in Evans. Call 706-863-1946 or visit ecgrl.org.

Craft Talk and Poetry Workshop with poet Craig Blais is Thursday, February 16, from noon-2 p.m. at Augusta State University (Butler Meeting Room, Jaguar Student Activities Center). Free and open to the public. Pre-registration required. Call Anna Harris at 706-729-2508 or email aharri31@aug.edu. “Lamb in His Bosom” Book Club Discussion is Thursday, February 16, at 4 p.m. at Harlem Branch Library. Call 706-556-9795 or visit ecgrl.org. “Diverse Dialogue with Passion” Book Club, featuring discussion of “Twelve Years a Slave,” is Thursday, February 16, at 6 p.m. at Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

Theater

“Becky Shaw” shows February 10-11, 14 and 16-18, at 8 p.m. at Le Chat Noir. $15-$30. Call 706-722-3322 or visit lcnaugusta.com. Tyler Perry’s “The Haves and the Have Nots” is Sunday, February 12, at 3 p.m. and 7:30 p.m. at Bell Auditorium. $39.50. Call 706-262-4573 or visit augustaentertainmentcomplex.com. Auditions for “Man of La Mancha” are Sunday, February 12, at 3 p.m. and Monday, February 13, at 7 p.m. at the URS Center for the Performing Arts in Aiken. Performances are in May and June. Call 803-648-1438 or visit aikencommunityplayhouse.com. Auditions for “The Prince is Giving a Ball,” a production of Enopion Theatre Company, are every Thursday between February 16 and March 15 at the Kroc Center. Auditions are by appointment only. Performances will be held August 9-19. Call 706-771-7777 or visit enopion.com. “Experimental Relief,” a USC-Aiken University Theatre production that features five short plays, is ThursdayFriday, February 16-17, at 7:30 p.m. and Saturday, February 18, at 2 p.m. at the Etherredge Center. Donations will be accepted at the door for the Aiken SPCA. Call 803-641-3305 or visit usca.edu.

Flix

“Ralph Ellison: The Self-Taught Writer” shows Thursday, February 9, at noon at METRO SPIRIT 02.09.12 17

Headquarters Branch Library. Bring your lunch. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. “Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist” shows Thursday, February 9, from 5:30-8 p.m. at Wallace Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-7226275 or visit ecgrl.org. International Film Festival, sponsored by USC-Aiken’s Department of Languages, Literature and Culture, features the German film “Der Tunnel” on Thursday, February 9, and the French film “La Haine,” on Tuesday, February 14, and Thursday, February 16, from 6:30-9:30 p.m. at USC Aiken’s the Peland Building (Room 106). $1-$2. Call 803-641-3569 or visit usca.edu. YA Movie Night: “Mr. Popper’s Penguins” is Monday, February 13, from 5:30-7 p.m. at Appleby Branch Library. Call 706736-6244 or visit ecgrl.org. “Veer,” presented by the ASU Spring Film Series 2012, shows Monday, February 13, at 7 p.m. at Augusta State University (University Hall, Room 170). $2. Free with a valid JagCard. Call 706-72902416 or visit aug.edu. “Rancho Deluxe” shows Tuesday, February 14, at 6:30 p.m. at Headquarters Branch Library. Free. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Vampire Date Night, featuring “Breaking Dawn” (Part I), is Tuesday, February 14, from 7-9 p.m. at North Augusta Branch Library. Bring your own refreshments. Call 803-642-7575 or visit abbe-lib.org. “The Toe Tactic,” presented by the Southern Circuit Film Series, shows Wednesday, February 15, at 6 p.m. at the Morris Museum of Art. A question and answer session, with writer, director and animator Emily Hubley, will follow the film. $3 for nonmembers; free for members. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org. “Inside Job,” presented by USC-Aiken’s School of Business, shows Thursday, February 16, at 5 p.m. at the Penland Administrative Building (Room 106). Discussion to follow. Free and open to the public. Call Dr. David Harrison at 803641-3340 or visit usca.edu.

Special Events

Beer Tasting is Friday, February 10, from 5-8 p.m. Call 803-279-9522 or visit winewordsc.com. 18 METRO SPIRIT 02.09.12

Paine College Homecoming and 12th Annual Scholarship Masked Ball, featuring Sugarfoot’s Ohio Players, is Friday, February 10, at 7 p.m. at the Augusta Marriott at the Convention Center. Visit paine.edu. Lokal Loudness 2012 Choice Awards and 20th Anniversary Celebration is Friday, February 10, at 8 p.m. at Sky City. Call Stoney Cannon at 706-836-5683 or visit lokalloudness.com. Augusta Comedy Hour, featuring Kenneth Brown, Helen Egwu, Jamar Patton, Latonya Fortune, Courtney D. Rahney, Anthony R. Page, Joi Reynolds, Keylanni Hatfield, Victoria Felder, Yazmine Cruz, Brother Travis Wright, Naimah Klubieddin, Latisha Bryant, and music by The Blue-Belles, is Friday, February 10, at 8:30 p.m. and Saturday, February 11, at 6:30 p.m. at Blue Bistro Theater. $12. Reservations required. Email bluebistrotheater@gmail.com. Wine & Swine, a benefit for the First Tee of Augusta, is Saturday, February 11, from noon-5 p.m. at Lake Olmstead Stadium. The barbecue cookoff and wine tasting is $20, and the I Run Augusta 5K at 3 p.m. is $25, which includes admission to the cookoff and wine tasting. Visit thefirstteeaugusta.org. Spring Tea and Fashion Show, presented by the North Augusta Council of Garden Clubs, is Saturday, February 11, from 2-4 p.m. at the North Augusta Community Center. $10. Call Jean Timmons at 803-278-2679. Lewis Black’s In God We Rust is Saturday, February 11, at 8 p.m. at the Bell Auditorium. $27.50-$47.50. Call 877-4AUGTIX or visit georgialinatix.com. The Amazing Kreskin, the Mentalist, is Saturday, February 11, at 8 p.m. at the Imperial Theatre. $10-$31. Call 706722-8341 or visit imperialtheatre.com. Drugs Don’t Work Seminar, featuring presentations by Augusta’s Superior Court Judge and District Attorney, is Thursday, February 16, from 3-5 p.m. at Augusta Technical College (Jack B. Patrick Auditorium). $25-$35. Register online at augustachamber.net. Call Daphne Jones at 706-821-1305 or email djones@augustausa.com. The 11th Annual Historian Awards are Thursday, February 16, at 6:30 p.m. at the Lucy Craft Laney Museum of Black History. Call 706-724-3576 or visit

lucycraftlaneymuseum.com. Savannah River Site Citizens Advisory Board Committee Meetings are each Tuesday in February at the DOE Meeting Center, 230 Village Green Blvd., in Aiken at 6 p.m. Call 803-952-7884.

Health

Georgia Health Sciences Children’s Medical Center Car Seat Class is Thursday, February 9, from 5:45-8 p.m. at Georgia Health Sciences Building 1010C. $10. Financial assistance is available to Medicaid and Peach Care eligible families. Call 706-721-7606 or visit georgiahealth.org/kids. Bariatric Seminar, with Drs. Michael Blaney and Darren Glass, is Thursday, February 9, from 6-7 p.m. at Doctors Hospital (South Tower, Classroom 1). Free. Pre-registration required. Call 706651-4343 or visit doctors-hospital.net. Surgical Weight-Loss Seminar, with Drs. Edward Rapp and Luciano Fiszer, is Thursday, February 9, at 6 p.m. at Aiken Regional Medical Center (Sixth Floor, Classrooms A & B). A complimentary light dinner will be served. Pre-registration required. Call 803-641-5751 or visit aikenregional.com. Georgia Health Sciences Weight Loss Seminar is Thursday, February 9, at 7 p.m. at the Columbia County Library in Evans. Free. Pre-registration required. Call 706-721-2609, or visit georgiahealth.org/weightloss. Stepping into Manhood is Saturday, February 11, from 9:30 a.m.-noon at Trinity Hospital of Augusta, and features information for boys ages 12-15 and their fathers, male relatives or friends. $10 per person. Call 706-481-7604 or visit trinityofaugusta.com. Childbirth Tours are Saturday, February 11, from 10:30-11:30 a.m. and Tuesday, February 14, from 7:30-8:30 p.m. at Georgia Health Sciences Medical Center (Seventh Floor West, Labor & Delivery). Pre-registration required. Call Carla Allen at 706-721-9351 or visit georgiahealth.org. Breast Self-Exam Class is Monday, February 13, at 4 p.m. at the University Breast Health Center. Free. Preregistration required. Call 706-7744141 or visit universityhealth.org. “HUG” Your Baby, which provides Help,

Understanding and Guidance, is Monday, February 13, from 4-5 p.m. at Trinity Hospital of Augusta. Call 706-481-7727 or visit trinityofaugusta.com. Eating Smart on the Run, a class for kids and teens, is Monday, February 13, from 6-7 p.m. at Aiken Regional Medical Center (Sixth Floor, Classrooms A & B). A healthy meal is included. Call 800-3228322 or visit aikenregional.com. Eating Heart Healthy is Wednesday, February 15, at 8:25 a.m., 9:25 a.m. and 1:55 p.m. at University’s Heart and Vascular Institute (First Floor, Classroom 2). Pre-registration required. Call 706774-3278 or visit universityhealth.org. Healthy U Cooking Expo, featuring Kim Beavers of Eating Well with Kim, is Wednesday, February 15, from 10 a.m.noon at the Kroc Center. Free and open to the public. Visit universityhealth.org. Big Brother/Big Sister, featuring activities to help children welcome a new baby, is Thursday, February 16, from 6-7:30 p.m. at Doctors Hospital (Medical Office Building 1, Suite 310). Pre-registration required. Call 706-651-BABY or visit doctors-hospital.net. Breastfeeding Class, sponsored by University Hospital, is Thursday, February 16, from 7-9 p.m. at Babies R Us on Washington Road. Free. Pre-registration required. Call 706-774-2825 or visit universityhealth.org.

