Volume 2 Issue 1 by Student Review

Tuesday September 18, 2012

Volume 2 Issue 1

This Barcode does nothing.

USA Free UK 13.50 Can 603.78

Issue No. 1

The BACK TO SCHOOL Issue

thestudentreview.org

By Tamarra Kemsley Tamarra Kemsley is a senior studying journalism. She is graduating in December and plans on living in a small box on a corner in midtown Manhattan.

Lately Syria has been on my mind. Lately mass graves where fathers, mothers and children are all buried, one on top of the other, have been on my mind. Lately my helplessness has been on my mind. What does one do when confronted with his or her individual limitations in the face of crisis? To what extent can community action prevail over such individual limitations? I am tired of pretending the Student Review doesn’t have an agenda. If anything has ever been born from specific goals and pet projects it’s the Student Review. It was in desperation that a few helplessness-ridden souls united to discover what capabilities union afforded.

Our goal Today is the same AS it was Then: To create a better community by allowing everyone the chance to have a Voice.” Cheesy? Yes. Sincere? I can’t even tell you. There is nothing from my entire college career—save my time in Jerusalem—that I will cherish as much as the reports I’ve received of lives changed for the better through an article we published. They are many, and I hope with every issue, every online post, that number will increase. I think it will. And I have you, the articulate, caring, conscientious students who have contributed, to thank. Thank you for helping this girl to feel a little less helpless.

Sincerely, Tamarra Kemsley

3 thestudentreview.org

W e l c o m e B ac k , F e l l ow C l a s s m at es . Get ‘Er Done.

Heart, T h e S t ude n t R e vi e w S taf f

This issue is dedicated to the HBLL subject librarians. You do amazing work and rarely get any credit for ending “askjeeves.com”based “research methods” of bright eyed, yet hopeless freshman. You taught us about EBESCO. Praise you for JSTOR. And by golly, thanks to you, we are finally realizing that all of the interesting BX books have a special section staffed by sister missionaries that make us think twice about our neglect for family history. Subject librarians, we, the students of Student Review, salute you. Some of your sincerest fans, The Student Review Staff Photo Credit: The U.s. National Archives

Caffeine at BYU Silly Distraction…

or Serious Debate?

Written by Talmage Spackman

Written by Amber Nance

tudents all over BYU awoke mid-afternoon Saturday to find their dorm rooms littered with empty cans, broken bottles, sequins and body paint in what some are calling “the greatest ‘flippin’ party ever.” In response to a statement posted on LDS.org approximately two weeks ago declaring that “the Church does not prohibit caffeine,” some students have become caught up in apparently uncontrollable consumption of caffeine-laden sodas. Others, pushing the boundaries of hedonism even further, hold strobe-light raves where caffeine pills, energy drinks and pacifiers are passed around. Just days ago, long-time pro-caffeine students gathered on campus to hand out free caffeinated beverages. Their goal was to show the administration that there is indeed enough demand to make selling such beverages on campus profitable. While no one doubts that BYU could move a lot of product if it were passed out for free in Brigham Square, so far BYU Dining Services shows no sign of budging. But not everyone is partying. Hugh Markel, a junior in the Marriott School of Business, responded to the recent announcement. “I’m really shaken,” he said despairingly, taking a swig from his half-empty can of Pepsi. “What’s next? Alcohol? Crack? Kissing before marriage?” Other students are completely oblivious of the recent announcement. “What?” was the callous response of one student, when asked about his feelings regarding the recent non-change. “I don’t even drink soda,” said another. The author wonders how such a person could consider himself a real American. Though it remains to be seen how Mormon culture as a whole will adjust, if history is any teacher, the LDS people will bounce back with renewed vigor and enthusiasm, re-embracing their faith, strengthening their families and possibly moving to an uninhabited region and building a city. Or, they may just quietly continue on with their daily struggles with a little help from their (for some) newfound friend—caffeine. ▀

o test the recent statement made by BYU spokeswoman Carri Jenkins that there has not "been a demand” for caffeinated drinks on campus, a group of students conducted their own experiment. They bought 200 caffeinated sodas to campus and offered them to students for free to see how in demand they really are. The operation was interrupted in just minutes when campus police approached the group. Police warned that permission was needed from channels such as BYU Dining Services and BYUSA to distribute substances and flyers on campus, then asked the students to leave. “They were nice about it—very jovial,” Seth Howard, who organized the activity, said. “We weren’t protesting anything; it was very peaceful.” The group reportedly handed out about 50 sodas in the three minutes before the police intervened, and were able to pass out the remainder just off campus in about 40 minutes. However, not all students were apparently as thrilled about the experiment. Despite the statement okaying the chemical for consumption coming from the Church itself, still others started “going crazy about...the Word of Wisdom.” “Some people were rude to us,” Howard said. “Another guy started swearing at us.” In the end, BYU Administration says it’s a topic to be brought up with Dining Services, though perhaps not right away. “It's really Dining Services that determines the beverages,” BYU Spokeswoman Carri Jenkins said. “And right now they are so busy with football games and serving 30,000 meals a day. But they are always re-evaluating the needs of their customers.” Howard said he has written them about the issue. “I wrote an email to Dining Services,” he said. “I said I wanted to talk with them to see what we can do to make our voices heard. So hopefully we hear back from them.” ▀

This article is satirical. Any names that happen to correspond to real individuals is purely coincidental.

Staff Editor-in-Chief Tamarra Kemsley

Crystal Kemsley Hunter Phillips

Art Director Craig Mangum

PR Team Maddie Hunsaker Jon Uland

Photographer Sarah Kay Brimhall Web Editor Cole Spicker Business Team Ben Harper Grant Harper

Copy Editor Bronwyn Bent Contributors Andy Andersen Alex Bennett Victoria Birkbeck Spencer Campbell

Christopher Diep Grant Harper Miya Kodama Andrew Livingston Amber Nance Taylor Ottesen Stephen Smoot Talmage Spackman Allie Rae Treharne Natasha Watts Shane Woods Corey Wozniak

A special thank you to this month’s SR Heroes Ally Cuneo BYUSA Twitter Account Manager Carri Jenkins

Celina Cortez

Chelsey Ruiz Crazy Old Maurice

Emily Golightly

Karyn Cady Garrison

Kevin Keonvongsa Tighty Willis

Winning Monroe

Higgs Boson And Creation: Why faith needs science and science needs faith Written by Christopher Diep

