Prime Time February 2016 by AIM Media Indiana

PRIME TIME February 2016

Dale Sechrest A musical journey Nancy Conner | Stock market patience | Laura and Dan Davis | Losing a pet

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Editor’s note

What matters is not whether we will face challenges in life. We will. And what matters is not whether we will get knocked down in life. We will, probably more than once. At some point in our lives, maybe several points, each of us will be “thrown for a loop,” as my mother used to say. We will be faced with changes we don’t want, challenges we would just as soon not have to face, or the loss of someone irreplaceable. In fact, if you’re in the Prime Time demographic, it’s almost certain that you have been “thrown for a loop” — or loops — by now. What matters is how we respond to these challenges, changes and losses that test us. What matters is whether we get up or give up. That’s why I find the Columbus residents profiled in this edition of Prime Time so inspirational. Dale Sechrest, Nancy Conner and Laura and Dan Davis have all faced changes, challenges and/or loss. They were all “thrown for a loop” in one way or another. And even when it would have been easy to give up, they all got up. Dale Sechrest and Nancy Conner lost their spouses. Dan and Laura Davis needed to reinvent themselves after they decided to close their family music store. As you’ll read, they all went through changes, some good and some bad. And they’ve all come out on the other side. If you asked any of these folks, I bet they would tell you that through dealing with their changes, challenges and losses, they discovered that they are stronger than they thought they were. I think that’s an important lesson for all of us. Ideally, it’s a lesson we would learn before we are faced with a life-changing event. For many of us, one of life’s more difficult things to face is the loss of a beloved pet. Especially for those of us whose children are grown and gone, pets can become our closest companions. When we are forced to say goodbye to a cherished dog or cat, the loss can be traumatic. In this issue, you’ll find some advice to help you cope when it comes time to say goodbye. I hope you enjoy these articles and everything else in this spring issue of Prime Time. C’mon, spring!

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contents 4 6 10 12 16 18 22 24 26 28 32

This & That Dale Sechrest Avoiding caregiver burnout Nancy Conner

After retirement, what’s next? Laura and Dan Davis Declutter the house

Investing for retirement Losing a pet Calendar of events Sharon Mangas column

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Forest Path 24

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Comments should be sent to Doug Showalter, The Republic, 333 Second St., Columbus, IN 47201 or call 812-379-5625 or dshowalter@therepublic.com. Advertising information: Call 812-379-5652. ©2016 by AIM Media Indiana. All rights reserved. Reproduction of stories, photographs and advertisements without permission is prohibited. Stock images provided by © iStock.

Lutheran Community Home, Inc. On the cover: Dale Sechrest | photo by Carla Clark

111 Church Ave., Seymour, IN 47274 www.LutheranCommHome.org

(812) 522-5927

PRIME TIME • FEBRUARY 2016 • 3

this

That All lotions are not equal

Transition help

A new state law that took effect Jan. 1 will ease transitions from hospital to home for patients and their caregivers. The Caregiver Advice, Record, Enable (CARE) Act allows every hospital patient in Indiana to designate a family caregiver. Hospital staff are encouraged to inform the caregiver about discharge plans if the patient cannot and to explain to the caregiver any medical tasks that will be needed at home, such as managing medications or dressing wounds. Preparing caregivers for patients’ transitions from hospital to home could prevent costly readmissions. To request a wallet-sized card about the CARE Act, go to action.aarp.org/INCareCard.

Dry hands can seem an inevitable part of winter. But keeping a few things in mind while choosing lotions can help keep your skin moisturized. Dr. Bethanee Schlosser, a fellow of the American Academy of Dermatology, says to target lotions that moisturize and protect the skin. People might be hesitant to use a thicker lotion, assuming it will be greasy, she said. But a thicker cream or ointment, something that “feels a little bit heavier,” is best. Look for a skin-protecting ingredient, like dimethicone, and something that will attract moisture, like glycerine. Some people opt to use coconut oil or olive oil, maybe under gloves overnight. Shea is another option, but a concern for those with nut allergies. Products Schlosser mentioned that have these ingredients include Eucerin Intensive Repair Hand Creme and Neutrogena’s Norwegian Formula Hand Cream. Other precautions include dialing down the temperature of water, avoiding exposure to chemicals and always wearing gloves. And beware if hands are damp. — Tribune News Service

Chaos is a good thing

Are your grandchildren fascinated by Jean Tinguely’s “Chaos I” sculpture inside The Commons? Are you? On Feb. 23, “The Most Chaotic Tuesday,” you and your grandchildren will have the chance to learn more about the popular kinetic sculpture plus see it operate in all its glory. The sculpture will be fully operational from 5 to 6:30 p.m. A free program starts at 6:30 and features short films about Tinguely’s creation, followed by a discussion about how he fabricated the piece. For more information, call 812-376-2681.

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this

That

Book Reviews “The Road to Little Dribbling: Adventures of an American in Britain,” by Bill Bryson (Doubleday)

ill Bryson has pulled off quite a trick in his decades of travel writing. With every book, he manages to make readers wish they could go for a walk with him, while he secretly wants nothing more than to be left alone. “The Road to Little Dribbling” finds Bryson in his adopted Britain, revisiting some of the places he wrote about more than 20 years ago in “Notes From a Small Island” and discovering new features of “the world’s largest park, its most perfect accidental garden.” There seem to be two Brysons on the journey — call them Angry Man Bryson and the other Grandpa Bryson. Angry Man sometimes distracts from the narrative, ranting against “young men with gel in their hair,” but then Grandpa surfaces to enjoy an “excellent cup of coffee with a free small biscuit” in Ironbridge. Bryson writes throughout about how remarkable Britain is — if you tried to visit all the medieval churches, at the rate of one a week, it would take you 308 years, for example — but also spends lots of pages railing against the ways the country is becoming like everywhere else, from train passengers gabbing on cellphones to the disappearance of fishmongers and independent bookstores. What makes the book an ultimately enjoyable way to pass a few hours is Bryson’s omnipresent sense of humor. The guy just sees the absurd in everything and has a knack for communicating it in words. — Associated Press

“The Bitter Season,” by Tami Hoag (Dutton)

n Minneapolis, it is the bitter season that permeates everyone and everything with its “raw cold and gray skies, knifing winds.” It’s also a bitter season for crime detection as best-selling author Tami Hoag proves in her highly entertaining “The Bitter Season.” In this fifth novel featuring Minneapolis detectives Nikki Liska and Sam Kovac, Hoag builds a multi-layered plot populated by seemingly unrelated characters that showcases her talents when each aspect of “The Bitter Season” elegantly intersects. Longtime police partners are now assigned to different divisions, mainly because Nikki requests a transfer to the newly funded cold case department so she could control her hours and spend more time with her teenage sons. Both did their best detective work together, each bringing a different insight and skills to their cases. Nikki’s first case seems insurmountable—the 25-year-old murder of a sex crimes detective shot in his own yard. Sam and his new partner are assigned the murder of a university professor and his wife who were killed by a samurai sword. As the detectives follow their separate cases, the former partners also regularly meet to chat and exchange ideas. The merging of the different plot points, including that of a young mother, adds to the superior suspense of “The Bitter Season.” Unlike other series, Hoag fashions her tales about Nikki and Sam to be read as stand-alone novels. New readers will instantly understand the detectives’ dynamics in “The Bitter Season,” though those just discovering the series probably will want to read the others. —Tribune News Service PRIME TIME • FEBRUARY 2016 • 5

