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Volume 21 Issue 18 December 22, 2014
For 20 years The Synthesis’ goal has remained to provide a forum for entertainment, music, humor, community awareness, opinions, and change.
This Week...
Publisher/Managing Editor Amy Sandoval amy@synthesis.net
Creative Director Tanner Ulsh graphics@synthesis.net
Entertainment Editor Arielle Mullen arielle@synthesis.net SynthesisWeekly.com/submit-yourevent/
Associate Editor Emiliano Garcia-Sarnoff emilianogs@gmail.com
Designers
Liz Watters, Mike Valdez graphics@synthesis.net
Deliveries Jennifer Foti
Contributing Writers
Zooey Mae, Bob Howard, Howl, Koz McKev, Tommy Diestel, Eli Schwartz, Mona Treme, Emiliano GarciaSarnoff, Jon Williams, Sean Galloway Alex O’Brien
Columns Letter From the Editor
Year in (p)Review
PAGE 6
by Amy Olson
amy@synthesis.net
PAGE 4
Letters to Desmond by Zooey Mae
zooeymae@synthesis.net
Productivity Wasted by Eli Schwartz
pwasted@synthesis.net
PAGE 10
Immaculate Infection
by Bob Howard
Madbob@madbob.com
PAGE 17
The Frugal Terran by TripHazard
Photography Jessica Sid Vincent Latham
Nerd
Dain Sandoval dain@synthesis.net
Accounting
PAGE 17
Exotic Adventures in Smalltown, USA
by Emiliano Garcia-Sarnoff
PAGE 18
Ben Kirby
Director of Operations Karen Potter
Owner
Bill Fishkin bill@synthesis.net The Synthesis is both owned and published by Apartment 8 Productions. All things published in these pages are the property of Apartment 8 Productions and may not be reproduced, copied or used in any other way, shape or form without the written consent of Apartment 8 Productions. One copy (maybe two) of the Synthesis is available free to residents in Butte, Tehama and Shasta counties. Anyone caught removing papers will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. All opinions expressed throughout the Synthesis are those of the author and are not necessarily the same opinions as Apartment 8 Productions and the Synthesis. The Synthesis welcomes, wants, and will even desperately beg for letters because we care what you think. We can be reached via snail mail at the Synthesis, 210 W. 6th St., Chico, California, 95928. Email letters@ synthesis.net. Please sign all of your letters with your real name, address and preferably a phone number. We may also edit your submission for content and space.
210 West 6th Street Chico Ca 95928 530.899.7708 editorial@synthesis.net
PAGE 5
Free Culture by Alex O’Brien amateurzen.us
PAGE 18
Consider the Platypus by Mona Treme
PAGE 18
Supertime!
by Logan Kruidenier logankruidenier.tumblr.com
PAGE 20
Kozmik Debris by Koz McKev
kozmckev@sunset.net
PAGE 21
From The Edge
by Anthony Peyton Porter
PAGE 22 FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO 3
PET OF THE WEEK
Dust and Cobwebs – Part One This is the story of clutter, of loneliness and little things and mountains growing between people. This is the story of fear and guilt, and the powerful experience of peeling it away. I’ll warn you now: this story will take more than one column to tell, and in the beginning there is darkness.
E l sa My name is Elsa! If you are looking for a running partner or for an incredibly loyal dog, that’s me! I have no problem sitting on your lap - I guess I forget I’m not a small dog!
2580 Fair Street Chico, CA 95928 (530) 343-7917 • buttehumane.org
Now Hear This SYNTHESIS WEEKLY PLAYLIST Milo
Tanner Milo - “(Boyle) and Piles EP” Liz The Head and the Heart - “Rivers and Roads” Mike Bobby Shmurda - “Hot N***a” Alie Sam Smith - “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas”
Tara Melanie Martinez - “Carnival” Becca N*Sync - “O Holy Night” Al Mishka - “Ocean is My Potion” Haley Cake - “Love You Madly” Danny Wampire - “Life of Luxury” 4
SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM DECEMBER 22 2014
After my mom died, there was the matter of her stuff. In her later years she began compulsively hoarding (which we euphemistically thought of as collecting) more things than she had room to store or time to use—mostly junk from yard sales, but also ridiculous amounts of nonperishable food and relics from the estates of those she lost. My dad felt sick about it and tried to get her to stop, but it seemed to make her happy, and she really couldn’t help herself. Gradually the garage and cupboards and closets filled, large items took refuge on the back porch, spare bedrooms became storage rooms, mantles and tabletops were crowded, the floors became a maze between boxes and piled bags of fabric, and the home I grew up in was buried. Along the way family events began to happen elsewhere, and with that our sense of unity and tradition began to dissolve. We started to congregate in pockets of siblings, our parents often bowing out, perhaps feeling that they didn’t belong in our young world, and we let them. Part of that dissolution was due to having spouses’ families to visit, but there was a measure of avoidance—it was hard to see the world of our childhood crushed under an avalanche of things we had no connection with. The symbolism of it was insidious: the junk that had come between us with time. My mom grew up in extreme poverty in post-war England; in the leanest times of her childhood a meal might mean sharing a single egg among a family of five. She viewed possessions as more precious than most people would, and she derived a sense of
security from knowing they were there “just in case.” More than that—with the growing isolation of her empty nest, her compulsion to fill the space increased. If her upbringing was the seed of her psychosis, this was the soil and sunlight: she was lonely, and attached herself to things where people had once been. It was a vicious cycle. When she passed away her stuff remained, like an anchor tying her ghost to the corner of our eye. Her sewing sat on the table half finished, her nook plugged into the wall by her chair, her paperwork in piles that made sense only to her. At any moment, in this setting that your memories found so perfectly suited, you could almost see her going through her simple daily routine. My dad, heartbroken, couldn’t bring himself to disrespect the things she had loved so dearly by removing them, couldn’t bring himself to break that link to her. The house started to collect dust and cobwebs. We invited him to our houses for dinners and holidays, avoiding the pain of being in that place, and fighting the guilt of knowing he had no refuge from it. My brothers and I talked about the state of the house many times, analyzing the story of the things and our mother and the walls that held us back. We squirmed with nagging regret and responsibility, but settled on the idea that it would be overstepping to go in and steamroll Dad’s grief with what we thought was best. We continued as we had been. Until the day my dad finally brought it up—the need to do something about all of it, and what was holding him back. With the opportunity laid in front of me, I had to face my real fear: it wasn’t just a matter of dealing with the full scope of my mother’s loneliness, it was dealing with the fact that I had also been failing my dad.
Letter From the Editor by Amy Sandoval amy@synthesis.net
Lizard People, Dear Reader Look, nobody’s saying everyone should be steeped in self-doubt all the time. In theory, it’s understandable how a person could conceivably be well-adjusted and mostly happy. However, when encountering people out in the world who seem to be unflappable in their self assuredness, who never change their mind and treat every mild debate into a chance to “win” and can’t accept the idea of being wrong about something, it certainly gives a person pause. Maybe, you think to yourself, you simply have the bad luck of always being around when those people happen to be “taking a stand” about some (surely inconsequential) thing. Maybe. But some people are just insufferable buttholes who are in desperate need of what I believe the medical field refers to as a “Chill Pill.” At the very least, encountering these people is a weird, off-putting experience. You could find yourself having a perfectly innocuous time outside the house, socializing with friends, when suddenly—BAM—you find (seemingly out of nowhere) the entire table giving one another sidelong glances while a side part in a pair of fucking chinos is arguing with everyone (and also no one) about the “true” meaning of feminism. We’ve all encountered them at some time or another, and we’ve also all been “that guy” at some point in our lives. (For most of us, between the ages of 19 and 24). If there’s one thing that I think we can agree on, it’s that these sorts of insufferable buttholes are awful to be around. Their empty self-assuredness also leads me to believe that they’re not actually humans, but rather lizard people in skin suits.
