Stl Sinner Dec 2012

Dec - 2012

SATAN CLAWS

NORTH POLE RAIDED

Amazing Curves Photography

STEPPING OUT & FALLING DOWN In order to fall, you must first step. It’s easy to sit on your ass your whole life, clocking in and out at some shit job, worrying only about a layoff or walking in on your spouse in bed with some tanned lover. At worst, you may toddle a bit, but never truly fall. In case you’re confused, I’m not talking about stepping from your bed, to your car, to that shit job and back home to find the spouse in bed with a lover either. I’m talking about taking that big step in life, that leap of faith into the unknown, where far greater fears than layoffs and infidelity lurk in the shadows.

For most of us, the thought of daring to take that giant leap is too often intimidating. It can feel like a two-headed beast bearing blood stained teeth and razor sharp claws awaits us at every dream we dare dream. For myself and the wife it was that leap into indy publishing ten years ago with nothing more than a dream and a handful of dollars. Then it was leaping from the Left Coast to Misery dreaming the same dangerous dream, with even stranger fears, and less than a handful of dollars. And if you don’t think that doesn’t feel like a land of blood thirsty beast on the other side of every American Dream, you’re either a fool or still sitting on your ass in denial while you’re worrying about a layoff and walking in on your spouse in bed with some tanned lover.

The leap is certainly real, as are the beast that await each questionable leap. And with each leap comes the risk of falling down, landing square on your ass, and being consumed by the blood thirsty beast.

Maybe that’s why too many cowards sit on their asses and ridicule every failed leap by those they label dreamers and fools. It’s a lot easier to ridicule from the comfort of your Lazy Boy or Lexus than actually dare to not only dream, but step out and dare fall in public.

Most of us who do dare to dream and leap are certain to fall at least once, maybe even fail altogether.

It’s the nature of the beast that outlives us all. I have fallen too many times as an indy publisher, but have been lucky enough to escape the lethal bite of the beasts who wait for those like myself who fall. That’s also the nature of indy publishing, to fall, if not fail altogether. For most indy publishers, there are no paid staff or interns or sales teams or street teams – or budgets for that matter. Instead, the indy publisher suffers the double and triple shifts of day jobs, a microscopic staff, and a shoestring budget at best. We’re meant to fail from the start, unless luck falls our way – and that it seldom does.

With all the trips and falls I have suffered, and

failed leaps I have witnessed by good folks who had the flesh from their bones and souls ripped to shit by blood thirsty beasts, I can only say a fool – or a madman one – would dare think of taking another leap while in the middle of his or her first one, much less second one. Maybe I’m a bit of both now, a fool and madman. But that’s the beauty of having the balls or madness one to leap at a rare opportunity. Some of us are either compelled to leap again or run away with our tail between our legs. And that’s the act of a madman or fool one. There’s no other excuse for either of those actions.

For those of us who are truly mad or foolish, we have no control over our leaps, like the silly kitten who chases the fake mouse on a plastic pole. I guess the wife and I fall into those categories. Then again, maybe it’s nothing more than a madman marrying a mad woman. Maybe it’s the Doctor Frankenstein/Monster syndrome yet to be clinically classified by brilliant minds that escapes the medication I need to make me sit and obey the “norm” of society. Whatever the case or reason, if you ever dare taking on two dreams at once, you probably need to be prescribed medications or be institutionalized one. And that’s what we did, and the reason there wasn’t an issue of The St. Louis Sinner in November.

GETTING UP & FALLING BEHIND A madman wouldn’t apologize for such relentless actions, but perhaps a mad publisher would. I guess that’s me, the mad publisher. For not once, but twice, I found an opportunity to dream again. But that dream came at a high cost, as most dreams do. This one cost us an entire issue, one that I doubt will make it to you on our third print reschedule. That’s what it feels like when you step out, find the courage or madness to get up again after you fall down, and try once again with nothing more than a leap of faith.

Finding words to describe this madness is a challenge beyond me, one for real fools and big dreamers and real writers. But dreams are for all of us, if you have the balls to not only chase them, but catch them by the neck. It’s not for the weak of heart, as there are real monsters lurking in these shadows, that darkness every dream has yet only few witness or suffer.

If nothing more, I hope these few words, four weeks late, inspire you to get off your ass and dare dream... and not fear the fall...

And that my dear reader is another tale of fear and publishing in misery some four weeks past our print schedule....

WRITERS, RANTERS, OPINIONISTS & OTHER ALL-OUT FREAKS: Mark Taylor-Canfield Saab Lofton Malice Henry Nicolle Colin E Suchland

Kimberly Peters Drew Digital Rajkhet Dirzhud-Rashid Kendra Holliday

Publisher: Chuck Foster Layout: Terri Daniels Cover Art: Amazing Curves Photography

The Sinner is a group of contributing writers. Their opinions, rants and ideas do not necessarily reflect the views of The Sinner itself. The Sinner encourages contributions from its readers but retains the right to edit material due to content or length of submission.

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FOR ADVERTISING OR SUBMISSION INFORMATION, CONTACT US AT CHUCK@THESEATTLESINNER.COM. SUBMISSION DEADLINE IS THE 25TH OF EVERY MONTH.

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The Day After or “Post-Election Fatigue,” My Ass! written by Saab Lofton “The day after John Kerry is elected president I’m reaching for my sign and heading for the streets.” – Terry Rumsey, a peace activist for three decades and the founding Executive Director of Pennsylvania Abolitionists United Against the Death Penalty I first quoted Terry Rumsey back when my award-winning column appeared in The Las Vegas CityLife – before it fell prey to corporate censorship – and what he said still applies. Simply replace John Kerry with Barack Obama, since both of those worthless motherfuckers are, at best, centrists who alternate between mild altruism and hard imperialism.

My mentor, author of the must-read A People’s History of the United States, essentially reiterated Terry Rumsey’s sentiment...

“Obama will not fulfill that potential for change unless he is enveloped by a social movement, which is angry enough, powerful enough, insistent enough, that he fills his abstract phrases about change with some real content.” – Professor Howard Zinn (1922 - 2010) By the time this sees print, either one of three things will be the case ... a) Obama’s overrated, undeserving ass will get his old job back b) Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan will usher in a new era of darkness which will make the Dubya years seem Roddenberryian by comparison c) Jill Stein from the Green Party will beat the odds like Rocky Balboa and win

North St Louis Shady Jack’s 1432 N Broadway Dutch Town Friendly’s 3503 Roger Pl South County Steel & Ink Studio 3561 Ritz Center MOFO The Silver Ballroom 4701 Mofo Rd at Itaska Tin Hat 3157 Mofo Rd South City Shameless Grounds 2650 Sidney The Heavy Anchor 5226 Gravois

Jefferson Ave Bistro 3701 S Jefferson Ave Cherokee District Apop Records 2831 Cherokee St Downtown Crack Fox 1114 Olive St Soulard Shanti Tavern 825 Allen DB’s Sportsbar 1615 S Broadway Laclede Landing Show Me’s 724 N 2nd St Big Daddy’s 118 Morgan St

Affton Bob’s Liquor 9347 Gravois Rd Overland Just Bill’s 2543 Woodson Rd Priscilla’s 10210 Page Ave Central West End 34 Club 34 N Euclid Tom’s Bar & Grill 20 S Euclid The Grove Just John’s 4112 Manchester Ave The Atomic Cowboy 4140 Manchester

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But in the end, it doesN’T matter who gets elected because, as my jedi master also stated...

“The ultimate solution is not with the people on top. The ultimate solution is for people in the streets to create an atmosphere for people on top to be accountable.” – Professor Howard Zinn (1922 - 2010) I’ve said this before, and since I’m still not as famous as I should be, I’ll say it again: Most voters fall into that trap of patting themselves on the back for having voted and then go into suspended animation (like Buck Rogers or Captain America) until the next election.

Well, with all due respect to my predecessors who fought and died for my right to vote, the FACT is, voting is only one of many forms of activism: Strikes, vigils, marches, boycotts, petitions, fundraisers, litigation, and my favorite, propaganda (art, music, filmmaking and literature). All of which are equally worthy.

And I doN’T, do NOT, want to hear a goddamn thang about “post-election fatigue!”

The price of liberty is ETERNAL vigilance, and when you forget history it repeats itself, so consider this your reminder to endure; to get back out there!

Fatigued? Y’all don’t know the meaning of the word! If the most you had to deal with was reading Orwellian headlines, watching negative ad campaigns or being pestered by pollsters/telemarketers, you’re SPOILED! Try being a victim of America’s so-called “foreign policy” in the so-called third world if yo’ ass really wants to know what suffering is all about!

As soon as YOUR wedding is bombed and dismissed as “collateral damage,” let me know!

There’s always some chickenshit excuse to be apathetic. If Obama wins, all too many will assume it’s supposedly the equivalent of a princess being kissed at the end of a fairy tale, so folks won’t protest. If Romney wins, all too many will assume the Human race has supposedly past the point of no return, so folks won’t protest.

Well, as I once said during a speech I gave at Seattle’s Westlake Plaza, everything we take for granted today stems from past struggles: From the eight hour day to environmental regulation to my ability to kiss a white woman in public withOUT getting lynched. Even if you’re so fucking selfish that you’ve no interest in ensuring a better standard of living for THE NEXT GENERATION, protest for your own benefit! From the point of view of our ancestors, we’re ALREADY living in a utopia, so at least be appreciative enough of this to maintain what’s been gained. That way, YOU can continue to enjoy those gains, because all it takes is the stroke of a pen upon the wrong piece of legislation and we’re right back where we began...

