Inlander 03/26/2015 by The Inlander

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INSIDE

COMMENT: DISSOLVE ALL GOVERNMENT

| ASCENDING ARTIST: BRIAN HOUGHTON

| GET HARD IS TOO SOFT

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MARCH 26-APRIL 1, 2015 | VOL. 22, NO. 23

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EDUCATION

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INLANDER 1227 WEST SUMMIT PARKWAY, SPOKANE, WA 99201 PHONE: 509-325-0634 | EMAIL: INFO@INLANDER.COM Follow us on Facebook, Twitter, RSS and at Inlander.com THE INLANDER is a locally owned, independent newspaper founded on Oct. 20, 1993. Printed on newsprint that is at least 50 percent recycled; please recycle THE INLANDER after you’re done with it. One copy free per person per week; extra copies are $1 each (call x226). For ADVERTISING information, email advertising@inlander.com. To have a SUBSCRIPTION mailed to you, call x213 ($50 per year). To find one of our more than 1,000 NEWSRACKS where you can pick up a paper free every Thursday, call x226 or email justinh@inlander.com. THE INLANDER is a member of the Association of Alternative Newsmedia. All contents of this newspaper are protected by United States copyright law. © 2015, Inland Publications, Inc.

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COMMENT STAFF DIRECTORY PHONE: 509-325-0634 Ted S. McGregor Jr. (tedm@inlander.com) PUBLISHER

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DO YOU THINK STUDENTS SHOULD HAVE A FOUR-DAY SCHOOL WEEK INSTEAD OF A FIVE-DAY WEEK?

It’s cool to have a four-day week, but I feel like that’s too much of a break in between class times and you forget what you learned. I think students would be happier with a four-day week, but I really think the three-day break is too long.

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I would say actually that’s kind of a good idea, just because it gives you more time to actually do the work that’s required of you. It’s kind of an interesting concept. What should students to do with that day off? I feel like it would be important to use it for school, or activities related to school.

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PATRICK CONWAY

I think it would be a good idea to make a fourday school week because then you have an extra day that could be dedicated to extracurriculars. And I’ve read a few studies that say that social development is really important, and I think to have another day for that would be really beneficial for high school, middle, or elementary ages.

URIAH MITCHELL

Having been a teacher’s aide and worked with kids on literacy tutoring, I find that five days seem to be much better. … I think what should be focused on more is the content and how you’re teaching students, as opposed to how many days.

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I’m definitely in support. I’ve gone from a fourday school week to a five-day school week and having that extra day to relax and do homework, I think, really improved my grades and social life. It really helped with my work and life balance.

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COMMENT | JUSTICE

Defending the System

FAMILY LAW

The American criminal justice system guarantees a defense for all, but it takes dedicated professionals to make it happen

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ohn Adams, Kootenai County’s chief public defender, comes across as a tough, quickthinking, fast-talking character out of a TV crime series. As it turns out, Adams is not acting; he’s the genuine article. He’s willing to fight for a fair trial for his clients along with a fair deal for his staff. Adams has practiced in the field of criminal justice since his graduation from the University of Arizona’s law school in 1983. In 1996 he was hired to be a public defender in Coeur d’Alene; he has now been chief public defender for Kootenai County for more than 18 years. Asked why he chose criminal defense for a career, Adams responded that when he was young he read novels about being a lawyer: “It made me think that being a lawyer was a noble goal. And helping people most in need would be a noble profession.” The wall behind Adams’ desk is covered with diplomas, certificates and awards. Most recently, the American Civil Liberties Union of Idaho added its annual Civil Rights Service Award to the collection. In the awards ceremony, the Idaho ACLU executive director said, “Despite a broken public defender system in the state, John has been able to establish what is arguably the best public defense system possible.”

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consider Adams and his stable of 15 lawyers to be among our county’s unsung heroes. In and out of court, they represent individuals charged with crimes or misdemeanors who cannot afford to hire a private lawyer. Their clients are the neediest because they can’t afford a private attorney, and because, according to Adams, “They have the bulwark of the government against them.” The charges against the accused individuals are brought by prosecuting attorneys, whose accusations are backed by sheriffs’ troopers or city or state police. The clients’ notoriety may be fanned by radio, TV and newspapers. The accused individuals may be damned and pre-convicted by public opinion. Guilty or not guilty, the object of all the attention is in a very powerless position. In addition to being too poor to hire a lawyer, the accused individual may be uneducated, mentally or emotionally disturbed, friendless and alone. Don’t get me wrong. These public defenders are not bleeding-heart liberals. They don’t condone stealing, wife-beating, murder or any of the crimes that someone charged before the court may face. The public defenders are there to assure that the constitutional right to a fair trial is available to everyone, regardless of financial status. Unfortunately, the lawyers on the county legal defense team are carrying workloads far

heavier than American Bar Association standards recommend. Several are pushing 200 percent of the allowable hours. Even the smartest lawyers cannot sustain such a load without making errors or letting some cases slip. Former Prosecuting Attorney Bill Douglas cautions against cutting corners when it comes to the legal defense budget. “It is absolutely essential for every person accused of a crime to have the best representation possible,” Douglas told me. “It’s in the best interest of the county and its taxpayers to protect legitimate convictions from costly, time-consuming appeals. And it’s in the best interest of justice as LETTERS well,” Douglas Send comments to concluded. editor@inlander.com. The U.S. Supreme Court held in the landmark 1963 Gideon v. Wainwright decision that the Sixth Amendment of the Bill of Rights requires government, be it federal, county, city or state, to provide legal counsel for defendants charged with crimes if they cannot afford to hire a private attorney. National figures show that close to 85 to 95 percent of persons charged with offenses cannot afford a private attorney.

daho is not alone in overworking and underpaying its public defense teams. It’s another dirty little secret that, across the country, jurisdictions don’t provide adequate resources to assure fair representation for all the indigents accused of big crimes or lesser misdemeanors. In the past few years, the well-publicized Innocence Project has shined a bright light on the tragic record of judges and juries who have sent wrongfully convicted people to prison. With the use of DNA, the diligent young advocates of the Innocence Project have now cleared 325 innocent victims, all of whom have spent a significant chunk of their lives behind bars. Inadequate legal representation is one of the major causes leading to wrongful convictions. Any jurisdiction that fails to live up to the Gideon requirement of competent legal representation for the indigent has the threat of a lawsuit hanging like a cloud over its future. Kootenai County is fortunate to have the strong leadership of John Adams in the public defender’s office, and a troop of good lawyers to soldier with him on the Gideon Trail. Justice, when appropriately blind, can act like the lady she is. 

COMMENT | PUBLISHER’S NOTE

Those Teeth Are Sharp

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BY TED S. McGREGOR JR.

here’s that scene in Jaws, out on the ocean, when Roy Scheider’s character, local sheriff Martin Brody, is dumping chum and trying to catch a glimpse of the shark that’s been terrorizing Amity Island. He keeps dumping the shark bait until the great white surfaces just a few feet from his face — 25 feet and three tons of coldblooded killer. “You’re gonna need a bigger boat,” he tells Robert Shaw’s Quint. For some reason, that scene played in my head after Sen. Ted Cruz announced earlier this week that he’d be running for president. It took about a nanosecond for the trolls to hit Twitter, the pundits to pounce — even his “friends” at the Wall Street Journal snapped at him. His competitors in the GOP field have to be horrified to see what happened to the first guy to jump in. Yes, there are sharks down there. And no, he can’t feel his legs. GOP honchos must be thinking about that scene, too: “We’re gonna need a better candidate.” This is just the first act in what should be a long, careful dance between candidates, the media, the Internet and the general public. Four years ago, the GOP was stung by a long, drawn-out campaign season that bloodied all their candidates. This time, watch for fewer debates and carefully orchestrated roll-outs; the Cruz announcement is already the case study in doing it wrong. The Dems will be orchestrating, too — of course Hillary Clinton is running, but her handlers want to play it coy until the last possible moment. But try as they might, candidates just aren’t in control anymore. America has become hyperaware — heck, we already know the adoring students at Cruz’s announcement were threatened with fines if they did not attend. Perhaps that instant transparency is a benefit of our Internet era. But the downside is that we get mesmerized by the stupid stuff; our attention span can be described as “gnat-like.” You can count on a Kardashian moment to erase even the biggest campaign fail. There’s a Spanish Armada’s worth of cannon fire waiting for the day Hillary Clinton announces for president. Lucky for her, she may be semiimmune, having spent most of her life stuck in the muck of (mostly bogus) scandals. Her bigger problem — and Jeb Bush’s, too — could be that in all her care to not offend, she could become simply too boring. And in an America that demands to be entertained, nobody’s buying vanilla. Somehow we’ve turned our presidential campaigns into a roiling, shark-infested sea. We’re all going to need a bigger brain to get through this one. 

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COMMENT | IDAHO

CALEB WALSH ILLUSTRATION

A Simple Plan Impeaching judges and other modest proposals to shrink government BY JOHN T. REUTER

espite bipartisan opposition, last week the Idaho House of Representatives passed a memorial to Congress calling for the impeachment of federal judges. North Idaho Representative Paul Shepherd, who said during the debate that he wished he could have impeached Chief Justice Earl Warren, sponsored the measure.

Besides chairing the Warren Commission, which investigated the assassination of President John F. Kennedy, and serving a decade as governor of California, Earl Warren is best known for a series of Supreme Court decisions. Under Warren, the court ended school segregation, strengthened the rights of the accused, ended public school-sponsored prayers, and instituted the “one man, one vote” rules for congressional apportionment. The decisions of the Warren Court have become

fundamental pillars in protecting the minority and the individual from the totalitarian rule of the majority. It’s exactly the idea of the rights of the individual, and the court’s responsibility to protect those rights, that was under attack on the floor of the Idaho House last week. In particular, the stated target was recent rulings in favor of the freedom to marry, but the goal was actually much larger: to ensure that the judiciary was subservient to the legislature and the will of the majority. Our rights are too important and simultaneously too fragile to be trusted to the whims of majority rule. It’s for exactly this reason that we have the Bill of Rights, or a constitution at all for that matter. The entire concept of balance of powers is built on the notion that no one branch of government will be in complete control. But the Idaho House declared last week that they didn’t like that constitutional notion. They should have the power over everything and everyone, and no judge should be able to get in the way of how they choose to treat minorities or individual citizens. Perhaps they’ve got a point. It would certainly be more efficient to toss out the Constitution — Bill of Rights and all — eliminate the judiciary and allow 50 percent plus one of the population to do anything they choose. Of course, even then in most states, the governor still has the power to veto bills and interfere with the legislature’s power. No worries. If we’re already eliminating the judiciary’s independence, why not eliminate the executive branch, too? That would create a simple and effective government that would finally let the Idaho House have the power they deserve — except there’s still this pesky body across the rotunda: the Idaho Senate. All too often the Idaho House’s best ideas, like impeaching judges, are stopped in the Idaho Senate. Senators say the proposals are too extreme and not based on “facts.” Simple solution: eliminate the Idaho Senate, too. Then, finally, the Idaho House would have the power it deserves — except there’s the matter of enforcement. Why give that power to the state police when we can simply give every House member a siren to throw on top of their car; they can pull people over whenever they see a violation. And since they’re now acting as the judiciary, they can simply pull over the next 12 cars and conduct a jury trial right there on the side of the road. Or we could keep the American constitutional system we’ve known and loved for more than 225 years. Tough call. Or at least it apparently is for a majority of the Idaho House. n John T. Reuter, a former Sandpoint Councilman, has been active in protecting Idaho’s environment, expanding LGBT rights and the Idaho GOP.

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COMMENT | FROM READERS

WEpokane’s BREATHE THE SAME AIR growing arts and entertainment scene is something everyone

in our community can take pride in, and hopefully everyone has the opportunity to experience it. The partnership of many local agencies, along with the cooperation of our residents, ensures that our community’s health, as well as workers’ health, is protected while participating in these events. Spokane Regional Health District is one of these agencies. In Spokane County, we enforce RCW 70.160.050, Washington’s Smoking in Public Places Law. In response to last week’s letter, “No Care for Clean Air,” (3/19/15) the health district began checking in with management from several local concert venues, including the Fox Theater, which is taking steps to avoid future smoking complaints. Smoking — whether it is tobacco, LETTERS marijuana, cigars, hookah or other Send comments to lighted smoking equipment — in a editor@inlander.com. public place or place of employment violates the Smoking in Public Places Law, a law designed to protect people from secondhand smoke. Encouragingly, during recent inspections, it was evident that most business owners have made great strides in placing signs at building entrances and prohibiting smoking indoors and within 25 feet of building doors, windows that open and ventilation intakes. Some bar and restaurant owners requested clarification about whether it is permissible to allow customers to smoke on patios and other outdoor dining areas. It is not. The law was designed to protect employees’ and the public’s health from secondhand smoke, and this includes areas where employees are required to go such as serving on outdoor patios and beer gardens. SRHD encourages the public to report violations of the Smoking in Public Places Law. Complaints of violations can be reported by calling the health district’s Smoking Complaint Line at 509-232-1707. SRHD’s website, srhd.org, also offers free signage, answers to frequently asked questions and compliance checklists.

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BOYZ II MEN JEREMY THORNTON: Get rid of the mosquitoes. Turn all the east-west streets downtown into two ways. Make parking free. “No sit no lie” law has to go! GEORGE DANTE: I haven’t found any problems dealing with folks downtown. The older generation needs to be treated with the respect they feel they deserve. If you do not show proper deference, you won’t last long here. JOHN PHILLIP: The “Good Old Boy” network is the thing that is holding Spokane back. Something needs to be done about this. Of course, slowly but surely Spokane is changing. There is nothing that these miserable old white men can do about it. We all need to push to get the changes we want here. We need to change Spokane economically, socially, culturally, and, yes, politically. If these Old Boys get in our way, we need to just go around them. That or ignore them. I guess we should be patient as their kind will eventually be extinct. 

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CHRIS BOVEY ILLUSTRATION

EDUCATION

Four Days A Week Idaho schools that dropped one day a week from their schedule are saving a little money — but at what cost? BY DANIEL WALTERS

t Valley View Elementary School in Bonners Ferry, Idaho, students get this Friday off. Same with next Friday. And the Friday after that. For students at every school in the Boundary County School District, there are three-day weekends as far as the eye can see. Instead of five, students attend four days a week. The school year is only 141 days. Instead, to meet the state-required number of class time hours, school days are longer. The crew of 22 5-and-6-year-olds rolls into Lauren Bartoe’s Valley View kindergarten class at 8 am, and they don’t leave for the bus until nearly 4 pm. In one sense, Bartoe loves it. It means a day to catch

up on all of her errands — “to run to the bank and the grocery store and make doctor’s appointments and get a haircut.” But as a teacher, she doesn’t believe four-day weeks are good for the kids. Eight hours is a long time for kindergartners. That’s especially true at the beginning of the year. “They have more breakdowns,” Bartoe says. “‘Somebody cut me in line’ — they burst out crying. You have more behavioral problems.” By the end of the day, she’s exhausted too, and her patience is frayed. Yet in the small rural communities that speckle Idaho, the four-day school week has only increased in popularity.

In the fall of 2008, just 14 Idaho school districts and two charter schools were using the four-day schedule. Today, that’s grown to 42 school districts and 11 charter schools. Many in those four-day districts say they don’t ever want to go back.

or the past three months, Paul Hill, founder of the Center on Reinventing Public Education, has been calling administrators in small towns throughout Idaho, asking about four-day school weeks. “It’s way too soon to know whether it’s going to have a good impact on kids,” he says. Idaho has been debating precisely that question. In a state superintendent debate last fall, Sherri Ybarra — the ultimate victor — repeatedly brought up the four-day week as an example of where the state had failed to provide even “adequate” funding to its schools. Her opponent, Jana Jones, agreed, arguing that the schedules came about only because of financial necessity. In 2006, Idaho Gov. Jim Risch’s budget radically changed the way the state approached school funding, hitting property-poor districts particularly hard. “Yes, that destabilized education,” Ybarra said. “And it created the haves and the have-nots.” For sprawling rural districts, with sky-high busing ...continued on next page

MARCH 26, 2015 INLANDER 13

NEWS | EDUCATION “FOUR DAYS A WEEK,” CONTINUED...

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with four-day schedules. “There is one big benefit we keep seeing,” Hill says. “It’s becoming very popular among some teachers.” Some districts, struggling to attract teachers given Idaho’s low teacher salaries, Hill says, use the long weekends as a selling point. Deborah Davis, a second-grade teacher at Valley View, started out as a skeptic when the district transitioned, but now says she’s a believer. Fridays without classes give her more time to complete work and prepare for the next week. Hill says that many districts justify their fourday schedules by saying they’ll use the day off each week for teacher training and collaboration. But he worries that commitment will be chipped away at over time. In Orofino, teacher collaboration days are only every other Friday. In Bonners Ferry, they take place one Friday a month. They need the time. The odd schedule means teachers have to solve new puzzles: Nearly every curriculum is designed with the five-day model in mind. Teachers have to slice off pieces of lesson plans from one day, Bartoe says, and stick them onto another.

arents and kids adapt as well. Marianne Beazer, the mother of several students at Bonners Ferry schools, says that the compressed week means homework has a tendency to pile up. “Wednesday nights are always crazy,” says Beazer. “By the time our kids hit Thursday night, they’re pretty worn out.” For their busy family,

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costs, switching to a four-day schedule seemed particularly appealing. But Boundary County’s superintendent recently told Idaho Ed News that while the 2007 switch to a four-day schedule saved money — they’d be bankrupt without it — the savings weren’t nearly as much as some expected. After all, most big costs, like teacher salaries, are fixed. In 2011, a report prepared by the Education Commission of the States estimated that the average district could save less than 6 percent, at most, by switching to a four-day schedule. But money isn’t everything. “The board and the community have no interest in going back to a five-day week,” says Robert Vian, superintendent of the Orofino Joint School District. “Zero.” He couldn’t be more positive. “It’s not about the number of days you go to school,” says Vian. “It’s the quality of school you go to.” In Orofino, Vian says it hasn’t appeared to have hurt academics or test scores. And it’s had a clearly positive impact on attendance — crucial to stopping kids from dropping out — partly because the day off gives kids time to “to go to the doctor, to get their prom dress, to get their hair cut.” Unfortunately, Hill says the scientific research into the academic impact of the five-day school week is thin. Some of it is encouraging: A 2011 Northwest Missouri State University review found no difference in test scores in schools with four-day schedules. On the other hand, Idaho already has one of the lowest rates of high school graduates who go to college, and on average, the rate is significantly lower at the schools

LO C A L

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www.komeneasternwashington.org 14 INLANDER MARCH 26, 2015

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Lauren Bartoe at Valley View Elementary School. DIANNA COSSAIRT PHOTO however, the three-day weekends are worth it. Gary Pflueger, principal at Valley View, suggests that threeday weekends are wonderful for the haves — the families who can afford daycare or to have a parent stay home — but not always for the have-nots. “We have kids that are not under good care when they’re not in school,” Pflueger says. For some, another day without school means another day without supervision or free school meals. “We’ve seen some localities where businesses are adapting,” Hill says. They’ve switched to four-day weeks too, allowing their employees to take care of their kids on Fridays. Last Friday, 27 kids, ranging from kindergarten through sixth grade, were dropped off by their parents at Boundary County Middle School. School isn’t in session, but the 4-H Friday Friends takes over, giving students hands-on lessons in, say, history, science or how to be a good friend. With sliding-scale fees, it’s cheaper than daycare. But this solution is a fragile one: The 4-H program loses its grant funding this spring, forcing the organization to seek private donations to continue. “A lot of our kids are from single parent households,” program coordinator Nati Summerfield says. “A lot of them are the kids who wouldn’t have anywhere else to go.” n EMPLOYMENT AT THE UNIVERSITY OF WASHINGTON

DIRECTOR SPOKANE & EASTERN WASHINGTON RELATIONS Outstanding opportunity to provide representation and coordination for government, business and community relations in support of UW in general and its growing medical education and dental programs. This position will be based out of the new UW Spokane Center. TO VIEW THE POSTING and TO APPLY: please visit www.uw.edu/jobs; click START your job search; enter Req #117466 in the search box. AA/EOE

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The Dancing Eagle drum group performs during the 22nd Anniversary Powwow held last week at the Coeur d’Alene Casino Resort Hotel in Worley, Idaho. Hundreds of dancers and drummers came from Washington, Idaho and Montana to the powwow (one even came from Alaska). Such events have historically been used by tribes to preserve culture and build relationships.

