Issue 49
Monday December 5 2011
Find CUB Magazine inside this issue
It’s what everyone’s Legitimate or a Queen talking about How Mary tech spin-off illegal? is the latest craze hitting the Silicon roundabout. p. 6
Can occupations be both and should students take part in occupations? p. 7
Fashionably festive CUB shows off its vintage Christmas chic. Inside CUB
The Newspaper of Queen Mary Students’ Union
COMMENT
Strike for your rights Robert Pritchard
Striking back Words by Kaamil Ahmed
S
tudents stood on picket lines outside Queen Mary in a display of solidarity with lecturers from the university who were taking part in the public sector strike last Wednesday.
Image by Lloyd Ramos
They called for other students to not cross the picket lines on a day when up to two million workers from the public sector went on strike in protest against changes to their pensions.
“Unfortunately, because of trade union laws, not all the staff are allowed to be on the picket line but we’re students here in solidarity with the picket line and in London we’re going
to have a huge march,” said Sean Rillo Raczka, the University of London Union’s Vice President. “It’s going to be a very good day.” Continued on page 5
The strikes on the 30 November have divided opinion, between those taken in by government propaganda and those who are more sceptical. It is fact that pension reforms will leave public sector workers worse off, and any argument that workers will benefit are lies because the calculations fail to take into account the £2.8bn greater contribution required. Negotiations had stalled, with no meeting between the trades unions and ministers since 2nd November, so Cameron’s insistence that they were ongoing was a de facto lie. Working longer, contributing more, and receiving less: if that’s not reason to strike, I don’t know what is. But the strikes are about more than just pensions (despite TUs having to declare them along a single issue), it is part of a greater fight back against an attack on public services. When the government starts to consider humanity (in the majority) then workers won’t be forced to withhold their labour. Your solidarity, public or private sector, would be appreciated.
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QMESSENGER MONDAY DECEMBER 5 2011
News
Editorial Team: • Executive Editor - Sam Creighton vpcommunications@qmsu.org • Managing Editor - Caz Parra editor@qmessenger.co.uk • Sub-Editors - Robert Pritchard, Maria Sowter and Lauren Mason proof@qmessenger.co.uk •News Editors - Rosie Reynolds, Kaamil Ahmed and Ariane Osman news@qmessenger.co.uk • Comment Editors - Kashmira Gander and Stephanie Rankin comment@qmessenger.co.uk • Satire Editors - Ben Richardson and Aaron Barber satire@qmessenger.co.uk • Sports and Societies Editors - Shafi Musaddique, Hollie Carter and Ashley Sweetman sport@qmessenger.co.uk • Photography Editors - Keeren Flora and Bethia Stone photography@qmessenger.co.uk
The Cloud How you fit into the news.
The prime minister described what the TUC called “the biggest strike in a generation” which took place last week “a damp squib”.
You should be writing for us.
Public sector workers have been asked to work for longer and put money into their pensions by the government.
Thousands of protesters participated in the Scottish TUC’s annual St Andrew’s Day march and rally against racism in Glasgow which took place last week.
Email any of the above email addresses to sign up to our award winning team and get your career in student media off to a flying start. Alternatively find us on facebook.com /QMessenger twitter.com/QMessenger
Thousands of criminals fined by Scottish Courts are not paying up, undermining the confidence of the public in the legal system and increasing the distress of victims.
Queen Mary’s film company, Mile End Films will be filming the preparation of British athletes for the London Olympics games in 2012.
QMessenger is printed at Mortons of Horncastle Ltd, Media Centre, Morton Way, Horncastle, Lincolnshire, LN9 6JR. Tel: 01507 523 456. Each issue has a print run of 1,000 and costs £445 to print and deliver.
Video footage of a passenger shouting racist abuse on a London to Manchester train is being investigated by police.
Operation Goodnight, a voluntary curfew set by a Cornish housing estate in order to limit antisocial behaviour may be used by bigger cities in the UK.
Established in 2008, QMessenger is the free weekly newspaper of Queen Mary Students’ Union. We are proud of our editorial independence and endeavour to always hold the College, Union and external bodies to account and to provide the best news and analysis to the students of Queen Mary, University of London. QMessenger is created entirely by students and the publication retains all copyright of design, text, photographs and graphics, along with the individual contributor.
By Ariane Osman and Kaamil Ahmed
Any views expressed in QMessenger section are those of the individual writer and do not necessarily reflect those of the paper, the editorial board, Queen Mary Students’ Union or Queen Mary, University of London.
Images by: asbo by rubberdreamfeet (Flickr) David Cameron by DFID (Flickr) November 30th by Kaamil Ahmed
@QMessenger
In this digital age of ours it would be remiss for us not to keep an eagle eye on our online presence.So,here are the best messages tweeted @QMessenger this week. Just finished my article about organ donation for @qmessenger and signed up to the Organ Donor Register. Felt scary but good! I love the way some people say @QMessenger “Qmessengaaaaaaaaaa”
Good article on front of @ qmessenger. mps now saying all unis have to charge £9k cos charging less will segregate ppl...what was the point?
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QM free-range egg policy wins Good Egg award Eliza Cole Queen Mary, University of London (QMUL) was recently awarded a Good Egg Award by the charity Compassion in World Farming. The award was presented because of QMUL’s pledge to only use freerange eggs in its catering, which would result in the improvement of thousands of chickens’ lives. Food Services Manager in Catering and Hospitality Services, Emma Baker said: "This award reflects Queen Mary's commitment to providing great catering, whilst reducing the impact our service has on animal-wellbeing and the environ-
ment". Some students have commented that the spirit of the award, to recognise “commitment to improving the lives of animals”, runs contrary to some of the college’s activities, particularly in areas of biological research. Robert Pritchard, a third year student, said: “The fact that QM tests on animals in the School of Biological and Chemical Sciences surely negates any superficial changes that the catering department makes.” Over 60 % of eggs worldwide come from battery-farmed hens, with 55 % of UK sourced eggs coming from intensively farmed hens.
Emma Baker and Rik Husdan receive the award.
QM Press Office
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QMESSENGER MONDAY DECEMBER 5 2011
News
World cyber-crime on the increase nuclear facility by the Stuxnet virus. The origin of this virus is still unknown, but Dr. Walden thinks As the Leveson ‘hackgate’ Inquiry that “it could have been simply a continues, Professor Ian Walden, malicious hacker or a rogue state”. head of the Institute of ComputThe 2007 cyber-attack on Estoer and Communications Law at nia “seemed to originate from RusQueen Mary and Board Member of sia”, says Dr Walden. “However, I the Press Complaints Commission, think that it wasn’t organised by tells QMessenger how people are the government [yet] one could imbecoming increasingly vulnerable agine, in the future, states attackto cyber-crime. ing each other as acts of war, using “Cyberterrioism and cyber warcomputers and communications. fare is inevitable”, Dr Walden says, The legal implications of which de“as we become more and more depend on when do criminal activipendent on computers and comties become an act of war?”. munications technologies, it is inThe Computer Misuse Act of evitable that they will become a 1990 criminalises “unauthorised target of organised criminal gangs access to computers and unauthorand states that want to have an imised modification of computers”. pact on other states.” “The computer misuse act is clearly Dr. Walden points towards the relevant to phone hacking because, “consumerisation of computer by accessing somebody’s voicemail, hacking” as the main cause for the you’re accessing a computer withincrease in cyber-crime. The image out authority and that’s a criminal of the spotty teenager, trying out offence”. Unauthorised computer software in their parents’ house access can warrant a maximum jail is outdated. Back then, only those sentence of two years, unauthorwith sufficient knowledge about ised computer modification, five software knew how to exploit a sys- years. tem’s weaknesses; nowadays, passThe News of the World scandal word sniffing or keyboard logging of 2001 opened discussion about software is for sale on the net. what the Computer Misuse Act reExamples of cyber-terrorism ingards as computer equipment; it clude the targeting of an Iranian has been suggested that the so-
Alex Badrick
called smart phones are also included in that definition, given that they allow users to browse the net in a similar way a desktop computer does. Further to this possible amendment, Dr Walden thinks that the Act should also introduce a public interest defence: “If we believe journalism plays a fundamental role in a society, in terms of preserving freedom of expression and forth estate-type reasons, I think the Computer Misuse Act should perhaps consider the possibility of being amended to have a public interest defence.” One surprising application of the Computer Misuse Act regards the phenomenon of ‘frape’ (‘Facebook rape’), which Dr Walden believes could be potentially seen as a crime because the act is “quite broadly drafted”.“If you start using my Facebook page, then you’ve engaged in conduct which is criminalised”, although “you have to have intention to access, and you have to know that at the time you accessed it that that access was unauthorised”, he explained. However, these crimes are not prosecuted due to “failure to report it to the police, and the police haven’t got the resources to follow up.”
