“Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart.” —A.A. MILNE
NBARRETT PHOTOGRAPHY
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New York Metro thebump.com
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the social
club
We dish out honest advice, along with our moms and moms-to-be, and share creative pics on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.
We asked new moms to share the
must-haves they couldn’t live without, and here’s what they said: “A yearlong membership to a spa! Don’t be shy, ask for yourself.”
“DreamBelly Butter from Fairhaven Health! I swear by it—it’s so great.”
–PAULA R.
–JAMIE K.
“INSPIRING BABY SHOWERS” IS OUR MOST POPULAR BOARD Moms-to-be can’t stop pinning décor, dessert and game ideas for their upcoming fetes. Get inspired at Pinterest.com/thebump
“Nipple balm. You never think you’ll need it (I didn’t!), but seriously, it’s a lifesaver.” –GILLIAN O. FACEBOOK.COM/THEBUMP
We’re tweeting around the clock about all the latest fertility, pregnancy and parenting news and trends—so you never miss a beat.
we’re @thebump
Follow us @THEBUMP
Our cofounder, Carley, supporting #Moms4Moms.
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We’re ready to go on camera with Kathie Lee and Hoda!
PINTEREST: GABRIEL RYAN PHOTOGRAPHERS
Go behind-the-scenes with our editors for a sneak peek at all the fun we’re having backstage—and at the office!
See what happens at our magazine photo shoots.
Join the conversation now at TheBump.com/community
10/30/14 10:15 AM
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from
k
volume 10, edition 1
c ontents what’s hot
beyond
basics
delivery
nest
glow
celebrate
10 congrats a note from carley 12 meet our contributors pros who made this issue possible 14 bumpie buzz baby news in new york and beyond 16 funny things that happen while trying to get pregnant making a baby isn’t all candles and romance 18 reasons to exercise during pregnancy real motivators to hit the gym 20 in the limelight citrus-hued baby gear 22 it’s in the bag must-haves for the hospital 24 the name game top new york names— now and then 28 becoming a big sibling prep your child for the new baby 30 how big is baby? weekly growth and development 192 mommy deals save big on baby stuff
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get some sleep
moms dish out baby sleep advice
celebrate
34 daphne oz’s foodie, fun & fuss-free pregnancy her secrets for relishing pregnancy 40 map out your pregnancy find everything you need—locally 42 high-tech fertility treatments cutting-edge innovations 48 ultrasound photos decoded baby’s first photo op 52 the crazy rules for naming your baby we break it down by state 62 hot topic: natural beauty products what’s safe 64 what to quit list ditch these habits 66 q+a from meds to counting baby’s kicks
on the cover
glow
72 moms in motion do intense workouts and pregnancy mix? 78 olivia wilde’s inspiring looks the star’s maternity wardrobe 80 pregnancy energy boosters ways to get a lift 86 symptoms you should never ignore what’s normal and what’s not 90 hot topic: circumcision pros and cons 92 fashion checklist maternity wardrobe staples 94 q+a from belly buttons to midnight snacks
Photography by Melanie Acevedo. Fashion styling by Michelle McCool for Kate Ryan, Inc. Hairstyling by Jeanna Mirante. Makeup by Gabriella Voigt. Prop styling by Emily Rickard for Ennis Inc. On Daphne: sweater and jeans, ASOS; tank top, A Pea in the Pod for Destination Maternity; jewelry, Daphne’s own.
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Let the massage therapy team at Oasis help as your body undergoes amazing changes! Prenatal massage can help relieve pregnancy’s common discomforts like: Backaches • Carpal-tunnel syndrome • Leg cramps • Headaches • Fatigue Oasis has specialty prenatal massage tables and pillows. Our aestheticians know exactly what is happening to your skin and can focus on the changes you are experiencing. Our staff is here to nurture you and understands your journey. Let Oasis help you bring out the glow on the outside to complement the miracle inside.
N Y C : O n e P a r k Av e n u e | 2 1 2 - 2 5 4 - 7 7 2 2 We s t c h e s t e r : A t E x i t 1 6 S a w M i l l R i v e r P a r k w a y D o b b s F e r r y | 9 1 4 - 4 0 9 - 1 9 0 0 www.oasisdayspanyc.com
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118
lessons for a labor coach hand this advice to your partner
celebrate
nest
basics
delivery
nest
glow
96 cool and collected a worldly nursery that inspires 102 what to register for the essentials for you and baby 106 subway smarts guide to getting around with baby 110 hot topic: co-sleeping is it safe? 112 babyproofing guide prep your pad with this checklist 114 q+a from nursery design to college savings
delivery
beyond
124 my birth story a new york mom shares 128 surprise! good things happen during labor ignore the delivery horror stories 134 hot topic: labor induction does it have benefits?
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136 birth plan use this checklist to prepare for labor 138 q+a from stages of labor to cutting the cord
basics
140 vaccine fears answers to your biggest questions 144 head of the class local classes to help you ace parenting 146 get pumped solutions to breast pump problems 152 7 ways having a baby makes you sexier you’re hotter than ever, mama 156 you’re on call what to do with your tiny patient 160 hot topic: swaddling should you do it? 162 sleep tracker monitor baby’s zzz’s 164 q+a from baby poop to hiring a sitter
beyond
166 ready for bed bring on the big kid bed 168 5 toddler-friendly hot spots explore your hood with baby 170 get hooked organize your toddler 172 what parents around the world think you’re doing wrong parenting lessons from across the globe 176 breaking the “surrogacy code” you won’t believe this surrogacy story 180 potty training dos and don’ts getting your toddler ready 186 hot topic: time-out when it works 188 toddler chore chart start small with this basic list 190 q+a from weaning to preschool
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get red. Premier Celebrity Newborn Photographer Deborah Hope Israeli F E AT U R E D O N C B S , N Y 1 , A N D F O X N E W S
redheadphotography.net | 908.670.0273 serving the ny metro and tri-state area www.facebook.com/redheadphotography due to high demand, pre-book while pregnant
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y
nant
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part of
k
congrats!
family
There’s so much to know and do now that you’re pregnant, and if it’s your first, this is unchartered (read: overwhelming) territory. This handy guide will help by giving you the most essential info, like where to take the best childbirth classes and how to actually get baby to sleep (not always easy!). Want more? TheBump.com has expert answers to every question you may have. Plus, a huge club of other new parents and parents-to-be to chat with and compare notes. We’re all in this together!
a blast from the past. pregnant with baby #3! Carley Roney cofounder
tweet us @thebump!
welcome, Dylan!
PS: Get our app for personalized pregnancy info every step of the way at TheBump.com/app.
COFOUNDER Carley Roney EDITOR IN CHIEF Rebecca Dolgin
DEPUTY EDITOR Elena Donovan Mauer MANAGING EDITOR Kellee Kratzer ART DIRECTOR Meghan Corrigan EDITORIAL TEAM Anisa Arsenault, Gabriella Baetti, Maria Bouselli, Ashley Castro, Lauren Daniels, Jackie DiBella,
it’s a boy!
PUBLISHED BY XO Group Inc. 195 Broadway, New York, NY 10007 Phone (212) 219-8555 Fax (212) 219-1929 Please note: The ideas, procedures and suggestions contained in this book are not intended as health care or other professional advice, diagnosis or a substitute for consulting with your health care professional. Every baby is different and circumstances vary, so you should consult your own physician and use your own common sense. The author and publisher offer no warranties or guarantees, expressed or implied, in the completeness or advisability of the information contained in this book for your particular situation, and disclaim any liability arising from its use. All product information was supplied by the designers and manufacturers. The Bump has made every effort to portray the products true to their original colors and styles, but we cannot guarantee 100-percent accuracy. Prices and availability may change based on factors including material, regions and season. Nothing contained in this guide should be construed as an endorsement by The Bump of any designer, manufacturer or product featured herein. The Bump Magazine © 2014 XO Group Inc. All rights reserved. Reproduction, in whole or in part, is forbidden without written permission from the publisher. TheBump.com and The Bump magazine are trademarks of XO Group Inc.
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RONEY: DAVID A. LAND
Kristin Giametta, Joelle Montier, Alice Stevens, Julia Wang CONTRIBUTING EDITOR Lauren Greene VICE PRESIDENT, PRINT AND PRODUCTION Frank Dolphens PRODUCTION TEAM Susan Berryman, Lois Brunnert Bethune, Jesse Hardy, Katie Hover, Megan Johnson, Kate Richter, Maria Julie Rodriguez, Kasey Schroeder, Carly Steier, Daryl Wills, Sheryl Ziegler PUBLISHER Stephanie Nicolet VICE PRESIDENT, LOCAL SALES John Pike SALES MANAGER Sandra Jackson SALES AND ADVERTISING TEAM Kathy Gold (kgold@thebump.com, 855-264-8105), Ashley Archer, Kate Buchanan, Danielle Goldman, Sharon Thomas SENIOR PUBLIC RELATIONS MANAGER Melissa Bach
thebump.com
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10/31/14 10:57 AM
What will your child Explore+Discover today? Give your child the E+D advantage. Discover your new home for the finest in early education and daycare for infants and toddlers.
Discover the E+D Difference: • Early education for infants & toddlers • Daycare services like no other • Highly trained early education staff • Eight age-appropriate classrooms • Three dedicated teachers for each class • Arts-oriented curriculum • Private outdoor play area • Daily exposure to art, literature, music and natural materials • Flexible weekly and daily scheduling
Don’t miss out. Space is limited.
Gramercy Center Now Open 444 Second Avenue (at 26th Street)
To register for a tour or to learn more about Explore+Discover, contact us at: info@explorediscover.net or 212.867.3386 explorediscover.net New York Metro thebump.com
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meet our
contributors MELANIE ACEVEDO, PHOTOGRAPHER
what did you love most about your pregnancy?
Being pregnant with my daughter Violet was the best time of my life. I never felt more sexy! I got a pair of black leather pants and a bunch of tank tops and rocked that look for nine months. Pregnant women are beautiful. @melanieacevedophoto
CHRISTINE SCHMIDT, DESIGNER
how did you make those amazing diy projects for your daughter’s nursery (p. 96)? It was convenient! I was writing my book, Yellow Owl’s Little Prints, while I was pregnant, so the projects worked for both. My mom was an art teacher and she’s the inspiration for most of them. @yellowowlwkshop
ADRIAN KULP, WRITER
I can’t have a favorite—I have to be equal. The day my daughter Ava was born was one of the happiest days of my life. After Charlie was born, and they asked me to cut the umbilical cord, I cried. With Mason, I simply thought about how truly lucky I am. @dad_or_alive
our expert panel
Ashley S. Roman, MD, ob-gyn and clinical assistant professor in the Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology at NYU Langone Medical Center; Preeti Parikh, MD, pediatrician at Pediatrics of New York, assistant clinical professor in the Pediatrics Department at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai and a fellow of the American Academy of Pediatrics; Amy Tara Koch, fashion expert and author of Bump It Up; Nicole Meadow, MPN, RD, nutritionist and founder of NutritionWise; Shoshana Bennett, PhD, clinical psychologist and author of Beyond the Blues; Jennifer Ritchie, IBCLC and author of I Make Milk, What’s Your Superpower?
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SCHMIDT: ANA HOMMONAY; KULP: JEN MAYER KULP
you’re a dad of three. what’s your favorite delivery room memory?
Get expert answers to every question at TheBump.com
10/30/14 10:15 AM
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10/30/14 10:15 AM
buzz
What’s new for you in New York and beyond.
PLAY TIME Once baby is ready to move beyond tummy time, start encouraging cruising and crawling. The new Babies in Motion class at NY Kids Club is designed for babies between five and eight months and uses trampolines, play mats, music, puppets and toys to promote stimulation and develop motor skills. Get moving! (NYKidsClub.com)
learning curve Newly debuted Explore+Discover is a blend between day care and school for infants from three months to almost a year old. Complete with classrooms and an outdoor play space, the Second Avenue facility uses an art-oriented curriculum to aid in baby’s development. (ExploreDiscover.net)
hey Facebook, I’m pregnant! In a recent survey on TheBump .com, 63 percent of moms-to-be said they used social media to announce their pregnancies to friends and family first.
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what do you think?
genius idea or scary trend? the c-tuck
Women delivering via c-section are staying under the knife a little bit longer—to get a tummy tuck right after birth. Sounds like a great start to getting fit postbaby, but doctors warn of the risk of complications. “You’re more likely to get blood clots and to retain fluid,” says Karol A. Gutowski, MD, FACS. “There’s also a higher risk of infection when you’re operating on the uterus.” Our verdict? Scary.
b uckle up, baby Safety alert! As baby grows, he’ll eventually be too heavy for the LATCH system (your car’s anchors and tethers made to keep his car seat in place). According to new guidelines released by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, if baby and his car seat weigh more than 65 pounds combined, it’s no longer safe to use LATCH anchors. Instead, use your car’s seat belt and buckle to secure the seat.
thebump.com
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LULU*/CWC INTERNATIONAL
b umpie
Find up-to-the-minute news at Blog.TheBump.com
10/30/14 10:15 AM
If only buying baby gear was as simple as
questions mom asks
Infant car seat or convertible?
Do I need a bassinet?
Which stroller is right for me?
Call us with all your baby gear questions - 877-747-4767 Monday-Thursday: 9am-6pm / Friday: 9am-1pm EST
We’re moms. We get it.
onesie with online purchase
see index
mommy deals
Everything for baby.
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funny things that happen
while trying to get pregnant Sure, making a baby can be all candles and romance, but it can also be pretty wild (and a little embarrassing).
“I NEVER WOULD HAVE GUESSED I’D MEASURE HOW LONG MY CERVICAL MUCUS STRETCHED BETWEEN MY FINGERS. EW!” –DIANA Y.
“Honey! It’s 7:02 and we were supposed to trigger at 7! Hurry up—we’re missing our chance!” – KINGSGAL
–DANIELLE T.
–LAUGHQUEEN
“I stuck myself multiple times a day with a needle, had countless transvaginal ultrasounds, and spent thousands of dollars—all worth it!”
–MELISSASMOM
“I would lie in bed for 20 minutes after sex with my legs in the air. And my husband would time me!” –SUZIEQ
“I NEVER THOUGHT I’D BE CALLING AN IVF CLINIC TO SEE HOW MANY OF MY EGGS FERTILIZED!” –MARY S.
“After sex I made a beeline to the bathroom, and my husband yelled, ‘Hey! Are you peeing out our children?’ ” –KAYLA M.
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NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED
“I never thought I’d send this text when I got a positive on my ovulation predictor kit: ‘Code: Blinking Smiley, I repeat, we are at Code: Blinking Smiley.’ ”
“My husband makes an imploding sound, as if he knows exactly when his sperm has made it past my cervix.”
Join the conversation at TheBump.com/chat
10/30/14 10:15 AM
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reasons to exercise
during pregnancy
You’re swamped. You’re exhausted. You have crib shopping to do. There are tons of excuses not to hit the gym while pregnant, so we rounded up some real motivators. BY MEREDITH FRANCO MEYERS
Pregnant and grumpy? Even a little bit of exercise goes a long way toward improving your mood. And there’s actual science behind this. When your heart gets pumping, blood flows to your brain and endorphins are triggered. Endorphins are known as the body’s happy chemicals, and they usually kick in after 30 minutes or more of exercise. The more endorphins, the merrier!
you’ll have a healthier baby
Exercise is important in managing your weight gain, and in a Boston study, women who gained more weight during pregnancy increased their odds of delivering heavier babies. High birth weight predicts an increased body mass index later in life. In other words, exercise helps prevent weight issues for baby.
bonus!
Exercise now to help your body bounce back postbaby.
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complications are less likely
Expectant moms who keep working out tend to have lower blood pressure and a lower chance of developing gestational diabetes or getting preeclampsia, a scary medical condition that can mean bed rest, labor induction and birth complications.
you’ll have fewer aches and pains
When you get your heart rate up, you’re actually improving your body’s circulation. And that means less pressure on your joints. So there’s hope for those swollen, stiff ankles. Ditto for varicose veins.
you may avoid tearing or a c-section
Having a strong pelvic floor makes you more likely to be able to push baby out fast if needed—and avoid tearing or needing an emergency cesarean.
labor will be easier and faster (yay!)
A New Zealand study reported that expectant moms who exercise for at least 40 minutes up to five times per week are more likely to have babies of normal birth weight, who are easier to push out. Plus, fit women are more flexible, exhibit better muscle control and breathe easier while pushing too.
SHUTTERSTOCK
you’ll be less moody
Make your workout plan at TheBump.com/fitness
10/30/14 10:14 AM
Designed in Barcelona Since 1932
YOU DECIDE WHERE YOU WANT TO GO. WE’LL COME WITH YOU.
*Car seat adapter and a bassinet sold separately
mommy deals
Shock absorber
Anodized aluminum
Fold both ways
Test your Jané here:
www.jane-usa.com
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in the
limelight
The citrus hue takes center stage with the latest baby gear.
pack it up
JJ Cole Collections’s System 180 bag is so chic dad will love using it. $70, BabiesRUs.com
have a seat
Svan’s sunny Bentwood chair goes from six months to five years. $180, Diapers.com
smooth ride
The stylish Dot stroller by phil&teds definitely turns heads. $450, BuybuyBaby.com
suds up!
Boon’s Naked bath collapses for easy storage. $70, BoonInc.com
safety first
Clek’s Foonf seat comes with extended rear-facing abilities up to age four. $450, Shop.ClekInc.com
cute cot
Babyhome’s Dream cot brightens up mom and dad’s room. $300, BabiesRUs.com
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Find more stylish gear now at TheBump.com/babygear
10/30/14 10:14 AM
Your pregnancy doesn’t have to hurt. Let the team at Body Align Physical Therapy care for you so you can care for your baby. Jill Hoefs, Owner of Body Align Physical Therapy and Co-author of Your Best Pregnancy Body Align Physical Therapy is a women’s health and orthopedic wellness center specializing in helping pregnant and post-pregnant patients address and correct their symptoms of discomfort. Let us help you enjoy your pregnancy.
(646) 328 2525 or send an email to admin@bodyalignpt.com
get
50% OFF your best pregnancy see index
mommy deals
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New York Metro thebump.com
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it’s in the
bag
Get packing! You’ll feel less crazed if you’ve got a bag packed with everything you and baby will need at the hospital. Prep these items by week 35. PHOTOGRAPH BY KT MERRY
for labor/delivery: Insurance info, hospital forms and birth plan 2–3 pairs of warm, nonskid socks (for walking the halls) Headband or ponytail holder
A warm robe or sweater 2 maternity bras—no underwire—and nursing pads (whether or not you plan to nurse, you’ll appreciate the support and leak protection) Lip balm (also to combat dry hospital air)
Toiletries and personal items—hairbrush, toothbrush, toothpaste, face wash, deodorant, makeup, conditioner, lotion, contact lens case and solution (remember, travel-size products are your friend) Eyeglasses Pen and paper $1 bills and change for the vending machines and nonperishable snacks (you’ll probably be hungry after labor, and the hospital cafeteria could be closed)
STYLING: ANNIE CAVALLO FOR ENNIS INC
Sugar-free hard candy to keep your mouth moist (hospitals are dry, and sugar will make you thirsty)
for your stay:
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Cell phone and charger— program in phone numbers of people to call or text before and after birth, if you haven’t already
don’t forget
Baby’s car seat! It won’t go in the bag obviously, but baby can’t go home without it.
Camera, if you’re using one, extra memory card, and battery or charger Flip-flops for the shower if you’re sharing a bathroom
Nightgown (your own might help you feel more like yourself than a hospital gown will)
for going home:
Comfortable going-home clothes in six-month maternity size and flat shoes (sorry, but you’ll still look pregnant)
Slippers Breast pump, if you think you’ll use one
A coming-home outfit for baby Warm baby blankets (for the ride home)
extras (take ’em or leave ’em—up to you!):
STYLING: ANNIE CAVALLO FOR ENNIS INC
Extra pillow (warning: it may get ruined)
Soap, shampoo and heavy flow sanitary pads (the hospital supplies these things, but bring your own if you’re picky about brand)
Stopwatch (your nurse or a monitor will take care of timing contractions)
tip
Your iPod or tablet (loaded with your favorite tunes, of course), ear buds and mini-speaker
moms say avoid these
Ear plugs and eye mask (if you have trouble sleeping in a noisy, busy place) A duffle bag packed with a change of clothes and basic hygiene products for your partner
Hair dryer
Any clothes or pajamas you really like (they could get stained)
Very light reading (think celeb mags, not War and Peace)
Massage oil and tools, like rolling pins or tennis balls, and lucky or inspirational objects (you may not even use them, but they’re good to have!)
Bath towel (the hospital will likely provide a small, thin one)
leave at home:
“Keep the baby book at home. You won’t have time to fill it out!” —JACQUELINE R. “We brought a bunch of outfits and diapers. But we used one outfit for taking baby home in and none of the diapers!” —MAYA R.
