November 2016 by The Vital Voice Magazine

COVER

November 13, 2016 12:00 to 4:00 PM

Hyatt Regency St. Louis at the Arch 315 Chestnut Street • St. Louis, MO 63120

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The

WEDDING issue IMPRESSUM 6

MASTHEAD

PUBLISHERSâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; LETTER

NIGHTLIFE 8

FIRST SIP

11 13

PLAYDATES ST. LOUIS PLAYDATES KANSAS CITY

PROFILES 18

HANS WEIMANN AN EVOLUTION OF GROWTH

RON WEDS JON LIVE FROM A DEVICE NEAR YOU

30.

WEDDING GUIDE THE GUIDE IS BACK THIS YEAR, BIGGER THAN EVER WITH 11 DIFFERENT PARTICIPANTS TO MAKE YOUR SPECIAL DAY TRULY ORIGINAL.

LIFE GUIDE 44

STEVE DELANEY 500 WEDDINGS WORTH OF WISDOM

ENTERTAINMENT 48

KENADIE ST. JAMES

STL SCENE

FINDS LOVE NORTH OF THE BORDER

HRC GALA ST. LOUIS NATIONAL COMING OUT DAY

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CEO & PARTNER • DARIN SLYMAN DSLY@THEVITALVOICE.COM PUBLISHER & PARTNER • JIMMY LESCH JIMMY@THEVITALVOICE.COM MANAGING EDITOR • KEVIN SCHMIDT KEVIN@THEVITALVOICE.COM ART DIRECTOR • MELANIE LAYER-GASKELL MELANIE@MELANIELAYER.COM GRAPHIC DESIGNER • ROMANA MRZLJAK ROMANAMRZLJAK99@GMAIL.COM GRAPHIC DESIGNER • AUDREY SCHERER AUDSCHERER@GMAIL.COM CONTRIBUTOR • KALEIGH JURGENSMEYER KMJURGENSMEYER@GMAIL.COM CONTRIBUTOR • TYLER BIERMAN TB6809@GMAIL.COM CONTRIBUTOR • JILL FIRNS JILLIANFIRNS31@GMAIL.COM CONTRIBUTORS ART: DARIN SLYMAN, MELANIE LAYER-GASKELL MARK MOORE, ROMANA MRZLJAK AUDREY SCHERER, JULIE DENESHA TEXT: KEVIN SCHMIDT, TYLER BIERMAN KALEIGH JURGENSMEYER, BRANDON EVANS DESIGN: MELANIE LAYER-GASKELL, ROMANA MRZLJAK AUDREY SCHERER ONLINE THEVITALVOICE.COM FACEBOOK.COM/VITALVOICE TWITTER.COM/VITALVOICE INSTAGRAM.COM/VITALVOICE CONTACT VITAL VOICE MAGAZINE 4579 LACLEDE AVE #268, ST. LOUIS, MO 63108 VV@THEVITALVOICE.COM 314.256.1196

FOX THEATRE

•

NOVEMBER 15-27

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November 2016

25K ISSUES PRINTED MONTHLY 400+ POINTS OF DISTRIBUTION THROUGHOUT THE ST. LOUIS AND KANSAS CITY AREA

PublisherS’ letter

WELCOME FALL IN LOVE Welcome to the annual LGBT Wedding Issue. Now that we have marriage equality, it’s time for all of us to start making new traditions together. Who says we have to do everything just like everyone else? We are a creative and innovative community so let your colors shine bright. In this year’s Wedding Guide, we have curated a fabulous group of wedding vendors who are at the ready to make your special day over the top.

Love and marriage comes in all forms for the LGBT community, not just two guys or two gals. Sometimes, it’s Trans* to Trans*. We are over the moon for St. Louis’ own Kenadie St. James on her upcoming wedding to her long time boyfriend. Again, we encourage you as you start to plan your wedding to get creative and be bold. Let this special day shine as bright as you and your loved are in your union.

We are also excited to spotlight KC’s Ron Megee and his husband who made their wedding bliss happen in a very unique way. We also visited with St. Louis’ own Steve Delaney who is on his 500th LGBT wedding to officiate. Get an insider peek at what you will need to know to select the perfect officiant to preside over your nuptials.

Darin Slyman CEO/Partner

Jimmy Lesch Publisher/Partner

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NIGHTLIFE

FIRST SIP

AUTUMN APPLETINI Golden in color and golden delicious in taste, the Autumn Appletini is the perfect blend of sweet, tart and spice. Tired of those pumpkin spice lattes already? So are we. Based with Pearl Black, this is an adults-only fall cider that gives the warm feels of the fall season, one chilled martini glass at a time. Even better, it’s a cocktail that you can drink over and over again. Always a crowd pleaser, the Autumn Appletini is what we like to refer to as a “session cocktail,” if there is such a thing.

MAKE IT Glass: Martini Tools: shaker, strainer Ingredients: 1 ½ oz. Pearl Vodka 1 ½ oz. apple cider ½ oz. fresh lemon juice ½ oz. Aperol Garnish: Lemon twist Recipe: Add all ingredients to the shaker over ice. Shake vigorously and strain into a chilled martini glass and garnish. TEXT: KEVIN SCHMIDT ART: DARIN SLYMAN

November 2016

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November 2016

STL NIGHTLIFE

Playdates

SAINT LOUIS

FUN HOME AT THE FOX

15th - 27th

Fabulous Fox - fabulousfox.com

St. Louis welcomes the Tony Award-winning musical Fun Home to the Fox Theatre for the first time. The musical is produced by Fox Theatricals, a St. Louis-based Broadway producing organization. Fun Home is based on the graphic memoir of the same name by Alison Bechdel, a cartoonist who is the author of the comic strips Dykes to Watch Out For. In the memoir, Bechdel details her childhood and youth in rural Pennsylvania, with the primary focus on her relationship with her father. The memoir also details Alison’s coming out as a lesbian and her father’s closet sexuality. Fun Home first premiered Off-Broadway in 2013, winning five Tony Awards in 2015 for Best Musical, Best Book of a Musical, Best Original Score, Best Leading Actor in a Musical and Best Direction of a Musical. A mainstream production with a lesbian protagonist, Fun Home is produced by Mike Isaacson, Kristin Caskey, Jack Lane and Terry Schnuck.

3rd - 13th

WHITAKER ST. LOUIS FILM FESTIVAL

Across St. Louis - cinemastlouis.org The festival is a globe-circling mission that explores the far corners of the cinematic universe. In 2015, SLIFF screened an unprecedented 447 films.

ANTHONY BOURDAIN: THE HUNGER TOUR

4th - 5th

TRANS* SPECTRUM CONFERENCE

Wash U - transspectconf.wordpress.com The conference brings together a range of people to celebrate the lives of trans* people by creating dialog and improving the lives of all gender variant people.

5th THE ST. LOUIS LANTERN FEST

Brookdale Farms - thelanternfest.com There will be music, dancing, s’mores and, when the time is just right, light the sky with your highest hopes, deepest regrets, and fondest dreams.

Fabulous Fox Theatre - fabulousfox.com The Hunger Tour serves audiences an unyielding, brutally honest monologue reflecting on culture, street cuisine and Bourdain’s travels to lesser-known locations.

GARDEN GLOW OPENING NIGHT

Missouri Botanical Garden - mobot.org “The prototype for tomorrow’s global pop star” is how The New York Times described YouTuber-turned-popstar Troye Sivan, who stops at The Pageant this Halloween.

TRANS* DAY OF REMEMBRANCE

12th

19th

20th

Across St. Louis - stlmetrotrans.com TDOR is an annual observance on November 20 that honors the memory of those whose lives were lost in acts of antitransgender violence.