Ralph Lagner, pictured above, cracked the code of the Stuxnet worm. Image by Steve Jurvetson (via Flickr CC)
The planets explained by “excellent work” APPathon encourages student tech innovation Aamna Mohdin Work by US-based planetary scientist, David Nesvorný which provides an explanation for the stable configuration of planets seen today by using computer simulations to assert that a gas giant was kicked out of our early solar system, has been branded “excellent work” by a Queen Mary Professor. The Nice Model, named after its location on the Observatoire de la Côte d'Azur, suggests that planets must have started out much closer together and explains the effect of gravitational interactions between the large outer planets and smaller inner planets, a period also described as the "late heavy bombardment". Nesvorný first performed com-
puter simulations, varying the starting positions of the four gas giants, Neptune, Jupiter, Saturn and Uranus. Nesvorný was surprised that after running the computer simulation, one planet was always lost but with four planets, used by the system today, none of them are. "I kept running into problems,” Nesvorný told physicsworld.com. “I tried all sorts of initial conditions but still things didn't work." Nesvorný was forced to alter the model. Nesvorný added a 5th gas giant and ran the computer simulation again. "In all likelihood the outer solar system had more than four planets," Nesvorný says . "One got kicked out." The total mass of the planetesimals was varied between 10–100 Earth masses. The models then started to look familiar to our so-
‘In Saturn’s Shadow’ Image coutesy of NASA
lar system, at least 23 % of the time, which was a 10-fold increase on early solar systems containing only four outer planets. Dr Agnor, an expert from Queen Mary’s school of Physics and Astronomy, described the simulations as “excellent work.” He said: “Had someone suggested this 25 years ago, it would have been somewhat outside the mainstream. However, today there are a handful of free-floating planets that appear to have been ejected from their parent stars.” This five-planet scenario also helps to explain why the Earth is still here. The gravitational influence, if Jupiter migrated inwards, would have disturbed the stability of inner planets and Jupiter could have entered the danger zone. There is a possibility that the ejection of that fifth giant planet may be what spared the inner system — and our Earth — from complete destruction. Dr Agnor encourages more scientists to look into this phenomenon and said:: “How the planets formed and how that instability developed is something that really needs further study.” The paper, ‘Young Solar System's Fifth Giant Planet?’by Dr. David Nesvorny was published online by The Astrophysical Journal Letters.
Chris Smith Students from across the country took part in the competition APPathon to develop government statistics into apps useful to young people. The Silicon Valley Comes to the UK (SVC2UK) campaign ran the competition for British universities, where applicants were challenged to design student friendly applications. They were required to use information from data.gov. uk, with recognition for “the creative use of government data” that had “significant social and economic benefit”. Judged on six points and with eight winners announced on 16th November; there was a mix of web, iOS and android platforms submitted. A&Express (web) developed by a London group, allows patients to find the nearest hospital with the shortest waiting times. Patients can make a decision and provide a report on their experience including their waiting time. Winning applications of interest for QM students include Safe Trip (iOS) developed by Sheffield University. It uses police crime data to
plan safe walking directions. EyeSore (Android) allows concerned citizens to report local eyesores to their council. Developed by Edinburgh University, this could be easily used by Queen Mary students to identify areas of concern in Tower Hamlets. Wigutree (web) stands for ‘When Grow Up Tree’ and uses government advice to help provide career advice for school leavers or university students who still have no idea what to do. Lastly, PoliticsDirect (iOS) uses your location to inform you on local counsellors, MPs and MEPs. You can make informed decisions and engage with your community. The winners of the competition are featured in Free App Magic 2011 and received access to TechCity press event to showcase their application. SVC2UK is a non-profit series of industry supported events run by volunteers. The aim is to produce links between investors, entrepreneurs and ambitious students with Silicon Valley serial entrepreneurs. Rachael Young, a third year Biology student said: “I’m liking eyesore, as its less effort to use this app than contact the council directly and therefore more issues will be brought up from a larger range of people.”
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QMESSENGER MONDAY DECEMBER 5 2011
News
College concerned by controversial speaker » Debate postponed due to concerns over speaker
» Union to work with college on policy for events
Kaamil Ahmed A debate about the Arab Spring was postponed last week after the University voiced concerns about the speakers. The Ideological Society have been told that their event, a debate comparing the place of secular and Islamic law in Arab society after this year’s revolutions, will have to be reorganised because one of the speakers has been accused of extremism. Reza Pankhurst, who was supposed to argue that Islamic law has a part to play in the future of the Middle East, is thought to have been the focus of their worries. Essa Chaudhury, the president of the Ideological Society, said that the University would not give a solid reason as to why they were stopping the event from happening. “The Uni gave many many different reasons, when I spoke to the Students’ Union last week they said its too controversial, they said one of the speakers, or probably both of them, are extremists, they’ve been banned on campus before, there’s an article about them in the Guardian etc,” said Chaudhury. “They never had a story that was completely straight. They never went forward with one argument.” Dominic Bell, the Vice President of Student Activities for the Students’ Union said that the event had been cancelled for not being made within the College’s timeframe for events - though the organiser denied this. “The Student Union support the event. I believe the College also support the event. An invited speaker raised the alarm because
The event, originally organised for November 22, has now been postponed until December 13. Image courtesy of Ideological Society of their connection with Hizb utTahrir,” said Bell. “I’m at one with some of the views expressed at the last student council about freedom of speech. I believe that extremist views are best tackled through dialogue and debate and banning speakers leads to more difficult arguments to be had about where
we draw the line as well as sending things underground.” Reza Pankhurst has been accused of spreading extremist ideas in the past, though LSE - where he teaches - have supported him by denying these allegations. Chadhury also said that the University was contradicting some of
Mind the pay gap Jennifer Toes The average national wage has only risen by 0.4 % - the equivalent of £2 according to The Average Salaries Report for the year 2010-2011 released by The Office for National Statistic. The UK workforce currently comprises 12.8m males and 12.3m females, with 88 % of males and 58 % of females holding full-time jobs, respectively. The full-time weekly wage rose by 0.4 %, from £499 in 2010 to £501 in 2011, with men’s rising by 0.2 % to £529 and women’s rising 1.9 % to £445. The gender salary gap remains unequal, at around 19.5 %, even
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though women’s pay has increased almost ten times the amount men’s has in the past year. Women are still earning an average of £5,409 less than their male counterparts per year, in full-time employment. Closing the wage gender gap may not be achieved for another
Imperial College (£29.3k)
The society originally requested to hold the debate earlier in November but had not followed the correct booking procedures or given the required notice of the external speakers involved. The society subsequently met with Room Bookings to address this and the event has now been approved to go ahead on 13 December.” Professor Simon Gaskell, Principal of the University, was involved in the publication of a report in February, that warned universities in the UK of the need to balance the right to freedom of speech on campus against measures to prevent violent extremism. The report stated that both universities and governments have responsibility in tackling extremism but that governments should recognise the legal requirements of universities in relation to academic freedom of speech and that this should be reflected in government policy. The think tank, Quilliam, led by former Hizb-ut-Tahrir member Maajid Nawaz has in the past accused Islamic societies of extremism though Muslim students often feel they are misrepresented by the reports Quilliam release. Comments by external think tanks about invited speakers have led to cancellations in the past. Bell said that the Students’ Unions had specific ways to deal with the issue: “NUS have recommendations on dealing with issues around this and published a document earlier this year called ‘Managing the risks associated with external speakers’. We’ll be looking at this advice and working with the college to bolster the Union’s position as we’re potentially liable for student events in QMSU venues and off-campus.”
» ONS confirms women still paid less than men » Queen Mary ranked 8th for starting salaries
30 years if the growth of salaries continue at the current rate. Senior government officials are earning an average of £80,053, and the salaries of executives working for major organisations has increased by 15 % to an average of £112,157 per year. Second year Genetics student,
Top 10 Graduate Starting Salaries 1.
the statements it had previously made about issue of speaker on campuses. “The uni’s already made its position very clear in this, they’ve written a report where Professor Simon Gaskell has already represented Queen Mary under the Freedom of Speech Act for universities and they’ve said look, it is not for the SU or the university to stop these events or debates, in fact the SU and the uni should actually push these types of events.” Babatunde Williams, the chair of New Turn society which also organises regular speeches and debates at Queen Mary and throughout the University of London said that students should be supported in organising events. Williams said: “I don’t think any event on campus should be cancelled unless there’s a serious threat posed to students and the fact that the event is cancelled probably shows that the union and the university have an issue with the fact that students can go out on their own and create their own events. The moments you do that, you create a situation where students are less willing to do that. Ross Speer, an activist for the Socialist Workers Party said: “Extremism is an utterly subjective idea, it is not the universities place to pick and choose who can and cannot speak unless there is a proven danger to students and staff. The only group that we should advocate No Platforming is fascists, which is composed of a quite specific set of groups, and not for the abstract reason of ‘extremism’ but for the very real danger they pose through their antidemocratic, racist ideas.” A Queen Mary spokesperson said: “The event is going ahead.
