FREE!
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BOOK TOUR
Concept: Ben Edlund Writer: Benito Cereno Artist: Les McClaine Publisher/Editor: George Suarez Art Director: Bob Polio Asst. Editor: Ralph Blaser Of course I’m still trying to sell t-shirts, Tick!
Hey, Running Guy! Hey, Man-o-War!
Still trying to get internet famous, I see.
Working on selling t-shirts, or have you moved on to some other improbable scheme?
-then a cat plays a concertina while wearing my “running eye” t-shirt, available in stores now!
But now I’m directing attention to them via ViRAL MARKETiNG. I’ve uploaded this video that I think people will go nuts for. It’s got me “accidentally” falling off a treadmill-
Oh no! I totally fell down not at all on purpose!
If that doesn’t work, I’m going to get some dental work done and have fatso here tape all the embarrassing things I say while I’m hopped up on pain meds.
Oh, the sacrifices we make in the name of friendship.
Sounds promising. The public loves people falling down and saying stupid things. I’ve based a whole career on it.
A cherry WHAT deal?
Make fun if you want, tough guy. We can’t all luck into a cherry book deal like you did.
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Hah! And so the borders of Liechtenstein crumble like so much poorly made American confection before the sprawling empire of Bumbling Bee!
Kneel before me, capitalist fat person!
Arthur!
Tick! Please, in the name of all that’s holy, tell me we have a mission.
Sigh…why did I agree to play this game with you again?
What is it, Tick?
We have a mission.
This sounds serious.
Any chance this is a three-person mission?
Hah! You shall not escape the clutches of empire so easily, swine!
Not this time, Ducky. This timeit’s PERSONAL.
Running Guy read on Fish Boy’s blog that someone made a book about us, and we’re going to find it!
A book? About US?
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Quickly, Arthur! Into the sewers!
I guess it’s upsetting that someone out there is profiting off our likenesses, but I’ve never known you to be concerned about intellectual property rights.
What? Why?
What? No! Don’t you see the potential?
No time for questions, chum!
We’ve got to find that book!
Someone wrote a book about our life! Our WHOLE LiFE!
We just have to flip ahead to see what’s coming!
We’ll get the drop on all our enem-YiPE!
What will happen next month, next year, whatever!
Shut up, mimes!
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proclaimed lost princes of Atlantis in a mixed martial arts tournament, but these results were apparently not politically binding. Cod’s heroic forte has proven to be his barracuda-like ferocity and an almost criminally foolish tenacity, coupled with a complete disregard for his own well-being, and for that matter, the well-being of anyone else. This complete unwillingness to give up under any circumstance has given him a reputation among villains as someone to avoid in battle situation, as well as a reputation among ladies as someone to avoid in social situations.
First Appearance The Tick and Arthur #2 Page 13
The most common target of his advances is his erstwhile teammate, Bumbling Bee, whom he constantly propositions despite her vaguely defined romantic relationship with team leader Rubber Ducky. Even though Cod clearly expends way more of his efforts in wooing Bee than he does in fighting crime, the only substantial result he has so far attained is the knowledge that he can survive (barely) the attacks of huge swarms of Africanized bees.
CAPED COD SECRET IDENTITY: Walter St. Dubois HEIGHT: 6’ WEIGHT: 225 lbs CLEVER NICKNAMES: [unprintable] CATCHPHRASE: [unprintable] POLITE TERM HIS FRIENDS USE TO DESCRIBE HIM IN MIXED COMPANY: “Earthy” ARCH-ENEMIES: smoking bans; liquor laws; the boundaries of good taste UTILITY BELT CONTENTS: Brass knuckles, cigars, matches, chewing tobacco, rolling paper, liquor nips, a foldout spittoon, numerous purchases from the vending machines in truck stop bathrooms, calamine lotion and other items too intimate to mention here. SUPERHERO-NESS: Like many heroes with an alleged aquatic theme, Caped Cod has absolutely no fish or water-themed powers whatsoever. He can, however, swim in emergency situations such as impressing a lady or retrieving a dropped six-pack. He also claims to have defeated a number of the various self-
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As a person, Cod is a foul-mouthed, vulgar, obscene, lecherous, voyeuristic, unshaven, unwashed, two-timing, back-stabbing, impolite, rude so-and-so. He is unkind to small animals, delinquent in changing his underwear, and has never once recycled except by accident. Otherwise he is considered to be not such a bad guy. Cod has a reputation for going through sidekicks the way a normal man might go through facial tissue. It is unclear whether this is due to his treatment of them as child slaves or just general negligence. Recently Cod was one of a number of heroes who abandoned The City to move to Blissburg, an idyllic city where crime is fought via appointment. Since Blissburg was exposed as a fraud by Tick and Arthur, Cod’s whereabouts have been largely unknown, other than recently showing up for a Dirty Santa party at the Comet Club, but experts believe his activities could best be described as “shenanigans.”
