The Space Issue (Hattie Stewart Cover)

#7 The Space Issue A Magazine For Girls Autumn/Winter 2017

S CONTENTS

THE SPACE ISSUE 8

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5 EDITOR’S LETTER 6 CONTRIBUTORS 8 GABRIEL HELD 12 MURDER IN SLOW MOTION 15 MAKE SURE YOUR GARDEN IS WATERED 18 HATTIE STEWART 24 THE POLITICS OF MENSTRUAL SPACE 26 SPACES FOR HEALING 28 THE MIPSTER 32 INVADING MY URL SPACE 36 PREPARED FOR ALL THE NEGATIVES 41 SPACE IN THE CROWD 44 LOUISE CHANTÁL 28 48 LUMINARY BAKERY 50 OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE 53 LIVING WITH ENDOMETRIOSIS 54 COSMIC STRIP 58 FINE LINES & FINGER BANGING 60 A SPACE IN MY HEART <3 62 DISCONNECTED 66 WASTE OF SPACE 68 HANGER INC 78 HOW TO BUY AND BENEFIT FROM CRYSTALS

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BECCY HILL beccy@sistermagazine.co.uk JAMES UDEN james@sistermagazine.co.uk LAURA SUTTLE laura@sistermagazine.co.uk ROSIE FAYE ELLIS rosie@sistermagazine.co.uk

SPECIAL THANKS Stephanie Sian Smith, Claire Davis, Hattie Stewart, Rosie Brand, Louise Chantรกl, Gabriel Held, Jessica Vaughan, Francesca Bonafede + Aiden Moore @ Tate Modern

GET IN TOUCH - WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU! SISTERMAGAZINE.CO.UK TWITTER @SISTERZINE IG @SISTER_MAGAZINE FB SISTERZINE

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FROM THE EDITOR Welcome to the seventh issue of Sister. I’d like to say it gets easier each time they come around, but that wouldn’t be true.

As a team, we’re all currently based in a variety of different locations. However, instead of seeing this as an obstacle, we decided to embrace our geographical differences and see what could happen. The idea of space is extremely subjective and applicable to many ideas, like most of our themes, and I’m proud of the range that this issue includes.

Taking a very literal approach is Camella Agabalyan AKA Cosmic Strip, who describes the band’s sound as “music to move the stars” and as her editorial on page 54 shows, she’s got the looks to match. Continuing the idea of the supernatural, Esme Marsh gives a breakdown of the best crystals for harnessing our inner energies on page 78. She highlights that it’s not just a trend for wannabe-witches, and Generation Z are in need of some serious spiritual healing.

Speaking of which, naturally there is a huge focus on cyber space in this issue. Laura Suttle reminisces about the site which began it all; MySpace. It couldn’t truly be The Space Issue without a mention of our early teenage years spent HTML-ing and deliberating which friends would make it into the sacred top eight, and in what order. Bringing it right up to the modern day is Lashaunae Steward, whose Instagram account I and many others are obsessed with. Despite her following, she discusses the struggles of being a fat black girl online and IRL, and having the confidence to take up the space which is rightfully yours. Georgina Jones also tackles the trolls on page 32 and rightfully points out that despite their mythological nickname, “These keyboard warriors are very much real.”

Your body as a space is also something we explore in this issue. Jess Kohl shoots her friend Becca during the final stages of pregnancy, and after giving birth on pages 36. Megan Tynan O’Mahony discusses the ongoing issue of the tampon tax on page 24, which we are thankfully starting to see some movement on in the UK. Natalie Blain discusses her sister’s battle with endometriosis, and how it’s a rarely discussed condition with an enormous impact on page 53. Outside of physical health, Kirsty Robson looks at the importance of therapeutic space in society on page 26 and her perspective as a newly trained art psychotherapist. Daisy Ellis shares her experience of living with OCD, and the journey on which it has taken her on page 50.

Attitudes may be advancing in many ways in the West, but Rosie Ellis’ article on page 12 may make you think twice about your personal safety as a woman. She reveals some pretty harrowing statistics on stalking, and the lack of severity cases are met with by the police. On page 58 the anonymous Girl On Show pens her experience of being sexually assaulted whilst on a job, and how she felt unable to say no and put a stop to the situation. It’s easy to think of how you would react in a certain scenario, until you are in one yourself. James Uden speaks to the force behind Girls Against, who are campaigning to raise awareness and end the harassment towards young women which regularly takes place at live gigs.

Taking up more space ourselves in print, we have two cover stars for this issue. Hattie Stewart, whose instantly recognisable doodling style has graced pretty much every medium possible, is our first cover girl without actually being on the cover herself. We catch up with her on page 18 where she’s illustrated a shoot exclusively for us. Claire Davis, the woman behind the coolest latex label ever Hanger Inc, speaks to us on page 68 and we take a look around her Hackney studio. There’s no better feeling than to have people whom I truly admire and respect within these pages. As Hattie and Claire are both extremely busy building their empires, I’m so grateful that they took some time out to share their spaces, mental and physical, with us.

So wherever you’re reading this, I imagine you’ll be comfortable as, if our contributors are anything to go by, apparently everyone’s favourite space is their bedroom. Hopefully we can inspire you to venture outside and make some other spaces your own.

BECCY All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in whole or in part without permission from the publishers. © 2017 SISTER.

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WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SPACE? LASHAUNAE STEWARD

JESS KOHL

FAZ RAHMAN

“Sitting in my room alone listening to Tyler, The Creator’s album Scum F*ck Flower Boy on repeat because it reduces my anxiety and reminds me to never let anyone kill my flowers and to keep moving forward.”

“A London cemetery - the overgrown ones, like Abney Cemetery, or West Norwood.

For me, they are as peaceful as but preferable to a park because of all of the history buried within them. The names on the gravestones keep me entertained by letting me imagine all the different lives that have been led. I also love the aesthetics of victorian mourning culture, which London cemeteries are full of lots of dark symbology!”

“Where my tattooist is based (Kerry Irvine) at Modern Electric Tattoo (Longbridge, Birmingham); owned by Paul Talbot. It’s such a calm relaxing space and full of wicked (thoughtful) conversations, great cups of tea and great art! I like to be stimulated by art AND conversation and the tattoo studio is full of thoughtful provocations and sassy rebuttals.”

DAISY ELLIS

GEORGINA JONES

NICOLE BEST

often I have felt that I must reduce the space I take up; lose weight, lose my voice, lose my values, lose hope and eventually I lose my way. Now I’m learning to love the space which I occupy and to own that space, own my voice and own my values, hopes and aspirations. I think the most important step towards owning my space has been learning to accept my head space, and it’s a journey of a lifetime, but it’s one I’m finally enjoying.”

“When I was last asked my favourite space it was in Geography, and we got marked on picking it’s natural and man made features. I chose my bedroom and got a D. It’s not that I like to be alone, but rather I make my personal spaces an expression of myself that often, only I ever really like. It’s a reminder to have faith in my own bad taste.” (John Waters).

“My bedroom. I call it my little oasis (cheesy, I know); but I love the natural light that comes in and wakes me up every morning, I love the cross breeze from my two windows, the palms that line the walls, and sitting on my bed with my laptop, a cup of coffee and a good book.”

“Too

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KIRSTY ROBSON

CAMELLA AGABALYAN

ESME MARSH

“My favourite space is the therapy room, because it empowers me.”

“My favourite space is among the moon and stars.”

“The ocean. I’ve always had a deep connection to the water.

Just call me Ariel.”

MADDIE GOLDBECK

MEGAN TYNAN-O’MAHONY

JULIA EDWARDS

“My bedroom is my favorite space, I’m always completely comfortable there and I love decorating it with weird, cute little things I find.”

“My favourite space is the one I learn in. Sometimes that’s a space of comfort, sometimes it’s not.

What matters is that I learn.”

“It’s a little obvious, but my favourite space is my bedroom.

I love London but sometimes it’s so hectic it can be oppressive and my bedroom is my sanctuary from that.”

LAURA ALLARD-FLEISCHL

NATALIE BLAIN

HANNAH GRUNDEN

“My favourite space is the space between your armpit and elbow on the underside of your arm because it’s really milky and tender, and bruises easily if you pinch it.”

“My favourite space (festival related) is the front left of a stage at a festival because it’s the guaranteed spot to meet all ya pals if you get lost in the crowd.”

“My favourite space is virtual space, either online or gaming worlds where I’m given total escapism and fantasy. It’s helpful to have a break from reality every now and then.”

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GABRIEL HELD BECCY HILL MEETS INSTAGRAM’S FAVOURITE VINTAGE DEALER IRL

I feel like I’ve followed Gabriel Held ever since I’ve had an Instagram account. I’ve got no idea how I came across his profile, but his throwback posts from the best (and worst) of Nineties and Noughties culture have me hooked. “I find all my images on Google! I think I just happen to know what to Google.” And that he must, as Vogue.com named him ‘Instagram’s foremost fashion historian’. Gabriel is a vintage dealer and stylist, curating his own archive in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. With a background in visual arts, he tells me that he “eventually stopped fighting the universe” after applying for several different jobs post-studying, which has brought him to where he is now. “I grew up attending the New York private school where they filmed the TV show Gossip Girl, which cost more than my mother’s annual salary. I would always go to the thrift store and sell things back to the girls I went to school with, which is essentially what I do today.”

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a video of himself in said top singing the song a week later, with the caption “When you try to channel @badgalriri and end up closer to Edina Monsoon.” Hashtag relatable.

I visited Gabriel’s studio in June, earlier this year.

It was exactly how I imagined it would be — from the knock-off Gucci curtain sent to him by a fan, to the wall of shoes featuring Manolo Blahnik x Timberland boots and mules, to the hand-written note from Tracey Emin whom he sat next to once at Art Basel. Like the images he posts online, Gabriel says his collection “focuses on European designer pieces from the Nineties through to the Noughties, as well as stand out vintage streetwear.” Looking around at his racks of colour-coded garments, I wonder if there’s anything in particular he’d love to get his hands on: “A Louis Vuitton Murakami mink waist bag!” he confirms.

Having also recently worked with Kehlani, Jojo and IMG Models to name a few, Gabriel describes his aesthetic as “definitely being informed by my background in the visual arts. Collage is a medium I’ve worked with in the past and one which I feel relates to my styling. I enjoy mixing colours, textures and prints. I love doing something that subverts traditional ideas about fashion.” I wonder how he formed a relationship with one of his more regular clients, Lena Dunham. “Lena and I both grew up in art world families, but that’s not how we first crossed paths. I was touring her middle school, and she was my tour guide! The following year I saw her at a mutual family friend’s Christmas party and we’ve been friends ever since.”

He goes on to explain that, “It’s only recently that we’ve actually been working together, but that has been the highlight of my career. She’s facilitated so many amazing opportunities, specifically working with the designer Todd Oldham, which has been a literal dream come true.” I look at some of the pieces resurrected by Gabriel and Lena, who were invited to delve into the Todd Oldham archive, left untouched after he bowed out of the fashion industry in 1999. In pristine condition, they’ve definitely uncovered a gold mine. When I ask who his favourite person to style is, he replies, “I just love styling anybody who’s down to experiment and is open to unique possibilities and doing things that may be unconventional.”

He goes on to explain his process, “I don’t usually look for something specific when I’m sourcing pieces, it’s more of a sensation I get when I see something that’s perfect to add to the collection.

I try to follow my intuition.” We meet in the same week that Rihanna appears wearing a sheer Betsey Johnson top from his archive in the video for Wild Thoughts. Styled by Anna Trevelyan, with nothing underneath to cover her pierced nipples (obvs), it’s already cemented itself as one of her most iconic lewks. I also love that Gabriel uploads

It may not come as a surprise, but Gabriel’s personal favourite time period for fashion is indeed the Noughties. “For me, it’s when I really first became aware of fashion and I’ve been fulfilling my teenage wish-list since then!” We discuss the current resurgence in interest for all things from that period which were considered particularly bad taste at the time. “It’s hard to say definitively, why it’s so popular again. One thing that appeals to me about that era is the idea of expressing your personality through fashion —

customised pieces were huge at the time and that was on a lot of people’s style agenda,” he continues, “also, while there was a certain slickness to that era, it was not quite the homogenised, Photoshopped, superhuman look that there is today. I feel like in the Noughties, fashion was self-referential about its own slickness and being a total fantasy.” I have to admit that I agree and I have probably one of my favourite conversations about today’s generation with Gabriel in his studio that morning. “When I was at an event where I saw more of the backs of people’s phones than their faces, it became clear to me that many people at this moment are very selfabsorbed in regards to externals, but completely lack self-awareness about IRL behaviour. It’s challenging to portray yourself offline as the life of the party, whilst looking at yourself online on your device at that party, more so than participating.”