Support

ALS Support Lunch and Learn is Thursday, February 9, from 11 a.m.-2 p.m. at Georgia Health Sciences Medical Office Building, room 4306. Lunch is provided. Pre-registration required. Call 706-721-2681 or visit georgiahealth.org. Living Well with Diabetes Adult Support Group meets Thursday, February 9, at 5 p.m. at University Hospital Cafeteria (Dining Room 1). Call 706-868-3241 or visit universityhealth.org. Breast Cancer Support Group is Thursday, February 9, from 5:30-7:30 p.m. at Georgia Health Sciences Cancer Center (First Floor, Community Room). Call 706721-4109 or visit georgiahealth.org. Cancer Survivor Support Group meets Thursday, February 9, from 6-7 p.m. at Augusta Oncology Associates (upstairs), and features support for cancer V. 23 | NO. 06

FORT GORDON DINNER THEATRE PRESENTS SHOW DATES:

February 24, 25 & March 2, 3, 8, 9, 10, 2012 MENU:

Ginger-Soy London Broil, Lemon Pepper Tilapia, Santé Fe Chicken, Potato Gorgonzola Gratin, Wild Rice Casserole, Roasted Vegetables Provencal, Honey Glazed Carrots, Spring Mix Salad with Choice of Dressing, Deluxe Dessert Table

TICKETS:

Civilians: $40 | Seniors (65 & over), Retirees, DA Civilians, Active-Duty E7 & above: $38 | Active-Duty E6 & below: $30 | Show only: $25

For Reservations, Call 706-793-8552

Book by John Caird Music and lyrics by Stephen Schwartz Based on a concept by Charles Lisanby A two-act Pop/Rock musical, Rated PG, from Stephen Schwartz (“Godspell” and “Pippin”) and John Caird (“Les Miserables”) comes a joyous and inspirational musical about parents, children and faith ... not to mention centuries of unresolved family business! Freely based on the story of Genesis, Children Of Eden is a frank, heartfelt and often humorous examination of the age-old conflict between parents and children. Adam, Eve, Noah and the “Father” who created them deal with the headstrong, cataclysmic actions of their respective children. The show ultimately delivers a bittersweet but inspiring message: that “the hardest part of love ... is letting go.” An expansive, ambitious musical – a rich score with pageantry and sweep. – L.A. Times

TABLE of CONTENTS

- DRAWING VALUE IN THE ARTS

- BARRE NONE

- LOOKING GOOD FEELS BETTER

- MAGIC PILL?

- WHAT’S YOUR WORKOUT?

- TELL US WHAT YOU REALLY WANT

- GOURMET RELAY

One of the perks of doing what we do is we get to do what we want, how we want, when we want to. And we wanted to create a magazine focusing on living life with passion. Everyone you will meet in these pages is passionate about something real. That’s interesting to us. Hopefully you as well.

Want to advertise in the ELEMENTS? 706.496.2535 or 706.373.3636

AmyChristian|production director amy@themetrospirit.com

JoeWhite|publisher-sales manager joe@themetrospirit.com

GabrielVega|lead designer gabe@themetrospirit.com

BrendaCarter| account executive brenda@themetrospirit.com

EricJohnson|writer eric@themetrospirit.com

LaurenRoman|account executive lauren@themetrospirit.com

JenniferPoole|publisher’s assisstant jennifer@themetrospirit.com

COVER DESIGN | GABRIELVEGA Elements is a free magazine published monthly focusing on Mind, Body and Spirit. Published monthly by 15House, LLC. Owner/Publisher Joe White. Legal: Phillip Hibbard. Reproduction or use without permission is prohibited.

FEBRUARY 2012 ELEMENTS

METRO SPIRIT 02.09.12

Drawi

ng Va

lue in

the

Arts Community leaders find reasons to make the arts a priority

Though government and arts organizations seldom agree on the amount of funding arts programs should receive, just about everyone understands the important role the arts plays in the life of a community. “The arts are a huge driving economic engine for the city as well as for the state,” Mayor Deke Copenhaver said before a community arts forum geared at developing a strategic plan for the Georgia Council for the Arts. “It’s something that needs to be focused on as a tool for economic development as well.” Copenhaver sits on the International Development Committee of the State Chamber of Commerce, where he sees first-hand how other countries value the arts when they’re looking for places to locate a business. Not only are they looking for a healthy arts climate that

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(Left to right) Karen Paty, Mayor Deke Copenhaver and Brenda Durant Karen Paty is Director of the Georgia Council for the Arts | Brenda Durant is Executive Director of the GAAC will benefit their employees, they’re looking for a community that is engaged with the arts around them. Arts education programs, he said, are vital to ensuring that such community engagement continues to exist. Karen Paty, director of the Georgia Council for the Arts, said that while funding is currently tight for all types of arts programs, she hoped that by laying

the groundwork now, communities will be prepared to move forward when the funding does come. “What should we be doing at this moment?” she asked. “How do we build a platform to work with so that when other resources become available, we’re not pulling things out of thin air, but are instead driven by a very clear vision of what we want to do and where we want

to be in five years?” Copenhaver said the importance of arts education programs can not be overestimated. “I’m a living, breathing example of the benefit of the arts,” he said. “I grew up painting and writing, and having that creative problem solving that I learned through the arts sure helps me in my job today.”

ELEMENTS FEBRUARY 2012

BARRE

None First of its kind class in Augusta offers a chance at a dancer’s body

The length of a ballet dancer’s arms and legs — like they’ve been stretched on some Medieval torture device — have long been the envy of many a woman. Now, there’s a class available in Augusta that aims to give women those long, lean muscles without having to don a tutu or pointe shoes. Heck, you don’t even need to be able to dance. “It’s the simplest class ever to follow,” says Lynn Horseman, who teaches Barre at Oxygen Fitness Studio in Surrey Center. “I encourage the biggest klutz in the world to come try it because anyone can do it.” Barre, a one-hour class, and Barre Express, 45 minutes, combine a little ballet, a little pilates, some yoga and a bit of calisthenics to give participants a whole lot of workout. And while it gets the heart rate going, it’s primarily a weight training class, even though very few weights are used. “This is just like weight training, except you’re using the weight of your body as the tool,” Horseman told the eight participants at a recent Monday night class, who seemed prepared for the hour-long workout yet were happily groaning when the energetic instructor called for more reps toward the end of the class. That class got off to a quick start, with a short warm up followed by some upper-body exercises for arms, chest and back with light weights. After alternating between several sets of pushups, planks and tricep dips, with a few moments of stretching thrown in for good measure, the women got to their feet for what Horseman called “booty work at the barre.” What followed were variations of squats — some with feet flat and some on toes, some with a full range of movement and some with pulses at the bottom of the movement — that alternated with reverse leg lifts. “Come on girls,” Horseman said at one point. “If you don’t squeeze your butt, no one else will!” All the while, and during the entire class, in fact, Horseman would shout encouragement while walking around, examining everyone’s form and explaining why the class included certain movements. Working alternating muscle groups is a big focus of Barre and why, for instance, participants go back and forth between lunges, which work the quads, and reverse leg lifts, which work the gluts and hamstrings. When working on core, which followed the barre work, Horseman FEBRUARY 2012 ELEMENTS

AMYCHRISTIAN METRO SPIRIT 02.09.12

explained that without strengthening the back, ab work wouldn’t be quite as effective. “Your back and your abdominals are like a sandwich,” she explained. “Both of them have to be good.” And though she encourages participants to push themselves, saying that it takes a few days for newcomers’ bodies to get used to the moves, she also encourages them to pay attention. “Anytime you do something new you’re going to feel it,” she said. “Your knees are going to feel it tomorrow but you’ll be okay. Just stretch it and come back and work it out. But if you feel something you don’t think is right, come talk to me. We’ll figure it out.” After class, Horseman explained that a fitness regimen similar to Barre was actually started about 30 years ago by a woman named Lotte Berk, who used it in physical therapy and rehabilitation. “It’s something

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that’s been out there for a while,” she said. “I started reading up on it a couple of years ago and then started going to Atlanta to go to classes and just tried to educate

myself.” Proponents of Barre says that, in 4-6 weeks time, regular exercisers can lose two inches and can see a noticeable lift in their butts. They recommend doing the class 4-5 times a week. Even participating 1-2 times a week, Horseman said, can make a difference. “There’s a big emphasis on core in Barre, which is everything,” she said.

“Core helps with posture and is the basis for any exercise and anything in life you’re going to do.” The fantastic dancer’s body, therefore, is just icing on the cake. For more information on Barre, call Oxygen Fitness Studio at 706-364-7746 or visit oxygenfitstudio.com.

ELEMENTS FEBRUARY 2012

GoodFeels Better LOOKING

Program helps women cancer patients boost self-esteem

Truan says she’s seen first-hand how effective the class can be. “I was in the class yesterday [the inaugural class at Doctor’s Hospital] and the women came in a little quiet and not quite sure what to expect,” she says. “By the time they walked out, they wanted me to take pictures of them with their phones. I think it does so much for their self esteem.” And that boost in self esteem comes at an important time. “As a woman, you’re going through treatment, you’re losing your hair — if you’re a breast cancer patient, you’re possibly having a mastectomy,” Truan says. “Your body is changing so much through your cancer journey and this sort of helps restore that sense of normalcy and kind of makes you feel like a woman again. I’ve never been in a session when a woman didn’t walk away feeling so much better than when she came in.” Because chemotherapy typically causes hair loss, including eyelashes and eyebrows, the cosmetologists spend additional time teaching techniques with eyeliner and mascara to help those parts of the face feel more defined. “One really awesome technique that’s kind of unique to Look Good Feel Better is that they’ll actually teach the ladies how to make a turban out of a T-shirt,” she says. In addition to the boost in confidence that comes from the attention to appearance, it also helps build important relationships and emotional support. “The bonds they form within the class have been really neat to witness,” she says. “Yesterday, I saw two ladies who were very different just really connect through the program. They were really building each other up.” For more information about the Look Good Feel Better program, including times and locations, call Augusta’s American Cancer Society office at 706-731-9900.