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November 2016

KC NIGHTLIFE

Playdates

KANSAS CITY

A VERY BEDROCK CHRISTMAS OPENING

25th

Late Night Theatre at Missie B’s - latenighttheatre.com

Yabba-Dabba-Doooo: Don’t miss this modern Stone Age Christmas musical. It’s all your favorites parodied with the Late Night Theatre flavor. Opening on November 25, Black Friday, this is Late Night Theatre’s—named Best Theatre in VOICE Your Choice 2016 by Vital VOICE readers—wild Holiday show. What happens when Fred and Barney have to help a sick Santa deliver presents on the magical night? First, an evil Mr. Quarry kidnaps Pebbles and Bam Bam, forcing them to perform in Viva Rock Vegas. Then, Wilma, Betty, Fred, Dino and Barney must rescue the kids, help Santa and celebrate Dino’s Hanukkah before time runs out. Join for the Holiday Stone Age Musical adventure of the lifetime, with great Holiday songs, puppetry, bad dancing, and a drink or three.

3rd

AMY SCHUMER AT SPRINT CENTER

Sprint Center - sprintcenter.com The comedian, actress, writer, producer and director announces her first-ever stop at Sprint Center, similar to her stand-up specials on Comedy Central and HBO.

SCREENLAND AT THE SYMPHONY

Kauffman Center - kauffmancenter.org The film that produced one of the world’s greatest movie heroes, Indiana Jones, is back. Relive the original, ultimate adventure, “Raiders of the Lost Ark,” this month.

10th & 12th

5th

6th

Sprint Center - tappedfest.com With Kansas City’s booming beer scene, you can count on more than 100 beers, wines and ciders. Enjoy tunes from a local DJ, play games and, of course, have fun.

Bistro 303 - bistrobrigade.eventbrite.com The third-annual hog roast features 4 amazing wines, a cocktail provided by Major Brands, and a whole-hog donated by benefactor Brad Hobbs.

TAPPED BEER FESTIVAL

SWINE & WINE DINNER 2016

87TH ANNUAL PLAZA LIGHTING CEREMONY

MOSCOW BALLET’S GREAT RUSSIA

24th

26th

Country Club Plaza - countryclubplaza.com The Thanksgiving Day timeline for the annual event includes pre-show performances and great giveaways from the main stage, and a “Flip of the Switch.”

The Midland - midlandkc.com Enchant the whole family with larger than life magical props, a 60-foot growing Christmas tree and spectacular Russian-made costumes and sets.

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CATERING | PRIVATE EVENT | LIQUID CATERING

November 2016

Happily ever after... LUCAS GAMLIN & MATT BRAUN OCTOBER 8, 2016 | ST. LOUIS, MO

LUCAS GAMLIN & MATT BRAUN CEREMONY: Laumeier Sculpture Park RECEPTION: St Louis Art Museum CATERER: Panorama at SLAM PHOTOGRAPHER: Jeremy Minnerick CAKE: The Cakery Bakery EVENT COORDINATION & FLORALS: Madi Keller GRAPHIC DESIGN: Emily Roth DJ: Alexis Tucci Productions LATE NIGHT SNACK: Vincent Van Donut SIGNATURE BAR: Dustin Parres, Gamlin Restaurant Group

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CATERING HAS NEVER TASTED SO PRETTY. 23CITYBLOCKS.COM 314.615. 24 8 0 CATERING@23CIT Y BLOCK S.COM

November 2016

Opening

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Savor authentic Italian fare just like “nonna” used to make. From classic favorites like wood-fired Margherita pizza and housemade pasta, to seasonal desserts like slow-churned gelato, Cibare is a little taste of Italy right in St. Louis.

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H a n s W ei m a n n An Evolution of Growth text BRANDON EVANS art DARIN SLYMAN

Stepping into the offices of Hans Wiemann is a pleasant experience. From the offering of complimentary refreshments to the attentive and professional staff, you are put at ease as soon as you enter the building. The décor of the offices is instantly notable, and you feel like you are in the middle of a professional salon more so than a place to receive hair restoration treatments. Today, Tim Pfeiffer is the President and CEO of Hans Wiemann, but his original encounter with the company started in 1987.

November 2016

Tim initially contacted the company as a client after seeing a television commercial that piqued his curiosity. “What caught my eye in 1987 was Hans saying, ‘come see the new micro-monofilament system.’ I thought, ‘what is that?’” Tim recalls. He scheduled a consultation soon after and became a satisfied customer. So pleased was Tim that he wanted to do more with the company. “I approached the founder, Hans Wiemann, and said ‘I’m so pleased with what you’ve done for me, I believe I can help other people.’ We hit it off, and he hired me. I started the next Saturday,” Tim says. That was how in 1991 he began as a consultant with Hans Weimann. Little did Tim realize at the time that he had big changes in store for the company. On October 1, 2000, Tim purchased the company from Hans Wiemann and began to grow the business. Pfeiffer wanted to expand the business from just helping people with non-surgical hair units. He realized that there was a desire in the clientele that wasn’t being met. “People are now to the point where they want their own hair, and technology now allows for that,” Tim begins. “A year after I bought Hans Wiemann, I introduced

hair transplantation.” This surgical hair transplantation involves taking healthy growing hair from denser areas of growth, and transplanting the follicles to the thinning or non growing areas of hair. A common misconception is that this process leaves the recipient with doll-looking hair plugs, but that is simply not the case. The surgical transplant methods have evolved with the adaptation of technology. Today, a sophisticated system is used for the best results possible. The ARTAS Robotic Hair Transplant system is the latest cutting edge technology Hans Wiemann utilizes in assisting clients. Where a human surgeon would take a great deal of time to analyze transplant sites for extraction, the ARTAS system uses artificial intelligence algorithms to identify and nurture prime hair for harvesting. This avoids damage to existing healthy hair through complex analysis of multiple hair characteristics. The system creates a recipient site that boasts a natural looking grow site for the best aesthetic results possible. Clients may see how this recipient site will look before the procedure by using the ARTAS Hair Studio technology. The program is a 3-D photograph-based simulation of potential results. During a consultation, a physician creates an aesthetic design that the client can see while being shown different illustrated options, allowing for the client’s direct input. During the ARTAS procedure, there is no need to worry that you are being left alone with a machine performing hair transplantation. ARTAS is a physician-assisted robotic technology. The use of ARTAS expedites the procedure and eliminates natural human fatigue. This also eliminates the potential for human error previously associated with traditional surgical transplants. The advanced ARTAS system ensures a consistent graft quality throughout the minimally-invasive procedure. ARTAS Robotic Hair Transplant is a highlight of Hans Wiemann’s impressive hair restoration arsenal. “We are the only place that has it in a 750 mile radius,” Pfeiffer states. The exclusive system is ideal for those looking to get back to work and resume the daily activities of life. Hans Wiemann isn’t satisfied to only provide the best surgical transplant system around. The company wants to offer the best post surgical results. Here again is how the company stays at the forefront of hair restoration technology. Post surgical PRP treatment is offered, and recommended, for hair transplant recipients to promote healing of the surgical