As previously mentioned, I’m a big fan of Gabriel’s drag videos which he posts online, often recreating iconic songstress’ looks. “I’ve been doing drag in one form or another since I was three and I put on the high heels in the dress-up box of my daycare!” He’s charming, witty and warm. I could have spent a week not only trying on everything he owned, but being in his company as well. I also had to bring up our shared appreciation of Ab Fab: “I loved any time that Eddie’s insane looks were actually germane to the story. For instance, when she wore a Moschino suit with symbols of different currencies on it to meet with her accountant about impending bankruptcy!

(That suit is available for rental at Gabriel Held vintage). I also love that Eddie has signature pieces that we see throughout the seasons - Christian Lacroix crosses! I mainly love her taste in designers; Moschino, Lacroix, Gaultier…” So what’s next for Gabriel? “I’ve done a lot of exciting projects recently and I am brimming with anticipation to release them. There are many things I’m excited about in the works and following me on Instagram is a good way to see them - and to get your fix of nostalgia.”

Considering that, while writing up our interview, he’s shared a photo of Lourdes Leon on his sofa, I’m also pretty excited about seeing these projects. When I ask what it is he loves about living and working in New York, a city which I’ve always dreamed of doing the same myself, his response is completely perfect.

“I was born in New York, and I’ll probably die in New York. I don’t know what else to say, I just love it!”

Check out gabrielheld.com and follow @gabriel_held_vintage

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Photography courtesy of Maddie Goldbeck

â&#x20AC;&#x153;I would always go to the thrift store and sell things back to the girls I went to school with, which is essentially what I do today.â&#x20AC;?

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MURDER IN SLOW MOTION ROSIE FAYE ELLIS Scrolling through my social media feed this morning, I came across a picture of a daggerlike implement mounted on a plastic ring. It was being recommended as the ‘perfect’ product for female runners or for ‘women who have to walk home alone at night’. It is, of course, bright pink.

Described as ‘convenient and comfortable’ it really got me thinking about how constant vigilance is a routine part of nearly every woman I know’s reality, which to be quite frank, doesn’t seem all that ‘convenient’ or ‘comfortable’. Anti-rape underwear and anti-rohypnol nail polish are all common ads that appear on my newsfeed, gently or not so gently reminding me to step up and pay the price (literally £££) for safety as a woman in a man’s world. We mindlessly take precautions every single day for our own safety but what happens when your one safe space isn’t even safe anymore?

already made 125 reports to the police about Willis but none were taken seriously nor kept on file properly. At the time the force said its “investigation and victim care did not meet the high standards we expect”. Ms Pearson said the apology “didn’t do anything” for her, as she is “still suffering every day because of what happened.”

Anne-Marie Birch was strangled to death by her estranged husband whilst walking her dog in a field near her home in Kent. Between September 2013 and the morning of her killing she had contacted police over nine times with her concerns of being stalked by her ex-husband. Even to the point where hours before she was killed she rang to report that her husband was hiding in her back garden, but the call at the time was never even logged properly. Kent Police said they recognised that they should have “offered a better service”.

This month a shocking report was released that showed that out of a sample of 112 cases of stalking and harassment examined by HM Crown Prosecution Service, none were found to be dealt with well. With over 60% showing no evidence of any risk management plan being prepared to protect the victims and in an appalling 95%, care for the victim was deemed to be inadequate.

In this highly critical report it was found that complaints were frequently not investigated, three-quarters of the cases were not handled by detectives and shockingly the majority were not even kept on record.

Herein lies the problem; harassment became an offence in 1997 and stalking was added to the criminal statute book in 2012. Police and the Crown Prosecution Service frequently struggle to differentiate between the two and often stalking cases are filed under a harassment offence. This means very different outcomes in court for the defendant and even with how seriously friends and family see the complaint. But in 2017 is it enough that police forces keep apologising? It seems these two cases aren’t one-offs which were overlooked but are sadly, according to the recent report, the norm. Unfortunately there are no statistics available to suggest how many stalking reports are made each year, but I looked at today’s Crime Survey which reports a rise in recorded stalking up 5,291 cases from last year, but this still only reflects a fraction of the crime. The police should be our first port of call when feeling threatened in our day-to-day lives and this under-recording of stalking must change. Five years on from the implementation of this statute, we should have seen a vast improvement in the way stalking cases are handled, but it seems that changing laws in 2012 was a lot easier than changing attitudes.

“Harassment and stalking are crimes of persistence,” the report says. “It is the unrelenting repeat behaviour by the perpetrator... which seems inescapable and inevitable, that has such a detrimental effect on the victim.” The same report also highlighted that in 2016, 358 homicides of women took place in the U.K and stalking was involved in a shocking 94% of those cases. Really, when you look at it closely, stalking is murder in slow motion.

Recently you may have read about Helen Pearson, a 34 year old from Devon who was violently attacked by her neighbour Joseph Willis. It came to light that before the horrific incident she had 12

Attitudes have become even harder in recent years, with the term ‘stalking’ being used frequently in a somewhat jovial manner to reference our social

media habits. Cue countless memes around stalking your ex, or someone repeatedly watching your IG story or a day wasted scrolling through someone you went to school with’s Facebook page. It has ended up diluting the severity of the word and the crime. Snapchat recently introduced a new map feature that lets users track other people’s location in real time, coined as the ‘stalking’ update, which has quite rightly raised concerns among safety and privacy advocates. The fear is that this is going to have a huge impact on stalking statistics in the next few years, especially when it comes to cyberstalking which is on the rise daily.

I spoke to 26-year-old Kate* about her experience with an ex-boyfriend who installed spyware into her laptop for months without her knowledge, blurring the lines between stalking and cyber stalking.

She explained how her boyfriend had been controlling from the start, “He’d check my phone daily and would always know my passwords for any accounts I had online.

He’d always make reference to exact comments I’d made in messages to my sister or a close friend, especially whenever they were telling me to leave him, he’d spin their comments on their head and I had always thought it was a bit too convenient.”

Then remembering, “One night I was sat on my computer maybe a month or so after finally leaving him for good and my laptop camera light was flashing. Suddenly it all made sense. I took

it to three different computer shops and none of them could find anything on it. But I was certain.

I felt like I was going insane but I knew he’d put something on there - he also always knew where I was and would randomly turn up which became a living nightmare.”

As a last resort at the time, Kate reached out to an old friend who was great with computers and they managed to locate the keylogging software on her laptop.

“I was shell shocked, but I’ve also never felt so relieved. I wasn’t paranoid and my ex really had been monitoring me in such an invasive way.”

The moment she decided to report this clear breach of privacy was when her ex-boyfriend threatened to send photographs he’d taken without her knowledge to her boss. “The police were horrible to me and basically said I was crazy, asked me if I used drugs and told me that it would take over six months for CID to even look at the computer.

I ended up having to collect all of the evidence myself for the police. I had to put a formal complaint in with the IPCC because of the way I’d been spoken to and the stories they’d told me to put me off. Eventually I was assigned a great officer who supported me through the justice system.

Because I’d been dismissed initially, the original charge of ‘stalking with a fear and threat of violence’ had to be dropped as too much time had passed. Instead, my officer pursued a much lesser 13

Illustrations courtesy of Jessica Vaughan

computer offence and because he admitted what he’d done he just received a conditional caution, but this was almost two years after I’d found out about the keylogger. As well as how long this took to be dealt with, I had my computer seized, but he never had any of his electricals seized, so I’ll never know what pictures he had of me and I’ll never know the full extent of his violation of me. The effect it’s had on me is hard to explain. I lost two years of university work because I was too afraid to use the computer again.

I doubt I will ever use a computer outside of work - I do everything on my phone now and I’m very protective of everything.

I lost years of photographs and memories.

I stopped using social media - I had to make brand new accounts for literally everything. Even now when I think about it I feel so disgustingly violated, and the punishment absolutely did not fit the crime. It’s worrying that this guy is allowed to be working at a digital marketing company.”

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Monckton Smith and the Suzy Lamplugh Trust have called on criminal justice professionals to review their approach to assessing risk, so the 1.1 million victims of stalking every year can receive greater protection. “Sadly, it is too late for many women so we need to do justice to their memory by acting when stalkers are demonstrating these behaviours, rather than simply waiting for the escalation. Understanding the motivation behind these behaviours and the risks that they present,

is profoundly important.” The unavoidable fear and anxiety stalking provokes is unimaginable to most. To feel as though every move you make is being watched, every message you send is being read and every conversation you have is being monitored must be nothing short of unbearable.

It is vital that a victim is taken seriously from that very first report. Sometimes stalking claims can be seen as a nuisance rather than a priority, especially if no physical harm has yet been done, yet the mental abuse is second to none.

If we aren’t encouraging people to come forward it also means we won’t be providing them with the after care they so greatly deserve and that absolutely must change.

If you fear you are being stalked or know someone that is, help is out there. www. victimsupport. org.uk will guide you through the legal process from start to finish. www. paladinservice. co.uk provide trauma informed support, advice and advocacy to high risk victims.

www.scaredofsomeone.org was founded by Tracey Morgan who is a stalking survivor herself and has been an anti-stalking pioneer since 1995. She was a huge guiding force behind changing the stalking law. If it is cyberstalking that you need help with, please visit fightcyberstalking.org. *Name has been changed for confidentiality.

MAKE SURE YOUR GARDEN IS WATERED LASHAUNAE STEWARD

I grew up in South Carolina and I have lived here my entire life. Being in such a close-minded state is hard, especially when you’re a fat black girl who doesn’t dress ‘normal’ and is trying to push boundaries. A lot of the people here don’t understand where I’m coming from with my style, makeup or fashion and they bash what they don’t understand. In middle school, I found it really hard. I was constantly rejected by the people I liked and I was picked on by my ‘friends’ every day. I would be harassed and bullied to the point where it eventually caused me to leave school.

When I finally made it to high school, things were the same. I would get made fun of because of my hairstyles, hair colours and clothes. There was always something wrong with me and so many

people were fatphobic and judgemental. Sure, there were other fat girls, but they didn’t dress or look like me which meant that I stood out more.

I would find any reason to leave school early, or to be isolated just because I couldn’t be around negative people who tried to make me hate myself simply because they were uncomfortable. I think the first time I ever wore a crop top was maybe senior year, but I was told to “cover up” as I would be “violating the school’s dress code.” It was only me who got these comments. When skinnier girls would wear cropped tops or high waisted shorts, they never got insulted in front of a whole class or called out for their outfit. But every time a part of my XXXL body showed, I was shamed somehow. As soon as I left, I started wearing everything I wish I could’ve worn in school without being bothered 15

for it. My main worries of wearing revealing things in public as a fat woman now are: being catcalled, unwarranted comments, having weird people take unsolicited photos of me, chub rub, and being stared at for long periods of time.

In the last year, my follower count on Instagram has increased so much. Last year, I had maybe 6k followers and now I have nearly 56k. Before, I didn’t worry that much about people being horrible towards me, but now I receive so much negativity online. I know that if I ever want the career of my dreams, then my skin will need to be tougher, which is something I’m constantly working on. However, no one deserves to be barraged with aggressive comments just for existing. I have had men and women screenshot my photos and repost them stating their thoughts on how ugly I look. They become Dr. Oz just by looking at me, saying that I’m super unhealthy and that I shouldn’t be promoting obesity by being myself and taking up space on Instagram or other platforms. I never understand why people would say that to me, because I’m not promoting anything. I’m not telling anyone to go out and change themselves and I’m not telling the world that they should look or be like me. Existing as a confident, fat black girl online makes many people deeply uncomfortable and all they can do is try to break you. If you are being bullied anywhere, IGNORE THEM TO THE FULLEST. Never let a bully win. Tune them out and if you’re being bullied online like me, make sure your fingers are always ready to block because that has become my favourite thing to do in response.

I have always been afraid to take up space — on airplanes, in stores, online, everywhere. And it

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takes real patience and being kind to yourself to know that there is nothing wrong with taking up space. Take up all the space that you need and do not let anyone make you feel like you’re too big or a waste of that space. Just remember, they’re most likely hating because you’re fat and poppin’. They are beyond confused by how a fat person could be so confident and happy. Never let anyone steal your shine. Tyler, The Creator said it best: “Never let these motherfuckers kill your flowers, make sure your garden is watered and STUNT.” Currently, I’m unemployed and trying to chase my dreams. A lot of people might see it as a bad idea to be broke, with no income and attempting to follow my dreams of plus sized modelling, but I believe in myself so hard. Even though I don’t think the world has EVER had a black plus sized model (who is bigger than a size 18) I believe it can change and soon I hope companies will do too. I’d also love to be a wardrobe stylist. I’m hoping to move to a city soon where people may understand me more, like LA or NYC. I’m inspired by people like RuPaul, Naomi Campbell, Sanam Sindhi, Walt Paper, Leigh Bowery, Rihanna, FKA Twigs… so many people! I also pull inspiration from songs and magazines like Vogue or Nylon.

Wearing really good outfits makes me feel confident. I like putting together a lot of things with different fabrics and patterns and when I have an outfit that really pops, I make myself shook. Being praised by people that I look up to is such a confidence booster. Just recently, Jeffrey Campbell commented on one of my selfies and my heart grew even bigger because that’s one of my ultimate fave shoe brands.

