SPORTS
THE DUTCH DESTROYER
Marloes Coenen wants to play spoiler to
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Cristiane “Cyborg” Santos’ comeback.
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arloes Coenen will be out for revenge when she enters the cage July 13 against Cristiane “Cyborg” Santos at Invicta FC 6, at the Ameristar Casino. That’s more than hype-video fodder — though it is the title of one video — for the 32-year-old Dutch submission specialist. In March 2010, Coenen lost to Cyborg by a third-round TKO. Cyborg lived up to her moniker, attacking Coenen like a Terminator. Coenen would later say she had never been hit harder. She admittedly underestimated Cyborg’s strength. She won’t this time around. “I know what to expect right now,” Coenen tells The Pitch in a Skype interview during a break from her training in the Netherlands. “So I won’t be overwhelmed by her and the terror she brings upon me.” Coenen has increased her training regimen. Focused on improving her strength and conditioning, she has entered “War Camp,” twice-a-day group training sessions. “It’s really starting to pay off,” says Coenen, who has built a 21-5 career record (three knockouts, 15 submissions and three decisions) and held the Strikeforce women’s championship. “It’s really exhausting, but I feel like I’m getting really, really much stronger.” Cyborg vs. Coenen II: for revenge and a belt The potential payoff is a big one. On the line is not only redemption but also the vacant during the Brazilian’s Invicta debut in which she pounded Coenen’s last opponent, Fiona Invicta FC featherweight title. Also at stake is Muxlow, on the way to a first-round TKO. a chance to play spoiler to Cyborg’s comeback; (Coenen submitted Muxlow in the first Cyborg served a yearlong suspension for a posiround of a New Year’s Eve fight in Saitama, tive steroid test. Cyborg’s manager, former UFC fighter Tito Ortiz, is already pushing for Japan.) Coenen asked Muxlow after the fight a matchup with UFC bantamweight champion to compare how hard her future opponent hits. Ronda Rousey. Coenen may have a say in de- Muxlow told her about 20 percent harder. “After that I really amped up my training,” railing those plans. Coenen says. “She will be stronger than me, “If I win, that scenario is out the door,” says Coenen, who doesn’t appear to be wor- but not that much stronger.” Coenen arrived in Kansas City Monday ried about Cyborg’s past steroid use. “I don’t for her fi nal fight prep and to shake off jet think she’s using the stuff anymore.” lag. After Saturday’s fight, she plans to stay But would she want to fight Rousey? a few extra days to take in “To me, a fight with the city and celebrate her Cyborg is way more interInvicta FC 6 trainers’ birthdays at Papa esting than a fight with Saturday, July 13 Bob’s Bar-B-Que, in Kansas Ronda,” Coenen says. at Ameristar Casino City, Kansas, with the “Ulti“Cyborg, for me, is really 3200 North Ameristar Drive 816-414-7000, ameristar.com mate Destroyer Challenge”: a challenge. It’s really exa 45-minute competition to citing to fight against her. clean a plateful of 7 pounds With Ronda, at the moof barbecue meats, smoked hamburgers, ment that she heard she has to fight Cyborg, she drops to 135 [pounds]. To me, you’re not a breads, fries, pickles and jalapeño peppers. Finish and it’s free (and your picture goes true fighter. Oh, yeah, I want to fight you. But on the wall of fame). Fail and pay $58 (and you’ve got to come to 135. … To me, I don’t have be added to the wall of shame). too much respect for people who act like that. But first, Coenen has to survive her own I do have respect for her. She’s an amazing Ultimate Destroyer Challenge. grappler. She knows how to play the media “Every time you have a loss, you want to really good. But for a true fighter, there’s no redeem yourself,” Coenen says. “I really want one cooler to fight than Cyborg.” to win. I really want to have the belt.” Coenen began scouting Cyborg in April,
Tommy Toe Hold: MMA satirist
TUFF TOON Knockin’ heads with MMA satirist Tommy Toe Hold
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et’s do this shit!” Thanks to cartoon satirist Tommy Toe Hold, the catchphrase has joined the small, exclusive pantheon of combat-sports slogans: “Let’s get ready to rumble” and “It’s time.” Tommy, who keeps his true identity a secret, hosts The Tommy Toe Hold Show on YouTube. Imagine six minutes of the latest mixed-martial-arts news, heavy on satire, smart dialogue, 1980s and ’90s pop-culture references, cheap production values and F-bombs. Yeah, the only real animation is Tommy’s moving mouth — like a Canadian on South Park — but the athletes and personalities whom he roasts appear as their photo likenesses. Tommy spends from 16 to 24 hours a week writing, producing and voicing shows for Mondays and Wednesdays. And there’s plenty of material, especially after a big UFC pay-perview with wild finishes, fighters trash talking and big-fight speculation. “Pretty much as soon as the PPV is over, the show is already fi nished in my head,” Tommy tells The Pitch. “Then I wait until Wednesday afternoon to actually do something with it, and then the show gets released at 3 a.m.”
Tommy’s humor has been embraced by just about everyone in the MMA community. UFC president Dana White has followed Tommy on Twitter. Other fans include Chael Sonnen; Aussie Bec “Rowdy” Hyatt, who is fighting at Invicta FC 6; and Rousey. There is one notable exception: Former UFC champion Tito Ortiz took offense at Tommy’s “Mr. Potato Head” classification of his large cranium and blocked him on Twitter. “Most everybody has been cool with it,” Tommy says. “I’ve actually received e-mails from fighters and fighters’ managers, asking if I’ll make fun of their fighter on my show. For the most part, everybody gets the joke.” Invicta president Shannon Knapp gets it. Knapp has been a supporter of TTTHS since its March 7, 2012, debut. Tommy has returned the love, featuring Invicta’s fighters on the show. “I have been a big fan of Invicta and Shannon from the beginning,” Tommy says, “and became one of the early figures in the MMA community that was constantly pushing people to watch Invicta. Shannon was nice enough to put my face all over their weigh-ins. “Women’s MMA is just as exciting as men’s MMA, if not more,” he adds. “Not only that, but it’s more lighthearted. The overall feel of an Invicta event is less Fight Club and more Here Comes the Boom.” Invicta’s July 13 main event features one of Tommy’s favorite fighters, Coenen. “I’ll be completely biased and pulling for her during the fight,” Tommy says of Coenen. “That said, Cyborg is some kind of force of nature. Her last Invicta fight looked more like a mugging than something that was supposed to be competitive. I see Cyborg winning and then still not fighting Ronda Rousey at any point in time.” — BOONIE
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