On Inlander.com MORE INLANDER NEWS EVERY DAY

USER ERRORS | Last year, the Inlander took a look at Idaho’s statewide “instructional management system” that was intended to allow schools to seamlessly share tests, lesson plans and student data across the state. But in reality, teachers reported, it was glitch-prone, poorly organized and excruciatingly slow. A report this week from the state’s Office of Performance Evaluations laid out just how dramatically the Idaho State Department Of Education failed in managing the system’s development — racking up $61 million in sunk costs. On the blog, we detail the report’s findings of how the department downplayed serious problems and failed to hold the system’s designers to standards. (DANIEL WALTERS)

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CHILD’S PLAY | The Washington State Department of Health released the results of its Healthy Youth Survey, which examines kid’s attitudes on DRUGS AND ALCOHOL, finding that one in five 10th graders and one in four 12th graders used marijuana in the last month. These rates have stayed the same since 2010, and Spokane County has about the same number of 10th and 12th graders who have used marijuana in the same month. Although the state hasn’t seen an explosion in youth pot use since voters legalized the drug in 2012, state officials have expressed concern that more teens aren’t viewing marijuana as “risky.” (JAKE THOMAS)

NEWS | BRIEFS

Odds And Ends Idaho lawmakers are pulled in lots of directions; plus, SPD weighs a “culture audit” KNIVES, HORSES AND SALAMANDERS

As the IDAHO LEGISLATURE prepares to wrap up its work in the next few weeks, the fate of bills big and small have begun to come into focus. A long-in-the-works $125 million bill restructuring the Idaho teacher payscale — bumping up starting pay and laying out the route to salary increases — passed the Idaho House with little debate on Monday. A controversial bill banning local knife regulations, however, died in a House committee under a flurry of concerns: Would it allow knives in schools? In prisons? And despite threats that Boise’s Les Bois horse racing park would be forced to close, a bill undoing the legalization of slot-like “historical horse racing” machines passed the House State Affairs Committee. The legislation had already been approved overwhelmingly in the Senate. Elsewhere, North Idaho Reps. Vito Barbieri, Ron Mendive and Kathy Sims voted against the Health and Welfare Budget item that includes $1.7 million funding specifically for a long-desired North Idaho mental health crisis center, but both houses approved the funding of the crisis center anyway. The lack of North Idaho legislative support for the measure last year caused Idaho Falls to get the first crisis center. Finally, an eighth grader’s proposal to name the Idaho giant salamander the official state amphibian —

previously killed over concerns of “federal overreach” — was resurrected and passed the House overwhelmingly Monday. — DANIEL WALTERS

WORKING FOR RIGHTS

ENVISION SPOKANE, the driving force behind two unsuccessful initiatives that would have put a sweeping Community Bill of Rights into the city charter, has filed a new worker’s rights initiative with the Spokane City Clerk that could appear on the November ballot. The new Worker Bill of Rights, filed March 17, includes four provisions that include a guarantee to a “family wage” for employees at large companies; a right to equal pay regardless of gender, gender identity, race, ethnicity, familial status, religion and other categories; a requirement that employers have “just cause” to terminate an employee; and a limitation on the legal rights of corporations to challenge the initiative if passed. Kai Huschke, campaign coordinator for Envision Spokane, says his group is pursuing the new initiative because the Community Bill of Rights remains stuck in legal limbo. In 2013, a coalition of business groups and elected officials successfully sued to keep the measure of the ballot on grounds that it addressed subject matter

outside the scope of the initiative system. In January, an appeals court reversed a lower court’s opinion allowing the Community Bill of Rights initiative to move forward. However, Huschke says that opponents of that initiative filed a motion to have the court reconsider, stalling it for the time being. Huschke says he expects supporters to be out collecting signatures by mid April to get the Worker Bill of Rights qualified for the November ballot. — JAKE THOMAS

STATUS UPDATE

The final letter from members of the USE OF FORCE COMMISSION expressed a fair amount of faith in Spokane Police Chief Frank Straub. The commission is satisfied with the Spokane Police Department’s efforts to comply with most of its recommendations from 2012. However, the recommendation for a cultural audit is now left up to the chief. Members of the commission acknowledged conversations with Straub in which he detailed his efforts to gain an understanding of the department’s organizational culture through interviews with officers, though it’s unclear if that will suffice, in part because the commission did not specifically define a cultural audit in its recommendation. “We take Chief Straub at his word on this and defer to his judgment,” the letter states. Police spokeswoman Monique Cotton says the department is in biweekly discussion with the Department of Justice Community Oriented Policing Services (C.O.P.S) program about potentially developing a culture audit tool and evaluating if the audit is still necessary among other topics. “This is an ongoing dialogue with the Department of Justice,” Cotton says. “We’re following their lead in this area.” — MITCH RYALS

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NEWS | POLICE

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Spokane County Sheriff Ozzie Knezovich would welcome an ombudsman. YOUNG KWAK PHOTO

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heriff Ozzie Knezovich has a lot on his mind. Amid all the debate about body cameras in the Washington State Legislature and the vacancy in Spokane’s Office of Police Ombudsman, law enforcement transparency and accountability are near the top of the list. However, it doesn’t seem likely that the Spokane County Sheriff’s Office will follow in the Spokane Police Department’s footsteps and provide independent oversight of police investigations. “I see the value of an ombudsman because it’s somebody with an outside eye,” says Knezovich, who has previously said he wants to have the oversight of an ombudsman. “But our citizen advisory board is not in favor of a county ombudsman. They made it very crystal-clear to me: ‘That’s what we do, and we do it for free.’” The citizen advisory board consists of eight to 12 volunteers who review officer-involved shootings, internal affairs investiga-

tions and other policies within the agency — many of the responsibilities an ombudsman would take on. The board, which was established in 2000 under former Sheriff Mark Sterk and is appointed by the sheriff, meets once a month to review cases based on their own agendas, as well as those presented to them by Knezovich. “We’ve had this discussion among the board,” says board chairman Chuck Parker. “We don’t feel there’s any benefit to the county to pay extreme amounts of money to have an ombudsman. We’ve never had an issue where [the Sheriff’s Office] says ‘We can’t give you that,’ or ‘We can’t tell you that.’ The sheriff is very good about providing us the people we need to talk to or the data we need to look at.” John Nollette, a local attorney and nine-year board veteran, still sees the value in additional oversight. “I think our job is quite different than the ombudsman,” he says. “There’s no reason there shouldn’t be an independent person overseeing what’s going on, and the ombudsman would be good for both the city and county.” Proponents of countywide police oversight argue that a board of citizen volunteers appointed by the sheriff might not have as much expertise as an ombudsman with a legal and investigative

“There’s no reason there shouldn’t be an independent person overseeing what’s going on, and the ombudsman would be good for both the city and county.” background. “We’ve focused so much on the Spokane Police Department that we’ve inadvertently left the Sheriff’s Office out of the spotlight,” says Liz Moore, director of the Peace and Justice Action League of Spokane. “To me, that says we need to have that conversation.” Moore adds that she has no reason to believe the citizen advisory board is doing anything less than a fantastic job. However, she says, “It’s always cleaner to have oversight be done by folks who are not appointed by the agency they’re overseeing.” Rachel Dolezal, chair of SPD’s Office of Police Ombudsman Commission and an Inlander contributor, says expanding oversight to the county would require more commissioners to handle the extra workload. “It sounds good on paper, but it’s more difficult than just the formality of saying, ‘We’re overseeing the county,’” she says. “Not that it can’t be done, but it would look different than the current civilian oversight model.” In October of last year, Knezovich expressed interest in expanding the city police ombudsman duties to the county. He brought the idea to the Spokane County Commission just as former ombudsman Tim Burns was grappling with the decision to re-up for another term or retire. Burns decided to leave, and the question of countywide independent oversight for law enforcement was put on hold. When the police ombudsman position is filled, however, Spokane County Commissioner Todd Mielke says the decision to contract with the city ombudsman will be weighed against other accountability strategies, such as body cameras. “The question is: Which tool provides the best transparency for the public?” Mielke says. “My personal bias is that body cameras tell us more about what happened at the scene and more effectively put to rest public concerns. I think that more resoundingly convinces people than a separate investigator reviewing paperwork and taking statements after the fact.” As for the status of body cameras in the Sheriff’s Office? There’s a draft policy in place and a three-month pilot testing period has been completed. Now, Knezovich says he’s just waiting for bills in the legislature for guidance on how to deal with the footage captured by his deputies. “Everything is really in the tube,” he says. “It’s all depending on what comes out of the legislation.” n

MARCH 26, 2015 INLANDER 19

r a fe I

t’s Sunday in Seattle and the afternoon service is underway outside KeyArena. The preacher has a loudspeaker slung across his body and he’s holding the microphone too close, so his fire and brimstone is delivered to his accidental congregation with ample distortion. He has one follower in the form of a young man holding a sign reading “Repent and believe,” but nobody else is eager to sign up for the salvation he’s selling. These folks seek something else, perhaps equally intangible, on this dreary afternoon. “The glory of God is all around you, but you act like there’s not a God! You want to worship Gonzaga! We’ve got a

20 INLANDER MARCH 26, 2015

lot of people out here with their Gonzaga shirts on!” the self-styled preacher shouts. One of those people in Gonzaga gear stops and stares at his accuser. “What good is that to you if they win today? We’re talking about your eternal soul!” the crackly voice booms across the plaza. The fan waves a flippant hand toward the source of indignation and joins the horde of well-heeled Gonzaga faithful arriving to face their destiny. And if an eternal soul is the cost of a victory against Iowa, well then, that may just be the price. Nothing else has worked. Not even a No. 1 seed a couple of seasons ago could bring them to the promised land of the Sweet

d n a e th

16. And now, their team equipped with the sort of weapons rarely seen together on one squad, let alone at a school of this size, it feels like it has to happen this time. You cannot frighten these Gonzaga fans with threats of your street-corner view of hell, for they have seen something very real and very awful and, for all they know, it might be lurking on the floor of KeyArena. It’s an NCAA tournament upset, and it will wreck your eternal soul and ruin a perfectly good weekend.

t’s pouring rain in downtown Seattle, exactly what the people who flew in from Louisville or somewhere in Iowa or Orange County expected to

find when they jetted across the country on short notice. It’s dark, too, especially for the middle of a Friday afternoon in March. It’s appropriate, though, for the Wyoming and UC Irvine fans wandering around Seattle Center. By this point, both of their squads have already been bounced from the tournament. UCI lost to Louisville in a narrow, hard-fought game that couldn’t even be saved by Mamadou N’Diaye, at 7-foot-6 the tallest player in college basketball and a man whose size your brain can’t quite process when you see him in person. Wyoming, on the other hand, was soundly pummeled 71-54 by Northern Iowa earlier in

e e w, r he me co

! n o t hous ge pa 23

l u f h t i fa

ent m a n our t A A e NC h t of tle t t a r e a in S e he s h y t a e d Into e r h t over okey o B ike M y B

FROM LEFT: Kevin Pangos, Domantas Sabonis, Eric McClellan, Przemek Karnowski and Kyle Dranginis in Seattle. GONZAGA UNIVERSITY PHOTO the day, then went into a press conference and had to face the abrupt reality that its season was over. Cowboys senior Larry Nance, Jr. could barely choke out a response between tears as he sat at the podium. “I’ve had the best four years,” was all he could get out. The Wyoming fans look almost as dismayed as they wander Mercer Street on the edge of Seattle Center. Their penchant for boots and facial hair makes you think they have what it takes to bounce back. At the entrance to an Irish-themed pub down the street from the arena, a dad and his son, both in Gonzaga hats, express condolences to a pair of Wyoming

fans. The dad remembers when it was Gonzaga that was eliminted from the tournament — by Wyoming, in fact, back in 2002 — and can share the feeling. A sorry-for-your-loss seems the least you can provide to these basketball pilgrims who suddenly find themselves in an unfamiliar city with no more basketball to believe in. But as tip-off for the later games approaches on Friday, Gonzaga apparel becomes ubiquitous, and there’s plenty of familiarity for Zag fans. Hats, scarves, sweatshirts, backpacks, buttons, necklaces — all of it emblazoned with navy blue and red and the Bulldog logo, and all of it just a sliver of the nearly $5 billion college apparel industry. If you didn’t follow

college basketball, you wonder where all these people came from, and how a school of less than 6,000 undergraduates has engendered this sort of following 250 miles away from campus. It’s still hard for guys like Scott Snider to process. These days, Snider is in sales for an HVAC outfit in Portland, but in the mid-1990s, he was the resident bruiser for Gonzaga, a guy his coach Dan Fitzgerald compared to the great Kurt Rambis, which is high praise for a certain subset of player. Snider is easy to spot at the Irish bar. He’s still every bit of 6-foot-9 and is decked out in an authentically retro Gonzaga baseball jersey. “In 2001, I’d go to a game and maybe

recognize half the people there. Now, I’d probably recognize a fraction of that,” says Snider, sharing beers with friends about two hours before the Zags tipped off. “In some ways, it’s a 180 from what I remember, but it’s all good things,” he says. It’s an older crowd in the Irish pub, and no one seems shy to share their Gonzaga memories. A couple of founding members of the Kennel Club are seated in a booth. They’re part of a group of 10 original members who’ve made the games in Seattle a reunion, and they’ve made “Kennel Club Founder” T-shirts for the occasion. One of them, Mike Shields, tells ...continued on next page

MARCH 26, 2015 INLANDER 21

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stories of house parties and face paint and teams that weren’t really that good. Things, he says, have come a very, very long way.

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Kevin Pangos drilled four 3-pointers to defeat Iowa. GONZAGA UNIVERSITY PHOTO

heir signs say they’re looking to buy your extra tickets, but they can sell you some, too. That’s good for them, because it’s a seller’s market at the NCAA tournament in Seattle, where tickets have long been sold out, unless you could get in on seats allocated to your school. There were plenty of online options to put down a month’s mortgage for premium seats, but on game day, you’re going to have to go analog. The scalpers surround the arena and they can smell a mark from half a mile away. “You selling tickets?” they’ll ask. And when you say no, they whisper to see if you need tickets. Approaching halftime of the Iowa vs. Davidson predecessor to the Gonzaga-North Dakota State game, prices are still steep, but there’s some wiggle room. “Best I can do is $175 for these,” a guy in a Seahawks hat and shoulder-length dreads says regarding tickets he said were about halfway up the lower level. “You just wanna get in the door? I got a couple singles, I’d do $125 for each of those,” he said, showing upper-level seats emblazoned with a $66 face value. No matter how many great moments the NCAA tournament gives us on the court, it’s hard to ignore the money. It’s both hidden and everywhere at the same time. There’s the roughly $700 million TV contract, and again the apparel, and then the sponsorships that are all but plastered onto the eyeballs of viewers, even those in the arena. Meanwhile, there’s Gary Bell, Jr., who has the grand fortune of playing NCAA tournament games just minutes from home (Bell grew up in Kent, south of Seattle) during his senior year, yet doesn’t see legions of friends and family in the stands due to the prohibitive cost of entry. Players get two tickets each to give out, but everyone else is on their own. “My mom and dad will make it to the games, but nobody else, though. The tickets are really expensive,” Bell told the Inlander on Selection

Sunday. Inside the arena, as the Gonzaga faithful get to their seats in time to see enough of Iowa’s 31-point annihilation of Davidson to fear the Hawkeyes, there’s a notable absence. While Gonzaga plays its home games to 1,200 students uniformly dressed and standing en masse for the entire length of the court, the scene at the NCAA tournament is much different. There are some GU kids here, but no rollicking student section, and you’d need binoculars to find them up near the rafters. A Gonzaga senior says they only got 50 tickets, so it’s a small but vocal crew they’re working with here in Seattle. Needless to say, there’s no “Zombie Nation” dance/chant, the hallmark of the Kennel Club, to be found in the minutes prior to Gonzaga’s tipoff with North Dakota State, and that’s a damn shame. College basketball is a hell of a lot more fun when you put a thousand or so 21-year-olds who value loyalty over inhibition right next to the court.

e looks like he’s just finished dropping the transmission out of somebody’s farm truck when someone handed him a green-and-yellow jersey. More plausibly, perhaps he’s a reserve tight end on North Dakota State’s juggernaut of a football team, and first-year head coach David Richman thought he might be able to warm an empty seat on the bench. But apparently Dexter Werner is a real basketball player, capable of coming off the bench and scoring 22 points against Gonzaga’s big men, who are among the best in the country. With each playground-speed spin move and miraculous heave at the basket, Werner gained the sort of weird confidence that’s been known to take over players in the NCAA tournament and can generate the winds of upset. “I trip on a guy’s foot and fade away and bank it in. You know, sometimes you got to keep it going. I took some looks I probably wouldn’t regularly take, but I was hitting, so… ” he says after the game, looking appropriately exhausted. It was enough to make you forget that for most of this guy’s confounding outpouring of scoring, the Zags were up by 10 points or so. ...continued on page 24

NCAA South Regional NRG Stadium, Houston, Texas

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erennial powerhouse Duke is no stranger to the late rounds of March Madness; the Blue Devils, led by legendary coach Mike Krzyzewski, are going for their fifth national title under his regime and are viewed as one of the few threats to tourney favorite Kentucky. In Jahlil Okafor, Duke has the best freshman in the country, and possibly the college Player of the Year; he scored 26 almost effortless points against San Diego State on Sunday. Utah’s run to the Sweet 16 was perhaps less expected — the result of a massive rebuilding project for a team that was among the nation’s worst three seasons ago. Credit for that goes to the Utes’ own Coach K, Larry Krystkowiak, who local fans might remember from his years playing and coaching the University of Montana. Over the weekend in Portland, Utah took down everybody’s favorite Cinderella pick, Stephen F. Austin, and then East Coast hoops icon Georgetown. Like Duke, Utah has a star freshman center in Jakob Poeltl (rhymes with “turtle”), but the team leader is NBA-caliber point guard Delon Wright, who will have to play the game of his life — along with the rest of the Utes — to hang with the Blue Devils. Duke is the better rebounding squad; Utah plays stingier defense. Both teams can bomb threes. — DAN NAILEN

• 5th ANNIVERSARY • 5th ANNIVERSARY • 5th ANNIVERSARY • 5th ANNIVERSARY •5

hen the Zags and the Bruins tip off Friday in the South Regional, it’ll match two of the West Coast’s best. But for Zags fans, there’s still that nagging wound from 2006. Sure, the Zags beat UCLA convincingly down in Westwood in December but the memory of losing a spot in the Elite Eight, with Adam Morrison and a 17-point lead, is still raw. The Bruins are an unlikely opponent, as few bracketologists thought they’d even get into this tournament. An iffy goaltending call beat SMU; then, against an interior-defenseless UAB on Saturday, they were a much different team than the one that only mustered seven first-half points against Kentucky early in the season. Gonzaga, meanwhile, gave opponents something new to worry about, as Kevin Pangos dusted off his still-deadly three-point shot, with eight bull’s-eyes in Seattle. The venue could play a role Friday: NRG Stadium, where the NFL’s Houston Texans play, is huge and cavernous and arenas aren’t usually a shooter’s friend, but Kyle Wiltjer has seen this rodeo with Kentucky as a freshman. The Zags need to handle UCLA’s Tony Parker, who is huge at 6-foot-9 and 260 pounds — well, in most games he’s huge, but Przemek Karnowski has him by four inches and 30 pounds. Coach’s son Bryce Alford can kill you if you let him run free; he lit up SMU with nine three-pointers. On Friday, shutting him down will be defensive specialist Gary Bell’s personal mission. — TED S. McGREGOR JR.

