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Are you true to you or do you hew to what others think of you? In the Land of Me, let independence be your key. Want a tattoo? Wear it proudly. It’s been a respectable tradition for thousands of years. High tops at 70? Game on! Dress
from the inside out, not from fashion magazines. Nobody remembers a copy cat. That gap between your two front teeth? It’s adorable, not a dental disaster.
Just ask Lauren Hutton. Don’t give away your power to politicians, preachers or potential lovers. Be as brave as you can, but don’t apologize for being shy or a lover of solitude. Not everyone needs the spotlight, but everyone can shed light. Your mistakes? They’re just rough drafts of the story of your life. Every day is the chance to write a new chapter in the Book of You, to discover your shadow, your self, the sweet spots of your soul. Cover copy by Nikki Hardin, art by Jackie Besteman
“Be yourself. Everyone else is taken.” Oscar Wilde
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From the publisher
The Land of Me Issue From the Founder
Jackie Besteman
Jackie was raised in South Africa and Holland and settled in Toronto with her family after high school. After graduating from Ontario College of Art and Design, she started making her colorful illustrations for many publications and has been doing so for over 20 years. Going digital 10 years ago and recently learning Illustrator has opened up new doors and her style has evolved into what she calls “Urban Whimsy. ” In the last few years she has started making patterns. She is currently making maps for vogue.com and has also created Floria Earth Girl. jackiebesteman.com
In 1985, I was down on my luck and backed into a tight corner. A relationship of seven years had ended with a thud in a cliché. My big job in computer software development had sighed to a complete stop. Worse, I had lost every shred of belief in myself both personally and professionally. I was paralyzed by self-doubt and depression. When an out-ofthe-blue opportunity came up to move to South Carolina with friends, I didn’t as much jump at it as climb aboard what seemed to be the last train to nowhere. As luck would have it, I ended up on an island of hippies, drunks, carpenters, musicians, writers and a few people like me who had run out on or been run out of their old lives. No more big job, no more Lifetime-drama love affair, no more money. The first few years, I worked in a downtown inn cooking and booking and sometimes hauling coal up the stairs. I clerked in the island liquor store with my own gun and plenty of time to read all day. I hung out on the porch of our winter rental drinking wine and watching the island turn. At the time, it seemed like the end of all my dreams, but in hindsight I think it was a circuitous, universedriven plot to put me in the right place to give birth to a new version of myself even though it took years to gestate. After I started skirt! in 1994, I eventually moved our office into a building that by chance I later discovered had been a skirt factory in the early 1900s. It still stuns me in retrospect. That’s when I knew for sure that there was nothing random about my journey. Whenever my life seems to dead-end now, I try to remember that when the universe calls, it’s rarely a wrong number. You might be on Hold for a while, but eventually you’ll get the message.
Nikki
In our “Land of me” issue, we introduce you to three smart, inspirational and strong women who make a living coaching, organizing and training us to be our best when we can’t quite do it on our own. There is nothing wrong with asking for help; even the Bionic Woman and Superwoman needed help out of a jam from time to time! Me? I’ve always had “nervous energy.” These days, they’d call it a Type A personality. To help release my pent-up energy, I would exercise, and over the years it has become a habit—or, as some might say, an obsession—but all along building that connection between my feeling strong and confident with exercise. I wanted to share my passion with others, so I set a goal to become a National Academy of Sports Medicine-certified trainer. I studied, took the test, failed. Studied more and passed. Whew. One of the first women I trained was in her early 30s and had had a stroke. When we started, she could barely talk, it was difficult for her to walk, and the right side of her body was incredibly weak. As the weeks passed and we built a relationship and trust, her speech slowly came back and the right side of her body became nearly as strong as the left. But most importantly, she was becoming more independent, confident and proud of what she was able to overcome. I still get emails from Christine just checking in, letting me know how she finished in a 5K or asking for tips to prepare for her first half-marathon. Initially, I wanted to be a trainer to inspire others, but it was me who was inspired—by Christine’s will to beat the odds. October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month and there are so many other inspiring women (and men) fighting to raise awareness, raise funds and find a cure. Let’s take a moment to pause and remember all the women who are facing or have faced breast cancer.
Kathy
publisher@skirtchicago.com
From the Editor
When I started thinking about this month’s topic, I thought back to how many times I’ve sought out the help of other women. There were the teen angst years during college when I met with a school therapist once—I think I just needed a good cry; luckily she had a full box of tissues. There was the year I vowed to super-charge my exercise routine and hired a bubbly personal trainer to whip me into shape. She did. About 15 years ago, I set out to train for a 500-mile charity bike ride, and it was all women who inspired me, motivated me and kept me pedaling my little heart out. These days, the help I need revolves around home and family. A professional stager to help sell my condo (good idea to bring the lounge chair up from the basement); my savvy accountant who is just a really cool person in her own right; a monthly cleaning lady to keep me sane (at least for the day the house is clean); and last, but far from least, my mom who almost never says no when I ask her to watch my daughters (I’m a lucky girl). In this issue, you’ll meet a few more women who have made it their business to help other women. And hope you enjoy the issue.
