Sophie Woman's Magazine - April 2017 by Sophie Woman's Magazine

Volume 13 / Issue 2

April 2017

INSPIRATION ~ EDUCATION ~ MOTIVATION

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essage

from the

By Judy Smith

am asked all the time about “my story”. Anyone who knows me knows I believe everyone has a story to tell. When Sophie Woman’s Magazine first began, that was what my vision included...to share the stories. Often, there are people who tell me Sophie ought to share “their story”. My response is always the same. “No one can tell it like you”. You need to write it out, preferably do it on the computer or even a typewriter if that is what you still use. If that is not possible, then write it on paper. Send it to me and we will help you with editing. The response I get back is always the same. “One day I am going to do that”, but that one day never happens and it makes me sad that we won’t hear them. God makes us all unique. He tells us in Psalm 139:14 “I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well”. So when people tell me they know someone who looks like me or they know another Judy Smith, it is not me. There is not another me or you in this world. That means no one else has your story. So why do we have a story? Let’s look at the passage in the Bible from Acts 8:36-39. As they went along the road they came to some water; and the eunuch said, “Look! Water! What prevents me from being baptized?” [And Philip said, “If you believe with all your heart, you may.” And he answered and said, “I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God.”] And he ordered the chariot to stop; and they both went down into the water, Philip as well as the eunuch, and he baptized him. When they came up out of the water, the Spirit of the Lord snatched Philip away; and the eunuch no longer saw him, but went on his way rejoicing. Two strangers, traveling along a road, had never met before and would not meet again but just think of the stories they both had to tell after that. You see, OUR STORIES, that no one else has, are to be passed along. They have a purpose. Maybe they are to encourage others, to educate others, to motivate others. Whatever the reason, it won’t happen if you are unwilling to share it. Not

everyone’s story is to be written. Maybe your story is just for one person but if you don’t pass it on, then it is lost for all eternity after death. My youngest brother who was just three at the time, would never have known I put him up a very tall tree, had I not told him. I then climbed back down without him to take his picture before I went back up to get him. I still have that picture which is proof God was looking out for him that day. That picture is also proof of something very stupid on my part. It sure makes for a good story now...especially when I tell of my “climbing heroics”. My ordeal with abuse would never be known by anyone if I did not share my story. I kept it inside for many years till God lead me to share it with someone whom I thought might need to hear it. I have shared it with other victims and hopefully, it encouraged them that it was not their fault and that there was more to life after abuse. When I was diagnosed with breast cancer people started asking me if I was going to share. At first I was hesitant but then I decided to journal my journey with the readers of Sophie Woman’s Magazine. I still get people coming up to me telling me how much that helped them. “The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.” Pablo Picasso I love that quote. So share your story...to someone you love, or maybe someone you meet on the road or just someone you meet in Wal-Mart. After all, if you are in line, you probably have time.

Judy Smith Heart2Heart

Motivation & Inspirational Speaking judy@heart2heartmotivation.com 828-320-9936

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 3

phie Woman’s Magazine

Contents Message from the Heart

Reaching Your Full Potential

Sophisticated Women

Girlfriends in God

Me, Myself, & Inc.

14 16

By: Judy Smith

By: Kim Fletcher

P.O. Box 1393 22 South Main Ave. Newton, NC 28658 (P) 828-466-0122

Production & Design Manager: Scott Hansley

Sales:

Judy Smith 828-466-0122 judy@sophiewomansmagazine.com

Web Design:

Brandy Watkins brandy@sophiewomansmagazine.com

By: Nicole Greer

By: Mary Southerland

By: Sherre Demao

God’s Good Plan

By:Patricia Middleton

The Most Joyous Day of the Year

He Said, She Said

Live God’s Word

Ponder Truth

Give Boring Lunches A Boost

By: Jan McCanless

David & Amy Washco

By: Nina Heck

Published by:

M arketQuest Media, LLC

A Special Thanks To All Of Our Distributors Please be sure to visit all of our participating advertisers and remember to support area local small businesses .

By: Julie McGrath

For more information about advertising or to view Sophie Woman’s Magazine online, visit our website at www.sophiewomansmagazine.com or call 828-466-0122 ************************************************************************************************ Disclaimer: Sophie Woman’s Magazine is published monthly. The articles published in Sophie do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the publisher. All articles are intended for informational purposes only, and none should serve as a substitute for doctor’s advice and orders. Advertisers are solely responsible for the content and validity of information published within their ads and are not necessarily endorsed by the publisher. Deceptive or misleading advertising is not knowingly accepted by the publisher. Advertising is accepted with the understanding that all liability for copyright violations is the sole responsibility of the advertiser. All material submitted for publication is considered to be the sole property of the advertiser. Sophie Woman’s Magazine publishers, staff, and other persons involved in the creation, production, or delivery of the magazine (in whatever format) or its content, do not assume any liability or responsibility for the accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any information provided in the magazine, nor shall they be liable for any direct, indirect, incidental, special, consequential, or punitive damages arising out of the use of the magazine. *************************************************************************************************

pg 4 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | April 2017

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REACHING YOUR FULL POTENTIAL: Someday Never Comes!

by Kim Fletcher, Life Coach, Speaker, Author

“Often the difference between you and the person you envy most is quite simple. They took the first step.” Kim Fletcher I am about to give you an insider’s peek into the ideas on my desk that are being shaped into my latest book. Do you ever stop to consider why you have not achieved certain goals? Have you struggled to move beyond dreaming to achieving? If so, I want to empower you to increase your daily effectiveness. In fact, I hope this simple concept will help shake you out of perpetual planning into a lifestyle that connects your days to your vision. Ben Carson once said, “Through hard work, perseverance and faith in God, you can live your dreams.” Do you believe that is true? If so, why do dreams die for so many of us? What separates the dreamers from the achievers?

