Pony Tales #7 by Stacey Yamada

Fighting the Clock Speedrunning on TL Ghetto Cook returns in PT! Check out his ghetto post-xmas shepherdâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s pie & bonus dessert

Ask Ponytales! You have questions, we have answers

Table of Cont Letter from the Editor

4 6

34 Funsies 82

Beyond Liquid G

Shame

Corner

tents

the

the Glass

Serious Business

ASK

16 TheBest of

Blogs

Ghetto cook

Ghetto PostXmas

Childâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Play & Ablegamers Interviews

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CREDITS

Letter from the Editor 4

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Welcome to the not-Xmas issue of Pony Tales! Of course, we have all your favourite features like funsies and serious business, but we also have a new recurring section - Ask Pony Tales! This is a section where our resident advice columinst, intrigue, will give you advice on whatever is troubling you - girls, games, life, family, you name it. Once again we have over 100 pages of content giving you the highlights of TL from the last three months. A series of unfortunate events delayed this issue of Pony Tales much longer than we wanted. I won’t go into the details here, but we will share some life lessons we have learned from these delays. Christmas is a time for families to come together and celebrate. It’s an event many of us take for granted; particularly as the novelty of gift giving during the Christmas has worn off and the most common Christmas gift you get is money in a card. But all too quickly can the normality of this routine be smashed by an unexpected event. Some of that misfortune ran our way this year, but it has given us all a reminder about how precious family is. The stories that many gamers have shared via their donations to the Prevent Cancer Foundation via AGDQ this year have also served as a reminder to appreciate family while everyone is still around. Even on TL there have been many reminders of how quickly things can be taken away. I won’t draw attention to them all but Snet’s blog shows how quickly things can change and danmooj1’s blog My Father is perhaps the most moving blog I have read on TL in the past year. Thank you to both of you, and anyone else that has done so, for sharing your stories with Team Liquid - they are not falling on deaf ears! As the holiday season has long passed us and we depart from our families and return to the daily grind -- keep in mind how quickly things can change. It might be time to pick up the proverbial phone and make 2013 a year where more effort is made to keep up with your family. I know I will.

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the

Speedrunning on TL.

Over the past week TL has featured AGDQ on the calendar and many of you have watched at some point. AGDQ has been a resounding success in every way - including the reception it received on TL. TL was amazing enough to band together and raise just over $15,000 for naming Steiner from FFIX Violet - in honor of the late KT Violet. We won the name (no name for you this year poxnor!) and also naming Steiner had the most money donated towards it out of all the AGDQ challenges. I would like to thank everyone who donated anything during AGDQ on behalf of the TL speed runners, it’s been truly phenomenal. AGDQ often inspires people to start running games for the first time - and we predict that more than a few of you will be picking up speedrunning SC2 to challenge tgun and Raelcun! Speedrunning can be a bit like progaming at times. In both cases, your first exposure to either speedrunning or progaming is a mindblowing experience. You think ‘how could anyone ever do this?’ due to the difficulty in what you are seeing. The relations go much deeper, to the point where picking up speed running and working your way up the ladder are very similar. You will have seen Flicky many times throughout AGDQ as he ran both Devil May Cry 3 and Left 4 Dead, and went on many a rant during the event. I was fortunate enough to sit down with him prior to AGDQ to pick his brains about all things speed running. After all, what better way to be inducted into the scene than by someone who is well involved? 6

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Flicky’s Advice for New Speedrunners 1) You gotta love it Nada once said something like ‘after a while the game itself is not what is fun, it’s the progress and creating on a product you’re happy with which is satisfying’. If you don’t love the game, you’ll find it much harder to get to that point. For me, DMC3 was always a game that kicked the crap out of me as a kid. Not only did I really enjoy the game, but the incentive to crush that game the ruined me as a kid provided that added incentive. Actually, this contributes to game choice quite often - revenge on that goddamn boss or whatever. 2) The speedrunners outlook will take time When you casually play, you’re not thinking too much about what you’re doing. You just play the game, enjoy/hate it and progress through the story. If you’re looking at it from a speedrunner’s point of view, you’re thinking about almost everything in a sense of how long it takes. Normal players aren’t worried about the door and they also don’t worry if they make a small mistake. But the speedrunner frame of mind is aware of all of these things while they play. Messing up is a big deal now because it’s a loss, rather than an inconvenience. It’s comparable to playing Starcraft and doing what you want and playing with a build order and strategy in mind. It takes time to develop and the more you do, the less hope there is for you - one day you’ll be the guy counting frames!! 3) Use SDA and SRL, but don’t burn yourself out! Speeddemosarchive (SDA) and Speedrunslive (SRL) are both invaluable sources of information for speedrunning. There’s a pretty good chance that someone has run the game before you, so checking to see what their route is gives you a great starting point for running the game yourself. Kinda like copying that build you saw last night and trying to replicate it on the ladder. If your game is popular, chances are you’ll be able to find someone to race in the SRL irc channel - which you can find on their website. I would also suggest that you do not have the goal of submitting to SDA when you start. That will just burn you out. Just try to enjoy yourself, and after a while you’ll know when the right time to start aiming for WRs is. 4) Stay mannered and interact with the community! The speedrunning community almost entirely consists of great people who are more than happy to spend some time and help you out. As long as you don’t say “omg i r best new wr, Super Mario Bros 18 minutes” you will only get good feedback and advice. If you are watching someone do live runs, chat to the runner if it’s possible. Unless they have 2000+ viewers, they’ll be super happy to chat with you and glad they have an audience. Don’t be afraid that you’re not good enough, there’s no serious casual bashing in the scene! 5) Start posting in the TeamLiquid Speedrunning thread! We have a small but friendly speedrunning thread on TL. We’re always happy to help and give advice where we can. We’re friendly to anyone speed running things - Tool Assisted Speedruns (TAS) included. So drop by and say hi!

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Speedrunning a new game fresh has three rough parts to it; devising the route, optimising the route and running the route. Devising a route is in many ways similar to working out a build order and game plan in Starcraft. To do this, Flicky starts by playing through the game writing down the route as he goes noting anything that could be useful to save time. Once he’s happy with the rough route, he will write out the route more in-depth and trying small deviations to see if they save time. “From there, it’s just a case of playing the game a bunch and (if possible) talking to other runners. There’s not a lot to making a route once you know what to look out for. The problem is learning how to optimise and clean up mistakes.” Once the route is set, it’s time for it to be optimised and eliminate errors. Can doing this section of the route be completed faster by clipping through a wall? Can a difficult technique be used to save time? Can I get a damage boost to make that tricky jump earlier? These are the kinds of questions that a speedrunner might ask when trying to optimise. While optimisation sounds like a lot of grinding and potentially very annoying, Flicky doesn’t believe that it is. “Once you know how to do it, it can actually be really satisfying”. The best optimisers are people who are able to look at what they’ve seen a hundred times before, and can still see it with fresh eyes and think of something new. You can look at it like a puzzle; where optimising is cutting out a part of the solution and still getting the same answer. “Grinding down the corners [of your run] and seeing your time drop is very rewarding”. During runs a speedrunner will normally keep a tab on all the mistakes that are made or if there are better ways to set up for any tricks. These mistakes can be later focused on and worked out in practice. While in some cases new routes are developed by changing the order in which things are done the most radical changes to routes come from glitches. Throughout AGDQ you will have seen countless numbers of glitches performed. Glitches which allow sequence breaks (i.e.

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playing the game in an order which was not intended) or wrong warps (allowing you to enter an unintended area after leaving an area) will often significantly change the route. This effectively restarts at least part of the routing/optimisation process. Because glitches can save so much time, it’s no surprise that the feature so heavily in many runs. Glitches are the subject of great interest to speedrunners, Flicky points out that speedrunners aren’t game breaking gods - “It’s incredibly rare that someone tries to break a game in that sense. Glitches and strategies are just found by trial and error more than anything else. Then once you’ve found one, there’s a rush to use it everywhere you think it might work“. The TAS community tend to be pretty good at breaking games, and the glitches they found are always tried in single segment runs to see if they work. Some TAS glitches would never work because they require superhuman reactions, so this needs to be kept in mind when attempting to recreate the glitch. Raelcun is probably most known for his Starcraft 2 brutal runs, but he also runs some other games. One of these is Mark of the Ninja and the development of his run over the past few months illustrates how glitches can change the route. The original run was more or less what the developer intended - there were multiple instances of AI abuse and checkpoint abuse but those are relatively minor ‘glitches’. Raelcun was grinding away at Mark of the Ninja, slowly decreasing the number of deaths per run and polishing the rough corners, when someone worked out that using the melee attack against various walls would allow you to clip through them. Upon hearing of this glitch Raelcun tried to use it in as many places as possible working out where he could save time. His first rough route using the new melee attack glitch easily broke his previous WR in the game. After some more polish, he worked his run down to around 30mins, down from 50~ mins before the melee glitch. Grinding out 1499 runs after touring and optimisation to break a world record (or personal best) may seem a daunting task to you now. But once you get started and working on a game you really enjoy, those 1499 runs will all be worth it in the end.

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Fight for a World Record Commander Keen 4 is a game which I have fond memories of from my childhood. Through some miracle, I ended up watching Commander Keen 4 speed runs on YouTube after CosmoWright had some content on his channel. This is how I came across CaneCraft and his intense world record battle against the Cosmo. (If you missed him during AGDQ, Cosmo is one of the most popular speed runners in the world.) I was even more shocked to find out that CaneCraft is actually Aylear from TL! There was no way I was going to let the opportunity to talk to a speed runner who was actively engaged in a world record battle slip by. It didn’t take much coercing for him to give a detailed account of his history and Commander Keen 4. The following is written by Aylear for PonyTales. Some useful reference information Current World Record Aylear’s PB Good explanation about the Commander Keen 4 run

Although I always enjoyed being good at games, and actually beating some of the hardest sons-of-bitches out there (like Earthworm Jim and Battletoads), I didn’t play games to beat them *quickly* before Portal. Now that was a fun one. Precision mouse movements combined with optimal routes -- it was a blast. I (very briefly) had the record for 2-3 rooms, but they were quickly beaten by people who were taking it more seriously, who were coming up with better routes, and who actually knew what the hell they were doing. Such is speedrunning, and for me, it’s a big part of what I like about the scene so much: It’s a community of absurdly skilled players who have practiced something relentlessly until they are able to execute it without fail. Fans of professional StarCraft can certainly appreciate this fact, which - as an aside - I think is why there is such overlap between those communities. Just look at Flicky and Drazerk, look at Raelcun. The speedrunning thread on TeamLiquid is quite active. Oh, yes, sorry. Portal. I soon stopped speedrunning when all the out-of-bounds stuff was discovered in Portal. I figured it would happen eventually, and I wasn’t interested in learning a glitch run at the time, so I stopped playing. I still loved watching speedruns, and when livestreaming took off for real with the launch of Justin/Twitch, it was easy to find fun streamers who took it upon themselves to completely break a game into its component materials. Siglemic, CosmoWright -- still the biggest names in speedrunning. 10

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My interest in speedrunning grew around 2011, 2012. It wasn’t long before I wanted to run a game for real - not just segments, not just messing around, but actively working towards running a game as fast as I could. My eyes fell on my old Commander Keen floppies, and I was shortly dropped headfirst into a race with Cosmo Freaking Wright for world record holder of Commander Keen 4. Uh, I think I’m skipping ahead a little. I didn’t know at the time who had the record -- I just watched a few runs of it on YouTube to see how the runs generally went, then I set out to improve on it. I streamed my progress for the fun of it. It was a natural progression, which can probably be quickly summarized as “I wanted to speedrun a game I really liked, so I picked a childhood favorite and just started playing.” The start of my speedrunning I-hesitate-to-call-it-a-career was greatly aided by CosmoWright, who was happy to take time out of his day to talk to a complete newcomer like myself about running Commander Keen, and all the problems with it (sound on versus sound off, CPU cycles in DOSBox, the works). We were in communication when I started running. It’s a really good thing for your overall morale to be as instantly and overwhelmingly welcomed by a community as I was - and, it is my experience that it’s like this for everyone - when I started running. They’re a friendly bunch. =) After I went through my official ceremonial initiation where I got a fabulous new robe, I learned that the speedrunning community generally advises new people to just pick a game they like or have fond memories of, and to ask questions of other speedrunners. You’ll get a variant of the same story out of most of them. The only “story” to my speedrunning, I think, is the friendly rivalry with CosmoWright for the mantle of world record holder of Commander Keen 4. That has been a pretty phenomenal first foray into speedrunning, being locked in a constant race with the previous world record holder. That alone just sent a lot of stream viewers my way.

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It’s weird, though -- I rarely feel as though I’m competing against Cosmo, or even competing against some other person that’s in the running. I usually feel like we’re both competing against the game to get the best possible times we can (because it’s one trolly bastard of a game), and we genuinely celebrate each other’s victories... always with a grin, mind you, and with a promise to take it back. And I will. Sub 10:27. Shots fired. ;) 10:25 is probably at the very edge of human potential, so Cosmo’s current world record of 10:28 is rubbing right up against it. Even though we keep breaking records, I think we’re always wrong when it comes to our expectations of how far we can push the game. We always try to predict where the line is -- that line where it’s silly to think that a human being can compete. And then someone goes and breaks it. Cosmo and I once theorized that 10:30 was the approximate limit. Then he broke 10:28, the game happily throwing him every bone it possibly could the whole way through, and even then there were several mistakes made, ones we could both easily fix (using the speedrunner definition of the word “easily”). That’s why I’m aiming for 10:26, and not 10:27.99. Similarly, there may be things in our runs that can be improved or reworked, little things we’re not aware of. That’s why a fresh pair of eyes are always welcome. For the moment, the only thing I *know* of to improve is just basic execution, so that when the game does let you get a good run going, you don’t mess it up halfway through. That’s all just practice and grinding. =) The number of runs it to break a record depends entirely on the game being played -- and in the case of Commander Keen 4, on about two dozen coin flips turning out the way you need them to for a perfect run. It is one trolly bitch of a game to play, and right around run 1,100 I was just about ready to start sacrificing myself to the Evil Slug God in the desperate hope that it would placate those slimy bastards. 12

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When a good run gets going I do feel the pressure to perform and put up a good time. I don’t know what it’s like for other speedrunners, especially those who have been doing this for years like CosmoWright, but I certainly do. When I am on the final leg of the game and all of my checkpoints are in the green, I tense up and my heart starts racing. It’s a legitimate concern that I will make a mistake just because I’m nervous. I try to tell myself to just relax, that it’s not a big deal and that I have and will be in this position fifty times over. And then I look back at the screen and go “oh shit, I’m gonna get the world record.” It hasn’t helped yet. ;) Whenever I take a break from Keen 4 for a while (as I did the last time I claimed the world record), whenever I got back into it, I would always practice individual levels a few dozen times before starting a complete run. There’s a couple of problem spots that require perfect precision - the ceiling clip in The Perilous Pit comes to mind - and if the game is being generous and setting you up with a good run without trolling you too badly, dying due to user error feels all the more frustrating. Nothing worse than being on par for the world record and messing up on a non-random level that you honestly should know how to handle ten times out of ten. I speedrun games because it’s an incredibly rewarding experience. It’s an arena wherein you can quickly see the results of your relentless practice. It’s challenging every day, and to be able to *see* all the hard work pay off is a good experience for human beings, I think. It’s a good teacher of perseverance. I will probably speedrun games while I still derive this much enjoyment out of the process. If I can entertain some of my stream viewers while doing it, that just completes the package. I’m looking into possibly running Another World for my next project. There’s some fun stuff you can do in there to skip entire sections, but a single segment run is still around the 10 minute mark. For now, I’m picking games where I can practice sections over and over, and expect january

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to see them all in any one play-through. I don’t have the time right now to spend working on optimizing a four-hour run. Maybe the next one will be something like Mark of the Ninja. I’ve been watching Raelcun deftly breaking that game apart, and he’s gotten it down to sub-30 minutes. The glitchless run is around ~45 minutes right now, which sounds appealing to me. What does the future hold for speedrunning as a whole? I have absolutely no idea. I haven’t seen it progress over time, so I don’t have the same kind of insight that Flicky might possess. I also think that predictions about the future usually turn out to be notoriously inadequate and incorrect, so I hesitate to even try. =) I’ll make a blanket statement. As long as humans exist, there will be people who love competing. As long as video games exist, there will be people who relish the challenge of beating them. There are clearly people out there who absolutely love watching this stuff, as evidenced by the viewer count of the speedrunning marathons held several times a year. The always incredible Awesome/Summer Games Done Quick have raised over $700,000 for charity over the years. And every year, they raise a little more. Speedrunning’s not going anywhere for a while. =)

A speedrunning show that’s every Sunday at 7PM EST with flicky, feasel, PJ and duckfist, with 2 or more special guests joining every week.

