February 2014 by Britt Johnsen

FEBRUARY 2014

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in this issue 02.14 in every issue 4 editor’s note 7 local finds

cover story 12 the happy, healthy truth Jina Schaefer delivers the truth about your health in small, powerful steps.

fashion 6 the midi skirt Check out Emily Abbott’s latest exploration of fashion trends.

health 8 hormone health Find wellness via sources you might not expect: Your adrenals and thyroid. 10 striptease How burlesque can help your feelings of well-being.

relationships 16 child-hulk Stephanie Kotelnicki explores unacceptable man-child behavior in her latest dating column.

love & life 18 carpe diem Liv Lane talks to Minneapolis blogger Jasmine Stringer about her transformation.

21 explore your intuition Jodi Livon, author, intuitive reader and resident psychic at Twin Cities Live, answers reader questions about intuition. 22 savvy sun signs Teri Parsley Starnes, a professional astrologer living in Minneapolis, tells readers what to expect from the stars this month.

savvy’s mission Savvy Magazine aims to educate and inspire a community of Twin Citiesarea women who share personal stories and real-world information on how to feel, live and look the best they can. Through original reporting, local events and journalistic integrity, Savvy is the source for how to be healthy, happy, fashionable and connected.

corrections Savvy Magazine strives to publish accurate information in every edition. When necessary, we will correct and acknowledge errors. Did you spot an error? Contact Editor in Chief Britt Johnsen at editor@savvy.mn or 952-345-6387.

feedback Do you have any story ideas? Did anything inspire or enrage you? Contact us at editor@savvy.mn or 952-345-6387.

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editor'snote

Doing Better in 2014 PUBLISHER Jennifer Sorenson EDITOR IN CHIEF Britt Johnsen GRAPHIC DESIGNERS Nicole Bullock | Lindsay Gergen CIRCULATION MANAGER Ruby Winings CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Emily Abbott | Scott Fagerstrom Stephanie Kotelnicki | Jodi Livon Liv Lane | Amanda McKnight Teri Parsley Starnes | Amy Stubblefield COVER PHOTOGRAPHY Steve Lucas Photography CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS Carrie Rood WEB Adam Westlund SAVVY EDITORIAL BOARD Britt Johnsen | Jennifer Sorenson Becky Poss | Kay Guidarelli Judy Holmquist | Wendy Kleiser Kelcie McKenney | Janelle Meier Lanae Paaverud | Becky Porspakka Karen Wolf Savvy Magazine is published monthly by Southwest Newspapers. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form by means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior consent of Southwest Newspapers, 952-445-3333, P.O. Box 8, Shakopee, Minn. 55379.

CONTACTS: CONTENT: Britt Johnsen, 952-345-6387 or editor@savvy.mn ADVERTISING: 952-345-6477 or advertising@savvy.mn SUBSCRIPTION AND ADDRESS CHANGE: Ruby Winings, 952-345-6682 or circulation@swpub.com

PLEASE RECYCLE THIS MAGAZINE

FEBRUARY 2014 | savvy.mn

new year is here and well under way, and that means the season of I-promise-to-do-better pacts has arrived. Promising to eat better, exercise more, quit that vice, work on your book. But as our cover model Jina Schaefer knows, change doesn’t happen all at once. It happens in small steps. Jina’s expertise is in health coaching, and she helps people reach their fitness and diet goals by helping them tweak their lifestyles so that they live healthier – emphasis on the –ier, because getting healthy is not something that happens in one fell swoop. Scott Fagerstrom outlines Jina’s approach to health and wellness on page 12, as well as interviews Jina about her and her business. Check out the article, and let us know – what is your approach to wellness? In our Health Issue, we’ve decided to look at other unique approaches to health. For example, expert Jill Grunewald examines and encourages health from the perspective of adrenal glands and thyroids. If your hormones aren’t functioning, she says, you could be in a world of trouble. Check out her insights and advice on page 8. We also wondered about another fun way to approach fitness: Burlesque. The Twin Cities is known for its burlesque scene, so we asked local dancers and studio owners about how the practice can affect your feelings of well-being. Read all about it on page 10. Health is not just about your physical well-being. It’s also about your inner life. Jasmine Stringer found success as a blogger and a leading member of Oprah Winfrey’s community of fans. This came after she was laid off from her job, and her own pacts to meet specific goals did not work, as life can deliver to us such detours. She was devastated, but she encountered a fabulous turnaround. Read Liv Lane’s tale of her transformation on page 18. Be sure to share your own tips, as well as your own story of success, struggles and

more. We are aiming to publish more essays this year, so please let us know if you have a story to tell, or know of a woman we need to talk to. Contact me with your thoughts, editor@savvy.mn or 952-345-6387, or comment online at savvy.mn. We have some exclusive stories online, so be sure to come back regularly to read new, interesting, inspirational stories about Twin Cities women, events, trends and more. You may even find yourself making progress on your New Year’s pacts because of what you read. We hope so, anyway. Here’s to your health,

Britt Johnsen Editor in Chief

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fashion | trends

1 2 3 8 4 7 6 5 MIDI

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This spring is all about being a lady. With pastels ruling the runway and the feminine form juxtaposed against boxy jackets, it is no wonder the â&#x20AC;&#x153;midiâ&#x20AC;? stole the show and will be a must-have when spring hits. By Emily Abbott

1. Colette A-Line Midi Skirt. $30, BooHoo. Channel your inner ballerina in this ultra-feminine black midi skirt with a tulle overlay. 2. Pale Pink Pleated Midi Skirt. $28, Dorothy Perkins. Balance out the length of this skirt and make yourself look taller by pairing it with a crop top. 3. Grey Flannel Midi Skirt. $70, River Island. Pair this skirt with ivory or burgundy for a sophisticated city-girl look. 4. Storyteller Buttoned Midi Skirt. $43. Demure and charming easily describe this lovely pale pink midi. 5. Kathy Elasticated Waistband Sequin Midi Skirt. $33. Pair this sequined delight with a cropped tuxedo jacket for a stunning night out. 6. Valerie Croc Waistband Midi Skirt. $41, Fashion Union. For those a bit more daring try this spring trend in a sassy leopard print. 7. Monochrome Midi Skirt. $32, Miss Selfridge. This curvy, sophisticated number can be dressed up with a black button-down or go casual with a black crop top. 8. Grey Midi Tulle Skirt. $50, TopShop. This playful midi keeps it casual with a grey knit layered under soft grey tulle.