Elisa
editor@skirtchicago.com
nikki.hardin@skirt.com skirt!magazine
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photo: Susan Aurinko
JEWELRY DESIGN 8 South Michigan Avenue Suite 2203 | 312.263.2264 | www.ellieco.com
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Founder/National Editor Nikki Hardin editor@skirt.com Publisher Kathy Mitchell publisher@skirtchicago.com Creative Director Caitilin McPhillips caitilin.mcphillips@skirt.com Editor Elisa Drake editor@skirtchicago.com Regional Vice President Patti Ruesch patti.ruesch@morris.com
The Land of Me Issue
Account Executives Kathleen Frey kathleen.frey@skirtchicago.com Christine Griffith christine.griffith@morris.com
Photography Heath Sharp aheathphoto.com
skirt! is all about women... their work, play, families, creativity, style, health and wealth, bodies and souls. skirt! is an attitude...spirited, independent, outspoken, serious, playful and irreverent, sometimes controversial, always passionate.
Shelby Kroeger shelbykroeger.com
CALENDAR SUBMISSIONS
Ad Design Cristina Young CHSads@skirt.com Contributing Writer Tracy Marks
Fashion Stylist Danielle Sliva luxurylivingfashion.com Advertising Sales 312.566.5221 publisher@skirtchicago.com CALENDAR SUBMISSIONS Send information to editor@skirtchicago.com, or mail to skirt! Chicago, 370, Chicago, IL 60604
skirt! is published monthly and distributed free throughout the greater Chicagoland area. skirt! reserves the right to refuse to sell space for any advertisement the staff deems inappropriate for the publication. Unsolicited manuscripts must be accompanied by a self-addressed, stamped envelope. Letters to the editor are welcome, but may be edited due to space limitations. Press releases must be received by the 1st of the month for the following month’s issue. All content of this magazine, including without limitation the design, advertisements, art, photos and editorial content, as well as the selection, coordination and arrangement thereof, is Copyright © 2013, Morris Publishing Group, LLC. All Rights Reserved. No portion of this magazine may be copied or reprinted without the express written permission of the publisher. SKIRT!® is a registered trademark of Morris Publishing Group, LLC.
Send information to editor@skirtchicago.com, or mail to skirt! Chicago, 224 S. Michigan Ave., Suite 370, Chicago, IL 60604
FEATURES
Tiny Tattoos Debra Larson .............................................................................................. 10 The First Big Break Stacy Appel ...................................................................................................28 On the Page, On Stage Lauren Hopkins Karcz ..............................................................................37
IN EVERY ISSUE
Letter from the Founder ...........................................................................5 Women make more than 80% of all purchasing decisions.
Letter from the Publisher..........................................................................5
Letter from the Editor ................................................................................5
Women spend almost 2 of every 3 healthcare dollars.
He’s So Original ...........................................................................................12
Oct/Nov Products......................................................................................13 Women control 2/3 of the nation’s disposable income.
Typewriter Notes .......................................................................................14
25 Things That Make Us Happy..........................................................18
Women influence 80% of all car sales.
skirt! Style .....................................................................................................20
Crave ..................................................................................................................23 skirt! Says.......................................................................................................26
Meet....................................................................................................................32
Skirt of the Month......................................................................................33
Calendar ...........................................................................................................34
XOXO Kathy ................................................................................................38 skirt!magazine
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Illustration by The Pretty Paperie. theprettypaperie.com
I had new clarity that we are not in control. We are not the final authors of our lives, nor are the endings ours to write. Debra Larson
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Tiny Tattoos
Our first baby was six days old when my husband Andy said, “I have something to tell you.” We were standing at the foot of our bed after I’d just set our sleeping newborn in his bassinet. “It wasn’t good news about my neck.” My heart lurched. Still off balance from a 36-hour labor and struggling through ongoing sleep deprivation, I couldn’t absorb that Andy was telling me he had cancer. The soft fleece of his shirt pressed on my cheek as he embraced me, and we stood together silently for a long time. Six weeks earlier, the doctor had insisted the almond-sized lump on his neck was a run-of-the-mill benign mass. A swollen lymph node, harmless, happened all the time. They sent him home with instructions to stop worrying and focus on his baby’s arrival. “You mean they’re not going to biopsy it?” I’d asked, incredulous. It wasn’t like any swollen gland I had ever seen. “If that doctor won’t do it, we’ll find one who will.” Andy’s doctor agreed to a biopsy. Three days before I went into labor, Andy SKIRT IDEAS 1.6 MECH:Layout 1 5/21/07 4:44 had the simple operation. The doctor released him, saying, “Now relax, everything will be fine.” It wasn’t. Andy was now telling me he had stage-three nasopharyngeal carcinoma, manifested as a tumor in the cavity behind his nose. This rare and serious cancer was not uncommon in Asian males and English furniture workers. Andy was neither. He was a 31-year-old Caucasian American. Now he was a dad, too. But the joy of our newborn, John, was riddled with worry. Would Andy witness little John’s first steps? First words? Would our baby even know his father? Every muscle ache or sniffle Andy had could be the beginning of the end. I feared the cancer had reached his bones. Or his lungs. If so, it would have been untreatable. We waited for symptoms to appear. It just didn’t seem right that Andy should die so soon after having a child. Nor