Useful Speedrunning Sites Speed Demos Archive Speed Runs Live TL Speedrunning Thread Speedrunning Reddit 14

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Notable TL Speedrunners

CarlSagan

Flicky

See Flicky

3d Action games (ie. Bayonetta & Devil May Cry), Left 4 Dead (4-player co-op)

Freezard

Lee

Has current best runs for the Brood War Campaign. Also runs Left 4 Dead with me.

Runs Fallout 1 & 2, Yoshiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Island

Raelcun

Drazerk

Starcraft 2 Brutal & Mark of the Ninja

Final Fantasy IX, Kingdom Hearts 358/2 & other JRPGS.

Aylear

Commander Keen 4 (battling Cosmo for WR)

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Serious Business Coagulation has been hard at work bringing to life â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Liquidia and the Hotbot sagaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; - the epic battle between Liquid`Blue and Hotbot. These were characters whose development were directly influenced by the community in the threads Blue Creature and Blue Robot respectively. How will the saga end?

teamliquid.net

Ret quits smoking Archas wrote: Ret < Ash Tray > Cigs Ret < Messy Room > Cigs Ret < StarCraft Marathon > Cigs Ret < Good Health > Cigs Ret < Long Life > Cigs

How not to be bad at minesweeper

Foolishness wrote: Minesweeper is a game that most everyone knows about. For the majority of people, it’s a game that you tried after you gained access to a computer for the first time as it was conveniently placed in the “Games” folder. You click squares and numbers appear, or if you’re unlucky you click a mine and the game tells you to try again. The rewards are selfsatisfaction, bragging rights if you’re fast enough, and in the old days a smiley face wearing sunglasses. Read more

The Slayers drama and subsequent disbanding may have been a bit confusing for you. Well, here is the Team Slayers and ESF situation explained using the one of the best analogies posted on TL. If that isn’t good enough, well then on the next page there is the complete Slayers timeline thanks to Proseat! Click here for the timeline! (Issuu users it’s at the back of the issue.)

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Click the image for the comic!

‘My Ten Years are up’

- FuDDx reflects on his time with TeamLiquid. FuDDx wrote: ... Thank you TEAMLIQUID.NET !!! Thank you everyone all you old schoolers all you new schoolers..... and even you darn youngin SC2 babys !!! Thank you for being a part of my life and Loves for letting me share with you in good and bad (over 100 blogsOO) all my crazy confusing words!! and Cool balloons. And it all started with BroodWar.... Thats why BW ....... ....... I LOVE YOU <3 TL FuDD I had wanted to do more for 10 years but you all get hours of my work in picture form so...Im calling the no time you got balloons now shush card ^.Read more.

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Tin statue of a hydralisk? Yes please! Tin Soldier >>>

Check out fusefuseâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s other art work (and an update on his military service) here.

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One of the cool things about TL is that many progamers pop by on the forums. And in this case, even GSL Champion LG-IM.Seed. 07 2012 16:29 nebula. wrote: Ok so around a week ago I made a blog post concerning a song Seed was playing while he was streaming. http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/viewblog.php?id=378693 Nothing worked, no SoundHound or anything like that. So I decided to PM Seed here on TL, desperate to find out what this music was... Today when I woke up I had a PM in my inbox from a GSL Champ. Was pretty happy, partly because it’s really awesome but also because I finally found out what song this was -- who made it and what it was called. I was gonna make this blog post right as I received the PM but I realized, shouldn’t I post a link to the song somewhere in my blog post? So I searched for the song’s name and found basically nothing. With help from Google Translate the closest I could get to the full song was a web-based mp3 player entirely in Korean. I had no idea what I was doing. I think I got the Korean name of the song though -- 산죠 오하시 아래에서. I’m not sure though... And well, now I realized I’m probably never gonna get a hold of this song. Which fucking sucks. I don’t know what’s worse really -- not knowing what the song is called or knowing what the song is called but not being able to listen to it lol....... Anyways, here’s what I got from Seed:

IM_Seed :RE hi this song is < Jusqua`s Grand-Pere - 三条大橋の下で (Sanjo Oohashi No Shitade ) > have a nice day.

So polite, so nice, so smart... He’s even nice enough to let Sniper and sOs win against him... Now that’s manner.

teamliquid.net

We had a few glimpses into the reality of progaming from the eyes of various people within the scene, as well as some personal stories. Everyone one is worth a read so go do that now!

Xeris tells all I’ve been debating for a few weeks whether to write this all, and even to post it.... I figured I would because I’m going through a pretty drastic change in my life, I’m almost 25, and I’ve been thinking a lot. I feel like explaining a bit about myself. So here goes.... Read more

merz’s goodbye I’ve thought a long time about writing this, but I just didn’t know how to. I know that I am not a big person within the ranks of pro-gamers, I was average at best, with few moments of greatness, and therefor I never really felt like I wanted my retirement to be “announced” like something big just happened. Especially when there are far more successful people who has said good bye to SC2 lately. So instead I choose to write this as a personal letter of good bye, to the community I’ve always cared the most about: Teamliquid... Read more

Everything me: iNcontroL On November 19 2012 17:44 iNcontroL wrote: I leave in two days for my trip to Dreamhack Winter where I will be a featured caster. I am fucking ecstatic. I love casting. I love the idea of entertaining people that love what I love: Starcraft. I love the idea of working with the best eSports production team and casting alongside (in my opinion) the best all-around commentator Apollo. That said, I leave from there to go get married 7 days from that Sunday and I won’t be back at the Lair until early January. An entire month of getting married, honeymoon and then Christmas.. this means very little actual SC2. I can play at my Mother’s house where my brother lives but that ain’t much and it will only be at the tail end of December. I have never gone that long without SC2 so it got me thinking.. and now I want to share my thoughts... Read more

Could this be the best Xmas presen

hie! And s u l p g n i l e Ban tructed. s n o c s a w t how i

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Liquipedia Efficiency On December 31 2012 17:24 mikkmagro wrote:

desRow will be joining FXOâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s North American roster.

On December 31 2012 17:30 mikkmagro wrote:

you edited the FXO Liquipedia page

On December 31 2012 17:28 Seeker wrote:

How do you always find this stuff out so quickly?

On December 31 2012 17:57 Seeker wrote:

Yes I realize that. But how did you know about it so quickly?

On December 31 2012 18:02 mikkmagro wrote:

Special:RecentChanges :X

On December 31 2012 18:34 Seeker wrote:

Oo;; sick...

Awesome Secret Santa present!

Finishing highschool in Korea - one Canadianâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s journey.

Bored? Why not color in some SC2 pictures?

teamliquid.net

TeamLiquid.net Achievements by shz. How many points have you earned? (Maybe we should implement them on TeamLiquid?)

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by intrigu

As a user that passed 1k posts not too long ago, I'm wondering how the report function should be used. I think I've used it maybe 2-3 times, and I'm wondering what kind of a post is a reportable one. I've been on the ABL, but I still don't know what constitutes an abuse of the report-button and what is a good use of the report-button. TL;DR How should I use the report-button so I don't end up getting anti-karma'd and then banned from the function. - New Forum Batman

Dear New Forum Batman, All accounts receive a report function one year after registration. New reports immediately show up at the very top of the page in this nauseating yellow and red message for all moderators until they are resolved. They can be very useful or a burden depending on what reports we get. For now though, the simplest advice I can offer you though is to remember the reason you are here in the first place - to hang out with people with similar interests. You have those buttons to help keep this place fun for everyone, not to be a disgusting tattletale (you disgusting tattletale). These are the most helpful report reasons: - personal insults or unnecessary aggressiveness - malicious posters, excess negativity - advertising - memes/macro images - blatant balance whine If you don’t know if a post is reportable/can’t think of a good reason for your report, I suggest you PM a mod, find a relevant thread in website feedback, or post in the Ask TL Staff thread. Filing a report with “?” as the reason and quoting a random post makes mods cry. You literally create a new thread that we have to open, read, and then close. We keep statistics on the proportion of each user's reports that lead to specific moderation actions. Some users have reports that result in action as high as 70-80% of the time, which is really helpful. There are also users whose reports end up being closed, without action, at that same frequency. Please help make our jobs easier.

teamliquid.net

Dear Pony Tales! First of all, thank you for giving me this opportunity and I really hope you can help me! See, there’s a girl in my class who likes Starcraft (I’ve seen her play Starjeweled through her bedroom window). I’m not exactly the most outgoing of persons and don’t really have a lot of friends or a lot of money to throw so what should I do to get her attention? I’m worried that if I hit it off by asking “So..... you like starcraft?”, that she would realize that I’ve been stalking her! Also, if you can help me devise a plan to... ask her out, and it goes well, I’d ideally want a backup plan to get out of the situation as well. Because uhm, I’m diamond and if shes a casual and ONLY plays Starjeweled or even LoL, I’m not going to be interested . How do I go about approaching this intriguing prospect? Thanks in advance, Yours truly, Bunkrrush_96

Dear Bunkrrush_96, I read a site called TeamLiquid.net sometimes and there sure are lots of comments saying how picking Zerg and making brood lords and infestors will make you the best player in the world. If these comments are to be trusted, you could be making a lot of money. This would lift you out of poverty and give you a shot at this girl. One day, your prospective reproductive partner will log onto Battlenet and see your face right there, maybe even with (to use the vernacular) mad digits indicating how much money you’ve won. Did you know that people are actually exactly as attractive as the dollar amount of their net worth? You’re all set! As for her skill level – a diamond player should be able to carry a bronze into at least gold, which is the #1 league. Congratulations, you are now a power couple! P.S. I understand your revulsion for LoL players, but they are products of the universe just like you and me. I have even encountered some in real life and, through direct observation, must testify that they are capable of reacting to basic stimuli (whether these are true reflexes or just base tropisms, we can only guess). They eat too, suggesting metabolism, and that’s already two physiological functions indicative of life. There’s no need for cruelty here.

january

2013

Hey Pony Tales, I have a friend I play 2v2 with in SC2 who is a bit better than me. I’m plat 1v1 and he’s diamond, so he usually carries us in our games (we’re in diamond). When we lose though, he really becomes a bully. He’ll diss me on all chat, and leave on something like “youre lucky my ally is terrible” (even if we haven’t lost yet). then he tells me how bad I am in party chat. What sucks is I don’t know of other SC2 players in my school or neighborhood, so my only other option is only 1v1 which i don’t like at all. - Blamed and Berated

Dear BB, It's normal to get flustered the first time a normally fine, cool-headed person freaks out at you over an online game loss. I remember the possibilities that ran through my head the first time it happened – maybe this guy is just trying to be funny and doing a very bad job... maybe he had a bad day? Month? Year? Maybe he's thirteen. Maybe he’s just a sore loser. It could be anything. Whatever the cause, this is your only life and getting yelled at during your playtime is straight unacceptable. For his sake and your own, address this quickly. Something like, "Hey nerd, I just wanna relax and play for fun... let's not worry about wins so much" (might want to leave out the nerd) is hard to take offense at and reminds him why you even play games with him. Suggest funny strats to try and take advantage of small in-game things such as sharing control and minimap pings. These really help smooth over lapses in communication, which are the biggest contributor to petty conflict. If your friend is still set on making it on SKT1 as their premier diamond-league 2v2 player, then at least you know it's just a fundamental difference in how you each perceive reality. You could try unranked matches in HotS eventually, but in the meantime I'd just take a look in our Community subforum for nicer friends to play with.* You can even just make a blog looking for casual allies who aren't maddies. On the plus side, you will have learned very early on to be nice to even the worst of allies. *I know it can feel bad to think of things this way, your friends are, after all, your friends for a reason. If you’re uncomfortable with the idea of looking for “nicer friends” to play games with, just think about it as looking for “better humans” to enjoy your free time with. You’re not “ditching a friend” because they’re not upbeat enough, you’re tossing some piece of humanoid refuse on the great recycling heap of life. What could be more rational than that?

teamliquid.net

Hi, For obvious reasons, I would like to remain anonymous for this submission. Lately, a group of friends and I have been playing games of Dota 2 together. We all join a Skype call and talk to one another throughout the evening. We choose heroes that will work together, plan meticulously, try to make sure we call everything we notice out for the rest of the group, you know the schtick. Often, it happens that, once we have joined a game, I discover a malicious streak otherwise alien to me. I sit in the game for the first few minutes, being a good sport, but then I begin to actively obstruct my team. I do this in subtle ways; I don't feed the other team, I simply stop last-hitting, or occasionally I will last hit when another player on my lane needs the gold. I will use skills at inappropriate times, mistarget things, create unfavourable walls, or cast magic-immunity on a player who I know will need to be healed in the next few seconds. All of this self-sabotage can be chalked up to my own ineptitude. No one suspects a thing. I suppose my question to you is... why am I compelled to do this? What is wrong with me? Can you help me, please? Yours, 2Legit2Feed

Dear Maelk2Legit2Feed, There is nothing wrong with you. You are simply following your prime directive to be happy. Believe in yourself and refine your art. To avoid suspicion, I encourage you to sometimes exhibit improvement by slowly phasing out the most basic “mistakes” you make and find more devastating, insidious ones to perfect. For example, try placing wards perfectly so as to give no useful vision (but in otherwise reasonable locations on the minimap) to lull your team into a false sense of security. Over time, your allies will come to believe that you are more reliable than you are actually willing to be. Perhaps one day there will come a critical moment when all their hopes are resting upon your devilish shoulders, whenupon you can fail in the most spectacular fashion. How good would that moment feel – their pathetic vocalizations of dismay, your heart shining, knowing how you have botched the unbotchable... it makes me smile just to think of it. I know your affliction well, for it is my own. There is something beautiful in the very act of subtle self-sabotage. Perhaps it is the smooth alliteration, the sibilance of the phrase, smooth and criminal. Believe in yourself!

january

2013

Original Message From RTS Hipster: Should I start playing SC2? I used to play BW. I still play Total Annihilation. Or, should I wait until HotS? - RTS Hipster Dear RTS Hipster, I admit, I never played Total Annihilation much, but I’m not too enthusiastic about your chances of enjoying SC2. Brood War and TA have this grandness of scope that you may find very lacking in WoL, where winning a game feels a little empty instead of triumphant, and losing is accompanied by a profound sense of helplessness. As your electronic soul is blasted back into the Battlenet interface, you realize how cleverly it simulates the in-game experience by making you feel both empty and helpless. Where are the channels bustling with people? How do I rejoin that fun UMS lobby I just played? The counterargument to all this is, of course, that HotS will require WoL anyway. If you want to get a head start skill-wise, the core mechanics of WoL will carry over into HotS too. HotS will have more things to do and some of them seem interesting. Perhaps these will make for a richer, more stable game, like caulk in the hull of a sinking boat. Units like widow mines and swarm hosts look promising in terms of improving the game’s pacing, Battlenet functionality is improving, and even the color scheme is better. The most recent balance update seems to be moving us in the right direction and if this continues long enough perhaps we’ll have a game on our hands. With HotS only three months away, the only reason I can think of for starting WoL is if your friends are playing it. Otherwise, just wait. I believe your entire impression of SC2 will be better for it.

teamliquid.net

at Write to us

id.ne u q i L m a e T PonyTales@ ee if e'll s w d n a M P or ut. o u o y p l e h we can

january

2013

Funsies GulpyBlinkeyes wrote: Pony Tales is kinda like herpes. It always goes dormant just long enough for me to forget about it, but then all of the sudden--bam--itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s back. The main difference is that people enjoy it when I share Pony Tales with them.

Flamehweelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 20000th Post: From the thread:

[H] Ideas for 20k flamewheel wrote: What do I do?

from the thread:

[Trade] Your balls for 15 more years of life Blazinghand wrote: I don't think I'd have the balls to make a decision like that.

teamliquid.net

From the Thread:

Ten Commandments MiraJJang wrote: I'm your fan. you know me. i'm mira or youngca. I saw the first time on December 15, 2007. I think, oh he very nice gamer, he very gorgeous!!, oh... and... so cute! ! I quickly fell for you. and... now October 5, 2012 i still your fan, long long.. old fan!!!! forever fan !!!! i'll never forget you!!!!! bosung!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!! i always cheer you!!!!!!!!!!!!!donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t forget you too!!!! ok? understand?? i hope ... when next gsl, or osl ... i see your game direct !!!!!!!!!!!!!ok?? fighting bosung!!!

From the Life vs MVP Code S finals... Weirdkid wrote: The game was over when it got to 3-3. The answer to Life is 4-2, not 4-3

january

2013

Credit: Shady Sands from Why you shouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t qq about girls

Anta wrote: Blizzard is harder to understand than any women 8[

From the Crank and MMAâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s accounts Thread: regarding SlayerS Golbat wrote:

I knew Jessica was just twisting the truth. I'm glad that it's all come out, but i'm sad that it had to end this way. I hope that this isn't the end of Boxer's playing career though. That would be the worst of all.

babylon wrote:

I don't get why everything Jessica said now is wrong just because these 2 say something different BUT ok.

rasers wrote:

GOLBAT used CONFUSE RAY! But it failed!

teamliquid.net

Click for wallpaper

toopham has some mod feedback:

GMarshal wrote:

monk. wrote:

remake this thread respectfully, and I'll allow it to stay open!

Yea, still not good enough. Eventually..

Lastly, toopham swears revenge to kwark toopham wrote:

I must thank you for the ban Kwark. These 2 weeks will give me time to think and plan. You have not seen the last of me yet Kwark

And then... toopham was just banned by Kennigit. That account was created on 2005-12-30 12:45:42 and had 551 posts. Reason: I usually vote conservative, but sometimes liberal depending on the candidates. Banned for being wrong about my political allegiances. january

2013

From the Malfeasance in Moderation: Thread: An Evaluation of Kwark neversummer wrote: [...] Concluding Argument: Although previously mentioned, I'd like to reiterate this is neither a witchhunt nor is it a criticism of any TL staff aside from Kwark. Furthermore, I'd like to commend a certain member of the TL staff and fellow banling, who will remain nameless, for his civility, professionalism and help in resolving this issue. He was the one who provided me with information regarding the rebuttal process, and although he could not lift my ban, provided me with all of the necessary information. Kwark is ill-suited for his position as moderator as evident via the aforementioned allegations and ensuing evidence presented. TL;DR: Kwark needs to go. Hot_Bid wrote: After reviewing the ban and all your arguments I've decided to elevate Kwark to banling level 2. Congrats Kwark on your promotion.

From the Thread:

Panda Express 2.1

teamliquid.net

Complain wrote: Hello, im 16 years old, im from Israel, I play almost 1 year in SC2 In my country the SC community is not big not a lot of gaming house or anything like that. So if i will try become pro gamer it won't be in my country. I just want to know if its worth the try to start playing a lot and try to become pro gamer. btw im currently in the platinum league.

From the Thread:

Creative Development QnA

Blizzard wrote:

Nimix wrote:

That's the reasoning for Jim's surprising actions. Now, the counterargument would be, players didn't go through those four years with Jim. They didn't experience thatâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;so they experienced a disconnect. Jim went from one attitude straight into another. This is a completely valid argument. Hence no lan mode.

From the Thread:

Stupid bans and warning

Fenrax wrote:

Coagulation wrote:

I know this is a big QQ post but this is annoying me since a while. I have assembled quite the warning / ban history by now and some of them were certainly well deserved. I have posted my share of stupid shit over the years, no doubt. But on the other hand I have assembled so many wrong warnings and bans by now that I have to say something about it. Here is my collection of what I think are the worst mod decisions against me... row row row your boat gently DOWN WITH THE SYSTEM!!x january

2013

From the kierpanda goes as (black) Thread: Bomberman for Halloween!

teamliquid.net

january

2013

From the Thread:

Susieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Halloween Party

ZidaneTribal wrote: is that a stork costume

Flash defeats Naniwa xunzue wrote: checkmate atheists

teamliquid.net

Click image to watch gif!

Wintex wrote: Having Bomber as your favorite is like BDSM. Sometimes it's can get painful. Other times, it's a delight. Even when he struggles a bit.

revel8 wrote: In this tournament I've been cheering for Polt, Bomber and Life. So you could say I've simultaneously been both proChoi's and pro-Life.

Jaaaaasper wrote: Obama is pulling ahead in Florida again, romney is down to 3 floating factories and a burning cc.

january

2013

@idrajit (Greg Fields) guess i shouldntve talked so much shit about blizzard

teamliquid.net

From the Dustin Browder WCS Thread:

TL Interview

Rannasha wrote: What's missing in the summary is that Dustin Browder said the word "right" 121 times (give or take a few due to miscounting) during the 32 minute interview. That's once every 16 seconds, including the time that monk was doing the talking. That's crazy, right? Champi wrote: Me and BiGbiRd just played a drinking game where u have to drink everytime Dustin says "Riiiighhhtt???" at the end of his sentences. we are so fucked up right now, we went through like 5 beers each in 30 mins.! ! haha but we love u dusty. u cop a lot of rage from ppl who just wanna see their race thrive, and i commend u for being so positive and loveable in your interviews, and giving everyone insight about why blizzard make some of the decisions they make in regards to balance and design P.S. If u want mothership to be a gimmicky fun team game unit not meant for e-sports. BRING BAK THE ARBITER IN HOTS PLZ!!! :D :D :D :D

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Right?â&#x20AC;?

january

2013

From the Thread:

My crazy morning DragonflySC2 wrote: ive had one hell of a morning LOL EDIT: By the way im 19 turning 20 in January Some guy pulls up to my house in a creepy ass white van unmarked and looked creepy as hell. No one answered the door so I saw him go back to the van. He then pulled out some weird key thing and sprinted towards my door and started furiously jiggling the knob. I thought he was going to break in so I set my alarm, ran out the back door, thus setting the alarm off, and bolted jumping over my fence into my neighbor's yard. At this point, I heard his van peel out and my neighbor came out saying that was a "flower guy" coming to drop off flowers for my family that she ordered. WTF. I go around to my front door and see a flower notification on my door knob, hence the jiggling of the knob. A few minutes later a cop comes and asks what went on. I was flustered as fuark so I barely even answered his questions, not to mention I had a yodel in my hand. Then I went to class. From the SK Telecom T1 looking for Thread:

Terran practice partners HwanjaeTerran wrote: This is how hard they have to look to find someone Bisu can beat.

From the Thread:

RTV #2: Why I Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Have a Boyfriend Azera wrote: Why do you have a poster of yourself (is it?) and 2 dogs getting it on in your room? Gene wrote: You're missing a comma. Or something. Any kind of syntax indicating these are two separate things.

teamliquid.net

Alzadar wrote: These new ketchup bottles by Heinz are total bullshit. Like what in the hell. I'd like to think I'm pretty smart. But apparently I can't outsmart a fucking ketchup bottle. These things are goddamn fortresses. I've been trying for literally half an hour and I can't get any ketchup to come out. I've tried squeezing, I've tried twisting the top (pretty sure it's all one piece), I've tried sticking a pencil in the hole. Nothing. At this point my dinner is cold. I'll eat this hamburger dry with no ketchup. But it's not about the ketchup anymore. It's me vs a bottle, and it's personal. gg I lose to ketchup bottle I've tried looking for some kind of Heinz customer support phone number to complain about this ketchup fortress, but I can't even find that. I feel like the bottle is mocking me with its ridiculous "Guess What My Bottle Is Made Of?" slogan. Sure, I'll guess, the bottle is made of fucking adamantium?

Alzadar wrote: Wow now I feel like an idiot, I had even sent an email to Heinz bitching about their new fortress bottles. Oh, I should probably fill you guys in, in case someone else has the same problem (everyone hates those edit: nvm fixed the problem posts!). Turns out that it wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t all one piece, I needed to first twist off the top and remove a seal. But god damn was that cap on tight, I swear it didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t budge at all. And Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve seen bottles like it with no seal, just squeeze for ketchup.

january

2013

Godwrath wrote: 100 pages and no balance whine yet. What do you say bisu ?

-Strider- wrote: I want a Liquid member, a fan favorite, a foreigner and a Terran in the semifinals. opterown wrote: Liquid`Jinro?

Na_Dann_Ma_GoGo wrote: "More beautiful than you Grubby." *cringe* Ryps wrote: Everyone knows hes an orc who married a night elf :D

teamliquid.net

kafkaesque wrote: A little downtime-story, how Dreamhack screwed me over hard: Yesterday, while I was cleaning, my hot (kind of) neighbour ringed my doorbell and we had our first little chat in months. I was just on the point of asking her in, when suddenly "Barby Girl" started blasting. The stream had been silent to that point. I give her an awkward, apologetic "guilty pleasure" kind of smirk, muttering something about radio. Two minutes later when the faux-pas was almost forgotten and the song was finally over:

Everybooooody, yeeeaah, rock your boooody, yeaaah, everyboody, Backstreet's back, ALRIGHT!

january

2013

At this last WCG, the English commentators were sometimes forced to cast games that they didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t play or watch very much. motbob made a highlight video illustrating one of those times. Enjoy watching DoA making the best of a bad situation.

From the Thread:

Unholy Alliance joofro92 wrote: wooo so...... are we rising or falling now? or just standing still?

teamliquid.net

From the Thread:

Bob Costas

jdseemoreglass wrote: A lot of people have been giving Bob Costas some heat recently for the comments he made during Sunday Night Football, in which he interrupted his half-time coverage to talk about guns. The most quoted statement is this: "If Jovan Belcher didn't possess a gun, he and Kasandra Perkins would both be alive today." [...] If that microphone had not been in that building, none of this would have happened. Bob Costas is not to blame, the microphone is to blame. And we as a society are to blame, for allowing a microphone to be turned on and placed in front of him. Incze wrote: I think it's silly to blame it on the microphone, personally. It's not the gun's fault if I go on a rampage, it's just an inanimate object. and with that microphone comes responsibility, which he should've known by now, you can't just say anything that comes on your mind during a broadcast, especially a talk about guns at a football event. It's his fault only for the controversy he caused, and of the people who put him there in the first place. By his statement he wished to do nothing but create even more controversy (hey it's not the man's fault it's the damn GOVERNMENT) and he was, or should've been conscious about that when he made it I just hope I'm not being romanian again and fallen into another trap blog, I'm bad at getting jokes, so sorry if it's that january

2013

DeCoder wrote: Actually that "the rest of the world vs USA" argument is inaccurate. Along with the USA, the imperial system is used in - Liberia - Myanmar I wonder who's going to be the last to change over? jdseemoreglass wrote: Compiled reasons why the Metric system (*cough gay*) sucks and why Imperial is better. 1) When I measure, I measure like a man. Not like some girly European socialist. "Ooh, let's have some crumpets and walk a kilometer holding hands!" Pfff. 2) Kids love Fruit By The Foot. You want to give kids Fruit By The Meter? We already have an obesity epidemic you insensitive pricks. 3) Would you rather have your circumcised dick measured in manly inches or centimeters? That's what I thought. 4) Would you rather say you drank a fucking GALLON of Red Bull or 3.78 liters of English tea? Pfff again Europeans... 5) One meter is equal to the distance that light travels in a vacuum in 1/299,792,458 of a second. WHAT IN THE ROYAL FUCK? An inch is about the length of your thumb, and a foot is about, you guessed it, your foot. You can put away your particle accelerator now. 6) One degree Celsius is equal to the fraction of 1/273.16 â&#x20AC;&#x153;of the thermodynamic temperature of the triple point of water.â&#x20AC;? .... I... just... No. Fuck you celsius. Fuck you. 7) "Cause I would walk 500 kilometers and I would walk 500 more, just to be the man who walked 1000 kilometers to end up at your door." Hey, that's catchy! 8) I know what pounds per inch means. It makes sense. Who knows what the fuck a "Pascal" or a "Newton per meter" is? Enjoy having your tires blow out while you try to figure it out. That's tyres for people with small dicks. 9) Hey, Metric lovers. When are you gonna switch to a base-10 clock to measure time? Hypocrits. 10) Edit: Actually, no. Fuck number ten. 11) How many apostles did Jesus have again? 10? Even God uses Imperial. 12) "OMG it's SO hot, it's 38.4 degrees outside!" Again, fuck you celsius. USA, Liberia, Myanmar 1-0 Rest of the world.

teamliquid.net

20Nation wrote: I have been struggling with this a lot. Thanks starcraft addiction. But I read a book that I felt inclined to share. 120 body language signals that she likes you by nicholas jack Now if a girl ever likes me... i know

<flamewheel> when we were at passport control in london <flamewheel> they asked me if i had anything to declare <flamewheel> and i just said independence

Click for wallpaper!

january

2013

Missed the last 3 months, is it worth catching up? Klipsys wrote: This semester kicked my ass, so I quit gaming and general entertainment really for the last 3 months or so to focus on school. I’ve read headlines but haven’t watched any games or tournaments. This is the longest I’ve been out of the scene since launch, and with HOTS coming soon I’m wondering if it’s even worth going back and watching all of the old games? Fionn wrote: Zerg. Jaedong to EG. ZvZ. Hero likes December. Now you’re caught up. phodacbiet wrote: Hm... ZvZ finals “Zerg broken” - Terran “Zerg fine” - Zerg “forcefield!” - Protoss More ZvZ finals There, caught you up. Youre welcome.

mizU wrote: When you’re playing Dota2 and you’re feeling down... Just remember: at least you’re better than mizu.

teamliquid.net

On December 15 2012 11:32 GrandMaster_07 wrote: Hey mods, what is your sex rate per month? On December 15 2012 13:29 ToKoreaWithLove wrote: My formula is based on the accepted hotness scale of 1-10. $=(Tx100)/H [H>=5] $=(Tx200)/H [H>=3,<5] where T=time, H=hotness. So for example, if someone wanted me for 1 hours 30 days and were a 10, the rate would be $300. I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t accept <3, and massage is not included-

january

2013

Another day on TeamLiquid...

