BOOM! September 2023

Sponsored by Vivian O'Nay

Embracing the Essence of Fall: Timeless Trends for All Ages

As the sweltering summer heat gradually gives way to cooler breezes, anticipation for the arrival of autumn grows among our lovely ladies. Here in Alabama, fall brings more than just a shift in weather; it signifies a transition of both style and spirit. Let's delve into the trends that seamlessly tie together the latest classic fall fashions with the electrifying energy of college football.

As temperatures begin to slowly drop (fingers crossed!) the challenge lies in achieving the perfect balance between staying comfortably cool during our typical warm days while embracing the hues of Fall. Fortunately, our latest market trip yielded an array of lightweight clothing options, presenting a vibrant selection of jewel tones and lively hues. These offerings breathe new life into the traditional fall color spectrum. Our top predictions for the upcoming season include midi-dresses paired with tennis shoes, innovative abstract prints, and colored jeans with a relaxed fit. These trends empower our ladies to revel in both style and comfort, encapsulating the very spirit of autumn.

In Alabama, College football is a cultural phenomenon that unites communities and ignites passions. The rivalry between Auburn and Alabama brings forth not only spirited competition but also a unique blend of fashion trends that celebrate team pride. For fans of the Auburn Tigers, the current trend

on the horizon is the "full-bodied felines"(pictured). These captivating full-print tigers take center stage, infusing ensembles with a touch of untamed elegance. On the opposite end of the rivalry, supporters of the Alabama Crimson Tide gravitate towards the timeless houndstooth print but have also started exploring using checkered print in its place.

Despite the spirited competition on the field, there exist trends that effortlessly bind fans of both Auburn and Alabama. The concept of "not so literal color interpretations" breathes fresh air into the world of showcasing team spirit, eliminating the need for precise shades of crimson or orange and blue.

The perfect accessory can transform almost any basic outfit to the next level. Our favorite locally crafted brand, Zoe & Zeke consistently crafts gorgeous Gameday necklaces and earrings (pictured) adorned with endearing elephants or fierce tigers, allowing you to flaunt your team spirit with finesse.

Meanwhile, Stoney Clover-inspired patches grace bags, sweatshirts (pictured), and tees, featuring team logos and slogans that exude chic and contemporary flair. Team spirit headbands provide a stylish conduit for infusing team colors into your ensemble, adorned with pearls, jewels, and other delightful embellishments that reflect your individuality. The playful twist of clear bags with beaded straps marries fashion and function seamlessly, an ideal gameday companion.

This season, Western white boots emerge as a bold statement piece, fusing southern charm with modern flair. An impeccable choice for enthusiasts of both teams, these boots epitomize Western elegance and easily complement an array of ensembles.

As the allure of fall beckons and the excitement of college football takes hold, we invite you to experience these captivating trends firsthand with us at Vivian O'Nay! Explore the combination of classic fashion and spirited football fever, and discover the perfect ensemble that not only embraces the essence of fall but also showcases your unique style.

At Vivian O'Nay, we take pride in carrying a wide range of clothing options for all shapes, sizes, and ages. Our team is passionate about helping you find the perfect pieces that not only make you look good but also feel good. So come visit us at 3500 Wetumpka Highway in Montgomery, Alabama, and let us help you update your wardrobe for the upcoming season. With our diverse selection of highquality clothing and accessories, you're sure to find something that makes you feel confident, comfortable, and fashionable.

Zoe & Zeke Gameday Earrings

Full Bodied Felines

Patch Gameday Sweatshirts

Publisher/Editor

Jim Watson 334.324.3472 cell/text jim@riverregionboom.com

Contributing Writers

Jeff Barganier

Tracy Bhalla

Greg Budell

Ann Coker

Shawn Junkins Cole

Susan Moore

Vincent O'Keefe

Dr. Blake Raggio

Candy Schulman

Nick Thomas

Louise Tutelian

Andrea Wickstrom

Cover Photography

Photography by DiAnna Paulk photographybydiannapaulk.com

Advertising

Jim Watson, 334.324.3472 jim@riverregionboom.com

Age Well by Serving Others

This month’s cover profile is Shawn Cole, an attorney with Hill Hill Carter Law Firm in Montgomery. Shawn is also a mother of two with her husband Les, their son is attending Auburn University and their daughter is at Montgomery Academy. Even with a busy schedule practicing law, Shawn has immersed herself in serving her community. She serves in many ways, but a few include her church, ChristChurch Anglican, Kiwanis Club of Montgomery, and their major fundraiser, the Alabama National Fair, and Flatline Ministries. Shawn understands the importance of serving others who don’t look like you because that is how you build relationships community-wide. Shawn is a great example of aging well by serving others. We hope you’ll share Shawn’s story with friends and family, they’ll enjoy the reading experience.

We have plenty of other good reads this month including some Fall Fashion ideas from Vivian O’Nay, the River Region’s leader in “Retail Therapy”! We have a sweet story about twin sisters who relive some of their Elvis passions as they turn 70…with some Grace(land). I don’t know how many times my wife and I have discussed the lack of skills in younger generations when it comes to sewing, or even putting a button back on a shirt. These are rare skills today. Well, we have a story of a woman who finally taught herself how to sew! She said it was a better use of her time than bingeing on Netflix! Jeff Barganier traveled to Ft. Payne Alabama to discover an interesting farm, Grand Oaks Farm, where they grow lavender. You’ll enjoy reading about his experience and maybe even take a trip there yourself.

Greg Budell has created a new kind of IRA as he eases into the mindset of retirement, I think he’s on to something many of us would do well to try ourselves, check it out. Did you ever ask the question, “what did I come in here for”? Well, one of our writers helps us better understand what that’s all about, happens way too often at my age ��

There’s plenty more to read and share with your friends and don’t forget to try to complete the BOOM! Word Search for a chance to win $50 BOOM Bucks! Congratulations to Liz Paravicini, our August winner! As you already know our advertisers are an important part of putting BOOM! together each month and I would appreciate it if you would consider supporting them and their services. Thanks for sharing BOOM! with friends and family and sharing your feedback with me. Thanks for reading BOOM!

Age well my friends.

The mission of BOOM! is to serve the folks of the River Region age 50 plus with information and ideas to inspire new experiences, better quality of life and new beginnings.

Jim Watson, Publisher jim@riverregionboom.com

RECYCLE Share with a Friend!

Dr. Blake Raggio, Facial Plastic & Reconstructive Surgeon

The NeckLift

In last month’s article, I discussed the ins and outs of the “Facelift,” a popular cosmetic procedure used to reverse the signs of aging in the mid-face. This month I will discuss the nuances of a “Necklift,” a similarly powerful procedure used to rejuvenate the neck and jawline.

What is a “neck lift”?

The term “neck lift” describes a surgical procedure used to correct age-related neck changes. In a successful Necklift, redundant skin is excised, lax muscles are tightened, and excess neck fat is debulked. More experienced surgeons may implement additional techniques to improve neck contour, which may include chin/jawline augmentation, gland reduction, or additional muscle trimming. Ultimately these techniques used either alone or in combination, create a dramatically more rejuvenated appearance to the neck.

What is the downtime from a Necklift?

Contrary to public belief, recovery from a neck lift is generally well tolerated. Patients can expect “social downtime,” meaning the time it takes to be presentable in public, to last anywhere from 2-4 weeks. During this time, it is normal to expect bruising, swelling, numbness, and some mild discomfort.

What are the different types of “neck lifts”?

The Necklift has evolved tremendously from its initial description wherein only redundant skin was removed, often creating the unsightly “pulled” look associated with such antiquated procedures. Now that we have a better understanding of the neck-related aging process, more comprehensive treatment options are available to address the underlying issues at hand.

To that effect, several types of Necklift variations exist today, which can vary based on their incision requirements (behind the ear, and/or under the chin) and the underlying layers being treated (e.g., skin, fat, muscle, glands). Ultimately, the best thing you can do is to ask your surgeon how he plans to address each of your underlying problem areas as alluded to above, including redundant skin, loose muscle, excess fat, bulging submandibular glands, and/or poor jawline definition. Ultimately, every patient is different, and every surgeon is different, so find someone whom you trust to deliver results consistent with your goals and expectations.

Are there non-surgical alternatives to a Necklift?

Yes and No. While several non-surgical options for neck rejuvenation exist, such as injectables (e.g., Botox, fillers, Kybella), lasers (e.g., CO2, IPL), threads, and energybased devices (e.g., radiofrequency, ultrasound), such options often require multiple treatments and are associated with relatively unpredictable, temporary, and limited results. So, while non-surgical alternatives do exist; however, they each have inherent limitations and should never be considered as an equal replacement to a surgical Necklift.

Who is a good candidate for a surgical Necklift?

Men and women of any age who suffer from age-related neck changes would

benefit from a Necklift, though for most people this represents their 40s to 50s. Ultimately, a detailed assessment of your underlying anatomy is required to determine if a Necklift coincides with your aesthetic goals and expectations.

What is the cost of a Necklift?

The total out-the-door cost of a Necklift varies considerably ($4,000 plus) and will be based on your surgeon’s pricing, facility fees, and anesthesia charges. Of note, the surgery is typically performed in an outpatient setting under general anesthesia (you are asleep) and lasts anywhere from 2-4 hours, depending on the extent of your surgery.

How can I learn more about a neck lift?

If you want to learn more about a neck lift, I suggest consulting with a surgeon experienced in facial rejuvenation surgery. This will ensure that you receive a comprehensive assessment and treatment plan. As a Board-Certified Facial Plastic Surgeon, I always encourage my patients to understand the treatment options available to them before deciding on their plan of action, as oftentimes, a combination of surgical and non-surgical options represents the best option.

As always, choose a surgeon whom you trust. There are few things more important than the relationship you have with your doctor.

In Good Health,

Dr. Blake Raggio Facial Plastic & Reconstructive Surgeon www.RaggioMD.com info@raggiomd.com

Small Business Marketing Support

In today’s marketplace consumers now more than ever make buying decisions based on research and reviews. That is why small businesses must stay out in front, ensuring the first impression a potential customer encounters is positive. Also, customers now more than ever leave comments on their experiences which influence others and affect future business in either a positive or negative direction.

PERKLEE.com is a community-based marketing website promoting small brick-and-mortar businesses. Search for Restaurants, Shopping, Services & MORE, then leave a review of your experience helping future customers make informed buying decisions. Also if you own a business, advertising & marketing costs are at all-time highs, and that is where a platform like PERKLEE.com can fill the gap with its FREE business listings and consumer review service all available at the click of a button. If you are a business owner and you are looking for a marketing partner for your business, then visit http://partners. perklee.com/. Additional marketing services are optional with a paid subscription, allowing simple user-friendly tools to send out your business message and see your traffic grow.

You will never know what might be just around the corner if you don’t ask. PERKLEE.com is a resource consumers can use to help build community and save money while doing it.

5 Things to Try if You Feel Anxious Right Now

Anxiety can impact us all at some point, especially at times of great uncertainty. You may feel tense, restless, or have feeling of impending doom. Your heart rate can increase, you might start breathing rapidly, sweat, tremble, or have trouble concentrating.

But even when anxiety seems intrusive and uncontrollable, there are effective strategies you can use to calm your nerves, accept uncertainty, and feel less anxious. Here are 5 things to try next time anxiety strikes:

1. Get moving. Physical activityis a great way to burn off tension since it releases brain chemicals like serotonin, dopamine, and endorphins. These chemicals can quickly boost your mood, energize you, and relieve anxiety. Even a short burst of activity can help ease tension in the moment. Try taking a walk, dancing to your favorite music, doing jumping jacks, or playing with your dog.

2. Control your breathing. Breath control can stimulate a biological response. When your exhales are longer than your inhales, your heart rate slows and your nervous system relaxes. Try this quick and easy breathing exercise: Simply inhale as you count to four, then exhale as you count to eight. Repeat for several minutes. You should notice your mind grow calmer and your physical tension ease.