did it seem fair that after charming me in high school and dating me off and on for almost a decade, our “forever” should last only three years. Our story was not ready for an ending. The next six months were full of tests, each holding our lives in the balance. Weekends were particularly miserable. Worst-case scenarios played out in my head as we awaited test results that only seemed deliverable on Mondays. Andy became a marked man. They tattooed him with tiny but visible dots, the reference points for the radiation machine. And a constant reminder of his sentence. He had one on either side of his neck and one centered on his collarbone. Why did the marks have to be permanent? Somehow this seemed like a lack of confidence in the efficacy of the treatment. It was as if they could disfigure him because they didn’t expect him to have to live with it. Concerned family members offered suggestions. “Perhaps you shouldn’t have any more children…until, you know.” I remember thinking, Know what? That their father would be around? Sometimes metastases didn’t show up for a decade, or more. Did that mean we should wait, fearfully, for ten years, and if my husband were still around we would work on creating the rest of the family? Every night, after every nursing session, I walked with baby John in our freezing, old house. If I didn’t, he would scream, and Andy needed quiet to sleep. So I paced with my baby an hour at a time, in the dim orange glow of the streetlights that seeped in at the edges of the drawn shades. Sometimes I fell into a mantra as I walked, my arms burning with fatigue. “Please, baby,” I’d whisper with one step, and, “Sleep, baby,” with the next. I often paused at the crucifix hanging in our hallway. “Please, God, let my baby have a father. Please, God, let us have just ten years.” I wanted to know what my husband, whom I’d met in high school, would look like as a 40-yearold. In those silent early morning hours when the world sleeps but lone minds stir, I thought about how we believe that we control our lives. We guide our futures with the jobs we take, the person we marry, the friends we cultivate. But it’s a false sense of security. At any moment, those choices can mean nothing. I had new clarity that we are not in control. We are not the final authors of our lives, nor are the endings ours to write. But comfort comes in forcing oneself to carry on. Letting fear take hold kills us, because it removes us from our daily life. Throughout the years to come, we welcomed three more children, immersing ourselves in the demands and distractions of parenthood. Over time our worries faded, but it took five years before cancer wasn’t my immediate thought when Andy didn’t feel well. The dread was still there, though, and likely always will be. Andy traveled to Portland in August to help John settle into his dorm room for his first year of college. And those permanent dots on his neck? Now I like them. The center one peeks out at the “V” of his shirt, right at my eye level. A spot unnoticed by most has the power to flip my sour mood in a blink. He lives.
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Debra Larson lives on Lake Tahoe’s north shore. Visit her at debralarsononline.com. skirt!magazine
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Photo by Shelby Kroeger
he’ssooriginal
Michael Goldstein has tools, will fix. Able to climb tall ladders in a single bound, wrangle unruly garbage disposals with one hand, and make your honey-do list disappear. It’s a bird. It’s a plane. It’s the Mensch with a Wrench. Growing up, Michael Goldstein was that kid who disassembled everything just to see how it worked and then magically put it all back together. Today, the Chicago father of 5-year-old twins is somewhat of a stereotype anomaly: a nice Jewish boy who knows his way around a tool shed. And he puts his skills to work, repairing ceiling fans, building shelving systems, babyproofing and more. Behind the wrench, Michael truly is a “mensch” (Yiddish translation: an honest and decent person). “My clients trust me because I treat their homes like my own mother’s, whether it’s a $900-a-month apartment or a $900,000 home.” What do you like about reading skirt!? It’s down-to-earth and has a good sense of humor too. What do you like about wearing a skirt? It definitely was comfortable, easy to move in. Hmmm…could be my new uniform (if it weren’t for the view when I’m on a ladder). 12 oct/novw2013 skirt!magazine
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dermelect.com
Chic purses that double as phone chargers. everpurse.com
5 Pecking Order. ‘Nuff said.
1 3
Luxury Bears tailgating with E3 VIP. e3vip.com
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Dermelect’s Indulguence polish supporting Breast Cancer Awareness Month.
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Freshly popped! Too cute. At Psychobaby, psychobabyonline.com
Secret deodorant’s “Mean Stinks” campaign.
45,000-strong 36th Chicago Marathon.
Thanksgiving Day Parade turns 80!
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Things That Make Us Happy
Immense fun and talent at Circus in the Parks. circusintheparks.org
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14 Sweetness from the local bees of Chicago Honey Co-Op.
13 New non-chain java spot.
Contemporary coziness at the Radisson Blu Aqua.
Free lunchtime concerts at the Cultural Center.
The scrumptious smorgasbord at Plum Market.
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Flavorful meatballs at J. Rocco.
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Deb Mell, the first openly lesbian Alderman (33rd Ward) in the city. Exhale’s spa membership with primo perks. exhale.com
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20 The legacy of “Breakfast Queen” Ina Pinkney: her recipe-filled cookbook.
Half-price happy hour at RA Sushi.
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22 Pets in costume at Chicago Botanic Garden.
21 No-contract, charitable phone company. givmobile.com
23 Happy luggage from Heys USA.
Leopard and red ankle-strap flats from locally run Gilt.com
One clothing item; many options. hipknoties.com
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25 Eli’s pumpkin pie cheesecake. skirt!magazine
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10 Signs Fall Is Here It’s no longer light on my morning runs. Brach’s candy corn and pumpkins.Yum! Starbucks pumpkin latte is back. The city is full of suburbanites proudly sporting their blue & orange. Time to set our clocks back an hour. No more pedicures! Finally something to watch on TV. Breaking out my cowboy boots. Oktoberfest. Orange is the new black.