“We are supposed to learn by both reason and revelation, and that does not happen when we compartmentalize science and religion.” - Dallin H. Oaks, Life’s Lessons Learned: Personal Reflections

O Photo Credit: U.s. National Archives

Photo Credit: U.s. National Archives

New Journal on Mormon Studies Launches Written By STEPHEN O. Smoot

Image Daniel C. Petersen From Mormoninterpreter.com

n July 4th, the European Organization for Nuclear Research (CERN) announced the discovery of a particle consistent with the properties of the Higgs Boson, though many remain cautious to pronounce it as such just yet. At the very least, it is a new boson. The Higgs Boson has been given the misnomer “the God Particle” to describe its significance: an analogy in science can only do so much to make ideas more palatable. The Higgs Boson is thought to be responsible for giving mass to particles in the universe. Think of energy zipping along and nothing having any weight after the Big Bang. The Higgs Boson slows down all the zipping in its molasses-like field. Things get caught and in-

hortly after his dismissal from the Neal A. Maxwell Institute for Religious Scholarship, Professor Daniel C. Peterson, a professor of Arabic and Islamic Studies at BYU, announced last month at the annual Mormon Apologetics Conference the initiation of a new scholarly journal that will explore a number of subjects related to Mormon doctrine, history and scripture. The new journal, titled Interpreter: A Journal of Mormon Scriptures, will hopefully be, according to Peterson, “an exciting venue for faithful Latter-day Saint thought and scholarship.” The purpose of Interpreter, according to the mission statement on the journal’s website, “is to increase understanding of scripture through careful scholarly investigation and analysis of the insights provided by a wide range of ancillary disciplines, including language, history, archaeology, literature, culture, ethnohistory, art, geography, law, politics, philosophy, etc.” The new journal also intends to “publish articles advocating the authenticity and his-

teract, becoming heavier. In the end, matter is created and now there is something other than energy. However, even as scientists reveal to us evidence supporting the Big Bang, Latter-day Saints encounter statements that seem to disregard such discoveries. In April’s General Conference, Elder Russell M. Nelson used in his talk “Thanks be to God” an analogy to emphasize his point about the miraculous creation that is the human body and its many physical attributes. “…Some people erroneously think that these marvelous physical attributes happened by chance or resulted from a big bang somewhere,” he said. “Ask yourself, ‘Could an explosion in a printing shop produce a dictionary?’ The likelihood is most remote. But if so, it could never heal its own pages or reproduce its own newer editions!” Such thoughts are not new. In 1909 the Church issued an official statement in reaction to Darwinism denouncing the idea that “the original human being was a development from lower orders of the animal creation.” Scientific reasoning and Mormonism have always been seemingly incompatible with one another, causing conflict. However, history has shown that even Apostles harbor conflicting opinions and beliefs on some subjects. However, it was the Prophet Brigham

Young who declared that Mormons “differ from the Christian world, for our religion will not clash with or contradict the facts of science in any particular” (Journal of Discourses, v. 14, p. 116). God gives us the gift of a reasoning mind. It’s what separates people from animals. It seems like a sin not to use it. Turning our intellect off, especially in the face of difficult and trying questions, seems counterintuitive to God’s purposes. Why else would he grant us such a gift? Only to tease? Settling cognitive dissonance by compartmentalizing is an easy way out. In fact, the division of these two things seems nearly sacrilegious. As the famous author Annie Dillard once asked, “What is the difference between a cathedral and a physics lab? Are not they both saying: Hello?” Ultimately, I believe that by combining faith and trust with searching and reasoning, we can discover the truth of, as we say, all things, though in what time frame I don’t know. I believe that is what we are meant to do. I also believe it is meant to be difficult with answers only down long, tangled trails. And I believe that whatever the answers, God will be pleased with our efforts. Because in the end, as Brigham Young said, “Mormonism includes all truth” (LDS.org, DBY 3). ▀

toricity of LDS scripture and the Restoration, along with scholarly responses to critics of the LDS faith.” In all, those behind the new journal “hope to illuminate, by study and faith, the eternal spiritual message of the scriptures—that Jesus is the Christ.” The journal is peer-reviewed with Professor Peterson currently serving as the Chairman of the Board alongside his friend and associate William J. Hamblin who is serving as Executive Editor. Other members of the editorial board include former Maxwell Institute researchers Louis C. Midgley and Gregory L. Smith, who were dismissed from the Institute along with Peterson earlier this year. All researchers and associates involved in Interpreter are unpaid volunteers. Interpreter further plans on remaining as financially transparent as possible: monthly expenditure reports will be released for public viewing. Thus far, Interpreter has published ar-

ticles addressing subjects surrounding the Book of Mormon, modern atheism and the New Testament. David E. Bokovoy, a PhD in the Hebrew Bible and the Ancient Near East, and Mark Alan Wright, a professor of ancient scripture at BYU and a PhD in Anthropology, have published articles on the Book of Mormon, while William J. Hamblin, a PhD in History and associate professor of history at BYU, has published an exegetical essay on John 17. Articles from Interpreter may be downloaded from the website as PDF files, Kindle and Nook files, MP3s and print-on-demand orders. In addition, there is a podcast,n YouTube channel and blog. All content may be freely shared with others when accompa-I nied by proper citation. c In all, Interpreter appears to be on trackM to become the flagship LDS apologetic journal. This was once a position once filled by the FARMS Review, which has since beenF re-christened the Mormon Studies Reviewp in order to meet the Maxwell Institute’s newh

This I Believe Written by Spencer Campbell This I believe is a recurring article by Student

“Persecutions may rage, mobs may combine, armies may assemble, calumny may defame, but the truth of god will go forth boldly, nobly, and independent.”