Bunkie wakes people up Click image to watch gif!

teamliquid.net

On December 19 2012 11:35 avilo wrote: Beta is back up, just tested the new fungal...lol. A lot of people are not going to be happy. On December 19 2012 20:10 urashimakt wrote: That was quick. Blizzard should just have you do whatever you did instead of doing these 2 week long testing periods. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d love to play AviloCraft 2: Heart of the Forum. Also, happy birthday. january

2013

GTR’s creeper/reverse-creeper experience GTR wrote: May be one of those creeper girl blogs, but I’m a bit drunk so who gives a fuck. I saw an Asian girl sporting one of the Team Liquid team shirts at the City Hunter on George St. last night. I wasn’t able to say hi because I was busy playing League of Legends with my brother -_If you are that person, come out and say hello in here... /end creep TheAmazombie wrote: LoL keeps another person from making friends and getting laid. EtherealDeath wrote: Quickly, we need a 1 post australian smurf so we can get nude pics of GTR to hold Teamliquid hostage with! Jibba wrote: [03:34.01] <Jibba> srsly just go up and ask if she reads tl or watches sc, and say you love tl [03:34.23] <Jibba> talking to girls doesnt make you a creeper [03:36.07] <Jibba> you can literally just say “i noticed you have a teamliquid shirt on, do you watch starcraft?” [03:36.12] <Jibba> it’s that simple >.> Kittan wrote: 5/5 Drunk girl blogs best girl blogs. +Nested Quote+ Jaaaaasper wrote: Awwww, so kawaii. Next time just talk to her, as tl staff, if she is a tl member, your almost a celebrity. And you guys would have had something in common. Silly gtr.

“Hey there, baby, I noticed you sport a TL swag shirt. I just happen to be a staff member, want me to noife any annoying asshats for you?” “Oh, mr GTR, you’re so big! I would love to see you in action” 58

teamliquid.net

And then....

On December 14 2012 07:55 khaydarin9 wrote: LOLOL HOLY SHIT GTR, that was me. I have no working laptop at the moment, so I’ve been getting my SC2 fix from City Hunter - they have that thing where girls get free membership until July. Though, last night, I was having trouble logging onto BNet, so I left at about 8pm. I don’t know what else to say. ETA: Every time I see you at BarCraft at the Paragon in your CJ shirt, I get so jelly /reverse creeper. On December 14 2012 09:41 khaydarin9 wrote: You know what the shit-creepy thing really is? We have the same birthday >.> (Different years, though, I believe.)

Kiante wrote: now we get to find out if GTR has a followthrough on his drunk request for a hi GTR wrote: im leaving sydney on saturday but i shall return for future barcrafts and kpop concerts ^^ Kiante wrote: >court’s girl on internet >is successful >leaves city to avoid contact ?????

january

2013

A bit of Christmas f

Putting EG.Thorzainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Win into Perspective

by SpacemanG

EG.Thorzain was the first foreigner to win a game in the Starcraft Pro League in seve last time a foreigner won a match was in 2005. Seven years is a long time, and to a from seven years ago, the last time a foreigner brought home a W in Pro League.

1. SKMC was about to turn 14 years old. 2. Nada faced Yellow in the Blizzcon invitational. (Other invited

players included Mondragon, Legionnaire, Testie, Assem, Nal-Ra and Reach.)

3. The Xbox360 had just been officially announced on MTV,

hosted by Elijah Wood.

teamliquid.net

fun in the Ask TL Staff thread

en whole years - ClouD_vs_Legionnaire, the add some perspective, here’s seven things

4. We were only on Call of Duty 2. 5. Guitar Hero was released. 6. The Office was in its first season on NBC. 7. Team Liquid consisted only of Liquid’Nazgul, Meat, Spy,

Drone, Frost, Ninja, Oaral, Crystal, Daaman, Venice, Raszi, and Satanik.

january

2013

Jellybean

- Sirjolt

As a jellybean connoisseur, I find myself on a questv to find the tastiest of beans. As a stickler, I take it upon myself to investigate any shortcomings. As a man with access to pens and paper, I realised that it is within my reach to just send people scrawled letters complaining about just about anything. Last week, I found a jellybean that was a number of different colours/flavours fused together, with a sort of fizzed outer shell. Naturally, I sent a letter to The Jelly Bean Factory. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be honest, it was a spur of the moment thing. It was an oddity, so I threw it into an envelope along with a handwritten letter that said something to the effect of: To whom it concerns, I have enclosed one (mutant) jellybean, which I was saddened to find in a bag I was eating. I send you this not in the hope that you will motivated to send me some conciliatory jellybeans, but in the hopes that you will know best how to destroy this mistake of creation. With luck, I hope that it will be possible for you to find the source of the aberration and rectify it, if not for me then just so that no one else need face the horrors I have. Love,

TheBest of Blogs Here at PonyTales we have been inundated with quality blogs from the last three months. We couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t just let these masterpieces sit in this issue as a single link to the post. So weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve decided to reproduce these blogs in full for this issue. If you enjoy reading the blog, follow the link to the blog post on the forums and leave a comment!

At this point, I was aware that I had worded things in such a way that a reply was unlikely, but I figured that it might at least provide enough entertainment for someone to feel as though they should reply. Today, I received an envelope from them, containing a letter. The letter read:

Greetings from the Jellybean Factory and thank you for your letter in regards to your damaged jellybean, and apologies for the delay in responding. Our quality team have inspected the bean and assured me that the bean was perfectly safe, just a little squashed. I am enclosing some beans for your enjoyment. Apologies if I got your name incorrect, as it was difficult to make out. Kind Regards The Jellybean Team

I can only be thankful that An Post (the Irish postal service) has done such a fine job that it managed to destroy the offending bean. Their skill in that area is unparalleled. Is this the proudest I have ever been? Perhaps. Gaze upon my bounty in wonder. january

2013

happy? (girl issues)

- iPAndi (Written on January 12, 2009)

Warning: this is probably a very badly written post with no cohesion between paragraphs... I am writing things as they come to mind. Well... yesterday i asked a girl out. It was fucking awesome. I have been to 2 dates with her.. and i am already kinda loosing it for her... kinda feel like its love at first sight. I tend to have like two sides: the good old never_toss, which is basically all girlfriend material and a good person; and then there’s the bad never_toss.. i am with a girl and I dont necessarilly respect her (just for the sex, etc). The past like 3 months, I have been in bad mode. Now, I kinda liked a girl some time ago (like about 2 years) but nothing ever happened. Then, 3 weeks ago I bumped into her on a mall and we talked a lot. When she was leaving, I forgot her name so, lol, i couldnt like ask for her phone cuz i wouldnt know how to save the entry on my phone (ive done the old “Miss X” entry trick but that doesnt work that well). Anyways, I kinda asked around till like a week ago i got her name, then facebooked, then msn’ed, then phone. Success. I went out with her like on thursday last week, and we just had a beer and talked for like 4 hours. It was great... she’s a great person.. she’s cute, and incredibly sweet. I was feeling good. Said goodbye and programmed a date for yesterday (one of my friend’s birthday). Yesterday was so good. I mean, i picked her up on her house, she was cute as ever. She met all my friends, my all friends approved (haha) and we talked for like 6 hours.. so much... I felt like this was THE girl... THE one i have been waiting for for a long time. She’s well mannered, so sweet and i kinda feel nervous when im with her. Then I made the move. She backed off. She says she doesn’t want to kiss me because she wants to just like hang out... but she also said that we could still keep going out and maybe we could be somethign else in the future.. but the message was not clear. I felt... kinda sad... but mostly... INMENSELY attracted to her. I respect her so much since i met her, and now this respect has also grown. We get along very very good and there is chemistry I feel.. but then again... this might be obsession.. obsession...

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New word for me... I have never been obsessed... I have never written a blog post talking about girl issues or girls in particular... I have never had any issues with starting to date girls at all. But is it really obsession? Can it be love? Can it be pure love at first sight? More importantly, what do you guys feel i should do? I’m 25 just for the record.

Getting Married

- iPAndi (Written on October 21, 2012)

This is it. Almost there. Walk the talk. It’s finally here. Today will be THE most important day of my life. In 6 hours I’m getting married to the most special woman I’ve met in my life. She’s so unique in so many ways and I have both great admiration as love for her. She’s a living example of what I want to do with my life, and I’m thrilled to have the honor to become her husband. I’m writing this blog as a followup on an older blog. This other older blog was when I met her, and how I was crazy about her from the moment I laid eyes on her. I, obviously, got hell for sounding like a 15 year old on a blog, but I feel today marks a moment where that post just preceeds something wonderful that finally developed into something real. 3 year older blog http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/viewblog.php?id=85883 Thanks for reading, Andi, a lucky Costa Rican

january

2013

A doctor with a broken voice, and dying well - UmbraaeternuS Hi TL. It’s been one hell of a long time. First of all, apologies for the long absence. I’ve had a massive workload lately and I haven’t been able to write in my blog or play as much SC2/cast games as much as I wanted. Now that my voice is all screwed up, I can’t cast either :C... Buuut... Since I’m sick with laryngitis and my doctor put me on sick leave for 10 days, since, as he said “you’re a doctor and your main tool is not your brain, it’s your voice, and if your voice isn’t good, you’re worthless, so you’re hereby forbidden to talk until further notice, and thus, TAKE A FUCKING SICK LEAVE, FFS!”... So I’m now home with a speech ban upon me, hence I’m boring sick, so I’ve been playing a lot of ladder games, checked the HoTS beta, and thought to write about my last ER case, as I usually do. This was yesterday, on my last shift. I had been sick for over 10 days, and I was refusing to give up my ER shift, so I went to work with the shitty little voice I had left. An uneventful morning was going on. I had seen about 40 patients when we had a phone call from the EMT dispatch centre.

“

We’ve got a call for an elderly woman who’s unresponsive at her home; next of kin is providing CPR. EMTs arriving to scene.

”

I then preppared everything at the reanimation box in the ER for what seemed to be a cardiac arrest. My gut call was confirmed a couple minutes later by the EMTs calling on the radio.

“

Doctor, be advised: Were inbound with a 92 years old female, hypertensive, BP 180/110, pulse slow but steady at 40 bpm’s, saturating at 95% with 2 litres per minute of oxygen, who collapsed at her home; recieved CPR from relatives for reported missing pulse upon first attention: patient currently with good vitals.

So, patient was sort of stable...

”

She enters the ER 2 minutes later. When I saw her, my heart sort of shrunk. She was a little old lady, looking very, very frail... A little pale, with white hair; very thin, in an odd sort of lateralized possition... Seconds later, her family arrives. I send a nurse to gather some data. As soon as she leaves the room, we connect the patient to the vital signs monitor. Nothing weird so far... Her physical examination had a few things to note. Upon examining her chest, she had noises in her lungs that suggested fluid was being gathered in them. I ordered to push an amp of Furosemide, a medication which helps the kidneys get rid of excess fluid in the body. Her extremities had oedema, which is basically swelling due to retained excess fluid. And last but not least, when I examined her heart, I heard a murmur at the mitral valve. You see, the heart has 4 cavities: Left atrium, right atrium, left ventricle and right ventricle; there are 4 valves, acting as gateways between atriums and 66

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ventricles, and ventricles and major blood vessels: The tricuspid valve, the gateway from the right atrium to the right ventricle; the pulmonary valve, from the right ventricle to the pulmonary artery; the mitral valve, from the left atrium to the left ventricle, and the aortic valve, from the left ventricle to the aorta. The mitral valve recieves that name because it resembles a bishop’s mitre... This particular murmur is called the “mitral regurgitation” murmur, since it sounds like blood is being pushed back to the ventricle. It usually means one of the valve’s leaflets has dropped, being leaky. In a patient like this, I had to think of a very particular reason: One of the muscles which control the leaf had been damaged, most likely from a myocardial infarction.

A bishop’s mitre.

TL; DR the last paragraph: The old lady had THIS in her heart.

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2013

I then ordered an EKG and some blood tests. Her EKG was taken in a minute. I inmediately took the paper strip from the machine. It looked like this:

Oh, fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck... Upon seeing the EKG strip, I looked like this:

Yeah, I was not amused. Note: Any likelihood between Dr. Carter and myself is a coincidence. Grim. She had a MASSIVE heart infarction. I went outside to speak to her family to break out the bad news... Both her daughters were there. I knew one of them, which happened to be an EMT at my hospital: she retired 3 years ago. She was the one who gave her mother CPR. So I told them what her mom had. Then the former EMT asked for a while alone to discuss the subject with her sister. I went back inside the reanimation box to attend my patient and told them Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d be back in a couple minutes. I then ordered 3 miligrams of morphine to be pushed IV, a drip of labetalole to be installed 68

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and to up her oxygen a little while we waited for the blood tests, and asked for a bed to be prepared for admission. A few minutes later, the nurse comes back in... Tells me the old lady’s daughters wanted a word with me. They basically told me this:

“

Doctor, we’re very grateful for everything you’re doing for her... But she’s so old. Her heart is giving in, and we’d like to respectfully refuse any treatment you want to prescribe for her right now. She’s lived her life and we don’t want her to die in a hospital, visitors restricted, maybe alone and without her family and without her things... We’d like to take her home, and we understand what it means to refuse treatment, but we don’t want her to be admitted and to die here...

I was so moved I had a hard time handling my emotions. But I understood. I thought of my own mother, if she were that old... And I totally got in their shoes.

”

If you truly understand what taking her home means, I have no objections... You’ll have to sign a release authorization, a do not resucitate order and a do not treat order... I understand what you’re thinking and I fully support your call... Then, the former EMT said 9 words that have been ringing in my head ever since.

“

“Doctor, thank you for letting my mother die well.”

”

After signing a few forms, they took their mother home. I broke upon seeing them leave. A colleague of mine who was leaving the residency saw me on the hallway, hands on my face, crying...

“

“What happened, man?”

”

I told him this story. With my almost non-existing voice. He told me this: “Look man, I know letting go is very emotional, but they have been strong enough to face death with a grin... You should too... And get yourself home, damnit, you can’t even speak and you still want to work here... You must really love the ER, but you’ve got to look after yourself, too... Go home, get some rest, call an Otorhinolaryngologist and get your throat checked, man... I’ll handle your shift. I then went home... And have been thinking of those words. We truly don’t value the dignity of death. We sometimes don’t see how important it is for people to be surrounded by their family, to be within their home, in their bed, during their final moments. Hospitals should be a place for people to get better... Not for them to go dying. The bravery with which the family of this patient faced death was admirable. I wish to have that strength the day one of my folks goes away. I want my kids to have that strength when I go, too. Thank you for reading. january

2013

I am a father.