~Kathy
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Something Wicked Your Way Comes Stop in daily between October 30 and December 21 and enter to win two front row seats to the award-winning musical, Wicked, celebrating its 10th anniversary.* For dozens of world-class retailers AND a chance to win the hottest tickets in town, rejoicify and festivate at Block Thirty Seven! 2 FREE tickets awarded to a daily winner for that day’s show!
The Disney Store • Akira • Magnolia Bakery • Sephora • Godiva Chocolates • Anthropologie • Steve Madden • Zara *Visit Block Thirty Seven for all details and rules regarding ticket giveaway.
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P R E S S PA U S E
Enjoy your sheets for 15 e x t r a minutes in the morning.
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Alcala’s, Boutique 1739 W. Chicago Ave. 312.226.0225
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P R E S S PA U S E
Turn off the chatter and listen to your breath.
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oct/nov
From the skirt! Test Kitchen Late Night Date Snack Cook 8-10 cups of popcorn the old-fashioned way. Pour into a large mixing bowl. Mix the bacon bits with the maple syrup and microwave for 15-30 seconds. Drizzle over the popcorn and share sticky fingers with your date. Pair it with a Nuts-forYou drink of two ounces of vodka and two ounces walnut liqueur (per drink) over ice. The Shhh! Playlist “Get Here” Oleta Adams “All the Things You Are” Andy Bey “I Can’t Give You Anything But Love” Rufus Wainwright “Quiet Storm” Smokey Robinson “(They Long to Be) Close to You” The Carpenters
Popcorn (enough for 8-10 cups) 3 -5 Tbsp. Bacon Bits 3-5 Tbsp. Maple Syrup Vodka Walnut Liqueur
Taste of the Town
Comfort Food Nothing makes the folks at skirt! melt quite like a simple, sinful übergooey grilled cheese sandwich. And Little Market Brasserie’s new guestchef series is melting our hearts, too. Each month through February, LMB’s chef Ryan Poli will feature a different local chef’s dreamy grilled cheese creation. A portion of the “Melts for Meals” proceeds benefits Meals on Wheels Chicago. 10 E. Delaware St. (inside the Talbott Hotel). Reservations 312.640.8141
Chocoholics Welcome Hansel and Gretel’s witch might have been on to something—building with candy. Thankfully, chef Alain Roby is all sweet, no scary. The internationally acclaimed pastry genius won three Guinness World Records: Tallest Cooked Sugar Building, Tallest Chocolate Sculpture and Longest Candycane. This year, he’s aiming to wow with a 1,000 pound chocolate Blues Brothers replica at the Chicago Chocolate Festival. Equally tantalizing, bite-sized treats at Roby’s Geneva-based All Chocolate Kitchen. chicagochocolatefestival.com
Finders Keepers Restaurants run by women always get our attention, especially when the owner is a beloved local. Amy Morton, daughter of late restaurant legend Arnie Morton, recently opened Found Kitchen in Evanston. By her side are two other leading ladies: chef Nicole Pederson who changes up the menu by season; and cocktail queen Jan Henrichsen. Furnished with an eclectic mix of antique and retro “finds,” the space is welcoming, warm and just right to get lost in the moment. foundkitchen.com
What’s in Store Tasting menus are here to stay and all around. Choose wisely, we say, and experience it at its best at Storefront Company in Wicker Park. We sat at the bar for our dinner, watching the chefs scurry neatly around the open kitchen, an impressive sight with even more amazing results and impeccable wine pairings. Ending with eggplant ice cream was a pleasant surprise. thestorefrontcompany.com
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OneonOne
Ellen Burton is a dream weaver. You simply cannot help but be motivated by Ellen Burton. With bright enthusiasm and wise counsel, she helps women determine what they want, then guides them to make it happen. Ellen offers individual, group and executive coaching on her own and with Tiara, International LLC, a global women’s leadership development company. Like many of her clients, she too was “stuck in a six-figure-job” that simply wasn’t gratifying. After 10 minutes with a coach, Ellen realized her own professional purpose. Now, she provides the tools and support for other people to reconnect with their values, passions and talents, and navigate the path to live their best lives. Her quick tip to start feeling less overwhelmed and disconnected? “Be a human being instead of a human doing. We’re too busy and often make harried decisions out of fear. Slow down. Take deep breaths and small steps. Zero in on what provides joy, and carve out room for that first.” tiaracoaching.com; ejburton.com
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the average
me female
Blinks 2x as much as men
Buys more cars than men
Craves more sex in the summer Drives miles out her way to avoid the possibility of getting lost using a shortcut
Gets at least 15 mosquito bites a year
Watches TV 2.8 hours a day
Spends 12 minutes in the shower per day
Can only keep a secret for about 47 hours
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SKI RT! SAYS: Sometimes it really is all about you.