Earlier this year, when I wore a look that I was proud of, it instantly became a huge meme. Yes, I am fat and I wore a Thrasher shirt and ever since that picture went viral, a ton of skater boys have been picking on me and harassing me. They leave insulting comments daily, even though that photo was taken in March. The photos drew a lot of negative, but also positive attention to me.

Places like Seventeen magazine and Serious TV did phone interviews with me. I want to make my mom proud, because she has always been there for me more than anyone and has done so much for me. I would love to finally give back to her. I also want to prove to the world and to all of the people that send me anonymous hate advising me to change career goals because I will never make it in the fashion or modelling industry, that I can do it. I’m told daily that I’m “too big”, “too short” or “too brown”. Or that I don’t have ‘the look’ for companies to ever actually give me a chance — but I refuse to stop trying until my dreams become reality.

Follow @luhshawnay on Instagram

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HATTIE STEWART WE CHAT TO OUR FAVE DOODLER, WHO’S ALWAYS PLAYED BY HER OWN RULES Hey Hattie! It feels like we’ve been a fan of you and your illustrations forever. Could you sum up who you are and what you do for those who don’t know?

I’m an illustrator and artist currently based in London. I guess I’m most known for drawing over magazine covers and interlacing photographic imagery and illustration, turning it into something new altogether and twisting reality. It’s all tongue in cheek and playful.

Can you tell us a bit about your journey as an illustrator so far - how did you start out and where have your talents taken you?

I graduated from Kingston University in 2010 and have been drawing non stop since. I’ve been fortunate in that I’ve always had quite a supportive following and various opportunities over the years have helped me grow, change and develop as an artist. Everything really kicked off when I began my doodlebomb project where I drew over influential magazines like Vogue and i-D. That’s when everything really started happening for me. I was coming from a generation of rather traditional illustration and anything outside of that field was generally dominated with photography. I wanted to show that there were other ways to visually engage an audience.

How did you hone your now instantly recognisable style?

And do you ever have days where you just want to draw in a completely different style?

I’ve read that your work was first published in Playboy, and that the (now no longer) Front gave you your first official cover to illustrate. Do you have an opinion on lads mags, and how did it feel to see your work featured by them?

Personally I enjoyed taking up space in those magazines as a woman, but in a different context to how those represented in these mags are meant to be consumed.

Since the theme of our issue is Space, where is your favourite space to work or create and why?

My studio. I share a studio in Hackney with three other amazing artists - Lynnie Z, Annu Kilpeläinen and Sara Andreasson. When I’m conceptualising work I prefer complete isolation as I’m easily distracted but my studio is great safe place and having other artists there to discuss work, life, everything really, is incredibly important to me.

You released ‘Living With Hattie Stewart’ last year, and ‘Hattie Stewart’s Doodlebomb Sticker Book’ this year.

Both are pretty interactive, and encourage people to actively engage with your art. Why is this important to you?

Hard work. There is no easy answer other than to keep drawing, learning and experimenting to make yourself better. I’m constantly changing up my ideas, but the visual core is more or less always the same. I’m intrigued to see what my work will look like in 20, 30 years. I hope it’s completely different and that’s what makes it exciting for me.

When everything is mostly consumed through digital media having interactivity in the books I create is very important.

I want my work to be accessible and engaging - where the user can play and incorporate it into their own life, however they see fit.

You have doodlebombed so many iconic magazine covers - what is it about an image that makes you go ‘I have to draw on that’?

I was at a party and my mate pulled down his trousers to reveal a pair of boxers I’d designed. I was thrilled.

Where’s the funniest place you’ve spotted your work?

So many things - obviously if they have a crazy level of fame and are instantly recognisable it is a lot more fun to draw over as the satire hits a better level. Generally though, I try not to think too much about the design and just enjoy the process. The covers which I think will work great always turn out flat, and vice versa. The whole project has taught me a lot about form and manipulation and is something I’m keen to explore more in my work.

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Your illustrations span so many formats - clothing, installations, exhibitions, photography. Most illustrators find the balance between commercial and artistic a struggle. How have you managed it?

I’ve always avoided a more conventional illustrative style so that I can be a little more bold and experimental in application. Although I’ve created a strong visual identity and eschewed the more traditional boundaries of illustration I still feel like I have so much more work to do. At the beginning of my career (only six years ago) I was known as a fast worker because I could get roughs and ideas ready and prepared within a week to show a client. Now I only have a few weeks to not only conceptualise roughs, but execute the final artwork for large scale campaigns for big brands, when before I had months. This is whilst working on more than one project at a time whilst also working on my own projects for my sanity, my health, my life admin, my personal relationships, my activism, myself - everything moves at such a fast pace now artists don’t have space to breathe. Have a style NOW, know who you are and what your work represents NOW. Be successful NOW. Create great original content even though someone has most likely already done it NOW. Even if everyone is doing it, do it NOW. NOW NOW NOW or deal with emotional upheaval of feeling eradicated from the creative conversation moving forward. Work doesn’t have time to breathe and find its feet. It finds an audience immediately, but is the work ready for it yet? Will you be able to adapt and grow freely as an artist, as a voice? The platform is there, but is the work ready to take the stage yet? The answer, apart from a few exceptions, is no. It never is and nor should it be. Social media has been incredible for many artists and voices who previously had no space and for that it’s great - but sometimes I feel unable to consume everything with either critical or admirable thought. I definitely haven’t managed it yet - I still don’t take care of myself self enough. It’s all learning and growing and adapting but also giving yourself space to think with clarity.

Leading on from that, do you have a favourite format to work with?

The covers and found material will always be the main component of my work moving forward - that’s where I feel my illustration really comes alive.

Why do you think people respond to your work so well?

I think the level of play and satire within my work makes it accessible. The cartoonish style has the familiarity of the cartoons we consumed in youth which gives it a level of comfort and the way it’s applied is something we can all do and experiment with. With the covers I think it’s open to interpretation. Whether you love or hate the people on the cover I’m illustrating over, you can embrace it.

Do you have any advice for those who’d like to get into illustration?

Try your absolute best to switch off from social media when you’re working, completely disengage as much as you can. Seriously it’s bad for your health. Make a mess - BE a mess. Don’t worry about styles, that’ll come naturally. You try to focus too much on that and you’ll most likely miss out on creating something original and unique of your own. Play, experiment and collaborate. Read and explore.

Ignore follower counts on social media as an indicator of greatness because that’s all a load of crap. If someone doesn’t get what you’re doing today don’t worry, you still have tomorrow - focus on you, do you.

Have you ever found it hard being a woman in the art world?

Yes. I’ve been ignored, put down, told I’m not good enough, been the token female on projects (directly said to me on numerous occasions). I was told by an external examiner at uni that when he first saw my work he thought I was a guy - but I should take that as a compliment. In primary school, I set up the first girls football team because I couldn’t play with the boys. If I did I knew I had to be just as good, if not better, than the best guy on the team. That understanding from a very young age made me know that if I wanted to do well, I had to work one hell of a lot harder and that hasn’t changed. Just ask any female illustrator and they’ll give you hundreds of stories of what they’ve had to face daily. I see more variation and quality in style in my female peers than male, yet I see more variation and quality in the projects given to my male peers. Don’t get me wrong, I admire the work of my male peers but it’s a bigger question that should be constantly discussed. It’s changing though - social media is the greatest platform for the previously silenced to have a voice - and therefore opportunity.

What, or who, inspires you when you’re having a creative block?

My friends, my family and my peers.

What’s next for you - surely there’s nobody left for you to work with?

Ha! There is always someone and there is always something.

I don’t know what but I can’t wait to find out.

Finally, as a London based artist, how does the city aid your creativity, and also hinder it?

London is an incredibly diverse city and there is so much to learn, see and explore. I’ve met the greatest people here but there aren’t as many opportunities as there used to be, or the opportunity for new ideas to flourish. London is a creative hub but there is so much more out there, and way more room to breathe..

Check out hattiestewart.com and follow @hattiestewart

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Photographer: Laura Allard-Fleischl Stylist: Hannah Grunden Make Up: Julia Edwards Hair: Chloe Freida Model: Daisy Chandley

Front Cover - Corset piece by Ingrid Kraftchenko Image One - Jacket by Hanger Inc Image Two - From L to R, top and trousers by Colin Horgan, rings by Civilian, jacket by Hanger Inc Image Three - Chainmail top and skirt by Poster Girl, patent jacket by Walter Lee Image Four - Corset piece by Ingrid Kraftchenko.

Back Cover - From L to R, chainmail top and skirt by Poster Girl, patent jacket by Walter Lee, bodysuit stylistâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s own, top by Colin Horgan.

THE POLITICS OF MENSTRUAL SPACE MEGAN TYNAN-O’MAHONY ON THE TAX REASONS BEHIND WHY WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT OUR PERIODS I’ve always been vocal about being on my period.

I think it’s been a way to help me balance being the only girl in a family with four boys. Everyone needed to know that I was in pain while shedding my uterine lining and I shouldn’t be expected to be nice ‘cus fuck you – I’m on my period.

These days I notice the hormonal patterns more.

One week I get insanely hungry. I get angry over everything the next week. Then I feel sharp and confident but also weepy and after that it’s a blood (and other stuff) bath. I take spirulina and magnesium to calm the symptoms. I’ve started using a menstrual cup – they’re not supposed to leak but I haven’t got the hang of that yet so I still ruin my underwear — because I have the choice.

I can talk about my period at work and even work from home if I can’t concentrate — they understand. I have an extensive wardrobe so I don’t have to feel uncomfortable in my clothes, also the dietary knowledge to know what I need and why I might be craving chocolate, which painkillers work best and that yoga and some light cardio really do help. In truth, I’ve an easy menstrual life.

I have knowledge, I have money, I have power.

But this isn’t the norm. I’m privileged as fuck. I rarely thought about the cost of products until I started hearing about the tampon tax and since then it’s haunted me. I started to have fictional arguments and debates in my head — why the fuck are we being taxed for menstruation? So I decided to start investigating.

In 1973, the United Kingdom joined the EU and began applying 17.5% VAT on sanitary products.

This rate was reduced to 5% for sanitary products in 2000 with lobbying from MP Dawn Primarolo, who said that this reduction was “about fairness, and doing what we can to lower the cost of a necessity.” That is a dramatic drop and technically the lowest rate of VAT that is recognised within the EU, which as of 2015, does not allow zero percent (VAT) rates. So that kind of makes sense, until you look at what VAT is (this I turned to Wikipedia for): 24

“VAT is an indirect tax because the tax is paid to the government by the seller (the business) rather than the person who ultimately bears the economic burden of the tax (the consumer).

Opponents of VAT claim it is a regressive tax because the poorest people spend a higher proportion of their disposable income on VAT than the richest people. Those in favour of VAT claim it is progressive as consumers who spend more pay more VAT.” This is where I got a bit confused. I felt proud for a brief second when discovering that a lobby meant a reduction in tax from 17.5% to 5%. Until I realised that women pre-2000 were paying 17.5% tax on sanitary products and that that specific tax was added by the government. They literally chose to tax women for having a period.

In the majority of the United States they are taxed as a luxury. In simple terms, the significance of that means they’re classified as not necessary. If they’re not necessary that means there’s another option. Which would be what - to use old rags?

To stop existing in the public sphere? If you want to get angry about it, feel free to. Just think about this for a bit. Let it settle. Weigh it up.

Now, of course for some women, that tax isn’t significant in terms of the sum of money, but it is for many women however in terms of ideology.

This tax at any rate is very significant. It implies that we may exist in take our place in society, we may lean in if we pay an entrance fee. Whether it’s 5%, 10% or 20% doesn’t make a difference.

While this task exists, our existence is a luxury.

In 2015 a campaign by Labour MP Laura Coryton entitled Stop Taxing Periods, set out to abolish Tampon Tax in the UK and make menstrual products exempt from VAT. After a collection of over 320,000 signatures, Parliament created legislation to eliminate the tampon VAT, which should be effective by April 2018.

In the United States, as of June 2017, nine states specifically exempted feminine hygiene products (Connecticut, Florida, Illinois, Maryland,

Massachusetts, Minnesota, New Jersey, New York, and Pennsylvania) from tax. That’s awesome but there’s still a long way to go. Because too many women are facing this injustice.

Ideally, I don’t want my period to be a big thing.

In fact I don’t want periods to be a ‘thing’. What I want is for anyone who menstruates to have free access to safe menstrual products and the education they need to take the space in society they deserve. Because equality can’t happen for some women, it has to happen for all women.

And talking about the politics of menstrual space is one way to start.

Illustrations courtesy of Laura Mallows

In a broken system, removing the tampon tax is a step forward but the cost of menstrual products is still an issue, one that we cannot ignore. It’s not just in third world countries, it’s happening here in the EU and surely the States too, and it’s keeping girls out of school and women out of work. Which is why we need to speak up and find solutions that work for every woman.

