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EDITOR’S NOTE

Suzette Alfonso

M

uch has been made of the healing properties of LAUGHTER. There’s Victor Hugo: “Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.” (A nice thought during the dark days of February.) There’s the poetry of Maya Angelou: “When old folks laugh, they consider the promise / of dear painless death, and generously / forgive life for happening / to them.” Or perhaps you prefer Mark Twain: “The human race has only one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.” This week, we present to you our Humor Issue (beginning on page 20), featuring a few jokes, a story about a forthcoming comedy club and an essay about the times when, much to our disappointment, no one actually laughs.

Also this week: Read about Spokane City Council President Ben Stuckart’s vision for the soon-to-be-vacated MACY’S building (page 18) and, in Comment, consider Paul Dillon’s take on the public BATHROOM debate gripping Olympia (page 8).

— JACOB H. FRIES, editor

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COMMENT | ELECTION 2016

Are The Parties Over?

Donald Trump and Bernie Sanders are rewriting the rules of politics

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6 INLANDER FEBRUARY 4, 2016

BY TED S. McGREGOR JR.

D

uring their wall-to-wall coverage of the days leading up to the Iowa caucuses, the media often came face to face with their own mistaken predictions and blanket generalizations. After all, only a few months earlier they had, as a class, nearly laughed themselves silly at the idea that Donald Trump might win the Republican nomination. And then there was MSNBC’s Chuck Todd interviewing some “regular” Iowans; at the end of the segment, he asked one middle-aged white guy who he’d vote for if his favorite, Trump, didn’t make the final cut.

He’d probably have to go with Bernie Sanders, the Iowan said. They went to commercial just when it was getting really weird.

While Sanders and Trump each came in second in Iowa Monday night, they had solid showings. For not trying too hard in a state known to favor evangelical candidates, Trump did very well. And in facing a candidate who has been running for president for more than a decade, Sanders’ “virtual tie” was a victory.

Sanders and Trump are about as far apart as two men can be; how could that Iowa voter have them as his top two? Odd, yes, but it makes sense. We’ve been conditioned to think about politics in terms of the split between political parties, the split between urban and rural America and the split between red and blue states. But is it really more of a class thing?

Trump and Sanders are appealing to the angry middle — the people who worry more about their stagnant wages than which party a candidate belongs to. Sanders and Trump are also, functionally, independents — Sanders literally so, as he only caucuses with Senate Democrats. While Trump may be able to pull out a Bible verse when the crowd demands it, let’s be real — philosophically, he’s an independent.

And that’s a great place to be, as last year 43 percent of Americans claimed to belong to neither party, according to Gallup — the highest since they’ve been tracking it.

Whether a billionaire will turn out to be a traitor to his class like the Roosevelts, or if a selfdescribed Democratic socialist can really move a capitalist nation, we don’t know yet.

S

o America may nominate a rude billionaire demagogue and a disheveled hippie idealist to duke it out. That would be the most remarkable match in our history — settling in the starkest terms the struggle between labor (Sanders) and capital (Trump; sorry, I don’t buy his sticking-up-for-the-little-guy act). It’s a battle that’s been waged since America first rose from its rural roots.

The other remarkable thing is how little the political parties have been a part of getting to here. The Democrats are struggling under the hangover of eight years in the White House.

Few are very excited about Hillary Clinton, which isn’t really fair, as she might be the most experienced presidential candidate ever. Meanwhile, the two leading Republicans — Trump and Ted Cruz — are despised by party honchos.

A popular analysis is that Trump and Cruz would kill the Republican brand, but really, the GOP has been doing just fine by itself. Maybe it started when Speaker Newt Gingrich took power from members of Congress for himself.

Later party leaders gleefully created super PACs, but are horrified now that they have run amok.

They handed over the agenda-setting function to entertainers on FOX News. They’ve shut down the government out of spite, triggering a cut in the nation’s credit rating, and nominated Sarah Palin to the second-highest office in the land.

Today, the Tea Party-powered Freedom Caucus is calling the shots in Congress, deposing Speaker John Boehner and handpicking his successor.

Meanwhile, the list of policy accomplishments is blank. You can see why Americans are turning away from political parties.

In E.J. Dionne’s new book, Why the Right Went Wrong, he tracks the history of the Republican Party from the Goldwater campaign on. It’s a trail that wanders further and further from moderation, where the majority of Americans live. Bill Clinton and Barack Obama pushed the trend by co-opting some the GOP’s best reforms, from welfare to health care. Republicans haven’t come close to winning a national election since George W. Bush rode off into the sunset.

A

re we too fragmented a society to live under any kind of big tent? Even in the Iowa results, you can see the parties’ grip slipping. Still, they may yet prevail with a Hillary Clinton-Marco Rubio matchup. But if party crashers Trump, Cruz or Sanders are nominated, that could mark the end of political parties as we have known them. Maybe we should cheer Sanders and Trump for puncturing the balloon full of all that hot air, allowing the blossoming of a more representative political future.

But what would replace them? New microparties of all varieties, representing all of America’s tribes? Ultra-rich independents like Trump and former New York mayor Michael Bloomberg calling the shots? The very notion of unity and progress is at stake, and while parties have their problems, we may rue the day that politics became a complete free-for-all.

In these coming months, we’re settling on a future leader. But we’re also holding a referendum on traditional American politics. n

COMMENT | TRAIL MIX

A Healthier Way to Clean Carpets

The Music of Money CASH CAN’T BUY LOVE

BERNIE SANDERS’ near-tie with the supposedly inevitable HILLARY CLINTON proved one thing in the Iowa caucuses: Sanders’ message — against the influence of big money and special interests on politics — has resonated with the American people.

Yet, ironically, Sanders’ victory highlights just how little impact big money and special interests have had on this election so far.

United citizens, it turns out, are just as influential as Citizens United.

Conservative TED CRUZ reigned victorious, despite refusing to pander to the ethanol industry, Iowa’s allegedly powerful special interest. Even billionaire DONALD TRUMP has shown how sparking outraged media coverage can be far more effective at dominating the conversation than flooding the airwaves with campaign ads. His second-place finish came despite having little organization in Iowa.

And consider the case of poor JEB BUSH: Beloved by donors, but scorned by voters. Bush and his super PACs poured reams of money into Iowa, only to find that his negative campaign ads didn’t halt the surge of rival MARCO RUBIO. The cost of Bush’s dismal sixth-place performance? About $2,884 per vote. (DANIEL WALTERS)

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O’MALLEY’S SWAN SONG

At least MARTIN O’MALLEY went down singing. The former Maryland governor announced Monday he was dropping out of the presidential race after earning less than 1 percent of the vote in the Iowa caucuses, meaning potential voters will no longer be serenaded

by O’Malley and his acoustic guitar.

People who showed up to O’Malley’s campaign events often were treated to his renditions of Woody Guthrie’s “This Land Is Your Land,” or Passenger’s “Scare Away the Dark.” In Iowa, he would perform Greg Brown’s “The Iowa Waltz” after speeches, because he knows how to play to a crowd. Though his presidential bid may be over, there’s no indication he’s done playing music. He is the frontman of Celtic rock band O’Malley’s March, which has been performing and releasing albums for years.

Videos of their performances can be found on YouTube, including a version of Green Day’s “Good Riddance (Time of Your Life.)” Many thought that O’Malley dropping out of the race was predictable, but — borrowing from the Green Day song — “in the end is right.” (WILSON CRISCIONE)

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COMMENT | OLYMPIA

Bathroom Bigotry

CALEB WALSH ILLUSTRATION

Ignorance, fearmongering, unfounded paranoia and transphobia take hold at the Capitol

BY PAUL DILLON

W

ith all the pressing issues that face our state — education funding, mental health services, unemployment — sadly, one of the biggest battlefields in this Washington state legislative session has been public bathrooms. Rules around bathroom access have historically been used to enforce boundaries of discrimination under the pretense of safety, situations addressed by the Civil Rights Act and Americans with Disabilities Act, but all it took to set us back, opening up a new front of transgendered bathroom bigotry and lies, was clarifying a 10-year-old nondiscrimination law.

Six bills have been introduced this session to repeal a rule enacted by the Washington State Human Rights Commission last December — a rule that required public buildings to allow transgender individuals to use the

restrooms and locker rooms of the gender they identify with. On the books since 2006, transgender people across the state were already using these facilities consistent with their gender identity; however, some lawmakers were caught off guard and cried government overreach.

At a packed hearing on a repeal bill, Sen. Michael Baumgartner, R-Spokane, chaired the committee, falsely assuring those in attendance that anyone who interpreted the policy as “some kind of judgment or castigation of the transgender community” would be wrong. Baumgartner argued against the rule on the basis that unquestioned access to facilities is a way to carry out sexual assaults.

He then made the threat of a statewide initiative in his closing remarks before moving the bill out of committee, one step closer to a vote.

The suggestion that sexual deviants are waiting to sneak up on unsuspecting women and children in bathrooms and lockers is fearmongering cloaked in transpho-

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bia. The Spokane Valley City Council — made up of seven old white men, who mostly live in the same part of the city of 90,000 — quickly endorsed the proposal. “Different things happen in a women’s restroom compared to men’s. They just do,” Councilman Arne Woodard says, playing the public safety card.

These concerns are completely unfounded. There are no documented cases of rapists taking advantage of antidiscrimination rules. Not one. On the contrary, the Washington Coalition of Sexual Assault Programs requested that lawmakers uphold the antidiscrimination law, noting that there’s been a zero increase in assaults related to transgender people using facilities since the law went into effect.

Why are legislators looking for a problem that doesn’t exist? They’re scared; their fear is rooted in ignorance. They seek votes at the expense of some of the most vulnerable members of our society. Their beliefs are based in a misunderstanding of the dynamics of sexual assaults, which are mostly committed by someone known to the survivor; in the cases of children who have experienced sexual violence, three out of four knew the perpetrator. (Nor would the antidiscrimination language shield someone from prosecution over illicit activity.)

Opponents reinforce a narrow definition of gender and sexuality, instead of focusing on the real problem: Working to stop men from committing rape and addressing rape culture. In some places in Washington, transphobia has become politically acceptable. Rep. Graham Hunt, a conservative Republican from Orting in Pierce County, wants to go further, dropping a bill with 36 co-sponsors that bans transgendered individuals from bathrooms if such individuals are “preoperative, nonoperative, or otherwise [have] genitalia of a different gender from that for which the facility is segregated.”

“I’ve tried to make this about the genitalia,” Hunt says. “If you don’t have the parts … if you don’t have the plumbing, then you don’t go in.”

Hunt’s oversimplification is ignorant and offensive.

Meanwhile, the stigma is deadly — more than 40 percent of transgender Americans attempt suicide. Nearly 80 percent of people who were openly transgender at K-12 schools reported harassment in school settings, while 35 percent reported being physically assaulted at schools.

Baumgartner is right about one thing. This is about safety — a basic human need we all share. In this case, safety means acceptance and understanding, not punishing innocents over imaginary evils. The bigots are on the wrong side of history. In time, they will lose, but the fight is far from over. n

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COMMENT | FROM READERS

Reactions to the news that former Spokane Police spokeswoman Monique Cotton, who’s been at the center of the Frank Straub/Mayor Condon scandal, has just resigned from her job with the Parks Department:

MARIANNE TORRES: Anyone worried about how insulting it was to Nancy Goodspeed, the woman whose job she bogarted, and was on sick leave, in an attempt to avoid embarrassment for all the things that went beyond her complaint against Straub?

And that would have left Straub in place to harass other women? I thought that was pretty insulting.

Reactions to a blog post about the Spokane Valley City Council’s opposition to a Washington rule that allows transgender people to use facilities consistent with their gender identity:

KATRENA GALLEGOS: Most airports have a “family restroom” which is a single bathroom unit completely private for families, or cross-gender disabled assistance, perfect for private medical issues (like insulin shots, or changing fecal/urine bags, etc). This idea could benefit transgender people as well, while keeping the male/female bathrooms.

Everyone wins.

LETTERS

Send comments to editor@inlander.com.

ERIC ROBISON: And to the citizens.

But how they treated Nancy was pretty low.

MARIAN HENNINGS: I thought Peyton Place was a terrible book and don’t intend to read a remake located in Spokane.

STEVE FAUST: If she thinks having to reapply for the job is insulting, imagine how Nancy Goodspeed must feel. Of all the players in this little potboiler muni-drama, Nancy and the Park Board are the real victims. 

STEVE DUNN: Transgender people have been using whichever bathroom they want for a long time.

NIKKI DOUGLAS: If a transgendered person is living their life as a female, why would they attack other women or children in a public bathroom?

Or if they were male, with the same situation? Have there been cases where this has happened? None that I know of. In fact, cases I hear about are cis-gendered people who are attacking transgender people.

Thank you Spokane, for showing just how conservative and shallowminded you are.

RIANN SWEARINGEN GRIGSBY: It is just a bathroom; we all do the same thing in there. Europeans have a lot of non-gender-specific restrooms and it is not an issue.

ANNA ALLEN: This is the most ridiculous waste of government time ever. Just stop. There are more important things for you to stick your nose into. 

FEBRUARY 4, 2016 INLANDER 11

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T

he atmosphere in the North Idaho Crisis Center building couldn’t be a starker contrast to an emergency room. There’s no anxiety-inducing chaos of crying babies or ringing phones or stressed family members.

Instead, it’s almost silent. If a patient — here they’re called “clients” — walked into the center last Friday morning, she’d find a refuge.

She could sit on the soft green couch under a big painting of a dock and a serene blue lake. She could drink coffee. She could heat up bowls of Quaker Instant Oatmeal or ramen.

She could finish up the log cabin jigsaw puzzle sitting on the table. She could take a shower or brush her teeth. She’d be able to get a diagnostic medical exam, and have someone to talk to about any mental health issues.

And she could sleep. The two shared bedrooms — one for men, one for women — are spartan, little more than a few mattresses on the floor, covered with sheets and quilts.

The one catch? She can only be here for 23 hours and 59 minutes.

No, this isn’t the emergency room. Rather, it’s a place people can come before the crisis turns into emergency, before they’re truly suicidal or truly a danger to others. Since opening on Dec. 9, the center has seen more than 140 visits.

Some are referred here by sheriff’s deputies or hospital staffers, but most check themselves in, looking for sanctuary amid their battles with depression, anxiety or even homelessness.

Idaho — especially rural Idaho — has had serious deficits regarding mental health care for decades. Idaho has one of the highest suicide rates in the nation, and Kootenai County has one of the highest suicide rates in the state.

So for three years in a row, Gov. Butch Otter has dedicated a portion of his State of the State speech to call for funding for crisis centers like these. This year, he highlighted the success of the first center to open, the Behavioral Health Community Crisis Center of East Idaho.

“During the first nine months that the Idaho Falls center was open, it had more than 1,100 admissions and diverted 47 people from more expensive inpatient psychiatric care — all while saving an estimated 860 hours of law enforcement officers’ time,” Otter said. “I expect to see similar results from the northern Idaho crisis center.”

Over the next two years, the North Idaho Crisis Center not only has to prove it’s effective, it has to become financially self-sufficient. Yet, while it’s only been open for little more than a month, the center has already begun to strengthen the region’s mental health care system, while shedding light on existing problems.

MISSING PIECES

MENTAL HEALTH

An Eye for Every Storm After initially losing out to Idaho Falls, Coeur d’Alene finally gets its crisis center; now the city has to prove that it works

BY DANIEL WALTERS Don Robinson retired from the FBI to run the North Idaho Crisis Center, a sanctuary providing mental health assessments and guidance to those in need. YOUNG KWAK PHOTO

For 21 years, Don Robinson had been an FBI crisis hostage negotiator in San Diego. “I spent most of my weekends on top of the Coronado Bay bridge, doing suicide intervention,” he says.

Managing the North Idaho Crisis Center, in other words, isn’t such a radical career switch. This job also is about helping people who are on the edge, before the crisis gets dangerous.

“We’re seeing folks who maybe haven’t slept in two or three days,” Robinson says. “I can get them here, get them some rest, get them some food. And after sleeping for [a few] hours, they´re in a better spot for talking about tomorrow.¨ This center was hard-won, funded in last year’s budget despite some deep skepticism from some of North Idaho’s conservative legislators. In 2014 and 2015, Reps. Ron Mendive, Kathy Sims and Vito Barbieri all opposed bills that included funding for the center.

As a result — as a political response to local opposition — the state gave the first crisis center to Idaho Falls, despite North Idaho narrowly edging out other regions in the state’s own scoring metric for a crisis center. Part of the legislators’ skepticism stemmed from the 24-hour limit: With mental health so complicated, Mendive wondered, what good could be done in only a day? ...continued on next page

FEBRUARY 4, 2016 INLANDER 13

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Robinson agrees that mental illness can’t be fixed in a single day. That’s why perhaps the most crucial role of the center’s staff is that of guides, mapping out where the clients should go after their 24 hours are up.

Before, says Mike Baker, CEO of Heritage Health, a health care provider for people without insurance, patients would often be discharged from the emergency room, for example, and have no idea where to go next.

“Now, the case managers of the crisis center are calling the [Heritage Health] clinic and scheduling appointments to get [their clients] into treatment,” Baker says.

The center pulls together other agencies, including health care providers, law enforcement, Idaho Department of Health and Welfare’s crisis teams, and homeless shelters like the Union Gospel Mission, to assist with drawing up plans for their clients.

“We start aftercare planning the minute they hit the door,” Robinson says. “What are we going to do with them tomorrow after we stabilize them?”

In asking this question, they’ve begun to discover the pieces that are missing from the mental health-care puzzle.

“One we’re seeing right away is emergency short-term transitional housing,” Robinson says.

“Where is it?”

The January rain pours down on the asphalt outside.

“This is the worst thing for me,” Robin-

son says. “The weather is just crappy enough for someone not to be good out on their own outside, but it’s warm enough that the warming shelters aren’t open.”

Many of the people who’ve shown up to the crisis center have been homeless. The center isn’t intended to act as a homeless shelter, but its staff is happy to assess any mental and physical health-care issues.

“We just encountered several folks who have reached that point of desperation because of their depression or the loss of a loved one,” says T.J. Byrne, director of Heritage Health’s homeless outreach program. “We’ve had folks who were so desperate, or they were lonely, or they were sleeping in their car. Something had triggered — and they went to the crisis center and would get to where they need.”

WHAT DOESN’T HAPPEN

The golden pen and clock sitting on Kootenai County Sheriff Ben Wolfinger’s desk shows that he’s been with the department for more than three decades. By now, he knows just how big a role mental health plays in crime in North Idaho.

Just the day before, Wolfinger says, sheriff’s deputies visited a man they’d heard was in danger of killing himself.

“He wasn’t really suicidal,” Wolfinger say.

“The guy told the deputies, ‘I’m going through a divorce; I’m really depressed.’”

But now, with the crisis center open, Wolfinger says, the deputies had a place where they

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could direct the man if things got rough. Wolfinger is one of the facility’s biggest champions. He’s encouraged his deputies to tour the facility, and many already have. “They love having an additional resource available,” he says.

Wolfinger says he’s changed the policy so that if someone really needs to go to the crisis center and doesn’t have a ride, one of his deputies will actually give them a ride there.

“We referred about a dozen people there,” Wolfinger says.

“That’s about a dozen people there, where you would have been stuck in that zone between ‘What do you do?’ and nothing.”

The struggle, Wolfinger says, is in how do you measure the savings of something that doesn’t happen? If a stay at a crisis center means that there isn’t an arrest or hospitalization down the road, how do you calculate the money saved?

Robinson says the legislature has given the center $1.5 million a year for the next two years for operations, but then it needs to become self-sustaining.

The results from the crisis center in Idaho Falls are promising.

In their first year of operations,, the center saved the state an estimated $764,000 by helping clients who’d otherwise be racking up expensive emergency room bills, according to Idaho Department of Health and Welfare administrator Ross Edmunds.

Republican Rep. Kathy Sims of Coeur d’Alene remains skeptical. She wants to see detailed data from both active centers, clearly laid out with with the same metrics, so the costs and benefits can be accurately assessed.