Review where BYU students can submit articles discussing their various beliefs. This

- Joseph Smith, JR.

is not limited to religious topics. If you’d like

I was first enticed to memorize the “Standard of Truth” by a Snickers bar when I was 14. At 22, I am still uncovering how deeply these words, and others like them, affect Mormon culture. Powerful statements like this one, though once shouted in the face of violent persecution, seem—at least in the Provo student wards I’ve attended—to act as insurance that in the end, we conservative Mormons, the embodiment of truth, will win. To argue against that conservatism is not just some philosophical or religious debate for many Mormons; it is a personal attack on our identity and potential. It would be like Illustration by Hillary Onyon, hillaryonyonillustration.blogspot.com telling an Israeli Jew they should give East If you disagree with Mormon policy or traJerusalem back to its Palestinian inhabitants, or telling a Muslim that Muhammad was not the last prophet. We, as people, simply take of- dition, then imagine what you could do if you fense when our concepts of eternal laws, rights or prophecies are became a trusted bellwether within the flock, instead of aggressively, directly and openly disagreed with. I lived in California for a couple years and was often reminded of opposing the Church and its members. You the financial and physical effort the Church put forth to defeat Propo- must remain humble about it. You must be sition 8. Our strength doing it for the Lord Himself. And you must We are not going to change and unity is infamous not think yourself above covenants. To be doctrines —those belong to God— within some circles. successful you must hold those closer than It is as the Standard all other things. but we can change tradition. We can In a way, I suppose I am encouraging those of Truth states: “no change perception.” unhallowed hand can of you who despise Sunday School discusstop the work from progressing.” The unhallowed, the unholy, the sions and feel suffocated every time you hateful, the spiteful will never have power to stop the herd. But there step into a ward building, to stay. Please stay. is a difference, I believe, between what is truly unholy and what many True, your hurt and anger is often justified, but we can’t make the mistake of committing of us perceive to be unholy. I love the joke that says, “Catholics say that the Pope cannot make the sin of those we deem our “enemies.” We mistakes, but they do not believe it. Mormons say their prophets must learn to love everyone. What’s more, by staying and showing forth can make mistakes, but they do not believe it.” We readily acknowledge that we have faults, so why are we so reluctant to identify love, I believe acceptance will grow, both specific problems? We have needed help to change our direction be- for you and your differing viewpoints. You fore: stricter adherence to the Word of Wisdom and diligence in tithe can become a voice that matters. As college paying, for example. I realize neither of these examples were terribly students, we are the next generation of lead“hard sayings,” but we, individually and collectively, have needed to be ers and thinkers in the Church. We are not corrected. Yet this does not seem to cause us to ponder our future. going to change doctrines—those belong to We do not seem to sit back and give consistent, honest evaluation to God—but we can change tradition. We can the type of Mormonism we are living individually and collectively and change perception. So feel free to empower the women you what changes may move us closer to the core of our faith. In the Church we often talk about sheep and the Shepherd; how- meet (not just open doors for them), to exever, shepherds know sheep have a tendency to look for a leader claim your joy that you are saved by grace (not among themselves—a practice I do not believe God discourages. A works), or love a gay (or lesbian or bisexual or bellwether is a sheep chosen by the flock to initiate movement and straight or questioning) friend because they direction. It is still within the herd, but the others trust it to lead, to are just as good of people as the rest of us. We think.The bellwether still has to look, sound and smell like a sheep to can make a difference in how the Church of fit in, but it does not have to think like the other sheep. Under the Jesus Christ is accepted worldwide. Just stay a while, and do as Gandhi says : be influence of the Holy Spirit, its possible to gently lead those in your own circle to the green pastures and living waters we read about in the change you want to see. ▀ the scriptures, and do so by avoiding the pitfalls infesting elitist Mormonism and self-centered Mormon policies and politics.

to share a “This I Believe,” please email it to thestudentreview2@gmail.com.

non-apologetic direction. On Saturday, September 22, 2012, Interpreter will be hosting its first academic conference on the theme of “The Temple on Mount Zion”. ▀

For more information, and to read essays published by Interpreter, visit http://www.mormoninterpreter.com

This They Believe: Hinduism Written by Taylor Ottesen

“One of the grand fundamental principles of mormonism is to receive truth, let it come from whence it may.” -Joseph Smith, Jr.

recently traveled to India to study religion and its role as a lifechanging pawn in the medical field. Religion is abundant in almost every aspect of life in India regardless of whether someone is “religious” or not, thus making for an eclectic religious melting pot. In understanding Hinduism, it’s important to understand that it acts as both a culture and a religion in much of the world, and with close to a billion adherents worldwide, it defines many societies today. Hinduism claims no founder or real beginning. Many followers simply assert that it always existed and will continue to do so. The term “Hindu” is a regional term given by outsiders around 600 A.D. meaning “Indian” or “Indian people.” Indeed today the majority of the Hindu faith live in India and the surrounding countries, thus creating a culture that follows many Hindu practices, similar to our very own Utah. With over 15,000 deities, thousands of volumes of scripture and no “right” way to live the doctrine, Hinduism is a very unique and intriguing faith for many. Some of the more popular deities include Shiva, Brahma, Ganesh and Krishna. In recent years, Krishna’s popularity has increased, leading to a sect known as Hare Krishna, which formed in 1966. Salvation is considered a process in the Hindu faith, just as in the Mormon faith. Hindus believe that it is through the worship of different deities for different needs and blessings, combined with good deeds, that one achieves moksha, or liberation, from the cycle of reincarnation is thus integrated into the cosmic whole. Most worship rituals I observed or participated in involved the burning of incense or camphor while venerating (waving over and around in a ceremonial or religious manner) a statue of a particular god or goddess. These rituals, referred to as pujas, often included memorized prayers called mantras, or other Hindu chants. Often bells, drums and devotees’ vocalizations would reverberate off the stone walls where the ceremonies were performed, creating a cacophony of noise simultaneously surreal and sublime. At the end of a ceremony all present would approach the priest to receive blessed water saturated with herbs and oils. This holy water, named teertham, is received in the lotus-style hand position typical of mediation. The holy water is then followed by a blessing pronounced upon the devotee by the priest while a large golden cup is held on the crown of his or her head. In all, Hinduism is ornamented with hundreds of holidays to celebrate various aspects of deities found in the pantheon. One of the more