ERICJOHNSON

Every Friday! Reservations Required

FEBRUARY 2012 ELEMENTS

706.288.2200

Fresh Lobster Night

1069 Stevens Creek Road

Not only does a cancer diagnosis fill a woman with fear, it can also rob her of aspects of her femininity. But thanks to a partnership between the American Cancer Society, the Personal Care Products Council Foundation and the Professional Beauty Association/National Cosmetology Association, Augusta women undergoing cancer treatment have a chance to feel better by looking good. The Look Good Feel Better program is a free, two-hour program that teaches cancer patients beauty techniques in order to help them adjust to the changes in their appearance, including hair loss, brittle nails and changes in the skin. The program is offered once a month at differing times at the American Cancer Society offices off Boy Scout Road, University Hospital’s Breast Health Center, Georgia Health Sciences Cancer Center and now also at Doctor’s Hospital. It brings licensed cosmetologists in contact with patients in order to teach techniques that help the patients feel better about their appearance. “The first hour is typically spent on a 12step makeup regimen,” says Danielle Truan, community manager for the American Cancer Society in Augusta. “The second portion of the class is focused on skin, hair and nail techniques.” Participants receive a cosmetic kit valued at around $300. The brand-neutral cosmetics inside are donated by the Personal Care Products Council Foundation and are applied by volunteer cosmetologists who have received appropriate training from the American Cancer Society. “They’ll help the ladies apply some of the makeup, but then really challenge them to apply it themselves so that they can become familiar with the technique,” Truan says. “We try to keep the class size to no more than 10 women so that the cosmetologists can really give a lot of attention to each lady in class.”

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MagicPILL

When it comes to weight loss, some of us are more willing to work than others

When it comes to quick-fix weight loss products, Nicole Moore, a clinical dietitian at Georgia Health Sciences University Medical Center, has seen quite a few, but she doesn’t waste a whole lot of time counting them any more. “I think we’re all under the assumption that something else is going to come around,” she says. “Next week it will be something different.” The flavor of the week right now seems to be Sensa, the weight loss system that claims to help you lose weight without adding exercise or changing your eating habits. Sprinkle the Sensa “Tastants” on your food, and the smell and taste receptors in your brain will release hormones that trick your body into feeling full. Or so the company claims. “They’re a little vague, aren’t they?” Moore chuckles. Because the Food and Drug Administration doesn’t regulate supplements such as herbs and vitamins, products like Sensa continue to sell the promise of easy weight loss to a public that’s eagerly buying. According to company literature, over 100,000 people have said “yes” to Sensa. And it’s not just Sensa. The shelves — and airwaves — are filled with similarly miraculous weight loss products. “People respond to things that make losing weight easier,” Moore says. “It’s hard to lose weight, and I think that’s why people make it sound easy. Everyone wants that magic pill.” Or salt. Where Sensa is concerned, there is plenty of

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ELEMENTS FEBRUARY 2012

doubt, including a report on ABC’s “20/20” that debunks Sensa’s claim that it was peer reviewed by the Endocrine Society. “Essentially, what we’re all looking for is a quick fix,” Moore continued. “Unfortunately, that usually isn’t something that’s going to work. Something that’s going to work in the short term isn’t going to work in the long term because if you’ve ever tried to lose weight, it’s not just about losing weight, it’s about keeping it off.” If you can’t live with what you’re doing to lose the weight — if you can’t handle the diet or stick to the weight loss program — you can’t just go back to

in the first place come back. Before you know it, you’ve become one of the yo-yo dieters. “It messes with your metabolism,” Moore says of the gain and loss cycle. “Essentially, we want to keep that metabolism going strong, but if you keep depriving it and then refeeding it, it just kind of messes that up and makes it harder to lose weight in the long run.” As a clinical nutritionist, Moore sees a variety of patients with different nutritional challenges, including some people who are sent to her by their physicians not because of a present problem, but because of the potential for heart trouble or diabetes.

important to her that the weight loss method her patients choose is safe. “I watch TV and see things and sometimes I try to go to find out what it is, because I have people who are going to try things and ultimately what I want to do is make sure it’s not going to harm them,” she says. And just because it’s on TV or available in stores doesn’t mean it’s safe. Ephedra, a weight-loss supplement that was banned by the FDA because of its effect on the heart, is an example of something that was on the market for a time, but was eventually considered harmful. “Sometimes, they don’t tell you a lot about what it’s supposed to do or what

them.” What successful weight loss ultimately comes down to, Moore says, is portion control, exercising and choosing healthy foods. But as basic as that sounds, there are plenty of differing ideas about what constitutes healthy eating and good exercise. Atkins or South Beach, strenuous workouts or relaxed — everybody’s got an opinion about the best diet and exercise regimen. Augustan Penny Danner is a runner who has competed in several marathons and is a proponent of the Paleo Diet. “A lot of diets are out there as a way to lose weight,” she says. “This focuses on

what you were doing before and expect the weight to stay off. But for many, that’s what happens. The diet falters, the program goes by the wayside and the old habits that allowed the weight gain

“Then I have patients who already have heart disease, diabetes or kidney disease who are trying to lose weight or control their diabetes,” she says. Whatever the reason, obviously it’s

the ingredients are,” she says. “If I’m not sure what it is, then I can’t tell you if it’s going to work, because there’s nothing behind it except for the very nice people on the commercial who say it worked for

the fact that if you eat this way and heal your body, then you’ll lose weight.” Though losing weight isn’t the primary focus, she says that if you were previously eating the Standard American

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Diet, you would lose weight simply because of the healthy approach. The Paleo Diet is based on the idea that the best diet is the one we were genetically designed to eat. Basically, it goes back to our hunter-gatherer roots, relying on fresh fruits and vegetables, lean meats and seafood while avoiding things like whole grains and dairy. One of the advantages of the Paleo Diet, Danner says, is the fact that it’s easily portable and not too dramatically removed from typical American food choices. “You can have bacon and eggs for breakfast,” she says. “You can have a salad and meat at lunch and meat and veggies for dinner. And it doesn’t matter what time of day — if you’re hungry, you eat.” They key is to stop eating when you’re full. Though there are some aspects of the diet that aren’t always as easy to adhere to as others — meats that are grass fed are preferable to those that aren’t and staying away from gluten is often more difficult than it would seem — Danner says the diet is not a historical reenactment of Paleolithic days. “We’re just eating healthy foods, listening to our bodies and letting them heal themselves,” she says. While Moore hasn’t fully studied the Paleo Diet, she says it sounds more legitimate than most of the fad diets, which often exclude whole food groups. “In general, I don’t see it as too bad,” she says. “I’m not sure I’d say I’m 100 percent on board, but I think it has some ideas in there that would be pretty decent.” For Danner, who’s been toying with the diet for about a year and has been seriously following it since January, the benefits have been noticeable. “I have a ton more energy than I used to,” she says. “I stopped running as much and I try to do smart exercises versus what I was doing before, where I was feeling guilty if I wasn’t doing something every day. Now, I’m working out hard three or four days a week and I’m eating smart and I’m feeling good.” And all without a sprinkle.

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Surrey Center | 443 Highland Avenue | 706.738.8386

Gift Baskets

Make the Best Valentine's Gift!

American Heart Association Valentine Raffle

FEBRUARY 2012 ELEMENTS

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GoodBoats: Paddling for a Purpose First Annual Dragon Boat Festival April 28, 2012 at Lake Olmstead, Augusta, GA Info: 706-650-5760 or dragonboat@goodwillworks.org www.facebook.com/GoodBoats 14 METRO SPIRIT 02.09.12

ELEMENTS FEBRUARY 2012

Workout? WHAT’S YOUR

Vera Stewart

I’m going on 10 years having a Monday through Friday routine at the gym every morning... bright and early. I rise at 4:30, peanut butter on toast/ hot tea and then off to Gold’s Gym. I’ve graduated from a trainer and manage my own routine. I stay fairly dedicated to a beginning rigid adherence to Body for Life, low carbs, high protein and no alcohol!

Ashley D. Thomas Run like hell from my kids?

Donna Wiley

I take spin two days a week and run two days a week. I also lift weights four days a week.

Suzanne B. Lilly

Oh my! Sorry, I don’t exercise! At best I walk to the mailbox a few times a week and I usually take the stairs instead of an elevator (I have transportation issues involving small spaces).

FEBRUARY 2012 ELEMENTS

Butch Holley

I work at the Kroc Center, so I try to take a lunch break to get in a quick workout at least twice a week. Every weekend I am either hunting, hiking, camping or playing sports with the kids. All in all I figure I log at least seven miles of running/walking each week, along with at least two days of strength training.

Dori Blair

I go to the gym at least three times a week (four if possible). Currently I am trying to target legs, so I do a variety of legs exercises for about 45-60 min at least two times per week. I also like to take a one-hour combat class and a day of cardio once a week each. Also, diet is key!

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You’ve heard that song, “All I Want for Christmas (Is My Two Front Teeth)”? Well, that poor kid, for whom looking normal would have been a better present than all the toys in the world, got us to wondering: What do women really want for Valentine’s Day. Florists, restaurants and retailers would have you believe that fancy-schmancy is the key to a woman’s heart, but that’s not what our unofficial, and very unscientific, poll found. The answer, it seems, is a good news/bad news situation for guys: You might not have to spend as much money to make her happy, but you will have to be paying attention to discover what she really wants. A relaxing day. In other words, a day off!!!! Donna Hall

Wishes VALENTINE’S

Local women share what they’d really like for Valentine’s Day.

