San Diego Jewish Journal Sept. 2016 by San Diego Jewish Journal

SEPTEMBER 2016 l AV â&#x20AC;¢ ELUL 5776

HIGH HOLIDAYS

planning starts early

the surprising connection between

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email: ramonabain@aol.com 2 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2016

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From the gifted pen of America’s favorite playwright, Neil Simon, comes one of his funniest plays; a love letter to his early career as a writer for Sid Caesar’s “Your Show of Shows.” As you clutch your sides in laughter, you’ll see why The New York Times hailed LAUGHTER as “one of Simon’s best, most enduring and endearing plays.”

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Av • Elul 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 3

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The Diller Teen Tikkun Olam Awards are funded by the Helen Diller Family Foundation, a supporting foundation of the Jewish Community Federation and Endowment Fund.

4 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2016

For your noshing needs and magnificent meals

As it says in the Talmud: “There can be no joy without food and drink.” How true that is! At Gelson’s, you’ll find the highest quality meat and fish, exquisite produce, carefully selected gourmet and grocery items as well as an assortment of kosher products. For the High holidays, we offer certified-kosher and kosher-style meals and dishes. Whatever you might need, a member of the Gelson’s team is ready to help you. There’s always a satisfying choice at our famous Service Deli. Entrées, sandwiches, salads, and more, made from fresh, seasonal ingredients at their peak of flavor. For 65 years, Gelson’s has built its reputation on unmatched quality, convenience, cleanliness, and service. Life is short. Why not love the food you eat? Visit your local Gelson’s today or check out our site www.gelsons.com.

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8/18/16 10:47 AM September Issue: Orange County Jewish Life Av • Elul 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 7 & San Diego Jewish Journal 1631_RAOCJ

CONTENTS

September 2016

Av/Elul 5776

HIGH HOLIDAYS:

Browse our annual list of High Holiday services to get a jump on your plans. This year, we've included Temecula and Palm Springs synagogues in the listings.

HIGH HOLIDAYS: Beginning to explore the themes of the High Holiday season, Pat Launer shares Brenda Adelman's harrowing story of tragedy and forgiveness.

SENIORS: In this unprecedented election season, the issues that affect seniors are mostly ignored, but that doesn't mean seniors are going to easily sit this one out. Eva Beim asks a small handful of Jewish seniors what they think of politics these days, and how they'll make up their minds come November.

CHARITABLE GIVING: A look at the economic impact of San Diego's nonprofit sector - it's not just fundraisers and good feels.

CHARITABLE GIVING: Mark Zuckerberg donated $1 billion in appreciated stock to a donor advised fund and you should too! Maybe...

8 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2016

72 MONTHLY COLUMNS 12 The Starting Line 22 Parenting 24 Israeli Lifestyle 26 Aging 28 Spirituality 82 Advice

ALSO IN THIS ISSUE:

AROUND TOWN 18 Our Town 20 The Scene 74 What's Goin' On 80 Synagogue Life

63 CHARITABLE GIVING:

IN EVERY ISSUE 14 Mailbag 16 What’s Up Online 76 Diversions 78 News 81 Shabbat Sheet

56 SENIORS:

Podcasts are not just for millennials, if this rabbi has anything to do with it.

60 SENIORS:

Senior events at the major Jewish senior centers, scheduled through the fall. Jamie Gold just needed a quick change of pace, what she found in Israel was a new direction for life.

70 FINANCE:

Hadassah will host a day-long financial seminar for women only.

72 FOOD:

Chicken Paprikash from Hungary to SoCal.

Av • Elul 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 9

www.sdjewishjournal.com September 2016 • Av/Elul 5776

PUBLISHERS • Mark Edelstein and Dr. Mark Moss

Jeffrey R Liber, CFP® Managing Director-‐ Investments CA Insurance Lic #0C28496 jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com

858-‐523-‐7904 Launer, www.liberlincolnwmg.com 12531 High Bluff HDigh rive, STE D4rive, 00 STE 400 12531 Bluff www.liberlincolnwmg.com Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® 12531 H igh BD luff Drive, TE D 00 San iego, CSA 94iego, 2130 San CA 92130 Senior Vice President-‐ Investments San Diego, CA 92130 CA Insurance Lic #0821851 858-‐523-‐7858-‐ 904 523-‐7904 858-‐523-‐7904 858-‐523-‐7904 www.liberlincolnwmg.com

don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com www.liberlincolnwmg.com 12531 High Bluff Drive, STE 400

Jeffrey R LC iber, CFP® Jeffrey RR LLiber, CCFP® Jeffrey R LAlissa iber, FP® Jeffrey iber, FP® addell W Managing Director-‐ Investments AVP -‐ Registered Client Associate DDirector-‐ IInvestments Managing DManaging irector-‐ Investments Managing irector-‐ nvestments insurance Lic #0I18483 CA Jeffrey R L#iber, FP® CA nsurance LL0C28496 ic CA Lic Insurance CA Insurance #0C28496 CA LIIic nsurance ic #C#0C28496 0C28496 Jeffrey Managing R Liber, CDFP® alissa.waddell@wfadvisors.com irector-‐ Investments jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com Director-‐ LIic nvestments CA Insurance #0C28496 Managing jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com CA Insurance Lic #0C28496 jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS

12531 12531 High High BBluff luff DDrive, rive, SSTE TE B4400 00 Drive, STE 400 Tori Avey, Betsy Baranov, Linda Bennett, Eva Beim, Judith Fein 12531 High luff San D iego, CCA A 992130 2130 12531 H igh Bluff Drive, STE 400 San Diego, San Diego, CA 92130 (Senior Travel Correspondent), Michael Fox, Brie Stimson, Pat 858-532-7904 858-‐ 5 23-‐ 7 904 San Diego, CA 92130 858-523-7913

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF • Natalie Jacobs CREATIVE DIRECTOR • Derek Berghaus ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR • Eileen Sondak OFFICE MANAGER • Ronnie Weisberg INTERN • Caline Chitayat

San Diego, CA 92130 Don CCFP®, IMA® 858-‐ 5L23-‐ 904 Don incoln, CCIMA® Don Lincoln, CLLincoln, FP®, C7IMA® Gina Grimmer Don incoln, CFP®, CIMA®

Registered lient Associate Senior VVice PPresident-‐ nvestments Senior ice resident-‐ IInvestments Senior VCice President-‐ IPnvestments Senior Vice resident-‐ Investments CA Don insurance Lic #Insurance 0178195 Lincoln, CIFP®, CIMA® CA CA nsurance Lic #0821851 0821851 CA ILnsurance LIic #0821851 CA nsurance Lic #0821851 Don incoln, FP®, CIMA® Eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com Senior Vice PCresident-‐ Investments don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com Senior Vice President-‐ Investments CA Insurance Lic #0821851 don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com CA Insurance Lic #0821851 don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com

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and Insurance Products: !NOT FDIC Insured !NO Bank Guarantee !MAY Lose Value Investment Gina GW rimmer Gina Grimmer @JeffreyLiberWFA @DonLincolnWFA Gina Grimmer Alissa Gina Waddell Alissa Grimmer Gina addell Grimmer @DonLincolnWFA @JeffreyLiberWFA Wells@DonLincolnWFA Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC, Member SIPC, is a registered broker-dealer and a separate non-bank@JeffreyLiberWFA affiliate of Fargo & EDITORIAL: editor@sdjewishjournal.com Registered Client A Registered lient ssociate Registered -‐W Company. Registered Client Associate AVP R egistered lient AACssociate Client Associate AVP RCC egistered CAssociate lient Associate lient ssociate Gina Grimmer -‐ Registered Alissa addell ©2009CA Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC. All rights reserved. 88580 –v1 -0312-2590 (e7460) CA insurance Lic #O178195 i nsurance L ic # O178195 ADVERTISING: marke@sdjewishjournal.com CA i nsurance L ic # 0178195 Registered C lient A ssociate CA insurance L ic # 0I18483 CA i nsurance L ic # 0178195 AVP -‐ R egistered C lient A ssociate CA i nsurance L ic # 0I18483 CA i nsurance L ic # O178195 Jeffrey Liber Jeffrey L iber Don eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com L incoln Don Lincoln eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com CA ic #0178195 insurance Lic #0I18483 Eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com alissa.waddell@wfadvisors.com CA alissa.waddell@wfadvisors.com insurance LEugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com Jeffrey Liber Don Lincoln CIRCULATION & SUBSCRIPTIONS: ronniew@sdjewishjournal.com eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com Investment and Insurance Products: !NOT FDIC Insured !NO Bank Guarantee !MAY Lose Value Eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com alissa.waddell@wfadvisors.com Bank Guarantee !MAY Lose Value Investment and Insurance Products: !NOT FDIC Insured !NO ART DEPARTMENT: art@sdjewishjournal.com Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC, Member SIPC, is a registered broker-dealer and a separate non-bank affiliate of Wells Fargo & Investment and Insurance Products: !NOT FDIC Insured !NO Bank Guarantee !MAY Lose Value Company.

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TAKE BACK YOUR LIFE

(12 issues). Send subscription requests to SDJJ, 5665 Oberlin Drive, Suite 204, San Diego, CA 92121. The San Diego Jewish Journal is a free and open forum for the expression of opinions. The opinions expressed herein are solely the opinion of the author and in no way reflect the opinions of the publishers, staff or advertisers. The San Diego Jewish Journal is not responsible for the accuracy of any and all information within advertisements. The San Diego Jewish Journal reserves the right to edit all submitted materials, including press releases, letters to the editor, articles and calendar listings for brevity and clarity. The Journal is not legally responsible for the accuracy of calendar or directory listings, nor is it responsible for possible postponements, cancellations or changes in venue. Manuscripts, letters, documents and photographs sent to the Journal become the physical property of the publication, which is not responsible for the return or loss of such material. All contents ©2016 by San Diego Jewish Journal. The San Diego Jewish Journal is a member of the American Jewish Press Association and the Jewish Telegraphic Agency.

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Av • Elul 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 11

THE STARTING LINE by Natalie Jacobs

EDITOR’S LETTER editor@sdjewishjournal.com

One-Hit Wonders

made the mistake of looking at Donald Trump’s Twitter feed late one morning. I was lured in by the promoted ad I’ve been seeing every time I log into our @sdjewishjournal account – “I’m with YOU. I will work hard and never let you down. Make America Great Again!” Each time I read it, I get Rick Astley’s “Never Gonna Give You Up” song stuck in my head. It’s that line, “never let you down,” that gets me. In Astley’s 1987 usage, he promises to never give you up and never let you down. He also says he’ll never run around and desert you. He will never make you cry, never say goodbye. Finally, he’ll never tell a lie or hurt you. If you watch the music video, you’ll also get contagious head-bobs, overly aggressive finger snaps, and a few carefully placed hip thrusts. Much like how Rick Astley repeats the “never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down” chorus six times in his three and a half minute song, Donald Trump uses the “never let you down” line in more than just Promoted Tweets. In May, he told the National Rifle Association he will never let them down. He reintroduced the line in his first address at the Republican National Convention, live-tweeted it during Ted Cruz’s combative speech there, and Melania, Trump’s third wife, repeated it on his behalf in her own speech. It’s not just the vapid and unimaginative line that bothers the writer in me, it’s the boldfaced lie of it that really pushes the panic button in my brain. It was a stretch for Rick Astley to say it to whatever lover he was singing to in that kitchy, joke of a song but the point shouldn’t have to be made that it is an entirely other thing to have a presidential nominee say it. The wonderful thing about this country is that we’re allowed to let each other down with our vast array of opinions

12 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2016

It’s not just the vapid and unimaginative line that bothers the writer in me, it’s the boldfaced lie of it that really pushes the panic button in my brain.

movers&

Shakers

Sarah Miller (née Schoonmaker) has been promoted to Director of StandWithUs San Diego. Chelsea Natan was brought on as community outreach coordinator. In her new role, Miller has revamped the board of the local advocacy group, and personal perceptions without having to fear with 12 new members, six death or persecution. How can you look at the continuing members and one problems facing this country and claim that your continuing student advisor. solutions will not leave anyone feeling overlooked or unheard? ⦿ It would be easy to believe Donald Trump, Rick Astley and all of the 80s’ one-hit wonders, but we Jewish Federation of San Diego welcomes Melissa Chapman know real life doesn’t come that easy. as its new chief development On page 52 of this magazine you will encounter officer. Chapman has more Eva Beim’s reporting on a patchwork of San than 20 years experience in Diego Jewish seniors who stand befuddled by this Federations across the country, election. Many years of voting may not be able most recently in Sacramento to provide the wise words that we’re all looking where she resided as CEO for for to explain what’s happening, but these people’s five years. opinions are worth taking a look at. Also in the uncomfortable-but-true category ⦿ for this month, Pat Launer brings us Brenda Adelman’s story of tragedy and forgiveness. The Old Globe announced It’s not every issue that we get to tell this kind the departure of its managing of story, and it comes just in time for the deep director Michael G. Murphy introspection of the High Holidays. Also worth who is leaving San Diego to noting here, because of the dates of this year’s accept a position at the head of Holidays, we’ll be covering more Rosh Hashanah Shea’s Performing Arts Center and Yom Kippur themes next month. We hope to in Buffalo, N.Y. The Globe’s see you then. A Board Chair Vicki L. Zeiger noted that the board began working immediately to develop a plan to find his replacement.

xhnt xic

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Send us your comments: editor@sdjewishjournal.com 5665 Oberlin Dr., Ste 204, San Diego, CA 92121

CORRECTIONS In the Our Town column from our August issue, a few names were spelled wrong. Gary and Lisa Levine, Jason Galea and David Zeligson were all in attendance at the Seacrest Village Patron Recognition Party on July 10. The San Diego Jewish Journal regrets the misspellings of their names. Also in our August issue, in “Theater Life, for Ben Fankhauser, is ‘Beautiful,’” the address to the Brill Building was incorrectly noted. It is located at 1619 Broadway in Times Square, New York City. The SDJJ regrets this error.

@SANDIEGOJEWISHJOURNAL

ON THE COVER This month’s cover photo is a shot of Cindy Bloch, Seacrest Foundation board member and chair of legacy giving, at this year’s 25th Annual Golf & Tennis Tournament to benefit Seacrest Village Retirement Communities.

The photo was taken by Bob Ross and provided courtesy of Seacrest Village. More details on the tournament, and photos from the day-long event can be found on page 18 of this magazine.

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what’s up on sdjewishjournal.com

BLACK LIVES MATTER CLASHES WITH AMERICAN JEWS

LIKE HUMMINGBIRDS IN A GARDEN

The Movement for Black Lives released its sweeping policy platform in early August. The move became controversial for the Jewish community when media outlets began reporting on specific language in the “Invest-Divest” section that accuses Israel of genocide, calls for the U.S. to halt military funding to Israel and encourages the BDS movement. JTA News spoke with one of the writers of that particular platform, who said he understands the Jewish community’s perspective but was surprised by the swift outrage. Ben Sales outlines the organized Jewish community’s responses to the platform on our website.

Regular SDJJ contributor Brie Stimson took a night out to attend the Zukerman Trio performance at this year’s La Jolla Music Society SummerFest. In her online review, she writes “Cheng often closed her eyes as she stroked the keys while Zukerman and Forsyth moved about their instruments like hummingbirds in a garden.” The performance also featured some references to “pillow talk” between the Zukerman and wife Forsyth, which is not something you hear about often on a classical music stage. Find the full review online by searching “The Simple Pleasures of Zukerman Trio.”

"FOR THE LOVE OF SPOCK:" The San Diego Jewish Film Festival has another pre-festival premiere set for this month. “For the Love of Spock,” Adam Nemoy’s muchanticipated documentary about his father Leonard, has two showings first at the JCC on Sept. 21 at 7 p.m. and then at the Carlsbad Village Cinema on Sept. 22 also at 7 p.m. Go to sdjewishjournal. Hear about all our web com for a feature story on Adam exclusives first: Nemoy, his memories of his father, Like us on and the process he undertook to Facebook.com/ make this documentary, written sandiegojewishjournal by San Diego Jewish Journal film and follow us on critic Michael Fox. Twitter @sdjewishjournal 16 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2016

SD Symphony

Av â&#x20AC;¢ Elul 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 17

CLOCKWISE FROM TOP, L-R: Devin Chodorow, Earl Altshuler, Kevin Wunderly, Mary Epsten, Kent Hytken, Bob Haimsohn • Sanford Sugar, Charna Sugar, Patrick Dempsey, Brad Regier • Wayne Schwartz.

our TOWN

BY LINDA BENNETT AND BETSY BARANOV, PHOTOS BY BOB ROSS PHOTOGRAPHY

Patron Party

The 25th Annual Golf and Tennis Tournament for Guardians of San Diego was held July 25 at the beautiful Del Mar Country Club. The event raised nearly $200,000 which will benefit the Resident Assistance Fund at Seacrest Village Retirement Communities. Merrill and Robert Haimsohn were the event’s benefactor sponsors, in loving memory of Ingram Chodorow. The day-long event also included a silent auction, bbq buffet lunch, cocktail reception, dinner and awards program. Some enjoying were Sherri and Mitch Adler, Earl Altshuler, Cindy and Larry Bloch, Limor and Brett Chodorow, Sherry and Larry Delsen, Len Gregory, James Haimsohn, Julie and Howard Haimsohn, Kent Hytken, Susan Kabakoff, John Kassar, Ann and Steve Kavy, Jeffrey Pollak, Gary Pollak, Charlie Rosen, Carolyn and Herb Schaer, Cindy and Wayne Schwartz, Kay and Gary Weiss, Joann and Rick Weitzen and Alana and Jared Ziman.

Mazel tovs...

Alissa Douglas and Gary Shipper were married on April 9 in San Francisco. Happy parents are Elleene Douglas of San Diego and Alan Douglas of Palm Springs. Happy 57th wedding anniversary to Shirley and Harold Pidgeon!

Birthdays...

Happy 92nd birthday to Alfred Jacobs! Mazel tov to Judi and Mark Schecter on the birth of their granddaughter, Sydney Paige Lindenberg! Happy parents are Samantha and Geoffrey Lidenberg. Alexis Dean and Joe Mcleod happily announce the birth their son on August 2!

18 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2016

Av â&#x20AC;¢ Elul 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 19

the SCENE

BY EILEEN SONDAK, PHOTOS BY DEREK BERGHAUS

Jersualem Zoo in San Diego Supporters of the Tisch Family Zoological Gardens in Jerusalem gathered at the Treetops Room at the San Diego Zoo to salute the youth exchange students from Israel who were here to learn about animal care from experts at the San Diego Zoo. This exchange program started 16 years ago, and it’s always an enriching experience for the young participants and the friends they make during their stay in San Diego. This year, there were six teenagers from the Jerusalem Zoo – four of them Jewish and two Muslim. After the lavish buffet lunch, the participants received certificates commemorating the experience. Along with gaining knowledge about the zoo animals, the teens reap another important benefit from the program, as Ori Ben Gigi, one of the two chaperones who accompanied the visiting Israelis noted. “We get a chance to meet kids from San Diego and interact with them.”

CLOCKWISE FROM TOP MIDDLE: Gloria Weeten, Cyla Horn • Edie Passov, Kara Kobey • Mark Edelstein, Cindi Klaergaard, Gyle Marie Evans, Victor Bianchani • This year's delegation from the Jerusalem Zoo • Congresswoman Susan Davis, Robert Price • Jane Rustin, Charlotte Rand, Ana Galicot.