“We brought Monopoly. Um...don’t bring a board game!” —LILMSPRISS83
Prep for the hospital tour at TheBump.com/maternityward
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the
name game
Wow, names sure have changed! Here’s the Social Security Administration’s list of the top 10 names for boys and girls in New York—now and then.
top 10 boys’ names today
30 years ago
Jacob Michael Ethan Liam Jayden Mason Joseph Noah Matthew Daniel
Michael Christopher Matthew Daniel David Joseph Jason John Robert James
top 10 girls’ names
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today
30 years ago
Sophia Isabella Emma Olivia Mia Ava Emily Madison Abigail Sofia
Jennifer Jessica Nicole Melissa Amanda Sarah Stephanie Elizabeth Michelle Danielle
thebump.com
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Get more name ideas at TheBump.com/babynames
10/30/14 10:15 AM
mommy deals
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10/30/14 10:15 AM
get some
sleep
No, you’re not doomed to be exhausted forever. Moms who’ve been there before share the baby sleep advice that ultimately saved their sanity. PHOTOGRAPH BY KT MERRY
“Babies are used to noise in the womb, so don’t put them to sleep while hushing everyone around you.” –SARA K. “Enjoy the middle-of-the-night feedings. They were our quiet cuddle moments, and they don’t last long.” –ROXANNE B. “Sleep when they sleep. Sounds trite, but that advice helped me survive when my son was a newborn.” –LAURA S.
plenty of play fosters good sleep
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“Don’t freak out at every noise they make when they sleep. Babies are loud sleepers.” –MICHELLE J. “Swaddle!” –BREANNE B. “Set a bedtime routine. My son has done so well recognizing his routine and sleeps for about 10 to 12 hours a night.”
–NICKI B.
keep close Nighttime feedings just got easier. The new Halo Bassinest is a bedside sleeper that swivels over the bed, so baby can rest right next to you in his own safe, separate sleeping area. $250, HaloBassinest .com for stores
STYLING: ANNIE CAVALLO FOR ENNIS INC; GROOMING: SUSAN DONOHUE FOR ENNIS INC
78%
Number of women who buy or register for a baby monitor. Hello peace of mind!
“Never brag about your baby sleeping through the night. Just when you think there’s a pattern, they get sick or are teething and it throws everything off. Just go with it.” –KAREN D.
Learn tactics for parenthood at TheBump.com/baby
10/30/14 10:15 AM
visa速 gift card with program enrollment see index
mommy deals
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10/30/14 10:15 AM
becoming a
big sibling
About to have two on your hands? Yep, it’s a lot, but it will go much more smoothly if you prep your child for the new baby in advance. BY ELENA DONOVAN MAUER PHOTOGRAPH BY KT MERRY
be honest
Make sure he knows early on that you and Dad might not have as much time to spend with him once his little brother or sister arrives. (Say: “It’s not anyone’s fault—babies are a lot of work and can’t take care of themselves!”) Warn him that he won’t be able to play with baby the first few months.
give him jobs
Your to-do list will be shorter if he starts doing some things himself. Teach him to clean up toys or dress himself—whatever is age appropriate.
include him
have some QT
Make it a point to spend one-onone time with him now and plan to continue to do that once baby comes too.
ask him to listen in
prep for the birth Make arrangements with a sitter so he can stay in his own bed when you go into labor, so everything is familiar and not suddenly weird. Ask friends and family who’ll bring baby gifts to bring him one too. Make it an exciting time for him.
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STYLING: ANNIE CAVALLO FOR ENNIS INC; GROOMING: SUSAN DONOHUE FOR ENNIS INC
Give him a baby doll or stuffed animal to “take care of” while you spend time caring for baby.
Find out if you’re ready for baby #2 at TheBump.com/2ndbabyquiz
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New Parent or Parent-to-be? Generations of new moms and dads have trusted the experts at 92Y for classes, programs, advice and community. Come to the place that knows kids best. • Prenatal classes • Lamaze Childbirth Preparation • New parent get-togethers • Breastfeeding and support groups • And that’s just the beginning!
Register today! 92Y.org/ParentingCenter or call 212.415.5611
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92nd Street Y Lexington Avenue at 92nd Street
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An Agency of UJA-Federation
10/30/14 10:15 AM
how
big is baby?
See how she matches up to common fruits and veggies (and what the heck she’s doing in there) week by week. BY PAULA KASHTAN
week 5
apple seed Baby is starting to form her major organs, including the heart, kidneys, liver and stomach.
week 3
poppy seed Sperm met egg and—voilà— conception! Now your zygote sets off on a six-day trek through your fallopian tube to your uterus.
week 6
blueberry With joints starting to appear, baby is forming arms and legs—and growing new brain cells each minute. Wow!
week 8
raspberry Continuing to straighten in the trunk, baby can move those little arms, legs, and (slightly webbed) fingers and toes.
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week 9
olive The former embryo is now officially a fetus, and an ultrasound device may be able to pick up a view of her beating heart.
SHUTTERSTOCK
week 7
sweet pea As blood begins to circulate, baby is beginning to develop eyes, ears, a nose, cheeks and a chin.
thebump.com
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week 14
lemon Your fetus is busy with thumb sucking, toe wiggling, making urine and breathing amniotic fluid.
week 15
orange Finally, all four limbs have functional joints. Your fetus squirms and wiggles like crazy, though you probably still can’t feel it. >
i’ m not fat. i’ m pregnant! week 12 week 13
peach While the intestines make their way from the umbilical cord to the fetus’s tummy, baby is developing teeth and vocal cords.
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week 10
prune Arm joints work, bones and cartilage are forming, and baby’s vital organs are starting to function.
plum As you get ready for the second trimester, almost all of baby’s systems are fully formed. From here, they grow and mature.
week 11
lime Now baby’s fingers and toes are no longer webbed, and her hair follicles, tooth buds and nail beds are forming.
New York Metro thebump.com
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week 17
week 16
avocado Tiny bones are now forming in the ears and eyebrows, and lashes and hair are starting to fill in.
onion Baby’s skeleton is hardening, and those little fingers and toes are now defined with one-of-a-kind prints.
week 18
sweet potato Baby has become amazingly mobile. She yawns, hiccups, rolls, kicks, punches, sucks, twists and swallows.
week 19
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week 20
banana Your baby is gulping down amniotic fluid for nutrition and to practice swallowing. Her taste buds work!
SHUTTERSTOCK
mango Vernix caseosa, a greasy white goo, now coats baby’s skin. Some of it could remain at birth.
thebump.com
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g.
honeydew Baby can recognize and react to simple songs and may even remember them after birth. She now pees about a pint each day.
week 37 to delivery
watermelon Your full-term (yay!) baby gains about half an ounce a day, and her brain continues to develop rapidly.
are we there yet?
weeks 29–32
squash Baby is going through major brain and nerve development, and her energy is surging. Her irises react to light, and all five senses work.
weeks 22–24 SHUTTERSTOCK
n
weeks 33–36
papaya Settling into sleep cycles, baby snoozes 12 to 14 hours a day. Skin is becoming more opaque, and it’s taking on a pink glow.
weeks 25–28 eggplant Baby is getting her immune system ready by soaking up lots of antibodies. Her eyes are forming too.
Get weekly baby updates at TheBump.com/updates
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it was a girl, Philomena Bijou!
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FASHION STYLING: MICHELLE MCCOOL FOR KATE RYAN, INC; PROP STYLING: EMILY RICKARD FOR ENNIS INC.; HAIR STYLING: JEANNA MIRANTE; MAKEUP STYLING: GABRIELLA VOIGT; ON DAPHNE: TOP AND VEST: HAUTE HIPPIE; PANTS: HATCH; SHOES: JIMMY CHOO; JEWELRY: DAPHNE’S OWN; CRIB: OEUF SPARROW CRIB COURTESY OF MINI JAKE IN BROOKLYN, NY
celebrate
thebump.com
10/30/14 10:17 AM
FASHION STYLING: MICHELLE MCCOOL FOR KATE RYAN, INC; PROP STYLING: EMILY RICKARD FOR ENNIS INC.; HAIR STYLING: JEANNA MIRANTE; MAKEUP STYLING: GABRIELLA VOIGT; ON DAPHNE: TOP AND VEST: HAUTE HIPPIE; PANTS: HATCH; SHOES: JIMMY CHOO; JEWELRY: DAPHNE’S OWN; CRIB: OEUF SPARROW CRIB COURTESY OF MINI JAKE IN BROOKLYN, NY
daphne
oz’s
foodie, fun & fuss-free
pregnancy The natural foods chef, author and cohost of The Chew shares her secrets for relishing pregnancy. BY ELENA DONOVAN MAUER PHOTOGRAPHY BY MELANIE ACEVEDO
Daphne Oz is one of those women you’d want to plan a play date with, if you could. She’s friendly and warm, quirky and real— personality traits that shine through on The Chew, the daytime lifestyle talk show she stars on with chefs Mario Batali, Michael Symon and Carla Hall and entertaining expert Clinton Kelly. Her success has skyrocketed in recent years. She joined the cast in 2011, and in 2013 wrote the cookbook and lifestyle guide, and The New York Times best seller, Relish. Now, a new challenge: parenthood! Daphne chatted with us about being pregnant with her first baby (also the first grandchild for dad Dr. Oz).
The Bump Other than your parents, Mehmet Oz, MD, of
The Dr. Oz Show, and author Lisa Oz, who are your role models?
Daphne Oz Role models evolve and change with every stage
in your life. Right now, it’s the moms who make time for their careers, if that’s what they want to pursue, and who make time for themselves. We tend to forget about taking care of ourselves when we’re taking care of everyone around us. >
New York Metro thebump.com
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TB You and your cohosts seem like you might be friends in real life. True? DO We are! I get paid to eat some delicious things and hang out with great friends. If only we could tape our behind-the-scenes revelry. That would be a show you’d want to watch. It’s hysterical. TB So did you have to change what you ate once you were pregnant?
DO I love Mexican food and sadly have to stay pretty far away from it because I can’t take the heat. I miss the margaritas too!
TB Is there anything you’re nervous about? DO A huge learning curve. There are so many things I don’t know. >
daphne’s pregnancy tips
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WALK A LOT
DO DATE NIGHT
“I gave up superintense cardio— sorry, spinning! But I walked three miles a day. Walking keeps you toned without being stressful on your body. It helps me decompress.”
“Have time with your partner and time with your girlfriends. They’re the ones who will be there for you postbaby. Time with them will rejuvenate you when you need it.”
MAKE EATING HEALTHY EASY
TACKLE YOUR TO-DOS
“Whip up big batches of beans, quinoa, brown rice and lentils to store and pair with different flavors during the week. No need to spend a ton of time.”
“Get things off your plate before baby arrives, but if you can’t get it all done, don’t worry. Life won’t stop after baby is born—it’s just the beginning!”
SWEATER AND JEANS: ASOS, TANK TOP: PEA IN THE POD TANK FOR DESTINATION MATERNITY
TB What are you looking forward to most about motherhood? DO I can’t wait to read bedtime stories, do art projects, play dress up, have dance parties and bake delicious treats with our girl. All those magical things I loved so much about childhood.
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“When you look at how much your stomach is going to grow in pregnancy, you’re convinced that all that stretching has to leave its mark! But pretty much everyone I spoke to used Bio-Oil, so I began using it from about my second month, twice a day. I liked the fact that it absorbed well and left my skin looking phenomenal. Now that I know that there’s a great product for stretch marks out there I can’t keep quiet about it – I would absolutely recommend it!”
No. 1 pregnancy stretch mark product in 11 countries.
Nicolette with Amy
Bio-Oil® helps reduce the possibility of pregnancy stretch marks forming by increasing the skin’s elasticity. It should be applied twice daily from the start of the second trimester. For comprehensive product information, please visit bio-oilusa. com. Bio-Oil is available at pharmacies and selected retailers at the recommended selling price of $11.99 (2fl.oz.). Individual results will vary.
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TB You’re really big on date night. Why? DO My husband, John, and I both thought
it was important not to lose sight of our relationship, even as we made way for a new addition. Even if it’s a 15-minute meal together, relishing uninterrupted time keeps us connected.
TB What’s the biggest change you made since you became pregnant? DO I try not to stress out if everything on my to-do list doesn’t get done. You start to realize how important it is to take care of yourself, so you can take care of another little person who totally depends on you. That means cutting out the energy drains that have no room in your life anymore. I used to be a terrible procrastinator, but now I have great reason to prioritize and be more efficient with my time.
daphne says:
“Make smart choices even when you give into cravings.”
TB What did you do to nest for baby? DO I nested like a crazy person. I really
de-cluttered and did major guttings of my wardrobe, books and papers. For the nursery, I worked with a furniture store called Bellini on a French blue and coral scheme. It has a soft, plush texture and fun tribal and geometric accents. I tend to be classic in my taste, so this was a chance to experiment, get a little funky and be playful, but sophisticated.
TB What are your favorite and least
favorite things about pregnancy? DO I love the kicks! I’m sure we’ll be making up some dance moves together. My least favorite thing is waking up uncontrollably at 4:30 a.m.! It’s like my body is advance training me for all the sleepless nights that are ahead. you look up to? DO Seems like Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Garner have a lot of fun with their kids! I’d love to learn how to juggle it all from Victoria Beckham.
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STRIPED SHIRT: ASOS
TB Are there any moms in Hollywood
Get the scoop on Daphne’s baby at TheBump.com/daphneoz
10/30/14 10:17 AM
Trying to have a baby? We can help!
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celebrate
map out your
pregnancy
Whether it’s cravings or maternity clothes, look no further than your neighborhood to find everything you’ll need from trimester to trimester. BY MADELINE SCHMITZ
and the journey begins...
1st trimester
indulge those food cravings
Kill two cravings—sweet and salty—with one cone at Brooklyn’s Ample Hills Creamery (AmpleHills.com). Try “The Munchies”—pretzel-infused ice cream with clusters of Ritz crackers, potato chips, pretzels and mini-M&M’S.
2nd trimester
prep for labor dress your growing bump Belly Dance Maternity (BellyDanceMaternity .com) in the West Village has the chicest maternity clothes in New York. Check out its selection of cozy sweaters and designer maternity jeans—you’ll leave feeling proud of your wardrobe for the next few months.
The unknown can be scary. Demystify what happens during childbirth with a prep class at City Births (CityBirths.com). You’ll learn breathing and relaxation techniques and ways to ease pain. Plus, get the scoop on how to travel in the city when D-day arrives.
3rd trimester
get some prenatal pampering Aching joints? Swollen ankles? Give yourself some much-needed relaxation with a prenatal massage at The Green Spa (GreenSpaNY.com) in Brooklyn. Book an hour-long session and let yourself unwind. Your therapist will reduce swelling, ease tension and leave you feeling rejuvenated. There’s no reason not to indulge—and you deserve it, mama!
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hello, baby!
Find more local help at TheBump.com/new-york
10/30/14 10:17 AM
mommy deals
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celebrate
high-tech fertility
treatments
Cutting-edge innovations in embryo testing and freezing almost seem like science fiction, but they’re not as out-there as you’d think. BY CYNTHIA RAMNARACE
preimplantation genetic diagnosis (PGD)
Recent advances in preimplantation genetic testing—a step added to the in vitro fertilization (IVF) process—allow doctors to screen embryos for genetic problems before they’re implanted. In IVF, egg and sperm are joined together in a lab. PGD happens next. Cells are taken from the resulting embryo (which is frozen right after) and tested to see if the embryo is viable. Healthy embryos are then thawed and implanted into the mother’s uterus.
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“We can take one or several cells out of an embryo and ask genetic questions such as, ‘Does this embryo carry a disease like cystic fibrosis or Huntington’s, or a gene that only causes a risk for disease, like BRCA mutation, which increases the risk of breast and ovarian cancer?’ ” says Eric Widra, MD, medical director of Shady Grove Fertility in Washington, DC, and chair of the practice committee of the Society for Assisted Reproductive Technology. Cost for this type of testing ranges from $2,000 to $5,000, Widra notes. >
SHUTTERSTOCK
What if you knew that you carried a gene that could harm your baby or make getting pregnant nearly impossible? Or what if you were told that your chances of getting pregnant on your own were nearly zero? What lengths would you be willing to go? Advances in fertility medicine are helping couples who thought they could never have children of their own experience the joy of pregnancy, childbirth and parenthood.
thebump.com
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FREE 8X10 see index
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S O F I A LY N N P H O T O G R A P H Y. C O M
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celebrate
PGD worked for Christina Leopold, who was only 19 when she was told she carries the gene for Fragile X, a rare genetic disorder, and had a 50 percent chance of passing it down to a future child. If the gene was passed, she was told the baby would have a 97 percent chance of having Fragile X. “I decided never to have children,” Leopold says. “I was really devastated.” Years later, Leopold got married and had a change of heart. She and her husband researched adoption but were put off by the cost—$5,000 to over $40,000. Then she learned that her health insurance covered 90 percent of the cost of IVF, which can run anywhere from $8,000 to $12,000. Leopold also learned that PGD could determine at the embryonic stage whether a baby was at risk for Fragile X, so she and her husband decided to give it a try. Using blood samples from Leopold, her husband and her mother, doctors custom designed a test to see whether her embryos would have Fragile X. Leopold had eight eggs harvested and then fertilized with her husband’s sperm. All eight embryos were tested—only one embryo carried the mutation. One of the other embryos was implanted and resulted in a pregnancy. Her son, Nico, was born in January 2014, and he’s perfectly healthy. The remaining six embryos are frozen in case she decides to have more children in the future.
counting chromosomes
“The most common reason for not getting pregnant or miscarrying is an embryo that has the wrong number of chromosomes,” says Widra. “So the other hot area of PGD testing is finding out which embryos have the correct number.” Testing costs between $2,000 and $5,000. Jen Ruspantine’s first pregnancy ended with a miscarriage. The second time, a blood test showed the baby had a chro mosomal condition; she and her husband chose to terminate. She learned that she carried a Robertsonian translocation, a rare chromosomal arrangement that makes it difficult to sustain a pregnancy and can cause chromosomal disorders such as Down syndrome and Trisomy 18. After another miscarriage, there was one chance left: IVF and PGD. Six embryos were created using Ruspantine’s eggs and her husband’s sperm. Only one survived, and it had a perfect chromosome profile. On July 27, 2012, the embryo was transferred into Ruspantine’s uterus. Nine months later, their son, Ryder, was born. >
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“I decided never to have children. I was really devastated.”
thebump.com
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egg freezing
Egg freezing has come a long way in the last few years, says David Diaz, MD, of West Coast Fertility Centers in Orange County, California. The technology first became available in 2000, but its success rate then was low. Unlike embryos, which adapt well to the freezing and thawing process, eggs are more delicate. But new freezing techniques developed within the last two years, including slow freezing and ultra-rapid freezing (vitrification), stop ice crystal formation, which can harm the eggs in the process. Because of that, more eggs survive freezing and thawing. Egg freezing costs from $5,000 to $10,000, and there’s no difference in cost between the two techniques. Egg freezing helped Allie Marshall, who, in January 2014, at age 42, tested positive for pregnancy. The most surprising part wasn’t her age—it was the fact it was with an egg she had frozen seven years before. “In 2007, I had just been through a divorce,” Marshall says. “I was 35 years old and feeling the clock tick. I saw an ad about egg freezing, and I thought, ‘If I can eliminate the pressure I feel when I’m dating, then that would be good.’” Marshall remarried a few years later. Attempts to get pregnant on their own were unsuccessful—egg quality and, in turn, fertility decline as a woman ages— but she had five frozen eggs, made by her younger and more fertile self. When she and her husband were ready, they had IVF. Three eggs didn’t fertilize; two did and were implanted. One developed into a fetus. Egg freezing may also be an option for women with cancer who have to undergo radiation or chemotherapy.
intracytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI)
High-tech treatments can help men in their plight to become parents as well. Chris Condit battled Hodgkin lymphoma at age 11. At the time, his future fertility wasn’t even a consideration. But later, when he and his wife, Mandy, decided to start a family, they found out there was a problem. “After nine months of trying to conceive, my urologist told me I had zero sperm count,” says Condit. “And I probably wouldn’t have kids at all.” The Condits switched doctors and found hope at Texas Fertility Center in Austin, Texas. Eighteen eggs were harvested from Mandy and fertilized using ICSI. With ICSI, a small needle helps the sperm do what they’re meant to do naturally— push through the outer layer of the egg in order to reach the nucleus and, hopefully, fertilize it. Physicians include the cost of ICSI with the in vitro procedure (separately fees for the process range from $500 to $3,000). Fifteen eggs were fertilized. Out of those, two were viable. Both embryos were implanted but only one developed into a normal pregnancy. The couple’s daughter, Raquel, will be three in August 2014. And now, Mandy is pregnant with baby number two, conceived through a second round of IVF. She is due in November 2014. The family is grateful for the technology that was available to them. “What changed our lives was knowing that we were going to be able to at least attempt to do an IVF,” says Condit. “And it was really something else, because after they do it, you get your first baby picture, which is a group of six cells. That’s Raquel’s first baby picture. She’s six cells.”