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SPACES FOR HEALING

KIRSTY ROBSON EXPLORES THE IMPORTANCE OF THE THERAPEUTIC SPACE IN A HEALTHY SOCIETY

We are all performers.

Each day, as morning breaks, we blearily emerge from our dreams. For eight hours we have been submerged in ourselves. We have occupied an inner world, in which our minds paced, examined, recounted and furiously attempted to make sense of our lived experiences in a series of weird and wonderful mind-films. We are free from the judgements of society; in sleep we are not required to perform.

Our dreamy screenings are then abruptly interrupted by the screeching cat-wail of an iPhone alarm. Smatterings of sunlight splash through our windows as a call to arms. You may be wondering, “Why the fuck did I just have a dream about performing fellatio on my driving instructor from ten years ago?” But there isn’t time for rumination!

Beyond our bedrooms, our audience awaits us!

Society calls! We must rise!

As we lift ourselves from of the warm comfort of our sheets, we prepare ourselves for our daily performance. We must razzle-dazzle our onlookers with our fine costumes! Time to slather on the warpaint! (“Wow this under-eye concealer is so fab at combatting the early signs of ageing/ my mild-but-chronic depression!”) Time to get guzzling — pint after pint of a piping hot beverage — perhaps the warm comfort it brings will soothe that debilitating existential ache buried within your chest! As the caffeine drips into your bloodstream, it’s time to step out of the front door and flash the people those glistening pearly whites — it’s what they want! That’s it baby, give ‘em as good as you got — you’re ready to shine!

Think about the amount of performances you give on a daily basis. You go to work, people ask you how you are, how do you respond? Even if you are dying inside you say, “I’m brilliant thank you! Just been for a 10k run! Oh look, I’ve matched with Ryan Gosling on Tinder! Result!”

We inhabit a whole range of different roles on a daily basis — we perform for our colleagues, we perform for our friends, we perform for our families. We curate our identity on our social 26

media platforms. As Shakespeare once famously wrote, “All the World-Wide-Web’s a Stage.” Or something like that.

Ten months ago, I tentatively embarked on my training to become an Art Psychotherapist. Art Therapy, for those who are unfamiliar, is described by the British Association of Art Therapists as ‘A form of psychotherapy that uses art media as its primary mode of expression and communication.

Within this context, art is not used as diagnostic tool but as a medium to address emotional issues which may be confusing and distressing.’

As part of the course, you must undergo weekly therapy. This came at a time when I felt I really needed some support, so it was a welcome life change. Becoming both a client and a practitioner at the same time forced me to examine the way I was going about my life. I realised that I was giving a constant performance — as an artist, as a professional, as a lover and as a friend. The only place where I dropped the act was in my bedroom, where the weight of my true feelings would envelop and smother me. It was the only place I felt I could be my ‘true self’. I thought nobody could tolerate who I really was. Sadly, I think this is a fairly common experience.

As a result, I found myself struggling to open up to my therapist. As I started out as a practitioner, I also found that my clients were struggling to open up to me. We have all been conditioned so forcefully to become performers that the therapy room — a space that has the potential to be free from performance — can feel frightening and alien. Even once we are inside the therapy space, the external stigma that exists in the world outside can feel like it is knocking at the door. I found myself worrying that my therapist and the world more widely, would judge me. I guess my clients were probably worrying about the same thing.

It’s a societal phenomenon — we are yet to shake the shackles of cultural repression. Those fucking ‘Keep Calm And Carry On’ posters should never have resurged. They are not just a graphic design tragedy; they are a painful symptom of a society determined to push the difficult bits out of view.

We need to think very seriously about what the implications of this might be for our society more generally.

The therapeutic space offers a site in which to unearth what has been concealed by performance.

It is a space to explore our inner worlds with another person and to shine light on the things that bother us in quiet moments; before sleep and even in sleep. The line between the theatrical and the real in society is becoming increasingly blurred and this is having a hugely damaging impact on our collective mental health. It is vital that society creates spaces, outside of our bedrooms, that can be free from performance. Spaces for the difficult bits to be explored and to be tolerated by another person.

As time went on, I felt safe enough to remove my performative costume as a client in the therapeutic space. It is a process which takes time, but one which has had a significant impact on my general wellbeing. It is not a quick fix and sadly it is an

expensive and ongoing one — to bypass the failing public mental health service and go private, you are looking at paying at least £50 for a session.

This makes therapy a luxury, which is unjust and needs to change. As a middle-class white girl, I do not deserve therapy any more than somebody who does not have the means to pay such an enormous amount of money on a weekly basis.

The government has promised that £1.3 billion will be put into the mental health sector. Let’s put pressure on them to put that money into the right things — into longer term interventions like talking psychotherapies and creative psychotherapies. CBT has become a one-size-fits-all quick fix that looks good on paper and while I do not doubt it can be helpful for some, it cannot become a replacement for those that require long term psychotherapeutic work.

A healthy society needs spaces for healing emotional wounds. It’s time to up the ante with the fight for decent mental health services.

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THE MIPSTER

Image 1,3 & 6 - Scarf by MÊHLÊ, top by Arianna Mele, rings by Giada Giachino.

Image 2 - Coat and top by Arianna Mele, gloves by Pretty in pink, hat by Fan Siyu, pendant by Giada Giachino.

Image 4 - Dress by Whyte Bea, gloves by Fan Siyu, silver headpiece by Giada Giachino.

Image 5 - Fatima wears shirt by OLOH S, coat by MÊHLÊ, trousers by Whyte Bea, silver necklace & eyeglasses by Giada Giachino.

Rufaro wears coat by Arianna Mele, gloves by Pretty in pink, hat by Fan Siyu.

Creative Director + Make Up Artist: Faz Rahman faz@makeupbysatan.com @makeup_by_satan Models: Fatima Salim, Rufaro (represented by IAM CASTINGS) @indigo_on_the_gram Fashion Team: Dana Verri @danavrr_fashion_stylist, Jade Perez Nail Artist: Marie-Louise Coster @mlcnailartist Photographer: Ivan Weiss

INVADING MY URL SPACE

GEORGINA JONES AS THE MEAN, GREEN, TROLLING MACHINE I have always been an oversharer: sharing my food, sharing my space, sharing anything and everything that graces my mind. My best friend even has a list of these ridiculous thoughts, that shouldn’t really be shared out loud. How many apples does a tree grow in its life?

What’s the best dance you’ve ever danced? What’s your deepest, darkest secret? All shared over spring rolls on a comedown Sunday, with the same air of casualness.

Essentially, ‘getting personal’ doesn’t exist to me. It never has. I doubt it ever will. Let me spill my secrets to strangers at the bar and from there, let me write about them online for my career. As a writer, I found myself drawn to exploring my own insecurities in essays, finding my own solace in the thoughts I’d never set free before.

I’m too fat. I’m too ugly. I’ve self harmed too much, but not enough to be crazy. Am I crazy? Tracking these thoughts online, sharing them in the public sphere and the subsequent debates that followed changed my entire outlook on myself. With friends from school - not even friends, people from my year who’d avoided my ‘act first, think later’ nature - reaching out to tell me they were proud of my journey, it became a rush.

The deeper I’d go, the darker into my mind I’d crawl to find more and more self-hatred to share, the more catharsis I gained. This is the part of the essay where you expect an “until.” A “but what I didn’t factor in…” turnaround that taught me sharing my space, my emotions, my every single thought was wrong. But that never happened.

As my online writing became more and more public, shared by strangers instead of just my mam and her friends, then came the trolls. Those who had seen and could not, for the life of themselves, just not comment.

A stranger shares to me on Twitter: “This troll article has been written about you.” I get linked again, “Who’s shared your picture on reddit?” Comment after comment about how I’m not thin enough, not pretty enough, not crazy enough, not good enough to be living, let alone writing.

Even one of these comments could be enough to damage you for days. I imagine these insecurities voiced by friends, family, the slightest of friendly acquaintances and I know I would be snowed under for weeks.

I hate calling them trolls; giving these people gaining gratification from cruelty simply a mythological nickname. These keyboard warriors are very much real but not only that, they’re not a towering beast we should run from. We don’t need Ron Weasley to throw a wand up his nose to knock this troll out, we need to be aware of the giant fucking snake making its way through the plumbing.

As the trolls slither through cyberspace, I live-tweet my period. As they seek out others to suffer their keyboard wrath, I’m getting coin from sentences I’m paid per word to write. Sharing throughout my whole life has always caused controversy - fewer friends, a smaller love life, a lack of mystery. That was never going to stop when I moved it all online. All that’s changed is that I like myself more.

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â&#x20AC;&#x153;Sharing throughout my whole life has always caused controversy fewer friends, a smaller love life, a lack of mystery. That was never going to stop when I moved it all online.â&#x20AC;?

Photography courtesy of Lewis Vaughan

PREPARED FOR ALL THE NEGATIVES

Photography courtesy of Jess Kohl

SPACE IN THE CROWD JAMES UDEN

Several issues ago, team Sister had the pleasure of interviewing Norwegian up-and-comers Sløtface in London ahead of their sold out show at The Old Blue Last. Having discussed all things music and touring, a poignant, albeit inspiring take away from interviewing the band was learning about their impassioned support for a campaign called Girls Against.

In summary, Girls Against work to “raise awareness of, and ultimately end, sexual harassment at gigs and concerts”. A powerful realisation at the time, the need for this campaign (formed in 2015 by Hannah, Anna, Bea, Anni and Ava) has become only more apparent since first learning about it.

Catching up with Anna to discuss the campaign’s progress and activities so far, she soon discloses, “We get several messages a day about people who have experienced harassment or assault directly.

We ensure that they are supported and know

they can talk to us.” As documented (and many unpublicised) incidents involving female audience members at shows continue to occur, it is evident that safety for women at live events - no matter the scale - is something that needs addressing by everybody. “We need more discussion and more action from gig organisers, venues and security,” Anna says when considering what still needs to be done to clamp down on incidents, “there is a limit to our influence over these bodies so we really want to see them push in the right direction and take action, whether it be through training or more discussion.”

The thought of somebody feeling afraid or anxious about attending a live show because of the reputation of others’ actions is beyond infuriating.

Gigs should be the safest, most inviting places a music fan could feel. Whether you’re with a group of friends or alone, being in the same room 41

amongst people who are as passionate about the same artist and the same songs should offer all the comfort and security in the world. Every music fan deserves to experience the complete euphoria that comes from a live performance. The thought of others’ actions sabotaging this on an invasive and violating level, leaving someone feeling vulnerable is frankly disturbing.

“They’re an anonymous face in the crowd, so therefore they can use their power to do what they want to whoever they want.” Suggests Anna, when pondering what it is that provokes harassment in a gig environment. She further notes that it is important to acknowledge that men can of course also fall victim to assault. So far however, the information that Girls Against have collected points towards the majority of assaults at gigs being an “act of dominance and power over women”.

With GA raising much more visibility towards the issues at hand, it is important to note that they are not the only one’s vying for change. Safe Gigs 4 Women are also putting in hard work campaigning for safer environments for women at gigs. “We hope that we have contributed to the conversation and that we have brought it to the attention of fans and musicians alike.” says Anna.

“However, we are still so keen to go further and do more in terms of direct responses to the issue - it is often difficult to have venues and festivals be open about the problem, alongside security companies, so this is always something we push for.”

The main inspiration behind this article actually came to me when Frank Carter took to the stage at Glastonbury earlier this year. Triumphantly and confidently, he took the opportunity to not just legitimise the belonging of heavier acts at the esteemed festival, he also took time before closing 42

his set to declare what now appears to be a staple speech in his live arsenal. As documented at a previous performance with his band in Brisbane, the seasoned hardcore hero declares, “I have a fearless little two-year-old and I refuse to grow up in a world where she does not feel safe to stage dive.” Out of context, perhaps a light-hearted notion, but Frank’s wider message soon comes across loud and clear, “Boys, I’m talking to you.” His next suggestion isn’t by any means the long-term solution to dealing with harassment at shows, but it certainly acts as a fuel of confidence to anyone potentially affected by the issue and who at that point in the show may be feeling anxious about physically committing to a crowd surf or stage dive. “If you see anybody at any gig from now on touch anybody inappropriately, you fucking knock their teeth out. And when they ask you ‘What the fuck was that for?’ you tell them that I sent you.”

Certainly not the PC answer to the problem, but a confidence-booster to say the least in the heat of the moment. Following on from this, Frank established that the next song is to be crowdsurfed exclusively by women. A couple of notes into Modern Ruin and we come full circle to a safe gig being enjoyed by women, men, the artists on stage and the security guards at the barriers pulling surfers out of the crowd (well, maybe a few). It can work, it should work, it just shouldn’t need calling out to make it happen. Nothing but credit is warranted to Mr Carter for making the forward-thinking gesture and being so aware of his female audience’s emotional well being as much as their physical safety.

When acknowledging such examples of a wider reception, Anna proudly affirms that, “Bands and artists have been massively receptive about the problem, which has been incredibly inspiring.