Show me your dreams and I will quickly tell you if those dreams are compelling enough to change your life path. We each need to discover a vision worth living for. Have you ever noticed how many times people make plans, stating, “Someday I am going to do that. Someday I am going to go there. Someday I am going to change that unhealthy habit.”

In my work coaching and consulting with clients around the world, I have realized that someday never comes! And the answer why is quite simple. Someday is a vague concept that lacks a clear path of simple, doable steps required to reach the desired destination. Someday lacks a clear, compelling reason to take action now. Most plans that are made this way are sabotaged before they ever start.

In my professional experience, I have made a few discoveries about the daily habits required to fulfill dreams and destinies. My upcoming book will target individuals from all walks of life who want more than life has to offer. It begins with a story of inspiration that comes from my inner circle as I witnessed one of my dearest friends create great transformation in her health and self-image in less than a year. Her success left me longing to articulate simple success strategies that I saw bringing lasting results into her life. I want to remind you that you will find your greatest coach

pg 6 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | April 2017

and mentor inside your own heart and mind. I see many looking outside of themselves all too often while failing to recognize their own signature style of motivation and inspiration.

More often than not, my coaching discussions begin with a person telling me what, who or where they wish they could be. I find that type of thinking occurs when we compare ourselves to those whom we would define as more successful in the areas that matter to us. Most individuals can think of someone they envy. One realization I have made is that the distance between you and that person you envy is often that they chose to take that first step!

Much the way a sailor uses a compass to navigate toward his favorite destination, I want to encourage you to begin connecting your days to your vision. Get a clear picture of the shift you desire for your life, then invest in simple daily practices that move you in that direction. Slow, incremental steps will move you closer to where you long to be. I may not be able to walk from Hickory to Myrtle Beach in a day, but if I broke the trip into incremental segments, I could actually walk there in a fairly short period of time by simply moving in the right direction a few steps every day. Sometimes, the destination you desire for your life may feel too far off to ever be realized, but it may be closer than you think. Corin Nemec states, “Never let life impede on your ability to manifest your dreams. Dig deeper into your dreams and deeper into yourself and believe that anything is possible, and make it happen.” If we are not careful, the drudgeries of daily life can hinder our future momentum. Those who take the time to evaluate their dreams and create sustainable strategies are the ones who make the seemingly impossible happen. Perhaps it is time to rekindle our highest hopes and dig deep to re-align our days with our dreams. For those who do so, success will become an inevitable reality.

I believe in you and in the power of your dreams for your life. It is time to make yourself the person you envy most. My desire is to see you fall in love with your life. That process begins by taking the first step. Are you ready?

Bio: Kim Fletcher is a Life Coach, Speaker and Author of global impact. She enjoys bringing lasting transformation to the personal and professional lives of her national and local clients. Contact her directly to learn more about how a coaching partnership might launch you and your team to the next level: kimfletchercoach@ gmail.com. Watch next month for a link to receive her latest eBook FREE!!!

Shutterbuggerz Submitted by Clara Barnes

Submitted by Jamie Marie Photography

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 7

ophisticated

Women...

Are Enthusiastic!

hile some individuals cross paths with me inspiring me to live my most vibrant life, others only pass by. The difference in these two people is enthusiasm.

By Nicole Greer, PPCC aka The Vibrant Coach

1. Enthusiasm breaks down walls.

Enthusiasm is synonymous with passion, fervor, ardor, zeal and associated with emotions that are deeply stirring.

The pure energy of an enthusiastic person can shift the thinking of others. Consider the words of Martin Luther King, “I have a dream.” This catapulted the civil rights movement to a whole new level. His unwavering and unapologetic enthusiasm broke down some serious walls.

Enthusiasm is a state. Enthusiasm is a mental model. Enthusiasm is a choice.

Ryan Adams quipped, “There is nothing wrong with loving the crap out of everything. Negative people find their walls. So never apologize for your enthusiasm. Never, ever. Never.”

Mistakenly, it is framed as an emotion. It is not. It is a positive, energetic approach to life that sparks a heightened consciousness of what is possible resulting in energy for turning something into the probable. Like H. Jackson Brown, the author of Life’s Little Instruction Book, I want to encourage you to “Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.”

2. Enthusiasm moves you past failure.

You stand in choice to become an enthusiast. Sophisticated women know that success requires fuel. Like Ivern Ball points out, there are two types of fuel. There is knowledge. And, there is enthusiasm that pulls the switch. Yes, knowledge is power but, it is only powerful when it is shared with enthusiasm. Haven’t you sat in a classroom setting where the “teacher” drones on about some topic while you watch your watch… wishing your life away… until the session is over? Haven’t you sat in a classroom setting where the “teacher” pours out their knowledge with passion, fervor, ardor, zeal, shifting your emotions deeply, stirring something within while you long for more time to go deeper still? I assume you’ve experienced both. You know what it is like to have your switch pulled! With this knowledge, you must take the responsibility for being enthusiastic. Claiming to be a sophisticated woman is a responsibility. Again, I repeat myself from earlier articles, a sophisticated woman is wise, savvy, and seeks strategies, systems and smarts to make her world better than she found it. An unsophisticated woman, a naive woman, laments and complains about her world! To be sophisticated, one must be enthusiastic. The sophisticated woman embraces the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson, “Enthusiasm is one of the most powerful engines of success. When you do a thing, do it with all your might. Put your whole soul into it. Stamp it with your personality. Be active, be energetic and faithful, and you will accomplish your objective. Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.” Perhaps these three ideas with persuade you to be an enthusiast!