STL PROFILEs

areas and inspire growth. PRP is platelet rich plasma which is obtained from the clients themselves. No chemicals or other additives are involved. The PRP is taken in a small blood sample from the patient. Then, placing the sample into a centrifuge, the blood is spun down until highly concentrated plasma remains. This plasma contains platelets that release growth factors, which have been shown to generate new hair while improving the density of already existing healthy hair. The client’s own PRP, full of those nourishing growth hormones, is then injected multiple times into the scalp for maximum hair growth opportunity. Today, the company is clearly larger than when Tim Pfeiffer took over in 2000. “We stay on the cutting edge of technology all the time,” says John Hummel, CFO of Hans Wiemann. “When Hans Wiemann originated, it only dealt with toupees and hair systems.” This technological advancement accounts for the exponential growth of the company. That growth also comes with a need for help. John Hummel is not only Tim’s partner at the company, but also in life. The two met in 1991 and have remained together since. When asked about the decision to utilize his partner in the company, Tim reasons, “It was out of necessity.” John began his work with Hans Wiemann in 2001 after only a year of Tim taking over the company. By then, it had already taken off and Tim realized he needed help from someone he could undoubtedly trust, despite the drawbacks of working with his partner in a professional setting. “We live together, we work together, that’s 24/7,” John says. “It’s difficult, we’re never down. We talk about work all the time.” “We’re always on,” Tim adds. “But we’ve made adjustments, and we’ve made it work.” Work it has. The two have enjoyed much success in the company and as a couple. Recently “the laws have caught up with us” John notes, and the two were married this past May. The duo even joke about who takes longer to do their hair in the morning, to which Tim concedes that he takes the most time. Together the two have seen tremendous progress in the Hans Wiemann company’s evolution, and they look forward to further growth together. V

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CELEBRATE EQUALITY

AT A HISTORIC MANSION IN THE HEART OF ST. LOUIS www.DEMENIL.oRG 20

November 2016

Some things are just better together. ELISA PETERSEN PHOTOGRAPHY

BIE

TA K

PIC

At Ces & Judy’s, our goal is to help you make your big day as dazzling & delicious as you would hope it to be. With a variety of menu & venue choices, including our newly renovated space at Le Chateau, we’ll help you choose a unique combination that is unique to you and your be er half.

VIEW a SAMPLE OF OUR MENUS ONLINE

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text KEVIN SCHMIDT art JULIE DENESHA

M a k i n g I t Le g a l o n Fa ce b o o k L i ve

RON WEDS JON Live in three, two, one and done. Well, not necessarily–some things are better done twice. Case in point, the talented Ron Megee and his equally creative partner Jon Fulton Adams, who recently did a “take two” of their wedding via Facebook Live. Why? For one, marriage equality is something to be celebrated. And two, social media is the best way to host a celebration where everyone is invited for next to nothing. Ron is more than just a community icon in Kansas City, best known for writing, directing and acting in–according to Vital VOICE readers–the city’s best theatre, Late Night Theatre. Jon works as a fashion designer and, with the combination of such creative minds, they brought you “nuptial nirvana,” one like, comment and share at a time.

November 2016

KC PROFILES

T he power couple has been together for

more that ten years now. In 2007, they were married in a wedding that wasn’t necessarily legal at the time, but have honored it as a marriage ever since. “We had 250 guests come to the ceremony and 350 at the reception. That was our first wedding, and we did it on the set of ‘Night of the Living Dead,’” Ron laughs. “It was a Victorian Goth wedding; it was crazy. I wore a tux, but Jon built me this beautiful ten-foot train because, you know if you’re going to get married, you need a train.” The two lived happily ever after, but things changed last year with the passing of marriage equality. And with a likely need for spousal rights to be acknowledged in more serious matters, they considered an “updated” ceremony. “Because of Jon’s recent surgery and wanting to make sure we were legal for the hospital and for me to be able to visit and help make the decisions, we decided to legally get married this past September on Facebook Live,” Ron explains. “We did that because it was so spur of the moment, we were like, ‘how do we invite all of our friends?’ Jon was like, ‘Why don’t we just go live?’ And I just thought, “Genius!” It all happened an hour before the ceremony, and we just went live with it. Ron claims to be the first Kansas City couple to go live with their wedding, and we’re going with it. “There were more than 2,000 views along with all of our friends congratulating us,” he says. “It’s interesting because we’ve been together for so long, but the only difference is that now I can sign paperwork and doctors can talk to me, which was very exciting. A couple years ago, I wasn’t allowed into the hospital and it was really a traumatic time because I had to throw a fit, and even then I would not be allowed to go in. So it’s wonderful that our government and our world accept us now.” Ten years later, having that piece of paper is vital. “Besides the simple things like taxes and all of that,

it’s the legal right that we can support each other in times of crisis or in happy times; it’s a valuable document.” While some are weary of the changes that may come along with marriage, Ron notes of no such dramatic shift. “We still get up and have our coffee together in the morning, and we still support each other and share our dreams and our lives. It’s just really fun to know that the rings on our fingers mean that, for life, you get to be with your best friend. He knows that I have his back and, well, love is interesting isn’t it?” Satisfaction comes at no cost; it’s simply out of your perspective. “To be happy, we don’t need all the money in the world, but it’s the company that we surround ourselves with that is the most important thing,” Ron explains. “It’s what we decided when we moved into our home in Northeast Kansas City, an area that was cheaper to live in so we could pursue our dreams– he could do fashion and costumes, and I could do theater. I think that’s a big deal in a relationship, that both are happy in what they are doing.” When it comes to the future, Ron looks to how he’s already been living these past ten years with Jon. “Well, we always hope for happily ever after,” he says. “We want to keep striving to do our art, get his fashion site on track, remodel our home, make sure we give Sundays to each other, and always be able to just sit together, drinking coffee and eating pancakes.” After all, it’s the little things that get you through the tough times, and make the good times even better. “The biggest problem we all are having now is that we are wanting more and more, but you don’t need it,” Ron explains. “As long as you surround yourself with the right people, you can enjoy life anywhere. And travel. I need to go to Disneyworld. I grew up in Anaheim, so I know Disneyland like it’s nobody’s business, but I’ve never been to the ‘World.’” V

Ron’s Wedding

Do’s AND Do n ’ t s Do Whatever You Want. “I had friends who did a Star Wars theme, and we went to a friends wedding this past summer which was very classic and beautiful, but then he had a floor show. So it was fun to combine their families with us Bohemians. The thing is that you are out to have a good time. If there is a stress level, then you may need to rethink this.” Don’t Do Burlap. “Everyone is doing burlap. Country weddings: stop that. If I have to drink out of a mason jar one more time I’m going to scream. I love to can, don’t get me wrong, but I just can’t drink another fancy cocktail out of a mason jar again.” Do Marry Your Best Friend. In fact, make sure of it. “The main thing is that getting married is a right that we’ve deserved from the very beginning; it’s not taboo or anything. It’s a union between two people, and it’s a commitment to show your love.” Don’t Try and Please Your Guests. “Go for what you two love, and let that blossom out. People try to appease everybody–including family–but the first thing should be you two together. Several of our lesbian friends got married out in the woods, all hippie-dippie, and it was just stunning because you knew that you were there for just them.” Do Serve Bacon-Wrapped Scallops. “Do I even need to elaborate on this?” Don’t’ Use the Color Peach. “It’s off limits.”

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Open October 29! Free admission

Lindell & DeBaliviere in Forest Park

314.746.4599 | mohistory.org

ust received.

DF. Needed by October 15th! at a table with the center piece.(??) Credit to photographer; Emily Iovaldi

tion experts about planning your big day.

Enduring love calls for an iconic setting.

Taguchi Beisaku; Distant View of Fengtianfu: The Bivouac of Japanese Troops, 1894; woodblock prints; Gift of Mr. and Mrs. Charles A. Lowenhaupt 271:2010ac

Conflicts of Interest Art and War in Modern Japan

Speak with our celebration experts about planning your big day.