FEBRUARY 2014 | savvy.mn

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savvy.mn | FEBRUARY 2014

health | hormones

All Adrenals

Jill Grunewald explains why balanced adrenals are a key to health. BY AMANDA MCKNIGHT

uzi Cooper spent the first six months of 2012 in her bedroom. She couldn’t go to work, go grocery shopping, shovel the sidewalk or pick up the mail. Eventually, she couldn’t even pick up a full gallon of milk without it hurting her arm. Cooper had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and depression, but neither of those diagnoses were correct. The real reason behind why Cooper ended up in bed for six months was adrenal fatigue – a syndrome that results from the adrenal glands functioning below the necessary level. The adrenal glands produce hormones that humans need to live, including cortisol and adrenaline. If the adrenals are under too much stress, though, they overor under-produce these hormones, which can lead to adrenal fatigue. Jill Grunewald, a Minneapolis-based certified holistic nutritionist and coach who helps people suffering from hypothyroidism and adrenal dysfunction, says there are a couple of stages to adrenal dysfunction. For many people, the adrenals will start dysfunctioning by producing too much adrenaline and cortisol. This can lead to a “tired and wired” feeling; a person in this stage of adrenal dysfunction might feel exhausted but also feel unable to rest. Insomnia is common when the adrenals are overproducing because cortisol regulates sleep, and spikes of it will keep a person awake. “If your life is crazy, your adrenals are trying to take up the slack,” Grunewald says. “The adrenals’ job is to put out small, calculated amounts of adrenaline and

FEBR FE FEBRUARY BRUA UARY RY 2014 201 01 14 4 | savvy.mn savv sa vvy. y.mn mn

cortisol. The adrenals are the glands that come to the rescue and help us get through any kind of stressor. If you’re living a life and you’re stressed out … then you’re just going to make more and more adrenaline and cortisol.

CONSTANTLY EXHAUSTED Unless a person’s life naturally calms down for them permanently, the adrenals will eventually get tired and worn out from working so hard. That’s when adrenal fatigue starts setting in, and a person might feel constantly exhausted even after waking up from a solid night of sleep. When Cooper’s adrenals were working their hardest in her early stages of adrenal dysfunction, she was only sleeping about 20 hours a week. Soon after that, she had to go on bed rest. Luckily, her doctor had struggled with adrenal fatigue in the past, so she recognized the symptoms in Cooper and advised she cut out as much stress in her life as possible to aid in her recovery. “I was really weak, and I wasn’t able to work,” JILL GRUNEWALD Cooper explains. “I had to lose a bunch of friends, because I tend to be the counselor of the group, and it wasn’t a two-way street in a lot of these relationships. The people in my life that were the drama queens had to go.” Cooper says she also had to learn to say no to things that weren’t priorities in

her life. Grunewald says this part of the recovery process is incredibly important the ability to say no. “One of the keys to adrenal recovery is saying no to as many things as you can and pulling in your energy. Look at your calendar and say, ‘What on here can I say no to?’” Grunewald says. “When we do things out of obligation and it doesn’t serve us good, it can cause a stress response for the body. Your health is more important than people’s expectations of you.” Along with learning to say no, Grunewald says it’s imperative for people with adrenal dysfunction to give themselves permission to relax and sleep if they feel like they need to. “A lot of people will say, ‘I feel so guilty because I feel like I need 10 hours of sleep a night.’ And I say to give yourself permission. If you need 10 hours of sleep a night then you need 10 hours of sleep a night,” she says. Once the adrenals begin to recover, Grunewald explains, a person won’t need as much sleep and will wake up feeling more refreshed. It’s not unusual for someone to become as incapacitated as Cooper did when she was on bed rest, though. “The flat-liners are people who are just completely exhausted,” Grunewald says. “Even daily chores are difficult to manage. They might be worn out, not want to leave the house, have low blood pressure.” It can be difficult to determine the

One of the keys to “adrenal recovery is

saying no to as many things as you can and pulling in your energy. Look at your calendar and say, ‘What on here can I say no to?’

”

health | hormones difference between adrenal fatigue and other conditions, like thyroid disorders and depression and anxiety. But one way to try and decipher what’s happening to a person is to pay attention to their sleep cycles. Some common indicators of adrenal dysfunction, according to Grunewald, include: • If a person is incredibly tired in the morning, even after a good night of sleep, and doesn’t feel fully awake until around 10 a.m. • If a person gets a second wind after 8 p.m. or has a difficult time relaxing or getting to sleep. • If a person wakes up unprovoked in the middle of the night and is unable to easily get back to sleep. Recovery isn’t as simple as taking hormone replacement pills, either. Grunewald suggests a three-legged approach to recovery: food and nutrition, lifestyle changes and smart supplementation.