I would really love a spa day at a local salon… massage, facial, mani/pedi, body wrap, etc., to unwind from my busy life! Amy Gustafson

I’m currently not in a relationship. However, if I was dating someone, I would like for he and I to go racing on the course at Road Atlanta, and end the day with a nice dinner at the Sun Dial Restaurant atop the Westin Peachtree Plaza. Danielle Harris

I would like for husbands and children everywhere to stop exactly at 7 p.m., take a look around you, and then PICK UP AND/OR CLEAN EVERYTHING YOU SEE. You will have a happy wife/mother. And your socks/ boxers/dishes/Legos/neverending-supply-of-PollyPocket-accessories will no longer be pissing us off. Or, For Valentine’s Day, I would like for Legos to make all future bricks glow in the dark. Because those suckers hurt when I step on them in the dark. Or, For Valentine’s Day, I would like a lifetime supply of dark chocolate candied orange peel from La Bonbonniere. Or, For Valentine’s Day, I would like a whitewater kayak. I’m that simple, guys. Whoever gives me a kayak, wins. The timer starts... now. Or, For Valentine’s Day — and I think I speak for all women in this — we would really like a lifesized painting of Ryan Gosling’s abs. I’m sure you can find it on Etsy. Stacey Hudson

Zero-calorie Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, a Roomba and (taking a lead from Madonna’s half-time performance) world peace. Anna Caroline Harris

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relay

GOURMET

Eating out at a nice restaurant is a treat, but not on Valentine’s Day, says local cooking fan Katie Hansen. “There is nothing romantic about waiting hours to sit elbow to elbow with every other person in town,” she said. “The servers are stressed, the kitchen is freaking out and you’re going to feel rushed to finish and get out of the madhouse.” Katie, as a former restaurant server, knows this firsthand. But she also knows the power of a home-cooked meal. Katie received her first cookbook from her mom at the age of 10 and has been “playing around” in the kitchen ever since. She even made her first holiday turkey at 14. “When my parents separated, and I was living at home with my dad and younger sisters, I convinced my dad to let me cook for them five nights a week,” she said. “I’m always trying new recipes so I wouldn’t say I have a special dish, but my friends and family have said my carrot cake could win a ‘throw down’ against Very Vera.” Katie, married to Andrew for 13 years, has two kids Brandon, 14, and Justin, 12, as well as a stepdaughter Alex, 21. When she’s not cooking for her family, friends or at her job as a personal assistant, she’s most likely doing something that revolves around Team in Training. She is mentoring runners for the fifth time this spring and is training for the Rock & Roll Half Marathon in San Diego in June. As for what to cook this Valentine’s Day, Katie suggests fillet of beef recipe, one of the first “fancy” dishes she ever made that is still simple enough for anyone, regardless of cooking skill. “This year have a romantic night in and use the money you save on a couple’s massage,” she advises. “That’s romantic!”

bouillon cube to the pan. Cook until the liquid has reduced by half (about 2-3 minutes). Return vegetables and meat to pan and cook just long enough to heat everything through (1-2 minutes). Season with salt and pepper, garnish with parsley. Serve with oven roasted potato wedges that you have tossed with garlic, olive oil and rosemary. For an easy romantic dessert, dip fresh strawberries in melted chocolate and set aside until ready to serve.

KATIEHANSEN

Fillet of Beef with Wild Mushrooms

6 tablespoons olive oil ½ lb. shiitake mushrooms (stems discarded, caps cut into ¼” slices) 1 red bell pepper, seeded and cut into strips 3 shallots, minced 2 Tbsp. butter 1 lb. beef filet cut into 2/3” slices 1/3 c. white wine (substitute chicken broth if you don’t cook with alcohol) 1/3 c. Marsala (you can substitute grape juice with a splash of balsamic instead of alcohol) 1 beef bouillon cube Salt and pepper to taste Chopped parsley for garnish Sauté mushrooms and red peppers in the olive oil until almost tender (about four minutes). Add the shallots and sauté three more minutes, stirring frequently. Transfer vegetables to a bowl and return pan to stove. Increase heat to high and add the butter. As soon as butter stops foaming, add the slices of tenderloin. Brown meat quickly, about two minutes on each side and transfer to a plate. Add white wine, Marsala and

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survivors and their families. Sponsored by Doctors Hospital. Call 706-651-2283 or visit doctors-hospital.net. LaLeche League, offering support for pregnant women and nursing mothers and their babies, meets Friday, February 10, at 10 a.m. at Trinity Hospital of Augusta. Contact Julie Menger at 706737-2405 or Stephanie Bussey at 706855-1630 or visit trinityofaugusta.com. Mended Hearts, for people with heart disease, spouses and family members of people with heart disease, medical professionals and other interested individuals, meets Friday, February 10, from 10:30 a.m.-1:30 p.m. at the USCAiken Business Conference Center. Call 803-642-6897. The Chatterbox Club of Augusta, offering support for individuals and their families who have experienced a laryngectomy, meets Sunday, February 12, at 3 p.m. at Trinity Hospital of Augusta (Sister Mary Louise Conference Room). Call 706-4817359 or visit trinityofaugusta.com. Look Good… Feel Better Cancer Support Group, offering support to women experiencing appearance-related side effects of chemotherapy and radiation, meets Monday, February 13, from 5:307:30 p.m. at Georgia Health Sciences Cancer Center (First Floor, Community Room). Call 706-721-0466 or visit georgiahealth.org.

774-4141 or visit universityhealth.org. Aiken Cares Alzheimer’s Support Group meets Tuesday, February 14, from 11 a.m.noon at Cumberland Village Library. Call 800-322-8322 or visit aikenregional.com. Diabetes Support Group meets Tuesday, February 14, from 3-4 p.m. at the O’Dell Weeks Center in Aiken. Pre-registration required. Call 803-293-0023. Caregiver Support Group meets Tuesday, February 14, from 3-4 p.m. at Doctors Hospital (Medical Office Building 1, Suite 310). Call 706-651-2283 or visit doctors-hospital.net. Let’s Talk Cancer Support Group meets Tuesday, February 14, from 5:30-7 p.m. at Georgia Health Sciences Cancer Center (First Floor, Community Room). Call 706721-0550 or visit georgiahealth.org. Diabetes Support Group meets Tuesday, February 14, from 6-7 p.m. at Doctors Hospital’s Health Living Center (Suite 110). Pre-registration required. Call 706651-4343 or visit doctors-hospital.net. Georgia Health Sciences Blood Cancer/ BMT Support Group meets Wednesday, February 15, from 11:30 a.m.-1 p.m. at Georgia Health Sciences Cancer Center (First Floor, Community Room). Call 706-721-9134, 706-721-1634 or visit georgiahealth.org.

The Pink Magnolias Breast Cancer Support Group meets Monday, February 13, at 6:30 p.m. at the University Hospital Breast Health Center. Call 706-774-4141 or visit universityhealth.org.

Trauma Support Group meets Wednesday, February 15, from noon-1 p.m. at Georgia Health Sciences Medical Center (Fourth Floor West Conference Room). Call 706-721-4633 or 7213264, or visit georgiahealth.org.

Men’s Breast Cancer Support Group meets Monday, February 13, at 7 p.m. at University Breast Health Center. Call 706-

Spine Education and Support Group meets Wednesday, February 15, from 1-2:30 p.m. at University Hospital

(Levi Hill III Auditorium). Free. Call April Matthews at 706-774-2760 or visit universityhealth.org. Alzheimer’s Disease Support GroupWestwood meets Thursday, February 16, at 3 p.m. at Westwood Nursing Facility in Evans. Free. Call 706-863-7514. Weight Loss Support Group meets Thursday, February 16, at 7 p.m. at Trinity Hospital of Augusta (Sister Mary Louise Conference Room). Call 706-4817298 or visit trinitybariatrics.com. Skip to my Lupus meets Thursday, February 16, from 7-9 p.m. at Aiken Regional Medical Center (Dining Room A). Call 803-251-9413 or visit aikenregional.com.

Education

Computing for Beginners Classes begin Thursday, February 9, at 10 a.m. at Diamond Lakes Branch Library, and continue for two consecutive Thursdays. Free. Preregistration required. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. Computer Boot Camp: Introduction to the Internet is Friday, February 10, at 10 a.m. at Columbia County Library. Call 706-8631946 or visit ecgrl.org. Computer Boot Camp: Email for Beginners is Monday, February 13, at 10 a.m. at Columbia County Library. Call 706-8631946 or visit ecgrl.org. Computer Boot Camp: Google School is Monday, February 13, at 1 p.m. at Columbia County Library. Call 706-8631946 or visit ecgrl.org. Microsoft Publisher I class is Wednesday, February 15, at 10 a.m. at Headquarters Branch Library. PINES card and preregistration required. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Shoot the Ones You Love, led by professional photographer Heather Sargent, is Wednesday, February 15, from 4-6:30 p.m. at Gravatt Camp and Conference Center in Aiken. $30, and includes materials and a light supper. Bring your camera, and significant other or friend. Call 803-6481817 or visit campgravatt.org. Educator Expo, presented by Augusta State University, is Thursday, February 16, from 11 a.m.-2 p.m. at Christenberry Fieldhouse. Call 706-737-1604 or visit aug.edu.

