Hope for the Hurting (January/February 2014)

Page 1

Hope for the Hurting Addiction: Searching for Something Greater Seeking Understanding for Indigenous Issues ed Light Green Light: R Canadian Film Fights Human Trafficking Forgotten Fathers: The Untold Victims of Abortion

january – february, 2014 newsstand price cdn $4.95

men god life


Visit our PromiseKeepers.ca for the latest info, videos, audio messages, men’s articles, books and other resources.

SEVEN Magazine Men. God. Life. A Christian magazine for Canadian men. Relevant, exciting and biblical.

Men of Integrity Devotional Especially written for men, personally challenging, eternally rewarding. Available in a 60 page booklet or as an email devotional.

Visit us online at www.PromiseKeepers.ca and seven – issue thirty-four january – february, 2014 page 2

EQU I P


c ontent s men god life

january – february, 2014 newsstand price cdn $4.95

january – february, 2014

ON THE COVER:

Hope for the hurting This issue is about the issues. The important conversations on some of the most divisive topics affecting society today. From addictions, to human trafficking, to exploring abortion from the perspective of “The Forgotten Male,” to figuring out what to make of First Nations issues, Seven dives deep into social issues.

FEATURES:

Hope for the Hurting

11

Addiction: Searching for Something Greater Seeking Understanding for Indigenous Issues Red Light Green Light: Canadian Film Fights Human Trafficking Forgotten Fathers: The Untold Victims of Abortion

The forgotten casualties of abortion | Craig Macartney Without question, abortion is among the most hotly contested and emotional issues in society today, yet few have considered the emotional impact abortion has on men. Regardless of religion or politics, abortion takes its toll on men.

14

Red Light, Green Light | Steven Sukkau Filmmakers Jared and Michelle Brock have travelled to nearly 30 countries and witnessed firsthand the effects of sex trafficking. After the Ontario government began considering legalizing prostitution, the Brocks felt they needed to create a film exploring the ramifications of making the business of selling sex legal.

18

Indigenous issues: from education to reconciliation | Aaron Epp For those unfamiliar with the culture, understanding what lies at the heart of the issues facing Canada’s indigenous communities can be a tall order. And knowing what to do in response can be even tougher. Seeking understanding means leaving stereotypes behind.

22 Porn: it’s not about sex | Michael Cusick Like all idols, porn promises us something we desire. In reality, it overpromises and underdelivers. In PK Canada speaker Michael Cusick’s experience, research, and observations, porn promises fulfillment of many of our desires, without any responsibility.

14

COLUMNS: 5

PK Podium Walking the fine line

25

Sports Scene Goalie finds faith amid job uncertainty

SEVEN is a Christian magazine for Canadian men that exists to help men lead more fulfilling lives and leave enduring legacies. The name reflects the seven promises that form the basis of the Promise Keepers organization, which works with churches to minister to men across Canada. one – A promise keeper is committed to honouring Jesus Christ through worship, prayer, and obedience to God’s Word in the power of the Spirit. two – A promise keeper is committed to pursuing Christ-centred friendships with a few other men, connecting regularly, understanding that he needs brothers to help him keep his promises. three – A promise keeper is committed to practicing biblical integrity: spiritually, morally, ethically and sexually. four – A promise keeper is committed to strengthening families and marriages through love, honour, protection, and biblical values. five – A promise keeper is committed to supporting the mission of his church by honouring and praying for his pastor, and by actively giving his time and resources. six – A promise keeper is committed to reaching beyond racial, social, economic, generational, and denominational barriers to demonstrate that power of biblical unity. seven – A promise keeper is committed to influencing the world by his fervent love for God while loving his neighbour, seeking justice for the poor and oppressed, and making disciples of Jesus Christ.

26 The Single Life Recognizing responsibility, shedding shortcomings 27

18

Out of My Depth Just be just

30 What Women Want Recession romance: budgeting for love

DEPARTMENTS: 7 Reviews: Re-thinking gender roles 8 Pulse: Bits. Blips. Beats. Blurbs.

28

28 Power Play: Toys. Tools. Technology.

22

Publisher: Brian Koldyk Editorial Director: Jeff Stearns Managing Editor: Rob Horsley Copyeditor: Kelly Rempel ADVERTISING Rick Verkerk rick@promisekeepers.ca 1.888.901.9700

25

EDITORIAL ADVISORY BOARD MARC BRULE: WellSpring Community Church ROB HORSLEY: ChristianWeek KIRK GILES: Promise Keepers Canada JEFF STEARNS: Promise Keepers Canada MATT BREIMER: Promise Keepers Canada

EDITORIAL 204-424 Logan Avenue Winnipeg, MB R3A 0R4 Phone: (204) 982-2060 (800) 263-6695 admin@christianweek.org

PROMISE KEEPERS CANADA Box 20099 RPO Brant Hills Burlington, ON L7P 0A4

DESIGN ’Segun Olude indigoinkstudios.com

Postmaster, please send address changes to : Box 20099 RPO Brant Hills, Burlington, ON L7P 0A4

(905) 331-1830 info@promisekeepers.ca

ISSN 1916-8403 Cover Photo: iStockphoto

The PK Canada logo features a maple leaf, indicating our dedication to serve the men of Canada. An arrow breaks into the maple leaf symbolizing the impact we believe God wants to see Promise Keepers and men making in our nation. A special thank-you to all the pastors who continually encourage us to communicate God’s truth with grace and love.

seven – issue thirty-four january – february, 2014 page 3


“Be strong and courageous.”