While on the subject of acknowledgement, Anna also mentions seeing more news stories appearing with headlines about bands who have actually stopped their gig mid-set in response to seeing someone being assaulted. Coincidently, Architects did just this literally on the day of our interview and in light of it occurring more often, Anna states, “This is something which makes us incredibly happy as it shows those in positions of power using it well to help those who may be struggling.” Not just exclusive to those equipped with microphones, the press are also beginning to cover these happenings and the subject on the whole as more incidents occur. It’s disappointing however to learn from Anna that despite the positive developments across the media and on-stage to raise awareness and action change, venues are not often as receptive in comparison, “Many places have our posters up and some have even introduced training as a result of our campaign, but we feel more needs to be done to protect their customers within their walls, as it is their responsibility to ensure they are safe.”

In terms of what’s next on the campaign agenda, the team have always wanted to host a fundraising gig so will soon be working towards organising one. As for weighing up what still needs to be done to suppress harassment and assault at gigs, Anna concludes, “There have been slow and gradual changes, such as festivals introducing our logo into their posters and screens, but we know that so much more needs to be done to solve this ongoing problem. We hope at some point there will no longer be a need to campaign (despite the fact we love doing it!), but we aren’t entirely sure when this will be. We will keep going until we see a real shift.”

If you have been affected by this article or feel anxious, unsure or afraid of reporting an incident that has occurred to you or somebody else at a show, Girls Against advise to put yourself first: “Reporting can often become a long haul process, and if someone feels quite vulnerable following an assault, the most important thing is that they are well and stable. However, if you feel that you are passionate about reporting it, we encourage it and are always here if you feel anxious for support or advice - regardless if you want to take it further or not, we are here to talk!”

For more information, visit girlsagainst.tumblr.com

Photography courtesy of Girls Against

Whenever any band or artist shows their support for us we feel so humbled as it means that they aren’t afraid to address the issue head on. I can imagine being in a position of power like that, they could face criticism for being ‘too political’ an insult I hear all too often for ridiculous reasons!”

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LOUISE CHANTÁL

BECCY HILL CHATS TO THE FUTURE POP POWERHOUSE

Louise Chantál is definitely someone who has got her shit together. I speak to her on the phone a couple of days after her performance with the DJ Noise Cans at Chicken & Beer in New York. From the images she posted on her Instagram page, it looked like a more organised version of Notting Hill carnival. “At the end of this show, I just felt like I had done a really good job!” She tells me, as if surprised. “At the end of most of my shows, what’s in the forefront of my mind is ‘This didn’t go right, or that didn’t go right’, but I enjoyed every moment of it. I was so present.” She goes on to explain, “It’s good to be present, but not to be careless. I can be crazy and wild but a good portion of me is also the responsible parent!” Which I would like to say is hard to believe coming from a 21-yearold, but reflecting on Louise’s accomplishments at such a young age, I imagine she wouldn’t have such an impressive retrospective if she’d just spent her time out partying (like myself at that age, and most regular 21-year-olds…)

Louise put out her debut project last year, Welcome To Aranbi. Described as an 11 track performance piece, she says she started working on it when she was 18. “At that time I had started learning about branding, and branding myself as an artist. I realised that a lot of things in the industry may be based upon talent and skill, but there are a lot of people who can sing well, who are not artists. There’s a difference between the two.” She goes on to explain “When I started working on this project, I realised it was going to take a lot more than me being really good at one thing to be successful in the music industry.”

Through working with an A+R at Atlantic Records Louise met the renowned Syience, who not only produced her record but came up with the idea of Aranbi itself. “I was just being myself, the princess of Aranbi but I was actually referring to the genre RnB. And it was funny because Syience was like ‘Oh my god, where is Aranbi? Like what is that?

I think you need to turn Aranbi into something.’”

She laughs, “He completely coined the word and said that Aranbi was this fantasy world in which I created stories and dreamt of different characters and that’s how the project concept came to life.”

It seems like working with Syience meant that Louise was encouraged to think for herself as an 44

artist, which she hasn’t always found to be the case since starting out in the industry. “There weren’t enough people telling me that I was capable and smart enough to make my own decisions. You can take the horse to the water, but you can’t make it drink right? It’s a weird situation to tell someone they need to drink water, versus educating them on hydration and why drinking water can be good, but if you drink too much water that can be bad. That’s something that I always reference.”

She continues, “Women are always told what to do in the music industry but are rarely encouraged to think for themselves. That’s been my experience.”

Louise’s website openly states she is a survivor of sexual assault. “I feel like I’m not really sure how I got into talking about this shit publicly!” She muses when I ask her about it. “I used to be on Twitter a lot. I was gravitating towards women of colour who were searching for equality, and got to see Black Girl Magic as it was evolving and so much of that movement.” I check Louise’s Twitter page after our conversation and realise it’s now practically empty, save a few self-promotion tweets. However, she continues to explain, “What came hand-inhand with that was me finding a lot of black female journalists and intellectuals who were shedding light on issues that weren’t just regular mainstream issues and weren’t getting spoken about. I felt like I wanted to speak about my experiences because not everyone is qualified to do so.” She continues, “I think that’s what made me want to just be like: ‘I am this, and this is what I’ve been through’ and go against the idea that it’s such a huge revelation for me, or anyone, to be able to say something like that publicly. I want to be open and then hopefully it will become more normal for people to speak about.” She rightfully points out to me, “Because if you didn’t know that, or if you hadn’t read that on my site, then you wouldn’t have asked me and we wouldn’t have spoken about it you know what I’m saying? It needs to get to the point where it’s not a revelation to discuss it.” We both agree that to push sensitive issues to the forefront of people’s attention, it’s to talk about them until they can no longer be ignored.

“Because there’s such a high percentage of the cases going unrecorded and unreported with no justice, I just feel like what’s underestimated is the

impact that I have sharing something that I feel doesn’t impact anyone other than me, but it does.

I guess it’s something which you’ve been told not to say anything about, it’s like this hush hush thing you know? And it’s not because we’ve come to terms with everything, and we’re moving on and fixing it, but it’s because it’s considered bad taste and people don’t want to speak about it.”

Louise is passionate about taking issues important to her offline as well. Last year she says she felt compelled to start The Aranbi Foundation. “I saw myself starting it much later on in my career, but for some strange reason I felt I had to do it right then. I went with my intuition.” Inspired by her grandmother, who feeds people at her local church twice a week, Louise wanted to get involved herself. “It wouldn’t be a normal week for her [grandmother] if she didn’t do that, that’s part of her spirit. And so I felt like I wanted to do something like that with my friends and target a completely different age group, as our lives and what we’re doing is so very different from that of the elderly.” You can watch a video of her team in action at the church in New Jersey on Louise’s site.

“Now we’re in the process of trying to get this next program off the ground. It will involve sending

people books, and I’m still kind of figuring out how I want to do it and ironing out the kinks.” I wonder at this point what she wants to eventually achieve through this foundation. “Overall I just feel like I wanted an outlet, a group, a community, in which I can give back to the world. I feel like I’m doing that in the sense that I’m allowing people to receive therapy through my music… but there’s a lot that I see myself doing which has nothing do with being a musician!”

Realising she needed to be a brand rather than just a musician to cement global superstar status probably explains Louise’s approach to social media. What better way to build a brand than through Instagram? With almost 66K followers, she showcases some serious looks - but that’s not her everyday reality. “I feel like I really consider what I do performance art. All of the outfits and things that I do when I’m doing public stuff is what I consider part of my job, but in my down time that’s not what I like to do. It’s part of my artistry.” She goes on to tell me, “If I’m not working, I’m not wearing make up. I know that’s not the case for everyone, and some people have fun doing make up and getting dressed, all those things are FUN for them. I have fun in the realm 45

“When I started working on this project, I realised it was going to take a lot more than me being really good at one thing to be successful in the music industry.”

of my job.” She describes her style as “a fusion of all the people I’m inspired by” and names Naomi Campbell, Solange, Lil’ Kim and Diana Ross as her biggest sources of influence. “I love New York, everyone has style. There’s something about everyone owning who they are and what they are that comes through in New York. Seeing the fiercest person walking down the street is like watching Naomi Campbell on the runway!” Moving to America from the UK when she was just five, Louise has grown up between two cities. “My mum is from a city called Georgetown, Guyana. It’s like a third world country and my mum was born in the Sixties.” She tells me, “She met my Dad in London.

When her visa ran out I was maybe four or five, and she had gotten permanent residency in the States. It was a really, really hard decision for her as my dad and all my siblings did not move.”

Despite leaving at such a young age, London still feels like home. “I love London, I think London is my history. No matter how much I love America and American culture. I meet so many people who have only lived in one place their entire lives or their family roots are only in one place, and I’m so lucky in a way.”

So, what’s next for Louise? “For the rest of the year, there’s going to be a lot of focus on touring.

There are artists that release at the Soundcloud rate - every week, every month, every day because we’re in that era of need, need, need. I’m going to spend the rest of this year really perfecting my live performance and my craft. I want to give people an incredible experience.” Which makes sense, as Louise tells me her ultimate dream is a world tour. “That’s my short term, long term goal! I think that’s going to be a big moment for 46

me and I think I’ll be able to breathe and say okay, we’ve done this. We’ve gotten here, it took a long time, a lot of people told me not to think for myself, but we got here.” For someone so young, Louise is wise beyond her years and I feel like I self-reflect a lot after our conversation. “One of my battles is accepting solitude and stillness. In this era of everything moving so quickly and seeing a thousand pictures at once, it makes you think you should be living life that fast. In reality, although you have to do a lot to become successful, spiritual solitude and being content in your own mind with who you are is just as important. If you’re only happy when you receive gratification from your latest accomplishment or award, you can lose perspective. I think a lot of this year for me has been in a space where I’m trying to find out to be content and happy in solitude - but sometimes I’m restless!” She tells me the night before we speak she deleted all her social media apps, just because she wanted to feel present for our interview.

“Sometimes you can just be so restless it throws your whole week off, just because you didn’t get a good sleep that one night.” I feel like Louise could have taught me a lot of things if I had met her when I was 21. I’m looking forward to seeing where her many projects take her next; and what Aranbi will grow into. “In reality I’m not a princess, I’m not a runaway bride, I’m not Marilyn Monroe; but these are just really good stories and I think people like storytelling.”

Head to imlouisechantal.com and follow @imlouisechantal

Photography: Rachel Kaplan Creative Direction: Louise Chantรกl Image Consultation: David Mansion Hair Styling: Christine Ruzzielle Make Up: Theo Turner

LUMINARY BAKERY LAURA SUTTLE

Recently, I feel that phrases like ‘girls helping girls/girls supporting girls/girl power’ are being thrown around left, right and centre. We see them bloody everywhere - be it on a tee, a tote bag or as an Instagram hashtag underneath a glossy, brand sponsored photoshoot. The words had lost all meaning to me, until I came across Luminary Bakery. A newly opened, female run café and bakery in Stoke Newington, that offers courses and paid employment to women from underprivileged backgrounds, with an aim to break the generational cycles of abuse, prostitution, criminal activity and poverty. They are a real life female-focused project, where girls actually do help and support other girls.

Luminary is part of a charity called Kahaila, which also runs a café on Brick Lane. Many of the Luminary team originally stem from their involvement with Kahalia. “It really feels like a family,” founding member Alice explains. “Everyone who has been involved either as a member of staff, a volunteer, or trainee has described it like that and it’s a lovely environment to be part of.

We’re all super passionate about empowering women, which is the goal that unites us and drives us forward; it’s an inspiring and encouraging place to be.”

Alice describes their new cafe as “a lovely space to come and work or to bring kids, while enjoying amazing coffee and a size-of-your-face cinnamon swirl - one of our best sellers.” She intends for the space to also be used by the wider community, who have been imperative in Luminary’s success so far. “We’re really keen for Luminary to be used for evening supper clubs and events, while we continue to operate our full-time training programmes.” The programmes cover all bases, from reading scales to mastering the craft of making a perfect loaf of sourdough, all while taking each woman on a journey to employment by providing them with a host of transferable skills.

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As mentioned before, Luminary aim to change the course of fate for the women they work with. “As part of the programme, we teach life skills and character development. Each woman is paired with a support worker from the project to help with issues such as housing, immigration, job searching and really anything she needs assistance with to help her become independent. Upon graduating from our training, she has the opportunity to be paired with a professional female mentor who volunteers to meet with her monthly and guide her towards her goals.”

Throughout the week, women are able to pop in for training programmes or for one-to-one sessions with support staff and mentors. “This has been a really lovely way to involve other women who want to support the cause, but only have limited time. Seeing those relationships of sisterhood develop has been awesome.” One of the mentors lending their hand to help is Great British Bake Off quarter-finalist Benjamina Ebuehi. She says “I believe that the gifts and talents we’ve been given should be shared and used to benefit and encourage others - I’ve chosen to do that through partnering with Luminary Bakery. They are doing a wonderful job of equipping, training and listening to women and I’m so excited to be a part of the journey.’’