V. 23 | NO. 06

Benefits

Bachelor/Bachelorette Auction, an Augusta Pride 2012 fundraiser, is Friday, February 10, from 9 p.m.-2 a.m., at Club Argos. List of auctionees is TBA. Visit facebook. com/#!/events/164262413681748. Columbia County Charity Gala, featuring a Vegas-style theme, is Saturday, February 11, at 7 p.m. at Savannah Rapids Pavilion. Black tie optional. $80 per person; $150 per couple. Call 706-3127102 or visit columbiacountyga.gov. L’Amour at Cafe Lamar, featuring food, an open bar, a chance to win prizes and live music, is Saturday, February 11, from 7-10 p.m. at the Boyhood Home of President Woodrow Wilson, 415 Seventh Street. $35$45. Proceeds benefit children’s programs at the home. Call 706-724-0436 or visit wilsonboyhoodhome.org.

Sports-Outdoors

Augusta State Tennis vs. Queens (N.C.) is Thursday, February 9, at noon at the Newman Tennis Center. Call 706-7371626 or visit aug.edu. Greater Augusta Swim League Invitational Swim Meet is Friday, February 10-Sunday, February 12, at the Augusta Aquatics Center. Free and open to the public. Call 706-261-0424 or visit augustaga.gov. Jr. NBA Basketball League Registration, for boys and girls ages 9-18, is Friday, February 10-Sunday, February 12, at the Boys & Girls Clubs of the CSRA. $10 per person; $100 per team. Call Gary Winferry at 706-504-4071 or visit bgccsra.org. Augusta State Tennis vs. Morehouse is Friday, February 10, at noon at the Newman Tennis Center. Call 706-7371626 or visit aug.edu. Augusta Riverhawks vs. Fayetteville FireAntz is Friday, February 10, at 7:35 p.m. at the James Brown Arena. $10-$18. Call 877-4AUGTIX or visit georgialinatix.com. Augusta State Basketball vs. Francis Marion is Saturday, February 11, at 1:30 p.m. (Women’s) and 3:30 p.m. (Men’s) at Christenberry Fieldhouse. Call 706-7371610 or visit aug.edu. Augusta State Softball vs. Columbus State is Saturday, February 11, at 5:30 p.m. at Lake Olmstead Stadium. Call 706-7371626 or visit aug.edu. Augusta State Tennis vs. Georgia College METRO SPIRIT 02.09.12 19

Science Education Center, in Aiken. $1$4.50. Call 803-641-3654. Sweetheart Story Time, featuring a story, craft and snack, is Monday, February 13, at 5:30 p.m. at Euchee Creek Branch Library. Call 706-556-0594 or visit ecgrl.org.

The Augusta Arsenal Soccer Club Junior Academy, for boys and girls ages 5-8, meets each Thursday at 5:30 p.m. at the Augusta Soccer Park. Call 706-854-0149 or visit augustasoccer.com.

Kids’ Valentine’s Day Party, featuring games, crafts and treats, is Monday, Feburary 13, from 6-7:30 p.m. at Friedman Branch Library. Suggested for children in preschool-5th grade. Preregistration required. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org.

Dragon Scales Month continues through March 1 at Headquarters Branch Library. For every book a child reads, the library will add a scale and try to make the dragon stretch around the Children’s Department. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

Hobbies

is Sunday, February 12, at 1 p.m. at the Newman Tennis Center. Call 706-7371626 or visit aug.edu.

5-17, continues through February 17. $40-$70. Call 706-863-7523 or visit columbiacountyga.gov.

Valentine’s Day Craft is Tuesday, February 14, at 10 a.m. at Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

Sweetheart Bike Ride is Sunday, February 12, from 2-4 p.m. at Phinizy Swamp Nature Park. $6-$10. Pre-registration required. Call 706-828-2109 or email info@ naturalsciencesacademy.org.

Wheelchair Tennis Clinic, presented by the Walton Foundation for Independence, meets each Monday at 6 p.m. at The Club at Rae’s Creek. Free and open to the public. Call 706-826-5809 or email alsalley@wrh.org.

Augusta State Tennis vs. Clark Atlanta is Monday, February 13, at 2 p.m. at the Newman Tennis Center. Call 706-7371626 or visit aug.edu.

Kids

Love It or Hate It Valentine’s Day Party, for ages 12-18, is Tuesday, February 14, at 2:30 p.m. at Headquarters Branch Library Auditorium, and features jewelry-making, games and food. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

Augusta State Softball vs. Erskine is Tuesday, February 14, at 2 p.m. and 4 p.m. at Lake Olmstead Stadium. Call 706737-1626 or visit aug.edu. Augusta State Baseball vs. Paine College is Wednesday, February 15, at 2 p.m. at Lake Olmstead Stadium. Call 706-7371626 or visit aug.edu. Augusta State Basketball vs. USC-Aiken is Wednesday, February 15, at 5:30 p.m. (Women’s) and 7:30 p.m. (Men’s) at Christenberry Fieldhouse. Call 706-7371626 or visit aug.edu.

Library Lovers Valentine’s Day Program is Tuesday, February 14, from 4-5 p.m. at North Augusta Branch Library. Call 803642-7575 or visit abbe-lib.org.

A Charlie Brown Valentine Story Time and Craft is Thursday, February 9, at 5 p.m. at Harlem Branch Library. Call 706-5569795 or visit ecgrl.org.

YA Anti-Valentine’s Day Party is Tuesday, February 14, at 5 p.m. at Harlem Branch Library, and features a showing of “Little Shop of Horrors.” Call 706-556-9795 or visit ecgrl.org.

Follow the Drinking Gourd, featuring information on how slaves used astronomy and song to travel to Canada, is Saturday, February 11, at 7 p.m. and 8 p.m. at DuPont Planetarium, Ruth Patrick

Mother’s Morning Out is every Tuesday and Thursday from 9 a.m.-1 p.m. at the Wilson Family Y for children ages 3-4. The schedule follows the Richmond County school calendar. $90 per month for members; $110 per month for nonmembers. Register at any Family Y or visit thefamilyy.org.

Annual Camellia Auction, presented by the Aiken Camellia Society, is Thursday, February 9, at 7 p.m. at St. Johns Methodist Church in Aiken. Plants are donated by club members and are of blooming size. Call Stephanie Weldon at 803-502-1152. Genealogy Programs: Government Land Records Online is Thursday, February 16, at 2:30 p.m. at Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

Volunteers

CSRA Humane Society New Volunteer Orientation is Saturday, February 9, at 9 a.m. at the Pet Center. Call 706-261-PETS or visit csrahumanesociety.org. CSRA Humane Society Monthly Membership Meeting is Saturday, February 11, at 10 a.m. at the Pet Center on Wood Street. Call 706261-PETS or visit csrahumanesociety.org.

If you would like to see your organization’s events listed in our calendar, please email Amy Christian at amy@themetrospirit.com. The deadline for each Thursday’s issue is the previous Friday at noon.

Homeschool Playgroup meets each Thursday at 10:30 a.m. at Creighton Park

DECLASSIFIED

Columbia County Youth Baseball and Softball Registration, for children ages

Valentine’s Day Craft, for ages 6-11, is Thursday, February 9, from 4-6 p.m. at the Columbia County Library. Call 706863-1946 or visit ecgrl.org.

Fun with Folktales, featuring Valentine stories and cookie decorating, is Saturday, February 11, from 2:30-3:30 p.m. at Headquarters Branch Library. Preregistration required. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

in North Augusta. Call 803-613-0484.

(actual size) 1.5” x 1.9” Tall $40 per week 20 METRO SPIRIT 02.09.12

All declassified ads are Cash in Advance (credit card payment required) and are $40 per week. Visit metrospirit.com to place your ad in minutes. V. 23 | NO. 06

Michael Johnson

mejphoto.photoreflect.com

Emily Prince, Pamela June and Steve Whitlinger at Nacho Mama’s.

SIGHTINGS

Tiffany Gregg, Dennis and Amy VanLoozen and Alan Gregg at First Friday.

Jenny Armstrong, Jayme Marsh and Andrea Chancey at Joe’s Underground.

SIGHTINGS

Kristen Agnry, Jessie Colean and Brooke LeDoux at The County Club.

Steve Rogers, Andy Jones and Donnie Thompson at the American Red Cross of Augusta’s 18th Annual Boot Scoot Boogie Bash at the Savannah Rapids Pavilion.

SIGHTINGS

Tracy Fields, Lelee Coronel and Sandra Redfield at Club Rehab.

V. 23 | NO. 06

Jackie Woodward, Marlene Spears, Choppy Woodward and Julie Hammond at the American Red Cross of Augusta’s 18th Annual Boot Scoot Boogie Bash at the Savannah Rapids Pavilion.

Angel Moseley, Shannon Wallace and Maria Irwin at The County Club.

Michael Johnson

mejphoto.photoreflect.com

Sandy Lancaster, Dale Burgess and Stephanie Feerall at Wild Wing.