RECOVERY

a nasty cycle that is best halted by eating a balance of 40 percent complex carbohydrates, 30 percent fat and 30 percent protein, Grunewald says. While she’s not a supplement pusher, Grunewald does suggest people suffering from severe adrenal fatigue take Vitamin B supplements. “The whole spectrum of B vitamins is very important for the adrenals,” she explains. “They are very nourishing to the nervous system and mitigate that hypervigilant stress response. A lot of people feel more grounded, centered, calm.” She suggests adaptogenic herbs to people with varying degrees of adrenal dysfunction. It can help people who are in the “tired and wired” stage or those who are extremely fatigued. “Adaptogenic herbs are the most important supplement to take,” she says. “And you won’t get those from your diet. They are a very unique class of herbs that basically adjust to whatever your body needs. They are very nurturing and supporting, and a lot of people say they feel so much more calm and grounded.” Cooper can attest to that. She takes adaptogenic herb supplements and says she can feel the difference from when she wasn’t taking them. She says changing her diet has also made a big impact on her recovery, but most of all changing her lifestyle is what has kept her grounded. Even though Cooper is back at work and has gotten her life back - she even sings in a band with her husband on the weekends - recovering from adrenal fatigue is an ongoing struggle. “For women especially, a major factor is lowering our expectations of ourselves. We put way too much pressure on ourselves. You have to be the perfect wife, the perfect mother,” Cooper says. “I’ve learned to ask for help now and have lower expectations of other people. I used to have a house that you could eat off the floor any day of the week, and adrenal fatigue has helped me relax in that department. When you die, nobody is going to remember you for how clean your house was. “It takes time. It’s a process.”

For Cooper, the lifestyle changes began with learning to say no to obligations that didn’t serve her anymore. She even made new rules in her house for her kids to clean up after themselves so she didn’t have to worry as much about cleaning when she didn’t have the energy. “I had to set very strict boundaries with my family because in typical mom mode everybody counts on you to do everything and I got to a point where I said, ‘No, I can’t,’” she says. When she was able to go back to work, she decided to get out of retail, which was a stressful environment for her. Now she works as a receptionist at a naturopathic clinic, and her coworkers understand and are familiar with her adrenal struggle. “I wasn’t going to work a job that was going to stress me out,” Cooper says. “I went back and focused on things that make me happy.” Cooper also has the food and nutrition leg of recovery down considering she is a holistic nutritional consultant. This part of recovery is important because if a person has any sort of blood sugar issues, that could affect the amounts of adrenaline and cortisol being produced. Amanda McKnight is a staff writer for And if the adrenals are overproducing, Savvy and Southwest Newspapers. Send that will affect the blood sugar. It can be feedback to alillie@swpub.com.

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health | body confidence

BUILDING BODY CONFIDENCE THROUGH

Burlesque

BY AMY STUBBLEFIELD Minneapolis has been recognized for being one of America’s healthiest cities, so it’s no surprise that Twin Citians have a ton of options when it comes to getting fit. There are 5ks, marathons, fitness classes, 24-hour-gyms, yoga studios and thousands of acres of green space. But one way to work out that you might never have considered? The art of striptease—also known as burlesque. Savvy talked to three women who are pioneers of the Twin Cities burlesque scene to get the lowdown on the art form, its misconceptions, history and myriad of health benefits.

A MOVEMENT THAT’S TAKEN OFF Founded in 2005 by Ophelia Flame and Gina Louise, both internationally recognized for their neo-burlesque (or new burlesque) production and performance, Playful Peacock has helped to put Minneapolis on the map in the world of burlesque. Burlesque embraces, among other themes, nostalgia and retro glamour. Flame, a native Minnesotan and selfproclaimed Uptown Girl, teamed up with performer and partner Louise to bring the art form here, where it seemed to be a natural fit. “It’s very community- and women-positive,” Flame says. In 2011, as the burlesque resurgence was taking off, performer CherryBomb Jac founded BurlesqueMN with a mission of providing “an alternative way for women and men to get reacquainted with their bodies.” Now the studios are experiencing more success than ever, always expanding their class offerings for a dedicated and ever-growing following of students and audience members.

stripping? It’s an important conversation to have,” Flame says. “And the answer is intention.” Flame notes that many customers go to strip clubs for companionship—while audiences attend burlesque shows to enjoy the entertainment. “It’s very playful—it can be sexy, it can be silly, it can be serious. It really has the ability to do anything you want it to,” says Hussy Hautepants, student-turned-instructor at BurlesqueMN. “I would say, don’t knock it ‘til you try it. Going to a show can change your outlook on what burlesque actually is. For the most part it’s pretty, it’s fun, it’s sexy, and there’s nothing raunchy about it.”

WHAT TO EXPECT

Both local studios offer a variety of class options for students of all skill sets and comfort levels, hosting workshops, weekly classes and private events. Many of the classes take place over a series of consecutive weeks and offer a performance opportunity after the completion of the class. So what can you expect to learn? For starters, you might want to start thinking about your stage name. “No performer performs under their real name,” RISQUE OR REFINED? says Hautepants. “I immediately started thinking about Not everyone thinks of burlesque as its own sexy and my stage name, because I really wanted it to represent seductive art form, and it’s a revolution these Twin Cities how I wanted my burlesque persona to come across.” studios are actively taking part in. And at Playful Peacock, being present is key from the “What’s the difference between burlesque and get-go. The studio offers introductory and more advanced

FEBRUARY 2014 | savvy.mn

health | body confidence classes for performers. “Whether or not you have a dance background, I encourage people to take the intro classes,” Flame says. “It’s about technique, technique, technique—I can’t stress that enough. I’m also a yoga instructor, and I’m kind of a stickler for posture, form and intention.” The lineup of classes sometimes changes, as the studio strives to bring in renowned guest instructors and let them “do what they do best,” Flame says. In addition to its normal curriculum, Playful Peacock recently added a class called “Burlesque Fitness”—a hi/lo impact cardio and conditioning class “set to inappropriate music” and aimed at increasing your heart rate and building your muscle tone. “I love to include songs that you could never play at a gym, but you know everyone loves,” Flame says. The class has been a consistent hit

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for the studio. But no matter what class you take, expect a workout for mind, body and soul. Classes at both studios cover the basics like walking in heels, posture and how to sit in a chair. And since body positivity is at the heart of burlesque, you might be surprised at not only your physical transformation—but your mental transformation, too. “Self-transformation and discovery is a consistent theme, and with our serious focus on posture and technique, we really get those heart rates up and muscles conditioned,” says Flame, “but most importantly we laugh a lot—which is good for the soul.”