MARCH 26, 2015 INLANDER 23

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“FEAR AND THE FAITHFUL,” CONTINUED...

Gonzaga never let the game get away from them, even if the heartburn suffered by their more cautious fans said otherwise. In fact, the Zags were playing like a No. 2 seed. Kyle Wiltjer was playing a personal game of H-O-R-S-E, finishing with 23 points. Kevin Pangos allowed himself some selfishness with the ball and hit four three-pointers on the way to 18 points, while Domantas Sabonis plucked 11 rebounds in just 23 minutes on the floor. A final score of 86-76 probably didn’t look impressive as it scrolled across the SportsCenter ticker, but the notion of surviving and advancing is very real. Still, waiting in line at a selfdescribed dive bar that prides itself on being a Gonzaga-supporting establishment just blocks from the arena, an alum complained to his wife that the Zags could have played better. He was nervous, he said, about playing Iowa on Sunday. There was the curse of the Round of 32 on his mind, and for some reason he couldn’t savor the victory. Not until they got out of Seattle alive.

t’s Sunday, two hours to tip-off at that same dive bar. It’s packed, but there’s a stillness to the place. It’s a bar, of course, so people are drinking and smiling and wearing Kennel Club shirts from every year since the Clinton administration, but a thick pall of nervousness is apparent. If you add a guy on a megaphone telling you that you’re going to hell because of basketball as you head into the game, well, those nerves aren’t likely to settle. Even among the media, there’s a sort of inquisitive quiet before the game, but that might just be the weekend’s cumulative hangover taking effect on the reporters representing every national, regional and local newspaper, blog, radio station and homeowner’s association newsletter within a day’s drive. But people seem to be genuinely curious to see if the Zags, with their most talented roster to date, could get past the Round of 32 and prove the they-never-do-muchin-March naysayers wrong. It wasn’t long after tip-off that the curse, and in turn Iowa, started taking a beating. Wiltjer nailed a three, then Pangos, and KeyArena was as loud as it’s been since Macklemore last played the joint. Gonzaga never trailed in the game, and Iowa’s size had no visible effect. Wiltjer didn’t even miss a shot until there was eight minutes and change left in the game. The Zags’ shooting stats bordered upon basketball pornography,

24 INLANDER MARCH 26, 2015

and including them here would sully the familyfriendly reputation of this publication. When Mark Few pulled his seniors out of the game, a roar accompanied the hugs Pangos received from his teammates and coaches. The whole thing was a “goosebumps” sort of moment that made you think maybe all of this was worth a couple hundred bucks to see. Just maybe. The final horn signals an 87-68 final and the burial of a monkey that had somehow lived on the backs of Gonzaga’s program for five years. They go to the locker room and do the sort of thing 18-to-22-year-olds do. For Eric McClellan, that’s a backflip. Then Few does the sort of thing that 52-year-olds do, which apparently is a handstand-meets-cartwheel. Minutes later, Few, Wiltjer, Sabonis and Pangos take to the press podium, straight-faced and stoic to a man. It’s a few questions in when someone mentions the Curse of 32 without calling it a curse, because that would be unprofessional. Few mostly masks his annoyance with the question. He doesn’t get why no other team is held to that sort of standard, even if they manage the impressive feat of winning a game in the NCAA tournament for seven years in a row. “At the end of the day, this is about two things: It’s about staying involved in the greatest sporting event in the world. You want to stay in it for as long as you possibly can, because it’s so much fun, it’s so exciting,” he says. “But the second part of it is, I mean, this team loves each other. … You want that season to last as long as possible. So, we just gained another week right here, and hopefully we can gain one after that.”

n the arena’s concourse, Gonzaga fans mill about in an adrenalinedepleted haze, perhaps unsure if they want to stay for the nightcap between Louisville and Northern Iowa or celebrate elsewhere or maybe start looking for flights to Houston. Outside, the preacher, and his righteous judgments of basketball fans, is nowhere to be found. In his stead is a tent occupied by attractive young people handing out cans of Coke Zero, needed fuel for the trip back to Spokane, the rightful home of Gonzaga basketball and a refuge, at least for a few days, from the noise and blinding strobe lights of the greatest sporting event on earth. The curse, though, stays here, right where it died. 

MARCH MADNESS

NCAA WOMEN’S BASKETBALL CHAMPIONSHIP, SPOKANE REGIONAL

MARYLAND (32-2, 1 SEED) VS. DUKE (23-10, 4 SEED) SAT, MARCH 28 AT 1:30 PM TENNESSEE (29-5, 2 SEED) VS. GONZAGA (26-7, 11 SEED) SAT, MARCH 28 AT 4 PM REGIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP GAME MON, MARCH 30, TIME TBD TICKETS: $35/$45 FOR ALL THREE GAMES OF THE REGIONAL. AVAILABLE AT TICKETSWEST.COM, 800-325-SEAT OR THE SPOKANE ARENA BOX OFFICE AT 720 W. MALLON. Elle Tinkle (left) and Shaniqua Nilles hug after upsetting Oregon State. GONZAGA UNIVERSITY PHOTO

bringing it home The Gonzaga women make a Cinderella run that brings them to Spokane for the Sweet 16 By Eli Francovich

hey had no business being there. The No. 11 seed Gonzaga women’s basketball team was battling third-seeded Oregon State on the Beavers’ home floor. A defensive juggernaut, OSU won the Pac-12 regular season championship, had the home court advantage to the tune of roughly 5,000 rowdy fans and starts the Pac-12 Player of the Year, 6-foot-6 Ruth Hamblin, who’s known as the “Canadian Hammer” for her propensity for blocking shots into oblivion. And yet there they were. With just over three and a half minutes left, the Zags were up by three points, 64-61. The crazy thing? They’d been up by as much as 12. But now it seemed like the game was slipping away. OSU star Jamie Weisner (who finished with a game-high 24 points) missed a three-pointer, but the Beavers’ Marie Gülich snatched the offensive board and passed back to Weisner. The crowd roared as Weisner nailed the three. Tie game. Gonzaga didn’t miss a beat. Sunny Greinacher (12 points, five rebounds) screened Keani Albanez, who drove left toward the block, then kicked it out to Greinacher, who had rolled open just above the free-throw line and proceeded to nail a jumper. That shot was a gut punch to the rallying Beavers, as Gonzaga went on a 12-0

run, winning the game 76-64 and earning an unforeseen trip back to Spokane for the Sweet 16, joined by a trio of historically powerful women’s programs. “I really don’t think about [the jumper] as the winning point, because the free throws we had at the end were huge for us,” Greinacher says. “Saying that my shot was the winning point doesn’t give the free throws justice.” The Zags shot 50 percent from the field and held the Beavers to 41 percent shooting. Redshirt freshman Emma Wolfram (17 points, four rebounds) set the tone from the opening tip. She went head-to-head with Hamblin, scoring three times over the taller post. Hamblin was held to nine points, four rebounds and three blocks. “Sunny and I worked together to get Ruth away from the hoop and have the other one of us attack their smaller big,” Wolfram says. “I think it really worked today.” The game was truly put away by an Albanez layup and steady foul shooting from various players in the closing minutes. Particularly impressive was junior Elle Tinkle’s well-rounded game. She scored 14 points, grabbed seven rebounds and dished out three assists in a team-high 33 minutes. In the closing minute, she snagged two key rebounds and knocked down five of seven free

throws. “We didn’t come out and wilt. We fought,” says head coach Lisa Fortier. “Elle picked up the play on the glass. She got some huge offensive rebounds and huge defensive rebounds.” As time expired, the bench exploded. Players hugged and shouted in excitement. A jubilant pocket of Gonzaga fans punctuated the relative quiet of the arena. The celebration highlighted the victory’s improbability. Consider this: the Zags slumped late in the regular season, dropping back-to-back conference games, then lost in the WCC semifinals to BYU — nearly missing the tournament altogether. They opened NCAA tournament play against No. 6 seed George Washington, a team that had lost three games all season. The Zags won that game, 82-69. They limited George Washington to 29.3 percent from the field and forced 19 turnovers. This is Fortier’s first year as head coach and the Zags’ fourth trip to the Sweet 16. On Saturday they’ll meet No. 2 seed Tennessee at the Spokane Arena. This time they’ll have the home court advantage. That’s a dangerous combination, says OSU head coach Scott Rueck. “That team is better than an 11 seed,” Rueck says. “Nobody wants to see that team, especially going home. They are good.” n

MARCH 26, 2015 INLANDER 25

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26 INLANDER MARCH 26, 2015

Brian Houghton with “The Last Unicorn” (right) and “The Last Valkyrie,” both of which are hanging at Stella’s Cafe in Spokane. YOUNG KWAK PHOTO

ASCENDING ARTIST

Brian Houghton How one still-evolving artist learned not to be constrained by conventions BY CARRIE SCOZZARO

he look on Brian Houghton’s face when he opens the door at Stella’s Café on a Saturday morning is guarded yet curious. Or perhaps he’s just tired. Weekends are typically for making art, but today he’s back where he’s worked as a line cook since the café opened in 2012. While co-workers prep for late breakfast or an early lunch, Houghton ambles past exposed brick walls covered in artwork by Spokane artists Chris Dreyer, Devon

Plopper and Cole Tanner. His own artwork has hung there, as well as at Terrain and assorted venues throughout Spokane, for the past three years. “I literally was just messing around,” he says of his first painting in 2011, a Star Wars droid he made using exactly what he had on hand: black spray paint, a white paint pen, red and grey acrylic and cardboard. “I do what I like,” he says. No agenda, although he’s a fan of Hi-Fructose and Juxtapoz magazines, and that influ-

ence comes through. More pieces depicting pop culture figures followed, then some sad-faced balloon figures of hybrid animals and dinosaurs, and later some increasingly complex watercolor paintings spanning Houghton’s varied interests in religion, mythology and anatomy. And then came more dinosaurs in Copic marker, mixed-media-on-plywood robot hybrids and action figures that look like they ...continued on next page

MARCH 26, 2015 INLANDER 27

CULTURE | ASCENDING ARTIST

“Muninn” by Brian Houghton.

“BRIAN HOUGHTON,” CONTINUED...

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belong on Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer’s “Island of Misfit Toys.” “If I’m able to make some money with it, then fine,” he says of his artwork. “If I don’t, then I’m not going to lose any sleep over it.” Under the moniker Aura of Moths, he’s launched a successful line of jewelry on Etsy combining bones, crystals, antiqued wire, bullet casings and other items. “It was challenging at first,” says the selftaught artist, who sold most of the jewelry but has since stopped making it. He tends to immerse himself in something and work it until he’s taken it as far as he can, then move on, he says. Aside from an awkward few years pursuing an animation certificate from an online arts college, Houghton, 30, has learned best by just doing. And by making mistakes. Inside Stella’s, three sun-flooded windows look onto asphalt and Monroe Street Bridge traffic. In the sunlight, Houghton’s eyes are olivegray, matching his jacket. He’s not wearing his trademark nose ring, but the tattoos not obscured by clothes — he has full arm and leg sleeves — suggest plenty about him. Visible are a moth, a raven’s head, his name in Cyrillic letters, and on

each finger, rune-like letters he did himself. “I get it now,” he says. We’re talking about his artwork, but could just as easily be discussing his path. He had opportunities to learn technique, including in high school, he says, but railed at the constrictions. “Alcohol was the suppress button,” he says, enabling him to quiet the “noise” he says he experienced as a young adult growing up in Spokane, with so many thoughts and interests bouncing from math and science to philosophy, history and mythology. “I’m interested in how things work,” he says, acknowledging that his first words as a kid were probably “Why?” and “How?” With five years sobriety to his credit (and a loyal community of support for his artwork), Houghton is looking to the future. He’s considering North Idaho College for general education, then transferring to a four-year school for biology. It definitely will be a challenge, he says, but Houghton, unfazed, won’t rule out continuing with art, especially if he can make a living at it. “Look,” he says, “it could all change … if I find something more interesting.” n

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CULTURE | DIGEST

THEATER CLUE: THE MUSICAL

FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION BY KAITLYN ANSON

ith Clue: The Musical announcing a sold-out run before opening night (an extra show on April 11 at 2pm had been added just before press time), audiences have already decided it’s worth seeing. The critic thus becomes even more superfluous than usual — a quality he could claim to share with this stage adaptation of the Parker Brothers board game. That superfluousness — at least insofar as this lighthearted musical goes — isn’t necessarily a bad thing, though it has the potential to be. In fact, Clue: The Musical makes a questionable habit of walking the slender line between assets and liabilities. The chief charm of the show is that it differs every evening, its outcome determined by a random selection of three cards depicting the murderer, weapon and location. That also brings it closer to its origins than the endearingly manic 1985 film version. At the same time, the fixed points of the play have to remain flexible enough to accommodate those 216 possible permutations, so the whole whodunit construction ends up feeling tentative and insubstantial. Mr. Boddy’s (Ben Dyck) pool of catch-all rhyming clues is less suited for amateur sleuths than creating a false sense of audience participation. Nor is that the only example of weaknesses born of strengths. Suave Mr. Green’s (Cecil Trail) mangled idioms are amusing — up to a point. The same can be said for the protracted literary quote-off between Professor Plum (David McCarthy) and the high-strung detective (Kristen Nauditt), who has a further penchant for cramming nursery rhymes into noir-ish gumshoe lingo. But when does cute start to eat itself? What number of self-referential board-game gags constitutes overkill? When exactly does enough become too much? The answer is subjective, of course, but that doesn’t stop Clue: The

Ben Dyck (center) and the cast of Clue: The Musical.

ALBUM | It’s been three years since Welsh indie-pop artist Marina Diamandis — better known as Marina and the Diamonds — has dropped an album, her most recent release being Electra Heart in 2012. Her newest compilation, FROOT, while a definite direction change from her sassy, in-your-face previous work, is worth a listen. It’s the first album that Diamandis has written completely on her own, and while the album’s slower pace and calmer overall tone has led a few critics to label it as “dark,” Diamandis has said that it’s just much more self-reflective than her other albums. You can decide which adjective you find more fitting, but either way it’s undeniable that Diamandis’ voice, more than ever before, is exquisite.

YOUNG KWAK PHOTO

Musical from raising the question over and over. For this production, directed by Keith Dixon, big kudos go to Matthew Egan, who’s transformed the tight confines of the Civic’s Firth J. Chew Studio into a marvelous color-coded manor à la the board game, with six entries and exits. Summer Berry complements his setting with stitch-perfect costuming. However, the trio (drums, piano, cello) under Andrea Hall’s direction frequently overpowered the actors, some of whom were said to be battling colds. And though Mr. Boddy is the character charged with carrying the show, it’s Danielle Read, criminally brilliant as Mrs. Peacock, who sustains many a scene. — E.J. IANNELLI

TV | The end of the second season of NBC’s THE BLACKLIST is rapidly approaching, but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t try your hardest to start from the beginning and get caught up by the May 14 finale. James Spader, as the sarcastic, high-profile criminal Raymond Reddington, is the epitome of every villain you’ve ever hated to love and is intriguing enough to be the sole reason you start your Netflix and Hulu binge immediately. Each episode is named for the criminal Reddington helps the FBI take down in exchange for their promise to keep him out of jail, and each is more thrilling than the last. There’s mystery, deceit and all kinds of insane twists that set Blacklist apart from just any old crime show. It’s been renewed for a third season, so you won’t feel abandoned come September.

Clue: The Musical • [SOLD OUT] March 20-April 12; Thu-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm, Sat Apr. 11 at 2 pm • $27 • Spokane Civic Theatre • 1020 N. Howard • spokanecivictheatre.com • 325-2507

TV THE RETURN OF THE X-FILES The truth about an X-Files reunion proved to be no conspiracy. Gleeful squeals erupted across geekdom this week when FOX revealed the network was bringing the alien-filled show back for a six-episode miniseries. It’s been seven years since the most recent movie featuring partner FBI agents and UFO hunters Fox Mulder (David Duchovny) and Dana Scully (Gillian Anderson), and 13 years since the television series’ finale. Series creator Chris Carter is on board, as are the two stars, and filming begins this summer, with air dates still to be determined.

COMEDY | Aziz Ansari has been living in the comedy spotlight for a few years now, so much so that he recently performed his stand-up act live for a sold-out Madison Square Garden. It’s OK to envy those who actually got to be a part of the audience, but the great news is that Ansari has partnered with Netflix, and now AZIZ ANSARI LIVE AT MADISON SQUARE GARDEN can be viewed by anyone. The hour-long special is a laugh-a-minute and also chock-full of relatable content. Ansari touches on everything from flaws in the meatpacking industry to technology’s ill effects on the dating world, and as disjointed as that set probably sounds, it works hilariously. n

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CULTURE | COMEDY

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30 INLANDER MARCH 26, 2015

Happily Divided

Ty Barnett (left) and Ian Harris.