pg 8 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | April 2017

Enthusiasm is like magic! When you cast it over a negative situation, it is spellbinding. Just like a football coach of a losing team at half time, you can create a levitating act that helps people rise out of their failure to a win! Winston Churchill stated, “Success is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm.” 3. Enthusiasm a core trait from your childhood. Think about the enthusiasm of a child. She insists on fun, adventure, and exploration. She doesn’t care what you think. She simply wants to experience life full on, full force, and fulfilled. That little girl is still there…inside you..waiting to play. Let’s go get her. Alders Huxley insists, “The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of the child into old age, which means never losing your enthusiasm.” Stand in choice. Choose enthusiasm. Start today as an enthusiast. Pull the switch in other’s lives. Light up your world. Be Vibrant. Perhaps you can live into the words of Road Dahl, author of all my favorite childhood books like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and James and The Giant Peach. “I began to realize how important it was to be an enthusiast in life. If you are interested in something, no matter what it is, go full speed. Embrace it with both arms, hug it, love it and above all become passionate about it. Lukewarm is no good.” At its deepest level, working with a coach frees you to identify your birthright gifts, discern your deepest passions, and fulfill your highest purpose. A coach can pry you off dead center. As Principal Coach for Vibrant Coaching and Workshop Leader for The Lydia Group, LLC, a collaboration of individuals focused on work, life and spiritual growth, Nicole is on a mission to impact, energize, and influence people to lead a Vibrant Life by engaging the possibilities. As a life and business coach and workshop leader, Nicole views her role as a conduit to release all that you want to achieve. www.thevibrantcoach.com and www.thelydiagroup.com

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The Trumpet Game by Gwen Smith

Today’s Truth

The LORD your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing. Zephaniah 3:17

Friend to Friend

My friend Brad has a little girl named Elizabeth. When Elizabeth was one year old, Brad and his wife taught her some sign language. For the word please, they chose to have her rub her chest. So, as Brad and Jamie taught Elizabeth to say please, they rubbed their own chests and said “please.” Simple enough. Elizabeth had a favorite toy. It’s a plastic knobby toy that holds colorful rings. You know the one with the yellow pole and white base that, without the rings, loosely resembles a trumpet. (C’mon, use your imagination!) So, being the fun, creative parents that Brad and Jamie are, they would dump off the rings and playfully hold up Elizabeth’s toy and make a trumpet sound. Elizabeth loved her parents’ silliness. She laughed and clapped with delight. It became a favorite game in their household.One day, when Brad and Elizabeth were playing the trumpet game, Elizabeth excitedly grabbed the toy and handed it back to him to do it again. Brad encouraged her to say “please” and reinforced the instruction by rubbing his chest. To his surprise, Elizabeth made her way over to him and started to rub his chest instead of her own. Did this please her daddy? You bet it did!Even though Elizabeth mixed up the signals, she communicated with her daddy. Brad was filled with love and joy by her effort. He was pleased that she came to him. Not because she did or didn’t do something right, but just because she is his daughter and he loves her. He adores her. God adores you too. Just because you are His child. His sweet daughter. “How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!” (1 John 3:1a). Have you considered that perhaps God isn’t longing for you

pg 10 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | April 2017

to come to Him with perfect, polished prayers that have fiftycent words and flowery language? Have you thought about the pleasure God experiences when you simply approach him just as you are, warts and all, because He loves you? He delights in your attention. He takes pleasure when you go to Him simply because you are His. I love how the psalmist responded to God’s love:Praise the Lord, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name.Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits—who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases,who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion,who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.(Psalm 103:1-5)

Let’s Pray

Heavenly Father, Thanks for this reminder of Your love for me. Thanks for seeing me as precious and special. I’m amazed by Your love. Help me to come to You as I am each day… without pretenses, pride, or perfection, but simply with Your permission to just be me… because You love me. In Jesus’ Name,Amen.

Now It’s Your Turn

Read Zephaniah 3:17 again silently. Now read it again aloud.

Now read it aloud three more times and insert your name after each ‘you’ …“The LORD your God is with you (insert name here), He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you (name), He will quiet you (name) with His love, He will rejoice over you (name) with singing.” (Zephaniah 3:17 NIV)

More from the Girlfriends

Today’s devotion is an excerpt from Gwen’s book, Broken Into Beautiful, which features her testimony, along with Scriptural truths and stories of how God brings restoration to the hearts of those wounded by painful life experiences. Explore God’s healing and hope for your life today as you read Broken Into Beautiful. To order the book, go to Amazon, your favorite Christian bookstore, or for a signed copy, order from Gwen’s web store.

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 11

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APRIL 22 www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 13

Are you nurturing your greatness? Do you believe that greatness is reserved for only a few special people? If so, then you are underestimating your own greatness and the difference you are making and can make in other people’s lives. We all have greatness in us. We each bring something unique and valuable to this existence that is meant to be shared for the greater good of the world around us. Greatness isn’t about grandeur, heroic acts, or accolades. Greatness is most powerful when it is simply doing what is best, what is right, and what is inspired through simple acts of kindness, awareness and initiative. We each can bring greatness to each day and nurture this greatness in how we live and are present in each day. G = Being giving and generous: Generosity and the act of giving is too often measured by philanthropy on a societal level. However, each of our abilities to be giving and generous are unlimited when you take into consideration time, attention and attitude. Small tokens of kindness in taking time to be there for a friend or even a stranger to assist, allowing someone to take that prime parking space or to go ahead of you in a line, or treating someone to a meal or coffee —these small ways add up to evergrowing ways to make a small difference through impacting others by how we treat them and make them feel important or heard. R = Being resilient and resolute: When something doesn’t go as we had hoped, we can easily get caught up in what didn’t happen, sometimes to the point of lessening our belief in ourselves or what we think we can accomplish. Being resolute about what you want to achieve aids in your ability to be resilient. You accept the setback, not as a measure of your ability, but rather, a clue to approach things differently. Resiliency is powerful learning applied immediately to your next steps forward. E = Being efficient and effective: Being great at what you do for a living or a particular activity is catapulted to an entirely new level of accomplishment when you realize you cannot do it alone and you are never alone in doing it. If you know someone else can be more efficient or effective at a particular task than you, you are being more efficient and effective by handing it off

