Inlander 12/17/2015

8 PAGE 2 LANDER THE IN TO T EN M LE SUPP

DECEMBER 17-23, 2015 | COVERING SPOKANE, EASTERN WASHINGTON AND NORTH IDAHO

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history-making

More than 100 years ago, a mother and daughter walked from Spokane to New York City An Illustrated History

by Simeon Mills and Mike Bookey page 20

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INSIDE VOL. 23, NO. 9 | ON THE COVER: SIMEON MILLS ILLUSTRATION

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EDITOR’S NOTE

I

t was more by happenstance than by design, I promise. People apparently have a lot to say about a galaxy far, far away. Of course I’m talking about STAR WARS, that merchandising behemoth (branding everything from toys and games to soups, breakfast cereals, multivitamins and duct tape) that also happens to be the greatest movie franchise of all time. This week, we ruminate on how our local community could embrace the Force (page 8), examine strains of cannabis inspired by the franchise (page 49) and, yes, in Film, we have an essay on why the Star Wars movies still matter (page 36).

Also this week: Culture Editor Mike Bookey teams up with local illustrator Simeon Mills to retell an incredible story nearly lost to history (page 20). At the center of the tale are a local mother and daughter who, in 1896, walked from Spokane to the Big Apple in search of a mysterious prize.

— JACOB H. FRIES, editor

CONDON’S RIGHT HAND PAGE 13

STITCHED TOGETHER PAGE 29

FLYING HIGH PAGE 32

NEW REALITY PAGE 54

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While I’m excited for the new Star Wars to come out, I’m even more excited for the Star Wars marketing campaign to be over. Just like the whole cross-promotional ‘Hey, look at all these toys, look at all this other stuff that’s Star Wars… buy Star Wars.’

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COMMENT | POLITICS

The Bad Wizard

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We’re now seeing the real mayor behind the curtain

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oto runs behind the curtain exposing the Great Wizard of Oz, who turns out to be a little old man, a phony. Dorothy gasps, blurting out, “Oh, you’re a very bad man.” The wizard responds, “Oh, no, my dear, I’m a very good man. I’m just a very bad wizard.”

The record is now clear on one thing: Our mayor is a very bad wizard; his key personnel decisions are problematic, even disastrous. As for whether he is a “bad man,” the public is now weighing the evidence.

David Condon is sticking to his story that he fired Police Chief Frank Straub because of complaints from senior officers about the chief’s management style. He reiterates that Monique Cotton — the former police spokeswoman who accused Straub of sexual harassment — had nothing to do with him firing the chief. Or the decision to transfer Cotton to the parks department, along with a $9,000 raise.

To many observers (especially those whose public records requests were seemingly delayed), his actions look and smell like hush money paid out to keep a lid on things until after the election.

Condon insists that he was just trying to be a very good man under confusing circumstances.

Consider the sequence of events: Condon fired Straub while continuing to praise him for putting into place policies designed to avoid police abuses. But then what happens?

The mayor’s interim chief, Rick Dobrow, hires as a deputy an officer, Craig Meidl, who saluted Karl Thompson in federal court after the disgraced officer was convicted of using excessive force in the 2006 beating death of Otto Zehm, a developmentally disabled LETTERS man who had Send comments to not committed editor@inlander.com. a crime.

Does the mayor not understand that this outrageous salute reflects the culture that Straub was hired to change? Is the mayor that tone-deaf? That out of touch?

It gets worse: City attorneys just stumbled onto an obscure ordinance requiring that any person whose city income exceeds $48,400 annually must reapply and compete for his job at the end of the contract period. They interpreted this to mean that Indian Canyon Golf Course’s legendary head professional, Gary Lindeblad, had to reapply for his job.

The problem: They managed somehow to overlook the fact that Lindeblad doesn’t receive income from the city. His earnings come from lessons, cart rentals and the restaurant. The Parks Department went ahead with what unavoidably will devolve into a very divisive hiring process.

The long and short of this single administrative screw-up? Lindeblad could have legitimate grievances against the city.

He wouldn’t be the first. Straub has filed a $4

“Mayor Condon’s actions look and smell like hush money paid out to keep a lid on things until after the election.”

M

oving right along, let’s take a look at the Riverfront Park renovation, another emerging mess. For one, the budget for public art in the park has been cut drastically.

Members of the local arts community are up in arms. Council President Ben Stuckart is seething.

But Condon’s leadership team of City Administrator Theresa Sanders and Parks Director Leroy Eadie doesn’t seem to have a clue.

million claim against the city saying his due process rights were violated, and on Monday, Nancy Goodspeed, a parks spokeswoman displaced by Cotton, filed a demand for $1 million alleging age discrimination.

B

y the way, if Lindeblad is forced out of Indian Canyon, not only will most of the Spokane golf community denounce both the parks department and the mayor, I have reason to think that the city will also lose the Rosauers Open Invitational, one of the major tournaments in the PGA’s Pacific Northwest Section and a big supporter of the Vanessa Behan Crisis Nursery.

Just another bad hair day for our bad wizard.

Who will be the next to be thrown under the mayor’s bus? That’s the question making the rounds among people I talk to. Assuming that Condon passes his “good man” test, the betting line points to Sanders and Eadie. Both are now being referred to as “road kill in waiting.” n EDITOR’S NOTE: Publisher Ted S. McGregor Jr. sits on the Spokane Park Board and by Inlander policy he doesn’t edit columns or news stories involving any park business.

COMMENT | PUBLISHER’S NOTE

A New Room is the Perfect Gift

Holiday Recharge

BY TED S. McGREGOR JR.

T

he news can be sooooo depressing. Apparently, half of us just don’t believe in science anymore. (What climate change?) But we do think that training children how to charge a mass shooter is a good idea — FOX News even did a segment on it. Donald Trump leads the news cycle with ever-more-outrageous soundbites, leading me to yell at NPR in my car, “You don’t have to report every idiotic thing he says!”

Hey, wait a minute… I remembered you can change the channel. Wow, some stations play music. Oh, that’s nice. I even dug out my old box of cassettes and popped one in, the sounds of a halfwarped tape taking me back. “Any Major Dude” by Steely Dan — now that’s music.

We’ve gone to MythBusters Live, taken in a Zuill Bailey concert at Barrister Winery and had a nice family birthday party with that McGregor tradition: pinochle.

I’m in the news business, and I love it, but every once in a while you have to call time-out. I’m so in awe of the social justice advocates and leaders of charitable organizations who have to stay at it 24/7 since the need is so great. But everyone needs to recharge — to remember what makes life so beautiful. Classical music. A nice red blend. The new Star Wars movie.

For many, however, it seems to be tuning out instead of taking a timeout. Apparently a lot of us have accepted that science can be trusted for one thing — to deliver TV through tiny wires or over the air. It’s the golden age of television, we are told — another way of saying we may be living more in a virtual world than in the real one. You want evidence? Statistics show that we barely even vote, leaving our leadership jobs to, um… What time does Black-ish come on?

Arts and culture sustain us — holidays and time off can, too. We need to savor those moments, whether dusting off an old cassette or sitting quietly while the Christmas choir sings, letting the music wash over you, drowning out the noise of our complicated lives.

Recharge your batteries, people: Our to-do list for 2016 is daunting.

We need to put the planet on a drastic fossil-fuels diet. We need to fight discrimination, which has reared its ugly head in 2015. There’s ISIS, picking a decent president and sharing our prosperity. Yes, it’s the same timeless goal: Peace on Earth, goodwill to people everywhere.

But let’s face it: Black-ish is pretty funny. Over the break, you might need to binge-watch it. 

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COMMENT | COMMUNITY

CALEB WALSH ILLUSTRATION

Channeling the Force Why America needs Star Wars now more than ever

BY JOHN T. REUTER

S

tar Wars is the greatest movie franchise in the history of the world, an epic galactic story about the clash of dark versus light, told through the lives of a single family of Jedi.

Perhaps one of the most repeated and simultaneously forgotten elements of Star

Wars is that it’s meant to be a story from the past, not the future. It’s about something that happened “a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.”

The point, I believe, is that the archetypes expressed in this sci-fi masterpiece are universal ancient truths, not merely set pieces in a soap opera in space.

This isn’t a new or novel conclusion. In fact, I’m not sure it’s possible to say anything new about Star Wars, as I

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believe that roughly half of the entire Internet is devoted to the series. But the value in repeating old stories that have already been told in slightly new ways is essential to the power of Star Wars.

Star Wars creator George Lucas was a student of Joseph Campbell, the famous professor of mythology. My favorite book of Campbell’s is The Hero with a Thousand Faces. In it, Campbell explains how stories from throughout human history and across the world all share a common structure — which is essentially that a hero leaves home, discovers a new, strange and often frightening world, wins a victory, then comes home with newly gained power from this quest and uses it to aid humankind.

It’s well documented that Lucas used this structure in creating Star Wars (for supporting information, see the Internet). Campbell believed that this structure wasn’t just a great way to tell stories (although, as Star Wars shows, it is), but also an essential tool in understanding and deriving meaning from our own lives.

Right now, more than ever — like Luke Skywalker or the Rebel Alliance — we as individuals, and collectively as a nation, need to begin a Hero’s Journey. We have left the relative safety of the past and are entering a strange world of ever-expanding technology, terrorism and potential environmental catastrophe in the form of a changing climate.

As a people, we have gained powers far greater than anyone could have imagined only a few decades ago.

Today, we have a choice about whether we will embrace the light or dark side of the Force. Will we rebuild the Empire or our own Rebel Alliance?

Phrased that way, it’s an easy question to answer, but the decisions we face aren’t always as clear. After all, Star Wars shows the powerful seduction of the dark side. It also reminds us that no one is beyond redemption. After all, Darth Vader ended up being convinced to save the universe.

At the core of succeeding in our quest is that we must find meaning beyond power. In Star Wars, this meaning is found in family and community, whether that’s an alliance with furry Ewoks or a newly discovered twin sister. To emerge victorious, we must find and build new bonds with each other.

If we can find a path to come together and win these battles, then I believe we will find ourselves changed, and returning home with gifts for the future of humanity.

May the Force be with us. n John T. Reuter, a former Sandpoint City Councilman, studied at the College of Idaho and currently resides in Seattle. He has been active in protecting the environment, expanding LGBT rights and Idaho’s Republican Party politics.

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COMMENT | FROM READERS

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READY FOR MOTHER NATURE obert Herold’s commentary in the Dec. 3 issue of the Inlander (“Worst

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Case Planning”) is off-base and misleading. Herold asserts that Avista, among others, has done little or no proactive planning to mitigate the impacts of natural disasters on our community. Had he done a bit of research, or even contacted Avista to ask questions about this, he would have been told about the countless hours of emergency operations planning, scenario training and preparation that are undertaken each year by Avista and its employees to prepare for the myriad of things that could and occasionally do interrupt service to our customers. After all, if our residents only had to get through a 100-year ice storm, an historic windstorm and “several serious snowstorms” in the past 20 years, aren’t we indeed fortunate to live in such a temperate part of the country. But, Avista is ready, regardless of what Mother Nature throws at the Inland Northwest.

“Why did the power stay on downtown?,” Herold asked. The answer could be that perhaps there are no trees to fall into power substations that serve that area. One could also ask, “Why did the power go out in areas where lines are undergrounded?” The answer could be, perhaps because trees blown by hurricane-force winds toppled into transmission lines and substations that serve wide swaths of customers.

Because Avista is prepared, our crews were ready to meet the challenge of restoring power as quickly and safely as possible. We put into action our emergency operating plans and, as the winds turned vicious, set in motion our Incident Command structure that LETTERS operated around the clock for 11 days.

Send comments to We called in additional crews to help editor@inlander.com. when the scope of the destruction became evident at daylight. In all, more than 700 highly skilled, dedicated linemen and women worked around the clock, through snowfall, nightfall, frigid temperatures and hundreds of downed trees and other debris — all of this without one single accident.

It would be cost-prohibitive and imprudent for Avista to have 700 trained linemen and women on staff, waiting for the next 100-year storm.

But, we are prepared, nonetheless. We have plans in place and regularly evaluate and practice them. We work closely with our city, county and regional municipalities and emergency organizations to assure that we can bring resources together for the good of all who are impacted. We have in place mutual aid agreements with our sister utilities in the West and beyond to ask for assistance when the event requires more hands on deck. And, we continue to communicate with our customers through traditional media, but more importantly through the our web-based Outage Information Center (avistautilities.com) and through social media channels where they look for information.

Avista has not been “AWOL” on analysis, planning and research. To say that without any inquiry of us or first-hand experience with our disaster preparedness is, to say the least, off-base and misleading to your readers and unfair to the 1,600 Avista employees who work tirelessly to make sure your lights come on, your house is warm and your shower is hot.

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POLITICS

Condon’s Right Hand City Administrator Theresa Sanders tells it like it is — except when she tells it like it isn’t

BY DANIEL WALTERS

A

t the end of August, weeks before Spokane Police Chief Frank Straub’s controversial ousting, City Administrator Theresa Sanders called City Council President Ben Stuckart into her seventh-floor City Hall office.

She’d heard that Stuckart was the source of rumors about Straub and former police spokeswoman Monique Cotton. Stuckart denied it. But he also wanted to know, which rumors was she talking about?

He walked up to Sanders’ whiteboard, uncapped a dry-erase marker and started diagramming the two categories of rumors he’d been asked about.

One was that Straub and Cotton had an affair — a rumor that’s been fervently denied by all parties to this day. “Here’s the other rumor I heard: There was sexual harassment going on with Cotton and Straub,” Stuckart recalls saying. “I asked her if these rumors were true. She told me: ‘No… Absolutely not.’”

Sanders says she doesn’t recall Stuckart asking that. She also says she doesn’t recall Stuckart’s claim that, before the Sept. 22 press conference announcing Straub’s departure, he’d asked her if any public records requests could come back to bite them, and she’d said none would.

In fact, it was the city’s release of public records — three weeks after Condon’s re-election — that showed how closely Sanders knew the truth.

“Met w/ Monique, informed her the mayor had put the matter in my hands to investigate.

She was distraught — reiterated claims that Frank Straub grabbed her ass, tried to kiss her,” Sanders hand-wrote in her notes on April 14. “Told her I would look into the matter and she would have a job.”

Straub continues to deny the sexual harassment allegations, and his attorney declined to comment regarding Sanders. In a saga defined by the tension between truth, untruths and halftruths — between promises made behind closed doors and public pronouncements made at pressconference podiums — Sanders has been central to all of it. At this point, she’s the only member of Condon’s leadership team to have the city of Spokane ethics commission rule against her.

Yet she’s impossible to separate from the long line of the city’s recent successes. The Condon administration, in its strengths and weaknesses, is embodied by Theresa Sanders.

“CHANGE THE CULTURE”

Both critics and supporters praise Sanders for directness: When Sanders resigned in 2009 as the director of economic development during Mayor Mary Verner’s administration, she didn’t pretend it was to spend more time with her family.

“My hopes of helping change the culture have not been realized and I find it increasingly difficult to make meaningful, rewarding contributions to the organization,” Sanders wrote in her letter of resignation.

“I felt like I was Sisyphus,” Sanders says today, referring to the Greek myth of the man punished to infinitely roll a massive boulder up the hill, only to see it roll back down.

Sanders, a Spokane native who once attended North Central High School with city councilman Mike Fagan, has worked for three mayors, two economic development agencies and Microsoft.

“Literally, one day I turned around to count my accomplishments and wasn’t pleased with what I’d gotten done,” Sanders says about her time in the Verner administration. “I’m an impatient person who has high expectations.”

(Asked to weigh in on Sanders, Verner declined to comment, saying, “I think it best that I not become embroiled in the controversies surrounding Theresa Sanders.”)

Sanders wasn’t gone from City Hall for long.

In 2011, she says, she got to know Condon as a member of the Inland Northwest Coalition, a business-focused political action committee she chaired. Condon, elected mayor that November, made her the leader of his transition team, and by the end of the year had named her his city administrator.

“She is one that challenges the infamous question of ‘Is this the way we’ve always done it?’”

Condon says. The admiration is mutual. Sanders and her husband have donated a total of $7,000 to Condon’s two campaigns.

To Gavin Cooley, the city’s chief financial officer since 2003, Condon and Sanders made for a duo that drives hard forward, and gets quick results.

“We’ve been moving forward at such a rapid pace, I’ve never been in a better spot to talk about accomplishments today,” raves Cooley. Problems that once seemed intractable — pothole-pocked ...continued on next page

Mayor Condon turned to Theresa Sanders to investigate issues surrounding the city’s police chief. YOUNG KWAK PHOTO

DECEMBER 17, 2015 INLANDER 13

NEWS | POLITICS

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streets, skyrocketing utility costs, a polluted river and a perpetual budget gap — started getting solved, he says.

Sanders calls “creating a healthy, sustainable budget, that citizens and employees can count on,” her biggest success.

“She’s not afraid to get her hands dirty,” Cooley says. “She’ll jump right in. She’s not shy.”

Sanders is a problem solver. It’s not a surprise, then, that when a problem arose with the police chief and the police spokesman, Condon tasked her to solve it. That’s when things got messy.

“SHALL BE… INVESTIGATED”

There’s a kind of symmetry between Sanders and Straub. Both had strong personalities, Sanders points out, and both wanted to make big changes. So when Sanders heard grumbling about Straub’s style, she initially interpreted the frustration as simply a side effect of a hardcharging style.

“He’s a difficult guy and he’s driving change in the organization, and change is difficult,” Sanders says. “Not everybody wants to adapt.”

But then came reports of Straub’s profanityand vulgarity-laced tirade on March 31. According to the city’s Dec. 11 response to questions posed by the city council, Sanders met with Cotton and multiple other police department employees to discuss Straub’s behavior. The mayor and Sanders met directly with Straub to discuss their concerns.

Yet, despite Cotton’s willingness to participate in an official investigation regarding Straub’s management style, human resources was never involved. “To the best of our understanding, no ‘complaint’ was ever filed… against Mr. Straub,” the city says in its response letter to the council.

In fact, in August 2014, at least two official complaints — not included in the recent records released to the media — were filed with the police ombudsman, accusing Straub of dishonesty. One said he’d been inflating the number of domestic violence calls, while the other said he’d falsely claimed that the department was working with the Center for Justice while developing body camera policies. Both referenced the ombudsman ordinance, saying that “complaints regarding the chief of police shall be directed to the mayor and investigated by the city’s human resources department.”

But Heather Lowe, the city’s director of Human Resources, says she only heard about the complaints once they appeared in the media.

“They were never turned over to me,” Lowe says. “I don’t even have a record of them.” Instead, Sanders informed both complainants that she was responsible for handling the complaints.

They weren’t happy.

“She blew it off,” says complainant Tim Connor, formerly with the Center for Justice. “I gave her three witnesses. She talked to none of them.”

The Inlander has asked Sanders why the ordinance doesn’t appear to have been followed, and she said, to the best of her recollection, that Lowe had recused herself from investigating police department complaints because her husband was a Spokane police officer at the time.

“I have never heard an explanation on why they don’t appear to have followed the ordinance

... that requires an investigation by Human Resources,” Breean Beggs, attorney for the Office of the Police Ombudsman Commission, says in an email.

Cotton herself has also cast doubt on the administration’s claim that she prevented them from conducting a full HR investigation into Straub’s abusive style, telling the Inlander that she “fully expected” that to happen.

“THERE WILL IN FACT BE CONSEQUENCES”

Even before public records revealed that Cotton’s sexual harassment allegations had gone uninvestigated, Sanders’ statements were under scrutiny.

In April, Sanders, on her own authority, had offered Cotton a job in the city’s parks division, complete with a raise of more than $9,000. By August, the city council expressed public skepticism over the decision, but Sanders defended it: The raise was an “enticement,” she told the Spokesman-Review, and she was not “aware of” any issues between Straub and Cotton.

“I couldn’t tell you what was going through my head,” Sanders now tells the Inlander.

In October, Shar Lichty, Condon’s mayoral opponent, filed an ethics complaint accusing Sanders of lying.

In her reply to the complaint, Sanders was indignant, saying she refused to “further victimize” Cotton by discussing her transfer. She wrote that her biggest mistake was discussing the issue with the media at all. She went on the attack.

“Ms. Lichty’s claim is irresponsible and malicious as it is intended to garner attention for herself while attempting to harm my personal and professional credibility,” Sanders wrote. “I ask the Commission to hold her accountable for causing harm and instruct her that frivolous claims will not be tolerated.”

The ethics commission didn’t bite. Unanimously, it ruled that if the allegations were true — and Sanders stipulated that they were — Sanders had violated the ethics rules by “repeatedly misrepresenting” the facts. But instead of merely ordering her to be honest in the future, the commission fined her $75 and ordered her to not talk about the details surrounding Cotton’s transfer at all.

Two weeks after the commission’s decision, records were released showing just how untrue Sanders’ statements were. Cotton had specifically informed Sanders of the sexual harassment allegations, asked that they not be investigated, and urged, “My transfer into a new position has to be viewed as an advancement; without any hint that it is for any reason other than a promotion for my past performance.”

The barrage of criticism of Sanders has been constant ever since.

“I take it very personally,” Sanders says. “All that anyone has is their personal credibility, and I feel my personal credibility is under attack.”

Her personal credibility has also been attacked in another police scandal. Discussing an alleged rape of a female police officer by another officer at a party, Sheriff Ozzie Knezovich told KHQ he’d heard that Sanders had pushed the police department to suppress the phrase “sexual assault” from the city’s initial press release. Sanders called this a “fabrication.”

“There will in fact be consequences for him

“THE GLASS PRECIPICE”

The fallout from Sanders’ and Condon’s decisions continues to reverberate. Multiple ethics complaints have now been filed against Condon. On Monday, Nancy Goodspeed, the former parks division spokeswoman, filed an age discrimination suit in connection with Cotton’s transfer.

If you’re counting, that’s three employment attorneys lobbing accusations at the city over the same mess: Straub has filed a $4 million claim for denial of due process, Goodspeed is demanding $1 million and Cotton’s attorney has raised the threat that she may seek a claim of her own.

“In the last desperate throes of trying to salvage power, when does Mayor Condon throw Theresa Sanders under the bus?” former Downtown Spokane Partnership President Mike Tedesco wrote on his blog two weeks ago.

In fact, Sanders says that multiple media outlets have called, asking about rumors that she’s resigned. She hasn’t. But in her decades of experience in male-dominated workplaces, Sanders says she has seen women facing a kind of discrimination called the “glass precipice.”

“Elevating women to top positions so you have someone to throw off the cliff when things get bad,” Sanders says. “I admit I see a little bit of that.”

Condon, with none of the dodging or hedging that has defined many of his answers over the past three months, confirms that Sanders doesn’t need to worry. “The performance of Theresa has been phenomenal as we’ve embarked on and completed much of what I’ve set out to do in my administration,” the mayor says.

For her part, Sanders doesn’t consider this entire episode a failure. Though she says she’s learned to be more careful in what she says, she doesn’t have any regrets. Long term, she thinks this will result in better, clearer policies being developed regarding how to handle complaints.

She worries, however, about the collateral damage from the scandal, that if employees know every sexual harassment allegation must be investigated, women may be less likely to come forward with concerns. She says the tone of the print media stories has been “somewhat malicious and salacious,” and bristles at the extent of Washington state’s public records laws that have made recent stories possible.

Coming from a corporate environment, she believes that the public, frankly, doesn’t need to know certain things about what’s going on inside the city government.