Priyanka Bulsara, said: “The increase in average of salaries is great, especially in such dark times. But everything should be equal; being male or female shouldn't get in the way of the profession you want to pursue.” Wanda Canton, QMSU Women’s Officer, commented: “Due to
(to nearest £100)
5. Kings College London (£25.2k)
9. Bristol University (£23.4k)
2. LSE (£28.6k)
6. Warwick University (£24.7k)
10. Bath University (£23.3k)
3. University of Oxford (£26.7k)
7. UCL (£24.6k)
4. Cambridge University (£26k)
8. Queen Mary, UoL (£24.3k)
These averages are the ‘mean’, the total salary of all graduates divided by the number of graduates
the current pay gap, it takes female students a substantially longer time to repay their student debts, and as the tuition fees explode, so does the burden on female students.” All statistics are calculated using the median value, as exceedingly high salaries may alter any average mean salary calculated, giving the impression wages have risen much more than they have. The average graduate salary for a Queen Mary student however has risen 5 % over the last two years, currently standing at £24,310 according to figures published in the Sunday Times University Guide 2012. This places the institution 8th in the country for average graduate salaries.
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QMESSENGER MONDAY DECEMBER 5 2011
News
“Hands off our pensions” says N30 demo Continued from page 1 Mario Kyriacou, a UNISON steward for careers services said that the Government was not taking the demands of the unions seriously enough. “I object to the government’s proposals to change our pensions which is totally immoral, unjust,” said Kyriacou. “I certainly believe what my union has been telling me, as far as I’m aware they’ve been trying to renegotiate but the proposals have been meaningless, they’ve not really been consulting properly with the unions, that point’s been made clear on a number of occasions, I mean this is their opportunity to sit down and talk to the unions properly”. The march, which was attended by 20,000 people, went from Lincoln’s Inn Fields in Holborn to the rallying point in Embankment, where speakers called on the government scrap their planned reforms of pension schemes. One speaker said: “A fair pension for all is what we need and we need this government to be fair with people who show dedication and commitment to people in this country.” John Rimmer, President of NASUWT, a teachers’ union said: “Cameron, our message is clear.
You supported the Arab Spring and said the uprisings on the streets of Cairo should be listened to because so many took action. Well, there’s millions of us, your public, out on the streets today, standing up for their rights”. David Cameron said after the strikes that they were pointless and had not achieved anything while the controversial Top Gear presenter, Jeremy Clarkson caused anger when he suggested N30 strikers should be shot in front of their families. The comment, made on the BBC’s The One Show, was meant a humorous comment, attempting to balance with his previous message regarding benefits of the strike by “clearing” the roads.
N30 Numbers - 2m striking public sector workers. - 8,500 schools affected - 21 arrests - NUT reports 2,000 members on strike in East London Over 100 students and staff from Queen Mary joined the picket lines around the university on November 30 before proceeding to the march through central London Images by Michael Brown and Lloyd Ramos
OccupyLSX make their own N30 statement at Panton Street Kaamil Ahmed
The red flame that led the protesters into Panton Street prompted a quick response from the police Images by Kaamil Ahmed and Matthew TK Taylor
Protesters from the Occupy London movement stormed the building of a FTSE 100 company last Wednesday in an attempted occupation that coincided with public sector strikes on the same day. About two hundred protesters gathered at Picadilly Square after the OccupyLSX twitter account told people to gather there at 3pm an join in with an alternative action, as the official November 30th rally was winding down. Minutes after the same twitter account posted a mysterious message saying “Be Ready”, a sudden rush from Picadilly Circus to Panton Street began, led by SOAS Samba band and an individual holding a red flare - which was later thrown into Panton House. A banner that read “All power to the 99%” was unfurled by the 40 protesters who charged to the top of the building. On the ground, protesters were keen on gaining the public support and started interacting with those drivers whose transit they had stopped. One of these drivers expressed their anger by leaving their vehicle and attempting to hit a protester while shouting “who do
you think you are?”. The secretive nature of the event publicised on twitter, as well as the cryptive messages passed among the crowd at Piccadilly Circus, meant that the many of the protesters, who were kettled by the police soon after the attempted occupation began, did not know why that particular building had been targeted. “I’m here because if we don’t do anything, we’re going to ruin everything for the next generation. They will have no jobs, they will have no houses, they will fall into more and more rioting,” said one of the protesters. “Their world is falling apart, our world is falling apart, the old people are happy they have houses and money, they don’t care.” The OccupyLSX twitter account later confirmed that they had targeted mining group, Xstrata. It said the occupation “targets overpaid boss of Xstrata. Why, that wouldn't be Mick Davies head of the UJIA would it? Why, yes it would.” Inside the kettle protesters challenged two undercover police officers who were forced to walk begind the police line. OccupyLSX are planning further civil action for December the 15th under the mantra of “Occupy Everywhere”.
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QMESSENGER MONDAY DECEMBER 5 2011
Newsfocus
QM social innovators beat 200 companies to super computer
Chatterbox is a social analytics company finds the signals through the noise.
Matthew TK Taylor Frank Eliason may not be a name you recognise, but for corporate customer-care, he’s a pioneer on the same level as Alan Turing, arguably the most influential man in the development of computer science. In March 2008 Eliason was working for the United States’ largest cable operator Comcast, when he suggested that they use the relatively new social microblogging service Twitter to communicate with customers. @ ComcastCares now has 54,000 followers, almost as many tweets, and the process for communicating with users via these new public networks became the new CRM (customer relationship management) craze. Tesco was the first UK company to experiment with the service, but now it’s ubiquitous from British Telecom to Virgin Trains, all providing a level of service and immediacy beyond
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that of long phone queues and robotic replies to email. However, as Twitter has grown, so have the teams required to keep a hold on the ever-increasing volume of chatter. With just 3.5 million Twitter users at the time of @ ComcastCares’ inception, the team has had to expand to five people as the service itself exploded to over 380 million people, posting 300 million snippets of content every day. The constant noise of social networking has become a nightmare for brands to navigate customer feedback and control their image online. If Google have 358,000 mentions in an average 24hr period, how are they to know what is good or bad? “A lot of companies attempt to do this by defining a list of words; it doesn’t work”, Stuart Battersby, a PhD graduate from Queen Mary tells me, “we’re looking at it differently”. His company, Chatterbox Analytics, was founded from his work into communication and
human interaction, and looks at the vast corpus of data produced every day from social networking in order to analyse user sentiment towards clients. “If you look through our system you’ll see that McDonalds had 94,000 references in that last 24hrs, you can’t reply to that number of people”. Battersby, along with his cofounder Matthew Purver, has created a series of complex algorithms that analyse the emotion behind tweets and status updates. “We essentially do assign numbers to words, but in a better way”, says Battersby. The system takes a small segment of data and does high-level processing on it based on prior data and its understanding of semantics. This allows the computer to handle slang, hashtags and emoticons unlike traditional wordlists, which do not account well for linguistic variation. Multiple languages are also possible with this tool: where previously multiple native speak-
ers would have to analyse datasets, here the computer can gain an aptitude over time from relatively little input. “We don’t look at follower counts”, says Battersby, “they’re a static number, if nobody replies to the tweet then it has no more value to us”. He explains how the tool is integrated specifically into conversation, looking for users that generate a large volume of discourse on a topic and prioritising their sentiment. Companies can thereby more effectively target users that may present a problem for their image, or encourage those that generate positive reactions to share more. Chatterbox recently finished as a top 20 finalist in a competition consisting of over 200 start-up technology companies in ‘Tech City’, the self proclaimed “digital capital of Europe”. Part of the prize gives them access to a super-powerful computing cluster donated by Intel of 2.25 tera-
Image courtesy of Chatterbox Analytics. flops, over 220,000 times more powerful than today’s desktop computer. A spokesperson for Intel noted, “companies are demanding more and more computing power, this facility will enable young companies to get a competitive edge in the market by testing real world scenarios and developing new products faster”. “It’s really helpful for us”, said Battersby, who is excited to utilise the cluster to deliver more accurate results and get an edge over competition. The company currently utilise Twitter’s API (application programming interface) to pull information, but soon hope to also integrate with Facebook’s social graph and the Chinese social networking hybrid Weibo, which boasts 250 million users. The company will launch into an extensive beta with media partners early next year where they hope to refine their algorithms before transitioning to a multi-tiered payment model in mid 2012.