“We think we’ve come so far. The torture of heretics, the burning of witches, it’s all ancient history. Then, before you can blink an eye, it suddenly threatens to start all over again.” – Captain Picard, Star Trek: The Next Generation, from the episode, The Drumhead I shouldN’T have to beg y’all to care, but so long as I’m forced to compete with trivia...

“They bury stories of vital importance while spewing endless hours and column inches at the mind-deadening likes of Paris Hilton and Britney Spears. Their excuse is that they ‘give the public what it wants’ and are ‘in business to make a profit.’ But the real profit centers of the corporations that own the CM are not in providing news and information.

General Electric, Westinghouse, Disney and the other media-financial-industrial behemoths have too much to lose from an accurate reporting of the true news of the world.

To protect their core interests, they are bread-and-circus PR/diversion machines, not real news organizations.” – Harvey Wasserman, senior advisor to Greenpeace ...give the public what it wants – how about what it NEEDS?

ESSAY

THE

CAN I R E AM RY A N E C MER RY E N I H MAC by Henry Nicolle

W

e hear of the British Colonies in America's rebellions, the revolution with real bayonets, bullets and bombs . . . the new American States' Declaration of Independence, followed a decade later by the improved foundation of the American Republic under terms and grants described by a Constitution for the United States of America.

The trilogy of Revolution, Declaration and Constitution has been forgotten by the People of America, abandoned by American Society and discarded by American governing institutions, offices and bureaucracies. Little of Liberty remains in our time except for occasional fond and misconstrued recollections of the Great American Experiment.

Scholars and laymen may rise to disagree with my assertions in this essay, but if they deny the Right and Liberty of the individual human or the supremacy of the Individual over Society, they are disqualified of any valid criticism.

Defense of individual, inherent Rights and Liberty ultimately devolves to expressions of violence. Internal conflicts are countered peacefully by civil and criminal proceedings, aided by peacekeepers and law enforcement’s limited counter-violence.

Military powers recognize no limitation. Therefore, the Federal government is prohibited from exercising military powers within the States except to execute the Laws of the Union, organize, arm and train the various State militias, repel invasions and suppress insurrections. Federal powers are to be exercised in the States by the Militias when called forth by the Congress and placed under the temporary command of the President.

The Armies and Navy of the federal government are intended to confront external enemies, not domestic disturbances or common conduct. The Navy has the specific duties of coastal defense, safety of American ships, merchants and Citizens at sea, to punish Piracies and Felonies committed on the high seas and Offenses against the Law of Nations..

American Armies are best defined as mercenary military forces under the direct command of the President and intended to provide immediate response to external exigencies. Armies are not intended to be a force within any State.

Armies of the federal government were considered grave threats to the free Union, the Liberty of our States and of the People of our new, free society. Our peace, security, prosperity and liberty were left unprotected from our federal Army and will of the President except by the provision which limited appropriations for the Armies to the period of two years, the length of a single term in office of a State’s Representatives to the federal Congress.

Today, our Armies under the exclusive command of the President, have become the greatest threats to domestic harmony and world peace that history has ever known. The appropriations limit no longer functions as a deterrent or limit upon the President’s military ambitions. Federal policies and the failures of the Congress and Courts to defend the terms of our federal Constitution from usurpation by the President and Executive Departments have brought upon our soil, and upon the soil of more than 150 foreign Peoples, a violent, mercenary force of conquest.

In reality, our Armies at home and abroad allow themselves to be subject to no law but themselves. Our Armies are two and a half million strong. It is not necessary to be an American to serve in our Armies. Our Army tribunals are currently in protracted effort to eviscerate any presumptions of Constitutional protections of men and women in military custody. Army tribunals offend every tenet of protection of the rights of an accused person regardless of the circumstances surrounding the seizure of the person.

Federal Armies have been used in usurpation of Congressional power by substitution of the Congress’s Militias with the President’s Armies to bypass the checks and balances of power belonging to the People and the States. We have military cooperation agreements for assistance across our Northern and Southern borders to respond to civil disturbance.

We have permanently assigned a full Division of the federal Army to act with military violence within our civilian environment at the pleasure and boldness of the President.

We permit training and live-fire exercises by federal Armies in all of our States, posing as terrorist suppression, hostage rescue and other political scenarios.

The Executive and the Armies are now free of the Congress, Courts, States and People. The Executive has grasped the powers of the Armies and Purse, unfettered and discretionary in practice.

It is not the Congress who have imposed federal powers in the States and into the daily lives of the People, it is the Executive. The Congress and State governments surrendered the sword of the militias necessary to preserve self-governance by the People. There no longer exists any power other than direct intervention by the Free Men and Women of the People's Free Society.

We are So afraid to rule our own lives. So sad. So great the disappointment.

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The Post US Election Blues

Justice Party Presidential candidate Rocky Andersen

N

ow that President Barack Obama has been declared winner of the US presidential election, a sigh of relief has gone out throughout the land among Democrats and many progressives. The media scenario currently being promoted states that Obama is representing the middle class while Republican Mitt Romney is simply a stand-in for Wall Street. (Never mind that the entire election system is completely rigged in favor of the two major political parties.)

Green Party candidate Jill Stein and the Justice Party’s Rocky Anderson were never a factor in the elections despite their gallant efforts to mount national grassroots presidential campaigns. Despite several alternative party debates sponsored by Democracy Now! and RT, the US corporate media largely ignored them. The press also refused to cover Libertarian candidate Gary Johnson. These politicians were all fighting against the first billion dollar election campaign in US history but their supporters were struggling just to get them on the ballot in all 50 states.

Without proportional representation or instant run-off voting systems, the US is left with the antiquated and undemocratic Electoral College to decide who becomes President.

Add to that the unsolved issue of Republican owned computer voting machines and the usual state election board shenanigans, and you can see why the country needs international observers during the elections.

But the good news is that in spite of mass spending on negative campaign ads, the infamous Coche brothers were unable to buy the election for their neo-con Wall Street candidate, Mitt Romney. Their politician’s moralistic rhetoric did not convince the majority of American voters to elect a neo-con ideologue or support conservative initiatives. Instead, Colorado and Washington legalized marijuana, while Maryland and Maine supported gay marriage. All of the efforts to suppress the voters came to naught as the majority chose to re-elect President Obama.

So, now that the election is over, what has really changed?

Will we finally decide to house the homeless and feed the

written by Mark Taylor-Canfield

On Oct. 31, 2012, Dr. Jill Stein was arrested while resupplying the Winnsboro Tree Blockade in Texas, one of many actions opposing the Keystone XL Pipeline.

hungry? Will we stop the foreign military interventions that have bankrupt our nation both morally and economically?

Will the federal and local governments continue to impose economic austerity measures on the people, wiping out the middle class and generating mass poverty? What does President Barack Obama have to say to the folks sleeping on the cold streets? How will his re-election make these people’s lives better?

My one major observation is this - if we really want to change the politics and economics of our country, we’ll have to start with changing the election system. A significant percentage of the citizenry either doesn’t vote at all, or their votes are being ignored because they cast their ballot for an alternative party candidate who has no chance of winning. Many of these people are completely turned off by a system controlled by big money. Many of the Occupy Wall Street activists refused to vote for Barack Obama because of his support for the public bailouts of corporate banks. They also oppose his support for the NDAA, Patriot Act, presidential authorization of assassinations, and the use of drones. They see him as just another military industrial complex warrior.

The great epidemic of apathy that has infected US civics is the natural result of a culture based on crass media consumerism and privatization of public services and spaces.

The multinational corporations are trans global financial entities with no loyalty to their workers or to the communities where they build their factories. Outsourcing of jobs to low paid workers in foreign countries is now the modus operandi for most large companies. President Obama has a lot of work to do if he wants to clean up Wall Street and hold the multinationals accountable. During his first term he seemed to be a hostage to large businesses and their highly paid lobbyists.

After all of the budget cuts to healthcare, social services, public transportation and education, the middle class is fast becoming the new poor. Unemployment, home foreclosures and corruption on Wall Street have all contributed to the current depression, and after numerous public bailouts of private

corporations, the banksters are still playing their deceitful game of monopoly.

President Barack Obama’s acceptance speech on November 6th was full of inspiring rhetoric about equality and opportunity. Unlike his opponent in the campaign, it’s clear that the President understands what it’s like to have to struggle in order to survive economically. Although he may have joined the one percent, that is not where he came from. His story represents the old traditional American Dream of the self-made man or woman pulling themselves up by their own bootstraps and inspiring other folks along the way. By comparison, Mitt Romney often came across as a spoiled rich kid.

Barack Obama is largely a fact based politician. Perhaps he’s too apt to concede his positions on vital issues, but at least he talks to the people as if he understands them. While Romney’s speeches are full of well rehearsed pro-business propaganda and neo-con talking points, Obama has the ability to reach out to the average American and tell their story.

Governor Romney could only reach the Wall Street crowd and their traditional conservative cronies - religious and rightwing extremist groups.

Whatever the outcome of this election, the voters are hoping that Barack Obama will use his second term in office to push for the interests of the 99% instead of for the wealthy and corrupted elite. He now has the chance to prove that he’s a man of the people.

If the President continues to give priority to the interests of JP Morgan/Chase and Goldman/Sachs he will lose his current status as a populist figure in the minds of many Americans. Obama has to prove to the country that he is going to stand up for the little guy against the corporate interests. If he really is a leader of the future, breaking down racial and economic barriers and stereotypes, he must bail out the people this time, not just the banks!

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Disgruntled Retail Workers Speak Out Against the Gluttony and Greed of the Holiday Season

by Colleen Hinton

C

hristmas is upon us. Consumerism at it’s finest. Joy to the world? Sure, unless you’re working retail.