“It’s come down to as an employee of the city, at any level, you have no privacy with regard to your employment,” Sanders says. “Nobody wants to open themselves up to the level of scrutiny that elected officials get. … I don’t think the world needs to know all of the gory details of the challenging personnel issues that we face.” n danielw@inlander.com

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perpetuating that lie,” Sanders said in a KHQ interview.

Knezovich doesn’t recall who told him that Sanders was involved, and “sexual assault” did, in fact, end up in the final press release. But he’s not backing down.

“I’m not the one with the confirmed ethics complaint against me for lying,” Knezovich says. “She is.”

That illustrates a key challenge for the Condon administration moving forward: How do you convince the same people who call you a liar to also trust you?

“I’m at a loss,” Stuckart says. “When I’ve asked, point-blank, a question and was not told the truth, how do you then repair that? I don’t have an answer for you. That’s been my biggest frustration in the last few weeks: How do you get moving again on all these big things we need to be working on?”

Sanders, however, says she’s having trust issues as well. She believes that Stuckart should have come to her with his concerns before going to the media.

“I don’t feel that we have the open and honest relationship that I thought we had,” Sanders says. “Trust is a two-way street.”

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NEWS | DIGEST

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Local tuba players, ranging in age and experience from teenagers to retirees, gathered under the STA Plaza rotunda for TubaChristmas on Saturday. The event is replicated in more than 280 cities nationwide, but this was the first year it’s appeared in Spokane, says Leonard Byrne (pictured), who organized the ensemble. Spokane’s TubaChristmas featured 18 musicians — 12 tuba players and six euphonium players — jamming to Christmas tunes specifically arranged for the “mellow” instruments.

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NOT IN HER NAME A petition seeking to overturn Spokane’s so-called “sanctuary city” ordinance that restricts police and other city employees from making contact with individuals solely based on their immigration status has now qualified for the ballot. But Jackie Murray, a Spokane truck driver and sponsor of the initiative, says she feels “CONNED” into becoming its public face and was treated as a “lackey” and a “stooge.” She says she wants to wipe her hands of it all after having a fallingout with Craig Keller, a co-founder of Respect Washington, an anti-illegal-immigration group based in Western Washington. However, there appears to be no clear way for her to do so.

(JAKE THOMAS)

HANGIN’ EM UP Selby Smith announced his plans to RETIRE as assistant police chief at the end of this year. Smith, 52, was brought into the Spokane Police Department by former Chief Frank Straub as a civilian director of investigations. He’s worked in law enforcement for 32 years, including 26 years with the DEA. Smith replaced Lt. Joe Walker after he and other members of SPD’s leadership took self-demotions under Straub’s reign. For now, there are no plans to replace Smith, interim Chief Rick Dobrow says, in part because his own position is temporary. Capt.

Eric Olsen will take over Smith’s responsibilities in the meantime. (MITCH RYALS)

NEWS | BRIEFS

Status Update The feds grade progress at SPD; plus, a twist in Bergdahl’s case POLICE REPORT CARD

Despite the recent scandal and cover-up within the SPOKANE POLICE DEPARTMENT, a new report from the U.S. Department of Justice says SPD is making “significant progress” on most of its 42 recommendations to improve the agency’s uses of force and its relationship with the community.

The Justice Department handed Spokane a list of recommendations after an 11-month review of the department’s community relations, civilian oversight and use-of-force policies, investigations and training. As of June, when the data for the report was collected, five of those recommendations have been fully completed and 27 more are “in progress,” the DOJ says. No progress has been made on 10 of the recommendations; however, a majority of those either require a sitting ombudsman or need to be worked out during labor contract talks.

One recommendation, for example, was to allow the administrative review panelists — the internal group that reviews uses of force — to start considering the officer’s decision-making and tactics. Currently, panelists only decide if an officer violated policy. A change like this, which could result in discipline, needs to be negotiated with the police unions first.

As far as the completed recommendations: SPD has launched a citizens’ academy, which it intends to continue

on an annual basis, and use-of-force reports are now published online. SPD also refined the process for identifying officers with a high frequency of problems, the report found. The next installment from the Justice Department will be released in the fall of 2016. (MITCH RYALS)

NOT YET FREE

Back in October, BOWE BERGDAHL got the first good news he’s had in a very long time.

The Hailey, Idaho, native — freed from five years of Taliban captivity after a May 2014 prisoner swap — learned that the man in charge of his preliminary hearing, Lt. Col. Mark Visger, had recommended that Bergdahl not face jail time or a punitive discharge. Bergdahl had been charged with desertion and misbehavior before the enemy.

This week, his fortune changed. Gen. Robert Abrams, head of Army Forces Command, ordered that Bergdahl face a general court-martial, instead of a milder “special court-martial.” A general court-martial is a very serious thing: Bergdahl could spend five years in prison the desertion charge, and the rest of his life behind bars because of misbehavior before the enemy.

The Army’s investigator had concluded that sending him to prison would be “inappropriate,” and said his

Bowe Bergdahl is from Hailey, Idaho. investigation found that media claims that the search for Bergdahl resulted in deaths were inaccurate.

“I think he recognizes he was young and naïve and inexperienced,” said Kenneth Dahl, deputy commanding general at Joint Base Lewis-McChord. Dahl suggested that Bergdahl had left to report perceived problems in his unit.

But Eugene Fidell, Bergdahl’s attorney, lamented that “the convening authority did not follow the advice of the preliminary hearing officer who heard the witnesses.”

The court-martial again raises the possibility that five Taliban prisoners had been released so a deserter could be freed from captivity in Afghanistan, only to be sent to captivity in America. (DANIEL WALTERS)

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DECEMBER 17, 2015 INLANDER 17

NEWS | LAW

Originally from Spokane, Colleen Melody heads up the state’s first civil rights unit.

Better Call Colleen

YOUNG KWAK PHOTO

Meet Washington state’s new assistant attorney general leading the charge for civil rights

BY MITCH RYALS

C

olleen Melody probably could have been anything she wanted when she grew up — a doctor, a musician, a professor, a CEO, maybe even a professional softball player. But when you look back on the path that led her to head up the new civil rights unit in the Washington State Office of the Attorney General, it’s clear there’s really only one thing she should have been — a lawyer.

As a little kid, when she got in trouble, Melody presented her parents with an organized, point-bypoint argument for why she shouldn’t be punished, her younger sister Shannon recalls. In middle school, Melody joined a peer mediator program where she learned how to resolve disputes among her classmates. She continued doing that work while she attended Ferris High School, but instead of helping classmates, she mediated juvenile criminal cases through a program with the Spokane County Prosecutor’s Office. Her job was to help kids who’d been charged with a crime to communicate with their alleged victims and try to come up with a solution to avoid criminal charges.

It was one of her first experiences giving a voice to those who needed help finding their own.

“My presence there is to hopefully provide an impres-

18 INLANDER DECEMBER 17, 2015

sion that the kids’ perspectives are going to be taken seriously,” says Melody, 33. “To show this is a place where kid interests and viewpoints are important.”

As an undergraduate at the University of Washington, she answered phones for the ACLU office in Seattle and prepared and filed immigration petitions with the Spanish government during her year studying in Cádiz, Spain. She also volunteered for Casa Latina, a nonprofit day-worker advocacy organization in Seattle, where she helped immigrants find jobs.

When it looked like she might be headed east for law school — NYU or maybe Columbia University — she was offered a full ride to the UW law school through the William H. Gates Public Service Law Program.

After a year-long clerkship for Judge Ronald M. Gould in the Ninth Circuit U.S. Court of Appeals following her graduation, she worked as a trial lawyer for the Department of Justice in the Civil Rights Division.

Earlier this year, she accepted an offer to lead the newly established Wing Luke Civil Rights Unit in the attorney general’s office.

“Colleen is a superstar young lawyer,” Gould says.

“I was happy to have her clerk for me, and I think she predictably will do a very competent and conscious job.”

F

or decades, Richard Butler, a leader of the Aryan Nations, hosted a “World Congress” on his 20-acre compound in Hayden, Idaho. Melody’s family has a lake place in Hayden, where they would take vacations in the summer. Hundreds of skinheads, white supremacists and neo-Nazis flocked to North Idaho and made national news for their goal of an all-white Pacific Northwest.

The news coverage frustrated Melody, who felt defensive about Hayden, which was gaining national attention for the hatred spewed by Butler.

“That was a consistent drumbeat, and that was formative,” she says. “They were promoting and engaging in race-based violence that was a disgusting message to many of us, and yet they were our neighbor.”

In 2000, the Southern Poverty Law Center, a legal aid organization based in Alabama, with the help of Coeur d’Alene attorney Norm Gissel, sued Butler for assaulting a mother and her son when they stopped in front of his property to search for a lost wallet. The jury returned a $6.3 million judgment against Butler and three of his followers. The judgment bankrupted him and he lost his compound in North Idaho.

“I noticed that lawyers doing work on behalf of one

client might have an impact on the whole community in some way,” she says. “That made a big impression on me.”

That impression carried her through college and into law school. In 2006, she was one of the first people selected for the Gates Public Service Law Program, funded through a gift from Microsoft co-founder Bill Gates to his father. The birthday gift was five scholarships a year for 80 years. In exchange, the recipients agreed to dedicate the first five years of their career to public service.

For Melody, that was a no-brainer.

F

or state Attorney General Bob Ferguson, a little flower shop in the Tri-Cities sparked an interest in assembling the new Civil Rights Unit. When Barronelle Stutzman, the 70-year-old grandmother who owns Arlene’s Flowers and Gifts in Richland, refused to provide flowers for a same-sex marriage, Ferguson’s office filed a suit under the state’s anti-discrimination law in 2013. In February, a Benton County Superior Court judge ruled against Stutzman. She is appealing the decision.

It was then, Ferguson says, that he realized he was in charge of the biggest law firm in the state, but he didn’t have anyone to pursue affirmative civil rights work.

He adds that it was important to him to hire the right person to lead the state’s efforts to protect Washingtonians’ civil liberties.

He points to Melody’s record of working as a trial lawyer in the Justice Department, enforcing fair housing and civil enforcement laws.

“She’s an intellectual powerhouse, and has demonstrated

“She could be sitting in any office in the country and making a helluva lot more than I’m paying her, but she has a vision for this office.” throughout her professional life a passion for issues related to civil rights,” Ferguson says. “She could be sitting in any office in the country and making a helluva lot more than I’m paying her, but she has a vision for this office.”

During her five years with the U.S. Department of Justice, Melody achieved several big victories, but one in particular stands out to her.

In 2012, she won a $2 million settlement in a case where a landlord in Bakersfield, California, was accused of sexual harassment. At the time, it was the largest monetary settlement ever secured by the Department of Justice in a sexual harassment suit under the Fair Housing Act. Since accepting the job in her home state, Melody has been reaching out to community groups, businesses and legal aid organizations, gauging the issues facing Washington state’s citizens and what’s currently being done to address them. Some that continue to pop up: housing and employment discrimination.

To that end, she filed a lawsuit in October against Spokanearea car salesman Monte Masingale for sexual harassment of his female employees. According to the complaint, Masingale is accused of only considering females for secretarial positions and then making sexual comments, kissing and grabbing them and asking for sex in exchange for the job.

“I think there have to be creative ideas around how to make sure everybody, not just large corporations with certain kinds of moneyed interests, can benefit from the law, and that the law still reflects their participation in this community,” Melody says.

“It’s up to public interest lawyers and other community partners to make sure our policies are developed and enforced to protect everybody, because laws are not just for people who have lots of resources.”  mitchr@inlander.com

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DECEMBER 17, 2015 INLANDER 19

the

longest Walk

ILLUSTRATIONS by simeon mills Story by Mike Bookey

20 INLANDER DECEMBER 17, 2015

On May 6, 1896, Helga EsTby and her 18-year-old daughter Clara left their family farm outside of Spokane with the intention of walking a 4,000-mile route to New York City. Helga, a supporter of women's suffrage, hoped to prove that women were equal to men and also capable of extraordinary featS. Helga announced that sponsors on the EAST coast had promised her a $10,000 prize if she could walk to New York in seven months. With life-changing money on their minds, the mother and daughter set out on a journey that would bring them a few months of fame, but also a world of pain and disappointment.

Helga and her Husband, Ole, came to the U.S. from Norway and Eventually settled on a farm in Mica Creek, about 25 miles Southeast of Spokane where they and their GROWING BROOD OF children hoped to settle down.

But by 1896, the family was in steep financial trouble and was coming close to losing its 160-acre farm.

helga had a plan to save her family.

What they brought:

a knife.

She went to the SpokesmanReview and announced the plan. The conditions were as follows: No begging, no escorts; food and lodging had to be exchanged for labor. She was vague as to the identity of this wealthy sponsor on the East Coast.

a notebook and pen.

calling cards.

$5 cash.

a letter of introduction from spokane mayor h.m. belt.

a revolver.

"Why do we take this trip? Well, to make money..."

They walked about 27 miles per day.

DECEMBER 17, 2015 INLANDER 21

"in wyoming we had a narrow escape from a mountain lion ..." "while in colorado we experienced the dangers of the rattle snake."

To keep from becoming lost, the Estbys followed the freshly laid railroad tracks eastward.

➡ when he wouldn't leave them alone...

and in eastern oregon, they were followed by a vagrant.

➡

including eventual president william mckinley and the wife of william jennings bryan...

they met politicians along the way...

and the governors of five states.

22 INLANDER DECEMBER 17, 2015

they worked for food and places to spend the night. "during our travels we have worn out 16 pairs of shoes."

➡

"we have often gone with but one meal a day."

"at one time we got into a cloudburst, and it was only by holding onto shrubs that we escaped with out lives."

clara pulled the revolver and shot him.

after clara was laid up with an ankle injury for 10 days in the midwest, the women walked on.

DECEMBER 17, 2015 INLANDER 23 SpokaneSymphony_Events_121015_8V_GG.tif

On December 23, seven and a half months after leaving Spokane, the Estbys arrived in New York City.

But they were a few days past the given deadline...

The following day, Helga visited the offices of the New York World newspaper. But over night She'd Somehow lost all her money as well as her notebook.

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24 INLANDER DECEMBER 17, 2015

she assumed she would be greeted by her sponsor, and perhaps EVEN given THE money on the spot.

On Christmas Eve Helga learned that their sponsor refused to honor the $10,000 prize or even provide them train tickets home.

So Helga and Clara, the women who walked across a continent, spent Christmas homeless and destitute in New York. They worked in Brooklyn throughout the spring to save money to come home.

In April news came from the farm that Helga's 15-year-old daughter, Bertha, had died of diptheria.

The identity of the sponsor remains a mystery, as do the circumstances by which Helga ever connected with someone willing to put up the equivalent of $250,000 in today's money.

DECEMBER 17, 2015 INLANDER 25

With a broken heart, Helga finally asked the public for assistance, and a railroad owner got the mother and daughter home.

Along the way, they told newspapers about their intentions to write a book.

26 INLANDER DECEMBER 17, 2015

When they finally arrived back at Mica Creek, Helga learned that her son, Johnny, had also died of diptheria.

Rather than receiving a hero's welcome, Helga was derided as an absent mother by her family and her community.

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The family moved to Spokane after losing their farm in 1901, and even after Ole died, Helga never talked about the walk across America.

But she did write hundreds of pages about it, which she never shared with anyone.

When Helga died in 1942, her daughter Ida, still bitter with a feeling of abandonment, burned the entire manuscript. Only a couple news clippings remained in the family.

Those clippings ended up in the hands of Thelma Estby, Helga's granddaughter. She passed them onto her own grandson, who wrote about the trip for a Washington state history contest. one of the judge's wives, Linda Lawrence Hunt, a professor at Whitworth University, was so taken by the story she was inspired to wrIte the book Bold Spirit, which helped resuscitate an amazing tale ...

that may have otherwise been lost.

THE END.

SIMEON MILLS is a cartoonist, writer, and middle school teacher in Spokane. His new graphic novel, Butcher Paper, is available at Auntie's, Boo Radley's and simeonmills.com.

MIKE BOOKEY is the culture editor at the Inlander.

SOURCES: Bold Spirit: Helga Estby's Forgotten Walk Across Victorian America by Linda Lawrence Hunt; HistoryLink.org; The archives of Minneapolis Star Tribune, The Spokesman-Review, New York Times, Des Moines Register, Norwegian American Weekly To learn more about the Estbys' walk across America, head to inlander.com for an interview with Linda Lawrence Hunt, the author of Bold Spirit.

28 INLANDER DECEMBER 17, 2015

easy riders SUPPLEMENT TO THE INLANDER

december in this issue gift guide winter beers european vacation

4 6 8

DREAMING OF A NEW WINTER RIDE?

Whether it’s a car, truck or SUV, we have a loan* to get you on the road.

Stop in to any branch to learn about all the auto and personal loans available.

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2 SNOWLANDER DECEMBER 2015

Follow us watrust.com

EDITOR’S NOTE he screen saver on my computer is of a photo I took while traveling in Utah a couple of years ago. It embodies the essence of ski season and is what keeps me excited during non-ski season. It reads: “Coming soon. A small town at the end of a dead end road. A road that is never closed, travel may be temporarily restricted.

Where you don’t lose your girlfriend, you lose your turn. Where there are no friends on a powder day. Friendships last a lifetime.

Lives forever changed. Highway.”

The planning, training, waxing, dreaming and talking about this season is now a thing of the past; we’re in full-on ski season. All of the five area resorts have been open, and as long as Ma Nature

NOW N!

Gary Peterson

THE BEST TIME OF THE YEAR IS HERE T

OPE

WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/SNOWLANDERNW

SNOWLANDER.COM GIFT GUIDE

4

WINTER BEERS

6

G E TAWAY

8

LOCAL EVENTS

12

LAST RUN

15

cooperates, we should be full-on through the winter.

We’ve already seen some crazy weather this fall; here’s hoping that all of that is behind us. Memories of seasons past are just that, a thing of the past.

We’re all anxiously awaiting to see whose forecast will come true out of the conflicting weather reports that we received before the season.

Until we can look back at this season and see which forecast was correct, enjoy every day on the mountain. Do your snow dance and pray for snow. Light bonfires, burn skis, do whatever it takes to make this winter memorable. Before you know it, the holidays will be behind us, and all we’ll have to focus on is the ski season in front of us. The best time of year.

See you on the mountain!

— JEN FORSYTH Snowlander Editor jen@snowlander.com

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JUST 28 MILES FROM DOWNTOWN SPOKANE! DECEMBER 2015 SNOWLANDER 3

GIFT GUIDE

GIFTS FOR SKIERS AND BOARDERS

BURTON THROWBACK BOARD

DRAGON X1 TRANSITIONS GOGGLE

Stuck at home writing a finals paper but want to enjoy the freshly falling snow before you have to shovel it away? Bring the thrill of mountain riding with this surfer snowboard, designed to enjoy in your very own backyard. Due to retention requirements for skis and snowboards, check with your local resorts before riding the Throwback on their runs.

Described as Hella fog lamps for your eyeballs, these multi-light lenses are an essential for skiing or snowboarding in the Inland Northwest. It doesn’t matter what the light is doing — sunny, foggy, overcast, flat — these lenses will transition almost instantaneously to any light condition.

$130, WINTERSPORT, SPOKANE

BY JEN FORSYTH

$270, THE SPORTS CREEL, SPOKANE VALLEY

HELLY HANSEN WOMEN’S ASTRA JACKET

$140, ALPINE HAUS, SPOKANE

Perfect for layering or unique enough to make its own statement, this jacket is an essential piece to show off style while being prepared for wintry conditions, either on the mountain or during a stormy day in the city.

Holiday Lodging Packages

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HYDRO FLASK INSULATED GROWLER $55, MOUNTAIN GEAR, SPOKANE Hydration is key for a long day on the slopes. This 64-ounce, high-tech flask will keep your hydration levels up and always have you prepared for finding that random brewery with an unforgettable beer while traveling through mountain towns this winter. It keeps cold stuff cold and hot stuff hot.

SKHOOP LILLY SKIRT

$139, ESCAPE OUTDOORS, COEUR D’ALENE Skhoop brought us down skirts and revolutionized the “fashion meets function” aspect of the mountain lifestyle. Now they bring us a woolly skirt with a festive pattern that will turn heads at the next après-ski function for that special mountain girl in your life.

HESTRA ALPINE PRO GLOVE

$150, SKI SHACK, HAYDEN

Looking for the ultimate ski and snowboard glove? The Alpine Pro comes in array of colors to show your personality. You’ll be the envy of all your ski-bum buddies donning a pair of these on Christmas morning while riding up the chairlift. Hestra quality, lifelong warranty, super soft and comfortable.

PROOF SUNGLASSES

$95-$130, ALPINE SHOP, SANDPOINT Starting in a garage by three brothers in southern Idaho in 2010, Proof Eyewear has a range of styles and stories to go along with each model. These eco-friendly frames range from all-wood styles that float to a mixed-medium styles with wood and recycled cotton.

UNION SNOWBOARD BINDINGS

LIMITED EDITION RAINIER BEER, $260, 7B BOARDSHOP, SANDPOINT

Union Bindings has teamed up with the iconic Pacific Northwest brewery to bring you a super-limited run of these festive snowboard bindings with a jubilee theme. These bindings are equipped with a matching Rainier beer cooler, perfect for housing some refreshing “Vitamin R” to enjoy after a long day on the mountain. 

Pas s t u o k o o L

R POWD E

& STAgY a es Packa

Historic Wallace Chamber of Commerce 10 River Street Wallace, Idaho 83873 Phone/Fax: 208.753.7151 director@wallaceidahochamber.com wallaceidahochamber.com DECEMBER 2015 SNOWLANDER 5

BEER CELEBRATING SEASONAL BREWS River City Brewing’s Midnight Marmot Imperial Stout gets the royal treatment with a new festival BY DAN NAILEN

O

ne benefit of hanging around skilled brewmasters is their constant need for experimentation.

Even when they formulate and virtually perfect a delicious beer, they still love playing with new flavors, tweaking the tried and true in search of a tasty twist.

That willingness to play is the inspiration for River City Brewing’s first International Marmot Beer Festival, a day-long party celebrating 10 new variations of their popular winter seasonal, Midnight Marmot Imperial Stout. The 140 or so ticket holders will get to sample raspberry-infused Marmot, a root beer version, and Marmot aged in whiskey barrels that give the festival its “international” flavor, including Irish, Scottish and Canadian whiskey (or whisky) barrels and American bourbon barrels. In addition to the 2-ounce samples, they’ll also get a commemorative snifter and a full pint of their favorite.

“We thought there was an opportunity to do something bigger with the beer,” says Todd Grove, who along with fellow brewer Moose Sanders came up with the different versions of Marmot for the festival. “This is our most successful seasonal offering or specialty offering. It has a good fan base.” Aside

from being a favorite of the in-house staff since River City started making it in 2013, the malty, rich Marmot is particularly suited to experimentation.

Both Grove and Sanders note that the Midnight Marmot is a favorite of theirs among the beers they produce for River City. While they always look to improve it year to year, the one-day festival allowed both of them to get more creative than their day-today brewing typically allows. Sanders says he was able to pull out some techniques he hadn’t used since his homebrewing days, and Grove notes that the 10 variations produced for the festival include a mix of “tried techniques and experiments, too.”

“We like this beer so much, we’re just bursting with ideas,” Grove says. “Between Moose and I, we had more ideas than we have taps to put on for the fest. We could have easily kicked out 20 different variations.”