For Baker, of Heritage Health, the crisis center’s power goes far beyond dollars saved.

“The longer it’s open, the more we see this is the right way to treat people in crisis,” Baker says. “It’s putting the humanity back in the process. It’s awesome.”  danielw@inlander.com

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FEBRUARY 4, 2016 INLANDER 15

NEWS | DIGEST

PHOTO EYE THROWING STRIKES

YOUNG KWAK PHOTO

Five-year-old Ian participates in a fundraiser for Camp No Limits at Hugo’s on the Hill on Saturday. The bowling events help raise money to send local kids who have lost limbs to summer camp.

On Inlander.com MORE INLANDER NEWS EVERY DAY

28 SECONDS OF PANIC The question facing the Spokane Ethics Commission regarding whether Mayor David Condon was unethically DISHONEST at a Sept. 22 press conference may come down to 28 seconds.

That includes the moment when an Inlander reporter got a flat “no” after asking Condon, “Were there any sexual harassment complaints lodged against [former police chief Frank Straub?]” On the blog, we unpack the major arguments made by Condon’s critics and his defense attorney over this exchange, ask whether Condon knew the maiden name of the woman who had accused Straub of sexual harassment and break down dueling definitions of “complaints” and “dishonesty.”

(DANIEL WALTERS)

16 INLANDER FEBRUARY 4, 2016

BATHROOM RULES Members of Spokane Valley City Council want people to know they oppose a state rule that allows TRANSGENDER people to use public bathrooms consistent with their gender identity. Five out of seven council members signed a letter last week, urging state lawmakers to repeal the rule, which was created in December by Washington’s Human Rights Commission.

Arne Woodard, Spokane Valley deputy mayor, reasoned that “different things happen in a women’s bathroom” before signing the letter, while others called it a public safety issue. The letter was sent to a state Senate committee chaired by Michael Baumgartner, R-Spokane.

A resolution asking the state to repeal the rule was up for approval by the council this week.

(WILSON CRISCIONE)

NEWS | BRIEFS

‘Evil Intent’ Monique Cotton resigns from Spokane’s parks division; plus, Washington state lawmakers take up the issue of police violence COTTON RESIGNS

While raising concerns about sexual harassment from SPOKANE POLICE Chief Frank Straub last April, former police department spokeswoman Monique Cotton asked the mayor for two big things: Confidentiality regarding her allegations, and a new job away from Straub.

She was promised both. She ended up with neither.

In November, records requests revealed Cotton’s allegations and the city’s role in covering them up to the public. Now, after less than a year in her new role as the Parks and Recreation division’s marketing and communication manager, Cotton has announced her resignation.

In particular, Cotton’s attorney, Bob Dunn, lays the blame at the feet of the Spokane Park Board, arguing that Cotton was the victim of internal battles between the board and the city administration.

“She wanted to be employed by the city,” says Dunn.

“And she was, until the Park Board got their britches in a twist and decided they wanted to make her an example.”

Cotton’s placement in the parks division had irritated

some board members, who were concerned that the city was abusing its expanded power over hiring and firing in the parks division. Dunn says that Cotton felt the brunt of the board members’ skepticism, citing negative interactions during meetings and the reduction in her public outreach budget.

As early as October — before the sexual harassment allegations were made public — Park Board members had urged a public hiring process for Cotton’s position.

Dunn argues that by requiring Cotton to reapply for her job, there was a “breach of the agreement by the mayor and [City Administrator Theresa Sanders] saying she would have a position away from the police department.”

He suggests that because of Cotton’s talent and experience, she should have been a shoo-in, instead of having to compete with other applicants.

“She was being retaliated against for being a whistleblower,” Dunn argues. “This is a toxic environment for women working for the city in Spokane.”

So far, Cotton has refrained from filing a lawsuit against the city, unlike Straub or Nancy Goodspeed, the parks division spokesman Cotton effectively replaced.

Dunn suggests that reticence may change now.

“She should have filed a claim a year ago,” he says.

(DANIEL WALTERS)

MALICIOUS MINDSET

Washington state law protects law enforcement officers from facing criminal charges for killing someone in the line of duty as long as they didn’t do so maliciously and acted in “good faith.”

A bill sponsored by 12 Democrats in the House of Representatives would remove that legal definition

known as “EVIL INTENT” and aims to clarify when the use of force is justifiable and when it is not.

In September, the Seattle Times called Washington state’s definition “the nation’s most restrictive law on holding officers accountable for the unjustified use of deadly force.” According to the report, only one officer has been criminally charged in state courts in the three decades since the law was enacted in 1986.

Spokane County Sheriff Ozzie Knezovich says the law provides officers with a necessary protection.

“I don’t know how else you’d be able to really do the job,” Knezovich says. “Put yourself in the position of a police officer who has to make a decision, knowing, ‘I can do this 100 percent correct, and depending on the political climate, I can still be charged for it.’ Most crimes in the state of Washington require some kind of mental state to be proven.”

The ACLU of Washington has come out in support of changing the law it says prevents prosecutors from filing criminal charges against officers.

“To bring greater accountability to police statewide, the most important action our legislature should take is a change to state law on use of force,” executive director Kathleen Taylor says by email. “Malice should not be the standard for filing charges in police killings, as it ensures that charges will almost never be brought against an officer for killing a civilian.”

The bill, which stems from draft legislation prepared by the Black Alliance of Thurston County, is in the House Public Safety Committee.

It may struggle to attract votes in Democraticcontrolled House, with some representatives from rural, conservative districts — not to mention the Republicancontrolled Senate. (MITCH RYALS)

FEBRUARY 4, 2016 INLANDER 17

NEWS | DEVELOPMENT

The Macy’s Plan Council President Ben Stuckart doesn’t just want to sit back and let the market decide what happens to the Macy’s building

BY DANIEL WALTERS

L

ike plenty of people in Spokane, Ben Stuckart has a shopping list for what he’d like to see in the 11-story downtown Macy’s building after the struggling retailer vacates it.

He’d love to see a downtown grocery store or an urban Target. And — this is the crucial part — he’d love to see the top floors become housing. Standing on the east side of the building, he looks up at the dingy windows on Macy’s upper half, used by the department store for little more than storage.

“Think about it: apartments or condos above retail would be perfect,” Stuckart says. “I’d like young professionals in our community to have somewhere to live downtown.” Nothing too cheap or too expensive — something priced in the just-right middle.

As council president, Stuckart can actually do something about making that vision happen. Last week, he says, he met with the mayor to begin initial discussions over the role city government should play in Macy’s and similar properties.

For city leaders, the vacancy of a big company like Macy’s is an opportunity and a conundrum: Do they sit back and let the invisible hand of the market pick the building’s new tenants, and hope the result is what’s best for the city? Or do they get aggressive, dangling incentives to potential buyers in an attempt to guide the market to a desired result?

Either way, it’s a question the city has to answer quickly.

“I know Macy’s is trying to move on this property by March,” Stuckart says. “That gives us incentive to move fast.”

FILLING THE VACUUM

Two decades ago, just the possibility of a major department store leaving downtown was enough to inspire drastic measures. When Nordstrom threatened to leave River Park Square, the city’s fight to save it resulted in a disastrous publicprivate partnership that influenced the fate of three mayoral elections, damaged the city’s bond rating and left the city paying off millions of dollars a year.

It also may have ultimately ushered in the revitalization of downtown.

“I think you could very easily argue it did save downtown,” says Mark Richard, president of the Downtown Spokane Partnership — an

18 INLANDER FEBRUARY 4, 2016

Ben Stuckart YOUNG KWAK PHOTO organization created partly as a result of the fight to save Nordstrom.

This time, as Macy’s vacates its property, it’s not a moment of crisis. The urban core has a huge demand for retail and — especially — downtown housing. It’s an environment where River Park Square recently kicked out Ann Taylor Loft, not because it wasn’t paying its lease, but because the mall spot was in such demand that something more valuable could go in its place.

“It’s not a matter of if. It’s a matter of when,” Richard says about finding Macy’s replacement.

“I don’t think we could have said that back in the ’90s.”

THE STUCKART VISION

With urban development carrying a bigger price tag than suburban sprawl, it’s typical for developers to rely on a stew of different incentives when building something downtown. In that fact, Stuckart sees an opportunity.

Last year, hotel magnate Walt Worthy came asking for $318,000, payment for environmental remediation he said the Condon administration had promised him while developing the Davenport Grand Hotel. The city council publicly cried foul, insisting they’d never agreed to the incentive, and refused to pay it.

Beyond a communication failure, to Stuckart it represents a blown chance to influence the hotel’s development. For example, he says, the city could have pushed for more retail on its ground floor.

“Couldn’t we have, at that point, said, ‘We’ll pay for environmental remediation — which is considered a public good — if you do X, Y, Z?’” Stuckart says. In other words, instead of using restrictive zoning or other regulations to encourage certain developments, use incentives. Carrots, rather than sticks.

Partly as a response to the ongoing debate over Grand Hotel incentives, the city launched its “incentives matrix” last fall. Essentially, it’s a menu of goodies — including multifamily housing tax credits, a historic preservation tax exemption and utility improvements — that developers might be eligible for. Stuckart wants to expand that list of incentives. For certain properties, he suggests adding something a little extra to encourage specific types of development.

In particular, one tool immediately comes to mind: a tax increment financing (TIF) district.

Normally, when a business improves a property, the increase in property taxes means a boost for city coffers. With a TIF, the city estimates how much the development would boost property taxes in the future, borrows against that and invests money in the property for public improvements, like better sidewalks or landscaping.

The best-case scenario: It lures a developer to transform a property that would have remained vacant, like what happened in Kendall Yards, the acres of abandoned railroad land that have turned into a thriving planned development.

In this case, Stuckart says, the TIF could be drawn as small as a single block and come with strings. A developer trying to build “market-rate moderate income-housing” in the Macy’s property would be eligible for the incentive, Stuckart says. A developer aiming to put in million-dollar condos wouldn’t.

A potential developer is the Cowles Company, which owns River Park Square and the Spokesman-Review. River Park Square General Manager Bryn West confirms that Cowles already has contacted Macy’s to discuss the possibility of purchasing the building.

“I would love to see retail on the first two floors and nice apartments on the remaining floors,” West says. “The more housing density you can add, the better your stores are going to do.”

She sees plenty of work that would need to be done to have a thriving retail store in the Macy’s property, including possibly blowing out a floor to raise the cramped ceilings. So yes, she’d be interested in incentives. It just depends on the strings that come with them.

Hibernate with us!

THE HURDLES

In the past, however, Stuckart has struggled to win support for a similar proposal. Four years ago, he suggested using a TIF to boost the prospects of the Ridpath Hotel, a once-thriving property that’s turned into a blighted blotch on the city skyline.

Stuckart and former DSP President Mike Tedesco say they drew up a plan to use a TIF for Ridpath, only to see their proposal dismissed by the mayor, DSP and fellow councilmembers.

The city ended up developing a package of financing incentives for would-be-developer Ron Wells’ apartment proposal, but the Ridpath property remains stuck in a stalemate.

Stuckart again expected to be rebuffed by the administration and was working on his own letter to publicly lay out his proposal for the Macy’s space. Instead, when he met with the mayor last week, he says they found common ground.

“Since my meeting with the mayor went so positive, I didn’t feel like I need to send a letter,” Stuckart says.

In a brief statement, Condon said the top priority of the city is “to create an environment in which businesses can grow and thrive.”

That’s not to say everyone in the city is sold on Stuckart’s plan. Gavin Cooley, the city’s chief financial officer, doubts a TIF makes sense for buildings like Macy’s. TIFs have the greatest impact when used on vast swaths of undeveloped land, where any new development can send property values soaring.

“That single project is not going to lift up the tax values in an area that is very dense already,” Cooley says.

Stuckart recognizes that philosophical distance remains between himself and the Condon administration. Scott Simmons, currently the director of the Business and Developer Services division, echoes Stuckart’s desire for more downtown housing and retail. But he stresses responding to the market — working alongside developers to give them what they need — rather than using governmental power to change the market.

“We have a fundamental belief that the market is smarter than us,” says Simmons. “I don’t see us taking a lead role, in saying ‘Here’s what we want to see, here’s what should go in there.’ Again, we’re not developers, we’re not retailers, we’re not property managers, we’re not brokers.”

But Stuckart points to the ugliness on North Division as an example of the weaknesses of a more hands-off approach.

“The city should not ever be passive,” Stuckart says. “I’d argue you get the city you design and the city you are actively involved in.” 

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FEBRUARY 4, 2016 INLANDER 19

THIS IS OUR FIRST CRACK AT A HUMOR ISSUE.

WE

WANTED TO FOCUS ON OUR LOCAL SCENE, BUT ALSO TRY TO MAKE YOU LAUGH, BECAUSE, WELL, WE THINK WE’RE FUNNY.

WHILE THE AREA IS FULL OF HILARIOUS PEOPLE

—

INCLUDING IMPROV ACTORS AT THE

BLUE DOOR THEATRE

AND HUMOROUS WRITERS

— FOR THIS PARTICULAR EDITION, WE CHOSE TO HONE IN ON STAND-UP.

WITH A

BRAND-NEW COMEDY CLUB OPENING DOWNTOWN IN

MARCH, SPOKANE’S STAND-UP COMEDY SCENE IS POISED TO GROW EVEN BIGGER.

IN THE FOLLOWING PAGES YOU’LL READ ABOUT LOCAL COMEDIANS, COMEDY HISTORY, HOW TO WRITE JOKES, A PARTICULARLY INSIGHTFUL ESSAY ON BOMBING AT THE MIC AND A SPECIAL ADVICE COLUMN FROM

DR. LOVEHANDLE,

DDS. IN A WORLD WHERE SO MUCH CONTINUES TO GO TO SHIT, IT’S IMPORTANT THAT HUMOR REMAINS A CONSTANT. — LAURA JOHNSON, SECTION EDITOR

20 INLANDER FEBRUARY 4, 2016

the

a

u L g

h

u o t

loud

More Than Laughs Renee Fandt and her husband, Kevin, at the future site of their comedy club. YOUNG KWAK PHOTO

Can a new downtown comedy club push Spokane’s budding stand-up scene to the next level?

BY LAURA JOHNSON

I

nside this cavernous venue that’s soon to be the Spokane Comedy Club, you can almost hear the cowboy boots scuffling and cheap beers clinking. What was once the Big City Saloon, across from the Amtrak Station on Sprague, is transforming into the funniest spot downtown.

Today, construction workers secure beams and sand down exposed wood.

Black pipes, which will eventually lead to the bathrooms, a concession stand and full bar, stick out from the ground.

There is no heat. Co-owners Renee and Kevin Fandt explain that the brick walls will stay, lending the perfect backdrop for the stage that isn’t yet built. But the skylights and towering front windows will have to be covered.

“We don’t know why, but people laugh more the darker a room is,” Kevin says. “They somehow feel more comfortable.”

The venue’s four owners already have a comfortable setup at the Tacoma Comedy Club, but with ties to Spokane, they’re opening this second venue at a comparable near-300 capacity.

Spokane isn’t new to stand-up, but over the past couple of years, an interest in comedy has grown locally. Open mic nights and comedy events have multiplied around town, while big-name touring comedians consistently sell out local concert venues. Now with the help of a full-time comedy club, its owners hope that area residents’ penchant for stand-up, both local and touring comics, will continue to grow.

The Fandts — who met in Spokane when Kevin was at Fairchild Air Force Base and Renee studied at Eastern Washington University, but moved to the westside two decades ago — weren’t into stand-up comedy. They only attended shows if their son, comic Adam Norwest, performed. Five years ago, after a partner backed out, Norwest convinced his parents to go into the comedy club business with him and wife, Bree.

Now, after watching comedy five nights a week for years, they say they’re obsessed. Business is good in Tacoma, they say. Renee admits it took a while to turn a profit, but about two years ago she quit her cushy Boeing job, and now works the club full time. About a year and a half ago, the Fandts started plans to open another club in their former city.

“We’ve always loved Spokane and have wanted to come back for a while,” Renee says. The Fandts have chosen to divide their time; they’ll live in Spokane two weeks out of the month.

Where many other comedy clubs have failed in Spokane — most recently a venue, also called the Spokane Comedy Club, inside the Tailgater sports bar, closed after its owner was convicted of fraud and embezzlement in 2013 — Spokane Comedy Club’s owners say this venture will be different.

“We’re setting ourselves up as a premier club bringing in national talent,” Renee says.

The comedy club also puts a premium on eliminating market oversaturation. Norwest, the club booker, is picky

about the comedians playing the Tacoma club and has set up an 18-to-20-month rotation. Comedians aren’t selected based on tour schedules; rather, the club brings them in specifically for that show.

Now with two Washington venues, Norwest can sweeten the deal, booking high-profile comics at both places.

The Fandts say they aren’t familiar yet with Spokane comedians, but growing the local talent is also part of their mission. They plan to host open mics on Wednesdays and develop more local programming.

“Locals build this thing,” Renee says.

“We can’t do this without them.”

COME TOGETHER After only a tiny flutter of laughter, Mika Lahman shakes her head.

“That joke went over way better last week,” she says from the Checkerboard Bar’s multi-tiered stage.

Lahman, 30, does comedy full time in Spokane. On Tuesdays, the dryhumored comedian hosts the Checkerboard’s trivia and open mic night.

Otherwise, she’s telling jokes at various open mic nights. Sometimes she’s paid to do local and national showcases. She has aspirations of moving to Atlanta for comedy, maybe writing movie scripts.

For now, she’s refining her craft here.

Those seriously working the open mic circuit, like Lahman, begin with new or recent material on Monday and polish it throughout the week. Even on a Thursday when the hardcore comics do

Uncle D’s Comedy Underground, then make the pilgrimage to Neato Burrito’s open mic, the second set is tweaked. And Lahman’s Holocaust joke, which didn’t kill at the Checkerboard, gets more laughs as the week progresses.

She says interest in the comedy scene has grown since she started doing comedy three years ago, and that audiences are now made up of people besides other comics. Lahman is also part of the local SpoKomedy group, started by comedians Harry J. Riley and Nicky J. Cavasier in 2014 to help stand-up performers find community and bring more comedy events to the area. At one point last year, there was an open mic nearly every night of the week. Still, Lahman says a full-time club could help the stand-up scene.

“I think that a club that brings in big names is more beneficial for our scene, because people will take local comics more seriously,” Lahman says. “Also, we lack people to look up to. There’s no class to go to. We’re mostly at the same level. But to have someone to meet and talk to about comedy, that could change everything.”

Not that stand-up is new to Spokane.

THE DON Don “The Hit Man” Parkins, aka Uncle D, wants to retire from the comedy business. But sitting in his office, full of Marilyn Monroe and Scarface posters, the 64-year-old hypnotist and comedian ...continued on next page

FEBRUARY 4, 2016 INLANDER 21

the Humor Issue Local scene “MORE THAN LAUGHS,” CONTINUED... says that won’t happen soon. His North Spokane club, upstairs in the now-defunct Bluz at the Bend facility (the building is for sale), runs three nights a week from September through April, and has brought in touring acts and started careers for professional comedians like Dan Cummins for a decade.

Among his many duties, Parkins considers himself a mentor.

“These young kids want to be on stage over and over because of that feeling, it’s just as good as sex. Maybe better,” Parkins says. “Once you make people laugh, you never want to stop.”

After 30 years of performing, Parkins says comedy is the purest of art forms, which many in Spokane, including people in the arts scene, don’t fully appreciate. Where other comedy clubs have folded, Parkins says he treats comedy like a business. Another comedy club opening downtown will only strengthen the scene as a whole, he says. The city may start taking stand-up seriously.