3. Don’t fight it. When your anxiety rises, your immediate reaction may be to try to fight against it or escape your feelings. But mindfulness offers an alternative approach. Instead of fighting against your anxiety, allow the feelings to wash over you, being curious about how they make you feel, where you experience anxiety in your body, what thoughts run through your mind. By being non-judgmental and staying in the present, you’ll often find that the anxiety will subside.

4. Use your senses to stay present in the moment. Anxiety often starts with uncertainty about the future, worries like “My child might have an accident on the way home,” or “My mind might go blank in this interview.” You can use your sensesto switch your focus to the certainty of the present moment and ease your stress. Look at a favorite photo, listen to calming music, smell a favorite scent, savor the taste of hot tea, or use your sense of touch to pet an animal or massage your neck or hands.

5. Meditate. Meditation can relax your mind and interrupt the cycle of worries and negative thoughts that can feel like they’re running through your head on endless repeat. Find a quiet spot where you can sit or lie down comfortably and try our Coping with Uncertainty Meditationto help you let go of all the “what ifs” running through your mind.

For more, read I Feel Anxious: Tips for Dealing with Anxiety (https://tinyurl.com/42mn2kk2)

Montgomery Regional Airport highlights seamless air travel service to Washington, D.C.

The Montgomery Regional Airport (MGM) recently relaunched its non-stop air service to Washington, D.C., in 2019, and since the strategic addition to the airport's offerings has aimed to provide passengers with enhanced convenience, flexibility, and accessibility for their travel needs.

The daily air service provides direct flights between MGM and Ronald Reagan National Airport (DCA), offering business and leisure travelers a seamless and time-efficient travel option. With the route, MGM continues demonstrating its commitment to serving the community by expanding its air travel options and connecting residents to key destinations.

Key Benefits of the DCA Air Service:

Convenience: Travelers can enjoy the ease of non-stop daily flights between Montgomery and Washington, D.C., eliminating the need for layovers and minimizing travel time.

Time Savings: The direct air service

reduces travel time, allowing passengers to maximize their time in the nation's capital for meetings, sightseeing, visiting friends and family, or even connecting to international destinations.

Accessibility: The route offers increased accessibility for Montgomery residents to access the political, cultural, and economic hub that Washington, D.C. represents.

Business Opportunities: The enhanced connectivity can foster new business relationships, facilitate commerce, and support economic growth in the Montgomery region.

"We are fortunate to have this air service to Washington, D.C., providing travelers with a more efficient and convenient way to reach their destination," said Brittney JonesDabney, Marketing and Communications Manager at Montgomery Regional Airport. "We believe this route will benefit our

local community and strengthen the ties between Montgomery and the nation's capital."

The DCA air service underscores MGM's dedication to meeting the evolving needs of travelers and bolstering the region's connectivity. This route aligns with the airport's ongoing efforts to enhance its facilities and services, providing a worldclass experience for passengers.

For travelers seeking a hassle-free journey to Washington, D.C., the air service from MGM presents an attractive solution. With the convenience of non-stop flights, individuals can look forward to a smoother travel experience and more time to explore all the capital city offers.

For booking information, flight schedules, and more details about the non-stop air service, please visit Montgomery Regional Airport's website at flymgm.com

Homemade Sloppy Joes

Great for Gameday!

Give canned sauce the boot and try these Homemade Sloppy Joes! A handful of simple ingredients in all you need to make this quick and easy supper!

Ingredients:

1 pound ground beef

1/2 small onion, finely chopped

1/2 small green bell pepper, finely chopped

1/4 teaspoon garlic powder

1 cup ketchup

2 tablespoons brown sugar

2 teaspoons yellow mustard

1 tablespoon apple cider vinegar

1 tablespoon soy sauce

hamburger buns

Instructions:

1. Brown the onions and green peppers with ground beef in a large skillet or dutch oven over medium heat until the meat is cooked through and vegetables are soft. Drain the meat and return to pan.

2. Over medium-low heat, add the garlic powder, ketchup, brown sugar, mustard, vinegar, and soy sauce and stir to combine. Reduce the heat to a simmer and cook for 5 to 10 minutes.

3. Serve on soft hamburger buns.

Source: https://southernbite.com/sloppy-joes/

Grandparent's Treat!

Gogue Center announces 2023–24 Family Series

Four-show series presents artistically diverse range of original children’s programming

The four-show series, generously sponsored by the City of Auburn, features a diverse assortment of original theatrical entertainment suitable for audiences of all ages. Shows in the upcoming series include “The Rainbow Fish” (Sunday, Oct. 22), “B – The Underwater Bubble Show” (Sunday, Oct. 29), “123 Andrés” (Sunday, March 24) and “Erth’s Dinosaur Zoo Live” (Sunday, April 7). All performances begin at 3 p.m. (Central) on their scheduled dates.

Presented annually by the Gogue Center, the Family Series offers children and parents and grandparents the opportunity to enjoy artistic, professional family programming in a state-of-the-art venue at an accessible price. This year, all Family Series performances will be presented indoors at the Woltosz Theatre as Sunday afternoon matinees. Seating is general admission and all tickets are priced at a family-friendly rate of $10. Tickets can be purchased online at goguecentertickets.auburn.edu or in-person at the Gogue Center box office, located at 910 South College Street in Auburn, Alabama, Tuesday through Friday, 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. For additional information on the 2023–24 Family Series and all other performances, patrons may contact the Gogue Center box office by telephone at 334.844.TIXS (8497) or via email at gpactickets@auburn.edu.

Gogue Center 2023–24 Family Series

“The Rainbow Fish”

Sunday, October 22, 2023 (3 p.m.)

Mermaid Theatre of Nova Scotia’s elegant new show, “The Rainbow Fish,” features an original stage adaptation of Marcus Pfister’s colorful story as well as two of the author’s companion tales, “Rainbow Fish Discovers the Deep Sea” and “Opposites” Incorporating innovative puppetry, striking scenic effects and evocative original music to provide very young audiences with an effortless introduction to the performing arts and the excitement of reading, “The Rainbow Fish” will enchant even the youngest child with his silver scales and heart of gold in this adaptation of the award-winning book about the beautiful fish who learned to share his most prized possession.

“B – The Underwater Bubble Show”

Sunday, October 29, 2023 (3 p.m.)

Inspired by childhood standards like “Alice in Wonderland” and “The Little Mermaid,” “B – The Underwater Bubble Show” follows Mr. B, a creature of modern habits who always feels pressed by a thousand things to do in a world that seems to be moving too fast. Mr. B discovers a magic aquarium inside his briefcase and gradually becomes enchanted by the wondrous underwater world of Bubblelandia, full of seahorses, dragon fish, starfish, mermaids and other creatures. Taking cues from Cirque du Soleil, the visually spectacular “Bubble Show” incorporates the latest in stage technology to produce a show without barriers that can speak to children in any language.

123 Andrés

Sunday, March 24, 2024 (3 p.m.)

Christina and Andrés are 123 Andrés, the Latin Grammy-winning, Grammy-nominated duo for children and families known for their interactive, high-energy shows. They craft fresh original songs that blend Spanish and English, with an eclectic mix of sounds from all corners of Latin America. This lively, interactive concert explores the continents, teaching about geography, culture and music along the way. The audience will be a key part in this rich adventure brought to the stage with colorful, exciting visuals. As native Spanish speakers, Christina and Andrés incorporate language seamlessly, empowering children to sing bilingually, as well as move and dance.

“Erth’s Dinosaur Zoo Live”

Sunday, April 7, 2024 (3 p.m.)

“Erth’s Dinosaur Zoo” Live guides audiences on a breathtaking tour that begins in prehistoric Australia, where they observe, meet, and interact with a collection of amazing lifelike dinosaurs and other creatures. This theatrical performance thrills and entertains children while stimulating their imaginations in ways that forever connect them to their world. Brought to life by a team of skilled puppeteers, “Dinosaur Zoo Live” is an extraordinarily real, eye-popping trip to the land before time.

Lee

Lee Greenwood is an ICON in country music, with more than 30 albums to his credit. With seven #1 songs & 25 charted singles his hits include: “It Turns Me Inside Out”, “Ring On Her Finger Time on Her Hands”, ”She’s Lyin”, “I don’t Mind the Thorns if You’re the Rose”, “Dixie Road”, “Somebody’s Gonna Love You”, “Going Going Gone”, “You Got A Good Love Comin”, “Fools Gold”, and “Mornin Ride”. Several cross over hits include, “Touch & Go Crazy”, “IOU” and the duet with Barbara Mandrell, “To Me”. An additional duet with Suzie Boggus, “Hopelessly Yours”, was nominated for a Grammy. The CD “American Patriot”, recorded & released in 1992, went Platinum in 3 months. Greenwood’s latest CD is: "I Want to be in Your World". He wrote three of the seven songs & plays saxophone on the original track, “Here Comes Love There Goes My Heart”. He also covered the Michael McDonald/Kenny Loggins ballad, “You Can Let Go Now.” McDonald is featured playing piano on the song. Visit www.mpaconline.org for tickets.

By Nick Thomas

Pictures from Maine

Having spent this summer on a working vacation in Bangor, Maine, Nick Thomas sends some photos from his journeys around the state.

Maine is well-known for lobsters, which are sold everywhere. I suppose this restaurant in Woolwich wanted to make darn sure anyone traveling by was aware of that.

The most photographed house in Bangor. The famous owner, author Stephen King, is no longer a resident. It’s now a writers’ retreat so I knocked on the door and said I was sort of a writer and could I look around. They must have read my stuff because I was told to promptly retreat.

Walking along the banks of Bangor’s Penobscot River, it was comforting to see artillery protecting the area. You never know when you may have to repel a mass of menacing masked marauding mariners from Massachusetts.

If you’re a fan of 60’s cartoons, this image needs no explanation. Moose was photographed wandering on the roadside near Rangeley, while squirrel visited our Bangor backyard.

In Kokadjo, we saw several

This sign at the local trading post also grabbed our attention. Let’s just say it was not entirely inaccurate.

Acadia National Park. Good soul that she is, my wife couldn’t stand the thought of Acadia’s famed Bubble Rock falling and crashing into a hundred pieces below. I, on the other hand…..

Strange as it may seem, in Freeport there’s actually a natural 40-acre desert in Maine. Even stranger, my behavior without Starbucks all morning.

On a road to Moosehead Lake, this local family was letting the world know they are both patriotic and clean.

Nick Thomas teaches at Auburn University at Montgomery in Alabama, and has written features, columns, and interviews for many newspapers and magazines. See www.getnickt.org

BOOM! starts conversations and shares stories. Share your business with BOOM! readers. For more information call/text 334.324.3472 or visit www.riverregionboom.com

moose.

By Vincent O'Keefe

Aging for Two

How a longtime husband copes with his changing appearance. Humor helps.

"Are you the father of the deceased?" This jarring question came from a woman I did not know at a relative's memorial service a couple years ago. The reason it was jarring? The deceased had died at age 59, and at that time I was 52. Plus, I was with my two daughters, ages 18 and 21, who couldn't resist a chuckle as I pointed to the 86-yearold father of the deceased and said: "No, that's him over there."

That was the first (and so far, the only) time I have been mistaken for an 86-yearold. But it was the latest incident in my complicated, triangular relationship with my chronological age (how old I am), my "subjective" age (how old I feel) and what I call my "apparent" age (how old I look).

I have always looked older than my age, which was a benefit back in high school when I grew a mustache and beard by tenth grade. As a teenage boy, looking older creates mystique and prompts awe-stricken fellow students to ask if you can buy them beer.

The flip side, however, was my early signs of balding. As a baseball teammate exclaimed one day, "Dude, you're going to have a widow's peak!" I didn't know what that meant, but it did not sound good.

By the end of high school (and the beginning of my hairline's retreat), I decided to embrace my "inner balding man" and go for laughs, in part because he's always visible on the outside anyway. My first performance of this approach occurred in my early 20s during my toast at my older brother Mark's wedding.