pg 14 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | April 2017

to them. If you know you work better at certain times of the day, your priorities of action based on this knowledge result in being more productive and getting more done. A = Being accepting and all in: Now more than ever, there is a need to be accepting of others. We also need to accept that there are things that are out of our control, however, we still have total control with regard to how we respond and react. While we may not always agree, which is what makes being human interesting and being American gratifying, we do ourselves and everyone around us a great service by being willing to accept one another’s differences as assets versus assaults. Additionally, being steadfast in what we are trying to accomplish, being all in, is fed by a passion that is more powerful when shared with others who want to be all in with you. T = Using talents and tenacity: Being determined to be all that you can be begins with allowing your unique abilities to blossom and to be shared with the world. Add your own tenacity to see through any challenges and you are unstoppable. Most important in this powerful combination is how others benefit from what your talents bring to them and your tenacity ensures will get done. Best of all, when you combine your talents with others’ talents, together what can be created is unlimited. Consider how you are nurturing your greatness as well as the greatness in others. We each are here for a reason. I believe this and know many reading this column right now believe it as well. Make each day a great one through bringing out the greatness in you and everyone around you. Then just imagine what is possible when greatness is nurtured all around us.

Bio: Sherré DeMao inspires people around the globe through her monthly columns, weekly Insight eZine and national contributing writing. Her books, Me, Myself & Inc. (www.memyselfandinc.com) and 50 Marketing Secrets (www.50marketingsecrets.com) have received national acclaim as Top Business Shelf picks and must-reads.

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Did you know?

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 15

God’s Good Plan by Patricia Middleton

What if you knew what God’s plan was for your life? Would that excite you? How would you respond? God’s very Word brings His marvelous plan into focus. In Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV) He declares His plan to prosper you and not to harm you; plans to give you hope and a good future. In another version this same scripture reveals that God is determined, committed, to plan good things for you. The word “you” is plural, so this is collective for all who are committed to Him. Hallelujah! That means our Heavenly Father loves us so that He has committed to His good thoughts, intentions, and plan over us, as we are committed to Him. He loved us so much that when the first man and woman fell into sin (Adam and Eve), Father God sent His very own son to shed His innocent blood (give up His life) that we could be free. This freedom and redemption is ours by believing upon Jesus and accepting Him as Savior and Lord. Now that’s LOVE! Our purpose was ordained by God. (Psalm 139:16 NIV) The Word tells us that Father God knew us when we were but a thought. He knew us when we were yet in our Mother’s womb. (Psalm 139:13 NIV) Yes, He knew us well before we were born. (Psalm 139:15 NIV) He knows us better than we know ourselves. He is the one who formed us and blew breath into us to give us life. His Word declares we are fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14 NIV) We are made in His image…and we are good! (Genesis 1:26, 1:31 NIV) As a loving Father He wants the best for His children and has a special (specific) plan for each one of us. It is so miraculous to note how every individual is different, yet we are all blessed by the hand of an Almighty God. Just think for a moment about our uniqueness. (culture, ethnicity, language, looks, voice, mannerism, likes/dislikes, personality, etc.) Among these differences we find our uniqueness. God poured special gifts into each one of us…as varied as our finger prints. (helpers, managers, mentors, givers, encouragers, speakers, writers, teachers, musicians, listeners, cooks, organizers, builders,…the list is endless) We are to: 1. Realize we have unique gifts 2. Search for them 3. Sharpen them 4. Use them for the Kingdom of God

pg 16 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | April 2017

How excellent and exciting it is to know that we serve a God who not only knows us, loves us, plans good for us, but also gives each of us special gifts to be used in His Kingdom. We feel best about ourselves when we allow God to use us in those areas He has predestined and ordained. Here is where we find our purpose…the giving of ourselves for His Kingdom plan. Be encouraged. Seek Him with your whole heart. Spend consistent quiet time with Him and His Word. Take time to worship Him, and most importantly, listen. Yes, He most certainly communicates with His children. (Matthew 7:7) Tap into what God has already placed in you. In your relationship with The Father, you will find His Good Plan and Significant Purpose for your life. Drawing close to Him helps us to know Who We Are. We will then begin to step out in those areas where He has purposed for us and use them for His Kingdom. Always remember that it’s not all about you. God will direct you to use the gifts He has given you in order to reach those around you, bless them, and tell them about His salvation plan for their lives. (This is His Kingdom… and The Harvest)

There’s nothing better than loving every minute of what you do as you BLESS the Kingdom of God! His Plan Is Good! Patricia Middleton is a dedicated mother and grandmother, ministry leader, retired educator, tutor, and author. She has published two delightful children’s books that present biblical truth through teachable stories and lovely illustrations: Given Strength and What Shall We Give Him? They can be found at Amazon.com, Barnes&Nobel. com, or OutskirtsPress.com. Patricia has been honored to serve as guest author/reader at various churches, daycares, schools, and summer reading programs. Her greatest passion is sharing God’s Word.