OPEN MIC

COMMUNICATION WEEK EVENTS

Free and open to the public

Theatre of Witness:

Dialogues for Stories of a Just Peace in Suffering, Israel-Palestine Transformation, and Peace Featuring:

Teya Sepinuck,

The Spokane Comedy Club’s upcoming lineup includes Sarah Colonna, Jamie Kennedy, Tom Segura, Craig Robinson, Adam Ferrara and Spokane’s own Dan Cummins. Find out more at spokanecomedyclub.com

Featuring:

Visiting Scholar,

Founder and director of Theatre of Witness

Dr. Robert Hoste er

February 9 7:00 pm

February 11 7:00 pm

Wolff Auditorium in Jepson Center

Tonight, before open mic night at Uncle D’s, a father and son are arguing. Jay Wendell Walker hates when you call him a comedy legend. Legends are dead, he says. His kidneys, heart and knees have all given out over the past decade. He needs another surgery soon, but at 73, he’s still kicking, albeit with a cane.

“The reason he’s a legend,” Walker’s son, comedian Adam Lee, interrupts from across the table, “is because everywhere I perform, someone knows him or worked with him or saw him.”

Lee says people treat him differently when they know his dad.

“All right, but you’re alone on stage,” says Walker, winner of the 2006 San Francisco International Comedy Competition and a semifinalist on America’s Got Talent in 2008. “That’s all you. I didn’t get you there.”

Lee and Walker work around the country, sometimes together; they try not to perform in Spokane too much. Later tonight, both comics take the stage. Lee commands the room with sheer force while Walker plays the grumpy old man. He drops his cane and Parkins comes to pick it up.

“Be careful, I know what you want to do with that,” Walker riffs.

As other local comedians take their turn at the mic throughout the night, Walker comments.

“She had original things to say,” he says of Lahman.

Walker has watched many comedy clubs come and go in the Inland Northwest. He’s played the Tacoma Comedy Club before, but he says that Spokane is different. People here haven’t always supported comedy, he says.

“I hope that it works here,” Walker says. “I want it to work.” 

Wolff Auditorium in Jepson Center

: A PAIR OF TICKETS TO

REEL ROMANCE COMEDY NIGHT Feb. 13th

gonzaga.edu/CommunicationWeek 22 INLANDER FEBRUARY 4, 2016

ENTER HERE: INLANDER.COM/SPOKANE/FREESTUFF

Even the best sometimes bomb. JOSH QUICK ILLUSTRATION

What If I’ m Not Funny?

The utter terror of getting on a stage and having no one laugh

BY MIKE BOOKEY

T

he first instinct is to dig a hole and, once safely inside, ask someone to bury you. Or maybe run. You remember an emergency exit and figure that you could be through the door and in your car in maybe five minutes. A couple of hours later you could put a state between you and what just happened on

that stage. Maybe you’ll grow a mustache and start life over somewhere.

You can’t do that, though, because there’s a spotlight on you that’s making it impossible to see what you’re guessing is a sea of blank or puzzled faces. Or maybe someone videoing you. Oh God, please don’t let anyone be taping this because

your stand-up set has just bombed, and will likely continue to bomb through however many terrifying minutes are left in your set.

I’ve been there. I was hosting a standup showcase in Oregon. As I recall, about eight people showed up, so they began letting anyone in the bar back to the stage

area for free. I was opening the show with what was, in retrospect, a terrible routine in which I read an email chain supposedly between my boss and myself.

No one laughed, but the joke kept going.

“You suck!” someone yelled from the bar at the back of the room. Then people finally laughed. I was still up there, though, and terrified. I couldn’t remember the rest of the bit at all. I introduced the next comic and bounded off the stage, as that comic spent a couple of minutes destroying me, as he should have.

Walking down the street after the show, a young woman told me, “You were actually kind of funny.”

Maybe it was the pity or the “actually,” but that made me feel worse about everything. I didn’t get on a stage for more than a year after that, and missed some opportunities for spots on really fun shows because of my certainty that whatever set I delivered might bomb again and I would probably die. I didn’t care at the time what I was passing up. I couldn’t take that risk.

Now, though, I’m oddly proud of that night. I still cringe, but, shit, I’m still alive. And just so you know, if you’re reading this, you will probably bomb too if you do stand-up. I don’t know you, and I’m sure you’re very funny, but getting up in front of a room with nothing but your sloppy old self in the hopes of making people laugh is really f---ing hard, and I’m just going with statistics.

Even some of the greatest comics bomb, as they discussed on an excellent but short-lived Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon YouTube series.

Jerry Seinfeld once did a set in a disco… while the disco music was still playing. And Hannibal Burress had a lesbian grab his balls. Amy Schumer bombed in Central Park. “There’s nothing louder than the sound of 5,000 people not laughing at you,” she recalled. Patton Oswalt is one of the funniest people alive, but he’s bombed plenty. And he believes that bombing is necessary.

“Let yourself be completely defeated at least once,” he says. “Something interesting will happen. You’ll wake up the next day and the world doesn’t end, and then you’ll become fearless.” 

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FEBRUARY 4, 2016 INLANDER 23

the Humor Issue advice

Remember, there’s no shame in using the Internet to meet people. If the Craigslist Killer could do it, so can you. JOSH QUICK ILLUSTRATION

The Best Romantic Tips from Dr. . Lovehandle, DDS With Valentine’s Day approaching, our resident romantic advice columnist explains everything you need to know about relationships COMPILED BY DANIEL WALTERS

T

hink of him as a cardiothoracic surgeon — but for the human heart.

Dr. Lovehandle, DDS, draws from the vast personal experience of his two brief romantic relationships — three if you count the time a girl in high school pretended to date him as a prank on her mom — to help you handle all your love problems.

Author of such love advice books as Renovating Your Love Shack with the Granite Countertops of Communication and No, That’s Not Normal, That’s Weird and Gross, the widely acclaimed wisdom of Dr. Lovehandle runs weekly in the Inlander next to our Horoscopes Corrections column.

With Feb. 14 looming, we’ve gathered the best of Dr. Lovehandle’s love-handling advice to make this holiday truly worthy of honoring St. Valentine’s execution by the Romans.

1. If you’ve been recently hurt, learn to love yourself before dating again.

When you’re ready, break it off with yourself, apologize for using yourself as a rebound and explain to yourself that,

24 INLANDER FEBRUARY 4, 2016

while you had fun, you’d prefer to be dating someone less self-absorbed.

2. Looks aren’t everything. Surveys show that men and women put just as much value on appearance, physical attractiveness, handsomeness, beauty, prettiness, hotness, and whether your abs have a great personality.

3. Is it a date, or are you just hanging out? It’s tricky, but generally, if at the end of the evening he kisses you and the priest says, “I now pronounce you husband and wife,” it’s probably a date.

4. Remember, there’s no shame in using the Internet to meet people. If the Craigslist Killer could do it, so can you.

5. Be careful, however. Not everyone is who they appear to be online. Before agreeing to meet in real life, ask “Are you actually a computer forensics expert hired by a newspaper as part of an in-depth journalistic investigation to pose as a young gay man in order to seduce me, then expose my tangled double life and hypocritical morality in an explosive exposé that sparks a recall to drive me from

office and forever tarnish my name?”

6. Honesty is important, but you don’t want to reveal too much, too fast.

Wait until at least the third date before telling her that you’re Spider-Man. 7. Hold all arguments in front of a pre-agreed-upon panel of three neutral parties, to judge who’s right and who’s winning the relationship.

8. Sometimes “playing pretend” can be a great way to spice up your sex life.

Sure, you may find it silly, but, for just one night, make believe you find him physically attractive.

9. Positive affirmation is important.

Leave little lovey-dovey notes around the house that say things like “remember to fix the faucet” and “don’t eat this cake! — it’s for Annette’s baby shower Friday.”

10. Don’t worry if your significant other’s parents aren’t initially fond of you.

Take them aside and gently assure them that you’re only a placeholder until he/she meets someone more attractive and of a higher social standing.

11. Consent is crucial. Make sure to

ask any of your subordinates, “May I grab your ass and try to kiss you?” before grabbing their respective asses and trying to kiss them.

12. Don’t be afraid to get naughty!

While dining at an upscale restaurant, return from the restroom and sidle up beside him, slipping a pair of your socks into his hands, letting him know that, under your shoes, your feet are completely bare.

13. Don’t stress. No marriage is perfect, except for Kanye West and Kim Kardashian’s, because they are in love on a level mere mortals will never understand.

14. And if all else fails, never underestimate the power of a romantic gesture.

There’s nothing like standing outside her bedroom window, and with Peter Gabriel blasting on the boombox and rose petals scattered at your feet, setting the court’s restraining order ablaze.  doctorlovehandle@gmail.com

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the Humor Issue

Reading Funny A crash course in comedy history

BY DAN NAILEN

I

f you’ve heard of a comedian, chances are he or she has published a book; the catalog of comic-penned tomes is a deep one of widely varying quality.

Less vast is the selection of books about comedy and its purveyors, histories that tell us how the world of the professionally funny has evolved from telling jokes at supper clubs into the modern age. Here are a few great reads that enlighten as well as entertain.

Live from New York: An Uncensored History of Saturday Night Live, as Told By Its Stars, Writers and Guests,

by Tom Shales and James Andrew Miller (2002) Every generation has its favorite era of the longrunning NBC staple Saturday Night Live, and they all love to talk about how the old days were better and how the current cast — no matter what year we’re talking about — is the one that is so unfunny it will kill SNL once and for all. Shales and Miller do a great job outlining how the revolutionary show made it to the airwaves in the first place, and how it’s survived all the critical slings and arrows since, through remarkably sourced interviews that, among many revelations, make one thing abundantly clear — everyone hates Chevy Chase.

We Killed: The Rise of Women in American Comedy,

by Yael Kohen (2012) The strength of this book is not just the sprawling case it makes for how vital women’s contributions have been to comedy for generations — from stand-up to radio to television — but also the oral-history format that allows many of those women to talk about how certain comics inspired their careers. Reading praise for pioneers like Elaine May and Gilda Radner is always a treat.

On The Real Side: The History of African American Comedy, by Mel Watkins (1994) This book was reissued in 1999, and while some aspects are indeed dated, like most things regarding race in America, it’s amazing and frustrating how current many aspects are in reflecting the challenges faced by black comedians. Watkins dives deep, into humor on the slave plantations and minstrel circuit, before featuring more modern faces of black comedy, from Richard Pryor to Eddie Murphy and Chris Rock.

Seriously Funny: The Rebel Comedians of the 1950s and 1960s, by Gerald Nachman (2003) Many of the names might not be immediately familiar, but Nachman’s look at 26 comedians who pushed the envelope at a far more conservative time, blurring the line between comedy and social commentary decades before The Daily Show, makes for great reading.

You get stories of comedians arrested for the content of their jokes (Lenny Bruce) and threatened by presidents (Mort Sahl), as well as deep dives into some the dark personal lives behind funny facades. n

26 INLANDER FEBRUARY 4, 2016

But Seriously...

Stand-up comedian Dan Cummins on continuing to write great jokes

BY LAURA JOHNSON

D

an Cummins drives by Spokane’s Spalding Auto Parts with his kids in the car. The business message board reads: “I’m in shape, round is a shape.”

His kids say, “Dad, that’s you!” and fall into a fit of laughter.

Cummins, 38, tells them he has been working out at the gym and he’s losing weight. That makes them laugh harder — so hard that tears start to form.

This is a ripe-for-stand-up moment, Cummins says, similar to the time he witnessed a woman pee herself in line at Six Flags.

“I want to take something that’s happened in real life that was super funny or uncomfortable and translate it to the stage,” he says.

Cummins, who lives in Santa Monica, California, but plans to move to Coeur d’Alene to be closer to family, is one of the most successful comedians to come out of Spokane. He’s performed on late-night TV

and Comedy Central. Currently, he hosts The Playboy Morning Show, writes TV scripts and tours nationally. But he says it’s stand-up he wants to do forever.

He continues to write great jokes, using a few techniques.

First, he writes as much as possible — about the stuff that recently happened to him and things he’s always wondered about, like dinosaurs — making sure the payoff matches the setup. Then it’s about having patience.

“Even if a joke goes well at first, it takes six months to really make a joke good,” he says. “You have to write and review and edit. I don’t value the opinion of the audience over my own. It can always be better.” n Dan Cummins opens for Brian Regan on Saturday, Feb. 13, at the Northern Quest Resort & Casino and headlines the Spokane Comedy Club July 28-30.

events

Behind the Mic Where to test out your hilarious inner monologue, or hear other folks trying out theirs

Y A D S ’ orthy E w e N I m T a r VALEN should be f SAVE 10% by booking

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COMPILED BY CHEY SCOTT THE FOXHOLE 829 E. Boone Monday night signup starts at 9:30 pm, with performances beginning at 10. No cover; ages 21+.

JONES RADIATOR 120 E. Sprague “Open Mic of Open-ness” invites musicians, poets and comedians to step up to the mic on Tuesday nights, with signup at 7:30 pm and performances at 8. There’s also an improv show by the Ditch Kids every last Tuesday of the month after open mic. No cover; ages 21+.

CHECKERBOARD BAR 1716 E. Sprague Try your hand at weekly bar trivia on Tuesdays at 8 pm, then stick around to watch or sign up for open mic comedy afterward. No cover; ages 21+.

SOULFUL SOUPS & SPIRITS 117 N. Howard This weekly gig is also open to comedy, music, poetry — anything, really; it happens on Wednesdays at 9 pm. No cover; all-ages until 10 pm.

RED DRAGON CHINESE 1406 W. Third The weekly event runs every Friday night at 8. No cover.

UNCLE D’S COMEDY UNDERGROUND 2721 N. Market In addition to hosting seasoned funny folk on Friday and Saturday night, open mic lets anyone test out their best jokes Thursdays at 8 pm.

No cover; ages 21+.

THE GATHERING HOUSE 733 W. Garland This family-friendly event held every other Saturday night at 7:30 is dubbed the “Be Open Mic Night,” and is open to all forms of creative expression, including comedy, music and spoken word. Free; all-ages.

IMPULSE NIGHTCLUB AT NORTHERN QUEST 100 N. Hayford Rd., Airway Heights This monthly live comedy event isn’t open to amateurs; the rotating lineup of local funny folk changes every month. The show is held the

first Thursday of the month at 8 pm, and tickets are $10. Ages 21+ only.

Reserve your seat at pinotspalette.com

Check out other comedy events at Neato Burrito, the Observatory, the Big Dipper, the Jackson St. and the Best Western Plus Coeur d’Alene Inn. Upcoming Touring Comics BRIAN REGAN This continually touring comedian is back, bringing his profanity-free comedy about everyday life to the Northern Quest Resort & Casino’s stage. For his stop on Feb. 13, Regan performs at 5 and 8 pm. Tickets are $45 to $75, and Spokane’s own Dan Cummins opens the show.

RACHEL FEINSTEIN This Last Comic Standing finalist and actress who starred alongside Amy Schumer in Trainwreck brings an all-ladies comedy showcase to the Bing Crosby Theater on March 19.

Tickets are $35.

CHRISTOPHER TITUS The California funnyman from the eponymous Fox show Titus returns to Spokane with his “Born With a Defect” tour. Tickets for this April 7 show at the Knitting Factory are $25 to $35 (a limited number is offered for those between 18 and 20).

JEFF DUNHAM Puppets can be cute, creepy or both. For this ventriloquist comedian, they’re vital to his stand-up act. Dunham has been through the Inland Northwest several times in recent years, this time stopping at the Spokane Arena on April 8 for his Perfectly Unbalanced tour. Tickets are $47.50. 

Studios in Spokane and Coeur d’Alene!

A COMMUNICATION WEEK EVENT The MA in Communication and Leadership Studies progam is pleased to present:

Dialogues for a Just Peace in Israel-Palestine Featuring: Dr. Robert Hoste er

Dr. Hostetter is one of the leading scholars on peace and conflict reconciliation and performance studies. He has been at the heart of peace and reconciliation in Hiroshima, Nicaragua, Palestine and Israel.

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February 11 7:00 pm

Wolff Auditorium in Jepson Center Free and open to the public

gonzaga.edu/CommunicationWeek

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28 INLANDER FEBRUARY 4, 2016

l a u iv s

arts tour

Spreading Out The Visual Arts Tour is no longer just about the center of downtown Spokane

BY MIKE BOOKEY, MEG MACLEAN AND CHEY SCOTT

T

here’s an easy way to do the Visual Arts Tour — February’s supersized First Friday — and that’s to make a few lazy laps around the core of downtown Spokane and then head to dinner. These days, with more venues hosting art on their walls, you

need to venture out. Here’s a look at what’s happening in different pockets this weekend.

All venues are open from 5 to 9 pm on Friday, Feb. 5; some venues are also open on Saturday and Sunday. ...continued on next page

FEBRUARY 4, 2016 INLANDER 29

CULTURE | VISUAL ARTS “SPREADING OUT,” CONTINUED...

DOWNTOWN: WEST

Featuring art in wineries, a special performance by the Spokane Symphony and continued screenings as part of the Spokane International Film Festival.

BARRISTER WINERY 1213 W. Railroad Showcase of artists from the Art Spirit Gallery’s collection (mixed media) For the second month, Coeur d’Alene’s revered Art Spirit Gallery is lending some of its best pieces, spreading the art love from the Lake to the Lilac City. Twenty artists are featured, including notable Northwest artists Harold Balazs, Del Gish, Mel McCuddin, Kay O’Rourke, Morse Clary and Victoria Brace. As it does each month, Barrister hosts the Beacon Hill Bistro Buffet (Fri, 6-8 pm) and live music (Fri, 6:30-10 pm) by the bluesy “Lonesome” Lyle Morse. And you’re in a winery, so you’d be remiss not to sample some of Barrister’s award-winning vintages. If you miss Friday’s reception, art viewing is also offered SatSun, noon to 5 pm.

CHASE GALLERY 808 W. Spokane Falls Blvd.

Group show (painting) The City Hall gallery hosts “World on Fire,” a collaborative show featuring the artwork of Ken Susynski, Veronica Reeves, Fiona Lau, Laura Walton Allen and Lisa Daniels. All five Pacific Northwest painters find their creative voice in abstract expressionism, an art style established more than 70 years ago. This show takes place Friday evening from 5 to 9 pm; if you miss it, the gallery is always open during weekly business hours, Mon-Fri, 8 am to 5 pm.

Mel McCuddin’s work is on display at Barrister Winery.

THE PHILANTHROPY CENTER 1020 W. Riverside Group show (mixed media) This is the first in a five-part series of art shows organized by the American Indian Community Center of Spokane. Featured in the inaugural show is photography by Jeff Ferguson of the Spokane Tribe; mixed media by Stefanie Marchand Reuben of the Colville Tribe; mixed media by Jacob Johns of the Hopi Tribe; and art by Joeseph Arnoux of the Blackfeet Tribe. This show, on Friday from 5 to 9 pm, also features electronic dance music by PandaCat. Also on the west side of downtown (or close enough): Barili Cellars, Kolva-Sullivan Gallery, Kress Gallery at River Park Square, Martin Woldson Theater at the Fox (Spokane Symphony concert), One Source Design Studio, Patit Creek Cellars, Bing Crosby Theater (SpIFF film screening), The Observatory

DOWNTOWN: EAST

There’s a lot to see on the east side of downtown Spokane, whether at the bustling intersection of Main Avenue and Division, or farther east along East Sprague, which has received a cultural shot in the arm as of late.

The Glover Mansion features the work of Gwyn Griffith.

PRESCHOOL - 8TH GRADE | OPEN HOUSE Thursday, February 18th, 5 - 7 PM • Visit teachers and classrooms •

PRESCHOOL CLASSES FOR 2.5 - 5 YEARS KINDERGARTEN: Half or full day K-8 features small class sizes with WA State Certified Teachers 401 E 30th Ave • 509.838.8139 • southsidechristianschool.org

30 INLANDER FEBRUARY 4, 2016

GLOVER MANSION 321 W. Eighth Gwyn Griffith (digital art) For the first time in decades, the elegant, historic mansion on the slope of the South Hill opens its doors for a public art showing. The 128-yearold mansion displays the digital collage artwork of Gwyn Griffith, who recently relocated from Boston to Spokane. Guests can take tours of the mansion and its grounds as live music fills the halls. You can also purchase a drink during this reception, which runs Friday from 5 to 9 pm.

