LH Feature Mag 2.13 by The Little Hawk

The Little Hawk Feature Magazine February 08, 2013

The Little Hawk Feature Magazine

February 08, 2013

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LIVING THE SINGLE LIFE

LET’S TALK ABOUT SEX

PLAYERS & CHEATERS

By Lily Howard

By Alex Perez & Emma Baxter

By Nat Alder

As Valentine’s Day quickly approaches, City High students reflect on their solo status and weigh the pros and cons of being single.

Students recall their “first times” through two different lenses and discuss whether it’s best to wait until you’re in a commited relationship or if it’s no big deal.

Students share their experiences being cheated on, how they dealt with it, and what they learned from the heart break.

HOPELESS BROMANTICS

By Lilly Reitz

Aaron Nessler ‘13 and Nate Moysten ‘13 discuss the dymanics of their Bromance.

EVOLUTION OF BIRTH CONTROL

With teenage pregnancy being an ever present thought in the back of every high schooler’s mind, The LH takes a look back on the history of practicing “safe sex.” The evolution of birth control has come a long way since the 15th century.

250

The Chastity Belt

The Condom

The Rubber Cervical Cap

The IUD

The Pill

The Patch

1400s

1500s

1800s

1930s

1957

2003

By Jason Arnold

WWW.THELITTLEHAWK.COM

LAURA & PHIL LALA

“

A Teacher {Couple} Profile:

We never have to separate our work from our marriage. When we go home, it’s nice to know that there is somebody who has an idea of what happens in the classroom.

photo by Eli Shepherd

By Renata Stewart On August 8th, 2008, Laura and Phil Lala, both teachers at City High, got married on the roof of Van Allen Hall among the telescopes, and in the spot where the couple had first met just a few years earlier. “We had two classes together,” Laura explained. “We’d hang out after class with a bunch of mutual friends.” While Laura was one year ahead of Phil in the teaching program, they found that they had a lot in common, and started hitting it off. “One day I asked him to go to a Jimmy Carter talk over at Kinnick Stadium,” Laura said. “So, we went to that together, and then it just kind of took over from there.” While both were pursuing degrees in Science education at the University of Iowa, they had very different motivations and came from very different backgrounds. Growing up in Marion, Phil was the first one in his immediate family to graduate from college, he was always sure that he wanted to continue his own education. “My sophomore year of high school, I said to myself that I was going to be a teacher,” he said. “And I just went with it from there.” This interest in educating came from a deep appreciation of his own teachers growing up. “I had some teachers who really took me under their wing,” he said. “At school, I was one

of those to-themselves, cast-out kids who didn’t interact a whole lot. Being helped by [my teachers] really made me want to make an impact on other kids’ lives like they had made an impact on mine.” Laura, however, grew up in a household where education and learning were paramount. Her father was a physician, and her mother went back to school to earn her Masters after raising Laura and her brother. “My whole life I’ve been around education, and I was always encouraged to try hard and do well in school,” she said. “I guess I just caught the learning bug. I’ve always been a pretty curious person, and I wanted to share that love of learning with other students.” Laura attended West High, and then went on to earn her Masters in Science Education and also has a certificate to teach Spanish (which is what she now teaches full time.) It has always been a goal of the Lala’s to teach at the same school, and after a few years at separate schools, they are now both full time at City High, and have been seeing the advantages of working together. “We never have to separate our work from our marriage,” Phil said. “When we go home, it’s so nice to know that there is somebody who has an idea of what happens in the classroom.” Laura agrees, and on a more practical note as well. “It’s also really nice to bounce lesson ideas off of each other,” she laughed. “But, I think it’s probably best that we’re in separate departments so that we’re not stepping on each others’

toes at all.” Outside of the classroom, the Lala’s are also foster parents, and currently have two young girls living with them who go to Lemme Elementary. Phil was eager to take in these children. “My dad worked in the foster care system when I was growing up,” he explained. “And I just always thought it would be so cool to have all of those new siblings.” And as the option became real with Laura, it all fit together, and felt right. “We knew that we wanted to be able to help children in need, and we were capable of doing so, so we just thought why not?” Phil said. “We also didn’t have kids of our own at that point,” added Laura. “So we could really focus a lot of our attention on our foster children.” During their time as foster parents, they have housed kids as young as four and all the way up to high school age. In fact, last year, Victor Pascual ’13, lived with them as he first became a student at City. The Lala’s have been parents to some of these children for over a year, and have formed real, strong bonds with them. “In some ways we do get very attached... You want to see them succeed and be happy,” Laura said. “But at the same time, we hope that they can move onto something better [a permanent home].” And coming up in July, the Lala’s will be a permanent home to their child, the first of their own. *Continued on Page 13 February 8, 2013 LH FEATURE MAGAZINE