Anyway, let’s leave it on a high note, shall we? Since this is the last issue of Synthesis for 2014, I’d like to cover some (obligatory) “best of” lists. Albums (in no particular order): Foxygen - … And Star Power Alt-J - This Is All Yours The Antlers - Familiars Snowblind Traveler - Confederate Burial Sharon Van Etten - Are We There After albums, I intended on compiling a list of my top films and graphic novels, but as a result of school, work, and my general blanket of anxiety I drag around like Linus, I consumed very little in the way of movies and graphic novels. Because of that, I’ll just list my top two moments from this year: (Yes, I know two is a weird number of selections for a Best Of list. Deal with it.) 1. Being asked to take the reins as Entertainment Editor here at Synthesis. I’m so proud of the direction that Synthesis is going, and I feel lucky and honored to be a part of the editing staff along with Amy and Emiliano. 2. Last week I ate a mandarin and the peel came off all in one piece. That was incredible. Everything’s comin’ up Milhouse, you guys.
Grave Concerns By Sean Galloway
FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO 5
Greetings, Mortals! It is I, Maniphesto the Magnificent, here to guide you through the dark tunnel between what is past and what is yet to come. Behold! The veil is lifted! The path you walk upon—revealed! The future—nude! The spirits tell me you burn with questions. “What even WAS 2014?” you ask. The answer: 2014 was the year all the trends from the past three years came to escalate and become annoying as shit. 2014 was the year things went too far, became intolerable, unsustainable, unforgivable! “Does that mean 2015 will be fresh and new like a squeaky, pink baby mouse?” you ask with the naiveté of a chubby schoolchild. No, you fool! Behold—the truth of things!
6
SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
DECEMBER 22 2014
Trends!
Fashion! 2014 came wrapped in burlap and tied up with twine and sprigs of lavender; it came drinking raspberry lemonade out of a mason jar while posing on a railroad track in a sundress and cowboy boots. What will come of it? Behold! The forthcoming year will indeed have MORE—even larger and more rustic mason jars, bound in great swaths of scratchy burlap; women will carry their home-birthed unvaxed babies in them like so many pickled cabbages; brew organic artisan kombucha in them by the gallon; strap them to the backs of registered emotional support donkeys to carry their groceries through Whole Foods; fill them with smaller mason jars which in turn are filled with the ghosts of old west lady-gunslingers. 2015 will be known as the year when scientists finally created a way to flood all wheat fields with perpetual late afternoon sunlight and grow weatherresistant vintage dining room sets from seed. In 2014 we grew tired of loving Disney characters for who they are, and demanded that they conform to our preferred gender, ethnicity, artistic genre, historical setting, and storyline. A rash of “reimaginists” stepped forward to heed the call, and their ability to imagine things that someone else had already imagined one way in a totally other way inspired us, and sent a clear message to Disney execs: we want rehashed versions of everything you’ve ever done but with all sexy dudes and elaborate costumes and some of them are real people and also it’s just Game of Thrones. Behold! In 2015 Disney will listen and just start putting out faux-historical softcore porn with plenty of gender swaps. Also, three sequels to Frozen! Smoking got a little less cool this year, both weed and tobacco. Weed lost some of its mystique as Colorado, Washington, Alaska, and Oregon voted for recreational legalization, which sends it one more step down the path of absinthe as far as lameness goes—woooo, you’re drinking absinthe!—and tobacco is no longer to be smoked—it’s all about vapes now. Vaping is so hot, it’s like the Taylor Swift of ways to get cancer. It comes in fruity flavors with adorable names, and it rhymes with “capes,” which means you’re like a superhero with a crippling nicotine addiction. Behold! 2015 is the year where we start vaping everything—alcohol, caffeine, crack cocaine, I’m not even kidding these are already starting to be things! In this, the age of Obamacare, companies refusing to hire smokers will drive vape sales through the stratosphere. Vaping will become a symbol of health and vitality, taking the place of using excessive amounts of hand sanitizer and getting useless flu shots!
Popular fashion has been moving forward in 20 year cycles for some time now: the 2000s saw a resurgence of everything ‘80s (by way of punks from the ‘60s), and so far the 2010s have seen a resurgence of everything ‘90s (by way of hippies from the ‘70s), each decade’s style manifesting with a degrading half-life of energy and originality. Behold! Crop tops! High-waisted acid-wash jeans! 2015 will double down on this ‘90s revival—the return of gold Hammer pants, giant overalls with one strap flipped down, Blossom hats, caterpillar eyebrows, heroin addiction!
In turn, hipsters who have embraced the fashions of the 1890s with manicured beards and tailored vests will seek to elude oversaturation by reaching even further back in time for the upcoming year. Behold! The future will bring back the fashions of the 1790s! 2014 hinted at this trend with hair being dyed pale grey and pastel—the precursor to powdered wigs—and everything being short in front/ long in back—the precursor to waistcoats! These facts are undeniable! Soon we will see stockings, breeches, painted-on moles, and ruffled cravats—the spirits see all! FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO 7
News!
Politics were also decidedly retro, as Russia dusted off their favorite old imperialism and started casually goose-stepping back into the Eastern Bloc. The U.N responded in a half-assed way by levying sanctions, which do seem to have dealt a blow to the Ruble, but is this the end of Russian expansion? Behold! 2015 will see the Cult of Putin explode worldwide, winning territory not by military force but by sheer cultural horniness for his ultra-manly bod. Women
Issues!
everywhere will refuse to sleep with their husbands unless they “do the accent,” men everywhere will refuse to sleep with their wives unless they “smear that borcht all over your titties.” Before long, Russian Fever will spread faster than Ebola, governments will fall, and World President Vladimir will come riding his bear triumphantly through the streets of each capital with his glorious pink chest glistening in the sun.
North Korea is back in a big way too, successfully using computers just like a real country! We laughed when they threatened nuclear war and starved their own people to the brink of/to death, but now they’re hacking into servers and releasing private emails that badmouth Adam Sandler, and we’re eating our share of crow (but seriously, we should consider ourselves lucky to have crow to eat—the people of North Korea are suffering on a level it’s hard to comprehend
and my heart goes out to them). What will come next from Dear Leader Kim Jong Un? Behold! In 2015 he will reveal his master plan, releasing his own version of The Interview wherein he and Vladimir Putin travel to Colorado to assassinate Trey Parker and Matt Stone in cold revenge for Team America, which they succeed in doing with great efficiency because they have the strength of a bear and the magical power of a unicorn on their side.
