Once in a

By Cynthia Lim

A colleague's dream trip, and his sudden death six months later, puts work life into perspective.

Bill sat at the front of my desk in his crisply pressed shirt and bow tie, holding his yellow legal pad and mechanical pencil.

"It's a regatta down to South America and back. My wife and I are sailing to Tierra del Fuego." His eyebrows lifted in expectation and a smiled formed on his freckled and ruddy face. "It will take six weeks, if all goes well," he said.

I gulped. Six weeks! Vacation days offered to management at the school district were generous but nobody ever took them at once. There was an unspoken ethos of working more than your allotted eight hours. It was a badge of honor to have unspent days at the end of the year.

I was a few weeks into my newly appointed position as a division head in the Los Angeles Unified School District. As a child of Chinese immigrants, I had always believed in hard work and achievement and felt that I had reached the pinnacle of my career. Anxious to please my superiors, I worried what they would say if I approved his request.

"I cleared it with my previous supervisor before she retired," Bill said.

I didn't want to burst his bubble. "I don't know. That's such a long time."

"I know, but this is something I have dreamed of for so long. It's a once in a lifetime trip."

Could I spare him for six weeks? Bill handled district assessments for students. He established testing schedules, selected items for the tests and negotiated contracts with vendors. He fielded calls from over 800 schools, addressed complaints from teachers about too much testing and answered questions from the Superintendent who wanted more

accountability. I was impressed with his competence as he responded to inquiries in his unruffled manner. It didn't matter if it was 4:45 in the afternoon or if I needed an answer in twenty minutes. "Not a problem," he would say, "Cheers!"

Bill was older than me, in his late-50s, with a receding hairline and stout stature. I knew he lived on his boat in Marina del Rey and loved to sail. I always wondered how he kept his shirts wrinkle-free on his boat.

I looked away from his hopeful face and out the window. From the 21st floor, cars inched along the sprawl of freeways below. The sun was setting and the green hills to the east were cast in a pinkish glow.

I thought about my husband who was felled by a heart attack and brain injury just four years earlier. At age 47, he was now disabled and no longer able to work as an attorney. He couldn't pursue any of the dreams he once had. motto. Each year, he had planned spring vacations with me and our two boys. "Why wait until we get old?" he always said. "Let's live it up now." We hunted seashells off the coast of Georgia, camped in the Sierra Nevada and snorkeled off the coast of Belize. Life was so fleeting. I hadn't known it could be lost in a nanosecond. Who was I to deny Bill his trip to South America? Unlike teachers, we didn't need to hire substitutes when we were gone. Our work at the central office was not as important as what happened in classrooms every day.

I swiveled back in my chair to face Bill. "Of course, you can go. I would feel terrible if you missed this opportunity."

His face flushed pink against his curly red hair as he smiled. "Don't worry, I'll make sure everyone is briefed before I leave. Life is good!"

During his six-week absence, I added his responsibilities to mine. I immersed myself in learning about the assessments and answered questions from schools. I grew

more confident in my new position. When my supervisor asked, "What were you thinking letting Bill leave for six weeks?" I shrugged and said, "It's a once in a lifetime deal."

Bill was cheerier than usual when he returned. He walked with a bounce in his step and attacked his duties with renewed vigor. "Thank you again for being so understanding," he told me repeatedly.

Six months later, Bill suffered a fatal heart attack. At his funeral, I spoke about his cheerfulness and how he always followed through, no matter how late the hour. The sorrow in his wife's eyes pierced me. There were speeches by those he had touched — his men's group, church group, sailing club and his 20-year-old son. Their tributes made me see that Bill wasn't just an assessment expert, he had many passions that he pursued with gusto.

I stayed in the division head position for nearly ten years, but the long hours and constant demands wore at me. I made sure to use my allotted vacation days each year and in 2017, I retired at age 60. I wanted to spend more time with my husband. I wanted to pursue a life-long dream to discover my roots in China. I wanted to explore printmaking and art journaling. Those interests absorbed me after the unexpected death of my husband a year into my retirement.

During the isolation that ensued with the pandemic, I reevaluated my priorities and thought of Bill when I read about the Great Resignation where 57 million Americans quit their jobs.

Although he had expressed his gratitude, I really had him to thank for teaching me what was important in my life. It wasn't the number of hours I worked or pleasing my supervisors. It was taking time to pursue creative outlets and to have a well-rounded life surrounded by my family and friends.