famous holidays known in our Valley is “Holi”—the festival of colors. Holi is celebrated for several reasons in the Hindu faith. The primary reason stems from Hindu mythology when a god named Prahlada was able to escape from the fires of many tribulations. Bonfires are lit and colors are thrown to simulate the feeling and ambiance of fire all around. This festival also marks the beginning of spring and the new crop season, thus as I walked the streets of New Delhi, color was everywhere. Indian people would throw bags of chalk out the windows of houses and cars and run up to me to wish me happy Holi while throwing the scented dust all over me. People young and old participated and the sidewalks are stained for weeks following. Another festival celebrating the god Shiva (the destroyer) is called Maha Shivratri. I was in a small town in southern India when this festival hit. When the time came, tens of thousands of people flocked in from the nearby villages to take a holy bath in the river. The ceremony, combined with pujas and other rituals is to reverence Lord Shiva and bring good karma and energy into their lives. This festival is very much connected to lunar events and thus takes place throughout the whole night and into the day. Torches, drums and giant crowds of people trekked through the city, striving to draw the attention and blessing of Lord Shiva. Awe and respect shivered through my spine as I watched as a thousand devotees chanted mantras and shouted praises on their way past me. Because of Hinduism’s all-encompassing views and variable usage of doctrine and rituals it is difficult to completely outline specific beliefs. A Hindu might define his or herself as one who worships one or many of the Hindu deities but this worship is subjective to his or her own views of how worship rituals should be performed. Mahatma Gandhi said about Hindu scripture, “My belief in the Hindu Scriptures do not require me to accept every word and every verse as divinely inspired…I decline to be bound by any interpretation, however learned it may be, if it is repugnant to reason and common sense.” This is the general idea of Hinduism in practice. Unlike many faiths today, the Hindu canon consists of a plethora of religious texts ranging from chants, incantations, spells, folklore and hymns, to priestly ritual instruction, stories and fables. Thousands of volumes thick, the Hindu canon can be broken simply into two major divisions: the Shruti (canonical writings) or the Smriti (popular writings). The Shruti is characteristic of the priestly caste and means “what is heard” as these writings are believed to have no human author. They are thought to be the sounds of the cosmo’s written down by chosen seers. The concept, really, is not far from Christian theology in which scripture is revealed to holy prophets who are then instructed to record it. In fact, the more I learn about the faith, the more I see similarities to my own. I suppose that’s the greatest truth a traveler can bring home from his or her travels: that in the end, we are more similar than we are different. For more information on Hinduism in Utah visit www.sghtu.org or utahkrishnas.org. You can also visit the India Fest on September 22rd, 2012 at 5 P.M. at the Spanish Fork Hare Krishna Temple where you can eat Indian food, watch a reenactment of the famous play Ramayana and watch fireworks. ▀

Photos Courtesy of Taylor Ottesen

In an effort to provide opportunity for appreciation of faith in its many forms, a monthly article will be published highlighting a specific world faith. If you are a member of one of these less represented faiths, particularly non-Christian faiths, we would like to encourage you to contact the editor to aid in the representation of your faith to ensure the greatest amount of accuracy in its portrayal.

Glam Rock For Beginners Written by Andy Andersen

he sexual revolution of the early 1970s is sinking further and further into the ether of kitschy 21st century pop-culture representation. As this happens, perhaps the most serialized, and in turn least accurately remembered component of early 1970s counterculture, is the Glam Rock movement. Though pioneered by a fairly diverse group of art rock dignitaries that made their break in the 1960s, Glam is more often remembered for later contributors that broke the genre with less attention to the music and more attention to the glitter. It’s the music of the era, however, that stands the test of time as a groundbreaking moment in rock history and a bridge between the death of the 1960s and the birth of punk. The best place to start in the Glam canon is David Bowie’s seminal album The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars. While Bowie’s career has spanned multiple decades and musical incarnations, it was his alter-ego Ziggy Stardust, and the album through which he was introduced to the world, that embodied the most elements of Glam. In Ziggy, listeners will find a retro-space-age landscape, a following to inhabit it and a soundscape chalk-full of sentiment and pop-avante-garde danger. Bowie himself was the most concrete connection with the music of glam and the sexual revolution of the time

when he openly claimed his bisexuality. An even more important and enduring product of the connection between the socio-political and pop-cultural worlds that Bowie inhabited onstage (especially when garbed in make-up and leotards) was the clouding of barriers between masculinity and femininity (a key component in the post-modern man as portrayed in current pop-cultural interpretations). While Bowie’s contribution to Glam rock remains the center of the glam solar system, it might be wise to delve into the best albums of other artists of the era before moving through the rest of Bowie’s early-to-mid 1970s discography. Lou Reed’s Transformer is arguably the most versatile and timeless album of the era, incorporating the most vaudevillian elements of Bowie’s sound (Bowie himself produced the album) with Reed’s own iconic doowop sensibilities he developed during his time as frontman of the Velvet Underground. Transformer also draws upon Reed’s time under the tutorship of Andy Warhol for lyrical and thematic inspiration (the album’s hit single Walk on the Wild Side features a number of characters from Andy Warhol’s “silver factory”), reflecting the pseudo-sexual anarchy of the Warhol scene, as well as the heaviness of Reed’s own brand of Glam. Though much of their music is ultimately hit-or-miss, British art-

school band Roxy Music’s self-titled debut is a must for Glam investigators. Brian Eno’s first post-Roxy solo venture, Here Come the Warm Jets, deserves due attention as an essential classic. And in terms of overarching influence, no one among the ranks of Glam royalty deserves more recognition than T. Rex. Glam’s most essential roots are in the persona of the band’s frontman Marc Bolan, a direct influence on contemporaries like Bowie and Roxy Music’s Bryan Ferry on the eve of their breakout moments in the genre. Bolan and T. Rex ended up fading away into obscurity as Glam broke and smarter progenitors jumped ship, but Bolan’s legacy as the founding father of Glam rock stands as one of the most important and influential movements in modern music. ▀

Provo Music Scene Local Music Royalty Makes Return Trip Written by Andy Andersen

Photo credit: eyeslipseyes.com & paste.com

he American indie zeitgeist has smiled favorably upon the Provo music scene in recent years. Several bands birthed in the old Mormon college town are on the receiving end of solid record deals and increasing notoriety. It’s these bands that are always welcomed with open arms by enthusiastic local crowds when they make return appearances to Provo. On September 6, Provo-born disco-punk band Eyes Lips Eyes played just such a show at Velour, drawing a willing local crowd with the weight of their local fame. Eyes Lips Eyes delivered an accessible indie-pop set with the good vibes, tight musicianship and polished stage-presence that the Provo crowd feels at home with. Frontman Tony Hello’s warm minstrel-like antics were well suited to the audience eager to join in on the merriment held down to a groove science by Bassist Aaron Hatch’s tight rhythms and the party precision of Thomas Carroll’s drumming. The most intriguing element of Eyes Lips Eyes’ sound is the tinkering of guitarist Spencer Petersen. It’s unfortunate, however, that Petersen’s most interesting riffs are showcased ever so briefly, only

to recede quickly into the safety of the band’s funk simplicity. There are moments of genuine post-punk danger amid the Eyes Lips Eyes disco party, but in the end the party stifles the art and what remains is a sanitized sound accessible enough to bank on the complacency of a Provo crowd. One thing Eyes Lips Eyes will undoubtedly have in common with other bands to come out of Provo is appraisal for not taking themselves “too seriously.” It is this fear of artistic pretensions that has created such a strong demand for a safe, neutered live music experience. At this point in the development of the local music scene, a Provo band who isn’t afraid to take their music and performance seriously enough to bring struggle and chaos into the mix would be a welcome change of pace. ▀

