So-called shy children may fear ridicule, criticism, failure or even bullying. daughter when her fears about new people and situations became overwhelming when she started school. “When my daughter entered prekindergarten, I expected her to have fun and learn. She talked and talked at home, loved books and said she was eager to start school. I didn’t expect her to refuse to speak to anyone there, but that’s what she did for the entire fall,” he said. Shyness is considered more of a feeling, where the individual feels uncomfortable, than a personality disorder. Some studies have suggested that there might be a “shy gene,” but if the comfort level is raised, the difficulty experienced will not become a permanent and disabling habit.The following are recommended strategies that Malouff and his wife used to help their daughter: • Tell the child about times when you acted bashful. • Explain to the child how she will benefit from acting outgoing. • Show empathy when the child feels afraid to interact. • Prevent labeling of the child as “shy.” • Set goals for more outgoing behavior and measure progress.
• Set a model of outgoing behavior. • Expose the child to unfamiliar settings and people slowly. • Prompt her to interact with others. • Reward her for outgoing behavior. • Praise others’ outgoing behavior in the presence of the child. • Help the child practice interacting with others. • Pair each shy child with another child in each important setting. • Read books with the child about individuals who overcome shyness. • Eliminate teasing of the child. • Teach the child to identify and verbally express their emotions. • Coordinate your efforts with those of other relevant adults. • Read about shyness to learn additional strategies for parents and teachers. • Consult with a school guidance counselor or with a psychologist. Never ridicule or discount the child’s fears of unfamiliar surroundings and people; instead, sharing your
own or others’ experiences and how (your) fears were coped with can certainly help. Gradually introduce the new setting and people, and if possible, be there to lend your support while you encourage the child’s interaction with others. Don’t force them to speak on their own, but include them in your conversations with others so they feel safe. Reward your child for positive improvements. So-called shy children may fear ridicule, criticism, failure or even bullying. If your child is bullied, Malouff said, you will have the “most success with school bullies by being persistently assertive with the teacher and school. It is possible to train children to deal with bullies, but it is usually easier to press the school to end the bullying. I asked a teacher once to end the bullying of my daughter by a physically abusive boy, and the teacher ended the bullying immediately and forever.” Children can learn behaviors to help them feel confident and interact more easily if you provide them with outgoing examples and patience. - CREATORS.COM -
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