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2013
Photo by Shelby Kroeger
OneonOne
Kelley Long makes sense out of dollars. Back when she was a bank trust officer, Kelley Long noticed that most of her female clients were intimidated by money. “They’d hand the financial reins to their husbands… which worked out fine until they became widowed or divorced,” she explains. “In emotionally intense times like those, no one wants to figure out finances.” As a Certified Financial Planner with Shepard Schwartz & Harris, Kelley mentors financial responsibility, empowering women to face their fiscal fears and take back control. Kelley also serves as vice president of the Professional Women’s Club of Chicago and volunteers with the National CPA Literacy Commission’s Feed the Pig program. Some of her take-home advice: Housing shouldn’t exceed 28 percent of your gross income, and combined debt payments (mortgage, car, school loans) less than 36 percent. “Oh, and find out how your financial advisor is compensated. If he’s paid to sell insurance, don’t expect a free financial plan that doesn’t hinge on life insurance!” ssh-cpa.com
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Working in a hospital department is rewarding in so many ways, but as we all know, heaven help you if you come down with anything not immediately terminal. Stacy Appel
T
hey say winning isn’t everything, but standing here before you tonight, gazing out into a sea of rapt friends, admirers, co-workers, a couple of neighbors (hey, Wilson family!) and even seat-fillers, I have to say it feels pretty darned wonderful. I don’t think I ever expected anything like an Oscar when I began. I was simply motivated by collaborating with an amazing group of people, and I wanted to create a body of work I can look back on and be proud of one day. So this means something, that’s what I’m trying to tell you. Wow. Thank you all so much. Receiving the award tonight for Best Office Illness means I was chosen from a group of outstanding fellow nominees, all of whom are equally deserving, if not more so. Sue Hobbs gave a mesmerizing performance in “My Ankle, Probably Sprained, But Very Possibly Broken,” and no one could help but be moved by Terry Gianelli’s “Middle-Aged Chicken Pox,” her first serious venture after a spate of humorous cameos. Vince Sandusky’s heart-wrenching turn in “Headache, Stomach-Ache, You Don’t Wanna Know” surely deserves a mention, and Poppy Moreland, nominated three years successively for similar roles, outdid herself again this year in the edgy, thrilling “I Think I’m a Goner.” These are only the top nominees, culled from so many accomplished performances. I’ve had the good fortune of working with these folks every day, and I know them well, though Poppy’s in Accounting so I actually only see her at staff parties. Each contender was convincing, dedicated, and worked harder than anyone could guess to wring emotion from the smallest elements of their individual stories. If a separate award category existed for “Best Family Drama Resulting in an Unexplained Three-Day Absence,” it would unequivocally be granted
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The First Big Break
5 FALL TOP
musT HAVEs
to Paul Jasper McNab, our mail clerk, whose brother and father were arrested outside Dooley’s bar the same day his sister delivered her first child. P.J., we salute you. We’ll get that mail backlog sorted out eventually; glad you’re back. I didn’t prepare a speech for tonight, since naturally I never dreamt of winning and I think I left my notes in the car. I’m told I only have 44 seconds before the orchestra cuts me off. So I’m going to try to acknowledge a few of the folks who helped me on this journey into the limelight tonight, and forgive me if I leave anyone out. First, I’d like to thank the entire cast and crew of “My Walking Pneumonia”—my general practitioner, his cranky receptionist who, after I threw a very small hissy fit, got me in without an appointment the same day I called, and the terrific radiology staff at Arden Hospital. I can’t forget the cute pharmacist at Pinewood Drugs, who asked me on three different occasions how I was feeling, and proffered complimentary tissues on the afternoon I broke down crying. I wouldn’t be up here tonight without the creative genius of Pfizer and the other pharmaceutical companies who manufacture the astronomically expensive antibiotics my physician ordered. It’s not their fault none of them worked very well, and if I’d gotten well quickly, there could have been no dramatic arc. Thanks more than I can say to my health insurance plan, which first tried to wriggle out of paying but eventually was entirely sensible about the legal ramifications of denying both my chest x-ray and the brand-name drugs. After a hundred phone calls back and forth, I almost feel as if we’re friends now. Speaking of friends, I’d be remiss in not thanking my wonderful BFF Hayley, who squealed, “No way! My mother had that!” or “My boyfriend had that!” every time I mentioned a new symptom. Working in a hospital department is rewarding in so many ways, but as we all know, heaven help you if you come down with anything not immediately terminal. So I’d like to acknowledge my boss at the hospital, Dr. Jack Kip, who said, “You don’t have pneumonia! Who told you that?” but nevertheless took time from his busy office schedule to splash my X-ray up on one of our wall viewers and have a look for himself. I believe he’s watching this from home tonight. Remember, Dr. Kip? You said, “That’s only a little bitty pneumonia. You don’t need time off.” Well, I guess you were wrong about that, you big goofball—I was pretty sick there for a while. But here I am, healthy at last, proud new owner of a gold statuette, so let’s put all that behind us. Which reminds me, I’d like to say a huge thanks to everyone in the Human Resources Department for overriding Dr. Kip on the sick-leave pay. My biggest debt of gratitude is owed to my parents, who unfortunately can’t be with us but I feel as if they’re here in spirit. They prepared me for tonight’s triumph from the time I was small, remarking on every slight symptom, theirs and my own, and imagining the endless possibilities. They let me stay home from school at the first sign of a sniffle or a headache. When I was well, they pretty much ignored me, but when I was sick, I was treated like royalty. Daytime TV, French toast in bed, magazines, hot compresses, a new Barbie, you name it. I wish they could see me now. Even after I’d gone off to college, Mom inundated me with newspaper clippings about stroke symptoms or how to tell if you’re having a heart attack. The summer I came down with mono and ended up in the hospital for a week, Dad totally freaked out. So this award is really as much for them as it is for me. Gracias and then some to all the little people—those who sent cards, called, brought videos, books or pistachio gelato. “My Pneumonia” would never have had this long a run without your tender attentions. And you can’t win a Best Office Illness award without a great office: Gina, our meticulous front-desk receptionist, called almost daily to keep me up on all the office gossip, and Dr. Kip’s wife Sally dropped by to tell me I wasn’t fired after all. She said Jack had only been kidding about getting my “butt back in the office by Friday or else.” I can hear the orchestra starting up, so before they cut me off, I’d like to send a high five to my cats watching at home—don’t barf on the white bedspread, okay, guys?—and to coworker Poppy Moreland, who I’m told fainted in her seat a few minutes ago and was rushed to the E.R. Way to go, Poppy. Looks like you’ll miss the after-party, but what a great head start on next year’s nominations. Thank you, Academy, and thank you to all who believed in “My Pneumonia” when no one else did. You kept it going. I owe this first big break to you. Stacy Appel is an award-winning writer in California whose work has been featured in the Chicago Tribune and other publications. She has also written for National Public Radio. She is a contributor to the book You Know You’re a Writer When… by Adair Lara. Contact Stacy at WordWork101@aol.com..