Joshua 1:9

MEN’S CONFERENCE

Join men from all across Canada for Promise Keepers Canada’s Stronger men’s conferences. Fantastic speakers, live music and resources to equip you for life.

“There’s a place in every man’s heart that longs to be courageous, to be bold and gutsy and etch a masculine mark of bravery on the human landscape. In our hearts, we know that a part of the core of true manhood is courage.” – STEPPING UP, AUTHOR DENNIS RAINEY

“Nehemiah’s life is a testament to courage. God is looking for leaders like Nehemiah to fight moral, physical, political, and spiritual battles. He is looking for those who possess the spiritual courage to trust Him and take their faith in him into the daily battles of life.” – A LEADER AFTER GOD’S OWN HEART, AUTHOR JIM GEORGE “The man who claims he’s never done anything courageous doesn’t understand what courage really is – or how often he faces decisions that require courage.” – STEPPING UP, AUTHOR DENNIS RAINEY

“A real man rejects passivity, accepts responsibility, leads courageously, and expects God’s greater reward.” – MEN’S FRATERNITY CURRICULUM, AUTHOR ROBERT LEWIS

www.PromiseKeepers.ca

seven – issue thirty-four january – february, 2014 page 4

“There comes into the life of every man a task for which he and he alone is uniquely suited. What a shame if that moment finds him either unwilling or unprepared for that which would become his finest hour.” – WINSTON CHURCHILL


P K Podium

Friends or enemies? The struggle to reconcile evangelism and social justice By Kirk Giles

Several years ago, I had the privilege to attend a major global conference with fellow leaders in Christian ministry. I was disappointed to discover that a tension I believed had been resolved a long time ago was still very real, and the emotions were very strong. In one camp, there are people who are fully committed to declaring the good news of Jesus to those who do not yet know Him. These people live with eternity in mind—they live as though the most important gift we can share with others is the gift of eternal life. In the other camp are those who are fully committed to expressing God’s love for people here on Earth. They often focus more on living like Jesus did than they do on declaring the need to put your faith in Jesus. These individuals are committed to what is often called “social justice” and are passionate to express the heart of God to a broken and hurting world. People from both sets of values tend to be very passionate about their belief and focus. There are often criticisms of the other, and there have been more than a few debates about what should be the priority of the Christian. One of the best books I have ever read on this tension is Explicit Gospel by Matt Chandler.

In this book, Chandler reminds us: “From beginning to end, the Scriptures reveal that the foremost desire of God’s heart is not our salvation but rather the glory of his own name. God’s glory is what drives the universe; it is why everything exists.” Chandler goes on to say, “… while individual salvation is at the tipping point of God’s gospel—the kingdom is in the midst of us, after all (Luke 17:21)—the designation kingdom itself tells us that the gospel is God’s plan not just to restore mankind, but to restore ‘all things’ for mankind’s enjoyment, Christ’s lordship, and his triune self’s glory.” Explicit Gospel is a powerful reminder of the fullness of the gospel of Jesus. By God’s grace, we are reconciled to Him. However, the story does not end there. He makes us part of His plan to restore all things. Who is right? Those who want to declare the message of Jesus or those who are passionate about seeing God’s justice brought to the broken and oppressed in our world? I believe the correct answer is both! As you read this month’s edition of Seven, you will see stories of those who are involved in what is called “social justice.” Together, we need to celebrate the diversity of the Body of Christ and how we are all collectively reflecting the gospel of Jesus. No matter where you personally stand on this issue, I challenge everyone to read Explicit Gospel and discover how amazing the whole gospel of Jesus really is.

Kirk Giles is the president of Promise Keepers Canada. However, his most important roles as a man are husband to Shannon and father to Carter, Joshua, Sydney and Samuel.

seven – issue thirty-four january – february, 2014 page 5


WE promise To give you great service and competitive insurance pricing

special INSURANCE rates for members of an evangelical church Please give us a call and see if you qualify for special rates on your AUTO-HOME-CONDO or TENANT insurance through the Evangelical Group Insurance Plan.

1-800-240-5283 www.deeksinsurance.ca Available in Ontario/Alberta/New Brunswick D.L. Deeks Insurance is a proud supporter of Promise Keepers

seven – issue thirty-four january – february, 2014 page 6

THE EVANGELICAL GROUP INSURANCE PLAN


reviews

Re-thinking gender roles Reviews by Cindy Janssens

FULLY ALIVE: A BIBLICAL VISION OF GENDER THAT FREES MEN AND WOMEN TO LIVE BEYOND STEREOTYPES By Larry Crabb What would it look like if we were free to live beyond the gender stereotypes that our culture has created, ones that often result in heartache, pain, and broken relationships? In a world with increasing confusion regarding gender identity, Larry Crabb attempts to bring clarity through his new book Fully Alive by asking what it means to be masculine and feminine given that we are created in God’s image and are designed to reveal His character in how we relate uniquely as men and women. Crabb rises above the murky waters of historical debate regarding the roles of men and women, arguments that have polarized and divided Christians and non-Christians alike. He suggests a fresh perspective by asking what it means as men and women to become fully alive in Christ for the glory of God, and what that reveals about the relational character of God. Crabb asserts that a woman is authentically feminine when she is relating in a way that reveals something wonderful about the character of God that no man can as fully reveal. This occurs when she is so at rest in God’s delight of her that she invites others to enjoy the beauty of the God whose love casts out the power of fear. Likewise, a man is authentically masculine when he is relating in a way that reveals something about the character of God that no woman can as fully reveal—that is, when he moves deeply into another’s soul with life-changing, divine impact.