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 17

The Most Joyous Day of the Year by Jan McCanless

I’ve heard it said that April is Mother Nature’s apology for March. That’s certainly true this year -- - - wow, what a winter ! I sat in my den, during these 70+ degree days and watched on the news as the Northeast and Midwest were blasted with cold, ice and snow. My brother and his family are residents of northern Wisconsin, and he has had a lot of snow this year, but, he loves it. I like being able to exit my home on occasion during the winter, so I don’t wish to live in that environment, but, by the same token, he finds the sub tropical temperatures down here stifling. Well, to each his own, I guess. We here in North Carolina, just have found this winter pretty amazing, and, um . . different. One thing about April, it’s a great leveler, nearly everyone has pretty days in April, the flowers come out, the trees leaf out, grass turns green, and all kinds of wonderful, exciting things occur in our environment, AND, when Easter comes in April, we get a bonus!! It’s mind boggling to think of the past 2,000 years and contemplate the events leading up to, and the actual Resurrection itself. What a miraculous gift we have been given, and there is nothing on earth to equal the joy of the Resurrection. When I was a child, I naturally thought of Easter as the time for chocolate bunnies, new shoes, and prettily decorated baskets. It took me awhile to grow up and realize the true meaning of Easter, and to appreciate all that the holiday means. When I think about Easter, I think about renewal, all things fresh and new, and, the life that Our Master lived, all leading up to his greatest of all miracles. It’s a miracle for us as well, and we are given a ‘reprieve’ thru the Easter story. We can start over, secure in the knowledge that death has been overcome, that no matter our sins or transgressions, we are forgiven, and granted eternal life through Him who paid our debt, and died our death. No greater sacrifice or love has ever, nor will ever exist. It’s breathtaking, and very humbling. As you move through the Lenten season, on towards Easter, contemplate all that the day means to us, especially here in this country. We have a great many blessings in America, not the least of which is the right to worship as we please, where we please, and, when we please. The Resurrection has many meanings, but, for me, it reemphasizes the fact that I am a saved child of God, with a Savior who loves me very much. I’ll never look at a cross the same way again! Blessings to you, and Happy Easter !!! Jan McCanless is an award winning author of 13 books, a freelance columnist, and premier southern humorist. a retired teacher. She is grandmother to 9 cherubs and is a commissioned lay minister of the Lutheran faith.

pg 18 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | April 2017

Helpful & Harmful Insects A

lthough itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s virtually impossible to count them, insects are the most diverse group of organisms on the planet. Nine hundred thousand different kinds of insects are known to exist. At any given time, it is estimated that there are around 10 quintillion individual insects living. Gardeners grow frustrated when seeing their gardens infested with insects. In an effort to restore their gardens, homeowners might be tempted to eradicate any bug that moves in their yards. But gardeners would be wise to first learn which insects are hurting their gardens and which can actually help gardens in the long run.

Harmful

Certain insects can be dangerous to animals and plants. The following are a handful of insects that can threaten the vitality of gardens. Aphids: These insects suck on the juice needed to sustain plants, particularly when they congregate. Bald-faced hornet: Hornets tend to be an aggressive species that can sting repeatedly. Should you find a nest near an entertaining space or garden, it can cause trouble. Carpenter ants: These ants will burrow into wood causing damage. They may compromise any wooden structure in and around a home. Locusts: Various species of locust can damage plants and crops due to their voracious appetites. Treehoppers: These small, green insects mimic the look of leaves, and their appetites can affect crops and gardens. Red pavement ant: As they feed on all manner of human food, these ants can quickly overtake areas with their staggering numbers and deliver painful bites.

Grasshoppers: Certain grasshoppers, like the red-legged grasshopper, can decimate food crops and transfer parasites to birds when eaten as prey. Caterpillars: Many caterpillars, the precursor to adult moths, will feed constantly on leaves, stems and other parts of plants. The tobacco hornworm moth caterpillar can damage potato and tomato plants.

Helpful

Plants depend on insects to transfer pollen as they forage, and many insects are quite beneficial to have around. While some pollinate, others are predators of other pests. Antlion: A foe of ants, theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll help eat and control ant populations and pollinate flowers. They pose no threat to humans, either. Big dipper firefly: These colorful insects feast on earthworms, slugs and snails during the larval stage. Fireflies add drama to evening gardens with their twinkling lights. Garden spiders: Although some spiders can be venomous, many are quite handy to have around the garden. Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll help control pest populations that can damage plants and crops. Dragonflies: These arial artists that zip around the yard are consuming smaller insects that would otherwise pester plants and humans. Blue-winged wasp: This wasp attacks the larvae of Japanese beetles, helping to control beetle populations. Bees and butterflies: Butterflies and bees are some of the best pollinators out there, and each can add whimsy to gardens.

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 19

He Said, She Said

What’s Behind the “Yes”?

by David and Amy Washco

hink about how many times a day you say the word, “Yes,” in conversation. A spouse asks you a question, and your response may be, “Yes, dear.” Your manager asks you to do something, and your response is most likely, “Yes, I’ll get right on it.” Have you ever stopped to think about the different meanings of that little word though? As often as we use it and as simple as it sounds, the unspoken meaning behind the word, “yes,” can be pretty complicated.

words can be used.

She said:

I recently attended a training session on “Coaching for Results.” The class was filled with multiple practice sessions (we used to call these role plays), on learning how to seek desired changed behaviors. Changing a behavior requires us to determine if the situation you are confronting is a “will” or “skill” hurdle. I took early notice that my classmates were getting to the “yes,” of their requested behavior change and quickly celebrating because they believed there was agreement between both parties. Thinking back to my earlier morning discussion with my daughter regarding why she didn’t put her clothes away after she said she would, I asked the question to the class, “Is the “yes” you are getting a confirmation yes or a commitment yes?” Nothing like deflating the air of excitement in the room with a simple question.

