54
take5.ca
OCT 2011
To bug or not to bug? Creaky : (adj) creaky, decrepit, derelict, flea-bitten, run-down, woebegone - Princeton’s WordNet The other day, when I was tossing blackberries over the bushes at Jackie, unknown to her of course, I got one of those profound revelations, about how much I love her and in how many ways. This particular day it had to do with her picking up the berries I was hurling at her, looking at them, then looking around, above, wondering how she could possibly have knocked them off the vines and why so many kept bouncing off her head? Didn’t take long till that look came over her, the thought of me picking on the other side of the bush, and then the deft explanation of what she’d do to me if I kept wasting food. And there’s the difference I thought, as I ran away chucking my last handful of delicious, ripe, clothes-staining berries in her general direction. She really would pound the heck out of me if her short little legs could catch me. A quick jump over the log, and a duck behind the big cedar, and I was away free and undamaged, counting on her good nature and bad memory to see me through. A cold glass of water tossed
The wee rascals: Jackie Moad and sisters Sandy and Sharon. Photo submitted.
over the top of the stall door, while I enjoyed a hot relaxing shower, was still a possibility though, and not an unknown when revenge skirled her scurrilous Scorpio thoughts. And that, in a nutshell, is my wee wifie Jackie, tho’ don’t call her that if you know what’s good for you. She’ll give you one of those boney knuckle sucker punches right to the shoulder, and make your whole arm go dead. You’ll swear. And it’ll hurt. Jackie’s twisty knuckled white-hot hits were right up there with the endearing mutterings and back-handed swipes of my dear departed Scots mom, “Awa wi’ ye, ye li’l buggerrrr”. Let’s just say, mostly, I was blameless, and I came honestly to this affectation and whim of bugging them I love. Pestering, irritating, confusing or poking can really spice up a relationship. Of course, if it’s someone like J who’s the object of said affection, who knows self-defence, the old jump-out-from-behind-the-door startle-and-scream technique really should be carefully considered, deferring as much as possible to
arms-length berry hurling for instance. Permanent damage is a possibility. In my case I was told that she cannot be held responsible for me doing something stupid. My knee, now creaky, still hurts when it rains. Hair-trigger reactions and a killer instinct. You learn things about a person after 35 years married. Like why you didn’t have any grey hair, and both knees worked, when you first met. To bug or not to bug, that is the question I must face each and every day. Knowing that my soul mate’s army-family, Newfoundlander and cheerleader upbringing brings many hitherto unexpected elements into play. So folks may well understand, should they see me in a knee brace or otherwise bandaged and bruised as of Oct. 29, when J hosts her two sisters Sandy and Sharon, for a week’s visit ...and also, coincidentally, when I attempt the Evil Kneivel of all bugs on as J celebrates her 60th. Which brings me to the red sneakers she’s gotten to wearing, her cute and creaky scarred knees, and the higher volume on the TV late at night, ‘resting’ her eyes like her mom used to do until the 3am hummm comes on. I never did have a Plan B when it came to Jackie. I was smitten, wanted it all, and she was perfect. Still is. - Laurie Gourlay has worked with environmental groups for thirty years, farms 20 acres organically on Vancouver Island with life-partner Jackie Moad, and is constantly distracted by her wondrous demeanor and beauty, while running Thistle Consulting Services – actively seeking local solutions to global challenges.