METRO SPIRIT 02.09.12 21

THEEIGHT BOX TOPS

X-Men, the guys in “Chronicle” ain’t. Doesn’t look like they have to be, though. RANK

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SAMEIFLING

“Chronicle” Darkness rarely feels as refreshing as it does in this surprising movie In “Chronicle,” the aquarium-eyed Dane DaHaan plays a high-school outcast named Andrew whose life sucks even by high-school standards. His mother’s dying of something slow and terrible, his father is a violent drunk, girls rightly think he’s weird and bullies like to yank on his head. His life reads as a prelude to a school shooting until his cheerfully philosophical cousin Matt (Alex Russell) and a chipper BMOC named Steve (Michael B. Jordan) coax him away from a party to a strange sinkhole in the Washington woods. The three boys follow some odd noises, spelunk into the crevasse and find a glowing crystalline mass that gives them nosebleeds. Next thing you know, the boys are able to control small objects with their minds — baseballs, Legos — and work their way up to veritable black belts in telekinesis, and Andrew’s life goes from bad to fun to something else entirely. With every chance to make a teen-hero flick, Josh Trank, directing his first feature and sharing the writing credits with Max Landis in his first feature, comes up with a moody, memorable film that takes chances without cutting corners — rarities both inside these genres. It’s not often that an action movie can coexist with a teen drama without one (or both) getting stiffed. “Chronicle” announces very early that its stakes are going to be high, and, to its credit, it follows through, applying the kind of effects usually reserved for superhero movies to a story without any defined heroes. The result respects teenagers by showing us just how twisted their lives really can be. Even in its cinematography “Chronicle” skirts pitfalls. From the opening scene, shot from a camera that stares into a mirror on Andrew’s bedroom door, “Chronicle” is ostensibly shot from either a handheld camera, or a news camera, or a security camera, or a cell phone camera — the sort of first-person perspective best used, like chili flakes, in pinches. Andrew’s strange enough for the trope to seem at least somewhat natural early. Once he takes to holding the camera telekinetically, “Chronicle” goes places none of its steadycam ancestors could reach. As with everything in high school, the boys’ astonishing powers could come neither at a better nor a worse time. The boys find kinship in the shared secret, and

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claim a bit of social advantage (read: impressing girls) when the chance arises. But at the same time Andrew is acquainting himself with his new gifts — his grasp of the new ability is both the strongest and the most graceful — he’s fighting through the anger that bullies, his father and his mother’s illness have packed into him over the years. We’ve seen these themes explored before in the likes of the “X-Men” franchise — the disaffection and tempestuousness that come with being young and stricken with an unexplained power. “Chronicle” takes them further by ditching comic-book clichés and instead treating the story with a degree of realism and care uncommon among movies made for teenagers. Nearly every scene is tinged (if not altogether soaked) with a stormy sensibility. For all the exploration the boys do, we never hear them utter the words “hero.” They have no interest in living out that story, and, bless ’em, neither do Trank and Landis. Darkness rarely feels this refreshing.

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OPENING FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 10

ACTION

“Safe House,” rated R, starring Denzel Washington, Ryan Reynolds, Vera Farmiga. Good news, everybody, Bad Denzel is back as a fugitive being protected by a young CIA agent. Ryan Reynolds, you are no match for Bad Denzel. “Journey 2: The Mysterious Island,” rated PG, starring Dwayne Johnson, Michael Caine, Luis Guzman, Josh Hutcherson. Peeta from the upcoming “Hunger Games” movie and Greendale Community College’s most famous alumnus together at last. Oh yeah, Michael Caine and The Rock appear as well. “Star Wars: Episode I-The Phantom Menace,” rated PG, starring Ewan McGregor, Liam Neeson, Natalie Portman. Who’s looking forward to the 3D re-release that features Jar-Jar Binks? Anyone? As for us, we’re disappointed that McGregor’s other movie out this week is only in limited release. Why? Let’s just say you get to see far more of him in “Perfect Sense.”

ROMANCE

“The Vow,” rated PG-13, starring Rachel McAdams, Channing Tatum. A woman forgets her husband after a car crash. We may be in the minority, but we’d try to forget we were married to Channing Tatum, too.

DRAMA

“Rampart,” rated R, starring Woody Harrelson, Sigourney Weaver. Woody plays a badass L.A. cop, a role many say should have garnered him an Academy Award nomination. Sorry, Woody.

V. 23 | NO. 06

METRO SPIRIT 02.09.12 23

24 METRO SPIRIT 02.09.12

V. 23 | NO. 06

Thursday, February 9 Live Music

Bell Auditorium - The Temptations French Market Grille West - Doc Easton James Brown Arena - Winter Jam Joe’s Underground - John Kolbeck Laura’s Backyard Tavern - Granny’s Gin O Lounge - Jazmine Soul Band Rose Hill Stables - Preston, Weston and Sandra Surrey Tavern - Sibling String Wild Wing - Matt Acosta The Willcox - Classic Jazz

What’s Tonight?

Casa Blanca - Thursday Tango Club Argos - Karaoke Cocktails Lounge - Karaoke Coyote’s - Karaoke Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke Fox’s Lair - Soup, Suds & Conversations Helga’s Pub & Grille - Trivia The Highlander - Butt Naked Trivia The Library - DJ Kris Fisher The Loft - Karaoke Malibu Jack’s - Sports Trivia with Mike Thomas Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Evans) - Karaoke The Playground - Open Mic with Brandy Shannon’s - Karaoke Villa Europa - Karaoke Wooden Barrel - ’80s Night Karaoke

Malibu Jack’s - Tony Williams Blues Express The Playground - Jesup Dolly, Cameras, Guns and Radios Polo Tavern - Kenny George Band Sky City - Lokal Loudness 2012 Awards Stillwater Tap Room - The Welfare Liners Surrey Tavern - Mama Says Wild Wing - Moby Dick

What’s Tonight?

Club Argos - Variety Show Cocktails Lounge - Grown-Up Fridays Cork and Bull Pub - Karaoke Eagle’s Nest - Free Salsa Lessons; Latin Dance Party First Round - DJ Kris Fisher

Acoustic Jam Session with Eryn Eubanks and the Family Fold Cotton Patch - The Moose Knuckles Country Club - John Karl Coyote’s - Tyler Rice Joe’s Underground - Jeff Johnston Malibu Jack’s - South Atlantic P.I. Bar and Grill - Smooth Jazz Polo Tavern - Jim Fisher Band Sky City - Funk You, Sumilan, Betsy Kingston & The Crowns Surrey Tavern - Tony Williams and the Blues Express Wild Wing - Chick Fix

What’s Tonight? Club Argos - Variety Show

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What’s Tonight?

Caribbean Soul - Love Jones Sundays Malibu Jack’s - Karaoke with Mike Swift Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke, Salsa Dancing

Monday, February 13 What’s Tonight?

Applebee’s (Evans) - Trivia Club Argos - Karaoke Malibu Jack’s - Trivia Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Trivia with Mike Thomas Sky City - Fishbone, the Supervillains Somewhere In Augusta - Poker Tourney Wild Wing - Trivia

Tuesday, February 14 Live Music Cocktails Lounge - Live Music Cotton Patch - Old Man Crazy The Highlander - Open Mic Night Malibu Jack’s - KE-JU Manuel’s - Bill Karp Jazz Wild Wing - Sabo & Mike The Willcox - Piano Jazz

What’s Tonight?

Club Argos - Karaoke Fishbowl Lounge - Dart League Laura’s Backyard Tavern - Karaoke Malibu Jack’s - Karaoke with Denny Somewhere In Augusta - Big Prize Trivia & Hawk Talk

Friday, February 10 Live Music

1102- Evan Barber & The Dead Gamblers Bell Auditoruium - Don Williams Carolina Ale House - Jim Perkins Cotton Patch - Chad Nichols Country Club - David Adam Byrnes Coyote’s - The Swingin’ Medallions The First Round - Ravenswood & Hardcoat French Market Grille West - Doc Easton Imperial Theatre - Rhonda Vincent & The Rage Joe’s Underground - Tommy OD & The Survivors

The Willcox - Jazz Jam Session Wild Wing - Brad Vroon

Wednesday, February 15 Live Music

209 on the River - Smooth Grooves Joe’s Underground - Sibling String Malibu Jack’s - Marilyn Adcock Manuel’s Bread Cafe - Crystal Guzman Sector 7G - Forty Winters, A Fight For Life, In Reference to a Sinking Ship, Convexis Wild Wing - Steven & Liz Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke Iron Horse Bar & Grill - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Clearwater) - Karaoke Ms. Carolyn’s - Karaoke Palmetto Tavern - DJ Tim Rebeck’s Hideaway - Open Mic Roadrunner Cafe - Karaoke Soul Bar - ’80s Night Tropicabana - Latin Friday Wheels - Live DJ Wooden Barrel - Karaoke Contest

Saturday, February 11 Live Music The Acoustic Coffeehouse - Open

Crazy Turk’s - DJ Kris Fisher Fox’s Lair - Karaoke Helga’s Pub & Grille - Trivia The Loft - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Clearwater) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke Ms. Carolyn’s - Karaoke One Hundred Laurens - DJ Kenny Ray Tropicabana - Salsa Saturday Wheels - Live DJ Wooden Barrel - Kamikaze Karaoke

Sunday, February 12 Live Music

5 O’Clock Bistro - Buzz and Candice Casa Blanca Cafe - Karen Gordon

What’s Tonight?

Club Argos - Santoni’s Satin Dolls Cocktails Lounge - Augusta’s Got Talent Cotton Patch - Trivia and Tunes Coyote’s - Drink N Drown w/ Snow Bunny Bikini Contest Hotel Aiken - Karaoke w/ Tom Mitchell Laura’s Backyard Tavern - Karaoke The Loft - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke with Rockin’ Rob The Playground - Krazy Karaoke Polo Tavern - Karaoke w/ Tom Mitchell Somewhere In Augusta - Julie Scoggins, Greg Hall Surrey Tavern - Trivia METRO SPIRIT 02.09.12 25

Maybe there is a soulmate for you in this world. If that person is out there, you will never bond with him or her by clinging to a set of specific expectations about how it should happen. Liberate yourself from the oppressive fantasy of romantic perfection. That way you can better recognize and celebrate the real thing.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

“We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love,” said Dr. Seuss. Share your idiosyncrasies and eccentricities, and ally yourself with people whose idiosyncrasies and eccentricities you’re compatible with.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

You will be a connoisseur of temptations. You will have a knack for attracting and playing with allurements and enticements. You’ll have a sixth sense about the distinction between good bait and bad bait. And when you get a lock on the invigorating, ennobling kind, you will know just how to work with it so that it drives you wild with smart longing.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

“Marriage must be a relation either of sympathy or conquest,” said author George Eliot. The same is true about intimate bonds that have not been legally consecrated. Each tends to either be a collaboration of equals who are striving for common goals or else a power struggle in which one party seeks to dominate the other. Begin working to ensure that the partnership model will predominate for the rest of your long life.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

“Love loves to love love,” wrote James Joyce in his 1922 novel “Ulysses.” “Nurse loves the new chemist. Constable 14A loves Mary Kelly. Jumbo, the elephant, loves Alice, the elephant. Old Mr Verschole with the ear trumpet loves old Mrs Verschoyle with the turnedin eye. The man in the brown macintosh loves a lady who is dead. His Majesty the King loves Her Majesty the Queen.” Celebrate your voracious ache for love. Honor your urge to merge with reverence and awe for its raw splendor.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

I’ve ghostwritten a personal ad for you to give to your Valentine or potential Valentine: “I’m looking for a free yet disciplined spirit I can roll down hills with on sunny days and solve thorny puzzles with when the skies are cloudy. Are you a curious chameleon always working to sharpen your communication skills? Might you be attracted to a sweet-talking wise-ass who’s evolving into a holy goofball? Emotional baggage is expected, of course, but please make sure yours is organized and well-packed. Let’s create the most unpredictably intriguing versions of beauty and truth that anyone ever imagined.”