Co-headlining comics bring sparring perspectives to the same stage BY DAN NAILEN

fter spending decades making the rounds of the comedy club circuit, the world of strip-mall venues, shady club owners and sparse crowds far from home can lose a bit of its glamour. That leaves most mid-career comedians with some serious decisions to make. Should they stay on the road? Should they focus instead on a related line of work, like acting or writing for other people? Should they give up comedy altogether and get a “real job?” Comics Ty Barnett and Ian Harris have both faced those questions as they’ve pursued their dreams across the country’s clubs, in comedy contests and in writers’ rooms in L.A. While both have found sidelines they like — Barnett in acting and writing, Harris as a filmmaker and editor, as well as an MMA trainer — neither comic is ready to stop performing for live audiences. Hence, their “Divided” comedy tour, so titled because while the longtime friends have a lot in common, there are definite differences beyond simply race — Harris is white, Barnett black — that make for some great fodder for jokes. “We’re not diametrically opposed,” Harris says. “It’s not like he’s a Tea Party guy and I’m a Ralph Nader guy. But we have different backgrounds.” Barnett concurs, noting that his comedy is fairly broad, while Harris’ is pointed and aggressive. “Ian is an atheist, and I believe in a higher power,” Barnett says. “You can believe in Buddha, Allah, whatever you want to believe in, but I believe in a higher power. Ian is more of a scientist-type person.” That dichotomy is a natural jumping-off point for both men to address everything from parenthood to politics. And while their philosophical differences are what gives the “Divided” tour its unique flavor, both comedians say the ultimate goal is something bigger than just a lot of laughs — although those are certainly part of

the plan. “It’s called ‘Divided’ because we’re divided in some thought processes, but we’re together in how we present it to people,” says Barnett, the 2006 runner-up on Last Comic Standing. “You can be an atheist and come out laughing, and you can be a Christian and come out laughing. “It’s a metaphor for how the world should be. You can have your viewpoint, believe what you want to believe. But at the end of the day, we’re all human beings.” One of the highlights of the tour stops so far is when both comics take the stage at the end of the evening to interact with the other human beings in the venue. Barnett started doing Q&A sessions at the end of his shows on college campuses years ago, as a means of engaging kids with short attention spans. Harris thought doing it at the “Divided” shows would add an interesting element, and so far it’s turned out just that way. “You always get somebody who thinks they’re funny, with a free forum to heckle, like, ‘What happened to your hair, dude?’” Harris says. “But you can also get, ‘What’s your take on Ferguson?’ and we have to decide, do we give them the serious, political answer, or do we answer with a joke?” Either way, Barnett and Harris believe people will walk away from the show appreciating some new perspective along with the material from both comics. “Our original thought was, how do we unite these audiences and get across some thoughtprovoking content and still make people laugh?” Harris says. “At the end, they’ll come together and see where we agree and disagree. And see us try to make people think and laugh together at the same time.”  Ty Barnett and Ian Harris: Divided • Sat, March 28, at 8 pm • $20-$35 • 18+ • Knitting Factory • 919 W. Sprague • sp.knittingfactory. com • 244-3279

The Remake The Globe returns with new owners and new everything else BY JO MILLER

The Globe reopened this month with new owners after three years sitting vacant. JOE KONEK PHOTO

he green-and-maroon sign towering over the corner of Division and Main marks a business that was a home-away-fromhome gathering spot to many locals for 14 years. But during the past three years, the Globe Bar & Grille sat vacant. Walk inside now, and someone who used to frequent the Globe won’t recognize the thoroughly redone restaurant that debuted with new owners late last month as the Globe Bar & Kitchen. “If anyone is expecting it to be like the old Globe, it’s completely different. It’s just in the same spot,” says James Fountain, who opened the Globe Bar and Kitchen with his longtime friend Ryan Bates and Bates’ fiancée, Dianna Dahlgren. Fountain and Bates also own the Blind Buck cocktail bar next door, which is all part of the Globe building, built as the Globe Hotel around 1908. The two were interested in the old Globe when they first started their bar, but were wary of opening something big too soon. After seeing the success of the Blind Buck over the past year and a half, they decided to go for it. “It was available, and this is something that we always wanted to do — introduce food and have space,” Fountain says. Over the course of six months they gutted and completely remodeled the Globe. One of the main goals was widening the interior in order to build a square bar in the center to make the atmosphere better for socializing, says Fountain. The bar seats about 50 people and 12 TVs hang overhead. On Saturdays, you can watch them and catch Dahlgren as Monster Energy’s Miss Supercross, presenting the races on FOX Sports. Including the bar, booths and black tables surrounded by cushy stools, about 170 people can sit. At night, the restaurant ambiance transitions to a lounge feel, with DJs, bottle service and space to dance in the back. Local artists added to the décor with metalwork and a vintage sign painted on the brick. With all of the changes (the only thing kept was the tin ceiling), the owners made sure to get the previous own...continued on next page

MARCH 26, 2015 INLANDER 31

FOOD | OPENING

The Globe Bar and Kitchen’s Mile-High Donut Pie. JOE KONEK PHOTO

“THE REMAKE,” CONTINUED... er’s blessing to carry over the Globe name to the new business. “Because it was a staple, because people do know it, because it is the same location, because we have the classic historical sign [and] the building is still called the Globe … I didn’t want to fight it,” Fountain says. “I want it to be the same place that people knew, just grow it into today.” Josh Vrieling, manager of the Blind Buck, remembers the Globe in its former life as a pub, a grungier place to shoot pool and eat good food, with a lot of regulars who were restaurant workers around town. One of the chefs, named Howard, handed out questionnaires to find out customers’ favorite ingredients and made up meals for them on the spot. “We’d get together big old groups and he would just make up these big old spectacular meals just based off of whatever we wanted,” says Vrieling. “It was kind of fun like that.” Today, chef William Webster, at the kitchen’s helm, has created a menu of gourmet bar food. You can share plates like crispy green beans, Hawaiian sliders or three types of wings. The salads offer choices like wild mushroom steak or chicken confit Caesar. Fork-and-knife plates feature potato-crusted salmon and ginger teriyaki stir-fry, or grab a handheld, such as a Reuben or a monte cristo stuffed with turkey, ham, cream cheese, Swiss, smoked Gouda and blueberries. The 24 taps pour both big names and local brews, and the bottle selection offers global choices from Mexico, Italy and China. Fountain says for the cocktails, they wanted a creative, yet solid menu. The Cheesy Tini has blue cheese-stuffed olives with your choice of vodka or gin, the Pear-fect Mule adds pear vodka to the classic Moscow mule, and Gin N’ Juice combines Tanqueray with aloe juice. When the Globe was reborn, Vrieling says it meant wiping the whole slate clean and starting over. “But as far as the really good food, we wanted to keep that — [and] great drinks, obviously — and still cater to the service industry,” he says. “We still kept the main highlights that really stood [out], but still made it really bright and shiny and brand-new and updated for what people want nowadays.” n Globe Bar & Kitchen • 204 N. Division • Open daily, 11-2 am • facebook.com/GlobeSpokane • 443-4014

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32 INLANDER MARCH 26, 2015

FOOD | OPENING

Madeleine’s open-faced BLT. SARAH WURTZ PHOTO

Refresh and Refocus A forced relocation was an opportunity for Madeleine’s to hone its style, food and service BY CHEY SCOTT

ast Monday morning, a blue-framed sandwich board declaring “open” in white chalk was quietly placed on the sidewalk along west Main Avenue. It only took a few days for loyal customers of the French-inspired bakery and cafe to spread the news — Madeleine’s is back. The nearly six-month relocation began last October when Madeleine’s Cafe & Patisserie was unable to renew the lease for its original spot on the corner of Main and Wall, two and a half blocks west of its new home. Left behind is the royal blue awning framing that storefront’s windows, replaced with fresh, fog-blue paint, whitetrimmed windows and hand-lettered signage. “That was our home for seven and a half years, and we have certainly missed our regulars” since making the move, says Madeleine’s co-owner Deb Green. Green runs the café, along with next-door

Durkin’s Liquor Bar and Casper Fry restaurant in South Perry, with her daughter Megan VanStone and son Ben Poffenroth. “It’s hard to pick up your business and move, no matter where it is, but people are starting to trickle in,” she adds during an afternoon lull following the lunch rush. While the move took longer than the restaurateur family had originally planned — largely because they also were opening Durkin’s at the same time — it allowed for a complete overhaul of the Madeleine’s brand, from its menu to its décor. “We had to close down our restaurant and move it, so how do we turn that into an opportunity? We could streamline and freshen it up, and make it flow better and make it more convenient for our customers,” Green explains. That meant adding two cashier stands, one at each end of the counter, so customers ordering espressos and pastries can get in and out faster than those placing orders for food from the cold cases. To speed up coffee orders, the café also added a second espresso machine. While sticking to the tried-and-true cafe classics of sandwiches, salads and soups, Green says Madeleine’s salad offerings have moved from pasta-heavy dishes to a wider variety of other grain-based and green salads. With two new ovens in the kitchen, the bakery is now able to produce its own baguettes, flatbreads and other breads. Madeleine’s former shabby-chic décor theme has also been replaced with crisp contemporary designs and a subdued color palette of grays, blues, white and accents of yellow. There’s also significantly more seating in the form of a front window bar, booths and bistro tables lining the walls. While the café lost the sunny, side patio at its old spot, its owners’ plan is to construct a more intimate patio on the alley side of the historic brick building. Though the major challenges of relocating are behind them now, Green and family won’t take a backseat when it comes to running their three businesses. “We are at our restaurants every day,” Green says. “We have an obligation to make sure that everyone’s experience is positive, and to do that you just need to be there.” n

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Meet the Artist!

Lee Kromschroeder

Madeleine’s Café & Patisserie • 415 W. Main • Open Mon-Fri, 7:45 am-5 pm; Sat, 8:30 am-5 pm; Sun, 8:30 am-2 pm • 624-2253 • madeleines-spokane.com

Easter Buffet at Remington’s

11am 4pm

I’m just a cow from a trailer park who had a dream... I never thought this would ever happen.

Here is your chance to meet in person this highly collected, WILD WINGS premier wildlife artist

Sat. March 28th

Fresh Omelette Station, Smoked Salmon Lox, Roast Beef, Glazed Ham, Chicken Cordon Bleu plus lots more!

Adults $24.50 | Senior (55 yrs+) 20% Off | Under 12 $10.95 | Under 5 FREE

Dinner Menu available after 5:00pm Reservations Recommended

838-5211

The Airport

409 S. Dishman Mica Rd. (where Argonne meets 4th Ave.) MARCH 26, 2015 INLANDER 33

Will Ferrell and Kevin Hart trying to be funny in a mostly unfunny film.

Lock it Up Will Ferrell and Kevin Hart’s buddy comedy Get Hard is too soft BY ED SYMKUS

ou’ve got to wonder how Will Ferrell makes career choices. There have been great roles, ones that he’s absolutely owned: in Zoolander, Elf, Anchorman, Talladega Nights, The LEGO Movie. And there have been clunkers: Bewitched, Blades of Glory, Land of the Lost. Unfortunately, Get Hard fits uncomfortably in that second group. Ferrell plays James, a wealthy, spoiled, selfish fellow who lives in a huge home and has a beautiful, if demanding, fiancée. He’s very good at what he does in the world of fund management, something to do with statistical analysis. But he exists in a sort of protective shell that keeps him in the dark about the ways of the world. He looks down upon anyone below him, and is an obvious racist. He has no idea that some of the things he casually blurts out would, to most people, come across as demeaning. All he knows is that he deserves the partnership that was just offered to him, even if it likely won’t make him any happier. There’s also Darnell (Kevin Hart), one of those

34 INLANDER MARCH 26, 2015

people that James unwittingly demeans, and his exact opposite. He’s a hard-working and very happy family man, owner of a car wash and hoping to get a bank loan in order to move his wife and daughter to a better part of town, specifically to get his daughter into a better and safer school. Soon enough, the clueless guy in towny Bel Air is going to need the help of the sweet guy in South Central. In the midst of his engagement party, James is cuffed, led away, and informed that he’s headed for San Quentin on all sorts of fraud and embezzlement charges. But he’s given 30 days to “put your affairs in order.” The tacky script makes it blatantly obvious that he’s innocent (and just as obvious about who the real culprit is). But rather than try to clear himself, James’ solution is to contact the only black man he knows: Darnell, who’s been washing his car for a couple of years. After all, statistics, at least those in James’ head, say that most black men have done time, so Darnell should be able to help

him survive in prison. Let’s see: Darnell has never even had a parking ticket, but he needs money for his family; James has plenty of money; James, in Darnell’s eyes, is a moron. A deal is made. Darnell, with the aid of a Google search, will tutor James in how not to get raped in prison. And so begins the main story line of a movie that grows more embarrassing to watch as it ticks along. There are “training sessions” to toughen up James, but they go on too long, and Hart, though he’s good GET HARD with physical humor, wears Rated R out his welcome due to the Directed by Etan Cohen repetition of lines that are Starring Will Ferrell, Kevin Hart, funny once or twice, but not Craig T. Nelson three or four times. His best moments are the stunned reactions on his face when he sees and hears what’s coming from the eager-to-learn but still idiotic James. There are pieces of good slapstick, and it’s hard not to laugh at the size difference between the two leads when they’re next to each other. But the film could easily have had entire sequences removed (the unfunny Alliance of Whites scene being one of them) and come out more palatable. Things do come to a reasonable, if strained, conclusion. About a dozen people at my screening were laughing when the words “the end” flashed across the screen. But the same amount were silent. Everyone else was breathing a sigh of relief. n

FILM | SHORTS

OPENING FILMS DELI MAN

Your corner sandwich shop is not a deli — at least not by authentic, cultural standards. Traditional delicatessens, the focus of this documentary on the culinary trend, date back to the late19th century Jewish migration to the U.S., and spread westward from the East Coast. Told mainly through the eyes of third-generation Houston deli owner Ziggy Gruber, Deli Man is all about the passion of the people behind the counter. (CS)

GET HARD

Will Ferrell plays James, a wealthy, spoiled, selfish fellow who lives in a huge home with a beautiful fiancée but soon finds himself arrested for fraud and facing jail time. To toughen up, he hires the only black guy he knows, a square played by Kevin Hart, to show him how to “get hard” for prison. It’s not Ferrell’s (or Hart’s, for that matter) best work. (ES) Rated R

HOME

Oh is an alien who finds himself very out of place on Earth when he’s banished by his race of aliens, bent on making the planet their own by capturing all humans. Soon, he meets Tip (voiced by Rihanna) and the pair try to elude the aliens. (MB) Rated PG

IT FOLLOWS

The surprise indie hit of the spring, this inventive horror film gives us Maika Monroe as a teenage girl who loses her virginity, only to learn that in doing so she inherited a demonic follower from her boyfriend. As ghoulish beings follow her every move, she has to sleep with someone else to pass along the curse to another carrier. It’s less sexy and far creepier than it sounds. (MB) Rated R

THE

BIG

LEBOWSKI

MOVIE NIGHT AT

RATED R

NOW PLAYING 50 SHADES OF GREY

Based on E.L. James’ mega-selling novel, the sex-drenched film tracks the relationship between a rich businessman named Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan) and naïve college student Anastasia Steele (Dakota Johnson) as they explore bondage and other masochistic proclivities in his special sex room, on his helicopter, in an elevator – you get the idea. Every generation needs its mainstreaming of “kinky” via a feature film, and Millennials, this is your Last Tango in Paris or 9 ½ Weeks. (DN) Rated R

AMERICAN SNIPER

American Sniper opens with Bradley Cooper’s Chris Kyle on his first tour in Fallujah, perched on a rooftop protecting the Marines clearing buildings door to door. From the moment of his first life-or-death decision, the story flashes back — to his Texas childhood, his career as a rodeo cowboy, his eventual enlistment and his courtship and marriage to his wife, Taya (Sienna Miller) — before returning to his experiences serving in Iraq. (SR) Rated R

BALLET 422

At just 25, ballet dancer Justin Peck, then a member of the corps de ballet (meaning low man on the career ladder), is tapped to choreograph an original ballet — the 422nd for the New York City Ballet, the company made famous by George Balanchine and Jerome Robbins. The documentary follows Peck from rehearsals to costume fittings to lighting-design meetings as he readies his ballet over a breakneck two months’ time. At Magic Lantern (KJ) Rated PG

CHAPPIE

Sci-fi specialist Neill Blomkamp (District 9) returns to his native Johannesburg for this sometimes funny, sometimes violent tale of robot cops trying

to wipe out crime, a robotics designer trying to infuse one of his creations with human consciousness, local thugs messing with both humans and robots, and scientists turning villainous over budget cuts. (ES) Rated R

CINDERELLA

Director Kenneth Branagh’s version of the Disney animated classic goes heavy on the back story, introducing the beloved mother (Hayley Atwell) of young Ella (Lily James) before mom’s untimely passing and Ella’s merchant father (Ben Chaplin) remarrying, ultimately leaving poor Ella with a stepmother (Cate Blanchett) and two stepsisters (Holliday Grainger and Sophie McShera) who treat her poorly as Cinderella step-family characters are wont to do. (SR) Rated PG

DO YOU BELIEVE?

From the people who brought us the Kevin Sorbo-powered Christian persecution film God’s Not Dead comes another story of faith about a minister trying to be more true to his religion. What really matters is that Brian “The Boz” Bosworth is in this film. Oh, and Lee Majors! And Sean “Rudy” Astin! And Mira Sorvino! (MB) Rated PG-13

THE DUFF

Bianca (Mae Whitman) is mortified when she discovers that she is the “designated ugly fat friend,” or “DUFF,” of her high school clique. In an attempt to salvage what’s left of her senior year, Bianca must overthrow Madison (Bella Thorne). Determined to break the hierarchy, she starts a social revolution proving that no matter what you look like or how cool you think you are, everyone is someone’s DUFF. (CB) Rated PG-13

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BRAIN FREEZE WHITE RUSSIAN ICE CREAM AFTER PARTY IN EXCLUSIVE LEBOWSKI AT SCRATCH & RAIN FLAVORS 1007 W. 1ST AVE

inlander.com ...continued on next page

MARCH 26, 2015 INLANDER 35

THE MAGIC LANTERN A New Boutique in Millwood GRAND OPENING Sat. March 28th

FRI MAR 27TH - THUR APRIL 2ND WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS

Fri/Sat: 8:30, Sun: 6:00, Weds/Thur: 7:00

DELI MAN

Fri/Sat: 6:30, Sun: 4:00, Wed/Thur: 5:00

WHIPLASH

Sat: 4:30, Sun: 2:00, Wed/Thur: 3:00

SONG OF THE SEA

Sat: 4:50, Sun: 3:15, Wed/Thur: 3:20

Custom Jewelry Dresses And More 9007 E. Euclid

BALLET 422

Fri/Sat: 6:45, Sun: 1:45, Wed/Thurs: 5:15

TIMBUKTU

Fri/Sat: 8:10, Sun: 5:10, Wed/Thur: 6:45 25 W Main Ave • 509-209-2383 • All Shows $8 www.magiclanternspokane.com

FILM | SHORTS

NOW PLAYING FOCUS

As Focus’ professional con-man “hero” Nicky Spurgeon (Will Smith) informs his new would-be protégé, Jess (Margot Robbie), a successful con is all about diverting the attention of the “mark.” As they head to something very similar to the Super Bowl, the duo starts letting their feelings for each other get in the way, which turns out to be a big problem in this caper film. (SR) Rated R

CRITICS’ SCORECARD THE NEW YORK INLANDER TIMES

HOP ON OVER FOR EASTER APRIL 3 | 11AM-2PM Carved prime rib Made to order omelettes Salmon Pacifica Flambe station & more RESERVATIONS: Call 509-323-2577

INSURGENT

In the second film of the Divergent series, Shailene Woodley returns as Tris Prior, a young woman living in a dystopian future in which people are segregated into a social caste system by personality. As part of the Divergent class, Tris finds her group heading for annihilation at the hands of the nefarious leader of the Erudite class played by Kate Winslet. (MB) Rated PG-13

KINGSMAN: THE SECRET SERVICE

Harry (Colin Firth), code name Galahad, recruits Eggsy (Taron Egerton), a kid from the wrong side of the London tracks, to be a member of the Kingsmen, an ostensibly classy set of British spies. The whole film touts how the Kingsmen follow rules to keep them gentlemanly, but it eventually veers far off course into something that fully contradicts itself. (MJ) Rated R

McFARLAND USA

When he discovers his students’ amazing ability to run, Jim White (Kevin Costner) is determined to form a cross-country team that would one day be state champions. Inspired by the legacy of the McFarland High School runners of 1987, McFarland USA follows White and his team from a small farming town in California on their journey against the odds. (CB) Rated PG

PROJECT ALMANAC

RED LION RIVER INN 700 N. Division St., Spokane, WA 99202 redlion.com/riverinn

36 INLANDER MARCH 26, 2015

When David (Johnny Weston) finds blueprints for a time machine in his garage, he and his friends are determined to make the most of it. As their manipulation of the past results in plane crashes, riots and natural disasters, the teens discover that they must go back to the beginning if they have any hope of undoing the ripple effect. (CB) Rated PG-13

METACRITIC.COM (OUT OF 100)

Timbuktu

American Sniper

Cinderella

Kingsman

Focus

Insurgent

Chappie

DON’T MISS IT

WORTH $10

WATCH IT AT HOME

SKIP IT

STILL ALICE

THE GUNMAN

Has the world gone mad or is Sean Penn really playing the lead in an action movie? That appears to be the case as Spicoli himself plays a mercenary sniper who kills a prominent mining official in Africa and has to go into hiding. But when he surfaces, he finds that there are still a lot of people out there looking to kill him. Also stars Idris Elba and Javier Bardem. (MB) Rated R

VARIETY

(LOS ANGELES)

RUN ALL NIGHT

Liam Neeson plays a secret agent, guy whose kid got kidnapped, air marshal and hit man who has to go on a rampage to save his son’s life and also his own. Ed Harris plays his best friend and fellow hit man while Common plays yet another hit man. It’s basically a movie about hit men. (MB) Rated R

SECOND BEST EXOTIC MARIGOLD HOTEL

Here’s the sequel to the surprise indie hit of 2012, Best Exotic Marigold Hotel. This time, the cast, which features Judi Dench, Maggie Smith and Bill Nighy, finds that their retirement hotel has filled up with tenants. So, their pal Sonny (Dev Patel) decides to open another hotel, which he brings forth with Bollywood flair. (MB) Rated PG

SEVENTH SON

This epic fantasy tale from centuries ago stars Jeff Bridges as Master Gregory, the last in a long line of supernatural warriors tasked with keeping humanity safe against evil forces led by a mean witch (Julianne Moore). For help, the master recruits a country boy born “the seventh son of a seventh son” to teach him how to battle dark magic. (DN) Rated PG-13

SONG OF THE SEA

Ben and Saoirse are left motherless, and as such, big brother Ben is tasked with babysitting his mute, 6-yearold sister while their father, Conor, shrouds his grief in his work manning the family’s lighthouse. Nominated for an Academy Award for Best Animated Feature, Song of the Sea follows the children as they try to get back to their father. At Magic Lantern (CS) Rated PG

THE SPONGEBOB MOVIE: SPONGE OUT OF WATER

When the sacred Crabby Patty recipe is stolen by a pirate (Antonio Banderas), Spongebob Squarepants leaves behind the only world he has ever known. With the help of his friends Patrick, Mr. Krabbs, Sandy and Squidward, Spongebob journeys through our world and becomes a hero. (CB) Rated PG

Julianne Moore earned a Best Actress Oscar nomination for her performance as Alice Howland, an accomplished college professor who realizes that she’s suffering from early-onset Alzheimer’s. A post-Twilight Kristen Stewart also shines as Alice’s daughter, who’s also struggling to accept her mother’s diagnosis. (MB) Rated PG-13.