However, there are core fears hidden in both men and women that inhibit this expression. For men it is weightlessness: that he doesn’t have what it takes to make a visible impact. For women it is invisibility: that she is unnoticed and alone. Crabb explores these fears by digging into the deeper meaning of the original language that the Bible uses in reference to God’s creation of us as male and female. In a slow, methodical teaching, he unpacks the Hebrew words, among others, for “male,” “female,” and “helper,” revealing God’s vision of gender that frees men and women to live beyond their fears and stereotypes. Although Crabb is dealing with a difficult, and sometimes controversial topic, he does so with gentleness and grace. He is able to challenge those entrenched in their views, but who are willing to be open to a fresh perspective. I appreciated how he makes himself vulnerable by sharing elements of his own story, and thereby gently disarms the readers as he exposes the realities of his family of origin, his faults and failures in his own marriage, and his struggle to continue to address his own fears with regard to his identity as a man. The opening chapters of the book were at times laborious and exhausting to read, as he spent time meticulously dissecting words, meanings, facts, and I often wondered where he was going with it all. However, as I entered Part Three and Part Four, it became clearer, and I finally experienced the “aha” moment I was waiting for. Fully Alive is not a quick read, partially because of its sometimes laborious style, but also because it is a highly sensitive and controversial topic.

Any reader with tightly held beliefs must be open to perhaps an entirely new perspective, but for those wanting a book with depth and challenge, this one will certainly stretch the reader into areas they may not have explored in their theology. Crabb is a master teacher who lays out his ideas in a methodical manner. If you are open to being led into new territory, even if you’re unsure of the destination, you will eventually arrive at a deeper wisdom and insight and a fresh set of lenses through which to view gender identity. Cindy Janssens is the assistant to the president of Promise Keepers Canada. She is most importantly, a wife to Peter and mother to Christy, Heather, and Ryan, and they make their home in Burlington, Ontario.

seven – issue thirty-four january – february, 2014 page 7


Bits + Blips. Beats + Blurbs. by Rob Horsley, PULSE Editor

FROM THE DEEP, DARK REACHES OF CYBERSPACE… STUDY SAYS READERS CAN’T IDENTIFY MEN’S MAG QUOTES FROM RAPISTS’ SURREY, UK—While this isn’t the freshest story to hit our pages, it might be one of the most striking, and also one of the darkest. A study co-conducted two years ago by the University of Surrey (UK) and researchers from Middlesex University concluded that the general reading population can’t tell the difference between the quotes from popular British men’s magazines (FHM, Loaded, among others), and police archives containing the statements of several convicted rapists. Though not ‘news’ in the classic sense, the findings remain as unsettling as when they were first published. As reported by Anna North, “participants couldn’t reliably identify which statements came from magazines and which from rapists.” As well, the study “rated the magazine quotes as slightly more derogatory than the statements made by men serving time for raping women.” Specifically, many of the rapists featured for comment in the study mentioned their experience of coercing women or “having sex with them even though they were initially unwilling.” Apparently, the comments of interview subjects featured by “lad mags” of the UK were not much different. As stated by Dr. Peter Hegarty, one of the co-authors of the study: “There is a fundamental concern that the content of such magazines normalises the treatment of women as sexual objects. We are not killjoys or prudes who think that there should be no sexual information and media for young people. But are teenage boys and young men best prepared for fulfilling love and sex when they normalise views about women that are disturbingly close to those mirrored in the language of sexual offenders?” “When we truly begin see women as our Heavenly Father sees them, made in the image of God and loved by Him, it reveals the lie that so many of these men’s magazines portray. It reveals that they are not harmless fun but something that is much more insidious,” says Jeff Stearns, editorial director for Seven Magazine. The study, conducted in 2011, is titled, “Are Sex Offenders And Lads’ Mags Using The Same Language?” Photo Credit: © korionov

BLURBS

EDITOR’S NOTE: If you decide to check out the study, be advised that, given its nature, the quotes contained in the study (and in the subsequent Jezebel.com article) are of a graphic, and perhaps indecently disturbing variety. Seven editorial staff and Promise Keepers Canada does not recommend or condone any of the views expressed in the source material.

seven – issue thirty-four january – february, 2014 page 8


puls e

BLURBS

SCIENTISTS DEVELOP HELPFUL TIPS TO CURB URINATION ‘SPLASHBACK’ PROVO, UT—A team of physicists at Brigham Young University are hard at work developing a solution for the age-old problem of urination ‘splashback,’ wherein urine particles are scattered haphazardly upon impact with water from conventional toilets. Commonly, splashback can lead to cases of improper and potentially harmful bathroom hygiene, something professor Tadd Truscott describes “a breeding ground for bacteria.” The team presented the findings of its current research at a recent American Physical Society meeting. The group’s conference abstract reads: “In response to harsh and repeated criticisms from our mothers and several failed relationships with women, we present the splash dynamics of a simulated human male urine stream.” While this might all seem a little bit odd, Truscott along with team co-leader Randy Hurd, says that there is a more serious component to the team’s research. “People ask me, are you serious? I tell them yes, this may involve 12-year-old humour, but it’s also a real problem,” Truscott says. Experiments include firing coloured water at various target ‘toilets’ at the speed and pressure typical of most human urination and then observing slow-motion playback from a high-speed camera. Findings concluded that while sitting is preferable to standing in terms of reducing urinary splashback, the key is to “alter the angle of attack,” Hurd explains. Truscott and Hurd’s team have, jokingly, dubbed themselves “the wizz kids.”