MORE COMPLEX THAN JUST CARDIO

owning what you have,” Hautepants says. It’s a message that permeates the movement. Undeniably, the success and sexiness of a burlesque performance all boil down to confidence, and that’s the primary skill that instructors set out to instill. For Jac, her favorite part about her job isn’t necessarily helping her clients get a workout in. It’s seeing a fundamental shift in students’ attitudes. “There is this amazing moment where they start to glow,” she says. “I love performing, but what keeps me going is definitely just watching them blossom into an even more amazing version of themselves.” For most studios, there is no prerequisite: they welcome students of all ages, sizes, genders and experience levels— though you do have to be 18 or older. “We’d like everybody in their life to take one class, at some point,” Jac says. “If nothing else, you’ll laugh for 8 weeks straight and make some really great friends.”

The physical health benefits of burlesque are not unlike the health benefits of Zumba or other dance-based exercises. Burlesque naturally combines cardio with moving your body in a calculated—and seductive!—way. But it’s the emotional affect it has on its participants that truly sets burlesque apart. Amy Stubblefield is a Twin Cities-based “BurlesqueMN’s mission is that every- freelance writer. Send feedback to editor@ body is beautiful and perfect, and it’s all about savvy.mn.

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FEBRUARY 2014 | savvy.mn

the

TRUTH according to Jina Schaefer

BY SCOTT FAGERSTROM

PHOTO CREDIT: STEVE LUCAS PHOTOGRAPHY

STYLING CREDIT: CORSET

f universities offered a degree in “weight loss studies,” Shereen Reda would probably have a PhD by now. “I’ve tried everything there is,” says the 30-year-old Eden Prairie woman, with an exasperated sigh. “My weight has been an issue for my whole life. Boot camp. Personal training. Pilates. I’ve spent thousands of dollars talking to nutritionists and all sorts of people trying to manage my weight.” The results, she said, were never satisfactory. Typically, her weight “would go down a little bit,” then bounce right back, sometimes leaving her worse off than when she started. Most important, “There was never at a point where I’d feel good about myself. It was never sustainable.” Until now, that is. In the summer of 2012, Reda learned that her long-time acquaintance, Jina Schaefer, was walking away from her career in corporate wellness and taking the entrepreneurial path— hanging out her own shingle as a “healthy lifestyle” coach, with a blog called “The Happy Healthy Truth” and an eight-week diet plan called “Get Light.”

“I thought, ‘I’m just gonna give it a chance.’ And within a week, I saw results,” Reda recalls. “That ’s never happened before. It’s really motivating when you see results that quickly. And it didn’t feel like work … the meal plan (and) the workout plan were very easy. I just really stuck with it.” In the year and a half since, Reda says, she’s managed to sustain the 15-pound weight loss she achieved while on the “Get Light” diet, and has seen a host of other benefits, as well: “My skin cleared up … my nails are really long and strong. I have energy. “And the most important thing for me,” she says, her voice cracking with emotion, “was that I felt really good about myself. I’m going to cry just thinking about it.” In the ever-expanding universe of weight-loss programs, the unique nature of Schaefer’s “Get Light” plan can best be described by noting what it isn’t. The adjectives that can’t be applied to Get Light, for example, include: Complicated: There are no diaries to

keep. No complex meals to prepare. No calories to count. No books to read. Rigorous: Schaefer’s program might leave fanatics disappointed. While she encourages clients to avoid meat, dairy and gluten products, she builds in meal breaks, during which dieters can (and are even encouraged to) consume whatever they want. And while physical activity is an important part of her philosophy, Schaefer requires only two hours per week of aerobic exercise; the rest of her movement regimen can be accomplished with take-the-stairsinstead-of-the-elevator type activity. Expensive: Most impressive, perhaps, is the program’s cost. For $40—less than a single month’s membership at many health clubs—clients get Schaefer’s eight-week menu, made up entirely of food available at any grocery store, and a lifetime of access to Schaefer’s personal advice. And that’s it. No “Jina Schaefer” branded products, no Scientology-style advanced-level courses. To Schaefer, a 33-year-old resident of the Longfellow neighborhood in Minneapolis, all this is a matter of common sense. The “happy healthy truth” for which savvy.mn | FEBRUARY 2014

her blog is named, she says, is the fact that weight loss “isn’t rocket science.” When it comes to the dieting and nutrition industry, “There’s so much B.S. out there. Food companies are always saying, ‘This is healthy, this is good for you, this has double the protein, zero trans fat.’ Well, you shouldn’t be eating that food, anyway. We’re bombarded with information about diet supplements, commercials, all that.” By contrast, “I give people the basic education they need to make the right decisions.” For Schaefer’s clients, the “right decisions” begin with an eight-week diet that contains no animal products or processed foods. Fork over $40 and Schaefer provides you with a list of what to buy—almost exclusively f rom the f ruit and vegetable aisles—and easy menus for how to prepare it. But her plan isn’t one-sizefits-all. The $40 entry fee also buys a counseling session with Schaefer, in which she works with clients to establish personal goals, diets and exercise regimens best suited to each individual. “Everyone is so different … their goals, likes, dislikes—and their history with wellness and weight loss.” Clients who hate asparagus are provided with a substitute. Clients who can’t jog are given an alternative form of aerobic exercise. Schaefer does offer one bit of identical advice to every client:

