Tale of a Whale

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TALE OF A WHALE

by Matt Mazza

The Coyote, The Chicken And The Whale

MATT MAZZA PONDERS HIS PLACE IN THE PECKING ORDER AS HE AND THE GIRLS HEAD OUT TO SEA ON THE CONDOR EXPRESS, P.16 SBVIEW.COM PAGE 10

PRESIDIOSPORTS PAGE 18

GOLETA GIRL PAGE 25

image by Robert Perry - CondorExpressPhotos.com

“S

o, then I guess the question is whether you’re the coyote, the chicken… or the whale?” my clearly bewildered compatriot asked, obviously confused but still (apparently) interested.

“Precisely,” I retorted with an academic’s emphasis. “That is indeed the question.”

We’d been sitting at the bar at Three Pickles on Canon Perdido for almost an entire hour, enjoying our lunch and Bob Lovejoy’s quick wit, my friend in a suit – no tie, he’s come too far for such formality – and immaculately buffed dress shoes, me in jeans and a Pendleton (and Birkenstocks), lost deep in conversation about life and business and wives and kids and balance.

I knew the answer for my friend beyond any doubt; he’s all whale, through and through. Slow and steady, always forward, building a career with chartable trajectory and careful planning. Safe.

Reliable. A behemoth, nearly unstoppable in his ambition.

But also quite predictable.

I was a whale, too, once. Predictable.

Steady.

Suddenly it was less clear. ...continued p.5

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Content

Cover P.6 P.7 P.8 P.9 P.10

Mazza’s Missive – A coyote, a chicken or a whale. Well, which are you?

Manimal Matt Mazza explores his inner beast.

r e s t a u r a n t unique mexican dining experience

It’s Crime Time with SBPD – We’re off to see the Wizard, the Wonderful Wizard of Ick. (Eeewwww!)

Letters to the Editor – Attorney Darryl Genis lets it rip on DUIs in California; Ann Pless likes the Sentinel so much she’s supporting our advertisers to prove it; Larry Bond sets the record straight on the Second Amendment (really great article you sent, Larry, thanks).

The Dish – State & Fig in La Arcada opens for dinner and puts out quite a meal for Wendy Jenson. (That Italian Porchetta looks amazing, our collective mouth is watering.)

The Beer Guy – Zach Rosen attends a Brewmaster Dinner at Telegraph Brewing Co. How’d it stack up? (Spoiler Alert: Every Sentinel writer wants to cover the next such event at Telegraph. How can we work it into Crime Time?)

S anta Barbara View – Sharon Byrne reports on Eastside infrastructure improvements and funding; Loretta Redd is back and frustrated with flying; Ray Estrada (and others) think this year’s SBIFF was the most lucrative to date, and the Contemporary Arts Forum’s $1 million raffle gets going… so go get your tickets before they’re gone.

unique mexican dining experience

805.564.2626 600 n. milpa s, santa barbar a m o n - f r i 1 1 a m – 9 p m • S at - S u n 9 a m - 9 p m

P.12 P.15 P.18 P.22 P.25 P.28 P.29 P.30

I n the Garden with Mr. Greenjeans – Randy Arnowitz, sarcastic gardener.

(Terrific.) The Case of the Mysterious Lawn Circles befuddles him. (We think.)

an About Town – Mark Leisure is back and excited for all SB has to offer in M the performing arts during the next week. Can you spot him out on the streets?

P residio Sports – SBART Athletes of the Week, Presidio Sports’ Volunteer of the Month and all the latest and greatest in local sports.

F ilm Festival Finale – Julie Bifano is back with a few (zillion) more photos from SBIFF 2013. (Nice work again, Julie, thanks. What’s next?)

oleta Girl – See Jana Mackin’s softer side (after that horse poop and DUI story G last week) in her Valentine to Old Town. (Good one, Jana, enjoyed it.)

ou Have Your Hands Full – Mara is a screamer. Hang on, let’s try that again.

Y MARA IS A SCREAMER! Check it out in The Stepford Wives.

L OVEmikana – Holy Valentine’s Day! From a beefed up love-based Weekend Guide to features on Elizabeth Colling’s Pop-up Chocolate Boutique at Maison K and an all-ladies wine tasting at Vino Divino, our favorite local birds drop the skinny on all sorts of great V-Day stuff around town. Hey LOVEmikana, be ours. esidential Real Estate – Spoiler alert: Interest rates affect the housing R market. (Oh, wait, you already knew that?) Get some knowledge and a few of Michael’s faves this week – and actually see what owning a home might cost you with Justin’s numbers.

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domesticated. Our chickens literally come when they are called – here chicky chicky chicky, here chicky chicky chicky (in a high-pitched musical voice) – and follow us around and are generally part of the family.

We love those damned birds. Their eggs are divine, with bright yellow/orange yolks that stand straight up. Poached, soft boiled, on salads or burgers… you name it.

Like I said, we love those damned birds.

We love them so much that they roam free. I mean, don’t get me wrong, they have a pretty deluxe coop for bedtime, made from a friend’s kids’ playhouse (thanks Pawl family, we miss you so come home from Texas already) that is connected to a reasonably large aviary that Uncle Ryan and Wendi and I built when we moved in. But all day long, our chickens have the yard to themselves.

Free range, baby, totally organic. Uncaged chickens. Happy chickens.

Chickens totally susceptible to predators of all shapes and sizes.

MAZZA’S MISSIVE ...continued from COVER So what the hell am I then, I thought. And I took a bite of my hot Lobero with turkey.

The Chicken Maybe it’s best if I start at the beginning.

I have a home office. No, not some back bedroom with a desk and a bed for guests who drink too much (or parents or in-laws who, ah… stay too much), but a real office with a separate entrance on its own level. A place where I can meet or entertain clients and take calls and generally practice law – even pound the table when necessary – and write and do the other things I need to do from a more “professional” position.

The whole idea was efficiency. I’d be around the house more, see the kids more, eat more meals at home, avoid leasing space downtown (again), avoid driving to and fro, hither and yon.

And it’s mostly worked very well.

But that’s not always the case.

There’re lots of things at the house to get in my way, you see, lots of distractions, if you

F E B R UA RY 8 – 1 5 | 2 0 1 3 |

The Coyote Buttercup the chicken, after being heroically rescued by Matt amidst an almost-fatal coyote attack (good thing you were there, Matt, she looks really roughed up).

will. There’s my wife, of course, wonderfully distracting as she is, and there’s the couch and a novel or a walk with the dog or another coffee in the kitchen.

And there’re the chickens.

We keep four of them – Bertha, Buttercup, Goa and New York (the latter named by our youngest, Kate) – and they are fully

Everyone we know with chickens has lost one or two (dozen, amazingly, in the case of the Rameson family). But not us. We have a perfect record, four for four, for months and months now. And I’ll admit it, we got cocky (no pun intended). We got comfortable. We got careless. (So did our chickens.)

And we quite nearly paid a high price.

I was diligently working at the practice of law early one afternoon last week when I heard some entirely irregular clucking. Big

egg, I thought and chuckled.

Then I heard even more desperate clucking, faster. Whoa, I paused, twins?

(Picture me giggling by myself in my office.)

Then I glanced over my shoulder down into the yard and I saw it. A chicken apocalypse.

So much for the efficiency of the home office.

There were chickens running every which way and feathers floating through the air (like some surreal girly slumber party) and stressed clucking and quasi-flying.

And in the middle of it all, there was a hungry imposter.

A young coyote, working hard for lunch.

He was moving rapidly and a chicken slaughter was imminent. I was mesmerized for only a moment, then snapped back to reality by the thought of telling my innocent young daughters that Buttercup and New York had been eaten by a wild animal while they were at school and their Daddy was too busy working to protect their precious pets.

I sprang into action.

Truth be told, I haven’t moved that quickly since Kate was born.

I sprinted down the exterior stairs, past the sleeping Bucky (damned dog!), and in one singular motion snatched a few large rocks without breaking stride and began hurling them as if possessed by some sort of (still legal) high-capacity firearm while screaming profane insults in the direction of the beast, all with the wild eyes of the lunatic and the heart rate of the sexually ...continued p.16

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It'sCrimetime... ...with the SBPD

A variety of crimes are committed every day in Santa Barbara; most of these crimes are petty but they do offer a window into if not the soul of the perpetrator, at least his or her thought process. Our following (and totally unsolicited) thoughts, observations, and comments are put forth for your consideration.

The Wizard of Ick

S

anta Barbara is an idyllic paradise in many ways, marked by beautiful beaches, towering mountains, terrific temperate weather, unique and aesthetically pleasing architecture and a generally prideful and jovial local bunch of humans. You can almost see yellow brick roads winding their way through our grand promenades and foothills and sandy shores, kissed by the sun. Shimmering. Glimmering.

Simmering.

In fact, we imagine that right now, at this very moment, there are pleasant people readying themselves for an admirable afternoon or engaging evening on the town. We can almost hear their conversations, almost…

“Do you suppose we’ll meet any wild animals,” the sweet and innocent UCSB student in the (sensually short and taut but otherwise prudish) blue skirt and matching top practically sings to her friends.

“We might,” says the frat boy in the grey suit.

“Animals that eat…freshmen?” questions the frightened young man in shabby rags.

“Ah, some…but mostly transients, drunkards and thugs,” replies the frat boy.

“Transients?” she’s nervous, playing with her hair.

“Drunkards?” the freshman tugs on his rags, uncomfortably.

“And thugs,” the frat boy reminds them.

“Transients, drunkards and thugs…oh my!”

They begin walking anxiously down one of our beautiful yellow brick roads.

“Transients, drunkards and thugs…oh my!”

Faster now.

“Transients, drunkards and thugs…oh my!”

“Ahahgjfikkjsdakjf!”

A drunken man suddenly emerges from the bushes and threatens a fight. “I’m the Wizard,” he slurs, “the Wonderful Wizard of Ick. I’ve been waiting for you… got any

Editor-in-Chief • Matt Mazza Design/Production • Trent Watanabe Contributing Partners Opinion • sbview.com Sports • Presidiosports.com Santa Barbara Skinny • LoveMikana.com

Columnists

Goleta Girl • Jana Mackin | She Has Her Hands Full • Mara Peters Plan B • Briana Westmacott | The Dish • Wendy Jenson Journal Jim • James Buckley | Real Estate • Michael Calcagno Commercial Corner • Austin Herlihy | The Weekly Capitalist • Jeff Harding Man About Town • Mark Leisure | In The Garden • Randy Arnowitz The Beer Guy • Zach Rosen | The Mindful Word • Diana M. Raab Girl About Town • Julie Bifano | The Party Lurk • Peter Festivus

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spare change?”

Our friends look around for help but there’s none to be found. Instead, the quickly surrounding masses begin yelling, “Do not arouse the wrath of the great and powerful Ick! Pay no attention to the man behind the bushes!”

Just another weekend in our beloved Santa Barbara.

“Indetectable” Drugs CRIME: SBPD spotted a known (transient) criminal with multiple warrants out for his

arrest just before noon one day last week. After a short chase, officers apprehended the man and searched his backpack, where they found all sorts of criminal and drug-related implements.

OBSERVATION: In particular, SBPD “found several needle-syringe combinations in the backpack, as well as an aluminum can bottom with charring.” Reportedly, “those items are paraphernalia for indetectable drugs.”

COMMENT: Hey, wait a second, there are indetectable drugs that troublemakers are using on our streets? What sorts of drugs are “indetectable?” Can you get in trouble for them? If so, then how are they detected for prosecution? And why didn’t any of us know about them during our experimental college years? And what about Barry Bonds?

Lance Armstrong? Who knows? Who cares? Too bad for our friend that the heroin they found next to all the “indetectable” stuff was all too detectable. We guess you can’t win them all.

There’s No Place Like Home CRIME: A 22-year-old Poway man was found throwing up on State Street at midnight.

Not only that, but it turns out he was unaware of his location and didn’t know how to get home. He was detained for public intoxication (and his own safety).

OBSERVATION: Hmmm…is this actually the Wizard?

COMMENT: No, really he’s more of a cross between the Wizard of Ick and our Dorothy (confused, not sure where home is). Maybe he should have clicked his ruby red slippers together a few times.

Detachable Private Parts CRIME: Officers watched a man known to be on full-search probation staggering toward

a halfway house (oops, I mean a Sober Living Center). They stopped him and found a couple syringes in his sock. He was arrested for all sorts of stuff, including violating probation.

OBSERVATION: Upon a more detailed (uncomfortable?) search, SBPD found “a device in his crotch” containing fluid to defeat urine tests.

COMMENT: We truly have no idea what this device – or fluid for that matter – may have been. A detatchable male private part loaded with, ah, the urine of an innocent fawn, perhaps? In any event, it reminds us of an old yarn about a friend in high school – let’s call him Jeff Spicoli – who had to pass a drug test for a new job at a hardware store. (Why they were drug testing for a job selling shovels and ladders, we have no idea.) Jeff enjoyed marijuana quite a bit at the time, and knew he couldn’t pass. But he needed the job. (No, not to feed his “addiction to marijuana” for all you anti-tokers out there. He needed the job to pay for his new car.) So he literally duct-taped a microwaved cup of one of our 12-year-old brother’s clean bodily fluid to his thigh, walked in and “took” the test. He passed with the cleanest (and hottest) sample the world has ever seen for a high school kid from Santa Rosa. And he’s still got the burn mark on his inner thigh to prove it.