After informing the crowd that I was Mark's older brother, I mentioned that I used to be his younger brother. Then I recounted our recent trip to a bar where my four-years-older-than-me brother had to show his I.D. while I did not, which "proved" that my age had bypassed his age.

My 20s also featured meeting and eventually marrying my beautiful wife, Michele, who is two years younger than me and has always had a "baby face." We have been together for 34 years, and thanks to genetics, rigorous self-

care and regular moisturizing, she still looks much younger than her age (more on that soon).

The Hits Kept Coming

When I was 28 and took her to my 10-year high school reunion, I was embarrassed for her to hear a former classmate who was gobsmacked by my hairline state: "Vince, you look so ... old." All I could think to say was "thanks, it's nice to see you too!"

In my 30s, the hits kept coming. Michele and I now had two young daughters, and one day the five-year-old boy who lived next door was playing with our older daughter, Lauren. When the kids were on our backyard swings, the boy pointed at me and said: "Hey, maybe your grandpa can push us!" For a moment, I thought my father or father-in-law had shown up behind me.

This embarrassing incident was followed by six-year-old Lauren making me squirm at a salon. During one of her chatty haircuts, she was telling the stylist about the hairdos of her mother and sister. Then she pointed at me and announced to a crowd: "My dad doesn't need many haircuts because he only has half-hair!"

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In my early 40s, as I continued to age and Michele continued to moisturize,

Writer Vincent O'Keefe | Credit: Vincent O'Keefe

the inevitable happened: my wife was mistaken for one of my children. At a science center, our family of what I saw as obviously two adults and two children approached the ticket window. The woman glanced at us and said to me: "One adult and three kids?" Michele shot me a sympathetic smile but also got a laugh out of that one.

Our Aging Discrepancies

Laughter, indeed, has been a way for Michele and me to bond over our aging discrepancies. At one of our recent wedding anniversary dinners, I gave Michele a bonus present right before dinner. The gift? Admitting that after I dropped her off, parked the car, and entered the restaurant, the host said to me: "Let me show you to your daughter's table."

Now in my 50s, I have learned to accept the things I cannot change about my appearance. There were times when I considered Rogaine or a hairpiece, but those didn't feel right for me. Better coping mechanisms have been humor and an appreciation of my health, which

continues to be good thanks in part to regular exercise.

Another coping strategy has been to reframe my aging conundrum into sunnier terms. Rather than lament that I'm in my 50s but appear to be in my 80s, I take pride in how spry I must look to strangers whenever I do yardwork, lift something heavy, or just move quickly. I imagine their low expectations leading to thoughts like "that 80-year-old moves like a 50-year-old!"

People sometimes describe pregnant women as "eating for two," though my baby-faced wife never liked that phrase during her pregnancies years ago. But it seems that during our long relationship I have been taking the burden of aging off her plate, so to speak, by "aging for two." Granted, there are far more cultural pressures placed on women than on men when it comes to aging gracefully. And the unfair social penalties for women in their 50s who may look older than their chronological age are nothing to laugh about.

Still, my wife and I continue to enjoy the absurdities of (mostly my) aging. At a recent wake, a relative who had not seen me in many years actually asked Michele out of my earshot: "Where is your husband?" When Michele pointed at me, the woman asked as if seeing a ghost: "That's Vince?!" Clearly, I had become unrecognizable — you might even say "deceased" — to the woman.

At least I wasn't mistaken for the ghost's father.

Vincent O'Keefe is a writer and former stay-athome father with a Ph.D. in American literature. His writing has appeared at The New York Times, The Washington Post, Time, Parents, Insider, and City Dads, among other venues. Visit him at VincentOKeefe.com

Source: www.nextavenue.org

By Louise Tutelian

How My Twin Sister and I Turned 70 With Grace(land)

A pilgrimage to the mansion of our once-favorite Elvis Presley was really a journey back to each other

Elvis Presley is having a moment.

The recent biopic about him won awards and critical acclaim. The streaming series "Daisy Jones & The Six," starring his granddaughter Riley Keough (recently featured on the cover of Vanity Fair), showcased her authentic rock 'n' roll voice. Two generations of Presley women just made the news by settling their battle over the family estate. I watched and read it all, and so did my twin sister, Mary Jean.

MJ and I were eight when we saw our first Elvis film, "Blue Hawaii." The summer we were 10, we saw "Viva Las Vegas" at least six times. At 15, we were glued to Elvis's '68 Comeback Special. Maybe it was the black leather fringed jumpsuit and his snarling rendition of "Trouble."

I shouldn't have been surprised when she called. "I know what we should do for our birthday." Beat. "Go to Graceland!" An image of the famed white mansion with Tara-like pillars instantly came to mind. I'd just read about its Jungle Room, the ultimate athome tiki bar, where parties went on all night.

I knew the estate had been left decorated exactly as it was in 1977, the year Elvis died, the year MJ and I got our first jobs. The mansion still had an avocado green dishwasher (like ours was) and a luxury built-in microwave (the same as we had). There was a 15-footlong white couch in the living room and a display of Elvis's police badge collection (he loved cops). Hell, yes. I was in.

MJ and I had gotten together regularly over the years, at the Jersey Shore, on a trip to Florida, for graduations, weddings and funerals. We had attended the same college, but after that, our lives unspooled very differently. She lived in the Midwest while I stayed mainly in the Northeast.

a whole herd of elephants entered the conversational room we inhabited. MJ's default setting was upbeat chatter to cover her sadness and mine was upbeat chatter to cover guilt about my easier life.

We rarely shared deep emotions, or yelled or cried with each other. We sometime struggled to keep a conversation going, taking cover in lowstakes topics such as how hard it was to find clothes, or how late to let the kids stay out.

Separated by More Than Geography

But as our families grew, geography alone wasn't what separated us. MJ endured far more than her fair share of pain, far more than I. She survived breast cancer at 40. Three years later, her husband died of brain cancer, leaving her with two pre-teen sons and a need to immediately re-enter the work force. She hired childcare for the boys and took the best job she could find as an attorney. It happened to be in Detroit, three hours away.

Often, she would call me on those twicea-week commutes. The last thing she wanted was to talk about how hard her life was. In this way, years went by, as

Our younger selves could convey a whole conversation with one side glance or eye roll. But now, our easy-going mother tongue had disappeared. The ground had shifted. I was worried we had irretrievably grown apart. Our 70th birthday was, thanks to MJ, a literal wake-up call. I was hungering for closeness but it was she who suggested the trip. Did she feel the need too?

We would have just about 36 hours in Memphis, and that was a time frame I was good at navigating.

I had written several "36 Hours" travel columns for the New York Times and boy, I could put together terrific itineraries and hidden spots. But when it came to spending 36 hours alone with my twin, I wondered if I would be as adept. I was about to find out.

Elvis standing outside of the Graceland mansion in the 1950s Credit: Courtesy of Graceland.com

MJ, left, and Louise at Sun Studio in Memphis

Credit: Courtesy of Louise Tutelian

Graceland Did Not Disappoint

We boarded the tour bus to Graceland with iPads around our necks and headphones on our ears, giggling like those eight-year-olds watching "Blue Hawaii." The mansion did not disappoint. Acres of green shag carpet. Four white baby grands. A gigantic Trophy Room chock-a-block with wall-to-wall gold and platinum records. We elbowed each other and pointed at vintage PR stills as we meandered among the throngs of others marveling at a rhinestonestudded jumpsuit.

In the Elvis Automobile Museum, we sat side by side, laughing in a makeshift convertible as MJ "floored it" in front of a giant video of Elvis on a motorcycle careening toward us.

In the Graceland gift "shop" the size of a football field, we perused Graceland snow globes, Elvis bobble head dolls and "(Hunka Hunka) Burnin' Love" T-shirts. As we spent an entire day surrounded by nostalgic Elvis memorabilia, the once-familiar rhythm of being together

began to seep in. We had found a place to connect in the kitschy, commercial, heartbreaking beauty of Elvis. But could we talk about the things that mattered? Over dinner, we ordered a bottle of pinot grigio. The restaurant was quiet, the lighting subdued. We had a banquette and an unobtrusive waiter. Ambience was on our side. We started with the easy stuff: Memphis barbecue, how good the Sun Studio tour had been. By the time we killed the bottle, I was offering an apology for the reams of unasked for advice I assumed she needed in her darkest days. She was thanking me for stepping up to help our parents through the end of their lives when she was juggling so much.

We Kept Talking

We kept talking, with phones turned off, no pets to feed, no chores to do. I ordered a blackberry margarita; MJ an Aperol spritz. I couldn't recall the last time we had faced each other over a cocktail, alone, just the two of us. By the end of the night, I knew about an early, abandoned romance. She knew about

my years of infertility and the bouts of serious depression they engendered. The elephants, at least some of them, had left the building.

It was a start, and a strong one. I know there is much more to mine about our pasts and more to share about our hopes for the future. We just need more practice, more time — and more trips. Natchez, Nashville and Williamsburg, Virginia are already on the list.

Here's what I know: the statute of limitations has run out on judgment, resentment, anger, guilt. What remains: Newly-recovered ease and gratitude in being together and a mutual pledge not to take it for granted.

You could call it grace.

Louise Tutelian has been a journalist in New York and Los Angeles. Her work appeared in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, USA Today, CBS MoneyWatch, and many other outlets.

Source: www.nextavenue.org

By Candy Schulman

What Did I Come In Here For?

And what's your name again? Don't forget that word-finding is a normal part of the aging process.

What did I come in here for? I ask myself after ambling from my kitchen past my daughter's old bedroom. I don't live in a sprawling house but rather a never-largeenough city apartment. Sometimes I forget my mission even on shorter distances: from desk chair to printer or switching onto Safari to search the internet. What did I need again?

Perhaps it's an unconscious strategy to get my 10,000 steps daily. I achieve half my fitness goal by merely marching up and down a path towards the … closet? nightstand? bathroom? Or … ?

Momentarily, my brain can't conjure up the phrase "linen closet."

"It's the nouns," claims my friend, a longtime college professor.

If only I could speed up recall, the way my computer tech accelerates my sluggish Mac. Words arrive in an aha moment, albeit 24 hours later. I'll be on a walk with my husband and interrupt what he's saying to burst out a non-sequitur: "Omni-channel! It's a combination of traditional retailing and e-commerce!"

"What?" He gazes at me as if I've lost my mind. I have the same fears.

Normal Part of Aging

Our thinking abilities appear to peak around age 30 and then subtly decline with age, according to UCSF Weill Institute for Neurosciences. Difficulty with multi-tasking and word-finding are considered a normal part of the aging process. Allegedly it's nothing to worry about — unless you forget your memories and entire history of a person, a warning sign of dementia.

At least I haven't yet forgotten my daughter's name, which I spent a trimester selecting. My mother often called me Pepe, also the name of our Poodle. He was her favorite child, something she never forgot.

Mom once put my father's evening newspaper in the oven, and the roast beef on the kitchen table. Our dog had a great time with his tartare dinner, and Dad couldn't read the closing stock market listings.

Experts agree that as we age, everyone starts having difficulty with word recall. Whenever I meet a neighbor I haven't

seen for awhile, I always greet them with, "Hi, I'm Candy," watching their relieved expression for not having to admit embarrassment for forgetting mine.

When my husband's around, we confer together on retrieving what either of us can't. It takes a marriage, or a village, to say "Bingo! I knew it all along!"

Recently, after my thrice-weekly 45-minute swim, I started changing in the locker room. "Where's my towel? Did someone take it?" I said aloud to no one in particular. Buck naked, I wandered around barefoot, a dripping-wet lost soul.

"It's on your head," someone informed me skeptically. Flustered, I ran out of the gym quickly, making sure all my clothes were on first.

The Doorway Effect

Nonetheless, I remain a fixed believer in the proven theory that regular exercise boosts memory and thinking skills. The Cleveland Clinic advocates exercise as a way to stay mentally fit in "Memory Loss in Women — Is It Age or Menopause?"

Clocking up my daily indoor steps, it still takes several tries before I realize I'm on a quest for a pair of earrings to match my outfit or a receipt for an item I need to return.