THE THEORY OF EVERYTHING

Inspired by Jane Wilde Hawking’s memoir about her life with former husband Stephen Hawking, the brilliant theoretical physicist (A Brief History of Time) diagnosed with motor neuron disease at age 21, the film’s heart beats with a romantic optimism, even when each of them finds new soulmates and their union ends. (SD) Rated PG-13

TIMBUKTU

The brilliant Timbuktu comes along at a perfect moment to elucidate the diversity of Islam, and the cultural battles happening within the religion. Director and co-screenwriter Abderrahmane Sissako does a remarkable job bringing the viewer into an utterly foreign world of sparse, sandy landscapes dotted with mud huts and tents and making us empathize with the local fisherman, cattle herders and children who suddenly have a cast of gun-toting foreigners imposing sharia law on the small village. At Magic Lantern (DN) Rated PG-13

WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS

Jemaine Clement, best known as half of Flight of the Conchords, co-wrote and co-directed this hilarious mockumentary about a group of vampires living in a mansion together. It’s like The Real World for the undead. At Magic Lantern (MB) Not Rated

WHIPLASH

Socially maladroit and painfully single-minded, Andrew (Miles Teller), a freshman at a competitive conservatory, lives only to drum. Early on, he’s tapped by an instructor named Fletcher (J.K. Simmons) to join his elite competition band. (KJ) Rated R 

FILM | REVIEW

MOVIE TIMES on

Searchable by Movie, by Theater, or Time

Ziggy Gruber, the subject of Deli Man.

Between the Bread Deli Man gives us a colorful look at the Jewish delicatessen, but some fat could have been trimmed

GET HARD

R Daily (4:45) 6:30 7:20 9:35 Sat-Sun (11:45) (1:50) (2:15)

HOME

PG Daily (3:10) (5:30) 8:15 Sat-Sun (11:30) (1:50) Daily in 2D (2:45) (4:50) 7:00 9:10 Sat-Sun (10:45) (12:45)

THE DIVERGENT SERIES: INSURGENT

PG-13 Daily (4:10) 9:10 Sat-Sun (11:10) Daily in 2D (4:45) 6:40 7:15 9:40 Sat-Sun (11:45) (1:40) (2:15)

THE GUNMAN

R Daily (4:20) 6:45 9:20

CINDERELLA

BY MARJORIE BAUMGARTEN he pastrami looks and tastes great in this loving documentary about Jewish delicatessens, but the meal would go down even better if some of the excess fat were trimmed. The anchor for this love song to the Jewish deli is Ziggy Gruber, a third-generation deli man who currently operates Kenny & Ziggy’s in Houston, Texas. A classically trained chef, Gruber is a graduate of Le Cordon Bleu who trained at a three-star Michelin restaurant in London but threw that cuisine overboard after having an epiphany. Growing up in New York City, Gruber gladly worked in delis run by his grandparents, father, and uncles during a time when Jewish delis were ubiquitous in the metropolitan area. In the late 1980s, while accompanying his father to an annual dinner of the Delicatessen Dealers’ Association of Greater New York, Gruber looked around the room and realized that the business was dying. All the dinner guests were in their 60s and 70s; only a couple dozen members were left in the organization and there was no new blood to perpetuate the tradition. Gruber found his calling, abandoned his “fancy shmancy” cooking, and moved back to the States to become a deli man. Following starts in New York and Los Angeles, Gruber established his successful temple

AIRWAY HEIGHTS

10117 W State Rt 2 • 509-232-0444

PG Daily (4:10) 6:40 9:10 Sat-Sun (11:00) (11:30) (1:40)

to Jewish food in Houston. The film follows Gruber as he relates his life story, kibitzes with his patrons and staff (most of the kitchen staff are Mexican-Americans with no previous knowledge of matzo balls and gefilte fish), and travels to New York, Toronto, Los Angeles, and San Francisco to visit some of the country’s great delis (Carnegie, Katz’s, 2nd Avenue Deli, Nat ’n Al, and Canter’s, among them). Deli DELI MAN connoisseurs such as Rated PG-13 Jerry Stiller, Larry Directed by Erik Anjou King, Alan Dershowitz, and Fyvush Finkel sing the praises of pastrami and corned beef, but while their testimonies add color, little new information is added. Deli Man is director Erik Anjou’s third documentary about Jewish traditions, following A Cantor’s Tale and The Klezmatics: On Holy Ground. His affinity for the subject matter is evident, but it’s hard to make food tantalizing on film, to convey the taste of pastrami or the texture of a matzo ball. More work on that aspect, rather than placing the primary focus on Gruber’s engaging personality, would help. The old ad campaign, “You don’t have to be Jewish to love Levy’s real Jewish rye,” is an example of Jewish food’s universal appeal. Deli Man needs more meat on its rye. n

RUN ALL NIGHT

R Daily 9:00 Sat-Sun (1:10)

FRI, MARCH 27TH TO THURS, APRIL 2ND

MCFARLAND, USA

PG Daily (3:50) 6:30 9:15 Sat-Sun (10:50) (1:20)

KINGSMAN: THE SECRET SERVICE R Daily (3:30) 6:20 9:10 Sat-Sun (12:30)

AMERICAN SNIPER R Daily (3:30)

Paddington

Sat-Sun 12:20 5:00 Mon 5:00, Wed-Thu 5:00

WANDERMERE

12622 N Division • 509-232-7727

AMERICAN SNIPER R Daily (3:00) 8:45

GET HARD

R Daily (1:50) (2:15) (4:45) 6:50 7:20 9:45 Fri-Sun (11:45)

Jupiter Ascending Fri 7:05, Sat-Sun 2:25 7:05 Mon 7:05, Wed-Thu 7:05

HOME

PG Daily (2:45) 7:00 9:10 Fri-Sun (10:45) Daily in 2D (12:45) (1:50) (3:10) (4:50) (5:30) 8:15 Fri-Sun (11:00) (11:30)

THE DIVERGENT SERIES: INSURGENT

PG-13 Daily (1:40) 6:40 9:10 Fri-Sun (11:10) Daily in 2D (2:15) (4:10) (4:45) 7:15 9:45 Fri-Sun (11:45)

Hot Tub Time Machine 2 Fri-Wed 9:40pm

DO YOU BELIEVE?

PG-13 Daily (2:00) (4:20) 6:50 9:20 Fri-Sun (11:20)

THE GUNMAN

R Daily (4:30) 7:00 9:30

CINDERELLA

Spokane Film Society Thu 9:40pm

PG Daily (1:10) (1:40) (3:40) (4:10) 6:10 6:40 8:40 9:10 Fri-Sun (10:50) (11:10)

RUN ALL NIGHT

R Daily (1:50) (4:20) 9:20 Fri-Sun (11:20)

THE SECOND BEST EXOTIC MARIGOLD HOTEL PG Daily (2:00) (4:30) 7:00 9:30 Fri-Sun (11:30)

CHAPPIE

Gonzaga vs UCLA Fri 4:15

If GU wins we will show the Sunday game!!

R Daily (12:20) 6:15

MCFARLAND, USA

PG Daily (1:20) (3:50) 6:30 9:15 Fri-Sun (10:50)

KINGSMAN: THE SECRET SERVICE

Trail Running Film Festival

Tue 5:00

TICKETS

R Daily (12:30) (3:30) 6:20 9:00

Showtimes in ( ) are at bargain price. Special Attraction — No Passes Showtimes Effective 3/27/15-4/2/15

MARCH 26, 2015 INLANDER 37

C I G A M IX S N I S G N I R ST

The story of Sir Richard Bishop, an old guitar and Tangier Sessions BY BEN SALMON

eteran experimental guitarist Sir Richard Bishop’s recent shows are so focused on one very old guitar and the sounds it makes, it’s almost like Bishop’s on a traveling museum exhibit rather than a concert tour. “People do like the story of the guitar and the mystery behind it … just as much as they might like the music,” Bishop says in a telephone interview from his home in Portland. “It’s like the guitar’s going on tour.” Perhaps that’s true, but rest assured: The guitar can’t play itself. It’s Bishop who powers the instrument with his singular skill, as he has been for more than a decade as a solo artist and before that as one-third of improv-inclined ethnofolk weirdos Sun City Girls, a prolific Phoenix-based band that rose to (underground) prominence in the 1980s. Since Sun City Girls ended, Bishop has been exploring his own globally influenced brand of avant-garde acoustic music, usually landing somewhere between

38 INLANDER MARCH 26, 2015

John Fahey’s American Primitivism and George Harrison’s Eastern mysticism. His new album, Tangier Sessions, is no different, except now he has a partner made of wood and strings. In 2014, Bishop was traveling, as he does, and found himself wandering the streets of Geneva, Switzerland, where according to legend (aka the official press materials from Drag City Records, which released Tangier Sessions in January), he ducked into an “obscure luthier’s shop in a shadowy lane off the high road” in search of a small guitar built to travel. Inside, Bishop sampled the wares for a while and was heading to the exit when the shopkeeper suddenly cast a six-stringed spell. “He didn’t have to show [the guitar] to me at all. It wasn’t even out on his sales floor for sale,” Bishop says. “It was in his workshop in the back. It was kind of like a Twilight Zone episode: You’re walking out and then the devil offers you a little deal.” Bishop could tell the guitar was very old, but it had no manufacturer’s branding or markings of any kind other than a small sticker that said “C. Bruno.” It also played beautifully; it “felt right,” he says. But it was expensive. “I think when I left that first day, he knew that I really wanted it. I knew I did, too, but I … didn’t really have the money to afford it. I had that money allocated for other things, like survival and food and places to stay and things like that,” Bishop says with a chuckle. “But as soon as I stepped away from it for a couple days, it’s like it was still in my vicinity, my aura. It’s like it was haunting me. There was a weird, umbilical cord-like connection.” Bishop returned to the shop twice more before finally buying the instrument. He has since had it examined by guitar experts and believes it could’ve been built as early as the 1850s. But he still doesn’t know who made it or who owned it, and he’s not sure he even wants to. “At this point, I like that the mystery is kind of not solved,” Bishop says. “Maybe if I find out more about it, it might not be as cool as I want it to be.” Regardless of its origin, the guitar’s claim to fame now is its featured role in Tangier Sessions, a gorgeous album of entirely improvised acoustic songs Bishop self-recorded in a small, tiled apartment in the old part of its namesake city in Morocco. Across its seven tracks, Bishop picks his way through Eastern melodies, gypsy tunes, Spanish flamenco and African blues, often with a tone so inviting and a pace so unhurried, you can practically feel a warm breeze blowing through and the black night sky closing in. Indeed, the songs on Tangier Sessions are not wholly imbued with the sounds of Morocco, but they reflect the city’s position as a cultural hub, and Bishop’s as well. “I could easily say something magical, something mystical happened there, for sure,” he says. “There was a certain inspiration, not just in the room but just being in Tangier itself. Creative juices flow there, and I certainly tapped into that feeling and that idea.” n Sir Richard Bishop with Robert Millis • Sat, March 28, at 7 pm • $10 • All-ages • South Perry Yoga (moved from the Palomino Club) • 915 S. Perry • southperryoga.com • 443-6241

...continued on next page

MARCH 26, 2015 INLANDER 39

MUSIC | FOLK

Joe Pug used to be a carpenter; now he hammers out soulful tunes on his guitar.

Clear Skies Ahead

Joe Pug slayed some demons making his new album and his music is better for it BY DAN NAILEN

oe Pug was ready to quit, or perhaps have a nervous breakdown. The record-tour grind through the young songwriter’s first two albums made him a rising star on the folk-rock scene by the end of 2013, but also left him exhausted after four years and more than 400 shows. Even as the crowds grew at his shows, and his band sounded better than ever, the singer-songwriter was miserable playing music. Post-tour and staring at a studio booked and waiting,

Pug tried writing new songs and found himself just as creatively fried as he was emotionally spent. The words wouldn’t come easily, and the bourbon went down a little too easily. He realized the only way to make new music that would make him proud was to cancel the recording plans and just go live some sort of normal, non-music life for a while and recharge. It worked, judging by the intense, excellent songs filling his new album, Windfall. After the break, he described recording in Kentucky as “effortless and joyful,” and that

comes through his warm, weathered voice that belies his youth. Songs like “Stay and Dance” and “If Still It Can’t Be Found” brim with optimistic life and stellar musicianship from Pug and his longtime band. One week into the tour supporting Windfall, Pug feels like he’s found the right balance to avoid the darkness that enveloped him two years ago. “I think we’ve learned to tour in a more humane way,” Pug says, noting that the nine weeks on the first road from his new Austin home are now split by a 10-day break. “I’ve also had some time to get some perspective on what we’re doing, to get my mind in a different place.” Right now, he says that place is a happy one that he always finds when he takes new music on the road. “There’s nothing like that first tour behind a new album,” Pug says, “when you’re still figuring the new songs out, and people are figuring out their relationship with them. It’s a very vital time.” Even though South by Southwest was just held in his new hometown, Pug hit the road before all the industry folks invaded — just another means of keeping his head together. Starting the tour on the sunny West Coast doesn’t hurt, either, as he makes his way to Spokane and his trio slowly locks in their approach to the new songs. “There are some bands that strive to change things up every night,” Pug says. “The way I look at it is, if you’re a basketball player, you want your jump shot to be the same every time if you can. It never is, but you’re always aiming for that.” The more Pug strives for that perfect sound in his head, the better his songs seem to get. On Windfall, he’s closer than ever. n dann@inlander.com Joe Pug with Field Report • Sun, March 29, at 8 pm • $12/$14 day of • All-ages • The Bartlett • 228 W. Sprague • thebartlettspokane.com • 747-2174

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THE STATIC TONES CD RELEASE W/ BLACKWATER PROPHET/ STUCCO/ SORORITY

2 guys approaching mid-life, from different backgrounds, talking about race, religion, politics, relationships, parenting, and all the stuff that keeps us…. Divided!

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MARCH 26, 2015 INLANDER 41

MUSIC | SOUND ADVICE

POP AGES AND AGES

nlike the plastic/overly-scrubbed “folk” sound on pop radio these days, Portlandbased Ages and Ages make their claps, stomps and harmonious “ooos” and “ahhs” sound realistic and natural. Last year’s Divisionary, the group’s second full-length album, laid out what the folk-pop, family-like collective does best — just one spin of the record conjures images of late-night campfire sing-along sessions and summertime splendor. But the record isn’t all happy-go-lucky. Over the past couple of years, a number of people close to the band passed away (a mother, father, sister and more), and the record was made in response to tragedy (check out the title track, especially). — LAURA JOHNSON Ages and Ages • Thu, April 2, at 8 pm • $8/$10 day of • All-ages • The Bartlett • 228 W. Sprague • thebartlettspokane.com • 747-2174

J = THE INLANDER RECOMMENDS THIS SHOW J = ALL AGES SHOW

Thursday, 03/26

J THe BARTleTT, Turquoise Jeep THe Big DiPPeR, Resonant Language with Doctor Ugz, Blapsta, Kreesto BooMeRS ClASSiC RoCk BAR & gRill, Randy Campbell acoustic show J BuCeR’S CoFFeeHouSe PuB, Open Jazz Jam with Erik Bowen BuCkHoRn inn, Spokane River Band CHineSe gARDenS, Big Hair Revolution CoeuR D’Alene CASino, PJ Destiny CRAFTeD TAP HouSe + kiTCHen (208-292-4813), Kosh Di lunA’S CAFe (208-263-0846), Grace & Tony JoHn’S Alley, Cure for the Common J lAgunA CAFé, Just Plain Darin noRTHeRn QueST CASino, Aaron Lewis o’SHAy’S, Open mic J one WoRlD CAFe (208 -8833537), Sama Dams, Tomten J PinnACle noRTHWeST, Ladies Night Dance Party feat. Raw B RiCo’S (332-6566), Border Colleagues RoADHouSe, Luke Jaxon THe Viking BAR & gRill, Karrie O’Neill, Carli Osika ZolA, Sonny Brookbank Band

Friday, 03/27

J THe BARTleTT, !!! (Chk Chk Chk) BeVeRly’S, Robert Vaughn J THe Big DiPPeR, The Static Tones CD release (See story above) feat. Blackwater Prophet, Stucco, Sorority BigFooT PuB, Tracer Bolo’S, Snap the Nerve BooMeRS ClASSiC RoCk BAR & gRill, Triple Shot BoWl’Z BiTeZ & SPiRiTZ, Likes Girls J BuCeR’S CoFFeeHouSe PuB,