For the first International Marmot Beer Festival, 10 will have to suffice. But there’s always next year.  First Annual International Marmot Beer Festival • Sat, Dec. 19, from noon to 8 pm • $25 advance/$30 at the door • River City Brewing • 121 S. Cedar • rivercityred.blogspot.com • 413-2388

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A FEW MORE LOCALLY CRAFTED WINTER BEERS TO CONSIDER 12 STRINGS OF WINTER TWELVE STRING BREWING COMPANY, SPOKANE VALLEY This winter ale, available through January, blends four kinds of hops with some sweet malty flavors to make for a smooth, highly drinkable après-ski treat. The dash of vanilla adds to the seasonal appeal.

Available on tap at the brewery and regional bars and restaurants.

2 FINGER POUR

ORLISON BREWING COMPANY, AIRWAY HEIGHTS An altogether different taste for a seasonal brew, 2 Finger Pour is Orlison’s effort to make a beer taste like an Old Fashioned cocktail, using several different malts, whiskey barrel chips, orange peel and some small-batch local bitters. It’s sweet, but not too much so, and a welcome change from cookie-cutter winter ales. Available through the winter at the brewery, Orlison’s Spokane taproom and in cans.

THE DOGFATHER

LAUGHING DOG BREWING, SANDPOINT A new batch of the Dogfather imperial stout is being distributed as this issue hits the streets, and fans of its bold approach are rejoicing.

Its blend of seven malts and four different hops add to the complexity of this slightly bitter beer, given seasonal appeal by hints of coffee and chocolate. Available at the brewery, regional bars and restaurants and in cans.

— DAN NAILEN

Winter Blast Family Day

Dec. 21

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DECEMBER 2015 SNOWLANDER 7

GETAWAY

‘SCARE US SAFELY’ The humbling European adventure of two friends BY JOHN TRAYNOR WITH STEPHEN BARBIERI Scenes from Chamonix, near the junction of France, Switzerland and Italy.

COURTESY OF JOHN TRAYNOR AND STEPHEN BARBIERI

A

pilgrimage to Chamonix, France, the birthplace of alpinism, is something every backcountry skier daydreams about while skinning familiar hometown hills. Our dream came true in January 2015, highlighted by two days of off-piste skiing among the glaciers, steep couloirs and towering peaks of the Mt. Blanc massif. We met our guide, Thor, the night before he led us into the mountains. From Taos, New Mexico, he left for Chamonix after high school and has been here for almost 20 years. Thor is a great guy.

He’s a small guy, but we both laughed at how we only thought of him as small while in town, and that in the mountains he seemed like a giant.

We told him that we wanted him to “scare us safely,” and that we wanted steep skiing and some touring. He told us to come prepared to tour (our backpacks loaded with backcountry gear) and our passports (in case we drove through the Mt. Blanc tunnel to the Italian side).

8 SNOWLANDER DECEMBER 2015

He would have harnesses, crampons and ice axes for us. Our hearts were pumping.

After staying up too late — due to the time change, excitement and anxiety and a cool bar called Elevation, full of drunken locals — we met Thor at the Pointe Isabelle Hotel at 8 am. He told us we were going to Italy, as he had spoken to some other guides and heard it was good. We drove through the tunnel and arrived in a sleepy Italian village called La Palud, located at the base of the Helbronner tram. After a cappuccino at the Café del Funivie, we made first bin (apparently the cool way to say tram car) that morning.

We had two different tram rides, and at the top of the second had to ascend an enclosed, steep, 228-step staircase, arriving at the 11,072-foot Punta Helbronner. We were breathing hard, light-headed and growing more and more weary.

At the top, we hiked with our skis on our backs, in awe of the surrounding mountains.

The Alps exceeded our expectations visually, and that is saying a great deal. We were looking back toward the French side at the Aiguille du Midi tram up from Chamonix and down at the Vallée Blanche (a glacier that’s also a famous ski run, but inaccessible due to low snow and crevasse exposure at this time). After a short ski around the peak, we put on our skins for a hike up to the shoulder of the Aiguille d’Entrèves at just under 12,000 feet.

The vistas from the top of the ridge were incredible, with expansive views well into Italy and back into France. We were psyched, but also starting to get a bit more nervous. In retrospect, we should have been far more nervous than we were.

Once we got to the ridge, Thor told us to start getting our crampons on, and to get our ice axes out. Yikes. Hearts began to race, and would have even more if we’d known what was ahead.

At this point — and this is for our mothers and wives — we were never in a no-fall-zone situation and were always roped to a guide when we were in an exposed situation. That disclaimer being made, we were scared shitless.

T

hor asked us who was more comfortable with the rope and crampons. Given that I had used them once before, it fell to me rather than Stephen. Thor said that I would go at the back, with Stephen in the middle. He roped up Stephen first, and much to Stephen’s chagrin, realized that he’d mixed up the order, so now Stephen was going to be at the back. He then instructed us on the best technique with the crampons and ice ax, and how to simply stow the ice ax if we needed both hands.

He asked, “Are you guys ready to go?” We said “yes,” even though there’s no doubt that the answer was “no” in both of our minds. He gave us permission to go really slow and encouraged us all along the way. We kept the rope tight between us, which gave a sense of security. We both laughed afterward that during the roped-up hike up the ridge, we only looked at our hands and ...continued on next page

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DECEMBER 2015 SNOWLANDER 9

GETAWAY

December

“‘SCARE US SAFELY’,” CONTINUED...

Gumbo doesn’t work too well in a stocking, maybe try a gift card instead.

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10 SNOWLANDER DECEMBER 2015

our feet and the rock in front of us — never looking up or down the mountain. Not going to lie… we were scared.

We came to the crux move, where we had to shimmy around a large rock outcropping. Keep in mind that our skis protruding out and above our packs were really disconcerting, as it felt like it took our center of gravity out of whack. Stephen had to make the crux move first, because he was on the end of the rope and we needed to belay him and then me. He was not happy about that, but neither of us said a word most of the hour that this took place.

Although at one time I did look back to him and say, “You’re not at Schweitzer Mountain anymore, Dorothy!”

We both successfully made it around the rock, and were psyched to do so. We asked Thor if that was the crux move, and he said, “Weeelllllllll, actually putting your skis on is the crux move.” He had this funny way of dragging out the word “well”

whenever we asked him a question when we were clearly nervous. Once around, Thor took us off the rope (a bit disconcerting) and Stephen had to downclimb 10 feet to where he could kick in a flat spot to put on his skis. I was taking the higher road with Thor, and had to kick a flat spot into the snow to set my pack. Taking off crampons and putting on skis while perched at 12,000 feet above a very steep run was precarious, to say the least. Stephen was euphoric when he clicked into his skis, despite the fact that we still hadn’t even hit the 40-plus-degree slope we were about to ski.

We grouped up and Thor explained the run and the approach. He would go first and then we would go one at a time. As is typically the case when we ski, Stephen skied behind me, since I’m the one more likely to blow up on a ski slope. Thor said he didn’t know the snow conditions, so he advised us to take it easy, as it could change. He took off, and the snow actually

looked great. He skied down about 1,000 vertical feet and then signaled for me to go.

It was a wide slope, but steeper than I expected, and I was nervous when I dropped in. I also didn’t expect the snow to be as soft, or for there to be a slough. While they were some of the most magical turns of my life, they were certainly not the prettiest.

I fell about halfway down out of sheer nerves. Stephen, as ever, skied it beautifully.

We did this for the next 6,000 feet for the longest, most thrilling and exhausting run of our lives.

We landed at the Pavillion restaurant, ordered a beer, soda and plate of pasta. I was soaked from sweat and snow (I fell another time, of course). I felt the effects of the stress and the altitude at that time and struggled to eat my pasta, but was still in awe of what we had just done.

D

ay 2: It may seem crazy that very little of this story is about the actual skiing,

2015 POWDERKEG BREW FESTIVAL

AWARD WINNERS Festival was held

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PEOPLE’S CHOICE AWARD TOP POUR

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LEMON BASIL

WINTER BEER

BOOTJACK IPA

ONE TREE HARD CIDER, SPOKANE VALLEY

or taking turns, but the ironic part is that was our experience. It was more about the approach than actually skiing, and the same could be said of the second day. We met Thor again at 8 and headed to the Grands Montets ski area, 10 minutes up the valley from Chamonix. We made first bin again and arrived at the top at 9:30. The plan was to ski in the area above the Argentiere glacier.

We skinned up the massive glacier in this incredible area where we were surrounded by granite peaks that thrust 3,000 to 4,000 feet above us, rimmed with couloirs and seracs. It was cold and windy, but very sunny. The views were breathtaking. Our guide would point out ridiculously steep couloirs that people would ski.

It really is an entirely different world of skiing; one that I’m glad to have experienced, but humbled by as well.

As the sun came up over the ridge, and we worked our way farther up the glacier, it warmed up for us. We skinned along the Argentiere glacier slightly uphill for about 30 to 45 minutes, and then began to climb, up the slope that we were going GOT A STORY? to ski, to the Col d’Argentiere Tell us about your epic ski at 11,715 feet. As we were trip at jen@snowlander.com. skinning up and almost approaching the climb, this guy in tights was flying up behind us toward a different route. Thor said, “There’s the fastest guy in the world.” We thought he was kidding until he told us it was Kílian Jornet, the fastest trailrunner, ski mountaineer and alpine climber in the world. He didn’t use the tram. He started skinning from the parking lot.

The skin up was tougher than we expected because of the altitude and the steepness of the skin track, to say nothing of jet lag and the total time and distance (it took us about three hours and our total ascent was around 3,750 feet).

The top of the Col d’Argentiere was magnificent. We were actually straddling the French and Swiss border, looking out into Switzerland.

It was quite windy and cold up top, so we didn’t hang around long. Plus, there was some skiing to be done. The snow was much better than we thought it would be, based on our climb up to the Col, with some nice powder. I’m happy to say that I skied much better, with no falls (which was a good thing, considering there were crevasses in the run) and had an amazing 3,500 feet of soft turns.

We’re not sure if the euphoria we experienced at the bottom of this run was due to the quality of the skiing, the setting, the satisfaction or just the fact that we knew we were safe, but we were so psyched as we skied back down the glacier and to the bottom of the Grands Montets, for a total run of 7,700 vertical feet. Truly amazing.

As Stephen said, “Thor safely scared the shit out of us.” And as I said, “I love being this tired, considering what is causing it.”

Consider as well that each of these were one-run days. As our buddy John Stifter says: We got Chamified!! n

TOP POUR

BEER

BIFROST ALE

ICICLE BREWING, LEAVENWORTH

ELYSIAN BREWING, SEATTLE

BEST OF POWDERKEG BEST CIDER

BEST BEER DARK PERSUASION

BAKED APPLE

ICICLE BREWING, LEAVENWORTH

D’S WICKED CIDER, KENNEWICK

2015 DRINK LOCAL AWARD WINNERS LOCAL BREWERIES AND CIDERIES IN THE SPOKANE/COEUR D’ALENE AREA

PEOPLE’S CHOICE AWARD TOP POUR

TOP POUR

CIDER

TOP POUR

BEER

LEMON BASIL

WINTER BEER

HUCKLEBERRY ALE

ONE TREE HARD CIDER, SPOKANE VALLEY

COPPER DONKEY

RIVER CITY BREWING, SPOKANE

NO-LI BREWHOUSE, SPOKANE

SECOND PLACE

SECOND PLACE

SECOND PLACE

CARAMEL CINNAMON

JUICE BOX

SWEDISH NINJA

ONE TREE HARD CIDER, SPOKANE VALLEY

TRICKSTER’S BREWING, COEUR D’ALENE

ORLISON BREWING, AIRWAY HEIGHTS

THIRD PLACE

THIRD PLACE

THIRD PLACE

THE ABBESS

COPPER DONKEY

STATION 7

LIBERTY CIDERWORKS, SPOKANE

NO-LI BREWHOUSE, SPOKANE

BENNIDITO’S BREWING, SPOKANE

BEST OF POWDERKEG BEST CIDER LEMON BASIL

ONE TREE HARD CIDER, SPOKANE VALLEY

People’s Choice was awarded for highest number of pours.

BEST BEER MIDNIGHT MARMOT RIVER CITY BREWING, SPOKANE

Best Of PowderKeg was voted on by the attendees of the 2015 PowderKeg Brew Festival.

DECEMBER 2015 SNOWLANDER 11

WINTER EVENTS

Locally Owned & Operated Since 1954

Happy days Holi FROM THREE

GENERATIONS OF FAMILY AT THE

SPORTS CREEL!

THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING US SINCE 1954

12505 E SPRAGUE AVE SPOKANE VALLEY, WA 509.924.2330

NEW YEAR’S ON THE MOUNTAIN

W

ith chairlifts open until 6 pm this New Year’s Eve, you may just build up an appetite shredding the gnar all day at Silver Mountain Resort. Not to worry: Noah’s Loft has you covered, with a special prime rib dinner buffet from 6 to 9 pm, running $25 for adults and $15 for children ages 12 and under.

To complement the roast, the buffet also features garden salad, Hawaiian rolls,

For all your ski and snowboard needs.

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12 SNOWLANDER DECEMBER 2015

DECEMBER NIGHT SKIING KICKOFF PARTY The first night skiing event of the season starts with a bang, and the snowy runs will glow under the night lights. Also includes the first live band performance of the season in the Lodge. Dec. 18, from 3:30-9:30 pm. $20 lift tickets. Mt. Spokane Ski & Snowboard Park, 29500 N. Mt. Spokane Park Dr. mtspokane.com (238-2220)

garlic herb mashed potatoes and garlicsautéed vegetables, capped off with a dessert choice of huckleberry cheesecake or classic pumpkin pie. Other NYE festivities on the mountain include late tubing hours from 5 to 7 pm, a live DJ with karaoke at Noah’s (21+) and a kid-friendly midnight countdown at the Silver Rapids Indoor Waterpark.

With indoor and outdoor entertainment

WHITEOUT PARTY The mountain hosts its “pray for snow” event — wear white and send out good thoughts that this year won’t be a repeat of last year! Dec. 19. Lookout Pass, I-90 Exit 0 at Mullan, Idaho. skilookout.com (208-744-1301) CHRISTMAS ON THE MOUNTAIN An evening of holiday-themed festivities for the family; details TBA. Dec. 19. Mission Ridge Resort, 7500 Mission Ridge Rd., Wenatchee, Wash. missionridge.com/events

for all ages, Silver is a popular spot for families looking for a memorable start to the new year.

— MAX CARTER New Year’s Eve at Silver Mountain • Thu, Dec. 31; event times vary • Silver Mountain Resort • 610 Bunker Ave., Kellog, Idaho • silvermt.com • 866-344-2675

RENEGADES AND HANDRAILS PT. 1 / LOCAL BREWFEST Part one of the 49º rail jam trilogy, with contests and more. Also taking place on the mountain that day is a winter brew fest, with local breweries featured. Dec. 19. 49 Degrees North Mountain Resort, 3311 Flowery Trail Rd., Chewelah. ski49n. com (935-6649) AVALANCHE AWARENESS COURSE Know the indicators of an avalanche and learn survival and digging methods in this one-day introductory classroom course. Dec. 19, at 9 am. Whitewater

Ski Resort, 602 Lake St., Nelson, B.C. skiwhitewater.com (250-354-4944) FREE NIGHT SKIING To celebrate the regionwide start of the holiday break from school, the mountain opens up the lifts and runs for no cost.

Dec. 19, from 3 pm-close. (Lift tickets still required; stop by the ticket window before boarding). Schweitzer Mountain Resort, 10000 Schweitzer Mountain Rd., Sandpoint, Idaho. schweitzer.com (208263-9555)

WINTER BLAST FAMILY FUN DAY Bring the whole family up to the mountain to hit the slopes, including the nordic trail and the terrain park.

Lift tickets are on special for $10 off, as are rentals. Dec. 21. 49 Degrees North Mountain Resort, 3311 Flowery Trail Rd., Chewelah. ski49n.com (9356649) BREAKFAST WITH SANTA Santa starts his day before heading out to his sleigh with breakfast at Big White’s Happy Valley Lodge, of course enjoying his pancakes with maple syrup in the Canadian fashion. Dec. 22 and 23, from 8-10 am. Big White Ski Resort, 5315 Big White Rd., Kelowna, B.C. bigwhite.com (250-765-3101) SKI WITH SANTA The Big Man in Red takes a break before the big day to fit in a few runs, with a Balloon Parade on Christmas Eve and carolers in the Village. Dec. 23-24. Schweitzer Mountain Resort, 10000 Schweitzer Mountain Rd., Sandpoint, Idaho. schweitzer.com (208-263-9555) CHRISTMAS AT MT. SPOKANE The mountain runs are open on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day from 9 am-4 pm, along with two tube hill sessions on Dec. 24, from 11:30 am-1 pm and 1-2:30 pm. Mt. Spokane Ski & Snowboard Park, 29500 N. Mt. Spokane Park Dr. mtspokane.com (238-2220) LOOKOUT CHRISTMAS BUFFET The annual buffet lunch is served from 11 am-2 pm, and the lifts are operating from 10 am-4 pm. Dec. 25. Lookout Pass, I-90 Exit 0 at Mullan, Idaho. skilookout.com (208-744-1301) NIGHT SKIING CANNED FOOD DRIVE Ride the mountain at night for just $4 if you bring two nonperishable food items; otherwise, lift tickets are $15.

Dec. 26, from 4-8 pm. 49 Degrees North Mountain Resort, 3311 Flowery Trail Rd., Chewelah. ski49n.com MOONLIGHT SNOWSHOE HIKES Guided evening hikes (3 miles) through pristine old-growth forests with the moon lighting the way. The first hike in the series is Sat, Dec. 26, from 4-7 pm. Also offered Jan. 22 and Feb. 19. $30, includes equipment rental and trail fee (sign up a week in advance), for ages 13+. Schweitzer Mountain Resort, 10000 Schweitzer Mountain Rd., Sandpoint, Idaho. schweitzer.com (208-255-3081)

JANUARY NIGHT SKIING CANNED FOOD DRIVE Ride the mountain at night for just $4 if you bring two nonperishable food items; otherwise, lift tickets are $15.

Jan. 2 and 16, from 4-8 pm. 49 Degrees North Mountain Resort, 3311 Flowery Trail Rd., Chewelah. ski49n.com JACKASS DAY Silver (which originated as the Jackass Ski Bowl) celebrates its 48th birthday with retro lift ticket prices of just $12, and of course, birthday cake. Also, help the mountain achieve a Guinness World Record by hosting the largest ski lesson ever. Jan. 8. Silver Mountain Resort, 610 Bunker Ave., Kellogg, Idaho. silvermt.com (866-344-2675)

GET LISTED!

Submit events online at Inlander.com/getlisted or email related details to getlisted@inlander.com.

JUNIOR STARLIGHT SERIES Schweitzer hosts a low-cost ski racing series for experienced and new racers. Organized by the nonprofit Independent Race Team. Series dates are Jan. 8, 15, 22 and 29, with events from 5:30-7 pm. $29-$39/competitor.

Schweitzer Mountain Resort, 10000 Schweitzer Mountain Rd., Sandpoint, Idaho. Details at schweitzer.com or independentracing.com LADIES DAY The all-day program includes a lift ticket, gear rental, continental breakfast and four hours of personalized instruction from Mt. Spokane’s female ski instructors. To wrap up the busy day, enjoy wine and cheese and a massage. Jan. 8. $99/person; call to register and save a spot. Mt. Spokane Ski & Snowboard Park, 29500 N. Mt. Spokane Park Dr. mtspokane.com (238-2220)

KPND SKI & BOARD PARTIES RETURNING FOR 2015/16 SEASON PRESENTED BY

TUNE TUNE IN IN OR OR FIND FIND US US ON ON FACEBOOK FACEBOOK FOR FOR DETAILS DETAILS MOUN

Your Adventure Starts Her e

IN GEAR

DOWNHILL DIVAS The mountain hosts its women’s ski and snowboard program every Friday through mid-March. Groups of riders are taught by top female instructors to create a comfortable learning environment for riders of all levels.

Jan. 8-March 18, Fridays from 12:303:30 pm. Lookout Pass, I-90 Exit 0 at Mullan, Idaho. skilookout.com

UGLY SWEATER CONTEST Don the most terrible piece of clothing in your winter wardrobe on this day for a chance to win prizes, and of course, for the dress-to-impress factor. Dec. 27. Lookout Pass, I-90 Exit 0 at Mullan, Idaho. skilookout.com (208-744-1301)

KINKY RAIL JAM Skiers and snowboarders both ride in style in the rail park competing for top spots in their respective categories.

Jan. 9; details TBA. Fernie Alpine Resort, 5339 Fernie Ski Hill Rd., Fernie, B.C. skifernie.com (250-423-4655)

NEW YEAR’S EVE PARTIES Ring in 2016 on the mountain with live music and entertainment for the whole family — including a kids “tween party” ($35/person; ages 6-11) — with a big celebration party in the lodge.

Dec. 31; tickets for the adult party (21+) are $50/person. Schweitzer Mountain Resort, 10000 Schweitzer Mountain Rd., Sandpoint, Idaho. schweitzer.com (208-263-9555)

FREE SKI SCHOOL KICKOFF Lookout Pass’ annual program kicks off, offering free lessons for ages 6-17 every Saturday morning, Jan. 9 through March 12. Beginners’ lessons start at 10 am, with intermediate and advanced sessions to follow at 11:30 am each weekend. Lookout Pass, I-90 Exit 0 at Mullan, Idaho. skilookout.com (208-744-1301)

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CAMERA READY

DECEMBER 2015 SNOWLANDER 13

WINTER EVENTS WINTER TRAILS DAY This annual event encourages children and adults to try cross-country skiing and/or snowshoeing. Schweitzer offers free trail access to the snowshoe and Nordic ski trails, with hosted hikes throughout the day and free beginner lessons and rentals. Jan. 9. Free.

Schweitzer Mountain Resort, 10000 Schweitzer Mountain Rd., Sandpoint, Idaho. schweitzer.com (208-255-3081) AVALANCHE AWARENESS & COMPANION RESCUE WORKSHOP A Saturday session for mountain enthusiasts who are looking to tour on their own by venturing out of ski area boundaries. The next day, learn skills to operate a rescue beacon and probe the snow to determine an avalanche victim’s location (this class is also offered again on Feb. 6). Bring your gear to the lift. Jan. 9 and 10, at 9 am. Mission Ridge Resort, 7500 Mission Ridge Rd., Wenatchee, Wash. missionridge.com/events NORTHERN LIGHTS Always an annual favorite, the event starts with a torchlight parade down the Jam Session run, and a spectacular fireworks show in the village, followed by live music and an afterparty at Taps.

Jan. 16, starting at 6 pm. Schweitzer Mountain Resort, 10000 Schweitzer Mountain Rd., Sandpoint, Idaho. schweitzer.com (208-263-9555) LOOKOUT WINTER CARNIVAL The mountain’s annual celebration includes Family Fun Day events and a traditional favorite, the Pacific Northwest National Wife Carrying Contest. Jan. 17. Lookout Pass, I-90 Exit 0 at Mullan, Idaho. skilookout.com (208-744-1301)

THE NEW POWER IN TOURING Unlike previous PinTech bindings, classic tourers will appreciate the added fun that the KINGPIN brings to the descent.