the

SINGLE LIFE

art by KARA HARTLEY

Seniors at City High reflect on living a single life and encountering all of its trials, tribulations, and benefits. By Lily Howard

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February 8, 2013

ecilia De Boeck ‘13 and CalReally, it’s apparent that if they’re single, most high vary Tutson ‘13 settle into the school students are perfectly content. They aren’t gazing comfortable confines of the at happy couples in the hall, sad, droopy eyes reflecting newly half green, glamorous the pathetic desperation they feel inside. In fact, single podcasting room of the news- teens tend to share a mutual disdain for couples who lab. Both were chosen out of are just a little too public. the dozens of seniors that will “PDA in the hallway, that has to stop,” De Boeck be celebrating St. Valentine’s said. Day without a significant “PDA doesn’t bother me if the people are like cute other this year. people,” Tutson said. “But gross couples, that’s disgust “I think I’m just going to ing.” go see a movie with Tilly Kuenster,” De Boeck said of One thing that most average lonely teenagers agree her Valentine’s plans. helps ease their occasional plight, commiserating with “Yeah, I’ll probably just eat a bunch of candy,” Tut- friends. son said. “It’s nice to have a single friend because you guys Both shrug over their lack of romance and consider can relate, like ‘oh, so-and-so is always hanging out the benefits of their singleness. with their boyfriend so now we can hangout,’” De Boeck “The best part about being single is freedom,” De said. “I hang out with my friends more because I don’t Boeck said. “You’re never obhave a boyfriend. I think friend ligated to hang out with somedates are awesome; I’d rather go one.” on a date with my friends than Tutson echoed De Boeck. with a guy.” “I don’t have to worry “Friend dates” are an apparabout birthdays or Valentine’s ently popular practice among Day or anniversaries. Oh, and groups of single girls. They can I don’t have to pay for things,” include going out to nice dinTutson said. ners at restaurants downtown, Despite their positive atseeing a movie, or anything else titudes, both agree that there that one would usually do with are downsides to being single. a boyfriend or someone they’re “You kinda see people todating. gether, and then they go do “You can always complain something fun together and to other single people,” Tutson - Cecilia De Boeck ‘13 you’re like ‘oh that’d be fun if said. “About annoying couples I had someone to go with.’” and other stuff like that.” Tutson said. Single students express Tutson and De Boeck agree that there are rare times varying expectations for high school relationships. when being part of a couple seems ideal. “I’m single by choice. There’s nobody in this school “Yeah, and there are some real cute couple pictures I would date right now. And it’s my senior year and I’m on Pinterest. Like this one where he’s playing video going out of state so there really isn’t a point,” De Boeck games and she’s on his lap reading Hunger Games and said. “I think honestly I would get sick of someone after it just looks so cute,” De Boeck said. like half a year tops. I don’t understand how people can “That never works out. It sounds perfect but it never be together for like 50 years. That’s crazy.” happens,” Tutson declared. “If I could find a girl to do “I feel like as soon as I can find someone that I can that, I swear...” talk to everyday without getting repetitive and without Although they express occasional twinges of loneli- running out of things to say, then I’ll be okay,” Tutson ness, it seems that most seniors retain a positive out- said. look on their relationship status. Lauren Coffey ‘13 “The moral of the story is, whether you’re new to seemingly seals her single fate with the words: the single scene or a forever alone-er, being single is “You keep asking these questions and my mind just actually much more than it’s cracked up to be in stukeeps going back to food. I am in a relationship... with pid movies or not-so reality T.V.,” De Boeck said. “So food!” Coffey said. “Usually I see people in relation- if you’re caught up in gandering longingly at adorable ships and I’m like, ‘Ew what are you doing?’ And then I couple pictures on the internet, stop it! Go out for a remember they’re probably buying each other food, so food date or something and have a real good time being that’s cool, I guess.” alone on Valentine’s.”