NEW MOON ART GALLERY 1326 E. Sprague Vicky Cavin (painting) and Linda Hall (mixed media) The colors of Vicky Cavin’s pastel pieces, many of which feature people in motion and themes of spiritual connection, are stunning. She also has a deft touch when it comes to wildlife. This recently relocated gallery is also featuring the encaustic mixed-media work of Linda Hall, who uses found images, paint and wax in her dreamlike creations.

OBJECT SPACE 1818½ E. Sprague Bernadette Vielbig (mixed media) Perhaps it’s a little cruel to turn art patrons onto a super-cool and creative Spokane artist just as she packs up and leaves town, but this Fare Thee Well show by mixed-media artist Bernadette Vielbig is worth your time as you head east on Sprague. The show features bronze pieces, paintings, installations and other media from Vielbig’s 12 years working and teaching in Spokane. From 6 to 8 pm on Friday, she’ll be performing her live piece “Dance, Theremin.”

MARKETPLACE WINE BAR 39 W. Pacific Audreana Camm (painting) This Spokane artist first made a name around town by painting to live music; for this show at Marketplace, you can take a look at her other pieces. The acrylic paintings feature typical, everyday objects that Camm has put a whimsical spin on. The 26-year-old from small-town Idaho has been active in the Spokane art scene for a few years now; her work has hung on the walls of a number of galleries and restaurants.

1001 West Sprague Ave. • 509-624-1200

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The Jundt Art Museum at Gonzaga has iconic prints on display.

JUNDT ART MUSEUM 200 E. Desmet Multiple artists (lithographs, screenprints, engravings, etchings, etc.)

In honor of the 20th anniversary of Gonzaga’s Jundt Art Museum, an extensive collection built up over 20 years will be on display until this April. On Friday and Saturday, Jundt curators will lead free tours of the exhibition Fifty Masterworks from the Print Collection of the Jundt Art Museum at 6 and 8 pm. Featuring 50 pieces of work from notable artists including Pablo Picasso, Andy Warhol, Marc Chagall, Rembrandt van Rijn and Francisco Goya, the variety of screen prints, engravings, lithographs, and other media will be on display through April 2.

See Chaplin’s Cinematic Masterpiece with the Spokane Symphony

Saturday, Feb. 6 - 7:30pm Tickets: $15 & $30 Martin Woldson Theater at The Fox sponsored by Members of Corporate Circle

Tchaikovsky Tchaikovsky

& Sibelius

Marie Fleming’s photos can be seen at Avenue West Gallery.

SARANAC ART PROJECTS 25 W. Main All Together Now (mixed media) Collaboration in the arts almost always leads to something worthwhile, and that’s certainly the case with this show that combines artists from Saranac Commons collective with artists whose work was shown at last fall’s Terrain 8. The collaborations range in style, medium and creative process. The teams include Alan Chatham and Chris Dreyer, Bradd Skubinna and Ashley Bowman, Lisa Ralston and Rachel Smith, and Kurt Madison and Kathleen Ryan, among several others. Opening reception runs from 5 to 9 pm.

Also on the east side of downtown: Auntie’s Bookstore, Cello, the Washington Cracker Co. Building, East Sprague Gallery, Liberty Gallery, McCarthy Art Company, Pottery Place Plus, Richmond Art Collective, Robert Karl Cellars, Satellite Diner, The Bartlett

NORTH OF THE RIVER

From photography to Andy Warhol prints and art created by homeless youth, check out these local art exhibitions reflecting all walks of life.

AVENUE WEST GALLERY 907 W. Boone Marie Fleming (photography) Photographer Marie Fleming is new to the area; her varied portfolio, which includes digitally enhanced and altered photos, will be featured alongside her traditional photography pieces.

This exhibit is open both Friday, from 11 am to 9 pm, and Saturday, from 11 am to 5 pm.

with guest conductor Marco Parisotto

Feb. 13, 2016 - 8pm Feb. 14, 2016 - 3pm Saranac Art Projects features a collaboration with Terrain artists.

SPOKANE ART SCHOOL 809 W. Garland Crosswalk Youth (mixed media) From a homeless shelter to a gallery showing, the various expressive artwork of Crosswalk Youth will be featured at the Spokane Art School through the month of February. The Torn Felt — Felt Torn exhibit gives these young artists from different backgrounds and places in the Spokane community a chance to showcase their work, in addition to working through the creative process of making a piece of art. Crosswalk aims with its ArtReach program, in collaboration with Torn Felt, to give a voice to the disadvantaged youth of the community through paintbrushes and pastels.

Also north of the river: Bellwether Brewing Company, Blue Door Theatre, Marmot Art Space, Spark Center, Spokane Handweavers Guild and The Sign Art Studio.  Full Visual Arts Tour listings are at inlander.com/FirstFriday

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FEBRUARY 4, 2016 INLANDER 31

CULTURE | MUSEUM

Treasure Trove

6 1 0 2 E TH

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BY CHEY SCOTT

A

ttendance at the Northwest Museum of Arts and Culture is booming. On a rainy weekday morning, busloads of excited schoolchildren pile into the atrium every quarterhour. In the MAC Café, a group of Red Hat Society women decked out in purple and red are gathered for lunch after perusing the galleries.

A couple of weekends ago, as the recently installed Treasure! exhibit debuted alongside the ongoing LEGO-themed Nature Connects sculpture showcase (its last day, however, is Sunday, Feb. 7), Saturday admissions alone numbered more than 1,300 visitors. MAC staff haven’t seen it this busy since back in 2011, when the massive Leonardo da Vinci exhibit, touring internationally, filled the galleries for just three months. The museum’s switch back to a schedule of quickly rotating exhibits — seven more are planned to debut before year’s end — is already showing signs of success a month into 2016.

Themed around the history of treasure hunting and the technology used by those who seek it, Treasure! focuses on several areas, including sunken or buried loot, natural treasures of the earth like gold and other minerals, and antique or otherwise aged relics intrinsically valued for sentimental or historical significance.

Curated and leased out of Seattle by NRG! Exhibits, Treasure! opened less than two weeks ago; several local components created by MAC staff are gradually being added in the coming weeks.

In a gallery above the museum’s large lowerlevel exhibit hall, staff are setting up a space to house a new semipermanent feature called “The Secret Life of an Artifact” that will continue even after Treasure! wraps up. Visitors can observe how staff preserve and catalogue new additions to the museum’s massive collections, which it oversees as the Eastern Washington State Historical Society, an official trustee of state history. Real work on the museum’s collections is planned to take place here, just as it normally does in the cavernous basement where the MAC’s historical treasures are preserved, says John MuredoBurich, director of museum experience.

This upcoming feature also serves as an acknowledgment of the detailed work completed over the past year by the MAC’s small collections staff, who sorted and catalogued more than 59,000 items, he adds.

Alongside this working lab, visitors can see some of the more unusual or eccentric pieces the museum owns that might not always tie in with

Treasure! features interactive, hands-on exhibits. YOUNG KWAK PHOTO in-house exhibits. A collection of children’s shoes from across the decades, for example, are to be displayed there, along with other rotating samples of local treasures in its care, Moredo-Burich says.

In the same gallery, he adds, visitors can also learn about museums’ never-ending challenge to preserve all types of aging materials, which are in a constant state of chemical degradation due to contact with other materials and the environment around them.

A

s visitors descend the staircase from the sunlit atrium to the basement galleries, a high-pitched beeping is audible over the rumble of cannon fire. Treasure! is a dominantly interactive exhibit, with kid-centric activities that include taking out a (digital) pirate ship with cannons, looting through a sandbox-like area with metal detectors, panning for “gold,” and cracking the vault combination of a bank safe.

Muredo-Burich sees Treasure! as a good fit for the MAC’s all-ages audience because of its varied presentation of information. While there are plenty of hands-on activities to entertain young visitors, traditional display placards explain in detail the artifacts and themes of the exhibit. A highlight of these physical artifacts are pieces of stunning Spanish shipwreck treasures — an 80-pound, pure silver bar, precious metal coins and pure gold jewelry — found off the coast of Florida by salvage diving couple Bob and Margaret Weller. Many of their centuries-old findings are featured throughout.

In an effort to connect the touring exhibit with the local community — as was done for Nature Connects, which invited locals to build and submit LEGO sculptures for display and a contest — Moredo-Burich also invited MAC staff and supporters to loan some of their own personal treasures for display. Gradually being placed in the galleries, these personal collections and sentimental pieces of ephemera include a vintage marble collection, a poster from the Lindbergh baby kidnapping, a French doll and WWII memorabilia.

We all have cherished treasures of our own, and after all, as Moredo-Burich says, “This is the people’s museum.”  Treasure! • Through May 15; museum hours Wed-Sun, 10 am-5 pm • $5-$10 admission; free for members • Northwest Museum of Arts & Culture • 2316 W. First • northwestmuseum. org • 456-3931

CULTURE | DIGEST

PHOTO EYE MODINE-MANIA

FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION

BY DAN NAILEN

TV Slapstick comedy in the vein of The Naked Gun or Sledge Hammer! isn’t for everyone, but if you love nonstop visual gags, double entendres and satirical versions of overly familiar genres, you might want to give TBS’ ANGIE TRIBECA a try. Produced by Steve and Nancy Carell and starring Rashida Jones (The Office, Parks & Recreation) as a vet of the LAPD’s Really Heinous Crimes Unit, the show follows its title character and her new partner Jay Geils as they solve cases involving dead bakers, murdered ventriloquists and the like. Among the cavalcade of guest stars on the show’s first season are James Franco, Lisa Kudrow and Bill Murray. Season 1 is available on demand, and episodes air Mondays at 9 pm.

KRISTEN BLACK PHOTO

A

ctor Matthew Modine came to town to introduce Vision Quest on Friday’s opening night of the Spokane International Film Festival at the packed Fox Theater. After a long day spent doing interviews for seemingly every media outlet in town to promote the event, a fundraiser for INK Art Space, Modine chatted with festivalgoers and posed for selfies before hitting the

stage. He was joined (from left) by local wrestling legend Cash Stone, who coached at Mead High School for 38 years and taught Modine during the film’s production, as well as Vision Quest author Terry Davis, festival director Adam Boyd and author Jess Walter.

— DAN NAILEN

CHARITY VOTE FOR COACH FEW There are a lot of ways to support your favorite team, from buying T-shirts to attending games to yelling at your TV screen. How about a way that could help save a few lives? Gonzaga men’s basketball coach Mark Few is part of the ESPN Coaches Charity Challenge, in which coaches from across the country team up to raise money for cancer-fighting charities in their respective regions. For Few, that means helping out the Community Cancer Fund; visit VoteCoachFew.com and hit the “Vote Now” button.

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ALBUM I’m a newbie to melodic metal band Baroness, and I can’t deny the quartet’s backstory isn’t a big reason I gave their new album a spin.

Back in 2012, the group led by songwriter John Baizley was in a horrible wreck while touring England, a crash that nearly killed everyone on the bus. The psychic scars of that experience are all over PURPLE, Baroness’ new album that arrives with a new rhythm section and fresh approach to its technically precise, slightly psychedelic and emotionally euphoric songs like “Try to Disappear,” “Kerosene” and “Desperation Burns.”

TWITTER Baseball’s spring training is right around the corner, which will no doubt please Dan Epstein, the pop culture-, musicand baseball-obsessed author of Big Hair and Plastic Grass: A Funky Ride Through Baseball and America in the Swinging ‘70s. For a smaller dose of the hardball ephemera that fills that book, check out his Twitter feed, @BIGHAIRPLASGRAS, where Epstein pays tribute to yesteryear’s heroes and their amazing Afros, facial hair and noteworthy efforts in the game. n

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FEBRUARY 4, 2016 INLANDER 33

Second year Inland Northwest Culinary Academy student Jessica Sullivan, (center) with her Loco Moco dish. YOUNG KWAK PHOTOS

Order Up!

Orlando’s offers real-life lessons to culinary students, and a hidden culinary oasis for Spokane diners

BY DAN NAILEN

T

he thin, crispy crust of breadcrumbs on top gave way with a gentle fork thrust to a creamy blend of Virginia sweet corn, cheddar cheese and green chiles underneath. The collard greens and black-eyed peas served alongside were cooked to perfection, and it was all prefaced by an amuse-bouche of bacon, biscuit and honey that was an ideal combination of salty and sweet.

The first visit to any restaurant is a gamble, but between the attentive but unobtrusive service, the whitetablecloth décor and incredible price point — a mere $7.50

34 INLANDER FEBRUARY 4, 2016

for my selection from the week’s “Southern Hospitality” menu — it turns out Orlando’s is a fairly safe bet.

You might not assume that on first approach to the student-run restaurant located in the nondescript “Building 1” on the Spokane Community College campus.

Tucked in a hallway across from the campus Public Safety office, the transition from fluorescent-lit industrial campus vibe to the dimly lit, borderline-chic dining room of Orlando’s is abrupt. Once inside, though, it’s easy to forget the buzzing college life happening outside.

That’s by design, according to Chef Curtis Smith,

department chair of SCC’s Inland Northwest Culinary Academy, or INCA, which has run Orlando’s as a handson aspect of its students’ experience for decades; Curtis was a student of the program in 1988 and ’89, and met his wife there.

“Primarily, it’s to provide students with an opportunity to cook in as close to an industry or real-life situation as possible,” Smith says. “We’re a cooking school first, and a business second, but we try to run that restaurant as close to how it would be run in industry as possible.”

INCA students spend six quarters in the program before graduation. Half of those involve working at Orlando’s, doing everything from waiting tables to prep work to manning the grill as orders come in. And they come in fast; Orlando’s is open for lunch Wednesdays through Fridays during fall, winter and spring quarters, and the restaurant does such a steady business that reservations are the only guarantee of getting a table.

Jason Rumley, a 29-year-old in his final quarter, is currently working at Orlando’s, interacting with customers as a server and host. It’s not his favorite part of his time at INCA — “I prefer the kitchen over the front of the house. I love to cook. I love to butcher meat.” — but he appreciates that the program forces him to learn all aspects of a restaurant. That’s something that will come in handy for his plans to be a chef or restaurant manager

DINING AT THE DAVENPORT GRAND HOTEL.

Curtis Smith, the INCA department chair, hopes to provide a real-life feel that mirrors the restaurant industry. in the future.

Rumley, who worked in food service for 11 years at Gonzaga University, discovered Orlando’s and INCA by happenstance. He was an SCC criminal justice student and would pass the restaurant as he walked down the hallway to his classes. Eventually he decided to step inside and join the INCA program. It’s been a challenge, he says, particularly the baking and pastry part of the curriculum — a retail espresso shop and bakery full of studentmade wares is adjacent to Orlando’s — but he’s confident he’ll be able to find a good job. His friends are already taking advantage of his new culinary skills.

“Since I started in the program, my friends want me to come over for potlucks, for barbecues,” Rumley says. “They want me to cook all the time.”

Alexis Coopersmith, a 20-year-old Spokane native, remembers her dad being in the INCA program when she was in sixth grade. She works at Ferrante’s Marketplace Cafe on the South Hill doing “a little bit of everything,” but has an entrepreneurial streak to go along with her cooking interests.

“Eventually I want to open up my own restaurant, a breakfast place,” Coopersmith says. “I love cooking breakfast food.”

For her, the toughest part of the program, and working at Orlando’s, is learning all the different cuisines that can appear on the menus designed by Chef Smith and his fellow faculty members.

One week at Orlando’s might feature Asian cuisine; the next is French, or Mediterranean. The techniques the students learn in the classroom all apply to different stations in the kitchen, and they come into play no matter the style of cuisine.

“We have a different motivation than a restaurant,” Smith says. “When we develop a menu item, we have to think, ‘What do we want the student to learn?’ We’re not saying, ‘What will sell? What will be the most creative? What’s cool?’ We have to think of what the student is learning, then hopefully we can make it into exciting, fun dishes.” n Orlando’s • Spokane Community College Building 1, Room 148 • 1810 N. Greene • Open Wed-Fri, 11:30 am-12:45 pm, during fall, winter and spring quarters • scc.spokane.edu/Hospitality/inca/Orlandos.aspx • 533-7283

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FEBRUARY 4, 2016 INLANDER 35

This year’s crop of animated short films include (from top left) “World of Tomorrow,” “We Can’t Live Without Cosmos” and “Bear Story.”

Short and Sweet A look at the animated short films nominated for an Oscar

BY PAUL CONSTANT

H

ere comes a controversial statement. Are you a vulture, and the forced wacky hijinks only serve to ready? Here goes: Even the worst animated remind audiences that for whatever reason, computer anishort film is more inherently watchable than a mation has never truly been able to capture the madcap good live-action short film. This is because an animated elasticity of the hand-drawn Looney Tunes shorts that movie creates a whole universe with its own internal Chuck Jones directed more than a half-century ago. logic; while short live-action films must spend most of The other non-Oscar films are flawed but well worth their running time creating the world of a story, we can the handful of minutes they demand of your attention. grasp the concept and themes of an animated film within The Short Story of a Fox and a Mouse is slight, but features seconds. The novelty of animation — one of the most handsome animated foxes put a visual trick that our dumb monkey OSCAR-NOMINATED to film since Disney’s dashing Robin Hood. The SHORT FILMS brains fall for, every single time — Loneliest Stoplight, directed by animation god Bill helps to usher us into a suspension of Not Rated Plympton, is narrated by the titular traffic light At Magic Lantern only disbelief that far surpasses the spell (Patton Oswalt), who falls into disuse after a cast by live-action film. freakishly large freeway bypass is constructed a Happily, there’s only one truly bad animated movie few miles away. If I Was God is a memoir about the weird in this year’s roadshow of Oscar-nominated animated power trip delivered upon schoolchildren when they disshort films. It’s one of the additional, non-Oscar-nomisect their first frogs. nated shorts included to fluff out the program to feature The Oscar-nominated short films display a wide length — a French student project titled Catch It. In it, a range of craft and topics. The most challenging and least group of meerkats try to get a piece of fruit back from successful of the lot is Prologue, a gorgeous hand-drawn

36 INLANDER FEBRUARY 4, 2016

short depicting a battle between Spartans and Athenians in a field more than two millennia ago. With its full-frontal male nudity and copious bloodletting, Prologue is the least kid-friendly film of the show, and its message — war is hell, and women have been putting up with men’s shit for, like, way too long — is facile.

If you’re an animation aficionado, you’ve likely already seen Sanjay’s Super Team, the excellent Pixar short that was paired with the hugely dull The Good Dinosaur last fall. The most memoirish work Pixar has ever released, Super Team rewards repeat viewing with its complex juxtaposition of cartoon superhero imagery and faith.

The other three Oscar-nominated shorts on the program — World of Tomorrow, Bear Story, and We Can’t Live Without Cosmos — are top-notch entertainment. Cosmos depicts the friendship between two cosmonauts-intraining with slapstick and a surprising tenderness. Bear Story is a gorgeous and heartbreaking film about a bear who peddles an autobiographical clockwork peep show to children.

Don Hertzfeldt’s World of Tomorrow is the best film in the show, a science fiction story about a toddler who is visited by the time-traveling clone of the clone of her clone. Tomorrow repeatedly tosses off a spray of highconcept sci-fi delights — roaming moon robots who write poetry! — that would leave Kurt Vonnegut dizzy with laughter. In fact, I’d stack Tomorrow up favorably with most of this year’s Oscar-nominated feature films; it’s two hours of humor, pathos, tragedy, and high-concept crammed into a breezy 17 minutes. n

FILM | SHORTS

OPENING FILMS THE CHOICE

In this latest Nicholas Spark lovefest book adaption, chance brings an unlikely pair together. Travis Shaw is an easy-going bachelor and Gabby Holland is a medical student with a long-term boyfriend. When Gabby moves next door to Travis, the two soon realize their attraction for each other is undeniable. As their relationship grows, their lives change forever and they must decide how far they are willing to go to sustain their love. (CS) Rated PG-13

HAIL, CAESAR!