The word, “yes,” in my house growing up was very black or white. I had either yes, completed my homework or no, I had not. As I’ve gotten older, I find myself listening more closely for intent behind people’s words. Not everyone, including myself, always says what they mean. For example, I now know that when I ask my daughter if she has brushed her teeth, her yes means one of two things: She really has brushed her teeth or more likely, she is heading to brush her teeth as she is responding to my question. (In her mind it counts as a yes if she is literally intending to do it in the next few minutes.) When I ask my husband a question, and he responds, “Yes,” without facial expression - I know it’s a hard agreement I can count on. When he responds, “Yes,” with a big smile I know there’s a story behind the commitment. It usually means he’s worried his agreement may backfire on him in a humorous or not so humorous way. I have a co-worker who when asked to attend a social function always commits. I know her well enough now to interpret her “yes” as “I really want to and will try to but probably won’t be able to.” The intent is there, but the follow-through and commitment is not. If I’m honest, my “yes” is a little bi-polar itself. There are times when I answer, “Yes,” and really drag the word out: “Yeeeessss.” When I do this, I am thinking on the spot, of the huge mountain I have to move to make this commitment happen. My long “yes” really means, “I will do this, but it sure won’t be easy, and I’m not necessarily happy about it.”

He said:

There are many circumstances we face that require a level of effective communication through negotiation. Common examples are buying a car, salaries, cable bills, or medical bills. While dealing with the cable company can be painful, none of these examples are as challenging as negotiating with the people you live with - especially teenagers. Teenagers aren’t the only ones who are confused about the meaning of, “Yes.” I was astonished to discover that there is a 56 page study published by linguists on the use of the words Yes and No. This study highlights the subtleties that can apply to the way these seemingly simple

pg 20 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | April 2017

Throughout my 20 year career I have often employed using the tools I learn for my career and make an effort to apply them at home. Conversely, I have learned that I can leverage the tools I learn from my interactions at home raising our second teenager and make an effort to apply them in my career.

I explained that a confirmation yes is generally innocent, a reflexive response to a black or white question; it can be just a simple affirmation with no promise of action. A commitment yes is the real deal; it’s a true agreement that leads to action. Sometimes we are in such a rush to hear the word “yes”, so can we check the box and move on. We don’t pick up on the subtlety of the body language, facial response or the tone of voice that is saying “yeah, sure, whatever.” Getting past the yes, and seeking affirmation of the result whether at home or at work, takes practice and certainly extra effort. However, the results will be much more promising, for both parties.

David and Amy Washco are survivors of divorce and serve as relationship advocates. With a financial and marketing background, they are married and live in Hickory, NC. David and Amy are parents to 18 year old Savannah and 10 year old Riley.

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 21

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LIVE GOD’S WORD by Nina Heck

This series is designed to take your Christian walk to the next level! Do you truly believe God’s word or understand how it is relevant in your life? Each month we will look into the bible and find answers to many of the questions you may have about God, who He is and how He wants you to live your life. Together, we will not only read God’s word, but find out how to “Live God’s Word” everyday! Materials for this study provided by: Chuck Huskins / reconciletogod.com

Forgiveness :

The Ultimate Gift To Yourself Here’s the question: How do I forgive someone who has hurt me deeply? One of the hardest things God requires you to do as a Christian is forgive people who have hurt you. Believe it or not, even God had to put forgiveness into practice himself. Isaiah 43:25 states, “I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more.”(NIV) Scripture tells us God chose to forgive Israel for His own sake. The word “sake” means: personal cause, interest or benefit. In other words, God forgave for his own welfare and well-being - not because they deserved it. He is choosing to forgive for himself. That concept of forgiveness was a true revelation for me. God asks me to forgive others not for them - but because it is beneficial for me! Forgiveness is hard to do and not our normal reaction when we have been hurt. It really helped me in my personal journey of forgiveness, when someone explained to me that many times forgiveness is a process and doesn’t necessarily take place all at once. Sometimes it comes in multiple layers over a period of time. Here is a breakdown of three different layers of forgiveness we sometimes have to purposefully work through : 1) Make a choice to forgive - When you have been hurt deeply, you probably are not ever going to “feel” like forgiving that person. You have to make a conscious choice to forgive because it is what God requires you to do. Colossians 3:13 is simple and to the point - “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”(NIV) Even though you didn’t deserve it, God forgave you and asks you to do the same with others in your life.

pg 24 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | April 2017

2) Ask God to let your emotions catch up with your decision to forgive - Christ gave the perfect example and reason for forgiveness as He hung on that cross- Luke 23:34 states, “Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”(NIV) You must come to the realization that Satan has blinded people that have hurt you from the truth and they truly don’t know what they are doing. This new perception will allow you to have heartfelt sorrow and sympathy toward them and a true desire for God to open their eyes to the truth. 3) Start praying for God to bless those who have hurt you - Luke 6:27-28 and 32 states, “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them.” (NIV) Prayer is the only way you can develop a true concern for someone’s wellbeing who has hurt you deeply. As you pray for God to bless this person, God will help you become more concerned about their spiritual well-being than about what they did to hurt you. At this point, you will know you have truly forgiven them. It has been said, “Not forgiving someone is like you drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” You have to get that perspective in your mind - it really doesn’t affect the other person, but it can and will affect you in many negative ways. Choose to give someone forgiveness today. It could be the best thing you ever did - not for them - but for yourself!