10 Written By BRONWYN BENT

s BYU students disperse for the summer on their way to internships where they learn they’re in the completely wrong major and summer jobs in over-air conditioned warehouses and dentist offices, President Samuelson does a few things of his own in order to take advantage of the summer months. According to his secretary, Samuelson “writes talks and stuff.” This was verified by Spokeswoman Carri Jenkins who pointed out that the school’s president has a number of speaking obligations during the summer. “But what he really loves to do,” she explained, “is to spend time with his family.” With five children and 12 grandchildren, President Samuelson enjoys most of all taking time out of his busy schedule during July in order to spend time with the family. When asked if he has any specific hobbies, or perhaps secret waterskiing skills, Jenkins just laughed and suggested, “You know, he just really likes to do whatever the family is doing.”

Summe

Oh What do you do In The

11 thestudentreview.org

ertime

President Samuelson?

Photo Credit: The U.s. National Archives

The Great and Spacious Buildings By Allie Rae Treharne

The Village South of Campus is a five-story complex boasting 236 units total. Each unit features four private bedrooms, two bathrooms, a kitchen with granite counter tops and a private laundry room. The Village, or “Chillage,” as it’s called, also provides elevators, a wireless study lounge, an indoor pool, hot tub and various restaurants in the courtyard directly accessible to tenants. Given such luxury when juxtaposed with the slumlord-ridden neighborhoods that characterize much of the area south of campus, it is no surprise that the Village has earned the humorous nickname among many BYU students “the great and spacious building.” With the construction of this new complex as well as “the Isles” located next to Brick Oven, over 1,000 new rooms were opened up to students this fall, forcing many student housing facilities to either lower rent or make upgrades in order to compete. The office manager for Cinnamon Tree, a housing complex north of campus with

Skipper Steve:

Provo Sailor and Community-Builder Written By Miya Kodama

Photo Credit: MIYA KODAMA

prices ranging between $280 and $335 during the fall and winter, admitted that this year they have considerably more vacancies than in the past, attributing it to the recent housing developments. “A few really new complexes…caught a lot of attention [this fall], and that hit us pretty hard,” *Makayla said. Alpine Village, another housing complex, admitted to similar difficulties. In fact, Alpine dropped their monthly rent $10, heavily increased their advertising and are planning new developments so as not to get left behind in the arms race to be the new place to live. “We have plans to add amenities, extend the club house and maybe add a hot tub,” *Marissa said, an office worker from Alpine. Centennial, another student housing complex, made similar efforts over the summer as they lowered their rent and increased marketing. Other BYU student housing complexes such as Branbury, Raintree, King Henry and Carriage Cove all admitted to having anticipated the competition this year and having taken a little longer to fill up than in years past. “I think we destroyed the competition,” Alex McDonell said, an office manager at the Village, in reference to other student housing in Provo. “I feel that living somewhere that has these sorts of resources creates a better environment for learning; it’s needed.”

Photo Credit: Sarah Kay Brimhall

Alex believes it will be years before the “brand new” appeal of the Village will fade, and that in the meantime it will remain the ideal place for Provo students to live. ▀ *In both cases, only the first name

ot that I’d recommend it, but with sailing in mind, the colleges I applied to were determined by their proximity to an ocean. Although Provo is at least 700 miles from the nearest point of the Pacific, I was assuaged—and surprised—to stumble upon the BYU Sailing Club online. I emailed the leader, a ‘Skipper Steve’, only to find the club was defunct. He was nice enough, however, to set up a private sailing lesson once I got to Provo and later helped me get into his sailing class. Skipper Steve (that’s really what everyone calls him) is a bundle of stereotypes, including nautical charm, a jolly laugh and a Tom Selleck mustache. All of these, combined with his carefully-honed skills as a sailor, combine to make him a stalwart of sea culture even in a desert. “Sailing is an uphill battle here,” Skipper Steve told me over lunch two years after our initial meeting. “From day one when we started the BYU Sailing Club in 1999 until it was discontinued against our will, it’s always been an uphill battle.” After BYU Sailing was shut down for alleged safety reasons by BYUSA, the club found a home with the College of Engineering. Not only were the fundamentals taught, but races and overnight trips were organized and executed. During the entirety of the club’s existence, there were no accidents or injuries.

Despite the club’s success, the “beginning of the end,” as Skipper put it, started in 2010 when BYUSA enforced a re-chartering of all existing clubs, which were then reviewed by the university’s Risk Management department. According to him, “either there really was danger perceived by Risk Management, or [they] were simply used as a scapegoat by BYUSA.” At its core, Skipper tends to see it as a battle against “land people.” Here in Utah, Skipper has had to “defend the concept of sailing to the very people in power who have no clue whatsoever what sailing is about.” Despite this setback, however, Skipper Steve wasted little time mourning. Just this past April, the new Utah Lake Yacht Club held its first opening social. While the leadership and design of the club is essentially the same as its predecessor, ULYC has no affiliation with any entity, except for Utah Lake State Park. The disaffiliation allows anyone to join, including UVU students or boat owners already at Utah Lake. Since the social, the club has met every Tuesday afternoon out on the lake with Jim Daniels, Skipper’s right-hand man and dedicated volunteer instructor. In regard to the creation of ULYC, Skipper muses that “sometimes your worst enemies do you the best favors.”