Pay attention to what you eat, and how that makes you feel. “On the meal plan, there are two free meals a week … eat whatever you want. I want them to eat whatever they want.” Because, after a few days on a vegan diet, when you “give in to that free meal and have eight burgers, you’re going to feel like crap. You’ll have the motivation not to eat like that again.” In her first two weeks as a client of Get Light, “I was swearing at Jina,” recalls Molly Arnold, a corporate recruiter who was among the first of Schaefer’s clients. “I’m a Minnesota girl. I love my red meat … and had you talked to me back in 2010, I would’ve told you, ‘I’ll never stop drinking milk.’ Skim milk was in my bloodline; we’d bring home five gallons of milk and we’d easily drink it in a day.” But because Schaefer’s diet includes nine to 15 servings per day of produce, “you don’t get hungry.” And after the first two weeks on Get Light, Arnold says she didn’t miss meat or dairy products. Schaefer’s program is “real life,” Arnold says. “If you’re eating plant-based food … not processed—staying away from the junk in a box—you’re going to lose weight. That’s the way humans are supposed to eat.” Now that she’s no longer on Schaefer’s plan, Arnold admits to occasionally indulging in meat. And sure enough, just as Schaefer warned her, she comes away from such meals “feeling really bloated.” Schaefer “tells you how it is. There’ll be those weeks you’ll mess up. You’ll drink 10 beers. But the next time you reach for something, it’ll be a healthier choice than the one you made previously.” Get Light does take some effort. Over

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“

Everyone is so different … their goals, likes, dislikes—and their history with wellness and weight loss.

”

the full eight-week diet, a typical client will lose 11-12 pounds, and about 10 inches around their body, Schaefer says, but in fact, only about a third of those who sign up actually see the program through to its conclusion. Still, she says, that’s almost double the completion rate of typical diet programs. And those who have graduated from Get Light say the plan continues to affect their lifestyle/ nutrition choices years into the future. “It’s difficult to wrap your head around just how much your diet impacts you,” says Angie Johnson, a 30-year-old Lino Lakes resident who completed Schaefer’s program in 2012. “The thing that surprised me most is that I no longer suffer from seasonal allergies. It honestly feels like a miracle.” Johnson said she tried every pill on the market, but only found true relief by avoiding meat, dairy products and processed food. “I still have the occasional symptoms— and they usually flare up if I’ve been eating poorly—but not nearly as severe … everyone wants to know my secret and when I tell them, they don’t believe me.” In addition to being certified as a personal trainer and group instructor by the American Council on Exercise, Schaefer also holds a diploma from the Minnesota School of Business for massage therapy,

and is a graduate of the 200-hour YogaFit teacher-training program. It ’s those latter qualifications that make Schaefer’s program such an unusual weight-loss program. Rather than focusing strictly on her clients’ body mass index and heart rate, she wants to know what’s going on in their heads—which may ultimately have the greatest impact on their health. “How do you deal with stress? That’s the No. 1 derailer” of good diets and other healthy habits, Schaefer says. What matters, long-term, is “being able to tie how you feel, physically and emotionally, to the food you’re eating and the exercise you’re doing.” Those who really pay attention to what they’re feeling can learn to short-circuit stress reactions and the impulse behavior that results. Schaefer, in fact, describes her plan as a lesson in mindfulness—based on meditation techniques rooted in ancient Buddhist practices—“disguised as a weight-loss program.” Through “meditation-like activities … you get to know yourself, and good health becomes intuitive. When you get caught up in how much you weigh, nutrition can become very confusing. But if you get in touch with what feels good to you, it becomes intuitive.” Johnson said the meditation aspect of Schaefer’s program—just sitting still and focusing on the present moment, rather than planning the future or remembering the past—was actually harder than the diet. But it’s now the aspect she most appreciates. “Jina does a great job explaining why it feels so uncomfortable … to meditate, and that encouraged me to not feel so awkward about it. And it was uncomfortable, at first. But as time went on, I began to crave that blissful calm and peace.

EXERCISE THE SCHAEFER WAY An exercise program need not be elaborate. What’s important, Schaefer says, is to move—on average, about an hour every day. Each week, you should strive to get: FOUR HOURS OF CARDIOVASCULAR EXERCISE This is heart-pounding, sweat-inducing exercise. Think of a very brisk walk up a hill, a run, fast bike ride, rollerblading, swimming, etc. ONE OR TWO STRENGTH TRAINING SESSIONS These are exercises that focus on working specific muscle groups. This can be done with or without weights or by doing strength-based yoga. Your heart rate will elevate, but not as much as it will during cardiovascular exercise. TWO HOURS OF LIGHT ACTIVITY These activities should be light in effort, enjoyable and geared towards hobbies or an active lifestyle such as an easy walk, taking the steps instead of the elevator, gardening, paddling a kayak or canoe, an easy bike ride, gentle yoga, even parking in the back of the lot and walking the rest of the way to work. Schaefer emphasizes that slow change is the most realistic way to establish permanent patterns. Her exercise program calls for slowly increasing the amount of activity clients get each week.

“I was living a life of scarcity and negativity. Now I live a life of abundance and joy.”

Scott Fagerstrom is a Twin Cities-based freelance writer. Send feedback to editor@ savvy.mn.

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relationships | dating

Stephanie Kotelnicki tells her story of zero tolerance.