Open through January 8, 2017

For ticket information, visit slam.org/conflicts

Open Tuesday–Sunday

6300 Clayton Road • St Louis, MO 314.647.7300 • CheshireSTL.com 24

November 2016

Photo By Emily Lovaldi

One Fine Arts Drive, Forest Park Financial assistance for this project has been provided by the Missouri Arts council, a state agency.

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There’s progressive design, and there’s design that’s pushed to the leading edge. That’s where you’ll find the NX. From the technological innovations of the turbocharged NX 200t, to the dynamic design of the F SPORT, to the exceptional combined fuel economy rating of the Hybrid, the Lexus NX goes beyond everything you thought a crossover SUV could be.

LEXUS MAKES THE CAR. MUNGENAST MAKES THE DIFFERENCE. 26

November 2016

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Picture Your Wedding At Christ Church Cathedral St. Louis’ Premier Wedding Venue

Christ Church Cathedral welcomes all couples desiring a Christian marriage ceremony, and invites you to host your special day in our breathtakingly beautiful, sacred space. Located in downtown St. Louis, the Cathedral is the seat of the Episcopal Diocese of Missouri. Our congregation, founded in 1819, was the first Episcopal church west of the Mississippi. The Episcopal Church in the U.S. is part of the worldwide Anglican Communion, with all of its diverse traditions in faith. We are a diverse congregation where the dignity of every individual is valued and respected.

lton

Photo by Tim K. Hami

T he P erfecT W edding V enue

Photo by

Tim K. Ha

We are central to a wide variety of attractions, hotels and reception venues our city has to offer. For couples not affiliated with Christ Church Cathedral, you may secure the clergyperson of your choice, or we can provide a referral to ministers in our area. milton

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Large Weddings in the Cathedral Nave (seats 200+) n Member of Episcopal Diocese of MO — $1,500 n Episcopalians living outside the Diocese of MO — $2,000 n Non-Episcopalians — $2,500 Small Weddings in Bofinger Chapel (seats 50) n All Weddings — $750 For more information contact: administrator@christchurchcathedral.us or (314) 231-3454 *All prices include consultation, rehearsal, organist (except Chapel), security, fresh altar bouquets and photo opportunities after ceremony.

anda Caulkin Photo by Mir

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Hamilton

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The

Guide

November 2016

The Vital VOICE Wedding Guide is back this month, bigger than ever with 11 different participants to make your special day truly original. From caterers creating culinary masterpieces, unique venues tailored to anyoneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s style, classic churches to modern hotels, weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got something for every step of the planning process. Let the Guide take you along the way and, remember, always trust your instincts in the planning process. Cheers to Marriage Equality: letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s honor and celebrate new traditions together. thevitalVOICE.com

s ’ t e e r c u a s c e h t n e i S Who gets the last bite? Oops, too late. That’s what happens when this level of culinary wizardry is right in your own backyard. From Palermo to Puerto Rico, the globe is well represented, as is our homegrown comfort food, from flash-fried spinach to fried green tomatoes. Find out why The Advocate called us “…the LGBT beacon of the Midwest.” Check out our impressive packages at explorestlouis.com/LGBT

November 2016

St. Louis Visitors & Convention Bureau EXPLORESTLOUIS.COM

701 CONVENTION PLAZA #300, ST. LOUIS, MO 63101

(314) 421-1023

Believe it or not, St. Louisans know how to have a good time and want to share the best of their hometown with all visitors. To quote St. Louis Mayor Francis Slay, one element central to this community is “our willingness to celebrate our diversity.”

Marry Me IN SAINT LOUIE No matter when you visit, St. Louis is always filled with festivals, theatre, musical performances and spectacular events that are sure to please. With stunning and unique architecture, an array of both outdoor and indoor event venues, and a booming original culinary scene, St. Louis is a smart and stylish destination to host a special event. Explore St. Louis is the official destination marketing organization for St. Louis City and County. Brian Hall, Chief Marketing Officer for Explore St. Louis, explains what the organization does to promote inclusiveness and share St. Louis as a LGBT destination for weddings of all kinds.

adjacent to an image of Busch Stadium, home of the St. Louis Cardinals.” The campaign is now in its fourth year, and the organization continues to add markets and new messages. “We’re particularly excited about the Marriage Equality Act and the resulting marriages regularly taking place in St. Louis,” Hall says. “With a host of iconic backdrops, historic sites, lushly landscaped gardens and beautiful venues, St. Louis is certain to exceed any expectations.”

“St. Louis has always been a warm and welcoming community to visitors – it is our Midwestern way. To showcase our vibrant LGBT community, we established an LGBT marketing taskforce in 2011.” One of the first steps Explore St. Louis took before engaging in any marketing was to ensure that they had policies that were inclusive and LGBT-friendly. “We worked with leaders within the LGBT community, including Vital VOICE, to pioneer a marketing campaign to attract LGBT travelers from markets like Indianapolis, Kansas City, Nashville and Louisville,” Hall explains. To unite their efforts, they created a logo that combined the colors of the LGBT rainbow with the official city flag, presenting St. Louis as a friendly and inclusive destination. “This mark became so popular in our community that many featured it as a bumper sticker showing their pride in the openness of St. Louis,” Hall says. Building on the momentum, Explore St. Louis was among the first destination marketing organizations in the United States to introduce an advertising campaign dedicated to attracting members for the LGBT community. “The campaign consists of a series of ads featuring lines from classic movies against the contemporary backdrop of St. Louis,” Hall explains. “For example, one ad headline reads, ‘Diamonds are a girl’s best friend,’ thevitalVOICE.com

Perfect Wedding Guide PERFECTWEDDINGGUIDE.COM Your ultimate St. Louis and Kansas City Wedding Guide provides vendors with more avenues to reach couples through print, Internet, leads, wedding shows and networking. Follow them on Facebook to learn what are the hottest wedding trends, the best vendors in the St. Louis and Kansas City area, the things you need to know when planning your wedding and the most awesome giveaways. Looking for something specific? They would love to help. Let them cater to you and help you plan the wedding of your dreams.

About PERFECT WEDDING GUIDE Perfect Wedding Guide is the nationâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s #1 local resource for couples. They connect couples to businesses every day. They understand how exciting, yet challenging, planning a wedding can be, but their fun, useful and free products, tips and trends help make the wedding planning less of a chore and more of a treat.

The TIPS 1. No matter how far in the future your wedding is, whether two months or two years, the place to start is with your

budget. Most of the stress that couples encounter regarding their wedding has to do with overspending. A short round of budget planning will help you avoid that stress. Remember, it is important to figure out not only what you want to spend overall on your wedding, but also how you want that money spent.

2. Wedding Shows are a great way to meet lots of wedding professionals in every category all at one time. Look for a

list of vendors prior to the show so you can decide whom you absolutely want to meet, and make sure to give them your information and request a follow-up meeting. Also, donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t forget a camera. Photos are a great way to trigger your memory about things that interested you, and you will capture some great memories from planning your wedding.

November 2016

Ces & Judy’s Catering CESANDJUDYS.COM

10405 CLAYTON RD., ST. LOUIS, MO 63131

(314) 991-6700

Award Winning Ces & Judy’s Catering has been creating dazzling & delicious events and cuisine for 35 years. Their newly renovated ballroom, Le Chateau, is the perfect place for hosting ceremonies, wedding receptions and even rehearsal dinners. Ceremonies are held in the Round Room, which has a fireplace and balcony, and sets the ambiance for a romantic ceremony and/or cocktail reception. The main ballroom has a spacious area, surrounded by scenic windows and a beautiful mantle to use as a backdrop to your sweetheart table.