42 INLANDER MARCH 26, 2015

RELEASE THE STATIC TONES/BOAT RACE WEEKEND L ocal bands are on a hot streak this month, dropping records left and right, and this weekend we have two new ones. First up on Friday is Coeur d’Alene act the Static Tones (pictured), releasing their fuzzed-out, classic rock ’n’ roll disc Brotherhood of Strangers. The trio’s music is gritty and soulful, translating as well in a dive bar as it does on the open road with the windows down. Boat Race Weekend, on the other hand, hitting the stage Saturday night, take their emotional style of pop-punk very seriously on their first record, The Talisman. A Gonzaga three-piece — two members are seniors and the other graduated last year — the group is young, but they’ve got more than enough loud, pent-up angst to express in their songs, which translates to one hell of a ruckus onstage. — LAURA JOHNSON The Static Tones CD release party with Blackwater Prophet, Stucco and Sorority • Fri, March 27, at 7:30 pm • $5 • All-ages • Boat Race Weekend CD release with Head Hiatus, the Bight, the Cammora • Sat, March 28, at 7 pm • $7 • 21+ • The Big Dipper • bigdipperevents.com Darrell Brann BuCkHoRn inn, Bobby Bremer Band J CAlyPSoS CoFFee & CReAMeRy, Jimmy Walker THe CellAR, Dan Schmedd & Carli Osika CoeuR D’Alene CASino, Bill Bozly, Tell the Boys J THe CoeuR D’Alene ReSoRT (208-209-5031), Coeur d’Alene Blues Festival feat. Truck Mills, Cary Fly Band, Robb Boatsman & Rampage CuRley’S, Chairmen of Rock DAley’S CHeAP SHoTS, Working Spliffs eAgle’S loDge (489-3030), Sammy Eubanks FeDoRA PuB & gRille, Ron Greene FiZZie MulligAnS, Phoenix gRAnDe RonDe CellARS, Maxie Ray Mills J THe HoP!, Turtle Goodman and the

spirit bombs, Fiddling Al, Tizzle, special guest DJ Loki iRon HoRSe BAR, JamShack JoHn’S Alley, Whiskey Syndicate J kniTTing FACToRy, Dan + Shay with Canaan Smith J lAgunA CAFé, Diane Copeland MooSe lounge, The Usual Suspects J nASHVille noRTH, Northwest Allstar Band feat. Jeremy McComb, Steve Starkey, Kelly Hughes, Keith Niehenke, Jake Barr, Gary Hassler noRTHeRn QueST CASino, DJ Ramsin nyne, DJ the Divine Jewels PenD D’oReille WineRy, Emily Baker J PinnACle noRTHWeST, Cold Blooded, Rutah, I Hate This City, Wolfstorm, Serpentspire J PiZZA PiT (208-369-6998), Tomten, Panther Attack, Toyboat Toyboat Toyboat

RiCo’S, Train of Thought RoADHouSe, Last Chance Band SWAxx, Mario THe Viking BAR & gRill, The Bard ZolA, The Cronkites

Saturday, 03/28

BARloWS AT liBeRTy lAke (9241446), Jan Harrison J THe BARTleTT, Beat Connection, Elel, Water Monster BeVeRly’S, Robert Vaughn J THe Big DiPPeR, Boat Race Weekend (See story above) CD release party feat. Head Hiatus, the Bight, the Camorra BigFooT PuB, Tracer Bolo’S, Snap the Nerve BooMeRS ClASSiC RoCk BAR & gRill, Triple Shot BoWl’Z BiTeZ & SPiRiTZ, Likes Girls J BuCeR’S CoFFeeHouSe PuB, Jon & Rand

BuCkHoRn inn, Bobby Bremer Band J CAlyPSoS CoFFee & CReAMeRy, Stan Louis THe CellAR, Dan Schmedd & Carli Osika J CHAPS, Just Plain Darin with Tyler Coulston CHeCkeRBoARD BAR, Dirty Dirty and Ever-So-Android CoeuR D’Alene CASino, Bill Bozly, Tell the Boys CoeuR D’Alene CellARS ((208) 664-2336), Pamela Benton J THe CoeuR D’Alene ReSoRT, Coeur d’Alene Blues Festival feat. Blues Edition, the Doghouse Boyz, Billy D & the Hoodoos, Sekwyn Birchwood, Charlie Butts & the Filter Tops and more THe CoeuR D’Alene ReSoRT, Truck Mills CoRk & BARRel PuBliC HouSe (447-3844), The Oracle’s Kitchen

CURLEY’S, Chairmen of Rock EAGLE’S LODGE, Sammy Eubanks FIZZIE MULLIGANS, Phoenix HANDLEBARS, Route 66 HARVEST MOON RESTAURANT (2914313), All Cashed Up (Johnny Cash Tribute) J HASTINGS (535-4342), Michael Boucher and Aisling J THE HOP!, Torches to Triggers, Yusuke, Itchy Kitty IDAHO POUR AUTHORITY (208-5977096), Truck Mills IRON HORSE BAR, JamShack JOHN’S ALLEY, RL Heyer Sweet Action

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Email getlisted@inlander. com to get your event listed in the paper and online. We need the details one week prior to our publication date.

LA ROSA CLUB, Bright Moments Jazz Band J LAGUNA CAFÉ, Curran Long THE LARIAT INN, Spokane River Band LINNIE’S THAI CUISINE (535-2112), Karaoke and Dancing with DJ Dave MOOSE LOUNGE, The Usual Suspects NASHVILLE NORTH, Luke Jaxon Band NORTHERN QUEST CASINO, DJ Ramsin NYNE, DJ MC Squared J PANIDA THEATER (208-263-9191), Marshall McLean Band with Anna Tivel PEND D’OREILLE WINERY, Ken

Mayginnes J PINNACLE NORTHWEST, Battle of the Bands feat. Framework, Boneye, Ironwood, Children of Atom, You Don’t Know Me RICO’S, Train of Thought ROADHOUSE, Last Chance Band J SOUTH PERRY YOGA (443-6241), Sir Richard Bishop (See story on page 38), Robert Millis SWAXX, Certified Outfit, Swisher Sleep, Kae One, M-Status J UNDERGROUND 15, Odyssey, Flannel Math Animal THE VIKING BAR & GRILL, Mojo Box, Tommy G ZOLA, The Cronkites

EICHARDT’S, Monday Night Jam with Truck Mills J THE HOP!, Verbera, The Home Team, Deaf To, F--- Out MAIN STREET BISTRO (935-8484), Chris Trapper of the Push Stars J PINNACLE NORTHWEST, Chrysalis, Raised By Wolves, Jet Pack Renegades, Lust For Glory, Heart Avail J RICO’S, Open Mic J SHADLE LIBRARY (444-5390), Madeline McNeil UNDERGROUND 15, Open Mic ZOLA, Nate Ostrander Trio

Tuesday, 03/31

J THE BARTLETT, Joe Pug (See story on page 40), Field Report J THE BIG DIPPER, Tantric COEUR D’ALENE CASINO, Kicho, Echo Elysium THE COEUR D’ALENE RESORT, Coeur d’Alene Blues Festival feat. Kenny Andrews DALEY’S CHEAP SHOTS, Jam Night with VooDoo Church IRON HORSE BAR & GRILL, Steve Livingston JOHN’S ALLEY, Zach Hecendorf J PINNACLE NORTHWEST, Mother Crone, Mojave Wizard

315 MARTINIS & TAPAS, The Rub J THE BARTLETT, Open Mic FEDORA PUB & GRILLE, Tuesday Night Jam with Truck Mills JONES RADIATOR, Open Mic of Open-ness THE LARIAT INN, Robert Moss MAIN STREET BISTRO, Chris Trapper of the Push Stars J MOSCOW FOOD CO-OP, Dan Maher NYNE, DJ Patrick RED ROOM LOUNGE, Unplugged with Jimmy Nudge J SOUTH HILL LIBRARY (548-3303), Madeline McNeil SWAXX, T.A.S.T.Y with DJs Freaky Fred, Beauflexx ZOLA, The Bucket List

Monday, 03/30

Wednesday, 04/01

Sunday, 03/29

J THE BIG DIPPER, Kappa Oie J CALYPSOS COFFEE & CREAMERY, Open Mic

BABY BAR, The Raven and the Writing Desk J THE BARTLETT, Twinsmith

THE BOAT LAUNCH RESTAURANT & LOUNGE (447-2035), Scotia Road J CHAPS, Land of Voices with Dirk Swartz CRAFTED TAP HOUSE + KITCHEN, Son of Brad EICHARDT’S, Charley Packard GARLAND AVENUE DRINKERY (3155327), Open Mic with DJ Scratch n Smith GENO’S TRADITIONAL FOOD & ALES (368-9087), Open Mic with T & T J THE HOP!, Sleeze IRON HORSE BAR & GRILL, Open mic JOHN’S ALLEY, DJ DarkBlood JONES RADIATOR, Sally Bop Jazz LA ROSA CLUB, Robert Beadling and Friends THE LANTERN TAP HOUSE, Open Turntables Night with DJ Lydell LUCKY’S IRISH PUB, DJ D3VIN3 J PINNACLE NORTHWEST, New Kingston, Arise Roots, Kimie Miner PIZZA PIT, Dear Rabbit RICO’S, The Unusual Suspects SOULFUL SOUPS AND SPIRITS, Open mic ZOLA, The Bossame

Coming Up ...

PINNACLE NORTHWEST, Weedeater, April 2 J THE BARTLETT, Ages and Ages (See story on facing page), April 2 THE BIG DIPPER, Down North, Flying Spiders, Blind Willies, April 3 PINNACLE NORTHWEST, Soblivios and Tattered dual CD release show, April 3

Thank You Spokane for Voting Anthony’s “Best Seafood.”

at spokane falls 510 N. Lincoln St • 509-328-9009 www.anthonys.com

Anthony’s is proud to continue our Hall of Fame history in the Inlander’s Best of Readers Poll. Thank you for continuing to vote us the best!

1st place

MUSIC | VENUES 315 MARTINIS & TAPAS • 315 E. Wallace, CdA • 208-667-9660 ARBOR CREST WINE CELLARS • 4705 N. Fruit Hill Rd. • 927-9463 BABY BAR • 827 W. First Ave. • 847-1234 THE BARTLETT • 228 W. Sprague Ave. • 747-2174 BEVERLY’S • 115 S. 2nd St., CdA • 208-765-4000 THE BIG DIPPER • 171 S. Washington St. • 863-8098 BIGFOOT PUB • 9115 N. Division St. • 467-9638 BING CROSBY THEATER • 901 W. Sprague Ave. • 227-7638 BLACK DIAMOND • 9614 E. Sprague • 891-8357 THE BLIND BUCK • 204 N. Division • 290-6229 BOLO’S• 116 S. Best Rd. • 891-8995 BOOMERS • 18219 E. Appleway Ave. • 755-7486 BOOTS BAKERY & LOUNGE • 24 W. Main Ave. • 703-7223 BOWL’Z BITEZ & SPIRITZ• 401 W. Riverside Suite 101. • 321-7480 BUCER’S COFFEEHOUSE PUB • 201 S. Main, Moscow • 208-882-5216 BUCKHORN INN • 13311 Sunset Hwy.• 244-3991 THE CELLAR • 317 E. Sherman, CdA • 208-6649463 CALYPSOS • 116 E Lakeside Ave., CdA • 208665-0591 CHAPS • 4237 Cheney-Spokane Rd. • 624-4182 CHATEAU RIVE • 621 W. Mallon Ave. • 795-2030 CHECKERBOARD BAR • 1716 E. Sprague • 535-4007 COEUR D’ALENE CASINO • 37914 S. Nukwalqw Rd., Worley • 800-523-2464 CURLEY’S • 26433 W. Hwy. 53 • 208-773-5816 DALEY’S CHEAP SHOTS • 6412 E. Trent • 535-9309 EICHARDT’S • 212 Cedar St., Sandpoint • 208263-4005 FEDORA PUB • 1726 W. Kathleen, CdA • 208765-8888 FIZZIE MULLIGANS • 331 W. Hastings Rd. • 466-5354 THE FLAME • 2401 E. Sprague Ave. • 534-9121 FOX THEATER • 1001 W. Sprague • 624-1200 GRANDE RONDE CELLARS • 906 W. 2nd • 455-8161 HANDLEBARS • 12005 E. Trent Ave.• 474-0933 THE HOP! • 706 N. Monroe St. • 368-4077 IRON HORSE • 407 E. Sherman Ave., CdA • 208-667-7314 IRV’S BAR • 415 W. Sprague Ave. • 624-4450 JOHN’S ALLEY • 114 E. 6th, Moscow • 208-8837662 JONES RADIATOR • 120 E. Sprague • 747-6005 KNITTING FACTORY • 911 W. Sprague Ave. • 244-3279 LAGUNA CAFÉ • 4302 S. Regal St. • 448-0887 THE LANTERN TAP HOUSE • 1004 S. Perry St. • 315-9531 THE LARIAT • 11820 N Market St, Mead • 466-9918 LA ROSA CLUB • 105 S. First Ave., Sandpoint • 208-255-2100 LATAH BISTRO • 4241 Cheney-Spokane Rd. • 838-8338 LEFTBANK WINE BAR • 108 N. Washington • 315-8623 LUCKY’S IRISH PUB • 408 W. Sprague Ave. • 747-2605 MAX AT MIRABEAU • 1100 N. Sullivan Rd. • 924-9000 MOOTSY’S • 406 W. Sprague • 838-1570 MOSCOW FOOD CO-OP • 121 E. Fifth St. • 208882-8537 NASHVILLE NORTH • 6361 W. Seltice Way, Post Falls • 208-457-9128 NECTAR• 120 N. Stevens St. • 869-1572 NORTHERN QUEST • 100 N. Hayford • 242-7000 NYNE • 232 W. Sprague Ave. • 474-1621 THE SHOP • 924 S. Perry St. • 534-1647 O’SHAY’S • 313 E. CdA Lake Dr. • 208-667-4666 THE PALOMINO CLUB • 6425 N. Lidgerwood St • 443-5213 PEND D’OREILLE WINERY • 301 Cedar St., Sandpoint • 208-265-8545 PINNACLE NORTHWEST • 412 W. Sprague • 368-4077 RED LION RIVER INN • 700 N. Division St. • 326-5577 RED ROOM LOUNGE • 521 W. Sprague Ave. • 838-7613 REPUBLIC BREWING • 26 Clark Ave. • 775-2700 THE ROADHOUSE • 20 N. Raymond • 413-1894 THE ROCK BAR • 13921 E. Trent Ave. • 43-3796 ROCKER ROOM • 216 E. Coeur d’Alene Ave. • 208-676-2582 ROCKET MARKET • 726 E. 43rd Ave. • 343-2253 SEASONS OF COEUR D’ALENE • 209 E. Lakeside Ave. • 208-664-8008 THE SHOP • 924 S. Perry St. • 534-1647 SOULFUL SOUPS & SPIRITS • 117 N. Howard St. • 459-1190 SPOKANE ARENA • 720 W. Mallon • 279-7000 SPLASH • 115 S. 2nd St., CdA • 208-765-4000 SWAXX • 23 E. Lincoln Rd. • 703-7474 THE SWAMP • 1904 W. Fifth Ave. • 458-2337 UNDERGROUND 15 • 15 S. Howard St. • 290-2122 THE VIKING • 1221 N. Stevens St. • 315-4547 WEBSTER’S • 1914 N. Monroe St. • 474-9040 ZOLA • 22 W. Main Ave. • 624-2416

MARCH 26, 2015 INLANDER 43

THEATER MIGHT FOR RIGHT

Broadway’s retelling of the famous legend of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table has a long and storied past. Premiering in 1960, Camelot’s original cast included Julie Andrews as Queen Guenevere, Richard Burton as King Arthur and Robert Goulet as Sir Lancelot. Running for 873 performances on Broadway, the Tony Award-winning Lerner and Loewe musical was also famously associated with the Kennedy presidency. The struggle between good and evil is the focus of any classic, and Camelot’s dark betrayals do not break from this form. — CHEY SCOTT Camelot • March 26-29; Thu-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sat at 2 pm, Sun at 1 and 6:30 pm • $32.50-$72.50 • INB Performing Arts Center • 334 W. Spokane Falls Blvd. • bestofbroadwayspokane.com • 279-7000

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44 INLANDER MARCH 26, 2015

THEATER CUTTING WORDS

A simple setup in God of Carnage leads to a complicated evening for both the characters and audience in Yasmina Reza’s Tonywinning play. Two sets of parents meet up to discuss a playground confrontation between their respective children, hoping to come to some “civilized” resolution. Instead, each of the parents’ own childish tendencies come to the fore as the quartet sharply — and often hilariously — verbally spars over topics ranging from race to class to homophobia. It’s a blend of drama and comedy that will leave audiences thinking long after the curtain falls. — DAN NAILEN God of Carnage • March 27-April 11; Thu-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm • $13-$21 • The Modern Theater Coeur d’Alene • 1320 E. Garden Ave. • themoderntheater.org • 208-676-7529

MUSIC DANCE-PUNK LIVES

If you’re still denying the death of LCD Soundsystem and need something like a weird dance party to fill that void, you should try !!! (Chk Chk Chk). The ensemble is led by Nic Offer, who got the band off the ground in Sacramento before they relocated to Brooklyn. The touring lineup is known to change, but always features a vibrant mix of electronic sounds with live instrumentation for a genre-hopping sound that touches on Afrobeat, indie rock and even a little funk. — MIKE BOOKEY !!! (Chk Chk Chk), Bandit Train • Fri, March 27, at 8 pm • $13/$15 day of • The Bartlett • 228 W. Sprague • thebartlettspokane.com • 747-2174

Picture Perfect

Comfort

COMEDY LAUGH ’TIL YOU DIE

Do you like your laughs served up with a side of murder, fava beans and a nice chianti? Probably not, since you’re not a psycho cannibal like Hannibal Lecter. But put the movie The Silence of the Lambs in the hands of some local comics, give the Oscar winner the Mystery Science Theater 3000 treatment, and suddenly Hannibal’s creepy interactions with FBI agent Clarice Starling and Buffalo Bill’s lotion storage quirks turn into joke fodder on April Fool’s Day. Local comedians Tom Meisjford, Nicky J. Cavasier, Harry J. Riley, Jason Komm and Will Gilman are all on hand, adding commentary to this presentation from Friends of the Bing and Not So Silent Movies. — DAN NAILEN Silence of the Lambs Comedy Cut • Wed, April 1, at 7:30 pm • $10 • Bing Crosby Theater • 901 W. Sprague • bingcrosbytheater.com • 227-7638

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MUSIC BLUE WATERS

The Lake City turns blue this weekend, as hundreds of music fans and musicians flock to the sixth annual Coeur d’Alene Blues Festival, a weekend-long affair. Considering the beautiful spring weather the Northwest has enjoyed so far this year, Friday’s Blues Cruise on the lake should be a highlight, as swinging sounds echo over the rippling water at sunset. Performances continue on Saturday, from noon to midnight. With numerous ticketing options, take in the whole festival, or just one day. — CHEY SCOTT Coeur d’Alene Blues Festival • March 27-29; times vary • $5-$20/event; $45/weekend pass (some shows free) • Coeur d’Alene Resort • 115 S. Second St. • cdabluesfestival.com • 208-765-4000, ext. 21

EVENTS | CALENDAR

BENEFIT

EVERGREEN EAST HUBAPALOOZA An event to benefit the new nonprofit’s Eastern Washington branch, which works to build and maintain trails in the region. Features local beer, a short film contest, auction, food and more. March 27, 7 pm. $5-$10 suggested donation. Rocket Market, 726 E. 43rd Ave. rocketmarket.com (343-2253) NAWBO UNCORKED! The Northwest Chapter of the National Association of Women Business Owners (NAWBO) host its 8th annual wine, beer, and spirits tasting and auction event. Funds raised support local nonprofit Transitions. March 27, 6-9 pm. $65. Martin Woldson Theater at The Fox, 1001 W. Sprague. (624-1200) SWEETHEARTS BALL The primary fun-

draiser event for Camp Journey, a camp for children with cancer. Includes dinner, entertainment, casino-themed games and more. March 27. $65/couple; $120/ pair. CdA Resort, 115 S. Second. sweetheartsballcda.com (208-661-2324) AN EVENING WITH HARLEY-DAVIDSON Event includes a cocktail hour, silent auction, dinner, and live auction to benefit the local Muscular Dystrophy Association. March 28, 6 pm. $50/person. Barrister Winery, 1213 W. Railroad Ave. barristerwinery.com (325-3747) BLUEGRASS CONCERT & SPAGHETTI FEED Concert by the Mountain Dew Boys and a spaghetti dinner to benefit a local community member being treated for cancer. March 28, 5:30 pm. Green Bluff United Methodist Church, 9908 E. Greenbluff Rd. (979-2607)

20% OFF your entire purchase Conveniently located in Spokane Valley, we are accessible in 15 minutes for most people from Spokane, Deer Park, Liberty Lake, Post Falls, Coeur d’Alene and Hayden Idaho. We are just off the freeway, next to the Krispy Kreme and Best Buy stores located east of the Spokane Valley Mall. *Must bring in this ad for discount. Not valid with any other offer. Expires 4/2/15.