Running toward the

light What a long strange journey it’s been for Dale Sechrest and his music

By Barney Quick n photos by Carla Clark

ale Sechrest’s road has not been easy. However, well-lit way stations have appeared just when the trail seemed the darkest. When he’d approach one, exhausted and riddled with doubt, he’d get instructions about how to proceed. They usually involved picking up his guitar. This has led to two major bursts of musical activity, each characterized by a well-produced album and a following that has turned out to see him perform the album’s material live. In the late 1990s, he released “Speed of Light,” some tracks of which enjoyed airplay. In 2015, he released “The Journey,” which has reignited the interest of old fans and increased his fan base. “The Journey” was recorded at The Lodge studio in Indianapolis. It was produced by veteran record producer and multi-instrumentalist (and Columbus native) Michael Clark. The crew of top-flight session musicians who played on the record backed Sechrest in person at a CD release party at Yes Cinema in downtown Columbus in November. The album is enjoying notable online sales, as well as sales of the physical version. Sechrest is booking some dates in the greater Columbus area, where he will offer solo treatments of the album’s material. Music’s been his consuming passion since getting a guitar for Christmas at age 13. He recalls Columbus North High School English teacher Dennis Lindsay frequently asking him to play for his class.

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Dale Sechrest performs at Yes Cinema with, from left, Michael Clark, guitar; Terence Mayhue, drums; Steve Dokken, bass; and Troye Kinnett, keyboard. | submitted photo Current Indiana Gov. Mike Pence was a classmate of Sechrest’s, and in their senior year, Pence organized a talent show. Sechrest played in it, and after his performance, Pence put his hands on his shoulders and said, “Do you hear that response?” After graduating in 1977, he gave some consideration to pursuing the vocational-drafting field, “but a guy at Cummins told me that the field was being automated. So I thought, well, what else can I do?’” He chose music, playing anywhere he could find, including street corners. He called Jim Gerard, host of a television program on Channel 4 in Indianapolis, and asked what was required to audition for a spot. At his mother’s urging, he sang “Grandma’s Feather Bed” at his audition. He was eventually on Gerard’s show “about a dozen times.” He married the first time at age 20. It was a painful experience, and by the time his son was 4, he was in the midst of a divorce. Not being present as a father weighed on him greatly. “One evening, I felt compelled to turn on the TV, and an evangelist named Dwight Thompson was the first image I saw. He said, ‘I want you to pray with me.’ I found myself praying for Christ to come into my life. That night changed me. The immediate change was that all the heaviness was lifted. The circumstances didn’t change, but my attitude did.” 8 • FEBRUARY 2016 • PRIME TIME

Interestingly, he “let music go” upon embarking on a serious faith life. He returned to it when asked to fill in as music leader at The Lighthouse in Shelbyville, the church he began attending. Then he moved to Bloomington, and it was his faith life that took a back seat. “In the process of living and working there, I fell away from it. I tried various ways to fill the void, but none of them could resolve my unhappiness.” Both the faith and music levels of his life were reawakened in 1995, when he was approached by the owner of The Trolley, a Nashville establishment, about playing. “It took me back to where I’d started,” says Sechrest. The creative juices were flowing again. He took an acoustic version of a song he’d written for his father, called “Best of Friends,” to radio station WWWY, where DJ Dennis Rediker gave it airplay. “It wasn’t long until I was recording ‘Speed of Light,’” he says. “I knew of [guitarist] Jerry Mihay and [bassist] Greg Hedges, and enlisted them. Through connections at a local studio, I met Jim Ryser, who contributed some vocals to the title track. When it was done, a couple of local stations put the title track in rotation.”

Sechrest leads The Cross of Hope worship service. Accompanying him on drums is Connor Wilson.

Even the relationship level of his life was in bloom again. “I started dating Beth Thayer, and after a couple of years we got married and had a beautiful baby boy,” he says. He had the chance to be a father again. Then his wife developed health issues and passed away. “I was back in the darkness and couldn’t see any way out,” he says. “I had to give my 1-year-old son the impression that everything was OK. After a few months, a minister suggested we start meeting on a weekly basis. My mom set aside her CPA business and watched my son, Andrew, while I ran my antique bookstore in downtown Columbus.” He became worship leader at Garden City Church of Christ. “I was in the praise band. The pastor, Hywel Thomas, introduced me to Julie Ferguson, the pianist. We fell in love and got married. When I proposed, Andrew was with me and said, ‘We want to marry you.’” They’ve been together for 11 years. The initial stirrings for his latest burst of musical activity began when Dennis Aud, pastor at Westside Community Church, called him in January 2015 about doing a concert in the church coffee shop. “I had about a month to rehearse, and I needed every bit of it. That made me start picking up the guitar for sheer enjoyment again.”

He linked up with Michael Clark through his older brother, David. “I sent him some ‘Speed of Light’ songs and some new material.” He says it was a very different process from his first album. “We recorded each instrument for ‘The Journey’ on separate tracks.” Sechrest says he learned a great deal from Clark, such as detecting and eliminating squeaks when his fingers would move on his guitar strings. “He’d say, ‘I don’t want to hear that.’ He was very much in charge of the sessions.” He used the crowdfunding site Indiegogo to finance that project. “I was astonished,” he says. “Within a couple of weeks, I’d amassed a lot of money. People I didn’t even know started sharing it.” His son, Andrew, who is taking a photography class at Columbus East High School, developed the cover concept. It shows Sechrest, guitar slung behind him, trekking up a fretboard. Jerry Mihay has stayed in touch and observed Sechrest’s return to music. “I’m glad to see him active again. I’ve always had a lot of confidence in his songs.” Aud, who first got to know Sechrest when they were neighbors 16 years ago, describes him as “a gentle spirit. He’s very attuned to music being God’s gift to him. In conversation, he’s very mild-mannered, but his stage presence is very dynamic.” Sechrest says, “I don’t think I subscribe to the adage that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. It seems to me we have two options, to run toward God or away from him. If you run to him, you can look others on similar journeys in the eye and truthfully tell them it gets better.” PT

Sechrest speaks with pastor Andy Kilps before The Cross of Hope service. PRIME TIME • FEBRUARY 2016 • 9

caregiver burnout

Be careful of

By Barton Goldsmith n Tribune News Service

f you’ve ever been the caretaker of a loved one, or even if you are a professional in the field, it’s a tough job, and you have to learn a few tricks to give the other person and yourself the care you both deserve. I’m currently the caretaker for a loved one in hospice. It’s pretty much a 24/7 job, but right now I can be there for her and I’m going to embrace every moment we have together. But the truth is I’m tired. Daily morning runs to the doctor for injections, trying to find something she’ll eat, cleaning up after her. I’ve become numb to most of it. Being woken at all hours has turned into just napping any chance I get. Getting up before 6 a.m. is not why I became a writer. One of the ways I give myself a mini vacation is to imagine being in the south of France, drinking champagne and laughing. The pressure of watching a loved