“What changed our lives was knowing that we could at least attempt to do an IVF.”
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Get the scoop on IVF at TheBump.com/ivf
10/30/14 10:17 AM
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celebrate
ultrasound photos
decoded
It’s time for baby’s first photo op! Here’s what you’ll be looking at when you peer into that little screen for the first time. BY LAUREN A. GREENE
Depending on your doctor, expect to have your first ultrasound sometime between 6 and 12 weeks, says Santa Monica–based ob-gyn Sheryl Ross, MD. Baby grows quickly and will look very different in just a few short weeks, so don’t
panic if you don’t see as much detail at an earlier ultrasound (the below image is about 12 weeks). The first ultrasound dates and confirms the pregnancy, as well as detects any potential problems. Here are some key things to know before you go.
oh, boy !
fluid is black; bone is bright white
der Or girl. Gen ted ec et d e may b k ee -w at the 16 d. n u so ra lt u
1 2 5 3 4
HEAD
To determine gestational age, your doctor will measure the “crown to rump length” (top of head to bottom of tush). At 12 weeks, the average size is 5–6 centimeters.
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2
NASAL BONES
Underdeveloped or absent nasal bones have been linked to a high rate of Down syndrome. Your doctor examines the nasal bones to begin ruling out any potential problems.
thebump.com
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3 NUCHAL FOLD The thickness of the nuchal (or neck) fold is another marker for chromosomal abnormalities. The results, along with a blood test, can be used to detect issues as early as 11 weeks.
4
5
See that tiny dark gray circle right under the chin in the chest cavity? That bubble is the stomach starting to form, and your doctor will look to make sure it’s on track.
Depending how she’s positioned, you may not see all of baby’s arms and legs in the profile view (above), but your doctor takes a variety of angles to check on all of them.
STOMACH BUBBLE
EXTREMITIES
SHUTTERSTOCK
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Get info on other prenatal tests at TheBump.com/tests
10/30/14 10:17 AM
A Warrior. A Goddess. A Hero.
PRENATAL YOGA Strengthen mind, body and spirit in preparation for labor and delivery with a class designed to help expectant moms deepen their experience and enjoyment of pregnancy.
YOGA FOR BABIES
A beneficial class for all new moms— get back in shape while strengthening the bond between you and your infant. Experience flowing asanas, challenging postures, and calming restorative time in a playful and safe environment for babies.
CAN’T MAKE IT TO CLASS?
NYC • karmakidsyoga.com (646)638-1444
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Check out our On-Demand Prenatal Yoga, Prenatal Pilates and Baby Yoga videos on karmakidsyoga.studiolivetv.com!
10/30/14 10:18 AM 10/8/14 9:15 PM
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the crazy rules for
naming your baby Thought as parents you could give baby any name under the sun? Well, it depends. BY CYNTHIA RAMNARACE
Believe it or not, there are rules in place that restrict what names can be given. Here in New York, there are length requirements. First and middle names can’t be more than 30 characters each, and last can’t be more than 40. Numbers and symbols are no-nos in Empire State baby names as well. Want to know the rules in other states?
alabama
In Alabama, you can name baby anything you want—last name included. (Some states require baby’s last name be the same as the mother or father, but not Alabama.) Only the English alphabet is allowed. While apostrophes and hyphens are okay, numbers and symbols aren’t.
alaska
Names like Chloë and Beyoncé aren’t a problem at all in Alaska! The state’s computer system can handle umlauts (ö), tildes (ñ) and many other (but not all) foreign characters.
arizona
california
Derogatory or obscene names are banned in California. Only the 26 characters of the English alphabet are allowed, which rules out umlauts and others. Pictographs, such as smiley faces, or ideograms, such as a “thumbs-up” sign, are specifically banned.
colorado
Colorado has no limit on the length of a name, but you need to be able to spell it using a standard keyboard, so no graphic symbols or foreign characters.
connecticut
You may choose any name in CT, so long as it’s “not for fraudulent or nefarious purposes and does not infringe on the rights of another person,” and it uses English characters.
florida
If parents can’t agree on a first name, none can be listed on the birth certificate until both parents sign an agreement or a court selects a name. >
In Arizona, there’s a 141 character limit— 45 for the first name, 45 for middle, 45 for last and 6 for a suffix. Apostrophes, hyphens, periods and spaces are okay. You can have apostrophes, hyphens and spaces in a name, but they can’t be consecutive. Also, Baby, Babyboy, Babygirl, Baby Boy, Baby Girl, Infant, Test, Unk and Void are invalid entries in the data entry system.
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arkansas
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An incredible resource for parents and parents-to-be!
The JCC is here to help you every step of the way with workshops, fitness classes, and more. For expectant moms: Caring for Your Newborn Baby, Infant/Child CPR, Prenatal Water Workout, Prenatal Yoga, and Bump Bash. For new moms: Breastfeeding Support Group, Tummy Time, Mother & Baby Pilates, New Parents Group, Baby Play and Baby & Me Yoga
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The JCC in Manhattan 334 Amsterdam Ave at 76th St. Register today at jccmanhattan.org/parenting or call (646) 505-5723
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georgia
Symbols are off-limits in Georgia, and yes, that includes accent marks.
hawaii
There are no limitations. Even symbols are allowed, but the state’s computer software does require each symbol be accompanied by at least one letter.
idaho
In Idaho, only letters are allowed. Special characters such as asterisks are banned.
illinois
There are no restrictions on what a parent may name a child. Recent updates to the state’s computer networks even allow for quirky names such as “1Der” or “2-Riffic.” So far, no parent has taken advantage of this with their baby’s first name, but there’s a child whose middle name is “7.”
indiana
No rules regarding first names in Indiana! But if mom is unmarried at birth, baby can only be given her mother’s surname, unless there’s an affidavit proving paternity.
kansas
Kansas explicitly requires that babies be given a last name and bans the use of symbols. Accent marks are okay though.
louisiana
You can’t name your child an obscenity in Louisiana, or use diacritical marks (so, André isn’t allowed). As for the last name, if mom wasn’t married within 300 days of the birth, baby’s surname must match his mother’s name. If mom is married, baby’s surname must be the same as her husband, unless the parents agree to change it.
massachusetts
Only letters found on the standard English keyboard may be used in baby names in Massachusetts. So sorry, no æ, ë or ñ.
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michigan
Michigan also requires only English letters.
minnesota
Numbers and all special characters are banned in Minnesota. Apostrophes and hyphens are the only punctuation allowed. Each name—first, middle and last—is limited to 50 letters each, for a maximum length of 150 characters.
mississippi
If mom is married at the time of birth, the baby’s surname is automatically that of her husband. If the parents would like a different surname, the request must be verified and witnessed by a hospital rep.
montana
Montana has no rules on baby names, but its data system doesn’t allow for special symbols. If a parent wants to use a symbol, once they receive the birth certificate, they can write it in and send it back to the vital records office for approval.
nebraska
No names that imply objectionable or obscene words or abbreviations.
new hampshire
First, middle and last names must be within 100 characters total. >
anything goes! states with no baby name rules or laws Delaware Iowa Kentucky Maine Maryland
Missouri Nevada Pennsylvania Virginia
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new jersey
New Jersey bans parents from naming their child an obscenity. Numbers and symbols are also prohibited.
new mexico
Diacritical marks, special characters, and names Baby Boy, Baby Girl, Male and Female are banned. Accent marks, hyphens and tildes (ñ) may be used in North Carolina.
north dakota
Name your child anything, but the data system doesn’t allow special characters. And the last name must match a parent’s.
ohio
The only punctuation allowed in Ohio is hyphens, apostrophes and spaces. Only letters are allowed, no numbers.
oklahoma
Oklahoma has no name laws, but its system limits names to the English alphabet.
oregon
Baby names can get creative in Oregon. Its computer system can handle 40 special characters, including â, é, î, õ and ü.
rhode island
tennessee
Tennessee law is silent on first names, but there are a few complex last name rules.
texas
Numbers and diacritical marks may not be used. So name baby John Smith III, not John Smith the 3rd—and no way, José!
utah
Utah says using marks not found on a keyboard “would make applying for and receiving a birth certificate more laborious.”
vermont
VT says, “You may use trademarked names (IBM), diseases (Anthrax) and obscenities, but we highly recommend against it.”
washington
The only guideline is on length—30 characters for first names; 50 for middle and last.
Diacritical marks can’t be used on a birth certificate. But the state allows parents to use Aña or Zoë on other documents.
west virginia
south carolina
wisconsin
south dakota
wyoming
Want to name your baby K8? In South Carolina you can. Numbers and symbols (think: M!ke) are both allowed. Spaces, hyphens and apostrophes are the only acceptable punctuation.
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Only letters from the English alphabet are okay. Numbers and symbols are banned. When one Wisconsin mom wanted to name her child a numeral, the state required that the number be spelled out. The official record cannot reflect foreign characters (sorry Esmé and Björn).
THINKSTOCK
north carolina
Look up name meanings at TheBump.com/babynames
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mommy deals
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avoid chemicals “I strongly suggest pregnant women modify their beauty routine and minimize their exposure to toxins. Chemicals in your bloodstream can possibly affect fetal development. Phthalates are linked to cancer, for example. Steer clear of lead, arsenic, oxybenzone (in sunscreen), parabens, retinyl palmitate (or retinol), formaldehyde, dibutyl phthalate (DBP), toluene and ammonia. If you see the word ‘fragrance’ on a product label, it could trigger allergic reactions, and some are toxic phthalates and endocrine-disrupting chemicals. It’s not about scaring parents but about education—if you could avoid a negative reaction, wouldn’t you?” LATHAM THOMAS, DOULA AND AUTHOR
natural beauty products?
natural doesn’t mean safe “Yes, avoiding chemicals that could be dangerous to your unborn baby is advised. But some products may not have been tested properly for potential risks to your pregnancy and baby. Commonly used herbs for beauty that are safe in pregnancy include aloe vera, turmeric and lavender. But other herbs may not be safe, such as black cohosh, carcinia cambogia and senna. There are prescription medications (including erythromycin and clindamycin) that aren’t as natural but work well to treat acne and are safe for you and baby. Bring your beauty products to your doctor to ensure you’re not putting yourself or baby at risk; 98 percent of what my patients bring to me is completely fine.” SHERYL ROSS, MD, FACOG
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Check products for safety at TheBump.com/isitsafe
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smoking
raw fish and meat
Premature birth, low birth weight and even stillbirth all have been associated with a mom’s use of cigarettes. Secondhand smoke is risky as well. So ask your partner to kick the butts too.
Sushi, raw or undercooked eggs, and raw meat heighten your risk for food poisoning. All your fi sh, meat and poultry should be fully cooked.
what to
Caffeine has been linked to an increased risk for premature birth and miscarriage. Limit your daily intake to 200 milligrams or less (one or two 8-ounce cups of coffee).
quit list
cleaning the litter box
Fluff y’s poop could contain a pesky parasite called toxoplasma. What’s scary is that it can cross the placenta and infect baby. If you must change your kitty’s box, wear rubber gloves and a mask.
some medications
Bring a list of your prescriptions to your doctor, so she can tell you whether or not they’re safe to take during pregnancy. While many are considered unsafe (or untested), there are some situations in which a doctor believes the risk to an unborn baby is minimal compared with the benefi ts to mom’s health. Example: antidepressants.
drinking
unpasteurized foods
Skip the cheese, raw milk or farmers market juice if the label doesn’t say it has been pasteurized. (Yes, even if you’re a foodie.) It could contain harmful bacteria.
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Hold off on celebratory champagne until baby is here. Alcohol can cause fetal alcohol syndrome (FAS), which can lead to disabilities, including mental retardation.
CLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT: GETTY IMAGES; SHUTTERSTOCK (3)
caffeine
cold cuts
Say good-bye to turkey and Swiss on rye. Deli meats may contain bacteria called listeria, which can cause an illness that can lead to preterm labor and miscarriage.
Get through the first trimester at TheBump.com/firsttri
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celebrate Taking OTC meds, playing music in utero, counting baby’s kicks and more…
Can I take ibuprofen while pregnant? No, stay away from ibuprofen, commonly known by the brand names Motrin and Advil, right now. It can lead to serious problems for baby if you take it after 30 weeks or so. “Ibuprofen can cause an important passageway in baby’s heart to close when taken in late pregnancy. That passage needs to stay open while baby is still inside the uterus and is meant to close up soon after birth,” says Kelly Kasper, MD, ob-gyn and associate clinical professor at the Indiana University School of Medicine. “If it does close before birth, it can cause problems, including heart or lung damage and death.” Already took ibuprofen? Don’t freak out. “A one-time dose isn’t going to hurt baby, even if you took it past the 30week mark,” Kasper says. “The serious and scary side effects tend to occur with repeated, chronic use of the medication. If you happened to take a dose of Advil because you had a headache last week and you’re at 33 weeks, baby will be fine.” What about acetaminophen? Yes, go ahead and take acetaminophen (Tylenol). “We consider acetaminophen very safe to take in pregnancy,” says Kasper. Always follow dosing instructions closely, though. Too much acetaminophen
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is hard on your liver—and baby’s too. Also important: Don’t combine it with other medications without checking with your doctor first, since some of them (such as cold meds) contain acetaminophen too. Can playing music to baby in utero make him smarter? “There are no studies that say playing music to babies in utero makes them smart,” says Kasper. Of course, that doesn’t mean that listening to Beethoven, Bach or even Beyoncé prebirth doesn’t make baby smarter. There’s just no way to tell for sure. “You can’t study babies in utero,” Kasper notes. “You can’t see how their neurons respond to music. It’s impossible.” What’s certain is that babies can hear music (and other sounds) when they’re in the womb, and some scientific studies have reported what moms have known for years: Babies often move in response to music. “Some people might surmise from that, ‘Oh, baby likes it.’ Other people might surmise, ‘Oh, baby hates it,’ ” Kasper says. Hey, if you enjoy listening to music, go for it! Pick whatever tunes you like and crank them as loudly as you want. If it’s at all beneficial to baby, it’s probably because it helps mom-to-be relax. “A decrease in mom’s stress can have positive effects for baby,” Kasper says. >
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(
If baby is moving less than usual, or if Should I line up a baby nurse for after you haven’t felt movement in a while, start baby arrives? What do they do? counting kicks. “Drink something cold and Baby nurses are pros at easing you— lie in a quiet room. Then see how long it and your brand-new baby—into your new takes to feel 10 movements,” says Goldman. life together. One can help establish a “If an hour—or at most, two hours—has bedtime routine, organize the nursery, and gone by and you haven’t felt at least 10 make sure you’re nourished and comfy movements, call the doctor.” after you’re home from the Not feeling 10 movements hospital. She can show you in an hour doesn’t necessarily how to deal with issues mean something is wrong. But like colic, gas and excessive Why do I have a lack of movement can indicrying, all of which can be a metallic taste cate a problem that could lead stressful, and pitch in with in my mouth? to stillbirth, so your doctor chores like packing the That funny will likely want to run tests to diaper bag and laundering metallic taste is check baby’s health—listening onesies. In deciding whether probably related to her heartbeat and possibly or not to hire one, consider to the high level doing an ultrasound or your situation. Do you have non-stress test. family or close friends nearby of estrogen in who are willing and able to your body, says Is it wrong to feel disappoinhelp you? Also think about Goldman. It ted about baby’s gender? your personality and whether usually fades as No, you might not hear about you and your partner will be pregnancy goes gender disappointment able to be up all night and on, the same way often because parents-to-be still function the next day. It’s morning sickness don’t always talk about it. definitely not easy. does. Eat acidic “There’s shame because foods, like citrus we’re supposed to feel grateHow often should my baby fruit or pickles, ful,” says Shoshana Bennett, be moving? PhD, a clinical psychologist. All babies are different. Some to cut the taste. Forgive yourself for feeling let are more active than others down—it’s a valid emotion. at different times, says Debra But remember that it’s based Goldman, MD, ob-gyn at on a fantasy of what your family should Women & Infants Hospital of Rhode be. “Talk about it with a trusted friend, so Island. Factors such as the location of you can let go of it quickly,” Bennett says. the placenta and baby’s positioning can “The truth is, you don’t know what this affect how much movement you feel. child’s temperament will be. They’ll have Some babies kick like crazy after dinner; their own passions. Look forward to discovothers go nuts at bedtime. With time, ering them along with him or her.” Good you’ll get to know your baby’s usual news: Gender disappointment tends to patterns of movement. Pay attention to disappear after birth. his habits and note any changes.
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Get answers to every question at TheBump.com/pregnancy
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mom knows best
When it comes to baby and pregnancy products, the most innovative pieces come straight from moms. Here are our faves!
preserving milestones
WHAT IT IS: Sticky Bellies® Milestone Stickers INVENTED BY: Carly Dorogi
Sticky Bellies® are removable stickers that help parents capture baby’s amazing growth with style and convenience. Simply peel, stick and snap a pic. A variety of styles are available for pregnant mamas, baby boys, baby girls and toddlers! StickyBellies.com
let no breast milk go to waste WHAT IT IS: Milkies Milk-Saver INVENTED BY: Fairhaven Health
The Milk-Saver collects your leaking breast milk from your non-nursing side as you nurse, allowing you to store extra breast milk effortlessly with each feeding. Discreet, comfortable and convenient— no more wasted drops or milk-stained shirts! FairhavenHealth.com; (800) 367-2837
breathe a psi of relief
WHAT IT IS: Psi Bands INVENTED BY: Romy Taormina, a mom who suffered from
debilitating morning sickness These cool acupressure wristbands are the stylish way to quell the queasies due to morning sickness, motion sickness, anesthesia and chemotherapy. They are FDA-cleared, drug-free, adjustable, reusable, waterproof and affordable. PsiBands.com
baby’s fi rst artwork
WHAT IT IS: Little Cord ArtTM INVENTED BY: Stephanie & Keith Duff y, MD
Little Cord ArtTM is a beautiful, unique way to preserve your baby’s umbilical cord. Each one-of-akind artwork is a photograph of the cord cells viewed through a microscope. The colorful wall art will be a conversation piece in any room. LittleCordArt.com
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“wee” got you covered
WHAT IT IS: Milkmade Nursing Cover INVENTED BY: Allisa Patitucci, Wee Nurture Inc.
Meet your favorite new baby product! Wee Nurture’s patented breastfeeding cover only covers mom. The hourglass shape hugs mom’s neck securely, then a flap on the front is lifted just enough for latching. The clever flap is also a pocket. IBCLC recommended and mom approved! WeeNurture.com; (925) 247-8201
looking good
WHAT IT IS: Amalou Skin INVENTED BY: Kitty Giusio and Ellie Magnuson
Amalou Skin is the only full face care line that addresses pregnancy-related blemishes. Created by moms in search of a safer solution to acne, Amalou’s maternity-conscious products have no potentially harmful ingredients and leave skin glowing. AmalouSkin.com; (203) 403-3686
a m
W I
B s l d
something to get excited about WHAT IT IS: Angel Dear INVENTED BY: People who love babies
At Angel Dear we create classic baby clothing and accessories with a modern sensibility and attention to special details. Please visit AngelDear.net to view our full collection of apparel, gifts and swaddles.
for the modern labor experience
WHAT IT IS: Pretty Pushers Transition Gown INVENTED BY: Mary Apple
Made in the USA of cotton and spandex, this gown functions as a maternity dress, labor and delivery gown and nursing dress. A hidden opening and snaps provide access for fetal monitors and an epidural. The halter neck allows for IVs, skin-to-skin access and breastfeeding. PrettyPushers.com
only and always natural™
WHAT IT IS: Dolphin Organics™ INVENTED BY: Nigel and Ayo Hart
Dolphin Organics™ offers certified organic and natural bath products for babies and young children. Our line is dermatologist-tested hypoallergenic and PETA-certified cruelty-free and vegan. Our products gently cleanse, hydrate and protect the most delicate skin. DolphinOrganics.com
every drop counts
b i
WHAT IT IS: Breast milk donation INVENTED BY: Kim Henson and Stacy Brown
Breast milk donation has a significant impact on the lives of critically ill and premature infants in the NICU. We partner with Prolacta Bioscience to ensure that our donors’ milk is received by the tiniest of humans who need help surviving. Donate 300 ounces and earn $300! NationalMilkBank.org; (866) 522-6455
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all-in-one stylish top, cozy pouch, nursing bra
WHAT IT IS: Lalabu Soothe Shirt™ INVENTED BY: A mom and dad after a family trip to Africa
Nothing comforts a newborn like being close to mom, but wrapping your little one can be tricky. The Soothe Shirt makes wearing your baby easy, doubles as a nursing bra and is a fashionable shirt meant to be the basis of your postpregnancy wardrobe. Lalabu.com
a modern alternative to the maternity support belt
WHAT IT IS: The Belly Sport Bra INVENTED BY: Physical Therapist/Pilates Instructor
Bao Bei Maternity introduces a support band that feels like a sport bra on your belly! Stay active during your pregnancy, ease low back pain and minimize ab separation. Enjoy pure comfort during prenatal exercise or just on the go. BellySportBra.com
lose postbaby belly
WHAT IT IS: Wink Postpartum Bikini INVENTED BY: A mom looking for an extremely effective and
comfortable way to lose postbaby belly, yet provide support for the uterus after delivery and help the body return to its original shape. WinkShapewear.com; (866) 954-9779
maternity robes
WHAT IT IS: Modern Kimono® INVENTED BY: Kate
These robes are made with 100% premium designer cotton. It can be used as a maternity and nursing robe (great for those first hospital pictures). You can answer the door looking smart and put together, even after those long sleepless nights. ModernKimono.com ®
protect your baby! WHAT IT IS: HearthSoft® INVENTED BY: Gina Maguire
The HearthSoft® is a made-to-measure hearth cover combining the ultimate in child safety features with the pizazz and comfort of finely upholstered home furnishings. Safe and chic—together at last. Choose from an array of fabrics and colors. JambooCreations.com; (877) JAMBOO-4
bibs that cover your baby in all the right places
WHAT IT IS: Burpa Collar™ & Burpa Bib™ INVENTED BY: Riche Holmes Grant, BambiniWare™
The Burpa Collar™ is a smart little bib that protects your baby’s neck from milk dribble, drool and more. The Burpa Bib™ is a stylish all-in-one bib + burp cloth that grows with baby into toddlerhood. Both are reversible and feature three absorbent layers. Made in the USA. BambiniWare.com
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moms in motion Social media has shined a spotlight on moms-to-be doing intense workouts like CrossFit, surfing and SoulCycle. Should these women be considered a cautionary tale—or an inspiration? BY AMANDA PRESSNER KREUSER
GETTY IMAGES
only for advanced yogis
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ea-Ann Ellison, 35, never expected to find herself at the center of a social media firestorm. But when the Los Angeles–based mom of three logged on to her Facebook page one morning, she was stunned to find more than 5,000 comments on an image she had posted of herself lifting a barbell during her daily CrossFit workout. So why the backlash? Ellison was 32 weeks pregnant at the time—and the weight above her head looked almost as big as she was. “People wrote some very ignorant remarks, telling me that my choices were selfish and I was risking hurting my baby,” says Ellison. “They said I’d be to blame if anything happened to him.” But Ellison isn’t alone in catching heat for her fitness decisions. A few years earlier, mom-to-be Amber Miller ran the Chicago Marathon at 39 weeks pregnant—and gave birth to her daughter just hours later. Internet naysayers questioned Miller’s judgment and why she did something that seemed so extreme and self-involved at a time when she should have been focusing on her child. More recently, Kristina Olivares, an Australian surfer, raised eyebrows for riding waves through all nine months of her pregnancy.