The SERVICES

The CES & JUDY’S TOUCH

While they can provide many types of custom menus and packages, their standard wedding packages are fully inclusive, which is a little different from other catering companies. Each package includes: Served or Buffet dinner, four-hour bar package, permanent dance floor, private use of their newly renovated ballrooms, full-service by their uniformed service staff, complimentary cake cutting, tables and chairs, and your choice of black or ivory linens.

One of the things Ces & Judy’s is known for is their miniature hors d’oeurves and drink pairings. Whether it’s a bite size taco resting in a lime wedge with a mini margarita, or a tiny grilled cheese with a mini rum and coke in a tiny soda bottle, they love to give guests something they haven’t seen before, and something they’ll remember.

The MENU Ces & Judy’s always match the menu to each individual client. Whether it be traditional French, Indian or good old-fashioned comfort food, they take great pride in tailoring your menu to suit your particular needs. Their catering managers take the time to meet with each couple and really get to know them during their scheduled complimentary tasting. Head Chef Mary Noble creates unique and delicious menus that meet the budget and taste buds of each client. There are also a variety of vegetarian dinner plates as well.

They also love creating custom menus that showcase what is important to each couple. Whether it is utilizing local ingredients, dazzling guests with a flashy flambé station, or mimicking Grandma’s favorites, the Ces & Judy’s team loves to think outside of the box to create what is important to the couple and their families to make the perfect event.

thevitalVOICE.com

Butler’s Pantry BUTLERSPANTRY.COM

1414 PARK AVE, ST. LOUIS, MO 63104

(314) 664-7680

Since 1966, Butler’s Pantry has been committed to excellence in cuisine, service and overall event experience. They take pride in treating each client like they are the only, in hopes of exceeding expectations. From President to Sales Manager, Service Captain to Culinary, Team BP truly loves creating one-of-a-kind experiences for all clients. At the end of the day, it is their goal to ensure you can be a guest. After all, it’s your table. It’s their passion.

Text MAGGIE (EICHWALD) BARTON

Did you know that Butler’s Pantry features a new Venue Tool on their website that takes your event specifics and suggests St. Louis venues? From Grand to Intimate, they surely have the perfect setting for your nuptials. Here are a couple favorites

Grand | PALLADIUM SAINT LOUIS, LAFAYETTE SQUARE Modern Formal. Relaxed Sophistication. Delicate State-of-the-Art. GRAND. With room for up to 700 standing and 400 seated, Palladium Saint Louis is the distinctive choice for couples seeking contemporary grandeur and sheer size. Vacant since 1985, the 6,500 square foot site was built in 1937 as the laundry facility for City Hospital. Designer Mark Herman created a sophisticated ambiance combining sleek décor and state-of-the-art audio visual. The best part? You can do very little or go totally over the top to make this space feel like your own.

Intimate | JOULE SAINT LOUIS, LAFAYETTE SQUARE Raw. Unique. Energy. INTIMATE. Joule (pronounced Jewel) is a piece of history brought back to life. This 4,200 square foot site was used as the original machine hall for the City Hospital’s Power Plant. You can feel the energy in this space – the original operating crane remains, suspended from the existing truss work; exposed brick surrounds massive 19’ windows that span the entire length of the room; and an aged iron feature wall make the space truly unique. Searching for outdoor space? Look no further: Joule features an outdoor plaza, perfect for cocktails under the stars.

The Perfect Pair | JOULE SAINT LOUIS & PALLADIUM SAINT LOUIS Ceremony into reception, cocktail hour into dinner - why not use both spaces? Joule offers a fantastic setting for wedding ceremonies or cocktail hours. Connected by the outdoor plaza, guests can then seamlessly move on to dinner and dancing at Palladium Saint Louis. These two renovated wonders are truly the perfect pair. V

November 2016

Moonrise Hotel MOONRISEHOTEL.COM

6177 DELMAR BLVD., ST. LOUIS, MO 63112

(314) 721-1111

The difference is night and day...The Moonrise Hotel blends cool modern design and quirky sophistication to create a truly unique and memorable boutique hotel experience for you and your guests. The hotel is perfect for intimate wedding ceremonies and receptions, rehearsal dinners, wedding brunches, bridal showers and guest room accommodations. Centrally located in the Delmar Loop – one of St. Louis’ most vibrant shopping, dining, and entertainment districts – they are proud to be one of the region’s leading green hotels, as well as a pet-friendly hotel. LGBT weddings and events are always welcome.

What THEY DO Private events for wedding ceremonies, receptions, rehearsal dinners, private dinners, brunches and luncheons. Guest room accommodations ranging from their 660 square foot Walk of Fame Suites, to Jacuzzi King Rooms, to their Superior King and Queen Rooms. Utilize a block of 20+ guest rooms and enjoy a complimentary Walk of Fame Suite the night of the wedding, or come back for a free night on your anniversary.

What THEY OFFER The hotel offers plated dinners, buffet dinners, cocktail receptions and brunches in a variety of options to appeal to most pallets. The most popular services they provide are heavy hors d’oeuvres-style cocktail receptions and sleeping room accommodations. They work with every client to help create an event that is personalized to their vision and budget, and it helps that their venue and event spaces are quite unique to the city of St. Louis. The private event spaces can be reserved up to 18 months prior to the event date. The earlier the reservation is made, the better, as dates during peak wedding months of April through October can book up very quickly.

The TIPS Plan as much as possible in advance and assign a day-of coordinator, whether it is a professional, friend or family member, so that when the “Big Day” does arrive, you can kick back, relax (as much as possible) and enjoy your special day. And be sure to be nice to your vendors, as they will be much more willing to go the extra mile for you if you treat them with kindness and appreciation.

thevitalVOICE.com

Chatillon-DeMenil Mansion DEMINIL.ORG

3352 DEMINIL PLACE, ST. LOUIS, MO 63118

(314) 771-5828

The Chatillon-DeMenil House Foundation is a nonprofit organization charged with the running and maintaining the Chatillon-DeMenil mansion. In order to do so, they hold events in their carriage house and give guided tours. The foundation was established after the destruction of the mansion and the surrounding buildings, including the Lemp mansion and Lemp Brewery. Currently, they run an up and coming event venue that caters to all people for whatever event they may desire.

The PACKAGES There are a variety of booking options for the mansion, from use of the Gazebo ($550) or the Carriage House ($750-900) to the Mansion parlor ($400). Their most popular service is and eight-hour Carriage House Package with the added Bridal Changing Suite. They have more wedding and receptions at the mansion than any other event. Most brides and/or grooms prefer to get ready on site and have their photos on location, then have both the wedding and reception in one setting.

The TIPS Book your event at least two months in advance. If it is a smaller event, three weeks to a month is preferable. Most times, a lot of decor is not needed, as the venue is the kind that does not require much to have a beautiful wedding. Their best tip is to find a place that has a natural beauty and stress will be kept at bay when hundreds of decorations do not have to be accounted for.

The CHATILLION-DEMENIL TOUCH The Chatillon-DeMenil prides itself on a small personable staff and historic beauty. They are different from most historical mansion venues in that they have spacious grounds and thriving gardens in addition to the Victorian, Greek Revival Mansion. They are also very flexible with what clients can and cannot use and do not charge per chair or table. In short, they do not â&#x20AC;&#x153;nickel and dimeâ&#x20AC;? you. There are staff members on hand during the events, but stay in the background as not to be in the way. They allow pets at the venue, as long as they are cleaned up after and do not go inside the building, and they even provide water bowls for them. The biggest personal touch is the use of the Mansion, where normally couples would have to pay for photos at different venues. They do not charge for a photo session anywhere in the Mansion or grounds, as long as you have an event that day. They also give you from 10 a.m. on the day of your event until your event start time to set up without charge. 38

November 2016

23 City Blocks Catering LUMEN LUMENSTL.COM 2201 LOCUST STREET, ST. LOUIS, MO 63103 (314) 771-5828 THE CARAMEL ROOM CARAMELROOM.COM 1600 N. BROADWAY, ST. LOUIS, MO 63102 (314) 615-2480 23 City Blocks Catering’s Executive Chef Nicholas Miller crafts from the freshest local ingredients, presenting plates with artistic flair. The Caramel Room and Lumen Private Event Space’s team assures that you and your guests are impressed at every bite. Catering has never tasted so pretty.