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one die and taking on the task of caring for that individual really means that you are giving up at least part of, if not most of, your life. You now come second, and any seasoned caregiver will tell you to put your own oxygen mask on first, but when it comes to a loved one, that rule can get overlooked. One thing that helps is being around other positive people, doing simple fun things like having dinner. I enjoy that kind of energy and get nurtured through it. What works best for me is when other people come by and hang out, so I don’t have to leave my loved one, and they can also say hello and bring her a little love and good energy. Times like these make the process of being a caregiver much easier. There will be times when it feels like it’s too much. You may even have thoughts that you’d wish the person you are caring for would just pass peacefully,

and then you feel guilty. This happens because you are overwhelmed and perhaps approaching burnout. Now is when it’s really important to take care of yourself, so you can continue taking care of the one who needs you. There are support groups for caregivers. Call your local hospital and ask if they can recommend any in your area. The Internet can also be very helpful. You can keep a journal to get your feelings out. You can post on Facebook or blog to release some of your stress, and getting positive feedback will help keep you strong. Remember that you are doing an amazing thing here. You have given up much of your life to care for a person who is almost ready to leave. This is a gift to both of you, but it is one that takes a lot of energy, so brace yourself and find ways to get the support you need to keep going. This is not an easy process; there are tears and laughter and a wild ride with someone who may be bedridden. But the gift you are giving will come back to you. By caring for another, you are being your best self, and the other person is getting the help she deserves. It’s all good. Just remember to take care of yourself. PT

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Fol

d i h ff a t e r a g e n p t n i w lo Nancy Conner used faith and perseverance to move past grief

By Sharon Mangas n photos by April Knox

n the summer of 1962, irreverent prankster Bill Conner of Columbus met prim and proper Nancy Kamman from Seymour. They were an unlikely pair. Exact opposites in most people’s eyes. But they clicked immediately. Bill, a recent Columbus High graduate, was in Seymour visiting friends. He’d run away from home, mad at his parents. Nancy was ready to start her junior year at Seymour High. “I’d been dating an all-American type guy, and my widowed mother was not happy when I took an interest in Bill … in fact, she was horrified,” says Nancy, laughing at the memory. Bill and Nancy defied the odds, fell in love and married when Nancy graduated from college in 1968. A job opportunity for Bill took the young couple to Georgia, where he later earned a law degree at Atlanta’s John Marshall Law School. They returned to Columbus in 1980 when Bill was asked to join his father’s law practice. Two sons, Travis and Logan, came along. Life was busy and fulfilling. After their boys left home, Nancy and Bill spent most of their free time at their cottage on Lutheran Lake, where fishing, boating and relaxation ruled. “We always thought we’d grow old and grumpy together,” says Nancy. But on Good Friday in 2007, the dream of growing old together was dashed. Bill died suddenly at age 62 from an abdominal aneurysm. Nancy was thrust, without warning, into a new life. Her first steps toward healing came from attending a Grief Share class at her church, St. Peter’s Lutheran in Columbus.

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Nancy Conner plays pickleball with Barbara Kaiser at Foundation For Youth. “The first two or three months after Bill died, I was at a standstill,” says Nancy. “I thought I was doing well, but deep down, I was struggling. I learned the value of keeping a grief journal during that class. I journaled almost every day for six months. I wrote in it as if I was writing to Bill. That was my outlet for dealing with grief. “Even today, I still write in it, particularly on anniversary dates and holidays. On the one-year anniversary of Bill’s death, I reread 14 • FEBRUARY 2016 • PRIME TIME

my journal and was shocked. I didn’t realize how much I was struggling, but it was all there in words.” Nancy immersed herself in her job as autism coordinator for Bartholomew Consolidated School Corp. (She retired last summer after heading the program for 15 years.) She often worked 60+ hours a week. “I loved working with individuals with autism. We’ve come so far in 15 years. Students with

autism are such unique individuals,” she says. Her dedication is legendary. Parent Lisa Wyrick sings her praises. “Nancy worked with my daughter, Stephanie,” says Wyrick. “Her passion for children with autism shines through. She was dedicated to improving their lives and was a never-ending source of information for parents. She took time to provide emotional support. Sometimes just getting through the day is difficult for our families.”

George Van Horn, director of special education for BCSC, values her work highly. “Nancy was the first autism coordinator for BCSC. Under her leadership, our program has become the finest in the state. Nancy is the best autism coordinator I’ve ever worked with, not only in Indiana, but around the country.” Outside of work, Nancy’s friendships and her faith sustained her during the most difficult times. She’s an active member of St.

Peter’s and is a group leader for Bible Study Fellowship, an intensive non-denominational weekly Bible study program. “I’ve grown more emotionally and spiritually through BSF leadership than anything else. I really credit that support group,” she says. “When challenges hit me now, it’s truly my faith that carries me through.” Dating after Bill’s death never entered her mind. “At first, I didn’t even consider it,” she says. Her resolve eventually softened after meeting Steve Fushelberger at church. “Steve kept asking me out,” says Nancy, “and I turned him down every time. After a year, he asked me point-blank why I kept refusing his invitations, and I told him I wasn’t ready for a relationship. He looked at me — puzzled — and said, ‘Nancy, I’m not asking for a relationship, I’m just asking you for a date.’” With the pressure off, she tentatively stepped back into dating. She and Fushelberger have been going out for several years now. “It was awkward at first,” says Nancy. “In the beginning, I’d hurry into the house after an outing and shut the door. Steve told me he’d never had a screen door slammed in his face so many times! We still laugh about it.” Nancy says Steve’s personality is very different from Bill’s, but she reminds friends and family that she wasn’t trying to replace Bill. “Steve is a kind and considerate person, and very understanding. We have an active social life, and through him I’ve met a whole new circle of wonderful friends. He brings joy to my life, as Bill did, just in a very different way.” Son Logan lives in Columbus, and he and his wife are a great support to Nancy. Granddaughter Gwyn, 4, is the apple of her grandma’s eye. “Grandchildren are such

a blessing,” she says. Now that she’s retired, she also has more time to visit with son Travis and family in Jackson, Mississippi. She loves being with her ‘Southern’ grandchildren, Will, 7, and Caroline, 6. In retirement, Nancy plans to continue volunteering her expertise to autism groups. A homebody at heart, she has no big bucket list to fulfill. She’d rather spend her time with family and at her cabin on Lutheran Lake. She loves to exercise. She and Steve recently became pickleball aficionados.