AL ON NY I T A NA MP O C Serving the Residential, Industrial, Institutional & Municipal Markets

Harnessing the Power of Polymers ✔ We lift, align, under-pin & stabilize

Before

settled slab-on-grade structures

✔ We densify and stabilize weak base

soils to increase bearing capacity ✔ We fill voided areas such as

sink-holes, wash-outs, etc ✔ Infrastructure repair

After

www.poly-mor.ca

1 866 887 3835

ALBERTA  QUEBEC  ONTARIO  BRITISH COLUMBIA  MANITOBA  NEW BRUNSWICK  PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND NOVA SCOTIA  SASKATCHEWAN  NEWFOUNDLAND AND LABRADOR  YUKON  NORTHWEST TERRITORIES  NUNAVUT

Photo by Horia Varlan/Flickr

(BBC)

seven – issue thirty-four january – february, 2014 page 9


The Father’s Love

BLURBS

SPONGEBOB GRAVE DEEMED INAPPROPRIATE FOR CEMETERY CINCINNATTI, OH—In a bizarre twist on an already tragic story, the family of a recently killed military veteran is looking to have a seven-foot SpongeBob SquarePants headstone re-instated after cemetery staff removed it earlier this past fall. Spring Grove Cemetary president Gary Freytag stated, “We’ve decided that they aren’t appropriate for our historic cemetery and they can’t be displayed here,” speaking in reference to the headstone commemorating veteran Kimberly Walker’s favourite cartoon character. An employee of Spring Grove had initially approved the headstone to be displayed in the cemetery, something Freytag described as an inexplicable error in judgment, according to a report by the BBC. Spring Grove said it would refund the $26,000 cost of the headstone, as well as a copy reportedly made for Walker’s still-living twin sister, Kara Walker, who said: “For them not to accommodate and respect what my sister sacrificed, not only for my family, but for everyone else in this country, really bothers me.” Kimberly Walker was found strangled and beaten to death in a Colorado hotel room in February 2013. Her boyfriend, a sergeant in the military, was arrested and charged with her death. Walker served two tours in Iraq, 2006 and 2010, as a petroleum supply specialist. She was 28 years old.

(BBC)

seven – issue thirty-four january – february, 2014 page 10

When Adam Hoskins [BA 2015] was twelve, his father died due to a blood clot after falling off a ladder. This left him confused and angry. He had many aching questions but no answers to ease his pain. He was now the man of the house, he was told. There was no option for expressing his pain. Being fed up with people telling him what to believe, Adam made friends with people who could relate with his struggles. Soon, drugs and drinking ensued. His life began to crumble, until his Mom intervened.

This led him to a home for troubled teens. While here, Adam gave his life to Christ. Adam attends Tyndale now and serves God with his whole heart. On top of being a youth pastor, Adam is also the Chapel Coordinator, leading worship services for the Tyndale community. Adam knows and trusts that his “Heavenly Father has taken care of everything.” It’s the Father’s love that paved the way for Adam to attend Tyndale. Discover your passion and calling at Tyndale.

www.tyndale.ca


Photo © Syda_Productions

The forgotten casualties of abortion By Craig Macartney

Wherever the word “abortion” is mentioned, people bristle. Even within the Church there is a striking contrast of views, everything from apathy to support of the practice, from abolitionists to extremists. Without question, abortion is among the most hotly contested and emotional issues in society today, yet with all the lobby groups, protestors and counsellors, precious few have considered the emotional impact abortion has on men. Society brands abortion as “a women’s rights issue” and advocates are often heard chanting the phrase, “my body, my choice.” However, the life that hangs in the balance will also leave an eternal imprint on the lives of the father, grandparents and others, whether through life or in death.

seven – issue thirty-four january – february, 2014 page 11


fea tu r es

casualties of abortion

Abortion is “often seen as just a woman’s issue, but it’s not woman’s issue,” says Scott Miller, a chaplain at Union Gospel Mission Winnipeg. “It’s a family issue. The woman didn’t get pregnant on her own, there is a father and precluding him from any say in what happens to his child is wrong.” During his doctoral studies, Miller focused on ministering to fathers of aborted children. Through his research and work in recovery centres he has seen the toll abortion takes on fathers, regardless of their political views or religious beliefs. “I have never met one man who expressed positive emotion from that experience,” says Miller. “One man initially told me he was relieved, but he later felt distress, guilt and remorse. Men involved in abortion experience a variety of emotions. If they wanted the child and begged the mother to spare the child’s life they are very angry. On the other hand if they manipulated and coerced her into an abortion, the ones I have encountered always feel very guilty.” Christian musician and speaker Laurie Marks Vincent recently witnessed this pain when her son lost a child to abortion. Although her son tried to dissuade the woman involved, his views weren’t considered. “The biggest reaction I have seen is a sense of being emasculated,” Vincent explains. “It’s a sense of rejection. The thoughts that go through your head are, ‘she didn’t want me; she didn’t want my baby.’” Vincent is working on a DVD called the Love Life Project, which aims to impart love and the value of life to those considering abortion. Through her work, she noticed men who continue a relationship after an abortion do so trying to fill the void of lost fatherhood. “The only connection he knows to his baby is that woman. Eventually, breaking the relationship is part of the healing process because the reality hits that this woman and his baby are not the same. Statistically, when a baby is aborted the relationship does not survive.” Elaine Redmond, director of Birthright Ottawa, says this trend is equally true with coerced abortions. “In many relationships men are the key person making the decision. They tell her they will leave if she doesn’t abort the baby, but by making that statement they are already gone.” Redmond has seen several fathers seeking counselling as they desperately tried to convince their girlfriend not to abort their baby, but she says there are many more fathers trying to force an abortion. In counselling fathers after coerced abortions, Miller says overcoming the deep sense of guilt and regret presents a huge hurdle. Some men want to forget about the abortion, but he says the guilt and pain doesn’t allow them.