SMOKIN’ ACES SLOPESTYLE This freestyle tour heads back to Sandpoint this year, offering the chance to watch skilled riders perform their best tricks. No membership fees required if you want to compete in the events. Jan. 23. Schweitzer Mountain Resort, 10000 Schweitzer Mountain Rd., Sandpoint, Idaho. Details at facebook.com/smokingacesfreestyle and schweitzer.com (208-263-9555) KOKANEE SNOW DREAMS FESTIVAL The annual fest, known as the best deck party in Canada, offers good times to all after a day on the slopes.

Jan. 23; details TBA. Fernie Alpine Resort, 5339 Fernie Ski Hill Rd., Fernie, B.C. skifernie.com (250-423-4655)

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BAVARIAN BREWS, BRATS & MUSIC FEST Another annual celebration at Lookout. As the name implies, there’ll be tasty brats on the grill and fresh local brews to enjoy while listening to live Bavarian music. Also that day, the mountain hosts the annual Media Cup Team Races. Jan. 24. Lookout Pass, I-90 Exit 0 at Mullan, Idaho. skilookout. com (208-744-1301) ROSSLAND WINTER CARNIVAL Since 1898 (that’s 118 years ago!) this celebration has honored the mountain’s history, going all the way back to when Norwegian miner Olaus Jeldness invited friends to the top of the mountain for a “tea party.”

Events include family activities, live

music, races, a rail jam, beer gardens and much more. Events from Jan. 28-31. Rossland, B.C. Details at rosslandwintercarnival.com

FEBRUARY KAN JAM FREESTYLE FESTIVAL The mountain hosts its ninth annual freestyle festival, with events in slopestyle, big air and — of course — the rail jam. New to 2016, the festival spans five Saturdays throughout the month, on Feb. 6, 13, 20 and 27. See site for full details/schedule. $15/ event and for spectator admission. Mt. Spokane Ski & Snowboard Park, 29500 N. Mt. Spokane Park Dr. mtspokane. com (238-2220) COLLEGE DAZE All students with a valid ID get discounts on just about everything during this annual weekend event, including lift tickets, lodging, food, drinks and more. Feb. 6-7. Schweitzer Mountain Resort, 10000 Schweitzer Mountain Rd., Sandpoint, Idaho. schweitzer.com (208-263-9555) SANDPOINT WINTER CARNIVAL This annual 10-day celebration of all things winter is back for its 43rd year, with all the familiar favorites, including dining specials at local restaurants, skijoring, Schweitzer’s SnowSchool, sleigh rides, the Parade of Lights, the K9 Keg Pull and much more. Events run Feb. 12-21, and take place around Sandpoint, Idaho and Schweitzer Mountain Resort. Details at sandpointwintercarnival.com PRESIDENTS’ WEEKEND Events during the long weekend include family activities at the Village, night skiing and a spectacular laser lights show. Feb. 13-15. Schweitzer Mountain Resort, 10000 Schweitzer Mountain Rd., Sandpoint, Idaho. schweitzer.com (208-263-9555) MARDI GRAS FESTIVAL Events throughout the weekend and live music in the lodge. Feb. 13-14.

Lookout Pass, I-90 Exit 0 at Mullan, Idaho. skilookout.com (208-744-1301) VALENTINE’S DAY SPEED DATING Pick up a pass to this fun event at the bottom of Chair 3, and take the five-minute ride up the slopes while getting to know someone new. Later that evening, Noah’s Canteen offers a romantic dinner. Feb. 14. Silver Mountain Resort, 610 Bunker Ave., Kellogg, Idaho. silvermt.com (866344-2675) COLLEGE UP-DOWN RACE North Idaho College hosts a race to the top of the mountain and down, offering the coveted title of first place and more perks TBA. Feb. 21. Lookout Pass, I-90 Exit 0 at Mullan, Idaho. skilookout.com (208-744-1301) 

MORE EVENTS Visit Inlander.com for complete listings of local events.

THE LAST RUN

and overly competitive, we decide to out-ski and/or out-drink them.

We’ve have been drinking at this elevation a lot longer than they have, so we might win that battle — until the morning. We might win both of them, as we’ve known the mountain longer as well. But there’s one guarantee: Everything will hurt in the morning. The 20-somethings will pop right up and be ready for the next day’s challenge.

MYSTERY INJURIES

As the aging skier or boarder gets older, when they wake up there’s too often a mystery pain plaguing some random location. Once one ache goes away, it’s replaced with a new mystery injury; you’ll find Tylenol or Advil PM on many a nightstand.

GIVING IN

OLD MAN WINTER The woes of the aging skier and snowboarder BY JEN FORSYTH Eventually, we all feel it in our bones.

ALLEN DUFFY ILLUSTRATION

I

t’s inevitable. If you’re a skier or snowboarder, you enter this lifestyle like many of us do — with passion and the longing to eventually be one of those mountain riders sporting the 80+ patch, announcing to everyone that you’re 80 or older, and most likely getting more days in per year than they are. Here are some of the signs that you’re an aging skier or snowboarder.

DENIAL

On a ski trip with the ex, I literally saw him crawl out of bed in the morning, holding onto the wall and making his way to the bathroom.

Two hours later? He’s flying down a cat track, sitting on the tail of his skis, tucking through our friends’ legs. And totally forgetting that this behavior makes his mornings so painful.

REALIZING WE’RE NOT 20 ANYMORE

Most of us remember being in our 20s, on a ski vacation or just arriving to live the mountaintown dream. As the years pass, we feel a little like Peter Pan — we never get old. Until we meet the new 20-something, a new East Coast transplant here to live that mountain-town lifestyle. Intrigued

One way to tell an aging backcountry skier is the purchase of a snowmobile. As they get older, they’re often more able to afford these types of toys. But maybe they’ve just fully realized that the easy way is now the best way.

As a self-proclaimed ski bum in my 20-somethings, it seemed like it would be forever before that dreaded day would come where I’d say, “This is a common injury among aging athletes.” Knock on wood, I’ve been fortunate enough to not have any serious injuries, specifically anything related to age.

Except maybe for a hangover. 

Toyota Drivers get a FREE LIFT TICKET* Mark your calendar!

Jan. 29 Schweitzer Feb. 5 Silver Mt Feb. 12 Lookout Pass Feb. 19 Mt Spokane Feb. 26 49º North

2016

*One Lift Ticket awarded to the driver of every Toyota on each mountain’s designated FreeSki Friday.

DECEMBER 2015 SNOWLANDER 15

16 SNOWLANDER DECEMBER 2015

Barbara Parker sews a Spokane Chiefs jersey at her home studio. QUINN WESTERN PHOTO

Stitching Season Meet the woman who puts the finishing touches on your favorite local teams’ jerseys

B

arbara Parker sits in a spare bedroom in her North Spokane home, stitching the numbers on a Washington State football jersey while watching the team play on television.

“You see your stuff on TV and think ‘That’s cool,’” she says with a laugh. There are rolls of fabric leaning against the wall, boxes of fabric letters and numbers, an army of colorful threads, and jerseys hanging, waiting to be next under the lamp

BY QUINN WESTERN by the sewing machine.

The Cougars. The Zags. The Chiefs. The Eagles. Parker often sees the uniforms she prepares on television. Then there are the fans, the Little League teams, Hoopfest orders and requests from as far away as Massachusetts and Alaska.

Parker will sometimes have 600 jerseys to process in two weeks. She sews on letters, numbers, patches, and just about anything you want

on the jersey, including the the Sun Bowl patches that we’ll see on national television the day after Christmas when the Cougars face Miami in El Paso, Texas.

“It’s been a blast,” she says. “It’s not stressful for me.”

Her mother taught her to sew when she was 10 years old. Parker, who is 6 feet tall, had to start ...continued on next page

DECEMBER 17, 2015 INLANDER 29

CULTURE | SPORTS

Barbara Parker has done stiching on jerseys for most of the local college sports teams.

QUINN WESTERN PHOTO

“STITCHING SEASON,” CONTINUED... making her own clothes because of her height and the lack of store-bought options. She went to Oregon State University to compete in track and field; she hasn’t gotten the call to do the Beavers’ jerseys just yet, but her orange lanyard sits proudly on her desk. Once a social worker and a manager at Joanne’s Fabrics, she now happily works for herself.

Her business took off in 2008, when the Spokane Chiefs went to the Memorial Cup. She says that fans still ask for Tyler Johnson jerseys; he’s a former Chiefs star who now plays for the NHL’s Tampa Bay Lightning. She is working on six of them right now.

“Spokane’s fans are pretty dang loyal,” Parker says.

The work always keeps her on her toes — or fingertips — as teams trade players, need jerseys fixed, or require that special competition patches be sewn on.

“You don’t know who your next client is going to be,” Parker says. “I don’t know what work I’ll have in two weeks.”

Sometimes the Chiefs will trade a player, or a visiting team will have a new player arriving that day; she can have a name and number ready and on the jersey in under an hour.

While the jerseys themselves are made by big companies, like Nike and CCM, the Chiefs try

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to do everything else local, Parker says. Someone local paints the helmets, another person puts the logo on the pants.

If a team expects to go to the postseason, she is put on alert to be ready to turn around jerseys quickly. Parker remembers how hectic it was preparing for Eastern Washington University’s football team to go to the national championship game in 2010.

“It takes more than 10 minutes,” she says, chuckling.

She says that there were easily 150 patches for EWU, and expects the same in getting the Cougars ready for the Sun Bowl. It’s not just players who sport the Sun Bowl patches, but also the coaches and anyone else traveling with the team, making for a huge undertaking.

On top of her work for WSU, Parker also is getting crushed by Christmas orders from those who have big fans on their shopping list. But Parker herself doesn’t own a single jersey.

“It’s like if you work at Baskin-Robbins, you don’t really eat the ice cream,” she says.

She’s definitely still a sports fan. Parker will probably find herself sitting in her spare bedroom watching the Sun Bowl, finding some satisfaction in seeing her handiwork on the field. It will be a rare moment of downtime; baseball season is just around the corner. 

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CULTURE | DIGEST

TV MARVEL’S JESSICA JONES I

n this era of one blockbuster superhero movie after another, the true gems translating comic-book worlds from page to screen are not in theaters. Dark and brooding (and also not relying heavily on computer-generated special effects; so refreshing!), the latest original web series from Netflix — Marvel’s Daredevil and Jessica Jones — are shining examples of how to do superhero stories right. Even better, you don’t have to be a Marvel universe expert or even a casual fan of comic books to enjoy them.

Released in full with 13 episodes on Nov. 20, Jessica Jones is the second installment in Netflix’s planned miniseries based on four characters from Marvel’s Defenders series. This summer, the first solo series depicting the troubled, blind vigilante Matt Murdock — aka Daredevil, a lawyer by day and crimefighter by night — was released to much critical acclaim. Up next is Luke Cage’s solo story, followed by Iron Fist. The four will eventually come together in a grand-finale Defenders series yet to be announced.

So far, Daredevil and Jessica Jones are both incredibly gloomy and gruesome. Each leading hero is caught up in complex internal struggles regarding whether it’s wiser to turn a blind eye to unstoppable evil, or to step up to the challenge of bettering the world, even if it means making some questionable choices along the way. Typical superhero conflicts, yes, but told through masterful character development and acting.

Jessica, played as a pessimistic, sarcastic badass by Krysten Ritter, is running a private investigation firm out of her New York City apartment while she attempts to mask past trauma with lots and lots of whiskey. But Jones’ haunting memories are reignited when their source, the evil mind-controller Kilgrave (ominously played by David Tennant, of Dr. Who fame), returns from the supposed dead, wreaking emotional havoc on Jessica with his nonchalant disposal of victim after victim. Determined to put an end to Kilgrave’s reactionless murders of innocents — his power allows him to verbally command people to do anything he wants,

Krysten Ritter as Jessica Jones, a new face in the Marvel Universe. from slitting their own throats to jumping off skyscrapers — Jessica realizes that she is the only one who can stop his bloody tirade (a really messed-up attempt on Kilgrave’s part to win her affections).

With an original plot that hasn’t been overdone, and less tropey characters than most shows out there, Jessica Jones is a superhero series about coping with life-changing tragedy and, in the aftermath, finding the willpower to face your worst fears.

Rather than sending this message with overdone clichés, stereotypes and sappy self-reflection, Netflix’s series, created by Melissa Rosenberg, showcases unlikely relationships, diversity of casting, and strong-willed, smart female characters. Jessica may have superpowers, but she’s just as flawed as any of us.

— CHEY SCOTT

SPORTS THE SHOCK ARE NOW THE… EMPIRE After weeks of speculation among the region’s arena football fans, the new moniker for the team formerly known as the Spokane Shock was released last week — they’re now THE SPOKANE EMPIRE. No, there’s no Darth Vader connection; the name, which had to be changed when the franchise left the Arena Football League for the Indoor Football league after this past season, references both the regional designation of the Inland Empire as well as the Spokane & Inland Empire Railroad. “We wanted to find a name that was unique and that also possessed geographical or historical ties to our region,” said Ryan Eucker, the team’s director of operations. The logo was designed by Brian Gundell, who’s done work for the University of Washington, the Miami Dolphins and Arizona Diamondbacks, among other sports organizations.

FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION

BY MITCH RYALS

PODCAST For decades, Esquire magazine has published some of the most influential pieces of nonfiction writing. Along with a newly launched archive of every article in every issue, comes a new podcast called ESQUIRE CLASSICS where host David Brancaccio, of Marketplace Morning Report, talks with writers and critics of some of the magazine’s most inspiring pieces. In the first episode, Tom Junod talks about his iconic article “The Falling Man,” and his quest to find the identity of the man whose leap from the World Trade Center on 9/11 was captured by a photographer. Other installments feature Gay Talese’s “Frank Sinatra Has a Cold,” written without ever interviewing Sinatra himself, Norman Mailer’s 1960 profile of JFK, “Superman Comes to the Supermarket,” and Nora Ephron’s “A Few Words About Breasts.”

COFFEE Most days around 3 pm, I think very seriously of laying down for a quick nap on the yellow couch down the hall from my desk. The afternoon slump is an occupational hazard of being a reporter, and another cup of coffee (or two) typically does the trick. Well, now the folks at Nestlé are trying to save me the trouble with research into TIME-RELEASED CAFFEINE. Studies into “biological capsules” that release molecules periodically could mean I’ll be buzzing on caffeine all day after just one cup in the morning. The research focuses on the same process used to release medicine in some drugs. Coffee with time-released caffeine is not on the shelves yet, but it’s good to see that they’re thinking about it.

WEED Weed is legal, but the stoner stigma (and smell) can still follow you around. It was only a matter of time before pot accessories that project a more sophisticated smoker cropped up. A couple of women from New York think they’ve found the answer. Their company, ANNABÍS, now sells bags designed to hold all your marijuana accessories — rolling papers, mints, gum, a lighter, eye drops — in addition to the skunky bud, without letting everyone else around you know. The bags are made of Italian leather and use “Odor-Loc technology,” with layers of resin film used in the food, medical and electronics industries, to block out the smell. They range in price from $120 to $295. n

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The Five-Year Plan For Dry Fly Distilling, making something not everyone can get is part of the fun

BY MIKE BOOKEY

O

n a cold morning in late November, there was a line beginning in front of a building just off Trent Avenue in Spokane’s Logan neighborhood. When the doors finally opened hours later, those who’d weathered the elements weren’t treated to Gonzaga basketball tickets or a viewing of the new Star Wars movie, but rather a bottle of whiskey that only a few people in the world would get their hands on.

This is the sort of fanbase that Dry Fly Distilling has cultivated since they began making spirits in 2007. When they announced that after five years their new, ultra-limited, Irish-style whiskey (although they can’t call it that, given that it’s made in the U.S.) was finally in the bottle, those fans responded. By the end of the day, most of the 600 bottles of O’Danagher’s Single Barrel “Hibernian” Whiskey had been swooped up, either at the distillery itself or at Total Wine and More.

Dry Fly partners Don Poffenroth and Kent Fleischmann, both of whom were marketing executives before establishing one of the Northwest’s most renowned craft distilleries, still wanted to let people know about the whiskey. It’s almost cruel to tempt people like this.

“If you missed batch one, that’s a tough break because there’s only one batch one, but there will be another batch coming out soon,” says Fleischmann. “We’ve made this and waited years for

YOUNG KWAK PHOTO

it. You had your chance to get in line and if you didn’t, we’re going to tease you.”

Fear not, though: Dry Fly plans to release another 350 or so bottles in March in time for St. Patrick’s Day. The story behind O’Danagher’s only sweetens its appeal.

The triple-distilled creation is the brainchild of Tim Danaher, who christened the liquor with his family’s original name when they came to the U.S. from Ireland in the 1840s. Danaher has been a farmer in Colfax for most of his life, raising wheat, barley, legumes and other crops, and in 2008 he signed up for Dry Fly’s Consultation Program.

He sucked up all the knowledge he could from the weeklong workshop that has served as a jumping-off point for distilleries around the country. But that wasn’t enough. When he wasn’t farming, he was hanging around the distillery.

“I took this class and I kept coming back and bugging these guys. They finally said, ‘What do you want to do?’ I said I wanted to make whiskey,” says Danaher.

Specifically, he wanted to make something resembling an Irish whiskey, and wanted to use his own wheat and barley to do it.

Eventually, Dry Fly signed him on as the supervising distiller on

At The Davenport Grand

Tim Danaher graduated from Dry Fly’s distilling school before teaming with the distillery on his single-barrel O’Danagher’s Whiskey. YOUNG KWAK PHOTO O’Danagher’s. Since then, he’s been waiting for his baby to hit five years old.

“It’s like having a child. You get to find out really fast if you’ve done a good job with that child,” says Danaher, who was more than pleased with the smooth final product. “It’s a dream come true. [Dry Fly] has been so generous and so patient.”

For the distillery, the partnership has resulted in one of their most sought-after products.

“He made us wait five fricking years to taste it, which was annoying as hell, but that’s the kind of thing that we wanted and needed from Tim. That’s why he’s the supervising distiller, because he has the patience and knows what we need to do to make a superior product,” says Fleischmann.

As a company that’s now distributing nationally and to 20 countries, O’Danagher’s represents just a sliver of what Dry Fly is doing. Their vodka and gin continue to be among the best-selling craft spirits in the Northwest, and their Washington Wheat whiskey and bourbon were recently written up in Men’s Journal in a piece about the surge in whiskeys coming out of the region. Currently, their barrel storage is big enough to take up a 15,000-square-foot warehouse.

Fleischmann says that projects like O’Danagher’s are a way to keep Dry Fly innovative while also giving their devoted followers a treat here and there. In about 18 months, Danaher’s next creation, a Scottish-style whiskey, should be ready for the bottle.

Dry Fly also has whiskey awaiting the 10-year mark, which Fleischmann says will be a landmark release for the company when it’s finally ready for the bottle.

“We’re very grateful for the fans that we have,” says Fleischmann. “We know that our fans like to get a glimpse of a product that isn’t always readily available. There’s fun in that.” 

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DECEMBER 17, 2015 INLANDER 33

SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION

Holiday Pulse SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION

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PARKING RANGERS

The city’s parking enforcement staff also serve as parking ambassadors, and they can give you directions and answer your questions related to parking.

JUST FOR KIDS

Kids 4-12 can find nice, affordable gifts at Santa Express.

Proceeds from this annual fundraiser benefit the Vanessa Behan Crisis Nursery. Santa Express is located in the skywalk level of the Crescent Court, above MOD Pizza, and is open seven days a week, Nov. 23 through Dec. 23. Call 989-621-0902

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hink of SARANAC COMMONS (19 W. Main • saranaccommons.org) as the combination of all the best features of a mall and a market. Here you can conveniently shop for locally produced artisanal gifts for different family members and friends, recharge with a coffee, then stock up on food and beverage essentials for holiday entertaining. “The Commons is a really unique and inviting indoor market,” says Dan Dvorak, owner of Black Label Brewing. “Every business adds a different experience to this beautifully restored old downtown building.

With Mediterranean food, craft coffee, delicious pastries and bread as well as craft handmade beer, we have something for everyone, including unique holiday gift ideas.”

At his BLACK LABEL BREWING CO. (blacklabelbrewing. com), you’ll find small-batch ales and lagers made with painstaking care from the highest-quality ingredients. “A lot of what goes into our beers, like our base malt, is certified organic, locally sourced or naturally grown,” Dvorak says. “We even go the extra mile and use some hops that we’ve grown ourselves, as well as honey harvested from our own beehives. We brew many different styles with something new constantly rotating.”

The Espresso Stout, made using cold-brewed Evans Brothers Espresso, is a popular favorite.

If you prefer your coffee neat, drop by CAFFÉ AFFOGATO (caffe-affogato.com), where they pride themselves on authen-

tic coffee preparation methods and aromatic wood-roasted beans from esteemed Northwest roasters like Caffé D’arte and Vivace. The signature sweet is what lends the café its name: a generous scoop of vanilla ice cream drowning (“affogato”) in hot espresso and sprinkled with melt-in-your-mouth chocolate shavings.

With a similar reverence for longstanding European culinary traditions, MEDITERRANO (medi-terrano.com) features exotic pita plates, rice bowls, tabouleh, gyros, soups, hummus and other dishes enlivened by distinctive Persian and Mediterranean spices. As suitable for a quiet dinner as an informal lunch, its veggie lasagna and lamb burger get high customer marks, as does the restaurant’s service.

COMMON CRUMB (commoncrumb.com) also has received its fair share of praise, which is due in large part to the dedication of its staff, according to owner Kate Hansen: “To me, what makes Common Crumb unique is the team behind it — the fact that they are challenging themselves each day to think of new items to introduce, and perfect the ones that have already become guest favorites.” The upscale artisan bakery features delicious French pastries, sandwiches, chocolates, confectionary and breads made using time-honored techniques and wholesome ingredients. The delicately glazed challah and the éclairs are just two of many mouthwatering temptations. “We have a little of every type of treat in our small shop: savory lunch items and pastries, candy, bread, whole cakes, and don’t forget about the macarons,” says Hansen. “Whatever a guest is in for, we love that their experience is even more enhanced by the offerings of the other businesses in the Saranac Commons.”

JAN, THE TOY LADY, LOVES FAMILY GAME NIGHTS:

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audience sing-along and a visit from Santa. Tickets for youth, ages 17 and under, are half price ($14$31). Dec. 19 at 8 pm and Dec. 20 at 2 pm. $28-$62.

Martin Woldson Theater at The Fox, 1001 W. Sprague. spokanesymphony.org (624-1200)

First Night

Holiday Events CAMPBELL HOUSE HOLIDAYS Dec. 19-Jan. 2 | The historic mansion at the MAC is decorated for Christmas and open for visitors to explore at their own pace (no formal tours). Also includes an activity, craft and four living history interpreters on site. Open on Dec. 19-20, 23-24, 26-27, 30-31 and Jan. 1-2, from 12-4 pm (until 3 pm on Dec. 24). $5-$10 museum admission. The MAC, 2316 W. First Ave. northwestmuseum.org (456-3931) SPOKANE SYMPHONY HOLIDAY POPS Dec. 19-20 | The Symphony’s annual performance of festive music, including all the magical moments that make the Holiday Pops a family tradition, like the

IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE: A RADIO PLAY Dec. 24, at 6 pm | The perennial holiday classic comes to life on stage in a radio play format, a joint production of Friends Of the Bing and the Spokane Civic Theatre, featuring a cast of actors with the Civic. $15-$20. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague. bingcrosbytheater.com (227-7404)

FIRST NIGHT SPOKANE Dec. 31 | Spokane’s 15th annual New Year’s Eve festivities celebrate the performing and visual artists in our community. The evening’s performances, activities and arts events conclude with a fireworks show in Riverfront Park at midnight. Admission buttons on pre-sale for $15; $18/day of. Complete details at firstnightspokane.org

50+ 50

displays

million

2 Lights ,

admission is

v

FROZEN SING ALONG Jan. 2-3, at 2 pm | Kick off the new year with Friends Of the Bing and local, award-winning musician Nicole Lewis as Elsa, along with Olaf, Kristoff and friends at an interactive sing-along event and movie screening. $20/adults; $15/kids. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague. bingcrosbytheater.com (227-7404)

y

FREE

RIVERFRONT PARK 5PM NIGHTLY NOW ~ JANUARY 1

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Spa. Restaurants. Rooms. Retreat.