Drunk (Non) Driver CRIME: A drunken Solvang man was so intoxicated that he fell asleep in a cab and had to be physically removed by the cabdriver. (Tough job, man, seriously.) Guess the charge.

OBSERVATION: Our friend may have actually avoided arrest but, after coming to outside the cab, he began yelling at passersby. Then he got up, walked over to some poor family’s front porch, and peed all over it. That pretty much sealed his fate.

COMMENT: Hey Darryl Genis (see Letters to the Editor), does this conduct fit the definition of DUI? At least he wasn’t driving, right?

Gang Banger (With Fries) CRIME: A young member of the Traviesos Eastside Gang named Little Oso (that’s Little

Bear for all of you mono-linguistic types out there) stole a twelve pack of beer – a “twack” to the kiddies these days – from a Milpas liquor store. He was tracked by store employees and eventually arrested for theft and all sorts of other bad things.

OBSERVATION: First of all, every time we think of Little Bear, we think of that horrible children’s cartoon with a whiny bear who cries to a bunch of other animals and is afraid of everything that moves. Not exactly the tough guy image. More importantly, though, this kid works as a cashier at a McDonalds here in town. Great…supersize me.

COMMENT: Hey kid, you’ve got a job and that’s a good first step. Now stop with the beer runs and gang banging, go to school and do something positive. Hey, we have an idea, there’s this great kid’s cartoon you could write for…

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Letters

Although you might not believe it, we actually want to hear from you. So if you have something you think we should know about or you see something we've said that you think is cretinous (or perspicacious, to be fair), then let us know. There's no limit on words or subject matter, so go ahead and let it rip to: Santa Barbara Sentinel, Letters to the Editor, 133 East De La Guerra Street, No. 182, Santa Barbara, California 93101. You can also leap into the 21st century and email us at letters@santabarbarasentinel.com.

On Driving Under the Influence

M

att – I represented Jana Mackin (the Sentinel’s Goleta Girl) in connection with her DUI charges last year and read her piece, A Lesson Learned in the Goodland (Vol. 2 Issue 4), with great interest. I thought I’d write with a few thoughts and comments.

DUI is a political crime, and its laws are fueled by real and strong but misguided emotion. The definition of ‘Driving Under the Influence’ is the same today in our MADD, MADD world where the law presumes that everyone is under the influence at low levels of 0.08% BAC as it was 70 years ago when the presumption that everyone was under the influence was set at nearly double the present limit (0.15%). That definition is as follows: “A person is under the influence of alcohol, if as a result of consuming an alcoholic beverage or beverages, his/her brain, muscles or nervous system is affected to such an appreciable degree that she/he has lost the ability to drive with the caution characteristic of an ordinary person under the same, or similar, circumstances.”

Neither human physiology with regard to alcohol absorption and elimination nor its psychoactive effects have changed in all those years. Cars have become easier to drive (ABS brakes, auto steering, auto parking, power steering etc.), yet the ‘legal limit’ keeps coming down from .15 to .10 to .08 and MADD has a zero tolerance goal. (It has after all turned into a neo-prohibitionist movement, which is precisely why its founder Candie Lightner has denounced her non-profit creation.

And she too was later convicted of DUI.) Nobody wants someone behind the wheel of thousands of pounds of steel powered by hundreds of horsepower if their brain muscles or nervous system has really been so appreciably diminished that they have really lost the ability to drive like an ordinary person. But an ordinary person does not always drive perfectly. Most ‘accidents,’ including fatal accidents, are caused by simple negligence, not alcohol (or drugs). Driving is a dangerous activity.

It is not natural for a human being to be propelled forward at speeds greater than 8-10 miles per hour. If the contrary were true, we would be able to run that fast.

Consider what is and isn’t allowed when professionals race cars. No passengers, no music, no cell phone, no fast food eating: JUST DRIVING while giving it 100% of the racer’s attention.

The State could pass a law that says zero tolerance that is easily enforceable if it wanted to: No driving within 12 hours of the driver’s last drink (72 hours for alcoholics), mandatory blood draw at the scene (train cops in phlebotomy)

and mandatory lifetime loss of license if convicted on first offense (require DA to only file if BAC test comes back .03% on Dual column Headspace Gas Chromatograph, and require two vials to be collected, one for defense, one for prosecution.)

Such a law would be met with “chicken little-ism” similar to what people were saying when California first banned smoking in public places; many decried the end to the restaurant and bar industry.

But the end never came and smokers have adjusted their behavior quite well, most without quitting (the tobacco companies seem to still be doing a quite robust business).

The State, however, has a vested interest in NOT dealing with what it has time and time again declared to be a problem of epidemic proportion. Why? Simple.

Roughly 1,000 people a day are arrested for DUI in California. Approximately 95% of them are convicted (most without any fight). The average fine is $2,000 (Santa Barbara and SLO are about $1,800, Ventura is about $2,500, check other counties). Do the math: 1,000 arrests X .95% = 950; 950 x $2,000 = $1,900,000 per day; $1.9 million x 365 = approximately $693,500,000 per year in revenue. Without this money the State of California would certainly go bankrupt, as it is practically bankrupt with all that money.

So the State is perfectly happy to have a law that says it is perfectly legal to drink and drive. People hear what they want to hear. The state says it is illegal to drive ...continued p.13

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by Wendy Jenson A former magazine editor, Wendy worked at

Harper’s Bazaar, Glamour, and Us Weekly in NYC, before moving west with Santa Barbara Magazine. Currently a public relations consultant, she relishes being out and about working on this column.

Photos by Wendy Jenson

State & Fig Does Dinner

Italian Porchetta is a fatty, boneless pork roast served with garlic braised kale, port wine fig and shallot sauce; $20.

Patrick Casey and Marisa Moran, the husband-and-wife team behind State & Fig.

mortadella (Italian sausage), fig jam, arugula, and fontina cow’s milk Italian cheese; $9.50.

There are two Plates: Olive Rubbed Chicken served with salsa verde, tapenade, and ratatouille, $13; and Mac ‘n’ Cheese made of fontina, provolone, Parmesan, applewood bacon, and breadcrumbs, $10, add chicken

Roasted organic chicken is plated with grilled vegetables and green olive salsa verde; $18.

T

he significance of the name State & Fig is twofold. The restaurant is located in La Arcada at “State” and “Figueroa” streets. The restaurant’s owners procure, whenever possible, their ingredients from the “State” of California.

Why not? The Golden State is truly golden when it comes to agriculture and vineyards.

Santa Barbara’s La Arcada was built in 1927, old by American standards. Today, it is a flag-and-awning filled plaza with many nice shops and cafés. Upstairs, there are more businesses and offices.

The State & Fig space is heavenly. For 50 years, it was the site of the Church of Our Lady of Sorrows. Today, king-size chandeliers hang from the high ceiling.

There is really nice ironwork, Moroccanstyle tiles, and yards of aged black walnut wood, a gift from the landlord, surprisingly.

A secluded upstairs dining room, with windows off the back, holds up to 40.

Al fresco courtyard diners can hear the fountain in the plaza a few doors down, which is filled with turtles.

State & Fig occupies the former Whale Tail Deli. Owners Marisa Moran and Patrick Casey continue to employ several of the deli’s employees. The Whale Tail’s counter service carried over to State & Fig, but only at breakfast and lunch during the week. And table service is also available.

At weekend brunch and dinner, it’s strictly waiter service.

Patrick grew up in another beautiful place, The Berkshires, Massachusetts. His Italian and Irish family owned The Cricket, a neighborhood diner. At a young age, he began work there as a dishwasher. Patrick went on to study hotel management.

Relocating to Los Angeles, he worked as director of operations at Patina Restaurant Group.

Marisa hails from New Jersey. She earned

State & Fig restaurant resides in La Arcada plaza, built in 1927.

an associate’s degree at culinary school and a bachelor’s in food & nutrition and business.

Like so many others, she catered her way through college. After graduating, she worked her way up to Director of Meetings & Events at the Ritz Carlton Marina Del Rey. Says Marisa, “I know the Ritz-Carlton credo like I know the Pledge of Allegiance.”

The hospitality company is known for its training and principles of service. Tools Marisa no doubt employs at State & Fig. Chef Patrick Casey and Marisa Moran are husband and wife. He’s in the kitchen, and she’s up front; both spend time in the office. They are often asked about being a couple and working together. In their case, it works. “The whole day goes by and we’ve seen each other for two seconds,” says Marisa, laughing. The proud parents

Ricotta gnocchi is served with butternut squash, mushroom ragout, kale, crisp sage, brown butter, and grana padano (a popular cheese in Italy); $17. Made without potato (just ricotta, flour and eggs), the housemade gnocchi is lighter than most.

have a three-year-old son, Kristopher. In a quest for better schools and a more relaxed lifestyle, they moved to Santa Barbara in 2012.

So are figs on the menu at State & Fig? Yes, they are in several dishes. Figg’in Toast (on the weekend brunch menu) is fig cream cheese stuffed French Toast, bacon, ham or sausage, and vanilla maple syrup; $12.

The weekday breakfast menu has a section called “For Your Hands.” It’s divided into Eggwiches, Breakfast Burritos and Paninis.

Entrées include the basics like Buttermilk Pancakes, three for $6.50.

The lunch menu is broken down into Antipasti, Soups & Sides, Salads, Sandwiches, Burgers and Paninis. The cold Fig & Pig Panini is made up of ham,

for $2.50. A chalkboard lists “The Dailies.”

Whenever lamb is one of the specials, a gentleman who works nearby has requested a personal phone call.

Open since September, the restaurant is now serving dinner. The dinner menu is simple, rustic, and homey. Chef Patrick says it’s hard to say what’ll be on the menu until he returns from the farmers’ market. Turns out, Kristopher’s stroller is good for carting fruits and vegetables.

State & Fig is a family friendly restaurant.

The children’s menu is fig free, and all items are $6. Doesn’t French Toast with strawberry or blueberry sauce and powdered sugar sound good?

La Arcada is convenient to the Lobero, Granada and Arlington theaters. On Sunday, February 17, State & Fig is partnering with the Lobero Theatre for “It’s Magic!” The magic revue is promoted as direct from the Magic Castle and Las Vegas Strip. The “Abracadabra” package includes a three-course meal and premiere seating at the show; $35 for kids and $60 for adults.

Tickets are available at State & Fig and the Lobero box office.

State & Fig is in La Arcada plaza at 1114 State Street (entrances are on State and Figueroa), Suite 18; 805-965-1730.

Open Monday thru Friday from 8:00am to 4:00pm; Saturday and Sunday Brunch from 9:00am to 3:30pm; and Dinner Wednesday thru Sunday starting at 5:00pm.

Eagerly awaiting tips, tips, tips: If you have any restaurant information, please contact me at wendy@santabarbarasentinel. com.

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F E B R UA RY 8 – 1 5 | 2 0 1 3 |

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by Zach Rosen The table is set and ready for the Brewmaster Dinner at Telegraph Brewing Co., with food provided by Laurence Hauben of Market Forays.

Brewmaster Dinner at Telegraph Brewing Co.

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was walking up to Telegraph Brewing Co. when voices rang out from Andros Floor Design in the building next door.

Their shouts urged each other to work quicker as they loaded a moving truck. This was the last night of their lease. The new tenants at 418 North Salsipuedes Street: Telegraph Brewing.

The only brewery in Santa Barbara (as opposed to a brewpub, which only sells its beers on premises) will be moving into its neighboring facility where Andros Floor Design once was. The brewery’s expansion is evident of the growing beer scene in the central coast and is only one of many changes that are coming to the beer world around here. This past Thursday, January 31, a beer dinner was held at the current brewery by local cooking class instructor and chef extraordinaire, Laurence Hauben of Market Forays.

As I entered the Funk Zone-based warehouse at 416 North Salsipuedes Street, friends were reconnecting and introductions were being made over a smoked trout dip with vinegar chips. Glasses were filled with Telegraph Brewing’s Stock Porter and Rye XPA. The porter grasped onto the hickory notes of the dip, and the XPA brought a cleansing floral quality.

The dinner bell soon rang and diners were nestled into a long table running down the brewery’s lane. We sat between the brewing system and fermenters as Hauben animately introduced each course and Brian Thompson, owner and brewmaster of Telegraph, gave tasting notes and backstory to the corresponding beer. As the beers flowed and the evening progressed, the gentle babble of the fermenting tanks were overwhelmed by the fervor of conversation.

It will be a few months before the new brewery is up and running, so this charming evening will hopefully not be the last dinner at the current location. With that said, we’ll wait in anticipation to see what fun events and new beers will be in store around the corner.

Carbonade Flamande with Telegraph Brewing’s California Ale.

spice notes of the beef with a brown sugarlike sweetness. The potatoes and garlic emphasized the spicy hop tones of the beer with the sweet carrots supporting the caramel malt notes and floral character of the hops. A single plum in the dish brought the touch of tartness that is characteristic of this stew, and gave the entrée a burst of flavor that encouraged the beer’s fruity aromatics.

Dessert White Ale with apple, beets, and escarole salad.

First

The meal began with an escarole salad dressed with a light vinaigrette whose tartness brightened the citric notes of the White Ale. Telegraph’s White Ale is a Belgian-style witbier (think Blue Moon) that is brewed with wheat, coriander, and curacao. The brewery adds local chamomile to give a twist to this traditional style.

