SALIENT RAMBLINGS SAL IACOPELLI
‘It is so strange the way things turn’
—Peter Gabriel, Don’t Give Up
WE ARE CONDITIONED TO THINK OF “SUCCESS” IN TERMS OF
after school and I would revel in listening wealth, of accumulation of property and objects, or of extensive to him speak of history power. These are rather easy to achieve when born into affluent on any subject, and describe movie plots or influential circumstances. What about most of the rest of us? so well and in the most If we compare ourselves to society’s or someone exacting detail, I felt as if I were there. In retrospect, I else’s standard of success, how can we ever feel sucsuspect he might have had a variation of Asperger’s cessful? Really, comparatively few become extensively syndrome. Brilliant, almost an idiot savant, with few rich or hugely famous. And certainly, do most of those social skills. Of course, he was teased mercilessly for who are famous deserve such accolades? Snookie of his oddness and his creative dreaminess. His nickname, Jersey Shore? The Kardashians? Oh, where are the divas much to his chagrin, was “Ancient Green.” I found it to of yesteryear, the Gabor sisters for example, who were be quite apt and somewhat romantic. John was happifamous simply by being so enchantingly fabulous? est reading about ancient cultures, dreaming of what Consider how different living with AIDS is from those it must have been like to live within them, and writing terrifying early days. If you were diagnosed with AIDS in beautiful poetry about them. I was deeply in awe and the ’80s, your life expectancy dwindled to two years. I loved him—not sexually, but rather, spiritually, intellecprogressed to AIDS in 1995, yet still walk the earth. That tually, and emotionally. alone is a success, but certainly, it was not a battle won We drifted apart after high school. I struggled without its challenges. Before you can achieve success, through self-examination, alcoholism, testing HIVdefine what success means to you. Is it a loving partpositive, and debilitating illness. Today, I am grateful ner? Enough financial resources to enable you to travel? to have good health, a wonderful home, supportive Or is it getting through the day being adherent to your friends, and many in my family whom I hold dear. Not to medication regimen? Your successes are personal. mention the best dog in the world. Furthermore, success doesn’t matter if it doesn’t make About 10 years ago, on my way to the bike track you happy or fulfilled. Is the billionaire who yearns for a along the lake, I stopped at a traffic light. A street permeaningful relationship successful? son stood near me waiting to cross. He was filthy, with What of my friend Patty who was a teenage mother matted hair, wearing a torn parka. He stood dreamily and a high school dropout who raised her child brilliantlooking up at the sky. I recognized him by his eyes, ly and who currently owns a home, has a great career, those sparkling green, flecked-with-gold wonders. It is in a strong marriage and whose daughter recently was John. I told him who I was and asked if he rememearned her master’s degree? bered me. He tore himself from his reverie, looked at me Or my buddy Tim, who lost his wife in a horrible car and mumbled “Uh, yeah.” The traffic light changed and accident not long after they were married, who has he hurried to cross the street. dealt with that loss, and has opened his heart once Since then, I spot him occasionally, shuffling along more to love? dreamily in the park as I tear along on my bike. Sure, he Or my mother who, when diagnosed with emphyended up filthy, half crazy, and homeless. But all he ever sema, immediately quit smoking and two years later, wanted was to be left alone to dream his dreams. braves each day solidly, armed with oxygen and a batSo who is the success? Is he or am I? tery of medications. They are successes, all. Success is peace of mind, which is a direct result of selfI went to high school with a guy named John Green. satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to become He had gleaming green eyes with flecks of gold, thick, the best you are capable of becoming. unruly, dark brown curls and was the smartest, most — JOHN WOODEN creative person I knew. We would walk home together P O S I T I V E LYA W A R E . C O M
If we compare ourselves to society’s or someone else’s standard of success, how can we ever feel successful? Really, comparatively few become extensively rich or hugely famous.
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