The VENUES

Why 23 CITY BLOCKS

Lumen’s modern style, premium service and contemporary flair just stepped up the game. New silver chiavari chairs, stainless steel bar with chandeliers and updated hardwood floors are just the beginning. No worries though, guests still awe over floor-to-ceiling windows and a state-of-the-art LED lighting system.

23 City Blocks provides a full service catering venue plus loves off-site catering. They provide bar, linens, culinary and much more. They are happy to provide full service at one of their locations or yours, including private homes. Menus range from southern comfort food to elegant seven-course wine pairing dinners – a crowd favorite is the Scallop Corndog with a Bissinger’s White Chocolate Pomegranate Mustard. Celebrated by all guests who have been served by the team, the synchronized service is a crowd favorite.

The Caramel Room at Bissinger’s blends equal amounts of chic and sweet at St. Louis’ newest and most sought after wedding venue. Beaming natural light, hardwood floors, an outdoor terrace featuring river and skyline views and chocolate-infused culinary adventures, all encompassed within a working chocolate factory, give a feeling of an intimacy and magic to a wedding of any size.

The TIPS Set your budget and help yourselves by deciding your ‘must haves’, and what you’re prepared to be more flexible about. As long as you have fun and enjoy yourselves in both the planning process and the actual day, you really can do whatever you like. Lastly, while the small details are fun and important, don’t sweat the small stuff or let little wrong turns ruin your day. Flying into your reception by a magical unicorn isn’t what makes the perfect wedding, marrying the love of your life does. However, please call them if you do have a unicorn. They’re in.

Their service standards are as high as our culinary standards. Each event is assigned a personal event captain who is on-site throughout the entire event, assuring every detail is executed and any requests are handled seamlessly. In addition, their culinary team is determined to customize every menu, bringing a little bit of each of you into the experience.

thevitalVOICE.com

RSVP Events & Travel RSVPEVENTSONLINE.COM

17281 CHESTERFIELD AIRPORT RD., CHESTERFIELD, MO 63123

(636) 778-1081

Travel Leaders/RSVP Events & Travel is a full service travel agency located in Chesterfield Valley with specialties in destination weddings, honeymoons, group and incentive travel and vacations for the traveler who wants to create lifelong memories. Destination Weddings by RSVP is a division of Travel Leaders/RSVP Events & Travel founded specifically to serve the unique wants and needs of engaged and newly married couples.

What THEY DO

The RSVP TOUCH

When RSVP Events & Travel are trusted with helping to plan a couple’s destination wedding, they know they’ve just been given a unique opportunity to help them create the most incredible day of their lives. They don’t take that privilege lightly. Your personal destination wedding travel specialist will work with you to build a wedding package for you and your guests that reflects you and the life you’re building together. As you create your dream wedding experience, they handle all of the travel arrangements for you and your guests, regardless of where they are traveling from. Their travel specialists have visited nearly all of the destinations their clients are interested in, so they can provide first hand guidance in the best destination, best resort and best activities for your particular budget, needs and wants. They handle flights, tours, all-inclusive resort vacations, ocean and river cruises, rail tours, adventure travel (like safaris), and other types of travel for honeymoons, getaways, large groups and family vacations.

RSVP Events & Travel does not sell cookie cutter travel packages. Each travel package is created uniquely for one client, you. Their agents are experts in particular destinations and are there for you before, during and after your trip. If something happens to go wrong (like a flight delay or cancellation), they are just a phone call or text away to help get you where you need to go with as little interruption as possible. Their agents are authentic, honest and care about the experience and memories you will create while you’re away. They can handle last minute bookings, but for best options available to you and your traveling companion(s) it is best to book as far in advance as possible.

What THEY OFFER When you book a wedding or honeymoon, which includes flights and accommodations at a resort, hotel or cruise line, there are no extra fees as the travel agents charge our clients. They are compensated by our resort partners and travel suppliers. Their most popular destinations are Mexico, the Caribbean and Europe. They’ve even planned a gorgeous destination wedding in Croatia. Marcie Boyle, Owner – marcie@rsvpeventsonline.com Melissa Gladney, Destination Wedding Specialist – mgladney@travelleaders.com 40

November 2016

Gamlin Restaurant Group SUB ZERO SUBZEROVODKABAR.COM 308 N. EUCLID AVE., ST. LOUIS, MO 63108 GAMLIN GAMLINWHISKEYHOUSE.COM 236 N. EUCLID AVE., ST. LOUIS, MO 63108

(314) 367-1200 (314) 875-9500

Since its inception, Sub Zero Vodka Bar has developed the most extensive drink list in the St. Louis area. In fact, only Sub Zero Vodka Bar can truthfully claim the largest selection of vodka in the country. A unique sushi program and award-winning American burger menu round out the Sub Zero dining experience to create a one-of-a-kind environment in the Central West End.

Why SUBZERO/GAMLIN

The GAMLIN TOUCH

Sub Zero is a great spot for a unique bachelor or bachelorette party, or a laid back post-wedding brunch. Their private dining room can accommodate up to 45 guests for a seated or cocktail function, featuring its own private bar and vodka selection. Gamlin Whiskey House is the perfect venue for a rehearsal dinner or casual post-wedding brunch. The Barrel Room at GWH can accommodate up to 55 guests for a seated or cocktail style function, while the Wine Cellar can seat 20 guests for a more intimate affair.

Sub Zero has many options to help give your event a personal touch. Whether it’s creating a signature martini with the couple’s tastes in mind, or starting your event with a custom sushi rolling station, their event planning team is there to make sure your celebration is unlike anything you or your guests have experienced before. Gamlin Whiskey House offers signature cocktail options, along with personalized whiskey and wine tastings to make your event unique. Couples can work with their executive chef to create a five-course tasting menu with whiskey pairings for a truly special event

The MENU Sub Zero offers a unique sushi and American burger based menu, with options for cocktail style or seated dinner and brunch functions. Gamlin Whiskey House offers classic steakhouse and seafood fare with a unique St. Louis-style twist. Packages are available for a cocktail affair, seated dinner, and seated or buffet brunch. Sub Zero is known for its extensive cocktail menu and large selection of vodka; it’s a great place to get the party started. Gamlin Whiskey House offers a large selection of unique whiskeys that lends itself to many spirited toasts and celebrations.

thevitalVOICE.com

Christ Church Cathedral CHRISTCHURCHCATHEDRAL.US

1210 LOCUST ST., ST. LOUIS, MO 63103

(314) 231-3454

Christ Church Cathedral, the Episcopal Cathedral of the Diocese of Missouri built in 1819, has long been an advocate and home for St. Louis’ LGBTQIA community. CCC is a diverse community, focused on worship, prayer, outreach and social justice initiatives. The Cathedral welcomes all couples desiring a Christian marriage ceremony, and so consider hosting your special day in their beautiful sacred space.