20 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2016

SEACREST VILLAGE RETIREMENT COMMUNITIES at En c i n i ta s a n d R a nc ho Ber n a r d o

Chag Sameach

Seacrest Village wishes you a happy and healthy New Year! seacrestvillage.org Av â&#x20AC;¢ Elul 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 21

MUSINGS FROM MAMA

by Sharon Rosen Leib

PARENTING srleib@me.com

Sending Kids Abroad

he metaphorical umbilical cord that will forever connect me to each of my children will be stretched farther than ever when 22-year-old Oldest Daughter blasts off for a 10-month stint as a Fulbright English Teaching Assistant in Sofia, Bulgaria, this month. On multiple occassions since we received the news I’ve had to restrain my very proud husband from ordering a bumper sticker saying, “Fulbright Parent.” These awards do pack a lot of prestige, but I’m mostly kvelling over her job description as a cultural ambassador for the United States. What the world needs now more than love sweet love (sorry Burt Bacharach) is an enhanced sense of global interconnectedness and shared humanity. However, I’m concerned about her being so far away in a country we know so little about. The threat of random terrorism rearing its Hydra-like head also worries me. But I won’t allow the terrorists to vanquish my daughter’s idealism, joie d’ vivre and hopes to create a better world. As the descendant of a long line of intrepid travelers and open-minded humanitarians, I refuse to let the terrorists clip my family’s travel wings. And yet, as a Berkeley graduate and San Diegan, the human cost of terrorism feels palpable, raw and painfully close. The San Diego Jewish Journal’s own Linda Bennett, whose heroic strength I so admire, lost her beloved 24-year-old daughter Marla (a Berkeley graduate) in a suicide bombing at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem in 2002. A decade later, Ambassador Chris Stephens, who I attended Berkeley with in the mid-1980s, was killed in an infamous terrorist raid on the U.S. Consulate in Benghazi, Libya. I’ve long mourned Marla and Chris as the best and brightest embodiments of Berkeley’s emphasis on the importance of global engagement and enlightened humanitarianism. When Marla and Chris died I wasn’t yet 22 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2016

sending my own children so far out into the great unknown. Now that I am, terrorism seems to be hitting ever closer to home. In July, international terrorism felled two current Berkeley students. Tarishi Jain, an 18-year-old sophomore, died in an attack on a restaurant in Dhaka, Bangladesh, while working on a university internship to develop e-commerce there. Later in the month, a box truck driven by a French Muslim mowed down and killed 20-yearold junior, Nicolas Leslie and 84 other Bastille Day revelers in Nice, France. Leslie, a much beloved only child, grew up in our neighboring community of Del Mar and attended Torrey Pines High School, where Youngest Daughter will soon be a senior. Studying international entrepreneurship in France with other Berkeley students, this gifted, popular young man had just been accepted into Berkeley’s elite Haas School of Business, well on his way to creating new opportunities for others. I can’t imagine Tarishi and Nicolas’s parents’ pain. These beautiful young adults were martyred to the cause of believing in a better world forged by cultural sensitivity and global outreach. It’s no coincidence these idealistic students hailed from California – our diverse, multicultural, sunny border state teems with progressive, hard-working dreamers. It’s also not strange that these young people attended my beloved alma mater, welcomed onto campus by the iconic Fiat Lux (let there be light) emblem beaming from an arch over Sproul Plaza – birthplace of the global Free Speech movement and site of countless protests against global and domestic in justice. Finally, as a practicing Reform California Jew, I believe our faith, in accordance with the precept of tikkun olam, animates us to repair the world. How can we expect our children to help fix the world if we’re too afraid to send them out into it? So, I say, “Let our children go.” A

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Av â&#x20AC;˘ Elul 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 23

LIVING ON THE FRONT PAGE by Andrea Simantov

ISRAELI LIFESTYLE andreasimantov@gmail.com

A Word About “Choice”

t wasn’t really a conscious decision to stop listening to the news; it crept up from somewhere beneath the kitchen floor as I washed dishes one day. Sleep had become difficult due to the peppering drone of helicopters hovering the dark skies, searching for the respective day’s terrorists and their abettors. Ambulances and border police vans raced past the kitchen window and, from the front row of my Jerusalem home, I’d heard enough. Facebook contacts keep me superficially appraised about what is happening in and around the Middle East, and the husband lobs a nightly tidbit or two about who said what about Israel in the UN that day. It’s enough. Dinner, a glass of wine and an episode of a television series provides enough excitement for me these days. I used to regularly wade into the filth, rage, distrust and polemics that seep from the newspapers and online media outlets. Indeed, I liked it. But as both a former preacher and singer in the choir, I’ve suddenly grown tired. My husband knows where I stand regarding the upcoming U.S. elections and what I think about Israel and her current leadership. We disagree quite a bit, but, perhaps due to age, acquired 24 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2016

wisdom, both, or neither, it plays absolutely no role in our relationship. My Facebook wall reveals nothing of these opinions. No pictures of flag-burning, out-of-control rhetoric, mocking or telling others how to vote. I care. Deeply. But not enough to injure my friendships with others. We just completed observing The Ninth of Av (Tisha B’Av) last month. Until becoming religiously observant, I’d never heard of it except, maybe, in an Isaac Bashevis Singer novel. Frightening events occurred on this exact date throughout history, including the blasphemous reports about Israel to Moses from the spies, the destruction of the First Temple by the Babylonians, the destruction of the Second Temple by Romans, the Bar Kochba revolt, declaring the start of the First Crusade, the expulsion of Jews from England, the Inquisitions in Spain and Portugal, Britain and Russia declaring a war on Germany that resulted in World War I, the deportation of Jews from the Warsaw Ghetto to Treblinka and the deadly bombing of the Jewish community center in Buenos Aires. The Ides of March have nothing on Tish B’Av.

It is interesting to note that except for on this day, not much happens on the Jewish calendar between Shavuot – receiving and accepting the Torah – and Rosh Hashanah – gratitude, atonement and reconnecting to the Source of all that is good. Why stick something so obscure between two showstopping holidays? If I might be so bold as to suggest that maybe this is a time for a tad more silence. Reflection and noiselessness by which we can better “hear” that which has become drowned out by 24/7 news bulletins. Perhaps in this “season of screaming,” it is time to shut out the media’s noisemakers and listen to the voices of our children, grandchildren, parents and friends. Revisit the dreams we dreamed together with partners – both present and gone – and hear the sighs of neighbors who may not have enough food or companionship. And maybe, just maybe, we can demand a bit more from ourselves by slamming the door on pulpit bullies or occupiers of national-stages who would frighten us, divide us, make us ugly and, when done, abandon us to alone pick up the pieces of our lives that deserved their protection all along. A

We saved you a seat. Congregation Beth El has redefined the synagogue experience by eliminating membership dues and offering a wide variety of traditional and non-traditional services for the High Holy Days.

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Av • Elul 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 25

OLDER, WISER, BETTER by Jon Schwartz

AGING jonaschwartz@hotmail.com

To My Wife:

few years ago, before we met, my grandmother simply told me that one’s choice in a life partner is the most important decision one will ever make. She knew that a good marriage adds to life satisfaction, achievement, health and longevity. On the contrary, a difficult marriage has the opposite effect. For all that you are, she would be so proud to know you, and the choice we are making, to marry this month. No doubt, our wedding day symbolizes the start of our story – a beginning with great excitement. On this day, we will be so lucky to have wonderful friends and family around us to celebrate. There will be a memorable party and then a romantic honeymoon. Once we are home, we will enjoy calling each other husband and wife. Knowing us, I’m sure the words will be matched with a big smile. I know this novelty will wear off as we become more familiar with the label. The outward smile will become more internalized, hopefully with an inner feeling of greater fortune, pride and love than the day we married. As we approach that day, I admire your efforts to make the world a better place, and I think we make a quite a pair. Where your passions are for children and your dreams are to teach toward a bright future, my dreams are to learn from and expose the wisdom of the elderly. In that pursuit, I have received hundreds of pieces 26 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2016

of advice on marriage from people who have lived that commitment for 30, 40, even 60 years. This is what I hope for us: Let laughter be the soundtrack of our marriage. I have been told, all too often, married people forget how to laugh with and at one another. Laughter and sleep truly are the best medicines. Please remind me how important both are to do well, everyday. Recently, I was with a couple who had been married for more than 50 years. The man asked if you and I are having a Jewish wedding. After I nodded my head, I could see he was giddy to tell me a joke that I’m sure his wife had heard maybe a million times. He said to keep in mind that putting my foot down and breaking the glass on our wedding day won’t be the last time I put my foot down during our marriage. I laughed, he laughed and even his wife laughed. Give, give, give, give and give. Give one another our time, our ears, our inspiration. Give one another our hearts, and don’t bother keeping score. I have been told that it is rare on any given day for this giving to be truly equal. However, over the course of a long marriage, the giving and compromise will even out. I know we both want to have children and be good parents, together. I have been told that one of the most effective parenting tips is for us to be good to one another, especially in front of our kids. We want our kids to see us in love. I

Give one another our time, our ears, our inspiration. Give one another our hearts, and don’t bother keeping score. imagine this will bring children greater security, stability and serve as a template for how they will treat their future spouses. Life is incredibly fragile. I doubt I will ever be frustrated with you. However, I’m almost certain you will be with me. When this happens, I have been told to not go to bed angry. Life is fragile and we never know what the next minute will bring. If you don’t want to talk to me, let’s make a rule. As we lay in bed, just put your foot on mine so I know you’re there, with me always. This will be an “I love you,” even if you aren’t in the mood to say it. Think toward the end. What do you want me to say about you when you’re gone? I’ve already thought about this in my case. When I’m gone and some younger person asks you to tell them about your husband, please don’t lie. It is my goal for our marriage that by the end, you will be left with an overwhelming feeling that we were best friends and we were so incredibly lucky to have found each other. I know, too, that this is what I’ll be saying about you. Love, Jonathan

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TORAH Rabbi Michael Leo Samuel, Temple Beth Shalom

SPIRITUALITY rabbie@betham.com

Return of the Prodigal Son – A Modern Variation

king once banished his son for being troublesome. The prince was still young, and therefore he was accompanied by a tutor. For many years they traveled and visited many places together. Yet, despite his encounter with people from all walks of life, the prince did not become any wiser. He continued to walk haughtily among the people, still believing that the world revolved all around him and nobody else. The prince behaved so arrogantly and obnoxiously, he was unbearable. After a while, the tutor could no longer bear his insufferable and narcissistic manner, and so he returned alone to report to the king. Without the tutor to manage the prince’s affairs, soon the prince spent all his money and people ceased believing that he was royalty. The prince started stealing for his food, but eventually he got caught and was sent to prison. After spending more than 20 years in prison, the prince was released. He realized the errors of his ways and made a decision to become a new man. Yet, after the prince returned to his land he encountered several difficulties. After languishing in a foreign prison, he could no longer speak his native tongue and he was looked at as an outsider. He begged and pleaded with the guards of the palace. He told them that he was the prince. As to be expected, they only thought him to be a fool. That night, he broke down at the outer gate of the palace and began to cry. A cry so deep and so true, that it echoed throughout the night, and penetrated the king’s palace. The king heard the cry, and without a doubt, he recognized the sound of his son. For this, the king opened the doors of the palace. It is never too late to redirect and improve our lives. 28 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2016

One of the myths of contemporary society is the belief that people never change. The High Holidays teach us that people do change. To realize these blessings, we must train ourselves to give one another the benefit of the doubt. Is it really that difficult? Not really, we do it all the time with ourselves. We love ourselves despite our foibles and weaknesses, and they are legion. At times, we do things that we are not proud of, yet, most of us will continue to forgive ourselves. If we can extend that gratuitous love to ourselves, why can’t we also extend it to other people? I suspect that withholding forgiveness is a way of maintaining control over others who have offended us. Too many of us are addicted to playing the role of the victim. Witholding forgiveness means the other person is somehow spiritually or psychologically beholden to us. But at what cost? Truthfully speaking, we cannot ask G-d for forgiveness if we are not willing to extend forgiveness to others. Letting go of hatred is not always easy, but it is necessary if we wish to free ourselves from the negativity that binds our souls to pettiness and resentment. We must use this time of year to spiritually cleanse our own selves. As we listen to the sound of the shofar, let us give serious reflection to how we too have often squandered the immense potential that G-d has granted us for this past year. Let us truly believe that despite our foibles and weaknesses, G-d’s love continues to give us a second chance at renewing our personal relationships with G-d, our families and our community. Rosh Hashanah stresses that our G-d is the G-d of second chances. If you listen carefully, the sound of the shofar sounds like the cry of the human soul that yearns to break away from its complete lack

of authenticity and spirituality. As the doorway leading to our heart and soul remains open during this pensive time of year, it behooves us to realize and actualize our capacity for goodness and just behavior. May you all be blessed with a wonderful and sweet New Year! A Rabbi Dr. Michael Leo Samuel is rabbi of Temple Beth Shalom in Chula Vista. He can be reached at msamuel594@gmail.com.

 This

month’s Torah portions Sept. 3: Re’eh (Deuteronomy 7:12-11:25) Sept. 10: Shoftim (Deuteronomy 16:18-21:9) Sept. 17: Ki Tetze (Deuteronomy 21:10-25:19) Sept. 24: Ki Tavo (Deuteronomy 26:1-30:20)

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Looking Forward to

5777

High Holidays Schedule of services

30 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2016

high holidays 2016 CHABAD Chabad Baja California 3830 Valley Center Drive Suite 705-103 San Diego, CA 92130 USA latinrabbi@gmail.com (011) 521664-596-4349 (619) 726-4645 *Call for times and reservation info. Chabad of Carmel Valley 11860 Carmel Creek Rd. San Diego, CA 92130 3830 Valley Centre Drive, Suite 705-103 San Diego, CA 92130 rabbi@chabadcv.com chabadcv.com (858) 333-4613 Rosh Hashanah Oct. 2: 6:30 p.m. Arvit Oct. 3: 9:30 a.m. Shacharit 11 a.m. Kid’s program Noon Shofar 5:30 p.m. Tashlich 6:15 p.m. Mincha

Oct. 4: 9:30 a.m. Shacharit 11 a.m. Kid’s program noon Shofar 6:15 p.m. Mincha Yom Kippur Oct. 11: 6 p.m. Kol Nidre Oct. 12: 9:30 a.m. Shacharit 11 a.m. Kid’s program noon Yizkor 3 p.m. Break 4 p.m. Mincha 5:30 p.m. Neilah *No cost to attend services. Reservations are appreciated to dini@chabadcv.com. Chabad of Coronado 956 Orange Ave. Coronado, CA 92118 elisd619@yahoo.com chabadcoronado.com (619) 365-4728 Rosh Hashanah Oct. 2: 6:30 p.m. Evening service and community dinner,

R.S.V.P. required Oct. 3: 10 a.m. Morning service 11:30 a.m. Shofar sounding with community Kiddush lunch, R.S.V.P. required 5:30 p.m. Tashlich on the beach between the Hotel Del Coronado and Coronado shores. Full kid’s day to follow. 6:30 p.m. Evening service 7 p.m. Community dinner, R.S.V.P. required Oct. 4: 10 a.m. Morning service 11:30 Shofar sounding with community Kiddush lunch, R.S.V.P. required 6:30 p.m. Evening services Yom Kippur Oct. 11: 6:30 p.m. Kol Nidre Oct. 12: 10 a.m. Morning service Noon Memorial service 5:45 p.m. Afternoon service 6:25 p.m. Evening and closing services 6:55 p.m. Community break-

fast. R.S.V.P required *Meals are $45 per person and require reservation. All services and meals at the Hotel Del Coronado. Chabad of Downtown 308 G St. San Diego, CA 92101 info@chabaddowntown.com chabaddowntown.com (619) 702-8518 *Call for times and reservation info. Chabad of East County 7624 Rowena St. San Diego, CA 92119 Rabbi@jewishec.com Jewishec.com (619) 387-8770 Rosh Hashanah Oct. 2: 6:30 p.m. Services followed by Rosh Hashanah dinner, R.S.V.P. required Oct. 3: 10 a.m. Morning services 11 a.m. Children’s program

Your Ride to High Holy Days Services is a Phone Call Away Free door-to-door transportation from your home to synagogue and back! Participating Synagogues Include: • Tifereth Israel Synagogue • • Temple Emanu El • • Congregation Beth El • • Congregation Beth Israel • • Congregation Dor Hadash •

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high holidays Yom Kippur Oct. 11: 6 p.m. Kol Nidre Oct. 12: 10 a.m. Morning services 5 p.m. Afternoon services followed by break-fast *No charge for services. All are welcome, no membership required. Services take place at San Diego Elks Lodge #168, 7430 Jackson Drive. Chabad at La Costa 1980 La Costa Ave. Carlsbad, CA 92009 chabadatlacosta.com (760) 943-8891 Rosh Hashanah Oct. 2: 6 p.m. Evening services 6:13 p.m. Light candles 7 p.m. Community dinner Oct. 3: 9 a.m. Morning services 10 a.m. Children’s services 11:30 a.m. Shofar 6 p.m. Tashlich 7 p.m. Evening services 8 p.m. Community dinner Oct. 4: 9 a.m. Morning services 10 a.m. Children’s service 11:30 a.m. Shofar Yom Kippur Oct. 11: 8 a.m. Morning services 3 p.m. Afternoon service

6:20 p.m. Fast begins 6:30 p.m. Kol Nidre Oct. 12: 9 a.m. Morning services 10 a.m. Children’s services noon Yizkor memorial service 4 p.m. Afternoon service 5:30 p.m. Neilah closing service 6:55 p.m. Fast ends followed by light refreshments *Chabad at La Costa does not require tickets but reservations are needed. Suggested donation is $100 per adult. Cost for community meals are $18 per adult/$10 per child. Chabad of La Jolla Shores 909 Prospect St. Suite 210 La Jolla, CA 92037 chabadoflajolla@gmail.com chabadoflajolla.com (858) 455-5433 *All morning services begin at 10 a.m., evening services begin at 6 p.m. R.S.V.P. requested. Chabad of Pacific Beach 4150 Mission Blvd., Suite 216 San Diego, CA 92109 rabbi@chabadpb.org chabadpb.org (619) 333-0344 *All services are free of charge, but R.S.V.P. is required.

Simple Honey Tart Ingredients: ¼ cup L.R. Rice Raw & Unfiltered Honey One sheet frozen puff pastry, thawed 3 medium apples, peeled, cored, halved and sliced thinly 3 tbsp sugar 3 tbsp unsalted butter, cubed, cold Instructions: Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper. Take out frozen puff pastry, unroll. Place onto lined baking sheet. Be sure to create a rectangle shape. Then, poke entire sheet of dough with fork. Lay out your apple slices, top with sugar and butter, bake for 20 minutes. Remove from oven, drizzle honey over entire tart. Be sure to spread the honey evenly. Bake another 5 minutes and enjoy! 32 32 SDJewishJournal.com SDJewishJournal.com ll September September 2015 2016

Chabad of Poway 16934 Chabad Way Poway, CA 92064 chabad@chabadpoway.com chabadpoway.com (858) 451-0455 Rosh Hashanah Oct. 2: 6 p.m. Evening services Oct. 3: 8:30 a.m. Morning services 11:30 a.m. Children’s service Noon Shofar 6:30 p.m. Evening services Oct. 4: 8:30 a.m. Morning services 11:30 a.m. Children’s program Noon Shofar 6:30 p.m. Evening services Yom Kippur Oct. 11: 6 p.m. Kol Nidre Oct. 12: 9 a.m. Morning services Noon Yizkor memorial service 4 p.m. Afternoon service 5 p.m. Neilah closing service *All are welcome. No charge to attend. Donations appreciated. Chabad Alef Center of San Marcos 375 South Rancho Santa Fe Rd San Marcos CA, 92078 info@alefcenter.com alefcenter.com (760) 481-7503

Rosh Hashanah Oct. 2: 6 p.m. Evening services followed by apples and honey, with holiday dinner. R.S.V.P. required. Oct. 3: 10 a.m. Morning services and blowing of the Shofar followed by Kiddush lunch and Tashlich Oct. 4: 10 a.m. Morning services Yom Kippur Oct. 11: 6 p.m. Kol Nidre Oct. 12: 10 a.m. Morning and Yizkor services 5:30 p.m. Neilah services followed by a break-the-fast *There will be children’s programming during all services. $180 suggested donation but no one will be turned away for lack of funds. Chabad Scripps Ranch 10785 Pomerado Rd. San Diego, CA 92131 scrippsranchchabad@gmail.com chabaddiego.com (858) 547-0076 Rosh Hashanah Oct. 2: 6:15 p.m. Erev service w/ dinner. R.S.V.P. required. Oct. 3: 10 a.m. Morning service 10:30 a.m. Children’s program 11:30 a.m. Shofar 5:30 p.m. Tashlich Oct. 4: 10 a.m. Morning service 10:30 a.m. Children’s program

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high holidays 11:30 a.m. Shofar Yom Kippur Oct. 11: 6 p.m. Kol Nidre Oct. 12: 10 a.m. Morning service Noon Yizkor 5:45 p.m. Neilah 6:55 p.m. Break-the-fast at shul *Services are free but donations greatly appreciated and reservations recommended. Chabad of University City 3813 Governor Dr. San Diego, CA 92122 yudell@chabaduc.org chabaduc.org (858) 455-1670 Rosh Hashanah Oct. 2: 6:15 p.m. Afternoon and evening services 7:45 p.m. New Year’s dinner, R.S.V.P. required Oct. 3: 9:30 a.m. Morning service and Shofar 6:15 p.m. Afternoon service and Tashlich 7:10 p.m. Evening service Oct. 4: 9:30 a.m. Morning service and Shofar 6:15 p.m. Afternoon service 7:05 p.m. Evening service Yom Kippur Oct. 11: 2:30 p.m. Early afternoon service 6 p.m. Late afternoon service 6:15 p.m. Kol Nidre and evening service Oct. 12: 10 a.m. Morning service 12:30 p.m. Yizkor 5 p.m. Afternoon service 6 p.m. Neilah *All services are free of charge and no reservation is required. There is a suggested donation of $180 that can be made online at chabadus.org/donate. Donations are not accepted during services. Children’s program schedule online. Chabad Jewish Center of Oceanside 1930 Sunset Drive Vista, CA 92081 info@jewishoceanside.com

jewishoceanside.com (760) 806-7765 Rosh Hashanah Oct. 2: 6:30 p.m. Opening service Oct. 3: 9:30 a.m. Morning services 11:30 a.m. Shofar sounding 5:30 p.m. Tashlich family service Oct. 4: 9:30 a.m. Morning services 11:30 a.m. Shofar sounding Yom Kippur Oct. 11: 6 p.m. Kol Nidre Oct. 12: 9:30 a.m. Morning services Noon Yizkor 5 p.m. Neilah closing service 6:56 p.m. Havdallah and breakfast *No tickets required, suggested donation is $100. Children’s services are offered. Chabad Jewish Center of Rancho Santa Fe 5690 Cancha De Golf Rancho Santa Fe, CA 92091 chabadrsf@gmail.com jewishrsf.com (858) 756-7571 Rosh Hashanah Oct. 2: 6:30 p.m. Evening service followed by dinner, by reservation Oct. 3: 10 a.m. Morning service 11 a.m. Children’s program Oct. 4: 10 a.m. Morning service 11 a.m. Children’s program Yom Kippur Oct. 11: 6 p.m. Kol Nidre Oct. 12: 10 a.m. Morning service 11 a.m. Children’s program Noon Yizkor memorial service 5 p.m. Mincha and Neilah *Suggested donation is $180 Chabad of the College Area 6115 Montezuma Road San Diego, CA 92115 jewishstudentlife@gmail.com jewishstudentlife.org (619) 663-7701 *Call for times and reservation info.