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QMESSENGER MONDAY 5 DECEMBER 2011
Comment
The Great Debate A Dangerous Idea John Milton, contrary to popular belief, did not do much for freedom of the press. Nor did his famous tract Areopagitica make much of a case for free expression. That he was wrong, however, should have little bearing on us today. Those who defend bans on public speakers, and indeed on writers, stand their argument on a single foundation. Some ideas, they say, are just too dangerous. None should deny the importance of courtesy, of mutual respect, and of accepting that words do, occasionally, have consequences. But to step across the wide chasm between respect and repression is to step into another kind of abyss. If we surrender the right to voice any thought without fear of state reprisals, or institutional ostracism, we throw away a pearl richer than all our tribe. At Universities, this is more important than ever. If the academy is not a place for free debate, on any and all issues, it is nothing. That a speaker at this University can be judged an ‘extremist’, and cast into oblivion, is an offence to all that we should hold dear.
To Do What You Do Not Wish To This newspaper has twice been publicly accused of being obsessed with writing about cuts and riots. Even though it is true that we have covered these topics extensively, we’ve only reported on them when we deem them relevant to QM students. The strike of November 30th is one of those occasions. Why? We’re glad you ask. Unlike in other marches, our reporters came across a considerable amount of people who didn’t actually want to strike; they’d only came out to march because they deeply dislike the current government policy. If we ignore that second bit, this feeling resembles the comments heard around campus in the build up to November 30th: the vast majoyity of students did not want to strike and were more than happy to cross the picket lines. Their excuse was the good old “this is not going to make a difference” mixed in with our generation’s favourite “it’s not my problem attitude”. Can they [we] be blamed? Of course not. Their argument is as valid as the other side’s, who think that, until the government listens, we simply need to shout louder. However, real change will only happen if, like the teachers who didn’t want to strike but did, we all come together to share the same message.
Should students have a role in the occupations?
Yes Mike Brown The life of a student is a weird one. A lot of us have a low amount of contact hours, we’re given a loan to live off, and beyond handing in assignments there’s not a whole lot of responsibility. The timing is perfect to get involved in other projects. The few years you spend at university will teach you things both inside and outside of your course. Growing accustomed to a new environment and exploring are both vital to the university experience. It’s about going along to that feminism lecture, taking a vote in the Course Representative elections, turning up to that society meetup, and joining that group you’re interested in. Our time here has collided with several groundbreaking events. The tuition fee rise saw schools around the country mobilized, the Arab Spring has brought fourth many interesting speakers at the University of London, and even non-political changes like the 2012 Olympics have provided opportunities to be proactive. The fact that you’re able to take a 15 minute tube journey and meet up with the Occupy movement is incredible. There’s a controversial movement happening right on your doorstep! Even if you’re on the fence about whether you support them, why you wouldn’t go down there to experience the news first hand is beyond me. Sure, you can sit in your room and read about it on your laptop, or you can go down there and get reports directly from the people involved. Cut out the middle man and talk to the faces behind the story. The Occupy movement is crying out for support. I went down there a few weeks ago and they were so grateful for us just giv-
ing them a few sandwiches. An evening meeting brought forth a few groups seeking volunteers, all of which were friendly and approachable. Not many people are fortunate enough to be able to help out, so they’re incredibly grateful for anyone that does. Even if you’re not passionate about the protest, there’s other ways to get involved. The sit-in attracts representatives from all sorts of groups, all looking for volunteers to help support their cause. You might just find a cause in dying need of your support that you’re willing to jump in and sign up for. St Paul’s has become a melting pot for social change, an army welcoming new recruits with open arms. At this point in your life you’ve got this great opportunity to do some interesting volunteer work. It’s all about getting into the mindset. Be a part of the Occupy movement and you’ll encourage yourself to join up with other projects. There’s nothing to lose by helping out in your community. When you read about the Occupy movements you’re reading about people sacrificing their time for something they believe in. To bring about change they need people like that to support them. The whole movement depends on individuals able to help standing up and saying “I support your cause”. Students, living in this rare bubble of opportunity, are the few people who can bring about this social change. If you’re willing and able, aren’t you hurting the movement by not doing something? You’re in one of the most powerful cities in the world for only a few years. Make the most of it. Mike Brown is a second year English Literature student and a member of the Nordic society.
Cartoon by Maria D’Amico
No Ryan Henson Like most people, I originally felt some sympathy towards some of the aims proposed by those taking part in the occupations. And naturally, like every Conservative, I fully support and defend everyone’s right to protest – as long as it doesn’t infringe the rights of others. The trouble is, the occupiers have picked the wrong target. Of course the bankers had a part in helping to create the economic mess we find ourselves in, but the previous Labour government did far worse. Liam Byrne, former Chief Secretary to the Treasury, famously left a note for his successor after Labour lost the last election, observing: “there’s no money left.” Labour’s legacy to the British people, ladies and gentlemen. Labour failed to regulate the banks during 13 years in power. They also spent £4 billion a year paying people not to work – during a time of economic growth! Labour doubled the deficit, tripled the national debt and sold off Britain’s gold reserves. Labour spent money we didn’t have, on things we didn’t need, and yet still won’t apologise for causing the mess the Coalition has been elected to sort out. It’s true of course that some bankers bonuses are obscene. Furthermore, it goes without saying that any bank bailed out by the taxpayer should certainly not be paying its employees large salaries until every penny of our cash has been paid back. But let’s not forget that the City of London brings in £52 billion a year in tax revenues. That’s a lot of schools and hospitals. Of course the bankers should pay their fair share, but taxing people into oblivion is immoral and nothing short of theft. As the world’s greatest economist, Friedrich Hayek, once famously argued, “A claim for equality of
material possession can be met only by a government with totalitarian powers.” And that’s certainly not a path anyone should wish to go down. The Occupy protesters have so far forced the resignations of three senior clergymen. Absurdly, all three professed to support the protesters camped on their doorstep. The Occupiers have picked the wrong target. Instead of harassing vicars, they should be banging down the gates of Parliament and confronting Balls, Brown and Miliband; those truly responsible for the economic mess we’re in. The Occupy movement has another flaw too. As is often the case, the original message, one I think most of us would all broadly support, has been hijacked by those desperate for a cross to bear. With no Vietnam or civil rights movement to latch on to - genuine reasons for protest - the Occupy movement has attracted the professional protester; anti-Tory, anti-capitalist, anti-common sense. If students want to do something about economic inequality, then they should, actually, do something. Pitching a tent outside St Pauls wont change a thing. Rather, it will reinforce stereotypes – for which the NUS must accept much of the blame – about ‘lazy’ students; naïve and hopelessly left-wing, too foolish to see the bigger picture. And finally, I know its tempting to hate the rich. But without these wealth creators in the financial sector there would be even fewer jobs, even higher tuition fees and certainly far less left-wing lecturers around to educate us. Yes, lets change the world, but lets make sure we pick the right target first. Ryan Henson is a second year History student and the Vice President of the Conserative.
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QMESSENGER MONDAY DECEMBER 5 2011
Comment
Lib Dems: the original centrists
Despite their differences and hypocracies the Liberals still, fundamentally, believe in something.
Ruth Irwin I’m a Liberal. I believe in capitalism with limits. In a caring and responsible welfare state, where people are helped to help themselves, not dumped into Labour’s legacy of spiritsapping welfare dependency or subjected to Thatcherite punishment for their poverty. I’m a Liberal, so I believe in balance. In freedom of speech, movement and thought. In protecting minorities without penalising the rest. In trying to make society better not just for the rich or the poor, but for everyone. In free markets and free minds. Cuddly capitalism of a sort that has disappeared from our vicious corporate economy. Sounds perfect, doesn’t it? But, you might ask, isn’t this sort of centrism what the other parties other than the Liberal Democrats believe in, too? What is the real difference between Milliband, Cameron and Clegg? Today our politicians seem to look the same, sound the same, think the same. They are the same age, class and sex. They went to the same schools and universities. And they all, even the Lib Dems, appear to have only one objective and and motivation: the acquisition and retention of power. Increasingly, ideological differences between the parties seem minimal, almost non-existent. Inspired by Bill Clinton’s winning presidential cam-
paign of 1992 (which both Blair and Brown worked on), the last 20 years have seen British politics slide into a morally empty, cynical slalom race for the centre-ground. By the 1990s our parents were becoming bored of the old two-party politics, of a leftversus-right dispute that seemed irrelevant: a faintly nostalgic, outworn passtime like test cricket or the Cold War. In came Blair with the shiny new politics of consensus. New Labour. New beginnings. A new start for Britain. Well we all know it didn’t quite work out like that. Blair and Brown removed the left-wing, union core of Labour politics and replaced it with... nothing. A sparkly silver, ‘cool-Brit-
ly expressed discontent from significant numbers of his own MPs and a million of us marching through the streets of London shouting “not in my name” made not a jot of difference, and the only politicians with enough balls to stand up to him publicly were Robin Cook, who lost his job, and our old friends the Liberal democrats, who were – as usual - ignored. Today many dismiss Blair as an anomaly. One power-crazed man with no convictions, a blip to be overcome. As the present government never tire of telling us, now is the time to ‘clear up Labour’s mess’. The problem for the government is that economically this is Thatcher’s mess and morally the damage may be too severe to be undone. It was Thatcher and Major who began deregulation of the banks; New Labour simply continued it. The true legacy of the last administration is the even more extreme moral bankruptcy of the current one. Blair begat Cameron just as Thatcher begat Blair. The deregulation of the city and the breaking of the unions made the old politics untania’ void of spin and magic mist. playable. The only way to get back into power There was no longer any ideological or moral foundation for government. was to create New Labour, and once The only motivation left was power. the old left had claimed the centre Personal power, to be weilded by an ground, the Tories could only come to ever-smaller inner sanctum, until we power by running there themselves. reach the stage in 2003 where the de- Poor Lib Dems. For almost a century cision to join George W Bush’s war in they had cowered in no-man’s-land, Iraq is made by Tony Blair alone on a a stranded centrist irrelevance in the Downing Street sofa. Where private- eternal war of left and right.
politics “British has slid into
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a morally emptiness.