All my aimless strolling in search for … what was it again? doesn't seem to help. Neither does worrying. Is this dementia? is on speed dial in my head when I'm

Experts agree that as we age, everyone starts having difficulty with word recall. | Credit: Getty

standing in my closet, losing sight of my mission, distracted by my messy wardrobe; one of these days, I'm going to straighten it up.

This is called "The Doorway Effect," writes psychologist Tom Stafford on BBC, "Why Does Walking Through Doorways Make us Forget?" It occurs "when we change both the physical and mental environments, moving to a different room and thinking about different things. That hastily thought up goal, which was probably only one plate among the many we're trying to spin, gets forgotten when the context changes."

Perhaps removing all the doors from their hinges will help my memory. Or I could incorporate The Cleveland Clinic's "exciting brain-boosting ideas": puzzles, chess, reading novels, playing board games, journaling, meditating, learning a foreign language or ballroom dancing. My husband reluctantly waltzed at our wedding. Once when our daughter watched him attempt to dance with

me at a party, she cautioned him never to make such a public display of embarrassment again.

'If

It's Important, You'll Remember It'

These days, every time I draw a blank, I recall, as a young child, telling my mother, "Gee…I forgot what I was going to say." She'd respond, "If it's important, you'll remember it."

Guess my earrings aren't important, even though Vogue claims they are. I go out to dinner with bare lobes. Before dessert, I fret that I've lost my favorite danglers somewhere, when actually they're safe at home, lonely in my messy closet.

"Engage and challenge both sides of your brain," writes Cleveland Clinic's Holly L. Thacker, MD. "Midlife can be the start of your best years yet — and you do have the ability to make sure that happens for your body and your mind."

I buy my tenth crossword puzzle book, a challenging one, convinced it will

stimulate dormant brain cells. My goal is to complete one puzzle a day…as soon as I can find wherever I've stashed it. Probably next to those earrings I couldn't locate.

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Candy Schulman’s award-winning essays have appeared in The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Chicago Tribune, Salon and elsewhere, including anthologies. She is working on a memoir about mothers and daughters. Source: www.nextavenue.org

By Andrea Wickstrom

I Finally Taught Myself To Use a Sewing Machine

YouTube tutorials and time during the pandemic helped me achieve a longtime goal, despite some zig-zags along the way

It was the early 90s, and I was in my late teens. Before bed, I left my mom a note on the counter that said, "Can you sew this button on?" I left the button on top of the note, then placed it next to a sans-button shirt.

The following morning, I walked by, and there it was. The button was sewn onto the note.

Touché.

According to my parents, I was interested in learning to sew at a young age. Knowing it was a good life skill, my dad encouraged my mom to teach me the basics of using a needle and thread.

Homemaker Wannabe

I loved being at home. Helping my mom with my younger sisters came naturally. By eleven years old, I did laundry, regularly rearranged the living room furniture, and waxed the linoleum kitchen floor (without washing it first). And I "breastfed" my Cabbage Patch Kid. My ultimate dream when I grew up was to be a full-time homemaking momma who had a lot of babies and went to Target.

My mom and aunt stayed home and were sewers, so it doesn't surprise me that I included learning to sew on my

to-do list. Often, a sewing machine sat on our dining room table with a mending pile next to it. Other times, it had large fabric pieces covering it, and I watched my mom attach thin, crinkly brown pattern paper to the fabric with multicolor-headed pins from a magnetic holder.

She hunched over and squinted her eyes to get the tip of the thread through the tiny eye of the needle. That's when I also learned the word "bobbin." I wonder if my mom struggled with it because it's what stuck with me through the years. Using a sewing machine would be challenging; therefore, I hesitated to tackle it.

I often shopped at craft stores and stopped by the fabric section to browse. No texture went untouched. I dreamed

of owning a sewing table, a machine and a fully stocked and well-organized supply caddy. If only I knew how to sew.

Yes, I could haphazardly reattach buttons or fix a torn seam with a needle and thread. However, I still asked my mom to alter my clothing or household items. I was well over 40 years old and was still asking my mom to do my mending for me. It was time to start adulting.

Pandemic Pastime

The COVID-19 pandemic hit, and I had to fill my time at home, so the moment was right. My daughter had expressed interest in sewing, and I wanted to support her desire to do something besides spending time on screens. Her other grandma, also an excellent seamstress, caught wind of this. Soon, my kitchen table had a new Singer sewing machine sitting on it. It was daunting and thrilling at the same time.

Singer's YouTube channel has multiple how-to videos featuring topics like unboxing, parts, settings and functions. My specific model, a basic Singer Tradition 2277, had 25 dedicated video tutorials. I intently watched every video 2-3 times before touching anything. The

"Often, a sewing machine sat on our dining room table with a mending pile next to it." Credit: Photo by Annie Spratt

thought of threading the machine was dreadful.

Finally, I took the plunge with my laptop on the table next to me. I pushed the "pause" and "play" buttons multiple times. Sometimes, I started the whole video over to ensure I did everything correctly up to that point. Wholly committed, I readily confess I made it way harder than it should have been. That's just how I roll.

I am so grateful to the numerous sewing experts who started their own YouTube channels. Many of their tutorial videos include a description field with written materials lists, fabric dimensions and links.

I also searched Pinterest for ideas and tips. There was a lot of helpful information, and many people on that platform cross-posted videos to their YouTube channels. I found Facebook groups for sewing beginners that added a personal and relatable way to learn.

A Beginner's Projects

I started with a simple envelope-style pillowcase. I must have had compatible fabric, thread and the correct needle size and chose the proper settings because it went surprisingly smoothly. It may have been the simple straight lines working in my favor.

This first project boosted my confidence, so I tackled doll dresses next. They were small, and what kiddo could see or care about stitching catastrophes? I found a dress pattern for the popular 18-inch or "American Girl" dolls. The pattern came with mix-and-match choices for the top to attach to a basic bottom. I took the liberty of deviating from the pattern to make additional styles. At completion, I had sewn four different dresses and matching hair scrunchies. I was soaring!

Every December, my mom, sisters, sister-in-law and I get together for our annual "Girls' Hallmark Day." We eat, watch Hallmark movies all day and laugh. Chicken wild rice soup was on the menu that year, so I made bowl cozies for all of us to use.

During this process, I learned I couldn't take shortcuts with measuring. I got past my dislike for sewing something inside out, then turning it inside right through a

to apply oil and couldn't get it back together. But I kept going.

Many positives came out of the experience. I've never been a good problem solver. My husband couldn't help with this one. I wanted to keep trying until I figured it out myself. Until I found the issue and addressed it correctly, I couldn't proceed – and I desperately wanted to proceed.

The Final Stitch

Learning to use a sewing machine was, and still is, a better investment of my time and brain power than bingewatching Netflix or scrolling on social media. I find tremendous satisfaction in creating something valuable that requires a mastered skill.

tiny hole without falling apart. It was also valuable for me to learn that the fabric, thread and batting must all be 100% cotton to go into the microwave.

I gave a bowl cozy to a coworker. She liked it so much that she wanted me to make eight for her to give to her family as Christmas gifts. The stress of being paid to make equal sides with straight stitches forced me to apply what I learned in the bowl cozy YouTube tutorials. I couldn't wing it.

Thoughts of Quitting

Despite my small successes and great excitement about creating these projects, there was also much frustration and thoughts of quitting. I found myself muttering at the needles stuck again in fabric that was too thick for my chosen needle size and the hard stops that caused the needle tips to break off. I silently cursed the thread that kept balling up. Tears welled when I disassembled the bobbin mechanism

Repairing salvageable items is a cost-effective option instead of buying replacements. Sewing is also an excellent choice for those who crave a creative outlet. The skills attained, and the confidence gained, have lasting gratification.

It's never too late to learn how to use a sewing machine. Numerous video tutorials are available online, making setup and techniques easier to conquer. A sewing machine is a worthy investment but it doesn't have to be brand new. Online websites and sewing groups often have used starter models for sale at reduced prices.

A note about my opening story. It turns out that my dad had learned to sew in the army. He was the one who took my note literally and sewed the button onto the paper instead of the shirt. He told my mom I needed to be able to do the small things myself. Otherwise, I would never learn.

Source www.nextavenue.org

Andrea Wickstrom, BSN, PHN, RN, has been a nurse for 25 years. Most of her experience is in cardiology at the bedside, stress testing, and with cardiac medical devices. Health literacy is also a passion of hers. Now, she combines her nursing knowledge with her love for writing to reach and educate readers.

The author made bowl cozies for her family members at holiday time.

Credit: Andrea Wickstrom

THE RIGHT TIME FOR PLANTING

I used to spend the summers with my grandmother in Goodwater, Alabama, a small rural community in Coosa County. Everyone in the community raised flowers and had a garden. My grandmother loved planting flowers and gardening in her beautiful large landscaped yard. At one time she had an extensive garden (including a “grape vineyard”) where she raised produce for the family store. She had multiple types of fruit trees in her yard. Any type of fruit tree she did not have someone in the community did have. We spent the long summer days canning fruit and vegetables and making jelly. Except for the dead of winter, her yard always had something blooming. Most of the time she would raise her own bedding plants in her greenhouse. But as she aged, she slowly cut back on her gardening and started going to the community plant nursery, Jacobs Flowers, for flowering bedding plants to fill the bare spaces in her flower beds. The first time I went with her to the nursery she told me she would buy me a bedding flowering plant that I could plant. I had never been to a plant nursery and was amazed at all the rows of both flowering and nonflowering plants displayed outside and inside large white buildings with large side and roof windows. One building was smaller and cooler than the rest. In this building, I found the flower I wanted to plant, a purple-blue flower that looked like it had a smiling face. It was a pansy. My grandmother discouraged me from buying this flower to plant because she said it would not do well outside because it was not the right time to plant it. She told me that it was too hot and that no matter how much I watered it, it would not survive the summer heat. But I insisted; we bought the plant and despite my best efforts my pansy only survived two weeks.

Pansies are a large-flowered hybrid plant

cultured as a garden flower. It is derived by hybridization from several species of the genus Viola. This genus Viola includes also violets and Johnny Jumpups.

PANSIES

Pansies are large-flowered plants with typical facial markings and have four petal parts up and one down. Pansies were first produced by hybridized crossbreeding in 1812 by Lady Mary Elizabeth Bennet but the name pansy has been around since the Middle Ages: the name pansy probably derived from the French word pensée (thought) and was used in Shakespeare’s play “Hamlet” when Ophelia distributes flowers with the remark, “There’s pansies, and that’s for thoughts”.

VIOLETS

Violets (not Africain Violets) are a close relative of pansies, a smaller flower than the pansies with two petals pointing up and three petals pointing down. Violets are both perrenial and annual bedding plants.

JOHNNY JUMP UPS

Johnny Jump Ups, (Viola tricolor) are native wildflowers of Europe and western Asia known as heartsease and are also mentioned in Shakespeare’s play, “A Midsummers

Night Dream” when the “juice of heartsease” is used as a love potion when laid on sleeping eyelids. All types of flowers of the genus Viola are flowers that are perennials (can self-seed) but generally are treated as annuals because of their leggy growth. The first-year plant produces greenery, and bears flowers and seeds in its second year of growth, then dies like an annual. Stem rot, also known as pansy sickness is a soil-born fungus that may cause the plant to collapse without warning in the middle of the growing season. Plants are also susceptible to cucumber mosaic virus transmitted by aphids, causing a fine yellow veining on young leaves and stunted and anomalous flowers.

Genus Viola flowers bloom best in cooler weather. In mild winter areas with short freezes (winter hardy zones 9-11) can enjoy winter pansies and can be enjoyed for a short season in the spring, planting as soon as the ground can be worked. Plant Genus Viola plants in sunny or partially sunny positions in well-draining soil. Space plants 6 to 8 inches apart and water thoroughly about once per week being careful not to over-water. To maximize blooming, plant foods should be used about every other week depending on the type of food used. Regular deadheading can extend the blooming period, and if plants become lank and leggy, shear back halfway to force new growth and bloom. These plants are not very heat-tolerant; warm temperatures inhibit blooming and hot muggy air causes rot and death.