The latest offering from the Coen brothers features an all-star cast including George Clooney, Josh Brolin, Jonah Hill, Scarlett Johansson and Channing Tatum. Set in 1950s Hollywood, the film follows “fixer” Eddie Mannix (Brolin) as he tries to find out what happened to Baird Whitlock (Clooney) who disappeared during the filming for epic Hail, Caesar! (CS) Rated PG-13

PRESENTS

OSCAR-NOMINATED ANIMATED SHORTS

Check out a program of animated short films that have been nominated for Academy Awards, in addition to a selection of other animated flicks that didn’t quite make the cut. At Magic Lantern (MB)

PRIDE AND PREJUDICE AND ZOMBIES

Think Jane Austen with a mix of newage zombie apocalypse twist. Based on a parody novel by Seth GrahameSmith (and listed as co-authored by Jane Austen), the 19th century tangled love story of two lovers from different classes must do all they can to survive a zombie apocalypse caused by the Black Plague. Will love of the heart trump love of brains? Rated PG13.

(MM)

NOW PLAYING 5TH WAVE

RATED

In sci-fi thriller 5th Wave, gutsy heroine Cassie Sullivan (Chloë Grace Moretz) has the weight of the world on her shoulders, as she must survive deadly alien attacks that ravage the earth. Coming in waves, the first four attacks set Cassie on the run while she tries to save her brother Sammy. For the fifth and final wave, she joins forces with Evan, a young man who might be able to help her. (CS) Rated PG-13

that doll comes to life and makes the job a living hell. (MB) Rated PG-13

13 HOURS: THE SECRET SOLDIERS OF BENGHAZI

Inspired by real events, Caged No More is a drama that raises awareness on the realities of human trafficking. Aggie Prejean desperately searches for her two granddaughters, Skye and Elle, who were kidnapped by their father.

Clues soon reveal that he has taken them overseas to settle his drug debt.

Recruiting the aid of the girls’ uncle, a philanthropist and his son, a former Special Forces soldier, Aggie travels the globe to find them and bring them home safely. (CS) Rated PG-13

Michael Bay makes an explosive cinematic return with the account of the 2012 terrorist attacks on the U.S. diplomatic compound in Libya. Historically known as the Battle of Benghazi, Bay follows the actual events that transpired on the 11th anniversary of 9/11 through the eyes of six ex-Navy Seals.

(MS) Rated R

THE BIG SHORT

Adapting Michael Lewis’ nonfiction book with Charles Randolph, comedic director Adam McKay lays out the stories of the investment banking insiders — including fund managers Michael Burry (Christian Bale) and Mark Baum (Steve Carell) — who saw the mortgage collapse coming as early as 2005, and began to realize how much the game was rigged. (SR) Rated R

THE BOY

A nanny (Lauren Cohan from The Walking Dead) takes a job caring for the boy of what appears to be a kind British family. But when she shows up to start work, she’s told that their son is actually a life-sized doll. Soon, though,

BROOKLYN

Saoirse Ronan’s lovely central performance as a fresh-off-the-boat Irish immigrant lifts Brooklyn’s perfectly pitched narrative of love and homesickness as the young woman learns to navigate her new life.

CAGED NO MORE

CAROL

Already at the top of numerous critics’ lists of 2015’s best films, Carol is a sweeping story of forbidden love between two women — Carol Aird (Kate Blanchett) and Therese Belivet (Rooney Mara) — in 1950s New York City. Eleven years in the works, the historical drama carefully examines how repressive society was in response to homosexual relationships as Carol and Therese struggle to express their feelings while trying to hide their secret.

(CS) Rated R

...continued on next page

R

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FEBRUARY 4, 2016 INLANDER 37

FILM | SHORTS

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Donny is an angry orphaned teen, rescued from the foster-care system by the widow (Phylicia Rashad) of boxing legend Apollo Creed from the Rocky series. She has learned that Donny is the illegitimate son of her late husband and has decided to take responsibility for him — and that unique backstory of a tough kid brought into a life of privilege gives Michael B. Jordan the opportunity for a terrific performance. Donny then heads into the ring for a boxing career with help from his trainer, none other than Rocky himself (Sylvester Stallone, of course). (SR) Rated PG-13

FIFTY SHADES OF BLACK

In this parody of the 2015’s sensual romantic drama Fifty Shades of Grey, Marlon Wayans plays the role of Mr. Black and Kali Hawk portrays the young woman drawn to his character. At one point, the scene in which Dakota Johnson’s character sensually says goodbye to Christian Grey before the elevator door closes is recreated, this time the elevator doors closes many times on Hawk’s head. (CS) Rated R

THE FINEST HOURS

In Disney’s most recent take on a historical event, a hurricane-force storm batters the U.S. Coast Guard’s SS Pendleton tanker ship into two pieces with more than 30 sailors taking refuge in the sinking stern. Bernie Webber (Chris Pine) and three other men embark on a rescue mission with all odds against them.

(MS) Rated PG-13

DIRTY GRANDPA

Jazz Mass

by Dan Keberle

Jazz Orchestra & St. Mark’s Choir Tuesday, February 9th 7:00 pm St. Mark’s Lutheran Church 24th & Grand Blvd Preacher: Rev. Mindy Smith,

Campus Pastor - Whitworth University *The tradition of Fat Tuesday (Shrove Tuesday) is to feast on fat things before the lean weeks of Lent

38 INLANDER FEBRUARY 4, 2016

Jason (Zac Efron) is a responsible, buttoned-down young gent who’s about to get married. But before he does that, he agrees to drive his grandpa (Robert effin’ De Niro) to Florida. One problem, though — his grandpa is a sex-crazed, booze-fueled maniac who detours the trip to spring break in Florida. (MB) Rated R

JANE GOT A GUN

Not to be confused with Aerosmith’s “Janie’s Got a Gun,” a new femmeWestern featuring Natalie Portman (as Jane Hammond) is kicking up some dust. Jane is forced to re-visit her past after her husband Bill “Ham” Hammond comes home riddled with bullets from the Bishop Boys gang, whose head gangster, Colin (Ewan McGregor), has been tormenting the couple for years.

Jane has no choice but to seek help from her ex-fiancé, Dan Frost, to survive and save her family from certain death.

(MM) Rated R

KUNG FU PANDA 3

Jack Black returns to voice the titular martial arts master, Po, and this time around he’s tasked with teaching sweet fighting skills to his crew, the Furious Five. And not a moment too soon, what with an evil, horned spirit named Kai

CRITICS’ SCORECARD THE NEW YORK INLANDER TIMES

VARIETY

METACRITIC.COM

(LOS ANGELES)

(OUT OF 100)

Room

86

Star Wars: The Force Awakens

81

The Big Short

81

The Revenant

75

The Finest Hours

58

13 Hours

48 33

5th Wave DON’T MISS IT

WORTH $10

(J.K. Simmons) threatening to steal the chi of every kung fu master in China.

(KJ) Rated PG

LABYRINTH OF LIES

Set in Germany 15 years after the end of World War II, a young prosecutor sets about investigating Nazi war crimes, even though many around him would rather just forget anything ever happened. This historical German-language drama tells how soldiers at Auschwitz were plucked from their cushy lives and put before the court at the 1963 Frankfurt Auschwitz trials while a younger generation of Germans learned of the true horrors perpetrated by the Nazis.

At Magic Lantern (MB) Rated R

OSCAR NOMINATED LIVE-ACTION SHORT FILMS

Before the Academy Awards, check out all the films nominated in the short film category, form an opinion about which one should win, and then share that opinion ad nauseam at whatever Oscar party you end up at. At Magic Lantern.

(MB)

THE REVENANT

Director Alejandro González Iñárritu, fresh off the success of Birdman, returns with this period drama featuring Leonardo Di Caprio as Hugh Glass, a guide in the Western wilds of the early 1800s who is attacked by a bear and has to cling to life and crawl back to safety. The problem with Iñárritu’s visual pyrotechnics are that although he seems to be making sure that audiences appreciate the gritty realism of it all, he also wants to make sure they know they’re watching a movie. (SR) Rated R

RIDE ALONG 2

Kevin Hart and Ice Cube reunite their comedic chemistry in the sequel to 2014’s Ride Along with humorous banter and, at times, heroic action. James (Ice Cube) reluctantly takes his future brotherin-law Ben (Kevin Hart) to Miami with him to follow up on a clue connected to a drug ring. The trail soon leads them to an unlikely suspect — respected businessman Antonio Pope (Benjamin Bratt) — who they must prove is a powerful crime lord. (CS) Rated PG-13

ROOM

Jack lives with his mom (Brie Larson) in Room (no “the”), the only place on earth the 5-year-old has ever known.

Room is a dingy toolshed supplied with

WATCH IT AT HOME

SKIP IT

nothing more than life’s essentials (a single bed where they both sleep, a toilet, dilapidated fridge, ancient TV and unreachable skylight) where Jack and Ma go through their daily regimen of washing, exercising, reading, eating, etc. On Jack’s fifth birthday, his mom decides to tell her son about the outside world… and hope for a life outside of Room. (MB) Rated R

SISTERS

Amy Poehler plays Maura Ellis, who’s recently divorced and trying to take care of everyone in the family while Tina Fey is Kate Ellis, a single mom who can’t hold down a job. When their parents announce that they’re selling the house where the sisters grew up, they head home to clear out their old things. But instead of saying goodbye to their past, they opt to relive it in the form of a huge party with their old high school friends, only with a personality twist: Maura will get to be the wild thing, and Kate will have to stay sober and responsible. (SR) Rated R

SPOTLIGHT

In 2001, the Boston Globe editor-inchief Marty Baron (Liev Schreiber) asked the paper’s “Spotlight” investigative news team — Walter “Robby” Robinson (Michael Keaton), Mike Rezendes (Mark Ruffalo), Sacha Pfeiffer (Rachel McAdams) and Matt Carroll (Brian d’Arcy James) — to turn their attention to the case of a Catholic priest accused of sexually abusing several children.

And as they begin digging — at first reluctantly — into the case, they discover that the Catholic Archdiocese of Boston might be engaging on a massive scale in hushing up cases of abusive priests.

(SR) Rated R

STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS

If you are reading this, we assume you are just now learning of this film’s existence here on the 33rd page of our venerable publication and not from the marketing you may have seen on a cereal box, bottle of brake fluid or tube of hemorrhoid cream in your household.

The seventh installment of George Lucas’ franchise is set to be the biggest yet, full of all the big sci-fi visuals we’d expect from new director J.J. Abrahams.

As for the plot. well, um, the pictures on this burger wrapper are a little vague on that end. (MB) Rated PG-13 

FILM | REVIEW

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THE CHOICE

PG-13 Daily (4:40) 7:10 9:40 Fri-Sun (2:10) Sat-Sun (11:40)

FRI FEB 5 7PM | SAT FEB 6 2PM | SUN FEB 7 2PM

The Finest Hours tells the story of an epic Atlantic storm in 1952.

Storm of Excitement The Finest Hours might make you seasick, but the thrills are worth it

BY MARC SAVLOV

I

t may not be the finest seagoing adventure/ of-night ocean in search of the stricken vessel. rescue film ever made, but director Craig On board the Pendleton is Casey Affleck’s chief Gillespie (Lars and the Real Girl, Million Dollar engineer Ray Sybert, who finds himself suddenly Arm) and a crack team of digital artisans — workupgraded to captain after the massive tanker is ing in pitch-and-yaw-perfect 3-D — have made a literally torn in two by a rogue wave. Assisting crackerjack action movie. Dramamine is recomhim in the courageous, albeit seemingly doomed, mended prior to viewing. task of keeping their part of the ship afloat are Based on the true story of the oil tanker the naval genre’s standard crew archetypes: the Pendleton that broke in two off the coast of Massahulking, song-singing cook (Abraham Benrubi); chusetts during a particularly disastrous storm in the doomsayer (Michael Raymond-James); and, 1952, The Finest Hours ends up being not terribly well, you can probably fill in the blanks yourself. memorable but considerably A romantic subplot between more exciting than you might THE FINEST HOURS Pine and Grainger isn’t necessary expect. Future audiences will but adds a touch of Fifties-era Rated PG-13 no doubt confuse this particular sweetness to what otherwise Directed by Craig Gillespie seafaring disaster with 2000’s would be a grim movie indeed.

Starring Chris Pine, Casey Affleck, The Perfect Storm (the two films Gillespie and editor Tatiana S. Holliday Grainger certainly have a lot in common Riegel do a pulse-pounding job of outside of their casts), but for a rousing advenkeeping up the suspense by crosscutting between ture story, you could certainly do a lot worse. the tiny Coast Guard vessel and the Pendleton’s Chris Pine (off the USS Enterprise’s bridge crew as they work to shore up their sinking craft. for a moment) leads a rough-hewn ensemble cast Carter Burwell’s score is particularly thunderous, as a rookie Coast Guard sailor, who along with mirroring the on-screen action, and the 3-D really three others is sent from Chatham, Massachuis — for once — superb, making for a breathtaking setts, into the freezing, hurling maw of the deadtwo hours. Well done. 

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THE FINEST HOURS

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DIRTY GRANDPA

R Daily (2:45) (5:00) 7:20 9:35 Sat-Sun (12:30)

THE 5TH WAVE

PG-13 Daily (4:30) 7:00 9:30 Fri-Sun (2:00)

13 HOURS: THE SECRET SOLDIERS OF BENGHAZI R Daily (3:40) 6:40 9:40 Sat-Sun (12:40)

THE REVENANT

R Daily (3:00) 6:10 9:25 Sat-Sun (11:50)

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40 INLANDER FEBRUARY 4, 2016

Dr. Dog lights up the Knitting Factory Monday.

CHRIS CRISMAN PHOTO

Swamp Thing Dr. Dog is about to release its most personal masterpiece, an album more than 15 years in the making

BY BEN SALMON

S

cott McMicken and Toby Leaman have been making music together since they were teens in Delaware. And starting a half-dozen years before their band Dr. Dog came to life in 2001, they have been recording and writing a collection of lo-fi experiments and oddball song sketches known as The Psychedelic Swamp.

Fifteen years, seven albums and hundreds of shows later, Leaman has a solid perspective on “the Swamp,” as he affectionately calls the album.

“We’ve always called it sort of a personal masterpiece on our end, because it really is only a masterpiece to us,” he says with a laugh. “I don’t think anyone else would come close to using that word.”

Read between the lines, and you can see a bit of internal conflict in his words. The original Swamp material might be a challenging listen for all but Dr. Dog’s most fervent fans, but it’s obvious that Leaman loves the stuff.

“I would call it slightly better than unlisten...continued on next page

FEBRUARY 4, 2016 INLANDER 41

MUSIC | ROCK

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42 INLANDER FEBRUARY 4, 2016

The Psychedelic Swamp sounds pretty much like a Dr. Dog record, but different. RYAN COLLERD PHOTO

“SWAMP THING,” CONTINUED...

able,” he says. “[It] holds such a nice spot in our hearts because it was so freeing. It happened so much more organically [than previous recording efforts]. The concepts and songs came along as we were recording. It was just a world we were immersed in for three or four months, and that stuff sticks with you.”

At this point, that’s probably an understatement. On Feb. 5, Dr. Dog releases an overhauled version of The Psychedelic Swamp, with a couple of new songs alongside old ones that have been rearranged and re-recorded. The band essentially took those

early experiments and sketches and fleshed them out, spurred largely by an opportunity to work with Philadelphia’s renowned Pig Iron Theatre Company, which reached out to the band about collaborating.

Pig Iron entered the project assuming the production would be built around more recent, commonly known Dr. Dog songs. The band wanted to go back to the Swamp, though, Leaman says.

“The story from this experimental psychedelic concept album ended up being the basis for this theater piece that we did, and we were like, ‘Well, since we’re going to be revisiting all these tunes, maybe we should actually try to make them sound like tunes,’” he says. “It’s not like we were running out of material. There’s plenty of material. We recorded another album before this one that we’re just sort of sitting on. We just figured we might as well get this one out while it’s still in our minds.”

Its unconventional roots aside, The Psychedelic Swamp sounds pretty much like a Dr. Dog record, albeit one with more blips and bloops and strange noises than usual. All the hallmarks of the band’s easygoing, harmony-heavy roots-pop shine through, just as they do across Dr. Dog’s excellent catalog.

Opener “Golden Hind” lopes along a rollercoaster guitar line before opening up into a chorus that sounds like waking up to greet the day.

“Dead Record Player” pairs Dr. Dog’s archetypal multi-part backing vocals with bouncy Philly funk and soul before giving way to tape-warped weirdness and some guy declaring that “the high

and low fidelities are attacking my brain.”

Elsewhere, the jaunty and jangling “Fire on My Back” stands credibly alongside the catchiest songs in the band’s canon, “Engineer Says” snakes through a shallow canyon of burbling bass and knockabout beats, and “In Love” floats in like a back porch sing-along from Mars.

It’s that hybrid quality of The Psychedelic Swamp that makes it so compelling. At once, you get the master pop-rock craftsmanship of Dr. Dog in 2016 and the funky, freewheeling Dr. Dog from the turn of the century, brought together under a sunburst of “oooohs” and “aaaahs.” Or as Leaman puts it: “I like to think it’s taken us 15 years to get good enough to actually do the thing that we wanted to do the first time around.”

While recording it back in the day, Leaman and McMicken planned to someday revive and rework the songs. Part of the concept originally built into The Psychedelic Swamp, Leaman says, is that it would eventually be revisited and “turned into American pop music.”

“We always intended to do this, but it never made sense because, y’know, you have new songs and new material and it’s like, ‘Well, I don’t really want to go back to The Psychedelic Swamp again,’” Leaman says. “So it was a perfect storm. That’s sort of the serendipity and the beauty of it, the way it came together.” 

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“MAGIC’S CIRQUE DU SOLEIL” –ThE TIMES Of LOnDOn

MAGICAL FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY!

“A hIGh-TECh MAGIC EXTRAVAGAnZA”

FEBRUARY 13 - 14

© The Illusionists

© Joan Marcus

© The Illusionists

–ThE nEW YORK TIMES

INB Performing Arts Center FEBRUARY 4, 2016 INLANDER 43

MUSIC | SOUND ADVICE

NOISE POP VERSING

T

he intro sounds like a whale is dying, or a dial-up modem. But slowly, the piercing guitar feedback of the Versing song “1896” takes shape, becoming a harmonious landscape of reverberation. The song, off the Seattle-based band’s Nude Descending EP, which came out last week, gives you a taste of what the ’90s lo-fi-inspired quartet is capable of — they’re just as willing to compose catchy pop hooks as off-putting introductions. Touting their new record at Baby Bar this Sunday, the band will make you sway and sing along, and then, when the music gets gloriously loud and screechy, wish you’d remembered your earplugs.

— LAURA JOHNSON Versing feat. Outercourse and Jordan, Minnesota • Sun, Feb. 7, at 9 pm • Free • 21+ • Baby Bar • 827 W. First • 847-1234

J = THE INLANDER RECOMMENDS THIS SHOW J = ALL AGES SHOW

Thursday, 02/4

ArBOr CreST Wine CellArS, Fireside Music Series feat. Evan Denlinger J The BArTleTT, Jason Webley, Andru Bemis J The Big Dipper, Aquarius Party feat. 1 Tribe and friends BOOmerS ClASSiC rOCk BAr & grill, Randy Campbell acoustic show J BOOTS BAkery & lOUnge, The Song Project J BUCer’S COFFeehOUSe pUB, Open Jazz Jam with Erik Bowen BUCkhOrn inn, The Spokane River Band J ChApS, Spare Parts COeUr D’Alene CASinO, PJ Destiny CrAve, Stoney Hawk Fizzie mUlligAnS, Kicho The FlAme, DJ WesOne The JACkSOn ST., Garland King’s Zack acoustic jam J lAgUnA CAFé, Just Plain Darin leFTBAnk Wine BAr, Nick Grow mik’S, DJ Brentano J mOnArCh mOUnTAin COFFee, Open Mic hosted by Scott Reid J nOrThern QUeST CASinO, Morris Day and the Time O’ShAyS iriSh pUB & eATery, Open mic with Adrian and Leo The pAlOminO, DJ Perfechter J The pin!, Mickey Avalon and Simon Rex (aka Dirt Nasty) with Disk Jockey F$lon, All Day Trey reD rOOm lOUnge, Latin Tursdays feat. DJ Wax808 TimBer gASTrO pUB, Live music Thursday zOlA, Anthony Hall and Boomshack

Friday, 02/05

ArBOr CreST Wine CellArS, Fireside Music Series feat. Just

44 INLANDER FEBRUARY 4, 2016

PSYCH COUNTRY FUTUREBIRDS

T

hese aren’t cool folksters clapping and singing “ooh” over banjo-laced stomp music. Instead, Futurebirds’ use of a banjo and even a pedal steel guitar and mandolin seems utterly organic and necessary to their psych-country sound. On their 2015 record Hotel Parties, the band, originally from Athens, Georgia (most of the members have since moved away from the musically influential Southern college town), chose to highlight a more stripped-down rock sound than on previous efforts. That doesn’t mean the weight of their music has gone away — they have six members, after all. Some of the songs are mood-enhancing and dreamlike, accomplished through fuzzy guitar riffs and occasional keyboard solos. At it for more than six years, the Futurebirds have finally settled into their sound.