“I’m single by choice. There’s nobody in this school I would date right now.”

February 8, 2013 LH FEATURE MAGAZINE

HOPELESS

BROMANTICS By Lilly Reitz

Since the mid-2000s, the word “bro” has been incorporated into nearly every teenager’s vocabulary. “Bro” isn’t limited to just guys; over time, it has become a unisex term. However, teenagers of today have taken friendship one step further and created the“bromance.” “I consider myself to be somewhat of a hopeless bromantic,” said Will Lubaroff ‘13. But to Nate Moysten ‘13 and Aaron Nessler ‘13, their bromance is more than what Merriam-Webster defines as “a close, nonsexual relationship between men.” Nessler and Moysten became friends in 7th grade when they sat next to each other in their first ever jazz band practice at Southeast Junior High. “We were friends since seventh grade, but we became best friends during the Disney trip our freshman year,” Moysten said. “We roomed together [...] Aaron slept on the floor.” Moysten and Nessler have gotten closer in these last three years, and their friendship has evolved into a bromance. “I don’t know when we started to consider it a bromance,” Nessler said. “It just kind of happened.” Moysten and Nessler and have spent lots of time doing some of their extracurricular activities together: 4th Ave, band, choir, and a duet of “Too Close” by Alex Clare for the 2012 4th Ave. Winter Show together. “We always go out to eat at ‘Bdubs,’” Moysten said. “Bdubs” is Moysten and Nessler’s nickname for Buffalo Wild Wings, which they consider to be their main hangout.

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If Moysten and Nessler aren’t spending time together at ‘Bdubs’, most of the time that they spend together is during school functions. But occasionally they do other things, like when Moysten won two tickets to a Hawkeye football game, he took Nessler. “When we were at the game, I got a call from the guy who was supposed to be subbing for me at my work,” Moysten said. “He couldn’t work for me, so we only stayed for about twenty minutes. Aaron couldn’t stay the rest of the game cause he was my ride home, though.” But Nessler considers himself a loyal friend: “I wouldn’t have stayed without him,” Nessler said. Moysten occasionally jokes around about not reciprocating the bro-love, “I would have stayed at the game if it were me!” Moysten and Nessler don’t run into many problems with their friendship most of the time, “We’re guys,” Nessler said. “We don’t really have friendship issues like girls do.” “I think girls get the short end of the stick for that kind of thing,” Moysten said. “Our bromance is so chill.” However, occasionally people are confused by these seniors’ bromance: thinking of them instead as a couple, not best friends. “You know a bromance is real when it seems like they’re a couple!” said a friend of the two bros, Nikki Schmelling, ‘13. It’s mostly strangers, however, that think Moysten and Nessler are a couple. “We were at Bdubs one time,” Moysten told us. “And after we had finished eating, the waitress comes up to us and goes, ‘Are these together...or separate?’ There was this huge pause between ‘together’ and ‘separate’. She thought we were a couple, it was really

funny!” Nessler and Moysten depend on each other, not unlike a lot of best friends do. They rely on each other for advice and help when they need it. Something Nessler relies on Moysten for on a regular basis is clothes. “Before we go to any function; school, hanging out with friends, whatever, Aaron always calls me and asks me what I’m wearing,” Moysten said. Nessler embraces his interest in Moysten’s clothing choices, “What can I say, he has great style!” But Moysten likes to mess with Nessler, as many guys do. “Once when Aaron called me, I was in the car on the way to a band thing, and he asked me what I was wearing, and I kept telling him, ‘No, I’m wearing nothing.’ I wouldn’t tell him. When I got there, Aaron had to have this mom bring him new clothes,” Moysten recalls. Nessler and Moysten were originally planning on attending the University of Iowa together and being roommates, but their college plan took a Superbad twist. Like Seth and Evan, they were originally planning on rooming together and tearing up the campus for the next four years, until Moysten decided to attend Drake University in Des Moines. “Nate pulled a Superbad,” friend Elizabeth Smith, ‘14 said. “Is he rooming with someone named McLovin?” If Nessler and Moysten were the dynamic Superbad duo, they know who they’d be. “I’d be Jonah Hill,” Moysten said, “I have the afro!”