Pink Lady apples fanning the salad were accompanied by cubed beets that together enhanced the beer’s sweet flavor and fruity aromatics. Cheese points made with Red Hawk cheese brought a buttery toasted bite with a touch of pungency from the cheese.

These flavors were cleansed by the White

Zach Rosen is a Certified Cicerone® and beer educator living in Santa Barbara. He uses his background in chemical engineering and the arts to seek out abstract expressions of beer and discover how beer pairs with life.

Telegraph’s Winter Ale chocolate cake with hop-infused whipped cream.

Ale’s carbonation and brought out the bread-like yeast character of the beer.

Main

Telegraph Brewing’s flagship beer, California Ale, was used to cook the classic Belgian beer stew, Carbonade Flamande.

The California Ale pays homage to the Calfornia Common style of beer (think Anchor Steam) that is known for an ale-like fruitiness with a clean, lager-like finish. The beer’s dryness cleansed the warm, toasted

Telegraph’s Winter Ale is inspired by Mexican hot chocolate and is brewed with vanilla, cinnamon, clove, allspice, and sweet ancho chiles. The beer was used in a cake that

was frosted with ganache and topped with a candied clementine that gave the beer a mandarin spiced-tea quality. The dense cake had a decadent, oily consistency and honeylike sweetness with winter spices engrained in the flavor. Whipped cream was infused with hops, which imparted a light floral fragrance and a slightly bitter finish. The plummy tartness of the beer counteracted the sweetness of the cake and whipped cream with the winter spices being emphasized in both the beer and cake. Chunks of chocolate in the cake pulled out the vanilla and dark fruit character of the beer.

I left late, with a full belly and smile on my face.

About Market Forays

Market Forays is the culinary outlet for Laurence Hauben and offers cooking classes as well as private parties and corporate events.

Hauben grew up in Northern France where she began her exploration of cooking. She has lived in Santa Barbara since 1983 and written for the Independent, Gastronomica, and Saveur Magazine. Hauben has been a longtime supporter of the local and slow-food movements and uses Market Forays to bring the intimacy and warmth of home cooking to her audience.

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W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

Opinion, stories, events, and people that shape Santa Barbara

sbview.com

Eastside Neighbors Share Traffic Pains At City Workshop Father Marin of Our Lady of Guadalupe was a formidable presence.

Sharon Byrne

Sharon Byrne is executive director for the Milpas Community Association, and currently serves on the Advisory Boards for the Salvation Army Hospitality House and Santa Barbara County Alcohol and Drug Problems.

sbview.com L

ast Saturday, many neighbors turned up to sit with city workers and explain local traffic, pedestrian, and bicycling pain points in detail. Last September, the city council approved setting Community Development Block Grant (CDBG) funds aside to concentrate on improving traffic problems on the Eastside. The budget for street repairs, sidewalk infills, and other improvements had long been underfunded for the Eastside, so the streets have gotten more and more out of date for the emerging needs of the high-density area.

As budget funds have shrunk, the city turned to CDBG funds, usually used to make improvements to public facilities and ease blight, as the last stopgap to fund the easing of particular pain points on the Eastside.

So how does one approach an entire section of the city, and decide where to spend the limited funds? The city’s Public Works Department’s answer was to gather community input via a workshop where residents only could come in and discuss the known problems in their area.

This workshop wasn’t meant to be a solutions forum. Nor was it meant to be a gripe session. Participants were broken out into small groups by bilingual, English or

Spanish-only tables. City staff presented a series of maps of the Eastside, each relating to a specific problem, like traffic and speeding, lack of sidewalks, or bus stop issues. Residents worked with a city facilitator to identify specific problems related to these categories.

The attendance was good, thanks in part to Casie Killgore, principal of Franklin Elementary, where the workshop was held, who had roused parents to come out. COAST and the Milpas Community Association had also sent out calls to action to neighbors in the area. A childcare section had been set up to give parents the maximum

Betsy Cramer, with Anna from COAST. Neighborhood Advisory Council reps from the Eastside were present, working studiously over a map.

flexibility to attend the workshop.

If you’re unfamiliar with the long timeframes for civil engineering projects, here’s a loose timeline: 2012: September City council approved 2014-2015 CDBG capital funds to be prioritized for traffic improvements to the Eastside neighborhood.

2013: February Community Input Phase: Community input workshop completed.

Public Works had printed up maps of the Eastside area with topic headings, like Speeding and Traffic Laws, Bus-stops, and Bicycling to give residents a chance to identify specific pain points associated with each of these.

–

Public Works sends out surveys to get additional feedback from Eastside residents, in partnership with the elementary schools in the area. Electronic surveys will be distributed to the Jr. High and High School, the Milpas Community Association, and COAST. April Public Works responds to concerns raised in the workshop, and presents possible solutions. Feedback will be gathered, for prioritization.

The work then begins to scope out shovelready projects to address the priorities identified. Enforcement and education approaches will also be taken as appropriate, because some problems are better solved by these kinds of efforts.

June: Plan developed to incorporate all of this, presented to Transportation and Circulation Committee, Neighborhood Advisory Council, and City Council. Next job will be to identify funding sources.

December Applications due for CDBG capital funds for 2014-2015.

Public Works typically will only have 3 weeks to complete the grant paperwork to apply and present before the CDBG committee.

2014: March CDBG grant awardees announced.

September HUD releases CDBG funds to the city for approved projects.

2015: April All approved projects must be completed

by Public Works.

The amount of capital funds released for 2013 is anticipated to be $449,914.

The funding that would be available for 2014 is unknown, but if 2013 serves as a gauge, that’s not a lot to work with.

According to the 2012 Action Plan for the City of Santa Barbara, a total of $281,146 of CDBG capital funds was allocated in 2012 to “install access ramps in low-income neighborhoods, to install bus shelters at

Neighborhood Advisory Council Reps from the Eastside study one the maps and identify problems: Sebastian Aldana, Ana Soto, Theresa Pena, and Naomi Greene, along with Ed France from the Bicycle Coalition and Eddie Gonzales of Casa De La Raza.

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bus stops in low-income neighborhoods, improve safety by installing upgraded lights and benches at the Westside Community Center, redesign the existing bathrooms in order to make them ADA accessible at the Westside Center, and replace the storm drain at the Cabrillo Ballfield.”

In the past, the city allocated some CDBG capital funds to non-profits to make repairs to buildings or upgrade facilities.

For the 2014-2013 cycle, the expectation is that all CDBG capital monies would go to traffic improvements on the Eastside.

Flustered Flying

by Loretta Redd

S

tanding in line at the airport, I awaited baggage check for an international flight. I had already paid to have my one piece of luggage placed in the belly of the silver beast. My trip was to last a couple of weeks and involved a variety of meetings, climates and events. I didn’t have the option of strolling around a foreign country in a windbreaker, Capri shorts and lightweight walking shoes.

The gentleman in line ahead of me was, shall we say, large. I don’t mean simply overweight, I mean ‘large’ as in 300-pound linebacker large. He had a small roll-aboard, but there was no way I could squash what was necessary on my trip into a 36” case, unless I planned a rendition of ‘Jack in the Box’ at customs.

When the agent at the counter asked me to lift my bag onto the scale, it registered fifty-four pounds.

“You’re only allowed fifty pounds. You’ll have to either remove four pounds or pay a fee for overage,” he said, in a tone that sounded vaguely as though I were trying to get away with espionage. I asked him if he cared to guess my body weight in comparison to the human refrigerator that had just checked in.

“I’m not trying to be difficult,” I said, “but that gentleman outweighs me by at least 150 pounds, and he didn’t pay a penny more. My bag is four pounds over, and you want to zap my credit card. Now, does that seem fair to you?”

I, of course, knew what his reply would be before the words left my mouth... “Yada yada, it’s company policy, nothing I can do about it, yada yada.” So rather than expose my luggage contents to those waiting not so patiently behind me in line, I handed over the credit card.

Common sense tells me that roll-aboards do more to complicate security and delay boarding than asking passengers to obtain their luggage at baggage claim. Have you ever watched the increasing anxiety as people scramble for space to stow 125 carryon suitcases, plus laptops, overcoats and oversized purses on a 130 passenger flight?

Once entering the airplane, they create safety hazards from attempting to secure or dislodge their rolling suitcases without beaning the passenger occupying the seat below, especially when the masses jump from their seats in the first nanosecond after the ‘fasten seat belt’ sign is turned off.

Alas, I paid my “ancillary fee” for my fourpound penance. Others, of course, had already

Loretta Redd’s diverse background includes being a psychologist, business owner, non-profit director, Air Force officer, writer, speaker, and executive coach. Loretta has served on several Santa Barbara city committees and has been a candidate for public office.

Loretta Redd

sbview.com

paid extra for sitting in a seat where their knees weren’t pressed against their foreheads, or the new $2 charge on some flights for an aisle or window seat. There’s the $9 fee for “priority boarding” (first shot at those overhead compartments come at a premium).

Still awaiting us onboard is the privilege of paying for a movie released two years ago, and one of those lovely boxed meals where it’s difficult to tell if you’ve remembered to take of the wrapper. These days, blankets or pillows are out of the questions, but you can still have “free” soft drinks or juice. You have to beg to keep the entire can, rather than the two ounces of liquid poured onto the six ice cubes in the 8-oz plastic cup.

I wouldn’t be surprised if during an emergency descent when the yellow masks fall from above, you didn’t have to swipe your debit card in order to “ensure the flow of oxygen” or allow you to buckle up with your seat belt, but charge you to release it.

The airlines won’t answer a phone, driving you to make your own reservations online, then some of them charge a “convenience fee” for using the damned internet. There are plenty of other hidden fees, like the charge to change your reservation or redeem awards points, or on some airlines like Allegiant, a charge for using a credit card.

When’s the last time you could find a ticket agent outside of an airport, much less expect them to make change for a cash payment?

Again, the computer age hasn’t served to reduce the cost to consumers as much as you might imagine. The global distribution system (GDS) of computer reservations is making a hefty profit ($7 billion in fees) off of the airlines by pitting the sites that bundle services like Travelocity against the once ‘pure’ airline sites like United. The fees seem to change faster than the Big Board on Wall Street; each time you open the webpage, there’s a different number, resulting in a sense that you’d better “buy now,” or it will just get more expensive.

All told, we aren’t talking chump change.

Airlines are required to disclose income from baggage fees ($932 million in 2011) and reservation change fees ($661 million in 2011), but they aren’t required to report on all the other charges. These little ‘ancillary fees’ are big business to the airlines, bringing in $2.5 billion in 2007, jumping to $22 billion in 2010, and over $36 billion last year.

Even with all of these additional costs to flying, the industry runs a lean profit margin of around 5% for the nine largest carriers.

And whether they running gains or losses depends greatly on their fuel costs. When the Big Five oil companies (BP, Chevron, ConocoPhillips, ExxonMobil and Shell) earn $368 million per day, posting $137

billion profit in 2011, it is hard to lay all of the blame on the airlines.

So why do we put up with it? Much like the gasoline price escalation, have we simply resigned ourselves to being powerless? Do we believe that the airline’s margin of profit is so small, and the convenience of airline travel is so great, that we consider it a privilege to be treated like cattle in order to get somewhere simply alive?

In some ways, we got what we asked for as travelers. Since our demand for industry deregulation in 1978, airfares have been cut in half, and ushered in the era of budget airlines and “no-frills” flying. Corporations now Skype rather than fly executives halfway around the globe, others rely on their own corporate jets rather than pay business class.

The profit margin on airlines per se may be narrow, but other industries making a buck off of our wanderlust and willingness to be duped, are flying high.

Many travelers argue that they simply want airlines to “improve services.” But as an article on moneymorning.com put it, “The general experience of flying is so universally unappealing that an airline competing on superior service is like a dentist competing on a more comfortable chair.”

Business Beat

by Ray Estrada

2013 Film Fest May be Most Lucrative

J

ust before the curtain came down on the 28th annual Santa Barbara Film Festival, Roger Durling told Santa Barbara View that the 2013 episode of the extravaganza may have been the most successful, even though the final tally won’t be completed until later this week.

At Sunday’s awards breakfast, festival chief said all of the big-name events were sold out this year. “Usually, we sell out of some, but not all of them,” Durling said.

He went on to explain that the recently ended recession didn’t really slow attendance at the festival. But since the economic downturn appears to be over, perhaps more corporate sponsors had more funds to spend on marketing.

And, it appears movie fans were spending more on just popcorn. Despite initial inclement weather that usually occurs on the South Coast’s mid-winter days, sunny days and cool, clear nights returned to beckon film fans to stay out and enjoy State Street’s eateries, bars and shops. Along with more hotel and motel room bookings, from Carpinteria to Goleta, the tax revenue will flow into municipal coffers.

Without the festival, January would be another cold, slow month for retail along State Street and throughout the region.

While other, more established film fests (such as the Sundance Film Festival, started in 1978 in Park City, Utah) have more established brand names because of their affiliation with movie icons like Sundance founder Robert Redford, the Santa Barbara fest appears to be evolving. While it still relies heavily on volunteers, the SBIFF’s future remains bright.