And Cuba is back—you forgot about Cuba, didn’t you? Well, you know who didn’t forget? President Obama. He recently watched that movie Chef and had a hankering for a Cuban sandwich, followed by the awkward realization that we’d forgotten to lift that travel and trade embargo that’s
been in place for the past 50 years. What will come next as a result of this historic reconciliation? Behold! 2015 will be a year of political bickering and myopic hyperbole about communist dictatorships—while we continue strengthening ties with China!
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SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM DECEMBER 22 2014
In 2014, the heroes of #gamergate taught us a valuable lesson about ethics: it’s more ethical to viciously harass a [female] person with cyber stalking and rape threats until they collapse in a ball of anxiety than it is for a [female] person who makes video games to hit it off with a person who writes about them—or worse, be a [female] person who has a negative opinion of #gamergate. Their crusade has been an inspiration, but will women ever learn their lesson about their place in the gaming world? Behold! In 2015 the #gamergaters will indeed win! Women throughout the industry will quit their jobs the second they meet a man who likes to play games just in case he might recommend her game to a friend or—god forbid—write about it. Women will also stop having opinions—and for good measure, they’ll stop pretending to enjoy games just to get hot sex from real gamers. Behold even more! The argument about street harassment will finally be resolved! In 2015 women will finally start to enjoy street harassment in the spirit it’s intended, embracing the opportunity to meet new and interesting perverts. Indeed, women will celebrate the pageantry of stepping out the door and heading to work, donning evening gowns and bathingsuits, twirling batons, and making speeches about world peace as they strut and pose their way through town. Men will finally be free to hold up signs with number ratings and occasionally offload the tiaras they’ve been carrying around. It will be the dawn of a golden age! 2014 surprised us all when it pointed out that race is still an issue—who knew? It turns out people make snap judgements and behave differently toward people who “aren’t like them,” sometimes resulting in tragedy, but always resulting in some bullshit that nobody has time for. Will 2015 see an end to bigotry and institutional discrimination? Behold! No, unfortunately. We’ve got a ways to go.
Entertainment! This year we discovered shows everyone else was already watching and went on desperate marathons to catch up with the conversation. It turned out the The Walking Dead, Orange is the New Black, Game of Thrones, True Detective, and Downton Abbey are totally awesome and you can’t wait for next season. Doctor Who was amazing for a few seasons but then took a hard downturn when Moffat turned his attention to Sherlock (which is awesome and you can’t wait for next season!). You tried watching Black Mirror but it was just… ugh. Tired of being last to know about the hot shows—left out of the sly, spoiler-ridden whispers and oblique facebook rants? Behold! I bring you visions of next year’s hit before it even gets started. The spirits tell me to watch for anything combining zombies, blood, sex, lesbians, prison, butlers, detectives, personality disorders, and dry sarcasm. So shall it be!
Star Wars leaks have been all the rage this year, steadily building hype through sneak peeks at faux-secret script readings, cast lists, and and set pics—as was preemptively hating the new Star Wars movie and calling it overhyped. 2015 will reveal the dramatic reality, but Behold! I am here to tell you there’s no need to wait! JJ Abrams will kill it, people will say it was better than the original, kids will lose their minds, adults will weep with recaptured magic of their childhoods. Also, people will hate it, pick it apart, criticize the effects and camera motion, complain about drifts from canon, and generally spit on anyone who says otherwise. MOAR ‘90s! In 2014 we started talking about Twin Peaks again, with the announcement by David Lynch that next year the series would return. Suddenly young people everywhere were having the exact conversations had by the generation before them: “What’s with the owls, are they evil? Is the log really sentient? Is it just my jaded millennial brain, or was that scene with Leland Palmer riding the coffin up and down at the funeral really funny?*” (*Actual quote. Yes, idiot, it was meant to be funny. Every generation had irony.) What will come of this? Behold! In 2015 pie and coffee sales will skyrocket, donuts will be stacked neatly, teenagers will remember how cool smoking looks and throw their vapes in the garbage! Time will fold back in on itself and we will literally be transported Quantum Leap style into the bodies of our predecessors, striving to put right what once went wrong!
FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO 9
Playing in the Fourth Dimension AN EXERCISE IN EXTRASPATIAL REASONING The idea of dimensional space that cannot be registered is confusing, strange, and to me, tantalizing. We are simply three dimensional creatures, and it took us humans quite a while to grasp the concept of dimensional spaces at all. Stretching into the fourth dimension seems almost greedy, like some sort of arbitrary mental exercise of mathematical dominance. Yet there’s a certain sort of magic in beginning to grasp extradimensional objects that provides intellectual stimulation and the satisfaction of a strange new puzzle solved. So why not put the fourth dimension in games? Well, because it’s confusing as all hell. Aside from that, however, people are likely ready to welcome it. Miegakure is one game that has not shied away from the prospect of taking the already popular puzzle concept of spatial reasoning, and added on a fourth dimension for good measure. I try not to talk about games that aren’t even out yet, but Miegakure has been in development for about five years now, and with the frequent boundary pushing that has come out of indie development over the past few years, it pays to wax philosophic and speculative about the future of mechanics and untapped potential.
On The Town 10
PHOTOS BY VINCE LATHAM FACEBOOK.COM/VANGUARD.PHOTOGRAPHY
SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM DECEMBER 22 2014
Four dimensional reasoning only adds to the challenge of navigating a landscape, and provides a potential layer for movement and advantage. Miegakure is a slow-paced puzzle game, set in a strange multi-dimensional Zen Garden. Miegakure itself means “hide and reveal,” a highly stylized form of temple garden meant to obscure itself from those walking along its paths, yet reveal itself to all looking from a distance. This quiet, Zen environment is the perfect place to start
with such an advanced and difficult mental concept, yet I can’t help but see the potential for other genres. As difficult as the learning curve could be, the thought of a professional competitive match for a shooter or MOBA with dimensional shifting could be fascinating, to watch and to learn. As the third dimension crept into games, it did more than just make the graphics more realistic, it often overhauled the gameplay. Series like Doom and Quake took great advantage of full three dimensional movement, and let the increase of dimensions also become an increase in potential, both for threats and player ability. Many games try to add more vertical movement in order to shake things up, and often find themselves struggling (Brink, anyone?). Designing and playing in the fourth dimension would be difficult, and require a lot of learning. It certainly wouldn’t be for everyone, and perhaps would only appeal to a niche. Yet massively overcomplicated and difficult games, from Europa Universalis IV to Dark Souls II, all have their markets. Don’t underestimate your players, developers. There will always be some willing to figure this stuff out, and they’ll be the ones sweeping tournaments, lurking message boards, and swapping tricks and tips online. Don’t underestimate new ideas, either. They can fizzle out immediately, become one hit wonders, or inspire hundreds of unoriginal copycats, and that’s a good thing.
Productivity Wasted by Eli Schwartz pwasted@synthesis.net
BANDS & MUSICIANS GET SPECIAL AD RATES editorial@synthesis.net
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SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM DECEMBER 22 2014
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WACKY WEDNESDAYS (8pm - close ) DJ Party 4 different DJ’s $1 wells $2 calls $2 domestic bottles $6 pitchers of well drinks
NYE CELEBRATION!!!