t u o b a k l a t s ’ let

. X E S February 8, 2013 LH FEATURE MAGAZINE

By Alex Perez & Emma Baxter

ixed drinks, smoke in the air, music blaring, clothing strewn out. Although not all hookups happen in

this type of environment, many do. “When I go to parties, I just try to have a good time,” Trey* said. “I don’t really think about anything else. Hook ups are fun, they give you something to do and they can be really exciting.” A sudden burst of confidence may be caused by one to many shots. “Even if I’m intoxicated I still know what I’m doing,” Trey said. “In my mind I’m like ‘I wanna make out with this girl, so just go for it dude.’” This behavior wasn’t normal for Trey. “Hooking up with girls was out of character for me,” he said. “I was shocked by my behavior because I’d never done stuff like that before.” Sometimes this attitude leads to negative repercussions. “There was one time I woke up in the morning and was like ‘what the heck did I just do?” Trey said. “I got some people mad.” Trey considers hookups a spur of the moment thing, if it’s planned ahead of time, it’s something different. “Sometimes I think before a party who I would like to get with but most of the times it just happens,” Trey said. “I don’t care who or how far girls have gone with other guys, as long as they’re being themselves then its all good.” Even hookups have boundaries. “Being ready to have sex is different with each person,” Trey said. “It really just depends on how confident you are with yourself. Everyone's view on sex is different, guys and girls.” Trey considers himself open with his sexuality. “To me, sex is sex. Whether it is with a girl I’m in a relationship with or a random hookup,” he said. “I just try to have a good time and if feelings come out of it then that’s great but if they don’t then its fine, but you also have to be mature about it.” Maturity and respect are important to Trey. “Girls seem to take things more seriously when it comes to sex,” he said. “I try to be sensitive about it and understanding because I don’t want to pressure them.” When gossip gets around he just tries to keep his “head up.” “People have judged me,” Trey said. “Most people don’t forget stuff you’ve done and will bring it up. It’s not their business and I 8 LH FEATURE MAGAZINE

February 8, 2012

just try to avoid the drama and have no judgement.” Melanie* has experienced first hand the aftershock of her hookups. “My hookups have changed the way people view me and my reputation,” she said. “People can be so mean for no reason. But it has made me a stronger person even when it tears me apart emotionally. It hurts and people don’t seem to get that.” Although this bullying hurts Melanie she tries to stand up for herself. “I think high school is a time where people are really immature,” she said. “I try to stand up for myself by telling people that I’m not the only one that hookups with guys.” Melanie feels that there is a double standard when it comes to boys and girls hooking up. “Girls I feel like are seen as classier and more innocent,” she said. “Guys are viewed as wild and just have a carefree attitude that apparently makes it okay for them to hookup with girls and not get judged by it.” Melanie has noticed that girls are called “sluts” becasue of their actions. “A slut in my opinion is a girl who sleeps around with way too many guys, doesn’t care about herself and doesn’t try to keep her hookups a secret,” she said. “But I still think its incredibly rude and disrespectful for a guy to call a girl a slut.” There seems to be a fine line between being considered a slut and being considered a prude. “You don’t want to be considered a prude but you also don’t want to be a whore,” Melanie said. “It’s like I’ll make out with you but I won’t have sex with you. Most girls have standards.” These standards can be forgiving however. “I’’ve had sex with a guy sober when I just wasn’t thinking straight. I did it just because I wanted to be close to someone and I thought that would make me feel better.” Melanie said. “And I regret it but I can’t take it back. I just try to learn from my mistakes.” For Melanie, it is easy to get too involved. “I think I’m one of those girls who gets too emotionally attached,” she said. “Even if I know that it’s just a one time thing for fun I start to think that something can be made out of it.” Melanie thinks sex is all about maturity and understanding. “People give you crap about having sex because they aren’t mature enough to understand that it’s not their business,” she said. “People just want to know gossip and pretend like they know things about people’s sex lives.”