GETTY IMAGES
“People were telling me that my choices were selfish.” While all three women delivered very healthy babies, the controversy continues over whether or not moms-to-be should keep doing high-intensity workouts right up until childbirth. Can certain rigorous exercise subject expectant women and their babies to unnecessary risks—or is it somehow actually good for us?
cool it!
It takes momsto-be longer to cool down—give yourself at least 15 minutes.
experts weigh in
It seems that the expert consensus may fly in the face of what well-meaning moms, aunts and even friends have been telling you since you shared the happy news of your pregnancy. “As long as she consults with her doctor and gets clearance, there’s no reason that a healthy woman—one who is not deemed high risk—can’t continue the same type of workout she was doing prior to getting pregnant,” says Raul Artal, MD, editor for The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists’ (ACOG) Clinical Updates in Women’s Health Care. Of course, not every type of activity is deemed safe. According to ACOG’s latest guidelines, you shouldn’t participate in contact sports like kickboxing and karate, or those activities in which you could inadvertently get hit with a ball, such as soccer or softball. You’ll also want to avoid the potentially hard falls you could take when skiing, snowboarding or horseback riding, and you should definitely skip scuba diving (it puts baby at risk for decompression sickness or even death). Artal confirms that even the popular training regimens that may seem extreme to some, like long-distance running, cross-training and indoor cycling, are safe for pregnant women to continue—but only if they’ve already been doing them regularly pre-pregnancy and they’re under the supervision of their physician. >
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A far greater issue is that many expectant mothers stop being active altogether, which can lead to excessive weight gain and gestational diabetes, both of which can negatively impact the well-being of the fetus, Artal says. “In fact, we strongly recommend that moms-to-be aim to get at least 30 minutes of physical activity five times per week.”
a myth that won’t quit
Doctors now agree that perceived exertion, a self-reported measurement of how hard you feel you’re working out, should be the benchmark used for when to slow down or stop. If you chart your exertion on a scale of 1 to 10 (where 1 means you’re barely moving and 10 is a red alert and you’re almost completely out of breath), you want to stay within the 6 to 7 range. Working out in that zone (rather than a 3 or a 4) can actually have positive effects on your pregnancy, according to research. To stay in a safe range, Pivarnik recommends making sure you can still hold a conversation during most of your workout (if not, slow down) and to stop immediately if you begin to feel weak, dizzy or in pain. It’s also essential to keep yourself well hydrated and avoid becoming overheated. That means while a prenatal yoga class is a good idea, a Bikram (hot) yoga class definitely isn’t. And when doing traditional yoga, you may have to modify your moves so you stay comfortable. If you’re exercising in a class setting, make sure the room you’re in has good airflow and you’re positioned near a door so you can make an easy exit if necessary. >
GETTY IMAGES
Somewhere along the way, you may have heard that exercise during pregnancy is only safe if you avoid letting your heart rate go above 140 beats per minute. So then how can super-active workouts like spinning, Zumba or circuit training actually be good for you? Well, it turns out that number is old news. “The 140-beats-per-minute recommendation is outdated—and it’s long since been tossed out by the medical community,” says James Pivarnik, PhD, FACSM, professor of kinesiology and epidemiology at Michigan State University. And Artal, who was among the doctors who came up with the 140-beats-per-minute guideline a few decades ago, confirms that sentiment. “Newer research has since shown that our original theory was invalid,” he says.
new exercise guidelines
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adjusting your routine
Even the most well-conditioned fitness buffs among us may need to make adjustments to our exercise routines to accommodate the changing demands on our bodies during pregnancy. These changes may include lifting lighter weights, pedaling more slowly during a spin class or running fewer miles at a reduced pace. “You don’t have to stop doing your favorite workout,” says Pivarnik, “but you need to be particularly vigilant about listening to your body and not pushing yourself to do more than what feels comfortable.” Pivarnik explains that pregnant women can be at slightly higher risk for injury because their bodies are producing higher levels of relaxin, a hormone that loosens up your ligaments and joints. While relaxin makes your body better prepared for labor, its increase also means you’re more susceptible to rolling your ankles or over-stretching your joints. “If you’re not sure how to best modify your movements,” don’t be afraid to ask your instructor to help you, says Jolie Walsh, a New York City–based SoulCycle instructor, who continued to teach and ride throughout both of her pregnancies.
focusing on the positive
Even if you’re making all the right moves to keep you and baby safe as your belly grows, you may still encounter comments from others about your exercise regimen. “There were a few people at my gym who didn’t agree with my exercise program,” says Tass Vorous, 36, who did classes like Zumba and Tabata throughout her pregnancy. “To deal with any negativity, I just focused on the support from the other expecting moms—we were almost like a tribe going through this together!” The bottom line: Doctors agree it’s critical to remain active during your pregnancy—so long as you’ve come up with a plan with your ob-gyn and follow all her instructions for keeping you and baby safe. Sticking with the workout you love may be the best way to prepare your body (and baby’s!) for the marathon of labor and delivery ahead. “After I got pregnant, my whole mind-set about working out changed,” recalls Ellison. “It wasn’t a competition anymore. It wasn’t about looking good anymore. Exercise was about staying strong and healthy so that I could be in great shape for one of the most important events of my life: helping my new baby come into the world.”
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Keep yourself motivated to move with this wristband that tracks your steps, distance and calories burned. $100, FitBit.com
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wide stripes + neutrals= chic mama
olivia wilde’ s inspiring looks After stalking the star’s maternity wardrobe, this is what we’ve learned.
wear a belt above your bump to accentuate it
CLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT: GETTY IMAGES; PR PHOTOS (3)
basic black isn’t just safe—it’s timelessly glam don’t be afraid of a slinky dress
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pregnancy
energy boosters Sorry, but you can’t order the Trenta (extra-large!) coffee while you’re expecting, but you can find other ways to get a lift. BY MEREDITH FRANCO MEYERS
The first trimester, when your body goes to work making baby, is the most exhausting.
Very few women drink six to eight glasses of water per day, and you’re supposed to have even more, since your body’s busy making baby’s amniotic fluid. (The water you drink helps constantly replenish the fluid supply.) Dehydration can also up your risk of urinary tract infections and preterm labor. Sick of plain water? Frances Largeman-Roth, registered dietician and author of Feed the Belly: The Pregnant Mom’s Healthy Eating Guide, suggests drinking coconut water, or adding mint or lemon, lime or cucumber slices to your H2O. However you like your water, the key is carrying an 8-ounce bottle with you all day and sipping from it often. >
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2 nuts
Snacking throughout the day can help keep your energy up—and nuts are convenient to carry with you. They offer protein and fiber to keep you fuller longer, plus healthy fats (including brainboosting omega-3s) and magnesium (you need 800 milligrams). Trying not to go too crazy with calories? Shell-on pistachios take longer to eat, giving your body more time to register that it’s full.
for crunchy cravings 3 mangoes
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Most pregnant women are mildly anemic (which equals tired), especially during the final stages of pregnancy, when the body is prepping for birth and producing a ton of extra blood. Your lifesaver? Mangoes, says Largeman-Roth. “The natural fruit sugars in mangoes lift energy levels. Plus, fresh mango is an excellent source of folate, which can help prevent birth defects.” Mango also has vitamin C, which helps your body absorb the energy-boosting effects of iron-rich foods, like lean red meat and beans. >
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4 spinach
Did we mention spinach? Here’s another example of an iron-rich food. One cup of boiled spinach offers 6.4 milligrams of iron. Keep a bag of it on hand for salads and sautés, and even sneak it into your Sunday lasagna. Note that while spinach is high in iron for a veggie, you need a whopping total of 27 milligrams of iron each day during pregnancy. So keep taking your prenatal vitamin too.
Energy dips around the six-month mark, this time from not sleeping well.
mashed or baked—yum! Here’s another food to help you reach your iron quota—one medium sweet potato offers 0.8 milligrams. The vitamin C and copper assist in its absorption too. Bonus: Your body uses a sweet potato’s betacarotene to make vitamin A, which helps baby’s eye, bone and skin development. (If you’re eating well and still feel ridiculously sluggish, see your OB, who may want to test for anemia or check your thyroid.)
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Make your daily meal plan at TheBump.com/nutrition
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symptoms you should
never ignore
News flash: There are a lot of changes going on right now. And some pretty weird things might happen—some are normal; others you should call your doctor about. BY ELENA DONOVAN MAUER PHOTOGRAPHY BY KT MERRY
If you spot or bleed (down there), you’ll probably freak out a little bit—but there are times when a tinge of blood is no big deal, say if you had sex recently, in which case you might have just irritated your cervix a bit (it’s more sensitive while you’re pregnant). Of course, bleeding can be a sign of something very serious—like a miscarriage or a problem with the placenta such as a placental abruption or placenta previa—so any time you do bleed, notify your ob-gyn or midwife just in case.
pain in the belly
Some aches and pains are to be expected (obviously!). After all, baby’s getting bigger by the day, and your muscles >
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and ligaments are stretching—that can cause discomfort called round ligament pain, which isn’t worrisome. But if pain is severe, constant or if there’s bleeding or other symptoms, call. It could be a miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy or a cyst.
looking puffy
Granted, gaining four pounds a month is going to leave you looking fuller, but pay particular attention to your face and hands or severe and sudden swelling in your ankles and feet. This could be a sign of preeclampsia, also known as pregnancyinduced hypertension. It happens in about 5 to 10 percent of pregnancies. It’s serious, since it can affect the placenta, as well as your kidneys, liver and brain. Call your doctor so he can give you an exam and test your blood and urine.
a shocker at the scale
You’re supposed to gain around 25 to 35 pounds if you have an average starting weight, but if you put on more than two pounds in a week, that could be another sign of preeclampsia.
itching and itching and itching
Your skin could be itchy simply because it’s dry and stretched, or you could get a nasty rash called PUPPP, which is irritating but not harmful. But, if you have allover or severe itching, talk to your OB. She may have to do a special test to rule out cholestasis of pregnancy—a liver disorder that can cause preterm labor and stillbirth.
spiking temperature
If you get a fever that lasts longer than 24 to 36 hours, see the doctor, so you can be diagnosed and treated quickly. There are a whole host of viruses that could be causing it, including a simple cold or flu, which aren’t usually a big deal, or something more serious, like cytomegalovirus or toxoplasmosis, which pose risks to baby if they’re left untreated.
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hey, what happened to the kicks?
If baby’s movements are pretty regular, that’s reassurance that everything’s A-OK, but if you notice a change in his kicking patterns, it’s worth the trip to the doctor’s office to check on his well-being.
“If you notice a change in baby’s kicking pattern, it’s always worth a trip to the doctor to check on him.” more than just a backache
Got pain in your back that just doesn’t quit? Your doctor should check to make sure any lingering backache is just normal pregnancy pain and not a sign of a kidney or bladder infection, cyst, miscarriage or preterm labor, since it might be pretty difficult to tell the difference yourself.
seeing blurry
If you stood up too fast, you could just be experiencing some normal pregnancy dizziness. But blurry vision that’s persistent or comes along with other symptoms, such as swelling, abdominal pain, headache or rapid weight gain, could be a sign of preeclampsia or gestational diabetes, both of which require medical treatment.
a gush of fluid—it’s go time!
This isn’t your average pregnancy discharge. Feeling constantly wet down there or having a trickle (or gush!) of fluid can mean that your water has broken. If that’s the case and you’re not in labor yet, you’re likely to be within 24 hours. Either way, it’s important that your doctor knows ASAP!
Check your symptoms at TheBump.com/symptoms
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foreskin should stay “Circumcision is unnecessary, risky, traumatic and harmful. Also, all of the health reasons for getting one have been debunked. As far as urinary tract infection prevention, we live in an age of antibiotics. Circumcision is painful, and the emotional trauma is stored deep in the brain. Severe bleeding can occur, and every year babies actually die from the procedure. The foreskin has an incredible number of pleasurable sensations that anyone who’s lost it will never get to experience. Plus, there are chronic complications that might appear later, like erectile dysfunction for one. Many people feel that it violates human rights.” MARK D. REISS, MD
circumcision?
it’s helpful to snip “Circumcision is a very valuable preventive measure with medical benefits. A male who’s uncircumcised has 10 times the risk of contracting a severe urinary tract infection during the first year of his life. These are potentially fatal kidney infections accompanied by high fevers and bloodstream infections. Sure, you can give antibiotics, but usually, evidence of scarring remains. Two to three percent of uncircumcised boys will have an infection in the first three or four years. They are also three times more likely to get HPV, which causes penile and cervical cancer. In fact, nearly 100 percent of penile cancer cases are in uncircumcised men.” EDGAR SCHOEN, MD
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fashion checklist
A mix of wardrobe staples and maternity pieces will get you through all nine months.
you have JEANS You should still fit into your roomiest pair for the first couple of months.
MATERNITY JEANS A dark wash (with a stretch panel) will work for day or night.
BLAZER Button up to hide your growing bump, or wear it open to let your belly breathe.
WRAP DRESS Adjust the dress to fit a fluctuating waistline pre- and postbaby.
TANK TOP You can rely on that stretchy shirt in your closet until the day you pop.
Cover up unbuttoned pants with extra-long styles.
T-SHIRT Slide by in a largersize shirt from your own stash for the first few months.
MATERNITY T-SHIRT Show off your great new cleavage with a V-neck style.
CARDIGAN Be ready for unexpected hot flashes. A basic button-up is easy-on, easy-off.
Get a neutral hue, like black, that you can dress up or down.
SKIRT Turn to a pencil skirt for a slimming style even when you start feeling bigger.
MATERNITY SKIRT Highlight your thinnest assets (your legs!) with a short hemline.
LITTLE BLACK DRESS A style with an Empire waist won’t restrict your growing bump.
BIG BLACK DRESS Take the maternity route and your dress won’t ride up in front.
HUSBAND’S T-SHIRT Steal one of his XL tees for some relief in the final stretch.
Don’t reveal any seams with your snug tanks and tees.
BLACK PANTS A side zip is easy to leave open unnoticeably.
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you need
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MATERNITY TANK TOP
MATERNITY CARDIGAN
UNDER-BELLY BLACK PANTS
MATERNITY BLACK PANTS
Hide your belly and keep pants up with a wide panel.
Find fashion secrets at TheBump.com/fashion
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glow An outtie belly button, midnight snacks, orgasms and more…
Why don’t I have the “pregnancy glow” everyone talks about? My skin actually looks awful. What’s the deal? Sorry, but the truth is shiny might be more like it; here’s why, according to Kenneth Mark, MD, board certified dermatologist, clinical assistant professor of dermatology at New York University. shine Blame it on hormones pushing your glands into overdrive. Specifically, an increase in progesterone levels is to blame for a super-shiny complexion. HOW TO FIX IT Wash with a mild cleanser. Avoid using harsh soaps or chemicals, and don’t wash more than twice a day, which can actually backfire and create more oil. pimples Your sebaceous glands are working overtime now—especially in those first three months when progesterone and estrogen levels are on the rise. HOW TO FIX IT The good news: Acne usually clears up on its own eventually. In the meantime, just use a mild cleanser and ask your doctor about topical treatments. redness If your once-attractive blush has veered off into blotchy, red-faced territory, the culprits are your hormones (again) and a blood flow increase of up to 50 percent. HOW TO FIX IT Avoid hot, spicy foods— they’ll just up your circulation even more. Slather on antioxidant cream rich in ingredients like green tea, vitamin C and vitamin E.
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What’s the deal with eating carbs during pregnancy? Should I? Which ones? Pregnancy is not the time to go low-carb. Carbohydrates give you energy and can be an important source of fiber and other nutrients. About half your calories should come from carbs during pregnancy. But all carbs are not created equal. Simple carbs are quickly converted to sugar in the body. They provide a quick burst of energy, with not much in the way of sticking power, says Debra Goldman, MD, an ob-gyn at Women & Infants Hospital of Rhode Island. To avoid simple carbs, stay away from processed and refined foods, since they contain more of them—and they offer less nutrition. This includes white bread, white rice, chips and candy. Instead, choose complex carbs, which include whole-grains such as oatmeal, legumes such as dried beans, and starchy vegetables. They take longer to break down in the body, providing energy over time. They also have fiber. Pregnant women should eat 9 to 11 servings of carbohydrates per day. (Before you go nuts, know that a serving size of carbs is smaller than you probably think: 1/3 cup of rice counts as a serving. So does 1/2 of an English muffin or 1 ounce of cereal.) Aim for about half of your carb intake to come from whole grains.
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(
Instead, stock up on lean proteinMy belly button was an innie. Now it’s rich snacks. “Protein takes a little longer an outtie! Why? to metabolize; it stays around awhile so “The common joke is that your belly button you’re not as likely to get hungry as quickly is your turkey timer; it pops out when afterwards,” Kasper says. In other words, it’s time to have baby,” says Kelly eating a protein-rich midnight snack Kasper, MD, ob-gyn and associate clinical will help you make it until morning. Lowprofessor at the Indiana University School fat yogurt, trail mix, nuts and of Medicine. But really, your string cheese are good bets. belly button has turned inside Other healthy options include out simply because baby’s whole-wheat toast with getting pretty big. My belly got As baby and your belly super-hard after peanut butter, low-fat cheese with crackers or half a turkey grow, the muscles of your an orgasm. sandwich served on wholeabdomen stretch. The belly Should I worry? wheat bread. button area doesn’t have No, your uterus much muscle over it, so when has always I’m overweight. How can I your uterus begins to push contracted when find a doctor with experience against it from the inside, it easily gets pushed outward, you orgasm. Now seeing patients like me? Start with recommendations Kasper says. it’s a lot bigger from friends or family Miss your old innie? Good so you notice it members. Scan your health news: Your belly button more. This won’t insurance book or website should return to normal within hurt baby, and to see which doctors are a few months of giving birth. is normal unless covered by your plan. Then it’s severe, lasts schedule an appointment to I keep waking up in the more than a few meet and get a feel for their middle of the night hungry! minutes, or comes personality and practice. What should I snack on? with bright During the interview, ask Something tasty! Seriously, about their experience and there’s no need to force down red bleeding. approach to caring for plus-size snacks you hate; otherwise, pregnant women. “Ask the what’s the point of getting ob-gyn if they’re comfortable out of bed? But that doesn’t with managing plus-size women, mean you have free rein to eat anything and whether the facility they’re using and everything you’re craving. High-fat, is equipped for it,” Goldman says. “You high-salt, high-sugar and highly processed want a provider who knows how to foods aren’t good for anyone, and such identify, reduce and manage the risk that empty calories make it extremely easy for a can come with a plus-size pregnancy.” pregnant woman to gain extra weight without actually getting enough nutrition for her You also want someone who treats you with respect and makes you feel and baby (one to two pounds per week comfortable and positive. in the second and third trimesters is ideal).