seven – issue thirty-four january – february, 2014 page 12

“It never goes away, you are a father forever—the father of a dead child, but you’re still a father,” he says. “The sooner the father reconciles himself to that, the sooner he will come into healing. A lot of guys are medicating themselves on drugs. Cocaine is the number one drug of choice for men who lost a child to abortion, because it lifts that grief temporarily.” Dave, a pro-life advocate whose name has been changed to protect his privacy, experienced two abortions in the 1980s. He believes many men turn to pornography to deal with their pain. “It’s surprising for Christians to hear, but I had never heard abortion was wrong. Even after the first abortion I didn’t know it was wrong, but my life started unravelling. I found myself using drugs and alcohol. Not long after the second abortion I was cast in a Broadway show and I completely blew out my voice. That was the end of my career. Everything I held and cherished was gone and I was left to face myself. Eventually I got caught in porn.” Dave says, at the time, he didn’t realize the connection between his abortions and addictions. Without knowing what it was about, he wrote a song that says, “You and me killed the seed that was planted in our souls. Now there is only you, and only me, and the memory of our world.” Beyond the addictions, Dave says the abortions ruined his ability to relate to women. Although both abortions were mutual decisions, he carried a deep, underlying anger towards women. “When [we] are in a state of sin we try to blame everyone else for the trouble related to our sin. It has only been through a deep healing that, at 49 years old, I was able to get married for the first time.” Dave has now been sober and free from pornography for 10 years. He spent many years as a vocal advocate for life and says, in memory of his children, he will speak-out against abortion until his dying breath. “We have a double-minded society. If I have a child, I am responsible for that child until he’s 18, but until he is born I have no right about what is done to him. On one hand we are dragged to court to pay for childcare, but on the other hand we have absolutely no say if the child is aborted or not.” Dave says prayer is the best chance of saving a child when the mother wants an abortion. He tells men to call everyone they know asking for prayer, just as though their child had cancer. He also says it’s important to learn about abortion and communicate your feelings as firmly as possible. David Crittenden, whose girlfriend had an abortion without consulting him, says the best defence is living by biblical principles and “not getting in that situation in the first place. After the fact, society protects the woman at the expense of the child and father.”


Photo © Wavebreakmedia

features

For those already facing a surprise pregnancy, Miller says there are practical ways to fight for your child’s life. He encourages men to share testimonies with their partner of those whose lives have been ruined by abortion. “Probably the best tool to dissuade a woman from killing the baby is to see an ultrasound,” he says. “You see there’s a person in there. You see the child moving, sucking his thumb and rolling around. They say ultrasounds actually have a bigger effect on the father.” Miller says another important step is investigating the procedure and clearly understanding what happens. “It’s a very nice, clinical word, but what actually happens in an abortion? There are instruments that cut and maim. That sounds cruel and awful, but it’s true. Salt is poured on the baby to kill it. There is a vacuum that sucks the baby out of the mother’s womb. Ask yourselves, ‘do I want to go through this?’” Tragically, more than 2.5 million babies have been aborted since the Supreme Court struck down all restrictions on the practice. Several provinces don’t even track the number of abortions performed in clinics, but conservative estimates state

there are 110,000 Canadian abortions every year. For those suffering the trauma of that loss, Miller says there is h ope and healing. “Some fathers think they have committed the unpardonable sin. You can’t change the fact that the child is gone, but you can be forgiven, you can receive healing for your hurt and move to a place of peace. Men tend to bury it, but the healing begins when you acknowledge the experience.” Miller explains as men open up they start working through the emotions. As they process their feelings, men generally find they are angry at the woman, the doctor, the government and themselves. Miller says if a man can move past the anger and guilt, the next step is to grieve the loss. “Whether you were against it or forced it, your child was lost and grief has to occur. If you were guilty you can ask God to forgive you. Whatever sin motivated you to push for an abortion you can bring to the Lord. That’s why Jesus died on the cross.” As men experience God’s peace and freedom, Miller encourages them to get involved in the life of a child through sponsorship, church programs or adoption. Vincent underscores the importance of forgiving those involved early in the healing process. She says forgiving the woman is important, but you also need to forgive yourself. Her husband, Scott, adds, “we know God’s forgiveness makes the way for new life. Our hope remains in Christ, so it doesn’t end here. The little one is in God’s care. Loved ones who have gone home before us are there, and will love and care for him until we finally get a chance to meet.” Miller stresses this point, as well, saying for those who know Jesus, abortion isn’t the end. “Scripture supports the fact that children who die are with the Lord. That relationship isn’t over, a child is forever. That is the healing: we mourn, but we don’t mourn as those who have no hope. One day you can be with your child.”

seven – issue thirty-four january – february, 2014 page 13


fea tu r es

Red Light, Green Light Canadian film puts the spotlight on the issue of human trafficking.