This holiday season, give the gift cards that nourish your mind, body and soul.

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The Historic, Tower, Lusso and Grand Hotels davenporthotel.com

Space Fans Why Star Wars: The Force Awakens matters (if only a little bit)

BY PAUL CONSTANT

M

y first experience with the Star Wars movies was an abbreviated one. The friend I brought to a re-release screening of the first film screamed and wet his pants as soon as Darth Vader marched on-screen for the first time. We had to leave the theater because he was sobbing so loudly, and I had to wait another interminable week until I could finally watch the movie in full. It was worth the wait. (I just Googled the pants-wetter; he’s now an evangelical Christian computer programmer who reviews Bibles on Amazon in his spare time.)

Like every other Nerd of a Certain Age, I was very much a Star Wars fan. I had the action figures and I ate the Pepperidge Farms Ewok cookies and I tried to be cool like Han Solo even though I was an obese 7-yearold with glasses so thick they could stop a bullet. But even then, my Star Wars fandom had limits. I tried and failed to get into the comics published by Marvel and Dark Horse, I could never finish one of the Star Wars novels, and I was too intimidated to try the ridiculously complex role-playing game.

Now that I’m an alleged grown-ass man, I don’t

36 INLANDER DECEMBER 17, 2015

own any Star Wars merchandise, aside from a single Boba Fett action figure I’ve had since I was a kid. I don’t argue about George Lucas’ digital remastering of the original films in online forums. The prequels were offensive on a filmmaking level, but they didn’t make me howl about anyone “raping my childhood.” My Star Wars fandom is in my past, a memory that’s been strip-mined of its sentimentality. I’m not an especially nostalgic person, so I’d written off the Star Wars chapter of my life entirely.

And yet I still bought an advance ticket for The Force Awakens. Not for opening night — cosplay ain’t my thing — but within five days of opening night. I’m not anxious about the movie, but I am excited for it. I love the new cast. Adam Driver and Oscar Isaac are among my favorite young actors. John Boyega positively nailed his debut role in Attack the Block. Lupita Nyong’o leaves me speechless more often than not. Director J.J. Abrams is more hit-or-miss: Super 8 and Star Trek Into Darkness were inexcusably bad, but the first Star Trek and Mission: Impossible 3 were lots of fun. The fact is, any movie with IMDb credits like this would get me

out to the multiplex.

But if I’m honest, this isn’t just any movie. The thing about The Force Awakens that won me over was the return of the original cast. Without Mark Hamill and Carrie Fisher and Harrison Ford, I’d almost certainly avoid those orgiastic opening-week crowds and take in a matinée a month or two after the film’s release.

It only occurs to me now that this is why I didn’t care about the Star Wars role-playing games or the expanded universe of the novels or comics as a kid, and it’s why I don’t care about all the spin-off and prequel movies coming our way now: Star Wars, to me, isn’t a “cinematic universe,” whatever that means. It’s a story — one single, solitary story — about a whiny kid and his shitty dad and a prickly princess and a space cowboy.

Everything else, from Jar Jar Binks to Grand Admiral Thrawn, is entirely besides the point. I’m excited to see if there’s anything left of that story to tell.

I’m pretty much expecting the answer will be no. But as long as the person next to me in the theater doesn’t piss himself, I’ll probably be fine either way.  arts@inlander.com

Season of Need

FILM | SHORTS

Don’t forget those organizations helping local families make ends meet

Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip

OPENING FILMS ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS: THE ROAD CHIP

Your favorite trio of high-octave critters is back for the latest installment of their enduring franchise. This time around, Alvin and the gang are out to stop Dave (the human played by a post-My Name Is Earl Jason Lee) from getting married and have to get all the way to Miami to accomplish that. (MB) Rated PG

CHI-RAQ

Spike Lee’s latest offering takes us to the rough streets of Chicago for, believe it or not, an adaptation of the ancient Greek play Lysistrata. Here, the women of Chicago go abstinent to stop the men in their communities from committing horrific acts of gun violence in an ongoing gang war. (MB) Rated R

HEART OF A DOG

Laurie Anderson directs this documentary about the death of her beloved dog and does so with a unique approach. Anderson is a well-known visual artist who employs her transcendent visuals to a mind-bending story that has been collecting fans the world over during its festival run. (MB) Not Rated

SISTERS

Amy Poehler plays Maura Ellis, who’s recently divorced and trying to take care of everyone in the family while Tina Fey is Kate Ellis, a single mom who can’t hold down a job. When their parents announce that they’re selling the house where the sisters grew up, they head home to clear out their old things. But instead of saying goodbye to their past, they opt to relive it in the form of a huge party with their old high school friends, only with a personality twist: Maura will get to be the wild thing, and Kate will have to stay sober and responsible. (SR) Rated R

STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS

If you are reading this, we assume you are just now learning of this film’s existence here on the 37th page of our venerable publication and not from the marketing you may have seen on a cereal box, soda can, bottle of brake fluid or tube of hemorrhoid cream in your household. The seventh installment of George Lucas’ iconic franchise is set to be the biggest yet, full of all the big sci-fi visuals we’d expect from new director J.J. Abrahams. As for the plot...umm, well, um, the pictures on this burger wrapper are a little vague on that end. (MB) Rated PG-13

NOW PLAYING CREED

Donny is an angry orphaned teen, rescued from the foster-care system by the widow (Phylicia Rashad) of boxing legend Apollo Creed from the Rocky series. She has learned that Donny is the illegitimate son of her late husband and has decided to take responsibility for him — and that unique backstory of a tough kid brought into a life of privilege gives Michael B. Jordan the opportunity for a terrific performance.

Donny then heads into the ring for a boxing career with help from his trainer, none other than Rocky himself (Sylvester Stallone, of course). (SR) Rated PG-13

THE GOOD DINOSAUR

The latest offering from Pixar is this computer-animated story that gives us an Earth that was never hit by the asteroid that knocked off the dinosaurs, and thus people and the mega lizards live together on the planet. When an Apatosaurus named Arlo is orphaned after his dad dies in an accident, he tries to make his way home and along the way befriends a boy named Spot.

(MB) Rated PG ...continued on next page

WHAT THEY DO: Serve as a vital safety net filling nutritional gaps for women and children in need while fostering dignity and respect, both in our restaurant and the community.

Your support of the Women & Children’s Free Restaurant and Community Kitchen could present a child with their first taste of broccoli, offer relief to a mother who wants healthy meals for her children, and create friendship and community for those who feel alone. Fill a tummy with food, and a heart with hope.

WHAT YOUR DONATIONS CAN DO: Nourish: nutritious, scratch-made meals are prepared & served with care.

Teach: promote physical and financial health.

Flourish: families thrive when they are nourished and encouraged.

Your resource for holiday giving Visit the Non-Profit Guide

Inlander.com/Give

Alzheimer’s Association-Inland NW Chapter American Red Cross-Spokane Because There Is Hope ‘Faye’s House’ Beyond Pink Big Brothers & Big Sisters of the INW Big Table Birthright of Coeur d’Alene Boys and Girls Club of Spokane Camp Fire USA Inland NW Council Cancer Care NW Catholic Charities Center For Justice Christ Clinic Community Cancer Fund Community Colleges Of Spokane Community Health Association Of Spokane C.O.P.S. Cutter Theatre Daybreak Youth Services Dishman Hills Conservancy East Central Community Center EWU Get Lit! Excelsior Youth Center First Tee of the Inland NW Friends of Manito Friends of the Centennial Trail Goodwill Graceson Housing Fdt. Greater Spokane Substance Abuse Council Guild School, The Habitat for Humanity Hearth Homes Hospice Of Spokane Hutton Settlement Inland NW Blood Center - INBC Inland NW Land Conservatory Krista Foundation for Global Citizenship Land Council Lutheran Community Services NW Mid City Concerns Mobius Kids Mobius Science Center Morning Star Foundation Multiple Sclerosis Soc. National Alliance on Mental Illness New Hope Recourse Center North Idaho College Foundation NW Autism Partnering for Progress Planned Parenthood Project Beauty Share Providence Sacred Heart Hospital Ronald McDonald House S.C.O.P.E. Salvation Army Second Harvest Food Bank Selkirk Conservation Alliance Spokane Arts Fund Spokane Civic Theatre SCRAPS Spokane Entertainers Guild Spokane Hope School Spokane Housing Ventures Spokane Lilac Festival Spokane Humane Society Spokane Neighborhood Action Partners (SNAP) Spokane Symphony Spokane Youth Symphony St. Joseph Family Center Susan G. Komen For the Cure Eastern WA Teen Closet Transitions U District Foundation Union Gospel Mission Volunteers of America WA Basset Rescue Wishing Star Women Helping Women Fund Women’s & Children’s Free Restaurant YFA Connections YMCA Young Life

DECEMBER 17, 2015 INLANDER 37

FILM | SHORTS

NOW PLAYING THE HUNGER GAMES: MOCKINGJAY — PART 2

In the last installment of the franchise, Katniss Everdeen (the amazing Jennifer Lawrence), doesn’t lead the rebels of District 13 in what everyone hopes will be a definitive assault on the Capitol. Instead, she’s bringing up the rear with the propaganda filmmaking team, making videos that will hopefully sway the hearts and minds of the Capitol citizens, who naturally aren’t on the rebels’ side. She’s going to take down President Snow, no matter what it takes.

(MJ) PG-13

IN THE HEART OF THE SEA

Ron Howard’s latest big screen effort takes us out into the Atlantic for the real story that inspired Moby Dick. The historical drama takes us to the southern Pacific Ocean where in 1820 the crew of the Essex battled with a massive sperm whale that — spoiler alert, in case you slept through your junior English class — sinks the whaling vessel. We know about that, but the film also tells of the surviving whalers struggle to stay alive at sea after the Essex was gone. Starring Chris Hemsworth, Benjamin Walker and Cillian Murphy. (MB) Rated PG-13

KRAMPUS

Each Christmas, good children everywhere get the gift of their dreams in triumph. But what do the bad children get? No, not coal — Krampus. When the family Christmas party goes sour, Tom (Adam Scott) and his family must fend for their lives after Max (Emjay Anthony) destroys his letter to Santa Claus in anger, summoning the ancient evil spirit of Krampus. Though David Koechner supports Scott in maintaining the laughs, you’ll definitely want to leave the Santa-believers at home for this one, as Krampus relentlessly shocks with terrifying images of your most beloved Christmas characters.

(MC) Rated PG-13

LEGEND

: A PAIR OF TICKETS TO

IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE Dec. 24th

ENTER HERE: INLANDER.COM/SPOKANE/FREESTUFF

38 INLANDER DECEMBER 17, 2015

As both of the identical Kray twins, Tom Hardy is a wonder, carrying his body, comporting his face, and subtly shifting his voice in ways that never leave the viewer in any doubt as to which brother he is embodying at any given moment (though the eyeglasses that Ron wears help, too). The Krays are violent, narcissistic men with no thought for anyone but themselves (except, perhaps, the mother who worships them) as they rule the criminal underworld of London’s East End in the 1960s. (MJ) Rated R

MEET THE PATELS

Actor Ravi Patel was nearing 30 and still single when he decided to let his family help find him a wife in the traditional Indian fashion. So, he took a camera along and documented the process in this comedic documentary about love, culture and family. At Magic

CRITICS’ SCORECARD THE NEW YORK INLANDER TIMES

VARIETY

(LOS ANGELES)

METACRITIC.COM (OUT OF 100)

Room

86

Sisters

67

Suffragette

67

The Good Dinosaur

66

HG: Mockingjay 2

65

Trumbo

60 55

The 33 DON’T MISS IT

WORTH $10

Lantern (MB) Rated PG

MY ALL AMERICAN

My All American chronicles the journey of Freddie Steinmark, an undersized defensive back who played his way onto the University of Texas football team in 1969. Already considered an underdog, Freddie was diagnosed with bone cancer above his knee following his legendary effort against the University of Arkansas in what was known the “Game of the Century.” Steinmark’s fight with cancer spurred the passing of the National Cancer Act of 1971, contributing greatly to the beginning of the modern fight against cancer. (MC) Rated PG

ROOM

Jack lives with his mom (Brie Larson) in Room (no “the”), the only place on earth the 5-year-old has ever known.

Room is a dingy toolshed supplied with nothing more than life’s essentials (a single bed where they both sleep, a toilet, dilapidated fridge, ancient TV and unreachable skylight) where Jack and Ma go through their daily regimen of washing, exercising, reading, eating, etc. On Jack’s fifth birthday, his mom decides to tell her son about the outside world… and hope for a life outside of Room. (MB) Rated R

THE SECRET IN THEIR EYES

Julia Roberts reminds us why she is one of the most badass women in Hollywood as Jess, an FBI investigator who finds her daughter’s dead body while answering a call. Thirteen years after the murder, with the help of her old partner Ray (Chiwetel Ejiofor) and their DA supervisor Claire (Nicole Kidman), the three sleuths find a lead that may finally solve the case. Suspense abounds throughout The Secret in Their Eyes, as Jess will go to any lengths to find the man who killed her daughter — and serve up the justice that her daughter deserves. (MC) Rated PG-13

SPOTLIGHT

In 2001, the Boston Globe editor-inchief Marty Baron (Liev Schreiber) asked the paper’s “Spotlight” investigative news team — Walter “Robby” Robinson (Michael Keaton), Mike Rezendes (Mark Ruffalo), Sacha Pfeiffer (Rachel McAdams) and Matt Carroll (Brian d’Arcy James) — to turn their attention to the case of a Catholic priest

WATCH IT AT HOME

SKIP IT

accused of sexually abusing several children. And as they begin digging — at first reluctantly — into the case, they discover that the Catholic Archdiocese of Boston might be engaging on a massive scale in hushing up cases of abusive priests. (SR) Rated R

SUFFRAGETTE

Carey Mulligan stars as Maud Watts, a Londoner who was born and raised in a laundry, in 1912 London as the fight for women’s right began to take hold. As a group of women campaign for voting privileges in a movement led by Emmeline Pankhurst (Meryl Streep), a detective tries to undermine and dismantle their efforts. (PC) Rated PG-13

THEEB

Theeb (played by newcomer Jacir Eid) is a young Bedouin boy who is forced to fend for himself after he jumps camp to follow his beloved older brother Hussein (Hussein Salameh) on a mission to guide a British army officer (Jack Fox) to a long-abandoned well. Set in 1916, this Jordanian film from director Naji Abu Nowar is the country’s official entry into the upcoming Academy Awards. At Magic Lantern. (MS) Not Rated

THE 33

It’s based on the real-life incident in which 33 workers at a gold-and-copper mine in Chile’s Atacama Desert were trapped after a massive rock fell and blocked the only exit, inspiring rescue efforts that drew international attention. The improbable circumstances behind their (historical spoiler alert) survival is a natural for cinematic treatment, one that could be inspirational both as an example of resilient faith and as a case study in institutional determination. (SR) Rated PG-13

TRUMBO

A celebrated screenwriter (Kitty Foyle, Thirty Seconds Over Tokyo) and novelist (Johnny Got His Gun) when the Red Scare machine revved up, Dalton Trumbo was one of the more prominent Hollywood players to be called to appear before the House Un-American Activities Committee in 1947 to discuss his perfectly legal involvement in the Communist Party. Here, he’s played brilliantly by Bryan Cranston in a story that can be overly theatrical at times.

(KJ) Rated R 

FILM | REVIEW

THE MAGIC LANTERN

FRI DEC 18TH - THU DEC 24TH HEART OF A DOG (75 MIN) Fri/Sat: 3:15, 6:30, Sun-Thu: 4:30 MEET THE PATELS (82 MIN) Fri/Sat: 8:00, Sun-Thu: 2:45 THEEB (96 MIN) Fri/Sat: 4:45, Sun-Thu: 1:00 ROOM (114 MIN) Fri/Sat: 8:30, Sun-Thu: 3:45 TRUMBO (124 MIN)

Fri/Sat: 3:30, Sun: 11:00 (am), Mon-Wed: 1:15

CHI-RAQ (118 MIN)

Fri/Sat: 6:00, Sun: 1:15, Mon-Wed: 6:00, Thu: 1:30

SUFFRAGETTE (104 MIN)

Fri/Sat: 1:15

*last weekend!

25 W Main Ave • 509-209-2383 • All Shows $8 www.magiclanternspokane.com

FOoD & dRINK • RECorDS • VINTAGE

Role Reversal

Poehler + Fey = Laughs

Sisters puts the perfect Fey/Poehler pair in an imperfect setup

BY SCOTT RENSHAW

I

GIFTS FOR THE NAUGHTY & THE NICE!

f modern film history introduced the notion But instead of saying goodbye to their past, they of the “high-concept” movie — one where opt to relive it in the form of a huge party with you can sell it to an audience based on a their old high school friends, only with a personone-sentence plot summary — we might also need ality twist: Maura will get to be the wild thing, a name for a concept that’s actually higher than and Kate will have to stay sober and responsible. high-concept. That’s when a movie is effectively It’s a terrific premise, rich with the possibilidefined by its title and the casting of the lead ties of exploring how people mythologize the actors — like “Chris Rock is Head of State,” or joys, conflicts and disappointments of adoles“Dwayne Johnson is the Tooth Fairy.” It’s marketcence, and sometimes find it hard to break free ing distilled to its purest form, understanding that from them. Sisters occasionally pokes its nose into moviegoers want to see the performthat territory, partly through supSISTERS ers they like. porting characters like a classmate Rated R Sisters on some level feels like a (Maya Rudolph) who can’t shake Directed by Jason Moore continuation of that tradition, since her high-school rivalry with Kate, Starring Amy Poehler, Tina Fey, “Tina Fey and Amy Poehler are and another (Bobby Moynihan) Ike Barinholtz Sisters” has been enough to make who still tries way too hard to be fans of the ex-Saturday Night Live the comedian. cast mates giddy at the prospect of But Pell was also a longtime seeing them work together, and work through a writer for Saturday Night Live, and Sisters often dramatized sibling rivalry. feels like a series of sketches rather than a coheIt should be to the credit of everyone insive movie. volved that Sisters screenwriter Paula Pell flips the There’s also that little matter of the characscript by making Fey the together-if-high-strung ters Poehler and Fey are playing, which seems sibling and Poehler the inveterate screw-up. like a clever notion on the surface. The problem Poehler plays Maura Ellis, recently divorced but is that Poehler is a far more versatile actor than still the one who checks in regularly with her Fey, able to be thoroughly convincing both as the parents (Dianne Wiest and James Brolin) and control freak and the just-plain-freak. While the tries to take care of everyone; Fey is Kate Ellis, chemistry between Poehler and Fey is too delia single mom who can’t hold down a job. When cious not to provide some fun moments, they’re their parents announce that they’re selling the not interchangeable parts in their comedic partOrlando, Florida, house where the sisters grew nership. When the concept is high, sometimes up, they head home to clear out their old things. the expectations are, too. n

NOW SERVING BRUNCH

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10117 W State Rt 2 • 509-232-0444

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DECEMBER 17, 2015 INLANDER 39

LOCAL SCENE

Holiday Resonance Annoying Christmas music goes hand in hand with the season, but what does it take to write fresh songs — and do we even need something new?

BY LAURA JOHNSON

C

ary Fly couldn’t afford presents that year — at least not the kind that came wrapped under the tree. It was the late ’80s and he was living in a sizable South Hill house with a bunch of bandmates. Funds were so anemic they considered chopping up the furniture for firewood to keep warm.

“Life supplies you with everything you need to write a good song,” says Fly, a prolific local songwriter who’s penned thousands of tunes. That year, a Christmas song practically wrote itself.

“I have no gifts to give them this year / But I can still reach out and wish them all good Christmas cheer,” begin the lyrics of the joyous “Merry Christmas.” The song has since become a crowd favorite and is requested at Fly’s December shows year after year. This Saturday, Fly has been invited to sing the tune at Sammy Eubanks’ annual Blues Christmas show at the Knitting Factory.

Of course, people still crave the traditional songs every holiday season. Old standards (sacred and secular alike), such as “Silent Night” and “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas,” are covered continually. They’re piped in at malls and grocery stores to get us in the mood to shop, shop, shop.

“White Christmas,” the best-selling single of any genre, according to Guinness World Records,

40 INLANDER DECEMBER 17, 2015

Sick of all the same old Christmas music? There are plenty of local musicians writing new holiday tunes.

ALISSIA BLACKWOOD ILLUSTRATION

holds a special significance to Spokane thanks to hometown crooner Bing Crosby. Seemingly, Spokane should be especially gaga for Christmas music. But Fr. Kevin Waters, director of the music composition program at Gonzaga University, Crosby’s old stomping ground, admits that Christmas music can be overwhelming.

“I’m annoyed all of the time by [Christmas music]. It’s overkill,” Waters says with a laugh.

“Familiarity really does build contempt. It’s one of the reasons I say let’s get new music out there and retire some of these things we hear all of the time.

The last thing we want to say is ‘enough is enough,’ even if it may seem like we’re at a saturation point.”

With multiple degrees in

THIS WEEKEND’S HOLIDAY SHOWS Dec. 18-20: The Nightmare Before Christmas series at Pinnacle Northwest Dec. 19: Holiday Round No. 14 feat. The Banner Days, Caroline Fowler and more at the Bartlett Dec. 19: A Blues Christmas show with Sammy Eubanks at Knitting Factory philosophy, theology and music composition, the 82-year-old Jesuit priest spent his career writing thought-provoking music — he’s even written and arranged Christmas hymns for choir with more obscure accompaniment like flute and cello, rather than piano or organ.

Technically, he says, Christmas music relies on word choice and rhyme scheme. If the lyrics don’t add something new, it’s not a worthwhile idea. There’s a reason why the Backstreet Boys’ “Christmas Time” has barely been played since its 1996 release — it’s way too bland.

“Haven’t we said enough about bringing peace to the world in these songs?” asks Waters, who has taught at Gonzaga for more than 30 years. “Let’s find a new way of addressing the world’s problems. Let’s not

just say the same thing over and over. As long as there’s poetry and music, there’s always space for the new. Culture is always renewing itself.”

Other local musicians are writing new Christmas tunes as well, finding those creative hooks and angles on which to hang their keyword-filled songs (i.e., Santa, reindeer, cheer, holly, snow).

Miles Martin, whose angsty Spokane three-piece Friends of Mine recently wrote “I Just Want Stuff,” make no apologies for wanting “A Playboy subscription / So I can see girls in the buff,” (too bad for them; starting next year, that magazine will no longer feature nude women in its print edition).