Alice and the team are thrilled to have her on board. “She has such a passion for baking and a really natural way of explaining difficult techniques.

Benjamina also hosts expert masterclasses which are open to anybody wanting to brush up on their baking skills.” The money raised from the expert masterclasses then goes directly back into supporting their employability programme.

“Seeing women we’ve supported, flourishing is exactly why we exist. We’ve had women attend the programme and go on to make amazing progress in their work and personal lives. Some have even started their own successful businesses.”

Luminary are always on the lookout for volunteers to teach one-off workshops, host fundraisers, cook lunch for the women on the course, help with admin or even just help clean the kitchen. To get involved just head to their website: www.luminarybakery.com @luminarybakery

Photography courtesy of Anna Stathaki / Interior Design Nina+Co

Looking to the future, Alice is hopeful to grow the cafe and wholesale business. “We’ve had brilliant bakers, business people, support staff, interns, volunteers and supporters who have enabled us to get to where we are today. The more income we generate, the more women we can support.”

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OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DAISY ELLIS

When I learned that the theme of this issue of Sister would be Space, I knew that this would have to be the first time I submitted. Having OCD affects my head space, my personal space and dictates my safe space. It’s taken years and a nervous breakdown to accept this diagnosis. Now the next step on my journey is to try to change the stigma and perceptions associated with OCD and dispel the myths by talking about it as candidly and honestly as I dare to.

According to the charity Mind, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder has two main parts: obsessions and compulsions. Seems self explanatory, but to be clear obsessions are unwelcome thoughts, images, urges, worries or doubts that repeatedly appear in your mind. They can make you feel very anxious, although some people describe it as ‘mental discomfort’ rather than anxiety. Compulsions are repetitive activities that you do to reduce the anxiety caused by the obsession. It could be something like repeatedly checking a door is locked, repeating a specific phrase in your head or checking how your body feels. If there’s one thing I’d like you to take from this piece, it’s that people are not ‘a bit OCD’ because they want to have a tidy desk or home. You’re not ‘OCD’ about having a specific thing a specific way. Naming your business ‘OCD Cleaning’ is not witty — it’s offensive.

Having grown up with a key figure in my life who is plagued by OCD and learning to live with this disorder myself, it is hurtful and insulting that it becomes trivialised to simply organising and cleaning, or being a bit ‘particular’. Please don’t ever assume it.

To be clear, OCD isn’t just about cleaning, but one of my most obvious and repetitive compulsions is cleaning or cleansing. Cleaning, for me, is almost like the antidote to the poison which is the intrusive and invasive thoughts I have. An example which causes significant mental discomfort for me at the moment is perceived dirt on the floor. Seeing spit, chewing gum or dog shit on the floor makes me 50

feel physically sick — even writing about this now I feel like every key that I touch is now coated in germs from my ‘contaminated’ thoughts of dirt, and my skin crawls. Reading that kind of statement, you might not believe that I am generally a very rational person. I understand the science of germs and bacteria, I know they are everywhere and I’m not afraid of getting sick. I am reasonable enough to recognise the irrationality in my belief that the chewing gum, dog shit or spit which I saw on a specific part of the floor on my walk to work three weeks ago, hasn’t actually left a residue which is seeping through my shoes and into my core, yet that thought is very, very real to me. I know that when I hear somebody having a smoke outside my apartment building and they spit, it’s not going on me and it’s not coming through the walls into my body, but that doesn’t make me feel any cleaner. Somebody might even breathe too close to me when I’m walking through town, and I’ll literally hold my breathe until I’m past them to stop myself from inhaling their used air. If I do inhale their air, I have to exhale a specific number of times until I’ve managed to get rid of ‘their air’.

Batshit, right?

The compulsion definitely depends on the obsession for me. When intrusive thoughts invade my head space, I might find myself repeating a phrase over and over again in my head to ‘cancel out’ the thought. I might have a vivid thought of something terrible happening to a loved one and somehow I know that if I don’t complete a certain task in a certain pattern at a certain time, then that thought will come true. Some people who know me would tell you that when they first met me I was bubbly, happy, outgoing and carefree.

But sure enough, a few months down the line I always disappear. Whenever I care for somebody, I get an overwhelming anxiety of losing them or of something terrible happening to them. This results in intrusive thoughts, which my broken brain tells me will happen because I thought them. This understandably makes relationships a challenge

Growing up in a household plagued with OCD and seeing what a profound effect it had on somebody I love is probably what kept me running away

from a diagnosis. I so desperately wanted to avoid acknowledging the possibility that I too had OCD, that I left home before I was 16 to get away from it. If my GP mentioned OCD, I’d see a different doctor. If a counsellor suggested OCD, I stopped seeing them. I even refused to say the letters for fear that they’d contaminate me with OCD. The shame of this illness and my reluctance to admit it meant that I ran away from a five year long relationship because I was terrified that my partner at the time would find out my dark

Illustration courtesy of Rosie Brand

mentally, and in trying to protect those that I love from my intrusive thoughts becoming a reality, I will completely isolate myself. I’ve lost more friends than I’ve ever managed to keep. Maybe if I’d had the courage to acknowledge my irrational thoughts sooner, I wouldn’t have pushed so many people away.

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secret — he’d realise that anything bad that had happened was all my fault because I hadn’t been able to keep up with my compulsions. It’s absurd isn’t it? This is the part that I hate the most. I recognise the irrationality, but I’m unable to move past it. At university, two of my closest friends lost family members in quick succession, and then I lost three. Because (for some reason) five is such a powerful number to me, I was adamant that because I always need things to be in sets of five, five people had died because of me. I moved out of the house I shared with those friends, and our friendship, regretfully, dwindled. It’s wrong, it’s irrational, but that doesn’t make it any less scary when these thoughts engulf you. I truly believed that my intrusive thoughts were becoming reality, and I descended into a downward spiral of excessive self medication in an attempt to switch off my brain.

At my lowest point, I had no contact with the outside world. I locked myself in my home, the longest period being for eight months and I would not leave out of fear that not only would the world contaminate me, but that I would contaminate the world. I was unable to hold, see or even speak to my loved ones because I became beyond terrified that I’d harm them in some way. In some strange attempt at protecting my loved ones, I isolate myself. Then I stop going out completely.

I stop answering my phone. I don’t reply to texts.

I remove myself from all social media. I cancel my internet bill. I disconnect my phone. Instead I spend my hours absorbed by my compulsions and rituals, cleaning not just my home, but myself.

At times I’ve literally scrubbed my skin raw with scourers in the shower because I’ve been adamant that I have dirt on me that is going to contaminate others.

Until just a few short weeks ago I’d had a pretty serious lapse in my mental health. I’d been refusing to acknowledge it and I’d been hiding it from my new colleagues. It got to the point that I was having panic attacks every day at work. I was terrified that the life I had created for myself was going to fall apart, that my colleagues would find out that I’m broken and that they’d think I was stupid for having to, put simply, complete specific tasks to relieve the anxiety of intrusive thoughts.

This meant I hid my compulsions or neglected them completely, which meant that when I got home from work I would have to make up for the whole day by ruminating and re-enacting my entire day to rectify any ‘wrong’ thoughts I’d had. I 52

know what you’re thinking — this makes absolutely no sense, does it? Long story short, I have an absolutely amazing manager and I confided in a couple of close colleagues and I couldn’t have asked for a better support network. I was given time off for appointments, my colleagues took on some of my caseload and covered my work without question when I had to hide in the post room having a panic attack. I’d been off my medication for a year or so because I was plagued with side effects, but my GP recommended a different kind of SSRI and in time I managed to get my dose right and that really helped me by quieting my brain enough that I felt I was back in control of it. The anxiety that I had from the fear of people finding out my secret was turned on its head, because I found that opening up about my disorder was not seen as an excuse, it was not seen as attention seeking, and it is not a sign of failure in any way. I was offered more support than I could have ever hoped for.

It can be very easy for me to dwell on the days, weeks and months of my life I have wasted on my obsessions and compulsions, the things I’ve missed out on because of it and the relationships I have lost because of it. But I have to remind myself that OCD has also helped propel me forward.

My obsessive nature means that I have excellent research skills, which meant that I finished top of my class at university and won an award from none other than Shane Meadows. During the first year of my job, I came second runner-up as Colleague of the Year across the whole of the North West. I have a social consciousness which allows me to work in a profession where every single day I am able to support and coach vulnerable people to change their lives in positive ways. My experiences have gifted me with an empathy and understanding of others which enables me to help them. I listen and I never judge. That underlying guilt from intrusive thoughts has instilled a strong sense of social responsibility which has allowed me to affect real, tangible change not just in my community, but in different places around the world too. I have been able, with the help of charities like Mind, The Sanctuary, and my family and friends who saw through the barriers that I put up, to use this disorder as a driving force. Don’t get me wrong, it is hard and it is a daily battle. I’ve learned the hard way that trying to pretend that battle isn’t happening makes it impossible to fight. When you let people know what’s going on, chances are they had absolutely no idea and they’ll do all they can to support you.

LIVING WITH ENDOMETRIOSIS NATALIE BLAIN

I have known about this condition for three years now, because of my older sister Laura. She was diagnosed in 2014, but has unofficially had it for ten years. When I asked her to give me a definition of endometriosis, ‘hell’ is the word that came to her mind.

“It’s hell because I get pain when I’m not even menstruating. I have it in my pelvic area and have a permanent pelvic pain.” For most women, the symptoms worsen during menstruation. “When I have my period some of the tissue (endometrium) doesn’t exit my body through the cervix, but goes back up through the fallopian tubes and attaches itself to the sides of my uterus, ovaries and even my bowel, urethra and at the end of my cervix.” It’s pretty much everywhere you don’t want it to be.

Over the last three years she’s passed out and had difficulty breathing countless times - to the point where we’ve had to call an ambulance. I distinctly remember when we were out shopping and she collapsed to the floor due to the unbearable pain.

She has also been sent home from work, not even been able to get out of bed to go to work, had to cancel holidays due to the fear of it flaring up in a foreign country and had two operations that were unsuccessful through the NHS. Now she is having to spend £18,000 to see a specialist doctor for her third operation to try and remove even more of the endometriosis from her affected areas.

“I’ve also had treatments which include three

different pills, monthly hormone injections that induced menopause when I was just 24 and that went on for eight months, the Mirena Coil and the progesterone only pill.”

Now we all know that hormonal contraception can fuck with your mental health, so on top of endometriosis Laura is dealing with anxiety and depression too. It affects her everyday routine and the life that she used to be able to live with ease.

“I used to love going for a run in the evening and now exercise is a nightmare because I’m always in so much pain. Often having sex with my husband is painful, so we rarely do it anymore. I get anxiety about going out for the fear of it flaring up.

Working is awful when I’m in pain but I’m on my final warning due to the amount of time I’ve had off sick because of it. So I try and put up with it as much as I can.” Laura takes Ibuprofen, Paracetamol and Buscopan everyday to help with the pain, and on bad days takes Tramadol. When women are diagnosed, they often get told that switching to a gluten free diet can help - Laura tried this but found that, unsurprisingly, it made no difference. Despite everything she has to endure, Laura mainly worries about her effect on people around her. “Nobody likes to see anybody else in pain and I know it affects my husband because his life gets interrupted, but there’s nothing he can do apart from support and comfort me.”

Endometriosis has weaseled it’s way into my sister’s life and at times, left no space for anything but worry, pain and misery. However, Laura has grown to be one of the strongest women I know and always manages to find the strength to pull through and carry on. Even through her worst times she has managed to get a degree in midwifery, move to London, get married and travel around America- She’s made sure that the space around her isn’t revolving around her condition and that her condition won’t define who she is as a woman.

Illustration courtesy of Rosie Brand

When you’re ill or have a medical condition, it can sometimes take over your life and become the thing that you feel defines you as a person.

Endometriosis is a condition which many women have to deal with, where tissue that behaves like the lining of the womb is found in other parts of the body like the ovaries, the fallopian tubes, inside the stomach or around the bladder and bowel. This can cause severe pain, and statistics show that one in ten women are living with this incurable condition — a condition that isn’t talked about or taken seriously enough.

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COSMIC

STRIP

Photographer: Charlotte Patmore Stylist: Leah Dionne Model: Cosmic Strip Hair & Make-up: Anastasia Lulu using Bleach

FINE LINES & FINGER BANGING GIRL ON SHOW

A few months ago, I had an incident whilst shooting with a photographer. I consider myself a strong, feminist and self-empowered woman who knows her worth. However, when those characteristics were tested during a compromising situation with a man involving sexual actions, I froze. My attitude went from ‘I am an invincible woman’ to ‘I will oblige and this will be over soon’. This left me feeling nauseous and dealing with an inner turmoil. Did I give off an inviting impression? Because I consented during the sexual acts, does that mean it was actually consensual? If this scenario felt SO wrong, why could I not say no at the time? It felt like the boundaries were blurred into one big grey area.