F E B R UA RY 8 – 1 5 | 2 0 1 3 |

Ray Estrada

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Ray Estrada is a writer, editor and media consultant who has worked for newspapers, radio news, wire services and online publications for the past 40 years. He has taught journalism at the University of Southern California and now runs his own consulting business based in Santa Barbara.

sbview.com

$1 Million Raffle Aids Nonprofits

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he Santa Barbara Contemporary Arts Forum’s ninth Million Dollar Home Raffle offers a chance to win the Santa Barbara dream and give back to local nonprofit groups with a $150 ticket purchase.

The raffle launched January 28, and the grand prize is the choice of a $1 million South Coast home in one of America’s most picturesque and charming communities, or $1 million in cash. A ticket purchaser also will be entered into the collection of bonus prizes totaling $200,000 in value, including cars, vacations, shopping sprees and cash.

March 7 is the deadline to buy tickets for the most chances to win.

The raffle also benefits many nonprofit partners, who, with the Santa Barbara Contemporary Arts Forum, will raise funds through the sale of tickets. The first group of nonprofit organizations that will be partnering with the forum to sell tickets include the Village Properties Teacher’s Fund, Santa Barbara Solstice Celebration, Surf Happens Foundation, New Noise Foundation, Santa Barbara Lacrosse Association and Postpartum Education for Parents. Look for emails and social media announcements from the forum and its partners on how to purchase tickets, or buy directly from the Santa Barbara Contemporary Arts Forum.

“The Santa Barbara Million Dollar Home Raffle ticket sales have allowed the Contemporary Arts Forum to raise funds to provide a crucial foundation for arts in our communities over the past eight years,” said Miki Garcia, executive director of the forum. “This year, the Contemporary Arts Forum is thrilled to share the fundraising opportunity with a number of nonprofits with missions we support.”

Claudia Bratton, executive director of Santa Barbara Solstice, said, “We are very excited to partner with CAF on the 2013 Santa Barbara Million Dollar Home Raffle. What a great way to support the arts organizations that bring creativity, joy and life to our community.”

The raffle is one of the longest-running home raffles in California and has sold enough tickets to give away the grand prize as well as all other advertised prizes.

More than $9.5 million in prizes have been awarded since 2003. No more than 19,000 tickets are issued. For more details, visit: www.sbhomeraffle.com. For more information, contact Kyle Ashby at (805) 323-6160.

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W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

In the Garden with

Mr. Greenjeans

by Randy Arnowitz “Mr. Greenjeans,” as he is known around Santa

Barbara, is a gardener, horticulturist and writer. He particularly enjoys working with roses, orchids and sharing the day with his golden retriever Peaches, who faithfully accompanies him in the field. Contact him at greenjeansmr@gmail.com

Gardening Myths, Mysteries and Sub-Urban Legends: Fact or Fiction

These horsetails (Equisetum hyemale) sheared to fit the space. Not wrong. Just not my favorite “look.”

are merely gardening hearsay that gets passed down through generations. “Why yes, I’ve been lopping off the tops of my Italian cypress into these stately green pillars forever. Just like my daddy and his daddy before him. You have a problem with that?”

Allow me to share some memorable observations, case histories and close encounters that I’ve had in the field – or what I like to call Gardening Myths, Mysteries and Sub-Urban Legends: Fact or Fiction.

Eugenia hedge – bad pruning or alien intervention. You decide.

O

ftentimes when I drive around Santa Barbara, I notice landscaping oddities and atrocities that make me scratch my head in wonder and bewilderment. It could be a Mexican Sage sheared into an exact, boxy, sharp-edged rectangular or a Bougainvillea ‘Rosenka’ – its pink and gold bracts sculpted into what I can only describe as an unnatural and “Bundt cakelike” perfection. How did this training and butchering of our shrubs into puffy, poodlelike orbs and our ornamental grasses into squares and flattops become so widespread?

Like those mysterious Midwest crop circles and mazes, I fear that aliens walk among us – silent and stealth, they come by night and delight in wreaking horticultural havoc on us with all this nonsensical clipping and snipping. Will these “visitors” next be probing and controlling our cats and dogs, requiring us to spend countless dollars on Pet Alien Abduction Therapy and Detox?

Sometimes these gardening peculiarities are subtle and seemingly harmless. If aliens are, in fact, not to blame, then perhaps these bad landscaping practices

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The Case Of The Mysterious Lawn Circles Doris (not her real name) called in a panic to describe the mysterious, saucersized yellow spots that had recently begun to appear in her newly sodded Marathon II lawn. I grabbed my trowel and soil probe and rushed right over. A large, female Rottweiler named Grendel met me at the gate with a stringy drool and a steely gaze. The large canine only allowed me safe passage once her owner assured her I was good people. “I just got her and she’s not used to strangers,” Doris apologized.

Once in the backyard, I was shown the lawn in question that exhibited a dozen or so unusual and randomly occurring yellow and brown spots. “It’s very bizarre. They start out yellow and over a few days turn to brown and then eventually to bare earth,” she fretted. I could tell she was frightened. “I fear a fungus or lawn disease, or worse,” she furthered. Grendel eyed me suspiciously as I scraped a sample from the lawn. This was not an easy one, I thought to myself. I rolled some of the dead and dying turf between my fingers to check the consistency and to look for evidence of lawn pests or obvious pathogens. I brought the sample to my nose for a telltale sniff but was still baffled and stymied.

Grendel’s throat sounded a deep rumble as she brushed past me to squat and urinate in a far corner of the lawn. This was a tricky case and I didn’t want to let on to Doris that I hadn’t a clue. I wore a perplexed face and made a show of taking some rudimentary

notes and more samples. I then assured her that I’d look into it further and get back to her. What I didn’t tell her was that sometimes there are just no answers.

Next Time – More Gardening Myths, Mysteries and Sub-Urban Legends: Fact or Fiction.

Randy’s Quick Pick

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his is what I do when I get home from work. I take off my work boots, un-holster my Felco pruners and lie on the floor for a minute. Then I feed the dog and the bird and look in the fridge thinking that there might be something in there to eat. Then I lie down again, get up again and look in the fridge a second time thinking I may have missed something the first time. Since there’s usually nothing in there to make a real dinner with, I’ll instead eat a little bit of everything I have in the kitchen. First some peanut butter, a bit of cereal, some shark jerky, a spoon of yogurt, a handful of pretzels, part of a banana, a piece of cheese and maybe an expired tortilla. After this smorgasbord of culinary despair I’m usually pretty full, although still extremely unsatisfied. t seems though, that my prayers have been answered. I just discovered that Carole Bennett at Just One Soup will deliver a large, steaming pot of authentic home-made, chicken matzo ball soup and a French baguette to your very door for sixty bucks. I have to admit that it is delicious enough to have made both my Grandma and my Nana very verklempt.

The soup serves from 8 to 10 normal people or one person like me for a week.

If you want leftovers, the stuff freezes perfectly well. But wait, there’s more.

Carole has two golden retrievers and donates part of her proceeds to the Santa Barbara Rescue Mission. Carole can be reached at: (805) 452-7400. For more information, visit www.JustOneSoup.com.

I

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F E B R UA RY 8 – 1 5 | 2 0 1 3 |

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...continued from 7

Maggie’s at State and A California French Fusion

Valentine’s Day, February 14 Four Course Prix Fixe 5pm-10pm Five Entrees From Which to Choose

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there are mind altering drugs both legal and illegal including but not limited to alcohol, people will drink and drug and then drive, and the State will catch some of them and people will be both rightfully and falsely accused, and the system will be heavily designed to presume guilt rather than innocence. In fact, the newest trend (and cops, and judges and prosecutors are all being trained as you read this) is to prosecute people for driving if they have prescription drugs in their system. Some states already have so-called Per Se levels for drugs much like the current .08% law for alcohol. The California legislature has already tried unsuccessfully to pass such per se laws for various drugs, and though none have become law, the controlling word is YET. This latest trend is a ‘war upon elderly drivers’ because most drivers over the age of 50 take several prescription medications that law enforcement officers are being taught (wrongfully) impair driving. The doctors prescribing these medications – who have been to medical school and understand the effects – do not tell their patients to choose between good health and driving, instead, they correctly inform them to use caution. The cops, prosecutors and judges on the other hand use their legal pulpit to ‘practice medicine without a license.’

Indeed, Robin Williams joked from the Arlington stage at his last SB appearance that when he was young ‘they’ told him: “Don’t do drugs, they will kill you”, and now as an older man ‘they’ are telling him: “You better take you meds or you will die.”

Be careful, though, because you just might be cited for DUI. Darryl Genis Santa Barbara (Editor’s Note: Terrific piece, Darryl, I quite enjoyed the read and appreciate the insight. From my own perspective, I wonder whether enacting strict liability legislation (i.e., no tolerance laws consistent with yours above) would actually have a deterring effect. The bottom line is that people already know that drinking and driving is dangerous and expensive and not easily fought in the courts… and yet they do it anyway, to the tune of around “1000 people per day” (your number). The point is that these people already make a bad decision when

] ]

with a BAC of 0.08% (or more). What many people hear, though, is that “it is legal to drive with a 0.079% or less” (which is both true and false, because depending upon your personal tolerance to alcohol, you might or might not have your brain, muscles or nervous system affected to such an appreciable degree that you cannot drive as safely as an ordinary person under the same circumstances).

So the State encourages its citizens to play Russian roulette with drinking and driving in an effort to avoid killing its cash cow. Never mind that 70 percent of every county court calendar is comprised of DUI and solving the problem would eliminate the need for a large number of judges, prosecutors, public defenders, probation officers and even cops.

Each year we arrest record numbers of people and charge them with DUI and convict most of them. But how we do it is another story akin to a shell game. California does not have a “Buzzed Driving” law. States that have such laws (like Colorado and Arizona) call them DWAI: Driving While Alcohol Impaired, and the definition of the level of impairment is much different: “If as a result of consuming an alcoholic beverage you become impaired ‘to the slightest degree’ (not ‘to such an appreciable degree that you have lost the ability to drive safely’) then you are guilty. Yet all through California where billboards are permitted there are government propaganda signs that say, “Buzzed driving is drunk driving.” There is one such sign that can be seen while driving on the 101 freeway toward SB between Las Virgines Canyon and Westlake, and another one on Highland in San Bernardino (and many other places). This absolutely false legal standard is constantly put into public view to brainwash potential jurors to employ a lower standard to help lessen the burden of cops and prosecutors in court.

30 plus years of MADD (understandably hysterical) propaganda has been a most Orwellian word game. All in pursuit of the State’s almighty dollar. None of this has anything to do with public safety, because if public safety were really the driving force and money were not involved it would have been illegal to drive within 12 hours of drinking 30, 40 or 50 years ago.

As long as there are cars, and as long as

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with Mark Leisure

Mark spends much of his time wandering Santa Barbara and environs, enjoying the simple things that come his way. A show here, a benefit there, he is generally out and about and typically has a good time. He says that he writes “when he feels the urge” and doesn’t want his identity known for fear of an experience that is “less than authentic.”

So he remains at large, roaming the town, having fun. Be warned.

A Lineup for Lovers Rebekah Tripp and Katharine Leonard in Ensemble Theatre’s French farce The Liar, which plays February 9-24. (photo by David Bazemore)

W

ow. There’s much going down around town. From the stage to the screen, here’s a few artsy ideas for you and yours as we head into the most nauseatingly romantic time of year.

Stage Scenes On stage, there’s a pair of period pieces playing in Santa Barbara this week, albeit coming from polar opposite producers. The venerable Ensemble Theatre Company – which is getting ready to move into its new, lavishly redesigned and refurbished digs at the old Victoria Hall this fall – presents a play that’s not quite three years old, although it’s set in the 1700s. Actually, The Liar was first performed in 1644, but this clever adaptation from David Ives (All in the Timing, Venus and Fur) premiered in 2010 to rave reviews and lots of laughter.

Think the old Jim Carrey movie Liar, Liar as the main character invariably prevaricates while his trusty servant only speaks the truth, leading to lots of fun when mistaken identity and other issues arise. Oh yeah, everyone only talks in rhyming couplets, too! The Liar plays Feb. 9-24.

Meanwhile, Elements Theatre Collective – the fledgling upstart that began life just two years ago with the commitment to offer all of its shows for free and pop-up style in unusual venues – wraps up the local debut of Or, a Restoration-era farce with a modern twist. Liz Duffy Adams’ piece posits that 1660s playwright Aphra Behn was the precursor to the freewheeling feminism that would show up much more prominently in the 1960s. All the action takes place

on a single night, with lots of sexual and intellectual energy flinging about the room.

Check www.elementstheatrecollective.com for locations and times.

SBIFF Third Weekend If you’re picking up your copy of the Sentinel hot off the presses, check out the Santa Barbara International Film Festival’s annual 3rd Weekend screenings.

SBIFF culls the best of the fest – winners of jury and audience awards and other popular films – and shows ’em again for free all weekend long up at the Riviera Theatre.

We can personally highly recommend both International Film award-winner Coming of Age and the documentary Spinning Plates, which won the Audience Choice award, playing at 2 & 4:30pm, respectively, on Saturday. They’re also a great place to take your sweeties on a preValentine’s Day date, as passion is a theme for both films. “Age” is about two 80-yearolds who find exciting new love at the end of life (written and directed by a 50-ish married couple who said the idea partially sprang from wondering about their own future), while “Plates” weaves surprisingly emotional tales about three very different restaurants whose owners are deeply committed to their creations and their families.