I’ve always found it interesting how, theoretically, the holidays are intended to be a time of love and compassion, gift giving, generosity, peace on earth and good will to all men… And a torturous, humiliating death to anyone who stands in the way of it!

There’s a reason why all those who are unfortunate enough to be scheduled to work a cash register on the biggest shopping day of the year refer to the day after Thanksgiving as “Black Friday.” Sales! Coupons! For a limited time only, once it’s gone, it’s GONE! Can you feel the excitement? We can.

Rather than elation at the fact that they have completed their goal of purchasing that specific toolbox for their hubby at 40% off, belittling comments, demanding tones, commanding instructions, misdirected anger issues all seem to flood the cash register around this time of year. There’s never a bigger cry for help from the retail community as there is on Black Friday.

I recently spoke with a woman who works at a local Wal-Mart. She mentioned that last year, her store opened at 5am for the Big Day. 4:30 in the morning rolled around (she had already been at work for more than an hour, preparing for the masses) and the police were already breaking up a fight among prospective shoppers in front of the building.

Tales of fist-fights among customers and threatened physical abuse to retail workers were the main topic of conversation among fellow sales professionals shortly after the day. It’s highly ironic that these sales folks who the consumers expect to help out with Little Bobby’s Christmas wish-list are the very same people who are treated worse than most misbehaving dogs. Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?

Sheesh.

I’d like to let all of you consumers in on a few little secrets.

First, mistreating the sales associate is going to have the same effect as telling your fast-food representative what a worthless git you think he is for not remembering the extra pickles on your burger. You may not find boogers or footprints on the gifts that you’re looking

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to purchase, but chances are, you may not find the gifts at all. If you approach a person – any person with disrespect, they’re going to treat you with it.

In addition, substance-less complaints (you know who you are, you who fling around that god-forsaken phrase “the customer is always right!”) will more often than not have you snickered at behind your back, rather than resulting in the termination of the employee who refused to serve you after suffering through your verbal abuse. The manager is busy. He doesn’t care, and you’re not scaring anyone into giving you what you want.

This type of consumer/customer interaction can quite literally ruin the holidays for some people. Animal instinct and territorial bloodlust kick in, and grown men beat up elderly women for that last Malibu Barbie sitting on that $1.99 shelf. A woman who has been standing in line for ten minutes calls the cashier “incompetent” because he didn’t ring up the 5 million people ahead of her quickly enough. I had a guy knock a shoe off of a shelf at me once, because he didn’t like the way that I “looked” at him. It’s no wonder that websites such as customerssuck.com exist.

Honestly, who taught these people that this type of behavior is acceptable? Meanwhile, the lowly sales associate is expected to suck it up, as it were, and absorb the brunt of their frustrations. Customer service only goes so far, people.

In closing, Happy Holidays to you and yours, and remember: It truly is the nicest customers who catch most retail employees off-guard. If you want to be remembered as one of the few people who made life a bit more bearable during the holidays (or any other time of year,) all you have to do is be nice. Relearn the rules that you were taught in kindergarten.

Stand in line. Don’t push.

Wait your turn. Play nice with the other kids.

Cookies and monetary tips are also helpful, but most of us only dare to hope that Santa will bring us a “please” or “thank you.”

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StoptheDrugWar.org Feds Unsure What to Do About State Legalization

by David Borden

A Washington Post story by Sari Horwitz reports that federal officials don’t know what they are going to do about marijuana legalization in Colorado and Washington: “I really don’t know what we’re going to do,” said one high-ranking law enforcement official involved in the decision who was not authorized to speak publicly.

Attorney General Eric Holder had ignored a letter signed by all the past DEA chiefs last September urging him to speak out against the ballot initiatives. That may have been a political decision to avoid losing Democratic support in Colorado, the article suggests: “It was a battleground state,” said [another] administration official, who spoke on the condition of anonymity because he was not authorized to talk publicly.

Horwitz’s otherwise good article repeated the same fallacy we have seen crop up in other news reports of late, the idea that states can’t do this because of federal law, a fallacy that I predicted here and have already noted here.

The article states: The most likely outcome will be that the Justice Department will prevent the laws from going into effect by announcing that federal law preempts the state initiatives, which would make marijuana legal for recreational use, law enforcement sources said.

Perhaps it’s just a typo, and I don’t know what the sources told Mr. Horwitz, but no matter what the legal and practical outcome of all of this, it is not the case that DOJ can preempt a state’s law by making an announcement about it. They can ask a court to preempt the laws, and then the court will decide. Significant legal precedent indicates that Congress cannot force states to criminalize conduct they don’t want to criminalize, anymore more than states can force Congress to lift such criminalization – as I’ve pointed out, in 16 years of state medical marijuana laws, no federal prosecutor has ever tried to do so. Maybe they’ll try now, and if so we’ll see what the Supreme Court’s inconsistent conservatives say and what the liberals say. But they’ve had plenty of incentive to go that route already, and for some reason haven’t.

Not that the feds can’t make a fight of things. As the medical marijuana battles show, they have ways to interfere.

They can send vaguely threatening letters, implying without directly stating that state employees would be violating federal law by implementing regulations for marijuana, as US Attorneys in most medical marijuana jurisdictions have done. That could scare the governors, who could seek delays implementing the initiatives, which in turn would have to be addressed in court. The IRS could move against the new businesses, auditing and penalizing them under a tax rule that disallows most expense deductions for illegal enterprises. (The law bizarrely allows dispensaries to deduct the cost of marijuana itself, but not other things like payroll or rent.) They can make it hard for marijuana businesses to maintain relationships with banks. And of course they can raid any marijuana store that they choose to.

But none of that is the same as preempting the laws themselves. And none of it would stop people from possessing marijuana whenever they want, legally under the states’ laws, or in Colorado from growing it. This needs to be repeated as often as possible: Colorado and Washington’s marijuana laws are different from federal marijuana law, but that doesn’t mean they conflict with it; and not every conflict is legally impermissible. If federal law just preempted state law in that way, 18 states would not have medical marijuana today.

Marijuana Legalization Victories Are Already Ripping the Drug War Apart

by Scott Morgan Of all the fascinating reactions I’ve seen to Colorado and Washington’s successful marijuana legalization initiatives, this is by far the most extraordinary.

MEXICO CITY — Mexican President Felipe Calderon says the legalization of marijuana for recreational use in two U.S. states limits that country’s “moral authority” to ask other nations to combat or restrict illegal drug trafficking.Calderon says the legalization of marijuana in Washington and Colorado represents a fundamental change that requires the rethinking of public policy in the entire Western Hemisphere. [Washington Post] One gets the feeling that Mexican leaders have been desperate for any excuse to begin drawing back from the bloody drug war clusterf$%k we’ve sucked them into. After all, it’s pretty damn ridiculous for Mexicans to die in a failed effort to keep marijuana out of the hands of Americans who actually want marijuana.

Imagine that you’re Felipe Calderon, a long-serving and faithful puppet of the American drug war juggernaut, and you look up and see something like this unfolding even as your own people are dying in the streets. To say that we’ve lost our “moral authority” here is an understatement. We never had any to begin with.

Listen closely and you might make out the whispers of the drug war’s dumbfounded defenders as they continue struggling to form a response. The moral authority in American drug policy is being reclaimed bravely by the American people themselves, and the message they’ve sent is now echoing around the world.

North Pole Raided; Abuse Alleged

by Brian A. Boone

S

anta Claus, the self proclaimed Father of Christmas, is fighting off serious allegations of child abuse in what is shaping up to be the legal battle of his lifetime. Christmastown Police criminal investigative units stormed Claus’ remote North Pole ranch.

“We will be filing charges against Mr. Claus for several counts of abuse against children stemming from numerous inappropriate relationships with as many as eight billion boys and girls,” said Christmasland district attorney Dom Sheldon at a press conference. “In our search, we found countless photographs of a visibly aroused Santa with children seated in his lap as well as evidence of Santa attempting to silence his victims by giving them all the toys they could want. There are also reams of correspondence between Mr. Claus and his accusers.”

“Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus, and unfortunately, he is one sick fucking pervert,” Sheldon added.

Free on $3 million bail he paid in Legos, model trains and Bratz dolls, Santa Claus handed out candy canes to the media while vehemently defending his innocence at the Christmastown County Jail.

Santa would never fondle or hurt a child. Santa loves all the children of the world,” Claus said. “There is nothing criminal or inappropriate in what Santa does with children. Santa is just a child at heart.”

Opponents would argue that Claus’ claim to love children is tenuous. Last spring, Claus dangled a baby off the edge of his flying sleigh. More damning is Claus’ $5 million payoff (in toys) to a 12-year-old boy who accused him of sexual misconduct in 1993.

“The case ten years ago has nothing to do with this one,” Claus offered. “The investigators in that case humiliated Santa and subjected Santa to a humiliating investigation that included taking pictures of Santa’s private parts.

The Christmastown Police are horrible scoundrels who will not rest until they destroy Santa.”

“Lies run sprints, but the truth runs marathons. Ho! Ho! Ho! Merrrrrrry Christmas!”

Current perceptions and attitudes toward Claus are a far cry from the do-no-wrong attitude the public bestowed on Santa at his peak. After years of strange behavior and increasing irrelevance, Claus is now generally thought of as a curious freak past his prime. This is best exemplified in the recent British documentary Living With Santa Claus. The man in red is depicted as a crazed, childish oddity who spends millions of dollars on toys, undergoes frequent plastic surgery procedures to make himself appear old and fat and lives in a remote, gated, circuslike paradise at the North Pole with a multitude of elves who serve his every whim. In the film, Claus brushed off his strange affinity for children.