34 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2016

a n a h S a To v

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high holidays 2016 CONSERVATIVE Congregation Beth Am 5050 Del Mar Heights Rd. San Diego CA, 92130 welcome@betham.com betham.com (858) 481-8454 Rosh Hashanah Oct. 2: 7:30 p.m. Erev service Oct. 3: 8:45 a.m. Morning service 9:30 a.m. Family tot service for preschool-1st grade, open to the community 10 a.m. children’s programs for grades 1-7, child care for kids 18 months-kindergarten 7:30 p.m. Evening service Oct. 4: 8:45 a.m. Morning service 10 a.m. children’s programs for grades 1-7, child care available 6 p.m. Tashlich at Fletcher Cove, open to the community Yom Kippur Oct. 11: 5:45 p.m. children’s programs for grades 1-7, child care for kids 18 monthskindergarten 6 p.m. Kol Nidre first service 8:45 p.m. Kol Nidre second service Oct. 12: 8:45 a.m. morning service 9:30 a.m. Family tot service for preschool-1st grade, open to the community 10 a.m. Children’s programs for grades 1-7, child care for kids 18 months-kindergarten 4:30 p.m. Afternoon service 5 p.m. Evening and closing service *All services held in the Lizerbam Family Sanctuary. Membership includes High Holiday tickets. Non-members: $360 for ages 13 and older, $180 for ages 12 and younger. Military and university students are free with ID. Advance registration required for child care and children’s programs, by Sept. 26.

Congregation Beth El 8660 Gilman Drive La Jolla CA, 92037 shalom@congregationbethel.org cbe.org (858) 452-1734 Rosh Hashanah Oct. 2: 6:15 p.m. Rosh Hashanah service 7:30 p.m. Erev Rosh Hashanah 9 p.m. Oneg and L’Chaim service for Chai 20s and 30s Oct. 3: 9 a.m. Morning service and youth programming 11 a.m. Family service 5 p.m. Tashlich service and potluck at Kellog Park, La Jolla Shores Oct. 4: 9:30 a.m. Traditional morning service 10 a.m. Torah service for youth; young family service 1 p.m. Main service Yom Kippur Oct. 11: 6 p.m. Kol Nidre 6:45 p.m. Kol Nidre family service 8:30 p.m. Kol Nidre Chai service Oct. 12: 9 a.m. Morning and memorial service plus youth programming 10:15 a.m. Family service I 11:15 a.m. Family service II 4 p.m. Afternoon service 6:30 p.m. Evening service, Havdalah and shofar Congregation B’nai Shalom 201 E. Broadway Vista, CA 92084 bnaishalomsd@gmail.com bnaishalomsd.org (760) 806-4766 *Call for times and reservation info. Congregation B’nai Tikvah 2510 Gateway Road Carlsbad, CA 92009 info@bnaitikvahsd.com bnaitikvahsd.com (760) 650-2262 *Call for times and reservation info. Ner Tamid Synagogue 15318 Pomerado Road Poway, CA 92064 nertamid@sbcglobal.net

36 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2016

nertamidsd.org (858) 513-8330 Rosh Hashanah Oct. 2: 7 p.m. Erev service Oct. 3: 8:45 a.m. Morning service Oct. 4: 8:45 a.m. Morning service Yom Kippur Oct. 11: 6 p.m. Kol Nidre Oct. 12: 8:45 a.m. Morning service 7 p.m. Break-the-fast *Services are open to the community and no tickets are required. Costs: Young professionals/prospective members, $50; Family members younger than 25, $75; Nonmembers $350. Breakthe-fast costs $20 per adult and $10 per child older than six with advance registration required. First-day Yom Kippur child care costs $20 per child 5 and younger with advance registration required. Ohr Shalom Synagogue 2512 Third Ave. San Diego, CA 92103 office@ohrshalom.org ohrshalom.org (619) 231-1456 *Call for times and reservation info. Temple Beth Shalom 208 Madrona St. Chula Vista, CA 91910 arlenelagary@yahoo.com bethshalomtemple.com (619) 420-6040 Rosh Hashanah Oct. 2: 7:30 p.m. Erev service Oct. 3: 9:30 a.m. Morning service 11:30 a.m. Children’s service 4:30 p.m. Tashlich at the J. St. Chula Vista Bay 6 p.m. Afternoon and evening services Oct. 4: 9:30 a.m. Morning service 6:30 p.m.: Afternoon and evening services

Yom Kippur Oct. 11: 6:30 p.m. Kol Nidre Oct. 12: 10 a.m. Morning service 11 a.m. Children’s services 4:30 p.m. Healing service 5:45 p.m. Afternoon service 6:30 p.m. Closing service w/ break-fast *Nonmember contribution is $180 per adult. Tifereth Israel Synagogue 6660 Cowles Mountain Blvd. San Diego CA, 92119 program@tiferethisrael.com tiferethisrael.com (619) 697-6001 Rosh Hashanah Oct. 2: 6:15 p.m. Erev service Oct. 3: 9 a.m. Morning service 5 p.m. Tashlich at Lake Murray Oct. 4: 9 a.m. Morning service Yom Kippur Oct. 11: 6 p.m. Kol Nidre Oct. 12: 9 a.m. Morning service 4:15 p.m. Afternoon service 5:30 p.m. Evening service 7:30 p.m. Break-the-fast by reservation *Call the office for ticket prices. Childcare and youth services are available at no charge with reservation. Active military and their dependents, as well as students, are free with photo ID. ORTHODOX Congregation Adat Yeshurun 8625 La Jolla Scenic Dr. North La Jolla, CA 92037 info@adatyeshurun.org adatyeshurun.org (858) 535-1196 option 2 Rosh Hashanah Oct. 2: 6:15 p.m. Erev service Oct. 3: 8 a.m. Shacharit 11 a.m. Shofar 6:10 p.m. Mincha Oct. 4: 8 a.m. Shacharit 11 a.m. Shofar 6:10 p.m. Mincha Yom Kippur Oct. 11: 5:50 p.m. Kol Nidre Oct. 12: 8 a.m. Shacharit Noon Yizkor 5:30 p.m. Neilah *Nonmember adults cost $195, which includes both Holidays. Adult pricing is for anyone older

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high holidays than 18 who is not a full-time college student. College students and active duty military are free. Nonmember children ages 3-12 cost $54 per child with a family maximum of $120. Children ages 13-18 are free. R.S.V.P. by Sept. 23, prices raise after this date. Contact Annette Olson for tickets and information. Beth Jacob Congregation 4855 College Ave San Diego, CA 92115 sarit@bjsd.org bjsd.org (619) 287-9890 Rosh Hashanah Oct. 2: 6:13 p.m. Candle lighting 6:15 p.m. Mincha/Maariv 6:30 p.m. Learner service Oct. 3: 7:45 a.m. Shacharit 10 a.m. Learner service, teen service, children’s program, lunch 10:45 a.m .Shofar 6:05 p.m. Mincha/Maariv 7:11 p.m. Light candles Oct. 4: 7:45 a.m. Shacharis 10 a.m. Learner service, teen service, children’s program, lunch. 10:45 a.m. Shofar 6:05 p.m. Mincha/Maariv 7:10 p.m. Yom Tov ends Yom Kippur Oct. 11: 6 a.m. Shacharit 7 a.m. Shacharit 2 p.m. Mincha 5:55 p.m. Candle lighting 6:05 p.m. Kol Nidre 6:45 p.m. Learner service 7:30 p.m. Maariv Oct. 12: 8 a.m. Shacharis 10:30 a.m. Learner service and children’s program

11:30 a.m. Yizkor 5:15 p.m. Neilah 7:07 p.m. Yom Kippur ends with break-fast refreshments *Tickets are complimentary. Due to security concerns, all programs, including children’s lunches, require advance registration by Sept. 10. Congregation Kehillas Torah 14133 Via Alisal San Diego, CA 92128 bledermansdccd@gmail.com kehillastorah.org (858) 829-9648 Rosh Hashanah Oct. 2: 6 p.m. Evening service Oct. 3: 9 a.m. Morning service Oct. 4: 9 a.m. Morning service Yom Kippur Oct. 11: 6 p.m. Kol Nidre Oct. 12: 9 a.m. Morning service 5 p.m. Evening service *Cost is $150 per person, free for active duty military. Childcare is available. All services take place at Residence Inn, Rancho Carmel Dr., San Diego 92128. Orot HaCarmel 11860 Carmel Creek Road San Diego CA, 92130 rabbirock@orothacarmel.org orothacarmel.org (858) 633-0181 *Call for times and reservation info. Young Israel of San Diego 7291 Navajo Road San Diego CA, 92119 info@yisandiego.org yisandiego.org

38 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2016

(619) 589-1447 Rosh Hashanah Oct. 2: 6:10 p.m. Mincha/ Maariv Oct. 3: 8 a.m. Shacharit 11 a.m. Shofar 6:10 p.m. Mincha/Maariv Oct. 4: 8 a.m. Shacharit 11 a.m. Shofar 6:10 p.m. Mincha/Maariv Yom Kippur Oct. 11: 6:20 a.m. Shacharit 1:15 p.m. Mincha 6 p.m. Kol Nidre Oct. 12: 8 a.m. Shacharit 11:30 a.m. Yizkor 4:45 p.m. Mincha 5:45 p.m. Neilah 7 p.m. Break-the-fast *Cost for High Holiday services for members is included in membership. Nonmembers and guests can contact synagogue for cost and registration. REFORM Congregation Beth Israel 9001 Towne Centre Dr. San Diego, CA 92122 cbi@cbisd.org cbisd.org (858) 535-1111 Rosh Hashanah Oct. 2: 6 p.m. Early evening family service, with livestream 8:30 p.m. Late evening service with livestream Oct. 3: 8:30 a.m. Early morning family service 11:30 a.m. Late morning service with livestream 4 p.m. Tot Rosh Hashanah, no tickets needed 6 p.m. Tashlich service at La Jolla

Shores beach Oct. 4: Morning service with light Kiddush lunch Yom Kippur Oct. 11: 6 p.m. Early evening service with livestream 8:30 p.m. Late evening service with livestream Oct. 12: 8:30 a.m. Early morning family service 11:30 a.m. Late morning service with livestream 3:15 p.m. Afternoon service with livestream 5 p.m. Memorial and closing services with livestream 6:15 p.m. Break-the-fast *Tickets required for all services unless otherwise noted. Cost for members is $200 for a full ticket, or $50 per service. Nonmember cost for all services is $275 for adults, $85 for children up to age 17, military and students up to age 26 are free. Nonmember cost for Rosh Hashanah or Yom Kippur only are $150 for adults, $60 for children up to age 17, and free for military and students up to age 26. Per-service cost for nonmembers is $75 for adults, $20 for children up to age 17. Childcare is available for children aged 2-6 at no cost but reservation is required. Ticket and childcare reservations can be made through Edie Winchester at ewinchester@cbisd.org or (858) 535-1111. Congregation Etz Chaim 16911 Gunn Stage Road Ramona, CA 92065 etzchaimramona@gmail.com etzchaimramona.org

Orot HaCarmel

A Place to Let Your Light Shine

Please join Rabbi and Rebbetzin Rock and the community for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur Services to be held at The San Diego Marriott Del Mar Rosh Hashanah Services October 2nd - 4th

Yom Kippur Services October 11th - 12th

A learning and youth program will be available. We are excited to welcome Chazzan Ezra Meyer from Israel. Chazzan Ezra Meyer is a world renowned cantor who has been the visiting Chazzan at the Great Synagogue of Munich for the past 8 years. For links to listen to Chazzan Ezra Meyer and for High Holiday tickets and full schedule details, please visit www.orothacarmel.org

Av â&#x20AC;˘ Elul 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 39

high holidays (760) 789-2781 Rosh Hashanah Oct. 2: 8 p.m. Erev service Oct. 3: 10 a.m. Morning service Yom Kippur Oct. 11: 8:30 p.m. Kol Nidre Oct. 12: Services 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. *All services are held at 16911 Gunn Stage Rd., Ramona. Free of charge, no R.S.V.P. required. Temple Adat Shalom 15905 Pomerado Rd. Poway CA, 92064 info@adatshalom.com adatshalom.com (858) 451-1200 Rosh Hashanah Oct. 2: 6:30 p.m. Evening service followed by dinner, by reservation Oct. 3: 10 a.m. Morning service 11 a.m. Children’s program Oct. 4: 10 a.m. Morning service 11 a.m. Children’s program Yom Kippur Oct. 11: 6 p.m. Kol Nidre Oct. 12: 10 a.m. Morning service 11 a.m. Children’s program noon Yizkor memorial service 5 p.m. Mincha and Neilah *Suggested donation is $180 Temple Emanu-El 6299 Capri Drive San Diego CA, 92120 temple@teesd.org teesd.org (619) 286-2555 Rosh Hashanah Oct. 2: 7 p.m. Erev Service Oct. 3: 10 a.m. Morning service 1:30 p.m. Family service 5 p.m. Tashlich ceremony and picnic at Lake Murray Yom Kippur Oct. 11: 7 p.m. Kol Nidre Oct. 12: 10 a.m. Morning service 2 p.m. Family Service 3:15 p.m. Afternoon service 4:30 p.m. Memorial service 5:30 p.m. Closing service and break-the-fast *Tickets are required for all attendees aged older than

13 except for family services (which are free.) Cost is $300 for unaffiliated guests, $250 for unaffiliated family members of temple members, $72 for young adults aged 1325. University students and active duty military are free. URJ-affiliated families may obtain reciprocal tickets at no charge, but proof of synagogue membership is required. Break-fast is $25 per adult, $12 per child 3-12, children younger than 3 are free. Reservations must be made by Oct. 5. Temple Etz Rimon 2020 Chestnut Ave. Carlsbad CA, 92008 info@templeetzrimon.org www.templeetzrimon.org (760) 929-9503 Rosh Hashanah Oct. 2: 7 p.m. Erev service Oct. 3: 10 a.m. Morning service 2:30 p.m. Tashlich at Tamarack Beach, Carlsbad Yom Kippur Oct. 11: 7 p.m. Kol Nidre Oct. 12: 10 a.m. Morning service 4 p.m. Afternoon service 5:15 p.m. Memorial and closing service with break-thefast following in Pilgrim Hall *The cost for nonmembers is $210 per adult for all services, (regardless of how many services are attended) which will be credited toward membership dues. R.S.V.P. by Sept. 28. Services, unless otherwise noted, take place at Pilgrim Church at 2020 Chestnus Ave, Carlsbad. Listings continue on page 42.

40 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2016

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high holidays 2016 Temple Solel 3575 Manchester Ave. Cardiff-By-The-Sea CA, 92007 info@templesolel.net templesolel.net (760) 436-0654 Rosh Hashanah Oct. 3: 8:30 a.m. Early service plus children’s programs 11:45 a.m. Late service plus children’s programs 3 p.m. Young family and children’s service, open to the community 4:30 p.m. Tashlich and congregation picnic at Cardiff Seaside State Beach, open to the community Oct. 4: 10 a.m. Second day service, open to the community Yom Kippur Oct. 11: 6 p.m. Kol Nidre 8:45 p.m. Kol Nidre Oct. 12: 8:30 a.m. Early service plus children’s programs, tickets required 11:15 a.m. Late service plus children’s programs 3 p.m. Children’s service K-3rd grade, open to the public 5:15 p.m. Afternoon service, open to the public 5:45 p.m. Memorial service, open to the public 6:15 p.m. Concluding service with Havdalah and break-thefast, open to the public *First time, non-member tickets are complementary for all High Holidays services. College students and active duty military do not need tickets. Order forms are due by Wednesday, Sept. 14. For returning members, ticket prices are also available on the website. Tickets needed unless otherwise noted. SEPHARDIC Congregation Beth Eliyahu 5012 Central Ave., Suite C Bonita, CA 91902 rabbi@betheliyahu.com betheliyahu.org (619) 472-2144 Rosh Hashanah

Oct. 2: 6 p.m. Evening service Oct. 3: 9 a.m. Morning service 6 p.m. Evening service Oct. 4: 9 a.m. Morning service 6 p.m. Evening service at Congregation Beth Eliyahu *All services are held at the Chula Vista Golf Course unless otherwise noted. Yom Kippur Oct. 11: 6 p.m. Kol Nidre Oct. 12: 8 a.m. Services begin, and carry on until the fast ends, around 7 p.m. *All services are held at the Sheraton San Diego Bay and Marina unless otherwise noted. All services are free for members. For nonmembers, cost is $350 for both services, which can be applied to next year’s membership. Magen Abraham Sephardic Synagogue Inside Chabad Hebrew Academy in Scripps Ranch 10875 Pomerado Road San Diego, CA 92131 magenabraham.org (619) 277-0380 Rosh Hashanah Oct. 2: 7 p.m. Evening service Oct. 3: 9:30 a.m. Morning services Oct. 4: 9:30 a.m. Morning services *Services held at Chabad Hebrew Academy, second floor.

6 p.m. Mincha 6:13 p.m. Candle lighting 6:30 p.m. Arvit 8:15 p.m. Dinner, R.S.V.P. required Oct. 3: 8 a.m. Shacharit 11:15 a.m. Shofar 5:30 p.m. Mincha 6 p.m. Tashlich in Rose Canyon 7 p.m. Arvit Oct. 4: 8 p.m. Shacharit 11:15 a.m. Shofar 6 p.m. Mincha 7 p.m. Arvit 7:05 p.m. Havdalah Yom Kippur Oct. 11: 6:15 a.m. Selichot 7:15 a.m. Shacharit 8:40 a.m. Hatarat Nedarim 9 a.m. Kapparot 1:15 p.m. Early Mincha 6:01 p.m. Candle lighting 6 p.m. Kol Nidre Oct. 12: 8 a.m. Shacharit 12:30 p.m. Hashkavah Kelalit/ Yizkor 5 p.m. Neilah 6:56 p.m. Havdalah *All services are free of charge but require R.S.V.P. to be made through the website. Oct. 2 Rosh Hashanah dinner for members costs $42 per adult/$18 per child with a $120 maximum per family of five. Nonmembers costs $54 per adult/$26 per child with no family maximum.

Yom Kippur Oct. 11: 6:30 p.m. Kol Nidre Oct. 12: 7:30 a.m. Morning services *Services held at the Marriott La Jolla. All services for both holidays are free of charge.

JEWISH RENEWAL AND RECONSTRUCTIONIST Congregation Dor Hadash 11860 Carmel Creek Road San Diego, CA 92130 administrator1@dorhadash.org dorhadash.org (858) 268-3674

Kehillat Shaat HaShamayim 3232 Governor Drive, Suite K San Diego, CA 92122 rabbi@rabbiyoni.com kshsd.org (858) 752-1025

Rosh Hashanah Oct. 2: 7 p.m. Adult service, childcare available for ages 3-10, potluck dessert oneg following service. Oct. 3: 9:30 a.m. Adult service and separate family service for children ages 0-10. 4:30 p.m. Tashlich at Playa

Rosh Hashanah Oct. 2: 7 a.m. Selichot 8 a.m. Shacharit

42 SDJewishJournal.com | September 2016

Pacifica in Mission Bay Park Oct. 4: 9:30 a.m. Text study at San Diego Jewish Academy Yom Kippur Oct. 11: 7 p.m. Adult service, childcare available for ages 3-10 Oct. 12: 9:30 a.m. Adult service and separate family service for children ages 0-10. 4:30 p.m. Text study 5:30 p.m. Yizkor and Maryrology 6:15 p.m. Neilah 7:15 p.m. Children’s candlelight processional/Havdalah 7:30 p.m. Break-the-fast, reservation required. *Cost is $225 per adult. Children younger than 18 and active duty military no charge. Students ages 19-26 $36; seniors and YAD membrs $72. R.S.V.P. by Thursday, Sept. 29. All services at Al Bahr Shrine, 5440 Kearny Mesa Rd., San Diego 92111 unless otherwise noted. Shir Ha-Yam 4618 Rueda Drive San Diego, CA 92124 rhondmason@aol.com sandiegojewishrenewal.org (619) 251-4618 *Shir Ha-Yam will not host High Holiday services, however a break-the-fast will take place following Yom Kippur services. Contact maura.richman@ gmail.com for cost and details. The Elijah Minyan 3207 Cadencia St. La Costa, CA 92009 wdosick@aol.com sandiegojewishrenewal.org (760) 943-8370 Rosh Hashanah Oct. 2: 7:30 p.m. Greet the new year in joy and thanksgiving Oct. 3: 9 a.m. Joyous prayer, meditation, Torah learning and celebration 5 p.m. Tashlich at Moonlight Beach Oct. 4: 9 a.m. Joyous prayer, meditation, Torah learning

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TRADITIONAL ROSH HASHANAH DINNER

We wish You & Yours a Sweet, Prosperous & Healthy New Year.