Nina Heck has been married to her husband Kim, for over 30 years. Their greatest joy is their family - Amber, Austin and his wife Rachel, and their grandchildren Allie, Alek and Ellie. A retired hairstylist, she now has more time for her true calling - teaching God’s word in a way that will make it relevant and easy to understand. You can reach her at ninamiracles@gmail.com

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Ponder Truth by Julie McGrath

God’s Good Boundaries Where True Freedom Lies “I run in the paths of your commands, for you have set my heart free.” Psalm 119:32

Several years ago, I captured an amazing picture of my two little girls. I think it beautifully illustrates the fullness of life we are meant to enjoy within given boundaries as believers in Christ. In it, my girls are racing down a soft, grassy meadow path, lined with brush. The path is hemmed in on both sides, so they can’t just run wherever they want. They have to stay on the path. BOUNDARIES. But, along that meadow path, they can run with great joy and full abandon. FREEDOM.

Recently we added a fence to our new home’s expansive backyard. Oh, how I love a big outdoor place to play! The vision of kids playing with abandon and filling our yard with laughter and noise brings joy to my heart. But somehow, before we fenced in our yard, that vision wasn’t happening. Instead of enjoying the whole space to play, the kids were camped out close to the house. It seemed they were unsure of where the safe zone was, so they kept far away from the edges of our property. Hmmm….

The two realities of Christianity are illustrated – the fullness of Joy and freedom of forgiveness and the discipline of watching our life closely and living according to God’s word. (1 Timothy 4:16)

What is it about boundaries? Webster defines a boundary as a point or limit that indicates where two things become different. I like that. Where two things become DIFFERENT: Like Unsafe or Safe. Anxious or Restful. Uncertain or Clear. Insecure or Secure. Threatened or Protected.

In Psalm 119 we read, “I run in the paths of your commands, for you have set my heart free.”

So we got a fence. And that fence changed everything. Boundaries brought freedom! It brought a freedom to relax and enjoy the whole yard - to run freely with abandon where ever they wanted to. And so it is with God’s ways. He wants us to be FREE. He wants us to live life to the FULL. And so He has set up loving boundaries within which we can experience true freedom. I didn’t always feel this way. There was a long season where I viewed God’s commands as a bit much, pretty strict really. But as I’ve grown in my faith and gotten to know this good, faithful and loving God, my perspective has completely shifted. I didn’t realize that behind the commands of scripture, there is a God with a heart full of love and best intentions. God’s commands are GOOD. God’s boundaries are GOOD. Because GOD himself is GOOD.

pg 26 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | April 2017

What joy filled my heart to see them run along that path in complete freedom, with full abandon! In my mind’s eye, I carry this picture to remind me of how I am to walk with God.

The two key lessons: 1. True and Joyful Freedom…We need a Savior. Researchers say that people don’t know what to do with their shame and guilt. They go to great lengths to be rid of it. Oh, the freedom that we all crave, the desperate need we have for God’s forgiveness! When I finally acknowledged the fact that I was a sinner, when I turned from my sin and gave my life to Christ, I was completely changed. My grip on controlling everything and keeping God at arm’s length was finally overwhelmed by my need for God’s love, grace and forgiveness. I found freedom in God’s forgiveness. I have to admit, when I first heard the message about Christ’s gracious offer of forgiveness, I didn’t really see my need for Him. Years of pride and managing my self-image had to be torn down. But wow. When I finally relented, I discovered a life overflowing with true freedom and joy like I had never known! During that time, when I was really letting the grace of God settle into my heart and mind, three verses became very precious to me:

disbelief, I picked it up to examine it – and what did I discover beneath it? A large gopher hole. While I was faithfully watering my pumpkin and checking on all the “If theclues Sonabout has set you free, are freeI was indeed.” 8:32 external its health and you well-being, unawareJohn of a hidden threat: the underground schemes of several hungry and unwelcome “As far The as the is in from far has He removed gophers. realeast story the the life west, of thatso garden turned out to be our very different from the reality what I103:12. observed on the surface. What was transgressions from us.” ofPsalm really going on underground was gopher city – an extensive tunnel system of a whole family of gophers. “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in

Christ Jesus.” Romans 8:1

This hidden “gopher world” reminds me of a profound truth in each our lives. The person need that I really am is who I am in the hidden person 2.ofGod’s Word…We boundaries. of my heart, the one only God sees…and the hidden reality is the true reality. The protective hemming in of my life that comes from

As we consider the eyes of God, searching for integrity and sincerity in our lives, may each of us humble ourselves in the deepest places of our hearts and minds. May we earnestly desire to please Him in every realities hand in hand – true freedom and embracing life-giving way. (Col. 1:10) May that beautiful hidden reality be what nourishes restraint according God’s loving boundaries. and sustains our mosttoprecious priorities and refines the motivations of our hearts. Only then, will the fruit of our lives (like maybe a big fat May we be joyfully this good path, striving to be faithful pumpkin!), healthyembrace and lasting.

to live according to His ways. He made this beautiful path for us didalong not choose me, and but Ifreedom. chose you and appointed you so that you to“You walk with joy might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last…” – John 15:16

Better yet, let’s run!