A recent American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) film has looked into the United States teenagers’problem with talking about sex. City High reports on student experiences with this subject. In the heat of the moment when two bodies become entwined, when two vulnerable pairs of eyes lock, when two hearts give themselves to each other. For high school students in long term relationships, sex is a binding moment that can’t be taken back. “The first time I had sex with my girlfriend was something that will always connect us,” Isaac* said. “It’s one of those special moments in life, and you only get a few of those.” Isaac and his girlfriend started dating last January and after a few months of dating he realized he loved her. “It just clicked. I never felt that way before I was with her,” he said. “After we were both confident in our feelings toward each other we knew that we were at a point in our relationship where we could do it.” Although both of them knew they were ready to have sex, they didn’t plan a specific date for it to happen. “We talked about it a lot,” Isaac said. “But when it happened it was spur of the moment. Her parents were gone so it gave us the opportunity and privacy to do it.” After sleeping together Isaac didn’t see a change in their relationship. “I think it would have been awkward if I didn’t know her as well as I did,” he said. “We become a little more involved and attached but were still the same around each other.” Even though he doesn’t show it, losing his virginity made an impact on him. “My first time definitely meant something to me,” Isaac said. “It was important. Everyone always remembers the person who takes your virginity, you don’t forget that.” For Kristina* and her boyfriend the topic of sex was a frequent topic of conversation. “We talked about it a lot when we first started dating,” she said. “When you’re just starting in a relationship you know sex is always a possibility but you don’t worry about it right away. But then you get to a point where you know you can trust the person and you care about them. Then you realize that they’re the right person.” To know that someone is “the right person” is different for everybody. But for Kristina she knew her feelings towards her boyfriend were different than in any other relationship. “Of all the boys that I’ve ever dated or had things with I would pick my current boyfriend over all of them,” she said. After a couple months of dating they expressed their feelings toward one another. “Loving someone and being with them for a long time is a completely different experience,” Kristina said. “No matter how old or

mature you think you are, being in love can be something new to you and it brings out emotions that you’ve never felt before.” Kristina knew that she was ready to take her relationship to the next level. “He makes me happy. It’s hard to describe but whenever I see him he just makes me smile,” she said. “It would make anyone happy knowing that someone loved them as much as he tells me he does.” Even though they expressed their feelings early on, they waited to have sex. “It’s not that we didn’t want to, it’s just that the timing was never right,” Kristina said. “We were never at the right place at the right time.” Because they waited, it made their feelings for each other grow stronger. “It gave us time to get to know each other even better,” Kristina said. “I’m sort of glad we didn’t do it right away because it probably would have changed the whole dynamic of our relationship.” Kristina didn’t want her relationship to be purely physical. “It seems like a lot of couples in high school have only one person putting in any effort,” Kris-Kristina* tina said. “I didn’t want to be the only one emotionally involved.” But she had no reason to worry. “After we had sex we talked about what it meant to us,” Kristina said. “I feel like girls always think that there is a chance that now that they got what they want they’ll go away. It was a slight fear but after we talked it made me feel better because I knew he wasn’t going anywhere.” While they talked, Kristina realized that she just participated in an extremely emotional thing. “I know people always say that the first time you have sex will change you,” she said. “I thought it wouldn’t be that dramatic and that big a deal, but it is. It really surprised me that it affected me the way it did.” Having sex changed their relationship for the better. “It definitely made our relationship feel more permanent,” Kristina said. “ Not that it didn’t feel that way before, it just solidified it. Now we’re bonded on a whole ‘nother level.” Students that are in loving long-term relationships have a changed outlook on sex. “Sex has now become a part of my life,” Kristina said. “It’s made me more confident in my relationship on an emotional and physical level.”

“I’m sort of glad we didn’t [have sex] right away because it probably would have changed the dynamic of our relationship”

*names have been changed due to privacy February 8, 2013 LH FEATURE MAGAZINE

Couples THE

OF CITY HIGH

THE Couples OF CITY HIGH CHRISTIAN&AVERI

When Christian Cabrera ‘13 walked into Averi Cole’s ‘13 elementary school classroom eight years ago neither of them thought they would be together today. Fifth grade feelings filled her heart as he was introduced to the class. Cabrera had moved to Iowa City from California. “The first time I saw him I thought he was so cute,” Cole said. “he was really shy but that’s why I liked him so much.” Cole was confident and wanted to make a new friend out of Cabrera. “I went after him. After a couple of days we started talking more,” she said. “I did most of the talking because he was so timid, but I was okay with doing that.” Some people might think that it is strange for an eleven year old girl to chase after a boy but in Cole’s case it seemed to work perfectly. “He eventually began to open up to me,” Cole said. “Of course we weren’t in love with each other in fifth grade, but I definitely remember

