GEN Z ZEES THE BOOMer LIGHT!

Hey, my fellow BOOMers! Would it make you feel any better to know some of our opinions and values are being embraced by Gen Z?

At least that’s what I read on the internet, and you know, if it’s on the internet it must be true.

Who exactly, is Gen Z? A quick search tells me Gen Z-ers follow Gen Y-ers, so the “Zs” are the demographic born after 2000. That makes common ground between Us and Them more of a miracle (than a surprise)!

Z = < 23years old.

So, what is it Gen Z likes about BOOMers? I found 10- count ‘em- 10 areas of common ground and it’s not a mutual appreciation of Hai Karate cologne.

In order-

1. "People share way WAY too much on social media."

FACT CHECK- TRUE! I’m on Twitter (@ gregbudell). Elon Musk has freed it from political bullies, and it’s mostly fun. Facebook, which at times seems to be run by Satan, is a different story. I celebrate the birthdays, anniversaries. Please leave the symptoms of your undiagnosed rash off my newsfeed.

2. "Screw touchscreens. I want physical buttons . . . especially in the car."

I have mastered the touch of my cell phone, but it’s very easy to accidentally brush the cell phone screen and initiate a phone call while sticking in a pocket. We call it “buttdialing”. It rarely involves the butt, but it’s embarrassing when you realize you just called a Facebook friend you don’t all that well, or at all. I’m notorious for this. So far, no one’s gotten all bent out of shape about it, probably because it happens to them, too! And please- can we STOP with the touch menu screens at McDonald’s? They take forever. If I’m getting my order screwed up I want it done by a human I can blame!

3. "I hate going to concerts and seeing everyone with their phones up."

I just hate going to concerts. Parking $ucks, and BOOMers need more bathroom breaks. Potential solution- two intermissions at any concert featuring an artist whose last Top 10 hit was pre-Reagan? I do think holding up a cigarette lighter is cooler than a phone though nobody carries them anymore.

4. "I will never own an e-reader. Nothing compares to a real paper book."

Full disclosure- we bought my daughter’s sweet Grandma an e-reader and she loves it. Grandma Jeanette can download with the best. For me, I prefer real books and have a stack of them next to my bed. Reading isn’t as much fun with glasses, though I can ditch them with sufficient lightlike that of a 10-megaton atomic bomb. There’s nothing like rolling over a nice paperback during the night and peeling the pages off your shoulder when you wake up!

5. "I want to read articles online without entering an email, creating an account, and giving out my phone number."

I agree with Gen Z on this. If I’m subscribing to something (and I know I’ve doubled up on a couple things because I lose track), that fine. If I want to sample a web site, or a story linked on a web site, I hate seeing ‘YOU’VE READ YOUR FREE QUOTASIGN UP OR GET LOST”. If they want that information from me, they can get it from China. They have it all. Thank you Tik-Tok!

6. "I just want to speak to a real person on the phone when I have to call a business . . . automated customer service lines are the worst."

There are humans on every alleged customer service line. To get to them, you must navigate a thousand prompts on the “menu” (any menu without fries is not a menu).

After the prompts and circumstance, you may finally get a human, who often has no idea why you’re a tad short of patience. WOW Cable- you took 3 hours of my life this week. I’m mad, but I’m stuck with you- for now, WOW.

7. "Paper menus are far superior to QR codes."

QR Codes came out of nowhere a few years back. I hate them. Just print cheap, legible menus that I don’t have to zoom in to read. Make a nice cardboard-like menu about 18” by 18”, I’m not sure what is being accomplished with QR Codes. Is it saving the planet? I doubt it. Good idea, Gen Z!

Any menu that weighs more than the meal is ponderous anyway.

8. "I don't need a 'smart' refrigerator or toaster."

Gen Z nails it. My buddy Rich Thomas recently purchased a washer/dryer that for some reason, is connected to the internet. Rich loves these things and more power to him.

I, however, do not want my dirty laundry online, or my dryer texting me “Almost Done!”. Not to be conspiratorial, I think this may ultimately lead to appliances that can be programmed to kill us in our sleep. What’s next? “Excuse me, my toothbrush lost its internet connection”?

9. "Using apps for everything is annoying. Like going to Disney World, and not being able to do anything (including eat) unless you use the app."

Just today I looked at all the apps on my phone. There are 5 screens with 24 apps each. I use about 8 of them. I’m terrified of deleting the ones I don’t use. I wonder if people are more impressed when they see a kaleidoscopic phone screen? “Imovie”? What is that? I’m only watching phone sized video in a power outage.

10. And this is a classic old-person meme, but it's TRUE, right? "I really don't want people I don't know on my lawn."

Sorry Z-ers. I have a beautiful lawn. I don’t care if you walk on it or if your dog poops on it. STAY OFF MY PORCH!

I already have a God.

(If you have a comment on this column, email me at gregbudell@aol.com. It's still fun to hear from new people!)

Greg Budell lives in Montgomery with his wife, Roz, and dog, Brisco. He's been in radio since 1970, and has marked 17 years in the River Region. He hosts the Newstalk 93.1FM Morning Show with Rich Thomas and Jay Scott, 6-9 AM Monday - Friday. He returns weekday afternoons from 3-6 PM for Happy Hour with sidekick, Rosie Brock. Greg can be reached at gregbudell@aol.com