“There’s nothing wrong with children sitting in Santa’s lap. It’s very charming,” he said. “And the children are the ones who always want to sit in my lap. I never ask them.”

Following the first abuse case, Claus has faced an almost endless barrage of legal troubles in the past decade. Highlights of his rap sheet include: price-fixing and insider trading; allegations of sweatshop labor in his elf-staffed toy factories; charges of animal cruelty towards flying reindeer; accusations by the Macy’s department store chain that he was not really Santa Clause; and indecent exposure and drunk and disorderly conduct at a 2001 Cincinnati Bengals game.

Mrs. Clause was not available for comment, but issued a statement in which she categorically denied the charges against her husband and vowed to support him throughout the impending legal ordeal.

She has also been photographed wearing a brand new, $5 million diamond ring.

Anniversary of Seattle WTO Protests

By Mark Taylor-Canfield

Photo by Steve Kaiser

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n the anniversary of the demonstrations in Seattle against the World Trade Organization, folks in the so-called “First” and “Second” world are now experiencing what the anti-corporate globalization activists warned everyone about back in 1999.

North America and Europe are now the targets of economic hit men and their friends in the multinationals.

The agenda first began as an attack on the poorest of the world’s nations, but now even the USA, the UK and other powerful countries are no longer exempt from global economic austerity measures.

As the corrupt bakers celebrate their good fortune, working folks, students and the middle class continue to suffer from economic hardships, including high unemployment due to outsourcing, and the loss of their right to organize as unions.

In the US, Wisconsin was the first major test case, with Michigan following suit. But many cities, counties and states are now experiencing fiscal emergencies resulting in draconian cuts to social programs supporting health, education, environmental protection and transportation.

In the great rush to privatize every possible government service, the corporations are gaining massive rewards while local governments continue to risk widespread bankruptcy and financial ruin.

No, I am not talking about the conditions of the Great Depression during the 1930’s. I am actually referring to current economic conditions in the US in the wake of the devastating 2008 economic crash.

The Occupy Wall Street protesters put it best in their popular chant: “The banks got bailed out – We got sold out!”

In any case, the dire predictions of the anti-WTO demonstrators in Seattle have now come true in many ways. On November 30th 1999 the Battle of Seattle began to rage, and since that time global corporatization has resulted in widespread poverty and economic upheaval for the majority of the planet’s population. With local jobs moving overseas, labor unions have been forced to give up many of their hard won benefits. The backbone of the unions has been broken many times by restrictive contracts, anti-union labor laws and a leadership that is quick to co-operate with politicians and big business.

Neo-cons have almost been successful in stopping any new funding of government programs for the poor or the establishment of any tax reforms for the rich. Although the average American realizes they have been screwed, they feel powerless to change the economic and political conditions which are quickly eliminating the middle class.

On Black Friday there were 1,000 protests, pickets and rallies at Walmart stores in the US. Occupy Wall Street activists joined the picket lines to protest working conditions. The backlash to crass corporate commercialism has begun to sweep across the globe from Argentina to China.

The “American Dream” is simply not sustainable either in the US or anywhere else on the planet.

Workers have been staging national strikes in Greece and Spain. Corporate hospital workers took to the streets in San Francisco during the last week of November and ILWU clerks closed the Port of Los Angeles on November 28.

So, as I enjoy my intense flashbacks to 1999 and the protests against the World Trade Organization in Seattle, I must admit that the warnings of the activists were very accurate. Today we are living in the world that they feared might come to pass following GATT, NAFTA, Free Trade of the Americas treaty and all of the other neo-liberal agreements that have caused the proverbial “sucking sound” that Ross Perot foretold.

I wrote a letter to the editor of the Seattle Times before the 1999 protests appealing to both police and demonstrators to keep things peaceful. I was worried that a potential confrontation might take place during the WTO ministerial conference, and unfortunately, that is exactly what happened. After the WTO delegates and plutocrats held their expensive party, the city was left holding the bag for millions of dollars in extra security costs, etc.

As we pass yet another anniversary of the historic demonstrations in Seattle, we must remind ourselves that corporate globalization has only worked for the one percent. As Wall Street banksters continued to count the money accumulating in their Swiss bank accounts, Occupy Wall Street activists have took on the role of the Red Cross and FEMA in New York where Sandy left the infrastructure devastated and the government and power companies ignored the suffering of hundreds of thousands of people on Long Island and elsewhere throughout the state.

No one can tell yet how the cards will play out, but it’s pretty clear that global economic austerity measures will continue to be on the agenda of most international financiers and political leaders. The wealthy and elite interests across the planet are still willing to squeeze as much as they can out of the poor and middle class, despite the growing number of protests and strikes.

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So I thought I’d sit them down for a few and shake a few answers about their band out of them...

So give me a brief history of the band....

CB - This band started in 2009. I was living next door to Mike Benker from the Conformists, and started playing with him on drums while he was dabbling at learning to play. He liked the stuff I was coming up with and sorted out a great drummer to start a band with me. That was Andrew Gowran (played in a ton of STL bands, currently with Little Big Bangs). Mike Benker then immediately booked us for a show right after we started and we had 4 days to write a short set. Two of those songs are still staple Shut In songs.

The band has gone through several lineup changes since that time, we had Joe Hess (Spelling Bee) on bass, Dan Ruder (Joe Buck) on drums for an interim period, Matt Kelly on drums after that, before settling down into our current lineup with Joshewa Boyer (Virginia Reel) on bass and Matt Winkeler (Nov 17th) on drums. JB - This band had already been established way before I started. Originally, I just planned to play bass. Pretty soon, though, Chris and I realized that we actually wrote music together really well, and I started singing and writing songs. Jury is still out on whether that was a good idea or not.

F

inding any info about Shut In online is a challenge, if you’ve even heard of them in the first place. They’re a band that lacks the glam and promo of many local rock bands, very reminiscent of 90’s garage bands. This local trio has been around for three years, but have been heavily overlooked by the local media. But attention isn’t their thing. Their niche is loud music, gritty rock-n-roll with a lot of attitude. I caught them a few months ago at Lemmon’s – a venue they joke about playing too often – and was blown away by their power on stage and humbleness off stage. They’re some of the most down-to-earth guys you’ll ever meet, a rare treat in the world of rock-n-roll.

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What’s the story behind the name, Shut In? CB - It was originally named as a joke at my roommate at the time, who’s in Yowie and is super-secretive so I won’t mention his name. Since he’s moved out and I now live alone, I’ve taken it on myself to be the band’s resident shut in. I go long stretches without leaving the house.

JB - I wanted to change the name to Shit In. What would you say has been your biggest mistake?

CB - My biggest mistake so far has been starting this band. Now I end up having to leave the house all the

damn time hauling heavy-ass equipment to play shows.

JB - We’ve definitely made the mistake of playing too many shows too fast at the same venue.

Matt - Chris Bacott What’s the wildest band story you can share with our readers?

CB - Don’t ever feed Chris tequila. Ever. No exceptions.

JB - I checked our FB page one day, and noticed a very large notice of recent likes. We had no idea what had happened, so we did some searching and discovered that one of the guys from Acacia Strain had started a side project that he called Shut In. Most of those likes assumed we were that guy. Actually, I think most of them still think that.

Matt - We are categorically boring.

What about local bands, which do you each follow/ catch live?

CB - Personally, I really like Doom Town, Forteana, Popular Mechanics, Thorlock, Kisser, Soma, Tok, Spelling Bee, Little Big Bangs, Heavy Horse, the Conformists, Eternal Virgins, Fumer. I really like finding new bands by just going to a bar knowing nothing about the bands playing there. That’s how I found Heavy Horse, for example.

JB - My favorite local band is the Vivian Girls. Bunnygrunt and Black For A Second are quite up there too.

Matt - Yowie, Skarekrau, Conformists, Forteana etc.

What about favorite venues?

CB - I have loved playing at Off Broadway because that sound system is amazing, while CBGB has always been one of the most fun places to play in the city. Tap Room is also very high on my list, I’ve never had a bad show there.

JB - CBGB for sure. I also really like the Heavy Anchor.

Matt - Not Lemmons

ends and 2013 begins...touring, shows, CD releases, arrests for disorderly conduct?

CB - We are currently working on laying tracks down, hopefully to have some music to put out in early ‘13.

Once that’s done, we’d really like to hit the road for some mini-touring around the Midwest. We’ve been working on building up networks with other bands in surrounding cities, and really hope to get to spread out some in early/mid ‘13.

JB - If we’re lucky, maybe an actual release in late 2013.

Matt - Expect very little from us and there’s a better chance you wont be disappointed.

Any last thoughts to share with our readers, or breaking Shut In news?

JB - Don’t feed Chris tequila, ever.

Matt - No. see number 4.

How can readers find out more about Shut In, or purchase merch?

CB - We don’t have a huge web presence yet, right now just our Facebook page (www.facebook.com/shutinstl) which is where we post all upcoming shows we have, and if you’re interested in picking up a tshirt send us a message there. Once we have tracks complete we’ll be announcing it on there.

Matt: Come see us play, you lazy asses!

Last, when and where can St. Louisans catch you guys live again?

We’re looking to book in January at this point. We needed to take a bit of a break from playing shows, but we’ll be back at it next year.

JB - I think we are playing Ye Ole Haunt in mid Jan too.

Matt: Lemmon’s any night of the week

What can readers expect from you guys as 2012

www.facebook.com/seattlesinner * www.facebook.com/saintlouissinner

Vicky and the Vengents photos by Ricky Sherman

H

ailing from Southern California, Vicky and the Vengents are Vicky Tafoya on lead vocals, Matt Beld on guitar, Vinny Malachi on bass, and Dusty Watson on drums.