Cynthia Lim lives in Los Angeles and is the author of Wherever You Are: A Memoir of Love, Marriage, and Brain Injury. She is working on a book about her family’s immigration from China. Source www.nextavenue.org

Our olfactory system is directly connected to our brain, which is why certain smells can evoke such strong emotions or memories of time, place, or even people. What reminds you of your grandmother for instance? The smell of cookies fresh from the oven? Or the lavender fragrance she always wore? Does just the smell of coffee percolating wake you up in the morning? Or the smell of freshly baked bread make your stomach rumble in anticipation? I think you get the idea.

The science from www.britannica. com/science/smell: “The pathway of olfactory conduction begins with the olfactory receptors—small, slender nerve cells embedded in large numbers (about 100 million in the rabbit) in the epithelium of the mucous membrane lining the upper part of the nasal cavity. Each olfactory receptor cell emits two processes (projections). One of these is a short peripheral dendrite, which reaches to the surface of the epithelium, where it ends in a knob carrying a number of fine radially placed filaments, the olfactory hairs. The other process is a long and extremely thin axon, the olfactory nerve fibre, which reaches the cranial cavity by passing through one of the openings in the bony roof of the nasal cavity and enters the olfactory bulb of the forebrain. Sensations of smell are experienced when certain chemical substances become dissolved in the thin layer of fluid covering the surface of the mucous membrane and thus come in contact with the olfactory hairs. In all probability it will be found that the receptor cells differ among themselves in their sensitivities to various odorous substances.”

In a nutshell, whatever you sniff up your nose goes straight to your brain and causes an emotional reaction which is then embedded in your memory with that smell. This can be good or bad, but hopefully the smells associated with Christmas are good as that’s what I’d like to concentrate on today.

There are a few aromas that most people would agree remind them of Christmas – cinnamon, orange, nutmeg, cloves, cardamom, frankincense being a popular few. Peppermint could also be included in that list with all the candy canes around!

Going along with the assumption that these smells will create a good feeling with most people then wouldn’t it be a good idea to recreate those aromas at home to induce that Christmas feeling? Pot Pourri is the classic version of this. Dried fruit, herbs and spices in an open bowl that lightly scent the air around them, you will get a waft of scent if you walk past it or of course if you actually smell it close up, but it’s also decorative at the same time. The scent is very light though, so if you want to intensify it you will need to add essential oils to the dried mixture itself OR consider another option.

Sometimes called a Scent Simmer; putting the herbs, spices, dried fruit, etc., in a saucepan of water and bringing to a gentle simmer on the stove will release the fragrances of everything in there into the air with the steam created. Try a cinnamon stick, a couple of whole cloves, a cardamom pod, some freshly grated nutmeg, a couple of drops of peppermint EO. You cannot help but smell it as you are breathing it in. Some people keep this scent simmer going for the whole week of Christmas! Keep topping up the water and add more herbs, spices, etc. as the fragrance fades over time. What a delightful way to fragrance a room! Just don’t forget about it.

Another option I just recently discovered is the herbal firestarter. In a paper cupcake holder, fill it 1/3 full of herbs and spices that you like the smell of – I used ginger, sage, thyme, bay leaves and cinnamon sticks. Cover it with some kind of melted wax; beeswax is preferable but any wax that will harden and is flammable. Insert a string wick and let the wax harden. When you are ready to light your fire, lay it as usual and then light the wick and put the firestarter in the center of your fire. Let it do it’s thing. As it burns it will not only get your fire going but it will fill the room with the fragrances you put in there.

email: nyrbhalla@gmail.com I web: us.nyrorganic.com/shop/tracybhalla I www. LogHouseAromatics.com

River Region citizens gathered to show support for the area’s premier therapeutic riding facility known as Montgomery Area Nontraditional Equestrians or “MANE.” The 13th annual “Raise the Roof” Seafood Celebration took place on Thursday, October 20th. MANE uses equine-related activities to serve area children and adults including veterans, who have physical, cognitive, emotional, and developmental disabilities, as well as at-risk youth. A fabulous seafood buffet, freshly prepared in MANE’s Poarch Creek Arena, was provided by Wintzell’s Oyster House. Baptist Health, MAX Credit Union, Spire Energy and Alabama Power sponsored the event. Clear skies and cool fall temperatures added to the autumn celebration in an extraordinary setting for all to enjoy. Huntingdon College students directed guests to park along MANE’s 3-acre sensory integration trail. The large sensory integration trail (SIT) has carefully designed stations featuring activities that integrate the rider’s sensory input via sight, smell, hearing, and touch. The SIT provides opportunities to enhance gravitational security, balance, grasp/release, and proprioceptive input while participants engage in therapeutic horseback riding. For example, the giant tic-tac-toe game station was designed to challenge MANE riders’ cognitive ability to organize successful and appropriate responses to sensory input, while remaining mounted on their horse. The double figureeight shaped trail of crushed limestone aggregate encompasses a beautiful memorial garden, the Rotary Club covered arena, and a zone filled with colorful flexible noodles suspended in air. On the way to the party, guests passed by MANE’s smaller, shaded sensory trail, which afford riders other interactive, learning experiences and was developed by Church of the Highlands volunteers. Students and faculty from Faulkner University recently refreshed sensory trail stations and