”
Image by World Economic Forum (via Flickr CC)
Now that the time of the centrist has come, they are still stuck. Mired in conscientious internal divisions and held to promises they could never have hoped to keep. When Lib Dem candidates signed that now infamous pledge against raising tuition fees, I firmly believe they did so in good faith. Most Lib Dems believe in free education, and voted against the initial introduction of fees under Blair.
haven’t run “They to centre ground it’s where they belong.
”
where they belong. Sadly ‘Cleggmania’ was swiftly followed by two losses of nerve. First the electorate buckled. Contrary to poll predictions, the Lib Dems lost seats in 2010. Though in fact their share of the vote actually increased - but that’s a whole other article. Secondly, when given power, Clegg and co failed to sell themselves effectively. They have in fact done a creditable amount to mitigate Conservative policy towards Europe, benefit cuts, pupil premiums etc. The pathetic truth is, that in this twisted system the Lib Dems are simply not shitty enough to win. They – I should say ‘we’, because I have interned for them – have been irrelevant for 60 years. The post cold-war politics of centrism and consensus has given us relevance again. Ideologically, liberalism has never been more acceptable to the electorate. And yet, and yet, it seems that eighty years in opposition do not make a party of leadership. So now we have reached the point where our Prime Minister is the Etoneducated 5th cousin of the Queen and a PR man. A Frankenstein’s monster, stiched together from fragments of the old and new elites. Soulless, presentable and built to rule. Aren’t you happy to live in this great and mighty democracy?
The problem was, they were so used to standing on the side-lines, shouting righteous abuse at the powerful, that none of them seriously thought they’d have to defend their manifesto in government. Remember, until the first TV debate, Cameron had a comfortable lead in the 2010 election campaign, and was heading for a definite majority. When people saw Nick Clegg and heard what he had to say, the mood shifted. People began to see the difference between the Lib Dems and everybody else. Despite their differences and hypocracies Liberals still, funda- Ruth Irwin is a first year English and mentally, believe in something. They History student and a member of haven’t run to the centre ground, it’s Amnesty International Society.
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QMESSENGER MONDAY DECEMBER 5 2011
Comment ‘Thank you for life’: the great importance of organ donation ‘Thank you for life’. This statement couldn’t be any simpler, but its meaning is profound. Every day, three people die on the organ waiting list, that’s twenty one people a week. As you read this article, one of those people may well have lost their lives. It’s all too easy to dismiss statistics as mere numbers and forget the human implications, but these are real people. A parent and provider lost for a family; a close friend who will never return; a child unable to fulfill its potential. A few weeks ago I attended a meeting at the Royal Free Hospital in Hampstead which was organised to allow organ recipients
to exchange their views and air their opinions to consultants and surgeons in the transplant field. As someone with no experience with transplantation, the day opened my eyes to the impor-
woman “ One shook with
emotion as she spoke about her experience
“
Kashmira Gander
tance and significance of this service. Some of the most passionate speakers I have ever seen were organ transplant patients, a testament not only to the success of
transplants, but how strongly recipients feel about the cause. One woman shook with emotion as she spoke about her experience, another has now devoted his time to helping patients through an often extremely difficult and frightening time. As a bystander, what struck me most about was how far we still have to go in educating people so they understand how organ donation literally is the gift of life. When a person dies, members of the NHS Blood and Transplant (NHS BT) service work extremely closely with families to ensure the wishes of the patient and their close family are respected, with a focus on carrying out the patient’s wishes. If the situation of death is deemed inappropriate, families
will not be approached. Time is spent thoroughly explaining how organs and tissue will be used, allowing families to decide individually what they are comfortable with. I totally admire and commend the hard work of NHS BT, a job which is unimaginably difficult to undertake day after day, let alone successfully. However, this procedure would be made easier if more of us signed up to the Organ Donor Register. Only 29% of us have, and I can understand any doubts. Despite my experience, I still haven’t signed up to the Organ Donor Register. It feels as if it a huge decision to make, but it shouldn’t be. With education, more publicity and word of mouth, we can help eradicate that dull feeling
you get in your stomach when you think about someone having your heart in their body. That thought shouldn’t inspire horror, but absolute pride at having taken the opportunity to immeasurably change a person’s life. There is also no major religious or ethical group that opposes organ donation so it is open to everyone. It is hard to see it as anything but the ultimate selfless gesture. Therefore, when I finish this article I will take a deep breath and sign up. If you would like proof, email:comment@qmessenger. co.uk. I hope you will join me.
Kashmira Gander is a second year English Literature student and the co-editor of QMessenger Comment section.
My racist tram experience: Irresponsible, right-wing and pig-headed: sad yet utterly fascinating the extreme views of some C words By now, we’ve probably all seen the ‘My Tram Experience’ video. I saw it on Monday afternoon, the day after it was posted; roughly ten thousand people had watched it. By Monday night, that number was over two million. There’s something still inherently fascinating about closeminded racism, especially today when the majority of the population are tolerant acceptors of every creed and colour. My initial reactions after watching were shock and awe; Oh, the audacity! Oh, the ignorance! I watched it again, I had to, and I was still struggling to come to terms with the fact that this had occurred so publicly. The more I watched, the less I understood. I mean it was clear that this woman was intoxicated in some way shape or form; the slurred speech, the constant chewing of the gums, the way she accuses them of all being from ‘Siberrr… nigwagwa’ – that didn’t excuse her from her actions though. It only made it worse in fact, considering there’s an innocent looking child sitting on her knee. What kind of environment is he being raised in? How can we expect him to have an unprejudiced outlook on life when his mothers a raving racist? I continued to watch, and once again I was struck by the amount of people who didn’t say anything at all to her – that was left to two brave women, one black, one white who stood up for decency while the rest of the carriage stood in complete silence. We all tend to recline into a bubble on public transport, but that’s usually to escape the crush that’s
inevitable at five in the afternoon on a Monday morning, it shouldn’t Séan Richardson be the same when someone is so Ruth Irwin blatantly defiling what we as the modern public hold to be true val- Jeremy Clarkson thinks we should be ues. shot. David Cameron thinks we are a However, I have to take a mo- “damp squib.” Our view of Wednesment to show some respect to the day’s strike however couldn’t be more kid sitting behind our racist who different, from the inside, the protest at 1:10 throws off his shoulder bag represented the very best of British and looks as though he’s about contemporary culture; democracy to come down hard on this wom- and diversity in action. Despite the an before being tamed by his girl cold morning lecturers and students who proceeds to sit on his lap and joined together to represent their hug him. Either way he’s won be- views on the government’s latest procause now he looks hard in front posed cuts to public sector pensions. of millions of people. Sadly though, Judging by the number of car horns that’s the only redeeming feature sounding on the Mile End Road the of this video. wider public too was on side. The rest of it exemplifies the This positive QM presence extendpainful ignorance of certain mem- ed to the subsequent march, with stubers of the British public. Sadder dents, staff and societies turning out still is that Emma West (our tram to show their support by joining the demonstration. Stepping off the tube at Holborn and joining the already thronging mass of protesters traditional British reserve disappeared, with strangers’ support for the cause joining them together, creating a celebratory atmosphere. This positivity, continuing throughout the day, was a welcome change from the anger of the Many view the November 30th strikes as a success, despite Clarkson’s student riots last winter and August’s comments. Image by Lloyd Ramos social unrest. As bands drummed up support and “solidaritea” was hand- who took part should be “executed society functioning. These workers ed out, those from the public sector in front of their families.” Obvious- are crucial to everyday society and to took to the streets to show their deri- ly nurses, teachers and school dinner the success of the upcoming Olymracist) is not the ‘only racist in sion for the proposed cuts. ladies should feel ashamed of them- pics. Vigorous peaceful protest is the Britain!’ – her actions show that Nevertheless, this peaceful and selves, in comparison to one who correct way forward but it must be people still think this is an accept- large scale demonstration was not earns such a pitiful wage as Clarkson sustained over the coming months able way of thinking. welcomed by all. Even though David yearly takings. Crashing cars on TV through further strikes in order to reThere may well be a lot of things Cameron was forced to admit that the much more valuable to society than ally take effect. The day was an inspirwrong with this country, but race action was “obviously a big strike” – in running a school or hospital. ing show of unity and passion, estabisn’t one of them. In fact, multicul- fact the biggest union demonstration The question now is where to go lishing a start for future action. Most turalism is what keeps this country in over two decades – he still branded from here. Hopefully more protests importantly of all however I still have alive and we should fight to main- it as ineffectual. The violence of pre- will occur, continuing to overshadow my cup of solidaritea. tain that. vious demonstrations gave the gov- the carnage of last year’s riots. With ernment the excuse to demonise all continued action and public sector Séan Richardson is a first year English LiteraAlex Sarychkin is a second year English those with concerns as opposed to di- strikes greater pressure will be put ture student; Ruth Irwin is a first year English LIterature student and the co-founder rectly addressing the issues. Clark- on the government to reconsider and Literature student and a member of the Queen of Diverge. son shares this claiming that all those respect the rights of those who keep Mary Amnesty International Society.
