Single
& celibate
A comedienne takes a sabbatical from men BY VERONICA BLAKE • Photos by Veronica Blake, Sexposé
A
bstinence was easy for Claire Brosseau – until she met a new man. On May 18, the self-described boy-crazy Toronto comedian aand actress gave up sex for a year. Inspired by year-long non-fiction stunt books, such as Julie Powell’s foray into French cooking in Julie and Julia, she decided to start a blog entitled The 1 Year Manbbatical. “I think about boys all the time,” Brosseau confesses. “Not having orgasms is not the issue. I can do that by myself. It’s much more pleasant to be doing it with someone else.” Feeling that her career was stalling and at 33 her biological clock was ticking, Brosseau realized she had to make a change. She decided that her relationships with men were the problem and the solution would be to abstain from all romantic relationships. She realized sex was making her feel anxious and unhappy. She had endured a series of terrible relationships and was ready for something different. “I was on this path of choosing the wrong men for me,” she said. “If I’m just sleeping with somebody, I invest so much. And it’s not reciprocated.” She developed the project and website within days of her sexual epiphany. The stipulations of the 1 Year Manbbatical include no sex, dating, kissing or flirting of any kind. The 10 rules even prohibit sexually suggestive communication, including text messages, Facebook status updates and Twitter tweets. She has also banned handholding and taking pictures with men. Brosseau deliberately made the rules strict to prevent the minor flirtatious behaviours that, she felt, led her to make bad romantic decisions. She managed to avoid temptation and stave off the lust and loneliness she felt until the five-month mark of the project, when she kissed a fellow comic. Other than using pseudonyms in place of the proper names of her friends and lovers, Brosseau does not censor her blog. When she kissed ‘Magic Trick’ he asked her not to blog about it, but she did anyway.
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“Imagine I hadn’t (blogged about it) and people found out about it,” she said. “Then nobody would take this project seriously. I wouldn’t be able to take myself seriously. It would be a sham.” The biggest test came a few weeks later when she met ‘Him.’ “I’m not in love with ‘Him,’ but deep, overwhelming feelings came up for me that have been suppressed,” she wrote on her blog. “I’m not talking about lust. That’s been bubbling at my surface for quite some time. I’m like a raging bag of sexual propellant.” A typical posting on The 1 Year Manbbatical can include Brosseau’s feelings for her unrequited crushes, explicit sexual fantasies or the back story on former boyfriends and lovers. She has received some flack from her readers who feel that she talks about men too much for someone who is on a manbbatical. She feels this stems from misconceptions about the project. “It’s actually not a project with no dudes. It’s a project with me not dating,” she said. “On stage, I talk a lot about sexuality and my sex life and my body… I think it’s an important thing to talk about and something that we don’t have to take super seriously.”
As of May
“I am an a ctor and sta nd 18th 2010 , I’ve given -up comedian. I am boy-crazy. up on rom (Or wome antic love n. I get slig for 365 da htly gay aft ys. No men er a few co . cktails...)” – Claire Br From her b osseau log, ‘The 1 Year Manb b atical’ www.claire brosseau.c om
The 10 Rules of the Manbbatical Despite some negative comments, her readers are generally encouraging. Justin Beach is an avid reader and has been blogging for the past five years. “I’ve taken my share of criticism, slander and cheap shots,” he said. “Sadly, the Internet, which gives everyone the opportunity to share their ideas and experiences, also gives people the opportunity to anonymously say things that they would never say in a face-to-face conversation.” Ultimately, Brosseau has hopes of turning the project into a book once the year is complete. This attracted the attention of Michael Hollett, cofounder and co-owner of Now Magazine in Toronto. He was the driving force in the decision to syndicate her blog online. Hollett met Brosseau through mutual friends over a year ago, but it was his assistant and other colleagues who introduced him to the blog. “I was intrigued; they were compelled,” Hollett said. “I guess sometimes one has to clear the palate, whether they’re dining or dating.” While she has yet to decide what exactly she will do once the project is over, right now Brosseau is focused on personal growth and the journey involved. “The ultimate goal for me is to change… To figure out why I do the things I do with men, why I treat myself the way I treat myself, why I might hop into bed with somebody,” she said. “I just want to be better than I am.”
1. No sex 2. No kissing 3. No flirty texts, emails or conversations of any kind 4. No dates (including lunch and coffee) 5. No handholding 6. No pictures 7. No suggestive status updates/tweets 8. No looking at dudes’* website/Facebook/Twitter page more than once every 24 hours 9. No inviting boys* to my shows or going to theirs 10. No making any decisions based on dudes* (including gigs, outings or number of drinks consumed once realized said boys* are in same location)
*Men/man-boy-child of particular interest.
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