You are invited to D.Z. Akin's for a traditional dinner served for Rosh Hashanah on Sunday, October 2 & Monday, October 3, from 4:00-9:00p.m. Appetizers: • Chopped Liver OR Gefilte Fish • Challah Soup: • Matzo Ball OR Kreplach

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Main Course: • Brisket of Beef OR Roasted Half Chicken • Noodle Kugel AND Sweet Carrot Tzimmes

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Serving Rosh Hashanah Dinners: Sun., Oct. 2 & Mon., Oct. 3 from 4:00-9:00pm YOM KIPPUR EVE HOURS, OCT 11 - Dining Room: 7am-3pm; Deli/Bakery: 7am-4:30pm; YOM KIPPUR: CLOSED WEDNESDAY OCT 12

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learn more at shabbatsandiego.org Av • Elul 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 43

high holidays Yom Kippur Oct. 11: 6:30 p.m. The most soulful service of the year Oct. 12: 9 a.m. Prayer, meditation, Torah learning, memorial, deep introspection 3:30 p.m. Mincha, guided meditation and centering prayer, plus healing service with prayers and meditations for healing of body, soul and spirit 5 p.m. The Earth ritual with prayers for healing of the planet 5:30 p.m. Evening closing service with personal prayers, blessing of the children, sounding of the Shofar and sweet treats for the New Year *Services take place at The Redeemer Church (formerly The North Coast Presbyterian Church) located at 1831 S. El Camino Real. A small fee is required.

HUMANISTIC Kahal Am: The Humanistic Jewish Community of San Diego president.kahalam@gmail.com kahalam.org (858) 549-3088 Rosh Hashanah Oct. 2: 7 p.m. Evening service in the Escala Clubhouse, 2840 Clubhouse Lane, San Diego CA 92108 Oct. 3: 10:30 a.m. Tashlich at Ventura Cove, right side of 1100 block West Mission Bay Dr. Yom Kippur Oct. 12: 5:30 p.m. Kol Nidre, Nizkor at Escala Clubhouse, 2840 Clubhouse Lane, San Diego CA 92108. Break-fast potluck to follow. *Live music and open discussion will accompany each service,

as will an oneg refreshment for the Rosh Hashanah program. Information for break-fast potluck is on the website. Intercultural and LGBT guests and families are most welcome. Registration and payment requested by Sept. 26. Ticket prices include both holidays: adults guests $45; young adults 16-28 $25; younger than 16 are free. Reservations and payment can be made on the Kahal Am website. No charge for Tashlich. POST DENOMINATIONAL AND UNAFFILIATED Chavurah Kol Haneshama Historic Temple Beth Israel 2455 Heritage Park Row San Diego, CA 92110 (619) 573-4227 *Call for times and reservation info.

Jewish Collaborative of San Diego 5927 Balfour Court, Suite 203 Carlsbad, CA 92008 admin@jcosd.com jcosd.com Rosh Hashanah Oct. 2: 6 p.m. Rosh Hashanah service with a multimedia sermon and concurrent children’s programming 7:30 p.m. New Year’s celebration w/ dessert, music Oct. 3: 11 a.m. Morning service w/ Torah reading and children’s programming 1:30 p.m. Lunch and Tashlich at Ponto Beach Oct. 4: 10 a.m. Class sessions led by JCo congregants. Details will be posted on the website. You can attend one, two, three or all of them. There will be a 15-minute stretch break between each one.

ELIJAH MINYAN THETHE ELIJAH MINYAN our 25th year

uvhkt ihbn

HIGH HOLIDAY SERVICES th conducted our 18 — Chaiby— year

Spiritual Judaism

HIGH HOLIDAY SERVICES RABBI WAYNE DOSICK and CANTOR KATHY ROBBINS

in the auditorium ofconducted The Redeemer by Presbyterian Church (formerly The North Coast Presbyterian Church) El Camino Real, just north of Manchester, Encinitas combining traditional davening, with powerful English prayer, joyous singing and chanting, and authentic kabbalistic meditation; Rabbi Dosick's inspiring teachings and sermons, and the magnificent voice and music of Cantor Robbins; with Kol Eli'ahu, The Elijah Minyan Choir, the auditorium of celebration. in a warm,in heimesh atmosphere of festive

RABBI WAYNE DOSICK

The North Coast Church not that "same Presbyterian old" rote, boring service, but aReal, new inspirited Judaism for new age El Camino just north ofaManchester, Encinitas Nominal ticket prices. For ticket information, call

(760) 943-8370 www.ElijahMinyan.com

combining traditional withforpowerful English prayer, Affiliated davening, with ALEPH: Alliance Jewish Renewal joyous singing and chanting, and authentic kabbalistic meditation; in a warm, heimesh atmosphere of festive celebration. 44 SDJewishJournal.com | September 2016

not that “same old” rote, boring service,

Av â&#x20AC;¢ Elul 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 45

high holidays Yom Kippur Oct. 11: 7 p.m. Kol Nidre w/ children’s programming Oct. 12: 11 a.m. Morning service with Torah reading and children’s programming 12:30 p.m. Breakout groups including Jewish Mandala art, meditation, text study, music 4 p.m. Healing service 5 p.m. Yizkor and closing service 6:30 p.m. Communal pot luck break-fast *JCo services are family friendly, so kids are always welcome to sit with their parents in the larger service. Babysitting and kids’ programming will be available for ages 3 and up during main services, but registration is required. Services are held at Christ Presbyterian Church at 7807 Centella Street, Carlsbad CA 92009. There is no charge to attend services but any donation will be accepted. TEMECULA CHABAD Chabad of Temecula 41785 Nicole Lane, Suite A6 Temecula, CA 92591 chabadtemecula@gmail.com jewishtemecula.com (951) 234-4196 Rosh Hashanah Oct. 2: 6:13 p.m. Candle lighting Oct. 3: 9:30 a.m. Morning service 11 a.m. Main service and youth program 11:30 a.m. Shofar blowing 1 p.m. Community lunch 5:30 p.m. Tashlich at the duck pond at Rancho California and Ynez Oct. 4: 9:30 a.m. Morning service 11 a.m. Main service and youth program 11:30 a.m. Shofar blowing Yom Kippur Oct. 11: 6:01 p.m. Light candles 6:15 p.m. Kol Nidre Oct. 12: 10 a.m. Morning service Noon Beginners, youth, teen

1 p.m. Memorial service 4:30 p.m. Afternoon service 5:45 p.m. Closing service followed by break-fast *No tickets are required and no membership is necessary. TEMECULA CONSERVATIVE Temple Beth Sholom of Temecula 26790 Ynez Court, Suite B Temecula, CA 92591 info@tbstemecula.org tbstemecula.org (951) 679-0419 Rosh Hashanah Oct. 2: 7 p.m. Erev service Oct. 3: 9:30 a.m. Morning service Oct. 4: 9:30 a.m. Morning service Yom Kippur Oct. 11: 6 p.m. Kol Nidre Oct. 12: 9 a.m. Morning service Oct. 12: 4 p.m. Yizkor, afternoon services and break-the-fast *Tickets for nonmembers are $100 per person. Active duty military and children younger than 18 are free. We welcome interfaith families. If there are enough families with small children, we will add a children’s service for them. Call for details.

bnaichaim.com (951) 677-7350 Rosh Hashanah Oct. 2: 6:30 p.m. Erev service Oct. 3: 9:30 a.m. Morning services Oct. 4: 9:30 a.m. Morning services Yom Kippur Oct. 11: 6:30 p.m. Kol Nidre Oct. 12: 9:30 a.m. Morning services 5 p.m. Evening services PALM SPRINGS CHABAD Chabad of Palm Desert 73550 Santa Rosa Way Palm Desert, CA 92260 info@chabadpd.com chabadpd.com (760) 651-2424 *Call for times and reservation info Chabad of Palm Springs and the Desert Communities 425 Avenida Ortega Palm Springs, CA 92263 info@chabadps.com chabadps.com (760) 325-0774 *Call for times and reservation info. Chabad of Rancho Mirage — The Torah Oasis 72295 Via Marta Rancho Mirage, CA 92270 chabadrm.com (760) 272-1924 *Call for times and reservation info.

TEMECULA REFORM Congregation Havurim 29500 Via Princesa Murrieta, CA 92563 Mailing address: P.O. Box 891663 Temecula CA, 92592 congregationhavurim@gmail.com havurim.org (951) 387-5018 *Call for times and reservation info.

PALM SPRINGS CONSERVATIVE Temple Isaiah 332 W. Alejo Road Palm Springs, CA 92262 mail@templeisaiahps.com templeisaiahps.com (760) 325-2281 *Call for times and reservation info.

TEMECULA UNAFFILIATED Congregation B’nai Chaim Cantor Joseph Lutman 29500 Via Princesa Murrieta CA, 92563 bnaichaim1@gmail.com

Congregation Shalom Bayit 1320 Williams St. Banning, CA 92220 carollois21@gmail.com congregationshalombayit.com (951) 769-3678

46 SDJewishJournal.com | September 2016

PALM SPRINGS REFORM

Rosh Hashanah Oct. 2: 7 p.m. Erev service Oct. 3: 10 a.m. Morning service Yom Kippur Oct. 11: 7 p.m. Erev service Oct. 12: 10 a.m. Morning service *No-host luncheon at local Sizzler following Rosh Hashanah service on Oct. 3. Hosted break-fast meal after memorial service on Oct. 12 requires paid reservation. Cost for each service is $25 for nonmembers. Call Cathy at (951) 392-5380 for details. Temple Sinai of Palm Desert 73251 Hovley Lane W. Palm Desert, CA 92260 jfeldstein@templesinaipd.org templesinaipd.org (760) 568-9699 Rosh Hashanah Oct. 2: 7:30 p.m. T’fillah Oct. 3: 10 a.m. Adult T’fillah (includes students grades 5 and up). Youth T’fillah and program for students grades k-4 takes place in the Goodman Chapel. Parents welcome. Ages 2-pre K program and supervised childcare is available. 4 p.m. Taschlich at Eisenhower Lake Yom Kippur Oct. 11: 7:30 p.m. T’fillah Oct. 12: 10 a.m. Adult T’fillah (includes students grades 5 and up). Youth T’fillah and program for students grades k-4. Parents welcome. Ages 2-pre K program and supervised childcare is available. 1:30 p.m. Study session 3:30 p.m. Afternoon T’fillah 5 p.m. Memorial service 5:30 p.m. Evening service and Havdalah with break-thefast immediately following. Reservations required. *Handicapped seating and hearing assistance devices will be available for all T’fillot.

May You and Your Loved Ones Be Inscribed for a Year Filled with Blessings.

Celebrate with us by making your reservations for High Holy Day Services by Sept. 28, 2016

TEMPLE ETZ RIMON A Reform Synagogue in the Heart of Coastal North County

2020 Chestnut Avenue • Carlsbad, CA • 92008 760.929.9503 • templeetzrimon.org

Celebrate Rosh Hashanah

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Prices Effective August 31 thru October 4, 2016 No Rain Checks. AVAILABILITY: Each of these advertised items is readily available for sale at or below the advertised price at most Vons/Pavilions stores while supplies last. Some items may not be available at all stores. We reserve the right to limit quantities. No Sales to Dealers. Savings may vary. Check price tag for details. Prices for limited hour or limited day sales are effective in-store only and are not available for online shopping.

Av • Elul 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 47

high holidays

omething was rotten in the borough of Brooklyn.An upper middle class Jewish man murdered his wife and married her sister. This is not just the stuff of Shakespeare. Due to the uncanny, unnerving narrative parallels, Brenda Adelman calls her family story “My Brooklyn Hamlet.” It reads like fiction, and it certainly was a tragedy. But somehow, Adelman managed to turn her family’s true story into art, which has helped others to heal and forgive, too. “My father [Jerry],” says Brenda, the affable actor/writer/lifecoach, “was a Jewish wannabe Italian. He hung out with a lot of Brooklyn Mafia guys. He admired them. He was a tough guy who smoked a cigar and wore a black leather jacket. He got to know the Mob through the huge auto parts business that was started by my grandfather in 1938. The Mob collected from all the local stores.” Brenda’s mother, Barbara, was something of a “bohemian artist, very spiritual, kind of like a hippie.” According to her daughter, she didn’t belong in Brooklyn, where the people 48 SDJewishJournal.com | September 2016

were so tough. She had traveled the world, she was educated, having earned both bachelor’s and master’s degrees. But after she married the Mobster-wannabe, he didn’t want her to work. “I was super-close with my father,” Brenda reports. “I was Daddy’s little girl. He taught me to drive his Cadillac at age 6, and to shoot a gun at age 10.” That would be the same gun Jerry would use on Brenda 20 years later. “The house was very tumultuous,” Brenda confesses. “I have a half-brother. He and my Dad did not get along. My father was brutal to my mother, too. I was the peacemaker. I tried to be everything to them they couldn’t be to each other.” On three occasions during the marriage, Jerry took off with another woman. The last time was about a year before Barbara was shot and killed. “Guns were always around the house,” Brenda recalls. “My father had guns as a kid. I remember seeing a picture of him at around 13 or 14, standing with his little baby brother, with a

“When she took him back, I thought she must’ve been lying about the gun episode. I was in denial. I thought, ‘He couldn’t have done all that; he’s my daddy and I love him.’” rifle in his arms. That was shocking to me. “He always had a .38 caliber when I was little. He and my mother and I would go to shooting galleries on Long Island. It was a fun sport we participated in; it seemed normal to me. I thought of guns as toys. “There was Mafia around the neighborhood and there were killings. But for me, it was a complete disconnect. I literally didn’t think of a gun as a weapon.” At one point, Brenda’s mother confessed to her, Jerry held a gun to her head and threatened her. Barbara left him, got a restraining order and stayed away for a while. “When she took him back, I thought she must’ve been lying about the gun episode. I

PHOTOS COURTESY BRENDA ADELMAN

In the photo on the left, Brenda Adelman’s father Jerry poses with the gun he later used to kill her mother Barbara. Brenda now uses this photo as the poster for her one-woman theater show “My Brooklyn Hamlet.”

was in denial. I thought, ‘He couldn’t have done all that; he’s my daddy and I love him.’ I later realized that my mother didn’t set a very good role model for me, either, about how to be treated by someone who says ‘I love you.’ If you’re thinking like a normal person, you leave and don’t come back. But that’s not how abused people operate.” After her mother was murdered, Brenda did a good deal of research on domestic violence. “I realized that my mother had the classic profile of low self-esteem and fear. I was, in a way, part of the problem, because I believed my dad that whole time. He appeared fine to me; I didn’t know why she was so upset. I couldn’t imagine why she’d take him back if he’d done what she said.” The two had met at the auto parts shop. Barbara lived nearby, and she’d stop in occassionally. Soon she developed a crush on another man who worked there.

“She was a very beautiful woman,” says Brenda, “and my father was attracted to her. When her car broke down, she called to speak to that other guy, but my father purposely didn’t give him the phone. He went to pick her up himself.” They fell in love. But Jerry wouldn’t marry her because she already had a child – his mother wouldn’t accept him marrying a single mother. Around this time, Barbara was violently raped by her landlord. When the authorities came, Barbara gave her sister’s number, and her sister called Jerry to help. The same sister would end up marrying Jerry, solidifying Brenda’s real-life Hamlet story. TRADEGY HITS The fateful year was 1995. “I had moved to California with my boyfriend,” says Brenda. “I was 30, but still super co-dependent. I saw my parents six times that first year. I even went to Europe Av • Elul 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 49

with them. I was in California when it happened. My brother, who’s five years older than I, dealt with the details – and with the plea bargain, down from first to second degree murder, from a 17-year term to 1½ to 5 years. I wasn’t involved at all. Nobody knew what side I was on. “I flew back and forth from L.A. a few times, but the D.A. kept me out of it. My brother and I stopped talking about three months after my mother died. We reconciled six years later, when I made a decision to take my dad to court for wrongful death. I finally had to stand up to him.” Jerry Adelman disappeared immediately after the murder. But within a month, he was living with her mother’s sister. The family home had been declared a crime scene, and when Brenda came to clean it up, she wasn’t allowed to live there. Not knowing anyone else in the city, Brenda had to stay at her aunt’s house, where her father remained until a year after the crime, when he finally began his meager 2½ year sentence. “It was horrible,” she recalls of living with her father and aunt. “My uncle had died years before, and I had to watch what was going on between my father and my aunt. It was as if my mother had never existed. They were laughing and having a good time. I kept asking him ‘What happened?’ and he’d 50 SDJewishJournal.com | September 2016

say ‘The past is the past.’ My aunt would say bad things about my mother. I had to return to California, to get nourished. “But I was so angry with him, I wrote to him while he was in prison. I kept asking questions. We had been so close. Finally, I wrote and said, ‘Don’t write me back if you won’t tell me what happened.’ We didn’t communicate for a year.” Her father married her aunt while he was in prison. He died in 2004. “Shortly after we stopped communicating,

important for me, showing that I was no longer a pinball in a machine. “The jury awarded a judgment. His lawyer countered. This took months. Finally, I got a 10-page letter from the judge, stating why my father was depraved, and was guilty. I finally got closure.” TURNING HORROR INTO ART After all this happened, Brenda went back to school. With a media communications degree from Hunter College under her belt, she earned a master’s degree in spiritual

“It was horrible,” she recalls of living with her father and aunt. “My uncle had died years before, and I had to watch what was going on between my father and my aunt. It was as if my mother had never existed.” I realized that my father wanted to sue me for the money I’d gotten from my mother. That was my wake-up call. “My brother and I won $2 million in the wrongful death suit. But we never collected. My father and aunt skipped town and hid the money offshore. It cost thousands of dollars, but standing up to him was very

psychology from the University of Santa Monica. That’s when her healing began. “In my degree program, I learned what a healthy boundary is. I learned about domestic violence, that there’s really no particular demographic; it occurs at every socioeconomic level. When people are unhealed and unconscious of their acts,

and then you throw in mental instability or illness, you have a recipe for disaster. I learned that my father had sociopathic tendencies; he had no empathy or compassion, and no ability to take responsibility for his actions. “I learned how to move into ‘Ok, this happened. Now, how do I go on from here?’ That’s what I teach. I dealt with my anger through therapy and workshops. I became passionate about teaching forgiveness, especially when you can’t change anything that’s happened, or get an apology. I certainly never got that. “I worked on forgiveness of my father. And my mother, for allowing all that she did. Then on my brother, who I thought deserted me. But then I thought, maybe he was angry with me. I went into a period of deep remorse, until I was able to reconcile with him.” Having had training and experience in theater and improv, Brenda channeled her story and her feelings into a funny, sad, alarming and cathartic one-woman show, “My Brooklyn Hamlet: A Meshugenah True Story,” which she has performed at the San Diego Fringe Festival and other locations in the U.S. and abroad. “Writing my show was an incredibly healing experience,” she says. In 2007, her brother, a playwright and producer living in Austria, invited her to a

large Jewish Theatre Festival and Conference he’d organized in Vienna. Brenda’s show was one of the event’s main presentations. “It was life and art coming together,” she says. “We did a Q&A together after the show. It was one of those transcendent moments, so life-changing, so healing. We had never talked about all this before. The show became kind of a love letter, even to my brother. “Now, the show is a gift I give to others. Before, it was a compulsion for me. I had to do it. More than 11,000 people have seen it over the past 10 years. Now, I’m not just expressing myself; I’m touching and helping others. Theater is such a great vehicle, so powerful and not preachy. Domestic violence in the upper classes is a secret. After seeing my show, or my videos, people come forward and feel that they can share their stories, too. “Because I’m a life-coach, I can really help people get to the core of their stories. I have different levels of coaching, including one-to-one packages and a workshop on forgiveness. ” Brenda has an online video training program that teaches performers to heal from their pain. She has students in the program from all over the world. She helms a master class for entrepreneurs to share

their stories and heal. “Forgiveness is like love,” she has learned. “You can only give it to others if you can give it to yourself. My definition of forgiveness is letting go of resentment. It’s an inside job. It’s important to do the inner work.” When she was young, Brenda’s family had always gone to High Holiday services. Her mother’s death occurred between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. “We had to wait to bury her, because of the Holidays. But I was glad my mother’s soul could be free going into the New Year.” So this High Holiday season, as all the others since 1995, is a special time of remembrance and forgiveness for Brenda. “I realize that people are so alone in their suffering, their pain and their shame,” she says. “After so many of my performances, people come up and bring their family members, and it starts a family dialogue. Opening and sharing leads to healing. Forgiveness is not condoning. It’s letting go, so you can move on.” A Information about Brenda Adelman’s show and online video courses (“How to Create, Promote and Profit from Your Own One-Person Show” and “How to Step into Your Own Spotlight”) is available at forgivenessandfreedom.com and facebook.com/mybrooklynhamlet.

Av • Elul 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 51

||| SENIORS |||

n such a confusing and divisive election, one thing everyone does seem to agree on is they’ve never seen anything like this. The phrase has become cliché in a few short months. When a random group of seniors were asked the question, “Is there anything comparable?” for this story, the emphatic answer, “No,” didn’t come as a surprise. What typically accompanies people’s feelings about this election too is a sense of dumbfoundedness. How did we get here? And what is happening? There have never been two such questionable candidates, at a time when, to some, the future of America and its freedoms are at stake. For this seniors issue, I got in touch with older adults from varying backgrounds to explore if, from their many years of voting, any wisdom can be attached to our choices this November. “As everyone says, this is a highly unusual election, and we may never see one like this 52 SDJewishJournal.com | September 2016

again,” notes Bernice Kleiman, 73. “It’s a highly determining election,” she adds. Kleiman cites the candidate’s differences: one is a true outsider, a first timer with no experience whatsoever in politics, “who arose from the extreme unhappiness over what’s been going on for all these years, the corruption, lying and not listening to the American people. “The alternative is bleak,” Kleiman continues, “a wealthy, entitled progressive with a national security scandal in her hip pocket.” She goes on to quote writer Jim Ruth who, in an opinion piece published by the Washington Post in late June titled “I Hate Donald Trump But He Might Get My Vote,” wrote the thought of four or eight more years of a progressive agenda “polluting the American Dream is even more dangerous to the survival of this country than Trump is.”