After the Ontario government began considering legalizing prostitution, filmmakers Jared and Michelle Brock felt they needed to create a film exploring the ramifications of making the business of selling sex legal. The result was, Red Light Green Light. The film was co-directed and produced by the husband and wife team, who are also co-founders of Hope for the Sold, a movement dedicated to fighting sex trafficking “one word at a time.” Together they’ve travelled to nearly 30 countries and witnessed firsthand the effects of sex trafficking. “We’ve been raising awareness about sex trafficking for about seven years now, and everyone agrees that it should be stopped,” Jared says. ”But a lot of people started asking us “if we want to stop sex trafficking, why don’t we just legalize prostitution?” Now that the Supreme Court of Canada is considering the legalization of prostitution, Brock explained the timing for the film and sharing the gritty truth they found is crucial. “We found that legalization isn’t the best option, not by a long shot,” Brock says. The filmmakers interviewed formerly prostituted women and sex-trafficked survivors, members of the Amsterdam Police Human Trafficking and Prostitution unit, psychologists and researchers, professors, activists and mothers, seeking to answer the question, how can we prevent sex trafficking before it happens? “People get to decide in the end what the best way to approach the legalization of prostitution,” the film’s editor and associate producer Dave McSporran explains, adding the issue is a murky epidemic about which many are misinformed, even in Canada. “They believe the girls on the corners want to be there, that they’re making big money,” McSporran says. “But they’ve never seen how it really is; we’ve been sheltered from these things… we need to be re-taught.”

seven – issue thirty-four january – february, 2014 page 14

Photo by TAE Photography

By Steven Sukkau


features

seven – issue thirty-four january – february, 2014 page 15


fea tu r es

Red Light, Green Light

He says prostitution is a real issue in Canada, noting aboriginals are often targeted as easy prey, with many girls made to believe they have to pay back an enormous debt to their pimp. “Those girls don’t get that money; you’re not helping them,” McSporran says. “Those girls don’t want to be there.” Yet many continue to have a dim view of prostitution, with buying sex painted as a strip club, just a place to hang out with the guys to unwind. McSporran hopes to screen the film across the country in homes, churches and community centres to educate a new generation that sees the sex industry for what it really is. “And to realize that the girl doesn’t want to be there,” says McSporran. The film’s release is timely as the Ontario government is expected to make a decision in spring on whether it will legalize prostitution. “Let’s get this out to as many Canadians as possible and protect our home for the future,” McSporran says. For that to happen Brock believes it’s time that men join the conversation and make a difference in the fight for prostituted women. “It’s really easy to settle into the routine of work, eat, sleep, repeat,” says Brock. “For men especially, who feel the weight of responsibility for caring for their families, it’s hard to imagine taking on gargantuan proportions of an issue like sex trafficking.” “I remember something that Stephen Arterburn said a few years ago at Promise Keepers: ‘Do the next right thing.’ It’s so easy to be overwhelmed by the problems of this world, but we forget that God has already overcome those problems, and that our job is to be faithful with each and every step.” One of the biggest challenges for men trying to understand the problem of sex trafficking is that men are the problem. “We are the ones who are paying for porn, going to strip clubs, visiting massage parlours,” says Brock. ”We’re the demand that keeps traffickers in business. We need to start having honest conversations about porn and lust and trafficking, because if men find freedom on this issue, it will lead to freedom for the women.” McSporran says only when the demand dries up can real change begin to happen, adding its time men stop supporting the industry, stop buying sex, stop looking at porn and get help from someone they trust to begin to rebuild that part of their lives.

seven – issue thirty-four january – february, 2014 page 16

But if prostitution is legalized in Canada, Brock says studies show a major increase in the demand for paid sex will follow. Without enough willing sex workers, pimps and traffickers create supply by luring girls into the trade, putting more women at risk. So how can men begin to fight for a better world where sex is no longer a commodity? For Brock it begins with men teaching their sons a woman is not something you can buy. “My dad made a point of getting out of his comfort zone to talk to me about girls, sex, relationships, and God,” says Brock. ”I’m so grateful that he helped me navigate through issues even as embarrassing as puberty. It was probably even more awkward for him than me, but he was willing to pay the price, again and again, to make sure I knew the truth about women, intimate relationships, and real intimacy. Boys need strong spiritual mentors, men that they can look up to.” “I guess I’d tell men to act like Jesus, at any cost,” says Brock. Another simple act like receiving a purity ring from his father along with a prayer and a commission to be a godly man had an enormous effect on his life, says Brock, part of what brought him to where he is today, championing the fight against trafficking through film. However, getting this passion project finished on a shoestring budget was fraught with challenges. “We’re reluctant filmmakers, so it would have been nice to take a sound guy and director of photography on the road, but we simply didn’t have the budget for it,” says Brock. “If success is doing the best you can with what you have, then this film was a success.” And the Brocks were willing to make sacrifices to capture the story on screen. They shot in Europe for over 100 days without staying in a hotel even once. The couple does not have a cell phone and they make a point of only buying used clothes. “This was a conscious decision,” says Brock. “We wanted to increase our margin of time and money so we could devote it to God’s calling.” God’s providence was evident during the shoot. “The global Church is amazing, and we were welcomed with open arms in every country that we visited,” says Brock. ”This saved a lot of money, obviously, but we also got to meet some truly amazing people.” With God’s help the film is finished, and Brock says all that is left is bringing as many people out to watch it as possible.


features

“Making the film was the tip of the iceberg,” says Brock. “Now we need to get every single voting-age Canadian to see it as soon as possible.” It’s a giant task, but the film may make the difference in changing Canada’s laws to better reflect the truth about trafficking, that most women are victims, and the men who purchase sex are the reason it exists. With God’s help, men will begin to take a stand in their own homes and their own hearts. Visit redlightgreenlightfilm.com to host a screening, spread the word or find a list of anti-trafficking organizations

to support. You can also sign a petition, donate to help bring the film to more locations or find forms to contact your local government representative and encourage them to protect vulnerable women and children and make Canada a world leader in the fight against human trafficking.