- pubbanana

Our family sofa, from what I remember, was a disgusting shade of blue. This particular shade of blue was on the offensive, ready to be interpreted by my body in ways other colors couldn’t. Tasting and swallowing a color isn’t possible, but I’m positive that couch gave me a punch to the tonsils more than once. And between the cushions, there was a thick layer of crumbs and food particles that solidified together and sat just beneath the surface. My feet would sometimes itch while lying there and to get it scratched, I would shove my foot between the back of the cushion and just scrape it against shards of Doritos, dried-out cookie crumbs, and other decayed carbohydrates. It felt so good. My father would sit beside me in his green arm chair with no arms on it and drink Old Milwaukee and watch TV. This was our nightly ritual. He would watch re-runs of MASH and Cheers and get drunk and I would doze off on the sofa, periodically scraping my foot against the crumb-laden scratching post until he decided it was time to eat. He would saunter over to our stove which had a permanent brown burn mark that stretched from one end of the panel all the way over to the other. It didn’t all happen at once, it accumulated after so many nights of my father’s midnight drunk cooking choreography. The food was always prepared perfectly and was always served in under one hour. He may have burned the shit out of the actual stove several times, but never the food. It’s beyond confusing as to how he managed that. It’s as if the universe was watching him and had every intention to make him ruin, burn, or drop something, but then just decided “Fuck it, let him succeed. What’s one more paradox?” After we ate, I would doze back off, periodically scraping my foot against the crumb confetti under the cushion until he would say “Alright, time for bed” and he would carry me back to my parent’s room where we would sleep until morning. I slept in my parent’s bed, with my actual parents in it, until I was about thirteen or fourteen. That may seem strange and that’s because it is. Years later, as a spritely young college student, I met a French exchange girl. She was ethnic Armenian and had every bit of that Levantine merchant (as Hitler called them) mystique about her. Her frame was small, her body was thin, and she dressed like a hipster. I’m not really sure what a hipster is, but I assume it’s someone who denies themselves the pleasure of food in order to wear clothes meant for 11 year old orphans in Kosovo. And that’s what she looked like. So tiny, so brown, such bizarre clothes, I imagined her sitting on a dirt road in an Indian market, sitting next to a giant pile of some kind of red spices. That’s how exotic she seemed to my extraordinarily white eyes. 70

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Because I’m the type of person who likes to get way too personal way too fast and also because I have a very poor concept of acceptable social behavior, I walked up to her after class one day and said “Hey! Where are you from?” as I extended my hand like a vacuum salesman. Her eyes widened and then she looked down at the floor and zipped her bag and muttered “France ...” and she said it with absolutely no confidence, as if she expected me to mock her for being French. I said “Oh, where exactly? Paris? Lyon?” and then scanned my memory banks for more French cities that I had skimmed on Wikipedia once. Nope. That’s all I had. I remembered Strasbourg, but it was too late as she had already began answering and said she was from Paris and then rattled off the Blah-de-blah-Blah town from where she specifically came. Then my eyes widened because I realized that now I am completely in love with her. By the time we walked out that door together, I already had our wedding location and our first adopted puppy’s name already picked out. That first day was a complete blur. She asked if I had to go to another class and I said no even though I had a lot of classes left for the day. I ended up not going to any of them and sitting with her outside the cafeteria and talking nervously while heart-attack sweat piled on under my armpits. I can’t remember anything I said except for one instance when I made her laugh. I seriously saw the roof of her mouth because her head slid back so far from giggling. At one point, I slipped and made a comment about how I was supposed to be sitting in Philosophy class and she said “I thought you said you didn’t have class?” My heart immediately took the wheel and sent a surge of “cute” to my brain and I used it to craft the most charming sentence ever said to any woman anywhere ever: “I lied because I wanted to spend time with you.” She stared at me for a second and I smiled and widened my eyes and she started laughing and said “You don’t have to do that! We can text!” and by the end of that first day, I had her number. Feeling high from the first step towards an exclusive, committed, monogamous relationship with her, I resigned myself from the table and said I was actually going to class. In reality, I was going home to take a shower. Humans are 95% water and at that moment, 94% of it was soaked into my shirt. Before I left, I held up my hand for a high-five, but for some reason, when she touched my hand, I clasped my fingers between her’s and just held it like that for a second. Then I said “Byeeeee” and she said “Byeeee” in an equally high-pitched tone and we parted ways. While I was at home that night, I had thoughts running back and forth about what I should do next. I have her number, so should I text her? Every ten minutes, I would pick up the phone, type a text, delete it, and then put the phone down. I did that all night until I finally decided that we would have no contact until we saw each other in class the next day. However, even that seemed like it wasn’t enough, so I used every ounce of my overly-observant, borderline-stalker instincts and thought about every possibility that I could use to be closer to her. Then the perfect plan emerged: I would intentionally show up late. Sounds strange, but the desks were split into two and she sat directly behind me and the girl who sits next to me has a BFF in the same class. If I show up late, her BFF will take my seat and I’ll be “forced” to take the one right behind it which just so HAPPENS to be next to her. With the confidence that my psychotic obsession with her had made a plan come together, I shut my eyes and went to sleep.

to continue reading...

january

2013

To the leggy brunette on the Thanksgiving redeye - Shady Sands Dear Lisa (I assume this is not your real name so I won’t bother changing it for you), We met on the Thanksgiving redeye heading back into Chicago. I sat in 24D, you sat in 24F. It was an Airbus 320, which means we were near the end of the plane, and I had the aisle seat-you, the window. The really buff dude in 24C broke off the overhead bin latch above me while putting in his luggage, and it fell directly on my head. You asked if I was alright, and that broke the ice. So while we were idling on the tarmac, waiting for some ground crew guy to come in and duct tape the overhead bin shut, I learned about you, and you learned about me. You said your name was Lisa. You were probably lying, unless you’re completely retarded and/ or don’t have a facebook account. I don’t remember very many other facts about you--just a typical Midwestern undergrad, well on her way to becoming one of those North Shore trixies that comprise Groupon’s core customer segment. You had a killer body, I’ll give you that much. Long, straight, bronzed hair; hazel eyes; a slight tan from hiking with your extended family over Thanksgiving. You were probably five eight and about 120 pounds, and you were wearing tights and a miniskirt that showed off the best legs I have ever had the pleasure of sitting two feet away from. Oh, and the seat in between us, 24E, was empty. I had work the next morning, so I went to sleep. Somewhere over Arizona you nudged me and asked if you could stretch out on 24E. I said sure. You lifted the armrests and laid down, then I went back to sleep. When I woke up somewhere over Nebraska, I felt a weight pressing into my lap, which I quickly realized was your head. You smelled like one of my exes; a mix of Chanel No. 5 and woman. 72

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Click for wallp

aper!

I had to get up to use the bathroom, so I ever so gently leaned down and whispered in your ear. You jerked your head into my face and gave me a nosebleed. Then you began stammering out an apology in that cute trixie voice of yours, while trying wipe my nose down with a Kleenex you magically found in your purse. When you were done, you moved to the middle seat, sat next to me, and we spent the rest of the flight watching Glee on your iPad. The guy in 24C was looking at us as we disembarked, probably wondering how a complete geek like me gets this to happen to him. To be honest, I didn’t know until this morning, when I got a call from the American Express fraud division, asking me to confirm a 1500$ perfume purchase from some Michigan Avenue boutique. You see, Lisa, when you went through my wallet somewhere over the snowy peaks of Colorado, you took the one credit card that I only got for the massive frequent flyer miles bonus. Being a cheap Asian, I never bought anything with that card, and was planning on cancelling it in another month to get the miles and pay as little membership fees as possible. I want to thank you since you got AMEX to give me the miles and waive the cancellation fee. And you’re still a leggy brunette. So how’s this for a deal--you meet me again sometime, say at the hair salon that you bought a perm from using my card, I’ll pay for dinner with the money I saved from AMEX, and then we head back to your place--not mine, since I have minor trust issues with you and my stuff--and we finish watching the third season of Glee?

january

2013

Ghetto cook Ghetto Post-Xmas

by Newbistic

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What types of food come to mind when you think about Christmas? A holiday roast? Ham? Turkey? A Yule log? Nope. You’re not getting any of that here today. You’re getting the meal you should have had for Christmas - shepherd’s pie. Not happy? Well... too bad! You’re learning how to make shepherd’s pie, dammit. While all the big TV channels are telling you how easy it is to fork over cash hand over fist for the “perfect holiday meal”, we at Team Liquid are concerned about the little folk, the poor college students, and those in general whose pockets contain more lint than money even after the seasonal cash injection from estranged family. Are you looking for a cheap, hearty holiday meal? Look no further, because a shepherd’s pie has everything you are looking for.

Ingredients

Serves: 3-6 Prep time: 90 min.

Filling: 1.25-1.5 lb ground beef* (675g) 1 large or 2 small carrots 1 medium onion 3 cloves garlic 2 tbsp Worcestershire sauce**(30 ml) 1/3 cup tomato paste (80 ml) 3/4 cup chicken stock*** (180 ml) 1 cup red wine**** (240 ml) 2 tbsp olive oil (30 ml) 1 tsp thyme**** (5 ml) 1 tsp rosemary (5 ml) salt pepper

* Classic shepherd’s pie is made with lamb. Beef is a common substitute, but feel free to use whatever is cheapest wherever you live. You can use beef, lamb, or even pork for this recipe. If you wish to use ground turkey or chicken, brown the meat in the pan first, remove the meat, and cook everything else as directed, substituting white wine for red. Add the chicken back after the wine has been reduced by half. ** If Worcestershire sauce is not available, substitute 1 tbsp (15 ml) of the best vinegar you have, 1 tsp of some type of spicy sauce, and 1/2 tsp salt or 1 tsp soy sauce, and a pinch of bouillon (of available). *** Dilute half a packet of chicken flavoring from a bag of ramen in water for a cheap substitute. Potatoes: **** Okay, wine isn’t exactly ghetto, BUT you should be ~1.5 lb potatoes (675g) able to get a bottle for $6 or less. Who doesn’t have booze 2 tbsp butter (28 g) on hand during the holidays? Experiment with what you have on hand, but don’t use Jagermeister or anything like that. 4 tbsp Parmesan cheese (32 g) ***** Milliliters are not exactly a good measurement choice milk as needed for herbs. 1 tsp is approximately a very small spoonful, or salt about 1/3 of an average soup spoon. You may also wish to consider adding a bay leaf if available or sage for a pepper chicken/turkey pie. free to substitute or omit any spice Note: This is the comprehensive list of ingredients. Feel 1 tsp garlic powder ****** Regular cheap potato chips work better than kettleor vegetable youchips****** need to, or(15g) PM me @ Newbistic if you have any questions regarding ~0.5 oz potato fried chips.

substitutions and omissions.

The Brits call it cottage pie if it’s not made with lamb, but what do they know, they only invented the stuff.

january

2013

Cooking

Food can be fast, easy, cheap, or good, but only three of these apply at any given time. This falls under the “easy, cheap, and good” categories. 1. Start by peeling your carrots, potatoes, and garlic. Finely chop your onion, garlic, and carrots into very small pieces. You want to get them to be a fine mince if possible, about 1/8 inch (1/3 cm) pieces. A blender can make the process faster, but a knife works just as well. Meanwhile, peel and cut your potatoes into 1 inch (2.5 cm) pieces. Bring a pot of salted water to boil on your stove.

2. Crank the heat on your stove up to the highest setting (or medium high for gas burners). Add your olive oil. When the oil is hot and very viscous, add your ground meat. It should sizzle the moment it hits the pan. Cook the meat by itself, letting it brown on all sides, for about 3-4 minutes. If you are using ground beef with a high fat content, drain off any excess fat. If you are using chicken or turkey, you should remove the meat at this point. If not, add the onion and cook for 3-4 additional minutes, until the onion is transparent. There should be little to no moisture in the pan. If liquid is accumulating, turn the heat up, or if the heat is already on highest, cook until all the liquid evaporates. Add carrots and garlic, and cook for another 3-4 minutes. Everything in the pan should be browning at this point. Sometime during all of this, your pot of water should have come to a rolling boil. Drop your potatoes into the pot and simmer for about 15 minutes.

You may be wondering, “Newb! Why is the stove so dirty?” Well, this is Ghetto Xmas, so the gunk is a metaphor for poverty. I’m doing it out of love, for you guys. 76

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3. Time to add the moisture. First, add tomato paste, thyme, and rosemary, and cook for 2-3 minutes. Then, add the chicken stock, and cook until almost dry again. Scrape any accumulated gunk from the bottom of the pan off; this will add a lot of flavor to the sauce (a stainless steel pan is better than non-stick for this dish). Finally, add the wine and reduce until there is only a small amount of a thick sauce. If you are using chicken or turkey, now is the time to add the meat back into the pan. Salt and pepper to taste, if needed.

British cuisine (or “cuisine”) is slightly obsessed with browning things. Hence, all this brown-ness. 4. Now it is time to work on the mashed potatoes. Keep your meat filling simmering hot on the stove. Drain the water from your potatoes and add the dairy. Mash together and season to taste. You will want the mash to be slightly drier than your usual mashed potatoes, as it should sit firmly on top of the minced meat rather than slop over it.

Yellow potatoes. But they’re yellow for a different reason than why snow is sometimes yellow.

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2013

5. Crush your potato chips with either a spoon or your bare hands. If you know anyone with anger issues, they can help you with this. Use this as an opportunity to bond with someone who is potentially often angry. 6. Assemble your pie! In a roughly 7 cup/1.75 liter container, dump all of your ground beef onto the bottom and even out the top. Deposit all of your mashed potatoes on top of that. Then, just before you serve, sprinkle the top with crushed potato chips. Serve immediately and serve hot.

Doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t this just look homely? (The question sounds better if you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know what homely means)

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The result

Nutrition Facts Carbohydrates - A lot Protein - A lot Sodium - Probably more than you need Fat - Definitely more than you need Dietary Fiber- Not enough to help your constipation Iron - Decent (probably)

If you make a light vegetable tart for a first course, this for the main course, and a fruit pie for dessert, you can have an all-pie meal. How cool is that?

january

2013

Ghetto Post-Xmas Dessert

Spiced Apple Cake in aMug That’s right, it’s not only a spiced apple cake cooked in a mug, but also in a microwave. The miracles of modern technology and bohemian desperation are combined with a dash of post-Christmas magic here to create your perfect lazy dessert. It’s fast, easy, and and virtually foolproof.

Ingredients Serves 2 Prep Time: 15 min 6 tbsp flour (23 g) 4 tbsp sugar (56 g) 1 egg 2 tbsp milk (30 ml) 3 tbsp oil (45 ml) 1/8 tsp baking powder* 1/8 tsp baking soda* 1/4 tsp salt (1.5 g) 1 tsp vanilla extract** (10 ml) 1/4 tsp cinnamon** (1 g) 1/4 tsp allspice** (1 g) 1/2 medium apple*** 1 tbsp chopped nuts (10 g), optional * 1/8 tsp is a very miniscule amount, almost impossible to measure accurately. Simply add a tiny pinch of each. ** Spices are optional but recommended *** Peeled, cored, and medium diced (1/3 inch or 1 cm cubes). Recommended apples varieties: golden delicious, McIntosh, Braeburn, Granny Smith. Not recommended: Fuji. You may also substitute pear, Bosc being a good cooking variety.

What can possibly embody the Christmas spirit more than huddling around a microwave throwing miniscule portions of ingredients together like it’s a drug lab, and cooking food that most normal people would rather cook in ovens? 80

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Cooking

You are the MacGuyver of food now. Next Christmas challenge: 5 course meal using 1 bag of ramen, two ketchup packets from McDonaldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s, and half a jar of leftover pickle juice. Mix together all the ingredients except for apple cubes and flour in a container. Sprinkle on flour, and mix until just combined. Do NOT over-mix unless you prefer your cakeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s texture to be similar to cardboard. Add in the apples and stir a few times to combine. Spread butter, oil, or a non-stick spray over the inside of your mug of choice (preferably a large mug such as a beer mug). Deposit your batter into said mug and microwave on high for 3 minutes (900-1000 watt microwave, lower wattages may require more time). Remove from microwave after cooking, and wait at least 3 minutes before attempting to remove. Slice into rounds and serve with your favorite sauce or ice cream. january

2013

LW. was just banned by EvilTeletubby. That account was created on 2012-11-04 13:33:11 and had 6 posts. Reason: You're far too LW for us.

