BMX SELF DEFENCE Words and Illustration by ALEX SPREADBURY
Although this article is about how to protect yourself when some jumped up chav tries to steal your bike, I thought I’d first stray away from BMX and tell you a little story a guy called William Smith once told me. “In west Philadelphia, born and raised, in the playground is where I spent most of my days. Chilling out, maxing, relaxing all cool and shooting some b-ball, outside of the school. When a couple of guys, who were up to no good, started making trouble in my neighborhood. I got in one little fight and my mom got scared, she said “You’re moving to your aunties and uncles in Bel Air.”
often don’t know our own strength. I’ve seen guys crush beer bottles, accidentally strangle cats and break everything from cars to walls, all by a seemingly slight touch of a hand. If you out-number them, man up and show some balls. Remember the Fresh Prince, look where he ended up.
I’ve no idea if William won the fight, but who cares, this lucky son of a bitch got a free ticket out of the ghetto and ended up moving to one of the most prestigious areas in the US, all because he got in a fight. That’s where fighting got him. Sometimes, beating someone up is more than worth it.
I love the idea of manning up but the reality of it is… I’m a bit of a pussy. If it’s one on one, get the hell out of there. Fights are generally best avoided. I can hear all the hard men BMXers now, ‘What the fuck! You’ll turn us all into spineless pussies!’ Maybe so, but there are some very nasty people out there, people who are willing to go to extreme lengths to get that new and shiny bike from underneath you. Our first technique is ‘ride away fast’, that’s the best bit of self defense advice we’ll give you, but if you do get stuck between a rock and a hard place, here are three more techniques that might come in handy and also show you the inner Rocky you never knew you had.
“What’s this shitty analogy with the Fresh Prince of Bel Air got to do with BMX?” I hear you say.Well, the point I’m trying to make is ‘Don’t be a pussy’. If there are two guys trying to take a bike from one of your group of ten buddies, it’s time to bring those fuckers down. BMXers are strong, but we
Technique 1: Run Away
[Disclaimer: The Albion BMX Magazine does not encourage violence in any shape or form. Be safe. Run away.]
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BMX Self Defence