Happy Hour 4 - 8pm Ladies Night! 8pm - CLOSE $5 Pabst pitchers $2 shot board $4 Moscow Mules $3 Jamo and Ginger Buck Hour 10:30 - 11:30
Early Bird Special 9-10PM 1/2 off wells
Happy Hour 4 - 8pm
Early Bird Special 9-10pm 1/2 off wells
FIREBALL FRIDAYS!!! 8pm - Close $3 Fireball Shots $4 Big Teas $3 Coronas
Advance tickets availble at the DownLo
TRIKE RACES! Post time @ 10pm. Win T-shirts and Bear Bucks. MUG CLUB 4-10PM
All 16 oz Teas or AMF $3 All Day
$3.50 Skyyy Vodka Cocktails $3.50 Tea of the Day Bartender Specials Happy Hour 4-8pm
1/2 OFF EVERYTHING!!!
1/2 OFF COVER before 10PM
MUG CLUB from 4-10PM
Happy Hour 11-6pm $3 select bottles & drafts
9pm - Close $2 12oz Teas $3 20oz Teas $2 Well, Dom Bottles & bartender Specials $5 Vodka Red Bull
Happy Hour 4 -7pm
$2.50 16oz Wells All Day
NYE Celebration! Balloon Drop, Prizes, Giveaways, toast at midnight!
4-6pm $1 Dom Drafts $2 SN Drafts & Wells $5 DBL Captain 8pm - Close $4 151 Party punch 22oz. 8 - 9pm $1 Pale Ale & Dom.Draft Up $0.25/ hr until close
Closed
$3.50 Tea of the Day Bartender Specials Happy Hour 4-8pm
LATE NIGHT EATS! kitchen open until 1 AM
Select Pints $3
Happy Hour- 4-7pm $5 Fridays 4-8pm Most food items and pitchers of beer are $5
Power Hour 8 - 9pm 1/2 Off Liquor & Drafts (excludes pitchers) 9PM - Close $3 Domestic Drafts $9.75 Pitchers $5 Dbl Sugar Island Rum NO COVER
Open at 9pm
LATE NIGHT EATS! kitchen open until 1 AM
$4 Sex On The Beach $4 Sierra Nevada Knightro ON TAP $1 Jello Shots 7-10pm $3 Fireball
$3.50 Tea of the Day Bartender Specials Happy Hour 4-8pm
$4 World Famous Bloody Joe $5 Premium bloodys your choice of vodka
Champagne Brunch 11am - 2pm $4 Champagne with entree
LIVE MUSIC 1/2 OFF COVER before 10PM
Opening at 8pm for 80's NIGHT!! 8 pm - CLOSE $4 Sauza Margaritas $3 Kamis $3 Shocktop & VIP pint
Early Bird Special 9-10pm 1/2 off wells
Hot "Dawgs" ALL DAY!
Mon. - Sat. 4pm - 6pm $1 Dom. draft, $2 SN Draft and Wells Power Hour 8 - 9pm $3 Domestic Drafts $9.75 Pitchers Patron Incendio Promo 10pm NO COVER
BOTTLE SERVICE Now Available! Call for New Yar’s Eve Reservations 898-9898
KARAOKE "INDUSTRY NIGHT" 8 PM - CLOSE HALF OFF ALMOST EVERYTHING!(Except Red Bull and Premium Liquors) Specials All Day!
OPEN FOR 36 CRAZYFISTS SHOW
LIVE MUSIC 1/2 OFF COVER before 10pm BURGER MADNESS! Bear Burger with fries or salad for $5.49. 11am-10pm.
CLOSED
CLOSED
$1.50 sliders and other cheap eats!!
Champagne Brunch and SPORTS!
SHOT SPECIAL
champagne toast
4-6pm $1 Dom Drafts $2 SN Drafts & Wells $5 DBL Captain Buck Night 8-Close $1 wells, SN Pale Ale, Rolling Rock, Dom Draft $3 Black Butte $4 Vodka Redbull
LATE NIGHT EATS! kitchen open until 1 AM BURGER MADNESS! Bear Burger with fries or salad for $5.49. 11am-10pm.
Closed
NEW YEARS EVE
Call for New Yar’s Eve Reservations 898-9898
134 Broadway St, Chico, CA | 530.893.5253
BOTTLE SERVICE Now Available! Call for reservation 898-9898 Large selection of wines, sangrias and Martinis.
Open at 9pm Large selection of wines, sangrias and Martinis.
LATE NIGHT EATS! kitchen open until 1am
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This Week Only... Fine Dining in the Tradition of Southern Italy
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BEST BETS IN ENTERTAINMENT
SICILIAN CAFÉ
ARE YOU A WIZARD Monday, December 22nd
Celebrating 30 years !
MAGIC SHOW WITH WAYNE HOUCHIN
SMASHED SPELLING BEE
PLEASANT VALLEY HIGH SCHOOL
MALTESE
Farm. Fresh. Italian.
Sunday, January 4th
Sunday, January 4th
1020 Main Street Chico 530.345.2233 14
Sunday, December 28th
SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM DECEMBER 22 2014
Everybody loves magic, right? Right guys? What’s that? You think magic is dumb? Well come down to PV High anyway, because this is a benefit show for the library in Weed that was damaged by a fire. For those of you born after 1998, a “library” is a place where you can...Just come to the show. All ages, 7pm, $10.
Come prove your mental superiority over others while you get buzzed (get it? bzzzzzz) with the babely bartenders at the Maltese! Best part is, you can step up and participate in the fun, or be that guy (or woman) who sits at the bar, rolls their eyes whenever someone answers incorrectly, and mouths the correct spelling while (semi) silently judging. With either choice, you won’t be alone! 21+, 9pm.
AARON STANDISH BIRTHDAY COMEDY SHOW!
MIXED MEDIA MIXER JANUARY
DUFFY’S TAVERN
1078 GALLERY
Laugh your way through that hangover from your Friday-Saturday bender by attending a comedy show at your favorite local watering hole. Northstate standup comic Aaron Standish is back to celebrate his birthday with the help of some buds. Featuring Sir Standish himself along with Steve Swim, Becky Lynn Daniel, Liz Merry, John Bertoli, and many more, don’t miss this one! 21+, $5, 7pm.
ACHILLES WHEEL & This week at... GRAVY BRAIN
Gargle with the sweet, refreshing taste of local art, music and culture to get the bad taste of Christmas out of your brainmouth. A monthly happening brought about by the collaboration of Uncle Dad’s Art Collective and Energy Plant Arts, this is the perfect mellow event to take in while you’re winding down from yet another (undoubtedly) letdown of a New Years Eve. All ages, 2pm, FREE!