The full schedule is available online at www.sbiff.org.

Jim Messina rocks out at Alisal Ranch on Valentine’s Day.

on Valentine’s Day? It doesn’t get much more romantic than Johnny Mathis, the great pop crooner who began his career in the late-1950s, several years before rock ‘n’ roll shattered the softer singers. Chances are the two of you will still swoon as Mathis, who has sold more than 350 million records worldwide according to Wikipedia, pours out his hits and his heart up at the Chumash Casino in Santa Ynez.

Prefer your romance tinged with irony – and your male vocals coming from the baritone to low tenor range? There’s always John Gorka. The versatile singer-songwriter whose career dates to winning the Kerrville Folk Festival back in 1984 offers his contemporary love – and love lost – songs over at the Ojai Concert Series in downtown Ojai. (Gorka also headlines the Tales from the Tavern show on Valentine’s Day eve, Feb. 13.)

And if you’re seeking more of a smorgasbord in the hopes that at least something will please

ALO takes the stage at SOhO as part of a double-bill with the California Honey Drops on February 14.

your honey, check out Alisal Guest Ranch’s Feb. 14 lineup: Jim Messina (of Loggins & Messina fame), Nathan & Jonathan McEuen (sons of Nitty Gritty Dirt Band founder John McEuen and who recently wrapped their first extended tour as a trio), Alan Thornhill (a terrific Ojai-based singersongwriter whose associations include Chris Hillman of the Byrds), and Antara Hunter (of the popular Santa Barbara duo Antara & Delilah), who has just emerged from a twoyear maternity leave.

Finally, if dancing is a must, consider taking your special someone to SOhO right here in downtown Santa Barbara to see a jam-tastic double-bill pairing the Jack Johnson-affiliated ALO (née Animal Liberation Orchestra from Isla Vista) with the rootsy, New Orleans-leaning R&B band California Honey Drops.

If your sweetheart isn’t sweet on any of this music, then dump him (or her) already!

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We saw blowholes…

excited hummingbird.

I was like some kind of deranged super hero; maybe Chicken Man or Dr. Clucker or something cool like that.

And, lo and behold, that wretched coyote got the message – his adversary was quite serious and clearly insane enough to commit wild atrocities in the heat of battle – and turned tail and ran back into the woods from whence he came.

It was a close call but the chickens survived, barely, with hunks of feathers gone and a couple twisted ankles. (Do chickens have ankles?) Goa and Bertha laid eggs later the very same day. All seems well (although Wendi has a chicken veterinarian on speed dial now).

I proudly recounted the story to my wife and kids as soon as they got home. I talked

MASSAGE & CHAMPAGNE SPECI AL F RO M:

FEB RUARY 8 -17 TH

of the circle of life and of death and rebirth.

I talked of the animal kingdom and the quite lively ecosystem we’re lucky to have all around us here in Santa Barbara.

And eventually, after some time on the subject, we decided to go see and experience a bit of our local wildlife. Some relatively benign local wildlife that we could all appreciate without fear or anxiety stemming from the recent chicken trauma.

We decided to go whale watching.

The Whale And so we boarded the Condor Express on Sunday morning for a four-hour cruise out to the islands and back. The boat was well appointed, and we quickly found seats on the upper deck and listened to a

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Locals Night

FEBRUARY 8

(happy hour 5pm-7pm)

Featuring: Gil Herrera Jazz Trio …and whale tails. (There were around five in the pod we saw, majestic creatures. Seriously. My “photographs” are inadequate.)

Galley Gal Tasha Sobol (I made her title up) was great, and serves up a mean burger and grilled cheese.

7pm-10pm

SATURDAY

Featuring: Folsom & McLychok Acoustic Duo

FEBRUARY 9

7pm-10pm

SUNDAY

Live Piano Featuring: Al Reese

FEBRUARY 10

3pm-6pm

MONDAY FEBRUARY 11 Captain Dave Beezer got us out to the islands, on to a pod of whales and home safely, all in time for the Super Bowl.

(Thanks Dave, nice work.)

knowledgeable Channel Islands Naturalist Corps volunteer talk about the Grays and other whales we just might see. The girls loved handling the baleen and learning a bit about how and what the massive sea mammals gobble from the ocean’s nutrient rich waters. Wendi and I enjoyed the talk – and the sunshine – as well.

Then we headed downstairs for a drink and a snack as we took off out to Santa Cruz Island.

Eastside gal Tasha Sobol was working in the galley that morning and was quick with a smile and a couple cups of coffee. “You should see some Grays out here today,” she encouraged us, “we’ve been on them most every trip lately.” (Expectations were pretty high, and the girls were thrilled with the possibility of the hunt.)

We played a little family Uno and some travel-sized Trouble on the way out, interrupted only by a variety of pleasureinducing dolphin and harbor seal and sea lion sightings. We quickly ended up on the backside of Anacapa Island and a small pod of, you guessed it, Gray whales.

(Expectations met and exceeded, children actually squealing with delight.)

None of us had whale watched before, and I must say that it was actually pretty cool.

Captain Dave Beezer kept the Condor near the pod – not too near, of course – and we were treated to all sorts of blowhole exposures and flips of the tails. (Technical terms there.)

“We’re really pretty lucky here in Santa Barbara,” Captain Beezer explained, “We

TUESDAY

Captain Dave with Deckhand Matt Rollings, on the hunt for the pod.

literally have whales all year round. Grays are headed south to breed now and we’ll see Humpbacks and Blues and Fins and even Killers this summer. Toss in huge pods of dolphins and seals and otters and all sorts of birds and other sea creatures and we really are in for a show most of the time out here.”

It’s not just the diverse animal kingdom in the channel; the islands are beautiful as well, and it’s always a treat to spend a day on the water. Four hours was just the

Industry Night

right amount of time, and Tasha set us up with burgers and grilled cheese sandwiches on the way back. I also spent some time talking with Channel Islands Naturalist Corps Volunteer Kevin Bailey, who not only educates and entertains guests but also does some photo identification of whales for research purposes.

“My wife and I are both Channel Islands Naturalist Corps Volunteers and we ...continued p.20

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www.presidiosports.com Presidio Sports is a provider of local sports news and information for the Santa Barbara community. Founded in 2008, the small team at Presidio has covered hundreds of local sporting events and published thousands of articles connected to Santa Barbara’s athletic community. Please visit their website for more local sports news and information.

Athletes of the Week: Rocio Fesembeck and Chris Williams

by John Dvorak

D

os Pueblos’ Chris Williams and Santa Barbara High’s Rocio Fesembeck were announced as Santa Barbara Athletic Round Table Athletes of the Week on Monday.

The two student-athletes were recognized at the Women and Girls in Sports Luncheon at Earl Warren Showgrounds.

Fesembeck played a key role in the girls water polo team from Santa Barbara High, winning a tournament title at the So Cal Championships.

Fesembeck recorded three goals and five steals in the championship match and scored three goals in the Dons’ semifinal win earlier that day. The Dons have won 16 straight matches now and are the No. 1 team in Division 1.

Williams helped lead Dos Pueblos’ boys basketball team to a pair of huge Channel League victories last week.

Williams scored 13 points and added three steals in Dos Pueblos’ 48-31 win over San Marcos on Friday night. In last Monday’s win over Buena, Williams was again a force with 12 points. The two wins for the Chargers elevated them back into the hunt for a Channel League title with just one week to go in the regular season.

Honorable mentions included Tyler Gilbert, SBCC Baseball; Nico Sorenson, Dos Pueblos Wrestling; Chad Lampe, Dos Pueblos Wrestling; Jason Ildefonso, Santa Barbara Soccer; Geoffrey Acheampong, Cate Soccer; Amber Melgoza, Santa Barbara Basketball; Andrea Ward, UCSB Swimming; Hope Grant, Carpinteria Water Polo; Kristen Holding, Westmont Track & Field; and Tugce Canitez, Westmont Basketball.

Sports Volunteer of the Month: Dr. Dan Brennan

By Randy Weiss

F

or his complete dedication, quiet commitment and expansive leadership in serving local youth in nearly all phases of his life, Dr. Dan Brennan has been named Presidio Sports’ Volunteer of the Month for January 2013.

On the personal side, he’s logged countless hours as a multi-sport (soccer, baseball, hoops) coach, an American Youth Soccer Organization boys double division administrator, a Dos Pueblos Little League vice president, and a Santa Barbara Athletic Round Table board member.

On the professional side, he’s a devoted Sansum Clinic pediatrician (since 2001)

Dos Pueblos’ Chris Williams is Athlete the Week.

Rocio Fesembeck is this week’s Key Water Polo Athlete

with a bustling practice focused on caring for children and their families.

Volunteers often go under-recognized even though they are extremely important to the athletic community. This monthly spotlight series is our way of thanking those that selflessly give themselves for the benefit of many. A special thanks to Pacific Western Bank for making the award possible.

It all adds up to a labor of love, and a truly unique way of “giving back” in appreciation for those who’ve had a positive impact in helping him and his young family – wife, Yael, and their three active sons: Josh (8), Andy (5) and Matt (2).

Speaking of practice, there’s no place in the world he’d rather be than coaching on the practice field with his young sons and their friends.

“If I could make a living just doing that, it would be incredible,” he quips. “But,

seriously, I just want everyone to have a positive experience. Plus, it’s great bonding time with my kids, their friends and their families.”

It all started when registering Josh for AYSO – Brennan signed up as his coach.

His own soccer playing days as a San Marcos Royal would serve him well here.

On deck was t-ball with Dos Pueblos Little League (later followed by All Stars and Slugger club baseball).

Then coaching Josh in basketball at “The Y.” AYSO Region 122 (serving 3,000 kids from Goleta, SB and Montecito) Administrator John Maloney soon tapped him on the shoulder and asked if he could lead the Boys U5 and U6 Divisions – coordinating nearly 75 teams and 500 kids – mostly first time athletes.

And many first time coaches.

Brennan enthusiastically jumped in headfirst and now spends a good portion of his summer preparing for AYSO’s fall soccer season – and loves it!

“Dan has been the AYSO Division Administrator for five years now,” says Maloney. “Because he knows many of the families from other sports, and because of his knowledge of child development, he has done an excellent job forming teams and managing coaches. He continues to make our boys’ first soccer experience a fun and exciting one.”

DPLL also noticed something special here and asked him to serve on their board. He’s hit a grand slam – way beyond his coaching.

With his total immersion in youth sports, “Dr. Dan” also serves the community in a larger, grander way – as a seasoned medical professional who truly understands “player development,” and who also helps mend the athletic bruises and sports injuries of these young warriors.

He’s a local expert on childhood health and nutrition, who further serves as a wonderfully invaluable community resource for young families looking for the right opportunity to introduce their child(ren) to team sports.

“As a board member, and a pediatrician, Dan has a unique perspective on our youngest children,” adds Maloney. “His advice has been instrumental to many of the decisions we have made to promote developing soccer players in the Santa Barbara area.”

“In addition to all these extra-curricular community activities, Dan is a terrific doctor and a wonderful quarterback for the healthcare of many local children,” said Dr. Kurt Ransohoff, Sansum Clinic CEO and Chief Medical Officer.

And for Brennan, well, it all comes with the territory.

And what a territory it is!

He says that he was very fortunate to grow up here in a loving home – his dad, Bernie, was a well-known and well-liked Santa Barbara City College chemistry professor for 30 years prior to his recent retirement; and his mom Mary, also retired, was a longtime local elementary school teacher.

Both parents instilled confidence and placed a strong emphasis on education.

It all produced three loving, wellrounded, and grounded offspring who are

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programs; Cypress is three-time defending state champion.

COLLEGE BASKETBALL: Ventura at SBCC, men at 5 pm, women at 7 pm – The women’s game is a battle for sole possession of first place in the Western State Conference. The doubleheader is also a fundraiser for the American Cancer Society.

Pacific at UCSB, 7pm – The Gaucho men host the second-place Tigers in a Big West matchup. Former UCSB great Lucius Davis (1988-92) will be honored as the newest Legend of the Dome.

SUNDAY, FEB. 10 CIF PLAYOFFS – The pairings for boys and girls basketball and girls water polo postseason tournaments are announced.

Former UCSB Gaucho Sam Garza returns to Harder Stadium on Saturday as a member of the San Jose Earthquakes.

Garza was the No. 6 pick in the 2012 MLS Draft.

Sports Volunteer of the Month Dr. Dan Brennan and assistant coach Jeff Greaney with their Sluggers club team. (photo: Scott Craig)

league’s supplemental draft three weeks ago.

San Jose features forward Chris Wondolowski, the league’s leading goal scorer the past two seasons.

The Chicago Fire are rebuilding their roster.

Other events worth checking out: SATURDAY, FEB. 9 SOFTBALL: Canyons, Cypress at SBCC, 10:30am, 2:30pm – The Vaqueros host two strong

Dan and his family visit spring training in Arizona. Dan with wife, Yael, and their three sons: Josh (8), Andy (5) and Matt (2).

landing solidly in the field of medicine.

Brennan’s brother Rob is a local endodontist; and sister Sarah is just starting her residency – she’ll soon be a pediatrician, too.