This out of state foursome ripped the stage up at The Way Out Club last October, leaving those in attendance in awe.

They describe themselves as a “psychedelic Maltshop Punk Rock group with a love for all things dramatic and loud, the girl-groups, guitars, grease and garage are all in the blender.” And let me say, there’s a lot more than that in their blender. These cats rock! Follow them on FB at: www.facebook.com/pages/Vicky-and-The-Vengents for tour dates in 2013...

SVK

Beyond being a close friend of Sheena’s, I’m a bigger fan of SVK. For those not familiar with Sheena Von Killer of SVK, let me say this gal’s insane with a mic in her hand and has some of the best musicians in town as back-ups, like the infamous Al Swacker on bass and Chris Hite on drums. On a sad note for the band, Joey Saturn (pictured left) recently left the band. Saturn is known for his lead in several other acts as well, and is regarded as one of the best guitarists in the city. His pick will be tough to replace...

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Invades The Haunt Reverend Whiskey Richard and the Holy Smokes with Johnny Gunn Sat Nov 24th

S

ince opening its doors last month, Ye OlÊ Haunt has quickly become known for it’s intimate music experience. Having hosted such acts as TOK, Bible Belt Sinners, Cole Adams, The Rat Rod Kings, and Riley James, this new venue in Old North City is worth the 10 minute drive from downtown St. Louis. On the 24th of November locals got a double-dose of fear and fun when INTO2 Energy Drink brought their gals out for a few hours, each body painted (by Art Monster Tattoo) like death. And to top it off, The Haunt had The Reverend Whiskey Richard & The Holy Smokes and Johnny Gun there too! Like them on FB and be sure to check their upcoming acts!

UNMASKED interviewed by Chuck Foster

“When the music starts blaring we just get super into what we love doing. It’s like we’re ridlin kids without our meds.”

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hen Punk emerged into the mainstream arena in the mid 70s with its anarchist lyrics laced with razor-like riffs it took the world by storm. But it wasn’t just about the music. Punk was a way of life that rebelled against the norm of society in appearance, voice and life. It was a scene for poor kids, the scum of the earth, who did whatever it took to play music and scream their disgust and flip their fingers at the powers who held them down.

A lot has changed since then. The pain and suffering and garage living caused by the Powers That Be has quietly vanished, only to be replaced with punk music that reflects teenage breakups and drunken benders. That’s not the case though when it comes to St. Louis’ Benedict Arnold. This local three-piece has seen more than their fair share of pain and suffering, and their music often sticks it in your face. Founding member Jared recalls their first year together in 1993, saying it took a “couple years of living in punk houses, squatting in South City, and even a stint of hopelessness,” to become a very close knit group who were ready to record their first album. Before that could happen though, other founding member Travis Scum was killed in a tragic car accident after leaving a show at the old Creepy Crawl.

Jared said this tragedy was devastating, emotionally and physically. Instead of mourning their friend’s passing for months, Jared and other founding member Mitch picked up the pieces and started jamming less than a week after the wreck. “It was one of those things that if you don’t get right back to doing it, then you’ll never do it again.”, he adds. And that’s what real Punks do, take a tough fucking lick and give back two! And that’s Benedict Arnold in a nutshell.

I sat down with Jared and Mitch last month after their show in Alton to talk about the band and it went something like this...

What’s the story behind the band’s name, Benedict Arnold?

Mitch: When we were still a four piece, in the early days, we all lived in a one bedroom apartment. One day Travis and Dbo were goofing off and Travis stole

Dbo’s hat. As Dbo chased Travis around the apartment he screamed, “Get back here you Benedict Arnold”!

Jared: I remember we all kind of stopped and looked at each other and it was like, “Yes, that’s it”!

We hadn’t known what to call ourselves so why not Benedict Arnold?

You guys are high-energy on stage. What happens to you guys when the music starts?

Jared: When the music starts blaring we just get super into what we love doing. It’s like we’re ridlin kids without our meds. The stage show is never “staged”. We don’t even play with a set list, and haven’t for years. We do that so our performance stays fresh for us and for our fans. Nothing is worse than seeing one of your favorite bands play the same set list every time you see them. So we refuse to do that. All we know is that at some point Ricky is gonna make crazy faces, Mitch is gonna climb/jump off of something, and I’m gonna play guitar on/behind my back. Every stage is different which for us means a whole new playground every time.

What’s touring like for you guys?

Mitch: Touring has been sporadic. We’ve done weekend warrior gigs. We’ve done short 2 week tours, and we just accomplished our longest tour yet with seven weeks on the road. The most fruitus tour so far was a two week east coast tour with the Koffin Kats. We were very lucky and appreciative to share the stage with those guys.. Pure mayhem!

Jared: Yeah, we have been fortunate enough to be playing with the Koffin Kats for the past six years. Good friends, great people, amazing band! To touch on the gear issues that we have sometimes... Our gear takes a beating from stage antics and generally just rocking our fucking asses off. Our bodies take the same beating as well, but our gear falls apart much quicker than we do.

At the show in Alton, you guys gave me a copy of “We’re All In”. You mentioned the album’s diversity between pop punk, old school punk, and hardcore punk. Can you explain that again? And wasn’t there a hidden track on that disc?

Jared: I just think our previous albums have shown our love of different sub genres of punk rock. I feel like the new release will have more overall continuity throughout the entire album. We are just becoming better at formulating “our” sound.

Mitch: As for the cover/secret track, we have always respected our influences like Bad Religion, the Offspring, NOFX, A.F.I., Pennywise, the Descendents, and the rest. Covering one of their songs was just natural.

Ricky: I’m really excited to be recording with the band finally. For the first time. The type of beats I’ve

been playing in these new songs are exactly the kind of stuff I’ve been wanting to play for a long time.

You guys mentioned you were working on a new release, one that was going to be a better production of capturing your punk sound. Can you tell me about that and who’s recording it?

Jared: The songs on the new album just feel more driven. Not a concept album, but all of them flow together very well. And we’re just getting better at writing music. I guess you could say we’re maturing as musicians. Not a “punk” thing to say, but defining ourselves as one specific thing is something that we try to stay away from. As far as who is recording it, we have several different options and we’re keeping them open at this point.

Mitch: I’ve been a vinyl nut for the past few years, and I’ve noticed how important an albums cohesiveness is.

We live in a world of Pandora and iTunes, where the “single” is the focal point. I’m much more excited about writing an album that works as a whole. We might even put this out on vinyl with the help of our record label S.B.S. Records.

What would you say has been your biggest mistake?

Jared: My biggest personal mistake is that I take shit too seriously sometimes. Benedict Arnold is about having a blast rocking out with my brothers, and that has been difficult at times when we’re going through our own personal tragedies. My B.A. brothers are always there for me. And that not only isn’t a mistake, but to this point being in B.A. has produced the most memorable and happy times in my life. The bands biggest mistake?......We haven’t been to that point yet. The biggest mistake would be to throw in the towel after almost a decade of creating crazy memories and amazing friends all over the U.S. Ricky: I really can’t say we’ve made any “mistakes” because every one of our actions has led us to this point that we’re at now. That point being, the band is still rocking, writing music, and touring. Also I don’t make mistakes.

Jared: HAHAHA!!!

What’s the wildest band story you can share with our readers?

Jared: Crazy story?....Fuck!....Where to start and end?

We have a decade of fucked up and awesome stories!

We were homeless together. We used to busk for a living. Crazy punk houses! One time the landlord came over and every single window in the house was busted out! That didn’t end well by the way. Crazy hospital visits in Orlando. To boil it down to one story, even if that’s an on the road story, is way to difficult. That’s a three hour interview in and of itself. Crazy people do crazy things. When in Rome!

What about local bands, which do you each follow/ catch live?

Mitch: The local band scene is awesome! There’s too many bands to name.

Jared: We have followed the St. Louis scene for a long time. That’s where we got our start. There’s been so many awesome bands that have made their mark on St. Louis. Some have stayed some have gone, but I agree with Mitch, way too many to name.

What can readers expect from you guys as 2012 ends and 2013 begins... touring, shows, CD releases, arrests for disorderly conduct?

Mitch: We are definitely going back to Florida. Our fans there are incredible. Our new album will be a step in the right direction. Regional shows are a must. We have a strong Chicago and Detroit fan base and we really want to get back to them.

Jared: Yeah, we have a lot of places to visit, and rock the fuck out. We’re finishing up plans for this next year, and there’s nowhere else to go but up and out.

How can readers find out more about BA, or purchase merch?

Jared: You can always go the Facebook route, but I personally am not a fan of that. Like us on Facebook if you want, but we prefer that you go to our website. www.bapunk.com. We have music, merch, and show dates that you can check out.

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Coffee With Jesus

By Kelly A. Parks

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eing as the holidays are upon us once again I met up with Jesus down at the Paradiso last week. I hadn’t spoken with him in quite some time and I thought now would be as good a time as any to pick his brain on the subject of Christmas and the holiday market. Over a double Hazelnut cappuccino and a couple of chocolate chip cookies we discussed America’s favorite holiday.

Kelly Parks: JC, how’s it going?