SKYLER&LILY

A coincidental run in on a camping trip gave Skyler Stephens ‘13 and Lily Mckillip ‘15 the chance to finally meet each other, and find love after both experiencing heartbreak. “I had just gotten out of a bad relationship,” Mckillip said. “I was at a point in my life where I was just trying to forget about the other guy. I’m lucky I met Skyler.” Before they even knew each other Stephens would see Mckillip walking to school every morning. He thought she looked like a mix between two of his friends, so he came up with the nickname ‘Tether’. It wasn’t until they met when he finally knew her real name. “I was on a camping trip when my friends started talking to me about Skyler and his nickname for me. I thought that was really cute,” Mckillip said. “Eventually my friends introduced us and we started talking more.”

MELVIN&KEYLA

Sitting in her pj’s, Keyla Garcia ‘13 Skypes her boyfriend, Melvin, every day around nine p.m. Being in a long distance relationship is never easy. But for these two being almost 2,000 miles apart from one another is just part of their relationship. Garcia and her boyfriend, Melvin Villalvir Borjas have been dating for 18 months. The only difference from a normal high school relationship is that he lives in Honduras. “It was hard getting used to being so far away from him,” Garcia said. “Sometimes people try to get in the way but we just learned to ignore what people say or do because we love each other and that’s all that matters.” Garcia said. Their long distance relationship began in 2011 when Garcia went on a trip to her cousin’s house in Honduras and met Melvin. Eventually

LH FEATURE MAGAZINE February 8, 2013

By Kellee Darner

having a strong connection with him.” After years of hanging out and becoming close friends they took their relationship to the next level. “I think because we’re best friends as well as boyfriend and girlfriend we just never get tired of each other,” Cole said. “We make each other better and never blame the other for things in our lives. Neither of us put the other down or try to change each other.” Technically they have been together for six years. When they tell people how long they have been with each other people tend to “freak out.” “It’s like they don’t believe me at first!” Cole said. “It’s really nice that people are supportive and don’t try to mess with what we have.” The foundation for their relationship is simple. They don’t ever give up on each other. “Even before we started hitting the two year and four year marks in our relationship we always motivated each other to be the best that we could be.” Cole said.

Cole and Cabrera are together almost 24 hours a day. “We don’t like to party, we would rather be with each other,” Cole said. When they hang out they like to get creative. “We play racquetball and tennis,” she said. “We also watch a lot of movies and just sit around and talk. It’s great to just be with him.” Known at City High for being the longest dating couple, they never get tired of each other. “Everyday I still feel lucky to have a girl like Averi,” Cabrera said. “I love her personality and her humor. She is the most caring person I know, and also the most beautiful.” Out of the six years that they have been together Cole still remembers when they told each other they loved each other. “My favorite memory was the first time he said ‘I love you’,” she said. “we were laying on a hill after about three months of dating and he told me in the cutest way. I will always remember that day forever.”

After a month of getting to know each other they decided to become a couple. “We’ve been dating for a year and seven months,” Mckillip said. “I was nervous going into the relationship because I didn’t want to get hurt again and he didn’t either. We were both cautious.” While they spent more time together the couple both realized that they had a deeper connection unlike any other relationship before. “I was able to talk about anything with him for hours,” Mckillip said. “I was just so comfortable with him. That’s when I knew I loved him.” This comfortableness stems from the fact that they can be “huge dorks” with one another. “Yeah, we can be romantic sometimes but most of the time we just goof around,” Mckillip said. “That’s why I think we get along so well.” Stephen’s most memorable moment was when

they went to a concert at the Blue Moose. “We both have the same taste in music,” he said. “So it makes going to music events really fun.” Mckillip’s favorite memory was their first kiss. “It made my stomach turn upside down,” she said. “It was so different. Nothing like anything I’ve ever felt before, there were strong emotions involved.” Beyond being dorky together Mckillip also worked to build their bond through a necklace. She found two keys that were paired with a locket. She turned them into ‘relationship necklaces’ for her and Skyler. “I thought it was a good idea!” Stephens said. “We both wear them everyday. I never take it off.”