Parking Enforcement Puts a Boot on your tire and a hole in your pocket By John Uland

ith 14,000 residents packed into an area less than a square mile, parking can get tricky in the area south of campus in the neighborhood known as Joaquin. As a result, University Parking Enforcement (UPE) keeps busy with students often literally paying the price. “I would guess that 75 percent of our clientele is related in some way to student housing and overflow,” President Michael Lamont said. Lamont stated that penalty fines are $50 for a boot and $145 for towing a car, plus a $30 administrative fee. There is also a $25 per night holding fee if your car is impounded for longer than a day. However, UPE signs posted throughout the area display fees ranging from $100 to $150, with overnight fees ranging from $15 to $25. Some signs mention the administrative fees, others do not. Poorly marked signs contribute to the number of the parking infractions around the BYU community. In addition, chipped curbs, graffiti over signs and outdated postings leave drivers wondering if it’s okay to park or not. The responsibility to repair these notifications falls upon the parking enforcement companies, private property owners or the City of Provo. Rumors that patrolers receive a cut of every job are true. “[The] amount is dependent on the service provided, shift worked, amount of time with the company, and equipment used,” Lamont said. Commission rates are as high as 40 percent at some companies.

Skipper likes to recall for me how he first really got into sailing. It was post BYU graduation, and he and his “adventurous” father chartered a 26-foot boat for a week in the San Juan islands. He described their first day at sea and how they felt themselves at the mercy of 40 mph winds. At one point his dad thought they were going to die. “It was crazy; it was great,” Skipper said with a laugh only afforded by hindsight. By the end of that week, he was hooked for life. “My dad was always saying, ‘Let’s go do something! Seize the day!’” So when Skipper, after searching for some time for a boat of his own, saw one for sale with Carpe Diem written on her side, he knew he had found the one. It was “a little homage to my dad for getting me into sailing.” I asked Skipper why he has invested so much in nurturing a sailing community here in landlocked Provo. He told me he sees sailing as a metaphor for life; it’s more than a form of recreation. “[Sailing] is the adventure of getting on a boat and using just the wind and the tools on the boat. You have to be sensitive to your environment and find a way to keep on moving.”

For those who feel the fine is undeserved, there is a process by which you can appeal the penalty through the UPE website. The process requires the defendant to submit a detailed report of the incident explaining why he or she does not deserve the penalty assigned. But that doesn’t guarantee that the penalty will be lifted. There is no way to personally review an infraction with the company. Provo and Orem have laws to fight against “predatory parking” in their communities. Under Provo Administrative Code R909, every tow job must be reported to the police dispatch, so no one thinks their car was stolen. Furthermore, if a driver returns to his or her vehicle before it is “mechanically attached” to the tow truck, the driver cannot be fined. If the driver reaches the car after it is mechanically attached to the tow truck but before it leaves, he or she cannot be fined more than half of the full penalty. Towing receipts are also required to contain specific information. If any of the information is not provided or inaccurate, the fine must be voided. ▀ Next month: How have you gotten out of a parking fine? Send your response to thestudentreview2@gmail.com

Photo Credit: Sarah Kay Brimhall

Whether he’s fully aware of it or not, Skipper Steve’s passion for sailing and ULYC has provided a new tool for building and reinforcing the Provo community. As my urban planning professor often notes, there is a “poverty of community” in this area. While many attend school, work and church, there is still a deep lack of overlap among these various groups. The ULYC is one group that addresses that divide by acting as a bridge between social and age groups. Sure, the winds might blow a bit stronger in, say, Salt Lake City, but Provo residents aren’t any less passionate or capable. All we have to do is look a little more carefully and think a little more creatively. ▀

Interested in sailing? Email:SkipperSteve@byu.edu.

Photo Credit: MIYA KODAMA

ABUSIVE

Ho w

T o

R e c o g ni z e

RELA An d

W h a t

T o

a n

W h e n

Yo u

S e e

O n e

Written By Victoria BirkBeck

ne in four women and one in seven men reported having been physically assaulted by an intimate partner in their lifetime, according to the 2010 National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence survey. The same survey estimated that in Utah alone, 355,000 women and 187,000 men had experienced rape, physical violence and/or stalking by an intimate partner. As far as Provo and BYU specifically, LaNae Valentine, the director of Women’s Services, reported that in the last year she received between six and seven reports of abusive relationships. Though, she added, “People don’t come forward and talk about it very often; I think it happens more than is reported.” BYU Police’s Arnold Lemmon said that in the last two years they have issued two arrests due to domestic violence.

Defining abuse Often, Valentine said, a lot of people allow themselves to be in abusive relationships because they don’t necessarily connect what they are experiencing with that description. “The most easily identified kind [of abusive relationship] is a physically abusive relationship…because people have bruises and physical symptoms,” she said. “The others are more difficult to see, and sometimes people don’t even know they’re in an abusive relationship because it’s sort of gradually evolved.” However, other types of abuse can be just as psychologically damaging. These include: 1. Verbal Abuse: A partner puts down the other, calls them names, or is excessively critical. 2. Psychological/Emotional Abuse: An intimate partner acts manipulative, threatening to harm his or her partner, themselves, or other loved ones in order to exert control. It is often characterized by excessive jealousy and control. 3. Sexual abuse: Any touching or sexual acts done against the other partner’s will. Generally speaking, abusive relationships include a situation in which a person feels humiliated, controlled or afraid of their romantic partner. Defining the precise things that make a relationship abusive can only be done by the individual. “When does it really cross the line? When does it get to the point where we say I won’t tolerate that?” Valentine wondered out loud during our interview. “I think we all have our different lines, different boundaries maybe.”

In all, she said, “We’d like to see people be more aware and be more willing to say ‘That’s not okay.’”

The Early Warning Signs According to psychologytoday.com, some of the earliest warning signs come in the form of the following behavior: 1. Blames others, especially the person closest to him or her, for problems. 2. Clings to resentment; seems obsessed with his or her “rights.” 3. Seems to feel entitled to everything. 4. Feels superior to everyone around him or her. 5. Seems to get upset over especially petty things. 6. Feels the need to sound smart and witty at all times; employs sarcasm ruthlessly. 7. Exaggerates qualities to a point of dishonesty. 8. Expresses jealousy, even minor jealousy. In all, psychologytoday.com reports that such characteristics, and thus abusive relationships, are on the rise.