Jesus Christ: I’ve been busy as hell lately. I swear if it isn’t one thing it’s another. I’m still trying to get some people to understand that I am the same guy no matter what stupid culturally biased name they give Me. You’d think it wouldn’t be such a big deal, but man, sometimes I feel like just bringing out the old flaming sword and smiting the whole lot of you…oh… sorry man, nothing personal. I just get so frustrated with you talking monkeys sometimes. (Sipping his cappuccino) Sweet Me! Why must anyone serve a coffee at 200 degrees, who can drink that? Man I am telling you it’s [them little things] that’ll keep you out of the Pearlies. Sure I frown on the big ones like murder, rape, and liberalism, but it’s the incessant little ones that really piss Me off. Telemarketers at 8:00am, criminals complaining about their rights, vegetarians, and coffee so hot it gives off visible light. That kinda crap will definitely get you a one-way ticket to the eternal campfire and you can bet your sweet ass that you’ll be singing Kumbayah till the reckoning…

Okay…So, not to change the subject, considering your…flaming sword and all… but lets talk about Christmas in America. How do you feel about the homogenization of your birth and the corporate takeover of your religion’s most sacred days?

Well, first, it’s not MY religion. Lets get that on the record.

It’s bad enough they freaking crucified My ass up on that godforsaken cross but then to go around spreading their deceit and lies in my name. First Paul and then the rest of them damned Romans…you know I go to hell every year just to watch them scream and burn…

What Romans?

Well, it first started with Bishop Telesphorus. Then Clement, down in Alexandria, was partying all year long but it wasn’t until Diocletian and Constantine that they really stuck it to me. Constantine was the one that officially turned Deus Sol Invictus Mithras’ birthday bash into Christ Mass, a bastardization of a sweet bacchanal.

You see I had this sweet gig set up under the guise of Mithras and Shamash and then Constantine came along and screwed everything up. He took My kick ass party and turned it into a drag so he could control his people.

But what did he do behind closed doors? You guessed it, he partied his ass off. Fucker. At least he’s burning in

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Hell tonight. (Shaking his fist at the ground) serves you right pig fucker!

So, you are against Christmas then?

Christmas? Hell no! I love that fat little man with the red suit and drunken-ass reindeer. Santa is my hero.

Granted he’s been dead for a long time and he’s been transformed into a money monster but nevertheless when he was around he kicked it hardcore, hell, he still kicks it hardcore upstairs. When I do it over I’m gonna model my comeback after him. No martyrdom, no crosses, and sure as shit no nails. Man, my wrists still itch from that rookie move.

Listen man, Christmas is about giving. It’s about having a few drinks with your peoples, forgiving the dip shits and getting laid. It’s supposed to be enjoyed to the fullest.

But what about the economic assault on the middle and lower classes, don’t you think that they deserve better?

Them lazy fuckers are living in the land of milk and honey. There ain’t no pharaoh holding them down. Let my people go, shit, go-fucker-go! There’s no reason for poor people in your country. They complain about the Man and expect sympathy from Me. I been telling them for centuries, when the Man gets out of control you gotta rise up! Kick out the moneylenders, overturn their tables, render unto Caesar what is Caesars, render unto Me what is Mine…ad infinitum, ad nauseum. Shit the last Americans to pay any attention to me was that batch of revolutionary mutherfuckers back in the day. Hell, old Tommy Jefferson even went so far as to put my words in some semblance of order. You ever read his gospel?

Uh…No Of course not, look man here’s my point. (Taking a deep breath) You people gotta stop whining over the dumbshit.

You need to realize what you’re doing to yourselves.

Christmas isn’t some vast corporate conspiracy devised by money-grubbing labor lords. It’s the product of what your people have asked for. It’s time to wake up and smell the 200-degree cappuccino. The world is what you make it. To quote one of my favorites, you reap what you sow. That’s it in a nutshell, man. It’s that simple.

You’re probably right…

I’m Jesus H. Christ, of course I’m right. Man, I’m a freaking God. Hey, listen, I gotta run but lets do this again soon. It was good to blow off some steam with you man, just like the good ol’ days.

Yeah alright, thanks a lot and keep in touch.

And with a shake of the hand, off he went to solve who knows what problems the world faces.

www.facebook.com/seattlesinner * www.facebook.com/saintlouissinner

THE ST LOUIS

SINNER Presents

DOOMSDAY 2012 The Last Show You Will Ever See! LIVE MUSIC ART SHOW BURLESQUE FREAK SHOW

FRIDAY DEC 21ST

2 0 1 2 Follow us on Facebook for updates facebook.com/ saintlouissinner

MAD ART GALLERY 2727 S. 12th Street, St. Louis, MO

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That being said, we all know that society/media creates the image of what a perfect woman’s body should look like.

Therefore it puts an enormous and unfair pressure on women to live up to those expectations thus creating insecurity, anxiety and lack of self confidence. And that’s when the synergy between model and photographer comes into play. By the model’s trust in the photographer’s eyes, intuition, directions and understanding that both have the same goals.

Which is to create magic by turning her into everyone’s fantasy, and showing her beauty regardless of height, weight, proportions, age, etc.

V

ictor Ziller was born and raised in Brazil but moved to the US several years ago to further his education. He first attended NYU but eventually obtained a degree in architecture from UC Berkeley.

He is well traveled, having visited 65 countries, and speaks four languages. He is a unique addition to the St. Louis photography scene, and his works are receiving a lot of attention. One look into his massive portfolio and you can see why.

I recently had the opportunity to sit down with him for a few minutes and discuss his works. It was perhaps the most interesting conversation I’ve ever had with an artists...

Tell me about your photography background?

I’d developed an interest in photography in my early teens. I borrowed my dad’s camera and started taking pictures. One of my friends had a dark room and he taught me how to develop and print. Since then I’ve always carried a camera with me.

What about schooling, any degrees in photography or photoshop?

I started taking photography classes back in high school and I must’ve taken more than 15 different courses since. As far as Photoshop I had friends helping me here and there and I’ve used the web but for the most part I’m self taught, it’s been a trial and error experiment.

What camera do you shoot with, and why?

I shoot with a 16.2 mega pixels Sony and I use Sigma lenses. After many years shooting with Nikon cameras and lenses I came to the conclusion that the cost benefit wasn’t worth it; I can get the same results at a fraction of the cost.

You mentioned to me that you have shot for numerous mags. Can you tell me a bit about some of those works?

What I’ve done and still do is submissions for adult and ink publications. What that means is that since I know what they’re looking for I shoot models which I believe have the correct profile for a specific mag and send them a submission. This

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opens the door for future referrals from the magazine as well as potential business opportunities.

you take the picture, go into Photoshop, turn the image to black and white and then use a tool to bring back the color to the areas you desire.

We also talked about the difference between shooting borderline pornography and tasteful erotica. Can you please explain to me that again?

Erotic art is an appreciation of the human form whereas porn’s sole intent is to arouse the viewer.

To me porn is more sexually driven and therefore more appealing to men while erotica leaves more to the imagination and appeals more to women.

What type of process do you have for finding models?

Well, I get referrals from mags for submissions, from friends and business associates; but most of the models are from Model Mayhem and MOP. These are websites dedicated to photographers, models, MUA’s, etc.

Let me ask you about our cover choice. Can you tell me how that shot came around and the effects used to create it?

That particular shot was something that I had thought about for awhile and had tried it before but didn’t like the results. But this time around everything was just perfect, from the color of the drink and lipstick, to the model’s pose and expression and the lighting…what can I say, I get lucky sometimes!! As far as the effects go; well, I’d rather not go too deep into that but essentially

We spoke the other day about inner beauty, specifically about a shorter heavy girl who loved her figure. You talked about capturing her in the right angles to capture her beauty. Can you explain?

That's the beauty of photographing women, the way I see it every curve on a woman’s body is sexy, sensual, beautiful and always able to create fantasy. That not only allows the belief that beauty comes from within but also gives a self confidence that goes beyond forms or cultural myths.

What about the backdrops, make-up and attire for your shoots? Do you bring in someone else yo help or is it all your creations?

After meeting with a model and seeing what she looks like I begin to develop a theme for the shoot. Backdrops and props are mostly my creation but I always allow and even ask for the model’s input and suggestions. For most shoots I require the services of a MUA and a hairdresser, unless the model is capable of doing it herself.

What's next for you in 2013?

I’m thinking about opening my own studio in the St. Louis area to go along with my Las Vegas studio. I’m going to continue working with calendars and focusing more attention to couple’s shoots.

This is an area of enormous possibilities especially for Valentine’s Day, anniversaries, father’s day and other special occasions. I’m also working on a book celebrating women over 40. This is going to be a cocktail table style book with beautiful, sexy and sensual images. It will also portray insights on how they see themselves and deal with growing more beautiful and wise, instead of old.

And last, where can readers find more of your works or reach you?

They can go to my web site www.amazingcurves. net and view free of charge hundreds of sexy, sensual, erotic but classy images. They can also check prices and schedule a shoot.

www.facebook.com/seattlesinner * www.facebook.com/saintlouissinner

Alton, IL

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here’s nothing more exciting than being witness to a hometown hero making it big, and that’s certainly the case when it comes to the Clownvis story. Mikey left Misery for LA over a year ago but he still returns every few months for his die-hard fans and long time friends.

We drove all the way to Alton, Il in October to see his act and just say hello. For those who may have missed the King, he is doing very well in LA and living the dream of kings. The King is now known for performing alongside big acts like Little Richard, Neil Hamburger, Dresden Dolls, and Jewel, making him a legendary stage show on the LA scene.

Check him out on FB at: www.facebook.com/ ClownvisPresley or log on to www.clownvispresley. com for upcoming shows and merch... the perfect XMAS gift!

Satan Claws

by Pastor Clyde

C

hristmas, the wintry day of sublime joy, when we celebrate the birth of the Beloved Savior, Jesus Christ. It is the most peaceful, loving, gift-giving holy day devoted to The LORD. Excited children look forward to hearing the story of the Nativity and worshipping respectfully at church. Right?