Melvin asked her on a date. “He had a killer smile and I loved his personality instantly,” she said. Garcia never thought she would make it a year and a half with Melvin. The thousands of miles between them can be tough even with today’s technology. “Not being able to hang out with him and fixing our arguments is a lot harder because we can’t talk about things in person,” Garcia said. “The fact that he’s my best friend and we’re able to trust each other does make it a little easier. Having the internet to Skype and text each other every day really helps.” Garcia travels to Honduras every summer to spend time with Melvin and her family. This year she plans on working in Honduras to earn money for college. She will come back to Iowa

City as the new school year begins. “When I go to Honduras and we’re able to see each other for the first time in several months. It’s the best feeling in the world,” Garcia said. “We like to go to dinner, movies and the beach for dates. We’ve also gone to carnivals and gone dancing,” Garcia said. For Keyla and Melvin, every moment they share together is critical in making their relationship work. They’ve created many memories with friends and relatives throughout the time they’ve been together. “My favorite memory with him was the first time I’d seen him in six months. We set a time to meet each other at a park. I was really nervous and felt like I was going to faint. I heard him say my name and I ran to him, gave him a huge hug and tried to hold back the tears.”

continued from page 3

“I’ve never had the real baby experience, so the diapers thing and staying up all night is going to be a whole new deal,” Laura said. Though come summertime, they will be new parents, between foster care and their teaching careers, the amount of time they have spent with children will “really help to shape our parenting philosophy.” Phil admits that raising their own baby with be a whole new experience, however. “It’ll be so fun, but of course [having a baby] is scary,” he said. “Seeing what we see in the classroom and the world in general--and now being responsible for creating this life--is definitely intimidating.” The new baby will come into a family that knew it was always meant to be. And with the added benefit of almost five years of

proposed in February,” Laura explained. “We were still in school when we got married.” While they didn’t date for a very long time before Phil popped the question, he knew that Laura was the one. “I had never really had that many girlfriends in high school or in college,” admitted Phil. “Through some past experiences with my own family and things that they had been through, I was very cautious. But once I started dating Laura, I knew that she was “it” pretty quickly. I had never really let anybody into my life - Phil Lala in that way before.” Laura knows that Phil is someone who “loves and respects her for who she marriage, the Lalas can reflect on their time together while they wait to welcome a new is.” And she sums up their relationship in just a few words. addition to their family. “Phil lets me be me, and I let Phil be “We started dating in April, and then he Phil.”

“Of course having a baby is scary. Seeing what we see in the classroom and the world in general -- and now being responsible for creating this life -- is definitely intimidating.

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No Appointment Tanning • Open 7 Days a Week www.ashleylynnstanning.com February 8, 2013 LH FEATURE MAGAZINE 13

PLAYERS&

CHEATERS Many students at City High put their relationships at stake just for the sake of playing the game.

LH FEATURE MAGAZINE February 8, 2013

elationships are prevalent in any society. They signify a strong bond between two or more people, and are associated with love, kindness and friendship. In some instances, high school especially, there are certain people that choose to defraud the often sacred relationship they are in by seeing someone else behind their significant others back. This is known as cheating. Jennifer* was in the car with her friends when she flipped open her phone and read a message from her boyfriend letting her know that he had kissed another girl the night before. “I opened my phone, and saw what he said,” Jennifer said. “And I just started crying, because at that point, I didn’t know what to do. It was such a big shock.” The very moment that Jennifer realized she had been cheated on, her emotions were everywhere. “It was a combination of me being purely furious and being sad at the same time,” Jennifer said. “Because I just felt betrayed.” Throughout his relationship, Ellis* feared his girlfriend was unfaithful but it wasn’t until their relationship ended that her infidelity was confirmed. “A friend came up to me, who had heard about it from other friends,” Ellis said. “He had been told by a few people that she cheated on me, so we talked about it.” Despite Ellis’ suspicions, there was still a level of anger when he found out. “I wasn’t terribly surprised to hear it,” Ellis said. “But I was mad nonetheless.” Jennifer struggled to understand why she had been cheated on. “You go through so much together and the relationship feels like it’s so strong,” Jennifer said. “And when the cheating happens, it just doesn’t end up making sense to you.” Ellis searched for reasons as to why he was cheated on. “I felt like there had to be something wrong with me, because why else would they do it?” Ellis said. “Part of it was that she stopped feeling an attraction towards me and started feeling an attraction to another man, and that was the biggest thing, they had the chance,and they took it, probably because she wasn’t strong willed enough to say no.” Logan Duffy ‘13 gave his reasons as to why people cheat.