video “ The exemplifies the
painful ignorance of certain members of the public
“
Alex Sarychkin
comment@qmessenger.co.uk
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QMESSENGER MONDAY DECEMBER 5 2011
Comment Queen Mary needs to start doing more for its Postgraduate students Sophie Richardson President
Postgraduate students make up a third of our students here at QMUL, an unknown fact for many of our students. Since they are such a large part of our student population, QMSU has made a concerted effort this year to engage more with both Postgraduate Taught and Postgraduate Research students. Last academic year, Student Council passed a motion to support the Postgraduate Employment Charter that NUS (National Union of Students) put together. The doc-
ument highlights some important points when Postgraduates work for the institution they are studying at and it was partly due to the support of this document that I realised we needed to start doing more for Postgraduate students. After the huge success of the Postgraduate night in Freshers Fortnight, we are now holding a Postgraduate Quiz Night in Drapers Bar, tonight from 6pm onwards. The winning team will receive a cash prize of
£40, with a runners’ up prize of £20. However, the point of the event isn’t just to bring Postgraduates together for a social, fun event, it’s also about me and the Union having the opportunity to engage with and talk to Postgraduates from across the University and gain feedback on issues and challenges being faced after the first semester of 2011-2012. It’s important that while QMSU provides opportunities for socialising and meeting new people, we also ensure we are
listening to our students, particularly the often forgotten third… Postgraduates. So if you are a Postgraduate student and would like to meet others, or have a Postgraduate quiz team already in mind, then come down to Drapers at 6pm tonight for some end of semester celebrations! T’rah for now, Sophie @PresidentQMSU
National ideas may be good, but we need to make sure they work for us George Ryan BLSA President
Last weekend Birmingham hosted the National Medsoc Conference, an event which saw medical Students’ Unions from all corners of the United Kingdom descend in flocks upon Birmingham Medical School for a weekend of key note speakers, hot debates and some good old-fashioned debauchery. What fun! One topic of conversation was the movements towards implementing a national exam for all fi-
nal year university students, something the audience of medical representatives were unanimously and enthusiastically in favour of. The premise is a good one; results will provide medical schools with an academic comparison to all others in the entire country, something that will only help drive standards up of teaching in all medical schools, something that is certainly considered desirable .
However, the practicalities have not yet been ironed out, an important step before schools will agree to be involved in the process. Barts and The London School of Medicine and Dentistry is one of thirteen schools involved in the development of this potential exam. The first set of questions which could make their way into the exam were released to all thirteen schools and the overriding feeling from Barts and The Lon-
don School of Medicine and Dentistry is that these questions were below the standard we set for our final year students. Agreeing to take part in the process as it is would only lower the academic standard of our students. The committee will have to rethink their strategy and devise a more challenging set of questions if they are to entice Barts and The London School of Medicine and Dentistry into the national exam.
It’s healthy to challenge students in debates with controversial speakers Dom Bell VP Student Activities
I think over the course of this term of events that is pushing QMSU Society have invited a speaker asthere’s been quite a lot of chat- to look into these issues: Qmes- sociated with Hizb ut-Tahrir and ter about extremist speakers and senger published earlier this year Atheism Society has invited Anneevents on campus, about students on its front page ‘Exiled Ribal al- Marie Waters from the ex-Muslim inviting high profile speakers and Assad speaks at Queen Mary’ - the Council to talk about Sharia Law causing security concerns. cousin of alleged war criminal Syr- and Human Rights. Despite the tone and context ian President. In other words, I’m having to of the opening remarks I actualAt the last student council a mo- pay more attention to safeguardly think it’s generally a good and tion was brought forward to intro- ing society events and safeguardhealthy thing that we’re being duce a no-platform policy on fas- ing the integrity of the Union. challenged. cists. In addition to this, in the last Not that I can really say no to Just to summarise the series couple of weeks, the Ideological any of these bookings because we
haven’t got a policy on it except for a code of practice on freedom of speech which we share with the College. Having said that I side with open debate, freedom of speech, and students standing up for themselves and taking on these big issues. Speak to you soon, Dom
The SU should submit to an internal review process like QM departments Oscar Williamson VP Education & Welfare
Each QM department undergoes an internal review every five years. The department submits an often lengthy document outlining their structure, activities, and plans for the future, and a panel is convened to conduct a day of interviews with staff and students. At the end, the panel – usually two externals, some college bigwigs and one or two Sabbaticals – produces 6 or 7 commendations and an (at times blatantly euphemistic) list of
recommendations. I’ve done two of these this year; one at the Learning Institute a couple of months ago and then the first session of a multi-part review of the School of Medicine and Dentistry yesterday. The panel sifted through the material and submitted questions to the chair in advance. These were arranged thematically, and a cross-section of staff was then wheeled out to respond. The process seems effec-
tive. The externals pick up on things isation to do it either. Unis do them that might seem normal to those im- for each other: so could unions. The mersed in the university but make no panel should be made up of a couple sense to outsiders. The college people of students who have little to do with spot inconsistencies between the de- the union, and some true externals: partment and internal expectations perhaps from another institution, and best practice. The Sabbs high- someone from the hospitality or relight issues that impact especially tail industry, and someone from the on students. I think SUs should sub- 3rd sector. It would do us good to promit to similar processes. We certain- duce a document explaining what we ly don’t want the university doing it, do, and then explain it to people who but we don’t need an external organ- are outside the union bubble.
Our lecturers deserve our support, sympathy and, dare I say it, solidarity Sam Creighton VP Communications
I never wanted to be one of those people who could wake up at 6am and not feel tierd. Morning should be a screechy train pulling out of a station, not some well-oiled routine. Yet, it seems that that is exactly what I have become. On November 30, not only was I awake at 6am, but by 6.45 I was standing outside the East Gate, bright eyed and bushy tailed as the first person on the main QM picket line.
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I won’t lie about my motivations, if I wasn’t democratically mandated as a Sabb to be there I probably wouldn’t have been, but I honestly would have missed out. I never thought I would enjoy it, but I did have fun, feel like I was contributing to a worthwhile cause that I believe in and even felt a little spark of joy every time we managed to convince a student, a staff member or even a delivery person to turn around or join our ranks and not
cross the picket line. For those of you who weren’t there Over 100 people were on the pick- I would urge you to make a different ets around QM, the majority of whom choice next time round, and I’m more were students and this makes me than certain that there will be a next proud. I’m proud of those who were time. Our lecturers deserve our supthere, but even more so of those who port, our sympathy and, dare I use made it happen, committed cam- this increasingly tainted word, our paigners like Ozzy Amir and Ross solidarity. Speer and anyone else who braved It wouldn’t be a Sam Creighton colthe wind, rain and general disdain umn without a pun, so: On November one can be subjected to when flyering 30 I was glad to see QM come togethin Library Square. er to strike back...
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QMESSENGER MONDAY DECEMBER 5 2011
Satire All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Please don’t mistake anything on this page for fact.