Thus, as my grandmother was trying to tell me, DO NOT plant pansies in the summer in Alabama.

Ann Coker, an intern in the 2023 Master Gardener Class, lives in Montgomery. For more information on becoming a master gardener, visit www. capcitymag.org or email capcitymag@gmail.com

2023 Fall Term Begins at AUM OLLI

The 2023 Fall Term at AUM OLLI begins September 18 and ends November 10, 2023. Classes meet once a week (on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday) for an hour and a half for eight weeks (one exception: the Introduction to Tai Chi class meets twice a week, on Tuesdays and Thursdays). All of the classes except two meet in classrooms at the Center for Lifelong Learning (75 TechnaCenter Drive). The two exceptions are Art on View, which meets at the Montgomery Museum of Fine Arts (Wednesdays at 2:30 p.m. – a change from its usual 10:00 a.m. meeting time), and Pickleball, which meets at the AUM Wellness Center, on the AUM campus (Thursdays at 12:45 p.m.). The AUM OLLI catalog is available online (www.aum. edu/OLLI) with a complete list of courses and descriptions of the courses, Bonus Opportunities, Lunch Presentations and Field Trips.

The 2023 schedule includes a wide

variety of courses, Bonus Opportunities, Lunch Presentations, and Field Trips. Courses cover a variety of types – study/ lecture, hands-on (DIY), and active. Challenge yourself, and try at least one of every type! The Bonus Opportunities include book discussion groups and a potluck lunch. The fall Field Trips offer everything from the Auburn University Raptor Center to the Alabama Governor’s Mansion with its Christmas decorations. Lunch Presentations include a variety of speakers.

The Fall Term brings the return of some courses from the past. Before the shut-down for the pandemic, AUM OLLI offered a series of gardening courses, and that course is back with a focus on the “backyard garden.” With the growing popularity of pickleball, AUM OLLI has arranged to offer that class as well, at the AUM Wellness Center, as noted above. New courses include two computer courses (an introduction to Microsoft

Word and Electronic Fraud Prevention and Protection) as well an introduction to the basics of football.

AUM OLLI is an excellent opportunity for people to challenge their minds and their bodies and to learn new skills (jewelry making, holiday ornament crafts, Zentangle, Mah Jongg, gardening, and others). It is also a great place to make new friends and create new communities.

There is still time to join AUM OLLI and enroll in one or more of these courses. Go to www.aum.edu/OLLI for the catalog and a place to register.

Travel Experiences with Jeff Barganier

Photography by Jeff Barganier and Beth Cowan Drake

Grand Oaks Farm

When the daily grind gets monotonous and the senses demand fresh sights, sounds and scents, I’ve discovered the perfect day trip tucked away in the scenic mountains of North Alabama near Ft. Payne beneath the Milky Way.

Grand Oaks Farm is the inspiration of Norman and Kate Groff whom the Lord told, “Move to the top of a mountain.” When Kate was struggling with medical issues, research led her to a mixture of black and green teas as well as lavender. The combination of these natural ingredients helped heal her and planted in her heart the idea of a business that might help others by creating various products derived from lavender. So, the Groff’s started a lavender farm for the plant’s health benefits. Apart from stunning natural beauty, what makes Grand Oaks enchanting is how adept the Groff’s are at Southern hospitality and sharing the simple pleasures of life.

We’re enjoying learning about the farm beneath a shady oak while sipping lavender infused lemonade, garnished with a slice of lemon and sprig of lavender. Katydids sing in the August heat which on the mountain is less severe than in the flat lands. A steady breeze soothes us as Cindy pets some newly minted magpie ducklings. (They lay blue eggs.) It’s the only farm where I’ve learned that a male duck’s

tail turns up and its “quack” is squeaky, while a female duck’s tail is straight and its “quack” is just a regular old “quack.”

“We’ve had a busy day,” Kate says. “We’re trying to get the distillery going and there’s

a process using a copper distiller. We’ve never used a copper distiller before [for distilling lavender] but we just bought one.” I ask her about the property’s history. She points at their stately home. "That house was built between 1890 and 1910, and was the first parsonage in Ft. Payne. In the early 1970’s, they were going to destroy it to put a parking lot in for the courthouse. A family heard this house was going to be destroyed and they moved it up the mountain. They lovingly kept all the original architecture in the cellar. They were the only owners, and she was a remarkable woman. I know her just from the people who have knocked on the door since we moved here looking for Ma Bell. I have to tell them she died, and we are the second owners. Then they cry. And they tell me Ma Bell raised them. I think she raised half the mountain. She was a Sunday school teacher here in a little mountain church, and she did Sunday every day in this house for children who just showed up here. And she raised them. Nobody was ever turned away from this house. What a blessing. It gives me cold chills. So, when I prayed for the third person who knocked on my door, because they told me they were coming back to ask for prayer, because they didn’t have family left, they were older; and they had just found out they had gotten cancer or heart disease or were having some type of emergency

Milky Way-Lavender Field-Grand Oaks Farm, Photography by Beth Cowan Drake

Moments at Grand Oaks Farm, Photography by Beth Cowan Drake

surgery, that’s when I realized this is a special place. These people are coming back here looking for her, and I’m praying with complete strangers. So, this became more than just the lavender farm at that point. All of a sudden, I started realizing people are coming here, just showing up. Like, the gate is open, and all of a sudden someone is sitting in my lavender field, drawn to the property. And I’m not ever going to turn anyone away. (The Groff’s have even been visited by royalty.) So, we put up a little private sign on that side of the fence. This is private. That part, we leave the gate open. We allow people to come. If they want to buy a bundle [of lavender] it’s fifteen dollars. Right now, it’s what we use for oil. The photographers love the lavender at any stage because they can adjust and make the colors anything they want. The great thing about lavender is that it never dies. It just turns a different shade of purple—a lighter purple. The peak is when it turns a kind of blue purple— what florists prefer. So, we harvest it and have a drying barn that we built.”

The Groff’s moved to North Alabama from Northern Virginia for a better quality of life, and to raise their two of six children still at home in a more wholesome environment.

“We were praying about it and God spoke to us almost at the same time. After praying, we blurted it out, saying to each other, ‘Wow! We are supposed to move to a mountain!’” The Groff’s thought they would find their mountain in Georgia and made an offer on a place. But the deal fell through when an inspection for mold failed. This 24-acres and historic home appeared on a Georgia mountain property search but turned out to be in Alabama. Its white fence reminded Kate of her childhood home. She was sold.

And on their mountain, they’re raising young daughters Cissy and Gracie. Cissy is an aspiring writer who wants to someday publish a magazine of her own to be called Southern and Beyond, a name Cindy helped her come up with. Gracie is a talented dog trainer. The girls, who love being close to nature and its colorful creatures like red-headed lizards, are learning critical life skills as they help on the farm. Norman’s a retired U.S. Air Force veteran and master woodworker who grew up in Lancaster, Pennsylvania Amish country. He inherited a whole barn load of tools from his dad,

and is in constant motion.

The Groff’s are planning a “chapel without walls” for weddings in the lavender field and, eventually, cabins where people may stay and experience the sights, the sounds, and the healing scent of lavender amidst God’s creation. I can’t wait. In today’s frenzied, turbulent world, what an oasis that will be! By the way, after a few minutes of inhaling the lavender steam from the distillery, Cindy and I drove to our lodging at The Mentone Inn and enjoyed one of the most restful naps we’ve ever had!

It's a working farm and a work in progress so visits are by appointment only. For product information or to arrange for a visit, see their website at www.grandoaksfamilyfarm.com.

Beth Cowan Drake (BethCowanDrake.com) is a photographer, writer, and founder of Alabama The Beautiful, a Facebook group with over 260K members showcasing the beauty of Alabama (Facebook.com/groups/ AlabamaTheBeautiful). She is also the publisher and editor of Alabama The Beautiful Magazine (AlabamaTheBeautifulMagazine.com).

Jeff S. Barganier is a novelist, travel writer and manager of Cindy Barganier Interiors LLC. He travels far and wide upon the slightest excuse for something interesting to write about. Contact: Jeffbarganier@knology.net Instagram: @jeffbarganier . You may print out Jeff’s features at www.jeffbarganier.com

The Open Gate

The Grand Oaks Historic Home Norman Preparing Distillery

Photographers ❤ Grand Oaks Farm

Photography by Beth Cowan Drake

This & tHAT i

Alys Stephens Center, Presents The O'Jays , Sunday, December 3 at 6pm

Ho Ho Ho, Cotton State Santas

The Farmer's Market Cafe was site of a jolly gathering as over 70 Santas and Mrs. Clauses visited Montgomery for the bi-monthly meeting of "Cotton States Santas", an Alabama chapter of IBRBS - The International Brotherhood of Real Bearded Santas. Montgomery's River Region Santa along with a team of local Santa performers welcomed the guests with an excellent meal and program featuring "Santa Slate", a Montgomery-based African-American Santa who shared his story. This was the first time the group chose Montgomery as a meeting place and as CSS President Steve Rusk of Gardendale mentioned "The Capital City is a great location! She opened up and treated us well." The visitors left with gift bags consisting of a Montgomery guide book, a sample of ALAGA hot sauce, and anticipation of another excellent visit next year. Cotton States Santas are a group of over 200 professional Christmas Entertainers who meet regularly for fellowship and education. Meetings are held in different locations across the state. The next meeting will be in May at Guntersville.

America's Band, The Beach Boys @ MPAC May 17

After more than 60 years electrifying people all over the world, the mighty, legendary, R&B/Soul kings The O’Jays are set to embark on their final tour! Featuring original members Eddie Levert Sr and Walter Williams Sr, who have been singing together since they were kids! The O’Jays are touring history, a connection to an era and a sound that formed the soundtrack for the lives of several generations. In 1972, Gamble & Huff, a team of producers and songwriters with whom the O’Jays had been working for several years, signed the group to their Philadelphia International label. With this magic formula, often called The Sound of Philadelphia, The O’Jays scored their first number 1 and million-selling song, “Backstabbers:, followed by more chart-topping pop and R&B singles including “Love Train,” “Put Your Hands Together,” “For The Love of Money,” “I Love Music,” “Darlin’ Darlin’ Baby (Sweet, Tender, Love),” “Livin’ For The Weekend” and “Use Ta Be My Girl.” This success propelled The O’Jays to be the first black vocal group to perform in arenas throughout America during the 70s and 80s. Eddie Levert Sr, Walter Williams Sr, and Eric Nolan Grant, who joined the group in 1995, continue to thrill fans today. Throughout their career The O’Jays have achieved 10 Gold albums, 9 Platinum albums and 10 #1 hits. It’s been a long journey but thanks to the fans the LOVE TRAIN is still going strong! The O’Jays were inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in 2005. They were inducted into the Vocal Group Hall of Fame in 2005 and honored with BET’s LifeTime Achievement Award in 2009. In 2013, they were inducted into The Official R&B Music Hall of Fame. For more visit www.alysstephens.org

Capitol Sounds Band and Montgomery Recreators in Concert Sunday, September 10

The Capitol Sounds Concert Band and Montgomery Recreators will present a Fall concert on SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 10, 2:30 PM at Crump Community Center, 1751 Cong. W.L. Dickinson Drive, Montgomery, AL 36109. The Capitol Sounds will include concert band selections and the Montgomery Recreators will perform jazz and big band favorites. The Capitol Sounds Concert Band is under the direction of John Jackson, who is beginning his 21st season as conductor. The Montgomery Recreators is under the direction of Ted Mann. There’ll be something musical for everyone! Admission is free. In addition, you can also visit www.capitolsounds.org for more information.