Wrong. It is not Jesus they worship, but another god, breaking the very first commandment given: “Thou shalt have no other gods before me!” Who is this god?

Who is this pretender who wishes to garner praises away from the Almighty? None other than Satan himself, in a clever disguise as a jolly, kindly old man: Santa Claus!

Move merely one letter of his first name, and his identity is revealed. This is not a very cunning pseudonym, yet it has deceived millions of people around the world. His last name, Claus, is actually an old English word for “hoof-claw”. “Saint Hoof-Claw” is none other than Lucifer, Star of Morning, Father of Lies, Master of Demons, the Old Nick.

How can such a fake costume hide Beelzebub from so many God-fearing Christians? He wears red, like the Devil. A white beard distracts us from his fire-burned skin. One witness recalls, “His eyes -- how they twinkled…” With a supernatural glow, no doubt. “His cheeks like roses, his nose like a cherry”, continues Clement Clarke Moore in his infamous poem of that dark, demonic “Night Before Christmas“. Not merely the natural blush from the cold, but bright red like roses and cherries, the aberrant deep red of blood and carnage! Our witness also testifies that Santa was a “jolly old elf”, who twisted his head, and hypnotized the witness into thinking he had “nothing to dread“. Which leads us to the elves.

In this modern world, the Tempter has deceived many into believing elves and fairies are harmless creatures of the wood. But historical beliefs about these beings are far different. Elves (Evils) were wicked beings that lived beneath the earth where time moved differently. They kidnapped children, played demented pranks, danced and lusted, raped virgins, and lured people into their underworld domains of iniquity. Elf was synonymous with Goblin and Demon. Yet somehow we now worship these demonic minions as “Santa's Elves”.

They slave away at the North Pole, working for their evil Master to build toys for unsuspecting children. At the North Pole, where it is “as cold as hell”.

The flying reindeer are also perversions of ancient myth, softened to make it palpable. “Flying reindeer” is a euphemism for the Nidhogg, “Tearer of Corpses”, an antlered and be-winged serpent or dragon of Norse mythology. It is said he guards the dark underworld of hell

eating the bodies of the dead from a bubbling cauldron.

At Ragnarok - The Apocalypse, the End of the World this evil being will lead the armies of the dead to fight the powers of good. Sound familiar? This creature, tamed, now carries Santa around the world in a sleigh. Which sounds too much like “slay” for my comfort.

As he rides, he cackles in maniacal glee at his wicked trickery. “Ho ho ho!” he shouts. But what does this unusual laugh mean? Let us do a little math. There were eight original Nidhoggs, or reindeer. If we count 8 letters into the alphabet, we reach “H”. From there, we count 6 letters, and get the “O”. So what Santa is really saying is “666!” as he flies through the chilly night sky. Revelations states that people will buy and sell by this mark, in the name of the Beast! In the name of Santa Claus!

It is evident that he participates in one of the great evils: The use of magic. God has said, “Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live”, and in 2 Chronicles, 33:6, we read, “…and [the evil-doer Manasseh] used enchantments, and used witchcraft, and dealt with a familiar spirit, and with wizards: he wrought much evil in the sight of the LORD…” Satan is the source of all magic. And there is Santa, in his floppy red wizard's hat, stuffing his enchanted toy bag, and using cursed powders to fly down chimneys.

Into fire, I might add, which I'm sure he finds quite comfortable.

Santa continues to promote the most pagan of traditions by adulterating our sacred holy day. The customs of the pine tree, gift giving, feasting, lights, evergreen bows, and the color red, were all practiced in the winter by the decadent Romans to celebrate Saturn, the god of agriculture and fertility (lust). His occult symbol is the curved sickle. Candy canes anyone?

He distracts us from all spiritual pursuits with false promises of happiness through materialism. He bribes our souls away from God using his seductive temptations, exactly like Satan. In his name, parents lie to their beloved children. They lie to the most precious and innocent ones in the name of a false and warped god!

Jesus has said that only he can forgive men, that only he is the judge of our souls. Angels keep a Book of Life with our names in it. Again, Satan seeks to deceive, telling us he keeps a list of who is naughty and nice, and that he is our judge, and he will reward and punish us.

Reward us with material possessions. And if you're bad?

He leaves coal. Just where do you think he got that coal, with the furnaces of hell at his right hand!!!

If you doubt me, can you prove it is not so? Have you ever seen Santa and Satan in the same place at the same time?

written by Matthew Gorman

ALLIGATOR MAN

J

oe Ball was one tough son of a bitch. With a strongman’s physique and a reputation for being quick to temper, Ball was a truly imposing figure. He was fond of guns and was considered a crack shot, and he was no stranger to the bottle as well. But it was the grisly tales of murder that were built up around Joe Ball in the small Texas -town of Elmendorf where he lived most of his life that would eventually earn him the appellations of “The Butcher of Elmendorf”, “The Bluebeard of South Texas”, and for reasons soon to be revealed “The Alligator Man”.

Joseph Ball was born in Elmendorf, Texas on January 7, 1896. He spent much of his childhood on solitary pursuits, hiking and fishing in the wilderness alone, uninterested in spending time with his siblings or other children. In his teenage years, he developed a proclivity towards guns and spent many an hour practicing his marksmanship skills. This would undoubtedly prove invaluable to Joe as he enlisted in the Army shortly after the start of World War I. He was soon sent to the front lines in Europe and served for two years until receiving an honorable discharge in 1919.

When Joe Ball returned from the war it was assumed that he would become involved in one of the many lucrative family businesses started by his father Frank. The Balls had a cotton factory, a booming real estate business, and even owned a general store. And Joe did, in fact, work for his father for some time but he soon became disillusioned with this prospect. He desired to make his own money and stand on his own two feet. The way Joe elected to go about this was by becoming a bootlegger.

Joe would travel about the countryside in his Model A Ford, running the illegal whiskey and beer that was in high demand during the prohibition years. He hired an African-American man by the name of Clifton Wheeler to assist him in his bootlegging endeavors.

Apparently, Joe wasn’t especially kind to Wheeler and made him do most of the labor. Wheeler would later recount how when Joe got drunk he’d fire his pistol at Wheeler’s feet demanding that he dance the jitterbug for Joe’s entertainment. Wheeler would also eventually incriminate Joe in two murders, but not until after Joe Ball was deceased.

After the repeal of prohibition, Joe decided to stay in the business of booze and he opened up a saloon just outside Elmendorf on what is now Highway 181 called the Sociable Inn. Although the majority of the townsfolk felt that Joe was the type of character to be avoided, his bar patrons seemed to like him just fine. After all, Joe Ball served stiff drinks, employed a piano player, and even hosted the occasional cockfight. In addition, Joe Ball built an alligator pit with a ten-foot-high fence behind his bar. He stocked this man-made pond with one large alligator and four smaller ones. He would charge people to watch as he feed the gators small animals like opossums, raccoons and even cats and puppies! This alligator pit

would be at the heart of much of the controversy surrounding Joe Ball in the years to come. But more on that later.

Another attraction at the Sociable Inn was the rather comely waitresses that Joe Ball had a penchant for hiring. Unfortunately, none of these waitresses ever seemed to stick around for very long. Joe explained this away by claiming these were the kind of girls that were just passing through town and looking to make a quick buck before moving on. This explanation seemed to sit well enough with everyone, for a while at least.

In 1934, Joe took up with a woman from Seguin by the name of Minnie Gotthardt, or “Big Minnie” as she was known. Minnie helped Joe with the bar as well, becoming his business partner as well as lover. Their relationship lasted for a good three years until Joe became taken with a much prettier and younger waitress in his employ, one Dolores “Buddy” Goodwin. Ironically, Dolores was quite enamored with Joe as well despite the fact that Joe had once hurled a bottle at her that shattered upon her face and left a nasty scar from her eye to her neck. And then, just a year later, Joe fell for another of his waitresses, a girl by the name of Hazel “Schatzie” Brown.

Now old Joe was juggling three women at once, every one of which worked with him at his bar.

In the summer of 1937, Minnie Gotthardt went missing. When Minnie’s friends and family inquired as to her whereabouts Joe claimed that she had left town in shame after birthing a black baby. Soon after Minnie’s disappearance Joe wed Dolores Goodwin. After their marriage Joe revealed to Dolores that Minnie had not, in fact, run off, but that he had shot her to death and buried her body on a nearby beach. Dolores thought that Joe was just talking tough and really didn’t believe he had actually committed the murder. In January of 1938 Dolores lost an arm in a near fatal car crash, although rumors abounded that one of Joe’s gators had actually bit it off. Whatever the case, Dolores soon went missing right along with Minnie, as did Hazel soon after.

Minnie’s family started asking questions

again in the summer of 1938, and even contacted the Bexar County Sheriff’s office to assist them in finding Minnie. Joe was questioned in her disappearance but was soon dismissed as a suspect due to a lack of evidence.

It wasn’t long, however, before another family was contacting the police in an effort to find their daughter, 23-year-old Julia Turner, who had been another one of Joe’s waitresses. When initially questioned Joe claimed that Julia had left town abruptly citing personal problems for her hasty departure. However, when authorities searched Julia’s apartment they found her clothes and possessions all still there. Upon presenting this fact to Joe’s attention he amended his previous statement by telling police that Julia had wanted to get away from her problematic roommate quickly and that he had lent her $500 for traveling expenses.

Two more of Joe’s waitresses went missing over the course of the next few months, and police were beginning to get very suspicious of Joe Ball. After all, nearly every waitress in his employ had disappeared without a trace. But whenever Joe was brought in for questioning he stuck to his story claiming that all these girls had simply skipped town. Without any evidence or witnesses, the authorities really had nothing to go on.