Upcoming shows... DEC
21
ORGONE
DEC
29
DEC
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MOJO GREEN moksha & sofa king DOORS OPEN AT 9PM | HALF OFF DRINKS BEFORE 10PM | PRESALE NYE TICKETS AVAILABLE AT THE DOWNLO
Featured Events:
22 Monday
CUSD Center for the Arts (PV High School): Fundraiser for Weed Library: Magic with Chico’s own Wayne Houchin. 7pm, all ages, VIP tickets $10 Downlo: Open Mic Comedy Night. Signup starts at 8:30pm, show at 9pm, 21+, free
23 Tuesday
Shenanigan’s: Aaron’s Open Mic. 7pm-10pm, all ages, free
24 Wednesday
Shaffer Ranch (3882 Keefer Rd): Christmas At Shaffer Ranch. 5:30pm, all ages, free
25 Thursday
Maltese: Bah Humbug Karaoke & Ugly Sweater Contest. 9pm, 21+, $5
26 Friday
Tackle Box: Cold Sweat. 9pm, 21+
27 Saturday
Canyon Oaks Country Club: Painted Cellars- Where Art and Entertainment Collide. 1pm-3pm, 18+, $40 El Rey Theater: Dennis Regan & Chris Voth. 7:30pm, $18+, $15/ advance Lost On Main: Achilles Wheel & Gravybrain. 9pm, 21+ Tackle Box: Country Strong. 9pm, 21+ Yoga Center of Chico: Open Heart Dances/poetry/chanting. 7-9pm, 18+, $5-$10 donation
28 Sunday
Maltese: Smashed Spelling Bee. 9pm
29 Monday
Lost On Main: Orgone. 8pm. 21+ Maltese: Yubu Productions & Savage Henry Magazine Present The Curvy Boys (comedy). 9pm, 21+, $5
30 Tuesday
Ongoing Events:
Shenanigan’s: Aaron’s Open Mic. 7pm-10pm, all ages, free
31 Wednesday
The Beach: DJ Dance Party, balloon drop, giveaways, 9pm Canyon Oaks Country Club: New Years Eve Gala. 8:30pm-12:30am. $60 Chico Grange Hall: New Years Eve Charity Gala. 9pm-2am. $75 Crazy Horse Saloon: Midnight Masquerade Ball. 8pm-2am, 21+ LaSalles: Black N Silver Vegas Party. 9pm-2am, 21+ Lost On Main: Funk Into 2015: Moksha, Mojo Green, Sofa King. 8:30pm, 21+ Maltese: New Years Eve Party: Bogg, CITIES, Wanderers & Wolves. 9:30pm, 21+, $5 Tackle Box: New Years Eve: Josh Budro Band. 9pm, 21+
2 Friday
Empire Coffee: Chroma Art Exhibit: Art by Alex Light & Ty Andre Mendoza. 5pm-7pm, all ages
3 Saturday
Yoga Center of Chico: Mind Power Workshop w/Gayle Kimball, PhD. 1-4pm
4 Sunday
1078 Gallery: Mixed Media Mixer, 2pm-5pm, all ages, free Campfire Council Ring, Lower Bidwell Park: Special Public New Years Ritual - “Mother of the Waters” Yemonja Ritual. 12pm, all ages Duffy’s Tavern: Northstate standup comedian Aaron Standish is celebrating his birthday by hosting a showcase of local stand-up comedians and other funny friends. Featuring Mark Joseph Leathers, Steve Swim, Jerm Leather, John Bertoli, Becky Lynn Daniel, Roland Allen, Liz Merry & more. 7pm, 21+, $5
22/29 Monday
100th Monkey: Healing Light Meditation, 7pm-8:15pm The Bear: Bear-E-oke! 9pm Chico Art Center: Salon d’Art, a holiday sale by local artists. 10am-4pm Chico Womens Club: Prenatal Yoga. 5:30-6:30pm DownLo: Open Mic Comedy Night. Free. Pool League. 3 player teams, signup with bartender. 7pm. All ages until 10pm Maltese: Open Mic Music (22nd) and Comedy (29th), Signups at 8pm, starts at 9pm. Mug Night 7-11:30pm The Tackle Box: Latin Dance Classes. Free, 7-9pm University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm Yoga Center Of Chico: Sound Healing w. Emiliano (no relation). Breathwork, Meditation, Healing.
23/30 Tuesday
100th Monkey: Fusion Belly Dance mixed-level class, with BellySutra. $8/ class or $32/month. 6pm The Bear: Open Jam Night, featuring a different live band opening each week. Bring instruments, 9pm-1:30am Chico Art Center: Salon d’Art, a holiday sale by local artists. 10am-4pm Chico Women’s Club: Yoga. 9-10am. Afro Carribean Dance. $10/class or $35/mo. 5:50-7pm. Crazy Horse Saloon: All Request Karaoke. 21+ DownLo: Game night. All ages until 10pm Holiday Inn Bar: Salsa Lessons, 7-10pm LaSalles: ’90s night. 21+ Panama Bar: Tropical Tuesdays ft. Mack Morris & DJ2K. 10pm Studio Inn Lounge: Karaoke. 8:30pm1am The Tackle Box: Karaoke, 9pm University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm Woodstocks: Trivia Challenge. Call at 4pm to reserve a table. Starts 6:30pm
24/31 Wednesday (Call to check)
Chico Art Center: Salon d’Art, a holiday sale by local artists. 10am-4pm Chico Women’s Club: Afro Brazilian Dance. 5:30-7pm DownLo: Wednesday night jazz. 8 Ball Tournament, signups 6pm, starts 7pm Duffys: Dance Night! DJ Spenny, Lois, and Jeff Howse. $1, 9pm Farm Star Pizza: Live Jazz with Carey Robinson and Friends. 6pm-8pm The Graduate: Free Pool after 10pm The Maltese: Friends With Vinyl! Bring your vinyl and share up to 3 songs/12 minutes on the turntable. 9pm-1am The Tackle Box: Line Dance classes. Free, 5:30-7:30pm. Swing Dance classes. Free, 7:30-9:30pm University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm Woodstocks: Trivia Night plus Happy Hour. call at 4pm to reserve a table. Starts at 8pm
25/1 Thursday Merry and Happy.
26/2 Friday
The Beach: Live DJ, 9pm Cafe Coda: Friday Morning Jazz with Bogg, happy hour. 10am-2pm Chico Art Center: Salon d’Art, a holiday sale by local artists. 10am-4pm Chico Creek Dance Center: Chico international folk dance club. 7:30pm, $2 DownLo: ½ off pool. All ages until 10pm. Live Music, 8pm Duffys: Pub Scouts - Happy Hour. 4-7pm The Graduate: Free Pool after 10pm Holiday Inn Bar: DJ Dance Party. 8pmmidnight LaSalles: Open Mic night on the patio. 6-9pm Maltese: Happy hour with live jazz by Bogg. 5-7pm. LGBTQ+ Dance Party. 9pm Panama Bar: Jigga Julee, DJ Mah on the patio. 9pm Peeking: BassMint. Weekly electronic dance party. $1-$5. 9:30pm Quackers: Live DJ. 9pm Sultan’s Bistro: Bellydance Performance. 6:30-7:30pm University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm
27/3 Saturday
The Beach: Live DJ, 9pm Chico Art Center: Salon d’Art, a holiday sale by local artists. 10am-4pm DownLo: 9 Ball tournament. Signups at noon, starts at 1pm. All ages until 10pm The Graduate: Free Pool after 10pm Holiday Inn Bar: DJ Dancing. 70s and 80s music. The Molly Gunn’s Revival! 8pm-midnight LaSalles: 80’s Night. 8pm-close Panama Bar: DJ Eclectic on the patio. 9pm Tackle Box: Karaoke. 8:30pm-midnight, 21+ University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm
28/4 Sunday
Chico Art Center: Salon d’Art, a holiday sale by local artists. 10am-4pm Dorothy Johnson Center: Soul Shake Dance Church. Free-style dance wave, $8$15 sliding scale. 10am-12:30pm DownLo: Free Pool, 1 hour with every $8 purchase. All ages until 10pm LaSalles: Karaoke. 9pm Maltese: Live Jazz 4-7pm. Tackle Box: Karaoke, 8pm
The Bear: Trike Races. Post time 10pm
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On The Town 16
PHOTOS BY JESSICA SID
SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM DECEMBER 22 2014
Falling Trees SORRY IF YOU WERE OFFENDED LAST WEEK, A FALLEN OAK, AND END OF THE CALENDAR YEAR MUSINGS First An Insincere Apology Well, the negativity certainly crept into this column last week. This week feels better, albeit only slightly. The end of this treacherous season is in sight and I think I may make it through. The winter solstice is a few days away; the days will start growing once again. Regular infusions of eggnog and rum, schnapps, brandy, or bourbon are succeeding in smoothing down some of the rougher edges. I even went and saw the Yule Logs play a set at Magnolia Gift and Garden’s annual holiday gala, and while I will not disavow the fact that I hate everything they stand for, the band puts on a damn fine show. So anyhow, if you allowed yourself to be offended by the words I wrote last week, then for that I apologize. As the Christians would say, “God bless you.” In British I believe the expression is closer to “bugger off.” The Property Provides We had a large oak go down during that windy soaker that roared through the northstate a couple of weeks ago. Fortunately it wasn’t near any structures, though it did end up leaning against my neighbor’s wire fence. So far I’ve spent a day with the chainsaw clearing the wood and brush and managed at least to remove the limbs that are crossing property lines. The bulk of the tree still awaits my attention, but I think I’ll wait until the weather clears. While I feel badly for the loss of a magnificent and otherwise healthy oak, I know where next year’s firewood is coming from.