As The Beach Boys mark more than a half century of making music, the group continues to ride the crest of a wave unequalled in America’s musical history. The Beach Boys –who have become synonymous with the California lifestyle and an American icon, are bringing their shows to fans around the world. Since the band’s co-founder, lead-singer and chief lyricist Mike Love penned the lyrics to The Beach Boys’ first hit, “Surfin’” (1961), dozens of the bands chart toppers have become eternal anthems of American youth: “Surfin’ USA,” “Surfer Girl,” “Fun, Fun, Fun,” “I Get Around,” “California Girls,” “Help Me Rhonda,” “Barbara Ann,” “Good Vibrations,” “Wouldn’t It Be Nice,” “Rock and Roll Music” and “Kokomo.” The Beach Boys have sold over 100 million records worldwide and have received more than 33 RIAA Platinum and Gold record awards. The Rock And Roll Hall of Famers where also honored at the 2001 Grammy Awards with the Lifetime Achievement Award. With more than five decades of touring under their belts, The Beach Boys have performed more concerts than any major rock band in history. Montgomery performance at MPAC, Wednesday, May 17. For tickets visit www.mpaconline.org

Anita Baker’s 2023 tour celebrates her 40 years as a music icon in the industry since the release of her debut album, The Songstress, was released in 1983. These dates mark the first time she has been on a full tour since 1995 and it is also the first time The Songstress will be performing her classic hits live since winning back the rights to her masters. Baker, born in Toledo, OH, and raised in Detroit, MI, is one of the most popular singers of soulful ballads during the height of the quiet storm period in the 1980s. Starting her career in the late 1970s with the funk band Chapter 8, Baker released her first solo album, The Songstress, in 1983. In 1986, she rose to stardom following the release of her Platinum-selling second album, Rapture, which included the Grammy-winning single “Sweet Love.” Baker has won eight Grammy Awards and has four Platinum albums, along with two Gold albums. Baker is a contralto, with a vocal range that extends her register to at least three octaves. For more info visit www.bjcc.org

Free Digital Subscriptions at www.RiverRegionBoom.com

Anita Baker at the BJCC, October 28th

An Evening of Music and Stories with The Vikings

Live music and stories with the Vikings: an evening with Nils Maeetoft, Karren Pell, and friends. Thursday, September 28 at 5:30pm. Led by Danish artist Nils Maaetoft and friend and cowriter Karren Pell, along with fellow artists Tim Henderson, Larry Gobrecht, Tony Castaldo, and Danish multiinstrumentalist Michael Lund. Their program titled “Songs and Stories” will feature such Maaetoft favorites as “Love Is Still a Mystery” and “Wetumpka by Dinnertime” and — if the Muses are generous — some new tunes as well. The evening promises to be great fun. The NewSouth Bookstore

105 S. Court Street Montgomery, AL 36104

www.newsouthbookstore.com

This & tHAT i

Opelika Songwriters Festival - October 5-8

Opelika, AL – October 5 – 8, 2023. Opelika Songwriters Festival attracts die-hard music lovers from around the Southeast. 30+ songwriters will travel from across the country to play over 80 shows in 7 venues throughout Historic Opelika, AL. We are excited to announce the OSF 2023 Lineup! Toad The Wet Sprocket • 10,000

Maniacs • Drivin N Cryin, Shawn Mullins • David Ryan

Harris • Ruthie Foster • Kevn Kinney (Drivin N Cryin) •

Sarah Lee Guthrie • Mary Bragg • Charlie Mars • Dan

Navarro • Paul McDonald • Ryanhood • Adam Hood •

Abe Partridge • Jeff Black • Sarah Jean Kelly • Martha’s

Trouble • Michael McDermott • Heather Lynn Horton

• Bradley Cole Smith & Nelson Nolen • Sarah Clanton •

Jesse Lynn Madera • Mark True • Dallas Dorsey • Katie

Martin • Mia Rogers • Dixon Darling and more! Founded in 2019 by Rob & Jen Slocumb, aka, Martha’s Trouble, Opelika Songwriters Festival is a multi day festival featuring world-class artists in a small, southern, charming railroad town. Intimate listening rooms are created in restaurants, coffee shops, a distillery, pubs, and galleries and create a custom-made setting for a unique small town multi-day music festival.” Learn more and order tickets at https://opelikasongwritersfestival.com/

The Montgomery Oyster Fest

With our friends at Lightning Line, The Landmarks Foundation is happy to announce the Montgomery Oyster Fest, happening on September 16th, 2023. This event will feature one of Alabama’s best kept secrets, our state's oysters. Experience the abundance of flavors found across our coast and meet the folks who grow ‘em, harvest ‘em, and cook ‘em. The Oyster Fest is Saturday, September 16th, from 3pm to 7pm at Old Alabama Town and will feature chefs from the River Region, including Eric Riveria of Vintage Group, Jason McGarry from Central, and Amber Bonds of Funky Forte, amongst others. We are also happy to announce local favorite, King Bee as our musical act. Tickets include opportunities for cooking demonstrations with our chefs and the oyster farms. We hope to see y’all there! https://landmarksfoundation.networkforgood.com/ events/59496-the-montgomery-oyster-fest

BOOM! Business Partner: Health Wise Foods

10%

Off Your Purchase

Please present coupon or mention you saw it in the BOOM! Digital Issue. Offer Expires 9/30/2023

BOOMERS,

Meandering Moonlight Paddle Trip

Meandering Moonlight Paddle Trip @ DeSoto Falls Picnic Area-Alabama. DeSoto State Park staff offers this relaxing guided moonlight paddle trip on scenic Little River. Enjoy the peace and quiet of nature as we paddle upstream on the ‘coke bottle clear’ waters of the West Fork of Little River. Enjoy this flatwater paddle as the sun goes down and the full moon comes up. Experience the peace & quiet of the gloaming-time! What to know: This trip is approximately 4 miles round trip on flatwater, spans a 3 to 3 1/2-hour period and includes kayak, paddle, & personal flotation device. Weight limits: 300 pounds for singles & 450 for tandems. Ages 8 to adult. What to bring: Appropriate clothing for weather (you may get wet), headlamp or flashlight, bug spray, snacks, and drinking water. Date: September 30th, 2023, Time: 7:00 pm-10:00 pm, Where: DeSoto Falls Picnic Area-Miller’s Bend Paddle Shack (about 7 miles from main park area of DeSoto State Park), Fee: $30.00 for single kayak rental (2 person-tandem kayaks are available on a limited basis for $50.00) Registration Here https://www.alapark. com/DSP-Moonlight-Paddle-1

Capital City Master Gardeners Association Lunch & Learn @ Montgomery Cultural Arts Center

Capital City Master Gardener Association presents Lunch & Learn, the 1st Wednesday of Every Month from 12-1 pm. They will meet at Montgomery Cultural Arts Center (Armory Learning Arts Building), 1018 Madison Ave., Montgomery 36104. Mark your calendars, September 6, “Help My Grass” Dr. David Han, Turfgrass Specialist, Auburn University, will present “HELP MY GRASS!”. Is your lawn lush and beautiful? Do you know when to fertilize? What are you doing for weed control? How high do you mow your yard? Are there choices for the types of grass to select for the home? Come join us and find the answers! Join us. October 4, “Trees for Montgomery Prairie Soils” Russell Stringer, Montgomery City Arborist, will present “Trees for Montgomery Prairie Soils” Montgomery County has several soil types. Which trees are best for sandy soil or prairie soil? How tall do these trees get? What should I consider before planting trees in my landscape? Are there suggestions for how close to plant trees near my home? These are some of the questions that Russell will answer in his presentation. If you need advice about trees, this is a program you won’t want to miss. Join us!! BRING A SACK LUNCH, FREE PROGRAM, WATER PROVIDED, For information, please contact the Montgomery County Extension Office 334.270.4133. Also visit www.capcitymga.org.

Caregiver of the Month Spotlight: JoAnn Walters

JoAnn joins the Home Care Assistance team in 2020 at the height of the pandemic. Her contagious spirit has her clients begging for her to return. She goes above and beyond the call of duty to ensure that each of her clients knows they are loved. JoAnn often says, “present and accounted for duty,” showing her fun personality and accountability.

“In helping others, we shall help ourselves, for whatever good we give out completes the circle and comes back to us.” – Flora

Edwards

We appreciate your hard work and dedication, thank you for a job Well Done!!

For more information visit www.homecareassistancemontgomery.com

share your stuff with BOOM! We Love to Bring BOOMERS Together, send info and pics to

Shawn Junkins Cole Attorney & Servant Leader

"Even when family resources were not great when I was growing up, my mom always exhibited generosity to others. I always tell people that the greatest gift you can give your children after introducing them to the Lord is having them serve others. It seeps into their bones and becomes a part of who they are and makes them better humans."

This month’s cover profile is Shawn Cole, an attorney with Hill Hill Carter Law Firm in Montgomery. Shawn is also a mother of two with her husband Les, their son is attending Auburn University and their daughter is at Montgomery Academy. Even with a busy schedule practicing law, Shawn has immersed herself in serving her community. She serves in many ways, but a few include her church, ChristChurch Anglican, Kiwanis Club of Montgomery, and their major fundraiser, the Alabama National Fair, and Flatline Ministries. Shawn understands the importance of serving others who don’t look like you because that is how you build relationships community-wide. It has been a joy and inspiration getting to know Shawn and we think you’ll agree. Enjoy the read and share!

BOOM!: Please give us a brief biography, i.e., where you’re from, education, what brought you to the Montgomery area, did you raise your family here, schools, family, etc.?

Shawn: I grew up in Etowah County, Alabama in the wonderful, small town of Hokes Bluff. I moved to Tuscaloosa for college and then Samford University’s Cumberland School of Law. I was offered a job by Jimmy Evans at the Attorney General’s office just as I started my third year of law school, so I decided to move to Montgomery. Both of my parents had moved from my hometown, so I went somewhere new. After I practiced law a few years I met my husband, Les, who is from Montgomery. We love Montgomery and have loved raising our children here. We were a little older when we had children…..Mary Elizabeth is in the 11th grade at MA and an avid soccer player. Our son Jackson is at Auburn. He took a break from college during Covid and worked for the Montgomery Baptist Association, then in

Georgia and Los Angeles doing work in the film industry. He came closer to home to finish college, which made us incredibly happy. He and Mary Elizabeth are six years apart but are super close.

BOOM!: Shawn, you have been an attorney with Hill Hill Carter Law Firm in Montgomery Alabama for more than 20 years. Please share with us why

you chose this career path and what areas of law do you practice? What are some of the challenges and rewards of your work?

Shawn: My parents had a friend who was a lawyer when I was growing up and I saw him as always helping others and I loved the “service to others” aspect of what he did. While I did not choose to work the same area of law he practiced, I am still able to help others with my profession and through volunteer legal work. My primary area of practice is workers’

Son Jackson, Les and Mary Elizabeth

Daughter Mary Elizabeth and Shawn

compensation defense – I represent businesses whose employees are injured on the job. I love my clients and I really enjoy the lawyers I have cases against (most are great to deal with and I call them my “frien-amies”). The most challenging part of my job is the need for immediate answers by clients. You have to really know what you are doing to give answers as quickly as people want them these days. Sometimes this requires taking phone calls or answering emails at night or on the weekends, but it is a privilege to work for my clients, so it is never a bother. Being established in my career before having children probably makes balance easier for me. I can imagine that keeping up with the demands of work can be hard if you work somewhere that does not afford flexibility. Our nearly 100-year-old law firm organically became predominately female owned – probably because the men saw how hard the women worked and realized we could be mamas and lawyers without skipping a beat. We try to ensure opportunities for a balanced life for our staff.

Practicing law is a lot of work and requires a great attention to detail, but I meet the best people – from

executives to the hardest working laborers. I have amazing clients and the best law partners who are truly like family. I think if you love who you work with it makes life so much sweeter.

deals with lawyers who have grievances filed against them. Ethics is everything in this profession. Skill is important, but if you have skill and no ethics, you are doing this profession and clients a disservice. People lean on us and trust us. We must be advocates of the law and hold ourselves to the highest standards. I teach at worker’s compensation conferences and to clients throughout the state several times each year and the common topic I address is Ethics. It makes any industry in which we work (and life in general) better when we simply do what is right.

