On Holding Out Until The End Audrey Adams

Task 2 A Cabinet-Apparatus: Digital model of bedroom fragment

I have been confronted by the demand to hold, to be held, being held too close, too much, too tightly…

Throughout the studio I had the responsibility to reflect the closeness and value of ‘the object’; fragments from my bedroom, a Nivea bottle and the light fittings from Georgia’s bathroom.

I obtained them with a desire to hold them close in the face of loss.

I am both the caretaker of these objects and the cared for.

Individual tasks demanded the delivery of a cabinet, in each instance hyphenated; a cabinet-salon, a cabinet-apparatus, a wall-cabinet, a cabinet-cabinet and a grand-cabinet.

The cabinet is an apparatus that gathered the momentum of the studio. The cabinet was always the studio. It was what held us together.

Similar to the act of holding an object within the apparatus, I have reflected on the experiences throughout my degree and hold them tight.

I find myself strangely greeted by the same sense of fear I experienced at the beginning of the semester. In the ballot Spooner made mention of a last studio. I consider this to be a parallel to the final acts of his brother’s life, of his own becoming and the final stages of my education.

This was my final studio before I begin to undertake my major project and I am holding out to cross the finish line.