The tune, featured on the Bartlett Christmas — Vol. #2 album, is a wonderful, satirical take on the cheesiness of most Christmas songs. It’s supposed to make listeners smile, but also tune into the small part of ourselves that yearns for our own version of a Red Ryder Carbine Action 200shot Range Model air rifle.

Similarly, “Bah Humbug,” by local pop-punk act 37 Street Signs, was written after the band’s guitarist Alek Browning vacationed in California.

Surrounded by a bunch of spoiled families at a mall, no one appeared to appreciate what they had.

“Shop till you drop / Oh, I hope you drop dead,” proclaim the lyrics.

“We think the song is hilarious,” says Browning, whose band is admittedly obsessed with Christmas. The hardest part about writing the song was trying to keep it sounding festive — the use of sleigh bells helped.

Still, no one locally is writing these songs as some sort of money grab (like so many superstars so lazily do). It’s all for fun.

“It’s not that the world needs more Christmas music,” Martin says. “And I think, for the most part, it would be difficult to write a perennial smash hit. Mariah Carey is probably the last to do it.

But it’s great to try, burn brightly for one year and fizzle out. And don’t worry — next year, Friends of Mine plan on writing more Christmas songs.”  lauraj@inlander.com

DECEMBER 17, 2015 INLANDER 41

MUSIC | SOUND ADVICE

EVENT WINTER FORMAL

J = THE INLANDER RECOMMENDS THIS SHOW

Thursday, 12/17

ARBoR CReSt Wine CellARS, Fireside Music Series: Evan Denlinger J the Big DippeR, Sagittarius party with 1 Tribe BoomeRS ClASSiC RoCk BAR & gRill, Randy Campbell acoustic show BootS BAkeRy & lounge, The Song Project J BuCeR’S CoFFeehouSe puB, Open Jazz Jam with Erik Bowen BuCkhoRn inn, The Spokane River Band J ChApS, Spare Parts CoeuR D’Alene CASino, PJ Destiny CRAve, Stoney Hawk Fizzie mulligAnS, Kicho the FlAme, DJ WesOne hogFiSh, Apollo Live the JACkSon St., Cary Fly acoustic JoneS RADiAtoR, Madeline McNeill live recording show J knitting FACtoRy, Lil Dicky feat.

C.H., Bezzel, Neves, Artistic mik’S (208-666-0450), DJ Brentano J monARCh mountAin CoFFee (208-265-9382), Open Mic hosted

by Scott Reid o’ShAyS iRiSh puB & eAteRy, Open mic with Adrian and Leo the pAlomino, Ladies Night with DJ Posa, DJ Funk, DJ Perfechter J pinnACle noRthWeSt, Devin the Dude, Potluck, State of Krisis, Drunken Poetz, Demon Assas-

42 INLANDER DECEMBER 17, 2015

N

ot all of us have particularly fond memories of our various high school dances. But one thing is seemingly definitive in modern human nature: we love to get dressed up. Lucky for all of us, we’re not in high school anymore; now we’re of legal drinking age.

Perhaps, then, Saturday’s annual Baby Bar Winter Formal is the best of both worlds. It’s completely removed from the converted gymnasium, heavily guarded by eagle-eyed staff hellbent on exterminating public displays of affection on sight.

Yet it provides an excuse to pull out those threads you bought for your brother’s first marriage. You’ll be glad you hadn’t just rented an outfit, like your family told you.

Likely the first thing you’ll notice when walking in on the big night is the admittedly surreal image of a full room of adults dressed to the nines in a completely redecorated Neato Burrito/ Baby Bar. You’ll recognize these people — locals, regulars, your friends — but you’ll be seeing them in a new light.

The next thing to grab your attention might be the staggering lineup of local DJs, four of the town’s best, acting as an ensemble that calls itself the Residents (no, not those Residents). Including both members of Twin Towers, DJ Ca$e and DJ Locke, it will certainly be the most turntables that floor has held at one time.

The best sensation of the night will set in almost immediately: these are your favorite people at their very best, all without the arbitrary drama and oppressive adult supervision of the days of yore. No promises can be made regarding high school-style awkwardness and shame. Depending on how much you drink, that is.

— JORDAN SATTERFIELD Baby Bar Winter Formal feat. the Residents • Sat, Dec. 19, at 8 pm • Free • 21+ • Baby Bar • 827 W. First • 847-1234

J = ALL AGES SHOW

sin, Eazzy Duz It, Mad Money, Manwitnoname, KC, LOU ERA, Groove Street ReD Room lounge, Latin Tursdays feat. DJ Wax808 RepuBliC BReWing Co., Rabbit Wilde SWAXX, Lil Dicky show after party the RoADhouSe, The Sidemen timBeR gAStRo puB (208-2629593), Daniel Mills zolA, Boomshack

Friday, 12/18

ARBoR CReSt Wine CellARS, Fireside Music Series: Bill Bozly BeveRly’S, Robert Vaughn Bolo’S, The Vibe Raiderz BoomeRS ClASSiC RoCk BAR & gRill, Crybaby J BuCeR’S CoFFeehouSe puB, Jon & Rand vintage faves CoeuR D’Alene CASino, Dan Conrad CRAve, Stoney Hawk CuRley’S, Dragonfly Di lunA’S CAFe, David Raitt & the Baja Boogie Band eAgleS loDge (489-3030), Bobby Bremer Band FeDoRA puB & gRille, Carli Oskia Fizzie mulligAnS, Phoenix the FlAme, DJ Big Mike & DJ Sassy gooDtymeS BAR & gRill (9281070), DJ WesOne the hive, The Lil’ Smokies

iRon hoRSe BAR, Chris Rieser and the Nerve the JACkSon St., Los Chingadoris J JoneS RADiAtoR, Ugly Sweater Party feat. Buffalo Jones, B Radicals mik’S, DJ Beatkeeper - Jaxon Zareski mooSe lounge (208-664-7901), FM the muSeum (844-2187), Spokane Jingle Jam with One Louder nAShville noRth, Luke Jaxon with DJ Tom neCtAR tASting Room, Daniel Mills noRtheRn QueSt CASino, DJ Ramsin nyne, DJ Patrick o’ShAyS iRiSh puB & eAteRy, Arvid Lundin and Deep Roots penD D’oReille WineRy, Justin Lantrip J pinnACle noRthWeSt, Nightmare Before Christmas Day 4 feat. the Nixon Rodeo, Moretta, Concrete Grip, Elephant Gun Riot, A Cryptic Ending, Boat Race Weekend, David Simmons, Lions Beside Us, Kevin and the Spokes the RiDleR piAno BAR, Dueling Pianos feat. Christan Raxter & Steve Ridler RoCkeR Room (208-676-2582), Bad Santa Bash feat. DJ Rogue, DJ Jamesin SeASonS oF CoeuR D’Alene, GRE3NE/Ron Greene

the viking BAR & gRill, Spokane Dan and the Blues Blazers zolA, The Cronkites

Saturday, 12/19

315 mARtiniS & tApAS, Truck Mills J BABy BAR, Baby Bar’s Winter Formal feat. the Residents (See story above) BARloWS At liBeRty lAke, Jan Harrison J the BARtlett, The Holiday Round #14 feat. The Banner Days and Caroline Fowler, Nate Stratte and more BeveRly’S, Robert Vaughn J the Big DippeR, Holiday Dance Party Bolo’S, The Vibe Raiderz BoomeRS ClASSiC RoCk BAR & gRill, Crybaby J BuCeR’S CoFFeehouSe puB, Michael Thomas J CAlypSoS CoFFee & CReAmeRy, Aubrey Borders J ChApS, Just Plain Darin CoeuR D’Alene CASino, Dan Conrad CRAve, Stoney Hawk CuRley’S, Dragonfly eAgleS loDge, Bobby Bremer Band Fizzie mulligAnS, Phoenix the FlAme, DJ Big Mike & DJ Sassy gooDtymeS BAR & gRill, DJ WesOne hogFiSh, Echo Elysim

iRon hoRSe BAR, Chris Rieser and the Nerve the JACkSon St., DJ Dave JoneS RADiAtoR, Sidetrack J knitting FACtoRy, Blue Christmas “A Blues Show” feat. Sammy Eubanks (See story on page 40 for more) lA RoSA CluB, Open Jam the lARiAt inn, Spokane River Band mik’S, DJ Beatkeeper - Jaxon Zareski mooSe lounge, FM nAShville noRth, Luke Jaxon with DJ Tom noRtheRn QueSt CASino, DJ Ramsin nyne, DJ JG oFF RegAl lounge, Donnie Emerson & Nancy Sophia the pAlomino, Project X, Morbid Inc, Blame Shifter, Children of Atom. penD D’oReille WineRy, The Wagoner Band J pinnACle noRthWeSt, Nightmare Before Christmas Day 5 feat. Black Breath, Skelator, the Drip, Rot Monger, Infrablaster, Diazepam, Wolfstorm, Withheld Judgement, Toxinaut the RiDleR piAno BAR, Dueling Pianos feat. Christan Raxter & Steve Ridler J the Shop, Michael and Keleren Millham Holiday Party the RoADhouSe, Keith and the

Hankers THE VIKING BAR & GRILL, Stepbrothers ZOLA, The Cronkites

Sunday, 12/20

J CALYPSOS COFFEE & CREAMERY, Dave Wentz COEUR D’ALENE CASINO, Kosh DALEY’S CHEAP SHOTS, Jam Night with VooDoo Church HOGFISH, Open Jam JONES RADIATOR, Dave Wentz, the Tourist Union J PINNACLE NORTHWEST, Nightmare Before Christmas Day 6 feat.

FAUS, Jedediah the Pilot, Cold Blooded, Keep in Check, Willie B the MC, Scatterbox, the Revision Scheme, East Sherman, the Colourflies and more ZOLA, The Long Brothers

Monday, 12/21

J CALYPSOS COFFEE & CREAMERY, Open Mic EICHARDT’S, Monday Night Jam with Truck Mills LEFTBANK WINE BAR, Monday Night Spotlight feat. Carey Brazil

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J PINNACLE NORTHWEST, Obie Trice, Lou Era, Mc-NuTT, Pest, Demon Assassin, Blayze_One, Social Suicide, JL, Disk Jockey Felon, King Skelle RED ROOM LOUNGE, Open Mic with MJ The In-Human Beatbox ZOLA, Fusbol

Tuesday, 12/22

315 MARTINIS & TAPAS, The Rub J THE BARTLETT, Holiday Open Mic J THE BIG DIPPER, Jessika Smith CD Release Party BROOKLYN DELI & LOUNGE, Open Mic FEDORA PUB & GRILLE, Tuesday Night Jam with Truck Mills THE JACKSON ST., DJ Dave JONES RADIATOR, Open Mic of Open-ness KELLY’S IRISH PUB, Arvid Lundin & Deep Roots MIK’S, DJ Brentano MOOSE LOUNGE, Blue Eye J PINNACLE NORTHWEST, “Naughty or Nice” with Demon Assassin, Hali Vaye SWAXX, T.A.S.T.Y with DJs Freaky Fred, Beauflexx ZOLA, The Bucket List

Wednesday, 12/23 EICHARDT’S, Charley Packard GENO’S TRADITIONAL FOOD & ALES (368-9087), Open Mic with T & T THE JACKSON ST., DJ Dave J JONES RADIATOR, A Festivus Miracle feat. The Festivus Miracle Band THE LANTERN TAP HOUSE, DJ Lydell

LITZ’S BAR & GRILL (327-7092), Nick Grow LUCKY’S IRISH PUB, DJ D3VIN3 PINNACLE NORTHWEST, DJ Freaky Fred THE RIDLER PIANO BAR, Jam with Steve Ridler SOULFUL SOUPS & SPIRITS, Open mic THE ROADHOUSE, Open mic with Vern Vogel and the Volcanoes ZOLA, Raggs and Bush Doktor

Coming Up ...

SWAXX, Doctor P, Dec. 25 PINNACLE NORTHWEST, Children of Atom, 37 Street Signs, Project X, Joshua James Belliardo, Deschamp, Dec. 26 THE OBSERVATORY, Fun Ladies, the Smokes, the Holy Cow, Jordan Minnesota, Dec. 26 PINNACLE NORTHWEST, Elektro Grave, Dec. 28, 9 pm.

PINNACLE NORTHWEST, The Mentors, Toxinaut, Dec. 29 THE BIG DIPPER, Ryan Levey’s NYE Birthday Bash, Dec. 31 PINNACLE NORTHWEST, NYE Masquerade Ball feat. DJ Felon, Dec. 31 RED LION HOTEL AT THE PARK, New Year’s Eve with the Cronkites, Dec. 31 SPOKANE AIRPORT RAMADA INN, Bobby Patterson and The Fat Tones, Dec. 31 THE HIVE, New Year’s Eve Ball feat.

The London Souls, Dec. 31 NORTHERN QUEST CASINO, New Year’s Eve with Blue Öyster Cult, Dec. 31 THE LARIAT INN, New Year’s Eve feat.

Ricks Brothers, Dec. 31 ZOLA, NYE feat. UpperCut, Dec. 31 SCHWEITZER MOUNTAIN RESORT, New Year’s Eve at Schweitzer feat.

Flying Mammals, Dec. 31 COEUR D’ALENE INN, New Year’s Eve feat. The Ryan Larsen Band, Rox Music, Dec. 31 CRUISERS, New Year’s Eve feat. Thunder Knife, Children of Atom, Pipers Rush, Dec. 31 DOUBLE TREE HOTEL, Tuxedo Junction Big Band, Dec. 31, THE PALOMINO, Masquerade Ball feat.

Perfechter Productions, Dec. 31 RED ROOM LOUNGE, Elton Jah NYE Reunion Show, Dec. 31 THE BARTLETT, New Year’s Eve with Pickwick, Dec. 31 CHECKERBOARD BAR, Masquerade New Years Celebration, Dec. 31 JOHN’S ALLEY, NYE feat. Flying Mammals, Dec. 31 JONES RADIATOR, ‘80s party feat. DJ Lydellski, DJ Orange, Dec. 31 KNITTING FACTORY, NYE Party feat.

Invasive, Over Sea Under Stone, Broken Identity, Zaq Flanery, Dec. 31 MOOSE LOUNGE, Chris Rieser and the Nerve, Dec. 31 NASHVILLE NORTH, NYE with Kristy from American Young, Luke Jaxon and more, Dec. 31 THE SHOP, Daniel Hall, Jan. 2 THE BIG DIPPER, Monarch EP release feat. 1Tribe, Flannel Math Animal, Nate Stratte, Jan. 2

Give Home for the

Holidays!

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MUSIC | VENUES 315 MARTINIS & TAPAS • 315 E. Wallace, CdA • 208-667-9660 ARBOR CREST • 4705 N. Fruit Hill Rd. • 927-9463 BABY BAR • 827 W. First Ave. • 847-1234 THE BARTLETT • 228 W. Sprague Ave. • 747-2174 BIG BARN BREWING • 16004 N. Applewood Ln, Mead • 238-2489 THE BIG DIPPER • 171 S. Washington St. • 863-8098 BIGFOOT PUB • 9115 N. Division St. • 467-9638 BING CROSBY THEATER • 901 W. Sprague Ave. • 227-7638 BLACK DIAMOND • 9614 E. Sprague • 891-8357 BOLO’S• 116 S. Best Rd. • 891-8995 BOOMERS • 18219 E. Appleway Ave. • 755-7486 BOOTS BAKERY & LOUNGE • 24 W. Main Ave. • 703-7223 BUCER’S COFFEEHOUSE PUB • 201 S. Main, Moscow • 208-882-5216 BUCKHORN INN • 13311 Sunset Hwy.• 244-3991 CALYPSOS • 116 E Lakeside Ave., CdA • 208665-0591 THE CELLAR • 317 E. Sherman, CdA • 208-6649463 CHAPS • 4237 Cheney-Spokane Rd. • 624-4182 CHATEAU RIVE • 621 W. Mallon Ave. • 795-2030 CHECKERBOARD BAR • 1716 E. Sprague • 535-4007 COEUR D’ALENE CASINO • 37914 S. Nukwalqw Rd., Worley • 800-523-2464 COEUR D’ALENE CELLARS • 3890 N. Schreiber Way, CdA • 208-664-2336 CRAFTED TAP HOUSE • 523 Sherman Ave., CdA • 208-292-4813 CRAVE• 401 W. Riverside Suite 101. • 321-7480 CRUISERS • 6105 W Seltice Way, Post Falls • (208) 773-4706 CURLEY’S • 26433 W. Hwy. 53 • 208-773-5816 DALEY’S • 6412 E. Trent • 535-9309 EICHARDT’S • 212 Cedar St., Sandpoint • 208263-4005 FEDORA PUB • 1726 W. Kathleen, CdA • 208765-8888 FIZZIE MULLIGANS • 331 W. Hastings Rd. • 466-5354 THE FLAME • 2401 E. Sprague Ave. • 534-9121 THE FOXHOLE• 829 E. Boone • 315-5327 FOX THEATER • 1001 W. Sprague • 624-1200 GRANDE RONDE CELLARS • 906 W. 2nd • 455-8161 HANDLEBARS • 12005 E. Trent, Spokane Valley • 309-3715 HOGFISH • 1920 E. Sherman, CdA • 208-667-1896 IRON HORSE • 407 E. Sherman Ave., CdA • 208-667-7314 THE JACKSON ST. • 2436 N. Astor • 315-8497 JOHN’S ALLEY • 114 E. 6th, Moscow • 208-8837662 JONES RADIATOR • 120 E. Sprague • 747-6005 KNITTING FACTORY • 911 W. Sprague Ave. • 244-3279 LAGUNA CAFÉ • 4302 S. Regal St. • 448-0887 THE LANTERN TAP HOUSE • 1004 S. Perry St. • 315-9531 THE LARIAT • 11820 N Market St, Mead • 4669918 LA ROSA CLUB • 105 S. First Ave., Sandpoint • 208-255-2100 LEFTBANK WINE BAR • 108 N. Washington • 315-8623 LUCKY’S IRISH PUB • 408 W. Sprague Ave. • 747-2605 MAX AT MIRABEAU • 1100 N. Sullivan Rd. • 924-9000 MOOTSY’S • 406 W. Sprague • 838-1570 NASHVILLE NORTH • 6361 W. Seltice Way, Post Falls • 208-457-9128 NECTAR• 120 N. Stevens St. • 869-1572 NORTHERN RAIL PUB • 5209 N. Market • 487-4269 NORTHERN QUEST • 100 N. Hayford • 242-7000 NYNE • 232 W. Sprague Ave. • 474-1621 THE SHOP • 924 S. Perry St. • 534-1647 O’SHAY’S • 313 E. CdA Lake Dr. • 208-667-4666 THE PALOMINO • 6425 N Lidgerwood St • 242-8907 PEND D’OREILLE WINERY • 301 Cedar St., Sandpoint • 208-265-8545 PINNACLE NORTHWEST • 412 W. Sprague • 368-4077 RED LION RIVER INN • 700 N. Division St. • 326-5577 RED ROOM LOUNGE • 521 W. Sprague Ave. • 838-7613 REPUBLIC BREWING • 26 Clark Ave. • 775-2700 THE RIDLER PIANO BAR • 718 W. Riverside . • 822-7938 THE ROADHOUSE • 20 N. Raymond • 413-1894 SEASONS OF COEUR D’ALENE • 209 E. Lakeside Ave. • 208-664-8008 THE SHOP • 924 S. Perry St. • 534-1647 SOULFUL SOUPS & SPIRITS • 117 N. Howard St. • 459-1190 SPOKANE ARENA • 720 W. Mallon • 279-7000 SULLIVAN SCOREBOARD • 205 N Sullivan Rd • 891-0880 SWAXX • 23 E. Lincoln Rd. • 703-7474 TAMARACK • 912 W Sprague • 315-4846 THE VIKING • 1221 N. Stevens St. • 315-4547 ZOLA • 22 W. Main Ave. • 624-2416

DECEMBER 17, 2015 INLANDER 43

CLASSICAL PLAY IT AGAIN

Once again, the Spokane Symphony teams up with the Spokane Symphony Chorale and Spokane Area Youth Choirs for the Holiday Pops concert. These are songs we hear year after year, and there’s comfort in that. Expect favorites like “Carol of the Bells” and selections from The Nutcracker suite. Conductor Jorge Luis Uzcátegui will add some traditional Yuletide songs from Venezuela, his home country. Adding to the traditions, of course, is a visit from Santa and an audience sing-along portion at the close of the show.

— LAURA JOHNSON Spokane Symphony SuperPops 3: Holiday Pops • Sat, Dec. 19, at 8 pm; Sun, Dec. 20, at 2 pm • $14-$62 • Martin Woldson Theater at the Fox • 1001 W. Sprague • ticketswest.com

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44 INLANDER DECEMBER 17, 2015

COMMUNITY CULTURAL ENCAMPMENT

THEATER RETRO RADIO

Winter Encampment • Through Jan. 2; Fri-Sat, from 7-9 pm • Free • Coeur d’Alene Casino Resort Hotel • 37914 S. Nukwalqw, Worley, Idaho • cdacasino.com/events

It’s a Wonderful Life: A Radio Play • Thu, Dec. 24, at 6 pm • $20/ adults, $15/students with ID • Bing Crosby Theater • 901 W. Sprague • spokanecivictheatre.com • 325-2507

Holiday activities can often feel monotonous: cookie decorating, white elephant exchanges, endless shopping, pictures with Santa — you know the routine. This season, venture off the path of stocking stuffers and candy canes with an immersive cultural experience hosted by the Coeur d’Alene Tribe. The event features a light show set to traditional tribal music, and a celebration of the tribe’s oral traditions with storytelling by Cultural Director Quanah Matheson.

Fifteen teepees and 50 animals, illuminated by thousands of lights, are spectacularly displayed in the Chinook Meadow.

—MAKAYLA WAMBOLDT

Frank Capra’s timeless holiday film It’s a Wonderful Life is again brought to life on stage this Christmas Eve through a partnership with the Spokane Civic Theatre and Friends of the Bing. Rather than a fully staged theatrical production, George Bailey’s journey from hopelessness to contentment on a fateful Christmas Eve is being produced in a radio play format. Civic actors bring Bedford Falls to life on stage as they portray actors producing the film’s story for radio. If your family can’t make it to the live show, tune in to a live broadcast on Spokane Public Radio (KPBX, 91.1 FM).

— QUINN WESTERN

NEW YEAR’S EVE

Pre-Funk s n o m m at the Co December 31 • 5pm-10pm

Live Music COMMUNITY OLD-FASHIONED HOLIDAY

During the holiday season, lots of things that you can see any time of the year around Spokane take on a magical charm, including the historic Campbell House mansion on the grounds of the Northwest Museum of Arts and Culture. In keeping with tradition, staff have decked the halls of the 1910 Tudor Revival home as it would have been done by the Campbell family.

Visitors can explore at their own pace, but special events that don’t typically happen any other time of the year include live actors portraying family members and household staff, kids’ activities and more. Don’t forget to stop by and check out current exhibits in the MAC galleries while you’re there.

— CHEY SCOTT

$2 Champagne 10% Discount on all goods.