Steven Sukkau is a multimedia journalist for the Winkler Times in Winkler, Manitoba.

At EduDeo Ministries, we believe mission trips are as much about BEING & LEARNING as they are about DOING.

HANDS HELP ANOTHER NATION DEVELOP SCHOOLS

GO. BE. LEARN. RETURN. RESPOND.

MISSION TRIPS. DONE WELL. To join a HANDS team, contact: hands@edudeo.com

Those who SEEK the Lord UNDERSTAND JUSTICE completely. Proverbs 28:5

edudeo.com

seven – issue thirty-four january – february, 2014 page 17


Photo by Caelie_Frampton/Flickr

fea tu r es

seven – issue thirty-four january – february, 2014 page 18


features

Indigenous issues:

From education to reconciliation Understanding injustice beyond popular portrayals By Aaron Epp

When flood waters swept across southern Alberta last June, Dan Rossi was eager to help those affected. Still, Rossi, a committed Christian and member of the Calgary Police Service, asked God not to send him to Siksika Nation, a First Nations reserve located east of Calgary whose six communities were hit hard by the flooding. “As a police officer, my views on First Nations people were very limited to the five per cent who are involved with drug and alcohol addiction,” Rossi says. “I think a lot of the information I’ve received about First Nations people came from colleagues … [who would use] derogatory terms. It wasn’t something I would repeat—just loving people the way I do, I wouldn’t reduce someone to a label of term—but I was frustrated with the addiction, the abuse and the entitlement I would see” working as a police officer. While Rossi’s views have changed over the course of his work in Siksika, they are indicative of the way many Canadians—Christians included—view indigenous peoples, which includes First Nations, Inuit and Métis. Terry LeBlanc believes that Christians are often very uneducated about indigenous peoples. Even when they are, that education is largely built on stereotypes perpetuated by the mainstream media. “Media portrayals…don’t paint the whole picture,” says LeBlanc, a Mi’kmaq/Acadian who is currently the chair of the North American Institute for Indigenous Theological Studies. “People take snippets of news and information they have received and create a picture. Unfortunately for many Christians, that is a narrowly-framed picture that says, ‘All First Nations people are this way,’ when really, they aren’t.” This narrow focus prevents Christians from understanding how indigenous peoples got to be where they are today. Many believe that enough work has been done to repair relationships with indigenous peoples, who are still affected by the deep impact of Canada’s residential school system. “Many people believe, ‘If those [indigenous] folks just got over it and moved on, we’d all be okay,’” LeBlanc says. The issues are more complex than that.

seven – issue thirty-four january – february, 2014 page 19


fea tu r es Mark MacDonald, National Indigenous Anglican Bishop for the Anglican Church of Canada

LeBlanc acknowledges that indigenous communities are plagued by a number of issues. “These social ills wouldn’t be specifically different for First Nations peoples than the rest of Canadians, other than they appear more obvious given the focus media and government agencies tend to give First Nations, Inuit and Métis communities,” LeBlanc says. “We struggle with the same kinds of things that other Canadians struggle with.” Those issues include family breakdown, violence, poverty, and health issues that range from common diseases related to aging, to more devastating illnesses like HIV and AIDS. Indigenous communities also experience high rates of teen pregnancy, LeBlanc notes. The greater level of transience in relationships today means that children are being born to teenage and young adult women who do not have a committed spouse or partner who can help them raise their child. LeBlanc says that indigenous peoples experience these social ills “in a far more extensive and intense way” due in large part to land treaties, made over the past 250 years, not being honoured. Then there is the matter of residential schools, which, during their 150 years of operation, extricated First Nations, Inuit and Métis children from their families and attempted to assimilate them into the rest of society. “Even though residential schools have not operated since the early to mid-1990s, they left many aboriginal families—if not most—with very fractured sets of family relationships and an increasing number of dysfunctional behaviour in child-rearing and management,” LeBlanc says. Mark MacDonald, National Indigenous Anglican Bishop for the Anglican Church of Canada, believes that a sense of balance and wholeness needs to be restored to indigenous communities. “There are issues of basic infrastructure, like water and housing, which are absolutely necessary [to address], but also, it’s important to remember that it was the policy of the government and many churches to disrupt indigenous communities and families,” MacDonald says. “On one level they thought indigenous people would die off soon, but on another level, they felt it was in the best interest of indigenous people to assimilate as quickly as they could into the broader population.” Indigenous communities are trying to recover from these policies, MacDonald adds. People often use words like ‘self-determination’ and ‘sovereignty,’ but MacDonald recalls hearing one elder say that what self-determination means for indigenous peoples is that they become what God wants them to be: people who are healthy, whole and faithful. “I don’t think that’s too far off from the agenda right now,” MacDonald says. “A lot of what [indigenous peoples are] about is being a good dad, being a good spouse, being a faithful person [and] living out the purpose that God intended.” One of the biggest factors that many people, including Christians, get hung up on is the issue of leadership corruption among indigenous communities and governing bodies. While few would dispute the need for clean water and acceptable housing, reports of communities mishandling finances often seven – issue thirty-four january – february, 2014 page 20