You could really benefit from being less sober, solemn and serious about your intimate relationships. Here are some one-liners for you to use as you loosen up your approach to togetherness. Please consider delivering them to anyone you’d like to be closer to. 1. “Let’s go maniacally obsess about our lives in a soothing environment.” 2. “We’ll be best friends forever because you already know too much about me.” 3. “It would be great if you would schedule your social events around my mood swings.” 4. “I’m sorry I drunk-dialed you before realizing you were already in bed with me.”

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

“The world is an oyster, but you don’t crack it open on a mattress,” said a character in Arthur Miller play. He was referring to the idea that if you’re obsessed with sex and romance, your level of worldly accomplishment may be rather low. It jibes with what a friend in my youth told me when he noticed how much of my energy was engaged in pursuing desirable females: “They don’t build statues in parks for guys who chase women.” It’s a good time to fine-tune the balance between your life-long career goals and your quest for love.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

CANCER (June 21-July 22)

On average, an adult on planet Earth has sex 103 times a year. Cancerians everywhere may be motivated to exceed that rate by a large margin. Your tribe’s levels of sensual desire may reach astronomical heights. Do you know anyone you’re attracted to who might be willing help you out as you follow your bliss? One way or another, it’s prime time to celebrate your relationship with eros.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

Matt Stone can be heard weekdays from 2-6 p.m. on 95 Rock.

you offer them. I would also be ecstatic if you never had to tone down your big, beautiful self out of fear that others would be jealous or intimidated. Now and then, both of those pleasurable scenarios can prevail for extended lengths of time. You’re now in one of those grace periods.

Eliphas Levi was a 19th-century author and hermetic magician whose work has had a major influence on Western mystery schools. The great secret of magic, he said, is fourfold: “to KNOW what has to be done, to WILL what is required, to DARE what must be attempted and to KEEP SILENT with discernment.” Apply this approach to your love life. KNOW what magic you have to do. WILL yourself to do it. DARE to be ingenious and inspired. And don’t tell anyone what you’re doing until you achieve your goal.

ARIES (March 21-April 19)

INMUSIC

Are there any new bands in the CSRA? It’s hard to tell because a lot of the same bands keep getting booked. I have come to two conclusions: Those bands are so good that they deserve to play every weekend at the same places, for the same people, or there’s just not much to choose from. It could also be a lack of advertising by bars and bands. I’m not saying you have to spend money with the best radio station in Augusta, one that I happen to work for, but what I am saying is that you have to do more than create an event on Facebook. I guess when I think of “up and coming bands” or local entertainers, I think of the days when bands walked around and stapled banners to light poles. I think if you are having a problem with attendance and exposure, it’s your own fault. Step it up guys. I know the talents in Augusta, and I know people want to see it, but you’ve got to get more involved. Hell, I always say at the end of every one of these articles, “email me where your band is playing,” and I have only received maybe three emails from bands. Most emails are people telling me I talk about the Foo Fighters too much and that I’m pretty. Stepping off my soapbox. The big game was this past weekend and, let me tell you, that halftime show was a huge success. You can enter sarcasm wherever you would like. Madonna is old; I covered her. I wasn’t for world peace until I saw it in lights on a football field. M.I.A. is cool, and such a rebel. And that’s about it. I wonder if there will ever be a day when we all watch the halftime show and walk away excited from what we’ve seen. Come on K$sha, we need something good. In a related story, Madonna announced a world tour, and I’m giddy with excitement. Psycho Metallica fans can rejoice and dust off that 1984 Ride the Lightning shirt. The band just announced a two-day festival in Atlantic City on June 22 and 23. For music fans, this won’t be your normal Metallica/Slayer/Manson/Slipknot show; Metallica has switched it up and brought on bands like Modest Mouse, Arctic Monkeys and Cage the Elephant. You can get the full lineup and pay $125 for tickets at orionmusicandmore.com. Now don’t all run at the same time. If you haven’t heard that song enough times that it makes you want to punch yourself in the crotch, it was announced this week that Adele will be performing at the 54th Annual Grammy Awards on February 12. This will be here first since her leave of absence due to throat problems. Hey, do you hate your eardrums? Macy Gray is set to release “Covered” March 27, and, you guessed it, it’s all covers. Ha, she’s so good. Oh, but wait, it gets better. Macy will be covering rock bands like Radiohead, Metallica, Arcade Fire, My Chemical Romance and more. And last in Foo Fighters news, Foo frontman Dave Grohl has signed on to executive produce a new half-hour comedy for FX starring comedian Dana Gould. The show will be about a band that is about to hit it big and enter therapy to keep themselves from breaking up. Picture “Some Kind of Monster,” but funny and entertaining. Shows to put on your calendar: The Drive-By Truckers will be performing in Atlanta at my favorite venue of all time, The Tabernacle, on April 21. Tickets are on sale now. Here’s your chance: What shows should I see? What band is the best in Augusta? Let me know. Email matt@themetrospirit.com.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

FREEWILLASTROLOGY

New Bands Wanted… And We Know You’re Out There

I’d love for you to be able to always give the best gifts you have to give without worrying about whether they will be received in the spirit with which

Ancient Egyptians thought that drinking bear grease could stimulate ardor, while the Greeks believed that eating sparrow brains would do the trick. When potatoes first appeared in Spain in 1534, imported from the New World, they were used in love potions and worth more than $1,000 a pound. The Asian rhinoceros was hunted nearly to extinction because its horn was thought to have aphrodisiac properties. Call on a very different kind of romantic stimulant that costs nothing and doesn’t endanger any species: being a good listener. Rob Brezsny

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CUISINESCENE

AMYCHRISTIAN

Dining Local

Chef’s five-star experience elevates the fare at Kitchen 1454

A meal unlike any you’ve ever had in a diner setting is what Chef Edward Mendoza promises when you visit Kitchen 1454 on Walton Way in downtown’s medical district. The restaurant may look like a former Waffle King — because it was — but a step inside is all it takes to see that something a little different is going on. Signs throughout the dining room proclaim the use of local ingredients — coffee from Augusta’s own Buona Caffe and eggs from GingerSnap Hollow Farms in Harlem, for example. “Even some of our meats,” Mendoza says about local sourcing. “But I make sure all our meat is never frozen. It’s all fresh, if it’s not local.” The choice to go local results in fresher tasting products for his customers, but it also offers Mendoza something else. “With local, you have control over the quality. When it comes from a big warehouse and a big truck drops it off at your back door, you really don’t have any say over the quality,” he explained. “And, for example, I talked to Matt [at East Georgia Produce, another local source] about what he’s going to plant in the spring so I can plan what my menu is going to be.” Menu planning is important to Mendoza, an Augusta native who graduated from ASU and went to culinary school in Vail, Colorado. After working in restaurants in a few different cities, Mendoza settled in Dallas, Texas, where he worked for several five-star restaurants and taught at Le Cordon Bleu. It was while Mendoza was in Dallas that he and one of his recipes, Coca-Cola Braised Pulled Pork, were featured in Bon Appetit magazine. Mendoza and his wife, a doctor, returned to his hometown last summer when she took a job for Georgia Health

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Sciences University. And though he knew he wanted to keep cooking, his original plan was much different than what he and his partner, Scott Walker, ended up doing. “Originally when I moved here I was going to open a burger shop in the old Delta Burger,” he said. “But this place was available and, by the time we figured out what we were going to have to put into that place to bring it up to code, we could pay rent on this place for three years.” So they decided on their current location instead, possibly making Mendoza one of the oddest choices for a diner chef ever. But he’s taken his fine-dining background and used it to elevate his surroundings. “The atmosphere kind of dictated what we were going to do,” he said. “We try to put a little of the high-end in the diner. No, the plates aren’t plated like a five-star restaurant and, no, you’re not eating seven- or 14-course meals, but I took the things I learned in those settings and brought them to the diner.” Hence the inclusion of his signature dish, the Coca-Cola Braised Pork, as well as inventive sides like roasted beets to go along with the hot-lunch selections. Salads are fresh and unusual, and sandwiches and hot dogs add a sense of playfulness to the menu. Mendoza puts his creativity into action through the daily specials, which are listed on a chalkboard above the kitchen area. “I can walk in and say, I want to do