— LAURA JOHNSON Futurebirds and SUSTO • Sat, Feb. 6, at 8 pm • $10/$12 day of • All-ages • The Bartlett • 228 W. Sprague • thebartlettspokane.com • 747-2174

Plain Darin J The BArTleTT, Marshall McLean Band, Mia Dyson Beverly’S, Robert Vaughn J The Big Dipper, Boat Race Weekend, Bad Hex, Griffey, Traveller of Home BOlO’S, Chris Rieser and the Nerve COeUr D’Alene CASinO, Bill Bozly, Misfit Toys CrAve, Stoney Hawk CUrley’S, Dragonfly FeDOrA pUB & grille, Ron Greene Fizzie mUlligAnS, Cary Fly Band The FlAme, DJ WesOne The FOxhOle (315-5327), The Nicholas Peter The JACkSOn ST., Hung Phat JOhn’S Alley, Charcoal Squids with Special Guests J kniTTing FACTOry, Rival Sons, Mount Holly leFTBAnk Wine BAr, Carey Brazil

mik’S, DJ Jason mOOSe lOUnge, The Furtraders nAShville nOrTh, Luke Jaxon, DJ Tom nOrThern QUeST CASinO, DJ Ramsin nyne, DJ spinning penD D’Oreille Winery, Flying Mammals penD Oreille plAyhOUSe (4479900), Open Mic J The pin!, Dopest of the Locals with Moe Davis The reServe, Armed & Dangerous The riDler piAnO BAr, Dueling Pianos feat. Christan Raxter & Steve Ridler river pArk SQUAre (363-0304), Dave McRae J The ShOp, DJ Teej SpOkAne ArT SChOOl (325-3001), Front Porch Trio The rOADhOUSe, Cary Fly

J The viking BAr & grill, The Backups, Friends of Mine, Joshua Bellardo zOlA, Dirty Rice

Saturday, 02/06

BArlOWS AT liBerTy lAke (9241446), Jan Harrison J The BArTleTT, Futurebirds (See story above), SUSTO Beverly’S, Robert Vaughn J The Big Dipper, Sessionz Smooth Jazz - the love edition feat.

Heather Simmons BOlO’S, Chris Rieser and the Nerve COeUr D’Alene CASinO, Bill Bozly, Misfit Toys COeUr D’Alene CellArS, Ron Greene COeUr D’Alene eAgleS (208-6642218), Mardi Gras “Krewe d’Alene” show CrAve, Stoney Hawk

CUrley’S, Dragonfly Fizzie mUlligAnS, Cary Fly Band The FlAme, DJ Big Mike gArlAnD pUB & grill (326-7777), Usual Suspects hOgFiSh, 45th St. Brass irOn gOAT BreWing CO., Nick Grow The JACkSOn ST., DJ Dave JOneS rADiATOr, Dionvox J kniTTing FACTOry, GA’s Too Broke to Rock Series feat. Trivium, Vial 8 and more lA rOSA ClUB, Open Jam leFTBAnk Wine BAr, Karrie O’Neill The lAriAT inn, Widow’s Creek mik’S, DJ Jason mOOSe lOUnge (208-664-7901), The Furtraders nAShville nOrTh, Luke Jaxon, DJ Tom nOrThern QUeST CASinO, DJ Ramsin nyne, DJ spinning

THE PALOMINO, DJ Perfechter PEND D’OREILLE WINERY, Rouge Audio Mechanics  THE PIN!, Party with DJ Beauflexx all night THE RESERVE, Power Up THE RIDLER PIANO BAR, Dueling Pianos feat. Christan Raxter & Steve Ridler  THE SHOP, Kori Ailene THE ROADHOUSE, The Steve Starkey Band THE VIKING BAR & GRILL, The Bucket List ZOLA, Dirty Rice

GET LISTED!

Submit events online at Inlander.com/getlisted or email relevant details to getlisted@inlander.com. We need the details one week prior to our publication date.

Sunday, 02/07

 BABY BAR, Versing (See story on facing page) feat. Outercourse, Jordan, Minnesota COEUR D’ALENE CASINO, Kosh DALEY’S CHEAP SHOTS, Jam Night with VooDoo Church HOGFISH., Open mic THE JACKSON ST., Open mic Sunday night  THE PALOMINO, Blues and Jazz open jam ZOLA, Troubadour

Monday, 02/08

 CALYPSOS COFFEE & CREAMERY, Open Mic CHECKERBOARD BAR, Joe Kaplow EICHARDT’S, Monday Night Jam with Truck Mills  KNITTING FACTORY, Dr. Dog (See story on page 41), Hop Along LEFTBANK WINE BAR, Monday Night Spotlight feat. Carey Brazil RED ROOM LOUNGE, Open Mic with MJ The In-Human Beatbox ZOLA, Fusbol

Tuesday, 02/09

315 MARTINIS & TAPAS, The Rub  THE BARTLETT, Open mic FEDORA PUB & GRILLE, Tuesday Night Jam with Truck Mills THE JACKSON ST., DJ Dave JONES RADIATOR, Open Mic of Open-ness KELLY’S IRISH PUB, Arvid Lundin & Deep Roots LEFTBANK WINE BAR, Turntable Tuesday MIK’S, DJ Brentano THE PIN!, Mardi Gras Party with Disk Jockey F$lon SWAXX, T.A.S.T.Y with DJs Freaky Fred, Beauflexx ZOLA, The Bucket List

Wednesday, 02/10 EICHARDT’S, Charley Packard FIZZIE MULLIGANS, Kicho  GARAGELAND, Funk & Soul DJ night

GENO’S TRADITIONAL FOOD & ALES (368-9087), Open Mic with T & T THE JACKSON ST., DJ Dave JONES RADIATOR, Mark Rhodes THE LANTERN TAP HOUSE, DJ Lydell LITZ’S BAR & GRILL (327-7092), Nick Grow LUCKY’S IRISH PUB, DJ D3VIN3 THE PALOMINO, Open Mic THE PIN!, DJ Freaky Fred THE RIDLER PIANO BAR, Jam with Steve Ridler SOULFUL SOUPS & SPIRITS, Open mic THE ROADHOUSE, Open mic with Vern Vogel and the Volcanoes ZOLA, The Bossame

Coming Up ...

BING CROSBY THEATER, Jonny Lang, Feb. 11 KNITTING FACTORY, Zoso - the ultimate Led Zippelin experience, Feb. 11 THE HIVE, G. Love and Special Sauce, Ripe, Feb. 11 THE RESERVE, DJ X, Feb. 11 LEFTBANK WINE BAR, Nick Grow, Feb. 12 THE BIG DIPPER, Bullets or Balloons, the Smokes, Goodnight Venues, Feb. 12 BING CROSBY THEATER, Riders In The Sky “King of the Cowboys!” Salute to Roy Rogers, Feb. 12 THE PALOMINO, The No Wack Rappers Show feat. Prano the Don, Young B Cole, heather Gin, Krown Royal, Whurlwind Entertainment and more, Feb. 12

THE ROADHOUSE, Monsters of Rock Tribute Mania feat. Top Jimmy, Innersanctum, Piper’s Rush, Feb. 12 JOHN’S ALLEY, Trio Subtronic, Feb. 12, ARBOR CREST WINE CELLARS, Valenwine weekend fireside music series feat. Spare Parts Duo, Feb. 13-14 RATED R TATTOO, Valentine’s Love’N Special feat. Punks In Drublic, Minds Decay, Children Of The Sun, Acoustic by Zaq Flanary and Ariah & David from Thunder Knife, Feb. 13 GREYHOUND PARK & EVENT CENTER, Sweetheart’s Ball feat. Tuexedo Junction Big Band, Feb. 13 THE BIG DIPPER, Valentine’s Hot Jazz feat. Jace Fogleman and Julia Keefe, Feb. 13 THE BARTLETT, Bryan John Appleby, Bart Budwig, Feb. 13 KNITTING FACTORY, The Broken Thumbs, Free the Jester, Elephant Gun Riot, Death By Pirates, Feb. 13, JONES RADIATOR, Nicole Lovely Prom, Feb. 13 THE PALOMINO, Hearts & Arts feat.

Mary Chavez, Sue Reiner, David & Kelli Baird, Joel Wilson, Chris Kohut, Feb. 14 THE PIN!, Within Reach, Here Lies the Hero, Fed to the Flames, Feb. 15 THE BARTLETT, Modern Kin, Animal Eyes, Feb. 19 THE BIG DIPPER, KYRS Presents: Mama Doll, Casey Dubie, Water Monster, Feb. 19 KNITTING FACTORY, STRFKR, Com Truise, Feb. 19

Love at River Park Square works in any language.

Reserve reclining love seats at AMC 20 Theatres.

Dine romantically at Twigs, Gaslamp, Rock City Grill or our other great restaurants. Or shop for the perfect gift at Nordstrom, Anthropologie, and more.

Whatever you plan, River Park Square is the perfect place to translate your love.

VALENTINE’S DAY IS FEBRUARY 14 TH DOWNTOWN SPOK ANE AT M AIN & POST

riverparksquare.com

MUSIC | VENUES 315 MARTINIS & TAPAS • 315 E. Wallace, CdA • 208-667-9660 ARBOR CREST • 4705 N. Fruit Hill Rd. • 927-9463 BABY BAR • 827 W. First Ave. • 847-1234 THE BARTLETT • 228 W. Sprague Ave. • 747-2174 BIG BARN BREWING • 16004 N. Applewood Ln, Mead • 238-2489 THE BIG DIPPER • 171 S. Washington St. • 863-8098 BIGFOOT PUB • 9115 N. Division St. • 467-9638 BING CROSBY THEATER • 901 W. Sprague Ave. • 227-7638 BLACK DIAMOND • 9614 E. Sprague • 891-8357 BOLO’S• 116 S. Best Rd. • 891-8995 BOOMERS • 18219 E. Appleway Ave. • 755-7486 BOOTS BAKERY & LOUNGE • 24 W. Main Ave. • 703-7223 BUCER’S COFFEEHOUSE PUB • 201 S. Main, Moscow • 208-882-5216 BUCKHORN INN • 13311 Sunset Hwy.• 244-3991 CALYPSOS • 116 E Lakeside Ave., CdA • 208665-0591 THE CELLAR • 317 E. Sherman, CdA • 208-6649463 CHAPS • 4237 Cheney-Spokane Rd. • 624-4182 CHATEAU RIVE • 621 W. Mallon Ave. • 795-2030 CHECKERBOARD BAR • 1716 E. Sprague • 535-4007 COEUR D’ALENE CASINO • 37914 S. Nukwalqw Rd., Worley • 800-523-2464 COEUR D’ALENE CELLARS • 3890 N. Schreiber Way, CdA • 208-664-2336 CRAFTED TAP HOUSE • 523 Sherman Ave., CdA • 208-292-4813 CRAVE• 401 W. Riverside Suite 101. • 321-7480 CRUISERS • 6105 W Seltice Way, Post Falls • (208) 773-4706 CURLEY’S • 26433 W. Hwy. 53 • 208-773-5816 DALEY’S • 6412 E. Trent • 535-9309 EICHARDT’S • 212 Cedar St., Sandpoint • 208263-4005 FEDORA PUB • 1726 W. Kathleen, CdA • 208765-8888 FIZZIE MULLIGANS • 331 W. Hastings Rd. • 466-5354 THE FLAME • 2401 E. Sprague Ave. • 534-9121 FOX THEATER • 1001 W. Sprague • 624-1200 GRANDE RONDE CELLARS • 906 W. 2nd • 455-8161 HANDLEBARS • 12005 E. Trent, Spokane Valley • 309-3715 HOGFISH • 1920 E. Sherman, CdA • 208-667-1896 IRON HORSE • 407 E. Sherman Ave., CdA • 208-667-7314 THE JACKSON ST. • 2436 N. Astor • 315-8497 JOHN’S ALLEY • 114 E. 6th, Moscow • 208-8837662 JONES RADIATOR • 120 E. Sprague • 747-6005 KNITTING FACTORY • 911 W. Sprague Ave. • 244-3279 LAGUNA CAFÉ • 2013 E. 29th • 448-0887 THE LANTERN TAP HOUSE • 1004 S. Perry St. • 315-9531 THE LARIAT • 11820 N Market St, Mead • 4669918 LA ROSA CLUB • 105 S. First Ave., Sandpoint • 208-255-2100 LEFTBANK WINE BAR • 108 N. Washington • 315-8623 LUCKY’S IRISH PUB • 408 W. Sprague Ave. • 747-2605 MAX AT MIRABEAU • 1100 N. Sullivan Rd. • 924-9000 MIK’S • 406 N 4th, CdA • 208-666-0450 MOOTSY’S • 406 W. Sprague • 838-1570 NASHVILLE NORTH • 6361 W. Seltice Way, Post Falls • 208-457-9128 NECTAR• 120 N. Stevens St. • 869-1572 NORTHERN RAIL PUB • 5209 N. Market • 487-4269 NORTHERN QUEST • 100 N. Hayford • 242-7000 NYNE • 232 W. Sprague Ave. • 474-1621 THE OBSERVATORY• 15 S Howard • 598-8933 O’SHAY’S • 313 E. CdA Lake Dr. • 208-667-4666 THE PALOMINO • 6425 N Lidgerwood St • 242-8907 PEND D’OREILLE WINERY • 301 Cedar St., Sandpoint • 208-265-8545 THE PIN! • 412 W. Sprague • 368-4077 RED LION RIVER INN • 700 N. Division St. • 326-5577 RED ROOM LOUNGE • 521 W. Sprague Ave. • 838-7613 REPUBLIC BREWING • 26 Clark Ave. • 775-2700 THE RESERVE • 120 N. Wall • 598-8783 THE RIDLER PIANO BAR • 718 W. Riverside . • 822-7938 THE ROADHOUSE • 20 N. Raymond • 413-1894 SEASONS OF COEUR D’ALENE • 209 E. Lakeside Ave. • 208-664-8008 THE SHOP • 924 S. Perry St. • 534-1647 SOULFUL SOUPS & SPIRITS • 117 N. Howard St. • 459-1190 SPOKANE ARENA • 720 W. Mallon • 279-7000 SWAXX • 23 E. Lincoln Rd. • 703-7474 TAMARACK • 912 W Sprague • 315-4846 THE VIKING • 1221 N. Stevens St. • 315-4547 ZOLA • 22 W. Main Ave. • 624-2416

FEBRUARY 4, 2016 INLANDER 45

BENEFIT THE CUTER BOWL

For those of us who could care less about that big sports event on Sunday, the best Super Bowl tie-in is definitely all the spin-off TV specials showing adorable kittens and puppies frolicking around a miniature stadium. Even better than the on-screen cute overload is seeing the action up front and in person at the Yuppy Puppy’s seventh annual puppy sporting showcase. With a starting lineup provided by the Spokane Humane Society, each member of the two teams — including “Pawton Manning” and “Cam Neutered” — are also available for adoption during the event. Even if you’re not looking to add a puppy to your family, the event is open to spectators and those interested in swinging by to shop or support the local animal shelter.

— CHEY SCOTT Puppy Bowl VII • Sat, Feb. 6, from 10 am-1 pm • The Yuppy Puppy • 9511 N. Newport Hwy. • spokanehumanesociety.org • 467-8221

HORSEPOWER BIG. ASS. TRUCKS.

There is something uniquely satisfying about watching a pickup truck jacked up to the heavens and equipped with tires bigger than a regulation dinosaur as the machine emits a sound equal in volume to the voice of Zeus himself. Such is the experience you’ll find at the Monster Jam, the long-running monster truck road show that features big-ass trucks popping wheelies and driving over smaller, less godly trucks for the enjoyment of the masses all weekend at the Spokane Arena. And yes, Gravedigger will be there.

— MIKE BOOKEY Monster Jam • Fri, Feb. 5, at 7:30 pm; Sat, Feb. 6, at 2 and 7:30 pm; Sun, Feb. 7, at 2 pm • $20-$40 • Spokane Arena • 720 W. Mallon Ave. • spokanearena.com

46 INLANDER FEBRUARY 4, 2016

FILM TRAMP LOVE

Charlie Chaplin’s classic City Lights is getting a special treatment thanks to a collaboration between the Spokane Symphony and Spokane International Film Festival. The 1931 movie is full of Chaplin’s familiar themes and tricks — romance, class differences, acrobatic comedy — as his tramp character pursues a blind flower vendor. With the Spokane Symphony providing a live score (composed by Chaplin!) to what Roger Ebert considers the movie that comes “closest to representing all the different notes of his genius,” this should be a memorable night.

— DAN NAILEN City Lights with Spokane Symphony • Sat, Feb. 6, at 7:30 pm • $15/$30 • Martin Woldson Theater at The Fox • 1001 W. Sprague • spokanesymphony.org • 624-1200

PRESENTATION CATS, CATS, CATS

Following up last year’s presentations on the extreme climates and lifeforms of Antarctica and looking for life outside of our own blue marble, the Nat Geo Live! series is turning up the cute factor with its next presentation all about the felidae family’s largest members. Award-winning National Geographic photographer Steve Winter shares his fascinating close-up encounters with tigers, snow leopards, jaguars and cougars. Traveling around the world to catch sight of these elusive and majestic creatures, Winter’s stunning images will tug on the heartstrings of all animal lovers, but especially the feline fans in the audience.

— CHEY SCOTT Nat Geo Live!: On the Trail of Big Cats • Tue, Feb. 9, at 7 pm • $19.50-$41.50 • INB Performing Arts Center • 334 W. Spokane Falls Blvd. • wcebroadway. com • 279-2000

SEE WHAT'S ON THE MENU PERFORMANCE CHINESE EXTRAVAGANZA

For one night only, watch the New Shanghai Circus do things you should never attempt yourself — human juggling, swinging from silk ropes, riding one bike with 10 other people and more. Each act is the very best of China’s long and honored circus tradition, with colorful costumes and daring acrobats promising to make the experience both aesthetic and gasp-worthy. There are also subtle moments, during which performers evoke the sublime with acts of human strength and body contortion. This family-friendly performance is a delightful reminder that the seemingly impossible is possible.