BY STEPHANIE KOTELNICKI Alison was standing in the hallway of our apartment complex, fighting off tears as I consoled her with an empathetic hug. “He’s been sending me nasty text messages,” she said. “He was trying to convince me to let him live here because he doesn’t have a job and he’s been crashing with friends,” she told me. “For the past week he keeps asking me to drive out to the suburbs, pick him up and take him places because he doesn’t have a car.” She had only known him for a week. And yet he has been sending text messages insulting Allison because she didn’t want to live with him already. “Basically you’ve been playing with a child-hulk,” I told her. “Coined by yours truly, child-hulk is a term used to describe little boys who masquerade as men. Childhulks start by chasing you around the playground and tugging at your hair, but what sets them apart from other boys is what happens when you upset them. Then they just start to rip your hair right out. They are walking, talking, insulting little snots who get mad at you because, at some point, you ‘rejected’ them.” There are times I think we stand witness to another person’s experience in order to prepare for our own. My conversation with Alison was certainly a precursor to the strength I would need to maintain while dealing with my own child-hulk, Matt. Matt was a salesman who lived in a hip-

FEBRUARY 2014 | savvy.mn

ster area of Minneapolis, which was funny because he was a sports fanatic who used the word “brah” instead of “bro.” His clean-cut writing skills and ease of conversation stood out amongst all the grammatically-challenged inbox messages I received to my dating profile. He seemed like a good guy. Or so I thought. The first time we spoke I noticed Matt liked to give “friendly jabs,” often at my expense. Whether it was about my dating process or my column, the jabs came from right field, left field and straight down the center. People get nervous during first encounters. I’m certainly guilty of that, I thought. Anyway, he isn’t as sarcastic as other guys I’ve been involved with, and he made me laugh on a couple of occasions, so why not give him a shot? “I’m amazing at getting out of speeding tickets,” he bragged on our first date. “In the last three years I’ve gotten pulled over 27 times and have walked away ticket free for at least 25 of them.” “That’s…impressive…” I said, stirring my drink and giving a friendly smile. “You’re lucky you’re cute, otherwise…” He said that a lot. As if the few words that came out of my mouth were laughable or tolerable solely because I was cute. I was beginning to feel like it was the 1950s. “I really feel like we are on the same page; we have so much in common,” he continued. He said that even more, which confused me because we didn’t watch any of the same

shows, like the same music, or the same hobbies. I began to wonder if his repetition of that sentence was some sort of subliminal sales tactic. By the end of the night I still felt lukewarm about the chemistry. He wasn’t a wrong romantic fit, but he didn’t feel right either. I turned to my co-worker for advice. “Three dates,” she advised me. “Unless they’re crazy, try giving them three dates.” So I agreed to a second date; after all, he didn’t seem crazy. But then the child-hulk appeared. “You’ve been quiet this week,” he wrote to me in an IM a week after our first date. Outside of this we hadn’t had any contact. No calls, no texts. Just this: a message through a Gmail application. I’m no fool; I know a lack of communication means a lack of interest. It just didn’t bother me much since it was mutual. “It’s been a busy week,” I said casually. “And you know what they say, communication is a two-way street.” “I tried messaging you all week and never heard anything back.” “I didn’t receive any messages from you,” I replied, utterly confused. “I haven’t heard from you since last weekend.” “Well, I texted you on Tuesday!” “If you were that upset about it you could have just called me,” I said. “Don’t put the blame on me…” Before I could inquire about why “blame” was even part of the conversation and why

he was being so aggressive, his next message popped up. “You’re being a bitch.” My eyes narrowed when I read it. Absolutely not, I thought. There is no room for name-calling in a relationship, let alone after a first date with someone who has been completely self-involved. Cue the childhulk zero-tolerance policy! Someone tell me the time because this encounter is D-O-N-E! “Lose my number. Thanks.” “Stay classy, Steph,” he said. “You probably need to change your attitude if you really want to find someone.” Actually, it’s been serving me quite well the last year, I thought. I’ve learned a lot, and that includes having a zero-tolerance policy for child-hulks like you. I chuckled. Little did he know, I already had changed my attitude. I began to recall the end of my conversation with Alison, and how empowering her had helped me empower myself. “His attacks are completely unfounded,” I had told her. “You did the right thing by cutting him loose.” “I know,” she nodded. “If these are his true colors, it’s definitely not worth it.” “Good!” I cheered her on. “There are plenty of fish in the sea, Alison, and not all of them are crazy.” It’s true, I thought. And now I have one less crazy to deal with.

Stephanie Kotelnicki is truly terrified that someday she will be “that old lady with cats.” Not because she is afraid of being old, or lonely, but simply because she does not really care for cats. She thought it made sense to write this column because she is one of many single women traversing the complicated terrain that is dating, love, sex and life. In the short amount of time she’s spent on this planet she’s learned the following: It isn’t fun to date boys who don’t like it when you win at card games. Friends are your best resource for support and fun but they can also drive you a little crazy. People will always ask, “Why?” after you ask them, “What is your astrological sign?” And finally, no matter how tenderhearted Stephanie may be, her foot almost always ends up in her mouth.

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love & life | transformations

Carpe Diem HOW JASMINE STRINGER OF MINNEAPOLIS SAW HER PINK SLIP AS A LESSON AND REINVENTED HERSELF. BY LIV LANE

hen Jasmine Stringer’s sales job got cut in 2012, she cried once and then decided to seize the day. The Minneapolis lifestyle blogger and business consultant saw her pink slip as a sign that she needed to learn how to go with the flow. “I used to stress so much over everything,” she said. “So much so that my mom used to say I was going to give myself an aneurysm. I was so rigid; I knew exactly what I wanted and I thought that if I did what I was ‘supposed to’ do, it would all happen.” For a while, it did. Stringer graduated from college with a complete plan for her life. She’d mapped out every detail including her career path, her salary and a certainty that she’d be married by age 27. All went as planned, until a serious relationship crumbled; she was more heartbroken over her failed goal than the failed relationship. “When I look back at it now, I am so happy I didn’t get married because I wasn’t myself at the time,” she said. “I wasn’t living authentically.” In retrospect, Stringer sees the same was true in her work life. Before being laid off, she’d felt increasingly uneasy about her corporate job, due in part to some ups and downs with her manager. At one point, she received some feedback that to be a leader, she’d need