“I knew at an early age that I wanted to be a pediatrician,” says Dr. Dan. To continue reading about Dr. Dan and his service to local sports, visit PresidioSports.com.

WEEKEND SPORTS CALENDAR

by Barry Punzal

P

rofessional soccer comes to Santa Barbara this Saturday as the Chicago Fire play the San Jose Earthquakes in a Major League Soccer preseason game at UCSB’s Harder Stadium.

Kickoff is at 6pm. A preliminary game between the Chicago Fire Reserves against the UCSB men’s team will start at 4pm.

Tickets are $12 for adults and $8 for youth, and can be purchased at the UCSB Athletic Ticket Office and at Aggressive Soccer and Xtreme Soccer in Santa Barbara.

The clubs are conducting training camps at Oxnard College. The Fire are there through Feb. 10 and the Earthquakes arrive on Feb. 7.

San Jose, winner of the MLS Supporters’ Shield as the team with the best record last season, includes former UCSB stars Sam Garza and Peter McGlynn. Garza, the No. 6 overall pick in the 2012 MLS SuperDraft, played most of last season on the Earthquakes’ reserve squad. He was plagued by physical issues. He suffered from breathing problems, a broken rib, a sprained ankle and a broken wrist, which required surgery in the offseason.

“Besides when I tore my ACL [causing me to miss the 2009 college season], I’ve never had a year where I’ve been injured so much,” Garza told MLSsoccer. com. “With me obviously adapting to being a rookie and the speed of play and everything, not playing on a constant basis was pretty tough for me. I think this year I’m a lot more fit. I’m a lot more ready to go.”

McGlynn was taken by San Jose in the

FILM – Zero to 100: The Lakey Peterson Story, 7pm, Lobero Theatre. A biopic on the local surfer girl’s rise from riding the local waves to competing on the Women’s World Tour.

MONDAY, FEB. 11 CIF PLAYOFFS – The pairings for boys and girls soccer postseason tournaments are announced.

TUESDAY, FEB. 12 COLLEGE BASKETBALL: The Master’s College at Westmont, 5:30, 7:30pm – The league-leading Warrior women’s and men’s teams try to hold on to first place in the Golden State Athletic Conference.

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Emmanuel and Dominique Griffon, visiting from down south, enjoyed the day on the water… and the whales too!

Montecitan Lynnette McCoy (right) with visitors Sis Woodside (middle) and Brooke Lucy from Washington State. (Thanks for the camera tip, Sis! See you in Seattle…)

Mesa resident Christine Wilson (right) and Texan Nathalie Hersch soak up a few rays in between viewings.

typically spend weekends out on the water after working all week,” Kevin told me. “It’s a great arrangement, really, we both love the public outreach and educational piece – not to mention being out on the water – and we just come down to the Harbor from our place on the Mesa. Easy and a great way to spend a Santa Barbara weekend.”

I agree Kevin. We had a blast. Thanks to the Condor Express and Captain Dave and everybody else on board, we’ll be back again in summer to see what we see then.

So… Which Is It? I chewed my sandwich slowly, weighing my response. Bob’s hearty laugh filled the

TEACHERS: OUR GREATEST ASSET

air and my permeated my thinking. I’m no whale anymore, and I sure as hell ain’t no damned chicken, I thought. And I’m still hungry, still ambitious.

Still hunting. Always hunting.

“I’m a coyote,” I said quietly, half to myself, the recognition and slow acceptance of change wafting over me. “I’m not a whale anymore,” a little too loud now, people turning, wondering what the hell I’m talking about.

“I’m a coyote,” even stronger now, assertive. Less predictable. Totally insane to anyone within earshot.

“You’re a coyote alright,” my friend laughed, agreeing wholeheartedly, “You always have been, man.”

Elizabeth Teare

BA, MPhil, PhD Yale University

Upper School English 4 years at Crane (20 years experience) Fourth year as a Crane parent

Favorite Crane Tradition

8th Grade Graduation Vignettes

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KINDERGARTEN TO 8TH GRADE 1795 SAN LEANDRO LANE MONTECITO 969.7732 X 127

CRANE

COUNTRY DAY SCHOOL

Teach Your Children Well

by Madeline Levine

Crane Sponsored Enrichment

The Clarice Smith National Teachers Institute at the Smithsonian

APPLICATION DEADLINE FEBRUARY 13

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I guess he’s right. And I’m relieved, frankly.

Now I don’t have to eat one of my kids’ chickens to prove it.

Stuff I Like First of all, I like kids’ sports, especially kids’ soccer. And there are two teams from Santa Barbara who have accomplished quite a bit already this year, and have their sights set on even more.

Nick Svensson, a Mesa resident and local realtor, coaches both of his sons, Alec (9) and Riley (11). Alec’s team, the U10 Knuckleheads, and Riley’s, the U12 Silver Bullets (nice name, Coach), are both traveling to Bakersfield on February 23 and 24, 2013 to compete in the Section 10 playoffs. To give you an idea of what that means, both teams won first place in the AYSO Region 122 playoffs. Region 122 consists of Santa Barbara, Goleta and Montecito, and has 32 U10 and 24 U12 teams. Then both teams took second place in the Area playoffs in December and January, playing well against squads from Ventura, Camarillo, Santa Paula, Ojai, South Oxnard and Port Hueneme, Fillmore, North Oxnard and El Rio and Carpinteria.

Now they are off to Bakersfield for the aforementioned Section 10 playoffs, consisting of 8 Areas and 60 Regions representing approximately 60,000 players.

Not bad for a few grade school kids.

Nice work, Knuckleheads and Silver Bullets. Go get ‘em boys.

(And hey Nick, you’re a good coach and role model for these guys. Congratulations.

Give ‘em hell out there.)

SB’s own U10 Knuckleheads: Tyler Chirappa, Kai Zukor, Alec Svensson, Chris Graham, Josh Graham, Brandon McNulty, Finlay Hastings, Max Tapia-Arango and Stuart Berkus. Good luck guys.

Where friends meet S T E A K • S E A F O O D • C O C K TA I L S

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And here’s the U12 Silver Bullets: Matthew Duncan, Dylan Fogg, Brandon Gonzalez, Ricardo Mata, Shaymus O’Hearn, Riley Roach, Riley Svensson, Asher Thompson, Bryce Tomlinson, Bryce Warrecker and Joshua Watkins.

Play hard, boys, do SB proud.

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I also like the Lobero Theatre, and it is having its annual Hats Off Luncheon (read: party) on Fat Tuesday, February 12, at the Four Seasons Biltmore Hotel.

This year’s decadent, jazz-filled event will be held in honor of SB’s own Norman Gimbel, famous for his classic lyrics in “Girl from Ipanema” and “Killing Me Softly” (among many others). Hats and masks are encouraged for this festive Mardi Gras bash with a Cajun menu. This is going to be fun, for sure, so contact Marianne Clark for tickets right away at (805) 966-4946 (x611) or mclark@ lobero.com. $125 gets you lunch and entertainment for a few hours as well as a few raffle tickets. And all proceeds benefit the Encore: Lobero campaign to renovate the theatre. It’s a double whammy – fun and philanthropic. What more could you want for Fat Tuesday?!

Finally, I like health. (Or, I suppose, I hate sickness.) UCSB Arts & Lectures presents New York Times best-selling author and USC professor of medicine and engineering Dr. David B. Agus in a talk titled “The End of Illness” (just like his book). Dr. Agus is the real deal, heading USC’s Westside Cancer Center and the Center for Applied Molecular Medicine. His perspective on health is unique and tosses much of the popular definition on its head. I’ll be there. (What can I say? I’m 37 and looking forward to many healthy, robust years at the Sentinel.) Monday, February 11, 8pm, Campbell Hall. $15 (general public); $10 (UCSB students). Call (805) 893-3535 or check out www.ArtsAndLectures.ucsb. edu.

Peace.

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SBIFF2013

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

by Peter Festivus

photos by Julie Bifano

FILM FESTIVAL FINALE It’s all over except for the mopping up.

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anta Barbara was virtually “on hold” for the past eleven days – okay, for the last two weekends anyway – during which some 200-plus films and myriad confabs and writers-directors-producers panels and parties offered Santa Barbarians and tourists alike the chance to mingle, comingle and cohabitate.

The “real” parties, within which the “real” celebrities may or may not have been present were difficult and/or impossible to get into if you weren’t either a friend of the celeb or a friend of someone from the inner sanctum of SBIFF (Santa Barbara International Film Festival).

But, hey, the fact is that those people really are better than you or me (or that guy behind the tree with the camera), because they really are in the movie business and you really are not. The festival was still a time for partying, though, even by the mere hoi polloi – you know, the real people that make this city work.

SBIFF 2013 was fun. And we can’t wait for next year.

After party VIP attendees Jean Flanagan and Theresa Harris toast to a fun filled Film Festival.

Andrea Hamlett and Brian Turbey excitedly take part in SBIFF.

Jovial locals Anna and Casson Demmon with Katie Labourde and Lucas Martinez wait to get into the jam-packed Arlington.

Matt Tavianini, Roberta Parkinson, Brad Sherman, Geneva Sherman, Charles Caldwell and Dana Ortner gather together outside the Arlington, ready for a good time.

The stylish Kory Voxen, Ted Gagliano and Loic Bailly get together for a quick pose at the Daniel Day-Lewis VIP after party.

Brad Nack and Bill Mclain don’t mind waiting in line to see Daniel Day-Lewis!

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F E B R UA RY 8 – 1 5 | 2 0 1 3 |

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Happy film festival attendees Karinda Lahens and Tara Stephenson pose for a quick shot.

Local SB film lovers Geoff Cockrell and Cayla Zimmer have a blast at the soirée.

Local sisters Alessa and Ariana Valenzuela show their love for SBIFF.

Spirited SBIFF fans Nico Juber and Aaron Abramowitz.

Chris Lancashire, Catherine Gee and Warren Butler having a marvelous time.

If becoming more healthy is one of your 2013 resolutions, massage is an excellent way to jump-start your process!

Energetic Film Festival attendees Melody and Joe Delshad pose with Randall Shulman.

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Marlo Tell with client John Mann, Team USA Water Polo.

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8 – 15 | 2013

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...And so we share with you these expressions — a small smattering of love notes we’ve received via the grateful hearts of recent dream families. Their echoes are the same: gratitude, compassion and sincere exchanges around the fulfillment of a final wish. Valentines are gestures of love.

Please visit our website and offer a gesture to a dreamer.

May it serve as a token of your affection for those facing illness.

“I am filled with happiness. You opened the door for me – not with the gifts – but sending loving people to my world. I could ask for nothing greater. I’m not an emotional person, but today I can barely contain myself. I think it’s because ever since I lost my hair to chemo and total strangers were kind and supportive, I’ve had a renewal in humankind. I am in the best place possible emotionally, a place I could never have conceived of.”

–– Marilyn, dream recipient “You never know how deeply an act of kindness can touch your heart until you have experienced it, as we have. The gifts you sent brought so much joy to my children and a ray of hope and happiness during this difficult time. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for thinking of my children.”

–– Fernando, dream recipient “The new computer has brought my family right into my humble abode. To be able to talk to and see my grandchildren is such a blessing and a dream come true! Some people are called away quickly, they never have the chance to say ‘good-bye,’ or, ‘I love you.’ But thanks to you, I now have the technology to keep in touch with them. I am truly blessed!”

–– Rita, dream recipient

The mission of Dream Foundation is to enhance the quality of life for individuals and their families facing a life-threatening illness by fulfilling a heart’s final wish.

www.dreamfoundation.org

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by Jana Mackin

A journalist and a poet, Jana has lived everywhere from New Orleans and Butte, Montana to Saudi Arabia, where she taught English to children.

Her articles have appeared in numerous publications, including The Washington Post and San Francisco Examiner. She now lives in Goleta.

Valentine for Old Town

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ar from the scripted spectacle of Super Bowl XLVII, amidst heated tweets about whether Beyonce flashed an Illuminati sign or which of the Harbaugh brothers would triumph in that threadbare Civil War meme, I defiantly turned my back on the big-scream plasma TV to write a Valentine to Old Town.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a die-hard N’Awlins Aints fan – and wasn’t the least bit surprised the power went out in the Super Dome – but I knew Valentine’s Day was approaching and I wanted to perform an Old Town walkabout to trace the song line from Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s Sonnet 43: “How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.”

So I did.

My valentine to Old Town is not a Hallmark Cupid shooting text messages at the hearts of lovers or a sound-bite “kiss me” stamped on Sweethearts Conversation Hearts manufactured since the early 1900s. Rather, it’s a serendipitous pedestrian chronicle of the denizens, sights and sounds that bespeak my love for this place. This place that is now my home. This place where the Amtrak locomotive whistles through my usual night sweats, triggering a waking dream of rainbows jumping out of the sun-streams pouring through my skylight. This place where I wake to the springtime sounds of chickens clucking, sheets snapping on clotheslines and brooms sweeping the night’s dramas off the sidewalk and away into the ether.

How Do I love Thee – Goleta Barbers’ Pole?

On most any given day, the Goleta Barbers’ Marvy pole turns counterclockwise inviting locals to join in the spectacle of a barber shop of dear homeboys choreographing that spinning synchronicity of haircut turned social event. No clip joint offers the laughter of trash talk and rap wafting to the pulse of the barber pole as it spins and spins in unbiased reverie to the tune of clippers’ buzz.

