V24|NO05
Shhhhhh!!!!!!!!
Actually, talk all you want… just beware of who might be listening I’ve noticed something. I’m sure I’m not the first to notice, but as I sat in a small but busy waiting room today, it was abundantly clear. When people are in quiet waiting rooms, a phenomenon occurs. They think we can’t hear them. It’s true. Pay attention the next time you’re early for your appointment. To protect the privacy of the innocent and guilty, I won’t tell you which waiting room or which doctor. I think this could have been anywhere, really. Don’t get me wrong. I’m nosy. I enjoyed hearing this lady’s saga about work and moving and family. Apparently she is having some furniture moved in and out of her new office. You may be inclined to ask me to please mind my own business, and I did try. I was in the middle of a rousing and heated round of level number 85 on Candy Crush Saga. I was focused. If you haven’t played Candy Crush Saga yet, don’t do it. Resist. You will thank me. First, she made a call to her new boss. He/she was freaking out because people were attempting to move furniture without her knowledge. As she so loudly pointed out, her office door was unlocked, and they did in fact have permission. They were only supposed to move this bookcase but not that filing cabinet. Unfortunately for her, she couldn’t get her boss on the phone. She called the secretary. This completely boring story is only interesting because it’s someone else’s. I move furniture in my house all the time. As a matter of fact, I think it’s almost as good as buying new furniture. Move it, and you’ve got a whole new room. Waiting Room Lady’s friends didn’t seem to feel the same way. The secretary was loud. She was yelling about some fern and a filing cabinet, and WRL couldn’t get a word in edgewise. “But don’t take that filing cab-“ “No, that fern can stay.” Her words fell on deaf ears. Not my deaf years, mind you. WRL prevailed, though. Raising her voice for all to hear, she was all “MRS. SECRETARY! THAT FERN IS MINE. THE FILING CABINET IS LOCKED AND STAYS THERE. IT STILL HAS MY FILES IN IT. PLEASE STOP THEM BEFORE THEY TAKE MY THINGS.” In a desperate attempt for excitement, I pictured the secretary jumping up from her avocado metal desk so fast that the dingy ivory conference phone dangles by its spiral cord. As she runs in to WRL’s office, she is quickly yanked backward because the cord isn’t quite long enough to reach. I amuse myself. I wonder what everyone else thought about WRL. I’m sure they noticed, right? She made so many phone calls in the span of my 30-minute wait; I hope she doesn’t have a prepaid iPhone. If she does, she may need a gift card. There was one person in the waiting room who probably didn’t care at all, but it’s only because she was louder. Seriously, she was. The difference is that she wanted people
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to hear her. I could be wrong, I suppose. Maybe she tried to be quiet. She wasn’t just on the phone, though. She was talking to the person with her about the phone call she was making. She was talking to Aunt Julieorwhatever and repeating everything Julieorwhatever said. Everything. All words. She also felt the need to repeat her own words, as if we missed them the first time. “Billy, come here! I’m talking to Aunt Julieorwhatever! Come here!” Billy comes here. “Aunt J says that if you’re a good boy, she will take you to Target all by yourself! Julie, I told him that you’d take him to Target if he is a good boy. He is so excited. Billy, I told Aunt J that you are excited.” Billy was standing right there, and unless I’m mistaken, Aunt J was the one on the phone. It was an unnecessarily long conversation. Kinda like this story, right? Now you know how I felt. These people are certainly entitled to their lives. I’d say they can have their privacy, too, but that doesn’t really make sense when they sit in a public place. Can you remember a time when cell phones didn’t exist, and everyone say quietly reading the paper or the newest Highlights? I can. It may have been quieter, but it wasn’t nearly as F-U-N.
JENNYWRIGHT lives in Summerville with her husband, who she calls The Man, and two kids, who she affectionately calls The Boy and The Girl. She enjoys taking photos, cooking and playing tennis.
AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989
METROSPIRIT 39