Fenrax was just temp banned for 30 days by Nyovne. That account was created on 2010-01-04 09:57:33 and had 4315 posts. Reason: 25 previous moderations, comes straight off a ban and this is the best you can come up with? On December 06 2012 22:09 Fenrax wrote:

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ProfessorPolitics was just banned by Nyovne. That account was created on 2012-12-01 05:17:37 and had 1 posts. Reason: Back under the bridge with you, here have a goat.

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2013

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emc was just temp banned for 1 week by Nyovne. That account was created on 2010-09-11 06:37:35 and had 2770 posts. Reason: “republicans are the silent i-will-rape-you-if-i-get-the-chance, but in public they will tell you that women shouldn’t dress this way and it’s degrading and makes them look like sluts. Now democrats, are a bunch of pussy white knights, so they believe women should have the right to play a sport half naked, they also want to see gays being married but also think obama is doing the right thing in giving the government more control over our health care. how funny is it to be ignorant?” How is this possibly an acceptable post in a BIKINI BASKETBALL topic?! Or anywhere else for that matter. The lack of social grace in expressing yourself here is disturbing.

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blinken was just temp banned for 2 weeks by p4NDemik. That account was created on 2010-10-10 03:13:36 and had 199 posts. Reason: On November 11 2012 03:37 blinken wrote: Haha I love it. No wonder SC2 is going down in viewership. I want good games, not whatever garbage is put in front of me like you rabid morons. Even for TL, the home of elitist douchebags since 2002, you’re taking it over the top. Do you want a monocle, top-hat, and a cigar to complete the persona? Because we can make that happen.

MugenXBanksy was just temp banned for 1 week by EvilTeletubby. That account was created on 2011-04-24 02:17:42 and had 291 posts. Reason: On November 05 2012 02:05 MugenXBanksy wrote: Oh you heard of Polt? STFU son “STFU son”? What are you, 12?

january

2013

CaptainCrush was just banned by KwarK. That account was created on 2010-11-12 07:24:17 and had 784 posts. Reason: Cool it, Kermit

Scootaloo was just temp banned for 1 week by monk.. That account was created on 2012-01-11 03:48:32 and had 394 posts. Reason: Are you able to post in a thread without pissing everyone off everyone in it? On a completely unrelated note, I hear youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re a cute little chicken. 86

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pooMonger was just temp banned for 2 days by Waxangel. That account was created on 2011-01-02 20:55:58 and had 20 posts. Reason: On October 23 2012 14:20 pooMonger wrote: ^^ Hear hear, Doodsmack. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m only here to troll the ones who are taking it upon themselves to try and turn this into something bigger than it actually is. Well thanks for making it easy?

asdffasdfdad was just banned by p4NDemik. That account was created on 2012-11-16 12:02:24 and had 1 posts. Reason: algka;slgkha;oighej;

Click for wallp

aper!

january

2013

Beyond the Liquid Glass - Torte de lini

Team Liquid has been around for more than 10 years. Since then, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s grown and surpassed what any other community website could do to serve the netizens of their forums and website. It has a calendar for events, a featured list of entertaining livestreams, Community and Team news, a database of events, players, controversy, results, and a long list of contributors and volunteers all working to make this site a better place. However, hidden within this websites are little secrets that didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t quite meet a proper announcement or release. They sit idly by, waiting to be discovered, used by the average follower of Team Liquid. I will present you six of the best kept secrets Team Liquid has to offer, some may be more obvious than others, but they are all infinitely useful to make your stay here the best it can be. 1. Newly Created Threads - Want to be on the forefront of all small inquiries, blog posts, announcements, major discussion topics? Enjoy being the first person to respond to a topic to substitute some long-lost childhood issue of losing in a third-grade relay race? This little secret is what all the major forum users use to feed their Team Liquid addiction. This will display all newly created topics on any of the public forums or special forums you have access to.

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2. Refresh Stream List/Calendar - Always wanted to see who else was streaming while watching someone? Just hover your mouse over the corner of the livestreams section and you’ll see a refresh icon! Click on it and a whole new list will appear, saving you the trouble of having to reload the page just to see what else is on. This also works with calendar events and time left until the next event. Don’t forget that you can manage your stream preferences using the sidebar settings page. 3.Hot Threads - Similar to the front page of Reddit, the Hot Threads list shows the most popular and most talked/viewed topics on Team Liquid. If you are only interested in the big news and hot-button issues, this is the page to bookmark. Ranging from live report threads for tournaments to General Forum controversial issues, you have it all on this list and ready to jump you straight to what it is being talked about now! 4. The Nydus Network - Although still in development, R1CH’s Nydus Network is a channel-switching hub of all current live streams going on ranging from pro StarCraft II players to even some miscellaneous games such as League of Legends, Counter-Strike or even World of WarCraft. Within it, you get the main image of the channel your watching as well as a scrollable snapshot of what the other channels are featuring. This easy-to-use tool uses only the essential of functionality to ensure you get the most basic, but representative view of what’s being played, without it taxing your internet connection or computer’s power. 5. Player’s Comments on TeamLiquid.net - Although maybe obvious for most, this key tracker on the TeamLiquid Pro site displays and shows all the comments and posts made the Team Liquid team on the forums. You can follow, track and respond to any of the professional players on both the SC2 and DotA2 teams (and owner, Nazgul) with one click! Very convenient and easy to use! 6. Subscribed Threads - Single-handedly the best way to keep up with your favourite TeamLiquid sub-communities and threads. Subscribing to a thread by clicking on ‘Subscribe’ at the bottom of any thread will add the thread to the ‘Subscribe Threads’ link under profile and PM at the top of the page. Here it will display all your subscribed threads and how many new posts there are in the thread - clicking on the thread will even take you to first message in the thread that you haven’t read! Whether its the SFW picture thread, the KMD thread or simply the latest drama thread, subscribing to a thread will take your TeamLiquid addiction to the next level and you’ll never miss a post again. These are amongst the top six best hidden features of Team Liquid. While there are many other kept secrets, including secret forums and hidden applications, many more will come and be revealed as the year 2013 rolls forward.

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2013

Christmas is here at last (or Xmas for those that are going to hell)! As we all learned under the tender ministrations of television, the holidays bring with them the warm feeling associated not only with receiving, but with giving. To give a good gift though, we must first learn about those to whom weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re giving. Sure, as a community we have been known to rally around, and contribute to world-changing causes, like sending progamers to MLGs and contacting companies to let them know how we feel aboutâ&#x20AC;Ś well, everything. We do these things because as conscious gamers, we want to help spread esports, and videogames as a whole. It comes as a given then for a community like ours to not only collaborate with charities associated with our hobbies, but to take some time to learn about them. We at PonyTales have decided to take a closer look at two well-known gaming charities, to learn, to support, and to help them spread the word. 90

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Child’s Play Ablegamers Interviews - skindzer

Now one of the gaming world’s most widely recognised charity organizations, Child’s Play has been around since 2003, improving the lives of children in over 70 hospitals all around the world. Child’s Play has helped to change the old stereotype of gamers, while putting a smile on the faces of those most in need. Whether you’ve suffered an accident or are in long-term care, as long as you can press start, there’s always some fun to be had. We had a chance to speak with Jamie Dillion, Project Manager of Child’s Play in Seattle, to help them spread the word, and learn more about what it is that the organization does. Let’s start with the usual ASL; who are you, where do you live, and what do you do? I’m Jamie Dillion, Project Manager at Child’s Play Charity, which is based out of sunny (ha!) Seattle, Washington. How did you end up working at Child´s Play? It was quite a trial! You can actually see the process on PA:TS here: http://penny-arcade.com/patv/episode/childs-play-hire-part-1 http://penny-arcade.com/patv/episode/childs-play-hire-part-2 Essentially, I went through an intensive interview process, and came from a background of public relations, project management, and event planning.

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Most people know Child´s Play through specifics events like popular gaming auctions, projects like the Humble Indie Bundle, and the yearly toy drive. How’s work throughout the year, behind the scenes? Busy, crazy, and fun. Sure, there are tedious tasks (like data entry), but for every tedious task there is a fun one (picking items to go on some hospital wishlists). I also get to work with a lot of the marathons and projects, and the community is always bringing something unique to the table, which is really fantastic to see. There is never a dull day.

These are patients at the Children’s Cancer Hospital 57357 in Cairo.

Child´s Play has expanded through a lot of places, both in the states and worldwide, how do you guys keep control of that expansion? How do you keep “bad apples” from trying to abuse the foundation or misuse the name? In terms of expansion in our hospital network, we review each hospital and consider their geographic proximity to other network hospitals. In terms of fundraisers, we actually just updated our website to include a calendar – we review each calendar submission and approve it manually, to ensure that everything is as it should be. A lot of times the community regulates itself. We hear from a lot of people who just want to check in on a fundraiser to make sure we know of it or to see if we are, in fact, receiving the donations. For the most part, we’ve had great experiences. Getting more resources usually means the job gets easier, but on non profit NGOs the opposite tends to happen; more resources means trying to reach to more people in more ways than before. With all the growth you guys have experienced through the years, are there any plans to start branching out? Doing coaching or lectures maybe? We’re still pretty darn small, resources wise; there are two of us that run the organization dayto-day and, with the expansion of the hospital and community, we’re just keeping pace. We did ‘branch out’ with a new fundraiser this year – our summer Golf Tournament. 92

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Gaming is pretty ubiquitous now, be it on Facebook, handhelds, or smartphones. It seems like in today’s world you can pretty much play a game in anything with a battery; has this change become noticeable to Childs Play? Do hospital require fewer games because of it? I wouldn’t say so. Not all families can afford smartphones, especially with hospital bills to deal with, and we want to make sure they don’t have to suffer any more than anyone else. If anything, gaming is becoming more and more and acceptable hobby and both hospitals and families are realizing just how effective it can be at helping distract kids from their unpleasant experiences. Are there any plans to use games as the healing device, Instead of just a game to make the stay at the hospital more pleasant? Have you had any experiences with that? Definitely! The Wii Balance board and Kinect have made huge strides in physical therapy for a kid, which is really fantastic, and will only continue to improve. We’ve also heard from developers interested in making games specifically tailored to hospital patients to help them understand their ailment or recover more quickly. Teamliquid.net is a huge worldwide community, what’s your suggestion for people who’d like to help your cause? What should they look for if they’d like to start a Child’s Play program in a local hospital? Visit our website! It’s the hub of all things Child’s Play and can get you all of that information and more. In terms of getting a local facility involved, you’ll want to contact them and find out the contact for charitable toy donations (usually the Child Life or Play Therapy department). See if they are a non-profit facility and tell them a bit about Child’s Play (use our website for reference!) and see if they’d be interested. If so, get them in touch with me! jdillion@ childsplaycharity.org Any final words you wish to say? I never feel like I can recognize the community enough. The gaming community has done incredible things through Child’s Play, and continues to do so every day- we appreciate it more than words can tell! Our deepest thanks to everyone out there who makes a donation (large or small), runs a fundraiser, or spreads the word to friends and family. Gamers make a difference! Remember, if you’d like any more information, visit the website www.childsplaycharity.org and feel free to get in touch for any question or you might have.

A patient enjoying a Nintendo DS donated by Child’s Play.

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2013

On the vastness of the web we can encounter everything and everyone. Be it through text, video, or voice chat, we connect with people from all walks of life, from all around the world. As gamers though, we tend to disregard much of this because our means of interaction so often comes through videogames, and in that medium so much of a person’s background can seem extraneous. As long as you have a PC or a console, you are good to go… or at least, that’s what we like to think. In 2004, Mark Bartlett realised this was not the case. It was Friday night, Everquest night, and his best friend Stephanie wasn’t there to play. Concerned, he called to ask what was up and found, through cries, the sad truth, Stephanie couldn’t play because she couldn’t move her hand; her multiple sclerosis had flared up and she could not even feel the mouse. Among all of the obvious concerns for her health, there was the slow-dawning thought that this was the last Everquest Friday. When they realised that the Internet could offer no help for those in their situation, Ablegamers was born. We talked to Steve Spohn, who acts as community outreach for the Ablegamers foundation and who is himself a sufferer of muscular dystrophy. He knows Ablegamer’s work not only as an editor, but as a client. How did you get to work with Ablegamers? About four years ago, gaming started to become more difficult due to my disability. I decided to look online to see what kinds of information were available for helping people with disabilities play games easier. In my search, I found Ablegamers and a post about World of Warcraft, some of the information listed in the post was incorrect and I posted some correct information that I knew firsthand. Mark Barlet, the president and founder of Ablegamers, contacted me afterwards and asked if I wanted to write about the subject. After a few e-mail exchanges, I decided to help out as a writer, and four years later I’m now the EIC. How’s your gaming setup? Do you use a different kind of mouse or joystick? Not much of a gaming rig by Ablegamers standards. I use a high DPI mouse and sometimes I’ll use a head tracking assistive technology called TrackIR if it’s a game that needs more than a mouse. What’s your work on a day-to-day basis? What about live events? My personal day-to-day job duties include keeping the content flowing on the site, helping writers with their assignments, reaching out to developers and publishers, and various activities to further game accessibility and Ablegamers. 94

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I saw you guys have a forum. Do you get in touch with the community mainly through it? We do have a forum; with over 3.5 million hits per month and tens of thousands of registered members, it’s the largest community for disabled gamers online. We believe in crowd sourcing our disability problems, so if someone has a problem we encourage them to post about it on the forums so that not only our staff members, but also our community members can suggest solutions. What about live events? As far as live events, it depends on how regular you’re talking. We visit anywhere from 5-20 cities every year bringing the accessibility arcade, which is a set up of multiple gaming stations that use assistive technology to let people play. We have fundraisers year-round to help the cause. Ablegamers has a gaming night every Thursday night on the Xbox. And we have streams of games featuring their accessibility as often as possible.