“My life is different now. It’s not a bad different; it’s just different. You’ve got to embrace change when a loved one dies. You have to move on.” — Nancy Conner

Reflecting on her new life, Nancy says it’s a combination of perseverance, patience and faith that have brought her through. “My life is different now. It’s not a bad different; it’s just different. You’ve got to embrace change when a loved one dies. You have to move on. I still think about Bill every day, but the world keeps going. I take the challenges God gives me and grow from them,” she says. “I know there’s a plan.” PT PRIME TIME • FEBRUARY 2016 • 15

By Diane Stafford n The Kansas City Star (TNS) his is mainly a guy thing, but it affects women too. They retire, perhaps earlier than expected, and haven’t a clue about how to go about living the rest of their lives. Mickie Schroeder and Jeff Jans took early retirements in April 2008, got married in May 2008 and by September 2008 were sitting on their deck wondering what’s next. They were in their mid-50s and didn’t plan to retire in the traditional sense. They weren’t ready. From their own searching, they created a business called BOOMERangs…Circle Back to Your Dreams, in which they counsel others who need to find something fulfilling to replace their job-related identity. “You need to rediscover who you are without your profession hanging over you,” Jans said. “We’ve found that’s especially hard for men, to separate their identity from what they did.” Schroeder, whose mother is 95, expects to fill many future years with activity. But she didn’t want it to be 16 • FEBRUARY 2016 • PRIME TIME

mindless busywork or endless leisure. When she and Jans looked for “what’s next,” they settled on developing a program to help others answer the question. Their business model counsels retirees and nearretirees through three phases, described as “take a break from your career,” “take a productive pause” and “make a fresh start.” The steps are useful for financial advisers, career and life coaches, or even for individuals to think through their futures. In the first phase, we “look at people’s perceptions of retirement, try to help them let go of their work identity and figure out who they really are,” Schroeder said. In the second phase, they administer assessments and do activities to help their clients identify what they’re good at, what they’ve tried to do in the past and liked, and what they’ve never tried but are interested in and come up with “both wild and feasible possibilities,” she said. Working with a retired nuclear engineer, they meshed his seemingly disparate interests in horses

JOIN US AT MILL RACE CENTER and children with disabilities with volunteer work at a ranch that provides equestrian services for such children. He’s since set up a trust fund to buy hay for the ranch — activities that provided meaning to otherwise directionless days. In the third phase, Schroeder and Jans said they serve as “a safety net” to support people as they try new things. “We don’t find a job for them, but we support them as they do their own exploration,” she said. Since beginning their new work lives, they said they’ve found the people most in need of thoughtful assistance are those who retired in their 50s and early 60s and still need major outlets — perhaps for money, perhaps not. “We also find with couples, when one retires and the other doesn’t, the husbands particularly drive their (working) wives crazy,” Schroeder said. “They start reorganizing the spice rack. We’ve found that they may have talked about the financial aspects of retirement, but not so much about how to spend their time.” Jans said that’s time for “purposeful thinking.” PT

Afternoon for Arts Fourth Friday at 2:00pm Live performances and desserts. $5 MRC member / $10 non-member Reservation Required Sponsored by: Miller Merry Manor and Bob & Helen Haddad

Friday Night Live April 15, June 10, August 12 & November 4 7:00 -10:00 pm $5 MRC member / $10 non-member Cover charge at door. Cash Bar & Snacks

Four Saturday mornings planned throughout the year. Sponsored by: Voelz Reed & Mount, LLC & Comfort Keepers

Enjoy exploring, creating, learning, engaging, tasting and connecting! 10:00am - 12:30pm

February 6, April 9, August 27, October 29

Several lunch shows planned each year. Come laugh with us! Reservations Required April 13, June 8, August 10, October 12 & December 14

Lunch & Laughter @ Noon Readers Theater Sponsored by: Seniors Helping Seniors

900 Lindsey Street Columbus, IN 47201 (812) 376-9241 www.millracecenter.org PRIME TIME • FEBRUARY 2016 • 17

By Sharon Mangas n photos by April Knox

From music makers to house sellers Davises keep rolling along with their commitment to customer service 18 â&#x20AC;˘ FEBRUARY 2016 â&#x20AC;˘ PRIME TIME

an and Laura Davis first set eyes on each other in 1971 at a Christmas dance at Vincennes University. Dan spied Laura — there with another guy — in a stylish purple outfit and was instantly smitten.

“Everyone in their family was musically gifted. Dan’s mother played piano and gave piano lessons, and Mr. Davis and all three of the boys played multiple instruments. Their practice sessions sounded like polished performances. It was like living next door to a recording studio.” — John Hall

“I knew she was the one for me,” says Dan. “Christmas break, she went home to Chesterfield (near Anderson),” he recalls, “and I phoned her. … I made up a tall tale that my dad needed me to make a trip to Anderson on music store business, and I asked her if she’d go out with me while I was there. Luckily, she said ‘yes.’” They wed eight months later, in August 1972. They’ve been married for 43 years and have worked side-by-side for most of that time, 26 years at Gary Davis Music Makers and 12 years at Century 21 – Breeden Realtors. The Davis family music store was an institution in Columbus from the mid-1950s until it closed in 2002. Dan’s late father, Gary Davis Sr., founded the store, but family roots in music stretch back even further. “My great-grandparents had a group called The Sheets Family Band,” recounts Dan. “My grandmother, Claire, played clarinet in the band, and her stepsister, Elta, played cornet. One of their gigs was playing on a riverboat with Buckskin Ben’s Wild West Show, up and down the Ohio River.” Dan’s grandparents met when his grandfather joined the Sheets Family Band. “My grandfather Davis often told the story that he was forced to marry my grandmother because the Sheets Family Band needed a trombone player,” Dan adds with a chuckle. Musical talent followed into the next generation — first to Dan’s dad, Gary Sr., his mother, Edna, and his paternal aunts — and then down to Davis and his brothers, Tom and Gary Jr. Longtime friend and childhood neighbor John Hall remembers being awestruck by the talent in the Davis family. “Everyone in their family was musically gifted,” says Hall. “Dan’s mother played piano and gave piano lessons, and Mr. Davis and all three of the boys played multiple instruments. Their practice sessions sounded like PRIME TIME • FEBRUARY 2016 • 19

The Davises are Harley-Davidson motorcycle enthusiasts. They rode to Wyoming in 2010. | submitted photo

polished performances. It was like living next door to a recording studio.” When Dan and Laura joined the family business in the 1970s, there were eight family members running the store. After Dan’s dad died and his brothers and their wives left the business, Dan and Laura ran the store singlehandedly for the last eight years, working six days a week. “By the end of that time, we were ready to transition to something different,” says Laura. “Dan and I were doing a job that used to be done by eight people. We just couldn’t keep that up. None of our three sons were interested in taking it over.” In the summer of 2002, Dan made an offhand comment to a real estate broker about selling a lot the Davises owned next to the music store. One thing led to another, and in no time, Dan and Laura found themselves accepting an offer for the land and the building. “The timing was right,” says Dan. “Just before Christmas 2002, we finished our ‘going out of business sale’ and locked the doors of the store for the last time. I was proud we closed without owing a penny of debt.” Dan retained the store’s sound system business as a work-from-home enterprise, and Laura took a 20 • FEBRUARY 2016 • PRIME TIME