U

Knead Harmony Massage on site to give chair massages

Campbell House Holidays • Dec. 19-Jan. 2, from noon-4 pm; (closed MonTue and Dec. 25) • $5-$10 museum admission • The MAC • 2316 W. First • northwestmuseum.org

I SAW YOU CHEERS & JEERS Submit your message at Inlander.com/ISawYou

WORDS HISTORY LESSON

For more than 22 years, the Inlander has shared the story of our region’s history, both the very recent past and long-ago days that span centuries. For the second year, we’ve published a compilation of our best historical features in book form, Inlander Histories, Volume 2. All originally printed in the Inlander (several were also published before the modern web era, and thus can’t be found online), the 15 chapters include stories of the Looff Carrousel, the founders of Spokane’s first hospital and a look at the life of legendary Spokanite Bing Crosby (pictured). Inlander publisher Ted McGregor hosts a reading of selections from the collection, which makes a great gift. Find it at numerous local retailers, including Auntie’s, and here at Inlander HQ. — CHEY SCOTT Reading: Inlander Histories, Vol. 2 • Mon, Dec. 21, at 7 pm • Free • Auntie’s Bookstore • 402 W. Main • bit.ly/InlanderHistorie

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DECEMBER 17, 2015 INLANDER 45

W I SAW U YOU

RS RS

CHEERS JEERS

&

I SAW YOU BEEP BEEP Dear white SUV — people honk for a lot of reasons. Sometimes they honk to say hello, sometimes they honk because they're angry, and sometimes they honk to alert you to the fact you are veering into their lane of traffic (several times) and they prefer not to get into a car accident by the Falls on their Wednesday morning commute. I honked at you for Reason Number 3. It's neat that you honked back but I'd rather you just focus on the road.

RED DREADS I saw you in my living room when I came home from work. You were tending to the kids (an exhausting job, I know) but still as always looked amazing. You are an incredible person and a wonderful wife and mother. I am so blessed to have you and everything that you are. I can't imagine life without you and all your weirdness. So ummm maybe we could do coffee some time?

CHEERS GLOWSTICK GIRL: I BELIEVE. "I’m sorry we’ve both trusted our own insecurities more than we’ve trusted each other.

I’m sorry we’ve struggled with so many emotions and so much baggage from our pasts. I’m sorry you feel anger and hurt. So take time to heal. And as you heal, I hope you’ll realize the pain and disappointment are fueled by the fears inside you. No one on this earth is more committed to you and your future than I am; someday, I believe you’ll realize

that’s special, and rare, and worthwhile.

Because I choose to believe. Until then, I’ll keep sending you thoughts here. – El Scorcho TO THE OUTSPOKEN BOYZ Cheers for all you do for the LGBT community. You ARE making a difference; doing A LOT and are definitely on the right track. The world needs people like you to stand strong in the face of adversity; speak up for those who can't; be there for those who have no one. Keep going! You guys are a shining light to the LGBT community. — "That Lovely Lady" THANKS FOR THE HELP Thank you Tony! After losing a tire by the Rosauers on Sunset Blvd you were kind enough to find a jack then put my spare on while getting all wet and muddy in the freezing cold. I truly appreciate your kind-hearted help.

TO THE KEYSER FAMILY You came into Applebees on the 5th and were sat across from me in my section. A table of ten had just tipped me 26 cents total after I had been waiting on them for the last few hours. Normally I can brush bad tips off, but this time it was different. This time I had been picking up shift after shift to pay for my fiance's broken-down car and my pup's surgery so she can walk. I was trying to not only make up bills but also make some money for Christmas.

You didn't know any of that, but when you saw that they hadn't tipped, you immediately handed me money without expecting anything. You didn't know it, but what you tipped me in total that morning was over half of what I made from an entire day working. I don't know if you will ever see this, but know how much that encounter meant to me and how thankful I am. That kindness came at a time I needed it most, and I will be sure to pass it on the next chance I get.

HELLO BATMAN You have another birthday coming up Batman. If you would take off your cape I would make it a birthday you would never forget. Seduction in words. How many more apart? Long distance love is difficult. Please come home soon so you can live in peaceful and blissful happiness. Loving you every minute and hoping for a forever reunion.

Love you, Batgirl.

LIFE IN THE SANE LANE Hello sweetie; What a relief to be out from under your

“

To the Spokane-based theatre that prevented the Public Library from showing Frozen. It’s disappointing to know that your priorities are more closely aligned to profit as opposed to community.

— FROZEN HEART

"older brother's" Scrooge-like antics, huh? The road ahead is looking smoothly paved and you're ready to roll on down that highway. Who knows what fun and good times are over that horizon?

After the fallout becomes less toxic, I think you'll look back on that dark day in October as one of the best of your life. Sorry I made you watch Mad Max: Fury Road, but maybe there were some pointers in there as to how to negotiate the road ahead? Naw, probably not. I love you babe. Party on!

THANKS, GOOD SAMARITAN Many thanks to the wonderful person who turned in my purse from the Walmart parking lot at Shadle on Dec. 5. May Karma return to you! moving1329@ gmail.com RESTORING MY FAITH IN HUMANITY I know this is way late but I just found your names. On Oct 5 I was T-boned @ Sullivan and Euclid @ about 5:45 a.m. I want to thank you profusely Sherri K. and Nick M. for coming forward as witnesses and Mark A. for admitting the mistake.

You all are awesome! And a shout of thanx to the un-named guy who gave me a ride to the gate too SANTA, ERIKA & SCC ELVES Hoping you will see this: a big heartfelt thank you from a single dad in need. I struggle to find words adequate to convey our gratitude! You guys materialized in our lives...I expected nothing. You stunned us, filling our house with love and kindness.

My kids needed "comfort and joy". You nailed that! From where I sit, I see little faces glowing, knowing they are special.

Bless you a thousand times over! Merry Christmas to all! PS, we are already

SOUND OFF 1. Visit Inlander.com/isawyou by 3 pm Monday. 2. Pick a category (I Saw You, You Saw Me, Cheers or Jeers). 3.

Provide basic info: your name and email (so we know you’re real). 4. To connect via I Saw You, provide a non-identifying email to be included with your submission — like “petals327@yahoo.com,” not “j.smith@comcast.net.”

thinking how to pay this forward. PPS, we've discussed how good it is to know such caring people are going on to serve & protect; you're in the right line of work, you guys. "Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth." 1 John 3:18

JEERS TO THE GIRL WHO MAKES $60000 A YR... Steakhouse on Dec. 9 and in place of a tip I was left two notes. One said simply "shitty" and the other..."I make $60000 a yr, don't judge a book by its cover. Enjoy the tip :-)" I was extremely shocked to have been both stiffed on a tip and also to discover you felt unhappy with the service and that you felt I judged you in some way. Soon as i found the notes...I went outside to see If I could catch any of you to apologize for giving you what you felt was poor service. I was able to catch a few people in your group and gave what I felt was a genuine apology. I'm esp disappointed to have not been able to apologize to you. I know this may sound crazy...but I actually had to hold back tears over it all. I think more than being stiffed was that I had been so misunderstood. Unlike you, I don't make much money. In fact...I have 3 jobs and still make just about half of what you do.

I'm a single mom (divorced) and even though I work alot...things are slow and times are tough. I was actually glad to have the opportunity to serve your party, as I really enjoy large parties and the potential to earn a good tip is wonderful.

At the time I not only had your party but also 4 other tables. I was also the closing server, which means I was responsible for making sure to check all the other

”

servers side work and sections. In other words...I had a alot of things going on at one time.

FROZEN HEART To the Spokane-based theatre that prevented the Public Library from showing Frozen. It's disappointing to know that your priorities are more closely aligned to profit as opposed to community.

LOW LIFE THIEF This is a jeers to the low life worthless piece of crap who busted my car window and stole my knife kit that also had recipes in it. I highly doubt your even competent enough to figure out what to do with anything of mine you stole. It probably doesn’t even matter considering your most likely going to sell it for drugs, because your better off a dead piece of crap than an alive one. I actually work hard for a living while you take from the rest of us. I will find you. 

THIS WEEK'S ANSWERS

NOTE: I Saw You/Cheers & Jeers is for adults 18 or older. The Inlander reserves the right to edit or reject any posting at any time at its sole discretion and assumes no responsibility for the content.

It’s good to be seen.

#wtbevents 46 INLANDER DECEMBER 17, 2015

EVENTS | CALENDAR

BLESSINGS UNDER THE BRIDGE WINTER EVENT The local nonprofit hosts an event to serve its clients in the community’s homeless population, offering a free hot brunch, hot drinks, holiday treats, distributions of winter clothing, blankets and gifts. At Fourth Avenue and McClellan Street.

See Facebook page for a list of needed donations and for information on how to sponsor a table at the event. Dec. 19, 12-3 pm. facebook.com/BlessingsUTB CHRISTMAS BENEFIT BALL An event to raise money for local charities supporting the rural community. Features live music by local musicians. Dec. 19, 6-10 pm. By donation. Addy Grange Hall, 1376 Main St. Addy, Wash. on.fb. me/1mm5JQe

COMEDY

STAND-UP OPEN MIC Local comedians; see weekly schedule online.

Thursdays at 8 pm. Free. Uncle D’s Comedy Underground, 2721 N. Market St. bluznews.com (483-7300) SEASON’S GREETINGS: A holiday greeting card-themed improv show.

Fridays in December, at 8 pm (no show Dec. 25). $7. Blue Door Theatre, 815 W. Garland. bluedoortheatre.com STAND-UP COMEDY Live comedy featuring established and up-and-coming local comedians. Fridays at 8 pm. No cover. Red Dragon Chinese, 1406 W. Third Ave. (838-6688) COMEDY FOR A CAUSE Local comedians Carl Shaw, Ginny Isbelle, Lucas Prahm and Casey Strain perform during a benefit for The Women and Children’s Free Restaurant. Bring nonperishable food items for a chance to win prizes. Dec. 19, 8-10 pm. Checkerboard Bar, 1716 E. Sprague. (535-4007) SAFARI Fast-paced short-form improv games based on audience suggestions.

(Not rated.) Saturdays at 9 pm. $7.

Blue Door Theatre, 815 W. Garland Ave. bluedoortheatre.com (747-7045) STAND-UP OPEN MIC Mondays; signup at 9:30 pm, show at 10 pm. Ages 21+. No cover. The Foxhole, 829 E. Boone. (315-5327) TRIVIA + OPEN MIC COMEDY Trivia starts at 8 pm; stick around for open mic comedy afterward. Tuesdays, from 8-10 pm. Free. Checkerboard Bar, 1716 E. Sprague. checkerboardbar.com GUFFAW YOURSELF Open mic comedy night; every other Thursday at 10 pm. Free. Neato Burrito, 827 W. First Ave. (847-1234)

JAN 16

Martin Woldson Theater at The Fox

SF Chronicle Highest Rating

"Gloriously varied, stunningly performed and beguilingly sexy: Forever Tango must be seen!” —The London Times

1001 W Sprague Ave • 509 624 1200 martinwoldsontheater.com • forevertango.org

d n t a n e d n e p e d n I l, Loca Free since 1993

u NEWS FROM SYRIA TO SPOKANE 18 MUSIC AN EPIC DAY WITH DEF LEPPARD 47 PULLOUT THE SPOKANE ARENA AT 20 ADVERTISING SUPPLEMENT TO THE INLANDER

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COMMUNITY MEMORIAL TREE Hospice of Spokane displays its annual Memorial Tree to remember loved ones. Families and friends are invited to purchase doves to honor the memories of loved ones this holiday season. Proceeds benefit Hospice; donations are not required.

Through Dec. 23. River Park Square, 808 W. Main. hospiceofspokane.org GAISER CONSERVATORY HOLIDAY LIGHTS The annual display features the greenhouse plants decked out in strings of holiday lights, hosted by the Friends of Manito. Dec. 11-20, open daily from 12-7:30 pm. Best viewing after 4 pm. Donations accepted. Manito Park, 1800 S. Grand Blvd. thefriendsofmanito.org (456-8038)

Come Tango With The Stars!

R’S LANDE THE IN

COMMUNITY

3151 E. 27th Ave. sssac.org (535-0803) CAMPBELL HOUSE HOLIDAYS The historic mansion is decorated for Christmas and open for visitors to explore at their own pace (no formal tours). Also includes an activity, craft and four living history interpreters on site. Dec. 19-20, 23-24, 26-27, 30-31 and Jan. 1-2, from 12-4 pm (until 3 pm on Dec. 24). $5-$10 museum admission. The MAC, 2316 W. First. northwestmuseum.org CHRISTMAS HIGH TEA The event includes a sampling of teas and traditional finger foods served on fine china and linens. The Center annex to the library is aglow with twinkling lights and holiday trees to add a festive mood.

Dec. 19, 1 pm. $25/person. Colfax Library, 102 S. Main St. (397-4366) GIANT GINGERBREAD HOUSE DECORATING Get in the holiday spirit and help Mobius Children’s Museum decorate its giant cardboard Gingerbread House. We’ll bring the craft supplies, you bring your imagination. Dec. 19, 10 am-4 pm. Mobius Children’s Museum, 808 W. Main. mobiusspokane.org PHOTOS WITH SANTA Write your letter to the North Pole, drink warm apple cider, and get photos with Santa. Half of session proceeds benefit Teen Closet. Also bring gently-used clothes for a clothing drive benefiting the nonprofit.

Dec. 19-20, 11 am-3 pm. $20/session.

Creative Catch Studio, 1804 E. Sprague. thecreativecatch.com (879-3262) CELTIC WINTER SOLSTICE CELEBRATION Celebrate the Winter Solstice by sharing nature’s darkness and rejoicing at the return of light with music, singing, a fire lighting ceremony and potluck. Dec. 21, 7-9 pm. Free. St. David’s Episcopal Church, 7315 N. Wall St. stdavidspokane.org (466-3100) COOL CAMP An extension of Spokane Valley’s Parks & Rec’s summer day camp program, aimed at keeping kids engaged in creative and healthy activities during the long winter break. Dec. 21-23 and Dec. 28-31, from 8 am-5 pm. For ages 6-11. Day and week rates available. $33-$100. CenterPlace Event Center, 2426 N. Discovery Place. (688-0300) MOBIUS WINTER BREAK CAMPS Head to Mobius for fun learning and exploration during winter break camps themed around marbles, elves, rockets and other things that you can launch and more. Dec. 22, 23 and 29; times vary. $20-$25/session. Mobius Children’s Museum, 808 W. Main. mobiusspokane.org (509-321-7121) SCHOOL’S OUT SCIENCE Mobius hosts four science-based exploration day camps, for grades 2-4, to explore the universe, crime scenes, projectiles and biology dissection. Dec. 22-23 and Dec. 29-30; times and camp themes vary. $20-$25/session. Mobius Science Center, 811 W. Main. mobiusspokane.org WEE MAC EXPLORATION SESSIONS The museum’s pre-K museum educational exploration sessions, with activities to foster exploration and social development in prep for Kindergarten.

Tuesdays from 9:30-11:30 am. For kids ages 4-5. $5/two people. The MAC, 2316 W. First. northwestmuseum.org DROP N’ SHOP Enjoy a fun evening out or get some last minute shopping done while the kids have a blast playing games. Staff are on hand to lead and play a variety of games and activities with the kids in grades 1-6. Dec. 23, 4-7 pm. $10-$15. HUB Sports Center, 19619 E. Cataldo. hubsportscenter.org (9270602)

u

BENEFIT

HAYDEN CHRISTMAS LIGHT SHOW A Christmas light walk through a neighborhood with heavily decorated homes, with hot chocolate, carolers, Santa photos, a live nativity and more.

Dec. 16-20, from 6-8 pm nightly. Park at Candlelight Christian Fellowship, 5725 N. Pioneer Dr., CdA. Shuttles take visitors to the site every 15 min. Free. on.fb.me/1OTIdWV JOURNEY TO THE NORTH POLE Daily, 40-minute evening cruises on Lake Coeur d’Alene offer views of the CdA Resort’s annual Holiday Lights Show, and includes a visit to Santa’s Workshop. Through Jan. 3, departing nightly at 5:30, 6:30 and 7:30 pm. $6/ages 6-12; free/ages 5 and under; $19.75/seniors (55+); $20.75/adults. CdA Resort, 115 S. Second. cdacruises.com PET-FRIENDLY SANTA PHOTOS Santa takes a break to show off his elfin-built sleigh and pose for photos with pets and kids. Dec. 16-17 and 21-22 (times vary). $5-$10. Southside Senior & Community Center, 3151 E. 27th. sssac.org RANDOM FANDOM Whovians, Bronies, Otakus, Trekkies and more are invited to geek out on all things fandom-related. Share your enthusiasm, make crafts, play games, munch on treats, and more. Upcoming events: Dec. 17 and Jan. 21, 4-5:30 pm. Free.

Spokane Valley Library, 12004 E. Main.

(893-8400) SANTA & HIS REINDEER Live reindeer are on site daily from Nov. 28-Dec. 23, and Santa visits on Saturdays, Nov. 28, Dec. 5, 12 and 19, from 10 am-4 pm. Ritter’s Garden & Gift, 10120 N. Division St. 4ritter.com (467-5258) SANTA EXPRESS The 22nd annual holiday store offers items at allowancefriendly prices (50 cents to $8) for area children (ages 4 to 12) to purchase for their friends and family, with proceeds supporting the mission of the Vanessa Behan Crisis Nursery. Through Dec. 23.

Mon-Fri, 11 am-8 pm; Sat, 10 am-8 pm; Sun, 11 am-6 pm. At 707 W. Main (skywalk level). vanessabehan.org SPOKANE WINTER GLOW SPECTACULAR The second annual holiday light display throughout Riverfront Park, free and open to the public nightly at 5 pm, through Jan. 1. Riverfront Park, 705 N. Howard St. (625-6601) CARDBOARD GINGERBREAD HOUSE Drop in and help us construct and decorate a gingerbread house made out of cardboard Dec. 18-23. The branch is leaving the house up through Dec. 23.

Materials provided; you bring creative ideas. Free. South Hill Library, 3324 S. Perry St. spokanelibrary.org (444-5331) THIRD FRIDAY SWING DANCE A monthly dance for all swing dance styles, including Lindy Hop, Charleston, East Coast, West Coast, Balboa, or Country Swing. Open to all ages. Lesson from 7-8 pm, and dancing until 11 pm. Dec. 18, 7-11 pm. $5. Woman’s Club of Spokane, 1428 W. Ninth. strictlyswingspokane.com WINTER ENCAMPMENT A modern interpretation of traditional winter lodging, food and activities of the Coeur d’Alene Tribe. A lighting shows also features tribal music, more than 15 teepees and 50 animals. Through Jan. 2, Fri-Sat, from 7-9 pm. Free. Coeur d’Alene Casino, 37914 S Hwy 95. cdacasino.com (800-523-2464) BREAKFAST + PHOTOS WITH SANTA Enjoy a continental breakfast followed by photos with Santa. Dec. 19, 9-11 am.

Southside Senior & Community Center,

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DECEMBER 17, 2015 INLANDER 47

RELATIONSHIPS

Advice Goddess It’S AlWAyS DArkeSt After the SPAWn

I’m an unhappily married 30-year-old woman. I’ve been with my husband for 10 years, but we only got married seven months ago. We argue almost daily, and he spends all of his time working. Because we fight so much, the thought of him touching me has become repulsive, so we are rarely intimate. Though these problems long proceeded our marriage, I felt I needed to move forward in life (marry, have kids, etc.), so I went through with the wedding. I recently got sexually involved with a coAMY ALKON worker, and I think I’m falling in love with him. We have all the loving passion I don’t with my husband. However, I want to have children before I’m 35. My husband can afford to raise a family, and my co-worker cannot. I can’t go on like this much longer, and I don’t know what to do.

—Miserable Getting married is supposed to be something you do when you find the right person, not whichever person happens to be right next to you when the clock above your ovaries strikes “HolyshitWe’re30!”

Sure, there comes a point in a woman’s life when conceiving and carrying a baby to term is miraculous to the point where unicorns should be pawing at the delivery room door. But keep in mind that even good marriages get strained by the addition of children, thanks to the poo-splosions, sleep deprivation (a form of torture violating the Geneva Conventions), and mystery rashes that look just like Ebola when you Google them at 3:03 a.m.

It’s also seriously unfair to bring kids into a marriage that’s tanking. Sociologist Paul Amato calls children “the innocent victims of their parents’ inability to maintain harmonious and stable homes.” Reviewing the research on divorce’s effects on children, Amato explains that “compared with children with continuously married parents, children with divorced parents … score significantly lower on measures of academic achievement, conduct, psychological adjustment, self-concept, and social relations.” This isn’t to say enemy combatant parents who stay together are doing right by their kids. Amato notes that some studies show that children in “high-conflict households … are worse off than children with divorced parents.”

Obviously, staying together “for the children” is a particularly bad idea when you and the husband you despise don’t even have the little buggers yet. So why did you make this “repulsive” guy your husband instead of your ex-boyfriend? It probably has something to do with our tendency to engage in ego-protecting “self-justification.” Psychologist Elliot Aronson finds that we are prone to refuse to acknowledge our mistakes — even when they’re banging us over the head with a leftover wedding centerpiece. Our denial allows us to keep seeing ourselves as smart people who make good choices. Which keeps us mired in our bad choices.

There is a way out, and it’s gritting our teeth and admitting mistakes instead of marrying them and making little bundles of stressjoy with them. For you, admitting that you screwed up by marrying this guy — the first step in unmarrying him — would take accepting the potential cost: You might not find a suitable candidate for daddyhood in time (or ever). Yes, that would be rough — but so would the possible alternative: having an adorable pair of twins who go to Harvard — because it’s a great place to mug dazed freshmen so they can feed their staggering meth habit.

lIvInG rePurPoSefully

To quote the Facebook relationship status, “It’s complicated.” I went out with this man a few times and slept with him once. It didn’t work out, and now his sexy guy friend, who’s also his boss, has asked me out. However, the boss guy used to date one of my female friends. We are all in the same social circle. What’s the protocol here?

Do I need to ask permission or give anybody a heads-up about my going out with the boss guy? —Messy Picture It can be a little touchy for all involved when everybody’s answer to “Where have you been all my life?” is “Having sex with your friend.”

But perhaps you missed the news. They passed an amendment against owning people. In, uh, 1865. So, assuming your girlfriend isn’t in a fetal position behind her couch sobbing over the boss guy, you should feel free to go out with him. But considering how often first dates end up being last dates, it’s best to avoid putting out a press release about your plans. If dating the guy does take a relationshippy turn, that’s when you give your girlfriend a little heads-up: “Hey, just wanted to let you know, I was rummaging through your trash and I found this fabulous old chair, along with your ex-boyfriend.” Stay classy — that is, avoid any temptation to go gloaty: “They both are, like, so comfy and are really perking up the bedroom!” n ©2015, Amy Alkon, all rights reserved. • Got a problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave, #280, Santa Monica, CA 90405 or email AdviceAmy@aol.com (www.advicegoddess.com)

48 INLANDER DECEMBER 17, 2015

EVENTS | CALENDAR

FILM

IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE Celebrate the season with the Kenworthy’s annual showing of It’s A Wonderful Life, Dec. 17-20, at 7 pm. $3-$6; bring a canned food donation for $1 off. The Kenworthy, 508 S. Main St. kenworthy.org ELF Cozy up at the library to enjoy this new holiday favorite. Dec. 19, 2 pm. Free.

Downtown Spokane Library, 906 W. Main. spokanelibrary.org (444-5336) MR. DARK SEASON FINALE A special screening of the season one finale of the web series, created by a team of Spokane directors/actors. Meet the cast, crew and director Jesse James Hennessy before the screening at 6 pm.