Kleiman, who says she switched parties in the ’90s, adds “[Trump] is rude, crude, with an ego that won’t quit. He was liberal, then conservative, then liberal, he’s not really a conservative, he’s all over the place.” But still, she offers justification for supporting him: “We know she [Clinton] will continue the socialist framework in this country,” adding she would vote for Trump based on that alone. “I’d rather choose an unknown the way this country is going, than knowing 100 percent which way it will go with Hillary.” Kleiman emphasizes, “anything is better than knowing it will become socialist. That is a fact, it’s not an opinion.” She and other older Americans who share her views say they are afraid future generations will lose more of their rights and freedoms, “the very foundations this country was built upon.

“With Hillary there will be a point of no return.” For Kleiman, America’s freedoms are at stake. “It’s not even the people who are running, it’s what they’re representative of. This country is an idea, it was founded on principles unlike any other in the world. And the constitution is being frittered away.” Numerous people in this age fear that Socialism is creeping from the edges to the mainstream, through support from people with little understanding of what it actually is. When looking back to the Bernie Sanders campaign and examining its tremendous number of supporters, Kleiman says “they have been brainwashed in many of the schools and universities, so much has changed here. They’ve gotten things for free and continue to want more. And when they start talking about the rich, that’s how it starts. When you’re taking wealth that people built,” she says, “no, it’s not the government that built that, it’s the people. Where do they think the money is going to come from? They don’t understand. “Some 5 percent of the wealthiest [people] are paying 80 percent of taxes, and when you start taking away what they’ve built and

redistributing it to those who don’t work for it, [that’s Socialism].” She quotes Margaret Thatcher, “Socialism works until you run out of other people’s money.” Other older Americans share her views and underscore the fear that future generations will lose hard-won freedoms. For this group, there is a sense of urgency with this election. Among those who feel this most acutely is Bill Medvied. “They don’t think of their children’s future, they’re not doers.” Medvied is 83, an immigrant from Ukraine who left when that country was still part of the Russian Federation. He offers a quick snapshot of his immigrant story: He was lucky to get out of Lutzk, where the Russian military recruited his father, whom he never saw again. Medvied managed to leave, with his mother. They lived in Siberia for four years, and “[were] lucky to stay alive,” he says. His mother eventually remarried and after the war, they made it to the other side of the Iron Curtain and came to the U.S. in 1946. Soon after arriving, his mother died during childbirth at 34 years old. Medvied finished high school, lived with his stepfather, and then joined the Army. After

attending college for a year, he went into business for himself. “I’ve lived the true American dream building myself up. Nobody helped me. I realized that I had to do it on my own.” Turning to politics, he says, “I can see why people don’t like Trump. He’s insulted so many people, he’s got to tone it down. But the Democrats are killing the country. The haves and the have-nots really come down to the doers and those who don’t do. They don’t want to perform, they want a hand-out.” Medvied says despite his crassness, for the small businessperson and the average hardworking American, Trump has appeal. “All politicians are corrupt. The question is who is less corrupt?” As for Clinton, he believes “she is very crooked. And things have gotten worse. As far as I’m concerned, Hillary should’ve known better, she had a private server because she had a lot to hide.” Medvied’s disquietude reflects what other seniors have expressed. “This country is in big trouble, in many ways. We’re in the worst debt. They borrowed with expensive dollars and want to pay it back with cheap dollars. The dollar Av • Elul 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 53

is so devalued.” Despite concerns, Medvied gives Trump the benefit of the doubt. “If Trump were President, he would surround himself with smart people who know a lot more than he does. And he’ll hopefully listen to them. He needs advice,” particularly on the current global state, of grave concern to many Americans. “The reason we have problems now, is because Obama allowed ISIS to happen. We’re dealing with people that aren’t normal.” Medvied pauses. “I hope for the best. I hope Trump will make it, will mature and make this country work.” July Galper doesn’t share that faith in Trump. Born in Lima, Peru, Galper came to the United States in 1965, married and had two children. This grandmother-offour says she has seen “nothing like this, it’s shocking. People would support a nominee like Donald Trump? He could be such an embarrassment to us.” Galper, who worked as a court interpreter, considers herself a centrist, but has never voted for a Republican, though she felt Reagan did a good job. “Trump couldn’t sit with presidents of other countries. He talks without thinking. Anyone who does that, especially in that position, could put the U.S. in danger,” she says. “I feel the U.S. would be mocked throughout the world. He’s the kind of a person who would talk to a head of state and if they wouldn’t do what he wanted, he wouldn’t be able to listen to them.” 54 SDJewishJournal.com | September 2016

As for Clinton, “If I had to vote, I’d vote for her. At least she has a husband who has experience with foreign heads of state and foreign affairs.” In response to Clinton’s critics, she believes more proof is necessary to support the “crooked” claim. In regards to the email servers, Galper does not believe Clinton’s acts were criminal. And as President, Galper doesn’t believe Hillary would put the country in jeopardy. “There’s a lot of corruption, politics are dirty,” she concludes. “The choices are so poor, I can’t imagine that hardly anyone can vote this time.” Still, she isn’t really surprised at the lack of options. “I don’t blame them. It’s the worst job in the world, who would want it?” Stanley Hoffman, Galper’s Americanborn husband, says, “In all my years I’ve never seen anything like this, where I don’t know who to vote for. I’m between not voting and waiting to see if I’ll know more in November. “I hate what’s happening,” he continues. “If you vote for Hillary you know what to expect, and if you vote for Trump you don’t know what to expect.” Hoffman is hoping that the debates will provide him more clarity. But, as far as temperament goes, he seems to have already made up his mind about Trump. “He’s off the wall,” Hoffman says flatly. A registered Democrat from New York who’s always been flexible in his votes, Hoffman says party affiliation is harder to

identify these days. “Blacks and Jews always voted Democrat,” in New York when he was growing up, he notes, “but today it’s not the same. Now I think more people vote for the person.” He notes his kids felt Sanders would do more for the younger generation. “Younger people were sending $10 to $20, average college kids who would never usually donate.” He found that interesting as well, adding to the unusual nature of this election. Hoffman says he and his counterparts have been asking “what will seniors get out of this election?” It’s an important point that often gets lost in reports of Trump’s sensational rhetoric and chronicles of Hillary’s checkered history. “A lot of people I’ve talked to say they don’t think they’ll touch Social Security,” he says, but who’s even talking about the issues that are important to seniors in this election? “It’s so confusing, what’s happening. In all past elections I knew who I was going to vote for.” Like many, Hoffman kicks it back to the “devil you know” analogy. “We do know what Hillary is. Clearly with Trump, for better or worse, he’s an unknown.” Though this election, among other things, feels interminable, the country will know soon enough whether or not that’s a risk seniors are willing to take. A

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Days 5777

SDJewishJournal_2016_socialhalf.indd 1

8/10/16 5:45 PM

HIGH HOLY DAYS

5777  2016 EREV YOM KIPPUR

EREV ROSH HASHANAH

Tuesday, October 11 • 7:00 pm Kol Nidre Service

Sunday, October 2 • 7:00 pm Erev Rosh Hashanah Service

ROSH HASHANAH

Monday, October 3 • Morning Service - 10:00 am • Family Service - 1:30 pm* • Tashlich at Lake Murray 5:00 pm

YOM KIPPUR

• • • • • •

Wednesday, October 12 Morning Service - 10:00 am Yom Kippur Limmud - 12:45 pm Family Service - 2:00 pm* Afternoon Service - 3:15 pm Yizkor Memorial Service - 4:30 pm Neilah - 5:30 pm

*Complimentary Family Service Tickets Available (with reservations - please call the Temple office or email office@teesd.org)

6299 Capri Drive San Diego, CA 92120 (619) 286-2555 temple@teesd.org • www.teesd.org • facebook.com/teesd

Devorah Marcus, Rabbi • Martin S. Lawson, Rabbi Emeritus Shiri Haines, Executive Director • Madeline Gershwin, President Affiliated with the Union for Reform Judaism

Av • Elul 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 55

||| SENIORS |||

BY CALINE CHITAYAT

abbi Richard Address is the founder and director of a website called Jewish Sacred Aging, which seeks to provide “resources and texts that feature discussions on the implications of the revolution in longevity for Baby Boomers and their families.” That dense explanation essentially describes Rabbi Address’ goal to encourage open conversations about life, aging and death throughout the Jewish community. The New Jersey rabbi, who has long been affiliated with the Reform movement, has written several books and offers a number of workshops and presentations regarding community involvement, Jewish approaches to health and how to make what he calls sacred decisions. Recently, Rabbi Address revived his website’s weekly podcast to provide a space for live interviews on subjects, from mindfulness meditation to inclusion and diversity throughout the Jewish community. In July, Rabbi Address interviewed Rabbi Simcha Raphael on a topic that many are uncomfortable speaking about. Rabbi Raphael, psychotherapist and director of the Da’at Institute, discusses death, dying and bereavement and explores the Jewish perspective on the afterlife. The Da’at Institute is dedicated to death awareness, advocacy and training. Rabbi Raphael admits that death is unsettling, but contends it is something that we should be open about. We know we cannot escape death, and although the conversation never seems to get easier, it’s important that we learn to discuss aspects of it. In the podcast, Rabbi Raphael offers ways for audiences to understand the emotional and spiritual effect of death. “In my early 20s, my closest friend was killed in a car accident, and it was the type of trauma that is life-changing for people,” Rabbi Raphael says in the podcast episode. “Here we were burying a 21-year-old guy in the middle of a cold Montreal winter in 56 SDJewishJournal.com | September 2016

Mount Pleasant Park. There was nothing pleasant about [that day], but I felt a sense of his presence.” Rabbi Raphael recalls that on the day his friend died, the two of them had cooked a meal together. “There were leftovers in my fridge, and I came back in the middle of the shiva and went, ‘Is he there? Is his energy in the food?’” He began to wonder about what Judaism has to say about life after death, but was greeted with an uncomfortable sense of uncertainty, he says. “I had studied world religions and I knew that there were teachings all over the world, so that motivated my thirst and both spiritual and intellectual curiosity to start studying [the topic].” Some Jews believe in life after death, while others do not. But, Rabbi Raphael says, throughout history from the beginning of time, there has been a sense of an interconnection between this world and the world beyond. “In the biblical period, it’s a little vague, but certainly throughout history and especially in the medieval Kabbalistic period, there is a very clear sense of continuity and of consciousness after death.” Much of this continuity links back to the soul. Rabbi Raphael notes that the Kabbalists would say, “To understand the nature of soul and to understand what happens after death, we have to understand what it means to be alive.” The rabbi says that while we inhabit our physical bodies, there is a feeling, a sense and a concsious acknolwedgment that we are thinking. But then “there is this whole realm that we call spirituality where somehow our own individuality connects to something greater. For the Kabbalists, all of those are aspects of the soul. The soul is multi-tiered. In death, the body dies, and there is a part of our being – that animated energy – that sticks around for a while, then dissipates.”

Rabbi Raphael brings forward the idea of a “felt presence after death.” He quotes Zohar, saying, “For seven days the soul goes back and forth from its home to its grave.” There is some sort of transitional state that occurs immediately after death. It corresponds with Jewish rituals, he says, describing the tradition of walking around the block at the end of shiva. “On the psycho-emotional level, it’s saying we’re returning back to our ordinary life. On the spiritual level, it’s saying to the soul, ‘We can walk you this far, but now you have to go the rest of the way on your own.’” In his interview with Rabbi Address, Rabbi Raphael also discusses the phenomenon of the near-death experience. In such an experience, he says, people sometimes have a vision of a mythic being or go through what he calls “a life review.” Even for those who have never had a near-death experience, Rabbi Raphael encourages people to talk openly about death. “Talk to people about their life. Help them review their life … Letting people know that they’re not going to be alone when they die is extremely important.” The rabbi concludes his interview with a short explanation of bereavement. He notes that it can be most difficult to sense that a relationship ceases with death. “Someone dies, you bury their body, and in a materialistic view, they’re in the ground and there is no longer a connection.” But, he says, the connection of the heart can remain very strong. Those who have passed, he says, will always be with us through meaningful coincidences and a continuity of consciousness. We will always remember them, and their souls will live on through us and through our experiences. A Visit jewishsacredaging.com to listen to this episode of the Sacred Aging Podcast.

Av â&#x20AC;¢ Elul 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 57

HAVING HOMEWORK HASSLES?

Need support to help your student with Learning Differences in the management of their homework and growth of their independent learning skills?

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Educational Therapy/Tutoring (grades K-12) With support, students can strengthen academic skills for a successful day to day school experience. Brenda Moss, M.Ed. is a private Educational Therapist who specializes in teaching students HOW to learn with their own unique learning style. She holds a Masters of Education in Educational Therapy (Special Education) and provides individualized program to develop skills in Reading, Spelling, Writing, or Basic Math skills in grades K-12. Brenda served as the Upper School Learning Center Director at the San Diego Jewish Academy and worked for the Agency for Jewish Education. She additionally volunteered for the Anti-Defamation League of San Diego.

BRENDA MOSS, M.ED. 760-652-5331 bmosseduc.therapy@gmail.com

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BastyrClinic.org 58 SDJewishJournal.com | September 2016

Saturday, September 10th from 5:00PM – 7:00PM

Meet our clergy, Rabbi Josh Burrows, and Rabbi/Cantor Gabi Arad. We’ll also be having a joyful Havdalah ceremony to bid farewell to Shabbat and usher in a new week. You’ll have behind-the-scene sneak peeks of our proposed new building and walk a footprint on the exact site it will occupy as our future home quickly comes to fruition. You and your family/friends will be treated to friendly conversation, smiling faces, and a nutritious/delicious nosh. Come meet with our faculty, Cohort Leaders, and members. Cohorts are the distinctive heart and soul of JCo and encompass members’ interests and talents -- showcasing anything and everything from Art and Prayer to Health and Nature with lots of great stuff in-between. We welcome new cohorts to form as quickly as ideas are conceived.

So what’s your passion?! RSVP to: admin@jcosd.com www.jcosd.com

As we celebrate 5777, we reflect on how far we have come and how far we still have to go to secure “justice and fair treatment to all.” At this time of reflection, we thank you for helping us to Imagine A World Without Hate®.

L’Shana Tovah, ADL BoArD AnD StAff of the SAn Diego region

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THROWING A SIMCHA? WE CATER ANY EVENT! • BAR/BAT MITZVAH PARTIES • WEDDINGS • GRADUATION PARTIES • CORPORATE EVENTS • 30-5,000 PEOPLE • KOSHER PLATTERS • BARUCHA LUNCHEONS

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Av • Elul 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 59

SEPTEMBER

||| SENIORS ||| Lawrence Family JCC

JFS Older Adult Center @ Balboa Avenue

JFS College Avenue Center

Contact Melanie Rubin (858) 362-1141

Contact Aviva Saad (858) 550-5998

Contact Sara Diaz (858) 637-3217

Sept. 15, 10 a.m. Sept. 26, 10 a.m. Newcomer’s Meeting. This event is free Mexican Fiesta to celebrate that country’s independence day. Cost is but R.S.V.P. is required by Sept. 19 $27 and R.S.V.P. is required. *The JCC also offers a full schedule of ongoing classes each month. The Sept. 22, 12:30 p.m. Alzheimer’s San Diego caregiver fall semester begins in September, education lecture “Understanding with classes in Spanish, bridge, Dementia.” Free on-site respite is art, music, Tai Chi, technology and more. Check out lfjcc.org/seniors for available. Pre-registration required.

NOVEMBER

OCTOBER

more details or refer to the Shofar newsletter also on the website, or call the seniors department.

Sept. 29, 10 a.m. Rosh Hashanah program to welcome year 5777 with music by Mark Flores.

Oct. 21, noon Annual lunch and concert in the Sukkah. Cost is $11 for members, $14 for nonmembers. R.S.V.P. by Oct. 14

Oct. 20, 10 a.m. Sukkot and Simchat Torah celebration. Cost is $27.

Nov. 7, 1:30 p.m. Yiddish circle. Cost is $3 for members, $4 for nonmembers, no reservation required.

Nov. 17, 10 a.m. Thanksgiving celebration. Cost is $27.

Nov. 11, 4 p.m. Early bird Shabbat dinner for Shabbat San Diego 2016. Cost is $14 for members, $16 for nonmembers, R.S.V.P. by Nov. 4

60 SDJewishJournal.com | September 2016

Sept. 8, 12:45 p.m. Lindsay Wagner returns for part two of a five-part series. Sept. 15, 12:45 p.m. An afternoon with Temple Emanu-El’s Rabbi Devorah Marcus. Sept. 22, 11:30 a.m. Home safety information on National Fall Prevention Day with “The Third Man” film screening. Sept. 26, 12:30 p.m. Food safety and “the smell test.”

Oct. 6, 12:45 p.m. David Amos of the Tifereth Israel Community Orchestra. Oct. 20-Dec. 1, 12:30 p.m. “Healthier Living: Managing Ongoing Health Conditions” six-session class.

*Please note, the JFS Older Adult Center has moved from North County to the Jacobs Family Campus at 8788 Balboa Ave. in Kearny Mesa. Aviva Saad remains the contact person for this center.

Nov. 4, 9:30 a.m. Health fair and flu shots. On the Go Excursions is offering ride service for this event. Nov. 23, noon A Thanksgiving celebration with live entertainment and lunch. Suggested donation is $4 for seniors 60 and older. All others, $7. No reservations needed.

||| EVENTS ||| JCC North County Inland @ Adat Shalom

JCC Coastal Club @ Temple Solel

On the Go Excursions

Call (858) 674-1123

Contact Jo Kessler (858) 637-7320

Sept. 12, 11 a.m. Baking challah for the holidays with Glen Brodowsky.

Sept. 6, 11 a.m. Baking challah for the Holidays with Glen Brodowsky.

Sept. 14, 11 a.m. “The smell test” food safety with Sherry Fusco.

Sept. 13, 11 a.m. “Character Evolving with Age: Moral Goodness.”

Sept. 21, 11 a.m. “Evolving with Age: Respect and Cultural Norms” plus Parkinson’s support group.

Sept. 18 “Sweet Charity” at Welk Resort Theatre. Bus departs at noon. Cost is $67 due by Sept. 6.

Jewish War Veterans Association Post 385

Sept. 22 Lunch and movie @ CAC. Bus departs at 11 a.m. Cost is $15 due by Sept. 15.

Oct. 9, noon

Sept. 20, 11 a.m. Liam Dunfey of North County Senior Village speaks to the group. Sept. 25 “Disney’s Aladdin Jr.” at J*Company. Bus departs at noon. Sept. 27, 11 a.m. Sept. 26, 11 a.m. Celebration of Yiddish and Latin Cost is $33 due by Sept. 16. Celebration of Yiddish and Latin music with special hot lunch Sept. 30 music with special hot lunch available for $5. Annual Rosh Hashanah lunch. available for $5. Bus departs at 11 a.m. Cost is $20 due by Sept. 20. Oct. 5, 11 a.m. Discussion of November propositions with League of Women Voters. Oct. 10, 11 a.m. Cantor Lori Frank with the music of Kol Nidre.

Oct. 11, 11 a.m. Fundamentals of Estate Planning plus “Hitchcock – Strangers on a Train” movie screening.

Oct. 21 Harvest Festival Art & Craft Show at Del Mar Fairgrounds. Bus departs at 11 a.m. Cost is $28 due by Sept. 26. *On the Go is also offering free rides to select synagogues for High Holidays services. Contact Jo Kessler for details.

Oct. 19, 11 a.m. Moral Goodness discussion.

Nov. 1, 11 a.m. Judaica and music history plus “Miles Ahead” movie screening.

Nov. 9, 11 a.m. Collectible road show.

Nov. 8, 11 a.m. Nurturing your best characteristics discussion.

Nov. 28, 11 a.m. Monthly celebration with The High Society Jazz Band and hot lunch.

Nov. 13, noon

Jewish War Veterans Post 185

Contact Jerome (858) 521-8694

Sept. 11, 10 a.m. Oct. 9, 10 a.m. Nov. 13, 10 a.m.

North County Seniors Club @ Oceanside Senior Center Contact Josephine (760) 295-2564

Sept. 15, 12:30 p.m. Oct. 20, 12:30 p.m. Nov. 17, 12:30 p.m.

Contact Jon Schwartz (760) 516-2001

Nov. 2, 11 a.m. Zen and Jewish meditation with David Barzilai plus crochet and knitting class.

Nov. 23, 11 a.m. Maximizing brain health.

Sept. 11, noon

Seacrest Village

Oct. 27, 11 a.m. Discussion with David Amos.

Nov. 14, 11 a.m. A trip to the Museum of Photographic Arts.

Contact Marc (858) 232-1645

Nov. 4 Annual health fair and flu shot event at College Avenue Center. Bus departs at 9 a.m. Cost is $20 due by Oct. 26.