job as a receptionist at a local bank. For the first time in years, they weren’t working together. Over lunch one day with Laura and her co-worker Barb Dunlap (an appraiser), Dan expressed frustration about some unscrupulous business owners who were dodging bills for sound design work. Dunlap suggested Dan consider a career change and get into real estate. “I had no experience in the field,” he says. “But I was intrigued by the idea … so I called Mark Pratt at Breeden the next day and asked him what he thought.” A few days later, Davis interviewed with Breeden co-owners Pratt and Jan Hexamer-Gardner and got the green light. He enrolled in real estate school, crammed for his state exam and started work at Breeden in January 2004. Laura found herself jobless a few months later, when the bank she worked for restructured and downsized. She followed Dan’s lead into real estate. They were a team again. “We like to tell clients when they hire us, they get 200 percent,” says Laura, “100 hundred percent effort from Dan and 100 percent from me.” Although neither had experience in real estate before they made their career move, they knew about working

with the public and good customer service, both important skills in real estate sales. Their boss, Hexamer-Gardner, appreciates their focus on customer service. “Dan and Laura are funloving and charismatic,” she says, “but at the same time are careful, cautious and very protective of their clients. They learned the importance of customer service during their years of owning their own business. They know it’s not enough to just sell the ‘product,’ but you have to be there to give service after the sale, too. They’re very thorough, making sure clients are informed every step of the way.” Dan thumbs through a Breeden monthly sales report, pointing out that he and Laura stay in the middle of the pack. That’s fine with them. “God provides for us,” says Laura. “We could do higher production, but we want to have time to enjoy our lives, too.” Dan nods in agreement. “We aren’t the highest earners here,” he says, “but when you get our service, we stick with you from the beginning to the end, and not just until you sign the contract.” He points to a row of Breeden Quality Service awards on their desks. “We’re prouder of these Quality Service Awards than being top-sellers, because our service awards

“We like to tell clients when they hire us, they get 200 percent, 100 hundred percent effort from Dan and 100 percent from me.” — Laura Davis are based on maintaining a 95 percent customer satisfaction rate.” Their free time is spent riding motorcycles, and both are involved with the local Harley Owners Group chapter. Dan is an officer, and Laura is the club photographer. Their longest ride to date has been to Cody, Wyoming, in 2010. Good friend Jimmy Bennett, assistant director of the HOG chapter, sees parallels between the Davises’ hobby and their career. “We have a saying in our motorcycle group, ‘Let’s ride and have fun.’ I think Dan and Laura do that in their professional world as well as their recreational world.” Work or play, there’s always sweet harmony in this couple’s partnership. PT PRIME TIME • FEBRUARY 2016 • 21

Planning to sell your house?

First, declutter

By Erin E. Arvedlund n The Philadelphia Inquirer (TNS)

om Sauerman and his wife, Sue, are still active in their Philadelphia neighborhood and continue to be members of its seniors club. He is a former president of the its community council. But after 35 years, they made a deliberate decision to sell their beloved home and move into a continuing-care retirement community not far away. “We moved 2 1/2 years ago, when I was 77 and my wife was 74, and we were both in good health,” Tom Sauerman recalls. Their journey offers a road map for those contemplating independent- or assisted-living facilities or retirement homes. Start by developing a plan and a timetable; allow up to two years to complete the process. When selling a house, engage a real estate agent who knows your neighborhood well and don’t overvalue the property. And finally, Sauerman advises, “Start decluttering — now.” The couple recognized opposing forces at work. One was the urge to stay put. “We were in good health, so there was no rush. We could wait on selling the house until the market improved, put off all that downsizing work. Our friends thought we were crazy to leave before needing to go anywhere,” he says. The other was their desire to go forward in life. “Do it while you’re in control of everything,” he says. “Don’t wait until you have to depend on your

22 • FEBRUARY 2016 • PRIME TIME

kids to help sell the house, make the move or care for the remaining spouse. The sooner you get out from under house and property care, the sooner you can be free of those expenses and concerns, the sooner you can really enjoy retirement and have the time to do what gives you pleasure.” Financial advisers are a must when shopping for a retirement home option. “When I have a client who’s looking at a retirement facility, I tell them that they should insist on getting the financials from that place,” says Mark Blair, founder of Blair Wealth Management, a registered investment adviser. “People sometimes buy into communities which are poorly managed or go bankrupt. Make sure to have someone with a finance background analyze the establishment’s financial

records and ask: Are they overly leveraged? Does the retirement place have a lot of debt? Or are they in good shape?” Blair has personally dealt with these questions: A sibling with multiple sclerosis lives in a nursing home locally, at a cost of about $13,000 a month. “Any institution should provide you audited financials,” he says. “If they won’t provide it, look elsewhere. Why should they hide that from you?” Costs range from $40,000 to $100,000 a year for an independent living community, depending on how upscale you want it to be, says Blair. A continuing-care retirement community usually requires a purchase of about $400,000, plus maintenance fees. Assisted-living facilities average yearly costs of $44,000 to $53,000, Blair estimates.

The Sauermans looked at more than a dozen places before settling on Cathedral Village in Philadelphia. “The first one we liked, we requested its financial reports and sent them to our banker son. He and a nursing home specialist in his bank’s commercial loan department reviewed them. The facility was heavily financed and could result in sizable annual increases of the monthly fees,” Sauerman says.

COPING WITH THE CLUTTER

Decluttering “holds people back from starting to act on their future,” Sauerman says. After 57 years of marriage, the couple had every closet jammed. “Today, we live in a two-bedroom apartment and have yet to find something that we ‘need’ from our former home,” he says.

They began with a “men’s weekend” with two sons and a grandson to initiate the decluttering while Sue Sauerman visited a friend. Tom chose to attack the worst of it: an attic full of clothes, some of which his wife wore in high school. A local theater’s wardrobe mistress took some; the rest went to Goodwill. The Sauermans invited their entire family the following Christmas for a final visit to the homestead, flying in everyone from Colorado, South Dakota, Illinois and New York. The couple put everything in the basement and told the relatives to take their pick. To their shock, little was claimed. “Our choices of china, pictures, knickknacks, furniture, all that, were as different to them as our parents’ and grandparents’ possessions were to us when we were their age,” he says.