BOOM!: Do you have time to be involved in community organizations? Church? What organizations/projects are you most focused on? Would you share your perspective on the value of community service? How would you encourage our readers to engage in community service?

BOOM!: You have been involved with the Character & Fitness Committee for the Alabama State Bar. What issues are you concerned with? What role does ethics play in your work as an attorney?

Shawn: I am on two different committees that deal with ethics – one for law students wanting to be admitted as lawyers in the state and the second is within Montgomery County which

Shawn: Absolutely – this is my passion! Matthew 25:31-46 should be read in families every few months if not more often. Even when family resources were not great when I was growing up, my mom always exhibited generosity to others. I always tell people that the greatest gift you can give your children after introducing them to the Lord is having them serve others. It seeps into their bones and becomes a part of who they are and makes them better humans. I am in the Kiwanis Club of Montgomery, and I love how our members work so hard at the Alabama National Fair so

The family at work conference in Sandestin L-R: Les, Shawn, Mary Elizabeth & Jackson

Jackson, Shawn and Les

Mary Elizabeth, Mary Gray (Shawn's mom), Shawn

Jackson, Mary Elizabeth and Shawn at Toby Mac Concert

Jackson and Mary Elizabeth having fun at the Alabama National Fair

we can raise funds to give to our amazing nonprofits in the River Region! There are so many opportunities to serve from soup kitchens, making sleep mats for the homeless, donating resources or products, to getting your hands dirty with physical labor. Sometimes, simply serving drinks at an outreach to people who do not look like you can build a bridge between communities and beautiful friendships can be built. In Montgomery, we have the most amazing nonprofits who really love each other and work together for the betterment of our neighbors in need. You can mentor children at Mentors of Montgomery or That’s My Child, be a part of the amazing work in schools and the community through Flatline Ministries (Flatline Community Coalition, Flatline Youth Initiative, Flatline Music Initiative, etc.), talk to or mentor those trying to enter the job force through Hope Inspired Ministries, support artist on the West Side through King’s Canvas, support the great community work of Strong Tower/Strong Foundation, Friendship Mission (which is currently our only overnight shelter open in Montgomery), Mercy House, Common Ground, Valiant Cross Academy, Montgomery Christian School, or Montgomery Volunteer

Lawyer’s Program….This is only the tip of the iceberg! Anyone who isn’t sure what you want to do but who wants to get involved should reach out to Hands-On River Region, a part of the United Way, and they will help you find the perfect spot to volunteer! If you are a business, you can use your resources to help, too. One of my clients (Genpak) said “YES” when I asked for to-go boxes for our nonprofits. They donated so many that we had to have an 18-wheeler pick up and deliver them to Flatline! A dear friend from Eagle Motor Freight said “YES” when I asked if they would do the pickup and delivery. There are SO many ways to say YES if we just open our eyes to what is all

around us in this great community!

I truly believe that community-led initiatives are what it will take to change the trajectory of the lives of our neighbors who are unable to find HOPE, HEALING, and a way forward. Our nonprofits could be what I love most about Montgomery!

BOOM!: As a woman of faith, would you share your Christian Journey, and the guidance God has provided?

Shawn: I grew up the grandchild of a Baptist preacher, so I feel like I do not know of a time that I did not know the Lord. My dear friend Dewayne Rembert, lead pastor at Flatline Church at Chisholm, can tell you the exact date and time he accepted Christ. I am a bit jealous of that – I just know He has always walked with me, and I am thankful for that. While I did not always listen to Him as a teenager, I always knew He was with me, and I have always had a deep faith. There was a brief time as a young person when I had moments of “is what I believe really real,” but they were short-lived and during my college years. I never quit leaning on Him and trying to serve Him. I have many friends with different views than me on various issues, but I believe we love big, deep, and wide and that the Lord will take care of the rest. We can share our hearts and our faith without hesitation when we love others the way Christ loves us.

BOOM!: What is it about living in the Montgomery/River Region area that you like? What do we need more of?

Shawn: I mentioned this above – it is the

Shawn with missionary Cindy Betsill in Guatemala

Shawn with Charles Lee & Ayanna Sterling at a Mentors of Montgomery event

Shawn with Celia Thorington at a Zach Williams Concert

nonprofits! I believe we get what we put into life. Other than that, I believe we really have a lot to offer here if people look around. Museums, Shakespeare and other community theaters, restaurants, biking and hiking trails, Civil Rights tours, the Riverfront, the Planetarium, Zoo, golf, and so many other things! What we need more of is community pride. Keeping our community clean and working together toward common goals instead of pointing fingers. We have great people in the River Region – we can do better.

BOOM!: How do you like to relax and wind down from a full day of activity?

Shawn: Just being with family is my main way to relax. I am mostly involved in things I can include my family, other than Kiwanis and various legal activities. Time flies so we soak in all the time we can together at home, at the lake, or on vacation where we can try to step away from our work commitments and just be together.

We are super excited that my mom just moved to town, so we will be finding new ways to unwind and relax with her!

BOOM!: With a busy life, how do you like to spend time with family and friends? Describe your experience as a mom?

Shawn: I never imagined how deeply I could love until I was a mom. Having two

We are close

spend as much time together as we can, we have a family chat where we send inspirational quotes, devotionals, or goofy photos. We serve together, we talk openly about anything and everything. We are not perfect, and we have our moments that are not so beautiful – exhaustion, life, busyness, unmet expectations, etc. can get us all out of sorts no matter how much we love each other – but we come back full circle and never doubt the love we have for each other. We try to soak in all the time we can because we know life is fleeting. We have lost my mother-in-law, my last living grandparent, and then my father all within the last few years. Most recently we even lost one of our treasured dogs. We don’t want to live with regrets so we share our love and our hearts and spend what time we can at the lake or being together watching movies. As for friends, I have two wonderful small groups and am

blessed with a bountiful group of dear friends. We try to make time as time allows for friends but when family is free, that is our priority in this season of life. They grow up fast and we don’t want to miss these special times.

BOOM!: What are some of your favorite travel experiences? Favorite getaway spot? Any travel dreams planned?

Shawn: We love to travel for spring break – usually to Park City, Utah, or some island. We love traveling anywhere. Whether it is out of state or local to the lake, we just like to experience what the world has to offer when we can. When my son was 15, we traveled to Uganda, Africa with our church (Christchurch) on a mission trip and that was an incredible experience. Most recently, my 16-year-old daughter and I went on a mission trip to Guatemala with our church, ChristChurch, and it was such a blessing! Even if mission trips are not your thing, and big-ticket travel places are not your thing, there are many places to go on a budget – Alabama has the most fabulous mountains and beaches. Once our children leave school and we have more time, I would love to take a family trip to Europe. My bucket list places are Italy, Greece, and the Holy Land. I could go anywhere though really. Seeing new places, learning a new culture, trying new (but not weird) foods….I love everything about travel!

BOOM!: As you’ve aged, how have your priorities changed? How would you describe what it means to “age well”? Any thoughts on retirement?

amazing children, both very different, but both very loving, is my greatest joy.

and

Jackson and mary Elizabeth at Park City, Utah

Mary Elizabeth playing soccer at Montgomery Academy

Jackson getting started in the film industry

Shawn: Worship, serving, and family are my priorities. Les and I have not really planned a time to retire. We have worked enough to have some flexibility and having children later means we will work a bit later, too. Les and I both love our work so I am not sure we will really talk about retirement for a while yet.

BOOM!: Do you have any hobbies or other activities that grab your attention?

Shawn: Not really. Yikes. I wish I did. I love to read and travel, but some of those things take a backseat when there are other pressing things to do.

BOOM!: Many people, as they age, experience a renewed sense of purpose, new goals, etc. How would you describe this sense of renewal in your life? Any advice for the rest of us seeking renewal?

Shawn: I had a strong sense of what mattered early on, because of the way my immediate and extended family

loves deeply. I didn’t have some great awakening as I got older but once my father died two years ago, it hit me harder than it ever has that life is fleeting. That song, “Live Like You Were Dying,” took on a new meaning. Since having children, I lived intentionally, but more so now. Treasure the moments, leave nothing to chance, have no regrets, say I love you more often, give more, soak in every moment. Not in a selfish way, but in an “I want to make at least my corner of the world a little better than how

I found it,” kind of way. As for renewal of my heart and soul, I find praise and worship music take me to a great place. Worship experiences with opportunities to go to the Lord with abandon in prayer, whether at a women’s conference, renewal weekends like Paseo, Walk to Emmaus, and the like – all of these are so good for the soul. Take the time to find something that gets you to that mountain top at least once a year.

BOOM!: What are some of the future challenges you’re contemplating for yourself?

Shawn: One challenge that concerned me was how we would maneuver life as my mom ages since she was living hours away from us, but she has just bought a house in Montgomery so we could be closer. We are thrilled! She took a chance to move somewhere she has never lived to be closer to us. She is still young enough to enjoy life, make new friends, and get involved in a new community. We were very intentional about discussing this over the last few years so we would be prepared for what life may require. We feel so blessed that after 38 years of not living in the same town, we are now just a couple of miles from each other. We are not

Shawn with Mary Wedgeworth at That's My Child

Shawn with family at Park City, Utah

Les with Bella (RIP) and Barron at Lake Martin

Shawn sharing a moment with some of her female law partners

Jackson and Mary Elizabeth

afraid to discuss the hard issues about life and death and plan for life’s contingencies so what would have been a challenge later in life was diverted. For now, we are not considering any challenges – only opportunities God has so graciously given us.

BOOM!: In your life’s journey who has been influential in shaping how you live your life?

Shawn: So many people – teachers growing up, my godly grandparents and precious parents, my extended family,

and dear and treasured friends from so many chapters of my life. Friends growing up, coworkers, law partners and work colleagues and every single member of the Flatline Church Core Team. They all make me a better person. Witnessing how my closest friends live makes me strive to try to live each day better than the day before. We have so many intergenerational friendships from Christchurch who we have been blessed to watch and learn from….these people became “my people” when I moved away from my family so many years ago. Whether it was Celia who had a baby in

the nursery with me at church, to Prim, Liz, Judy, Lori, Elizabeth, Sheila, Katie, David and Merrily Brewer, Mark, and Eloise Wilkerson, and so many others –my life is rich with people who influence me in ways they will never even know.

BOOM!: Give us three words that describe you?

Shawn: That is hard! I think hospitable, intentional, and loyal. My family may say, “present, loving, and loud,” but they are not answering so I will stick to my answers. ��

We want to thank Shawn for sharing some of her life's story with us this month. Shawn is an advocate for her clients regarding the law as well as many non-profits who serve those with needs in our community. Shawn is a great example of aging well by serving others. We hope you’ll share Shawn’s story with friends and family, they’ll enjoy the reading experience. If you want to reach out to Shawn, call her at 334.386.4340 or email scole@hillhillcarter.com. Thanks to DiAnna Paulk and her creative photography skills. If you have questions, comments, or suggestions about our cover profiles, including nominating someone, please text them to Jim Watson at 334.324.3472 or email jim@riverregionboom.com

Thanks for Reading BOOM!

Shawn with her children and daddy at Spring House, Lake Martin

My IRA (Incremental Retirement Activity)!

A pop-up ad recently challenged me.

Pictured was a pensive, bearded, senior dude wearing glasses. He was making eye contact with a faraway place and the question sitting adjacent to his face asked, “Can I retire on 2.7 million dollars?”.

2.7 million? The financial firm placing the ad was inferring 2.7M was a “maybe” when it came to meeting retirement needs. SMH!

If that’s the required number, I’m screwed. I’m currently about 2.699 million short! As I further pondered the question, I asked myself “retire from what?”. To do what?

There are many ways to view and define retirement. I think of people who labored or were stuck in a career that became tedious, repetitive, and unfulfilling. I can see why they’d like to close that door and move on. For them, it seems that 2.7 million bucks should be more than enough to cover a Pickleball racquet and balls.

There’s a growing trend among BOOMers. We’re still working!