A lot of photo shoots I do are quite sexy. I am super comfortable with artistic nudity. In this particular shoot, I was also excited to experiment with borderline erotic photography (I’m not going to be young and hot forever!) I have to state right here, I felt like I’d been careful. I’d worked with this photographer before and he was completely professional. I’d made sure I got on creatively with him, and was comfortable letting him take these kinds of photos of me. Our ideas bounced back and forth as we chatted about angles and content. There was the occasional touch while he repositioned me, but that doesn’t exactly scream “Watch out! This dude is going to wait until you’re bent over naked to insert two fingers inside of you.”

Usually, when people first have an intimate moment, it starts off with a kiss. There’s that flicker where you look into each other’s eyes to read if making a move is a good idea. Being bent over, I had a very limited sight line. There was no look in the eyes, no moment to gauge what was going to happen, and zero opportunity to say no.

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Just two fingers suddenly inside my pussy whilst I was already frozen in a pose for a camera. I couldn’t move. It went from fingers to one step further with his mouth. I was a statue. He then took a moment to ask “Is this okay?” to which I can’t remember if I responded with an “Mmhmm” or “Yes”. But there it was, I officially consenting to a sexual encounter. After I had consented, it went a little further. My brain was in panic mode.

“This doesn’t feel right. Why doesn’t this feel right, now that I’ve said yes? Did I give off the wrong impression? Why did I not see this coming? Why can’t this be over yet?”

Eventually, it was done. He then asked me if I’d wanted this to happen. I lied and said yes, then made an excuse for a fast exit. I didn’t want anything other than my picture taken. What I wanted was to feel like an all powerful woman again. I wanted this person to understand that just because I’m a very open, pro-sex female doesn’t mean I’m an open invitation for fucking. I wanted to turn back time, so I could say no and have a confident opinion that this was sexual assault.

More than anything though, I wanted to have that moment of the look in the eyes before he tried anything with me, so I could have felt safe enough to say no in the first place.

The fact is, it was sexual assault. I didn’t suggest anything simply by showing up and acting professional (being a suggestive, naked woman is my line of work after all). I may have consented, but by the time I said yes it was irrelevant. He had already begun taking what he wanted, and asked for consent after. I now have to remind myself that my inability to defend myself in this situation does not make me any less of a strong woman.

It never should have happened in the first place.

Illustration courtesy of Rosie Brand

A SPACE IN MY HEART <3 LAURA SUTTLE

2006 was the year that my screen consumption tripled. Whether I was binge watching every MTV reality series available (which I’m still guilty of doing 11 years on), furiously messaging school friends back and forth on e-buddy - hands up if your dad also wouldn’t let you download MSN because he was paranoid about viruses! - or trying to film the My Chemical Romance Welcome To The Black Parade music video with my flip-phone camera to then watch on loop when I went to bed. I was rarely ever not in front of at least one screen.

Monday to Friday evenings would consist of getting home from my paper round and heading straight upstairs to launch the dial-up connection so I could chat online to the friends I’d spent all day at school with. Aside from a brief “brb” for dinner, my whole evening schedule was taken up chatting on the computer until the only light left in the room was the glowing blue hue of my computer screen.

Weekends weren’t much too different either, but would often be played out at friends’ houses. Just swap The Hills for a continuous loop of Linkin Park’s Live In Texas DVD and of course, e-buddy for the real deal, all-singing, all-dancing MSN and well, you’ve got an entire week of solid gold screen time. I’d just like to interject here that I did grow up in a small market town in Cumbria where, aside from a tiny Co-op there were absolutely no chain-run stores or coffee shops, much different from the lives of the teenagers I now see buzzing around Oxford Circus, hopped up on Starbucks Frappucinos. It also rained for, I swear, 98% of the time that I lived in Ulverston, which served as a perfect excuse to stay in the house, glued to a computer or TV. Crowded around my friend’s living room computer one Saturday we typed MySpace into Yahoo! and each took it in turns to sign up. We’d heard through the grapevine that, “MySpace is for emo’s, Bebo is for chavs.” and immediately felt like we needed to get in on the MySpace action to make our mark on the ‘net.

For those of you familiar with MySpace, it wasn’t a case of just popping in your details then firing out friend requests. There were so many bloody elements that each needed tweaking and you really had to put the graft in to get a gr8 profile.

Hours perfecting mine soon became days and entire evenings would disappear as I searched online for the perfect ‘emo MySpace background’.

Once installed, I would obsessively scroll through the reams of headache-inducing HTML with my nose practically pressed to the monitor, shamelessly trying to locate and remove the credit tag embedded into the design. Next up, it was time to pimp out the cursor, changing it from bland white to a chic black arrow, complete with sparkly pink stars that would trail along behind at

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the very hint of the mouse being moved or clicked.

Unsurprisingly, the glitter pissing cursor lasted about ten hot minutes before I was completely sick of it. I then subsequently fucked up my entire profile by removing the wrong bit of code trying to reset it. In the two or so years that followed, I would repeat this mistake multiple times one way or another in a bid to level up my profile, either by embedding custom music players to branch out from just having one profile track or trying to make my profile really tiny (god knows why), I was never far from making one wrong copy and paste and ending up with a buggy AF profile page.

I’ll never forget the stress of when I was making some (not) necessary changes to my layout and, yep you guessed it, deleted the wrong bit of code, making the entire background display just as text and symbols. Usually this would have just set me back an afternoon or whatever but this time I had to actually leave the house for a family dinner and pretty much had a low key meltdown, texting friends my log-in details to just put in any type of standard (‘emo’) background as a placeholder until my return. Thinking back on it, I’m not sure why I was so uptight about the whole thing, but I guess if someone went onto my IG profile now and put up a load of sub-standard pictures I’d be pretty pissed, wouldn’t you?! Also with it being my first ever form of online profile I took this shit pretty seriously.

The great thing, nay, one of the many great things about MySpace was that it absolutely lived up to its namesake. It truly felt like MY very own space. As a moody teen who wasn’t allowed to have posters on her bedroom walls, I would spend hours perfecting my page to be exactly how I wanted it. Pouring over different fonts for my profiles, continuously shuffling my top eight and searching for codes to hide default boxes that housed movie preferences and comments etc. It was a space that I had curated for myself, custom built to reflect everything I loved or thought was cool.

Don’t get me wrong, I did spend a heavy chunk of time clicking through to various other people’s pages - much like the infamous Instagram stalk of today - and I would analyse everything; what bands they’d seen live, who their top friends were.

I would end up pages-deep in their comments shamelessly reading convos they had with other people I didn’t know (which is why I then selfishly hid my own comments section). Much like the feeling of jumping into your own bed after you get back from a holiday, I always felt a sense of ease each time I pressed ‘Home’ and landed back on

my own profile after a good few hours of Myspace snooping.

I’m heartbroken to admit that I wiped my MySpace profile back in 2008. Rather than just putting my account on ice, I went into the back-end and completely undid all of the hours (years) of solid background sourcing with one quick select-all+delete, resetting the page to a neutral, plain white background. Next up to feel the wrath of the delete button was the majority of all of my photos, which I was convinced made me look immature. And over the coming months I would replace each perfectly poised shot with a crappy club night photo as an attempt to look as if I was really living life to the fullest. The thing that really gets me though, is that I one day completely forgot all about MySpace. I never noted down my ridiculously complicated log-in details, nor did I bother to even finish the master reset of my profile. What’s now left is a completely impossible to navigate page, filled with photos of questionable fancy dress outfits and so-zoomed-inthey’re-basically-just-pixelated-blob pictures from gigs. But hey, there is one very clear photo that I took of the palm of my hand with the cringiest caption, ‘Chester Bennington touched this hand :-D’, that survived the MySpace wipe and given recent events I’m weirdly glad it does.

So here’s to you MySpace, I still think about you when I’m bashing out HTML at my marketing job - I’m often still removing the wrong piece of coding and messing up entire layouts. We may have parted ways abruptly and I did forget about you for a moment some years ago, please accept this as my apology for that. There’s a special space in my < 3 just 4 u always.

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DISCONNECTED

Photography: Kyle Weeks Stylist: Venus Waterman @ Unspoken Agency Assistant Stylist: Nicole Pashchenko Hair and Make Up: Kathinka Gernant @ Unspoken Agency Models: Saif @ Riches MGMT, Romana @ Elite Model Management

Image 1 - Saif wears top by KOCHÉ, turtleneck by KOCHÉ, bottom by PALM ANGELS, boots by MARTAN. Romana wears earring by ALL BLUES, top by KOCHÉ, bottom by KOCHÉ, boots by CHRISTIAN DADA. Image 2 - blazer by JULIA SEEMANN, top by HANRO, dress by NEHERA, leather belt by MONSE, textile belt by MONSE, boots by MANÉMANÉ.

Image 3 - coat by SANKUANZ, blazer by SANKUANZ, sweater by JULIA SEEMANN, pants by SANKUANZ, shoes by HUGO BOSS. Image 4 - scarf by &OTHER STORIES, col by &OTHER STORIES, blouse by CHRISTIAN DADA, skirt by MARTAN, shoes by CHRISTIAN DADA. Image 5 - ROMANA wears sunglasses by MANÉMANÉ, top by PALM ANGELS, bottom by PALM ANGELS, shoes by MANÉMANÉ.

SAIF wears top by PALM ANGELS, hoodie by PALM ANGELS, pants by PALM ANGELS, shoes by MARTAN.

Illustration courtesy of Rosie Brand

WASTE OF SPACE NICOLE BEST ON HOW TO DECLUTTER YOUR LOVE LIFE

You’re in the kitchen, trying to decide what to eat. What’s the first thing you do? You go to your pantry. Everyone’s pantries are the same, seeming to only accumulate food. Things actually hibernate in there. That can of chicken noodle soup in the back corner? We all have it.

After digging around still having found nothing, you decide to clean it out. At the point in the near future when the willpower to actually do so succumbs you, you take out a trash bag and begin clearing. Sometimes, you discover things that you forgot existed. Sometimes, you stumble across something you forgot you absolutely couldn’t live without. You think to yourself, “What really is better? Cheez-Its or Goldfish?” You also stumble upon food that now repulses you. Food that you question yourself for ever purchasing. “Did I really think I was going to eat this canned turkey chilli?

I bought it a year ago and it still has a year until it expires…” Expiration date aside, you know you shouldn’t dive in. But you do anyway, because you’re hungry. You end up eating something that shouldn’t be crunchy, but is in fact just that.

I’m getting somewhere with this, I promise.. That guy that you dated two years ago, who came back into your life suddenly and swiftly out of nowhere, is like the stale bag of chips you forgot about. Please don’t open him. Throw him away.

Because the memory of him tastes good, but the present day him will leave you disappointed and unsatisfied. That guy you dated last month that you tried and didn’t like, just toss him. It’s a waste of time (and calories) to consume something that doesn’t fully service you and your end goals. Which may or may not be a relationship. Regardless, we need to stop letting people into our lives who we know are stale. The ex’s of the world, the guy who ghosted you after four dates, the people you just have sex with hoping it turns into something more. Leave these people behind. We shouldn’t keep them locked away in our pantries because

inevitably, we’re telling ourselves that we don’t want to actually get rid of them. Because what happens when your pantry gets too full? You don’t have space for new things to fit in. Love is the ultimate unifier; the thing that unites us all as human beings. It’s something every single person in this world experiences at one point or another, which if you think about it, is a lot of love. And everyone knows what that feels like. Why else do we exclaim how much we love something (like avocados, for instance) when you and I both know you can’t date an avocado.

So clear out the space in your pantry. Make room for new items, analyse the ingredients that go into them — making sure none of that fake shit is there. We want REAL food, people. Anything you can’t pronounce, say goodbye to. We want nonGMO, organic, pasture-raised partners thank you very much. Or at least, we want to know what we are getting ourselves into.

At this age, this twenty-something age that Buzzfeed loves to tell us so much about, it’s okay to have a full pantry. It’s not okay for stale items to be taking so much space in them. Buy new foods, go shopping, and clean them out. The worst thing you can do is try something you don’t like. We all need to make space; it’s just a matter of when we decide to do so.

Follow @haikcantiwthyou

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HANGER INC

BECCY HILL MEETS CLAIRE DAVIS

“Since I was super young, I always wanted to be either a fashion designer or a horse rider. I couldn’t afford a horse, but I could afford a sewing machine!” Claire Davis is the 27-year-old founding director behind latex label Hanger Inc. We both went to the same university, but studied different courses. Five years later, I wonder how she feels about her time at UCA. “I think three years of actually making stuff helped me develop my own style. It was good to have the time to do that, I had good technicians and learned how to make stuff really well.” However, it wasn’t without it’s obstacles. “The tutors hated me. There was a guy who copied my exact shit all the time. I’m a mixed race girl, and they didn’t give a shit about me at all.” Despite this, she’s going back to the campus to speak in November for a career day they’re hosting. “I think it’s important to go into schools and do stuff like that. I’ve done a few workshops at Leyton sixth form. They only get the point of view of older white people who’ve done things in a very traditional way, and that’s worked

for them cos that’s what the structure works for.

