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Coaching out of Frustration or Inspiration! Dear Coach, What got you into coaching? I am sure it had something to do with teaching a sport you love and the opportunity to influence the lives of athletes. What a worthy profession! Anyone who watches sports can see the impact of good coaching. It’s revealed in the teamwork, effort and the discipline that is displayed. As a fan, it is a lot of fun to see a well-coached team. I believe if you put two teams in a competition, the best athletes will usually win, even without coaching. Yet with coaching, a group of athletes accomplish what they couldn’t do on their own. Isn’t the primary role of a coach to provide instruction and inspiration? If a team underachieves, it is because of coaching. If a team overachieves, it’s because of coaching. How do we get a group of athletes to overachieve? How does a coach get them to play beyond their natural ability or instinct? They have to play hard, and they have to play together. Not only that, but they have to play inspired. Now that’s coaching: to inspire! From the start until the end of the game, many coaches today just seem upset and frustrated. Whoever said, “if you ain’t yelling, you ain’t coaching” certainly got this message across, because a lot of coaches prescribe to that philosophy. Frankly, I believe if you aren’t instructing and inspiring, you aren’t coaching. Coach, let’s do a quick survey. How would you answer these questions? 1. Would your players say you don’t trust them? 2. Are they afraid of making a mistake because you will “pull them” or get upset with them? 3. Are your comments during a game mostly negative?
4. Do you have to raise your voice to get your point across? 5. Is your team underachieving? If you answered “yes” to these questions, then you are probably coaching out of frustration rather than inspiration. Look, kids make mistakes. They are not paid professionals. No player wants to make a mistake. All your players want to win and earnestly desire to please you. If this is true, and you believe it’s true, then you have a very unique opportunity to inspire your kids to do great things. Coach Mike Krzyewski, the legendary basketball coach of Duke University, put it this way: “People have to be given the freedom to show the heart they possess. I think it’s a leader’s responsibility to provide that type of freedom. And I believe it can be done through relationships and family. Because if a team is a real family, its members want to show you their hearts.” Coach, you have the ability to create an environment where your athletes are free to compete. Free of self-doubt, of the fear of failing, of making a mistake and free of being yelled at or humiliated. You have the ability to inspire a kid to rise above adversity to accomplish great things. As the leader, you hold the heart of your team in your hands. Coach, may you instruct and inspire your kids to greatness so they can show you and everyone watching the kind of heart they have.
Donnie Dee has been with the Fellowship of Christian Athletes for 19 years and now serves as FCA’s Executive Director and Chief Operating Officer at the Home Office in Kansas City, Mo. As a Kansas City native, Dee played football and basketball for Oak Park High School and was a four-year letterman in football at the University of Tulsa. He was drafted by the Indianapolis Colts and played in the NFL for two years. Today, Dee directs the daily ministry of FCA’s Home Office, which serves more than 400 local and regional offices that annually impact more than two million people across the country.
The Bible tells us, “if you faint in the day of adversity your strength is small” (Proverbs 24:10). Allow your players to show you what they can do after they make a mistake. Inspire them to respond to their mistake rather then react to your frustration. Adversity does not make or break you, it reveals you. So the next time one of your players jumps offsides, turns the ball over or “muffs” a grounder, may they know you still believe in them and you are counting on them to “make a play” that will win the game. Coach them to rise above! Inspire them to overachieve! May the Lord bless you, Coach, as you invest your life influencing the lives of young athletes. On behalf of all parents whose children are athletes, we thank God for you!
SPRING 2013
The Heart of a Champion
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