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Look your best with tips at TheBump.com/glow
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nest
cool and collected
See how Christine Schmidt of Yellow Owl Workshop created a worldly and one-of-a kind room for baby Emilia. BY ELENA DONOVAN MAUER PHOTOGRAPHY BY THAYER ALLYSON GOWDY >
a souvenir from japan is a playful touch
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nest
handmade with love
As a designer of printed goods, it was only natural for Schmidt to make items herself, including the twig-and-felt mobile. Mixing new things—a Jenny Lind crib—with sentimental pieces, like a rocking horse made by an uncle, gives the room a collected look. >
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nest
pulling it all together
Schmidt shied away from theme and gender specificity so her daughter could make the room her own. When pieces don’t match, repeat an element throughout, she says. “Bright red ties the room together. I use that color all the time—I just can’t help it.”
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Get more nursery inspiration at TheBump.com/nursery
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what to
register for
Pulling together a well-stocked nursery starts with registering for all the essentials. Use this list as your guide. PHOTOGRAPH BY LAURE JOLIET
PHOTO CREDIT
art from animalprintshop.com
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nursery
bath
medicine cabinet
Crib, cradle or bassinet
Baby bathtub
Baby lotion
Crib mattress
Baby soap/shampoo
Baby nail clippers
2–3 waterproof crib mattress pads
2–4 soft towels or hooded baby towels
2–3 fitted crib sheets
Baby hairbrush
Cotton balls (don’t use swabs to clean baby’s nose or ears)
4–6 soft, light receiving blankets
2–4 soft washcloths
1–2 heavier blankets
feeding
Bulb syringe/nasal aspirator
Rocking or arm chair
2–3 nursing bras
Medicine dropper
Sound machine or stereo to play music
Nursing pads
Crib mobile with blackand-white images
Nursing pillow
Petroleum jelly and sterile gauze (for circumcision care)
Baby monitor Night-light Dresser Toy basket Swing or bouncy chair
changing Changing table or cushioned changing pad for low dresser or bureau Changing table pad 2–3 changing table pad covers
PHOTO CREDIT
Diaper cream
Nipple cream Breast pump (even if you only plan to nurse, a pump will allow you to leave milk for baby if you want or need to separate)
watch the q-tips!
Infant acetaminophen (Tylenol) Saline nasal drops Baby gas drops Hand soap (for you)
Milk storage bags 10–16 BPA-free, 4-oz. bottles and nipples Bottle brush Dishwasher basket for small items 4–8 bibs 6–8 burp cloths (or cloth diapers) 2–4 pacifiers
10–12 soft washcloths (for wiping) or unscented baby wipes
High chair
Diaper wipe warmer
4–6 undershirts
One dozen cloth diapers and 6–8 diaper covers, or 2–3 large boxes of disposable newbornsize diapers
4–6 long-sleeve onesies
Diaper pail or trash can
Baby thermometer
clothing 4–6 footed outfits 4–6 sleep sacks or swaddle wraps Infant hats
s ta y sa f e
Skip the cr ib bumpers. They pose a suff ocation risk.
travel Infant or convertible car seat Stroller (reclining to almost flat for an infant) Umbrella stroller Diaper bag Portable changing pad Baby carrier/sling
No-scratch mittens
Create your ultimate list at TheBump.com/registry
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Stay in the know with our up-to-theminute recall updates at Blog. TheBump.com. Sign up for recall emails at TheBump.com/ updates.
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subway
smarts
Taking baby for a ride underground? Know which Manhattan stations are stroller friendly. BY ELENA DONOVAN MAUER
ti p
icap Use hand t n , doors o s! turnstile
West 4th Street A
C
E
F
M
Elevator: Northeast corner of West 3rd Street and Sixth Avenue.
14th Street A
C
E
Elevator: Northwest corner of 14th Street and Eighth Avenue.
Grand Central42nd Street
Bowling Green 4
5
BroadwayLafayette/ Bleecker Street
Canal Street
6
B
F
M
14th StreetUnion Square L
N
Q
R
4
5
6
Elevator: Uptown platform: at northeast corner and northwest corner of Canal Street and Lafayette Street. Sorry, no station booth on the downtown platform.
34th StreetHerald Square B
D
F
M
N
Q
4
5
6
Elevator: East of City Hall near Chambers Street and Centre Street.
R
1
2
3
Elevator: Northwest corner of Hudson and Chambers Streets.
34th StreetPenn Station 1
2
3
Elevator: Northeast corner of 14th Street and Park Avenue South.
Elevator: Herald Center building on west side of Broadway, south of 34th Street.
Elevator: South side of 34th Street, west of Seventh Avenue at LIRR entrance.
Times Square42nd Street
42nd StreetPort Authority Bus Terminal
34th StreetPenn Station
Q
7
S
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D
Brooklyn BridgeCity Hall
Chambers Street
6
Elevator: North side of Houston Street between Lafayette and Crosby Streets.
N
6
5
Elevator: Southbound only, on the southwest corner of Dey Street and Broadway.
7
5
4
Elevator: Northeast corner of Broadway and Battery Place.
Elevator: Inside main entrance, to right of Grand Central (42nd Street between Park and Lexington avenues). It goes to the mezzanine level.
4
Fulton Street
R
1
2
3
Elevator: Southeast corner of Seventh Avenue and 42nd Street. Passageway to A, C, E and the bus terminal isn't stroller friendly.
A
C
E
Elevator: Inside bus terminal's north wing.
A
C
E
Elevator: Southeast corner of 34th Street and Eighth Avenue to uptown local C, E.
thebump.com
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47th-50thRockefeller Center B
D
F
M
Elevator: Northwest corner of 6th Avenue and 49th Street.
66th StreetLincoln Center 1
2
Elevators: Southwest corner of 66th and Broadway (downtown) and southeast corner of 66th and Broadway (uptown).
72nd Street 1
2
3
49th Street N
Q
R
50th Street C
51st Street 6
E
Elevator: Northeast corner of 49th Street and Seventh Avenue (accessible northbound only).
Elevator: North side of 49th Street west of Eighth Avenue (accessible southbound only).
Elevator: Northeast corner of 52nd Street and Lexington Avenue.
Lexington Avenue-63rd Street
59th StreetColumbus Circle
Lexington Avenue/ 53rd Street
F
A
C
D
1
E
M
Elevator: North of 63rd Street, west of Lexington Avenue. (Elevator service will be restored in February 2015.)
Elevator: At Columbus Circle and Central Park West.
Elevator: Northeast corner of 52nd Street and Lexington Avenue. Take passageway to elevator for platform.
96th Street
125th Street
125th Street
1
2
3
A
B
C
D
4
5
6
Elevator: Inside station house on north side of 72nd Street between Broadway and Amsterdam Avenue.
Elevators: Inside the station house on Broadway; entrances on south side of 96th Street and north side of 95th Street.
Elevator: On southwest corner of 125th Street and Saint Nicholas Avenue.
Elevator: Northeast corner of 125th Street and Lexington Avenue.
Dyckman Street
175th Street
168th Street
135th Street
1
Elevator: Southwest corner of Hillside Avenue and Saint Nicholas Avenue.
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A
A
Elevator: Northeast corner of 177th Street and Fort Washington Avenue.
thebump.com
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C
Elevator: Southeast corner of 168th Street and Saint Nicholas Avenue.
2
3
Elevators: Northbound? Northeast corner of 135th and Lenox. Southbound? There's one at the southwest corner.
Find your perfect stroller at TheBump.com/stroller
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no babies in bed “There are a lot more SIDS risk factors that occur during bed sharing. Babies who sleep share with parents who smoke have a very high risk of death. There’s also overheating—the more bodies in a bed, the warmer it gets. Or, there’s suffocation—it can happen because of bedding or a parent or sibling could roll onto baby. Entrapment between the mattress and the bed frame or wall is another risk. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends a different form of co-sleeping: putting the crib or bassinet next to the bed. Study after study has shown that the safest place for baby is in the parents’ room, on a different sleep surface.” RACHEL MOON, MD
co-sleeping?
make room for more “Yes, there’s evidence that SIDS and suffocation can happen during co-sleeping, but there’s a simple remedy—put baby on a hard pillow, raise him up, and you can’t roll onto him. These problems are so rare and tend to happen when a parent is obese or has alcohol problems. And actually, there is research that shows sleeping next to an adult helps babies breathe better. When you’re co-sleeping, you can respond to crying immediately. You don’t have to wake up —you can feed and do all sorts of things while you’re half asleep. When a parent responds slowly, baby’s brain releases stress hormones. With co-sleeping, you and baby will both sleep better. You’re less tired, less cranky and better at interacting with baby during the day.” MICHAEL LAMPORT COMMONS, PHD
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Head off sleep issues at TheBump.com/sleep
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b abyproofing guide Prep your pad room-by-room with our ultimate safety checklist. general safety Install a UL-certified carbon monoxide detector on every story of your house if you use gas or oil appliances or have an attached garage. Check the batteries of any detectors you already have.
Cut any looped blind or curtain cords and install safety tassels and cord stops.
Do the above routine for smoke detectors.
Check house and yard for poisonous plants, and move out of baby’s reach.
Purchase a fire extinguisher, learn how to use it, and put it somewhere easy to find. Stock your medicine cabinet or first-aid kit. Post emergency numbers next to landline phones, and program them into your cell. Install a temperature guard on your water heater, set at a maximum of 120° F. Get any flaking or peeling paint sealed or removed by a professional, especially if your home was built before 1978. (Dust from lead paint, which was banned from residential use that year, can be harmful if ingested.)
Always unplug and store your electric appliances not in use (iron, flatiron, etc).
Place baby wipes and supplies within your reach from the changing table, but out of baby’s. Put a thick rug below the changing table. Position the crib away from windows, heaters, lamps, wall décor and cords. Set all pillows, stuffed animals and thick blankets out of the crib and away from baby’s reach. If you plan to hook a high chair to your kitchen table, check that the table is sturdy and strong.
room-by-room
car
Put nonslip pads under all rugs.
Install an approved rear-facing car seat in the backseat.
Cover all sharp furniture edges and corners with safety padding.
Put hanging shades on the back windows to block the rays.
Block all open outlets with furniture or use safety plugs. Close and latch any drawers, doors or cupboards within baby’s reach.
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See our safety gear picks at TheBump.com/safetygear
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Modern nursery design, repurposing baby furniture, saving for college and more…
How can I make the nursery modern yet still appropriate for baby? Zero in on furniture, colors and accents that echo your home’s clean, sleek aesthetic, then add a touch of whimsy, says Shalena Smith, of Shalena Smith Interiors and founder of GaGa Designs. Color is one way to play with that idea. Pair an on-trend power neutral, like gray, taupe or white, with a punchy color, like hot pink, turquoise or yellow. “It makes the space feel more fun and kid friendly, and you can update it easily too,” Smith says. “Bring in the color with a throw blanket, bed skirt, pillows—things that are less expensive and labor intensive to switch out. Or, invest in good quality window treatments.” Choose artwork that ties in with the room’s accent colors and theme, if there is one. Smith suggests personalized pieces, like family photos blown up on canvases. Don’t feel like wall art needs to be “babyish.” Abstract art makes baby’s room chic and adds high design. Light fixtures can also lend a stylish touch. That could mean anything from an ornate, sparkly chandelier to simple pendants or all-wood fixtures. And don’t forget about the floors. If yours are hardwood, choose a bright area rug to punch up yet soften the space.
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How can I repurpose baby’s furniture after he outgrows it? Pick pieces with longevity from the get-go. Here’s how to repurpose, recycle and reuse some nursery MVPs. CRIB Consider a model that converts into a toddler bed (bonus points if it also turns into a twin bed) to use for the long haul. DRESSER If space allows, invest in a model that has at least three adult-size drawers. This will give you plenty of room for stashing clothes, diapers and doodads. Use the top of the dresser now as a changing station— just attach and secure a pad. Once baby is potty trained, remove the pad and hang a mirror or a few shelves above it. BOOKSHELF Buy a unit that has a couple of drawers at the bottom. That’s because as kids grow older (and more hell-bent on wreaking havoc on your organization system), it’s easy to hide potential eyesores. ARMOIRE A nice compromise between a dresser and bookshelf, an armoire has space for hanging clothes, folded clothes, diapers and toys. And the armoire’s doors will hide any messes inside. Give the piece a coat of chalkboard paint to let it double as a cool place to scribble. GLIDER Choose one that’s easy to reupholster or use a slipcover to match another room. When you’re done with midnight feedings, it will probably end up elsewhere. >
thebump.com
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(
Is it true I can get a free breast pump I’ve seen parents pushing shopping carts with car seats on top of them. Is that safe? through my health insurance? Yes, you may be able to—it depends on Nope. Because we see other parents with your plan. Part of the Affordable Care their babies’ car seats perched on shopping Act, the health insurance reform legislation carts, we think it’s okay, but it’s actually that went into effect August 1, 2012, more dangerous than you probably think. is meant to give people better access Shopping carts can tip over easily—and to preventive care, and that they’re more likely to if there’s a includes helping pregnant car seat mounted on them, women and new moms pay for says Debra Holtzman, author What is a 529 lactation support, counseling of The Safe Baby. “The cart has savings plan? and breastfeeding equipment. a narrow wheel base in relation It’s a plan So now, many health insurance to its height, so the center of operated by plans cover the cost of a gravity is affected when you the state or an breast pump (hooray!). put a child in it,” she says. How to get one: “When the car seat is on top educational of it, the center of gravity is CHECK YOUR PLAN First, call your institution to affected even more, increasing health insurance company help parents put the chances of tipping.” and ask what’s covered and away money for Adding groceries and other what you need to do to get it. a child’s college swag to your cart makes it It could be completely free tuition with tax even more unstable. “If the or come with a co-pay. advantages. car seat flips, your child will FIND AN IN-NETWORK PROVIDER There are several be trapped,” says Tom Patire, Your breast pump may be types of plans safety expert and author of covered only if you buy it available, so talk the Personal Protection Handin the right place, so make book. Instead of mounting sure you get the list from to a financial the car seat on the shopping your insurance carrier of its advisor to see cart, choose an alternative: in-network providers. There which might be may be some paperwork DO TAG-TEAM SHOPPING Let right for you. you need to fill out too. your partner take care of baby while you do the shopping, PICK A GOOD PUMP A doubleor vice versa. Or bring along a electric pump is a must-have friend who can hold baby (or push him in for a working mom who plans to breastfeed. a stroller) while you use the cart. See page 148 for our recommendations. USE A BABY CARRIER OR SLING Baby is much PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE After baby more stable strapped to your body than he is born, practice using your breast pump, would be perched on a shopping cart. and save up some extra breast milk before your first day back to work. Knowing you TAKE SHORTER, MORE FREQUENT TRIPS Get have a freezer stocked with breast milk just what you need for the next day or to give to baby’s caregiver will make the two. You’ll likely have enough room to tote transition less stressful. everything in the stroller basket.
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Check out baby gear buying guides at TheBump.com/gear
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10/31/14 11:09 AM
delivery
first-time coach? you’ve got this in the bag!
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lessons for a labor coach
Hand this advice (courtesy of a dad who’s learned a few things) to your partner. Tell him he can thank us later! BY ADRIAN KULP PHOTOGRAPHY BY KT MERRY
When it was my turn to coach my wife through the birth of our first, I wish I’d been better prepared. Case in point: As I rode the hospital elevator with another expectant dad, he asked me if I knew about “the bathing suit thing.” What!? (More on that below.) Since I’ve been down that road three times now, allow me to share my experiences with you, along with some advice from the experts.
you’ve got to make a plan
And I’m not talking about an escape plan! (It’s too late for that.) Before labor, sit down with your partner to map out how you want delivery day to go. To get started, research different hospitals, consult a doula or take a childbirth class together. Discuss what will make her feel positive and negative during a vulnerable time, says Latham Thomas, a doula and founder of MamaGlow.com. She recommends positive affirmations and guided imagery to help calm mom in the delivery room.
you should pack a few surprises
She’s giving you a child, the least you could do is give her a couple of lollipops, right!? You’ll win major points if you show up with some unexpected extras to comfort her, like her favorite music, some bottled water, mints or hard candies to alleviate dry mouth, and some lip balm. You have no idea how dry her lips and mouth can get during labor, Thomas says. Plus, the more prepared you are, the more relaxed everyone will be. >
New York Metro thebump.com
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delivery
Huh? As I mentioned, this one caught me off guard. Why? Am I headed to the hot tub with the nurses clocking out from the day shift? Nope, sorry. Even if you’re not planning on a water birth, there may actually be a time during the rigors of early labor when water therapy could be used to alleviate some of the pain and stress on mom. Many hospitals have a tub or whirlpool available in the maternity ward (the shower can be used too), and it’s not uncommon for a coach to jump in (no cannonballs, please!) and offer some physical and emotional support.
you’re going to have to get into position
Wait, isn’t that what got us into this mess to begin with? But seriously, delivery isn’t just exhausting for her; coaching can be labor-intensive for you too. As a coach, it’s important to help the process progress as much as possible, says Christina Sebestyen, MD, a physician and owner of OBGYN North in Austin, Texas. Part of that includes suggesting that your partner switch positions when she seems to be “hitting a wall.” Changing positions can bring some relief and rejuvenate her mental state, Sebestyen says. So prepare to bend or squat behind her or even squeeze into the bed with her—whatever you need to do to help support and comfort her while she’s experiencing pain.
you’re allowed to take a break
I’m not going to lie, seeing your partner in pain can be tough to take, and it’ll be even tougher to leave her side. But as much as you need to focus on her, you also have to take care of yourself. An exhausted, nauseated or panicked coach won’t do mom any good. A lot goes on during labor, and you could be in it for the long haul. To start, bring a few changes of comfortable clothes and your toiletry kit (or in my case, a gallon-size zip-top bag with my toothbrush and random bathroom gear). If you need to step away for a break—whether it’s to grab coffee or to collect yourself if you get queasy—don’t feel bad. Just have a pinch hitter on standby, like her mom or sister, to relieve you for a bit.
you might have to skip taco tuesday
“Please, please, no eating in the labor or delivery room,” is a common refrain dads hear. This one drives doctors crazy— you can’t imagine what people do. In fact, Sebestyen once found some family members sitting around eating take-out while the mom-to-be was mid-contraction. General Tso’s chicken with a side of grunting and screaming? Not a good idea. Instead, you want to help create a serene environment throughout the entire process. You never know when a certain smell, sound or action could upset your partner. Translation: Go eat in the lounge! >
4 signs of labor BLOODY DISCHARGE
Sometimes called the “bloody show,” it occurs when labor is anywhere from a few minutes to hours away.
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LOSS OF THE MUCUS PLUG
This mucus-like membrane could come off all at once or little by little, like a thick discharge.
BROKEN WATER
When your water breaks, it might feel more like a trickle as opposed to a gush. Either way, call the doctor.
REGULAR CONTRACTIONS
If they’re coming five minutes apart and are centered in the pelvic area, it’s probably time!
STYLING: ANNIE CAVALLO FOR ENNIS INC; HAIR AND MAKEUP: SUSAN DONOGHUE FOR ENNIS INC
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delivery
you’ll want to watch your p’s & q’s
Unless you want to get slapped across the face with a bag full of IV fluid, try to keep your complaining in check. Avoid any negative triggers, warns Linda Perry, a home birth midwife, who has been working with families for 23 years at Complete Woman Midwifery. I’m fairly certain these triggers could be physical actions—for instance, breathing through my mouth or cleaning my teeth with my tongue—but verbal too. Inappropriate banter includes: “Hon, how long do you think we’ll be here?” and “This stupid hospital guest chair is uncomfortable; it’s kind of digging into my back a little.” Seriously? Nothing you’re going through is anywhere near as bad as her situation, so suck it up and repeat after me: “This day is all about her!”
you’ve got to keep your head in the game
No matter how much you’ve planned in advance, you never know what might happen next in this whole crazy process. Regardless of whether or not labor and delivery takes two hours or turns into a 48-hour marathon, or if this is your first child or even your fifth, you’ll want to be prepared for the unexpected. The birth plan you come up with beforehand may all work out, but there’s a chance it will fall by the wayside, and if so, you’ll need to go with the flow. Get a good night’s rest during the weeks leading up to the due date, so you can be as present as possible for whatever may get thrown your way. Your job is to help maintain some semblance of peace and calm during the height of the storm, Thomas says.