Merry Cutsmas Image by Fetta Goodand
Caroline Walker As the recession continues to cause financial insecurity around the world, Greenland are facing one of their tightest Christmases ever. Forty percent of the elf workforce was recently made redundant as Mr Claus realised Christmas was not sustainable at its current cost. Mr Claus claimed he was saddened by the redundancies but argued they were necessary for his non-profit organisation to remain afloat. Logistically, these cuts mean that this Christmas will see each good child only receiving one present and each naughty child receiving elf poo to save on the cost of coal. Stating “I have found elf alternatives who are willing to work for a much more reasonable price”, Mr Claus confirmed that the production lines have relocated from Greenland to Taiwan for the Christmas toys of 2011. “This year’s toys may not be of the same standard, as they are not made by elves, but most of the children working on this year’s production are the same size as elves, and I think that’s close enough.” The elves began protesting after being made redundant for refusing to accept frozen wages and reduced hours. The picture on the picket line turned ugly when Comet, the reindeer, became a target for the elves. Galloping into a friend’s igloo, Comet was accosted by the protesters who threw snowballs at his sleigh. Caught
in the crowds, he was obliged to wait until protection could be sought for his safe transfer back to the Claus Palace where a source described him as “badly shaken” by the event. One protesting elf defended their actions, commenting “by making us redundant Mr Claus has left us with no options, I have a family to feed and rent to pay, Christmas is a massive industry in Greenland and without a job it’s almost impossible to get by.” Another victim of the austerity measures explained how “things are so bad right now that I’m using my skills as a Christmas elf to carve ice into food shapes, we colour them with crayons and pretend we’re eating dinner.” Controversy broke out when it was revealed that, despite massive cuts and redundancies, Mr Claus would still be receiving a bonus this year. He justified his claims by arguing that the pressure of his celebrity status and the nutritional requirements of the role (mince pies at every house etc.) meant that the cost of his health bills would be significant and, while production on toys may be diminished, his high profile role meant he must be as dedicated to this Christmas as any other. When asked for a final comment on whether he thought demonstrations of discontent such as those recently seen spreading through London could now happen in Greenland, Mr Claus cheekily responded “Ho, ho, ho, of course not, you can’t set an igloo on fire!”
My Aching Heart Image by Carlos
Leif Halverson I guess you could say I’ve lived a fairly normal life so far. I had warts on my hands just like everybody else, smelt of BO, had acne, and have a tiny penis. Pretty regu-
satire@qmessenger.co.uk
lar stuff. Now I’ve got a job in selling property shares in Madeira. Things are going grand, I make a decent wage, get massive bonuses, which I usually spend on Domino’s Pizza or bottles of Pepsi from Tesco. I used to collect Pokémon cards and trade them in the school yard
Take it all with a pinch of salt!
News In Briefs
Denise is looking forward to spending time with family over the holiday season. She said, “My multiple miscarries have destroyed my relationship with my husband.”
Rob Jopson The diary of the head of the National Salt Reserve March- Not much snow and ice around, nothing really to do. April- Bored. May- Still Bored. June- Icelandic volcano erupting; talked to Mr Cameron turns out this is a national emergency but not a salt related one. July- Very bored, decided to start counting the salt. August- Ennui. Also bought a thesaurus to help tackle boredom. September- Finished counting the salt, we have lots. October-Got excited at a newspaper headline which said salt linked to cancer, turns out this is not in our remit. November- SNOW AND ICE! ICE AND SNOW! Sent salt everywhere, roads are all clear now. Job well done. December- Snow and ice everywhere again... no salt. January- Still icy, still snowy, still no salt, starting to feel like a failure. I might just end it all... February- (Blank)
Image by Zebranete
Timesaver of the week
Quote of the Week
Harry Potter’s parents are killed by an evil wizard at the start. Seven books later he kills the evil wizard. He also makes friends with a Ginger and Emma Watson. I would love to smash Emma Watson.
“A new report has shown that inclement weather makes it more likely that people will fog-et things but does make life a little more mist-erious”
Aaron Barber with people in Year 7 when I was in Year 11 and people laughed at me for this. They never thought I’d be the one laughing at them, now I see them working at Sports Direct with unfulfilled and unhappy, pathetic lives and it makes me piss my pants. Occasionally I like to go to Poundland or Sports Direct and stroll the aisles, just waiting for one of those playground pricks to notice me. Whenever they do, I see that look in their eye, that look of shame. That look of disenfranchisement, guilt and fear. If only I felt sorry for them. They should never have sent that photograph of me masturbating in the sports hall toilets to my mum and dad. I waited on the high street in the 1992 Nissan Micra that I’d bought off some gay fella on Gumtree. He seemed nice enough. It was dark, the
Sam Creighton - Met office spokesperson
streetlights had been on for a good hour or so now. The tarmac was shiny with the drizzle that had been hazing the whole town for the past fortnight. The shutters had come down on the wallpaper shops, tacky card emporiums and amusement arcades, but the Poundland shutter was still up. I knew that he’d be having trouble with counting the cash, the fucking moron. “One, two three, four, five, SIXTY. How many pennies left? Twenty... twenty-six? Okay that’ll do it.” He’ll utter things like this to himself in the cash office every single night, struggling with the accounts of a fucking EVERYTHING’S A POUND shop. The strip lights blinked off one by one and the street became a little darker. I knew that this was my chance, my moment. A few moments passed and I turned up Radio 4 to
Also in the news “New archeological evidence has shown that both Jesus and Muhammed were gay.” “Racist Tram Woman named Government spokesperson for equality and community cohesion” “German’s fondness for Christmas largely based on Holocaust guilt” maximum volume, the cheap speakers in the doors of the Micra vibrating and crackling with the pain of such a tinny and horrific frequency. He came out, shut the red plate glass door, locking the top, then the bottom, then standing back to close the remote controlled metal shutter. It took about a minute for it to slowly crash to the pavement, a metallic clang echoing down the misty street. Suddenly I saw him gasp, then look around all panicked and sweaty. I flicked my headlights on, blinding him and floored the 1.2 litre engine straight at him. Then all I can remember are blue flashes and a small crowd gathering around my smoking car. I passed out and awoke in a hospital ward the next day. Nobody ever knew I was trying to kill Phil Wilson that night, not even him.
QMESSENGER MONDAY DECEMBER 5 2011
13
Games
Sweaty Brow of the Week
Sudoku
Image by lairdscott via Flickr
Which repeat offender has made a twat of themselves again this week with an unfortunate penchant for murder?
Last week’s answers:
The sweaty brow belonged to: Danny Alexander The answer to the riddle was: Dog Handler Class Place Breed Tiff Jane Senior 3rd Collie Patti Mark Starters 1st Labrador Jago Ruth Novice 4th Doberman Kelly Terry Elementary 9th Alsatian
Postgraduate Quiz Night TONIGHT! 6pm Monday 5th December Drapers Bar To sign up email philip.gilks@ qmsu.org If you sign up by 4pm on Friday 2nd December you will receive a free drink voucher to use on the night of the quiz games@qmessenger.co.uk
14
QMESSENGER MONDAY DECEMBER 5 2011
Societies
Aspire meets Queen Mary’s Daniel Holt
Ayse Toker New student-led volunteering project Aspire takes its inspiration from the London 2012 Legacy Vision to inspire a new generation of young people to take part in volunteering, cultural and physical activity. By giving unique lessons to schools in host borough Tower Hamlets, Aspire aims to increase interest and understanding of the paralympics ahead of the event next year. Aspire has gained support from some disabled students who recognise the importance of the work it is doing. Disabled athlete Daniel Holt, who is currently a first year Law student said: “A good thing about Aspire is that it raises the awareness of Paralympics sports to young disabled people, making them aware of the future success they could have in these sports.” Holt plays Powerchair Football for Sale United Powerchair Football Club (PFC). He said: “I started in November 2010 after meeting my friend and team-mate-to-be at college, it’s a great sport.” Power Football is a competitive team sport for people with disabil-
ities who use power wheelchairs. It was first played in France in the 1970s with the first Powerchair Football World Cup held in Tokyo, Japan in October 2007. Powerchair football is usually played in specialised chairs namely the Invacare Storm and the Invacare TDX. These chairs have bumpers on the front and the sport is played with large footballs 13-inch (330 mm). Sale United PFC has achieved rapid success and has even finished second in the Greater Midlands Powerchair Football League, whilst also competing in the North-West Powerchair Football League. Surprisingly, powerchair football is the only sport for powerchair users meaning powerchair users are not represented in the London 2012 Paralympics. Holt notes, “It is slightly disappointing. I think we should be represented. Paralympians are far better, but hey I’m biased…” The upcoming London Paralympics is expected to have one of the biggest followings yet. Support was shown recently as 1.14 million Paralympic Games tickets were applied for, with many sports oversubscribed, including Wheelchair Rugby.