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P R E S S PA U S E
Take a shower that washes away work.
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Photo by Heath Sharp
OneonOne
Sarah Giller Nelson manages mayhem with creative thinking. Searched everywhere for your phone recently? Piled up another stack of random papers? Got a “junk” drawer? Meet your new best friend: Sarah Giller Nelson. Founder of organizing business Less is More, Sarah finds a place for everything and puts everything in its place. After assessing clients’ bad habits, she creates simple, insightful solutions that work, both short- and long-term. And she uses her advice on herself too. Like the clothes hamper in her bathroom that went unused by her husband while a pile of dirty duds accumulated in his walk-in closet. Solution? A basket in his closet. For a client who piled papers on the floor instead of in her filebox, Sarah simply removed the box top and, presto, filing happened. Sarah comes in and unburdens, leaving clients with a sense of freedom. “Often, our possessions start to own us,” she says. “With fewer items—pieces that give us joy—we’re actually happier.” lessismoreorganizers.com
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Photo by Heath Sharp
skirt!meets
As editor of industry pub “Plate,” Chandra Ram keeps up with chefs and food trends around the world and cooks up a mean paella.
Favorite Shoes: Cole Haan heels
My Pet: Two white kitties (one who’s camera-shy)
Right Now I’m Reading: An Everlasting Meal, by Tamar Adler
Favorite Accessory: A wood and crystal beaded bracelet
My Celebrity Crush is: Michelle Obama
Favorite Restaurant: Sunday Dinner Club Where I Shop Locally: Stitch in Bucktown Dream Vacation: A month in Spain...or even just a week! My Workout: Yoga at The Lab Favorite Label: DVF Where I Get My Coffee: La Colombe on Randolph My Handbag: Coach; I’m from Kentucky, so I tend to buy purses that look like saddles One Item Always In My Purse: Dental floss My Lucky Charm: A small river stone from 2012’s Meals on Wheels Celeb Chef Ball VIP dinner place setting Where You’ll Find Me On Saturday Mornings: Running with Fleet Feet running club Signature Scent: Tom Ford Azure Lime My Guilty Pleasure: A giant bowl of buttered popcorn for dinner Favorite Feminist: Hillary Clinton My Muse: Former Gourmet editor Ruth Reichl I’d Like To Learn To: Play the banjo My Cocktail: Celery gimlet My Manicure: Paraffin manicure at Nail Gallery, clear polish My Home Page Is: plateonline.com My Favorite Beauty Product Is: Dr. Hauschka lip balm If Not Chicago...the Pacific Northwest for the wine and hiking Describe Yourself In 3 Words: Eating, drinking, list-making My Favorite Trip Was: Learning to scuba dive in the Great Barrier Reef
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Illustration by Monkey Mind Design. monkeymindesign.etsy.com
Skirt from Bett’s Boutique, 678 Central Ave., Highland Park, 847.432.0338
Skirt of the Month
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Illustration by Monkey Mind Design, Unique Paper Expressions. monkeymindesign.etsy.com
2013
march
theadvisors
unwind
8. 18.
Husband and wife activists/Pulitzer Prize-winning journalists Sheryl WuDunn and Nicholas Kristof are keynote speakers for this year’s Chicago Foundation for Women benefit luncheon, raising money for more than 60 nonprofits that serve women and girls. cfw.org In conjunction with Fashion Focus Chicago is SOiree CHICago, hosted by Ellie Thompson, who presents her new Primal Dreams jewelry collection, and Thierry Roger, showcasing custom couture. 5-9 pm. 8 S. Michigan Ave., Suite 2203. RSVP to 312.263.2264.
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3-6
We found the most incredible, washable, packable, layerable clothing line from Canada’s Sympli brand and, lucky for you, Bett’s is having a trunk show. 678 Central Ave., Highland Park.
14-20
3.
Always wanted your handwriting analyzed? It’s one of the fun activities at the Women’s Exchange Ladies’ Night, celebrating the organization’s 30 years. Michigan Shores Club, 911 Michigan Ave., Wilmette, womens-exchange.org
Who deserves a spa treatment more than you? Seize the moment, because Spa Week offers $50 services at Avanti, Bliss, Exhale, Red Door and more. spaweek.com
18.
Three hundred children lend their voices to Red Jacket Optional, a fundraising gala to benefit the music education programs of the Chicago Children’s Choir. Do good and party down. ccchoir.org
5.
17. 19.