By Nat Alder “Depends on the person,” Duffy said. “Some people get bored, some people get afraid of the commitment, sometimes cheaters just have a cheating mentality.” Jennifer felt a certain amount of sympathy for her ex after he confessed to her. “I’m really glad he did tell me,” Jennifer said. “And in a way, because he told me, I wasn’t as mad as I probably would have been if I had found out from someone else.” Max Ibsen ‘13 disagrees with the thought of sympathizing with a cheater. “You know a cheater when you see one. It’s in their personality,” Ibsen said. “I can never sympathize with a cheater, because they did something terrible and irredeemable, no matter how the cheater feels.” After going through the pain of being cheated on, Jennifer reflected not only on herself, but on the validity of relationships involving others as well. “There’s really no need to have a relationship in high school honestly,” Jennifer said. “I know people think that they’ve found the right person for them - I know I did, but there’s so many other things you need to experience in life.” Ellis believed a source of his ex cheating stemmed from being weak willed. “She didn’t want to have to face me and tell me,” Ellis added. “Which is a sign of weakness on her part.” After his ex-girlfriend cheated on him, Ellis’ self confidence was dampened. “It made me feel like there was something wrong with me and that lasted for a while,” Ellis said. “I grew out of it, and decided that it was her fault and not mine, which helped me get through it.” Being cheated on changed the way Jennifer looked at high school relationships. “I think I was way too involved, and people kept telling me that he wasn’t treating me right, and I just zoned in on him,” Jennifer said. “Now that I look back on it, there were so many things going on in that relationship that should not be happening when you’re 16 or 17 years old.” “The way I was feeling was terrible, and things like this can lead to suicide,” Ellis said. “It happens. Breakups can be a huge negative influence on your social recovery, and cheating is a downer.” Duffy described some of the negative effects cheating can have on a person. “Being cheated on lowers your trust with people,” Duffy said. “It turns you into more of a skeptical person in terms of relationships.” Although Ibsen has never been

cheated on he believes that cheating can ruin a person’s attitude. “It brings down their self esteem,” Ibsen said. “You’ll be second guessing what everyone does, and you’ll be extremely self conscious.” Ellis said that after being cheated on, dealing with the stress of the situation was easy for him due to his friends. “I’m very lucky to have the friends that I do, they’ve all been very supportive,” Ellis said. Ellis maintains that friends are key when managing the after effects of being cheated on. “It’s huge to have a support system when coping with something like being cheated on.” Ellis said. Jennifer reevaluated her approach to new relationships. “I think now I’m a lot more careful with who I spend time with and the trust I put in people,” Jennifer said. “And I will never get involved with someone that quickly again.” Ellis asserts that one should be considerate of others before thinking about cheating on a person. “Don’t do it, it’s morally wrong,” Ellis said. “If you cared about the person even a tiny bit then you wouldn’t do it to them at all, you would break up with them face to face, and then do whatever you’re going to do after that, because it’s not wrong.” Jennifer believes that cheating is not the right solution to ending a bad relationship. “You shouldn’t be in a relationship if you’re going to cheat,” Jennifer said. “Cheating changes people’s outlook on relationships in a bad way.” Things have started looking up for Ellis and Jennifer. “I’m in a relationship now,” Ellis said. “While the girl I’m dating shares some similarities with my ex, she’s a lot stronger morally ,” Ellis added. “I don’t think she’s going to cheat on me.” Jennifer’s perspective on people and relationships have changed since she was cheated on, though she remains positive overall. “Being cheated on has made me a lot more cautious,” Jennifer said. “But it also made me realize that I don’t need somebody to be happy.”

February 8, 2013 LH FEATURE MAGAZINE

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