Fruit that will last forever…now, that’s a harvest to look forward to! Going deeper…

Father, thank you for the fullness of life I enjoy as a obeying God’s command is so good. As we enjoy and celebrate “…for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward What are youIfilling heart and mind with Is it helping Christian. am soyour thankful to know that each I amday? completely our freedom in Christ, He doesn’t just leave us in the dark to appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” – 1 Samuel 16:7 your walk with God and the growth of good and lasting fruit in your life? free from the guilt of my sin. You are such a holy and fumble our way through life. In His Word, He has given us loving gracious and forgiving Godinwho onlyeventually wants our best! the May This truth calls me to the to highest of standards: integrity before boundaries and principles live by. I really don’t think we God. can Have you let something creep that will destroy good It calls me to the remember that His perspective estimation of place) my life fruitIthat always remember enjoyofthis lifeit’s that youtohave overestimate importance of the value weand place (or don’t is growing in theto garden yourabundant life? Maybe time dig up is the true one. given Helpthings me toinalways the dirt andme. set some order. follow your ways and listen to on the truths of God’s Word. your word. Thank you for setting me free to live a free and A few questions to ask ourselves: Thanks for the opportunity! This realization was also slow coming for me. (I guess I full life.again In Jesus’ name, Amen. I would love to be a part of the 1. What is really going on in the quiet meditations of my heart and efforts of Sophie! With JOY, Julie McGrath :) am unusually a great day it His waslove when what is coming hard-headed) out when I speak?But Amwhat I thinking about God, and IHis embraced God’s wordpeople, as completely true and worthy myis ways? Am I honoring especially those closest to me? of ….or there pride In or jealousy or bitterness my heart that no knows about devotion. 2 Timothy we read,in“All Scripture isone God-breathed but me? “May these words of myrebuking, mouth andcorrecting this meditation my heart Julie McGrath is the wife of John and the proud and is useful for teaching, andoftraining be pleasing in your sight, LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.” – Psalm mom of six. She loves to sing, write and encourage in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly 19:14 others to simply love Christ more! Her favorite equipped for every good work” (2 Timothy 3:16). Not only are verse is Psalm 119:32 “I run in the paths of your his words but on obeying them (John 2. Whattrue, is going when no one will sees?bring Am Ijoy! loving and 14:15, serving commands for you have set my heart free!” She John 15:10-12, 7:13-14, 13:13) my family well Matthew in the privacy of ourProverbs home? Am I spending time still is the co-founder of Making Our Mothering before God, praying to Him, reading His Word and attentive to what He teaching me? Am I path honest confessing sin and asking Soisback to the grassy andwith thehim, picture of my girls running Him freedom to show me heart? …or am Iisbusy and in neglectful, fillingtwo my with andmy joy. There really beauty seeing these

Significant, a ministry to moms of all ages.

pg 24 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | October 2016

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Wedding anniversaries provide opportunities for couples to reflect and relive the excitement of their wedding days. Anniversaries can easily be forgotten amid the hustle and bustle of daily life, but many couples are making concerted efforts to ensure their anniversaries are celebrated as the special occasions they are. A first wedding anniversary is a special one. Some couples celebrate their first anniversaries by enjoying a piece of wedding cake that has been properly preserved in the freezer. Couples may also dance to their wedding songs or enjoy a nice dinner at a favorite restaurant. The first anniversary also is a time to pull out the wedding video or photo album and reminisce about the wedding day. Anniversaries are a great way for couples to celebrate their time together by stepping away from emails, text messages, work obligations, and even mundane everyday tasks to once again remember a day and moment that changed their lives forever. Those who may need a little inspiration celebrating their anniversaries can consider these suggestions. • Have dinner at your reception site. Find out if the reception site, which may be a catering hall or restaurant, serves dinner or brunch. Make a reservation and enjoy celebrating in the spot where the memories all began. • Take a second honeymoon. Honor wedding memories by booking a second honeymoon at a special location. • Throw a party. Use your anniversary as an excuse to have friends or family over for a party. Be sure to include your wedding song on the music playlist. • Create a romantic evening. Rekindle the romance by pulling out all the stops, complete with a nice homecooked meal, candles and mood music. Wedding anniversaries present ideal opportunities for couples to reminisce about their trip down the aisle and all the entertaining moments from the wedding. They’re also opportunities to connect as a couple and focus on each other.

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 29

Give Boring Lunches a Big Boost

Lunch might not be the most exciting meal of the day, and conventional wisdom might not suggest it’s the most important meal. But that does not mean lunch has to be boring. For those who tend to lean on sandwiches for their midday meals, straying from the sandwich norm can provide some variety and flavor. The following recipe for “Warm Tandoori Chicken Wraps” from Vicki Liley’s “Asian Wraps & Rolls” (Periplus) can make for a unique lunch for the whole family or even serve as an easily prepared dinner. Warm Tandoori Chicken Wraps Makes 6 wraps 1⁄3 2 12 2 1 6 1 • • • •

cup plain tandoori paste tablespoons plus 1⁄2 cup plain yogurt chicken tenderloin fillets or 3 skinless, boneless chicken breast fillets carrots, peeled English (hothouse) cucumber, halved and seeded pieces naan clove garlic, finely chopped Leaves from 6 fresh mint sprigs, plus 2 tablespoons finely chopped fresh mint Grated zest and juice of 1 lemon In a small bowl, combine tandoori paste, 2 tablespoons yogurt, lemon zest, and lemon juice. Put chicken in a baking dish. Pour tandoori mixture over and stir until chicken is coated. Cover and refrigerate for 2 hours. Light a fire in a charcoal grill or heat a grill pan. Brush grill or pan lightly with oil. Cook chicken for 4 to 5 minutes on each side, or until juices run clear when pierced with a skewer. Transfer to a cutting board and let rest for 5 minutes. Cut each tenderloin into 2 long strips (if using chicken breast fillets, slice each fillet into 4 long strips). Using a vegetable peeler, cut carrot and cucumber into thin ribbons. To heat naan, follow instructions on packet. In a small bowl, stir 1⁄2 cup yogurt, garlic and chopped mint together. Place naan on a work surface. Divide chicken, cucumber, carrot, and mint leaves among naan. Drizzle with yogurt mixture. Wrap the naan around filling and serve immediately.

pg 30 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | April 2017

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