our land. This morning while I was soaking in the tub I was contemplating the notion of possibly getting government grants for the hundreds of more trees Trish is planting. Could we claim we are establishing a carbon sink? That is what we are doing. The plants Trish is putting in the ground are primarily ornamental—meaning there is nothing to harvest from them. Basically we are expanding the existing forest. Happy Early New Year Synthesis takes a week off here over the holidays, and so these will be the last words you read from me for 2014. It’s been a tough and a trying year in some ways. The community has lost some good people. Those of us left carry on, taking with us the lessons and memories of the ones we love who have left us. The memories don’t feel like enough, and the lessons we learn take time to sink in, and sometimes even after they do, they still don’t make much sense. It’s a funny life, this life. On a positive note, I’ve taken to wearing plus size women’s tights underneath my clothing, as opposed to the more traditional long underwear. These tights are inexpensive and warm; less bulky and a lot more stylish than plain old cotton. Right now I’m wearing a pair with a print of reptile skin emblazoned on them and feeling pretty good about myself. You should give it a try.
Immaculate Infection
by Bob Howard
Taking Stock and Making Stock BOTH ARE PRETTY EASY It’s the holiday season, when we often celebrate the non-monetary things in our lives (other people, and possibly pets) by giving them monetary-based things (gift cards, scarves, etc.) I’m not going to declare that consumerism destroys the actual care we have for other people—the persons trampled in Black Friday sales speak volumes with their silence. You don’t have to go all DIY or give gifts like “one free backrub” unless you want to. As I’ve noted before—money doesn’t do anything unless you spend it somewhere. So if you want to give your mom the gift of a decent cup of coffee, then so be it; feel good about that decision. After awakening from your holiday food coma, dear reader, tackle your last assignment of the year. It is to take stock of your past year from a financial standpoint. Take an hour or two to reflect on your highs and lows of your year with money. Maybe you got a sweet deal on a pair of shoes; maybe you planned ahead and got a decent 20% discount on your textbooks. Maybe you built your first budget (and your second, and your third—revision is common and encouraged.) Maybe you paid off some credit cards, or avoided putting a balance on them in the first place. Perhaps you took my fantastic advice and started setting a few bucks aside in a savings account or (gasp!) retirement account. Such innocuous delights should bring a smile to your face, for you showed wisdom and intelligence in both feats.
flat tire; a parking ticket, a sudden sickness that put you off work for a few days (and boy, you could’ve used the money.) Prepare yourself for the next time—there’s always another flat tire. There’s also another opportunity to learn how to fix a flat. In the interest of good holiday food and puns, here’s a tip on making stock while you’re taking stock: Save the Christmas dinner’s chicken bones or ham hock or whatever (sorry vegans) and put them in a big pot. Pour in water until the bones are an inch or two underwater. While the water is heating, throw in a dash of vinegar, and add some veggies like carrots, celery, and onions. (Bonus points for cutting them up first.) Bring it to a boil, then turn it down and simmer for at least 6 hours. Check on it every hour or so—you might need to add water, too.) When it’s ready, let it cool and then strain out the solid bits. Put the stock in the fridge overnight, so the fat will rise to the top and harden. The next day, spoon off the fat, and your stock is ready for use (or save it in the freezer.) Use it to make soup, or substitute it for water when you cook rice. Financially, you just got good use out of something you were going to throw out anyway (the bones and the veggies. Kidding!)
Madbob@madbob.com
There are at least a hundred mature oaks on
Ponder, too, the dark times—an unplanned FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO 17
The State of the Commons, Part Four A Cuba Libre Without a Lime is Just a Rum and Coke Going to Cuba isn’t actually illegal. You just can’t spend any money there. So I’m not technically admitting to a federal offense when I tell you that I’ve been there twice. You just have to imagine how I got along without spending an American dime over the course of some six weeks, total. Fasting and camping, I guess.
Christmas is upon us. There are other holy days upon us too, but I don’t know how to pronounce them or “what is the what” at their core. We’ll enjoy the privilege of being dry and warm; surround ourselves with family and friends; spend some hard-earned seashells on tangible things; turn the dietary fat to 11 (see Blighty pronunciation guide) and congratulate ourselves on persevering another year. Discounting our unbridled heresy, our misplaced skeptic rage, and some of the barbarous brutality described by King James’ version of the story, we who dwell in the long shadow of the Judeo-Christ know hot to commemorate winter’s most holy day, with or without him.
It’s easy to get there, actually. You just fly to Mexico and then hop a rickety flight to Havana. If you’re paranoid, you say “por favor, senor, no stamp.” The customs official just looks at you with a wrinkled bushy black unibrow and an expression that says, “si, obvio, this is what I do, Americano.” But soon, it appears, a Cuban stamp on your passport won’t be a problem. Maybe it’ll be of Che. The little 50 year tiff we’ve been having is coming to an end. Saying that this is bittersweet for me isn’t exactly right. It’s really just sweet. The embargo and all the related restrictions are among the stupidest and most counterproductive national policies we’ve ever devised. And yet… I love the Cuba that I know so much, it truly pains me to imagine Cuba as just another country, slowly acquiring the same architecture, cars, goods, economic policies, inequalities, advertisements, social mores, and internet memes as the rest of the world. The embargo and the socialist policies have been like a dam, holding the globalizing forces at bay, keeping Cuba special. A place run under a completely different system, with completely different values. A place without a McDonalds. In Cuba, there aren’t any advertisements. Just billboards that say things like “an enlightened community takes care of its plants.” Or there are signs affirming female equality. There’s no everyone’s-trying-to-sell-me-somethingironic-cynical-defenses. It seems like there’s no loneliness. Everywhere people are on 18
SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM DECEMBER 22 2014
the streets together, working together. No one’s on their smart phone. There are no smartphones. No one’s being wry or too cool. There’s no hipsters. Cubans are ridiculously educated. You really do get cab rides from people who have PHDs in Neuroscience. And then they invite you out to talk politics or to dance. The five-member nuclear families on 80cc mopeds; the pimp-ass 50s American rides. Men cutting boys hair in the streets or walking their coffins through the streets together. Body confident women in dayglo spandex, swaying. Children in their little school outfits, running. The music. The revolution. The peeling paint, the crumbling buildings, the signs of time and inevitability everywhere. The beautiful perfect peeling paint, with its layers, ready to be pulled away.