The CHURCH

The TIPS

Christ Church Cathedral offers two venues for weddings: The Nave, which is the main worship area of the Cathedral and seats 200. The Bofinger Chapel, a smaller chapel inside the Nave, seats 50. The Nave has three price points: $1500 for members of The Episcopal Diocese of Missouri; $2000 for members of The Episcopal Church but outside of the Diocese of Missouri; and $2500 and for friends from another tradition. Bofinger Chapel has one price point, a flat rate of $750 regardless of one’s affiliation. All prices at the cathedral include initial consultation, rehearsal, fresh altar flowers, security detail, music, custodial needs, dressing rooms and your wedding coordinator.

Plan for Ushers: Ushers are often overlooked in the planning process, but they can be a lifesaver. Find 3-4 trustworthy friends (who are not also in the wedding party) to pass out programs, and calmly and reverently seat your friends and loved ones. And let’s be honest, you will want someone to greet the latecomers and lead them quietly to a seat than walk halfway up the middle aisle to find their own seat.

Why CHRIST CHURCH The Bells: Word is out that they have some really beautiful sounding bells in their bell tower. Couples often ask about the bells, and their ringing is part of any package they offer. When the hour of ceremony strikes, ringing begins; at their end, the service begins. It is a centering moment on an already beautiful day. The Service: A person from the cathedral will be your wedding day coordinator. They reach out a month ahead of schedule, go over the details of the day, and work through any important information with you as it relates to the space in the church. They welcome you to the rehearsal, and help coordinate things the day of your wedding—such as getting your party down the aisle, helping to position people where they need to be, and more. They are like a wedding planner—but for the ceremony portion of your big day.

November 2016

Eat something small and drink water before the ceremony: Many couples and their wedding party have a long day of dressing, prepping, and posing, and can easily overlook hydration and nutrition. Don’t get “hangry,” as it can be a while between the ending of a service and the reception. Be sure to read your venue contracts: Venues often have policies and procedures in place about the way they do things, and often for good reason. Examples might include an alcohol policy, a time restriction, flower protocols or specific music requirements. Don’t let yourself be surprised.

Parkway Hotel THEPARKWAYHOTEL.COM

4550 FOREST PARK AVE.., ST. LOUIS, MO 63108

(314) 256-7777

The Parkway Hotel is an independently owned hotel by an affluent family that lives in Kansas City. They own other businesses located in Kansas City as well, but the Parkway Hotel is their only hotel. They pride themselves on their excellent customer service and amazing location. The Parkway Hotel is close to dozens of wedding venues, Forest Park, Missouri Botanical Gardens and many locations that make for the perfect picture.

Parkway EXCLUSIVES

Complimentary AMENITIES

· A Romance Package for newlyweds, including a ro-

· Hot breakfast buffet including healthy choices

mantic movie, champagne and chocolates.

· A black Mercedes that provides Airport Drop Off only. This needs to be scheduled in advance, first come/first serve. $40 charge.

· The Parkway Hotel allows their guests to bring in

food and beverage including alcohol from the catering company of their choice.

· Designated sales manager that specializes in making the wedding process smooth and as stress free as possible.

· Meeting space for hospitality, gift opening, rehearsal dinner or welcome reception, Sunday brunch, and hair and makeup room.

· Group Blocks: These should be booked as soon as

the dates are selected. Reserve early to ensure that they have the number of guestrooms you require and to get the best rate. As the dates begin filling up, the rates do increase.

(scrambled egg whites and veggie patties), 24 hour hot coffee/ hot tea, fresh baked cookies and popcorn at designated times and WI-FI

· Free Shuttle Service from 6:30 a.m. to 9:15 p.m. The shuttle seats 13 passengers. It is important to book your shuttle needs ASAP to get the times needed. Shuttle is on a first come/first serve basis.

· After Hours Shuttle also needs to be reserved in ad-

vance. $85 per hour/one hour minimum. Start time at 9:30 p.m. Payment due at the time you reserve.

The TIPS · Know ahead of time if your wedding date falls on

the same day as a trade conference, charity walk or other local event that could affect traffic and hotel room availability.

· As soon as you’ve picked a date, start to look for

your hotel and get the rooms reserved. If the hotels you contact insist upon contracts with cancellation penalties, just say no—you don’t want to be responsible for rooms you can’t fill.

· Pay attention to your cutoff date. Hotels hold room blocks for a limited time regardless if it is a courtesy block like the Parkway Hotel does or if they require a contract to be signed. You will want to encourage your family and friends to make those reservations before the cutoff date, which is normally 30 days prior to arrival. After the cutoff, the discounted rate will no longer apply.

· Create a fun welcome bag for your guests that re-

flects St. Louis (Fitz’s Root Beer, Billy Goat Chips, Bissinger’s Chocolates, mini gooey butter cakes, Gus’ Pretzels, Beer from a local micro-brewery, and don’t forget that little sewing kit for that button that always seems to fall off when you are in a hurry. thevitalVOICE.com

text TYLER BIERMAN art DARIN SLYMAN

S t e ve D e l a n e y

text KALEIGH JURGENSMEYER art COURTESY OF STAGES ST. LOUIS

5 0 0 W E D D I N G S WO RT H O F W I S D O M

S in c e 200 6 , M i n i s t e r Steve Del aney has per for med hu ndre ds of w ed d i n gs . I n f a ct , o n O ctober 1 , Del aney cel ebrated the i n c red i bl e m i l e s to n e o f o fficiating 5 00 wedding s in his care e r. We t h i n k t ha t’s a m a z i n g, so we cou l dn’ t resis t pick ing his b rai n t o lea rn m o re a bo u t hi m , his p rocess and the ins ide scoop on t h e w ed d i n g w o r l d .

November 2016

LIFE GUIDE Early in your career, you worked in Washington DC for the legalization of same-sex marriage. As a minister, how did you combat those of the religious belief that same-sex marriage is immoral? What I always do is encourage them to go back and read the gospel. If you look at Christ’s actions coming from a Christian standpoint, he associated with sinners. He associated with the outcasts, the marginalized, the hookers and the thieves. That was his close circle. So for anyone to go in and judge and handpick which rights someone should have is the most anti-Christian thing you someone can do. What’s your process like from consultation to reception? My process is very streamlined but flexible. I get most of my couples by referral. From there, it’s all about the details—the date, amount of people, location, pricing. Once they say ‘yes’ and sign the contract, they’re considered booked. Then we schedule an in-person meeting to discuss and go over a bunch of my samples, from religious prayers to unity candles. I have a lot of themes, but there’s a ton of new things that people are doing now that I always encourage. After that meeting, I go home and I create their ceremony for them but, of course, we make changes along the way. You are known as one of the top wedding officiants in the Midwest. What puts your service head-andshoulders above the rest? I think a lot of it is the experience. It’s being able to work with not only couples, but vendors and venues and caterers. I was a nervous wreck for my first 25 weddings or so, but as I did more, I got more comfortable. I started to learn how to read people better and now I can begin formulating ideas just from talking to a couple about what they want. I’ve even had wedding coordinators tell me, ‘Oh, you don’t need me here for this. You’ve got everything covered.’ However, I believe there’s also an air of theater that’s