MARCH 26, 2015 INLANDER 45

RELATIONSHIPS

Advice Goddess EyES ThAT LiGhT UP A Womb

I’m a 35-year-old guy who’s doing online dating and who’s against having kids for moral reasons. Don’t get me wrong; I love kids. I just don’t think we need any more people on this crowded, violent planet. I’m wondering whether I should make the “no kids” thing clear in my profile. I know this can be a major deal-breaker for many women. —Nobody’s Daddy

AMY ALKON

Saying you won’t have kids for “moral reasons” sounds better than my reasons: I find them loud, sticky, and expensive. There’s also the problem of how long they take to, uh, ripen, which used to be 18 years — before kids started living at home until 30. (Many murder sentences are shorter.) And now, bear with me as I put a buzz saw through your reasons. As for this “violent planet” business, it used to be that somebody was always cracking somebody over the head with a cudgel. But today, as psychologist Steven Pinker reports in “The Better Angels of Our Nature,” the planet is less violent than ever, and violence continues to decline. As for the “crowded” argument, in 2011, National Geographic’s Robert Kunzig reported that all seven billion earthlings could fit comfortably in Texas — “if Texas were settled as densely as New York City.” And it turns out that women in the U.S. aren’t having enough children to replace the population dying off. According to World Bank data, American mommies are only having 1.9 children, while demographers put the replacement rate at 2.1 of the screeching, airplane seat-kicking little darlings. The good news is that if you truly like kids, you don’t have to bring them into the world to bring them into your life. There’s adoption, of course (though most women who can give birth to children will want to instead of importing one “made in China”). But there are also countless kids already in existence whose divorced, widowed, or otherwise single moms have a harder time finding boyfriends — even if they’re uber-hot and so sweet they make your teeth hurt. Do profile searches for moms, and say in your profile that you don’t want to create new earthlings but love kids and are open to a woman who already has some. To describe the likely spike in your popularity after hanging the “Welcome, Single Moms!” sign, well, ever watch a pack of wild dingoes descend on a downed cow? Then again, say you like your life child-free but went all eco-pacifist so you wouldn’t seem like a big meanie. Definitely put the “nobody’s daddy” thing in your profile. You might also want to consider a vasectomy (with a surgeon who does loads of them, which lessens the risks). Unfortunately, getting snipped is not the deterrent to aspiring mommies you might think it would be. Women pining to spawn are prone to chirp, “Vasectomies can be reversed!” — forgetting that it’s a little harder to reverse a man’s aversion to, say, tapping into a quarter-millionplus dollars of his earnings to fund orthodontia, grad school and rehab. More bad news: For some women, not wanting kids at the moment seems to be no guarantee of not eventually wanting them. Badly. Desperately. And by the way, I’ve always found the “Come on, you’ll want kids someday!” remark insulting, as if some random stranger at a cocktail party could know my mind better than I do. But a study in the Journal of Evolutionary Psychology by Finnish researcher Anna Rotkirch found that women — like me — who were sure they didn’t want children sometimes found themselves suddenly experiencing “baby fever,” which goes way beyond the wish to have a child. It’s a painful physical longing to have a baby (often experienced in a woman’s early 20s and between 28 and 35). One of Rotkirch’s subjects, a woman in her 30s who knew it wasn’t the right time for a child, described feeling an “agonizing” and “all-encompassing desire” to have one, to the point where she was “practically ready to rob a sperm bank.” In other words, yes: Disclose! Disclose! Disclose! State your preference in your profile. But don’t think that this will be any sort of mandate for women to care about what you want. Some will — even some of those with a uterus howling, “I WANT A BAYBEEE!” They’ll be the ones who default to their ethics instead of their biology. So until there’s highly reliable male birth control that doesn’t require a scalpel, make it your priority to find out whether a woman is ethical before having sex with her. It’s really your best — and maybe only — defense against the joy of bringing something into the world that spends half its time hating you and the other half begging you for money. n

46 INLANDER MARCH 26, 2015

EVENTS | CALENDAR FORMAL DRESS AUCTION A dress auction and raffle to benefit the 2015 Cheney High School senior all-nighter. March 28, 1 pm. $5. Cheney High School, 460 N. 6th St. (559-4001) CAMP STIX DINNER AUCTION Annual dinner auction benefitting Camp STIX Diabetes Programs, which enable enables children living with Type 1 diabetes to go to summer camp. March 28, 5:30-9:30 pm. $70/person; $500/table. Mirabeau Park Hotel, 1100 N. Sullivan Rd. campstix.org/auction (484-1366) URBAN ART CO-OP OPEN HOUSE Open house at the new studio, offering registration for classes in wheel throwing and hand building, studio tours and a handmade mug sale fundraiser. March 28-29, from 9 am-2 pm. Free admission. Urban Art Co-op, 3017 N. Monroe. urbanartcoop.org (720-7624) LET’S PLAY FOR THE SYMPHONY 25th annual event hosted by the Forte Plus Chapter of Spokane Symphony, offering table games, a luncheon and auction. March 30, 10 am-3 pm. $25. Manito Country Club, 5303 S. Hatch Rd. spokanesymphonyassoc.org (458-8733)

COMEDY

STAND-UP COMEDY OPEN MIC Local comedians; see weekly schedule online. Thursdays at 8 pm. Free. Uncle D’s Comedy Underground, 2721 N. Market St. bluznews.com (483-7300) AFTER DARK A adult-rated version of the Blue Door’s monthly, Friday show; last Friday of the month, at 10 pm. $7. Blue Door Theatre, 815 W. Garland Ave. bluedoortheatre.com (747-7045)

BOOMERANG BABY BOOMER COMEDY BASH A retro laughfest featuring David Gee, Kat Simmons and Marc Yaffee, sharing stories, jokes and observations about growing up Boomer. March 27, 8-10 pm. $12. Panida Theater, 300 N. First Ave. (208-255-9191) CRIME SHOW Improv comedy show inspired by the plots/characters of crime detective TV series. Fridays in March, at 8 pm. $7. Blue Door Theatre, 815 W. Garland Ave. (747-7045) LIVE, LOCAL COMEDIANS Jay Wendel Walker and Jim Green. March 27-28 at 8 pm. $12. Uncle D’s Comedy Underground, 2721 N. Market St. (483-7300) BOOMERANG BABY BOOMER COMEDY BASH Featuring David Gee (Showtime With Rita Rudner), Kat Simmons (The Comedy Channel) and Marc Yaffee (Comics Unleashed), sharing stories, jokes and observations about growing up Boomer. March 28, 8 pm. $20. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague. (227-7404) DIVIDED COMEDY TOUR Ty Barnett has appeared on “Last Comic Standing” and the “Tonight Show.” Ian Harris, from Comedy Central, is a balding and bespectacled hip white guy. From these divergent personas and perspectives, the two men unite their audiences through laughter. March 28, 8-10 pm. $20-$35. Knitting Factory, 919 W. Sprague. (244-3279) SAFARI Fast-paced short-form improv games based on audience suggestions. (Not rated.) Saturdays at 9 pm. $7. Blue Door Theatre, 815 W. Garland Ave. bluedoortheatre.com (747-7045)

COMMUNITY

EASTER BUNNY PHOTOS The Easter Bunny hops into the first-level atrium at River Park Square to celebrate spring’s time-honored tradition. Visit him daily through April 4; times vary. River Park Square, 808 W. Main Ave. (624-3945) FREE TAX PREPARATION IRS-certified volunteers assist those who earn less than $52,427 in preparing and e-filing their taxes at 8 locations throughout Spokane County. Sites open through April 15. unitedwayspokane.org (353-4851) MOMS CLUB EGG HUNT & OPEN HOUSE The North Spokane chapter of the international support group for stay-at-home moms hosts an Easter party and open house. RSVP requested. March 26, 3:305 pm. Free. Life Center Church, 1202 N. Government Way. (710-5888) SPOKANE VALLEY ARTS COUNCIL SCULPTURE UNVEILING Unveiling of the sculpture by Jerry McKellar, donated by the Spokane Valley Arts Council. March 26, 4 pm. Free. Mirabeau Point Park, 2426 N. Discovery Place. spokanevalleyarts.org (924-5009) FOURTH FRIDAY PUB PEDDLERS Group cycling ride, making a few stops along the way to a final destination. Meets at 7 pm, departs at 8 pm. Free. Swamp Tavern, 1904 W. Fifth. (251-2107) BLOOMSDAY TRAINING CLINICS Sessions begin with a presentation on race training, followed by warm-up and a supported run. Routes increase by a mile each week to prep for the full length of the Bloomsday course. Saturdays at 8:30 am, through April 25. Free. SFCC, 3410 W. Fort George Wright Dr.

phc.org (533-3500) DIABETES DAY The 15th annual event includes workshops, vendors, health information and free health clinics to promote diabetes awareness and self-management. Reservations requested; includes lunch. March 28, 8 am-2 pm. $10. Spokane Community College, 1810 N. Greene. rockwoodclinic.com (710-0538) EASTER FOR KIDS Annual kids (ages 3-12) celebration with crafts, music, creative-learning activities, egg hunt and complimentary lunch. March 28, 10 am12:30 pm. Free; pre-registration requested. St. Matthew Lutheran Church, 6905 N. Country Homes Blvd. (326-3766) SPOKANE WOMEN’S SUMMIT A benefit for the Spokane Woman’s Club, with a champagne brunch and program in celebration of Women’s History Month. Local women-focused organizations are also on site to share their programs and resources. March 28, 10 am-noon. $20. Woman’s Club of Spokane, 1428 W. Ninth. womansclubspokane.org (838-5667) WILD IDAHO RISING TIDE 4TH ANNIVERSARY Community celebration and fundraiser to benefit the local environmental activism group. Includes live music, a potluck dinner, raffle and more. March 28, 7 pm-midnight. $5. 1912 Center, 412 E. Third. wildidahorisingtide. org (208-301-8039) SCHOOL’S OUT DAY CAMP Spring break day camps offering swimming, rock climbing, arts projects and more. Reservations required. March 30-April 3, from 9 am-4 pm. $28-$35/day. Kroc Center, 1765 W. Golf Course Rd. kroccda. org (208-667-1865) FRIENDS OF THE BLUFF ANNUAL

MEETING Includes a keynote address, “The Bluff - Wildlife Nirvana, Crossroads, or Death Trap?” The community is also invited to brainstorm a long range plan and fundraising ideas for the group. March 31, 6:30-8:30 pm. Free. St. Stephen’s Episcopal Church, 5720 S. Perry. friendsofthebluff.org (477-2167)

FILM

FROM SPOKANE WITH LOVE A locally-made documentary following the journey of Shahrokh Nikfar and five Spokanites, in an attempt to dispel misinformation and stereotypes about Iran and the Middle East. Panel discussion to follow. March 26, 7 pm. $8. Magic Lantern Theatre, 25 W. Main. (209-2383) ONLY THE ESSENTIAL: HIKING THE PACIFIC CREST TRAIL In the summer of 2013 Casey Gannon and Colin Arisman thru-hiked the Pacific Crest Trail with cameras in hand. “Only The Essential” is the story of their 5 month, 2668 mile journey on foot. March 26, 6:30-8:30 pm. Free. Gonzaga University Jepson Center, 502 E. Boone. tinyurl. com/op3adkn (313-4189) SPOKANE FILM SOCIETY The local group screens a film to get audiences thinking, with each month focusing on a new theme. Beer/wine and food for purchase during the show. Thursdays at 9 pm. $5. Garland Theater, 924 W. Garland Ave. (327-1050) 50 HOUR SLAM KICKOFF Criteria, rules and entry forms are distributed to teams participating in the 5th annual Inland Northwest film contest and festival. Filmmakers have 50 hours to complete a 3-6 minute film, from beginning to

end. Contest screening/awards set for May 2. March 27, 7:30 pm. Free. KSPS Public TV, 3911 S. Regal St. 50hourslam. com (354-7724) THE FISH BETWEEN THE FALLS Screening of a documentary on habitat restoration efforts for white sturgeon on the Kootenai River. March 27, 6:30 pm. Free. Coeur d’Alene Public Library, 702 E. Front Ave. (208-769-2315) NATIVE AMERICAN FILM FESTIVAL The University of Idaho’s 13th annual Sapaatka’yn Cinema festival features a mix of documentaries, animated shorts and programing for all ages. March 27 at 6:30 pm and March 28 from 1-7:30 pm. Free. Kenworthy, 508 S. Main St. uidaho. edu/SapaatkaynCinema (208-882-0109) TAP INTO KYRS KYRS presents a special 31st anniversary screening of “This Is Spinal Tap” with a costume contest, trivia, prizes and more. March 27, 8-10 pm. $10. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague. tinyurl.com/osrgwad (747-3012) HERMANAS SPOKANE SCREENING Two films (Romero, 4 and 6:30 pm; Monsenor: the Last Journey of Oscar Romero, 4:15 and 6:45 pm) honoring Archbishop Oscar Romero on the 35th anniversary of his assassination. Hosted by Hermanas Spokane in support of literacy in El Salvador. March 30. $8$10. Magic Lantern, 25 W. Main. hermanasspokane.org (209-2383) OSCAR-NOMINATED ANIMATED SHORTS Films include: The Bigger Picture, The Dam Keeper, Feast, Me and My Moulton, A Single Life and three other shorts, TBA. April 1, 7-9 pm. $3-$6. The Kenworthy, 508 S. Main. (208-882-4127) NOT SO SILENT FILMS: SILENCE OF

THE LAMBS Not So Silent Films blends comedy and cult-classic films for an evening of parody in the style of MST3K, but with a panel of local comedians slinging their satire. April 1, 7:30 pm. $10/$12. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague Ave. (227-7404) THE BOXTROLLS Seating is on a first come basis; doors open at 2 pm. April 1, 2:30-5 pm. $1. Kroc Center, 1765 W. Golf Course Rd. (208-667-1865) THE LORAX Doors open at 2 pm; seating is on a first come basis. April 2, 2:30-4 pm. $1. Kroc Center, 1765 W. Golf Course Rd. (208-667-1865) OR7 — THE JOURNEY A documentary about the incredible journey of OR-7, a grey wolf collared in Oregon and eventually dispersed from his pack. Film followed by a panel discussion with the filmmaker and wildlife conflict experts. April 3-4 at 7 pm. $7.50. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague Ave. bingcrosbytheater.com (227-7404)

FOOD & DRINK

VINO WINE TASTING Friday, March 27 highlights Folio Family of Wines, from 3-6:30 pm. Saturday, March 28 showcases Schug Carneros Estate, from 2-4:30 pm. Vino! A Wine Shop, 222 S. Washington St. (838-1229) BUT I COULD NEVER GO VEGAN! Members of the Inland Northwest Vegans group offer an overview of why people choose veganism, plant-based dairy and meat replacements, and meal planning and local resources. March 28, 1 pm. Free. Indian Trail Library, 4909 W. Barnes. (444-5395)

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BE AWARE: Marijuana is legal for adults 21 and older under Washington State law (e.g., RCW 69.50, RCW 69.51A, HB0001 and Initiative 502). State law does not preempt federal law; possessing, using, distributing and selling marijuana remains illegal under federal law. In Washington State, consuming marijuana in public, driving while under the influence of marijuana and transporting marijuana across state lines are all illegal. Marijuana has intoxicating effects and may be habit forming. It can also impair concentration, coordination and judgment. Do not operate a vehicle or machinery under the influence of this drug. For more information, consult the Washington State Liquor Control Board at www.liq.wa.gov.

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hile college students prepare for spring break debauchery, it’s business as usual for 3 Green Thumbs. The medical marijuana dispensary located near Eastern Washington University is the only business of its kind in Cheney due to zoning regulations. Despite the location, 70 percent of their customers are women ages 40 to 70 suffering from diseases like bone cancer, multiple sclerosis and arthritis, says co-owner Dennis Turner. These women aren’t gearing up for postexamination parties — just continued relief from the pain. “This is a new field for us, but the one thing we focus on is one patient at a time,” Turner says. “We take the time to discuss our patient’s condition and preferred method of ingestion to dial in a treatment plan based off their ailments.” Turner and co-owners Michael Schofield and Dan Magadanz opened the business in January, and have since sold to more than 500 patients who travel as far as Medical Lake, Ritzville, Rosalia and Moses Lake. “It was crazy, we all started off as patients,” Turner says laughing. “Patients with a backyard experiment and garage with plants. It expanded from there.” Today, their storefront on First Street feels almost like a doctor’s office, complete with informational packets about different diseases and treatment options. The business carries a variety of strains and hybrids, edibles, concen-

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COOKING CLASSES AT GREENBRIAR Class topics include edible gifts, creole/cajun cooking, asian food, hearty dinners, Latin food, soups and more. Classes on March 28, and April 4, 11, 18 from 11 am-1:30 pm. $45. Greenbriar Inn, 315 Wallace Ave. (208-667-9660) APPLE CIDER VINEGAR CLASS Spokane Edible Tree project hosts a workshop on how to make apple cider vinegar with surplus apples. Participants need to bring their own supplies (see link). March 31, 6-8 pm. $15. WSU Spokane County Extension, 222 N. Havana St. tinyurl.com/p3cqtym FLORA YOGURT TASTING Local yogurt maker Karyna Hamilton hosts a sampling of her yogurt varieties in a drop-in format. March 31, 5-7 pm. $8, reservations requested. Rocket Market, 726 E. 43rd Ave. (343-2253) HALE’S BREWERY NIGHT Meet Hale’s Brew Master Mike Hale during a tasting event with giveaways and beer specials. March 31, 7-10 pm. Rico’s, 200 E. Main, Pullman. tinyurl.com/mtdkkwe VEGETABLE GARDENING 101 Master Gardener Steve Nokes teaches basic information on design, soil preparation, planting, watering, weeding, fertilizing and when to harvest and more. March 31, 6:30 pm. Free. Shadle Library, 2111 W. Wellesley St. (444-5390)

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trates, tinctures and pre-rolled joints. The owners plan to implement a membership and loyalty program in April, which will offer members first pick on certain strains and grams, package deals and giveaway incentives. Turner says the city has embraced 3 Green Thumbs, and the business plans to give back to the community through sponsored events. The business will participate in the Feed Cheney program, which provides nutritional food to low-income residents, and they have plans to host a free Easter egg hunt and barbecue. “We will continue every single month to do something for the city of Cheney to give back and say thanks,” Turner says. “They can expect to see a lot of noise from 3 Green Thumbs. … Our goal moving forward is to just keep helping patients one at a time, and remembering it’s not about the money but helping out the people.” n 3 Green Thumbs • 1875 First St., Cheney • Open Mon-Sat, 11 am-7 pm • 3greenthumbs.com • 235-9240

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MUSIC

BEAUTY ON A FRIDAY AFTERNOON Friday Musical, 99-year-old champion of fine music in Spokane, presents a concert by pianist Joyce Kelly, soprano Mary Jo Beck, and members of Tapestry. March 27, 1-2:30 pm. Free. St. Stephen’s Episcopal Church, 5720 S. Perry St. (448-2255) BILLY D & THE HOODOOS An dinner concert fundraiser to support Plummer’s community concert in July. March 27, 7 pm. $20. Bobbi’s Bar & Grill, 785 C St, Plummer. on.fb. me/1xsFkEU (208-686-1677) SPOKANE SYMPHONY Classics Series No. 8 “Eastern Journeys” highlights the mythical past of the Persian Empire through pieces by Behzad Ranjbaran, Mohammed Fairouz and others. Featuring soloist clarinetist Daniel Cotter. March 28 at 8 pm and March 29 at 3 pm. Prices vary. Martin Woldson Theater at The Fox, 1001 W. Sprague. spokanesymphony.org (624-1200) POCKET VINYL A one-man piano band and on-stage painter who creates a work of art during the show that’s auctioned off at the end. April 1, 8-10 pm. Free. Checkerboard Bar, 1716 E. Sprague. (535-4007)

