relationships
Advice Goddess Stammer Time
amy alkon
I can’t talk to really pretty girls. If I’m talking to a girl I’m not that interested in or a dude, I’m golden. But if I’m attracted to a girl, my thoughts get totally scrambled. After a party, I walked this sweet, gorgeous girl to her car. She said some funny or cute thing about me, and I meant to say something witty back. Instead, I just said, “Huh.” Somehow, it was all I had at that moment. It felt too awkward to keep standing there, so I just mumbled goodbye and walked to my car. Pathetic, huh? —Kicking Myself
It’s good to keep a woman guessing — but not as to whether you want her to go out with you or give you the Heimlich maneuver. A Dutch study confirmed what you and most of us already know — that talking to a hot woman can turn a man’s brain into a pudding cup. The researchers — a team led by Dr. Johan C. Karremans — did the study after one of them was chatting up a “very attractive girl” he’d just met, intent on impressing her, but when she asked him where he lived, he suddenly couldn’t remember his street address. University of Chicago researcher Dr. Sian Beilock, author of “Choke” — a book about overcoming performance anxiety in sports, business, and the arts — explains that we have different types of memory. The type crapping out on you every time your head says “Well, hello, beautiful!” is “working memory,” the cognitive horsepower that allows you to hold relevant information in mind (and protect that information from disappearing) while you’re trying to do something else. Stressing about what a woman might think of you and overthinking things you normally do without much thought, like tossing around witty banter, depletes working memory resources that would otherwise be available — maybe to the point where you find yourself glancing around the bar for help recalling the simplest facts about yourself: “My name? Uh…Bud. Bud Light.” You stop the pretty ladies from pulling the fire alarm in your head and evacuating your every thought the same way you, haw-haw, get to Carnegie Hall — practice. Beilock lays out numerous examples that suggest that the more you practice under pressure the less likely you’ll be to choke when the stress is on. For example, golfers who had their putting practice sessions videotaped and judged by coaches did much better in competition than those who practiced without scrutiny. You, likewise, would probably be helped by going out and practicing hitting on hot women with your friends watching in the wings or — better yet, to raise the stakes — with them watching and placing bets with you on how you’ll do. To avoid self-conscious overthink, shift your focus from fretting about what a woman thinks of you to having a good time saying things you find interesting and fun. With practice, words should stop deserting you and you should have fewer grammatical accidents, making you far less likely to compliment a beautiful woman on how smashing she looks with, “Drop dead, gorgeous.”
Speed Mating
This guy and I ended up having sex on the first date. I asked him whether he’d done this before and still had a relationship, and he said yes, but it didn’t last. He said that for our next date, we should do something not involving sex and said we should meet for coffee on Friday. He texted to say the sex was great, and I told him I hope he doesn’t feel different about me, and he said he doesn’t. But, now he’s texting me much less, and Friday came and went with no mention of getting together. —Huge Mistake? There are two surefire ways to see that a guy sticks around after sex on the first date: handcuffing him to the headboard or developing magical powers to control men and small appliances with your hair. Otherwise, you should assume that sex on the first date will be sex on the last date. This isn’t to say it necessarily will be. But no matter how good a man’s intentions, he can’t reprogram male psychology, which evolved to push him to seek sex without commitment with as many women as he can. (All the better to leave lots of offspring to pass on his genes.) What keeps a man coming back aren’t good intentions; it takes an emotional connection that overwhelms his urge to be on to the next. So, whenever it’s possible you’ll want a particular guy in your life for more than an afternoon, see that you take things slowly enough for an emotional bond to develop. In other words, if you wind up on your back on the first date, he’d better be standing over you asking, “Oh, my gosh…you OK?” n ©2013, Amy Alkon, all rights reserved. • Got a problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave, #280, Santa Monica, CA 90405 or email AdviceAmy@aol.com (www.advicegoddess.com)
60 INLANDER MARCH 28, 2013
events | calendar Intro to Final Cut Pro Learn how to edit video with Final Cut Pro during a two-hour class. April 2 from 5-7 pm. $20/class session. CommunityMinded Enterprises, 25 W. Main Ave. community-minded.org (209-2632) STUCK Screening of the documentary on the international adoption process. April 5 at 7 pm. $16; RSVP required. Village Center Cinemas, 12622 N. Division St. stuckdocumentary.com (212843-9355)
Food