How’s your relationship with controller modding companies? We have friendly relationships with several companies, but our primary partner in the modding universe is Evil Controllers. We partnered together to make the Adroit line. The Adroit Switchblade was unveiled about 18 months ago to help people with disabilities such as muscular dystrophy to be able to play an Xbox controller with any kind of switches available today. The next version should be available before Christmas, and we hope to create other controllers in the line soon. I should also add, since we are a nonprofit organization made up entirely by volunteers, we don’t earn any money from these sales, the controller is sold at cost plus an extra $10 which goes directly to EC for research and development of the next controller. january

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The adroit in action So that’s on the hardware side, regarding software I saw that you do reviews of games based on their accessibility options; has any gaming company reached out for help when designing a game? We have a steady ongoing relationship with many of today’s largest publishers. Ablegamers has helped numerous titles from companies like EA, BioWare, PopCap, Harmonix, Rockstar, etc. and even more indie developers just starting out. We really don’t care what size your game is, we just want to provide the roadmap for developers to make it as accessible as possible our latest publication, Includification,(www.includification.com) is a 48-page, fully illustrated roadmap for developers to plan the most accessible game possible. There’ll never be a time when every game is accessible to every single disability. The difference between the same disabilities with a different subtype can be phenomenal. For example, someone who has muscular dystrophy with a subtype of spinal muscular atrophy, such as myself, could have completely different abilities or face completely different challenges than I do, simply due to the evolution of the disease in the particular person. Therefore, we do not want video games to have a rating system determined by law. It’s not as simple as a checklist concerning whether there is nudity or violence, in accessibility, you need to be worried about the overall feel of the game and if everything is accessible. We want developers to read the roadmap and include as many of the accessible options as possible. The keyword around Ablegamers is ‘options.’ Options allow developers to include features that can be turned on or off depending on the needs of the individual gamer, this causes absolutely no effect to the core gameplay. We are gamers first, who happen to be disabled. Disabled gamers want the opportunity to play a game, but they don’t want it destroyed in the process. 96

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Have you ever thought of giving some kind of certification to companies that follow the Includification roadmap? Yes and no. We already have the most extensive review database of games focusing on the accessibility of the title. We break down what they did right and what they did wrong based on a number score. The problem with the certification would be that only games that receive a “10” could be given the seal of approval. Having said that, we do give out the Ablegamers accessible mainstream game of the year award to companies that include a large amount of requested features. Would you say, as a whole, the community is more close to the PC scene for their inherently mod-friendly architecture? The PC is definitely friendlier to the disabled community due to the inherent ability for peripherals to assess through assistive technology. However, programs like XIM (http://www. ablegamers.com/General-Game-News/have-we-found-the-holy-grail-of-accessibility.html) are providing great hope that, one day, consoles might be accessible in the same fashion as PCs, but even in that case you are still running the technology through the PC. What about using videogames as a means of rehabilitation? We named Includification that way because it’s a nod to gamification (the process of turning information or rehabilitation into a game to help someone). Video games help with rehabilitation just as much as recreation, to the point where the US federal government institutes gaming at most VA hospitals, and even for some soldiers overseas recovering from serious trauma. What would you say to others who would like to help your cause? What can the average gamer do to help create a more inclusive community? Excellent question. There are many things that gamers can do to support their fellow gamers who happen to have disabilities. We are constantly looking for people to help with fundraisers and awareness events, we take donations (https://www.ablegamers.org/donate-now.html) and are actively recruiting streamers to help build a community of gamers who play these games live so those with disabilities can see what they’re getting into and if it would fit with their disability. And in general, consider the possibilities of the person that you might be looking down upon for using an extra feature. The gamer who needs extra life in a single player game or an easier difficulty, remap ability, subtitles, etc. isn’t hurting anyone’s game. They simply need an extra hand to enjoy the features the developer worked very hard to create. january

2013

Shame C rner From the Thread:

Ten Commandments kim taylor wrote: ur mum is so fat even Dora could not explore her kim taylor wrote: uâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re so fat when u jumped into e Atlantic Ocean,it turned into e Atlantic Desert kim taylor wrote: urâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re face is so ugly it kills faster than any gun or bomb kim taylor wrote: ur head is so big that u put e moon out of business kim taylor was just banned by R1CH. Reason: Trash poster.

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The Thread That Was Almost Good By TKWL

ToKoreaWithLove wrote: This was soooooo close to being a good thread, but then you just had to faceplant at the end. Too bad. The faceplant: Implenia wrote: Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d like to thank the people who actually put some effort in their posts. However the overall quality is lacking. I wish there was some moderation besides power-tripping mods like Nyovne that would contribute to the quality of the Dota 2 sections instead of banning active users. For the thread click here.

PixelNite wrote: I was just wondering how Bumblebee feels after "his match against Scarlett in RSL" casted by HD

Bumblebee wrote: LOL. january

2013

A topic which spawned four parody threads, for whatever reason. Original topic: 'Zerg's Flooding NA Ladder', by Rusty Eyeballs Parody #1: 'Protoss Flooding the Ladder', by Mrvoodochild1 (warned) Parody #2: ‘Terran flooding the ladder’, by MysteryMeat1 (warned) Parody #3: ‘Random Flooding the ladder’, by Juicypen (warned) Parody #4: ‘The colour blue flooding the ladder’, by Kronborg (warned) Bibbit wrote: Immediately we could feel our "stupid bullshit" meters soar to safe, sustainable levels even in the absence of AE, SoR, and any particular drama. But it didn't stop there. Soon after, we saw our first copycat hero. A man named Mrvoodoochild1, perhaps with good intentions, created another thread where he cleverly replaced the word "zerg" with "protoss." Clearly a work of comic genius, but he could have never known the horror it would trigger. Quickly we saw more copycat heroes emerge, overflowing the site with very dangerous levels of stupid bullshit.

From the Thread:

any teamspeak iam entertaining MilAgro wrote: Hey its me, I made a couple Sc2 montages, http://www.youtube.com/sc2milagro However iam VERY open to new stuff, may it be video or sc2 gameplay wise, please pm me, I am fun, but i hate enjoying myself alone ;DDD pls pm me, even skype calls that run out a second later are atracting me, real drunk german guy awaiting. You want a movie about ureself? I will make a movie about you! no matter what, if u respond you will have greatest publicity++ Greatest news, iam MilAgro and i love you MilAgro wrote: God I rock, pm me or Catosstrophe.915 on EU server zatic wrote: You can remake this when you are sober and can type proper English. Thread Closed. 100

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NB wrote: Why did you decided to inject the idea of BL-Infestor imbalance in all the MLG Dallas interview? When did you actually realized that the imbalance exists and when did you decided that you need to do something about it? Did you try to directly contact blizzard before hand and what was their response? We could all agree here that taking this issue to the public view is just almost as bad as Destiny releasing his controversy article. edit: most of the questions are directed to Kennigit or who ever wrote his questions for all the interviews. Kennigit wrote: Why did you decided to inject the idea of BL-Infestor imbalance in all the MLG Dallas interview? Because every programer talks about it and i wanted to get a variety of informed opinions. It's pretty useless to ask two players or something because depending on their race etc you get bias. The fact that even zerg players said that theres an issue is quite telling. When 14/15 players say "yeah it's bad" you have solid evidence to make an opinion. When did you actually realized that the imbalance exists and when did you decided that you need to do something about it? Has nothing to do with me. I'm just asking questions. I dont care if theres an imbalance or not. I care if the players think there is one. Did you try to directly contact blizzard before hand and what was their response? You seem to think im on a crusade. I'm not. I'm just asking different pros their opinion. We could all agree here that taking this issue to the public view is just almost as bad as Destiny releasing his controversy article. No we couldn't all agree. We could all agree that drawing a relationship between a balance question and the scene dying makes you literally worse than Hitler.

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On November 22 2012 06:43 GreatWhiteMan wrote: I will abide and hope to one day become a great contributor at this site. A mere minute later... On November 22 2012 06:44 GreatWhiteMan wrote: Chinks canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t make music worth shit.....close this stupid fuckin thread please. User was banned for this post.

SoundsStarcraft wrote: I don't think u can realy hate on Husky. He's the best thing SC2 has out there promoting it because he's so entertaining even if u know little about the game. That's why he's so successful. If you want more serious commentary there's heaps out there like on GOMTV etc but if you like funny/entertaining commentary then there's Husky and this new dude Soundsstarcraft- www. yoututbe.com/soundsstarcraft - he's pretty entertaining but still covers the strat a fair bit. User was temp banned for this post.

animefreak15 wrote: /Users/2014burlo1/Desktop/Anime/Rosario and Vampire/Vidoes with songs /Place for my head - Rosario Vampire AMV.mp4 animefreak15 wrote: Well that didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t work lol how has every1 been posting videos

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Xiphos wrote: This is just sad. I seriously wonder what will TeamLiquid say about this. I sincerely hope that Sea won't get punished for this. Waxangel wrote: you are an idiot FataLe wrote: God, the people in this thread are a joke. and by joke, I mean they don’t know how to recognize one. Zergneedsfood wrote: Or maybe you’re just one of those people who gives people more credit than they deserve for a comment that would still be retarded even if it was intended as a joke? o_O FataLe wrote: lol, reading comprehension of the gods. I give no credit to the guy, I instead, find it hilarious that some of TL’s members don’t possess a sarcasm detector. Waxangel wrote: you’re also an idiot darkness wrote: I have a question for US mods. Which is the best American state to live in if you take this in mind: - Nice weather (including being safe from hurricanes) - Job - (optional) at least 50% white population It may seem random to some people, but if I ever go to America, I’d try such a state if any.

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KwarK wrote: There was a fundamental misunderstanding on your part into how this works. 1) You made a homophobic remark. 2) I banned you for it. 3) You attempted to explain to me why it was not ban worthy and asked how to appeal. 4) I did not accept your argument as to why it was not homophobic. My opinion was that it was homophobic and I upheld the ban. I also explained how to appeal should you not be satisfied with the result. 5) You insisted that I explain to you to your satisfaction why you should be banned. This point here is where I think the fundamental misunderstanding is. You see how it works is that you are the forum poster, you make the posts on the forum. Then I am the moderator and my purpose is to moderate them and judge those which don't meet our standards. I don't need to persuade you that your posting is so bad that you should take two weeks off, if I feel that it is so bad that you should take time off then I use a ban. I make the judgement. I considered your PM explaining why you felt you shouldn't be banned and then I dismissed it because you were, in my opinion, wrong. Imagine you were speeding and a police officer pulled you over and the following exchange happened. Police officer: "Sir, you were going 20mph over the speed limit so I'm going to give you a ticket for speeding" Neversummer: "I hardly think that I was doing qualifies as speeding. Who do I contact to complain about you?" the police officer continues writing his ticket Police officer: "Well you could contact the police department or if you are unhappy with the law then I guess you could contact your representative or if you are unhappy with the way that one number can be higher than another then please contact the universe." Neversummer: "Is that a joke? Please address my complaint about how I think going 20mph over the speed limit wasn't speeding." Police officer: "I'm not sure you understand how this works. I'm not here to convince you you need a ticket or to debate traffic law with you. You were speeding and I'm giving you a ticket." Neversumer: "But my car has excellent brakes and the visibility is good so I feel that if anything happened then I could easily have stopped in time and anyway the traffic laws in question are bad and what gives you the right? I heard once that a guy who was pulled over for speeding and had his pregnant wife in labour in the back of his car and was on the way to the hospital made a successful appeal against a ticket. The police officer in that case felt that the ticket wouldn't be justified. I would therefore like you to explain to me why my situation is different to that and then, if you can explain to me to my satisfaction why my case isn't the same, I will accept the ticket." Police officer: "Sir, you were speeding, here is your ticket". Neversummer: "But we didn't even discuss how the speed limit doesn't vary depending upon the weather even though stopping distances do vary! How can you give me a ticket if you are unwilling to do that?!?!?" Hopefully that explains why I think your objection was completely retarded. You were homophobic, I judged you as homophobic and banned you for it. It doesn't matter what you think.

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From the Thread:

Acquiring Female fatfail wrote: Guys, I need to be desirable and acquire a girlfriend, please assist. Females at my high school have shown little to no interest in me. I’d consider myself above average regarding intelligence and roughly average by aevsthetic appearance. I’d like to mention a Chinese proverb, “醜女多作怪”.It roughly translates to, “The uglier the girl, the more fucked up their personality. “ This is a problem that I may be confronting. Out of the female population at my high school, the attractive girls already have boyfriends and the available candidates are not only ugly, but also have fucked up personalities. Additionally, these ugly girls show little interest in me and deride me on a frequent basis. I’m not blaming my environment for anything, but I’m wondering if I should aim low at first or aim high? Additionally, how can I make myself a desirable male? Please ask for additional info if you require it. I really appreciate your assistance!

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Pon Year As we survived the Mayan apocalypse and entered another new year it’s the time of year where general gaming sites everywhere are publishing their review of the games from 2012. That’s all fine and dandy, but not quite our cup of tea. We consulted our inner nerd (aka TheToast) on the best games that came out 20 years ago (well, 19 since it’s the start of the year). So we tied Toast to a chair and made him write out his highlights of the year... 1993.

Top Ten Games of 1993 The cream of the crop for this year, these are ten games that any nerds have been clamoring over. These games won over our hearts for their groundbreaking graphics, addicting gameplay and/or incredible storylines.

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DOOM

If you haven’t heard about Doom yet, we sincerely like to suggest you move out fro under that rock you’re living under. Doom without a doubt the most incredible game the year, and one that has had nerds swo since its release. Hack and blast your way through zombie-hell spawn from Mars, wh could be better? How about a multiple pla game mode and jaw-dropping graphics? game does everything right, and makes la year’s Wolfenstein 3D seems positively bo

ny Tales Gaming r in Review 1 993 (Because Retro is Cool) With three episodes of demon infested levels to smash your way through, a crazy cool arsenal of weapons, and tons of secrets; this should keep even the most ardent gamer happy for months. And that’s why it’s the #1 game for this year’s holiday guide. Hopefully you’ve been nice this year because this is one game you don’t want to miss out on. Avaliable on Steam.

would om m is e of ooning y hat ayer This ast oring.

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ULtIMA UNdErWOrLd II: LAByrINtH OF WOrLdS

One again, Looking Glass Studios has blown us away. The sequel to last year’s game, Ultima Underworld: The Stygian Abyss, has us once again tossed into the vast universe of Ultima in another brilliant first person-RPG mash up. You’re tasked with traveling across eight parallel worlds to save yourself and your friends trapped in the Castle of Lord British; the plot is compelling and the quests are great. Coupled with improvements to its predecessors’ already stunning visuals and same immersive gameplay, this makes for one awesome experience. Ultima II is exciting and groundbreaking for so many reasons, and no nerd should be satisfied until they have indulged in this game. Avaliable on GoG. (Comes with 1st game.)

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StAr WArS X-WINg

If you don’t think piloting a rebel X-Wing through Imperial space on a mission to save the galaxy is cool, please check your pulse, you may in fact be dead. Well, maybe living dead. Not since Wing Commander 2’s release two years ago have we been so enthralled with a space combat game. Great graphics, awesome sound effects, and engaging missions make this a winner for LucasArts. Music from the original trilogy and the chance to blow up the Death Star will have any Star Wars fan giddy with joy.

MAStEr OF OrION At first look, Master of Orion just seemed like Civilization in space. But after countless enthralled hours, we’ve all come to realize it’s so much more. In In Master of Orion, players start out with a single home system, and from there begin to explore the galaxy; colonizing new planets, meeting alien races, fighting massive interstellar wars. There’s a rather complex tech tree, economic system, and a wide array of diplomatic options that will keep any nerd glued to his computer for days on end. Life is so much better spent conquering the galaxy than with friends and family. Trust me. Avaliable on GoG. (Comes with 2nd game.)

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SIM CIty 2000

After a few questionable releases, Maxis has finally returned to their roots with a follow up to their fantastic 1989 game, Sim City. Sim City 2000 has expanded on virtually all the concepts of its predecessor; where the first game was sand-box style pick and place, Sim City 2000 is a fully involved realistic simulation. SC2 offers dozens of new and exciting options to build your new metropolis, from transportation consisted of complex mass transit systems and highways and you can spend hours tweak tax and funding rates, floating bonds, and enacting ordinances. Or you can just get down and dirty and start building. Sim City 2000 is a worthy successor 110

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to the franchise, and offers any Sim nerd potentially hundreds of hours of fun constructing your virtual paradise. Or setting it all on fire, whichever you prefer. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s all good fun. Avaliable on GoG.

MySt

Myst’s release earlier this year stunned the PC gaming world with its mind blowing visuals. Now add in the creepy atmosphere, intriguing plot, and some of the best music we’ve ever heard in a game and you can see why this is the game worth waiting out in the rain for. Cyan has outdone themselves, and we’re quite excited to see what the future holds for this upstart developer. Just don’t forget Myst only comes on CD-ROM, so it may just be time to invest in one of those expensive newfangled devices. Avaliable on GoG.

ALONE IN tHE DArK 2 Another year, another haunted mansion, and another amazing adventure game from Infrograms. We once again follow the story of Edward Carnby on the trail of a kidnapped girl, and once again running into some supernatural baddies. Fight, sneak, and even set booby traps as you make your way through a mansion known as Hell’s Kitchen. This game is every bit as inventive and awesome as its predecessor. Avaliable on GoG. (Comes with 1 & 3.) january

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SAM ANd MAx HIt tHE ROAd

Based on two comic book characters created by Steve Purcell, Sam and Max are the “Freelance Police”. Sent on a wacky mission to recover a Bigfoot and giraffe-headed girl, Sam and Max set out on a strange but mostly hilarious and awesome journey across the US. It’s a must play for any adventure game fan, and another winner from Lucas Arts.` Avaliable on GoG.