BOOMers are in demand! According to business advisor Cam Marston, it takes 1.5 non-BOOMer humans to equal/ replace our production and work ethic. These days, many businesses are finding it hard to find people who will show up and stay at a job for more than a few days.

I still love my job and hope to continue as long as my marbles roll in the same direction.

However, I AM retiring from certain aspects of life I no longer need or wish to tolerate.

For example, birthdays! I have one this month. I hope to keep having them. Last year, my daughter surprised me in my radio studio during our morning show and it was the greatest darn moment a man could have as a Dad. Nothing will EVER be better than that sweet event. I’ve already informed everyone in my circle that I am retiring from the muss and fuss! Maybe we’ll have some cake. And what is a muss, anyway?

Other things I am too old to tolerate:

Arguing! We have people who think 1+1=3. Or that math is racist. Or causing Covid. It’s the adage “Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience’. Mark Twain is credited with that

wisdom. If you disagree, I’m totally OK with it!

Hangovers! The number of days lost to misery, headaches, and dehydration is beyond my calculation. The mere idea of a hangover is anathema. I retired from those 20+ years ago and it’s the main reason I’m still having birthdays.

I’ve also retired from some physical activities. I no longer sit on floors. If something falls on the floor, I retrieve it with help. I was taking a medication in the kitchen recently and it fell to the tile. I leaned and bent over enough to get it using the kitchen sink for a grip. As I roared upright (making a guttural sound seems to help with physically stressful moves) I almost yanked the sink from its socket. For items like fallen bottle caps and such, I’ve turned my feet into talented grabbers. It’s a skill.

I have given notice to Other People’s Drama! I can still wish the best for my friends and will always help when asked- but I stay clear of the quicksand that are details. No more getting sucked in!

I long ago retired from annoyances like waiting in line. Whenever I make an appointment for anything, I make it clear I expect to be seen reasonably close to that appointment time or I’ll walk. I prefer to eat at restaurants that take reservations. You will never find me wearing a vibrating piece of plastic that gives you a pocket shock to

"A true story from the Greg files"

“Can I retire on 2.7 million dollars?”

announce, “your table is ready”.

I’m officially done with Cultural Demands. I’m not interested in sounding “hip” because once you’ve aged out of looking hip, trying to sound hip makes one look like they’re trying to be something they’re not. In other words, I am slang-less.

Whether a BOOMer works or doesn’t, you can make this phase of life so much easier by NOT CARING WHAT ANYONE ELSE THINKS OF YOU! At this point, I know who I am and what I am not. If someone sees me differently, I’d refer them to my previous point about “arguing”. It’s not that hard to avoid doing things that will give people reason to find you despicable.

Other retirement suggestions include the elimination of relationships that are “out of balance”. I’m done chasing people who don’t chase back. I still love working but life just seems more relaxed with these mini-retirements.

I recently came close to violating my plan by getting drawn into a debate on a social media site for radio people. Someone asked, “is Taylor Swift bigger than the Beatles?”.

I felt compelled to reply, “respectfully, no”. Later, some college radio queen in Altoona, Pennsylvania called me a “hater” (often the simpleton’s response to anyone they disagree with these days).

I wanted to jump in with both feet. I was going to rant on how the Beatles changed music, yanked America out of its post-JFK funk and impacted everything in the culture from politics to fashion. They were a powerful force! Taylor Swift is hugely successful, and I applaud her numerous platinum hit records. I simply believe that 100 years

from now someone will still be playing “Let It Be”. “Trouble”? Not so likely. Otherwise, she is odorless and colorless which makes her a good role model for the kids who adore her. Taylor Swift is beautiful- stunningly so- but not sexy. Just my opinion, friends!

I posted none of that. It dawned on me that an Elvis fan could easily claim he was bigger than the Beatles, and Frank Sinatra fans could say the same about Elvis. And if the Queen of Altoona thinks spending $1400 for a seat in the upper deck of a football stadium to see Swift is worth it, fine.

I stuck to my plan and retired from the argument The Beatles way. I just "let it be". It works!

(Share your thoughts on your "Kidulthood" experiences or if you have a comment on this column, email me at gregbudell@aol.com It's always fun to hear from BOOM! readers.)

Greg Budell lives in Montgomery with his wife, Roz, and dog, Brisco. He's been in radio since 1970, and has marked 17 years in the River Region. He hosts the Newstalk 93.1FM Morning Show with Rich Thomas and Jay Scott, 6-9 AM Monday - Friday. He returns weekday afternoons from 3-6 PM for Happy Hour with sidekick, Rosie Brock. Greg can be reached at gregbudell@aol.com

www.RiverRegionBoom.com

Taylor Swift or The Beatles? "Let it Be"

How To Keep Your Retirement On Track in a World of Low Returns

As a retiree, are you at risk for outliving your income? A serious question for serious times. Recently, several key assumptions traditionally used in retirement income planning are being challenged by leading financial industry experts. Are retirees who made those traditional assumptions still okay?

For example, lately several famous market observers, including John Bogle¹, the founder of the Vanguard Group, have warned that investors should reduce their expectations for their stock market investment returns to 4% a year. Ray Dalio², founder of one of the largest and most successful hedge funds in the world, also recently warned that “investment returns will be very low going forward.”

In addition, several leading studies have challenged the validity of the traditional “4% rule.” Developed back in the 1990’s when interest rates were higher for CDs and bonds, the rule stated that if a retiree kept their withdrawals limited to 4% of their initial retirement portfolio balance, that it should provide a sustained income for thirty years of retirement. However, Wade Pfau³, a professor of retirement income at the American College of Financial Services and Michael Finke of Texas Tech University, found that given the sustained current level of low interest rates that the level of acceptable initial withdrawals needed to be limited to 2.85% to provide an income for thirty years of retirement.

Financial Thoughts with Susan Moore

workshop covers a number of issues including factoring in the abovementioned changes to traditional assumptions, key risks (i.e., sequence rate of return and inflation), and various approaches to mitigating the risks of outliving your income.

If you would like to be included in the webinar, please call 334.270.1672 or sarah@moorewealthmanagement.com

By Susan Clayton Moore, J.D. Principal of Moore Wealth Management, Inc.

The Stanford Center on Longevity recently published a study that recommended that retirees should focus on sources that were not exposed to stock market risk to cover essential expenses, i.e., Social Security or an annuity of one type or another. It found that if income to cover essential expenses was exposed to stock market risk that the emotional cost of worrying about meeting expenses during a stock market downturn would prompt many investors to make ill-advised investment decisions.

On Wednesday, September 27th, Susan Moore of Moore Wealth Management, Inc. will be conducting a complimentary webinar on methods of how to not outlive your retirement income. The

Susan Clayton Moore, J.D., is a financial advisor and wealth manager of Moore Wealth Management, Inc., with offices in Auburn, Montgomery, and Alexander City, AL. Susan has under advisement over $170 million (as of 1.21.2022) in brokerage and advisory assets through Kestra Financial and has been a financial planner over 40 years. Contact Susan at 334.270.1672. Email contact is susan@moorewealthmanagement.com.

The opinions expressed in this commentary are those of the author and may not necessarily reflect those held by Kestra Investment Services, LLC or Kestra Advisory Services, LLC. This is for general information only and is not intended to provide specific investment advice or recommendations for any individual. It is suggested that you consult your financial professional, attorney or tax advisor regarding your individual situation.

Securities offered through Kestra Investment Services, LLC (Kestra IS), member FINRA/SIPC. Investment Advisory Services offered through Kestra Advisory Services, LLC (Kestra AS), an affiliate of Kestra IS. Kestra IS or Kestra AS are not affiliated with Moore Wealth Management, Inc. https://bit.ly/KF-Disclosures

¹https://www.financial-planning.com/opinion/jack-bogleforecasts-lower-stock-and-bond-returns

²https://www.zerohedge.com/news/2016-10-11/ investment-returns-will-be-very-low-going-forward-raydalio-says-gold-could-prove-pr

³https://www.onefpa.org/journal/Pages/The%204%20 Percent%20Rule%20Is%20Not%20Safe%20in%20a%20LowYield%20World.aspx

covers a number of issues, including a review of the various legal documents involved in estate planning such as wills, durable powers of attorney, advanced healthcare directives, revocable and irrevocable trusts. Beneficiary designations are a great tool, properly used, in estate planning.

Essential Oils and Insects

This is definitely the worst month for me as far as getting stung/bitten by a variety of insects, but the most bothersome (to me, at least) has to be mosquitoes. In fact, in the last few weeks alone I have been stung three times by bees and bitten multiple times by mosquitoes. My husband has been stung by a black wasp – particularly painful! And my son has been bitten multiple times by mosquitoes. You would think that we would all be more vigilant about spraying with bug spray, wouldn’t you? Unfortunately, it takes us this long to get in the habit, but now the bug spray is, once again, at every door.

So let’s look at bug spray first and then we’ll take a quick look at how to treat bug bites and stings, both naturally of course.

There are a bunch of essential oils that act as insect repellants in their own right and of course you can combine them to add extra impact and hopefully achieve a fragrance profile that appeals to you, but not to the bugs!

My top choices would be:

Patchouli

Cat Nip

Peppermint

Citronella

Eucalyptus

Lavender

Cedarwood

Lemongrass

The only one on that list that you need to be a little careful with is lemongrass –it is particularly powerful, and therefore a great one to have in your blend, but

it can be an irritant if used in too high doses. Use very sparingly – stick to just one or two drops in a blend and you will be fine.

I am sure you have all used citronella candles or oils in the torches – very effective against mosquitoes particularly. Peppermint and lavender are both good plants to have around your garden and/ or house to keep insects away and as such are good oils to put in an insect repellant blend too. I often put a small dish of dried lavender flowers on my windowsills (inside) in the summer months; not only does it smell great, but it deters insects from sneaking inside.

Peppermint is also particularly good at repelling ants; if you are having a problem with ants getting in somewhere, mix up a bottle of water, a couple of tablespoons of white vinegar and a few drops of peppermint oil. Shake it well to disperse the oil in the liquid, then spray the affected are liberally. You may need to do this for a few days, but you will see results!

I make two versions of insect repellant (or bug spray), one for the horses and one for humans and dogs. I’ll share the human/dog one with you; the horse one is much more complicated.

Use a large spray bottle, preferably dark glass or BPA plastic. The darkness protects the oils from light damage, but also try to keep it out of direct heat, so don’t keep it on a windowsill or in the car! Half fill the bottle with Aloe Vera Gel, this not only cools the skin but also helps soothe any bites you already have. Add a tablespoon of apple cider vinegar which helps to disperse the oils within the liquid (oil and water don’t mix!) Next add your chosen essential oils – I use lavender, eucalyptus, cedarwood and citronella. In a 750ml bottle use 20 drops of each. Then fill up the bottle with distilled or filtered water. Shake well before each application. It smells great and is safe enough to use on children and dogs too!

Now, for when you do get bitten or stung, because even with all the bug spray in the world, one of them is sure to get the bit of skin you missed! There are a few essential oils that you can apply neat (undiluted) for acute situations, just like this one. My first choice is Helichrysum, though this is a little more expensive; my second choice is Lavender, which is much more reasonably priced and easier to get hold of. Whichever you have, apply it as soon as possible directly onto the bite/sting site and reapply every few hours. Both will ease the pain, help with any itchiness, and stop infection. If you would also like the cooling effect of aloe vera gel, then you can add that too.

Let me know how your experience goes. I’d love to hear about it.

email: nyrbhalla@gmail.com I web: us.nyrorganic.com/shop/tracybhalla I www. LogHouseAromatics.com

Tracy Bhalla, independent consultant with NYR Organics and founder of LogHouseAromatics.com; after 25 years of using homeopathic remedies, it was time to take charge and complete my Aromatherapy Certification, which I achieved April 2020 and since founded LogHouseAromatics.com as a source for useful essential oil and general natural health information and a place to purchase certain products. email: nyrbhalla@gmail.com I am here to answer any questions you may have.