Holt’s favourite paralympian is Oscar Pistorius (aka Blade Runner): “The fastest man on no legs! I respect him, because he kicked ass in the last Paralympics and he’s fought really hard to be able to kick some ‘normal’ ass in the London 2012 Olympics.” Pistorius has caused some controversy over the past few years as some people consider it ‘unfair’ for him to play in the Olympics as opposed to Paralympics. Holt argues otherwise: “The person has had both legs amputated, learned how to walk and run again using specialist equipment. I fail to see how he is at an advantage over a person who has had the same pair of legs all their lives. In my opinion it’s a completely incompetent and ignorant argument to suggest otherwise.” QMSU Aspire is giving Queen Mary students an opportunity to learn more about the Paralympics and disability sport. Their lectures, after being presented to local Tower Hamlets schools, will be available to download. At the final event day a showcase of paralympic sports such as Goalball, Sitting Volleyball and Boccia will be available for students to trial. Aspiring for better representation
Image by Ruth Faulkner
A hearty thanks for Society in Spotlight: The Queen soothing the Itchy Feet Mary Socialist Worker Student Society Aysel Kucuksu The Itchy Feet RAG fundraiser came to Queen Mary on Saturday 26 November playing its own unique mix of Swing, Soul, Funk, Rhythm & Blues, Rock n Roll and Ska. Queen Mary students were to be excited about it, though, to be honest, what I feel had the biggest impact on people (judging by their faces when I was giving them a 30-second summary of the event) was that part of the proceeds would go to charity. Two weeks ago, RAG was not as well known as it is now, so I feel it quite appropriate to thank all the people who “took the risk” and tried it out, induced by the quite beautiful idea that they might make some money for charity while doing something fun. And, oh, the fun we had. Literally, I could feel that even the bodyguards were losing themselves to the rhythm of the songs which were playing to warm the dance floor up, while Ellen and I were patiently waiting at the door, vaguely aware of what the night would end up being. For me, Itchy Feet, was not
even all about the amazing music, dancing, or venue, but about the whole process behind bringing about it. The team behind RAG Itchy Feet was amazing. We had fun from start to finish, and I could not have felt more proud for being a part of it. Whether it was flyering, dancing randomly in library square, or discussing the plans over cupcakes, promoting Itchy Feet was delightful. There were, of course, the awkward moments of feeling like a spammer for posting the event constantly on facebook, like a stalker for checking out the number of attendees on the event page every other hour, or walking the line of annoyingness upon asking all your friends if they would attend. Oh, well. I feel quite relaxed about that now because after the event’s success, I can feel nothing but contentment about having my name being related to it in one way or another. All tickets were sold out, and I have not heard a single complain as of yet. Oh, RAG Itchy Feet, you have given me the first opportunity to full-heartedly brag about something I have been a part of organizing.
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Ross Speer The Socialist Worker Student Society is a national organisation based in schools, colleges and universities dedicated to fighting against the capitalist system and for a socialist one. Capitalism has failed. Half the worlds population lives on less than $2 a day, 67 % of the worlds wealth is held by just 2 % of the population, we live under constant threat of war and destruction through the use of nuclear weapons or global warming. The Socialist Worker Student Society does not believe that this can be changed through the parliamentary system, itself designed to uphold capitalism and done away with by the ruling class whenever deemed necessary such as has happened in Greece and Italy. The emancipation of the working class must be the act of the working class itself. We believe in revolution from below and we believe that to achieve this was we need to bring together revolutionaries in an organisation that can strengthen the movement and put forward a strategy to overthrow the capitalist system entirely. All across the world ordinary working people are fighting back
against a system that is collapsing once again. Crisis is a tendency built in to capitalism, and crisis is always solved by making working people pay. If you want to fight against austerity measures, war, poverty, racism, inequality and for a socialist world then join us. Government cuts are not necessary. The Tories propose making £83 billion of cuts in public services to pay down a deficit in large part caused by a bank bailout. This crisis was not caused by ordinary people, but we are being made to pay for it. Last year the wealth of the richest 400 people rose by £77 billion, their total wealth is £344 billion. The ‘right’ of 400 people to
accumulate unimaginable wealth has been put ahead of the livelihoods of millions of people. Such is the workings of capitalism and the parliamentary system that serves to ensure it continues. Voting for representatives once every five years that then cannot be removed, and are not bound to follow either our wishes or their promises as the Liberal Democrats have so starkly proved, is not democracy in any real sense of the word. Control of the economy remains in the hands of the owners of the banks and big businesses no matter who we vote for. Bring Down the Government One Solution: Revolution.
Image by jpbr_ via Flickr
16
QMESSENGER MONDAY DECEMBER 5 2011
Sport
Learning a lesson as a nation mourns Shafi Musaddique Reading obituaries are never fun, sometimes intriguing and on those rare occasions shocking. The news of Gary Speeds’ death on a crisp and sunny Sunday is definitely one to be classed under the latter. For someone so revered in sporting circles, how could a man who ‘had it all’ – as one would say – contemplate the darkest of alleys in suicide? As twitter and radio outlets broke the news, many struggled to accept the story as anything other than a hoax. Surely one of the most successful players of top-flight football of the Premier League era, a man who was now spearheading the upwards trend of the Welsh national team, was not dead? Aged nineteen, Speed came through the ranks at Leeds United. The Welshman went on to become a steady heartbeat of the side that won the last league Championship before the Premier-League era, in 1992. Having made over 300 appearanced for Leeds, he moved to his boyhood club Everton in the summer of 1996. Spells at Newcastle and Sheffield United followed. His presence was felt on the international scene, as he captained Wales and then
eventually manage his country with a plethora of young Premier League stars at the heart of a new look Wales. It would not be hyperbole to suggest that the outpour of grief
and anecdotes were on the same level as the death of Michael Jackson. Both were sudden, both had lived the public spotlight. But that’s where the differences stop – for a while. The signs of
Jackson’s problems were all too public to see; physical strain, reclusiveness and addiction ravaged one of the greatest Popstars the world ever saw. For Gary Speed, no signs were detectable.
A successful first semester for QM Netball Emma Swan QMN 3rds and 4ths have gone from strength to strength in this first half of the season generating wins against the likes of St Mary’s 1st, Vets, KCL and SOAS. The 3rdS led by Eliza Finch battled to a great win against St Mary’s 1st with great performances by Leanne Crowdy and Emer McCoy, the team’s greatest win yet. Channeling their winning streak, the 3rds went on to beat Royal Vets 45-20 to secure a perfect first half of the season which has placed them 2nd in the 3rd division. Eliza commented,
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‘we are getting better each match, currently 2nd in the league and getting stronger, we have only lost 2 matches!’ The 4th followed suit and have paved the way to a cracking season, beating SOAS 31-30, KCL 37-10 and a gigantic win against Rums of 32-2, but narrowly losing to rivals LSE 33-30! Great performances by Hazel Hewitt in defence and Katy Worsfold and Rosie Dempsey in attack, it was been a solid start top the season for both teams and lets look forward to a fantastic second half of the season. QMN 2nd showed their prowess in the BUCS league by beating St
Georges 1st 38-36 to qualify to the next round of the Cup and thrashing Barts 48-17 in ULU with Hazel Saunders outstanding shooting and Nicole Couzens rapid pace across the court. 1st proving they can still hold their own in their leagues beating Reading 41-14 and LSE 34-31. QMN 2nds played Kings 2nds battling to the final whistle to secure the win 34-30. The match began with QM on the back foot losing the first quarter 11-3 but after a few changes to the team made by captain Grace Hunt, they managed to claw back to level score both in the second and third quarter. A mighty last push
by the unbeaten team, with the light diminishing and the girls almost needing head torches to see the ball, the girls went on to accelerate to the win in the closing minutes of the final quarter. Player of the match was out of position Fran Sweetingham, which showed the strength and depth of their squad. This now takes the team to their 12th straight win and puts them in good stead for the rest of the season. Overall, the team are increasingly playing well, both individuals and the teams as a whole shining through. What a fantastic start to the season all round!!
Immaculately dressed on BBC1 the day before, a psychiatrist would not have been able to find hints of depression or anxiety. And that is where Jackson and Speed return to a similarity; both may have felt severe pressure in domestic life and careers. We may never know the cause of Speeds decision to take his own life. But what we can learn is that one should not be quick to judge harshly on another. It is a lesson for everyone on campus who may feel burdened by studying, work or other personal and domestic issues. We are quite fortunate at both Queen Mary and Barts to have counselling and advice at hand. Unfortunately, despite the money at the top level of football and sport in general, many players feel ashamed at speaking out. More support is needed for our young sportsmen and women. I urge bodies such as Sport England and those at the heart of the Olympics legacy to take this opportunity and be part of a legacy in response to this week’s tragedy. It has been reported that five players have already come forward to seek help in dealing with depression. One feels there are many more. If there is a silver lining to this tragedy, always remember that you’ll never walk alone.
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