SRI SATHYA SAI HRUDAYA NIVASI

or for purchasing any tablets. By around 9 P.M. the condition became too severe and I collapsed on the bed and became unconscious. At this stage Swami appeared as if in dream. He was consoling me not to worry. He was advising "When you are reduced to a helpless situation, the Lord takes over your care under His control. Now you have no penny left with you and are a ZERO. Don 't be ashamed of being a zero. When you become zero I come and give you my hand and lift you up. Yes, I am lifting you up and up".

As Swami was sounding into me the above words, I was slowly regaining consciousness. I felt somebody was calling and actually lifting me up holding my hands. A lady who had adopted me as her dear elder brother was calling me and lifting me. Mrs. Parvathi Ram was then working as a senior nurse in the Apollo Hospitals, Madras. In fact she was with us during the Bhajan that evening. Looking at my condition my son had rushed to her house and had brought her. As Swami was telling that "I am lifting you up" Mrs. Parvathi was trying to lift me from the bed. In no time she arranged to take me to the Apollo Hospital and admitted me in an emergency ward. The doctor on duty diagnosed that it was a case of dehydration and that my pulse was very week. They put me under glucose drip treatment and this process continued till morning. Parvathi was sitting in a chair by the side of the bed and was reading some book on Swami. She was keeping vigil on me and did not sleep a wink during the entire night though she was to resume duty the next morning. I was helpless and allowed her to look after me. The next morning I felt better and I was discharged and brought back home. It took another couple of days for complete recovery.

This sudden set back in health was only a temporary phenomenon. But Swami turned it into a tremendous opportunity to infuse in me the wonderful concept and practice of saranagarhi (surrender). Mentally I gained strength and my faith in Sai. Even in the partnership crisis I left everything unto Him since I was myself a zero without any capacity to tackle the issue by myself I resorted to reading of Sai literature very vigorously. I had nothing else to do, and waited for Swami to take control of the situation. There had been several such instances of His mercy in my life. Because of my intense faith I ceased to worry.

And Swami made the next move!

My aged mother was still living at that time with one of my brothers in Bombay. She had recalled to me several times that she had gone to Tirupathi walking all the way and climbing the hills when she was carrying me in her pregnancy. Somebody had told her that at that point of time if a girl were to be born, it would not be good for the family. So she was praying for a boy child this time.

And her prayers were answered and I was born, a boy. She wanted to call me by the name of Lord of Tirupathi, but my father was already bearing that name Venkateswara. Hence she named me Srinivasan, which is one of the many names of Lord Venkateswra. She had further taken a vow in the name of the same Lord that she would bring me to the temple and offer my hair. Though I was aged 55 I had never visited Tirupathi and could not fulfill the prayer of my mother. After becoming a devotee of Sai, I had no interest left in me to visit other temples and go on pilgrimages to sacred places. Only Sai was my God and Prashanthi Nilayam was the only place of pilgrimage. I was fanatically so strong in my devotion to Sai that I did not recognize any other form of God as worthy of worshipping, since I believed that Swami is the embodiment of all names and forms. It was at that time that I started having visions of my old mother in my dream very regularly. She used to plead with me to go to Tirupathi and offer my hair to the Lord and fulfill her prayers before she left the body. But I was trying to be ‘rational’! Is Lord Balaji (Venkateswara) going to be benefited in any way by the offer of my Hair? Then why is this sentiment about all the foolish sentimental prayers? God is not going to punish if the hair is not offered.

He always forgives and protects His devotees. This is what we learn from Sai. Nevertheless the frequent dreams of my mother continued.

I happened to be reading a book of Swami as usual It was 'Sri Sathya Sai Speaks' but I do not remember which volume it was. There it was! In one His Divine discourses I accidentally stumbled upon a paragraph. It begins with a question from Swami. "Does Lord Balaji need your hair?" Swami answers that the Lord does not want