— CLAIRE STANDAERT Shanghai Circus • Sun, Feb. 7, at 1 pm • $25; $12.50/ages 15 and under • INB Performing Arts Center • 334 W. Spokane Falls Blvd. • wcebroadway.com • 279-7000

EVENTS | CALENDAR

BENEFIT

A MIDWINTER NIGHT’S GALA The evening in support of WSU Performing Arts kicks off with a social hour, silent auction and raffle. Then watch the improv show by Nuthouse Alumni AllStars and Anchorage-based improv troupe Urban Yeti. Feb. 5, 6:30-9:30 pm. $35. Jones Theatre at Daggy Hall, WSU Pullman Campus. bit.ly/1S2FV8P (509-335-8522) INLAND NW LAND CONSERVANCY 25TH ANNIVERSARY The local organization celebrates 25 years of preservation and conservation with a benefit gala, featuring a no-host cocktail hour, silent auction, photo booth and dinner with choice of steak, salmon or vegetarian. Author Paul Quinnett presents stories from his book “The Search for Elusive

Trout.” Feb. 6, 6 pm. $75/person. Spokane Convention Center, 334 W. Spokane Falls Blvd. inlandnwland.org (328-2939) MARDI GRAS “KREWE D’ALENE” Enjoy a traditional New Orleans dinner prepared by Chef Kris McIlvenna from 315 Martinis & Tapas. Also includes live music by the Hot Damn Scandal blues band, and an auction of handmade Mardi Gras masks by local artists. Proceeds benefit the CdA Arts & Culture Alliance. Feb. 6, 6 pm-midnight. $35/ person. CdA Eagles, 209 Sherman Ave. artsincda.org/mardi-gras YUPPY PUPPY PUPPY BOWL Watch two teams of puppies frolic, play, chase the football and run touchdowns. All puppies available for adoption after the “game.” Feb. 6, 10 am. Free. The Yuppy Puppy, 9511 N. Newport Hwy. yuppypuppyspokane.com (467-8221)

InlanderRestaurantWeek.com FEBRUARY 26 - MARCH 6

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PRICE Pick up the official Event Guide in the February 25th Inlander. #InlanderRW

FEBRUARY 4, 2016 INLANDER 47

W I SAW U YOU

RS RS

CHEERS JEERS

&

I SAW YOU YOU SPUN MY WORLD! I saw you downtown, I held the door for you leaving the Globe. You beautiful smile, long legs, green eyes. You went to a red Audi, would love to meet for coffee.

RE: TOAD YOU ARE MY WORLD LOL, there are other Toad's out there... I am Toad too! Coco? Your name rhymes with that... but can you give me more to know who this is? How about your age! xoxo.

Good thing my friends read this shiz! Ive told them its not her, but maybe a couple of clues would help! t HUCKLEBERRIES FLOWER BUYER Besides all the "I am an idiot for not getting your name" things we read in here, I was thinking "I am an idiot for not getting your name." Last Saturday, Jan. 30, you bought beautiful flowers after we smiled while you were getting produce and I was being my silly self with the coffee sample gal. You came up to me and my friend and told us you were sorry about our friend, I told you the flowers you bought were beautiful. Me and my red hat would love to stop and smell some flowers with you and your beautiful smile, eyes and fabulous dark hair...

STEELERS FANS I have seen plenty of Pitts Steeler fan in and around town this past season. We all seem to be alone and if we are lucky we might be in the same pub watching a game. Wouldn't it be nice if we actually met up instead of just

bumping into each other? I am creating a place where we can gather and chat and hopefully meet up next season! I hear its going to be a great season for us! Check out our new ""gathering place"" at ""Spokane Steelers Fans"" on FB. Lets connect and create an amazing 2016 Season. Go and Like us to keep up on current news and current locations as to where we will be meeting for the games next season. No, it isn't too early to get ready for next season. Go and like us now so you don't have to worry about finding Steeler fans next season to watch the games with. Lets meet and enjoy celebrate our team together!

TAKE YOUR PICTURE Trader Joe's Fri 1/26 6pmish. You: shopping w/ gf's. Me: guy who took pic with your phone. I wanted to say that your eyes sparkled and your smile could sail ships. Wasn't a time or place for such a moment. But I wanted to tell you anyway.

SEAHAWKS YUK I Saw you now all I do is see you in my dreams. I know I’ll never have a chance we are from more than opposite sides of the tracks, fence, social class, opposite sides of the cell..I am more than glad I met you thank you you have changed me and helped me to find my self my real self I thought I lost forever. even though your choice of football teams sucks . you will always be the coolest. maybe in another lifetime. hopefully in the next life.

CHEERS MY KELVINATOR The first house I bought in Spokane had a Kelvinator oven. It was old, reliable and had classic styling. You, Sir, are my Kelvinator. They don't make 'em like you anymore.

SHOUT OUT! A huge thank you to the South Hhill food bank! I visited for the first time today, bringing with me a canvas bag to escort my findings. I was instead given enough food to feed an army, the kind with nutritional value, too!!! I would have been grateful for some mac n cheese, & I can't tell you how amazed I was to leave with all that. To top it off, you had a whole team of folks wheeling the huge carts of fancy kickdowns to people's cars, and for everyone — BOUQUETS OF FLOWERS! (And you

happened to give me my very favorite kind!) ... When I'm not struggling, I love buying bouquets of flowers for people flying signs because it's adorable & a rare treat for a hobo gal — I was tickled to the core to see this happening on a larger scale! Yay! My friend and I made it back to my house, standing in the backyard — still in awe at our fantastic 200 pounds

“

48 INLANDER FEBRUARY 4, 2016

CAT TRAPPER To the person that trapped our cat in euclid/tschirley area watch u back. U left our cat in the rain and snow for three days. We will find u

ENOUGH ALREADY Can we call a halt to all the intrusive questions every time a person visits a grocery store, big box store, coffee stand, etc? I don't mind in the least when I am asked how my day was, or general conversation about the weather, the Cougs and/or the Hawks.... that's just common courtesy when you're spending a few minutes paying for your

You, Sir, are my Kelvinator. They don’t make ’em like you anymore.

of food, and out came the sunshine.

Thought you deserved to know just how much you did :) BLACK CHOW NAMED JADE This sweet girl came into my life over 7 years ago through an ad in Craigslist Spokane. I was her fifth family and I made a promise to her that she would have a forever home with me. I want to say Thank You for giving her to me to be my dear, sweet companion through life and kudos to all former humans for their skill at raising such an a kind, sweet dog.

FAST FORWARD Love is the answer, and you know that for sure: love is a flower, you've got to let it grow. I will always love you my chi.

JEERS RUDE! Jeers to the guy in the white car who backed into my SUV while I was at work wednesday morning and then decided to just take off with no note.

What a class act you must be. I'm going to assume you must not have insurance because only trash like that would do such a thing. Pretty sure someone will come forward seeing you do it. What a disgrace you are.

HAY SPOKANE The green grass of the neighborhood park where kids play and people take walks is not your dog's toi-

SOUND OFF 1. Visit Inlander.com/isawyou by 3 pm Monday. 2. Pick a category (I Saw You, You Saw Me, Cheers or Jeers). 3.

Provide basic info: your name and email (so we know you’re real). 4. To connect via I Saw You, provide a non-identifying email to be included with your submission — like “petals327@yahoo.com,” not “j.smith@comcast.net.”

#wtbevents

let. The park is also not a trash can.

Though you can find them there. Please be responsible and clean up after yourself and your pet.

keep ur own business in line and stay out of ours TO THE PERSON WHO STOLE MY LITTLE FREE LIBRARY BENCH Really?

You felt it necessary to steal a wobbly old falling apart wooden bench. By the way, did you notice how low to the ground it was? It was low because that bench was for children. It was for the children walking to and from school who stop at my Little Free Library box almost every day.

Good work stealing from children and interfering with the positive message that reading is important.

MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN???

Jeers to Donald Trump and his supporters. Was Obama really so bad that you would actually consider Trump for president? First off you should realize that immigrants are who made this country great in the first place. What's Donald plan to do after sending 11 million out of our country? Enslave Africans again to cover the workers lost? Doesn't sound so great to me. Also, the number one problem facing the U.S. are constant mass shootings and he wants to do nothing. He should change his slogan to "Make America racist , sexist, and violent again." Fellow Washington residents, please don't support a racist, sexist, ignorant bully on primary day.

”

stuff but... come on people! In the last week I have been asked "What are your plans for the rest of the day?", "Where do you work"?, "Are you having those yummy looking steaks for dinner tonight"?, and a new one today.... "Are you going to use those new dish towels to dry your dishes"? What? What?

When did it become common practice for the barista, check-out clerk and bag boy/girl to ask such personal questions?

What if what I was doing for the rest of the day is visiting my dying mother? Is that really what you want to hear? I'm finding it more and more difficult to not be rude when the third degree begins.

What I'm doing for the rest of the day is really none of your business. Just stop it. 

THIS WEEK'S ANSWERS

NOTE: I Saw You/Cheers & Jeers is for adults 18 or older. The Inlander reserves the right to edit or reject any posting at any time at its sole discretion and assumes no responsibility for the content.

EVENTS | CALENDAR PUPPY LOVE AT NECTAR An evening tasting five Washington wines, appetizers from local restaurants and a silent auction. All proceeds benefit the animals at the Spokane Humane Society. Feb. 11, 5:30-8 pm. $15/$20. Nectar Tasting Room, 120 N. Stevens. (290-5182) MARDI GRAS MASQUERADE BALL Spokane Valley Partners host a benefit Masquerade ball featuring DJ Zydeco, a plated dinner and more. Feb. 13, 8 pm-1 am. $20$50. Max at Mirabeau, 1100 N. Sullivan Rd. on.fb.me/1RVYawW (924-9000)

COMEDY

FIRST THURSDAY COMEDY Laugh out loud with live standup the first Thursday of every month in Impulse Nightclub. Each edition features funny local folks from around the region. Ages 21+ only. February’s show features Michael Evans, Chris Moran and Adam Lee. Feb. 4, 8 pm. $10. Northern Quest Casino, 100 N. Hayford. northernquest.com GUFFAW YOURSELF Open mic comedy night; every other Thursday at 10 pm. Free. Neato Burrito, 827 W. First Ave. (847-1234) STAND-UP OPEN MIC Local comedians; see weekly schedule online.

Thursdays at 8 pm. Free. Uncle D’s Comedy Underground, 2721 N. Market St. bluznews.com (483-7300) STAND-UP COMEDY Live comedy featuring established and up-and-coming local comedians. Fridays at 8 pm. No cover. Red Dragon Chinese, 1406 W. Third. (838-6688) STUPID CUPID February’s improv show is about “love and all that nonsense.

Fridays in Feb., at 8 pm. $7. Blue Door Theatre, 815 W. Garland. (747-7045) SAFARI Fast-paced short-form improv games based on audience suggestions.

(Not rated.) Saturdays at 9 pm. $7. Blue Door Theatre, 815 W. Garland. bluedoortheatre.com (747-7045) STAND-UP OPEN MIC Mondays; signup at 9:30 pm, show at 10 pm. Ages 21+.

No cover. The Foxhole, 829 E. Boone. facebook.com/thefoxholespokane TRIVIA + OPEN MIC COMEDY Trivia starts at 8 pm; stick around for open mic comedy afterward. Tuesdays, from 8-10 pm. Free. Checkerboard Bar, 1716 E. Sprague Ave. checkerboardbar.com

COMMUNITY

TREASURE! A touring exhibit exploring the history of treasure and treasure hunting, the technology used to look for it, and the people obsessed with finding it. Show runs Jan. 23-May 15.

Museum open Wed-Sun, from 10 am-5 pm. $5-$10/museum admission. The MAC, 2316 W. First Ave. northwestmuseum.org (509-456-3931) HEALTHY HEART POWWOW A family event hosting all categories of dance contests. Also includes a healthy community dinner, raffles, blood sugar testing, blood pressure testing, and other informational booths. Feb. 5, 6-10 pm. Free. Rogers High School, 1622 E. Wellesley. on.fb.me/1nLu6Yr (324-1995) READY FOR SCHOOL WITH STEM A workshop covering why STEM is important for preschoolers, what they need to know to be ready for kindergarten, and how to become more comfortable

doing STEM activities with children in your care. Feb. 6, 9 am-noon and Feb. 27, 10 am-noon. Free. North Spokane Library, 44 E. Hawthorne. (893-8350) OUR GENES AREN’T BLUE Discover what you and an onion have in common with this fun, hands-on class from Mobius Science Center. For grades K-8; children under age 6 must bring an adult Feb. 8, 4-5:30 pm. free. Medical Lake Library, 3212 Herb St. (893-8330) GIRLS WHO CODE Learn to code, about circuits and conquer new technologies in this session that meets weekly, Tuesdays from 3:30-5:30 pm, Feb. 2-March 8. Free. Gizmo-cda, 806 N. Fourth St, CdA. gizmo-cda.org REFUGEE FOSTER MEETING A meeting about how to become a foster parent for teens coming to Spokane this summer via refugee camps. Second Tuesday of the month. Lutheran Community Services, 210 W. Sprague. (343-5018) WASHINGTON WILDFIRES: COMMUNITY CONVERSATIONS Share your ideas and opinions about the impact of these wildfires at “kitchen-table” style community conversations. Experts leading the conversations include rep. from local fire districts, Fish & Wildlife, the Forest Service, DNR, and faculty from local colleges and universities.

Feb. 9, 6-8 pm. Free. Airway Heights Library, 1213 S. Lundstrom. (893-8250) WEEMAC EXPLORATION SESSIONS The MAC’s pre-K museum educational exploration sessions offers activities to foster exploration and social development. Tuesdays from 9:30-11:30 am, through May.. $5/two people. The MAC, 2316 W. First. northwestmuseum.org

ENRICHED L IVING. L AST ING VAL UE.

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quality

community

YO U D E S E R V E

YO U L O V E

N e w h o me s i n S p o ka n e , Spoka n e Va l l ey, L i b e rt y L a ke , P ost F a l l s & C o e ur d ’ A l e n e . gr e e nsto ne ho m e s. co m

THE INLAND NORTHWEST • READERS POLL

VOTING NOW OPEN • inlander.com/bestof Polls Close February 18th • Results Issue March 24th

FEBRUARY 4, 2016 INLANDER 49

GREEN

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SPOK AN COUN E T READ Y ERS

00

BE AWARE: Marijuana is legal for adults 21 and older under Washington State law (e.g., RCW 69.50, RCW 69.51A, HB0001 and Initiative 502).

State law does not preempt federal law; possessing, using, distributing and selling marijuana remains illegal under federal law. In Washington State, consuming marijuana in public, driving while under the influence of marijuana and transporting marijuana across state lines are all illegal.

Marijuana has intoxicating effects and may be habit forming. It can also impair concentration, coordination and judgment. Do not operate a vehicle or machinery under the influence of this drug. For more information, consult the Washington State Liquor and Cannabis Board at www.liq.wa.gov.

CALL 325-0634 xt. 215 EMAIL sales@Inlander.com

RECIPES

Game Day Goodies 420-friendly recipes for Sunday

BY AZARIA PODPLESKY

W

e’ve rounded up a few cannabis-friendly recipes, all from the Stoner’s Cookbook, to kick your Super Bowl party up a notch.

GUACAMOLE You’ll need: 2 large avocados, peeled and seeded Juice of 2 medium limes 4 teaspoons cannabis oil ½ small red onion, diced ¼ cup chopped cilantro leaves ½ teaspoon kosher salt 1 small tomato, seeded and chopped (optional) Directions: In a medium bowl, mash the avocado; add the other ingredients and mix thoroughly.

“WEEZ-ITS” You’ll need: 4 cups of Cheez-Its 4 oz. cannabis oil (for this recipe, the Stoner’s Cook-

book used 2 oz. of bud for 4 oz. of oil by volume) Directions: 1. Preheat oven to 250°F. 2. Place Cheez-Its in a large bowl. Pour cannabis oil over crackers and gently toss to coat each piece.

3. Spread crackers evenly on a baking pan covered in aluminum foil, and bake for 25 minutes until all of the Weez-Its are lightly toasted and the oil has been absorbed. Let cool for 15 minutes before satisfying those munchies.

SPICE POT-RIBS You’ll need: ¾ cup packed dark brown sugar ¼ cup cider vinegar ¼ cup lightly packed lemon zest (from about 4 medium lemons) 6 medium garlic cloves, finely chopped 3 tablespoons cannabutter (melted) 2 tablespoons kosher salt 4 teaspoons paprika 2 teaspoons freshly ground black pepper ¼ teaspoon ground allspice 2 full racks baby back pork ribs (about 5 pounds) Directions: 1. Whisk everything (except the ribs) together in a small bowl. Coat the ribs evenly with the rub on both sides, cover, and refrigerate overnight.

2. Preheat the oven to 325°F and arrange a rack at the top and another in the bottom third. Remove the ribs from the fridge and let them come to room temperature.

3. Line two baking sheets with foil and place the ribs, meat side up, on the sheets.

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50 INLANDER FEBRUARY 4, 2016

EVENTS | CALENDAR SQUARE DANCE LESSON Square dance lessons held every Wednesday from 7-8:30 pm, through May 18. No partner needed. $3/person. Western Dance Center, 1901 N. Sullivan Rd. squaredancespokane.org (270-9264) COMMUNITY WILDFIRE PREPAREDNESS MEETINGS Join local County officials, fire district chiefs, the WA DNR and neighbors to learn what action you can take now and in the future to protect your land and your community from wildfires. At the Colville Ambulance Building. Feb. 11, 7 pm. (684-2588) DON’T FEAR THE FAFSA Experts help you navigate the Federal Financial Aid System, and complete you FAFSA (Free Application for Federal Student Aid). Feb. 11, 6-8 pm. Free. North Spokane Library, 44 E. Hawthorne Rd. (509-893-8350) HOMELESSNESS IN SPOKANE A forum hosted by the City of Spokane’s Human Rights Commission, discussing the issue of homelessness in Spokane. Open to all. Feb. 11, 5:30-7 pm.

East Central Community Center, 500 S. Stone St. on.fb.me/1PmmOjQ

FILM

MACBETH A new adaption of the famous story of a fearless warrior and inspiring leader brought low by ambition and desire, starring Michael Fassbender and Marion Cotillard. Rated R. Feb. 4-7, show times vary. $6. The Kenworthy, 508 S. Main. kenworthy.org SPOKANE INTERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVAL The 18th annual international film festival features screenings, panels, meet-and-greets and more during its nine-day run. Find complete event coverage online at Inlander.com.

Through Feb. 6. $10/film; $120/pass. spokanefilmfestival.org FIRST FRIDAY CINEMA: THE MARTIAN After touring Spokane’s First Friday exhibits, head to Spark Center for a free film. February’s feature is “The Martian,” starring Matt Damon. Feb. 5, 7-9 pm. Spark Center, 1214 W. Summit Pkwy. sparkwestcentral.org FLY FISHING FILM TOUR The 2016 tour benefits the Casting for Recovery Northern Idaho/Eastern Washington Chapter’s retreat for women battling or recovering from breast cancer. Feb. 8, 7-10 pm. $10. The Kenworthy, 508 S. Main St. (208-882-4127) CHINESE MOVIE NIGHT: THE CROSSING, PART 1 Each film is introduced by visiting South China University of Technology instructor, Mrs. Jianhong Lu, a specialist in Chinese cinema and film culture. The audience can discuss the film and its cultural significance at its conclusion. Feb. 10, 7-9:30 pm.

Free. The Kenworthy, 508 S. Main St. kenworthy.org (208-882-4127)

FOOD & DRINK

IVORY TABLE SUPPER CLUB A rustic, Spanish inspired dinner with wine pairings from Washington’s Pomum Cellars.

Reservations required. Feb. 5, 6 pm. $60-$85. Ivory Table, 1822 E. Sprague. on.fb.me/1RPGD9O (474-1300) VINO WINE TASTING Friday Feb. 5 features selections from Vino’s Wine of the Month Club, from 3-7:30 pm. Sat. Feb. 6 is a blind tasting of Syrah, from 2-4:30 pm. Wines also available bythe-glass. Tastings include cheese and crackers. Vino! A Wine Shop, 222 S.

Washington. vinowine.com (838-1229) ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST DAY The third annual event celebrates artisan small batch ice cream paired with homemade breakfast goodies. The Scoop serves its liege waffles along with cinnamon rolls from Chaps Diner and Bakery, local donuts, and Vegan/ GF treats, too. Feb. 6, 8 am-2 pm.

The Scoop, 1001 W. 25th Ave. on.fb. me/1QFcJBV (509-535-7171) LOCAL FOODS FEAST A three-course dinner highlighting the bounty of the Inland Northwest. Feb. 6, 7-9 pm. $25.