Sept. 7, 6:30 p.m. Dr. Ken Druck will discuss “Writing THE Letter to Your Family: Leaving a Legacy of Love.” This event takes place in the synagogue at Seacrest Village, Encinitas. R.S.V.P. to Jon Schwartz.

Nov. 15, 11 a.m. Memoir and self-expression. Nov. 29, 11 a.m. Monthly celebration with The High Society Jazz Band and hot lunch.

Av • Elul 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 61

Ohr Shalom Synagogue invites you to a

Selichot Service

Saturday, September 24, 8:00pm Selichot Service with the Ohr Shalom Choir. Changing of daily Torah Covers to the white festival Torah Covers in preparation for the High Holy Days. Dessert Reception to follow. Best wishes for a sweet and healthy 5777!

Scott Meltzer, Rabbi • Ray Sachs, President 2512 Third Avenue at Laurel • San Diego, CA 92103 619.231.1456 • oﬃce@ohrshalom.org • www.ohrshalom.org

The Sisterhood Gift Shop is open by appointment.

62 SDJewishJournal.com | September 2016

||| CHARITABLE GIVING |||

Inspired to Give Back One woman’s journey to create more community for herself and others BY CALINE CHITAYAT

amie Gold, a San Fernando Valley native, was 25 years old when she went on Birthright. “I actually had no desire to [go to Israel], but I was in a job that I couldn’t stand and I wanted to go on vacation,” Gold recalls. A couple of her friends convinced her to join them on the trip to Israel. “I was the naïve person who thought there would be camels everywhere. I really had no concept of Israel; it just wasn’t on my radar.” When Gold arrived, she says she immediately fell in love with the country. “The community, the culture, everything just hit me, and I realized I wanted that in my life.” During her trip, Gold bumped into a girl on another Birthright trip who told her about Masa Israel, a public-service organization that offers unique study, service and career development experiences to young Jewish adults from around the globe. Gold learned of the Israel Teaching Fellows program, which combined what she wanted to do with where she wanted to be, and was very affordable option for a life change. Gold applied to the program and was accepted when she landed back in the U.S. She quit her job and moved to Israel five months later. “Everything in my life has changed as a result of the program – personally and professionally.” Masa’s Israel Teaching Fellows program is a 10-month program for college graduates between the ages of 21 and 30. The program allows these graduates to teach English to Israeli students and to immerse themselves in Israeli society. Masa

coordinates trips to various destinations around Israel throughout the 10 months. The organization also provides participants with an apartment. Gold lived with five other girls. “I was in Rishon LeZion. My necklace has the coordinates, so it’s always near my heart,” she says. “In the first month or two, we did ulpan and then [Masa] gave us 100 hours of teaching preparation, in order to make us feel comfortable in the classroom. There was no requirement for going on the program – you didn’t have to have any teaching background at all – so they wanted to make sure all of us were comfortable.” After the High Holidays, the Teaching Fellows arrived in their classrooms. Most were assigned to elementary school, but Gold landed in a middle school. Her experience was probably different because of

throwing things and talking to each other incessantly. It was very different from the way she grew up in California. Gold does note that the students completely respected her. Even though they seemed to look at her as more of a peer, she says she could tell they truly wanted to learn from her. “It was really cool because they looked at me like I was a gift. If they got chosen to go with me, it was special because not everyone was able to. It was also cool that I didn’t speak a lot of Hebrew because if they wanted to talk to me, then they really had to force themselves to speak English. I found that naturally, they were doing better in their English classes because they wanted to converse.” Gold was participating in the program during Operation Pillar of Defense through the fall of 2012.

“I was in Rishon LeZion. My necklace has the

coordinates, so it’s always near my heart.”

that, she says. Gold would take out groups of between eight and 10 students, typically a mix of very advanced English learners and some intermediate ones. The goal was to have the advanced learners motivate the intermediate students. Although it was a very exciting time, Gold says she thought she was going to quit on the first day. “The school environment in general is so different. It’s crazy to me because some of the smartest, most innovative people in the world come out of that country.” She remembers kids running around,

“That was really hard for me. But it was amazing because I got to go and talk to these students and they were having conversations about these really deep, meaningful things. They made me feel better. I was teaching them English, but they were also teaching me.” At the end of the school year, Gold watched her students go through graduation. The program came to a close, and it was time for her to head back to the States. As exciting as it was to see her family and friends, Gold says it took her many months to adjust back to life on the American West Coast. Av • Elul 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 63

PHOTO COURTESY JAMIE GOLD

The program came to a close,

and it was time for her to head

back to the States. As exciting

as it was to see her family and

friends, Gold says it took her

many months to adjust back to

life on the American West Coast. “I just feel so much more connected to Israel than to America. I can’t even compare the two,” she says. “Even when I went on Birthright, it felt more like home. I know everybody says that, but it’s true. It’s a feeling that I didn’t have in America.” In the five months between Birthright and the Teaching Fellows program, Gold sought to find a community like the one she had in Israel. “I didn’t have a community prior, and I wasn’t involved in a Jewish community by any means. I had a friend who went on Birthright with me and told me we should go to a Moishe House event. I had never heard of [the organization], but I ended up going and it was great because I really connected with the people who lived in the house. I think that’s really important,” she says. Moishe House is a nonprofit organization that provides a vibrant Jewish community for young adults in their 20s and facilitates a wide range of experiences, so that they have the leadership, knowledge and community to enrich their Jewish journeys. “I ended up going to all of their events during those few months, and naturally I became friends with them.” Eventually Gold heard about an opening at the West L.A. Moishe House, so she moved in and lived there for the next two and a half years. Gold did a teaching program called DeLeT at Hebrew Union College and was able to earn her teaching credential. It was the perfect transition from Masa, where she went from teaching in an informal setting to formally teaching. However, after working in a Jewish day school, Gold realized that while she loved the social and emotional aspects of teaching, she wasn’t set on academics for 40 hours each week. “While I was in the teaching program realizing I didn’t want to be a teacher, I had all this responsibility as a Moishe House resident. I was planning seven events each month for the community and doing a lot of outreach. I really, really cared about it, and my roommate asked me, ‘What are you not doing this for a job?’ I started thinking about it, and was really passionate about working in the Jewish community.” Moishe House approached Gold while she was still a resident and informed her of a job opening. After three months, she moved from L.A. to San Diego for the job and has been with them for nine months now. As Director of Alumni Engagement, Gold is able to reflect on her own experiences as a resident and what she wants from the program 64 SDJewishJournal.com | September 2016

Jamie Gold never wanted to go to Israel, but she says a teaching fellowship there changed her life anyway.

as an alumni. “I love developing and cultivating deep and meaningful relationships. We have 820 alumni at the moment, and we’ll have more alumni than residents soon, so my job is really just to connect with people who have lived in the house and find out what they want to see.” Gold notes that she feels so lucky because she has the resources now and can bring her own creativity to the job. “It’s not like a large corporation where if you want to do something, you have to wait. At Moishe House, if they hire you, they trust you and give you that creative freedom. I feel that there is such an untapped market right now that I have so much potential to create so many great things.” When asked if Gold would ever consider moving back to Israel, she says that if she would go back, she would definitely want to have a purpose for being there. “The first time it was Masa, but now I’m in a different place in my life, and I would want to have a job lined up there. But yes, I would definitely consider moving back – at least for a short amount of time. Israel will always be my second home, and my kids will be raised with it. It will always be a place that I am constantly thinking about and visiting when I can.” A

HIGH HOLIDAY SERVICES At The Manchester Grand Hyatt 1 Market Place, S Diego, Ca 92101

Join Chabad of Downtown for meaningful & inspirational services this Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur! • Warm and Friendly Atmosphere • No Affiliation Necessary • Traditional Services • Hebrew/English Prayerbooks • Festive Rosh Hashanah Dinner • Exciting Children’s Program! • Hotel room group rates

For more info and reservations: Visit www.ChabadDowntown.com or call 619-289-8770

Chabad of Downtown SDiego

308 G Street, S Diego, CA 92101 | www.ChabadDowntown.com

BRANCHING OUT OF THE BOX Join us at JNF National Conference September 16-19 at the New York Hilton Midtown. Register at jnf.org/nc Check out local upcoming events on JNF San Diego’s page at facebook.com/JNF.SanDiego

For more information or to get involved contact Amy Hart at ahart@jnf.org or 858.824.9178 x988.

B’nai Shalom Affiliated with United Synagogue of Conservation Judaism Serving San Diego and North County

Please Join Us For Our High Holiday Services 200 Civic Center Dr. Vista CA 92081 Rosh Hashana Service: Sunday Oct. 2nd at 7:30pm-Erev Service Monday Oct. 3rd at 9:30am-1:00pm Tuesday Oct. 4th at 9:30am-1:00pm at TEMPLE Yom Kippur: Tuesday Oct. 11th at 6:30pm-Kol Nidre Services Wednesday Oct. 12th: 9:30am-2:00pm Conducting Services: 11:00am Yiskor Rabbi Hillel Silverman and 2:00pm-5:00pm-Break Cantor Vladimir Staerman 5:00pm-6:30pm-Neliah followed by break the fast at B’nai Shalom

Our High Holiday tickets will be only $125.00 which includes the first year membership and privileges for new members only. For Full Service Schedule, Reservations, High Holiday Tickets or Event Inquiries

Please call Fern

(760)659-6606 Please contact Fern to inquire about our FREE Sunday School for Kindergarden and 1st Grade.

Visit our website at: jnf.org • 800.JNF.0099

www.BnaiShalomSD.org 201 E. Broadway, Vista, CA

Av • Elul 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 65

||| CHARITABLE GIVING |||

uring the recession, increased focus on job-creating businesses got Laura Deitrick scratching her head. As Interim Director of the Institute of Nonprofit Education and Research at the University of San Diego, it has been Deitrick’s job to understand nonprofits and translate that understanding into teachable info for the school’s myriad education programs for nonprofit managers and master’s students. “When the recession hit, I started to notice that everything became about jobs and economic impact,” she says over the phone. “We talked a lot about the social impact of the sector, but I became more interested in how this sector helps our economy. Not only how does it support it, by helping people and being a social safety net, but how does it actually participate – as an employer, as a recipient of grants from outside our region.” In 2011, she launched the “State of Nonprofits and Philanthropy in San Diego,” an annual report that looks at government data and reports on interviews conducted with local nonprofit executives to check the temperature of this sector. “We wanted people to understand that nonprofits are a sector that doesn’t just take money but that puts money hopefully back into our system, by paying employees and paying some kinds of taxes.” In addition to the annual reports, Deitrick and her team of researchers created a quarterly index built on interviews with nonprofit leaders. Deitrick says that most data about nonprofits relies on IRS tax forms, so they lag by about two years. The quarterly indices offer a more real-time glimpse into the nonprofit sector. In 2014, the Caster Family Center for Nonprofit and Philanthropic Research at USD was retained by the California Association of Nonprofits to apply the rigor of the San Diego report to all of the nonprofits in the state. That effort resulted in “Causes Count, The Economic Power of California’s Nonprofit Sector,” which found nonprofits to be a major 66 SDJewishJournal.com | September 2016

economic force in the state, contributing to 15 percent of gross state profit, paying $37 billion in taxes, and being the fourth largest industry in the state (contributing more jobs than construction, finance and real estate

CHART FROM USD “STATE OF THE NONPROFIT SECTOR” ANNUAL REPORT 2016

industries), among other metrics. For the most part, Deitrick says, San Diego’s nonprofit sector looks proportionally similar to the state and national data with one key differentiation. “In terms of philanthropy and grant-making, we really fall short here … when you look at philanthropic dollars on a per capita basis.” She points to the Causes Count study, which included largescale foundations that reside in Los Angeles and San Francisco. By comparison, San Diego’s foundations are still very small. What has grown in her years of researching this sector is the public’s awareness of, and trust in, nonprofits. “Years ago we did a study that showed one third of San Diegans could not name a nonprofit accurately,” Deitrick recalls. She says still today the general public doesn’t really understand the operating model of nonprofits or the details of how the sector works. But in the 2016 study, 87 percent of San Diegans expressed overall confidence in local nonprofits, compared to 77 percent who report confidence in private corporate businesses and 56 percent who express confidence in the government. Deitrick notes that emphasis for support of the nonprofit sector is typically placed on foundations and individual philanthropists, but the bulk of money going to nonprofits comes from governments – local, state and federal. The team uses data from the 2-1-1 call center to gauge the city’s demand for services. Post-recession, need for income support and employment services has declined while need for services related to housing has increased. Deitrick acknowledges the limitation of the 2-1-1 data but also sees this year’s data as a natural reaction to the economy’s slow rebound. With the housing crisis in San Diego and across the country, there are more government programs offering support for housing efforts and as people become more aware of those programs, Deitrick says calls for information naturally increase. Where this data can be helpful to local nonprofits, she says, is in exploring potential areas of collaboration and in encouraging funding sources to align their efforts with this need. This year’s report found 10,196 501(c)(3) public charities operating in San Diego. Most operate under the human services umbrella (33 percent), followed by education (21 percent), mutual public and societal benefit (13.5 percent) and arts and culture (11.5 percent). Of that 10,196, 82 percent report annual revenue less than $250,000. “About 2,500 of them have paid employees,” Deitrick says. “It’s normal. … That fabric of really interesting small organizations is really what makes a democractic society.” The Center sends the report to local elected officials, and Deitrick says that nonprofits often use the data in reports to their boards, foundations use it to look at “what’s going on on the ground here?” Although the report highlights the many common challenges that nonprofits face, namely the questions of operating budgets and emphasis on program outcomes, Deitrick says the sector is very diverse. This year’s annual report concludes with a prediction that the nonprofit sector will continue to grow, but in order to more efficiently meet the needs of the public, increased dialogue with funders, more collaboration between organizations and continued investment in the workforce would be prudent. The report also cautions executives to “strategically plan” for the pending minimum wage increase. A

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Readers interested in the full “State of Nonprofits and Philanthropy in San Diego” can visit sandiego.edu/soles/caster-center. Av • Elul 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 67

||| CHARITABLE GIVING |||

hen Mark Zuckerberg and Priscilla Chan gave 18 million shares of appreciated Facebook stock (now worth nearly $1 billion) to the Silicon Valley Community Foundation (SVCF) in late 2013, they, perhaps unwittingly, put the words “donor advised fund” on everyone’s lips. Or at least the lips of anyone who pays attention to philanthropy trends, which, if the continued attention to this matter from both sides of the judgement coin can be an indicator, is quite a few people. One recent defense of the couple and their philanthropic decision was written by David J. Herzig, a law professor at Valparaiso University, in an op-ed for the Washington Post dated December 9, 2015. Herzig notes that there have previously been only two “established boxes” into which charitable donations funneled – through an independent family foundation or by writing checks to organizations directly. Neither, says Orin Green, a local financial advisor who sits on the board of San Diego’s Jewish Community Foundation (JCF), is entirely efficient. “For people whom charitable giving is a big part of their life, a donor advised fund is a way to do that more efficiently and often to save more in taxes than they might if they were just giving a check directly to the

organization,” Green says. Donor advised funds allow for gifts of appreciated stock, as in the Zuckerberg case, real estate and business assets, and, of course, cash. In his exploration of the “Philanthropic Revolution” for the Los Angeles Times, Jack Shakely, president emeritus of the California Community Foundation in L.A., asserts that the growing popularity of donor advised funds are a matter of economics. “A million-dollar foundation can easily cost more to run than it gives away,” he wrote in March of 2014. “In many cases,” says Green, “[a donor advised fund] can provide the same resources for a lot less cost and complexity. ... A lot of times you can do the same kind of giving without having to duplicate the overhead and tax costs, so I think we’re seeing a lot more large donor advised funds than in the past.” In the eyes of the IRS, contributions to donor advised funds are treated as gifts to public charities, which distinguish them from donations made to private foundations in two main ways. First, donors can claim a higher charitable contribution deduction – up to 50 percent of adjusted gross income versus 30 percent if the donation were made to a private foundation. Second, donor-advised funds are not subject to GRAPHIC COURTESY JEWISH COMMUNITY FOUNDATION

68 SDJewishJournal.com | September 2016

minimum annual payout requirements or other restrictions that are placed on private foundations. Though the donor advised fund has been around since the 1930s, the IRS in 2008 noted that its popularity proliferated in the 1990s when “for-profit financial investment firms began to establish affiliated nonprofit organizations to maintain donor advised fund accounts.” Known as commercial DAFs, they were essentially used as shells for the for-profit investment firm to make money on administration fees from the DAFs, while providing havens for “donors” to avoid paying taxes on their assets. In one instance of egregious misuse of the intention of donor advised funds, a federal court in 2006 found that a foundation called New Dynamics was designed to “warehouse wealth” by allowing donors to

a minimum annual distribution. While the money can only be used for charitable donations, funds can be put into the account one year and not used for several years, or ever. It’s unclear why someone would lock money and assets up just to avoid a tax payment if there is no intention to ever use it, but that’s the argument. Aside from the headline-making contributions, donor advised funds also make this kind of tax-wise, fee-aware charitable giving accessible to those who reside outside the top one percent. At San Diego’s Jewish Community Foundation (JCF), donors can start a fund with $1,800, and grants can be made in amounts as little as $100. Annual fee to maintain the account is $300 or 1.5 percent of the fund’s value. “I think the general perception is charitable giving strategies are probably

The Jewish Community Foundation holds more than $280 million in assets, in donor-advised and other funds. For the years 2014-15, JCF reports its funders granted more than $107 million from donor-advised funds to more than 1,400 organizations. The majority of those grants were between $100 and $1,000. A donor-advised fund can exist in perpetuity and JCF encourages donors to continue the legacy of giving through their children. “We have one for our family,” says Green, “and we actually have it set up that when my wife and I pass away, funds are set up for our kids to continue giving.” Their kids – aged 16, 12, 10 and 6 – are also part of the conversation about where to give the funds now, which, Green says, grew out of his oldest son’s participation in JCF’s

“For people whom charitable giving is a big part of their life, a donor advised fund is a way to do that more efficiently and often to save more in taxes than they might if they were just giving a check directly to the organization,” Green says. “contribute” to a donor advised fund that was then allowed to be distributed for their own personal interests. In a guide sheet published by the IRS, it is noted that the court found donors to the New Dynamics Foundation (NDF) were “encouraged to reformulate their requests to disguise the true nature of the expenditures involved,” and were “allowed to treat NDF as a conduit for accomplishing the twin tax avoidance goals of building up their assets tax-free and then siphoning off the accumulated wealth to pay for personal expenditures.” That, obviously, is not the way donor advised funds are supposed to work, and following that case, the federal government passed the Pension Protection Act, which refined the rules for donor advised funds. Still, skepticism remains. Notably, Salesforce CEO and Bay Area philanthropist Marc Benioff criticized Zuckerberg’s donor advised fund contribution, saying “You give your money to SVCF and you get your tax write-off. Where’s it gone? What good is it doing now?” Benioff ’s concern comes from that point about donor advised funds not requiring

there for the super-wealthy,” Green says, “[but] they’re not.” For Hanukkah one year, Janet Acheatel, a long-time financial advisor who chairs the investment committee at the Jewish Community Foundation, started three donor-advised funds with $2,000 in each of her three adult children’s names. “I wanted to teach them how endowments work,” Acheatel says. The idea Acheatel wanted to pass down to her kids was that they could give in little amounts, both into their fund and out to the organizations of their choosing. “It’s been really exciting because sometimes they tell us what they did and sometimes they don’t. One of my boys now has started going to the Men’s Event with his dad and he does his annual Men’s Event campaign from his donor advised fund. It’s become kind of a thing that came out of that gift.” Sharleen Wollach, director of philanthropy operations at JCF, points out that synagogue dues and High Holiday contributions can also be made through a donor advised fund, as synagogues are nonprofits.

Teen Foundation program. To continue the charitable education of her family, Acheatel next wants to open a fund for her three children to administer together, and one for her grandchildren (currently eight of them) to grant from. Writing for the Chronicle of Philanthropy, Ray Madoff in an op-ed dated Jan. 13, 2014, notes “while giving to most charities has remained largely flat in recent years, contributions to donor-advised funds are growing at eye-popping double-digit rates.” On the positive side, he notes these funds “democratized philanthropy, making it easy for anyone – even those with just a small amount of money – to create an endowment that can be available with a click of the mouse whenever the urge to give strikes.” A The Jewish Community Foundation works with local financial advisors to share information about the details of donor advised funds. Philanthropy officers are also available directly through JCF. Find more information at jcfsandiego.org.