A LONG PROCESS They reviewed everything in three passes over many months. First, they threw out things they didn’t want to take with them and that were of little value. Next, they sorted things of enough value to be sold. Then they faced the reality of that two-bedroom apartment. Valuable items went to an auction house; the piano, to a piano dealer. “It’s painful to realize that your family members don’t value your treasures as much as you do. It’s unsettling to put them up for sale at a tenth of their original price. … If you try to get what you consider as ‘full value,’ you’ll go crazy,” Sauerman says. Instead, focus on the pleasure and use that these things provided, he says. “You can’t move forward with all this ‘stuff’ holding you back.” PT

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What goes up … Patient investors rely on long-term strength of market By Barney Quick The argument that the stock market, in the long run, is the most stable place for investment dollars is borne out by statistics comparing it to other investment tools going back a century. Still, that’s scant comfort in times such as the beginning of 2016, in which Wall Street saw the worst start to a new year since 2008. The sell-off was attributed to a confluence of world events: Chinese structural economic problems, feverpitch tensions between Saudi Arabia and Iran, and a North Korean nuclear test. This leaves the everyday investor with a nagging question: How can I make my financial security less vulnerable to such upheavals? That question looms large for the baby boomer generation. It has lived through that 2008 market dive, as well as the subsequent economic downturn. More fundamentally, boomers have not prepared as well as previous generations for their sunset years. A 2015 AARP study of residents of New York shows that 38 percent of the state’s residents in the 51-to-69-yearold age bracket lack any savings for retirement. This year, a survey by bankrate.com revealed that 63 percent of Americans don’t have cash on hand for such unexpected expenses as an emergency room visit or a $500 car repair. 24 • FEBRUARY 2016 • PRIME TIME

That definitely adds to the jitters of those who have stored away at least a little something and chosen the stock market route. Steve Meredith, senior vice president at Hilliard Lyons, points out a few key factors that need to be part of a baby boomer’s strategy for retirement investing: reducing debt wherever possible, “thinking like a lifer” and “knowing what you currently own and why.” Regarding the “lifer” mindset, he acknowledges that “market volatility is certainly frightening. When we look at it from a two- to three-year time frame, it’s much less predictable than the long-term frame is.” Still, he points out that “the worst bear market we’ve had, [in which the Dow Jones industrial average] went from a high-water mark of 14,198 in October 2007 to a low-water mark of 6,469 in March 2009, still didn’t have the highs and lows seen over the last 20 years. In March 2013, we eclipsed the October 2007 high.” He also says that an individual’s personality is an important factor. “Risk is not a cookie-cutter phenomenon,” he notes. “I see people in their 40s and 50s who buy nothing but bonds, and people in their 90s who want to take an aggressive approach. I’d say the key question is, are you sleeping well with your current level of risk?” Craig Kessler, president and chief investment officer of Kessler Investment Group, cites hockey legend Wayne Gretzky’s adage about “skating to where the

puck is” to summarize his view of how baby boomers ought to approach investing. “The market and the economy don’t care what stage of life you’re in,” he says, “so it’s incumbent upon an investor to recognize what opportunities there are in the marketplace. It’s important not to become dogmatic about investing based on your age. There’s a different opportunity set at any point in time.” Meredith says that in addition to “thinking like a lifer,” another key element in dealing with volatility is “being prepared to back down from your current risk level.” Kessler basically concurs: “If your biggest fear is outliving your money, you’re going to have to give some with regard to the volatility that comes with an aggressive strategy.” Advanced technology companies garner a lot of attraction when they first go public but have a history of fading or failing to overcome obsolescence. The most obvious example would be the dot-com bust right around the turn of the century. With that in mind, how should an investor regard their inclusion in his portfolio? “We wouldn’t typically think of them as core holdings in a retirement plan,” says Meredith. “Certainly they might be inside a mutual fund, but the core would tend to be companies such as Procter & Gamble or General Electric that have established product lines.” Kessler cautions against “chronological snobbery. We don’t remember the 1890s, but this country was brought to its knees by the railroad industry going bust. That was fresh in the minds of people in the early 20th century and affected their behavior. The same thing happened a century later, with the Internet bust, but now look at the proliferation of cloud technology,

such as Google and Facebook. What’s consistent over time is the human desire to be more efficient.” He points out the reliability of the market’s cyclical nature. “What happens every time at the peak is that people forget about the bad times. Everybody who wants to invest is investing, and there is no incremental buyer. At that point, the opportunity set starts to change significantly. The opposite is true, too. You reach a point where you have all buyers. Capital seeks the place where it gets the best return.” Meredith says that the stock market continues to be the best long-term place for investment dollars. “Precious metals don’t produce anything of value like a company does. There’s no dividend. Gold was down over 800 points between August 2011 and late December 2015.” Regarding real estate, he says, “I think an argument can be made for a place for it in an overall investment plan. Farm land leasing provides a pretty consistent return.” Still, he says that “a company, hopefully, has a new idea, a new product, a new management that is making it grow. That’s a major factor in increasing the share value.” Kessler says there is no substitute for being aware of conditions at any given time: “You have to be as dynamic in your plan as the market is cyclical.” PT

PRIME TIME • FEBRUARY 2016 • 25

Saying goodbye Death of a pet can trigger long grieving process By Jennifer Willhite

olumbus resident Sandy Tom’s relationship with her 13-year-old Scottish terrier, Bullwinkle, was quite unusual. When Tom developed health issues in recent years, Bullwinkle was always by her side. When she would return home from doctor visits and hospital stays, Bullwinkle was at the door waiting for her. He was like a son to her, she says. A constant companion. Then Bullwinkle developed cancer. After he endured numerous surgeries and amputations, Tom knew it was time to let go. “He was starting to suffer so bad,” she says. “I knew I couldn’t keep him, but I wanted to. I didn’t want to let him go, but I knew it was the right thing to do.” She made the decision to be with Bullwinkle when he was euthanized in February 2015. She says in the months following his death she would cry every day and cry herself to sleep at night. Even today, when she looks at the box that contains his ashes, she cries. Certainly, when a pet dies the loss can be as traumatic as the death of a human loved one. It leaves a void that may never be filled, but Tom hopes her loss becomes easier to accept with time. To that end, she acquired Rocky, a Yorkshire terrier puppy, last October. “I probably jumped into getting Rocky,” the 67-year-old Tom says. “But I was getting lonely again. I wanted someone here with me.” Her story is like many Dr. Brooke Case sees with her clients at Athens Animal Clinic. She says everyone deals with the loss of a pet differently and there are no black-and-white guidelines on how one should progress through the loss.

26 • FEBRUARY 2016 • PRIME TIME

When talking to clients about options for pets that are suffering from a terminal illness, have suffered a traumatic injury or may just be getting older, Case says she has a general rule of thumb when it comes to quality of life. “When the good days outnumber the bad days, you’re still OK,” she says. “But when the bad days begin outnumbering the good days, you need to start thinking about what is in the best interest of the animal.” Often, for those who have more than one pet, it is important to remember that animals grieve, too. And though it may sound odd, allowing the remaining pet or pets to be a part of the euthanasia process can help ease their grief. “I try to recommend, if it works out, that they bring the other animal in with them when the euthanasia is done or take the deceased animal home and bring it back,” Case says. “The animal that is still at home, if they smell and see the animal has passed, typically what I see is their grieving process is shortened. They instinctively smell and know they’re gone.” Empty-nesters or retired individuals used to having pets may find some solace in adopting another animal after the loss of a pet. Case says having another animal helps some people to grieve. However, you should never assume getting another animal is what someone needs without discussing it with them first. “That is the biggest mistake people make,” Case says. “Don’t just assume that getting a pet for someone is going to fix their grief.” Many people get another pet not necessarily to fill the void created by the loss, but because they are used to having an animal in their life, Case says. Simply