Spokane Convention Center, 334 W. Spokane Falls Blvd. (561-985-0363) COMMUNITY COOKING NIGHTS Each class offers a positive and relaxed environment to learn valuable scratchcooking skills, and to apply those skills to simple, healthy, and cost-effective meals. All recipes are based on what is readily available through area food banks. Register online. Wednesdays from 5:30-7:30 pm. Free. Second Harvest Food Bank, 1234 E. Front. secondharvestkitchen.org WINE & CHOCOLATE TASTING A special Valentine’s Day tasting, featuring wine pairings with chocolates such as huckleberry cordials, spicy dark chocolate Aztec truffles and more. Feb. 10, 4-6 pm. Free. Gourmet Way, 8222 N. Government Way. on.fb.me/1nII0La STEAK + MUSHROOM CREAM SAUCE Chef Janet Campbell teaches how to create a full meal with an appetizer of crab and artichoke dip on rustic grilled bread, steaks in a mushroom-brandy cream sauce with duchess potatoes and more. Feb. 11, 6-8 pm. $40. Gourmet Way, 8222 N. Government Way. on.fb.me/1So1eSU (208-762-1333) THE CHOCOLATE AFFAIR The annual chocolate tasting event and competition offers tasty samples throughout downtown CdA shops. Feb. 12, 5-8 pm. $10-$15. Downtown Coeur d’Alene. on.fb.me/1Pxb4PU (208-415-0116) KNIFE SKILLS CLASS Enjoy appetizers as Chef David Pierce teaches you the secrets of good knife work.

Become more efficient in the kitchen and improve the presentation of your foods. Feb. 12, 6-8 pm. $40. Gourmet Way, 8222 N. Government Way. on.fb. me/203iax5 (208-762-1333)

MUSIC

MUSIC, MUSIC, MUSIC The 10th annual benefit concert for the Spokane Valley Partners Food Bank, featuring a variety of songs and performances from “Phantom of the Opera,” “The Sound of Music,” and more. Feb. 5, 6:45-10 pm. $5-$10. St. Joseph’s Parish, 4521 N. Arden. facebook.com/benefitspokanevalley (926-7133) UI WORLD MUSIC CELEBRATION A celebration of the traditional music of China and Nepal, featuring five visiting musicians from South China University of Technology and Nepal. Musicians use traditional instruments from China.

Feb. 5-6 at 7:30 pm. $5-$8. University of Idaho Haddock Performance Hall, 709 Deakin Ave. (208-885-6231) FILMS AT THE FOX: CITY LIGHTS As part of the Spokane International Film Festival, the Symphony performs live the score of Charlie Chaplin’s unforgettable film during a screening. Feb. 6, 7:30 pm. $15-$30. Martin Woldson Theater at The Fox, 1001 W. Sprague. foxtheaterspokane.com (624-1200)

FEBRUARY 4, 2016 INLANDER 51

RELATIONSHIPS

Advice Goddess Mr. SWiPe riGht

I’m a woman who’s both loving and seriously hating Tinder.

Guys on this app mostly want to hook up, and even those who say they want a relationship are flaky, often disappearing after a single date. Sure, this sometimes happens with guys I meet in real life, but not at the rate of my Tinder dates.

—Annoyed Welcome to the Hookupatorium!

Tinder takes all the wait and effort out of speed dating.

No need to put on pants — or pull them up, if you’re on the john. You just “swipe right” on your phone to match with somebody — and maybe even swipe ‘em right into your bed 20 minutes later. Plus it’s fun — less like a dating site than a video game. “Call of Booty,” anyone?

However, for anyone seeking “happily ever after” instead of “hookupily,” Tinder can pose a problem, and that problem is too much choice. But…choice is a good thing, right?

The more the better! It’s the principle behind those “endless options!” deli menus — you know, the ones with a page count that makes you forget whether you’re supposed to decide what to have for lunch or whether Ayn Rand was a bad writer.

Unfortunately, our psychological operating system evolved in an environment where the level of choice was more like “Sir, can I bring you the grubs or the grubs?”

So research finds that we’re easily overwhelmed by a slew of options — often choosing poorly and being bummed about it afterward or feeling too snowed to choose at all. Social psychologist Barry Schwartz explains that these problems with choosing are about protecting ourselves from regret — the pain of blaming ourselves for making the wrong choice. But having a lot of options isn’t necessarily unmanageable — if we have enough information to differentiate between them and narrow the field. However, on Tinder, there’s minimal info — only age, location, pics, and a few lines about a person — making it an endless swipestream of “she’s hot” and “she’s hot in a slightly different way.”

Also consider that Tinder is not designed to help you find love (that lasts for more than a few sweaty hours); Tinder is designed to keep you Tindering. The psychological hook is “intermittent reinforcement.” Predictable “rewards” — like if you swiped and always got a match — quickly give us the yawnies. But Tinder’s unpredictable rewards — the random ding! “It’s a match!” — turn you into a coke-seeking lab rat, relentlessly swiping for your next high.

You may decide to keep nibbling at Tinder’s mobile-global man buffet, but dates that come out of real-life meetings are probably more likely to lead to second dates, and maybe more. At a party, you’re, say, one of eight single women, five of whom a guy isn’t that attracted to and one of whom he broke up with last year. And finally, there’s how face-to-face meetings come with behavioral constraints that Tinder convos lack. You should find it’s the rare guy at the coffee shop who immediately follows up “That a soy latte?” with a casual “Wanna see my dick?”

AMY ALKON

ShirknAdo

My girlfriend has been feeling neglected and keeps worrying that I’m mad at her.

I love her, but I have big business problems now, and I don’t want to burden her with them. Also, since we have a good thing, doesn’t it make sense to focus on the stuff that’s a mess?

—Startup Guy

Unfortunately, it isn’t possible to outsource your relationship to some guy in the Philippines: “Please stay on the line. Your feelings are very important to us…”

Men and women tend to deal with crisis in different ways. Women manage their emotions by expressing them; men just hope theirs will go away. Evolutionary psychologists Leda Cosmides and John Tooby explain that men evolved to be the defenders of the species, and in battle, it would have put them at a disadvantage to show their feelings -- especially those reflecting vulnerability, like “Yikes, I’m totally out of my league!”

Being predisposed to bury your feelings in the backyard doesn’t mean you should — assuming you don’t want your next startup to be a new relationship. This isn’t to say you need to blather on about everything, Oprah’s-couch style. You just need to share the bad as well as the good, even just by texting, “tough day, babe.” You might even put reminders on your phone to send brief sweet messages a few times daily. Maybe that seems dumb and unromantic. What’s dumber and more unromantic is adding breakup problems to your business problems because you didn’t put in 46 seconds a day telling a woman that she matters. Sure, misery reportedly “loves company,” but let’s not be hasty in filling the flower vases and putting out the good towels. n ©2015, Amy Alkon, all rights reserved. • Got a problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave, #280, Santa Monica, CA 90405 or email AdviceAmy@aol.com (www.advicegoddess.com)

52 INLANDER FEBRUARY 4, 2016

EVENTS | CALENDAR AN EVENING OF JAZZ The music department at Joel E. Ferris High School hosts a concert featuring the school’s jazz ensembles, including the Jazz Orchestra, Jazz Band and the vocal jazz choir ”Camerata.” Feb. 9, 7-8:30 pm.

Free. Central Lutheran Church, 512 S. Bernard St. (354-6034)

SPORTS & OUTDOORS

SPOKANE MOUNTAINEERS BACKPACK SCHOOL The annual course, beginning March 25, is now open for registration. The 9-week course covers gear, clothing, navigation with map and compass, safety and first-aid, food, and outdoor etiquette. Also includes a 2-night graduation backpack over Memorial Day weekend. $80. Preregistration required; for more info visit spokanemountaineers.org. (999-5708) FIND YOUR PARK: MT. RAINIER NATIONAL PARK Join REI to discover Mount Rainier National Park, including the best spots to recreate along with the first-hand knowledge to enjoy your time on the trails. Feb. 10, 7 pm. Free.

REI, 1125 N. Monroe St. rei.com/spokane SPOKANE CHIEFS VS. PORTLAND WINTERHAWKS Regular season hockey match. Feb. 10, 7:05 pm. $10-$22.

Spokane Arena, 720 W. Mallon Ave. spokanearena.com (279-7000) INLAND NORTHWEST BACKPACKING BASICS REI takes the mystery out of backpacking with an overview of planning, preparation and gear. Also learn how to choose a pack, select proper clothing and footwear. Feb. 11, 7 pm.

Free. REI, 1125 N. Monroe. (328-9900)

THEATER

ALL MY SONS Arthur Miller’s masterpiece based on a true tragedy. Through Feb. 7; Thu-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm.

Thurs.-Sun.. through Feb. 7. The Modern Theater CdA, 1320 E. Garden Ave. themoderntheater.org (208-667-1323) SORDID LIVES When Peggy, a good Christian woman, hits her head on the sink and bleeds to death after tripping over her lover’s wooden legs in a motel room, chaos erupts in Winters, Texas.

(Rated R) Through Feb. 21; Thu-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. $22. Spokane Civic Theatre, 1020 N. Howard St. spokanecivictheatre.com (325-2507) TIGHTROPE Written by Megan Fevurly, a MFA playwriting candidate in the Theatre Arts Department, “Tightrope” explores family traditions and dynamics.

The script is inspired by the true story of an aerial artist who wanted to cross Niagara Falls without a safety net, despite the fact his great-grandfather had fallen to his death years before in a similar stunt. Feb. 3-6 at 7:30 pm, and Feb. 6-7 at 2 pm. $10. The Forge Theater, 404 Sweet Ave, Moscow. (208-885-2558) BOOK OF HOURS Written in 1893 when the poet was 23 years old, “The Book of Hours” remains a relevant collection of love poems to God. Feb. 5-6 and 12 at 7:30 pm, Feb. 7 and 13 at 2 pm. $15.

Gonzaga Magnuson Theatre, 502 E. Boone. gonzaga.edu/theatreanddance TREASURE ISLAND A musical adaptation of the classic swashbuckling tale from Robert Lewis Stevenson. Jan. 29Feb. 14, Fri at 7 pm, Sat-Sun at 2 pm. $12/adult, $8/ages12 and under. Spokane Children’s Theatre, 2727 N. Mad-

elia. spokanechildrenstheatre.org COLD FEET Unknown Locals presents their newest original comedy about an upcoming nuptial. Feb. 12-20, Fri-Sat at 7 pm. $10-$12. Heartwood Center, 615 S. Oak St. heartwoodsandpoint.com THE HOBBIT Theater Arts for Children presents a stage performance based on the classic novel by J.R.R. Tolkien. Feb. 12-21; Fri-Sat at 7 pm; alsoSat at 3 pm and Sun at 2 pm. $8-$12. Theater Arts for Children, 2114 N. Pines. theaterartsforchildren.weebly.com (995-6718) PEND ORIELLE PLAYERS OPEN HOUSE The community theater invites all to come see and tour the new theater facility, the former home of the Newport Eagles club. Feb. 12, 4:30-7:30 pm. Free. Pend Oreille Playhouse, 236 S. Union Ave. pendoreilleplayers.org

VISUAL ARTS

NATURE CONNECTS: LEGO® BRICK SCULPTURES The MAC displays 27 giant sculptures created from nearly 500,000 LEGO bricks, created by nationally-renowned, award-winning artist Sean Kenney. Last day on Feb. 7, 2016; gallery hours Wed-Sun, 10 am-5 pm. Museum admission applies. The MAC, 2316 W. First. (509-456-3931) SEASON OF THE HEART February’s show features painter Diane Sherman, printmaker Marion Anderson and other local artists. The show is also a benefit for local nonprofit Hearts for Hunger, through the sale of hearts created by local artists, students and supporters.

Feb. 2-March 31, with an artist meetand-greet Feb. 26, from 5-7 pm. Gallery hours Tue-Fri, 10 am-5 pm and Sat, 10 am-2 pm. Free to view. Pacific Flyway Gallery, 409 S. Dishman Mica. pacificflywaygallery.blogspot.com PRICHARD BIENNIAL INVITATIONAL EXHIBITION & AUCTION Featuring work by more than 60 regional and national artists; pieces may be viewed online and at the gallery through the auction, Feb. 5, at 7 pm. $25. Prichard Art Gallery, 414 S. Main St, Moscow. prichardart.org (208-885-3586) GALA BENT: EVERYTHING SEEMS TO BE COMING TOGETHER An selection from recent bodies of work by Gala Bent, along with a group of new pieces that continue to explore the harmonies and dissonances that make the shape of the world around us. Opening Reception Feb. 9 at 5 pm, with an artist lecture at 6 pm. Exhibit runs through April 1. Gallery open Mon-Fri, 10 am-6 pm, Sat 1- am-2 pm. Free. Bryan Oliver Gallery, Whitworth, 300 W. Hawthorne Ave. (777-3258) GASP!: GODDESS ART SERIES PROJECT An exhibition with the sacred feminine as subject. Art by 30 female artists in various media. Show runs Feb. 12-March 4, open Thu-Sat, from 10 am-5 pm. Artist reception during Musicwalk and the Chocolate Affair, Feb. 12, 5-8 pm.

Free to view. Emerge, 208 N. Fourth St. emergecda.org (208-659-5953)

WORDS

READING: STEVE OLIVER The editor and publisher of the new “The Dark City Crime and Mystery Magazine,” reads crime and mystery stories from the magazine’s most current issue. Feb. 4, 7-8 pm. Free. Auntie’s, 402 W. Main Ave. auntiesbooks.com (838-0206) WASHINGTON STATE POET LAURE-

ATE TOD MARSHALL Spokane poet Dr. Tod Marshall presents his first public reading as the new Washington State Poet Laureate for 2016-18. Marshall is be joined by area poets Laura Read, Mark Anderson, Nance Van Winckel and others. In the Cataldo Hall Globe Room. Feb. 4, 7:30 pm. Free and open to the public. Gonzaga University, 502 E. Boone Ave. (328-4220) 3 MINUTE MIC Auntie’s First Friday poetry open mic continues with guest host Nate Brantingham. Readers can share up to 3 minutes’ worth of poetry.

It’s always free and open to everyone, though this is a free speech event, so content is never censored. Feb. 5, 8-9:30 pm. Free. Auntie’s Bookstore, 402 W. Main Ave. auntiesbooks.com ORIGIN STORIES The comic and graphic-novel style drawing and writing playshop inspires students’ (grades 4-8) creativity and builds story-telling skills. Limited spots; register for free at sparkwestcentral.org. Meets the first Saturday of the month, through March 5. Spark Center, 1214 W. Summit Pkwy. sparkwestcentral.org READING: ROB & CHELSEA MCFARLAND The founders of the non profit HoneyLove read from their book, “Save the Bees with Natural Backyard Hives: The Easy and Treatment-Free Way to Attract and Keep Healthy Bees.” Feb. 6, 7-8 pm. Free. Auntie’s Bookstore, 402 W. Main. auntiesbooks.com (838-0206) BOOTSLAM The all ages performance poetry competition is open to all writers, performers, and sentient beings!

BootSlam offers an extra point for world premiere poems presented in the first round, and a $50 prize. Feb. 7, 7-10 pm. $5. Boots Bakery & Lounge, 24 W. Main Ave. spokanepoetryslam.org TAPROOT SPEAKER SERIES CHRIS CRUTCHER Be inspired by author and anti-censorship advocate, Chris Crutcher, as he shares his inspiring story of self with the community in a 40-minute, TED-style talk. Feb. 9, 7-8:30 pm. Free.

Spark Center, 1214 W. Summit Pkwy. sparkwestcentral.org BEFORE OUTLANDER: SCOTTISH POETRY & CULTURE AFTER THE ‘45 A discussion of Scottish literature after the events portrayed in “Outlander,” a reading of some of Robert Burns’ best poetry, and a preview of the upcoming novel, “The Last Prince of Scotland,” by Spokane author Jack M. Downs. Feb. 11, 7-8 pm. Free. Auntie’s Bookstore, 402 W. Main. auntiesbooks.com (838-0206)

ETC.

THE CURSE OF EVILINA A unique Valentine’s Horror event mixed with an immersive theatrical game. 2-6 players will have 60 minutes to follow clues, complete challenges to break the Curse of Evilina and survive. $21/person. Feb. 4-28; open Thu-Sun from 6-9:45 pm. At Unit 55, 225 N. Ella Rd., Spokane Valley cartelhaunts.com (714-3743) MONSTER JAM Monster truck show.

Feb. 5, 7:30 pm; Feb 6, 2 and 7:30 pm; Feb. 7 at 2 pm. $20-$40. Spokane Arena, 720 W. Mallon. spokanearena.com SHANGHAI CIRCUS A one-night engagement of gravity-defying feats performed by the skilled acrobats, contortionists and performers with China’s revered circus tradition. Feb. 7, 1 pm. $25. INB Performing Arts Center, 334 W. Spokane Falls Blvd. inbpac.com (279-7000) n

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FEBRUARY 4, 2016 INLANDER 53

Says Dan Sperry: “Magic — it’s visceral and it’s analog.” JOAN MARCUS PHOTO

Believe in Magic A career illusionist explains why we still need magic in our lives

BY MIKE BOOKEY

D

an Sperry is not trying to fool you with his magic tricks. He doesn’t think you’ll be tricked into believing that he possesses supernatural powers necessary to produce a dove out of thin air, as he is wont to do.

Sperry just wants you to be entertained. He wants you to believe in the power of magic tricks — and he’s fine with you calling them “magic tricks,” by the way — even if you can easily be blown away by the new Star Wars or a new virtual reality app on your phone or whatever other piece of amazement that technology can provide you.

Compared to those things, magic is actually quite real, says Sperry, who at 30 already is a seasoned magician.

“In a live show, you know that the person sitting next to you got picked at random. It dismisses any excuse because it’s happening right in front of you. That’s what’s really great about magic — it’s visceral and it’s analog,” he says.

54 INLANDER FEBRUARY 4, 2016

Sperry is currently touring with The Illusionists, a troupe of diverse magicians whose expertise ranges from daring escapes to guys who can straight-up disappear.

Dressed like a late-’90s Marilyn Manson, Sperry is a bit of an outlier — “I’m a weirdo. I’ve accepted this,” he says — who appeals to a younger and perhaps more daring group of fans. He came into the mainstream after a strong showing on America’s Got Talent during which he chewed up a Life Saver, then appeared to somehow thread dental floss through his neck, only to yank it out with the Life Saver hanging on the floss.

Growing up in Minnesota, Sperry didn’t have many other magicians to look up to. In fact, he’s mostly selftaught. Because of that, he’s been able to set himself apart from other magicians.

“There was no magic scene. I went through a lot of trial and error — a lot more error. I learned magic by watching VHS tapes and reading books,” he says.

By his teens, Sperry was already performing professionally and landing headlining gigs. He cultivated a fol-

lowing by opening for bands and DJs, billing himself as a “shock-illusionist,” a designation that’s best exemplified by the stunt in which he pulls down his lower eyelids and “blood” streaks down his cheeks.

Sperry appreciates a good show, and that’s what he wants to deliver. For the magic to work, there has to be an investment from the viewer, whether that’s somebody 20 rows back in the theater, or, better yet, the guy who gets stopped on the street to participate. This has been going on for centuries.

“Back in the day [a magician] would borrow a handkerchief and that was a big deal, because people valued that. Now we have currency that’s of value, so you borrow someone’s $20 bill, or their $100 bill, or their credit card, or their phone, and do the trick with that,” he says.

If you think someone has just made your money or new phone disappear, or set it on fire, you’re going to buy into the entertainment. Sperry drives this point home again and again; no matter how spooky the guy looks on stage, his pragmatism when it comes to magic is unexpected.

“I don’t hide the fact that it’s a magic trick. It’s not a contest, it’s not me versus the audience,” says Sperry.

“We’re getting a chance to escape from reality for a bit, and a lot of people need that.” n The Illusionists • Sat, Feb. 13, at 5:30 and 8:30 pm; Sun, Feb. 14, at 1 pm • $27.50-$77.50 • INB Performing Arts Center • 334 W. Spokane Falls Blvd. • inbpac. com

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1-800-523-2464 | CDACASINO.COM | Worley, Idaho | 25 miles south of Coeur d’Alene