“I love the people, the culture within the people and the way the sun rises,” said Pedro (Pete) Jimenez, shop owner.

“I love the beach, the culture, and the lemons,” said Barber Alex Diaz.

“I love the people, t he women, the community... the power within the community,” said Barber Gabriel Guzman.

Old Town casts her spell upon those as far away as Angola, New York. Don’t believe me? Just ask David Wiley, after his haircut.

“I love how the people are forgiving here,” said Wiley, 49. “I feel comfortable in my own skin. I don’t have to put on airs to feel comfortable.”

Me either, David. And that’s just one of the ways I love my Old Town.

How Do I Love Thee – Starry Goleta Logo?

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E T A D E SAVE TH Old Spanish Days

Vaqueros y Vaqueras July 31 - August 4, 2013 89th Year

Doug Yartz, artisan, surfer, local. A true free spirit and the very best of the Goodland.

What a celestial motif Doug Yartz has crafted as Goleta’s unofficial logo. That single star has been plucked from the artist’s creative firmament and deemed widely the Goodland’s symbol. That single star illuminates Old Town’s identity out of the shadows of Santa Barbara, it spotlights our community’s unique psyche. Even better that Yartz himself, a native whose Surf Country Surf & Skate Shop has been in business for more than 15 years, is the fact that he has created Old Town’s starry light to play against the darkness of packaged commoditization and consumption.

“I love that Goleta’s Old Town has its own identity,” said Yartz. “I love how people really care about Old Town – and the beach of course.”

Me too, Doug. But there’s more. Let me count the ways.

How Do I Love Thee – Grip-N-Grab Litter Pick-Up Stick?

A couple senior volunteers pick up litter from Hollister Avenue’s gutter and sidewalk in front of The Natural Café. All eyes focus on the ground to grip-n-grab cigarette butts, dirty diapers and repulsive discards that all except these penitent trash pilgrims seem to ignore. Their quiet war on trash is their own silent Valentine to Old Town, ever vigilant in their calling to keep streets clean. Yes, someone has recently tagged a wall of The Natural Café’s building. No matter, though, someone will later whitewash the scar away and these volunteers will continue to gripn-grab trash out of Old Town. ...continued p.27

Please visit www.sbfiesta.org for more details and further information

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License # 936794

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Need help with your Valentine libations?

Let Jason and Brian at The Grotto assist you!

Montecito’s only full service beverage store.

We Deliver!

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...continued from 25 The world famous Natty Café.

How I do love thee so.

The grab-n-go litter stick is your Cupid’s arrow through my heart, dear Janet Seaboyer and Don Nason. Thanks for all you do to keep Old Town exactly what it is.

“I love that it’s so open, not a whole lot of traffic, unpopularized,” said volunteer Janet Seaboyer, 59.

“We love the diversity of people,” said Don Nason, 73, who, with his wife, Judy, are among the anti-litters corps. He is a 10year veteran grip-n-grabber. “We love the opportunities with the university and the homeless, the opportunity to learn about life and serve people.”

Well said, Don. Well said indeed.

avocado advertisement posted outside the store, to soar up and up through the Gulfstream jet roar over the airport. From atop Old Town telephone poles, crows get a bird’s-eye view of a gutted, graffitied telephone booth around the corner from Santa Cruz. A telephone directory hangs from the booth, yellow pages weatherblanched white. Perhaps some desperate Romeo fingered through the pages trying to find a contact for his Juliette. A sad reminder, perhaps, of an unsent Valentine due to a lost number.

How too, I love the two-headed Mercury Cougar in front of McLean’s Auto Body & Paint Shop on South Fairview Avenue, my coming and going Sphinx that asks constantly the riddle of my life.

What is the answer? I don’t know. But I’ll be damned if that Sphinx doesn’t keep me thinking, keep me longing for an answer, keep me searching.

How Do I Love Thee – Alpha Thrift Store Mannequins

Simon Taylor, my Valentine, please do keep Left Coast Books a quiet sanctuary.

Left Coast Books is a repository of great art and literature, whether it be Adorno, Steinbeck, Arbus or Marx. This independent bookstore is a survivor of the big bookstore chains Farenheit 451 buy-out flames that have made a Dresden of so many local booksellers. Further, this bookstore attests to the old adage “location, location, location,” as it sits quietly, situated amidst the vast diversity of Old Town businesses.

A Valentine of another kind, I suppose, for Simon Taylor, shop owner and custodian of a bookstore of wonder.

“I like the neighbors. I like my pint of Fuller’s ESB stout at the Mercury Lounge and the huevos rancheros at Domingo’s Café,” said Taylor. He stopped, then started again.

“And hey, we’re sandwiched between a bar and a massage place. What can be better?”

Words of wisdom, Simon. Indeed.

How Do I Love Thee – Lonely Old Man Hunched Over A Shopping Cart with A Quart of Jim Beam and a Package of Men’s Depends

How Do I Love Thee – Mercury Lounge?

For 50 cents you can fly on a Palomino Pegasus in front of Santa Cruz Market.

What looks like a coin-operated child’s ride is an invitation to soar above the Hass

Last but not least, I love that sweet messenger God of Goodland camaraderie and libations. If ever there was a watering hole that epitomized Old Town as an unofficial welcome center for local habitués, Alpha Thrift cashier Mercedes Ruvalcava talks straight – just like an Old Town lover should.

Praxiteles would have loved those bald, alluring storefront mannequins at the Alpha Thrift Store. How he would have stared and wondered at the curves of these cameos, full body dolls – part window dressing and part art. I stand before them in the shop window, wishing they would speak, mute alienhuman hybrids that model hand-me-down gowns for every season. Still, inside Alpha, the personnel speak.

“I love the view, the people and the stores are cheaper,” said cashier Mercedes Ruvalcaba, 39.

Right to the point, Mercedes, right to the point.

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Jana’s Journeys

S

pring celebrates youth, so take the kids for some music. The Mariachi Sol de México de Jose Hernandez performs a family-friendly concert showcasing the twelve-member traditional mariachi band with a five-generation family tree of mariachi musicians that hail from the La Sierra del Tigre region of Jalisco, Mexico. This free concert will be held on Friday, February 8 at 7pm, at Isla Vista Elementary School, 6875 El Colegio Road.

Call (805) 893-5037 for more details.

This is simple, and genuine. I love thee, old friend, for thou mirror that a fate worse than death never cursed my beloved, my Jim. For that, I am eternally grateful.

How Do I Love Thee – Flying Horse, Gutted Phone Booth and Two-Headed Car?

Oh Palomino Pegasus adorning my beloved Santa Cruz market. Be mine.

How Do I Love Thee – Left Coast Books?

F E B R UA RY 8 – 1 5 | 2 0 1 3 |

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peaking of youth, you can “Feel Like a Star Celebrating the Oscar Season” and benefit the Page Youth Center at the same time. Enjoy a red carpet evening of fun and tributes, featuring live music

by Area 51, entertainment, dancing and a silent and live auction. This event will be held on Saturday, February 9 at 5:30pm, at the Page Youth Center, 4540 Hollister Avenue. Walk the red carpet and benefit the Page Center and its many youth programs. Tickets are available by calling (805) 967-8778 or going to www. pageyouthcenter.org.

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nd how about some family enchantment when The Mermaid Theatre of Nova Scotia presents “A Brown Bear, a Moon, and a Caterpillar,” recreating these favorite children’s tales through evocative music, stunning visual effects and cutting-edge puppetry. The event will be held Sunday, February 10 at 3pm, at UCSB Campbell Hall. Ticket prices are $15 general public, $10 child. Find out more at www.ArtsAndLectures.ucsb.edu. (Editorin-Chief Matt will be there… oh, sorry, maybe that will dissuade attendees.) it is most certainly the Merc. The sweetest Valentine of all is simply to sit outside in the Merc’s backyard tiki hut bathed in the opiate scent of the ocean’s perfume.

“I love that I can smell the ocean,” said Dawn O’Brien, proprietor and owner of the Merc. “I love that I can smell the ocean everywhere in Old Town.”

Me too, Dawn. But I love that wonderful smell most at the Merc.

Happy Valentine’s Day, Old Town.

Much love.

And much gratitude for your open arms.

My Mercury Lounge Valentines.

I love you all. Period.

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8 – 15 | 2013

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You Have Your Hands Full

by Mara Peters Former editor for the fashion/lifestyle section of the New York

Post, Mara moved to London and worked as a contributing editor for the Daily Mail’s You Magazine, freelancing for Look Magazine, NY Post and the Style Magazine for The Sunday Times. To remain sane during diaper years she writes a mommy blog, You Have Your Hands Full – www.handsfullsb.com.

The Stepford Wives

W

alking into a book club dinner the other night in Hope Ranch, my best friend turned to me and whispered about the hostess, “She is this amazingly calm parent; you know, not the screamer-type.”

“You’re kidding me right. She literally doesn’t scream?” I asked incredulously.

“Absolutely true. Doesn’t scream, doesn’t even use an ‘outside’ voice,” she confirmed.

I looked at her skeptically. Was that some kind of joke? I searched my friend’s face but she wasn’t smiling – there was no punch line here. The statement was definitive. I was entering the home of a non-screamer.

I knew immediately I didn’t like her.

Alpha’s in the Dog House

Yelling Is Effective Parenting Let’s be honest here. I yell. Not just a raised voice. A full-blown scream. And it happens all day long, every day. “GET YOUR SHOES ON,” before school.

“WHO DIDN’T CLEAR THEIR PLATE,” after dinner. “BRUSH YOUR TEETH,” “WASH YOUR HANDS,” several times a

What can I say? The calm, cool, detached mom is just someone I can’t relate to.

In the interest of journalistic candor (and to prove that the Peters’ house is the real deal), I’ve decided to air some of my very own dirty laundry. Here’s the scene behind our closed doors: Alpha comes home after a long business trip. Still an optimist, he has the idea that he is going to stride gaily through the front door to find his four beautiful children lined up to embrace him, and his wife, who so desperately missed him, yearning for him with an anxious, sexy smile and a roll of her eyes towards the bedroom.

Oh Alpha.

Instead, he gets witching hour: Four hyped up kids, a dog running circles around them and a strung out mom at the end of her rope screaming at the whole crew, “STOP CHASING EACH OTHER AND SIT DOWN NOW OR YOU ARE ALL GOING STRAIGHT TO YOUR ROOMS.”

A little screaming never did anyone any harm.

day. “GO TO BED… NOW,” at bedtime. I think about a scream-free day and know it’s just not possible. The idea of a mom capable of always keeping her cool smacks (hard) of a mom completely disconnected to her environment.

“Could ‘we’ not yell so much at the kids?” he asks me in an out of touch, slightly condescending way after the kids are tucked in.

I am not going to overwrite here. I’ll let your imagination go with this one. Suffice it to say, he gets an earful of highly pitched words – and there is no welcome home bedroom ceremony. If you are with kids all day, you scream. Simple. What he didn’t realize then, he does now.

Yep, She’s a Screamer So, anyway, back to my story. There we were, at the front door of my nemesis parent: the calm, thoughtful type (she probably doesn’t resent her husband for long business trips either). She opened the door with a broad, sweet smile and welcomed us in.

Before I even made it into her foyer I blurted out, “Do you really not yell at your kids?”

The shocked hostess looked at both of us.

“Of course I scream,” she said. “What kind of parent do you think I am?”

Okay. Thank god. We’re all good here.

My friend couldn’t accept it, “ – no you don’t, I’m sure you’re not a screamer.”

That was when I turned to her and asked point blank, “Why is it bad parenting to lose it on your kids?”

I had a flash of a few summers ago when we were trapped at Alpha’s best friend’s house on the East Coast for a week. Their family philosophy was to delete the word “no” from their terminology. Seriously. Even when their bully-child would kick Jackson in the face as he climbed the slide. Or when they wanted to watch TV all day. Even when it was bedtime and they wouldn’t sleep without a parent next to them. Alpha and I would sit alone at the dinner table as our friends split up for the night in separate kids’ rooms.

They had created a living hell for themselves.

Screaming doesn’t look so bad, now, does it?

There Goes the Neighborhood The night of book club, my best friend couldn’t see it my way so I opened it for discussion over dinner. Instead of discussing the book, we all discussed the finer points of screaming: what degree of pitch we used for which behaviors, do boys require more screaming than girls, at what age does screaming lose its effectiveness and on from there. It was a revelation and relief to all at the table that we were (all too) human.

And my good friend finally admitted her guilt, confessing that she too yells at her kids. Like any positive support group, we circled around her and told her she is doing the best she can. Let the guilt go.

As far as I’m concerned, there is just one downside to screaming. (And no, it’s not the risk of permanent self-esteem damage to my kids.) I’ve created a very loud environment around me. When I yell, the kids start yelling; multiply that by four and we have a real volume issue. I’m told at parent-teacher conferences that my children need to work on their inside voices. I cringe when they are all in the pool, screaming, that the neighbors will be looking to move.

I even feel a tad guilty – for the neighbors, anyway.

Peters’ Pick Semi~Annual Heart& Sole SALE! February 13th ~ 28th!