Give yourself four hours of introspection, reflection and rejuvenation at Tiara’s half-day workshop and lunch for women. 10 am-2 pm. 900 W. Jackson Blvd. tiaracoaching.com Models of the annual Rush University Fashion Show include Brittany Payton, “Gone Girl” author Gillian Flynn and “Biggest Loser”’s Danni Allen. Benefiting lung cancer research, it’s the country’s oldest fashion show. thefashionshow.org Sustainability stars at the second-annual Green Ribbon Gala featuring cocktails, apps, entertainment, easy eco lifestyle changes and a “green” fashion show at American Junkie, 15 W. Illinois St. facebook.com/greenribbongalachicago
6.
18. 25.
Your 10K run provides 10 meals to Americans in need during the Run10 Feed10 fundraising race sponsored by Women’s Health magazine and FEED. run10feed10.com
Finally, the parents get a turn at the hands-on exhibits at Kohl Children’s Museum at its Grown Up Play Date, complete with face-painting and pumpkin-painting.Yes, there’s booze too. kohlchildrensmuseum.org
Get your hands dirty with Shedd Aquarium volunteers during Great Lakes Action Days.You’ll clean the beach, remove invasive plants and more. 63rd Street Beach, 10 am. RSVP to rbogert@sheddaquarium.org.
unwind Besa Kosova
2013
nov
17.
Bring new or gently used books to Reading Rocks! at Marcello’s for chances to win door prizes. The Reach Out and Read Illinois event also includes music, kiddie goodie bags and crafts. Noon-3 pm. 645 W. North Ave.
14 17.
Brush up on CPR skills for adults, children and infants, plus other first aid essentials at Kevin Hammett Studio, 1001 W. Webster Ave. 6:30-8:30 pm. $35 for one or $65 for a couple. Support sustainable farming education at Harvest Feast: Chicago, while you devour mouthwatering dishes from the likes of Found Kitchen, Hot Chocolate and The Southern. harvestfeastchicago2013.eventbrite.com
15. 22.
Learn the secrets of successful women, move from idea to action, and get tips on marketing yourself and your company at Today’s Inspiring Women’s Conference in Oak Brook. inspiringwomenconference.com
What makes a millionaire a millionare? Find out in T. Hary Eker’s Millionaire Mind Intensive Seminar. We’ll see you there. $50. 9 am-noon. Chicago Marriott Schaumburg, 50 N. Martingale Rd.
8.
Wish List Chicago pairs wines from around the world with heavy apps, silent auction and a cause: fundraising to purchase toys and games for patients at Lurie Children’s Hospital. 7-10 pm at Quay, 465 E. Illinois St.
Get out your smock for the Lurie Garden’s Scarf-Dyeing Workshop. Create your own blue dye then dye a scarf (all provided). Just bring rubber globes and a plastic shopping bag. 10 amnoon. luriegarden.org
16. 23-24
9.
Heat things up at a Parties That Cook cooking class for couples. BYO. Held at Charlie Baggs in the Belden Straford, 2300 N. Lincoln Park West, 415.441.3595.
2.
The title of Sinead O’Connor’s most recent album, “How About I Be Me (And You Be You)” pretty much says it all. Hear her sing it when she comes to City Winery for a special engagement. citywinery.com/Chicago
4-6
2.
Former alien and voice of “Shrek”s Lord Farquaad, John Lithgow performs his critically acclaimed one-man memoir “Stories by Heart” at the Elgin Community College Arts Center. elgin.edu/arts
Raise funds for research on rare degenerative brain diseases at Live. Love. Life., a night of imaginative fashion, tasty cocktails and global food tastings. 8 pm-midnight. Museum of Broadcast Communications, 360 N. State St.
Play time! It’s the Chicago Toy & Game Fair, the largest public toy fair in the country where more than 250 exhibitors showcase and sell their fun stuff. Navy Pier, 600 E. Grand Ave., navypier.com
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the average
me female
has a brain weighs that weighs about 2.8 pounds
Goes to the bathroom 6X a day
IS 5’4” AND 165 LBS. Spends 1,350 minutes applying makeup in her lifetime
Owns 19 pairs of shoes but only wears 7
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Wonders if she really has a G-spot
Has all the eggs she will have for a lifetime at birth
Spends 120 hours a year looking in the mirror
On the Page, On Stage She’d seen my site. She liked it. I was officially noticed.