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you need to be an advocate for your partner
There may be times throughout labor when mom won’t be in the best frame of mind to ask for what she wants or needs. Instead of constantly repeating questions like “How are you doing?” try taking a more proactive approach. Go down the hall and get her a cup of ice chips, find a pillow or a sock full of tennis balls that she might want to put behind her back, or call a nurse to come adjust the pain medication if she’s using it. Oh, and don’t be afraid to speak up if the doctors and staff aren’t following the plan you and your wife discussed. There may be a good reason why they’re veering from the original instructions, but you won’t know unless you remind them of what you want.
Find more daddy must-reads at TheBump.com/dads
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delivery
my birth
story
New York mom Deb Flashenberg (who’s also a doula!) shares the story of her second baby’s home birth.
round two
a family affair
On the day labor started, our nanny arrived at 1:30 p.m. to take care of Shay. I was grateful for a little time to myself. I don’t like having a lot of people fussing over me. By the time my husband, Joey, got home at 2:30 p.m., my contractions were six minutes apart. My son woke up from a nap around 4 p.m. I was nervous about him seeing me in labor, but he was far more interested in the birthing ball pump! Our nanny ushered him out and labor progressed.
waterworks
My contractions were soon two minutes apart, and I managed them by moving into different positions and saying mantras. By 6 p.m., my doula, Terry, and my midwife, Stacey, felt I needed a change of scenery and suggested I take a shower.
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Warm water helped ease the pain. I felt as if I were “melting into labor.” I started to feel even more pelvic pressure and could even sense my pelvic bones spreading as my baby continued to descend. I stayed in the shower for a half hour. I was tempted to ask Stacey to break my water to move things along, but I decided not to. I made it back to my room and felt something coming out! It was my bag of water, and it was still intact. Suddenly, the water broke, and I instinctively started to push.
welcome baby!
Before I knew what was happening, baby’s head was out and she let out a cry—before she was even out all the way! My midwife couldn’t get the cord over her head, so she had to use a “somersault” technique to get her out. One more push and at 6:40 p.m., she was born and placed into my arms.
the 411 BABY’S NAME Sage Katherine SIZE AT BIRTH 7 lbs., 21 in. BIRTH PLACE At home DELIVERY MUST-HAVE Hot shower THINKSTOCK
My first labor with my son, Shay, was 42 hours long, and I felt slightly traumatized by the experience. I was determined to do things differently this time. I changed my exercise routine and visited a prenatal chiropractor each week to make sure my pelvis was well aligned. I wanted things to go quickly with baby number two.
Prep yourself for delivery at TheBump.com/birth
10/30/14 10:21 AM
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delivery
surprise! good things happen
during labor
Ignore those delivery horror stories (you’re bound to hear one or two). There will be some unexpectedly positive things that happen that day too.
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you get pampered
“My husband DJed (everything from Noir Désir and T. Rex to Vangelis) with some awesome iPod playlists. I sat in the hot tub, lit candles, had a mid-labor massage—the whole nine yards. Honestly, it was like being given the royal treatment.” —WHITNEY you feel empowered
“I remember shutting my eyes at some point during labor when I thought I just couldn’t take it anymore. This magical wave of fuzziness swept over me and I found so much inner strength. My baby arrived just a few minutes later.” —ANNAGRACIE
pain meds really work
“I had sciatica and other nerve pain throughout my pregnancy. When I went into labor, I opted to have an epidural, and my body took to it extremely well. I felt better than I’d felt in months!” —SHEPHERDBLUE
you bond with your partner “MY HUSBAND WAS A ROCK. HE HELD ME UP ON THE BIRTHING BALL BECAUSE I WAS SO TIRED I COULDN’T STAY UPRIGHT. WITH EVERY CONTRACTION, HE TOLD ME WHAT A WONDERFUL JOB I WAS DOING AND ENCOURAGED ME TO HOLD OFF ON PAIN MEDS FOR JUST ONE MORE. JUST ONE MORE. JUST ONE MORE!” —PAVLOVCAT
your instincts kick in “While my husband was at a conference four hours away, my water broke and I went into labor. My hopes of a natural, med-free delivery went out the window, and I went from being the most high-strung person to the calmest person ever! I think I realized I had no power to change anything, so I went into this Zen, happy place. Two of the nurses commented that I was the happiest, most relaxed patient they ever had! When my husband showed up, he was shocked at my calm demeanor too!” —WELSHGIRL12 your modesty gets tossed out the window “I’m a real estate agent, and my water broke at 12:30 p.m. while I was showing a home to a male client and his dad! I didn’t want to blurt out, ‘Hey, my water broke!’ in front of all parties, but that’s what happened!” —HARLEYKINS >
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delivery
a kind nurse may champion you
“I was surprised at what an amazing nurse I had! She was so patient and understanding. Ultimately, I ended up having an emergency c-section. My nurse stayed hours after her shift ended to meet my little guy and to congratulate me when they finally wheeled me out of the operating room.” —JOELIES birth plans get scrapped for good reason
“After my c-section, I found out that my baby had his cord wrapped around his neck three times and would not have tolerated labor. He is very healthy and I don’t know what would have happened had I tried a vaginal delivery.” —TYEDYEME12
you can make long-lasting relationships “I had a scheduled c-section (my second) and was pleasantly surprised to see that the nurse who attended my first c-section two years prior was my nurse again, and she remembered me too. It was very reassuring to have a familiar face going into the surgery with me.” —ARNOLD94 there’s a huge sense of relief at the end “The actual sensation of the baby coming out was amazing; it’s something I can’t describe. Just pure awesome.” —JULIANA
everyone seems to get over fears
“My husband hates feet, but he held my legs and then feet, and helped out like a champ when I pushed.” —KOCHY1313
there are some funny moments “HILARIOUSLY, THE ENTIRE TIME I WAS PUSHING AND WHEN THE DOCTOR CAME IN, SOUTH PARK WAS PLAYING ON THE TV IN THE ROOM. SINCE IT WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, NOTHING WAS CENSORED AND THE COMMERCIALS WERE FOR PHONE SEX LINES! THE STAFF, MY HUSBAND AND I WOULD ALL RANDOMLY BREAK OUT IN GIGGLES!” —MUKSAK
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Read other moms’ stories at TheBump.com/community
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delivery
let labor happen naturally “Under some circumstances, induction is called for and will improve the outcome for the mother and baby. But when it’s not necessary, it can have the opposite effect. A medical induction with oxytocin requires an IV and continuous electronic fetal monitoring. Overstimulation of the uterus with medication can cause fetal problems. Mom is stuck in bed, and more likely to have prolonged labor or back labor, need vacuum extraction or forceps, or have a c-section. In our hospital, for first-time moms who labor on their own, the c-section rate is 8 percent. If they’re induced, it’s 44 percent.” MICHAEL C. KLEIN, MD
labor induction?
induction has benefits “The placenta starts to age as pregnancy progresses. This isn’t to say the placenta can’t support baby at 40 weeks, but it’s less able than it was at 39 weeks. And, if there are risk factors that cause the placenta to age faster (smoking, gestational diabetes), you’ll need to get baby out earlier. There aren’t many situations where inducing labor can increase the risk of trouble, as long as your doctor is patient and mindful of cervical status. If inductions are done properly—after 38 weeks with good ripening and a longer dose of Pitocin—we wouldn’t have many problems. If women can have elective c-sections, then why not elective inductions?” JAMES M. NICHOLSON, MD
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Prep for any kind of birth at TheBump.com/delivery
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delivery
birth plan Use this checklist to prepare you (and your doctor) for labor. full name:
partner’s name:
today’s date:
due date/induction date:
doctor’s name :
hospital name:
my delivery is planned as:
during labor, I’d like:
Vaginal C-section Water birth VBAC
Music played (which I’ll provide) The lights dimmed The room to be as quiet as possible As few interruptions as possible As few vaginal exams as possible Hospital staff to be limited to my own doctor and nurses (no students, residents or interns present) To wear my own clothes To wear my contact lenses My partner to film and/or take pictures My partner to be present the entire time To stay hydrated with clear liquids and ice chips To eat and drink as approved
I’d like my present during labor. Partner Parents Children Doula Other
I’d like my present after delivery. Partner Parents Children Doula Other
for pain relief, I’d like to use: Acupressure Acupuncture Breathing techniques Cold therapy Distraction Epidural Hot therapy Hypnosis Massage Meditation Reflexology Systemic medication TENS Nothing Only what I request at the time Whatever is suggested
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as baby is delivered, I’d like to: Push spontaneously Push as directed Push with no time limits, as long as baby and I aren’t at risk Use a mirror to see baby crown Touch the head as it crowns Avoid forceps usage Avoid vacuum extraction Use whatever methods my doctor deems necessary Help catch baby Let my partner catch baby Let my partner suction baby
I’d like to hold baby: Immediately after delivery After suctioning After weighing After being wiped clean and swaddled Before eyedrops/ointment is given
Learn your birth options at TheBump.com/birth
10/30/14 10:21 AM
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delivery Stages of labor, cutting the cord, perineal massage and more…
How far apart will the contractions be? Your body will go through a few different stages before you and baby meet. EARLY LABOR In the beginning, contractions typically last about 30 to 45 seconds, with anywhere from 5 to 30 minutes of rest between them, says Robert Wool, MD, clinical instructor of obstetrics and gynecology at Tufts University. Don’t panic to get to the hospital or birthing center right away, but prepare yourself to leave, especially if your contractions are growing more intense, lasting longer, and happening closer together. ACTIVE LABOR Soon enough, contractions will last about 45 to 60 seconds, with just 3 to 5 minutes of rest between each one. They’ll feel longer and stronger. If you haven’t already, this is the time to get to your birthing center or hospital. TRANSITION PHASE During the last phase before your cervix is fully dilated, contractions usually last 60 to 90 seconds, with just 30 seconds to 2 minutes rest between each, Wool says. They’re intense and can even overlap. This can be overwhelming. URGE TO PUSH Once your cervix is dilated to 10 centimeters, contractions last about the same—45 to 90 seconds with 3 to 5 minutes of rest between—and you’ll feel a strong urge to push. Rest between them, because you’re at the home stretch!
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Is there a benefit to waiting before my partner cuts the umbilical cord? Yes! Early cord clamping—almost immediately after birth—has been the standard for decades, but a 2013 review of 15 medical studies found that delaying cord cutting improved babies’ birth weight, blood concentration and iron stores at six months of age without increasing moms’ risk of bleeding. That’s because clamping the cord immediately deprives baby of some of his normal blood volume. By delaying cord clamping, you allow baby to equilibrate, and get nourishment and oxygen from your body as he learns to take his first breaths. It can take anywhere from a minute to three minutes or so for the cord to stop pulsating, at which point it will be done delivering all that goodness to baby. Delaying cord clamping and cutting, even if just for a minute or two, may decrease the chances of baby developing iron-deficiency anemia and improve his overall health, so it’s worth requesting. What is perineal massage? Your perineum is the area of skin and tissue that separates the vagina and the anus. Some women will massage this region in the weeks leading up to delivery to make the area more supple and pliable in an effort to help reduce the need for
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cally easier to deliver than large ones, an episiotomy (a surgical incision into the Wool notes. Of course, when you’re in this area) or tearing during delivery. final stage of labor, every minute may feel There’s not a lot of research to prove that like an hour, so prepare yourself mentally this prelabor self-massage actually helps, and physically by taking childbirth classes. says Michele Hakakha, MD, an ob-gyn in That way, push comes to shove (sorry, we private practice in Beverly Hills, California. couldn’t resist), you’ll know what to expect And some doctors think it can actually and feel strong and confident. thicken the tissue rather than make it softer, so the decision The doctor told me baby is whether or not to give it a go transverse. What does that is completely up to you. What is TENS? mean exactly? When it comes time for you Transcutaneous Baby usually hangs out in to deliver baby, your doctor or Electrical Nerve a few different positions while midwife may gently massage Stimulation. A in the womb. Sometimes the perineum, helping to relax TENS unit is a she’s head down (vertex), the tissue around baby’s head portable device sometimes head up (breech), as she crowns. This can make that delivers mild and occasionally she may labor and delivery go more bursts of lowbe sideways (transverse). smoothly and help minimize voltage electricity As you near delivery, she’ll tears—especially for first-time through the skin pick a position and stay that moms—which will make your way. Luckily, very few babies recovery more comfortable. to the nerves to interrupt the flow actually stay in a transverse position because the uterus is How long will I actually have of pain signals. built to stretch up and down, to push to deliver baby? Some moms not side to side, says Melissa The “push” phase of your swear it relieves M. Goist, MD, assistant delivery depends on many labor pains professor of obstetrics and different factors, including and others say gynecology at The Ohio State what kind of shape you’re in it didn’t work University Wexner Medical (fit = shorter), how big baby is for them. Center. Plus, gravity should (large = longer) and if you’ve help baby get into place. By received an epidural (meds 36 weeks, she’ll likely descend can = longer). Some women into the head-down position. But in some push for as long as four hours straight, cases she might become breech. Delivering and some deliver baby on their second a breech baby vaginally poses some risks, push, Wool says. so if that’s the case, your doctor may There are a few more rules of thumb ask if you want to try and turn baby with that can help you estimate whether you’ll an inversion procedure to get her into a push for a little or a lot of time: In general, vertex position. If that doesn’t work, you you’ll probably push longer with your may consider having a c-section. Discuss first baby than you will with subsequent the pros and cons with your OB. deliveries. Smaller babies are quite logi-
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Learn the ins and outs of delivery at TheBump.com/delivery
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basics
vaccine fears
If you follow the recommendations, baby will get five shots (and one liquid!) by the time he’s two months old. And it’s easy to wonder whether you’re doing the right thing. BY ELENA DONOVAN MAUER
Imagine if there was something you could do so baby would never get a life-threatening infection or a virus that could paralyze him. It seems so obvious you’d do it, right? But the parents who don’t vaccinate and the parents who do worry about it on the same level. So what’s really at the heart of the debate? We know beyond certainty that “vaccinating protects babies from dire infections, stuff that causes horrible
complications,” says Cheryl Wu, MD, a pediatrician in New York City. At the same time, information on the Internet and releases by anti-vaccine groups make them seem terribly unsafe and even medically unethical for doctors to administer. THE FEAR dangerous
side effects
Why give baby something that can cause diarrhea, allergic reaction, rash or fever?
what shots to get when
The CDC’s recommended vaccine schedule for baby’s first year-and-half.
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BIRTH
1 MONTH TO 2 MONTHS
Hepatitis B (HepB)
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Hepatitis B (HepB) [2nd dose] Rotavirus Diphtheria, tetanus and acellular pertussis (DTaP)
Haemophilus influenzae type b (Hib) Pneumococcal conjugate (PCV13) Inactivated poliovirus (IPV)
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The potential side effects are less scary than your baby getting, say, diphtheria (as many as 1 in 5 kids who get it dies) or polio (it can cause lifelong paralysis). “Minor side effects are common—a sore arm, body aches, maybe a fever,” says Ari Brown, MD, a pediatrician in Austin, Texas, and author of Baby 411. “Those are a small price to pay for protection against a disease that is much, much worse to experience.”
“200 studies have said there is no link between vaccines and autism.” “Significant adverse effects are rare,” Brown adds. “For instance, the risk of having an anaphylactic reaction is about one in a million. Could it happen? Yes. No medication is risk free. But, the risk is extremely low compared to the great benefit.” Vaccines undergo rigorous testing before they come out on the market, and there are regular follow-up tests, says Michael T. Brady, MD, chair of the American Academy of Pediatrics’s (AAP) Committee on Infectious Diseases and associate medical director at Nationwide Children’s Hospital in Columbus, Ohio.
THE FEAR autism
There’s a connection between vaccines and autism, right? Nope. The AAP, CDC, World Health Organization and the Institute of Medicine are all clear on this. Vaccines do not cause autism. Autism and vaccines were first linked in a study published in medical journal The Lancet in 1998, in which 12 children were reported as exhibiting autistic behaviors soon after receiving the measles, mumps and rubella (MMR) vaccine. No one should have taken the study seriously in the first place, says Wu. “Twelve is not enough of a sample to definitively establish causation or association.” Even worse, in 2010, the study was found to have been fraudulent—the doctor who reported it intentionally altered the results—and The Lancet retracted it completely. “In the meantime, some 200 studies were conducted that have said that there is definitively no causation between MMR and autism,” Wu says. “We need to focus our attention and the research dollars to more promising leads on the cause of autism—like early brain development in the womb and prenatal and perinatal risk factors that might be prevented,” Brown says. Other variables that could have an effect on autism risk could be mom and/or dad’s age at the time of conception, premature birth and even mom’s weight before pregnancy. >
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4 MONTHS
Rotavirus [2nd dose] Diphtheria, tetanus and acellular pertussis (DTaP) [2nd dose] Haemophilus influenzae type b (Hib) [2nd dose]
6 MONTHS
Pneumococcal conjugate (PCV13) [2nd dose] Inactivated poliovirus (IPV) [2nd dose]
Hepatitis B (HepB) [3rd dose] Diphtheria, tetanus and acellular pertussis (DTaP) [3rd dose] Pneumococcal conjugate (PCV13) [3rd dose] New York Metro thebump.com
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basics
THE FEAR “the other stuff” in the shot
THE FEAR
Can’t those preservatives harm my baby? You may have heard of thimerosal, a mercury-containing preservative used only in the influenza vaccine in the US, which worries some parents. “We have good data that says thimerosal in vaccines doesn’t cause problems,” says Brady, who notes that thimerosal is used more widely in vaccines in some other countries. Several studies, including one published in Pediatrics in 2010, have deemed it safe. THE FEAR
vaccines being useless
I doubt my baby will get polio—and measles is no big deal. What’s the point? It could take something as simple as someone with one of these conditions hopping a flight to cause an outbreak here, as it did recently with travelers carrying measles to the US, says Brown.
overdoing shots
Should a two-month-old baby really be given six vaccines at one appointment? “The worry is that you’ll overload a baby’s immune system and he won’t be able to handle it. But we know that’s not the case,” says Brady. “Vaccines provide only the minimum amount of material needed to create an immune response.” Because it seems like too much at once, some parents request a modified schedule, which means delaying shots, but that’s actually a gamble. “Being on the schedule means that the vaccine has been tested for this age,” Brady says. “We have evidence that this timing is safe and effective.” With a modified schedule, baby goes longer without protection—not a good idea when there have been outbreaks of measles and whooping cough in the US in recent years. “If a two-month-old gets whooping cough, he can die,” says Brown. “There’s no benefit in waiting—only risk.”
And sure, your parents may have had measles as kids and got through it, but it can lead to pneumonia and cause brain damage, deafness and even death. It’s so contagious that baby would only need to be in the same room as someone with it to catch it. In areas with fewer vaccinated kids, infections spread more easily. “I’ve been a pediatrician for 18 years, and I’m also a mom,” says Brown. “We all want to protect our kids. I vaccinated my children on the recommended schedule. I wouldn’t do anything differently for your kids.”
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12 MONTHS
15 MONTHS TO 18 MONTHS
Haemophilus influenzae type b (Hib) [3rd dose] Pneumococcal conjugate (PCV13) [4th dose]
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Inactivated poliovirus (IPV) [3rd dose] Measles, mumps, rubella (MMR) Varicella (VAR) Hepatitis A (HepA)
Diphtheria, tetanus and acellular pertussis (DTaP) [4th dose]
Get more info on vaccines at TheBump.com/vaccines
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basics
head of the
class
Sorry, but baby won’t be arriving with a manual. Luckily these local classes will help you ace this whole parenting thing. BY ANISA ARSENAULT
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basics
get
pumped
What to do if strapping yourself to a pumping machine isn’t exactly your favorite pastime. BY JENNIFER L.W. FINK
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that it’s time-consuming You have a 10- to 20-minute appointment every couple of hours—that can’t be broken. It requires some serious planning and can get pretty annoying, and is also disruptive to your work schedule. >
YOU HATE
SHUTTERSTOCK
When you breastfeed, pumping becomes a sort of necessary evil. What is supposed to be a natural way to feed baby can feel foreign, frustrating and sometimes even painful. We’ve got solutions for the most hated parts of the pumping process.
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basics
“The women that seem to have it the worst are school teachers, nurses, flight attendants and other people that don’t normally get breaks throughout the day,” says Jennifer Ritchie, a board-certified lactation consultant and author of I Make Milk, What’s Your Superpower? HOW TO DEAL Get a really good breast pump (see our top picks below). Look for one that’s a double electric, like the Medela Pump In Style or the one from Dr. Brown’s. “These can empty 95 percent of the milk in your breast in five minutes,” Ritchie says. YOU HATE the pulling and pinching
Instead of compressing like baby, pumps use suction to remove milk from your breast, pulling your nipple and areola into funny-looking plastic devices. Translation: a whole lot of ouch!
top 4 breast pumps
HOW TO DEAL Check
your plastic breast shield—the trumpet-looking part that goes over your breast when you pump. “When you pump, your nipple should not touch any side of the breast shield,” Ritchie says. That can get pretty painful. If this is happening to you, it means you probably need to upgrade to a bigger shield size. Visit your pump’s manufacturer’s website or give them a call to see if there are larger shields available for your breast pump model. If not, it might be worth investing in a pump that offers them. Another way to alleviate some of the discomfort: Apply nipple cream (we like pure lanolin) before each pumping session to cut down on friction against the sides of the shield. >
Your health insurance may cover the cost of a pump. Call to find out for sure.