Exotic Adventures in Smalltown, USA
by Emiliano Garcia-Sarnoff
Embracing the “one tribe together in harmony during the shortest days of the year” feeling is natural, but most of us fall on a spectrum of slippery, sloping consumerism. Diseases of the mind aside, potentially compelling trinkets are dropping in number every year like so many salty tears falling into oily watersheds. New music has always been one of my favorite gifts to give or receive. I find unique gifts hard to come by, and CD revenues don’t typically trickle up to the artistic source too efficiently. Considering the aforementioned theories, here are some suggestions of vendors to visit (constituting a sorry excuse for a “netlabel avalanche” as proposed in Part One of this saga). Rec72 A netlabel based in Cologne, Germany, Rec72 specializes in electronic music releases and accompanying music videos. They’ve been in business since 2007 and are home to a couple of my favorite artists (Small Radio and Spiedkiks). Rec72’s latest release, Fluffy Inside
3 by Pandacetamol, promises “twisted, dark ‘n’ funky acid”. Located at rec72.net. Records on Ribs RoR was the first label to excite me with an elusive, label-wide aesthetic. They offer many genres, yet some attribute or style of production runs through it all. It’s hard to describe, but I’d classify it as retro-modern musicians’ music if I had to. The two artists I’ve delved deep into here are Talk Less Say More (darkish side of ‘80s-‘90s, synth-pop) and Blue Ducks (good, clean, experimental hip-hop fun). For those who enjoy the heavier side of the rock, RoR delivers All The Empires of the World. From where this amateur metal and post-rock consumer is sittin’, they sound like professionals. Their manifesto also really hits the mark in many places. Here’s an excerpt: Records on Ribs is against nothing. We are not here ‘in reaction’ to anything. We are merely putting into practice what we believe [...] and if one hundred, one thousand, one million people want to do the same as us then good luck to them. What a world that would be! A torrent of creativity freed from profit. Located at recordsonribs.com. Also worth mention and quite possibly a few of your dollars are blocSonic Netlabel, Candy Says’ inaugural Bandcamp subscription model, or any of Cory Doctorow’s subversive writings (digital or printed). Personally, I am liquidating just one theory this holiday season: Value and cost are not necessarily inversely proportionate.
Free Culture by Alex O’Brien amateurzen.us
Riddikulus Heyoka and Ne’wekwe are two names for people called “sacred clowns” in native tribes. They had many functions, but their main purpose was to keep people on their toes, to help them avoid getting bogged down in complacency. Maybe the term “sacred clown” needs a rethink. Neither of those two words really resonates with the average modern person in a positive way, and a distressing percentage of the population would probably just visualize Ronald McDonald—or worse—anyway. How about “social jesters”? They exist today in the form of people like Jon Stewart, George Carlin (rest well, you ornery Irish bastard), or a Facebook commenter who makes you roffle and think “Huh. Never looked at [topic] that way before.” I think there’s a rich opportunity to increase the current numbers of social jesters, and on a grander scale. Life is more complicated—and there are way, way more people on the planet today—than in the days of the heyoka. More daily minutiae and more political leaders call for a proportionately greater need to prod, examine, and snicker at. Depending on your environment (or if you’re a deeply insecure politician), you might think this is an odd or even suspect declaration. Here’s why I’m saying this: This nation is crazy polarized right now, along a variety of lines. Fuck the whole “In God We Trust” debate—the word “United” next to “States” isn’t worth the space it takes up on our money. It’s de rigueur for many groups to be complete dicks to other groups. Some invest a lot of energy in doing so. Makes moving through the world quite a tap-dance, doesn’t it? A little confusing and exhausting, maybe? Insert an image of Mr. Burns hissing “Ex-cellent” here. Confused and exhausted people are easier to manipulate,
and are less inclined to give a rat’s about anyone who isn’t “me and mine.” Divide and conquer, baby. We’re living it. That’s why control freaks despise laughter (at least, the kind they’re not in control of). It releases. It unifies. It opens eyes. Remember the boggart in Professor Lupin’s class? [editor’s note: that’s a Harry Potter reference for you non-nerds] “We need to unify… so poke fun at stupid stuff” isn’t a suggestion to harass everyone outside your clique. (For one thing, you’d be outnumbered.) There’s a huge difference between ego-puncturing satire and bullying (a term I, having half a lifetime of war stories there, am sick. To. Death of hearing!) It’s about having your mind switched on, and even being compassionate. First, examine a thing objectively: Does this person take themselves way too seriously? Is that topic such a sacred cow that even bringing it up makes bystanders go quiet? If the answer’s yes, it’s an opportunity to bring the hubris down a notch. Just like with the boggart, the goal is to neutralize that suck-all-the-air-outof-the-room quality so that you can function, even in the face of that thing. Our society is afraid to breathe these days. How is that okay for “the land of the free”? Some people would take this approach as cynicism, and I can’t entirely refute that. But which is worse: sniggering at the ridiculousness of an elephant in the living room, or blithely continuing to pretend it isn’t there?
Consider the Platypus by Mona Treme
PHOTOS BY VINCE LATHAM FACEBOOK.COM/VANGUARD.PHOTOGRAPHY
On The Town
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GREAT SHORT STORIES Lotus Land, written by local writer William Wong Foey Local writer William Wong Foey author of best selling novel: Winter Melon releases his new book Lotus Land, a short story collection of bold and amazing stories of desire, despair, courage, and redemption. Available at Lyon’s Book Store at 135 Main (Chico) and in paperback & e-book at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, iTunes, & Direct Music Cafe. A special thanks to all the people who purchased my debut novel: Winter Melon. ADVERTISMENT 20
SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
DECEMBER 22 2014
by logan kruidenier logankruidenier.tumblr.com
December 22, 2014 By Koz McKev Aries
Taurus
Gemini
Cancer
Leo
Virgo
You are embarking on a new start. Pay attention to your public standing, your talents, and skills. This could indicate a change of career for you. What do you do that other people appreciate? Your social life has been more exciting with Mars transiting your eleventh house. Focus on completing creative projects that you began earlier in the year. Christmas day looks like a big party. Helpful friends could show up. You’ll have a better idea of what you need to do in the future. Late Saturday night the moon goes into Aries. A new game plan can be initiated then.
This is a lucky or fortunate time of year for you. Seek higher education, exotic experiences, and places that you have never been to before. Discover other religions and philosophies. Enhance your life by striving to be more open minded. This could be the time to consider enrolling in a course that could help your career later on in life. Monday and Tuesday are relatively fortunate days for you. Sometimes while we go through growth experiences there are growing pains as well. Christmas has you going through some sort of performance pressure ritual.