SPORTS & OUTDOORS

PACIFIC NORTHWEST QUALIFIER The regional junior volleyball tournament takes place at the Spokane Convention Center, EWU Cheney and the HUB Sports Center. March 27-29. Spokane Convention Center, 334 W. Spokane Falls Blvd. pacificnwqualifier.org SPOKANE MOUNTAINEERS BACKPACK SCHOOL Learn or refresh the necessary skills to feel confident and comfortable backpacking. Meets Friday evenings, starting March 27. Space is limited. $40 (plus membership dues). Mountain Gear Corporate Offices, 6021 E. Mansfield Ave. spokan-

emountaineers.org (999-5708) 2015 NCAA DIVISION 1 WOMAN’S REGIONALS The Women’s Sweet Sixteen returns to Spokane for the fifth time since 2001, and features three games over two days of competition. Games scheduled for March 28 at 1:30 pm and 4 pm and March 30 at 6 pm. $35-$45. Spokane Arena, 720 W. Mallon Ave. spokanearena.com DEER ADVISORY GROUP A presentation in support of the new City of Medical Lake Ordinance #1031. Topics include deer-resistant landscapes, gardening and deterrents. March 28, 9 am-noon. Free. Medical Lake City Hall, 124 S. Lefevre. (299-5397) OPENING DAY FOR TRAILS Spokane outdoors enthusiasts join other communities throughout the nation in getting out on trails to celebrate spring. Guided hikes throughout the area begin at 10 or noon, sign up online to participate in event. March 28. Free. greenstonehomes.com/trails WASHINGTON TRAILS ASSOCIATION AT KNOTHEAD TRAIL Help with trail improvements and maintenance on the Knothead Trail, in conjunction with Spokane County Parks and Riverside State Park. Register online. March 28, 8:30 am-3:30 pm. Riverside State Park. wta. org/volunteer/east (509-921-8928) STROLLER STRIDES WITH FIT4MOM SPOKANE Moms of stoller-aged kids (0-4) can join Fit4Mom Spokane for a free session to learn how to involve young ones in their workouts. Register online. March 30, 5:30 pm. Free. REI, 1125 N. Monroe. (328-9900) SCENIC FAMILY HIKES Learn about the best family-friendly hikes in and around Spokane. Also get tips for hiking with children. March 31, 6:30 pm. Free. Indian Trail Library, 4909 W. Barnes Rd. (444-5395) SPOKANE CHIEFS Hockey match vs. the Everett Silvertips, April 1 and 3, at 7:05 pm. $10-$23. Spokane Arena, 720 W. Mallon Ave. (279-7000) BEGINNING BIRD WATCHING Meets in the education classroom at the refuge; also includes a hands-on hike. Ages 8+; register online or call. April 4, May 9 and June 6, from 9-11 am. $3/family entrance fee. Turnbull National Wildlife Refuge, 26010 S. Smith Rd. fotnwr.org/ activities.html (448-2291) FREE STATE PARKS DAY In celebration of Washington State Parks’ 102nd birthday, residents are offered access to any state park without needing a Discover Pass. April 4, April 22, May 10, June 6, June 13, Aug. 25, Sept. 26, Nov. 11. Free. parks.wa.gov

THEATER

CAMELOT Performance of the legendary stage musical. March 26-29, show times vary. INB Performing Arts Center, 334 W. Spokane Falls Blvd. bestofbroadwayspokane.com CLUE: THE MUSICAL A fun murder mystery based on the classic game of the same name. Through April 12; ThuSat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. $22. Spokane Civic Theatre, 1020 N. Howard St. spokanecivictheatre.com (325-2507) FUNNY GIRL Performance by the award-winning Central Valley Theatre Department. March 25-28. at 7:30 pm. $12-$15. Central Valley High School, 821 S. Sullivan Rd. (927-6848)

MARCH 26, 2015 INLANDER 49

EVENTS | CALENDAR

The Rock Rollers Club of Spokane presents

56 Annual th

Gem, Jewelry & Mineral Show Featuring Lapidary Artistry of Olive Colhour

MARCH 27, 28 & 29

Spokane County Fair & Expo Center • 604 N. Havana, Spokane

10am - 6pm Friday & Saturday • 10am - 4pm Sunday Admission $6 • Seniors (65+), Military & Advance $5 Scouts in Uniform & Children 12 & under FREE Free Parking Tickets Good All Weekend Advance Tickets available at rockrollers.org

6TH ANNUAL NORTHWOODS UNLEASHED An evening of live theater and music to kick off the performing arts group’s 2015 season. March 27 and 28 at 7:30 pm; includes pre-show, catered dinner option ($25), at 6:30 pm. $12. Circle Moon Theater, Hwy 211 off Hwy 2. (208-448-1294) AS BEES IN HONEY DROWN A satiric dramedy about people seeking fame and fortune and the lengths to which they are willing to go in their quest. Through March 29; Fri-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. $13-$5. Ignite Community Theatre, 10814 E. Broadway. (795-0004) GOD OF CARNAGE Performance of the three-time Tony Award-winning comedy about the tension between civilized behavior and savage instinct. March 27-April 12; Thur-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Modern Theater Coeur d’Alene, 1320 E. Garden. themoderntheater.org VENUS IN FUR Presentation of the Tony-Award winning play by David Ives. March 27-April 4; Fri-Sat at 7 pm. $15. Hope Marketplace, 620 Wellington Place, Hope, Idaho. (208-534-1140) STAGE TO SCREEN: OF MICE AND MEN A screening of the National Theatre Live’s production of the John Steinbeck classic, starring James Franco and Chris O’Dowd. March 29, 2 pm. $15. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague. (227-7404)

VISUAL ARTS

EYE 4 ART 25 local, professional artists show and sell pieces alongside displays of work and art demonstrations by visual arts students, with proceeds supporting arts education in the Mead School Dis-

trict. March 28, 12-5 pm. $2-$15. Mead High School, 302 W. Hastings. facebook. com/SupportEye4Art (465-7046) BEHIND-THE-SCENES SUNDAY “UpClose and Personal: The Z. (Zama) Vanessa Helder Depression-Era Watercolors” presented by MAC curators Valerie Wahl and Marsha Rooney, along with Margaret Bullock of the Tacoma Art Museum. March 29, 1 pm. $25. The MAC, 2316 W. First Ave. (456-3931) THE WOMEN OF THE WPA FEDERAL ART PROJECT Tacoma Art Museum curator Margaret Bullock talks about the WPA’s focus on arts-related projects, which offered a number of women artist’s new opportunities to work professionally. March 29, 2:30 pm. Regular museum admission. The MAC, 2316 W. First Ave. (456-3931) MIDWEEK MONET Local artists provide step-by-step introduction to acrylic painting. Glass of wine included in admission; supplies provided. April 1, 14; May 6, 20; June 17; from 5:30-8:30 pm. $40/class. The JACC, 405 N. William St, Post Falls. (208-457-8950)

WORDS

DON’T JUST CHANGE THE CHANNEL Popular writer, editor and cultural critic Andi Zeisler presents. March 31, 6 pm. Free. Whitworth University, 300 W. Hawthorne Rd. (777-1000) GRAPHIC NOVEL PANEL A panel discussion with professional graphic artists Isabel Melancon, Megan Heaton, and Laura Neuber, talking about their work, the process and sharing their newest anthology, “Namesake.” March

31, 7 pm. Free. Auntie’s, 402 W. Main Ave. (838-0206) THE PACIFIC NORTHWEST’S EARLIEST PEOPLES “Searching for Evidence of the Pacific Northwest’s Earliest Peoples: Recent Archaeological Discoveries From the Cooper’s Ferry Site, Idaho,” presented by Loren Davis, a researcher with Oregon State University. April 1, 6:30 pm. Free and open to the public. The MAC, 2316 W. First Ave. (315-5705)

ETC.

JUST BETWEEN FRIENDS Sale of gently-used infant through juniors and maternity clothing, baby gear, books, games and toys. March 27-29. $5/Sat & Sun; free admission/Sun. Spokane Fair & Expo Center, 404 N. Havana. spokane.jbfsale.com (536-2840) SPRING HAS SPRUNG Third annual event, offering antiques, jewelry, vintage items, furniture, primitives, linens and more. March 27-28, from 10 am-4 pm. Free admission. Past Blessings Farm, 8521 N. Orchard Prairie. pastblessings.com (499-5099) HOLISTIC FESTIVAL The 30th annual festival hosts short lectures through the day, vendor booths and info on organic/ natural products, remedies naturopaths and more. March 28, 10 am-6 pm. $6. CenterPlace Event Center, 2426 N. Discovery Pl. (468-9001) SPOKANE ORCHID SOCIETY SHOW Orchids on display and for sale. March 28, from 12-6 pm, March 29, from 10 am-3 pm. $2. Vicki’s Garden Center, 2100 S. Inland Empire Way. spokaneorchidsociety.org (202-9272) 

CASH & CONCERTS WIN $100

at 8:40am/ 12:40pm/ 3:40pm Weekdays

Grand Prize Wins:

Tickets to see

GARTH BROOKS in Portland April 11, 2015

50 INLANDER MARCH 26, 2015

THIS WEEK'S ANSWERS

HOW TO SUBMIT

1. Visit Inlander.com/isawyou by 3 pm Monday. 2. Pick a category (I Saw You, You Saw Me, Cheers, Jeers). 3. Provide basic info: your name and email (so we know you’re real). 4. To connect, provide a non-identifying email like “petals327@yahoo.com” — not “j.smith@comcast.net” — to be included with your submission.

I Saw You

Cheers

Jeers

Handsome guy in black truck Handsome guy in black truck at Memories Diner in downtown Ritzville. We shared smiles and glances. me coming out of Uniquely Washington with twisted shots. You made my day, I want to share the shots...

and trust. I’ve heard great things always come from hard tribulations, and I hope that for you and I. Always smile and let little things roll off your beautiful shoulder and appreciate those who stand behind you. Love you!

was I? Spoiled all, spoiled all. Everything’s gone all wrong What have I done? What have I done? Find a deep cave to hide in, in a million years they’ll find me. Only dust and a plaque that reads ‘Here Lies Poor Old Jack’ But I never intended all this madness, never..... for ever your Jack?

personality, etc. I have had nothing but problems! I will NEVER give the dog back to THEW. Did you know there are no “Regulations” on running one? ANYONE CAN BECOME A RESCUE. Just saying. Do not get screwed like I did.

a dog that we know is not a service animal but we cannot do a thing about it. If we question the validity of their animal we can get sued. Unfortunately there are a lot of people out there that know this and use it against us. This makes people like you upset and for that we are truly sorry, but it is not our fault. The problem could be solved if we could just get the government to clarify what service animals are and to also require that they wear something all the time that shows the public and store owners they are working. Because we cannot ask an owner to see proof that there dog is a service animal. Like I said our hands are tied. We put signs in the doors and windows letting the public know that it is against health regulations, but they don’t care. The most that we can do is keep them from putting the dog in the cart, and making sure that they have them on the ground and on a leash. If you really want something done about this write you government officials and tell them how you feel. But please understand trashing people and companies in the Inlander won’t change anything. All it does is hurt people that are just trying to do their jobs the best they can. Our jobs rely on customer service and it sucks to be caught in the middle. It would be nice if you would look at all sides next time.

and try to cut me off from making my perfectly legitimate pass. Now imagine my dismay when after I merge into the middle lane (huh, it’s almost like it’s what you’re supposed to do) that I’m met with not one middle finger, but two! One from the teenage daughter, and one from the parent of the year in the drivers seat. Now I can tell your daughter has a bright future ahead of her because of the way you behave, but I’d suggest changing your driving habits before the police are scraping her off the road because she acts like mommy when she’s behind a 2-ton bomb with wheels. Be mad all you want, but you were in the wrong, and you made the road unsafe for everyone around you that day. I know the phrase “Keep right except to pass.” is a really difficult concept, but if you’re going to drive in the fast lane at a sub-speed limit pace, have the courtesy to refrain from a temper tantrum and vehicular manslaughter charge because you don’t understand how the road rules work.

Rocket Girl You: Rocket Girl, Beautiful, Brunette, Glasses. Me: Americano, Beard. You left on Sunday before I could ask you to Dinner. How about Friday? I’ll be in this week. The Elk Public House We sat near each other at the bar on a Sunday afternoon (3/22). I was with my friend, wearing the workout gear. You were sitting by yourself, enjoying a beer. I was too wrapped up in my conversation with my friend to engage you in the conversation I would have liked too. You had dark hair, your face and demeanor reminding me of Joseph Gordon-Levitt. I purposefully joked about being single to my friend as I saw you glance through the Inlander, clearly listening to our conversation more than reading the articles. Hopefully you read all the way to the end of the Inlander next time and see this. Respond here and maybe we can actually meet the next time we enjoy drinks next to each other. Shadle Safeway Angel Gorgeous brown eyes, curly hair, and hard working (I’ve admired your work ethic there). I want use this space to tell you that I appreciate you, not sure I tell you enough. I am a fox playing in your meadow. The grass sways in the wind. I fear you at first, but realize your intentions are good so I continue to play as I watch you in curiosity

Cheers A Big thank you to “Kelly” Whoever you are, please accept my sincerest thanks for putting a note on my Honda Element. You warned me of 2 low tires while I was shopping @ Trading Company in Post Falls, Idaho. I had 2 dogs, and a foster dog waiting for me in the car. This could have been a disaster!!!!!!! I was able to make it home and take care of the problem. You are an angel! This was awesome because I would never had checked those tires. Thank you thank you thank you. I wish you many blessings. 21 jumps on the street To everyone who stopped for a girl and her jumper cable necklace... thank you. My alternator was failing and I knew it but you didn’t. With three kids we needed to go as close to home as possible and knew with the battery not recharging it wouldn’t be far...each and every one of you took time from your day to help thank you. A special thanks to Rick in a white jeep, Jake in the red truck, Larry, and a lady whose name I did not get but you pushed us through the intersection on Freya thank you to everyone. The car is fixed now and we will pass the good karma on because like you Isaiah I too believe. SALLY What have I done? What have I done? How could I be so blind? All this loss, where

Coupon Elf There doesn’t seem to be enough Cheers lately so I’d like to send one for the Safeway shopper who gave me coupons

Take a chill pill To the person so angry at the Saleslady “I Saw You”, take a giant chill pill. You first of all misunderstood the post. It was directed at the Saleslady

“Jeers to all the people driving with studded tires on their car or ROAD DAMAGE truck... ” today for my eggs and toilet paper since she wasn’t using them. That was so generous, thoughtful, and completely unexpected. Thanks for making my day! Clinkerdaggers Hero Thanks to the guy who bought my friend and I lunch on my 65th birthday. We’ll be sure to “pay it forward”.

Jeers Rescue Groups Beware of who you are dealing with when you decide to get a furry friend from a Rescue Group. MAKE SURE THEY ARE LEGITIMATE!!!!! Some are out to make money and are not really there for the pet. Please do your research. Check out their personal pages, comments, etc. The more the better. I dealt with one and the youngsters were always getting their nails done and taking trips. I got a dog and they lied about the

and wasn’t in fact written by her. Secondly, don’t take everything you read so seriously. Sometimes people are joking about a friend. Take deep, slow breaths before freaking out next time. Or get on anxiety medication. Either helps. RE: Your Lettuce is on my naked butt I just felt the need to clear up a few points concerning stores allowing people to bring their dog inside. You seem to think that we are willingly welcoming it. Well the truth is we don’t like anymore than you do! Try being that person that works in the store. We have to hold are tongues 95% of time. Even when they allow the dog to relieve their bowels on our floor and we get stuck cleaning it up. There are very strict rules and regulations when it comes to governing people and the animals that service them. We can have a person come in our store with

Stellar role model in the gold SUV Alright, I know it doesn’t feel good to get passed in the fast lane by someone in the middle lane, but I’m assuming it feels better than almost getting smashed between a truck trailer and an insane SUV driver with her teenage daughter because said mother decided it would be a good idea to speed up

Road damage Jeers to all the people driving with studded tires on their car or truck. You think you’re safer with those studded tires, and you are when you’re driving on compact snow and ice, which happens less than 10% of the time in Eastern Washington and this year closer to 0%. You’re actually less safe when the pavement is bare. Think of it like wearing your golf spikes while walking on concrete or asphalt. Have you noticed the rutted roadways and highways, like I-90? You are a major contributor to those ruts. So get rid of those studs, be safer behind the wheel and stop damaging the roads.

“I Saw You” is for adults 18 or older. The Inlander reserves the right to edit or reject any advertisement at any time at its sole discretion and assumes no responsibility for the content.

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MARCH 26, 2015 INLANDER 51

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Equal Housing Opportunity All real estate advertising in this newspaper is subject to the Federal Fair Housing Law which makes it illegal to advertise any preference to, limitation or discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex, handicap, familial status, or national origin, or an intention to make any such preference, limitation or discrimination. This newspaper will not knowingly accept any advertising for our real estate which is in violation of the law. Our readers are hereby informed that all dwellings advertised in this newspaper are available on an equal opportunity basis. To complain on discrimination call HUD free at 1-800-669-9777. The toll free telephone number for the hearing impaired is 1-800-927-9275.

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REPUDIATION OF ALL PAST CONTRACTS As Michael Allen Mckay has breached the covenant of good faith and fair dealing in failing to apprise me, Bonnie Kay Lehnhoff, of defects and deficiencies concerning him personally and with the Bureau of Labor and Industries concerning Ark Chimney Service, I hereby repudiate all past contracts and or agreements entered into between Michael Allen Mckay and myself from August 31, 2013 to February 28, 2015.

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VOLUNTEERS WANTED The Crisis Response Advocate Team at Lutheran Community Services Northwest will begin it’s training on April 14 - May 2. Our advocates provide a 24/7 crisis line, response to hospitals and work with victims of sexual assault and other major crimes. For those interested in fostering a safe environment where victims/survivors call tell their story and be heard without judgment please contact: SUE CANFIELD at 509-343-5062 or email scanfield@lcsnw.org Because of the sensitive nature of the work it’s important that only those who have a strong sense of commitment, responsibility, dedication and willingness to work with a team need apply.

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MARCH 26, 2015 INLANDER 53

ABOVE: Inlander Publisher Ted S. McGregor Jr. and General Manager Jer McGregor at last week’s Best Of party hosted at the Spokane Arena.

Party People

Celebrating the very Best of the Inland Northwest PHOTOS BY YOUNG KWAK AND JOE KONEK

ometimes, you just need to stop and recognize all the wonderful things around you — that, in essence, is the spirit behind the Inlander’s annual readers poll spotlighting the best the region has to offer. Last Thursday, we celebrated all the winners and welcomed four new inductees into our Best Of Hall of Fame (as winners of a first-place award in 10 different years): STCU, Mt. Spokane, Thai Bamboo and the host of last week’s rockin’ party, the Spokane Arena. The party also featured Best Beer (No-Li), Best Cider (Liberty Ciderworks), Best Wine (Arbor Crest) and Best Coffee (Thomas Hammer). Find more photos from the celebration at Inlander.com and on our Facebook page. Thanks again for all our readers who take very seriously the responsibility of naming the best every year! 

54 INLANDER MARCH 26, 2015

MARCH 26, 2015 INLANDER 55

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