BEST FOR WORKING MOMS
Medela Pump In Style advanced This double electric pump is portable, efficient and reliable, so it’s perfect for everyday use. Splurge on the Metro Bag version, which can be taken out of the bag and packed elsewhere. $360, Medela.com for stores BEST FOR COMFORT
Dr. Brown’s double electric breast pump If you’re worried about pumping pain, this one (formerly called the Simplisse double electric pump) is for you. The pump uses compression technology, which means it doesn’t tug or pinch as much as some of the other pump models might. $260, DrBrownsBaby.com for stores
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BEST MANUAL (AND IT’S TOTALLY CHEAP!)
Lansinoh manual breast pump
Perfect if you don’t pump often, this one is hand powered, is easy to use and has two modes to help you pump more milk. (And it doesn’t make a loud whirring sound.) Best of all, you can’t beat the price tag. $35, Lansinoh.com for stores BEST HOSPITAL-GRADE
Hygeia EnDeare breast pump Sturdy and super-efficient, this pump is all-around awesome at getting the milk to flow. The price is steep, but you can rent a highend pump from many hospitals and specialty stores for about $45 per month. From $920, HygeiaInc.com
thebump.com
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the frustration You pump and pump—it takes so much time and effort—and then you look at the bottles and see that you’ve got a measly ounce or two in each one. HOW TO DEAL Turn the suction on your pump to just the right level. “In order to efficiently get the milk out, the suction has to be very high,” says Ritchie. “It usually doesn’t say that anywhere in the pump instructions. I’ve had so many moms complain about low milk supply, and then they come in and I turn their suction up and they get three times the milk. They can’t believe it.” The trick is to increase the suction speed to as high as you can without causing pain—once it starts to hurt, your body will feel stressed and shut off its letdown response. Also, give yourself a little boob massage. Using your hands to compress your milk ducts—simulating the way baby feeds— can increase the efficiency of pumping. “Squeeze the boob like a lemon, like you’re making lemonade,” Ritchie says. “You can do it anywhere on the breast. It can really help to shoot the milk out.” YOU HATE
YOU HATE all the work involved It’s hard enough to find time to pump, much less time to wash and dry all of your pumping supplies. (And who wants to wash their breast pump parts in the company kitchen? Yuck!) “When moms think about pumping, and then cleaning everything, and then having to do it all over again in a couple of hours, they get overwhelmed,” Ritchie says. HOW TO DEAL You really don’t need to wash your pump parts after every single pumping session. Cue the sigh of relief! Yep, it really is perfectly okay to pump and then stash your supplies in a clean plastic bag to use again later in the day. Think about it this way, says Ritchie: “Freshly expressed breast milk is good when sitting out on the counter without any refrigeration for up to eight hours.
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“I feel sympathy for cows now— being milked constantly.” —PAPERTHISCLIP13
One drop of breast milk contains a million white blood cells, so any milk that remains in or on your pumping equipment will defeat any bacteria that would grow there.” More tricks for making cleaning speedier: Use specialized quick clean wipes and microwave steam bags. Or throw everything in the dishwasher.
perfect timing will I run out of milk after I pump? We get where you’re coming from: You want to work in an extra pumping session while baby’s napping, but you’re worried that she’ll wake up hungry and you’ll be tapped out. Don’t stress it, says Gina Ciagne, lactation consultant for Lansinoh. “Baby is efficient at getting milk,” she says. “You will always have enough milk for her.” so what’s the ideal time to pump? Multitask: Pump on one side while baby feeds on the other, or do it before baby wakes in the morning or after she goes to bed at night. When you’re away from baby, pump every time she’d normally have a bottle. Regular stimulation keeps your body making milk.
Find all the breastfeeding answers at TheBump.com/breastfeeding
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7 ways having a baby
makes you sexier
Sure you’re handling dirty diapers by the pail-load and have breast milk stains on your shirt. But, whether or not you believe it, you’re actually hotter than ever. BY VALERIE TEJEDA
1 you’ve realized you’re powerful “Feeling sexy is about power,” says J. Maria Bermudez, PhD, a family therapist and associate professor at The University of Georgia. People in power tend to have infectious, wildly appealing charisma. And don’t you feel strong just having gone through the birth process? Heck, you created a whole (pretty amazing) human. If you can do that, you can do almost anything.
2 you’re in charge Ever heard of mama-bear syndrome? Having a defenseless little baby you’re responsible for can make you more assertive and confident. “Motherhood tends to make women less fearful and more open to all sorts of things,” says Danielle Cavallucci, coauthor of Your Orgasmic Pregnancy. You’re not shy about speaking up when the doctor’s office wait is too long, or saying “hands off” when a stranger tries to touch baby in the supermarket. Can we all agree that confidence makes someone more alluring? And there’s really no reason to be shy in the bedroom either.
3 breastfeeding = nature’s boob job For as long as you’re breastfeeding, your normally B cups may be well in D-cup territory, and anything fitted with a V-neck looks ah-mazing. Being big busted feels healthy, takes the focus off any baby weight you still want to lose and makes you feel hot in your favorite slinky slip. Not to mention the fact that your partner can’t take his eyes off your new, more voluptuous figure. >
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4 you’re in touch with your body
“Something about letting go of the muscles surrounding a woman’s vaginal floor during childbirth allows a greater release of what is, for some, a pent-up area of their sexuality,” Cavallucci says. Translation: You may feel like you’re better at working things, um, down there.
5 you’re less self-conscious
When you give birth, you pretty much have to leave all your humility at the door. You were practically naked (or maybe completely naked) in front of virtual strangers in the delivery room. Why have any inhibitions about your body now?
6 the big “o” gets better
Heard rumors of a horrible sex life after baby? That’s not always true. While science hasn’t proven it, Cavallucci says many women she’s interviewed have better, more intense orgasms during pregnancy, and that translates to great postbaby ones too. “Anything that opens you up to a more full sexual expression is going to increase your capacity for sensory pleasure,” she says.
7
you feel closer to your partner “Sometimes becoming a mother can reinvigorate a woman’s sex life by adding dimension and depth to her relationship with herself as well as her partner,” Cavallucci says. You two got through the terrifying, beautiful, emotionally draining birth together, and now that you’ve made the big leap into parent status, you’re working as a team in ways you never did before. This new bond rejuvenates your relationship and can inspire that can’t-keep-your-hands-off-each-other feeling.
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Get advice on adjusting to your new role at TheBump.com/mom
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basics
you’re on
call
Fever, diarrhea, vomiting—it’s all scary stuff when your tiny patient can’t talk and you don’t know what’s wrong. BY ELENA DONOVAN MAUER
Even though millions of people do this whole parenting thing every day, you may feel pretty inept at handling common symptoms at first. “There’s a steep learning curve,” says Cheryl Wu, MD, a pediatrician in New York City. “We’re not always around babies much before we have our own, and there’s a general anxiety that parents feel about their children’s well-being.” Use this cheat sheet to help calm some of your worries.
cold
Use natural ways to ease baby’s symptoms. “Running a humidifier can be helpful, and so can using a bulb syringe to help remove the mucus,” says Alanna Levine, MD, a pediatrician at Orangetown Pediatric Associates in Tappan, New York. “Cold and cough medicines aren’t effective or safe for babies.” WHAT OTHER MOMS DO “We get the vaporizer going, tilt the mattress, suck the snot out, use saline and do vapor baths.” –MAMABLASE1 HOW TO TREAT IT
WHEN TO CALL THE DOCTOR
If baby is working harder to breathe—for example, her belly is going in and out very fast, you can see nasal flaring or there’s pulling at the chest—make the call. If there’s a fever, see the fever section at far right.
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throwing up
Wait it out for now—if it just happens once or twice, things are probably okay. WHAT OTHER MOMS DO “My baby had a GI virus with no fever or other symptoms, so there really wasn’t much to do other than watch his hydration and snuggle him.” –JENNA D. HOW TO TREAT IT
WHEN TO CALL THE DOCTOR
Pick up the phone if baby isn’t acting right or not responding well, or if he vomits more than a few times. Also call if you see signs of dehydration, including dried lips or fewer wet diapers than normal. “Babies get dehydrated quickly,” Wu says. If baby’s puke is greenish, yellowish or has blood, or if he can’t seem to keep anything down, he’ll need to see a doctor.
cough
HOW TO TREAT IT Suction baby’s nose with the bulb syringe to get rid of any postnasal drip that could be causing the cough. Moisture from the humidifier or a running shower can thin mucus too. WHAT OTHER MOMS DO “I put Vicks BabyRub on the bottom of her feet at night. It seems weird, but it’s worked amazingly well!”
–REGINA M.
WHEN TO CALL THE DOCTOR
You’ll want to get your doctor on the line if you notice that baby is having any trouble breathing (signs: his rib cage shows when he breathes, he’s grunting or his nostrils flare), or if his lips turn a bluish color when he coughs. You should call anytime baby has a fever along with his cough.
thebump.com
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“For a low fever, a lukewarm bath helps. I give baby a massage and dim the lights to calm her.”
diarrhea
Give baby plenty of breast milk or formula to rehydrate him, says Preeti Parikh, MD, assistant clinical professor of pediatrics at the Ichan School of Medicine at Mount Sinai and pediatrician at Pediatrics of New York. Then watch baby closely to make sure he’s improving. HOW TO TREAT IT
WHAT OTHER MOMS DO
“Our pediatrician had us switch formulas, and baby’s been great since.”
–BLONDIEBIA21
WHEN TO CALL THE DOCTOR
Get on the phone if there’s any blood or any mucus in baby’s poop, he has a high fever or has any signs of dehydration (mentioned on the previous page). If baby is dehydrated, he may need to receive IV fluids at the hospital.
constipation
HOW TO TREAT IT Be sure baby’s getting enough fluids here too. Some doctors recommend giving a small amount of prune juice or corn syrup, but ask first. WHAT OTHER MOMS DO
“We used glycerin suppositories a few times per our doctor. We also gave baby water—1 ounce three times per day between feedings. That only helped temporarily. The cureall was mixing 1 ounce of prune juice with 1 ounce of water every other day as needed.” –KITKAT307
WHEN TO CALL THE DOCTOR
If baby is breastfed and less than one month old, call as soon as you notice. Or call if he’s stopped up for more than three days. It’s also worth a chat if baby’s very fussy or strains to poop for minutes.
fever
HOW TO TREAT IT A rectal temperature that’s higher than 100.4 degrees Fahrenheit is considered a fever for baby, Parikh says. (And yes, rectal is best.) It’s okay to give baby a dose of acetaminophen (Tylenol), but ibuprofen (Advil) isn’t recommended for babies under six months of age. WHAT OTHER MOMS DO “For a low fever, a lukewarm bath helps. And then I give baby a massage with baby lotion. I also dim the lights and play relaxing music to help calm her as I wait for her fever to go down.”
–AUBRIANA R.
WHEN TO CALL THE DOCTOR
Always call the pediatrician if baby is under three months old, acts “out of it” or is very fussy. If the fever has lasted for more than 24 hours or is over 101 degrees, it could be serious, so you definitely want to touch base with the doctor to get her advice. She will likely want to check out baby in person. >
New York Metro thebump.com
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excessive crying
First, look for an explanation. Baby could be hungry, tired or need a diaper change. Check for fever or even a hair “tourniquet,” says Parikh, who explains: “Hairs can get wrapped around baby’s fingers or toes, or even a boy’s penis.” Then, troubleshoot to see what will calm baby’s cries. Rock baby, walk him around your home, or try the baby swing. Burp him and bicycle his legs to help get rid of gas, in case that’s what’s making him uncomfortable. Is he teething? Try a cool teething ring or pacifier. HOW TO TREAT IT
WHAT OTHER MOMS DO
“When my daughter is inconsolable, we swaddle her and walk her around with a pacifier in her mouth. Once she’s calm, we put her in her swing, still swaddled, and turn it on with white noise, and she’s out in less than five minutes.” –KARI M.
WHEN TO CALL THE DOCTOR:
Phone the office if you’ve tried what seems like everything and there’s still uncontrollable crying, or if baby has other concerning symptoms. Wu says that if baby is crying a minimum of three hours per day, at least three days per week before she’s three months old, it’s likely colic.
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professional help It’s okay to call baby’s pediatrician anytime— don’t feel like you need to wait or that you’re being an alarmist. “New parents call my office more frequently than experienced ones do, and I encourage them to,” Levine says. “Parents shouldn’t be afraid to ask questions. What can be answered in a few short minutes can save hours of worry.” Here’s the info she’ll want to know: HOW OLD IS BABY?
Something as simple as a cold in the first three months is worth a visit, since babies under three months are particularly vulnerable. And a fever under eight weeks of age means a trip to the emergency room, if it’s outside of office hours. HOW’S HE ACTING?
When baby starts to seem off, keep track of how much he’s eating and sleeping, any noticeable difference in his mood and how often you need to change his diaper. If any of those four things are disrupted, say baby is excessively sleepy, he’s not as alert as he usually is, he’s supercranky or he’s not peeing as much as normal, it’s worth taking baby to the pediatrician’s office. Difficulty breathing, lethargy and dehydration are also considered emergencies. WHAT ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT?
“If the answer is a variation of ‘I’m worried about the way he looks or breathes or acts,’ then that means a visit to the doctor or the ER,” says Wu. “If the answer is ‘I’m worried about his fever, but he looks okay to me,’ then he’s probably fine.” You may be new at this, but you do have instincts. Once you’re sure it’s not an emergency, it’s okay to keep baby at home and do your best to ease his symptoms. Consult the doctor about anything you’re unsure of—from Tylenol dosage to whether to use a warm- or cool-mist humidifier. “It’s always a good idea to seek guidance from a professional,” Levine says.
Get detailed info on every baby symptom at TheBump.com/sickbaby
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basics
it’s not completely safe “Swaddling inhibits a reflex that can startle baby and wake him up. Baby actually relies on that reflex to stop him from getting into a deep sleep. If baby doesn’t wake easily, that could be a SIDS risk. There are other problems with swaddling too. Hip dysplasia, body temperature and chest compression are the biggest concerns. The hips can be bound too tightly, and baby can overheat. It’s not really clear what is meant by proper swaddling, and it’s not developmentally appropriate either.” MAUREEN LUTHER, BSC, MA
swaddling?
everyone will sleep better “Swaddling helps babies to not upset themselves, stay calm and sleep better. Studies have shown that swaddled babies don’t wake up as often and cry less. Mothers can’t stand it when their babies startle awake and are more likely to bring baby into bed with them, or do some other unsafe sleep practice. Crying can also trigger postpartum depression, marital conflict and abuse. The only studies connecting the practice with hip problems were where the legs were very tightly restricted, in a Navajo papoose, for example. It’s very easy to check baby for overheating. Unless you wrap the blanket tightly around baby’s legs without any room to move, you won’t cause problems.” HARVEY KARP, MD
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Solve baby’s sleep problems at TheBump.com/sleep
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m a ke c o p i es
sleep tracker Monitor baby’s zzz’s. Fill in the month and then shade in the boxes for hours spent snoozing. month:
_____________
time date
12 a.m.
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2 a.m.
4 a.m.
6 a.m.
8 a.m.
10 a.m.
12 p.m.
2 p.m.
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6 p.m.
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Print more trackers at TheBump.com/tools
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basics Baby poop, beer and breastfeeding, hiring a sitter and more…
When does breastfeeding get easier? Very soon. The first few days may be tough because your milk may not have come in, but it usually does within a couple days. You and baby may also have trouble getting the latch right, which can be painful and frustrating. Often, all it takes is practice, but it’s also smart to call a pro—a pediatrician, lactation consultant or a postpartum doula or nurse—to help you both get the hang of it. The earlier you can correct a problem, the more likely you and baby are to get on track. Since breast milk production is based on supply and demand, baby’s feeding prompts your body to keep making milk, so it’s important to nurse frequently. If you feel like all you’re doing is feeding your newborn, you’re actually doing it right! Don’t worry, he’ll get more efficient, and feedings will take less of your time in the coming weeks and months. “I’m a pediatrician and I’ve cried many times with all three of my kids due to breastfeeding frustrations the first two weeks,” says Josephine DlugopolskiGach, MD, pediatrician at Loyola University Medical Center. “After a few weeks, the babies and I both ‘got it.’” Other moms we know pretty much agree that breastfeeding got easier by three to four weeks, so hang in there!
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What should baby’s poop look like? If you’re breastfeeding, baby’s poop should be bright yellow, seedy and watery, and come 4 to 10 times a day. But for formula-fed babies, poop usually looks different. “It’s a little more greenish brown in color, pastier and usually less frequent,” says Sabrina Braham, MD, pediatrician in Menlo Park, California, and adjunct clinical faculty member at Stanford University. A formula-fed baby may only poop once a day. “Stool can vary day to day in breastfed babies but less in formula-fed babies.” Should I give my baby fluoride? No, babies less than six months old do not need fluoride supplements, but older kids may need them, depending on the amount of natural fluoride in your water, says Michael Lee, MD, assistant professor of pediatrics at UT Southwestern Medical Center and pediatrician at Children’s Medical Center Dallas. Call your local water utility about your water supply. If it contains between 0.7 and 1.2 parts per million of fluoride, you’re good to go. If your water supply comes from a private well and has less than 0.7 parts per million, or if your family drinks bottled water, fluoride supplements are recommended for toddlers, Lee says. Your child’s dentist or pediatrician can prescribe one.
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(
(
r
and guidelines for other tasks. That also Can drinking a beer really help with my means spelling out terms for your sitter breast milk supply? herself. Some good rules to start out with: There’s some truth to this old wives’ Show up on time, no texting or using cell tale. There’s an ingredient in beer—both phones for personal calls, no visitors, and alcoholic and nonalcoholic—that can always engage with baby by doing agetrigger the release of prolactin, a hormone appropriate activities together. that stimulates milk production. But no Things not working out as one has been able to prove planned? Talk to your sitter that drinking beer actually if there’s an issue. Most of the increases milk supply, says time you just need to clarify Amy Spangler, MN, RN, How long after your expectations to her. IBCLC, author of Breastfeeding: birth will it hurt “Speak calmly and include A Parent’s Guide. Plus, alcohol down there? solutions for any problem,” passes readily into breast Your rate of Kallweit says. milk, and even small amounts recovery depends of alcohol can affect milk Help! I have to go back to work production and milk release, on your physical and I’m having trouble getting Spangler says. (Defeats the condition and baby to take a bottle. purpose, right?) Most experts how much birth A lot of breastfed babies refuse recommend that breastfeeding beat you up, but everything but the real deal mothers drink no more than most moms feel at first. Be patient and know two drinks (that means two a whole lot better that with time (and hunger) ounces of liquor, eight ounces by six weeks baby will eventually accept of wine or two beers) per postpartum. something new. week to prevent baby from Every day will being exposed to alcohol FIND THE RIGHT BOTTLE NIPPLE get a little better, and keep your body’s milk Experiment with a variety production on track. Bottom (slow-flow, fast-flow, wide so just take it line: If you want to put this one achy morning base, narrow base, firm, flextheory to the test, go ahead, ible) to see which ones your at a time. but stick to nonalcoholic beer. baby will accept. Babies typically prefer the flow rate We’re hiring a new sitter. How (slow, medium, fast) that should we set the ground rules? matches their sucking skills. Watch baby Spell out your expectations from the closely during bottle feedings to get-go. “Never leave it up to the sitter see which type she’s adjusting to best. to assume that you need certain things BOTTLE-FEED THE RIGHT WAY Hold baby handled a certain way,” says Adrienne upright and encourage her to pause after Kallweit, founder of SeekingSitters, a few sucks. Stop the feeding as soon a national babysitting referral company. as baby shows signs of fullness. If baby Your ground rules might include basics still refuses a bottle, try a cup. Even on what to feed baby, nap schedules young babies can learn to drink from one.
Get all the baby basics at TheBump.com/baby
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beyond add personalization
reading light is key
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ready for
bed
Time to ditch the crib? Bring on the big kid bed, along with some playful new design elements. PHOTOGRAPH BY HELYNN OSPINA
Your toddler may be ready for a big kid bed between age one-and-a-half and three. “I tell parents to put the bed in the room while there’s still a crib, so the child gets excited to sleep in it,” says Emily Mughannam of EM Design Interiors, who created this room for three-year-old Aden. “This a good time to redesign because they have a more developed personality and new interests.” Infuse your child’s favorite things in subtle, fun ways, like the car, truck and tractor on Aden’s pillow, wall art and dresser.