Lauren Hopkins Karcz
I
found my identity in a college library one summer morning. I had just turned seventeen, and was sweating it out at an honors program in south Georgia, making generous use of the library’s Ethernet in my best attempt to avoid the humidity and a confrontation with my social awkwardness. This was 1997, when I could still use the Internet as a place to hide. I’d already created my first homepage—a monstrosity of blue text/black background with winking stars and smiley faces everywhere—but when I went deeper into my study of the personal website, I discovered something amazing: journals. People were publishing their journals online. The social side of me dug out of the awkwardness for a minute and said me too. I began my online journal in October, with an entry declaring that I was starting a journal. Two days later, I happened upon the first actual subject for an entry: across the parking lot at school, I saw my best friend making out with her boyfriend. Wait, no—my ex-best friend. The more I reminded myself of her silent dismissal of me after my return from the honors program, the faster it would sink in. Maybe. I wrote the entry about just that: me, the girl across the parking lot, watching her, wondering why she ditched me, and still hurting over it. Writing it felt tough and good and faintly criminal. Seeing it on my page felt even better. I kept writing. A brilliant moment came at the end of 1997, just before my parents and I headed out to a New Year’s celebration: I got an e-mail from one of the popular teen journalers. One of the ones whose site was a fixture on everyone else’s links page, including mine. She’d seen my site. She liked it. I was officially noticed. Everything took off from there. Links, e-mails, numbers going higher on the little hit counter I installed at the bottom of my site’s homepage. If I was giving so much of myself to these journal entries, and if people liked the entries, then, by logical extension, they liked me as well. Didn’t they? I poured as much of myself as I could into my writing, and then I squeezed for more. Everything was potential content: overheard conversations in math class, the ongoing (silent) drama of my ex-friend and me, and the daily explication of my moods. A month went by. Six months. A year. By the time I was in college, I had a daily audience of several hundred and a proven formula for writing a journal entry. I wanted each entry to be a self-contained essay, with a title and a clear theme and a dramatization of the ideas I’d chosen to explore, and I tried not to comment on politics or pop culture, save for the occasional quoting of Tori Amos lyrics. And thus, the subject of every entry was me. They were pieces of the longitudinal psychological study of the Me-Ness of Me.
The self of my journal became a shadow version of me, growing larger or smaller depending on the time of day, and sometimes walking ahead of me versus walking behind. But always there. She reminded me to live for a theme at all times. If I were to go for a walk on campus at night, the question for myself was not, “Where am I going?” but rather “What does this walk mean?” Not a terrible question in itself, but an inconvenient one with regard to getting to the dining hall. I stockpiled a bunch of Meaningful Walks for use in future journal entries. I collected and categorized epiphanies. The journal had a limitless appetite for problems, of both the small, interpersonal variety and the large, existential variety. The ideal problem for an entry would be, say, a tense discussion with a friend that led me to a greater truth. So I had some tense discussions. Some with friends, some with my boyfriend. I felt no greater truths rumbling under my feet. I went to therapy. I figured, if nothing else, it was a long walk across campus to the counseling building, and the experience of it would make a good story. I could get a few good paragraphs… no, I could get a whole entry about the nervous wait for my counselor to appear. And then the Part Two would be all the things I told her, and the exciting conclusion would be her probing questions and my search for the right answers. As it was, I mainly talked about the journal. “Nothing really happened to me this week. But I didn’t post enough to my website and I’m stressed out about that.” My counselor didn’t understand how so much of my life happened in this third space. This hidden-but-not-hidden place where I told my secrets. And I understood it less and less myself. A college friend’s boyfriend found my site. I don’t know if he just saw the entry on the front page detailing their relationship, or if he’d read into the archives for the more thorough examination of their personal history. Either way, he harangued my friend, and when my friend asked me about the website, I made the great sacrifice of taking it down for two days, leaving a white screen in its place. It was clear my journal couldn’t be a place to hide anymore—it was more like a sign hung around my neck that displayed all the confessions and accusations I’d committed over the years. Even the cozy term “journal” was passé, having been replaced by blogs. I needed to quit—for my own sake, and for everyone else I’d written about. I needed that third-act epiphany that would bring together all the plot threads and make the theme apparent. But it didn’t come. I wrote for several more years, and the journal finally ended in the whimper of a lack of updates. That was okay: those last entries had moved outside the strict world of myself and had dared to describe such topics as my trip to Canada and my dog. I’d figured out how to walk with purpose but without meaning. I’d learned how to be myself, in front of only myself.
Lauren Hopkins Karcz is a writer, project manager, and third-place “Jeopardy!” finisher living in Atlanta, Georgia. She doesn’t have a website.
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2013
oct/nov
xoxokathy Ahhh...an extra hour. I always look forward to daylight savings time in the fall; we gain an hour. What can I do with an extra 60 minutes? Sleep in; read a book; try out a new recipe; go to church; wash my car; take a long walk; call a friend. Take your extra hour and do one thing that you normally wouldn't take the time to do for yourself. After all, we'll lose the hour come spring.
W h a t ’s k e e p i n g m e a w a k e a t n i g h t :
Looking forward to:
My son Austin’s 22nd birthday! Pumpkin everything! Cozy sweaters for cool nights Carmel apple lattes from Black Coffee Company Getting the whole family together for Thanksgiving I am jealous of: to a mans on g in v a g H the ba e. carry pping spre a sho
Fall fashion must-haves Reorganizing my closet for Fall “Scandal” (I never miss an episode!) Car repairs Hot flashes :( Syria “The Blacklist” and James Spader dooney.com
Online dating....do I dare? Dolce Vita Boots Animals prints. Grrrrrr!
artfire.com
W h a t ’s o n m y i Pa d :
W h a t ’s o n m y m i n d :
The TGI BLACKFRIDAY shopping app with a countdown to Black Friday and hundreds of retailers and deals for the biggest shopping day of the year.
I love this time of the year and all the changes that come with fall.The city turns shades of blue and orange in support of our Chicago Bears. I love apples in the fall, the trees along the lakefront rich with color; the cool, crisp air. Everything seems fresh and new, and I get to exchange my shorts and tees for sweatshirts and jeans. I appreciate every beautiful day and try to hold on to fall for as long as I can, knowing Old Man Winter is just waiting around the corner.
Note to self: THE BEST USE OF
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Chronograph gold watch by Michael Kors; 900 N. Michigan Ave. 38
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Black and white iPad case from 1154 Lill Studio
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