Av • Elul 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 69

||| FINANCE |||

he role of women is changing,” observes Audrey Levine, president of Hadassah’s San Diego chapter. “It used to be that the husband took care of [all the finances], but that isn’t true anymore. A lot of women are caught in either getting divorced, their spouse gets sick, [or] their spouse passes away unexpectedly.” The national Hadassah organization, whose main focus is supporting its namesake hospital in Israel, has expanded in recent years to include a domestic agenda having to do with women’s health more broadly. Recognizing that women are outliving men, and divorce rates have risen while marriage rates have fallen for various age groups, Hadassah includes financial health as an important issue it seeks to address for women today. San Diego’s chapter has expanded on national programming with a one-day seminar happening later this month, called “Knowledge is Power: Taking Control of Your Financial Future.” “Women need to be able to understand their finances,” Levine says. “Our goal is to empower them to feel like they have a level of knowledge [on the subject], and in addition, they know where they can go to learn more when the time comes and they want to.” The program takes place on Sunday, Sept. 25 from 10 a.m.-5 p.m. at the offices of Latham & Watkins, LLP in Carmel Valley. Participants will choose from a variety of workshop sessions designed to empower women of all ages and experience levels to become better versed in financial planning. “Because we’re dealing with such a diverse community here in San Diego, we decided that the best way to approach the subject was to create a day where women could take time off and pick the workshops that interest them,” says workshop co-chair Susan Kanfer. In a press release for the event, Hadassah San Diego’s Deena Feinman notes that 73 million women participate in America’s workforce, but more than 50 percent say 70 SDJewishJournal.com | September 2016

“they need some help understanding their finances.” Each workshop will have at least two facilitators – local experts in their particular financial field. Workshop topics include: Identity Theft and Online Security; Couples and Money; Confidence in Retirement Planning and Investment Strategies; Charitable Giving and Estate Planning; Planning and Saving for College; and Financial, Social and Legal Aspects of Aging. Participants will choose three of the six workshops to attend throughout the day.

Hadassah San Diego’s Deena Feinman notes that 73 million women participate in America’s workforce, but more than 50 percent say “they need some help understanding their finances.” Women aged 50-70 can also opt for the limited-space, full-day session, “Know Your Worth: Own Your Future,” to learn tips for insuring long-term economic security and investing for retirement. “We couldn’t just have one program that would be interesting to everybody,” Kanfer says. “It made sense to have workshops so that we can reach a broad range of ages and interests.” The breakout groups will also provide more intimate settings for participants to feel comfortable asking personal questions. Levine and Kanfer say the workshops will be interactive, with highly knowledgeable facilitators and energetic Hadassah members. The event is $25 for early bird registration or $36 after Sept. 15. Highlands Wealth Management at UBS Financial has agreed to underwrite the program. Lunch and refreshments will be provided. For more information, contact Hadassah at (858) 263-3200. A

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FULLY-CATERED MEALS AT THE HOTEL DEL CORONADO Av • Elul 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 71

||| FOOD |||

Tori Avey is an award-winning food writer, recipe developer, and the creator of the popular cooking website toriavey.com. She writes about food history for PBS Food and Parade.com. Follow Tori on Facebook by searching for “Tori Avey” and on Twitter: @toriavey.

in the kitchen WITH MICHAEL BERKOWITS’

TORI AVEY IKWTA

KOSHER CHICKEN PAPRIKASH

PHOTOS BY ASHLEY BIGGS

72 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2016

PHOTOS BY VITO DI STEFANO

wo summers ago I visited with my friend, Michael Berkowits, a retired chef and Holocaust survivor living here in Southern California. I first met Michael through my friend and fellow food writer Jackie Dodd, who was running a social work program for local seniors. Ever since Jackie introduced us, Michael and I have stayed in touch. When we first met, he shared his incredible life story with me, along with his recipe for tiramisu. He is a wonderful person who has been through so much, yet he remains positive and full of life. I feel so blessed to know him. Michael had been wanting to teach me his recipe for Kosher Chicken Paprikash, so I headed over to his place for a cooking lesson. My assistant Ashley came along for the ride to snap pics of the experience. Michael walked us through the process of making the recipe, step-by-step. Michael became familiar with this dish during his childhood. He grew up in Transylvania (what is now the central part of Romania, and was once part of Hungary). Because of his background, many of his family recipes have a Hungarian influence. Michael’s mother, who was sadly lost in the Holocaust, cooked this dish for him when he was a young boy. After moving to Israel and later America, Michael became a chef. Though he cooks a variety of foods from all around the world, the Hungarian-inspired dishes hold a special place in his heart. This chicken paprikash might be slightly different than the paprikash you’re familiar with. Many Hungarian paprikash recipes contain sour cream, which adds creaminess to the sauce. Because Michael grew up kosher and milk was never mixed with meat, this recipe contains no dairy. The sauce is rich and thick, but not creamy. Nowadays kosher cooks can substitute dairy-free sour cream in a dish like this, but when Michael was growing up dairy substitutes weren’t common. Traditionally the dish is served over nokedli or spätzle, which are simple little egg noodle dumplings that are very easy to make. You can find the recipe for Michael’s nokedli on my website, toriavey.com. If you don’t want to go to the trouble of making the dumplings (or if you’re gluten free), you can easily substitute mashed potatoes, rice, or even quinoa. The dish pairs well with a starch, but

you could also serve it with a green vegetable or mashed cauliflower to make it low carb. It’s a versatile entree. After we cooked, we ate together and chatted about Michael’s new hobby. He’s recently started organizing large dinners for the residents of his retirement complex. Everybody pitches in money for the ingredients, then Michael cooks the food. When we last met they were having dinners twice a month, but the residents enjoyed it so much that they asked him to do it every week! This is not surprising; Michael is quite a chef, and quite a person. I’ve broken down Michael’s instructions to create the Kosher Chicken Paprikash recipe below. It’s a pretty simple dish to make. This is a hearty but healthy dish, a super comforting meal. Thanks to Michael for sharing!

KOSHER CHICKEN PAPRIKASH INGREDIENTS 12 pieces chicken legs and thighs 2 tsp paprika (Hungarian paprika is best) 2 red bell peppers, seeded 2 tomatoes 1 tsp chicken consommé powder 4 cloves fresh garlic 1 ½ tbsp olive oil 2 onions peeled and sliced ¼ cup fresh chopped parsley, divided Salt and black pepper to taste 2 tbsp cornstarch You will also need: Large sauce pot, blender Yield: 8-12 servings Total Time: 1 hour 30 minutes Kosher Key: Meat

INSTRUCTIONS: Before he begins, Michael likes to take the skin off of the chicken, so the dish doesn't contain as much fat. You can leave the skin on if you prefer. Sprinkle the chicken pieces generously with paprika, salt and pepper (if using kosher chicken, salt lightly). Place the bell peppers, tomatoes, chicken consommé powder and garlic into a blender. Blend to form a sauce. In a large pot, heat olive oil over medium. Sauté the onion slices in olive oil until tender. Once the onions have softened and are starting to caramelize, add the seasoned chicken pieces to the pot. Sauté for a few minutes. Pour the blended sauce over the top of the chicken pieces. Add water until the sauce just covers the chicken. Sprinkle with 3 tbsp of the chopped parsley, season with salt and pepper to taste (we used about 1 1/4 tsp of each), and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to a low simmer. Cover the pot, vented slightly. Cook the chicken for about 1 hour or to desired tenderness. The longer it simmers the more tender it becomes. When the chicken is finished cooking, adjust salt and pepper seasoning to taste. Mix together 2 tbsp cornstarch with 3 tbsp of cold water. Gently stir the corn starch mixture into the chicken sauce and simmer for a minute or two to thicken. Serve chicken and sauce over warm nokedli (spätzle) or the starch of your choice. Mashed potatoes, egg noodles and rice will also work well. Sprinkle with remaining 1 tbsp chopped parsley to garnish (optional). A Av • Elul 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 73

? GOIN '?ON ?? WHAT'S BY EILEEN SONDAK

San Diego Symphony

Summer Pops winds down its Bayside Summer Nights, with the popular “1812 Tchaikovsky Spectacular” on Sept. 2-4 at the Embarcadero. The performance will be capped off with a traditional fireworks display.

San Diego Opera

The San Diego Opera returns to the Balboa Theater on Sept. 17 to launch its season with a recital by renowned tenor Piotr Beczala, accompanied by Martin Katz.

La Jolla Playhouse

The La Jolla Playhouse will unveil a new comedy at the Potiker Theater Sept. 6. “Tiger Style!” revolves around a pair of squabbling siblings Albert and Jennifer Chen. They were over-achieving students who are now failing badly at being adults. The show abounds with cheeky humor, as it travels with the twosome from California to China. The comic antics will continue through Oct. 2. PHOTO BY JOAN MARCUS

PHOTO BY JIM COX

Jenna Fischer, Greg Germann, Alexandra Henrikson, and Josh Stamberg perform in "Meteor Shower."

The Old Globe

The Old Globe’s 2016 Shakespeare Festival continues with the Bard’s charming comedy “Love’s Labor’s Lost” dominating the alfresco stage through Sept. 18. The play makes merry with the fact that the king and his schoolmates vow to give up girls for three years – until the beautiful young ladies show up to throw a monkey wrench into their best laid plans. The Globe will bring the West Coast premiere of “October Sky” to the Main Stage on Sept. 10, where it will remain through Oct. 23. The heartwarming musical features a score by Michael Mahler and stars Kyle Selig. The large cast includes Joel Blum and Austyn Myers. The Globe’s White Theatre continues to feature “Meteor Shower,” an adult comedy by Steve Martin. The new work is a surprising mix of the offbeat and the absurd, examining modern marriage and interpersonal relationships through the prism of Martin’s unique brand of humor. The show (which was extended twice) runs through Sept. 18 – and it sounds like a winner! Following on the Globe’s White stage is “The Lion,” written and performed by Benjamin Scheuer. The show (described as an “unforgettable rock ‘n roll journey”) will take over the theaterin-the-round setting Sept. 29-Oct. 30. This one-man show is a coming-of-age story told through rock music. Also mark your calendar for Sept. 24, when “Hamilton” star Leslie Odom Jr. makes an appearance at the Globe Gala, the organization’s biggest fundraiser of the year. 74 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2016

"The Lion King" returns to the Civic Theatre through Oct. 2.

Broadway-San Diego

Broadway-San Diego is bringing back the musical spectacle, “The Lion King” to the Civic Theatre for an extended run Sept. 7 through Oct. 2. This larger-than-life musical abounds with visual and musical artistry. The costumes and masks are awe-inspiring, and the music is unforgettable. Take the whole family to experience this Disney phenomenon.

San Diego Repertory Theatre

San Diego Repertory Theatre will launch its new season on Sept.15 with “Manifest Destinitis,” an early California adaptation of Moliere’s “The Imaginary Invalid.” The farcical delight (set between the end of the Mexican-American War and the start of the Gold Rush) is a world premiere by Herb Siguenza, directed by the Rep’s own Sam Woodhouse. This version of the comic masterpiece will remain at the Rep’s downtown home through Oct. 9. PHOTO BY DAREN SCOTT

North Coast Repertory Theatre

North Coast Repertory Theatre kicks off its new season with A.R. Gurney’s comedy about life among New England’s upper-crust WASPs Sept. 7 through Oct. 2. “The Cocktail Hour” offers an intoxicating story told as the drinks keep flowing. Rosina Reynolds directs this sophisticated play’s Solana Beach run.

PHOTO COURTESY FLEET

Cygnet Theatre

Cygnet is almost through with its run of “Gypsy,” the classic musical propelled by the music of Jule Stune and lyrics by Stephen Sondheim. The show has iconic songs the likes of “Let Me Entertain You” and “Everything’s Coming Up Roses.” It follows the tale of Gypsy Rose Lee and her show-biz hungry Mama Rose, through Gypsy’s rise to the top of the burlesque world. The effervescent musical is set to close at Cygnet’s Old Town Theatre on Sept. 4.

Welk Theatre

Welk Theatre will open the curtain on “Sweet Charity” Sept. 2. This dance musical is based on a screenplay by Fellini, and the dance numbers are based on Fosse’s originals. The show features lyrics by Neil Simon and Dorothy Fields. No wonder it was such a success on Broadway. You can see “Charity” through Nov. 20, and a buffet dinner precedes every performance.

Lamb’s Players Theatre

The Lamb’s is celebrating 100 years of great music with “American Rhythm.” The musical journey, conceived by Robert Smyth, was extended at the Lamb’s Coronado home through at least Sept. 4 (so check for another possible extension), and features singers, dancers and a live band.

San Diego Museum of Art

The San Diego Museum of Art’s exhibition titled “Brush and Ink” – a collection of Asian art – will end its run at the museum Sept. 4. Also closing that day is the museum’s newest show, “Quilts and Color from the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston.” The fantastic display of America’s classic quilting prowess has been on display throughout the summer.

Museum of Contemporary Art

The Museum of Contemporary Art features “Holdings from the Museum Collection” at its La Jolla location through Sept. 4. “Papel ‘Chicano Dos Works on Paper from the Collection of Cheech Marin” will be on exhibition at the downtown facility through Nov. 27, along with “For DeLIMITations: A Survey of the 1821 U.S.-Mexico Border,” Ruben Ochoa: Watching, Waiting, Commiserating,” and “Moris: Beautiful Landscape 7.”

Reuben H. Fleet Science Center

On Sept. 30, the Fleet will open “The Art of the Brick,” an incredible exhibition of more than 100 LEGO sculptures. It will be up in the museum through January 30, 2017. Sculptures include a 20-foot-long T-Rex skeleton, LEGO versions of art masterpieces like “Starry Night” and “Mona Lisa.” The Fleet has also placed renewed emphasis on monthly science events. A full calendar can be found on their website, along with showtimes for all IMAX films.

The Natural History Museum

The Natural History Museum is featuring “Extraordinary Ideas from Ordinary People: A History of Citizen Science.” Among the items included in this exhibition are rare books, art, and historical documents. The NAT is also debuting a trail guide in conjunction with its ongoing exhibit “Coast to Cactus.” The massive show “Whales: Giants of the Deep,” which offers an up-close look into the world of the whales, will come to an end on Sept. 5.

Timken Museum of Art

The Timken Museum of Art kicked off its new partnership with the University of San Diego with a joint exhibition of more than 200 art works from a private collection. “Collections in Context: American Art from a Pacific Northwest Collection (1860-1915) features giants, such as Winslow Homer, Mary Cassatt and Frederic Remington. The show will be ensconced through Sept. 4. Av • Elul 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 75

DIVERSIONS

By Natalie Jacobs

GI Film Festival

“Indignation” James Schamus’ film adaptation of Philip Roth’s 2008 novel “Indignation” offers an authentically drab picture of the repressive and fearful 1950s as it follows Marcus Messner (played by Logan Lerman) from his last days working in his father’s kosher butcher shop to his first year at a Christian college in Ohio. The Korean War wages in the background. “Indignation” is slow like the 50s, which can feel tedious to modern audiences, but intellectual banter is dropped like cookie crumbs that keep it worth following until the end. One scene in particular, when Marcus engages in a battle of wits against Winesburg College’s Dean Caudwell, is masterfully rendered to the point of discomfort. It is in this scene, at about the halfway point, that audiences are first introduced to Marcus’s true indignation. He’s a self-proclaimed atheist who is forced to attend chapel 10 times per year in order to graduate. He’s a loner who has switched dorm rooms, from a triple where he was housed with two of only 80 total Jews on campus to a “rustic” single on the outskirts of the property. Under the pretense of concern for his adaptability and social skills, Dean Caudwell manages to be both anti-Semitic and condescending, which brings out the debating, communist admirer in Marcus. While no end date is officially set, “Indignation” will likely finish its run at the Landmark Hillcrest Cinemas in a couple weeks.

As a military town, there are a lot of ways San Diego can explore a soldier’s story. For the second year in a row, the GI Film Festival is adding to that list, with five days of screenings, Sept. 14-18 at various locations around town. This year, two films also have Jewish themes, proof that there are always more stories to tell about World War II. In “Defying the Nazis: The Sharps’ War,” Ken Burns and Artemis Joukowsky III introduce audiences to church minister Waitstill Sharp and his wife Martha. The couple left their home and their children in Wellesley, Mass., to join a mission in Europe and help save Jews and other refugees fleeing the Nazis. Also showing during the festival is the documentary “The Unimaginable Journey of Peter Ertel,” whose title character was a German soldier for five years at the beginning of WWII. Though Ertel goes on to be “like family” to his Jewish employers by the end of the War, Ertel carries a certain kind of guilt for his association with the Germans. Age 96 when the documentary was filmed, Ertel tells his own life story, illustrated by previously unreleased archival footage and reenactments from history. The full screening schedule is available at gifilmfestivalsd.org.

A still shot from "The Unimaginable Journey of Peter Ertel" showing this month at the GI Film Festival.

San Diego International Film Festival

Rachel Weisz stars in "Denial" showing at the SD International Film Fest.

Almost immediately following the GI Film Fest, San Diego International Film Festival will take over screens at ArcLight Cinema in UTC, the Museum of Contemporary Art, and some in the Gaslamp Quarter. Showing more than 100 independent films, studio premieres, and celebrity panels, the festival runs Sept. 28-Oct. 2. This year, three films of specific Jewish interest are screening throughout the five-day festival. “Denial,” recounts the legal battle between Deborah E. Lipstadt and David Irving. After Lipstadt declared Irving a Holocaust denier, he brought a libel suit against her, resulting in a landmark case that required Lipstadt’s legal team to prove that the Holocaust did, in fact, happen. “The Incomparable Rose Hartman” explores the decadeslong career of the celebrity photographer best known for her Iconic Photos from Studio 54. The film explores the art and the forceful woman who made it. Finally, “Violins of Hope” follows Amnon Weinstein’s quest to restore violins recovered from the Holocaust, and ultimately to keep Jewish music alive. Details and screening times available at sdiff.com.

76 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2016

San Diego Couple Leaves $400 Million to Ben-Gurion University

In Memoriam

Lottie Blumlein Marcus 19 1 6 - 2 0 1 5

Lottie and Dr. Howard Marcus with Philip Gomperts (center) at Ben-Gurion University of the Negev in 2005 for the dedication of the Marcus Family Campus in Beer-Sheva.

he board and staff of American Associates, Longtime San Diego residents Dr. Howard and Lottie Ben-Gurion University of the Negev (AABGU) Marcus each fled Nazi Germany in the are deeply saddened by the loss of our dear friend, 1930s -while they still could -- and immigrated to the United Lottie Blumlein Marcus, an energetic, kind-hearted States. woman"The of valor. Together with herHitler’s belovedGermany late husband Marcuses escaped and lost of 72their years,families," Dr. Howard Marcus, made "They a significant says Philip Lottie Gomperts. came to believe that Negev if Germany ‘the most nation in impact on Israel’s region–through hercivilized magnanimous the world’ – could descend to barbarity and support of Ben-Gurion University of the Negev (BGU).to the mass murder of Jews, it could happen anywhere. A In 2004, they were awarded honorary doctoral degrees by strong and secure State of Israel, they concluded, BGUwould in recognition of their pioneering exceptional have saved their familiesspirit, and was essential philanthropy and dedication to higher education. for the future."

Lottie was just a teenager when Hitler came to power. of the her current University Despite parents’ refusal toendowment. leave Germany,Ten she percent is earmarked for a separate endowment support immigrated alone to New York at the age of 18to and BGU’s world-renowned work in water research at the ultimately became the only surviving member of her family. Zuckerberg Institute for Water Research—Israel’s She was awater young,institute. independent woman working on Wall leading Street a time when that was rare.fortune The skills budding TheatMarcuses earned their asand a result of a relationship with the legendary investor, Benjamin stars she met there paved the way for great investment Graham. Lottieshe worked as Howard, the headanother of the secretarial success. In 1942, married German pool at a major Wall Street firm. She met Graham refugee, and they later moved to San Diego. Despite their through the Wall Street Ski Club in the 1930s. They modest lifestyle, theyfriends became and, noted in philanthropists, Israel became lifelong the early 1960s, supporters and treasured members of about the AABGU family. Graham told Howard and Lottie a student of

The Marcus Campus in Beer-Sheva reflects Gurion Family University of the Negev (BGU) in 1997 after theirmeeting commitment to BGUSouthwest and to the fulfillment of Gomperts, regional director for American Associates, Ben-Gurion University of the David Ben-Gurion’s vision to build a world-class Negevof(AABGU). They became fascinated by the institution education and research in the Negev desert. University's work in desalination and desert farming, Through their longstanding support of BGU’s Zuckerberg among other areas. Institute for Water Research, andcould Howard have to the "They believed thatLottie peace come endowed global breakthroughs in water research and Middle East if water scarcity could be addressed," Gomperts explains.will make a dramatic impact science. Their generosity Lottie Marcus died this of past December at age 99, on the development and growth Ben-Gurion University just two months short of her 100th birthday, while for many years to come.

Lottie will abeprodigy. deeply missed, but her that legacystudent, will be feltWarren in every thought He invited BGU hallway and courtyard; in each andthey laboratory; Buffett, to meet with Howard andclassroom Lottie and put most of their nest egg in Buffett’s new partnership, and by the faculty, students and technicians who will be which later became Berkshire Hathaway. annual touched by her noble-spirited generosity far intoWith the future.

The

Marcuses

became

involved

with

Ben-

his at Columbia Business School, a young man he

compounding that investment grew.