put, if you are a dog person and your dog dies, there’s something missing. Ron Shadley, co-owner of Faithful Friends in Passing Pet Cremation and Memorialization, says the clients he and his wife, Jodi, see have a significant attachment to their pets. However, he believes people should work through their grief before getting another animal. “Our mantra says, ‘Sadness fades, memories linger,’” Shadley says. “You can’t fill that void. You can replace with another pet, but you can’t fill that void. You have to work through the process of the loss, just like with a human.” Columbus resident Jerald Baker says when his 12-year-old rat terrier named Izzy died in December, he actually felt physical pain over the loss. “You get so wrapped up in them, you don’t think about it,” the 73-year-old Baker says. “She shadowed me everywhere I went. So when she got sick, that really bothered me.” In November, Izzy began having seizures for reasons the veterinarians could not explain. Nothing they did seemed to help her. Quickly, her bad days began outnumbering the good ones. Baker says he knew he had to do something with her. “I decided I was going to have to have her put down, and it put a hole in my heart,” he says. “Afterwards it was very rough. I literally had chest pains.” Baker says the best advice he would give others is to not dwell on the loss. “You have to accept that none of us live forever,” he says. “You have to think about what you had with them instead of what you lost because no one can take that away from you. It is always going to be there, but you have to move on.” PT PRIME TIME • FEBRUARY 2016 • 27

calendar of events February February

-13 — “Freedom Is My Home.” 7 p.m., The Harlequin Theatre, Fair Oaks Mall. “Freedom Is My Home,” created by Jan Lucas, features Charlotte Battin as abolitionist Margaret Ella Scott and Danny Russel as President Lincoln. Tickets – $15 advance, $20 door, $10 students, at Viewpoint Books, mall office and Harlequin box office. Information: 812343-4597.

-14 — “And The Winner Is” Dinner Theatre. 6 p.m. Feb. 12 and13; 1 p.m. Feb. 14, Willow Leaves of Hope, 326 Jackson St., Hope. Fourth annual Valentine’s Day Dinner Theatre. This year’s production is “And The Winner Is,” written by Mitch Albom, author of “Tuesdays with Morrie” and “The 5 People You Meet in Heaven.” Be ready to share laughs at the trials of a famous person with a problem. PG13 for mild language. Admission: $25. Information: 812-546-0640.

musicians from the community, include show tunes, big band, military and symphonic selections. Information: webmaster@columbuscityband.org.

— D-Vine Winter Wine & Beer Fest. 1 to 7 p.m., The Commons. DSI’s eighth annual festival brings together wineries and breweries from around the state, along with food and live music in a relaxed setting. Indiana wines and beers will be available for tasting and purchase. Proceeds will benefit people with disabilities. Must be 21 or over to attend. Admission: $20 advance/$25 door. Information: 812-376-9404.

— The Natural World of Winnie-thePooh. 2 p.m., Bartholomew County Public Library. Free. Immerse yourself in the iconic landscapes of the Hundred Acre Wood. Not many know that it is a real place in East Sussex, England, called Ashdown Forest. Kathryn Aalto, author of “The Natural World of Winnie-thePooh: A Walk through the Forest that Inspired the Hundred Acre Wood,” leads a nostalgic, visually Kathryn Aalto rich journey into the place where A.A. Milne lived and set the tender adventures of Pooh and his band of friends. Information: 812-3791255.

— kidscommons Carnivale. 6 to 11 p.m., kidscommons, 309 Washington St. France is this year’s host country for the museum’s annual fundraiser. Tickets on sale. Information: 812-378-3046 or www.kidscommons.org.

— Columbus City Band Winter Concert. 2 p.m., The Commons, 300 Washington St. Free. Concerts, performed by more than 50 volunteer

28 • FEBRUARY 2016 • PRIME TIME

D-Vine Winter Wine & Beer Fest

— The Most Chaotic Tuesday. 6:30 to 8 p.m., The Commons. Free. Short films about Jean Tinguely’s kinetic sculpture, “Chaos I,” will be shown, followed by a discussion about how he fabricated the piece. The event follows the monthly “Chaotic Tuesday” when “Chaos I” will be run at its fullest extent. Information: 812-376-2681.

— Yes Comedy Showcase: Ron Feingold. 8 p.m., Yes Cinema & Conference Center, 328 Jackson St. Feingold has performed in America’s finest comedy clubs, universities and theaters. After

Ron Feingold

doing straight stand-up for five years, he decided to stir things up a little and bring his love for a cappella music to the comedy clubs, and audiences have been laughing and singing with him ever since. Tickets: $20 advance/$25 door. Rated R. Information: 812-379-1630; www.yescinema.org.

— Columbus Symphony Orchestra: The People You Meet Along the Way. 3:30 p.m., The Commons, 300 Washington St. Tickets: $10 adults, $5 seniors & children (12 and older), free younger than 12. Tickets available online at csoindiana.org/tickets, or at door.

March March

— Cabaret at The Commons – Ramin Karimloo. Presented by the Columbus Indiana Philharmonic. Ramin Karimloo is a beloved musical force with a decade’s worth of West End accolades, including an Olivier Award nomination and an album that peaked at No. 16 on British charts. A theatrical chameleon, the Tony-nominee’s cabaret show, “From Broadway to Bluegrass,” will prove his stage versatility. Tickets are $50 (VIP), $30 (preferred) and $15 (general admission). A plated dinner is available for $15. RSVP dinner order by March 2. Information: 812-376-2638.

— First Fridays for Families: “Henny Penny.” Free. 6 p.m., The Commons, 300 Washington St. Artreach Division of the Children’s Theatre of Cincinnati production based on the original folktale. Henny Penny is a hen enjoying a day gathering acorns. When one hits her on the head, she is convinced that the sky is falling and feels it is her duty to tell the king. Along the way she asks her friends to join her on her heroic quest. Information: 812-376-2539; artsincolumbus.org.

— Annual Easter Egg Hunt. 10 a.m., Donner Park. Areas for ages 1-2, 3-4, 5-6 and 7-8. If raining, candy and eggs will be distributed in Donner Center. Please bring a bag or basket for your eggs. Information: 812 or www. columbusparksandrec.com.

April April

— First Fridays for Families: “The Jungle Book.” Free. 6 p.m., The Commons, 300 Washington St. Enjoy Dancers Studio’s production

of Rudyard Kipling’s classic story, a thrilling, adventure-filled journey with the boy Mowgli as he makes his way to the village with Bagheera, the wise panther. Along the way he meets jazzy King Louie, the hypnotic snake Kaa and the lovable happy-go lucky bear Baloo who teaches Mowgli “The Bare Necessities” of life and the true meaning of friendship. Information: 812-376-2539; artsincolumbus.org.

— Columbus Indiana Philharmonic “Music for Royalty.” Celebrate the 20th anniversary of the Columbus Indiana Children’s Choir. CICC joins the orchestra to sing Handel’s “Coronation Anthem” and Purcell’s “Ode to Queen Mary.” Other royal music includes Handel’s “Water Music” and Elgar’s “Pomp and Circumstance.” 7:30 p.m., Columbus North High School auditorium, 1400 25th St. Information/tickets: 812-376-2638, ext. 1; tickets@thecip.org.

