Learning to love the commute ... or not
J.T. O’Donnell & Dale Dauten Dear J.T. & Dale: My company just moved offices. It added 30 minutes to my commute. I love this job, but the commute makes me angry and exhausted. I feel my attitude changing. I'm trying to find a new job closer to home, but given the extra commute time, it's hard. Should I quit the job and look full-time? -- Ravi J.T.: No, don't quit your job. It is always easier to find a new job when you are employed: When you're out of work, recruiters immediately start to wonder why. Besides, companies usually are pretty accommodating about working interviews around your schedule. DALE: Moreover, given that you love the job, don't give up on it so easily. Three solutions ... 1. Move. You might be able to perform a career arabesque by meeting with your management and saying: "I'm so
committed to this company that I'm planning to move closer to our new location. First, though, I'd like to get a sense of my future with the company." (You can see where this one is going.) 2. Embrace the commute. Work through a list of people you want to stay in touch with. Or listen to the terrific podcasts from NPR, the BBC or Slate. (Try the "History Extra" podcast from BBC. The time flies by.) 3. Explain your dilemma to your boss and ask if you can work from home, at least some days. (If this one happens, still look for another job, because being one of a few people working from home will inhibit your advancement.) J.T.: However, should you feel that leaving the firm is inevitable, you could always go and have a sit-down with your boss and explain that you can no longer deal with the expanded commute. Perhaps the two of you can work out a three-month exit strategy where you would have time to interview and they would have time to find your replacement. Given your relationship with the company, having this type of honest conversation with your boss could help you part ways more amicably. Remember, every job is temporary; you never know if you might want to go back there someday.
*** Dear J.T. & Dale: I am a very active woman in her 50s. My hair turned white early. It's still thick and long. People tell me I look striking with it. However, I've been job-hunting and it seems to be working against me. Should I dye it? -- Hanna DALE: I'm glad you asked, Hanna, because a while back we answered a related question and I got angry responses that boiled down to, "Age discrimination is real, you moron." Yes, age discrimination is real. But a lot of older employees dwell on it, and while there are plenty of people who hire older workers, no one wants to hire a prickly, defensive person of any age. J.T.: I can tell you that companies hire based on personality, aptitude and experience -- and do so in that order. So, if your personality is a total fit for the organization, they won't care what your hair color is. If you're struggling to find work right now, invest time in assessing your interview skills. Sometimes older workers think they are saying the right thing in the interview, but in reality they're coming across either as desperate or as a know-it-all, even when they aren't either! That's why I would focus more on your interview skills than your appearance.
DALE: Also, only you can chase the gorilla out of the room. No informed hiring manager is going to say, "I'm worried that you're too old for our company/culture/clientele." They can't bring it up. You can. You could say: "I've had people tell me to dye my hair and pretend to be younger, but I've resisted that. I've worked with young managers, and I've learned plenty from them. I think people can sense someone who likes a workplace with lots of generations, and they can feel that you respect them. Do you agree?" That sounds like someone who's earned that white hair and the wisdom that should come with it. *** Jeanine "J.T." Tanner O'Donnell is a professional development specialist and the founder of the consulting firm jtodonnell. Dale Dauten resolves employment and other business disputes as a mediator with AgreementHouse.com. Please visit them at jtanddale.com, where you can send questions via email, or write to them in care of King Features Syndicate, 300 W. 57th St., 15th Floor, New York, NY 10019. (c) 2016 by King Features Syndicate, Inc.