landscape. Guests were greeted at the front door to the facility by MANE’s Director Tiffany Atkinson, MANE Associate Director Abby Claybrook and MANE Volunteer Coordinator Jessica McWhorter alongside MANE Board Members Susie Wilson and Michelle Parkinson. Party-goers proceeded through the indoor section of the complex, which houses offices, classrooms, and The Kiwanis Korral – an indoor resource room where parents and Guests can’t get enough of Wintzell’s Oyster House oysters!! Photo by Abby H. Claybrook caregivers can watch riders in the adjacent covered area. The walls of the corridor leading to the stable area were lined with “introductory boards” designed by volunteers and featuring the many faces of MANE riders, volunteers, and staff. Through the double doors and just beyond the Kiwanis Korral is The Kiwanis Care Korner. The “Korner” is the horse washing/ grooming area, tack room, and feed storage room designed to ensure the health and safety of MANE’s horses as well as to teach students about equine care. MANE 4H Horse Club members Georgia Cauthen, Audrey McWhorter, Galyn von Gal, MacKenzie Nelson, Emma Sherwood and Rep. Barry Moore plays “horse shoes” with a rider on the Maya Shaffer hosted Sensory Integration Trail the day before Raise the Roof! a table to introduce guests to the MANE Horse Club and showed off their many awards, trophies, and blue ribbons from 4H competitions.

Pat and Cyndi Crockett, Ken Furman,Montgomery Co. Farmer’s Federation, Ronald and Jennie Botterbosch, Richard and Kay Keeshan, The Sloan Family, Gabe and Brent Krause, Maggie Thompson, Brelinda Webster, Huck, Hamp & John Charles Howell, Joey and Carrie Cauthen, The Tatum Family, Jack and Kim Golson, Sue Bell Cobb, Bentt Spear, Double B Ranch- Julie Beasley, and Bill Gaston collectively sponsored all of MANE’s equine partners for the coming year. Community contributors to MANE and the MANE class scholarship program include Melissa Eubanks, Paul and Connie Winn, The Betzler Family, William Martin, and Coleen and Warren Walhaug. sponsor the event and attract buyers. Toes tapped to country music favorites from the Trotline Band as guests dined, mingled, made new acquaintances, danced the night away, and truly raised the bar for barn parties everywhere.

MANE volunteers are the backbone of this program, working countless hours throughout the year and in preparation challenges, become better acquainted with horses, or share their love of the equine world. MANE’s equine-related activities can produce improved mobility, balance, posture, coordination, language development, motivation, independence, self-discipline, concentration, and lifeskill competencies. These benefits are derived from the transfer of movement from horse to rider as well as from the opportunities for social interaction, education, recreation, and therapy.

After visiting with MANE’s horses, guests headed to the Poarch Creek Arena, where Wintzell’s Oyster House was preparing a fresh feast. The feast included an array of grilled and fresh oysters, fish, chicken, and shrimp. Wintzell’s Oyster House also served their famous sides such as coleslaw, cheese grits, and scrumptious bread pudding. At an icefilled food station, Wintzell’s well-trained culinary brigade shucked raw oysters, harvested from the Gulf earlier in the Free Digital day. SubscriptionsStivers Ford displayed one of their shiny black trucks in the arena, to help www.RiverRegionBoom.com

of events. Volunteers of all ages and skills are needed to assist riders, help maintain the facility, and work with horses, either on a weekly basis for classes. Community leaders, retired citizens, and students donate many hours and immeasurable knowledge and encouragement to program participants each year. Often, volunteers are introduced to MANE by attending events such as Raise the Roof. Others volunteer at MANE to fulfill their desire to help individuals with

For more information about MANE, please visit MANE’s website at www.maneweb.org. To volunteer, please call 334-2130909 or email jessica@maneweb. org . For program information, please email abby@maneweb. org . Donations can be sent to:

Pike Road, AL 36064. MANE holds Raise the Roof guests are treated to a “hay ride” from MANE’s Sensory Integration Trail to the party entrance. Photo by Abby H. Claybrook a 501C3 corporation status and its instructors are certified through PATH Intl., a regulatory agency that assures stringent standards for quality therapeutic horseback riding through instructor certification, site accreditation and program monitoring.

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