THE MOST BRUTAL SHOW ON TELEVISION:
METALOCALYPSE SEASON 2 DVD
Dude, these guys ar e fuc k in’ a w e s o m e . T hey ’ v e got v ast num ber s of f ana t ic a l fo llo w e r s, unlim it ed r esour ces, gover nme nt s a t t he ir f e e t a nd t he wor ld’s economy at their w him . U nl ik e t he C a t ho lic Chur c h, the ridiculous ba d - a s s e r y o f w hic h I s p e a k is completely fuc king me t a l in e v e r y p o s s ible w ay. T hey’ r e just as dia bolica l a s t he C a t ho lic s, if no t mor e , although totally m o r e ho ne s t a b o ut it . In stead of attempting to de p ic t t he m s e lv e s a s p io us, holy, righteous and bene v o le nt , t hey s t r i v e t o b e the m ost br utal, uncaring, ha r d c o r e m o t he r f uc k ing g uys on the f ac e of the pla ne t . T hey li v e in M o r d haus, a giant metal mons t r o s it y o f a c a s t le s ha p e d as a dr a gon. T heir e ver y a c t io n is w a t c he d by a n Illuminati-style council c a lle d T he Tr ibuna l, w hic h might be e ven mor e nef a r io us t ha n t he b a nd it s e lf. T he band is guar ded by le g i o ns o f he a v ily a r m e d goo ns wearing blac k hoo d s. T hey ar e Dethklok. T hey a r e t he G o r illa z m e e t s Opeth, a car toon band on a m is s io n t o b e t he m o s t b r uta l band of all tim e. Seriously, man. Blast be a t s, s p e e d - p ic k ing g u it a r d ue ls, gutter v oc als and d ia m o nd - s t ud d e d c o d pieces. It’s w ay mor e b r ut a l t ha n a ny t hing Ad u lt Swim has e v er put out, by a lo ng s ho t – no t lik e that’s saying muc h, tho u g h. Shit ’ s f unny, but let’s f ace it, most of Ad ul t Sw im is fo r p us s ie s. 66
H o w e nt e r t a ining c a n a bunc h o f k id s m a k ing Home Movies r e a lly b e ? W ha t k ind o f d ic k b a g w us s w o uld e v e n c o m e up w it h s o m e t hing lik e t ha t ? A bunc h o f s m a r t a s s r ug r a t s a nd t he d e p r e s s e d , a c c id e nt a lly ins ig ht f ul a d ult s t ha t s urr o und t he m ? I ’ m s ur e t he g uy w ho c a m e up w it h Metalocalypse w o uld b e a t t he s hit o ut o f t ha t g uy a nd p r o b a bly s h ov e a m e t a l- t ho r n e d g u it a r d o w n his t hr o a t . F uc k ye a h. Yo u t hink Neon Genesis Ev angelion is e p ic ? Ep ic is p lay ing a m e t a l s ho w o n a r o a m ing d e a t h p la t fo r m w hi le p e r fo r m ing t he la r ge s t m a s s ex e c ut io n o f d e a t h r o w in m a t e s e v e r, c ho r e o g r a p he d t o t he b r ut a l m us ic . Ep ic is r unning a d e m o lit io n d e r by in t he c a r K e nne dy w a s s ho t in w it h t he c ha ir L inc o ln w a s s ho t in a s t he d r i v e r ’ s s e a t , o r p lay ing t he N a t io nal Ant he m o n b a s s w it h yo ur d ic k . Epic is a laser-fight guitar solo with dr a gons .
*end metal-dude impr ession* I f yo u lik e he a v y m e t a l, a nd d o n’ t m ind ha v in g yo ur s e lf a nd yo ur ge nr e m o c k e d inc e s s a nt ly a n d a c c ur a t e ly, yo u’ ll lik e t his s ho w. T h e m us ic is s o lid a nd G e ne H o g l a n, fo und a t io na l he a v y m e t a l d r um m e r, p lay s t he d r um t r a c k s. B r a nd o n Sm a ll (c r e a t or o f Metalocalypse a nd Home Movies ) p lay s a w ic k e d g uit a r, t o o, a nd he d o e s t he r if f s fo r t he s ho w. If yo u lik e Ad ult Sw im ’ s p r o g r a m m ing yo u’ r e p r o b a bly a lr e a dy w a t c hing.
I f yo u lik e e p ic c a r t o o ns, yo u’ ll lik e t his s how. I f yo u lik e a ny o f t he a b ov e c ombinations of things, then this show is your s . T hr ow up some hor ns. I w as ha ppy to do so w hen I went with two friends to Baltimor e to see Dethklok li ve. Br andon Small, Gene Ho glan and other musicians played li ve with a pr ojection of the band going on behind them. Half of the concer tgoer s wer e car toon f ans, and the other half wer e metal f ans w ho wer e into the show and the music , and e ver yone seemed to enjoy the show. Her e’s your bump: buy this DVD. It is funnier than wearing human leather, although it’s got that, too.