1273 COAST VILLAGE ROAD • 805.845.0055 1306 MOnTAnA AVE. SAnTA MOnICA • 310.907.5883 MOn - SAT 10-6 • SUn 11-5 S H O P : w w w. M a t t i A n d Me . c o m

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e call it the Treasure Beach – most other people know it as the Carpinteria Bluffs Nature Preserve. Alpha shops at Goodwill on Carrillo Street well before our excursion; he gets a large sack of gold, silver and jewels – to sprinkle out of his pocket when the kids are not looking. The entire hike down to the beach lends for discussions Team Peters hunting for gold at Treasure Beach. about pirate boats and tides, all places where that treasure may be found. As other families look for starfish and sea anemones, ours race all over the beach and rocks, possessed by the find. And sure enough, they get lucky as they search the nooks and crannies of the beach. Think yours might be too old to participate? Our 11-year-old still believes a pirate rows to shore, hides gold coins and jewels in the rocks and then leaves.

Carpinteria Bluffs Nature Preserve, Ballard Ave, Exit 85.

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WINE & DINE

MAKE A DATE OUT OF IT .com

For the Love of Chocolate

F E B R UA RY 8 – 1 5 | 2 0 1 3 |

by Kim Wiseley

by

We’re switching things up this week. Instead of telling you what to do right now, we’re going to help you plan ahead. For Valentine’s Day. (Remember?)

Valentine’s Day is all about love. And not just “significant-other love,” but all around love for everyone special in our lives. Whether you love your husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, best friend, brother, sister or dog, we think you should make a date out of this lovely holiday. So here’s the skinny on ways to celebrate your love this year.

What: Blend In Love Where: Sunstone Winery & Villa, 125 North Refugio Road, Santa Ynez When: Saturday, February 16, 1pm Why: Join Sunstone President Bion Rice and his wife Anna for an intimate EROS wine blending experience to create a bottle of your own unique EROS blend.

How: Blend your way to a romantic Valentine’s weekend.

What’ll It Cost Me: $275/couple or $225/couple for wine club members (includes entry to EROS LOVES CHOCOLAT tasting event as well)

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hocolate: [noun] – the sweet, milky, salty, decadent delight that gets us through our day. Usually devoured shortly after lunch, it gives us something sweet to look forward to. Comes in the form of cookies, cupcakes and candies. In its simplest form – the piece of chocolate – it simply soothes the soul.

Just the thought of it has your mouth watering, right?

On Wednesday, February 13, and Thursday, February 14, you’re invited to head into a little bit of chocolate heaven. Renowned Martha Stewart food editor and artisan pastry chef – Elizabeth Colling – will be hosting a Pop-up Chocolate Boutique at Maison K. Not only do you get to meet Elizabeth, but you’ll be able to shop her homemade confections for your loved one(s) or yourself. (Note: we think there’s absolutely nothing wrong with loving and spoiling yourself.)

Colling will be showcasing a Valrhona Tart for Two, Dark Chocolate Caramels with Fleur de Sel, Homemade Oreos (we’ll say it again, Homemade Oreos), Triple Chocolate Brownies, Hot Fudge Sauce and Hot Chocolate with Homemade Heart Marshmallows.

We fully anticipate a quasi-religious experience. o for the love of chocolate, don’t miss out on this sweet Valentine’s Day pop-up shop.

Head over to Maison K, located at 1159 Coast Village Road in Montecito, from 11am – 5pm on both days. And, if you want to pre-order any of the above items, you can email Elizabeth at elizabeth.colling@gmail.com.

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Hey Ladies

by Briana Westmacott

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an’t you feel it? It’s surrounding us. Hearts and candy and flowers and love are everywhere.

Valentine’s Day has definitely arrived. Time to tell those special to you just how much you love and care for them. But… what about your friends?

Well, amigas, listen up, because this is good and it involves wine.

This Monday, February 11, we encourage you to grab a girlfriend and head down to Vino Divino Wine Shop for a special “ladies night” wine tasting event. Tucked in a boutiquelike shop, Vino Divino carries wines from local vintners along with global varieties as well.

Owner Sean Larkins opened the shop’s doors on the corner of Mission and De La Vina seven years ago and he’s been happily serving wine lovers ever since. His selection is broad with new bottles landing in the shop on a daily basis. Sean seeks out limited edition, small production bottles that are reasonably priced. You can participate in their regular wine tastings, join their wine club, or just buy a bottle to sip on in their quaint lounge area.

So, ladies, be sure to come down on Monday between 5 and 7pm. We can’t think of a better way to launch your Valentine’s week than celebrating el amor con amigas y vino y… que mas?

What: Dine Under the Stars Where: Bella Vista Restaurant, Four Seasons Biltmore Santa Barbara When: Thursday, February 14, 3 – 9pm Why: Enjoy a 4-course champagne dinner complete with Milk Chocolate Marscapone Millefoglie, Pistachio Praline and Saffron Kumquat to top it all off.

How: In style, of course, at the Biltmore.

What’ll It Cost Me: $95 per person (excludes tax and gratuity) What: Sweet Red Rose Decadent Facial Where: The Spa at Bacara When: Now thru February 28, 2013 Why: Let’s face it, your skin deserves a little love every now and again.

How: Start with a sweet red rose cleanser, tonic and two nourishing masks, followed by a sweet strawberry serum and rose whip moisturizer.

What’ll It Cost Me: This 50-minute treatment is $185 and includes full access to the spa’s luxurious facilities (heated pool and jacuzzi, steam room, lounge...)

What: Paint and Drink Wine Where: The Painted Cabernet, 1229 State Street When: Thursday, February 14 – Saturday, February 16, 6:30pm Why: You love wine and you love painting. Why not combine the two and let sparks fly?

How: Choose from three Valentine-themed works to paint with instruction: Lovers Lane in Santa Barbara, Heart4 or Pink Tree.

What’ll It Cost Me: $40 per person (includes all materials needed as well as a glass of wine) What: Set Sail Where: Santa Barbara Celebration Cruises, Stearns Wharf When: Thursday, February 14, 5:15 – 6:45pm Why: Enjoy a stunning 90-minute sunset cocktail cruise.

How: Fall in love with Santa Barbara (and the ones you’re with) all over again.

What’ll It Cost Me: $49 per person (includes a glass of champagne and a chocolate fountain!)

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W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

REAL ESTATE

2506 Las Positas Road

by Michael Calcagno Michael has consistently been ranked in the

top 1% of Sotheby’s agents worldwide. Shortly after joining Sotheby’s, he partnered with Nancy Hamilton to form one of the most successful real estate teams in Santa Barbara. Michael can be reached at Michael@ HomesinSantaBarbara.com

Rates are moving… Are you?

T

his week was a great week for new properties hitting the market. Scrolling through the recent inventory, trying to pick my favorites, proved to be more challenging than it has been in the past. It was not only challenging to see how the market is and has been changing, but many buyers are also having a hard time wrapping their minds around the recent mortgage fluctuation.

Mortgage rates have been on a rollercoaster ride since the beginning of the year. They began the year with 3.34% and hit a high of 3.55%, breaking the 3.5% mark. Which, no matter how you slice it, is still pretty cheap. Older friends of mine have regaled me with tales of the early 1980s, when the prime interest rate was 16% and mortgages were going for upwards of 20%!

In other financial news, the much-feared and ballyhooed “Fiscal Cliff” was avoided; the pending debt ceiling debate was shelved, and the U.S. economy has continued to show signs of improvement, led by housing and the jobs market. Additionally, the global economy appears to be on more solid footing, led by strong results in the Eurozone.

So what does all this mean for house hunters? It means that rates have gone up, and down, and have gone up again slowly since the first of this year. As for what that portends for the future: most experts believe there will not be a huge increase in rates this year, but there probably won’t be a huge drop either. Plan on seeing the same up and down trend over this next year with a possible slow and steady increase in rates. In any case, rates haven’t been this low in decades; if you’re thinking of buying, you really should take advantage of them.

2905 Calle Noguera

Purchase price: $509,000 Down payment (10%): $50,900 Loan amount: $458,100 Loan payment: $2,057

(30-yr fixed at 3.5% (APR 3.57%)) Property taxes estimate: $847

Home/mortgage insurance estimate: $309

Total Monthly Payment:

$2,832

1222 Shoreline Drive Purchase price: $1,200,000 Down payment (20%): $240,000 Loan amount: $960,000 Loan payment: $4,391 (30-yr fixed at 3.65% (APR 3.71%))

Property taxes estimate: $1,118 Home insurance estimate: $100 Total Monthly Payment:

$5,609

Purchase price: $925,000 Down payment (20%): $185,000 Loan amount: $740,000 Loan payment: $3,385 (30-yr fixed at 3.65% (APR 3.71%))

Property taxes estimate: $847 Home insurance estimate: $80 Total Monthly Payment:

$4,312

Mortgage statistics provided by Justin M. Kellenberger, Senior Loan Officer at SG Premier Lending Group, Inc. Justin can always be reached at justin@sgpremierlending.com.

Note: The foregoing economic breakdowns do not include potential tax benefit analyses since that will ultimately depend upon a number of additional factors. But home ownership can indeed have tremendous tax-savings potential and should be considered with your realtor and/or tax accountant as part of the ownership decision.

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...continued from 13 intoxicated, failing to take into account the downside of DUI (not just fines and jail and public humiliation but potentially harming a loved one or a total stranger), and it is not clear that higher penalties would have any lessening effect. (Although I suppose one could argue that the close cases – buzzed drivers, for example – might still have enough wits to do the right thing, especially if fines were $20,000 and there was mandatory jail time.)

And that type of legal framework would harm all sorts of businesses (notably restaurants and bars and wineries… although it would help cabbies and limos and other drivers and mass transit). I guess it’s tough. And it’s even tougher when you have to look across the table at a mother or father or sister or brother who has lost a relative or friend to some drunken moron going the wrong way on a freeway.

I don’t know. Maybe I’ll just get a bike.

(Can I drink and bike these days? It was one of my favorite pastimes at UCSB but that was a long time ago.) Thanks Darryl.

– MSM)

Ad Support Thanks again, Matt, for the quick and friendly service as you delivered five copies of your Sentinel straight to mi casa! All are on their way to Ventura for Joel Huff’s mother, special request. We will continue to support the businesses that advertise in your paper, and always enjoy the restaurant articles.

Ann Pless Santa Barbara (Editor’s Note: Not a problem, Ann, we’re doing our very best around here to keep the momentum going and dropping off papers is the best request I get. Now, if you were asking me to pick them up… well, let’s just not go there. More importantly, I really enjoyed Wendy Jenson’s piece on Joel and Scarlett Begonia a couple weeks back, and hope that his Mom likes it too. Truth be told, a (very) foodie friend and I went in for dinner a couple weeks ago and were totally blown away. That’s a hell of a meal Joel and Crista

F E B R UA RY 8 – 1 5 | 2 0 1 3 |

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Give a Gift to your Valentine & Make a Dream Come True!

are putting out, and any self-respecting food fanatic with a fetish should get over there as fast as feasible. My buddy has already been back at least once with out-of-town guests, and I understand that Joel hit it out of the park again. And remember The Tragedy of the Lamb (Vol. 1 Issue 2) all those months ago? (‘Twas just our second issue.) Maybe we should send a few of those down to Joel’s mommy too. Thanks again, Ann, go buy lots of stuff from our advertisers! – MSM)

Benefit for Dream Foundation - February 8th, 9th & 10th

Weapons of Mass Destruction and the Second Amendment Revisited Hi Matt, I enjoyed reading the recent letter from Thomas Bryan regarding the Second Amendment and weapons of mass destruction, as well as your comments relating thereto. Rather than reply substantively, I thought I would send you a Washington Times article by Judge Andrew Napolitano, as he articulates the topic much better than I could.

I understand this is a hot button issue and completely understand if you choose not to publish Judge Napolitano’s piece. However, there appears to be a great void in people’s understanding as to what the argument is all about, and so if for no other reason than for your own edification I decided to send it to you.

I very much enjoy reading your paper and wish you all the best.

Larry Bond Santa Barbara (Editor’s Note: Thanks Larry, believe it or not, I actually read what people send and had a great time with Napolitano’s article. It’s an important issue, obviously, and this is certainly one way of seeing it. Ultimately, I was glad for the thoughtful and thought-provoking read, even if I don’t personally agree with all of it.

Thanks again… for those interested in reading it, just Google “The Right to Shoot Tyrants, Not Deer” and it should pop up as the top link.

– MSM)

Simple. Rustic. California.

Coast 2 Coast Collection La Arcada Courtyard 1114 State Street, Suite 10 ~ Santa Barbara, CA 93101 Phone: 805.845.7888 ~ www.C2Ccollection.com Store Hours: Mon-Sat 10am-6pm & Sunday Noon-5pm

Nicole Lvoff vocals Woody DeMarco piano Randy Tico bass

Thursday, February 14th

SPECIAL OFFER FROM LOBERO THEATER!

State & Fig restaurant is offering a magical deal for It’s Magic!

Get a special Abracadabra ticket for $35/kids, $60/adults which includes a freshly-prepared meal at State & Fig, and premiere seating for either performance of It’s Magic! at � or 6:30 p.m. only available with this promotion. The “best seats in the house” are available especially for State & Fig customers.

You may purchase your tickets at State & Fig, or by calling the Lobero theater.

Sunday, February 17th

Reservations recommended. Please call (805) 962-5085 1106 State Street, Santa Barbara, CA 93101 www.AndersensSantaBarbara.com

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