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ness and large, innocent-looking eyes to steal valuable art and artifacts from various museums and collectors across the globe. Taking up the mantle of the deadly Desperadoe, Dosie was often most successful in her larcenous misadventures not by using her preternatural speed and agility, but by taking advantage of a skill most identical twins have exploited at some point in their lives: i.e., impersonating her twin sister. By pretending to be her better-reputationed sibling, Desperadoe has found herself able to infiltrate all sorts of private locations that would otherwise be completely off-limits to a woman dressed in a one-piece bathing suit, doe ears and clovenhoofed booties.
First Appearance The Tick New Series #2 Page 1
DESPERADOE SECRET IDENTITY: Dosie Doates CLEVER NICKNAME: The Cervine Scofflaw; the Cloven Hoof Hood KNOWN RELATIVES: Deer Prudence, sister; No-Eyed Deer, father ARCH-ENEMIES: The Tick; ticks, tree stands SUPERVILLAIN-NESS: The fleet-footed thief known as the Desperadoe comes from a tradition of deer-themed costumed figures, which includes her twin sister, Deer Prudence, a respected member of the New York superhero community and frequenter of the Comet Club, hotspot for the musclebound and fabulous, and their legendary father, street level blind superhero No-Eyed Deer, who used his kung fu skills and heightened deer senses to clean up the mean streets of New York City in the 1970s. Although her sister Mairzy gladly helped to fight the good fight (or at least garner the fame that comes along with having the reputation of fighting that fight) by suiting up as the hero Deer Prudence, Dosie decided to assert her teenage rebellion by using her natural deer-like swift-
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She most recently used this talent to infiltrate The City’s Museum of Accessible History, where an enormous heart-shaped diamond known as the Heart of Glass was soon to be put on display. Impersonating her sister Prudence, Desperadoe got herself hired as security for the invaluable gem, which was believed to have supernatural powers that could control others through the force of unbridled love. Shortly after stealing the diamond and escaping the museum, however, Desperadoe found herself confronted by the Tick, who proved to be immune to the diamond’s alleged magical effects. Desperadoe subsequently led the tick on a merry chase around The City, only to find herself incapacitated when Arthur, unaware of a deer crossing sign, ran into her with his Mercury Bobcat. Desperadoe is currently incarcerated. Like Scarf Ace, Desperadoe apparently works for an unknown, shadowy crime boss who encourages the innovations of the younger generation of criminals.
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trying to figure out something to do with her hands while ironically watching television documentary series about teen pregnancies, she decided to teach herself knitting. And the world would never be the same.
First Appearance The Tick New Series #1 Page 9
Almost immediately after discovering the ancient art of turning animal hair into things you put on your body or on top of small appliances, the future Scarf Ace found herself obsessed, and would not rest until she had successfully obtained the finest yarns from the rarest of animals, and had knitted the most complex of patterns, rendering all human relationships worthless in her eyes when compared to the potential of the ultimate knitting project. Experts believe that such sociopathic behavior is not unusual in knitters, and that most would become supervillains to enact their goals if they could.
SCARF ACE SECRET IDENTITY: Unknown CLEVER NICKNAMES: The Yarn Varlet; the Stitchin’ Witch CATCHPHRASE: “Just you wait until I finish this row!”; “Shut up while I’m counting!” KNOWN ASSOCIATES: The Whipster, her sidekick or partner or roommate or something ARCH-ENEMIES: The Tick; Running Guy; she’s not too keen on Chairface and other villains she considers to be “old dudes”; also she has something of a love-hate relationship with cats. GADGETS AND WEAPONS: various yarns bearing preternatural properties, including hypnotic yarn and a skein made from unicorn hair that grants wishes; weaponized needles and a modified 12-gauge shotgun out of which she can fire them; row counter plastique; drum carder (not a weapon; she just likes to brag about it); an otherwise unused art degree with a minor in computer science SUPERVILLAIN-NESS: Prior to her tenure as a super-villain, Scarf Ace was just another of a seemingly innumerable crowd of aimless 20-somethings looking for purpose in a world of ennui-inducing sitcoms and soul-crushing retail jobs. One fateful day, however, while
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Utilizing both her skill at crafts and technological knowledge, Scarf Ace first rose to public attention when she absconded with the Purl of Great Price from its stop in The City on a national tour of fiber festivals. Since then, she has gained notoriety by hypnotizing The Tick and Arthur with mesmeric Christmas sweaters and using their brawn to steal a herd of alpacas so that she might use yarn made from their coats for her own nefarious purposes. Once she was foiled, Scarf Ace did some time in prison, but upon her parole, she and her minion (or boyfriend? Or something?) the Whipster have invested their energy into scarfaceco.com, a website that allegedly sells hip t-shirts, but which is actually a scam to take the money of designers without ever printing their designs. Scarf Ace and Whipster work for a boss whose identity is unknown, but who seems to favor more subtle flavors of villainy than the old guard of world conquerors and moon defacers
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