WeWarren extend our profound to her daughter and Buffett says,condolences "I met Howard and Lottie more than 50 years ago -through a mutual our good friend, Ellen Marcus, a BGU board vice chair, and friend,husband, my lifetime Ben Graham. We hit it Ellen’s Harveyhero Malyn; to Lottie’s granddaughter, off and they joined my investment partnership. Jennifer Hillthem, and her husband,asRyan; and to allthat thosethey who Knowing it comes no surprise have beento touched by Lottie’s gentle benevolence. elected use their financial success to enhance

Howard died in 2014 at age 104. The magnanimous the lives of thousands of Israeli young people." T HEY COMFORT AMONG legacy gift they bequeathed to AABGU -- estimated MAY “More thanBE anything else,ED Howard and Lottie were HEsecond MOURNER S OF ANDwere JERUSALEM. to be $400 million when fully received -- is the largest Tlike parents toZION me. They warm, giving, gift ever made on behalf of an Israeli university, and wonderful people and I miss them every single day,” may be the largest donation ever made to benefit says Gomperts. Lloyd Goldman, President any institution in the State of Israel. Ruth Flinkman-Marandy, CampaignaChair The funds will be Southwest used to establish permanent Doron Krakow, Executive Vice President endowment in support of BGU, which will yield endowment assets that more Director than double the size Philip Gomperts, Southwest Regional

Av • Elul 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 77

news EL AL and JetBlue Launch Program to Support Aviation and Travel Start-Ups The technology exploration arm of EL AL Airlines, Cockpit Innovation Hub, and JetBlue’s investment business in August announced the launch of Navigator, an international incubator for start-ups working in the fields of aviation and travel. Noted as the first global innovation center of its kind, Navigator is currently searching for new technologies and advances to existing technologies. Start-ups involved in the program will receive direct access to EL AL and JetBlue and “strategic partners,” initial funding, office space in Israel and the U.S., sales and marketing support, plus technology and legal guidance. Companies selected to participate will work in Israel for three months followed by one month in Silicon Valley where they will present developments to “key players in the global aviation industry.” Alumni may be offered follow-up support for another eight months in the form of workspace and business development mentoring. A press release issued by the partnership notes “the selection process will be based on a rigorous examination of various criteria, the first of which is evidence that the technological development under discussion will lead to meaningful innovation and positive change in the industry.” Interested companies can apply at: cockpitinnovation.com.

Coastal Roots Opens Farm Stand in Encinitas Coastal Roots Farm, on the Leichtag Ranch in Encinitas, has opened a farm stand to sell its produce direct to the public. “At our Farm Stand, no one should feel priced out of buying fresh food for themselves or their families,” remarked Daron “Farmer D” Joffe, director of agricultural innovation and development at Leichtag Foundation, and found director of Coastal Roots Farm. All food grown on the farm is sustainably grown using only biodynamic and organic processes. Currently, more than 50 percent of the Coastal Roots harvest is donated to local food banks and community organizations. The Farm Stand accepts Electronic Benefit Cards for food stamps and is piloting an alternative “pay what you can” system. “Our goal is to share our food with those who need it most,” Farmer D said in a press release. “The Farm Stand is one of the many ways we plan on accomplishing that.” The Farm Stand is open every Thursday from 4-7 p.m., at 441 Saxony Road in Encinitas.

The Men’s Event and Men's Club Dinner Forum Both This Month Jewish Federation of San Diego is back with its Men's Event on Sept. 29 at the San Diego Jewish Academy. This event is free due to the generous support of the Mizel Family Foundation. Bret Stephens, a Pulitzer-Prize winning columnist for the Wall Street Journal who covers Israel and Middle East issues, will be the events speaker. It is a more casual affair, with beer and bbq on the menu. Event chairs are David Bark, Michael Cohen, and Jon Schwartz (who also writes the Older, Better, Wiser column for this magazine). While the event is free, registration is required. Do so at jewishinsandiego.org/mensevent. Also this month, focusing on “Managing Your Money During Retirement,” the Congregation Beth Israel Men’s Club Dinner Forum will welcome David Epstein and Bradley White. On Sept. 21 from 6:30-8:30 p.m., the pair of financial advisors, who co-own Epstein & White Retirement Income Solutions, will discuss how to maximise IRA and 401K funds, plus how Brexit is affecting markets. Men’s Club organizers note that this presentation is intended to be educational and not a solicitation. The program is open to the entire San Diego community, both men and women. Temple membership is not required. Cost is $15 with R.S.V.P. or $18 without. Find more info and register at cbisd.org, email cbimensclub@gmail.com or call (858) 900-2598. 78 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2016

United States Holocaust Memorial Museum Hosts “Two Americans Who Defied the Nazis” at San Diego JCC The United States Holocaust Memorial Museum on Aug. 4 presented “Two Americans Who Defied the Nazis” to more than 200 guests at the Lawrence Family Jewish Community Center in La Jolla. Attending the program, from left, Steven Klappholz, the Museum’s Western Regional Director; Sonia FoxOhlbaum, representing the San Diego Generation of the Shoah; Judi Gottschalk, the Museum’s Western Regional Wings of Memory Society Co-Chair; and Didier Reiss, the Museum’s West Coast-based Collections Acquisition Curator. In early 1939, Waitstill and Martha Sharp, a young Unitarian minister and a social worker, moved to Prague and aided hundreds of refugees fleeing Nazi persecution. Guests learned about the Sharps’ remarkable actions and their collection of personal papers that have been donated to the Museum. Through its national campaign “Never Again: What You Do Matters,” the Museum seeks to make critical investments to keep Holocaust memory alive as a relevant, transformative force in the 21st century. L-R Steven Klappholz, Sonia Fox-Ohlbaum, Judi Gottschalk, and Didier Reiss.

San Diego audiences will have another chance to hear the Sharps’ story, when “Defying the Nazis: The Sharps’ War” screens as part of the GI Film Festival. Find details on that film in our Diversions section on pg. 76. (Photo courtesy of United States Holocaust Memorial Museum)

AARP Policy Advisory and Other November Ballot Notes By now you’ve probably heard warnings about the massive ballots headed our way in November. Some are comparing it to a phone book. Remember those? The state of California has approved 17 propositions, and the city of San Diego put up 12, plus two county referendums to further complicate the ballot. There’s so much on the ballot that the San Diego City Council had to vote on whether or not to publish the full text of certain propositions (those related to the Convention Center expansion and Chargers stadium – they voted to publish the full text, which will land in households as two separate pamphlets). Voice of San Diego, the online nonprofit news source, is hosting Politifest this month, on Sept. 24, to help voters begin to wade through their choices this fall. Held at the Conrad Prebys Aztec Student Union, in partnership with the SDSU School of Journalism and Media Studies, the day-long event features prominent speakers and panel discussions. Find details at voiceofsandiego.org. Getting into the weeds for a moment, AARP has issued a policy statement on California’s Proposition 61. In a news release on Aug. 3, the group formerly called the American Association of Retired Persons noted its support for the so-called California Drug Price Relief Act, which aims to change the rate the state pays for prescription drugs. “Proposition 61 would help to control prescription drug costs for Californians by requiring the State and its agencies, including but not limited to the California Department of Healthcare Services, to enter into agreements with manufacturers of any prescription drugs purchased by the state such that the net cost is the same or less than the lowest price paid for the same drug by the United States Department of Veteran Affairs,” the release stated. California’s Official Voter Information Guide says the fiscal impact of this proposition, if adopted, “may result in a substantial net change in state or local finances.” Those who want to get a jump on their research can find the Voter Information Guide at sos.ca.gov.

JFS Offers Interest-Free Business and Personal Loans Jewish Family Service of San Diego is currently soliciting applications for interest-free loans for personal and business expenses aimed at improving self-sufficiency. The “Hand Up” Loan Program is available for expenses such as education, small business needs, business development, job training, car purchases or repairs, and refugee and immigration resettlement. Loan amount maximums range from $3,000 to $7,500, and approval takes an average of three weeks. Upon closing, applicants have up to 36 months to repay the loan by making monthly payments. To qualify, applicants must live in San Diego County and have a verifiable source of income. For loans up to $3,000, applicants must have one cosigner. For loans $3,001 to $7,500, two cosigners are required. All co-signers must live in Southern California. To learn more and apply, visit jfssd.org/loan or call (858) 637-3210.

Av • Elul 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 79

SYNAGOGUE LIFE ISRAEL IN SAN DIEGO Operation Thunderbolt: The Raid on Entebbe at Chabad of Poway Sept. 11, 6:30 p.m. IDF-vet Sassy Reuven will speak with Chabad of Poway about his involvement in Operation Thunderbolt in July of 1976, when the Israeli government rescued Jewish hostages held in Uganda. Visit chabadpoway.com/entebbe for details and to R.S.V.P. Israel Discovery Session: “Special in Uniform with Tiran Attia” at Congregation Beth Israel Sept. 25, 9:30 a.m. In association with the Jewish National Fund, CBI will host a “brunch and learn” to highlight the Israeli model of inclusion in the IDF, championed by the group Special in Uniform.

SHABBAT SERVICES Music to welcome Shabbat at Temple Beth Shalom Every Friday, 7 p.m.; Sept. 24 features Yale Strom 208 Madrona St. Chula Vista, CA 91910

SPECIAL EVENTS

Annual Labor Day BBQ with Congregation Beth Am Monday, Sept. 5, 11 a.m. Ashley Falls Park, 5050 Del Mar Heights Rd. San Diego, CA 92130

Speed Schmoozing at Tifereth Israel Saturday, Sept. 24, noon 6660 Cowles Mountain Blvd. San Diego CA 92064

Shabbat Unplugged at Congregation Beth El Friday, Sept. 16, 6:15 p.m. 8660 Gilman Dr. La Jolla CA 92037

Wisdom of the Second Half of Life discussion at Temple Emanu-El Wednesday, Sept. 24, 6 p.m. 6299 Capri Dr. San Diego CA 92120

Back to School Family Shabbat at Ner Tamid Friday, Sept. 9, 6:30 p.m. 15318 Pomerado Rd. Poway CA 92064 80 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2016

*Interested in having your event featured? Contact assistant@sdjewishjournal.com. Submissions are due by 15th of the month for the next issue.

ROSH HASHANAH fun 5777 WORD FIND

Rosh Hashanah is observed on the first two days of Tishrei. Rosh Hashanah literally means “Head of the Year” as it marks the beginning of the Jewish year. It is actually the anniversary of mankind, the day that HaShem created Adam and Chava. The primary theme of the day is to accept HaShem as King. The central mitzvah of Rosh Hashanah is the sounding of the shofar, the ram's horn. The shofar is sounded on both days of Rosh Hashanah, but it is not sounded on Shabbat. The sound of the shofar represents the trumpet blast when people proclaim their king, as well as a call for teshuva (repentance). The day is the first of the “Ten Days of Repentance” which ends on Yom Kippur. The shofar is blasted 100 times. The traditional greeting on Rosh Hashanah is "May you be inscribed and sealed for a good year". It is also customary to go to a body of water and symbolically cast our sins into it and recite Tashlich prayers. On Rosh Hashanah, candles are lit each night and Kiddush is said at the evening and daytime meals.

Can you discover the Secret Message? Find and circle the bold, italicized words from the Rosh Hashanah summary in the Word Find. Write the unused Word Find letters in the spaces below to spell the Secret Message. Have Fun!

M R O S H E Y D O U

B E

C R A T

B E D Y

A R N N A D E

E A

Which one is different? Hint: Rosh Hashana PRAYER

TESHUVA

ROSH CHODESH

HALLEL

SHOFAR

CROSSWORD Complete the crossword by translating each Hebrew word into English. Use the reference from Parsha Bereishit, read on Rosh Hashanah, for help.

ACROSS

4 5 6 7

O N S

N G R

E D E R

C H A V A F

H H

T O R Y

M G B

L L

A S

R A S D G

A O O S O U N D E O A O D D Y O B O T L

H B

S O D A R M E

E C

A L

SECRET MESSAGE

___ ___ __ _________ ___ ______ ___ _ ____ ____

YOM TERUAH

spot the difference

A C H A Y W

1. ‫( זרע‬21:12) 2. ‫( משתה‬21:8) 5. ‫( שמע‬21:6) 6. ‫( רב‬21:34) 7. ‫( באר‬21:19)

DOWN

1. ‫( שבע‬21:23) 3. ‫( היום‬21:26) 4. ‫( שבע‬21:28)

gematria

Hint: A sound the Shofar makes.

‫ד‬ +‫א‬

‫רי‬ ÷‫ג‬

‫כו‬ - ‫טז‬

‫ס‬ +‫מ‬

‫ד‬ x‫ק‬ ‫ת‬

‫א ב ג ד ה ו ז ח ט י כ ל מ נ ס ע פ צ ק ר ש ת‬ 400 300 200 100 90 80 70 60 50 40 30 20 10

WORD CMRLESAB

RFEIONFG ________ BLMA ____

NBDI ____ SETT ____

(scramble)

ENALG _____ RTAAL _____

Hint: The Binding of Yitzchak

CANDLELIGHTING IN JERUSALEM 5:43 P.M. weekly chinuch podcast - about 150 posted! parsha + chinuch < 5 minutes www.thefamousabba.com/podcasts

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Av • Elul 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 81

ASK MARNIE

by Marnie Macauley

ADVICE asksadie@aol.com

Career Vs. Commitment Can career and relationship commitments co-exist? You bet. But it’s often a rocky road and requires being truthful with ourselves. Let’s look. HEARTS AND CRAFTS Marnie: I’m a 25-year-old woman with serious ambitions. Ever since college I’ve put career over relationships because a.) my career requires me to move every year or so, b.) I’m not that interested at the moment. My parents, their friends, and other family tell me I’m making a mistake and should join Jewish dating sites and settle down. They claim that in 10 years I’ll regret not having a family of my own if I don’t start getting serious now. What do you think? – Single and Satisfied MARNIE SAYS: I think you should light a match to those odious books, sites, and mags featuring dating lists, rules and commandments. Listen peanut, it’s hard enough to get a career leg up without ripping your pantyhose on the jagged glass ceiling. Heck mamala, I know of no nobler pursuit than following your passion! Despite the family, the friends, the fear and the mad magazoid-mumblings, we can’t always “have it all” – all the time. If your present mission requires you to keep your options open to commune with Arctic wolves one year and swampy crocs the next, or spend your days and nights buried in books while blissfully contemplating the fantastic possibilities of your craft, your choice to solo for now is not only sane, it is the decent thing to do! 3 CHEERS FOR EMOTIONAL I.Q. Dear Marnie: I have always been the brightest person in school and now in my profession. (My I.Q. is 155.) But,when I date, I find either the girl isn’t smart enough, or, if she is, I become very competitive. I have high ambitions and want a partner who can keep up, but I do want to find that special someone. Any suggestions? – High Minded 82 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2016

MARNIE SAYS: Pookie, rip up those test scores. They’ve messed around with the rest of you. The total you. In sum, your I.Q. is both a blessing and a curse. You want to up your blessing ratio. Somewhere along the way you were accorded genius status on all fronts. The truth is, even little Einsteins who have excess grey matter may lack emotional maturity. And you, friend, sound like such a victim. Here’s what I’d do: 1. You can’t love if your brain and maturity are miles apart. More, you can’t keep someone special if your ego is invested in competing, rather than loving. Lovers need to be partners. If you’re still looking to be Alpha Dog, you’re not ready. 2. Work as hard at developing your emotional skills as you do “proving” your smarts. Honey, as you grow, you’ll learn there are lots of brilliant people out there. Your intelligence is a gift, but even the most valuable gifts have to be used with judgment and compassion. Quit hanging onto some I.Q. test you took in fifth grade. Relationships require you be willing to fail. You will learn to try, fail and try again. And that is equally important as any test score. AGING BEAUTY Dear Marnie: I am 38, female, with a great career, my own home and a satisfying social life with friends, many of whom are, like me, Modern Orthodox. One issue remains. I find it really difficult to date. I’m often deemed too aggressive, too assertive, too independent to be a reasonably good life partner. I don’t want to play kid games. But on the other hand, I’m sick of losing out to women who are nubile, needy, with baggage I got rid of ages ago. – Peri-menopausal on the Periphery

MARNIE SAYS: Come listen to a story about one peri-menopauser who blew a 45-yearold Daddy Warbucks off his bar stool. Ms. Brenda Pinchik was at a trendy watering hole when she spotted a Silver Fox with a nymphet younger than the bubbles in his Crystal. The legal-aged Lolita was giggling at him in “text-speak.” The lovely Ms. Pinchik, (who enhances her “nice-but-no beauty” looks by designer resale frocks, a luscious “do,” and magnificent ’tude), waited for “womanchild” to go potty, and, with a wink in her voice, said, “A sophisticate like you must find it a challenge talking to a young blossom who thinks the Chicago Seven is a heavy metal band.” Then she flashed him enough smoke to fog up his Saint Laurent shades. Silver Fox returned during intermission — alone — to get Ms. Pinchik’s number. She refused. Think Pinchik. You don’t want the cradlerobbers or gray-groupies. They’re both halfbaked. You want the good ones. Tell yourself, “Tis my season!” Could you be a more perfect age? (OK, we’re all a perfect age.) But the 30s are glorious! You have a sharp wit, my PM-er. Marnie’s First Rule of Magnetism: Know thy customer. Enough men like “smart.” Most like sensual. All hate “scared.” Dating is all about personal marketing. Find balance. Don’t down your I.Q. Raise your other lively assets. Look fetching. Put your best heels forward while telling a man about a fascinating stock that didn’t crash. That’s a turn on. So is sublime humor, and a little mischief. Be you. Package well. Offer up an emotional challenge with warmth. Show ’em your sweet soul beneath the grit. Let yourself be a little unguarded, vulnerable, quixotic, and yes, mysterious. A

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Harry Weinrib-Blossom Valley, CA 03/28/1939-06/01/2016 Survivors: Wife - Eileen Weinrib, Daughter- Rebecca weinrib & Katherina Kheder Sons- Peter & Benjamin Weinrib & 1 Grandchild Helen Frankel-Escondido, CA 03/13/1920-06/02/2016 Daughter- Ileen Akers Howard Glen-Huntington Beach, CA 08/06/1927-06/03/2016 Survivors: Wife - Ruth Glenn, Daughters - Lauren Carmadella & Greta Campbell, Son -Gordon Gelnn, 6 Grandchildren & 2 Great Grandchildren Leonard Lobel-Escondido, CA 01/16/1936-06/02/2016 Survivors: Wife - Jackie Lobel, Daughter - Sheri Haupt , SonsGary, Scott, Randall & Craig Lobel, 16 Grandchildren & 5 Greatgrandchildren Sara Geller-Encinitas , CA 12/20/1917-06/04/2016 Survivors: Daughters - Audrey Glickson & Ruth Gold, 7 Grandchildren & 8 Great- Grandchildren

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Max Fuchs-Poway , CA 02/16/1920-06/12/2016 Survivors: Niece - Sonia Fox-Ohlbaum Magdaline Livingston-San Diego, CA 02/04/1922-06/12/2016 Survivors: Daughters- Susan & Elissa Manheimer , Son - Gene Manheimer & 2 Grandchildren Hilliard Goldwyn-San Diego, CA 08/29/1967-06/13/2016 Survivors: Parents - Boyd & Louise Goldwyn David Revak-San Diego, CA 04/29/1936-06/17/2016 Survivors: Wife - Susan Revak, Sons - Eric, Paul & Kelly Revak & 5 Grandchildren Pauline Green-San Diego , CA 05/12/1933-06/19/2016 Survivors: Daughters- Alissa Messian & Marilyn Greenblat & 3 Grandchildren Daisy Saddick-Los Angeles , CA 03/25/1921-06/20/2016 Survivors: Daughter - Guilda Nehora & Sons- Shaul & Sasson Saddick

Beatrice Casner-Escondido , CA 03/13/1929-06/22/2016 Survivors: Daughter- Ruth Novak, Sons - Mark & Seth Casner, 6 Grandchildren & 3 GreatGrandchildren Guy Mathews-San Diego , CA 06/11/1959-06/22/2016 Survivors: Mother - Jacqueline Mathews Stuart Gruber-Del Mar, CA 04/25/1941-06/22/2016 Survivors: Daughter- Robin Gruber & Son- Randy Gruber Muriel Beyer-Poway, CA 08/20/1929-06/23/2016 Survivors: Daughter- Deborah Beyer Ann Corre-San Diego, CA 12/06/1950-06/22/2016 Survivors: Husband - Merritt Corren Gerald Gilberg-San Diego , CA 10/22/1925-05/27/2016 Survivors: Wife - Marcia Gilberg, Daughters - Valerie Friedman & Jody Porter, Sons- Jay & Bradley Gilberg & 4 Grandchildren

Av • Elul 5776 | SDJewishJournal.com 83

EVENTS

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619 981 4704

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JEWISH COMMUNITY Welcoming babies and families to San Diego’s Jewish Community ARE YOU EXPECTING A BABY OR DO YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO IS? Shalom Baby is an innovative program designed for San Diego families to celebrate the arrival of their Jewish newborns to affiliated, non-affiliated and inter-married families as a welcome to the San Diego Jewish Community.

To receive your Shalom BaBy BaSkeT and for informaTion conTacT: San Diego .............. Judy Nemzer • 858.362.1352 • shalombaby@lfjcc.org North County......... Vivien Dean • 858.357.7863 • shalombabyncounty@lfjcc.org www.lfjcc.org/shalombaby • www.facebook.com/shalombabypjlibrarysandiego Lawrence Family Jewish Community Center, JACOBS FAMILY CAMPUS, Mandell Weiss Eastgate City Park, 4126 Executive Drive, La Jolla, CA 92037-1348

Serving Cuban-American Food Est. 1976

NOW SERVING LUNCH AND DINNER Open Daily: 11am - 10pm

PALM SPRINGS (760) 325-2127 1596 N. Palm Canyon Drive • Palm Springs, CA 92262

JUDY NEMZER Shalom Baby/PJ Library Coordinator l

Direct Line: (858) 362-1352 E-mail: littlemensches@gmail.com www.lfjcc.org/shalombaby/littlemensches l

Lawrence Family Jewish Community Center JACOBS FAMILY CAMPUS 4126 Executive Drive • La Jolla, CA 92037-1348

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