sunflowerpub.com
spring 2014
Dear Mortified in P.M., Don’t be embarrassed. Premature wheat-waving is a common problem, especially in men who have imbibed too much beer. Statistics suggest that 32 percent of Jayhawk men, ages 18-59 have experienced premature wheat-waving, at least once in their lives. That said, it appears your husband has a habitual problem, and it could be a threat to your relationship. A few ideas: Try to ease your husband’s pre-game anxiety as much as possible. Provide distractions during game days to keep his mind occupied on things besides basketball. Keep him busy with chores before tip-off. (Tell him to clean that singing toilet before the guests arrive.) If that doesn’t work, remind him that there are guidelines–much like Dr. James Naismith’s rules of basketball–for waving the wheat and the Rock Chalk Chant. According to Curtis Marsh, director of KU Info, “Waving the wheat should only be done 1) when an opposing player fouls out, and 2) when the game is over. The Rock Chalk Chant is the more subjective tradition. When is the right time to start it? We must be very safely ahead, and it is informal tradition to start no earlier than 1:30 left.” Mr. Marsh adds that, “while alumni and current students don’t always agree, that is the widely accepted standard. It is appropriate to expect watch-party etiquette to follow Fieldhouse etiquette.” Wishing you a timely Rock Chalk, Aunt Maggie
Aunt Maggie, or Maggie Lawrence, is the pen name of a fifth-generation Lawrencian who knows all of the city’s ins and outs, but often prefers the company of her prized herd of goats (themselves descended from caprine survivors of Quantrill’s Raid). She doesn’t tolerate fools, but has a heart in there, somewhere, and is always full of good advice.
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