Vegan Cooking Learn how to make vegan mac ‘n’ cheese, and how to veganize non-vegan cookies. March 28 from 3-5 pm. $10, pre-registration required. Sun People Dry Goods Co., 32 W. Second Ave. (368-9378) Easter Dinner Classics Sample a lineup of wines that would pair well with traditional Easter dinner dishes. March 29 at 7 pm. $20, reservations required. Rocket Market, 726 E. 37th Ave. (343-2253) Scotch Social Taste 13 aged scotches with heavy appetizers, a full bar and live jazz by the MasterClass Jazz Orchestra. March 29 from 6-10 pm. $55. The Lincoln Center, 1316 N. Lincoln St. Easter Brunch Brunch buffet featuring an omelette station, baron of beef, baked ham, smoked salmon and more. March 31 from 10 am-3 pm. $10.95-$21.95. Kids under 5 free. Reservations recommended. Remington’s at The Airport Ramada, 8909 W. Airport Dr. (838-5211) Artisan Breads Learn to make baguettes, foccacia and more. April 2 from 6-8 pm. $50. Inland NW Culinary Academy at SCC, 1810 N. Greene St. scc.edu (533-8141) Spring Cooking Learn new gourmet recipes for spring from Chef Bob Black including a rack of lamb and salmon dish. April 4 at 5:30 pm. $50. Jacklin Arts & Cultural Center, 405 N. Williams St. Post Falls. (208-457-8950) Eat Healthy on a Buget Learn how to prepare a shopping list, navigate the store and cook simple, nutritious meals and how to get the most for your dollar. April 4 from 6:15-8:45 pm. $17. Prince of Peace Lutheran Church, 8441 N. Indian Trail Rd. (279-6027)
Music
A Concert for Gabby Benefit concert to raise money for Gabby DeLuc, a
local girl who’s undergoing treatments for leukemia, featuring music by Tommy G & The Nug Jug Band, Raze the City and WayWard 2. Band March 29 at 8 pm. $12. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague Ave. ticketswest.com Guitar Concert Kick-off event as part of the Spring-Summer guitar concert series, featuring newly commissioned work, classical favorites and more with wine tasting and food preceding the concert. March 30 at 7 pm. $7-$12. Holy Names Music Center, 3910 W. Custer Dr. (326-9516) Coeur d’Alene Blues Festival Annual blues music festival and “blues cruises” featuring performances by national and local musicians and more. April 5-7. $15-$37. Times and locations vary throughout Coeur d’Alene and at the Coeur d’Alene Resort. cdabluesfestival.com (208-765-4000) Halftone A night of art, music and design, featuring live music by Matt Mitchell (Folkinception), BBBBandits, Bias, Octo and more, plus the sale of art and design pieces by students of EWU. April 5 from 5-9 pm. $8. Allages. The Porch, 1804 W. Broadway Ave. (326-2385) Benefit Concert Concert featuring performances by Whitworth students to benefit Second Harvest Food Bank. April 5 from 7-8:30 pm. Admission is a canned food donation. WhitworthyUniversity HUB, 300 W. Hawthorne Rd. (290-9094) REO Speedwagon Rock concert. April 7 at 7:30 pm. $60-$80. Northern Quest Resort & Casino, 100 N. Hayford Rd. northernquest.com (481-6700)
dance
Lord of The Dance Celtic music and dance show. April 6 at 8 pm. $25-$65. INB Performing Arts Center, 334 W. Spokane Falls Blvd. (279-7000) An Dochas and the Haran Irish Dancers Celtic music with traditional Irish dancers. April 7 at 3 pm. $18-$30; WSU students free. Beasley Coliseum, 225 N. Grand Ave., Pullman. festivaldance.org (208-883-3267)
Sports
The Flying Irish Run Weekly 3-mile run. Thursdays at 6 pm. Free. Red Lion River Inn, 700 N. Division. flyingirish. org Pacific Northwest Volleyball Qualifier Volleyball team tourna-
ment. March 22-24 and 29-31. Times vary. $13-$26/admission. Spokane Convention Center, 334 W. Spokane Falls Blvd. (Some events also at EWU and HUB Sports Center) pacificnwqualifier.org (993-3482) Spokane Table Tennis Club Pingpong club meets Saturdays from 1-4 pm. $2/visit. Northeast Youth Center, 3004 E. Queen Ave. (456-3581) Spokane Table Tennis Ping-pong club meets on Saturdays from 1-4 pm and Mondays and Wednesdays from 7-9:30 pm. $2/visit; open to the public. North Park Racquet Club, 8121 N. Division. (768-1780) NCAA Women’s Division I Regional basketball tournament. Mar. 30 and April 1 at 6:30 and 8:30 pm. Tickets and teams TBA. Spokane Arena, 720 W. Mallon Ave. spokanearena.com (279-7000) Cure to Cabin Fever Fifth monthly table tennis tournament hosted by the Spokane Table Tennis Club. March 30 from noon-5 pm; doors open at 11:30 am. $10. North Park Racquet Club, 8121 N. Division St. (768-1780) USA Boxing National Championships Preliminary rounds April 1-4 at HUB Sports Center, 19619 E. Cataldo, Liberty Lake. Semifinal and final rounds April 5-6 at Northern Quest, 100 N. Hayford Rd. $5-$40 or $100/ event pass. Northernquest.com (4816700) Backpack School Learn to be confident and comfortable in the backcountry during a seven-week course on gear, clothing, navigation, safety, first aid and more. Class starts April 5 at 6:30 pm. Pre-registration required. $35 plus membership dues. Spokane Mountaineers, (939-2644)
Spring Break Minecraft All-Nighter Kick off spring break with a night playing on Tincan’s modified Minecraft server all night with challenges and snacks provided. March 29 at 7 pm to March 30 at 7 am. $35; limited space. Tincan Media Lab, 1317 W. Second Ave. tincan. org (744-0972) Mobius Spring Break Camps Twoday, hands-on science classes during spring break, for grades 3-5 (2 classes) and grade 6 and up (1 class). April 1-5; class dates and times vary. $70-$80. For more information visit mobiusspokane.org. Mobius Science Center, 811 W. Main Ave. (443-5669)