But kids aren’t like that nowadays and uni costs like, a zillion pounds and it’s not the only option.

But no-one tells people that!”

Progressing from her eight-year-old self’s home sewn designs to having her own label hasn’t been smooth. Claire is actually allergic to latex.

“Everyone thinks that I’m a psychopath who was like ‘Yeah! Let’s start working with this even though I’m allergic to it.’ But the thing is, I was working with latex for a year and a half when I was working with this designer. All of a sudden, I was like ‘Fucking hell, I’m ill every single time I come to work’ and then we realised that I had just become allergic to latex and talc through using it.”

Sod’s law at its finest, but she wasn’t about to give up. “By that time, I was like I’m actually good at making it now, I’ve spent so much time on it and I love it...I’m not going to let this allergy defeat me. Nature is trying to fuck with my shit, but I’m not going to let it happen!” Despite her positive 69

attitude, it doesn’t make things easy on a day to day, logistical level. “It’s a ballache. I can take an antihistamine if it’s really bad. I try not to ingest it and wear a mask if I need to.” Claire also loses out on perhaps the biggest perk of being a clothing designer. “No, I can’t wear it. I will be covered in hives. I can’t have it close to my skin because even antihistamines won’t save me then. But other people can wear it!”

Despite woven garments featuring in the Hanger range, the primary focus is the use of latex in an accessible, wearable way. Which aren’t words you would usually associate with the fabric, as Claire recognises. “Obviously it’s used almost exclusively by the fetish world. Other than rubber gloves and tyres, they are the only people using it and it looks great for that aesthetic.” However, she feels that the perception is changing. “I don’t understand why it’s taken so long for people to use latex as a fabric for clothing outside of that realm. It’s so surprising to me that people are only really doing that now, like in the past few years. It’s quite rare to get someone who’s not in that scene to want something rubber. I think it’ll take a bit of time.

For some reason, people’s minds are really slow to adjust to a fabric not being used for a particular purpose, but I think you can definitely wear it in a non-fetish way.” She points out that not all of Hanger’s pieces are skin tight and revealing - the Ana jacket for example. “It’s not a sexy piece, it’s an interesting piece. A little bit oversized, boxy and it’s kind of like a classic fit really.”

Another great thing about using latex are it’s renewable qualities, which Claire believes is an important aspect of her brand’s ethos. “I think to be honest, it’s just common sense. I’m not a big brand with 10,000 units of each item being made in China. I think when you come from doing things from the ground up, it’s a lot easier for you to have that quality control and check that stuff is being made in the right place.” However, she does admit that, “It’s really hard to go through every single part of your supply and production chain and make sure that it’s ethical. It’s really difficult to get all that information and to get that clarity when I’m sourcing.” She also acknowledges that whilst “on a consumer level more people are more bothered about [sustainability] than before” the same customers also “want everything, they want it now and they want it cheap.” She continues, “I get told my stuff is too expensive. Latex is sometimes 18 pounds to 25 pounds a metre. It’s also people in England making clothes for my label, who I’m 72

paying a decent wage. My mark up isn’t big, but that’s where the money goes. It’s actually going into the production, it’s going into nice material.”

I wonder how long a typical garment takes to make. “The red jeans can take three hours each.

Stuff with the big demon head on the back, that shit takes forever, it’s like a five hour job. It takes fucking ages and no-one realises.”

Claire is half Japanese, and this influence is heavily apparent throughout Hanger’s visual identity.

However, she tells me, “I’m quite detached from Japanese culture. I can hardly speak the language, and I’ve only been to Japan a handful of times. I use design as a way to explore Japanese culture, as I’ve lived in London my whole life.” Despite this, she has an active interest in Japanese cinema, and in the philosophy of the people. “I like the attitude towards doing things. It’s really about craftsmanship. Obviously Japan is known for its minimalism and to me that really resonates as I’m such a non-fill person. Like, it’s there for a purpose or it’s not there at all.” Claire tells me about her design process, which is something I find intriguing about all artists and designers.

“When I design, I have a girl gang in mind.

They’re a fictional one, but it’s very reflective of my group of mates. Every character in my crew, is in my fictional crew. They’re in a gang and they all believe the same things, they’re all confident to some degree, some less than others cos that’s real life.” Actively rejecting the idea of a muse, Claire says she isn’t interested in designing for one person. “I’m interested in loads of different types of people. Of course I’m going to design with a group in mind. I’m always designing for a mood and how people would react to that mood.” She says she hates being asked who she’d like to see wearing Hanger clothes. “I want who fucking wants to wear them to wear them, and someone who’s gonna bang the shit out of them!” She then tells me, “Most of my best ideas come when I’m lying down in bed and I’m really high. Then I come into the studio next day and I make them.”

Last year, Claire won the ASOS Fashion Discovery prize, beating over 600 contestants to the £50,000 reward. “I was absolutely gassed when I won it! I never win anything, I’m so unlucky.”

Despite doing her application in forty minutes as she was about to go on holiday to Greece, she got shortlisted as one of the competition’s finalists. “I was like, this is actually a joke! This kind of stuff is so surreal. But when I had to do the presentation, I prepped hard. I chatted to my mates who do big

commercial pitches and got them to train me, I filmed a video, made goodie bags and thought if I don’t smash this then I’m an idiot. It was how I felt at uni, like this attitude of I’m just gonna do my best work and they’ll still hate it anyway.” She says that post winning, she’s endured the biggest learning curves of her adult life. “It was nice to have money for a minute. Any money that goes into a fashion business it’s like dust mate, it’s a never ending pit.” And the benefits so far: “I’ve been able to work with people that I wanted to work with, pay back people that I’ve wanted to pay back - I’ve been able to expand my horizons a lot. I’ve got this banging new website, and ordinarily I’d never be able to work with people like that. To be able to work with other creatives is probably the most important thing.” Although I’m sure the best is yet to come, as Hanger will be launching on ASOS in September. Claire’s relieved that her intense work period over the past four months will be over. “This year has been so crazy, I want to focus on relaxing and doing things in a way that’s feasible for my mental and physical energy. I actually got really ill over everything.

I have some plans for what I want the next collection to be like, but I’m trying to plan my life so that I don’t have a mental break down every six months.” We discuss the archaic fashion week schedule which drives many designers to their absolute limit. “Especially with young designers, kids start developing mental illnesses right from university. In fashion it’s a live or die situation, with people pushing themselves near to death or having breakdowns and everyone just thinks it’s normal. If it was in anything else, people wouldn’t think it was normal.” It’s something which Claire has realised as she’s grown up with the label.

“I’m older, I’ve been doing this for four years.

I’m not doing this business for anyone but me, I can launch my collection whenever I goddamn want.” She advises that “The most useful thing is to realise what you’re good at, and what you’re shit at. There’s always help out there, you just need to ask for it. Don’t work yourself too hard.”

then handles the socials, because as Claire tells me, “I’m the worst at social media.” Claire cites self education as the key to running her business. “You just have to be really proactive and find stuff out.

Like maybe I can get a course in this, read shit loads on this. Or just ask a bloody mate.” She says, “I quite like my studio now. At the end of last year I got a new studio, and it’s my first place on my own.

It’s nice to be able to make my working space my own.” With some decent speakers and occasionally smoking inside, Claire says it’s extremely chilled and her favourite space to work.

Issey Miyake is Claire’s dream collaborator.

“Why? He’s the shit. Literally my fave. He’s a true craftsman.” However, she does appreciate homegrown female talent. “Lots of women that I know are mad talented, great people. It’s nice to have that in your immediate surroundings.

Everyone I know, even if they aren’t the most successful, is taking steps to do what they want to do. We’re literally smashing the game.” She’s big on work life balance, which is refreshing to hear. “In London you’re expected to be a creative machine turning out bomb ideas 24/7 and it’s not physically possible. I might designate some time to fully not doing anything. Maybe I’ll watch a film, maybe I’ll take two minutes and appreciate doing nothing. Maybe I’ll be like ‘Fuck this shit!’ and do something else.” Claire has a truly infectious spirit, and she doesn’t take herself too seriously. She’s also passionate about the present. “It’s a good time to be a woman in the industry, there’s a great energy of ‘Let’s work together and do this!’ There’s such community spirit amongst women at the moment.”

She reflects that, “With people like Trump turning everyone into mindless pigs that hate women, it’s good to do something for the cause!” I think Claire describes Hanger, and herself best when she says, “A lot of the visuals I make, on the whole, are quite sexy but I think it’s more of the attitude. It’s not like we’re doing low cut tops and tiny skirts, it’s more about the overall confidence instead.”

Shop hangerinc.co.uk and follow @hanger_inc

As anyone starting out themselves will know, “It’s tiring as hell. You don’t receive training for this kind of stuff.” Claire reckons that 1% of her job role is actually designing. “It’s seriously nothing cos everything else takes up way more time. The more you grow, the more challenges there are, you always want to do something new. I do like a bloody challenge!” Her team is made up of Annika as a brand manager who is “really good at strategy and looking at things objectively”. Petra 73

BODY TALK

Photography: Stephanie Sian Smith Make Up: Julia Edwards All Clothing + Jewellery: Claireâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Own

HOW TO BUY AND BENEFIT FROM CRYSTALS ESME MARSH

Amethysts and citrine, and quartz of all sorts. Chances are, if you’ve not noticed an increased number of your friends adhering an interest to crystal healing, you’ve been living under a rock. Sorry. But seriously, we’re currently experiencing a second-wave spiritual awakening nearly as strong as that of 2012. The ‘end of the world’ that prompted us to question that maybe, there’s more to a fulfilled life than we originally thought and that stones and the power of positive energy are things we could really tap into. This time around however, we’re using our resources, Instagramming every cleanse we take and spreading the magick with a capital K. We’re sick of the melancholy

of healing properties that no matter what imbalances our lives endure, we all have an accessible potential to create synchronising energy that can harmonise our daily struggles. Crystals are formed through consistent molecular structures and therefore work to balance any inconsistent energies they are faced with. Pick one out, charge one up, put it in your pocket for the day and reap the rewards - whether that be mental clarity, a better night’s sleep or assistance to anxiety.

and our governments leaving us with next-to-nothing. We are making this little thing we call ‘life’ mean something for ourselves and we’re manifesting our own fates. We millennials aren’t named the ‘crystal children’ for no reason.

my friend. Now it’s time to choose your weapon of choice.

Although there are some crystals more popular than others, I tend to choose my crystals by firstly understanding what I would like assistance with - rather than just picking out one that’s my favourite colour. Once I’ve established what purpose I’d like my crystal for, whether it be Turquoise to aid my dry skin or Aventurine to help me easily express my feelings, it’s time to buy my crystal. Go into your shop of choice with the intention for your crystal clearly expressed in your mind and then let the stone pick you. Always use your intuition and go for the one you’re first drawn to, even if you later spot one that’s sparklier or smoother to your

It goes without saying; shit happens. Shit happens and we get overwhelmed with emotion, we experience physical failures and we all have struggles. Crystal healing is nothing new, but is indeed a wildly popularised practise amongst this new-gen of the spiritually aware. And you’ll be surprised how much these dreamy, astral stones can help.

There are so many crystals out there with such a variety

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So if you’ve decided you want to give crystals a go, you’ve already opened up to healing - the law of attraction is real,

eye. I’ve sometimes even felt physical vibrations in my hand when I’ve really connected to a stone I was supposed to.

I also recommend an in-person buying experience rather than ordering your stones online as you can be more certain of the energies they hold and whether they feel right to you. You can also be more certain of legitimisation when buying from an IRL shop.

Although I by no means recommend solely relying on crystals to fix a heartache or a headache, opening your mind and heart to what they can do can really help you heal. You’re making their powers your reality. If you want to

try crystal healing but are really unsure of where to begin, here are some of my favourites that could inspire your own collection:

Rose Quartz - The stone of unconditional luuuurv. I have been using Rose Quartz as part of my daily ritual for nearly two years and now, I couldn’t live without it. Said to enhance self-love and attracting it from others, I rub my body with this stone every morning - taking particular care over my heart.

Black Tourmaline - An extremely grounding stone with a particular shielding power from the unwanted electromagnetic energies our tech devices can hold. If you work at a computer all day, make sure you have Black Tourmaline behind it for protection.

Opal - I studied a creative course at University, where many days consisted of coming up with concepts and content. I took an Opal stone along with me most days for enhancing inspiration and creativity. I’m not gonna give my Opal all of my credit for my first class honours, but you know… *wink*

Hematite - Other than being a handy mirror when you’re without, Hematite is a great stone to travel and ground with. If I’m travelling abroad or making a long trip, I make sure I have a Hematite stone with me to make me feel more connected to the earth and for a more easygoing trip.

Amethyst - If you’re into meditation or mindfulness, amethyst is extremely useful for quieting the mind and relieving stress and anxiety. I like a lot of silence and amethyst helps me achieve a peaceful state when I can’t always have as quiet an environment as I’d like.

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