Then in September of 1938 the police got a break. A former neighbor of Joe’s, who had actually left town and moved to California out of fear of Joe, came forward and claimed that he had seen Joe Ball hacking up a human corpse and feeding the chunks of meat to his alligators. At the same time, a Mexican-American man contacted Bexar County deputy sheriff John Gray to tell him about a barrel that had been left by Joe behind Joe’s sister’s barn. The man told authorities that the barrel smelled like something dead was inside. Upon arriving at Joe’s sister’s farm, authorities found the barrel was gone but Joe’s sister corroborated the story of the barrel.

After these new developments, authorities went calling upon Joe Ball once again. This time, however Joe must have known the gig was up. When deputies John Gray and John Klevenhagen told Joe they were taking him to San Antonio as a suspect in the disap-

pearances of so many women, Joe calmly asked the deputies if he could close up his bar first. The deputies agreed, but as they sat waiting at the bar, Joe poured himself a beer, downed it, and then rang up a “NO SALE” on his cash register. From the open register drawer Joe produced a pistol, briefly threatening the deputies with it before turning the gun on himself. Joe Ball died by a single self-inflicted gunshot wound to the heart.

After Joe’s death authorities went through the Sociable Inn with a fine-toothed comb. They found rotting meat around the gator pit and an axe covered with blood and hair. Everyone assumed that Joe had murdered his victims and feed them to the gators. However, none of the rotting meat was found to be human, and the only two bodies that the authorities ever found, those of Minnie and Hazel were found buried far from Joe’s bar.

Clifton Wheeler was the man who revealed to police the locations of the two bodies, Minnie on the beach just like Joe had told Dolores, and Hazel’s dismembered corpse out in the wilderness. Wheeler claimed that Joe had forced him at gunpoint to help him dismember and inter Hazel’s body. They then burned her head on a campfire. Wheeler told police that Joe killed Hazel because she had fallen in love with another man and was threatening to tell police her suspicions about Joe’s involvement in Minnie’s murder. Wheeler claimed that Joe had murdered Minnie because she had become pregnant and he felt that would inter with his relationship with Dolores. Wheeler claimed he had no knowledge of Joe ever killing anyone else.

Strangely enough, Dolores actually turned up in San Diego, very much alive. She had left Joe to make a new start. Another of the “missing” waitresses turned up as well just two weeks later in Phoenix, Arizona.

And so while it remains unclear as to how many victims Joe actually claimed or whether or not he actually ever fed anyone to his gators, Joe Ball remains an apocryphal figure in Texas folklore to this very day. As for Joe’s gators, they were donated to the San Antonio zoo, where they lived out the remainder of their days as a tourist attraction.

This, I Shamelessly Tell You Living With the Neighbor From Hell, Best Halloween and Steamcon ever, and other stuff

by James Stansberry

me you read this my dear fans, I’m hoping the 1) my evil, twin-of-Satan neighbor has finally been kicked out into the street where his sorry ass belongs (SHA, via a very nice property manager has been doing all they can to get rid of this creep, but last word was the process to evict even the most heinous of tenants takes a loooong time, so it’s up to the Sheriff’s Department to get off THEIR dead asses and act to get this buffoon out of the building...imagine me rolling my eyes in disgust here, since you can’t see me), and 2) I’m still ‘at liberty’, having not stooped to my evil neighbor’s level and killed him, or come close. I tell you, as I sit here, with my ‘Bleach’ dvd in the background to drown on the ramblings of said evil neighbor, as he paces back and forth down our hallway (and other innocent tenants--he likes to spread his misery around, as if it were some kind of gift, thus making everyone in the building hate him), I’m counting the minutes ‘til his ass is out of our lives. Oh, did I mention he’s a very fucked up Scorpio, with a Chinese chart that makes him all that much more screwy (this, according to my astrologer sweetie, who figured out aforementioned evil neighbor’s chart after said neighbor ‘broadcasted’ his birthday a few weeks ago, to me, forcing this knowledge on me like a kind of psychic rape)? Hate Scorpios, and I apologize to any good ones out there.

Anywho... aside from dealing with the only person to make me feel enough rage to want to eviscerate him, since my father, there have also been some good things happening in this, the most conflicted month of year (again, info from my astrologer sweetie, who let me know that Dog Month/October, conflicts with Dragon Year, thus making October the most conflicted month of the year). Like, after about a five year hiatus, I finally worked a Halloween party, at one of the places I do a monthly psychic fair, and sweetie went ‘dressed’ (as a ‘soccer mom’), and no one came undone (though there were some awkward comments, like ‘so, how do you feel about being with a woman?’). Also made a fair amount of cash, so at least one Christmas present (for one of my sweetie’s sisters) has been ordered as of this writing. Yay. After the party sweetie and I hung out a bit on both

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‘the Ave’ in the U-district, and then in Ballard, with me being a complete ‘boi’, letting my horn dogginess take over as I ogled many babes in tiny costumes. Good times! I think it’s my cred as a Trans man being trashed (as I’ve had to be referred to over and over again by the po-pos – police, for you who don’t know the jargon-as ‘she’ and ‘her) by the above mentioned asshole neighbor that I hate the most. I mean, I’ve worked damned hard all freaking year to feel good about being the man I’ve always dreamed of being to have that pissed on by this jackass. Thus, the thought of slowly cutting away bits of his skin, while he is screaming and on fire, runs through my mind a lot, and trust me, it’s not a good feeling either. Like I said, hoping by the time you’re reading this, his ‘reign of terror and insanity’ is over and he’s just another piece of crap, rambling on the street, being avoided by decent folk.

Still, in this, gratitude month, I am hella grateful for the good that is in my life, like my sweetie, who looks gorgeous dressed, and who nearly fainted when she saw her gorgeous self in the waist cincher she tried on at this year’s Steamcon. Looked even better in it than in the corset she tried on before (and the outfit she wore as the femme to my butch pirate/vampire and ‘30’s detective, wasn’t bad either!), and the two vendors of said cincher and corset were wonderfully helpful and complimentary too, which only added icing to an already sweet cake. Also loving the new neighborhood, now that it’s been a full year (in spite of my hateful neighbor, may the gods of chaos roast his liver in hell!), and all of the gorgeous, Asian kids and sweet ‘pudding’ girls who smile at me when I’m decked out in my fave ‘boi’ clothes. Those smiles have made my day many times now and I look forward to many more, and many more times going out with my sweetie, looking her femme best, as the winter makes an entrance. Oh yes, and finally, hoping we’re not all in despair ‘cause Rommel has won and not Obama.

This, I shamelessly tell you, and happy holidays!

www.facebook.com/seattlesinner * www.facebook.com/saintlouissinner

Think Outside The Cage with Kendra Holliday of The Beautiful Kind

Why Am I Boner Kryptonite?

Dear Kendra, I have questions regarding my first swinger experience: I was under the impression that sex parties meant condoms, no questions asked. What’s up with two different guys having to be told to use them? They seemed old enough to know better.

Also, the men had trouble maintaining erections. Am I doing something wrong? Am I missing some nuance of the group sex scene? I want to have great sex!

How can I get off during a sex party? Does it just take time to get past the overwhelmed feeling? I had three men working on me at once but I never got close. I sympathize with both men who were unable to have sex with me. I only got off once and that was by myself with a vibe and it took FOREVER. ~Swinger Lady Newbie Dear Swinger Lady Newbie, They say that men drag their women to swing parties, and then the women want to STAY! It can be a really good situation for women due to how we’re equipped.

I am seriously annoyed at the creepy men you encountered. It is SUPER UNCOOL of them to be so opportunistic. SUPER UNCOOL about trying to stick it to you without condoms.

Safer sex, people!!!

You’re not doing anything wrong when it comes to the men not maintaining erections that’s one of the reasons they tried avoiding condoms, it is one more challenge for them. Also drinking and drugs and hot tub water and nerves and other people being present and SO MANY things can mess with a guy’s hard on. I’ve encountered it plenty of times, one on one and in group settings.

It can be frustrating, but it’s good to remember a lot of people get nervous when it comes to sex when other people are present, and condoms do rain on the parade a bit. So much so that I’ve gotten to the point at sex parties where I think I might as well stick with something reliable (my partner) than try and branch out. It’s not embarrassing for ME when a guy doesn’t get hard, but they sometimes get weirded out by it and it can be awkward. They just need to relax and employ some other technique for pleasuring a woman - fingers, tongue, and toys are all great, too!

IMPORTANT LESSON: Don’t let male orgasms dictate the sex. Average time for a woman to achieve orgasm = 20 min. It is the norm for a woman to hit a plateau period for many minutes and then cum at some point, but some people think they are broken or switch what they are doing too soon and they lose out. Both women and men need to be more patient with women in this regard.

Also, a sex party can be overwhelming and if you’re inexperienced, it can be a bad setting for you to relax and get off. You’re used to certain things and need time to adjust to new sensations. For instance, one way I love getting off is with a vibe on my clit with two people worshiping my breasts. I’m somewhat used to that awesome feeling, but ten years ago that would have been WAY TOO MUCH going on and I would have been all over the place in my head.

So yeah, congrats on your new sex adventures, but keep things in perspective, and on YOUR TERMS. Photo: Connie LaFlam

kendra@thebeautifulkind.com www.thebeautifulkind.com Got a sex, relationship, BDSM or fetish related question? Ask your local sexpert, Kendra Holliday, Writer & Editor of The Beautiful Kind, and Co-Founder of Sex Positive St. Louis.

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