GABrIEL KNIgHt: SINS OF tHE FAtHErS Yes, there really is a third adventure game on this year’s top ten. And why shouldn’t there be? This game is fantastic, set in New Orleans it includes many virtual versions of real world locations such as the French Quarter and Tulane University among many others. We follow the enigmatic Gabriel Knight has he performs his own investigation into a spate of murders with links to Vodoo. As the game progresses an enthralling plot of a seedy underworld and ancient curse is revealed. Avaliable on GOG. 112

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ULtIMA VII PArt TWO: SErpENt ISLE

This is obviously Part II of the amazing Ultima VII series, and so far one of the best additions to the series. The quests are huge and unique; the story line is as fantastic as weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve come to expect from the Ultima games. The game takes place on Serpent Isle entirely outside of Britannia, six months after the end of the events in Ultima Underworld II. The storyline is fantastic, the visuals are great, and the game is everything and Ultima title should be. This is one of the best RPGs weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve ever played, and is one that you should seek out and play as quickly as possible. Avalaible on GoG.

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Other Great Games For the nerd who has everything, here are some awesome games that just weren’t good enough to make our top ten of 1993 list. But they’re still awesome games that deserve to be recognized.

SyNdIcAtE Why is it on the list? Because running a futuristic cyber-punk corporation with a team of cyborg assassins at your call is loads of fun, that’s why. Seriously though, this game has some great depth to it and is loads of fun. Avaliable on GoG.

LANdS OF LOrE: THE THrONE OF CHAOS The Ultima series wasn’t this year’s only major RPG. Lands of Lore is a great looking first person RPG game with a great plot and intuitive gameplay. It’s yet another gem from veteran developer Westwood, who was behind last year’s smash hit Dune II. Avaliable on GoG. (Comes with 2)

MS FLIgHt SIMuLAtOr 5 The fully textured 3D environments in this year’s update to Microsoft’s popular title will be sure to make this one great Christmas for the Sim gamer in your life. The visuals are truly stunning with a full 640x400 resolution, 256 colors, and 3D buildings fulled textured with their own shadows. And to top it off it’s got the same great true-to-life controls that we’ve come to expect from this game series. We’re a bit disappointing that only 4 planes are available, but that should be more than enough for the yearning deck chair-pilot. Avaliable on Amazon. (CDROM)

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StrONgHOLd Sim City meets Dungeons and Dragons. Build your own fantasy themed city and defend it against evil! Or be evil and defend it against good, either way good. A bit complicated and tough to learn, but any Sim fan should find hours of fun here. Avaliable on GoG.

WINg COMMANdEr: PrIvAtEEr For the space combat fan who just can’t get enough, or who just can’t wait for the next Wing Commander game, Privateer makes a great replacement. It doesn’t have the sprawling campaign of Wing Commander 2, but the game play is still great and has potentially hours of fun for any fan of the series. Avaliable on GoG.

THE INcrEdIBLE MAcHINE Sure, it’s a bit goofy, but as puzzle games go this one is loads of fun. The objectives on each level are different, but the general premise is to use limited materials to build massive Rube Goldberg style contraptions to perform basic tasks. It’s tons of fun, family friendly, and has some surprisingly decent visuals. Avaliable on GoG.

THE 7tH GuESt A thrilling adventure/puzzle game with a creepy backdrop and intriguing story The visuals are stunning, and while it’s no Doom it will keep even the sharpest puzzle solver scratching their heads for hours. Avaliable on GoG.

THE LOSt VIKINgS While this game is good fun, it’s nothing ground breaking. We’re not sure why it’s on the list. Something just tells us this developer is going places…

CD-ROM DrIvE They may be expensive, but if games like Myst and The 7th Guest are any indication, every gamer is going to want one of these deals. CD-ROM versions of a number of existing games are apparently in the works already, and more CD-ROM only games seem to be the future.

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by Proseat Each point containing a

is a clickable link.

2010 2010-08-14 BoxeR starts playing SC2 under the ID “manofoneway” November 2010 - SC2CON is formed by existing Korean SC2 teams 2010-11-03 BoxeR’s name is removed from KeSPA’s official progamer list

January/February 2011 - GanZi, still on Incredible Miracle, wants to join SlayerS - Incredible Miracle request GSL suspension for GanZi from SC2CON - SlayerS meet SC2CON coaches with GanZi and Mvp present to resolve issue - GanZi is cleared of charges, joins SlayerS shortly before GSL March - SlayerS is disillusioned by SC2CON, will not join the organization

2010-11-05 Intel confirmed as personal sponsor for BoxeR + new team

2011-02-15 Razer sponsors SlayerS_BoxeR

2010-11-09 SlayerS is formed by BoxeR and Jessica (some sources say October 30, but November 9 is the date on their clan page)

2011-03-24 SlayerS win GSTL March

2010-11-30 Initial SlayerS clan roster is announced 2010-12-09 SlayerS announce pro team recruitment phase (note difference between clan and team) 2010-12-20 Initial SlayerS pro team lineup announced December 2010 - SC2CON request SlayerS join the organization

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March 2011 - NASL Season 1 is announced, BoxeR and others prepare for it - SC2CON chairman Coach Won asks SlayerS to boycott NASL over flights not paid - preparations for SlayerS are already made and sponsor Intel offers to pay - so SlayerS decline the request from SC2CON 2011-05-19 SlayerS win GSTL May

2011-05-27 SlayerS Clan changes name to “Starcraft II Team SlayerS” May/June 2011 - SlayerS players take part in NASL Season 1 - SC2CON teams start refusing to practice with SlayerS players 2011-06-14 Eve joins SlayerS 2011-06-24 Long interview with Jessica about the beginnings of SlayerS July/August 2011 - NASL Season 2 is announced - SC2CON teams plan to boycott NASL again, ask SlayerS to follow suit - SlayerS agree to join the boycott this time to protest deposits - Refusal by SC2CON teams to practice with SlayerS players continues 2011-08-09 YellOw joins SlayerS as honorary member

between MMA and Coach Ryu payment-wise - Crank joins SlayerS after finishing his military service 2011-09-24 SC2CON disbands 2011-10-21 SlayerS partner with Evil Geniuses 2011-10-30 Sleep leaves SlayerS 2011-11-06 - players MMA, Ryung, Alicia, Puzzle, GanZi sign one-year contracts with SlayerS - these contracts are described as necessary to attract new sponsors - but there is also pressure on all Korean teams to bind their star players - a prize money sharing clause is part of these contracts, but not enforced - 9:1 ratio for under 1 million Won and 8:2 ratio for over 2 million Won 2011-11-12 SocceR (Ven) joins SlayerS

2011-08-12 SlayerS along with SC2CON teams withdraw from NASL Season 2

2011-11-15 CoCa demoted to SlayerS B-Team

2011-08-17 CoCa joins SlayerS

2011-11-19 Team Slayers: Something Special (MLG Providence Video Special)

2011-08-20 Puzzle joins SlayerS

2011-11-28 Clide joins SlayerS

2011-08-30 ThorZaiN stays at SlayerS team house until September 8

November/December 2011 - Evil Geniuses players stay at the SlayerS team house (video)

September/October 2011 - after ThorZaiN leaves, Coach Ryu joins SlayerS as a personal coach to MMA - he is a personal friend of MMA’s, later coaches other SlayerS players as well - apparently there is a verbal contract

December 2011 - Hui-Chul “Garfield” Jung a.k.a. “Manager J” joins SlayerS - formerly with sponsor Razer, he has accompanied the team since Feb 2011 - he is to handle sponsorships and international relations for SlayerS january

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- fluent in English, he will also operate the Facebook and Twitter accounts 2011-12-28 SlayerS team house moves from downtown Seoul (Yeouido) to Gimpo (“Manager J” tweeting at HuK about new team house after move) 2011-12-28 - Jessica meets with Coach Won, previously head of now disbanded SC2CON - she addresses other teams refusing to practice with SlayerS players - Coach Won: “it’s cheap, but we plan to penalize SlayerS in at least this way” - it’s implied that this is all because SlayerS would not join SC2CON

2012 January/February 2012 - SlayerS begin process to negotiate contract extensions with sponsors - “Manager J” is put in charge of this by team management - Jessica eventually receives reports of negotiations failing - SlayerS attempt to continue without main sponsors Razer and Intel - contracted players are ordered to deposit prize money share (~10 million Won) - this money is to be used to pay for coaching staff (Cella, Ryu, “Manager J”) - leftovers are to be used on player benefits (winter unforms, recreational gear) 2012-01-16 Golden and Dragon leave SlayerS 2012-01-19 Farewell letter from Golden to SlayerS

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2012-01-26 BoxeR appointed playing head coach of SlayerS February/March 2012 - NASL Season 3 is announced, former SC2CON teams still want to boycott - SlayerS see no results to their boycotting of Season 2, take part in qualifiers - 8 SlayerS players successfully qualify for NASL Season 3 - MVP Coach Choi calls Jessica to express his disappointment in SlayerS - he asks that SlayerS players pull out like qualified FXO players did - Jessica denies the request, SlayerS players will compete in NASL Season 3 - in a final appeal to stop other teams ostracizing SlayerS, Jessica calls Coach Won - she says SlayerS players shouldn’t suffer, so she would disband the team - players would transfer but she’d hold the other teams liable for sponsor damages - on March 27 Jessica receives an e-mail from Coach Won that the ban is lifted - but SlayerS players later report that the ostracizing is still going on - it’s later revealed that an offical practice ban was in effect March 10 - 27 - “Manager J” tells MMA of supposed personal sponsorship embezzlement - this is a day before his Code S match versus aLive on February 15 - MMA is distraught and eventually confides in Crank asking for advice - Crank suggests MMA talk to BoxeR, who when asked by MMA has no information - throughout February team atmosphere seems to tank and strangely disorderly - Jessica becomes suspicious of “Manager J”’s actions and starts to investigate

- apparently, “Manager J” has been telling sponsors and management different things - in some instances he was not even in contact with sponsors or handling it poorly - Jessica also finds out about “Manager J” telling MMA about personal sponsorship - things point to “Manager J” trying to steal the players and create a new team - Jessica is distraught that players would not tell her, no longer trusts MMA - MMA first mentions intent to leave SlayerS for a foreign team 2012-02-28 Jessica tweets about betrayal of someone operating SlayerS Facebook/ Twitter accounts 2012-03-01 Statement to TL.net: SlayerS Facebook and Twitter no longer official (operated by Hui-Chul “Garfield” Jung a.k.a. “Manager J”, previously of Razer) 2012-03-10 SlayerS announce team draft (March 12 - 16) (Arthur, Dark, KDY may have come from this) March 2012 - Jessica and Boxer gather the players to apologize about “Manager J” - “If there was a mistake made by us, it was bringing manager J into the team.” - Jessica asks players to revitalize the team, but the atmosphere stays bleak - MMA is scapegoated by Jessica for the state the team is in, he confides in Crank - at some point there is a row over contracts and prize money sharing to pay coaches - previously collected contract-based prize money shares are returned to

players - Coach Ryu is told that he has to collect a share from players himself - Jessica offers players to void contracts and release those who wish to leave - only GanZi takes team management up on their offer and asks to be released - TaeJa asks to leave as a noncontracted player 2012-03-13 GanZi and TaeJa leave SlayerS 2012-03-17 Signs of Razer no longer sponsoring SlayerS 2012-03-23 Interview with SlayerS coaches Cella and Ryu 2012-03-31 Jessica sues Korean netizen for cyber defamation in SlayerS chat 2012-04-03 SlayerS Open House Day in new Gimpo location (announced March 23) 2012-04-16 BoxeR forfeits Code A match to go into rehabilation for shoulder problems 2012-04-30 “e-Sports Federation” (ESF) is formed by SC2 teams without SlayerS (this is in anticipation of the eSports Transition Conference) 2012-05-02 StarCraft II eSports Transition Conference 2012-05-18 Coach Ryu leaves SlayerS May/June 2012 - Crank repeatedly complains to team management about stressful team january

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atmosphere - Jessica asks BoxeR who is in rehabilation to go back and stay at the team house - despite Crank even driving players to their matches, the atmosphere remains bad - after a while, Crank asks to be sent home to rest because of neck problems - through social media Crank makes it clear that he does not want to play in GSTL - eventually, Cella tells Jessica that Crank had told him he plans to quit SC2 2012-06-19 Razer confirms they no longer sponsor SlayerS 2012-06-26 Genius joins SlayerS, Crank leaves SlayerS temporarily Clide leaves SlayerS July/August 2012 - Alicia complains about not getting car rides and recognition for results abroad - he is subsequently sent home to practice alone as he also abstains from GSTL - Crank starts streaming playing on NA server, mentions neck problems - eventually says on stream that he is looking for a foreign team - Jessica feels betrayed in that Crank left for the wrong reasons - team atmosphere is at its low point despite the team making the GSTL finals - Jessica and BoxeR decide to permanently release Crank and demote MMA in absentia - they also talk to Ryung explaining to him that MMA had become “a cancer to the team” - Ryung is to go home and practice away from the bad team atmosphere 120

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- when MMA returns to the team house he hears about the demotion from Ryung - when BoxeR then makes it official to him, MMA says he wants to leave the team - BoxeR tells him that he is still under SlayerS contract for some time - this leads to MMA being emotional and calling it a “slave contract” 2012-07-17 MMA demoted to SlayerS B-Team and sent home 2012-07-28 SlayerS lose to an FXO all-kill in the GSTL finals Alicia decides to leave SlayerS after talking to BoxeR 2012-08-08 KeSPA and ESF agree on trade lock until October 2013 (ESFI article mentions SlayerS is part of the deal) August 2012 - negotiations with undisclosed foreign teams are held to possibly transfer MMA - talks break down over Jessica asking for an incredibly large transfer fee - MMA is later offered to other teams such as Liquid for no transfer fee at all - on August 10 Crank has a long phone call with Jessica and BoxeR which is recorded - in the phone call emotions run high ending in Crank being disrespectful to BoxeR - BoxeR is shocked that after all the investments his own players turned against him - losing his passion, Jessica suggests BoxeR take a coaching position at SKT 2012-08-16 BoxeR leaves SlayerS

2012-09-01 SlayerS and Evil Geniuses end partnership 2012-09-21 Puzzle withdraws from NASL and GSL 2012-10-17 Jessica announces that SlayerS will disband early November 2012-10-19 ESF apologize to SlayerS, Coach Won steps down as Head of ESF 2012-11-03 Last GSTL match of SlayerS, team to disband after 2012-11-06 one-year contracts for SlayerS players MMA, Ryung, Alicia, Puzzle, and Genius end (Genius and reportedly Alicia have already been released from contract)

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CREDITS

Edito

Graphics Lead

Shiroiusagi

Copy E

Sirj Ghetto Cook

Newbistic Xmas Guide 1993

TheToast Ask PonyTales

intrigue

BEYOND THE L

Torte d Content

Aerisky itsjustatank Jbright

Grap

disciple Frozenfuryblade 122

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or in Chief

lexa

COVER

LIP THE PENCILBOY

Editing

jolt SPEEDRUNNING

PLEXA Interviews

skindzer Thorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Corner of Fun

TheToast

LIQUID GLASS

de lini Finding

marttorn TheEmulator Torte de lini

phics

wallpapers

fusefuse ninjan january

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