Find a toddler bed at TheBump.com/toptoddlerbeds
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beyond
5 toddler-friendly
hot spots
Baby will be walking before you know it. Get ready to explore together at one of these fun local places. BY MADELINE SCHMITZ PHOTOGRAPH BY KT MERRY
Brooklyn Children’s Museum
Children’s Museum of Arts
Central Park
New York Transit Museum
From 59th St. to 110th St., between Fifth Ave. and Central Park West; (212) 310-6600; CentralParkNYC.org What fun, toddler-friendly activity can’t you do in Central Park? Visit animals at the Central Park Zoo, ride the carousel and play on one of the park’s many playgrounds. Or, if you’d rather, just wander the luscious green space until you find a musician or an ice cream cart (which should take five minutes, maximum).
Brooklyn Bridge Park
334 Furman St., Brooklyn; (718) 222-9939; BrooklynBridgePark.org Looking for an afternoon adventure? Pier 6 at this wildly popular park hosts one of the coolest playgrounds in New York. With a “waterlab”—where toddlers can race through sprinklers on hot days—a sandbox village and pretty gardens, this playground is ideal for toddlers who love to touch and see everything. There’s enough here for hours of activities, so pack some snacks and go play!
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103 Charlton St., New York; (212) 274-0986; CMANY.org Give your child a head start on his art education with WEE classes at the Children’s Museum of Arts. Self-expression of all kinds is encouraged here. He can play with modeling clay, paint or create a collage. Plus, a new medium is introduced every week, so he’ll never get bored and will always have new artwork to bring home. There’s also music and story time included in the class.
Boreum Place, Brooklyn; (718) 694-1600; Web.MTA.Info/mta/museum Here’s the destination for a train-obsessed tot. At the Transit Museum, you and your toddler will get to explore vintage subway cars, take a ride on the “virtual” Hudson line (complete with the sights and sounds of suburbia rushing by) and experience musical performances on the “platforms.” With weekly activities and crafts, there’s lots for your toddler to do, so you’ll want to come back again. Don’t forget your MetroCard (and stand clear of the closing doors!).
STYLING: ANNIE CAVALLO FOR ENNIS INC.; GROOMING: SUSAN DONOGHUE FOR ENNIS INC.
145 Brooklyn Ave., Brooklyn; (718) 735-4400; BrooklynKids.org The first museum to cater specifically to kids (ever!), the Brooklyn Children’s Museum has over a century of experience with entertaining toddlers. At “Totally Tots,” your tot can experiment with water play, create a masterpiece in the art studio or dress up and put on a play in the Little Theater. Then, curl up together and read one of the museum’s many books.
Get more toddler tips at TheBump.com/tots
10/30/14 10:16 AM
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CitiBitty 1
CitiBitty2
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CitiBitty 2 helps to develop early crawling skills as well as promote early socialization through independent activities, group activities and obstacles.
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Allied Breastfeeding Support www.AlliedBreastfeeding.com 1-866-621-2769 • Questions? Call our Hotline • Private home visits in Nassau, Suffolk, Queens & Brooklyn • Office visits • Phone consults • Breastfeeding classes • Pump sales/rentals • Many insurances accepted The Board-Certified Lactation Consultants & Physicians at Allied Breastfeeding Support are here for you.
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beyond
rounded ends won’t poke
get
hooked
As baby gets bigger, organization becomes even more important. PHOTOGRAPH BY JOE SCHMELZER
Create a space in your child’s room just for his mostused things. “Every kid goes through a favorite toy or favorite jacket phase,” says Sharon Montrose of Animal Print Shop, who created this cute wall with the help of designer Morgan Satterfield. “Dedicate a place just for those items, so you always know where they are.” Hang hooks low, within your toddler’s reach, so he can start to learn to put things away on his own.
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Find the best toddler gear at TheBump.com/toddlergear
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beyond
what parents around the world
think you’re doing wrong Midnight feedings, picky eating and baby poop are things parents across the globe deal with daily. But how we handle them can be vastly different.
CHINA
your six-month-old should be potty trained
In some countries, they don’t use diapers, at least not for long. “In rural China, when baby sits up, that’s when it’s time to potty train,” says Mei-Ling Hopgood, author of How Eskimos Keep Their Babies Warm. “Children are trained
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by 18 months old, and often earlier.” Every two hours or so, a Chinese mom squats her child over a basin or in the yard and makes a noise. As a result, the child learns to pee or poop when they hear it! Maybe some American parents aren’t excited about going diaper-free, but there are some who use a take on this method dubbed Elimination Communication (EC). >
JENNIFER PARKE PHOTOGRAPHY
BY KRISTI VALENTINI
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beyond
COSTA RICA
you’re a prude for covering up while breastfeeding
It seems like every new mama includes a nursing cover on her baby registry, and most feel nervous the first time they have to use it out in public. But those inhibitions don’t exist in many other countries—heck, plenty of mamas around the globe don’t use a cover-up at all. “In Costa Rica, breastfeeding is a priority and you see it everywhere, no matter the time or place,” says Maribel Reyes, a mom of two who recently moved there. Remember: You have the right to feed your baby wherever and whenever you want. You don’t have to be shy. JAPAN
you’re cold for using a crib
For most of the world, having your baby sleep separately is totally foreign. “Parents in most other countries believe that being together in the nighttime is an essential part of bonding with baby,” says Christine Gross-Loh, PhD, author of Parenting Without Borders. “When I was in Japan, some of my friends couldn’t believe that American babies are expected to learn how to go to sleep by themselves.” The problem with having baby sleep in your bed is that it can pose a SIDS risk. So consider a bedside bassinet to promote parent-baby communication. FRANCE
feeding baby plain cereal is confining
“In France, they introduce babies to a variety of foods early and have so many baby food flavors, like fish and chocolate rice cereal,” says Natalia Simmons, an American mom of two who moved to France. Leek soup, endive, zucchini, pumpkin and spinach are recommended as first foods by doctors there. Nothing wrong with feeding them to baby.
KENYA
push baby in a stroller? no way!
Kenyan mothers shun strollers and, instead, carry their babies on their backs. Not only because it’s convenient in a country full of potholed dirt roads, but also because being close to mom is comforting, Hopgood notes. Japanese parents have a similar mindset. “In Japan, there’s this concept called ‘skinship.’ It’s the notion that babies and children really need to have plenty of physical contact with their loved ones to grow up secure,” Gross-Loh says. Why not cut out some stroller time and mix in babywearing too? Research suggests that keeping your little one close for at least three hours a day has shown to lessen crying bouts by nearly 50 percent. It may also increase your milk supply and reduce your risk of postpartum depression.
“In France, there are so many baby food flavors, like fish and chocolate cereal.” CANADA
you should be teaching your toddler to talk to strangers
Ali Goldfield, a family counselor in Canada, points out that there’s a disadvantage to labeling all strangers bad: “If your child is lost, how is he going to find help without talking to a stranger?” Instead, she recommends helping kids to recognize creepy adult behaviors and telling them what to do when they spot it. “Looking at other cultures makes you realize there are a million ways to raise a happy, healthy child,” Hopgood says.
Learn about the world’s maternity leave at TheBump.com/worldmatleave
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10/30/14 10:16 AM
Our Infant Milestones class is designed to support the natural patterns of development in infants fostering growth through music, movement, massage, gentle stretching and tummy time. Original songs, developmentally appropriate props, and both energizing and calming infant massage techniques are used each week to stimulate auditory, visual, and physical growth. Call 347.706.4700 for more details or to sign up today!
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beyond
breaking the
”surrogacy code”
How Crystal Kelley became the ultimate example of “surrogacy gone wrong,” and how the baby she refused to abort is doing today.
D
ubbed “the runaway surrogate,” Crystal Kelley was loved by some and loathed by others when she made headlines in 2013 for refusing to terminate her surrogate pregnancy. After the baby girl’s biological parents discovered she would have debilitating health problems and some birth defects, they made the request that Kelley end the pregnancy. She fled her home state of Connecticut for Michigan (since its surrogacy laws would allow her to be the child’s guardian). Some thought Kelley was a hero—the baby deserved a chance at life, they said. Others felt she’d betrayed the code of surrogates—this was not her child, they argued. >
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this is a follow-up to last issue’s story
FROM TOP: GETTY IMAGES; THINKSTOCK
BY JENNIFER BENJAMIN
thebump.com
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beyond
how did this happen? Doctors said Baby S could die before reaching her first birthday. She had been diagnosed with a brain defect and several heart defects, as well as cerebral palsy and a pituitary gland disorder. The little girl would have a rough road ahead. so, she had the baby anyway? Yep. Through her contacts, Kelley found a family with experience raising disabled children to adopt Baby S. Now, at over a year old, she is doing more than doctors ever expected. After several surgeries, her heart problems have been resolved and most of her major medical issues have been corrected. But she’s had a few strokes, which could impact her future
”She’s not the vegetable that they thought she’d be.” health, and her gross motor skills are delayed—she’s unable to crawl or walk yet. She also has a compromised immune system, so a simple flu inevitably results in a hospital stay for Baby S. Still, her social skills are on track for a child her age, at least so far. “She acts like a normal toddler in many ways. She’s a lively little girl who likes to get at things and reaches for what she wants. She makes noises to get your attention,” says Kelley. “She’s not the vegetable that the doctors thought she might be.” Kelley gives full credit to Baby S’s adoptive family. “She’s growing up in such a great environment, with brothers and sisters who absolutely love her. Family comes first at their house.” They’re also incredibly private, and plan to shield Baby S from the chatter that has arisen from her newsworthy entrance into the world.
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now what? While no one really knows what the future holds for Baby S, Kelley’s biggest hope is that she continues to be loving and curious. “Whether she ends up with the cognition to do all the things that are considered socially acceptable, I don’t care, as long as she’s happy,” she says. “We all just hope that she’s given every opportunity to do whatever she may be capable of. And her family has the ability and know-how to give her that chance.” The former surrogate says that she keeps in constant touch with the adoptive family via Facebook and tries to see Baby S every few months. When asked the question on all our minds—whether the baby’s biological parents (who wanted to end the pregnancy) ever see the baby—Kelley says she doesn’t know. But we do know that they’ve been in touch with Baby S’s adoptive family since her birth. what about the surrogate? Kelley says getting back to life as usual with her own young daughters was tough after all the media attention, and with the financial burden that came with the move. “When we moved back to Connecticut, we were starting from scratch and I had to figure out how to make it work financially. We were bouncing around for awhile and struggling,” she recalls. In the last few months, she’s returned to work as a doula and a nanny, and she and her family have moved into a house. She also published a book about her experience called Fire Within: A Surrogate’s Journey. As for being a surrogate again, Kelley would love the opportunity, but knows it’s probably not likely. “I would absolutely do it again if someone asked, but I don’t know anyone who would want to,” she says. “There aren’t people banging down my door.” She’s well aware of the backlash, and that her story is now a cautionary tale of “surrogacy gone wrong.” Still, she doesn’t regret giving birth to Baby S.
Read more about Baby S’s story at TheBump.com/runaway
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beyond
potty training
dos and don’ ts
Forget what you thought you knew about getting your toddler ready to use the potty. Some of the most popular tactics just don’t work.
SHUTTERSTOCK
BY SONA CHARAIPOTRA AND ELENA DONOVAN MAUER >
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beyond
Potty training: Those two words make many parents cringe. It’s a lot of work, and easy to mess up (and can get messy!). This is what to do and what not to.
don’t
do time it right
Timing is everything, according to a study performed by Joseph Barone, MD, of The Bristol-Myers Squibb Children’s Hospital at Robert Wood Johnson University Hospital. He says: “We tested all kinds of variables, but the only thing that really mattered was that you begin between 27 and 32 months of age.” Earlier, a child’s brain isn’t developed enough to fully grasp the concept. Later, you’re likely to face resistance.
prep ahead
Start out by reading books about using the potty—we like A Potty for Me! by Karen Katz; Potty, by Leslie Patricelli; and Everyone Poops, by Taro Gomi because they’re light (and funny!). Let your toddler sit on the potty when he wants to. Then, pick a date, get all the supplies and start. Barone says if you let your child dictate when it’s time to begin, you could enter “older and, therefore, more difficult to potty train” territory.
don’t limit yourself to one method
There are different ways to do it: using training pants; going straight to underwear; going naked from the waist down; or doing it in three days, three weeks, three months. There’s not one way that works for everyone. “Parents should consider all the methods and strategies available to them,” says Stavinoha. “There may be more than one strategy that can work for you and your child. You will have to mix and match to get the results you want.” >
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ignore the signs
“Your child will tell you, in not so many words, that they’re ready,” says Peter Stavinoha, PhD, neuropsychologist and author of StressFree Potty Training: A Commonsense Guide to Finding the Right Approach for Your Child. “It might be that he’s barging in on mom or dad in the bathroom, or wants to wear Spider-Man underpants.” If you start before seeing the signs, it simply won’t happen.
potty pooper does your toddler hate toilet training? “If your child has tantrums or sheds tears over training, or if you’re getting angry, then stop,” says Elizabeth Pantley, author of The No-Cry Potty Training Solution. “Review your plan and try again, using a different approach, in a month or two.”
thebump.com
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beyond
Your child should be able to dress and undress himself, and sit still long enough to listen to one or two short books before you train, Pantley says.
don’t
do
put stock in training pants
“If you don’t have time for major cleanups, training pants are fine,” says Stavinoha. “But the big knock against them is that there is no consequence for an accident, so there isn’t motivation. With underwear, there’s a clear, immediate consequence.”
do make it pressure-free
Know that this could take a while. “It takes 3 to 12 months from the start of training to daytime toilet independence,” Pantley says. Longer isn’t considered a failure—so keep at it, without stressing. “When the parent goes in thinking, ‘I know this could take months,’ some of those kids train overnight, because there’s no pressure,” Stavinoha notes.
use (small) rewards
Many parents use a reward system to get training on track—toys, small chocolates and fruit snacks are popular choices. Rewards can definitely work, but the experts warn not to go too crazy with them. “Don’t give rewards too often, because then they don’t carry much value to the child,” Barone says. So instead of a reward for every little victory, set up a chart that tracks successes—never failures—with smiley faces or stickers. “I used marshmallows for the first three days,” says Bumpie tnd81. “After that, I gave them only when my daughter remembered and asked.” Even better motivators are the less tangible kind: praise, hugs and kisses. “With tangible rewards, you set up an expectation that the next reward has to be bigger and better,” Stavinoha says.
don’t half-*ss it
“You can’t do it halfway,” says Stavinoha. “It’s being home, near the bathroom, with easy access. Otherwise it won’t work.” If you’re in the checkout line when your child says she has to pee, get to the restroom pronto!
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get negative
Expect challenges (yes, accidents). And avoid negative language. “Punishment inhibits the process,” notes Stavinoha. “It’s not just about teaching your child to use the potty. It’s about how you relate to, teach and motivate your kid.”
Print potty training charts at TheBump.com/pottychart
10/30/14 10:17 AM
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alone time works “Time-out interrupts a child’s negative behavior, separates him from the situation that’s igniting his emotions, and allows him to calm down. How you use a time-out will change based on your child’s age. For younger children, it’s more of a ‘time-away,’ say if a one-yearold hits the dog, you take him away from the dog. If a two-year-old is grabbing toys from his baby cousin, the time-out should include short, specific instructions. Taking a break like this is helpful for children, but it’s also beneficial for you, since it gives you a chance to calm down too and then teach through discussion.” ELIZABETH PANTLEY, AUTHOR
time-out?
toddlers are too young “Time-out shouldn’t be used until your child can understand time and can reason with you—that only happens beginning roughly at age seven. Before that, she won’t be able to fully process what’s happening. With time-out, young children can’t understand why they’re being punished. It’s important for a child to develop trust, and when a parent allows the child to come and go, it builds that trust. But when the child is forced into being alone, they may start to feel like the parent isn’t there for them. That can have a profound impact on the child’s relationships, even into adulthood.” PETER ERNEST HAIMAN, PHD
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hilarious toddler mispronunciations Outbursts you’ve got to read to believe.
“My son used to call elevators ‘alligators.’ So cute!” —JOLIE B.
“We were naming planets, and when I asked my son to repeat ‘Uranus’ he said, ‘My anus!’” —COLE B.
“My toddler couldn’t pronounce ‘f’ words. There was a lot of cursing going on in our house.” —TINA K.
“Our twins call the refrigerator the ‘fridge for later.’ It cracks my husband and me up!” —JOHANNA G.
By age two, vocab can reach over 50 words. Wow!
Gain toddler know-how at TheBump.com/toddler
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beyond
toddler chore chart
Start small with this basic list of chores. Before you know it, your toddler will clean up after himself and you’ll have a few less things to do (score!).
’s chores
get dressed
make bed
put away toys
pick up dirty clothes
brush teeth
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toddler Weaning, toddler toys, starting preschool and more…
We’re both ready. How do I wean my toddler from breastfeeding? Great job for nursing into toddlerhood! The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends breastfeeding for at least a year, but only about 27 percent of moms and babies actually make it that long— you did it! And while it might seem tough to wean now that you’re both so used to breastfeeding, the fact that you’re pros can make this a positive experience. GO SLOWLY If this happens too abruptly, it could cause engorgement for you and could be tough for your toddler to handle. Decrease the duration of each nursing session, or skip one entirely every few days or so. Provide your toddler with plenty of attention while weaning, says Jennifer Ritchie, IBCLC, author of I Make Milk, What’s Your Superpower? DISTRACT Many moms find that if they simply don’t suggest breastfeeding, they can successfully skip a feeding here and there. Don’t sit in the usual chair you would sit in to nurse, and keep her busy with a toy or story during that time. FOCUS ON DAYTIME FIRST You’ll probably find it easier to cut out the daytime feedings before the evening ones. At night, she’s probably come to expect cuddles and breast milk before bed. The nighttime feeding is usually the last to go.
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What’s the best way to deal with my toddler’s bossiness? Some toddlers are born trying to take charge of every situation; others are just passing through a bossy phase. Whichever category your toddler falls into, your goal is to avoid constant power struggles. Starting out with a pattern of arguments, even at the “terrible twos,” can cause a habit that’s hard to break as your child gets older. Start by setting limits without having a lot of emotional reaction, says Kate Roberts, PhD, licensed clinical psychologist in Salem, Massachusetts. Of course, your child’s health, safety and well-being come first, so in some areas—wearing a seat belt or holding hands while crossing the street—you have to be the one in charge. But with other, less important things, pick your battles. For example, if your toddler likes to dictate what she’ll wear each day, let her. Give her a few reasonable outfits to choose from. She may just want to feel she has a role to play in certain situations, and not that she’s always being dragged along. Give her a job: Tell her to count all the blue cars during the ride to day care, Roberts suggests. Letting her have some leeway and control, with a few firm limits, helps her learn what’s important. It will also make the family happier in the long run.
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to keep his personal things. Got any nut-free lunch ideas for my Help them learn to settle differences PB&J-loving kid? themselves, Parikh says. Resist stepping As peanut and tree nut allergies increase, into their battles unless their behavior more day cares and preschools are telling is getting out of hand. If and when you do parents to leave the peanut butter at step in, let each child explain why he’s home. Since your kid is a true sandwich angry or upset, encourage them to listen fanatic, sub in sunflower or soy butter to each other, and praise each or flavored cream cheese for one when they begin to talk peanut butter, suggests Jeanabout the problem. nie Gazzaniga-Moloo, PhD, Teach your twins why it’s RD, lecturer in Nutrition and What are some important to trade or take Foods/Dietetics at California good toys for a turns. Once they’ve figured State University, Sacramento. one-year-old? those behaviors out, they’ll And of course, you’ve got Get something have a big leg up when it’s your turkey or ham and that helps with time to head off to playgroups cheese sandwiches. balance and or preschool. But also think outside walking skills, bread: Give him yogurt and What’s the best age for my sliced fruit. Or make wholelike a push toy. child to start preschool? grain pasta sprinkled with Baby’s becoming Most preschools accept kids Parmesan cheese and keep social, so look for as young as age two and it warm in a thermos. He toys for playing go through age six. It’s an might also enjoy hummus with others, like individual decision, and with some pita or crackers. balls or blocks. there’s no single answer, says Board books, Cindy H. Liu, PhD, clinical and My toddler twins are driving musical toys, developmental psychologist, me crazy with their fighting! a dollhouse or Department of Psychiatry, What can I do to keep the figures are also Harvard Medical School. Most twin wars to a minimum? important is your child’s readiCreate separate play stations good bets. ness. Is she okay with saying in your home, so each twin goodbye, being away from you can have something he can be and being away from home? doing without getting in the If she’s really anxious about it, you may be other’s way, suggests Preeti Parikh, MD, better off waiting a year or so until she’s assistant clinical professor of pediatrics at more comfortable. In the meantime, enroll Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New her in “mommy and me” classes to get York City (and mom of twins!). One can her used to group settings. play with building blocks while the other Also, find out what the rules are. Some toots around the train track, for example. preschools have prerequisites, like being Establish personal space in the bedroom potty trained and getting through the day too—even if they share a room. Give each without a midday nap. twin his own storage area or colored box
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Get ready for the toddler stage at TheBump.com/toddler
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