FEBRUARY 2014 | savvy.mn

to stop smiling so much. So she did. “I was stomping around, f rowning, really dimming my light,” she said. “I was trying to be somebody I’m not. Sometimes in being flexible, we conform and lose our authenticity.” Stringer leaned on her faith, praying for a solution. “When (the layoff ) happened, I felt like my prayer was answered,” Stringer said. “I shed tears that day, but I was actually relieved.” Stringer launched back into planning mode, sure she knew the best route to her next job. But when an acquaintance asked her to do some consulting work for a few

days in New York, Stringer obliged – and wound up working on that project for nearly a year. She realized the flexibility that freelancing afforded her, and began to take on other clients while leaving space in her schedule for one of her passions, travel. In the past year alone, she’s visited nine countries. Stringer has also taken four trips to connect with one of her role models, Oprah Winfrey. In fact, on the day Stringer got laid off, she received an invitation to lunch with the media mogul. Stringer was a founding member of a social media group called OWN Ambassadors (now called

OWNers), comprised of mega-fans of Winfrey’s cable network, OWN. Stringer says her interactions with Winfrey have taught her to go with the flow. To document her adventures and share how she’s embracing authentic joy in her life, Stringer launched a blog, Carpe Diem with Jasmine (carpediemwithjasmine.com). “I describe my journey as a faith walk because there’s a lot of uncertainty in it,” she said. “But I’m more open to things now. I’m choosing not to fear, but to expect the best.” And that plan seems to be working like a charm.

Liv Lane calls herself a Human Sparker, devoted to helping women define and ignite their inner sparks – the traits, talents and passions that light them up from the inside out. Through her soulstirring classes and speeches, intuitive guidance sessions and uplifting blog, she has inspired thousands of women to embrace their own gifts and find the gifts in each day. Find her online at LivLane.com.

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FEBRUARY 2014 | savvy.mn

love & life | intuition

Explore

YOUR INTUITION with Jodi Livon

odi Livon, author of The Happy Medium, intuitive coach and resident psychic at Twin Cities Live, says everyone is intuitive. Each month readers ask Livon about their questions around intuition and all things supernatural. In this month’s edition, readers ask about dating, dreams and gender. How do you use your intuition while dating? Love is really something. In fact, it’s everything. We put a lot on the line when we’re dating. The cool thing is we can use our intuition as an internal alarm system to help ward off unnecessary risk. Keeping us safe is part of its job! The combination of love and physical attraction seem to send most of our better judgment sailing. Remember, wisdom and intuition are partners; let them both do their job. W hen embarking on a new love adventure, ask your gut, heart, and head to converse. When you think about this new love venture, do you feel butterflies or nausea in your stomach? Does the mere thought of the date make you feel light or heavy? Do you have a headache after meeting with him or her or feel light? Your intuition will speak to you through these feelings and you can do the math to learn about what they mean.

I’ve had a question that I’d always wanted to ask. I have had dreams of being in my old home, and as I pass through the familiar spaces, I move slowly, afraid. I hear sounds and it feels like there is a spirit about to show itself. I’m wondering, do I miss my home so much that I am the spirit that’s “haunting” the space while dreaming? You may indeed be visiting your old ‘haunts’ in an effort to find resolution to a past event. And if this is the case, yes, those who are more attuned to the higher energies could sense your presence. Another explanation is that perhaps you are a truly thoughtful person who is aware of the more subtle energies around you, including spirit energy, but couldn’t process it until now. Dreams come to you to remind you of what you knew then so that you can use that knowledge now. You are being called to view life from a higher perspective.

their brains are hardwired. Active emotion and ego desire completely misalign intuitive data. Conversely, intuitive insights are often so illogical; the information can be easily ignored. Unless, however, the one receiving the data is open to the illogical and willing to learn to read the colorful, energetic signs. Women are typically open to feeling their emotions, so they are similarly open to what seems to be unreasoned psychic data. Both men and women have the ability to be intuitive; their methodology in using it appears to be vastly different. The real question is who is willing to hone the skill and use it.

Send your questions for Jodi Livon to Savvy Editor in Chief Britt Johnsen and your question may appear in an upcoming edition of the magazine. Livon can’t answer every question but she’s grateful to receive all of them. Johnsen is at editor@savvy.mn or Are there any statistics about men’s (952) 345-6387. intuition compared with women’s intuition? What are your thoughts on this? There has been a fair amount of research Jodi Livon is an author, resident psychic at Twin on this subject. Females have historically Cities Live, and she’s an been referred to as the more intuitive gender. intuitive coach for the Ironically, a number of studies show that men business sector. She may be more intuitive than women. Essenalso offers readings for tially, this could be because their decisions are individuals. Her website is based on logic and hard information rather TheIntuitiveCoach.com. than emotion. This has to do with the way savvy.mn | FEBRUARY 2014

love & life | astrology

savvy sun signs

ARIES MARCH 21 - APRIL 19 Your growing edge this month: learning that you are not alone in creating a new world. Even though you are ready to act before others are comfortable, that does not mean you are alone. Mars and Venus have been enhancing the value of relationships. And yours are shifting quite a bit. It is helpful to wait for your partners to catch up with you. Your energy and impatience are high the 3rd and 4th. Learn to laugh at mix-ups involving communication this month as Mercury travels retrograde. The Full Moon on the 14th could ignite some conflicts, so channel that passion into deliberate action. Take time to clarify your desires on the 16th.

TAURUS APRIL 20 - MAY 20 Your growing edge this month: opening to change. There is a fine line between knowing when to hold firmly to the status quo and when to release that hold to welcome in a new way. You’ve just completed a period of reflection as your ruling planet Venus traveled retrograde from December through the end of January. Now, you can move forward with what you have learned. The 5th and 6th are power days for you to use your discernment about change. The Full Moon on the 14th could feel challenging as there may be a lot of adjustments to be made. Notice what brings you joy on the 24th.