involved. You have to be able to project and create a presence. You have to be able to take control because as soon as the congregation sees you, they know that we’re starting. Or at a rehearsal, a wedding coordinator can only do so much. They can’t walk you through the ceremony, so really you have to be a director, a producer and an actor all rolled into one. Is marriage counseling still a thing or is it out? It’s a service I offer, but I don’t really get a lot of couples that want it. Most of the couples I get are the type that have been dating since high school, they’re in their mid-twenties, they went to college together and now they live together. They’ve already done most of the steps and they know each other’s quirks, so now I’m just a conduit to make it legal for them so that they get the benefits that married couples get. How have weddings evolved in the decade you’ve been performing them? I’ve found that after 500 weddings, couples are more imaginative than ever. They don’t want the ‘dearly beloved, we are gathered here today’ speech from every other wedding. They want something more candid and personal; something that isn’t completely cookie-cutter yet still meets the legal requirements. Being able to do that is something that I pride myself on. Obviously, weddings are a stressful time for all parties involved. Have you ever dealt with a true “bridezilla?” There was one wedding I officiated at the Jefferson Memorial. I took the time to walk the bride through everything she had to do in order to use this venue. I gave her a copy of the rules and we should have been clear, but apparently we weren’t. The morning of, I see a party rental truck pulling up to the venue to set up chairs and I knew there was trouble. When they told me they were here to set up chairs I said, ‘No you’re not. If that chair touches one blade of grass, you’re getting fined, the bride’s

going to jail, I’m getting a fine and that’s not going to happen.’ But the bride was adamant about these chairs. At this point, there were three national park officers watching us. Let me tell you, she was real close to going to jail that day. She argued with me, she argued with the national parks service. Finally, they had to tell her, ‘If you put down these chairs, I will cuff you in your wedding dress and take you down to central booking. You will be in front of a federal judge in less than 24 hours and you will be in jail.’ Luckily we finally talked her down and the wedding went great from there. What’s the most important advice you give to couples that you’re marrying? It’s the process of getting them to understand reality vs. the picture in their head. I did a lesbian wedding where one of the brides brought in an itinerary that was down to the minute. I had to help her realize that that wasn’t going to work. No wedding ever starts on time. So I told her, ‘Yes, it is your day and yes, it is going to be a perfect wedding, but not every aspect is going to be perfect. Something is going to go wrong. Don’t worry about it.’ As a wedding officiant, you are privy to a unique view of the entire process. What do you see that might surprise people to hear? You are right there in the middle of the bride and groom and you can see the bridal party and you can see the family and the guests and it’s a completely different vantage point. You can see the tears coming from the family and the friends. You can see the laughter when there’s a joke that the couple asks you to work into the ceremony. It’s amazing. It’s one of the most amazing views you can imagine seeing all that love and happiness staring up at you. To find out more about Steve Delaney and to inquire about booking him for your big day, you can find him on the web at TieTheKnotSTL.com. V

thevitalVOICE.com

November 2016

new exhibit

now open

dig deeper at slsc.org/grow

It’s your special day. We’ll make it extra special.

Celebrate in style and let Hyatt Regency St. Louis at The Arch provide the perfect setting for your wedding. Choose from dynamic grand ballrooms, the inviting Park View room or the memorable rooftop Gateway Ballroom and terrace overlooking the Gateway Arch. For more information, call 314 342 4655 or visit stlouisarch.regency.hyatt.com. HYATT REGENCY ST. LOUIS AT THE ARCH 315 Chestnut Street St. Louis, Missouri, USA, 63102 The trademarks HYATT®, Hyatt Regency®, and related marks are trademarks of Hyatt Corporation. ©2016 Hyatt Corporation. All rights reserved.

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47 10/24/2016 9:32:25 AM

K ENA DI E S T. J A ME S

F i n d s Lov e No r t h o f t h e B o r d e r text KALEIGH JURGENSMEYER art DARIN SLYMAN

Kenadie Crossley and Michael DiFruscio will exchange vows at City Hall this December, with a larger ceremony next September in St. Catherine, Ontario. From the beginning, it was a whirlwind of a relationship filled with love, laughter and everything in between. Crossley and DiFruscio had been friends on Facebook for some time before officially meeting at a pageant in Springfield, Mo. Kenadie was in charge of a girl’s makeup, while Michael was the clothing designer. Michael remembers the day vividly. “I was putting together an outfit for a pageant girl and she [Kenadie] had walked in and I just said, ‘that’s her.’ And the girl was like, ‘Yeah, that’s Kenadie; she’s doing makeup.’ You know, she thought I was just pointing her out, but that’s not what I meant. I actually was saying, ‘That’s her – that’s my other half.’” 48

November 2016

Both DiFruscio and Kenadie didn’t believe in love at first sight until it happened. And from then on, they didn’t spend more than a week apart. Michael, originally from Ontario, was going back and forth from Canada to be with Kenadie in St. Louis. “He would run home and pay rent and take care of things there, and then he’d run back to me,” Kenadie laughs. “But we needed to be together at the same place at the same time. We knew we wanted to be together and we both knew where it was going.” Michael proposed this past August in a tender moment with Kenadie’s mom and close friends present. “My mom was up to visit and I was at work two days before my birthday,” Kenadie says. “So my mom showed up before I got off work with some flowers and she said ‘I have a surprise for you,’ and I turned around and there he was. Michael came there a day early, so I was all excited. But the real surprise was when he said, ‘I talked to your mom and I have a question for you.’” Reaching into his back pocket, Michael pulled out a ring that he designed himself. “I was shaking,” he remembers. “But I don’t know why I was nervous, it’s not like she was going to say no.” Though it’s only been a few months since their engagement, the wedding planning

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process is in full swing for this couple. The City Hall ceremony will be an intimate gathering of Kenadie’s closest friends and family, while the “real” wedding next fall be larger and more formal. The venue, set at Club Roma in the Niagara region, will include a sit down dinner for their close to 250 guests. One of Michael’s cousins will actually be marrying the couple. “Michael comes from a big family, so we wanted to do something there where everyone could join in on this celebration,” Kenadie says. Kenadie was quick to leave the room during our interview when discussing her dress. Michael, sticking with tradition, doesn’t plan on seeing her until she walks down the aisle. Her gown is already in the works, a custom designed dress that is bridal but not traditional. Every bit as elegant as it is sexy, Kenadie describes it as a floor length A-line that sweeps out, fading from champagne to pink. A white overlay adorns the dress with a full and wavy, horsehair hem bottom. Though Michael doesn’t want to hear any plans for the gown, he does want a bit of the fabric to match his attire accordingly. A designer himself, he is also creating Kenadie’s look for their December ceremony

she “What struggles with, I’m great with. And vice versa. She completes

”

me.

When speaking with the couple both separately and together, it’s clear that they are each other’s biggest fans. “She’s one of the most outgoing, creative people I know. She’s incredibly loving and so devoted – not only to me but to her friends and family as well,” Michael says. “He’s the most loving, caring person I’ve met in my entire life. He’s Italian and Irish, every bit of both of those descriptions,” Kenadie laughs. “He’s extraordinary. He can anticipate things before I even get them out of my mouth.” The couple is still discussing how they will combine names – whether they will hyphenate, or take on one or the other. As both are transgender, the identity they’ve chosen can be even harder to let go of. But, as in any marriage, they’re determined become one in whatever way that may be or mean for them. Also in discussion is their honeymoon location. “My ideal location would be New Zealand,” Kenadie says. “The landscape is just so beautiful – and you can’t forget that the Lord of the Rings was filmed there. But I know Michael would love something in the rain forest, so somewhere in South America would also be wonderful.” An exotic and scenic destination seems to be the theme for them, and we can only imagine that their wedding will be equally extraordinary. So, too, is their love for one another. “I just know I’m meant to be with him,” Kenadie says. “What she struggles with, I’m great with. And vice versa,” Michael says. “She completes me.” V thevitalVOICE.com

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hrcgala2016 Art MARK MOORE Place UNION STATION

The Human Rights Campaign St. Louis 2016 Gala returned to Union Station this year, featuring special guest actress, activist and teacher, Alexandra Billings of Transparent, who was honored with the HRC Visibility Award. From corporate sponsors and small businesses to local organizations and community leaders, individuals from all walks of life came together to make the annual event a huge success.

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