Mercury continues to travel through your eighth house. Transformation, change and allowing other people to do things for you are themes. Since yesterday’s new moon you may find yourself dealing with heavy emotional issues. Death, sex, and birth don’t always come easily. Having to go into debt or getting help from others is no bowl of cherries. From the night of the 23rd through Christmas Day you are likely to be traveling. These are very lucky days for you. The weekend has you in the public eye, perhaps taking on a new responsibility.
Who is our shadow? Are we the ideal mate or partner? Do we forgive ourselves and others with the same courtesy? How you engage with others is about to take on new meaning. Your relationship will either make you or break you. Monday and Tuesday could be powerful for decision making and love affairs. Desire is strong. Patience needs to be practiced. Whatever happens on Christmas Day is out of your control. The weekend goes much more smoothly, as the pressure is off and the moon will favor spiritual development.
Most things that are worthwhile require diligent attention, consistent effort, and a passion for the service that you provide. The workplace appears to be busier. Your need to coordinate team efforts is greater. Be aware of your specific health needs and try some new strategies. Sunday will be your best day. You may catch the spiritual essence of something. Meanwhile, stay organized and perform random acts of kindness. Make Christmas Day more about sharing and less about giving and getting. Some amount of negotiation is in order.
Be happy. Come from your heart. Don’t over-analyze every little detail. Avoid obsession. Be aware of your creative abilities. Mercury, Venus, the sun, Pluto and the moon are in your fifth house Monday and Tuesday. Be ready to smile more and to be open to having more fun. Do your service thing and be extra helpful for the holidays Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Do things to help increase your own physical stamina. Thursday through Saturday are especially good for romance. Find ways to encourage more fun.
Libra
Scorpio
Sagittarius
Capricorn
Aquarius
Pisces
The place we gain nurturing from tends to be our home. Do what you can to make your living environment more comfortable. Much of your focus is on feelings and the things that you are comfortable with. On Christmas Eve and Christmas Day you’ll be able to work a little of your magic in. Thursday through Saturday you’ll be focused on clean-up. By Sunday you’ll be conscious of what your next move should be and with whom. It’s best to know the history of things before moving forward with a new plan.
Our comfort zones are challenged by Mars transiting our fourth house. Fairness is an ideal that is difficult for others to wrap their minds around. The beginning of the week inspires communication, creative passions, travel and gleaning information. Find an aspect of your local environment that you love and care about. Thursday through Saturday will be good for art, children, love affairs, and playfulness. Keep a journal. Get more of your plans and musings in writing. Be aware of the needs of siblings and close friends.
This week your values are put in the spotlight. Self discipline becomes more important with Saturn moving into Sagittarius on Tuesday. Get rid of things that are superficial and no longer important to you. Walk your talk. Make purchases that others would appreciate, but also ones that reflect your core values. Christmas Eve and Christmas Day will activate your social life. Once the party is over you’re likely to feel like staying at home. On Sunday you’ll get another chance to express your generous nature.
You are reborn anew in the light of your day. The week begins powerfully with five planets in your first house of consciousness. Venus gives you love and good looks. Mercury makes you intellectually curious and makes you an honest communicator. Pluto gives you insights and helps you make changes. The sun gives you willpower, and the ability to draw others to you. The moon on Monday and Tuesday gives you an emotional connection to the direction you’re going. Christmas should reflect your core values.
Enter into your dream space and the people that you have karma with. Saturn enters your eleventh house on Tuesday. You have a specific goal that requires a certain kind of social situation for its fulfillment. Mars in your first house has you exploring new territory and acting more independently. The moon will be in Aquarius Christmas Eve as well as Christmas Day. You’ll be heard by others in spite of differing opinions. Continue to celebrate after Christmas. Realize that you have every chance to make a complete and utter fool of yourself.
Social demands are being made of you. This may mark a time where you enter a completely different social situation. Be around people that build each other up. Be the kind of friend that you want other people to be. Lay low and stay low keyed Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Late Christmas night through much of Saturday the moon will be in Pisces. Be sensitive to other people and the state of their emotions, as sensitivities tend to run high. Step out if you need to. Allow yourself the benefit of working with good people.
Koz McKev is on YouTube, on cable 11 BCTV and is heard on 90.1FM KZFR Chico. Also available by appointment for personal horoscopes call (530)891-5147 or e-mail kozmickev@sunset.net
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Declarations Happy New Year. Nothing can happen to you that is worse than living in fear that something could happen to you. –Cheri Huber (1944– ) It ain’t ignorance causes so much trouble; it’s folks knowing so much that ain’t so. –Josh Billings (1818–1865) The soul always knows what to do to heal itself. The challenge is to silence the mind. –Caroline Myss (1952— ) You are not your emotions. They flow through you. You feel them. And then they disappear. –Seth Kindness is more important than wisdom, and the recognition of this is the beginning of wisdom. –Theodore Isaac Rubin (1923– ) Nothing is more conducive to peace of mind than not having any opinions at all. –Georg Christoph Lichtenberg (1742–1799)
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important. –Bertrand Russell, philosopher and mathematician (1872–1970) My feeling is that there is nothing in life but refraining from hurting others, and comforting those who are sad. –Olive Schreiner, author (1855–1920) We have come to be one of the worst ruled, one of the most completely controlled and dominated governments in the civilized world—no government by free opinion, no longer a government by conviction and the vote of the majority, but a government by the opinion and the duress of small groups of dominant men. –Woodrow Wilson, 28th US president, Nobel laureate (1856– 1924) Nationalism is an infantile sickness. It is the measles of the human race. –Albert Einstein, peace activist (1879–1955)
Enlightenment is absolute cooperation with the inevitable. –Anthony de Mello (1931–1987)
Fascism should more appropriately be called Corporatism because it is a merger of state and corporate power. –Benito Mussolini (1883–1945)
Forgiving is not forgetting, it’s letting go of the hurt. –Mary McLeod Bethune (1875–1955)
The truth is that all men having power ought to be mistrusted. –James Madison (1751–1836)
Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway. –John Wayne (1907–1979) There is no place on Earth to spit. –Zen saying
I have always been an attorney for the defense. I can think of nothing, not even war, that has brought so much misery to the human race as prisons. –Clarence Seward Darrow, lawyer (1857–1938)
Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted. –Martin Luther King, Jr. (1939–1968)
I have no knowledge of myself as I am, but merely as I appear to myself. –Immanuel Kant (1724–1804)
Everything we imagine and know is inside. There is no outside. –Jane Roberts (1929–1984)
Nothing good in the world has ever been done by wellrounded people. The good work is done by people with jagged, broken edges, because those edges cut things and leave an imprint, a design. –Harry Crews (1935– )
My definition of a free society is a society where it is safe to be unpopular. –Adlai Ewing Stevenson (1900–1965), speech, Detroit, 1952 Everything I did in my life that was worthwhile I caught hell for. –Earl Warren (1891–1974) All that we are is the result of what we have thought. –Siddhartha Gautama (c. 566–480 bce)
By definition, a government has no conscience. Sometimes it has a policy, but nothing more. –Albert Camus (1913–1960) There is science, logic, reason; there is thought verified by experience. And then there is California. –Edward Abbey (1927–1989)
From The Edge
by Anthony Peyton Porter A@anthonypeytonporter.com
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SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM DECEMBER 22 2014