— Cabaret at The Commons – Annaleigh Ashford. 7:30 p.m., The Commons. Presented by the Columbus Indiana Philharmonic. Ashford is known for her work on Broadway, including as Glinda in “Wicked” and Essie Carmichael in “You Can’t Take It With You,” which earned her a Tony Award in 2015. Her Cabaret show, “Lost in the Stars,” celebrates the classic cabaret with an eclectic mix of music Annaleigh Ashford from the disco days of Donna Summer, to Judy Garland at Carnegie Hall, to a singa-long of Alanis Morrisette. Tickets are $50 (VIP), $30 (preferred) and $15 (general admission). A plated dinner is available for $15. RSVP dinner order by April 6. Information: 812-376-2638.

— Columbus City Band Spring Concert. 2 p.m., The Commons, 300 Washington St. Free. Concerts, performed by more than 50 volunteer musicians from the community, include show tunes, big band, military and symphonic selections. Information: webmaster@columbuscityband.org.

— Columbus Symphony Orchestra’s “Death and Transfiguration.” 3:30 p.m., Columbus North High School auditorium, 1400 25th St. Tickets: $10 adults, $5 seniors & children (12 and older), free younger than 12. Tickets available online at csoindiana.org/tickets, or at door.

— Family Service CAP Adult Prom. 7 to 11 p.m., The Commons. Whether your prom was PRIME TIME • FEBRUARY 2016 • 29

Family Service CAP Adult Prom in 2003 or 1963, the variety of food and the open cash bar will be sure to please all. Party favors, a red carpet, “prom photos,” silent auction, song requests, a prom king and queen, and many more surprises. A fun way to support child abuse prevention. (Must be 21 or over to attend.)

“Without a Trace” and more. Her cabaret show, “Yes! It’s Today,” will conclude the 2016 Spring Cabaret series. Tickets are $50 (VIP), $30 (preferred) and $15 (general admission). A plated dinner is available for $15. RSVP dinner order by May 4. Information: 812376-2638.

— Columbus Indiana Philharmonic “A Visit to Vienna.” Philharmonic Concertmaster Benjamin Hoffman will be featured in Beethoven’s masterful violin concerto, a work written and premiered in Vienna. Rounding out the program is Brahms’ First Symphony, which was a major triumph for the young composer in his adopted city. 7:30 p.m., Columbus North High School auditorium, 1400 25th St. Information/tickets: 812-376-2638, ext. 1; tickets@thecip.org.

May May

— Cabaret at The Commons – Marin Mazzie. 7:30 p.m., The Commons. Presented by the Columbus Indiana Philharmonic. Three-time Tony Award nominee Marin Mazzie has starred on the Broadway stage and London’s West End in “Next to Normal,” “Bullets Over Broadway,” “Monty Python’s Spamalot” and others. Her television career includes roles in Showtime’s “The Big C,” NBC’s “Smash,” CBS’s

30 • FEBRUARY 2016 • PRIME TIME

-22 — Secret Gardens of historical downtown Columbus. Featuring 13 urban home gardens and 13 “curb appeal” landscapes within walking distance of one another. The tour will begin at the Columbus Area Visitors Center. Included are student arts and crafts sponsored by the Philip R. Miller Visual Arts Center at Columbus East High School. Times: Saturday 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.; Sunday noon to 5 p.m. Admission: $8/adult, $5/12 and younger. Advance ticket sales at Baker’s Fine Gifts and Viewpoint Books; $10/ adult, $5/12 and younger – door. Information: 812343-3408.

— Salute Concert. 7 p.m., courthouse lawn. Columbus Indiana Philharmonic’s hometown concert in honor of those who have served and who serve in the U.S. Armed Forces. The annual performance is on the grounds of the veterans memorial. The event is free, and attendees are encouraged to bring lawn chairs or blankets. Rain location: Columbus North High School gym. Information: 812-376-2638, ext. 111.

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PRIME TIME • FEBRUARY 2016 • 31

M y Back Pages Sharon Mangas

If the shoe fits, you’re still young I crossed another line into the golden years recently. I’m sad to report, Cinderella has left the building. I had to toss the glass slippers. Shoes have been an obsession for me since childhood. Who cared if they pinched or rubbed blisters? If they were unique or quirky enough, I gladly suffered for fashion. I have been known to make emotional shoe buys when feeling stressed. And the first thing I will notice about you is your shoes. To heck with your outfit, it’s all about the shoes. When I was a young child, my mother gave in and bought me some plastic beach shoes I begged for. They had clear hollow soles filled with water and little plastic fish. In middle school, I coveted my robin egg blue T-straps. In college, I lusted after a pair of highheeled sneakers I saw in a window display in New York City. Sadly, I had to pass those tennies by for lack of funds. I still regret it. Of course, my all-time favorite shoes were the platform heels I had in my 20s. They were so high that wobbling was a given. They had pink flamingos painted on the sides. I wore them on one of my first dates with my now husband, and he had to piggyback me halfway home from the restaurant. Wobbly platforms aren’t made for ice and snow. I’ll get back to this, but if you’re of a certain age, you may remember the Enna Jettick shoe brand. If it doesn’t ring a bell, conjure up sturdy, utilitarian black tie-up shoes. Granny shoes. Think Dana Carvey dressed as Church Lady on “Saturday Night Live.” I was never going to wear shoes like that. Ever. Just after Christmas this year, gift money in hand, I decided I wanted … surprise … some new shoes. I

gave up quirky and impractical a long time ago, but I still go for stylish. With dreams of cute dancing in my head, I made my way to a local department store. I knew what I wanted. Some trendy ankle boots, or something similar for winter wear. I perused the inventory. There was plenty of cute. I pulled boxes and boxes of shoes off the shelves to try on. It’s all self-service these days, so at least you don’t get shamed by an exasperated clerk for asking to try on 10 pairs of shoes. This is the moment I unwittingly turned into one of Cinderella’s ugly stepsisters. For years I could depend on size 8, medium. As I’ve aged, that’s changed. It’s exasperating. Eight medium now seems a little short, but an 8½ flops off my heel. I wear a 9 in athletic shoes. Jeez! I started trying on all the cute. It was, shall we say, trying. If they weren’t too tight in the toes, they were too loose in the heels. Moving up or down a size didn’t work. Believe me, I did plenty of pulling and tugging to get something to fit. My feet were not going to accommodate the glass slippers. One last pair sat on the pile. Sort of cute, but mostly practical. Soft black leather. Flats. Tie-up shoes. Not as utilitarian or ugly as a pair of Enna Jetticks, but definitely leaning to the practical side. They fit. Like a glove. Totally comfortable. I bought them. And yes, I crossed the line. Comfort trumped cute. I’m officially a little older. Never say never, folks. Thankfully, grandchildren soften the slings and arrows of getting older. I have a new grandson, born in January, and little Jack Michael doesn’t give a hoot about what shoes I wear. It’s all about the love. Now that’s what I call a perfect fit.

Sharon Mangas can be reached at sharon.d.mangas@gmail.com 32 • FEBRUARY 2016 • PRIME TIME

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