GEMINI MAY 21 - JUNE 21 Your growing edge this month: remaining nimble as you shift between heart-centered feelings and visionary thoughts. You may feel more vulnerable when you stop to empathize with others. These feelings run deep and have a huge influence on what you can do to create a better world. Your ruling planet, Mercury stations retrograde in empathic Pisces on the 6th and then moves back into the intellectual sign of Aquarius on the 12th. Notice the shift between your heart and mind most strongly on the 7th through the 9th. Both are gifts—how will you integrate them? You have the rest of the month to think about this. Mercury will station direct on the 28th. Peak days are the 16th for action and the 19th for serious work.

CANCER JUNE 22 - JULY 22 Your growing edge this month: not taking things personally. It has been a challenging few months, hasn’t it? You may be wondering who signed you up for the marathon. Rest assured, it isn’t about you. You are simply more sensitive to the shifting realities happening in the world. Get your priorities straight, which will involve taking care of your home and family. Be aware that communication mix-ups are expected since Mercury retrogrades for most of the month. Spend time at home on the 10th and 11th to recharge. Expect to feel sensitive on the 23rd and 24th. Self-care helps you weather stress that pops up on the 26th. You feel optimistic again on the 28th.

LEO JULY 23 - AUGUST 22 Your growing edge this month: learning to wear your heart on your sleeve. You get new insight about your need for passion and romance this month. The Full Moon on Valentine’s Day is a perfect time to show someone you love that you aren’t afraid to reveal your true feelings. Embrace the romance. Don’t be discouraged by crossed signals due to Mercury retrograding this month. But don’t ignore clear messages either. This could be the perfect opportunity to let your vulnerable side be seen and to ask for what you need. Others are feeling the frustration about communication too. Compassion can spark the flames of desire. You are feeling more sensitive after the 18th. The 23rd is time to listen to your heart.

VIRGO AUGUST 23 - SEPTEMBER 22 Your growing edge this month: changing perspective when you reach a dead end. It is time for you to develop a new way of looking at things. Mercury, your ruling planet stations retrograde on the 6th provoking confusing conversations fro us all. The mix-ups are just asking you to find a fresh point of view. You are eager to put systems into place that make life easier, so try to develop more patience. Look for relief to setbacks on the 15th and 16th. Not until Mercury turns direct on the 28th, do you understand what you were missing. This is when you begin to put the pieces back together.

FEBRUARY 2014 | savvy.mn

love & life | astrology Teri Parsley Starnes is a professional astrologer living in Minneapolis. Her monthly horoscope is written exclusively for Savvy readers. Learn more about Starnes’ business, Starsdance Astrology, at starsdanceastrology.com.

Read more in astrology online at savvy.mn

LIBRA SEPTEMBER 23 - OCTOBER 23 Your growing edge this month: reframing how you do conflict. Mars is preparing to turn retrograde in Libra on March 1st, which continues until May when Mars turns direct again. This month you begin to notice what this retrograde journey will mean to you. Do you need to reassert your own needs and desires in your relationships? Peak moments come all month, especially on the Full Moon on Valentine’s Day. You may expect harmony yet wind up having to deal with conflict. Find your own balance again on the 17th. A dynamic configuration of planets on the 18th will ask us all to find the calm center in potential storms.

SCORPIO OCTOBER 24 - NOVEMBER 22 Your growing edge this month: appreciating the unexpected. There are two ways to approach uncertainty: try to control the outcome or enjoy the surprises. You will notice this choice strongly this month as you seek to understand others. One of the problems is that you see too much. Try to take things at face value. Mercury retrograding through Aquarius will challenge you. You notice discomfort on the 11th. The Full Moon on Valentine’s Day presents emotional undercurrents. You relax more when the Sun enters Pisces on the 18th. The best days this month for you are the 21st and 22nd. Your wisdom flourishes.

SAGITTARIUS NOVEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 21 Your growing edge this month: developing patience. You are ready for an adventure, or at least to get some new plans initiated, but first you must adjust to the temporary setbacks that come with a Mercury retrograde (from the 6th to the 28th). In the long run, you will be glad that you had the chance to give your plans a second thought. The big lessons for you are about meeting the challenge of major confrontation. You need to stick up for yourself. Open to inspiration on the 22nd and especially on the 23rd. Knowing what you want helps you gain speed on the 26th. Get ready to shift gears.

CAPRICORN DECEMBER 22 - JANUARY 19 Your growing edge this month: trusting the voice of inspiration that comes from collaboration. Capricorns have been enjoying the company of Venus since early November—a longer than usual span of time. With this final month of Venus in Capricorn, you have the opportunity to engage more fully with others to accomplish your goals. Appreciate your partnerships. They help you make valuable progress. You feel ready to get down to business on the 11th. Be aware that communication is tricky due to Mercury retrograde this month. This may be most challenging on the 19th. However, by the 24th you have solved your problems and are moving forward.

AQUARIUS JANUARY 20 - FEBRUARY 18 Your growing edge this month: learning patience and surrendering to the process. You have lots of ideas and ready plans for making them happen. But with Mercury moving retrograde for most of the month in your sign, you first need to make sure to dot your “i’s” and cross your “t’s.” Think of the unexpected delays as opportunities to make your vision even better. Take a moment on the 11th to think about your long-term goals. On the 14th and 15th, you suddenly realize how to spread your excitement about future projects. Find a way to make it fun and meaningful for everyone. Life could change suddenly near the end of the month (26th through 28th). Embrace the possibilities.

PISCES FEBRUARY 19 - MARCH 20 Your growing edge this month: reflecting on your life’s mission. Your birthday is coming. When the Sun enters Pisces on the 18th, you begin to set goals. Where has your journey taken you and where do you wish to go next? The first week of February you have the opportunity to see things in a new way if you are observant. Notice your desire to help others. How can you be most effective? When Mercury turns retrograde in your sign on the 6th, you get in touch with brings you joy and what annoys you. Follow the unexpected path to your next steps. The New Moon in Pisces on the first of March is the real beginning.

savvy.mn | FEBRUARY 2014

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