wANT TO ASK JACKIE A QuESTION ABOuT LIfE, THE uNIVERSE, AND EVERyTHINg? gET SOME ANSwERS!
ASKJACKIE@QUORUMCOLUMBUS.COM
| JACKIE VANDERWORTH Q #1: Dear Jackie, I have a friend who is constantly meddling in my life and giving me unsolicited advice on everything from what to wear to who to date. I used to shrug it off but it is getting more annoying than ever. For example, she is telling me I eat too much and am getting heavier and that I spend too much money partying on the weekends. I feel like my BF is my partner and we are married (I am gay!) What should I do to change her behavior? ~Todd Dear Todd, I live by the 3 F’s of Life- If you don’t Feed, Fuck, or Finance me then you have no business to tell me what to do! She is crossing the friend line because she is not a lover, not a partner, and barely a friend. This conduct would be hard to take from a significant other, let alone a friend. Explain how you feel and be direct. If her behavior doesn’t change immediately, you’ll stop hanging out with her. I would limit my time with her so she gets the message and socialize with other people who treat you better. If that doesn’t work, tell her to jump off the friend boat...because she just sank like the Titanic! ~Jackie Q #2: Dear Jackie, There’s this guy I am seeing but only for sex. We hook up a lot but I am ashamed to take him out in public. He is not my dream guy and not that good looking, but he is nice and great in bed. As I am not meeting other guys to date at this point and having grown fond of him, I would like to take it to the next level. But I am so hung up on how he looks. Does this make me shallow and conceited? ~Mike
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Dear Mike, Sounds like you prescribe to the “Beauty is only a light switch away” philosophy. Everyone looks good when the lights go out, but when they are on, it’s a different story. This may work for the one night stands, but when someone becomes a regular in your life, a relationship has developed. And it sounds like you have grown feelings towards him and just cannot admit it. Physical attractiveness between two people is important as well as the mental connection. And since you cannot change how he looks or your feelings about it, you will always be missing that important component. So do him a favor and cut him loose....HE deserves better! ~JACKIE Q #3 Dear Jackie, My mother has been causing a lot of drama in my personal life. She is divorced and does not work. Her money problems have started to affect me and I’m not sure how to balance my relationship with her and my personal finances. My partner and I make decent money, but we cannot afford to take care of her too. She is only 52. What would be the best way to handle her and still help? ~Justin Dear Justin, At some point in life, we become the parent and they become the child. Although this usually happens when our parents are at a much advanced age, it sounds like is has hit you now. Try to help her financially with a small amount of money with the intention that it is for a limited time, even if it’s $20 a pay check. But be firm that she is going to have to take care of herself and you cannot be responsible for her finances. Since she is young enough to work, maybe start with a part-time job or have her placed with an employment agency for temporary assignments to re-enter the work force. And she needs to get her own life, so set her up with a dating site to meet a man....preferably a rich one! ~Jackie