Prevent abuse: make yourself clear Valentine said that the first step in ending abuse can simply be making oneself clear. “You have to be very clear with your words and with your behaviors,” she explained. “I know I’ve talked to a lot of women in dating relationships where they don’t want to be mean or hurt the guys feelings so they kind of say it nicely, and guys don’t really believe it because it came across so nice. So you have to be very clear. You don’t have to be mean, you just have to be very firm and clear.” However, if words are not listened to and respected, then action, such as removing oneself quickly from the harmful relationship, should be taken. When it comes to knowing how to help a loved one perceived to be a in an abusive relationship, Valentine stressed the importance of being willing to listen in conjunction with expressing concern and care for the individual. However, Valentine said that ultimately, it has to be the individual in the relationship that decides the next course of action, and that friends should avoid being judgmental. There is an exception, of course, in the case that a loved one appears to be physically abused, friends and family should notify the police. ▀

Where to get help:

esources for BYU students include Women’s Services, located in 3326 WSC, and BYU Counseling and Psychological Services, located at 1500 WSC. Appointments with BYU Counseling and Psychological Services can be made at 801-422-3035 or at caps.byu.edu. Personnel at these locations can listen, connect patients to additional resources, present helpful options and help the individual decide what path is best for him or her. In the event of a dangerous situation or for partners wishing to file a restraining order, University Police can be contacted. Call 911 for emergencies or (801) 422-2222 for non-emergencies. The local Center for Women and Children in Crisis runs a 24-hour Domestic Violence Hotline at 801-377-550, a Rape Crisis Hotline at 801-356-2511 and also offers counseling, shelter for those who need protection and free educational discussion groups that discuss the challenges of dealing with domestic violence or sexual assault. More information can be found at cwcic.org.

Illustration by Hillary Onyon, hillaryonyonillustration.blogspot.com

“We’d like to see people more aware and more willing to say ‘that’s not okay.’”

Deflated Party Goers Protest the Helium Written By Grant Harper

Dearest Reader, This section is called the “Humor” Section. That means

it. And you will look ridiculous.

before writing a feisty letter about one of these articles. We will publish

- Student Review

that many of the articles are satirical, intended for humor, or sarcastically

written. We encourage all of our readers to use their better judgement

ll across America citizens gathered this week to protest the current embargo on the shipping of helium to party stores. The government-owned stockpile of helium in Amarillo, TX is emptying at alarming rates, prompting the swift enactment of the Shortage of Helium Austerity Management Act (SHAM). The act restricts access to helium by voiding all shipments to party stores and balloon makers. The shortage is felt acutely in Lily, AR where protesters gathered outside the local gas storage facility to express their disapproval for the embargo. Carrying signs with slogans such as “Access to cheap helium is a basic human right” and “Obama Hates Parties,” protesters milled about while awaiting a speech by town mayor Jim Bylaw. Protester Randall White said, “It’s crazy talk. They’re telling us that we have a shortage of one of the most common gases in the universe? It’s obviously another pack of government lies.” As with any shortage, the helium crisis has a real human cost. According to the Fox show NOBAMA, Bozo the clown has joined the ranks of the unemployed after the lifeblood of his business has

become unavailable. “I’ve tried using air instead, but kids don’t like my balloons when they fall to the floor,” Bozo said. “In this business, it’s float or fail.” He then added, “It’s just not fair. I’ve worked all my life to make people happy and this is what I get in return.” Bozo is not the only one hit hard by this crisis. Party shops across the U.S. are closing their doors in response to the halt of production of their bestselling item. Best Ever Party Supplies Unlimited owner Ellen Givens relates, “Those balloons were the only thing keeping us in the black. I don’t know what we’re going to do now. Strippers?” Concerned about the drastic economic toll taken on party stores, townships across the nation are lobbying the government for the passage of the Helium Recovery Act. The bill will provide funding for blimps to enter the stratosphere and capture helium before it escapes into space. The bill is currently in committee awaiting the approval of an earmark that would provide additional funding for corn farmers. ▀ Note: helium is also essential in MRIs, chemical lab analysis, and semiconductor processing

Photo Credit: Evan Traveler via flickr

To Bikini or Not Bikini Written By Talmage Spackman

uring the most recent Miss Utah Pageant, a majority of about forty contestants chose to display their curves by wearing two-, rather than one-piece swimsuits. Various spectators were dismayed at the perceived betrayal of modesty and family values common to the Mormon population of Utah, who make up the majority of the state’s residents. Responses ranged from disappointment to fury. Patty Reiser, a resident of Pleasant Grove, said, “I was totally fine with putting women on display and ranking them according to their various talents, personality traits and body types when we couldn’t see their stomachs. But now it’s just gone too far.” Another respondent, a male college student who asked not to be identified, said, “I’m outraged. I’m really upset. I will definitely be

back next year to make sure something like this doesn’t happen again.” One respondent was so upset that when asked for a response, she unleashed a terrible howl, shed a single tear and sprinted toward the forest. Pageant officials, well aware of the negative response, are considering changing the rules for next year’s competition. “We’re thinking instead of a swimsuit contest, we would have the women dress up in pant suits and see who looks the sexiest answering the phone and taking memos,” they said. “We thought it would show that we support the modern woman, without offending the majority of those who attend the pageant.” Though no one can say what next year’s pagent will look like, one thing is for certain; the women of Utah are representing their state well. ▀

17 Comedic Review For more visit mimeintheforest.com or crustaceansingles.com. A special thanks to the authors, Jon Uland and Andrew Livingston.

Research suggests “Mormon-ness” is something you can see Written By Corey Landon Wozniak

here is a pervasive belief in Mormon culture that Mormon-ness, often described as a “glow,” is actually an observable characteristic. Though often taken figuratively, a recent study suggests that there might be something to it. Nicholas Rule, assistant professor at the University of Toronto, has participated in a number of studies about the judgments

Christ of Latter-day Saints or membership in another non-Mormon religious organization. Only headshots were shown and the faces had no adornments. What they found was both Mormon and non-Mormon subjects were able to identify who was a Mormon more often than would occur by chance. Rule and his colleagues then tried to isolate which specific facial feature was be-

what will have a glow upon their countenances; and that is what makes you and me young; for the Spirit of God is with us and within us.” Elder Parley P. Pratt spoke similarly of the beautifying physical effect of having the gift of the Holy Ghost. “The gift of the Holy Ghost [...] develops beauty of person, form, and features,” Pratt wrote.” It invigorates all the faculties of the

the lease had been signed, one of our friends insightfully remarked, ‘Oh, we know that you are not going to proselyte, but what are you going to do about the light that is in their eyes?’ He was referring to our students who were studying in Jerusalem.” In effect, Mormon leaders (both past and present) have suggested that members of the faith look different because of the effect that