Ed Mendoza Asian spare ribs and I do Asian spare ribs,” he said. “I mean, if you look at my menu across the top it makes no sense: Asian spare ribs, lamb stew, seared pork chops with smoked tomato sauce. I try to cook what I want to eat.” And customers, he said, have been eager to branch out. “I have been impressed with the fact that people will eat off the blackboard,” he said. “Soy braised radish, bok choy… those aren’t commonly found in diners, but people eat off the blackboard almost as

much as they eat off the menu.” Mendoza said he even gets to be creative at breakfast, which Kitchen 1454 serves from 7-10:30 a.m. But that, he said, is largely out of necessity. “The only thing different about breakfast is I have the biscuit man across the street and the muffin man next door, so I do breakfast tacos,” he laughed. Business has been brisk since Kitchen 1454 opened in September and Mendoza says he looks forward to the spring, when he can break out the liquid nitrogen tank in the back for ice cream and milkshakes, putting into practice a little of the molecular gastronomy he taught at Le Cordon Bleu. He also has plans to begin curing meats and hanging sausages in the back, as well as opening a wine and tapas bar in Columbia County. In the meantime, customers can look forward to March, when Mendoza plans to start a series of cooking classes. “And since this is an open kitchen, we’ll do the classes right out here, then cook and have a big lunch,” he said. “I’m going to do a series of classes, and do it like we did at culinary school. We’ll start with knife skills, then stocks and sauces, cooking methods, meats and fish, then sides and vegetables.” All of these plans are in addition to his catering work, which includes everything from Masters Week, which he’ll spend cooking for the staff of the Golf Channel, to dinner party gigs he cooks for on the weekends. But Mendoza, who pretty much works from sunup to sundown, said he wouldn’t have it any other way. “I’m fortunate enough that I love what I do,” he said. “So the 10-, 12-, 14-hour days don’t seem like work. I’m very lucky.” Kitchen 1454 1454 Walton Way, Augusta Monday-Friday, 7 a.m.-3 p.m. 706-945-1828 facebook.com/pages/Kitchen-1454

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Dickie Ertz, bartender The Loft

INTHEMIX

Dickie Ertz, 31, has worked as a bartender at the Loft since it opened in 2008. The Evans High grad is a nice guy, but don’t be a jerk. Proper drink ordering etiquette is something he does not take lightly. Favorite drink? PBR.

Favorite mixed drink to make? Vegas Bomb (Crown, Peach Schnapps, Red Bull and a splash of Grenadine).

Favorite movie? “True Romance.” Tarantino wrote it but didn’t direct it. It’s got everybody in it. Gary Oldman, Brad Pitt, Christian Slater. There’s everything… comedy, a love story, action, death, you name it. Favorite TV show? Right now it’s “Hell on Wheels.” Favorite thing to eat? Food.

Least favorite person to serve? You want a name? Anyone who is impatient, holding money out, banging on the bar. Especially when we’re slammed, three deep at the bar. If you’re banging on the bar or yelling, you’re going to wait a little longer. Top three bands that play at the Loft? Groove Stain, Bastard Suns and Flip 57.

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Matt Lane is host of The Weekend Rundown which airs from 10 a.m.-noon Saturdays on News-Talk-Sports 1630 AM. He can be reached at mattlane28@gmail.com or follow him on Twitter @Mattlane28.

Twiddling Our Thumbs

With football’s exit for a few months, we’re left grasping at straws for something to do. Another football season in the books, and yet we are less than two months away from spring football practice taking place. For a sport that is exhaustive to play competitively for half the calendar year, and doggedly train for the remaining half, we as fans simply cannot get enough. Fanatically we stress about there not being enough time in the day, yet if our DayTimers kept a realistic account of where our attention was and not our bodies, it would be besieged with addendums to catch Aaron Rogers on ESPN at 12:20 p.m., read the latest article about Peyton Manning’s neck or skip out on the sales meeting so we can frantically add some guy named Bruce Gronkowski who started killing it the previous week to our fantasy league teams. Face it, we all fall under the pigskin trance, much to the chagrin of our employers, who just so happen to have season tickets as well. So what are we left with? NBA? That’s an option as the Atlanta Hawks are currently in position to land one of the lower seeds for the playoffs, but those aren’t doled out in February. Usually we have to wait until after the All-Star game to see the effort and desperation get turned up for the players, but with the shortened season teams are trying to stockpile wins as a protective measure. One potential problem for the Hawks is the loss of Al Horford for the rest of the regular season — and pretty much the year — from a shoulder injury in January. They are a team that seems to run with the underdog status one minute and look completely uninspiring the next. Once again, their competition for that last spot will be the Orlando Magic. Their formula against Dwight Howard has worked in the past (let Howard get his points; put the main defender on Jameer Nelson, if he’s healthy, and shutdown everyone else). College basketball?

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With the upmost sympathy to our local teams, this has been tough to watch. One bright light out of darkness has been a former Laney star, Clemson’s Rod Hall, who continues to have a solid freshman season in averaging almost 20 minutes a game, 4.5 points a game and a positive assist-turnover ratio. The Tigers have the most momentum out of the bunch, as they were .500 on the season at the start of this week at 11-11. But in the ACC, it takes more than average to even sniff the NCAA tourney. The state’s flagship school, USC, has fared far worse, starting the week at 9-13. Darrin Horn’s bunch has not produced, period. Pair that frustration in losing with the declining paid attendance for games (Horn’s first year average was 11,776; this year they sit at a sobering 9,056 average per game), and you find it might be time to flip the hourglass and get a fresh start. For teams in the Peach State, the news is not much better. In Georgia Tech’s case, the team has no identity at all, nor star power that they have been able to lean on in the past. Paul Hewitt might not have won enough games, but he certainly lost with players that looked somewhat ACC-worthy. For the Dawgs, they thankfully have a stud freshman in Kendavious Caldwell-Pope, who is in double-figures for the year, and also fiery guard Gerald Robinson, who is solid on the perimeter as long as he doesn’t try to be an alpha dawg. I sincerely apologize for that last pun; usually I’m better than that. All of our local teams have about a month left in the regular season to set things straight and make a late push for the promise land, but will they do it? We shall see. V. 23 | NO. 06

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WHINELINE Nice job on the longest wine Austin. Every bit of it rang true. Augusta Chronicle wants you to pay a fee to read their paper on line?????????????????? You can go on line and read just about any paper around the U.S. without paying!!!!!!!!!! Is this correct? The cowardice of the anonymous male or female who whined on and on in the 2/2/12 edition of your newspaper in a diatribe against Lori Davis is even more repugnant than the scurrilous nature of attack itself. When did it become the norm for drivers in the left hand lane to pull way out into an intersection- and then to run the red light? Not just one driver, but five or six. So... you can’t wait two minutes for the left turn arrow? You would rather inconvenience and endanger other drivers who have the green light? What has happened to courteous driving? Not in the CSRA!!! Why do 90% of girls feel like they have to turn their body to the side, stick one knee out, and put their hand on their hip for every single picture they take? At least the ridiculous “kissy faces” have died down a little. For the girls that still do that, it’s not cute at all. If you want to use the really nice new track and dog park in Evans, please use some decency and common courtesy and pick up after your dogs. I really can’t believe people are letting their dogs poop everywhere and leaving it. For crying out loud people, THEY PROVIDE THE BAGS TO PICK UP THE POOP! And there are 20 trash cans out there! Please do not use the track if you aren’t going to pick up after yourself. Same goes for your cigarette butts... The Spirit prints an interview with Lori Davis and does little, if any, actual investigation into whether what she said was true. Then prints an anonymous rebuttal that has

34 METRO SPIRIT 02.09.12

WHINELINE@THEMETROSPIRIT.COM

three or four items that can be proven to be incorrect...No wonder the Spirit is struggling... When’s the RCBOE going to explain to Richmond County parents how it didn’t have money in FY2011 to buy copying paper for its classroom teachers and to pay them for their full 190-working-day contracts but had the money to pay that sartorial dandy Pete Fletcher $608K. To the author of “the world’s longest whine” I would say; at least Lori has the guts to put her name in front of her opinions. Can you say the same? ...I thought not.. Da bu, are you kidding me? Not a restaurant or a night club. Really, what the heck r u? Eskimojitos where oh where have you gone? My musical eardrums are missing your sweet tunes and your f you cover. Brilliance. If you whine about this one, you have no one to blame but yourself. If you were in the graduating class of ARC/Westside 1972, your classmates are looking for you to attend the upcoming 40th class reunion. Check in at www.classof72.myevent.com. Now, teachers, principals and administrative staff, you are invited to be our guests, but you won’t be invited unless you check in at the website as well. I heard some of you have whined that your former students have not tried to stay in touch with you. You can’t say that anymore. Be there or Be Square. Where were you in 72? American Construction Workers Remain Unemployed! Why?! Try Speaking English with the Construction Workers Building Homes, Car Ports and so on in our area! Habla Espanol No Speak English! “Green Cards Anyone?!” Sorry Folks! No More Immigrants! The “Melting Pot” Is OVERFLOWING AND CRACKING!

Damn, there are some creative people in this world. That, or they just have too much time on their hands. When it comes to the creators of dandrapper.com, we don’t really care; we’re just glad it exists. A lot of people claim rap isn’t an original art form and Don Drapper, with its rip-off of “Man Men”’s logo and saying (what you call rap was invented by guys like me to sell nylons) might just confirm those naysayers’ suspicions. Don’t listen to them, though. Just chuckle at Kanye hawking Chick-fil-A or Drake selling Fancy Feast. Oh, if only these endorsements were real, Don Draper would be a happy man.

WERECOMMEND from an almost 9,000 square foot home on the river to a house in Harrisburg? And she has issues?

I think there is something very WRONG with Newt taking all that money from those casino owners. Are they trying to buy an election and what do they expect in return? Am I the only one offended by the local TV station exploiting black stereotypes

If teams A and B tie for first place in the trivia contest after the final question, as well as the question on which one bets one’s points, the why when Team A gets the question right that Team B gets NOTHING instead of second place? NOT FAIR! Especially since it was my birthday! And yes, I am whining! And yes, I sound like I’m five! But dang it! We should have gotten second place!

Have something you want to get off your chest? Send your whines to whineline@themetrospirit.com. If you do so by noon on Friday, you might just see it in the next Wednesday’s issue. Oh, and whines may be edited for content but will pretty much be printed exactly as you type them.

Let me get this straight. Lori Davis moves

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