Pilot Activity Re: The “Artist Within” 3rd Training “YOUR INNER CLOWN, HUMOUR STRATEGIES AND OTHER COMPETENCES” Leipzig, Germany
Emil Antonov Bulgaria, ARM-BG volunteer MY INNER CLOWN Liepzig workshop, 3-11 October, 2015 Reflexions on Humour Strategies and Clown Works In the first training day in Liepzig, our Bulgarian ‘crew’ had its own hurry, due to the 20 minutes’ walking distance to the Training-hall. We were so serious – not to be late, to be in time ... To sing is not an easy job! Even when you are alone in the bathroom :) For me it was a matter of fear – what it will be? Would I be a successful Clown...? What kind of a Gig I would have to perform...? Nowadays, I can laugh at those thoughts of mine! The group reacted with humor - nothing strange and nothing tragic to be late, and then – to sing a song – bringing a smile to the entire group :) was such a fun. The sense given by this working approach (instrument) of the trainers seems simple and useful – a tacit and friendly suggestion to be capable of managing our own timing ... to be always ready to comply with the order around and be conscious – within the group, on the stage, or in everyday life. All this daily morning running of the Bulgarian group through the Leipzig central Station made me nervous and reflective. I was both angry with myself, with the unhappy time-consuming accommodation circumstances and so grateful for the general group reaction and the possibility to later during the day master my anger and find a way to express in depth all negative emotions in some very enriching creatively dynamic way.
It was important for me to understand this special space, created by the entire group humour strategies pursuit. We all had to find our own inner resources, to open them up, to explore them, to express them and to share them with the others. It had it`s reference to the emotional dynamics of all the workshop participants. Discovering the humourist`s strategies inside ourselves seems a matter of emotional intelligence. And all the games and exercises offered by the Leipzig training were very useful “construction engineer’s” instruments for finding that place inside ourselves, where humour gives birth to itself and then assists the birth of your Inner Clown. Here starts the morning training – every day’s starting rituals, making me happy to share again and again :) Every morning we built this strange community of evolving humans full of humour, of potential clowns ... What a circle - „a nice circle“! Positive, energising, smiley and giving power to stand the day-long learning. Most importantly, I felt the community – breathing inside :) It was some kind of a magic to feel free and at the same time linked to the group’s life all that week. Might be it was the power of giving and sharing. A play and a game – any kind, anytime, with anyone – it was my favourite strategy, to be myself and at the same time part of such a wonderful group. What a purifying and beautiful emotion was born there - I think now. We built a peaceful and creative atmosphere. We had amazing teachers but I felt being there that everyone was a great teacher for My Inner Clown. Every participant did show something new, unexpected and crazy. Nothing formal or stereotypical was there! We spoke so much – not only with words, but generally with emotions, body language, facial expressions and gestures. There was no time for philosophical reflections, but only for playing - just a game-integration of the personal soul into a overall big spirit of „Holy Humour“ :) There were personal ways of reaching it, but the direction was one throughout the training. The question „how I feel?“ inside me, wasn`t so important – just to be a part of the game ... The Game of laughing and smiling at myself - laughing not as an obligation and smiling not with a mechanical smile. Clowns are often sad. But being sad can never take away your chance of being in a good humour :) For me it was a rare possibility to be one week out of the social matrix with its typical norms, behaviour and manners. It was a space of my own way of humour, the way I found it through my personal clown – awakened within in his own way. What a precious time we had throughout the Liepzig training, free of social masks and schemes. We had our topics, our problems to resolve, our own borders to cross, personal thoughts to complete and our own inner chains to break.
At first it was for me a therapeutic process because of the internalized defining practical notions of „the allowed“and „the forbidden“in our society. It gave to me a reason to think more, to feel and to better sense my own bearing and actions. It was at the same way helpful – for me and for all of our „clown community“. When the training was halfway through I felt that we were so dependent on each other in terms of actions, movements and behaviour – in one invisible moment we all became a group. One Human Being, built of more than 20 personalities. There were no outside rules, but we built our own ones by creating our clown personalities – shaping them through common humour strategies. This cures the soul, I`m pretty sure of this :)) It gave me a better way of integrating some values, precious for the adult`s world outside, by spontaneously finding them inside, born within some inner layer of consciousness. We studied there the gentle art of expression – of positive and of a negative things. May be it`s easier to verbalize your emotions, but the exercises without any words can show you a different point of view. To explain something without speaking and to be understood is a challenge. For a few moments I thought I have found the way to my own humour, but then I used to feel confused. To keep the fun momentum is not easy. All the time there comes a situation when you have to prove to yourself (even not to the others) your own capability to be ‘here’ and ‘now’, with „a nose“ :) I understood it needs a lot of work ... a lot. Somethimes there are in life various situations requiring an improvised reaction, without any thinking time to manage it. Such situations are the chance of our inner clown to act – spontaneous and youthful for the „aged“ world outside. I would like to thank our clown-chief – Sophie and all the others, who helped me in this hard process. It was a time of greatest inspiration and good mood for me! The feeling of “WE” was the fountain of all that flowing humor. There, in that special 6-days process we were creating an unusual atmosphere with simple movements and simple things around. The result were all those sunny faces – with, or without noses! We were the fun – everywhere – in the training-hall, on the streets, at the Central train station, etc. What happened exceeded all my expectations. All that happened to me made me feel alive, shining, laughing (not only during my favorite game „O, James“:)). For me it is always important in making dance, music and all kind of arts – to awaken the body. For the humour strategies’ learning & making during that training it was of equal importance. It seems to me, for that sort of artistic expression a body consciousness is needed – for every bodily cell and molecule.
During all these days in Liepzig my soul was painted in colours, without a desire to consume anything. I was more concentrated and less demanding from others. The meaning of Humour creativity as a process is that there are so many ways for a person to be giving to the World the humour one carries within. By the end of that amazing week my inner clown was there, and not only inside me, shying away and showing occasionally, but ready to develop, to grow, to communicate – searching for partners for fun and new horizons :) Thank you all !!! Sincerely Yours, Emo
Copyright Recipients are free to use all or parts of this document for personal use however are requested to inform the author. Recipients are requested to acknowledge The artist within – Applied eMOTION consortium and the author in any reference to the content of this document. In the event of any further queries please consult the author. Acknowledgements This project was possible with the financial support from the Erasmus+ program. The methodological resources and inspiration came from the The artist within – Applied eMOTION long-term adult education project (www.theartistwithin.eu). The generosity from the fund and these organisations is much appreciated.