Dec. 20, 7 pm. $10. Magic Lantern Theatre, 25 W. Main. magiclanternspokane. com (209-2383) TOTALLY TUBULAR TUESDAY: ELF In the weeks leading up to Christmas, the Garland hosts screenings of holiday classics. Dec. 22, at 7 pm; $2.50 tickets.

Garland Theater, 924 W. Garland Ave. garlandtheater.com (327-1050) SPECTRE (PG-13) A cryptic message from the past sends James Bond on a rogue mission to Mexico City and Rome.

Rated PG 13. Dec. 26-27, show times vary. $3-$6. The Kenworthy, 508 S. Main St. kenworthy.org (208-882-4127)

FOOD & DRINK

TASTYTHURSDAYS Wine tastings are hosted every Thursday evening, from 5-7, sampling something new each week. $5/person; fee waived if you find a bottle you love and buy. Live music and light appetizers offered. Uva Trattoria, 309 E. Lakeside Ave. uvacda.com RAT PACK DINNER SHOW Dinner begins at 6 pm with the show at 7 pm.

Dec. 17, 6 pm. $40. Coeur d’Alene Casino, 37914 S Hwy 95. cdacasino.com TASTEFUL THURSDAYS Weekly events feature live music and seasonal product samples from local and regional producers. Thursdays, from 5-7 pm, through Dec. 18. Free. Moscow Food Co-op, 121 E. 5th St. (208-882-8537) COOKING CLASS: CRAB CAKES & MORE Chef David Pierce demonstrates how to make parmesan crusted crab cakes with a remoulade sauce, endive and watercress salad with a champagne vinaigrette, and a chocolate soufflé with a white chocolate peppermint crème anglais. Dec. 18, 6-8 pm. $40. Gourmet Way, 8222 N. Gov’t Way. (208-762-1333) NO-LI BREWHOUSE TOURS See what goes on behind the scenes and how NoLi’s beer is made. Fridays at 4:30 pm.

Free. No-Li Brewhouse, 1003 E. Trent Ave. nolibrewhouse.com (242-2739) ROBERT KARL WINE TASTING A tasting of local wines from Robert Karl Vineyards with live music by Nick Shelling. Studio 107, 120 N. Fourth, CdA. (208-664-1201) VINO WINE TASTING Friday Dec. 18 is a tasting of the best wines from Northern Italy, from 3-7:30 pm. Sat, Dec. 19 showcases selections from Brian Carter Cellars, from 2-4:30 pm. Wines also available by-the-glass. Tastings include cheese and crackers. Vino! A Wine Shop, 222 S. Washington St. (838-1229) 1ST ANNUAL INTERNATIONAL MAR-

MOT BEER FESTIVAL River City hosts a fest to celebrate its Midnight Marmot Stout, offering pours of 10 variations of the stout (complete list on Facebook event), a commemorative glass, growler fill specials and more. Dec. 19, 12-8 pm. $25-$30. River City Brewing, 121 S. Cedar St. on.fb.me/1I2ob4H (413-2388) CHRISTMAS DINNER AT BANK LEFT Serving a menu of French beef bourguignon, potato puree with truffle butter, appetizers and desserts. $27.50/ person; wine and dessert addlt. cost.

Dec. 19, 6-8 pm. Bank Left Gallery, 100 S. Bridge St., Palouse. bankleftgallery. com (509-878-8425) CHEF CHAD WHITE WELCOME HOME DINNER: Chef Jeremy Hansen of Sante and Chef Chad White, who is returning from San Diego home to Spokane to open a restaurant next year, prepare a seven-course dinner with wine pairings. Call 315-4613 for reservations. Dec. 20, 6 pm. $160/person. Santé Restaurant & Charcuterie, 404 W. Main Ave. SanteSpokane.com (509-315-4613) COOKING CLASS: CUPCAKES FOR KIDS A special event with Marla from Temptations! CupCakes teaching how to make and decorate treats. Open to ages 8-15; parents may observe for free.

Each child will get a treat of their own to take home. Reservations requested.

Dec. 22, 11 am-noon. $15. Gourmet Way, 8222 N. Government Way. gourmetwayhayden.com (208-762-1333) CHRISTMAS DINNER AT THE DAVENPORT Dinner service on Christmas Day is offered at the Palm Court Grille, Safari Room and the Davenport Grand Restaurant & Lounge. Make reservations at 455-8888 or davenporthotel.com. Dec. 25. Prices vary. Davenport Hotel, 10 S. Post. (800-899-1482)

MUSIC UPPER COLUMBIA CHRISTMAS CONCERT The Music Department of Upper Columbia Academy presents their eighth annual Christmas concert. Dec. 17. Free and open to the public. Martin Woldson Theater at The Fox, 1001 W. Sprague. (624-1200) CELESTIAL STRINGS CHRISTMAS CONCERT A magical night featuring a two-hour concert by local musicians with a virtual reality intermission created by the artists/engineers/programmers of NovaWake Studios. Ticket includes VR experience, concert, drink ticket and pizza. Dec. 18, 5-9 pm. $10. Time Traveler Lounge, 1521 E. Illinois, Ste. 100. timetravelerlounge.com (869-4272) FRIDAY NIGHT DANCES FEAT. VARIETY PAK Local dance band Variety Pak plays live music for a community dance, with beverages and snacks. Dec. 18 and Jan. 22, from 7-9:30 pm. $8-$10. Southside Senior & Community Center, 3151 E. 27th Ave. sssac.org (535-0803) SINGING NUNS CHRISTMAS CONCERT The Singing Nuns cordially invite the community to their 20th annual Christmas concert. Dec. 18-20, Fri-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sat-Sun at 2 pm. $15; $10 seniors/ students. Mt. St. Michael’s, 8500 North Saint Michaels Rd. singingnuns.com NINE LESSONS & CAROLS The traditional Anglican Service features the Cathedral Choir, Junior Choir and an instrumental ensemble performing and linking carols, anthems, and readings of the prophecies foretelling the coming of Christ. Dec. 18, 7-8 pm. Free. Cathedral of St. John the Evangelist, 127 E.

12th Ave. (838-4277) NORTHWEST SACRED MUSIC CHORALE The chorale’s winter concert features guest artists Paul Grove and the Crescendo Community Chorus. Dec. 18 at 7 pm and Dec. 19 at 4 pm. $16-$22.

Trinity Lutheran Church, 812 N. Fifth St, CdA. nwsmc.org (208-664-5743) INLAND NW BLUEGRASS MUSIC ASSOCIATION SHOWCASE Live music performed by local and regional bluegrass bands and related acoustic music performers. Monthly on the third Saturday, from 7-9:30 pm. $5-$7; ages 12 and under free. Trent Elementary, 3303 N. Pines. spokanebluegrass.org SPOKANE SYMPHONY SUPERPOPS 3: HOLIDAY POPS The Symphony’s annual performance of festive music, including all the magical moments that make the Holiday Pops a family tradition, like the audience sing-along and a visit from Santa. Tickets for youth ages 17 and under are half price ($14$31). Dec. 19 at 8 pm and Dec. 20 at 2 pm. $28-$62. Martin Woldson Theater at The Fox, 1001 W. Sprague. spokanesymphony.org (624-1200) THE BRIAN SETZER ORCHESTRA The 12th annual “Christmas Rocks” tour hits Spokane the day after Christmas, and comes in support of Brian’s first new studio Christmas album in 10 years, “Rockin’ Rudolph.” Dec. 26, 8 pm. $52$82. Martin Woldson Theater at The Fox, 1001 W. Sprague. (624-1200)

SPORTS & OUTDOORS

NIGHT SKIING KICKOFF PARTY The first night skiing event of the season starts with a bang, as the snowy runs will glow under the night lights. Also includes the first live band performance of the season in the Lodge. Dec. 18, 3:30-9:30 pm. $20. Mt. Spokane Ski & Snowboard Park, 29500 N. Mt. Spokane Park Dr. mtspokane.com (238-2220) SPOKANE CHIEFS VS. PORTLAND WINTERHAWKS Regular season hockey match. Dec. 18-19, at 7:05 pm. $10-$22. Spokane Arena, 720 W. Mallon Ave. spokanearena.com (279-7000) RENEGADES AND HANDRAILS PT. 1 Part one of the rail jam trilogy, with contests and more. Also taking place on the mountain that day is a winter brew fest, with local breweries featured. Dec. 19. 49 Degrees North, 3311 Flowery Trail Rd. ski49n.com (509-935-6649) WHITEOUT PARTY The mountain hosts its “pray for snow” event — wear white and send out good thoughts that this year won’t be a repeat of last year! Dec. 19. Lookout Pass Ski & Recreation Area, I-90 Exit 0. skilookout.com SPOKANE BADMINTON CLUB Meets Sun, from 4:30-7 pm and Wed, from 7-10 pm. Also meets for beginnerfriendly nights at the HUB Sports Center, 19619 E. Cataldo, Liberty Lake, on Tue, from 7-9 pm. ($5) $8/visit. West Central Community Center, 1603 N. Belt St. (869-9229) SPOKANE TABLE TENNIS CLUB Pingpong club meets Wed from 6:30-9 pm and Sun from 1:30-4:30 pm. $2/visit.

Southside Senior & Community Center, 3151 E. 27th Ave. (535-0803) SPOKANE TABLE TENNIS Ping-pong club meets Mon and Wed, from 6-9 pm. $3/visit. HUB Sports Center, 19619 E. Cataldo Ave. (768-1780)

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Marijuana has intoxicating effects and may be habit forming. It can also impair concentration, coordination and judgment. Do not operate a vehicle or machinery under the influence of this drug. For more information, consult the Washington State Liquor and Cannabis Board at www.liq.wa.gov.

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STRAINS

Sci-Fi Highs Star Wars-inspired strains provide highs as thrilling as the films

BY AZARIA PODPLESKY

A

nticipation is something that both pot enthusiasts and Star Wars fans are familiar with. For the former, the wait to see if Washington voters would legalize marijuana back in 2012 was agonizing. And for the latter, the years-long wait between films doesn’t get any easier.

To celebrate this week’s premiere of The Force Awakens, the seventh installment in the Star Wars saga, here are a few Star Wars-inspired strains to consider. May the force, and the high, be with you. ...continued on next page

RoyalsCannabis_ChristmasStoner_121715_3H_GG.tif

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DECEMBER 17, 2015 INLANDER 49

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DARTH VADER OG

This heavy indica’s coloring, a mix of purple and green, alludes to the Dark Side, but this bud is much nicer than its namesake. If you’re looking for a complete body relaxation to the point of sleepiness, this strain is for you. With a sweet grape aroma, Darth Vader OG is great for treating insomnia and quieting the mind.

DEATH STAR

A blend of Sensi Star and Sour Diesel, Death Star foregoes a planet-destroying laser and instead uses a blend of sativa and indica to take smokers down with a relaxed, euphoric high. As powerful as the Death Star’s laser, though, is the strain’s potent aroma, a blend of sweet, skunk and fuel.

EWOK

This strain, with a vegetative cycle as short as its hairy namesake, is a blend of Albert Walker and Tahoe Alien and features hints of tangerine and lemon. A high that starts in the head and works its way to full-body relaxation makes this bud a strong choice for treating both pain and insomnia.

JEDI KUSH

If you’re looking for a strain that will really awaken the force, reach for Jedi Kush. The creation of Cali Connection, this indica combines Death Star and SFV OG Kush for a bout of euphoria that builds into a rush of mental energy.

This strain is a popular choice for people looking for a daytime dose of cannabinoids to treat pain, post-traumatic stress disorder, depression, appetite loss and more.

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With THC levels that clock in at more than 20 percent and an aroma that’s part earthy, part spice, Master Yoda is difficult to ignore. If you’re looking for an uplifting buzz, try this bud, you must.

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50 INLANDER DECEMBER 17, 2015 564_WTSC_DHGD_4V_Ad_F.indd 1

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ALL IS CALM Friends of the Bing and the Modern Theater host an encore performance of last year’s production, set in 1914 on the Western Front of WWI during the famous Christmas Truce. Dec. 17-19 at 7:30 pm, Dec. 20 at 2 pm. $10-$15. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague. (227-7404) A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS & FROSTY THE SNOWMAN A live performance of the much-loved holiday classics. Dec. 17-19 at 7 pm, also Dec. 19 at 1 pm and 4 pm. $6-$8. Coeur d’Alene Charter Academy, 4904 N. Duncan Dr. (208-676-1667) CHRISTMAS WITH FRIENDS Ellen Travolta’s annual holiday show, featuring Jack Bannon, Mark Cotter and Laura Sable and directed by Roger Welch. Through Dec. 20, Thu-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 5 pm. $27.50. The Coeur d’Alene Resort, 115 S. Second. cdachristmas.com (208-765-4000) THE GREAT AMERICAN TRAILER PARK CHRISTMAS MUSICAL A musical comedy set in the Armadillo Acres trailer park. But when a freak bout of amnesia strikes the trailer park Scrooge, neighborly love is put to the test. Through Dec. 20, Thu-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. $24-$27. Modern Theater CdA, 1320 E. Garden Ave. themoderntheater.org TRADITIONS OF CHRISTMAS A musical journey of all the greatest Christmas songs and traditions from around the world, from a Rockette-style kickline to a live nativity. Shows on Dec. 17-19 and Dec. 22 at 7 pm; also Dec. 19-20 and 23 at 3 pm. $20/$26/$33. Kroc Center, 1765 W. Golf Course Rd. traditionsofchristmasnw.com (208-391-2867) WHITE CHRISTMAS Based on the timeless film, this heartwarming musical adaptation tells the story of veterans Bob Wallace and Phil Davis who have a successful song-and-dance act after World War II. Through Dec. 19, Thu-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. $22$30. Spokane Civic Theatre, 1020 N. Howard St. spokanecivictheatre.com A CHRISTMAS CAROL A performance of the Dickens’ classic. Through Dec. 20, Fri-Sat at 7 pm, Sun at 3 pm. $6$12. Pend Oreille Playhouse, 236 S. Union Ave., Newport. (447-9900) CHRISTMAS ON THE CONCOURSE An original musical focusing on a local airport and the passengers who end up stranded there on Christmas Eve. Through Dec. 20, Fri-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. $13-$15. Ignite! Community Theatre, 10814 E. Broadway. igniteonbroadway.org (509-795-0004) EVERY CHRISTMAS STORY EVER TOLD (AND THEN SOME) Instead of performing Charles Dickens’ beloved holiday classic for the umpteenth time, three actors decide to perform every Christmas story ever told, plus other holiday traditions from around the world. Dec. 18-19, at 7 pm. $12. Liberty Lake Community Theatre, 22910 E. Appleway Ave. (342-2055) GREASE: THE SCHOOL EDITION The classic film performed on stage with all the favorite characters; Danny, Sandy, Rizzo, Frenchy and more. Dec. 11-13 and Dec. 18-20; Fri-Sat at 7 pm, Sat at 3 pm and Sun at 2 pm. $8-$12.

Theater Arts for Children, 2114 N. Pines. tacspokane.com (995-6718) THE WIZARD OF OZ Join Dorothy, the

Scarecrow, the Tinman, the Cowardly Lion and Toto as they travel the universe of Dorothy’s imagination. Through Dec. 20, Fri at 7 pm, Sat-Sun at 2 pm. $12/ adult; $8/age 12 and under. Spokane Children’s Theatre, 2727 N. Madelia. spokanechildrentheatre.org

VISUAL ARTS

COLLECT UGLY SWEATER PARTY Featuring the Seven2 DrawOff (Tiffany Patterson, Jon Deviny, Aaron Abolofia and others), Spokane Doesn’t Suck merch and a live vinyl-only DJ. Dec. 18, 8 pm. Free. The Bartlett, 228 W. Sprague. thebartlettspokane.com HOLIDAY OPEN HOUSE The gallery showcases the work of local fiber artists alongside a variety of work in other medium. Most work is priced at or under $100. Refreshments are served to guests browsing the gallery. Dec. 19, 11 am-7 pm. New Moon Art Gallery, 1326 E. Sprague. (413-9101) HOLIDAY OPEN STUDIO & SALE Trackside invites the community for a cup of holiday cheer. Find handmade bowls in the “Ode to Bowls” exhibit or view original ceramic works by studio artists Chris Kelsey, Mark Moore and Gina Freuen. Dec. 19, 12-4 pm. Free.

Trackside Studio, 115 S. Adams St. tracksidestudio.net (863-9904) SPOKANE SOCIAL SKETCH Spend an afternoon drawing, sketching, collaborating, and socializing with other creatives. Social Sketch happens every last Sunday of the month, from 2-5 pm, and is open to all (and any skill level). Bring your art supplies.

Free. Boots Bakery & Lounge, 24 W. Main. facebook.com/socialsketching

WORDS

TIM HATTENBURG The local author discusses “Death Ride: A Little Boy’s Night of Terror,” a nonfiction book he co-authored with Becky Hattenburg.

Dec. 17, 2-4 pm. Free. Moran Prairie Library, 6004 S. Regal. (893-8340) READING: JEREMY PHILLIPS The Spokane author reads from his new young adult novel “My Buddhist Christmas,” about a conflicted, angsty teen guitarist. Dec. 17, 7-8 pm. Free.

Auntie’s, 402 W. Main. (838-0206) READING: MADDISON BECKLEY A reading of Beckley’s new book, “A Tale of Twisted Love: The Heartbreak Killer.” Perfect for Dexter fans, this novel features a serial killer who falls in love with a detective’s daughter.

Dec. 18, 7-8 pm. Free. Auntie’s Bookstore, 402 W. Main. auntiesbooks.com MARK GOLDEN BOOK SIGNING “Ring of Torrents: A Jewish Mary” is a vividly-imagined historical novel exploring the Jewish life of Mary. Dec. 19, 1-3 pm. Free. Auntie’s Bookstore, 402 W. Main Ave. auntiesbooks.com READING: INLANDER HISTORIES VOL. 2 Inlander publisher Ted McGregor reads excerpts from the second collection of historical features printed in the Inlander. Dec. 21, 7 pm.

Free. Auntie’s, 402 W. Main. bit.ly/InlanderHistories (838-0206) SPOKANE POETRY SLAM Competitive performance poetry, in which poets are judged by 5 audience judges, chosen at random. Third Monday of the month at 8 pm; doors open at 7 pm. $5. The Bartlett, 228 W. Sprague. spokanepoetryslam.org (747-2174) n

DECEMBER 17, 2015 INLANDER 51

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DECEMBER 17, 2015 INLANDER 53

pictures when the latter was first introduced.

“It’s a new way of thinking,” he says. “A new way of accessing information. A new way of interacting with that information and with other people, and it has the potential to change how we think.”

A

NovaWake co-founders Anna Czoski and Lew Strachman. YOUNG KWAK PHOTO

A Whole New World Spokane-based NovaWake Studios is exploring the limitless possibilities of virtual reality

BY CHEY SCOTT

Y

ou’re floating through space. Afraid of heights?

Don’t look down as you pass over the unfathomably deep crevasses. Inside a massive cavern filled with branching passages, galactic bodies ringed in space dust are suspended all around. Planets spin in harmony as soft classical music guides your floating journey through the celestial setting.

Spaceships, time travel and alternate realities aren’t needed should you embark on this wholly immersive adventure. As long as the technology required is at hand, anyone can float peacefully through the calming realms of outer space. But for now, at least, it’ll have to be inside the Time Traveler Lounge at NovaWake Studio’s east Spokane headquarters, where explorers can travel through space and time, and experience the magic of another reality — virtual reality.

The fledgling startup’s aforementioned virtual reality (VR for short) experience, Gravity Compass, immerses users inside a vast, imaginary world — in what’s more of an exploratory artistic project than a plot- or actiondriven video game. Gravity Compass is just one of countless experiments in the emerging technology that employs 3-D headsets to make users feel like they’ve actually been transported inside the digital scene before them, which encompasses the human eye’s full field of vision.

You’ve probably seen the futuristic headsets — clunky, big, lensless goggles in all black. Though not too sleek-

54 INLANDER DECEMBER 17, 2015

looking from the outside, the limitless scope of digital worlds that can be projected to viewers on the inside are truly mind-boggling, especially to first-time users. Likewise, figuring out how to create these virtual worlds from a programming perspective is just as awe-inspiring.

“It’s a total research and development project,” says Lew Strachman, 68, one of NovaWake’s two co-founders.

His engineering-centric professional background includes leading a team that developed the first digital angiogram system for testing the human heart, and working on remote-sensing satellites.

“Everything is new. Just understanding how to move, how to construct the environments, the animations, the light. Everything has to take into account a whole new way of rendering and putting it together because it requires so much computing power,” Strachman continues.

“It’s hard.”

While gaming is one of the most fitting and widely explored early applications of virtual reality technology, industry experts and developers — including Strachman and NovaWake co-founder Anna Czoski — see its uses encompassing all disciplines, from art and education to communication, business, medical research and beyond.

The possibilities at this stage of development and experimentation are innumerable.

Strachman likens the eventual widespread adoption of virtual reality to the jump from live theater to motion

s it pushes boundaries in virtual reality programming and offering experiences open to the general public (because it’s so new, VR experiences are currently fairly limited), NovaWake is also putting Spokane on the map for its contributions to the technology’s development. The small, self-funded studio, which employs three computer programmers alongside the two founders, has opened one of the first virtual reality theaters in the U.S. At NovaWake’s Time Traveler Lounge, located at 1521 E. Illinois Ave., the public can experience its projects, like Gravity Compass (which was also featured at the Terrain arts showcase in October), for themselves in a living-room-like space filled with computers hooked up to VR headsets. The theater/arcade/studio hybrid is already listed as a venue on the movie ticketing site Fandango.

“It’s important to note that our audience is not just the gaming marketplace, it’s the same people who would visit a movie theater or watch television,” Strachman explains. “Some are gamers, but it’s a general audience, because the experience is possible for everyone.”

One of those experiences that most resembles a video game is NovaWake’s first project, Nova Asteroids.

After strapping on the Oculus Rift headset, players, in a standing position, move their body to avoid being hit by asteroids flying toward them.

“People know the asteroids aren’t going to come at you, but you feel the sort of anxiety you might have if something was rushing toward your face,” Czoski explains.

Still in development with plans for more levels and features to be added, Nova Asteroids was featured for a few months this summer at the Northwest Museum of Arts & Culture, where hundreds of people tried the game, providing valuable feedback for the development team.

NovaWake has developed most of its products so far for the Oculus Rift, one of the leading virtual reality headsets on the market. Oculus’ parent company was notably bought by Facebook last year for $2 billion. Currently its headsets are only available to developers; as of recently the kits were sold out.

At NovaWake, developers also are programming content on the HTC Vive headset. To create the games and experiences for these headsets, the team uses the cross-platform game creation software Unity. Czoski, 29, who has degrees in digital art and animation, oversees the art direction for the studio’s projects. The team also is working on a story-driven experience based on Edgar Allan Poe’s “The Tell-Tale Heart,” and an interactive, multiplayer game that involves dinosaurs and the food chain.

“What’s neat for me is that now the cost of VR and the computer power is low enough for a wide variety of people to experiment with it,” Czoski says. “So people are finding innovative and unique ways of using it, and we can all use techniques that others have explored. That’s why imagination is your only limitation.” n cheys@inlander.com Through Dec. 31, NovaWake hosts a kiosk on the first level of River Park Square where the public can try out Gravity Compass and Nova Asteroids during mall hours for $6.

Keeping Christ In Christmas!

DECEMBER 17, 2015 INLANDER 55