Non-Mormon

Mormon

Non-Mormon

people make based on appearances. When he heard from a graduate student about the selfproclaimed ability of Mormons to physically recognize other Mormons, he was skeptical. He decided to put the claims to test. What he found was surprising. “We didn’t think it would work,” Rule, who this fall became an assistant professor at the University of Toronto, explained to the school’s paper, Tufts Journal. “Looking at two groups of faces—Mormon and non-Mormon— nothing popped out and seemed obviously different. We were really surprised when we saw that people could tell who belonged to each group.” The same article, titled “Spotting the Faithful,” summarizes the details of the study and its results: Rule and his colleagues obtained images of Mormon and non-Mormon men and women from online personal advertisements posted in various major cities across the United States. Search criteria were restricted to individuals 18 to 30 years old who specifically indicated either membership in the Church of Jesus

traying Mormons the most. In the end, it proved difficult to determine. “Even when the researchers removed important features, such as the [hair, shape of the face, nose,] eyes or mouth, the subjects were [still] able to identify Mormons more often than would occur by chance.” Befuddled, they determined that Mormon-ness must be displayed in skin texture. By testing this hypothesis through statistical modeling, they found that skin texture indeed was the crucial variable in Mormon’s ability to recognize one another. Why might Mormons have a different skintexture than others? Rule hypothesizes that Mormon’s strict code of health, the Word of Wisdom, may be “reliably communicated” through their skin. Unaided by such research, statements from Mormon leaders would explain this phenomena a different way. Brigham Young reportedly said, “‘Mormonism’ keeps men and women young and handsome; and when they are full of the Spirit of God, there are none of them but

physical [...] man. In short, it is, as it were, marrow to the bone, joy to the heart, light to the eyes, music to the ears, and life to the whole being.” More recently, Elder James E. Faust gave a talk called “The Light In Their Eyes.” In this talk he told the following fascinating story: “I recently recalled a historic meeting in Jerusalem about 17 years ago. It was regarding the lease for the land on which the Brigham Young University’s Jerusalem Center for Near Eastern Studies was later built. Before this lease could be signed, President Ezra Taft Benson and Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, then president of Brigham Young University, agreed with the Israeli government on behalf of the Church and the university not to proselyte in Israel. You might wonder why we agreed not to proselyte. We were required to do so in order to get the building permit to build that magnificent building which stands in the historic city of Jerusalem. To our knowledge the Church and BYU have scrupulously and honorably kept that nonproselyting commitment. After

God’s spirit has upon them. They believe that His godliness “rubs off” on them as they have experiences with God and as they become more like him Then again, if Young suggests that Mormonism makes men and women young and handsome, does any evidence exists that Mormons are more beautiful than non-Mormons? Brigham Young University, a private Mormon university, has been recognized on collegeprowler.com as having the “hottest students in the nation.” (It should be recognized, however, that the rankings done on collegeprowler.com were determined by surveys provided by the students attending the ranked universities themselves. This ranking, therefore, could really be a reflection of Mormon wishful-thinking rather than objective commentary on their beauty.) Another silly indicator of Mormon beauty can be discovered by typing in the wordsW “why are” into a Google search and wait-m ing for Google predictive search to suggestc the most popular searches beginning withc

Blast from the past: comparing 1996’s football to today’s Written By Harper Anderson Student Review in conjunction with sport anxiety these words. They are these: 1. Why are manhole covers round 2. why are mormons so nice 3. why are mormons so hot 4. why are flamingos pink? That’s right—more curious to Google-ers than the mysterious pinkness of flamingos (but less curious than the shape of manhole covers?) is the niceness and hot-ness of Mormons. But not all people have recognized the

Non-Mormon

unique beauty that comes to Mormons through Mormonism. On a tour to Salt Lake City, Mark Twain satirically justified the moral propriety of polygamy with a tonguein-cheek insult towards Mormon women. “[I had a desire to reform polygamy] until I saw the Mormon women. Then I was touched. My heart was wiser than my head. It warmed toward these poor, ungainly and pathetically ‘homely’ creatures, and as I turned to hide the generous moisture in my eyes, I said, ‘No—the man that marries one of them has done an act of Christian charity which entitles him to the kindly applause of mankind, not their harsh censure—and the man that marries sixty of them has done a deed of open-handed generosity so sublime that the nations should stand uncovered in his presence and worship in silence.” ▀

What do you think? Do you believe in the Mormon ‘glow’? To answer, go to thestudentreview. com and leave a comment in this article’s comment section.

Photo Credit: The U.s. National Archives

t can be safely said that anyone who loves BYU football hopes this season mimics the beloved 1996 season. Let’s compare: First and foremost there is the Riley Nelson to Steve Sarkisian comparison. They both first got their start as a BYU quarterback in their junior year. They *both won seven games their junior year as a starter. Sarkisian threw 20 touchdowns his junior year; Nelson

Regarding Anash, coach Brady poppinga repeatedly says he could be in the NFL already if he only knew the game a little better.” threw 19. And most importantly, both have the insuppressible will to win. Next are the squads as a whole. Each opened their senior year with a victory over a **BCS school. It didn’t take more than two weeks for either team to be ranked in the top 25. The defense has been particularly dominant so far this season, level of competition notwithstanding. 1996’s team finished the season first in the WAC in total yards allowed per game (316) and rushing

yards allowed per game (125). Thus far 2012’s defense has allowed 55 rushing ypg, and 184 passing ypg. The 1996 team had a dominant linebacker crew led by senior Shay Muirbrook and a blossoming Rob Morris. This is now mirrored by senior Brandon Ogletree with an even potentially better supporting cast in Kyle Van Noy, Spencer Hadley and physical phenomenon Ezekial Anash. Regarding Anash, coach Brady Poppinga repeatedly says he could be in the NFL already if he only knew the game a little better. Ultimately, however, BYU’s talent level has increased tenfold. We have never seen receivers quite like the Cody Hoffman and Ross Apo duo. All things considered, we’d be lucky to see a reminiscent season for our 2012 cougars to that of the 1996 team (that is, minus the Washington game). ▀

*Nelson didn’t play a full season like Sarkisian, but both won seven games. **The BCS wasn’t around then, but you get the idea. Not to mention the Big XII was one of the toughest conferences in the 90’s (still is), and Texas A&M opened the season in the top 25.