lead to indifference among non-indigenous Canadians, who might ask “why should I help them if they can’t even help themselves?” While such views may not be entirely unfounded, MacDonald is quick to point out, “there is great diversity from one place to another; it is difficult to characterize the whole by the grossly visible, as in Toronto right now—do all mayors smoke crack?” “Many First Nations leaders are unapologetically and boldly Christ centred,” he adds. To better understand issues of leadership corruption, it’s important to recognize the historical factors that have played a part. “We are seeing the results of generations of forced and relentless disruption…To now say, as so many do, that indigenous peoples are solely to blame for their corruption and difficulties is, as National Chief Shawn Atleo said, like ‘breaking someone’s leg and blaming them for limping.’” So what can Christians do to help? Steve Heinrichs believes it is important for non-indigenous people to recognize their privilege, and that they are beneficiaries of a system that is unfair. “We didn’t choose this way of being, but it’s what we inherited,” says Heinrichs, Director of Indigenous Relations for Mennonite Church Canada. “We need to redress the wrongs of the past because they’re still [going on]. …This is not abstraction for native communities. This is real life.” Many people feel a sense of paralysis or guilt surrounding these topics, Heinrichs says. Educating oneself and building relationships with indigenous peoples are steps in the right direction. He points to an essay by Leanne Simpson, a writer of Mississauga Nishnaabeg ancestry, titled “Liberated people, liberated lands.” In the essay—published in Buffalo Shout, Salmon Cry, a collection of writing on indigenous topics that Heinrichs edited—Simpson argues that the Canadian education system teaches children very little about indigenous peoples. “I hope that Canadians take it upon themselves to learn a more faithful history of this place and to teach their children


features Steve Heinrichs, Director of Indigenous Relations for Mennonite Church Canada

to recognize these injustices and to understand how they contribute to the colonial legacy,” Simpson writes. “I hope that Canadians learn to acknowledge whose land they are living on, and to recognize how their presence on our land interrupts our ways of being in this world. I hope they take up the responsibility to prevent further intrusion into indigenous lives, and, if called upon, I hope they will lend their support to various expressions of Indigenous nationhood. Ultimately, choosing to resist the colonial system means making some costly choices in mind, spirit, and body—individually and collectively—as we begin to recognize that Canadians are living on top of someone else’s home, and as we try to work out the implications of that truth.” LeBlanc agrees, saying he is surprised at how many people have not familiarized themselves with the information from the Truth and Reconciliation Commission of Canada, an initiative that seeks to inform all Canadians about the atrocities committed in the residential school system. “It’s curious, because Christians should be concerned with truth—and certainly, given the gospels—concerned with reconciliation,” LeBlanc says. “Education beyond sound bites found in the media is key.” MacDonald urges non-indigenous Christians to get to know their indigenous brothers and sisters. He notes that one of the most Christianized ethnic groups in Canada is indigenous peoples. “I think people would be very pleasantly surprised at the level of fellowship that’s possible, and the level of spiritual commitment they will immediately see when they meet indigenous people,” MacDonald says. “For most indigenous people I know—even ones struggling with chemical dependency—the dearest thing to their heart is to be a good dad [or] be a good mom. I think they appreciate and enjoy fellowship—especially with Christian people.”

flood-ravaged community, he has found a broader perspective on indigenous peoples. He has gotten to know a people who are proud of their rich heritage—people who are willing to work at the problems and issues they are faced with. “I’ve been extremely blessed to work with amazing people,” he says. “It really opened my eyes to the resiliency of the Siksika people and changed the exposure I had from policing.” LeBlanc cautions that solving the issues facing indigenous communities, and working toward reconciliation, requires patience. “As a person involved in ministry 39 years, I know in mainstream Christianity…there’s a great deal of impatience,” he says. These problems were not created overnight, and “we’re not going to get out of it overnight,” LeBlanc says. MacDonald adds that he is encouraged by what he sees when it comes to communication between indigenous peoples and non-indigenous Christians. “There is no situation in Canada that calls more urgently for reconciliation, and it’s not good that the church be silent on this issue,” he says. “The church should aggressively move forward to pursue an agenda of reconciliation. “I think that’s really what our destiny in God is.”

Getting to know indigenous peoples, and the education he has received from the relationships he has built, has certainly made a difference for Dan Rossi. By working alongside members of the Siksika Nation as they work to rebuild their seven – issue thirty-four january – february, 2014 page 21


fea tu r es

Porn: It’s not about sex Seeking fulfillment in all the wrong places

By Michael Cusick

My junior year of high school, I made my first serious effort to overcome my addiction to porn. One day, when no one else was home, I grabbed my stash of hardcore porn magazines and carried them down to the basement incinerator where we burned our garbage. With a strange mixture of anxiety and pride, I opened the incinerator, placed the magazines inside, and said good-bye to my struggles with lust, masturbation, and pornography. I lit a match and held it to a centerfold that burned with the fiery intensity it used to ignite in me. As I closed the lid, I imagined my compulsive sin going up in smoke. You can probably guess what happened next. Months later I repeated the same pattern, except with a new stash of porn. And the struggle continued for two more decades. So many men struggle in the same way with a sincere effort to quit because they believe their lust and pornography problem is about sex. But as strange as it may seem, the problem is not about sex. So what is it about? Two thousand years ago, Paul offered guidance to a sexually broken and confused church under his care: “There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact” (1 Cor. 6:16 MSG). Paul was explaining to these men and women who were involved in adultery, prostitution, and virtually every other kind of sexual sin, “What you’re doing is not actually about sex.” Beyond the obvious—bodies seeking and experiencing pleasure—all of us reach toward something we cannot see, touch, or comprehend on the physical level. This truth is utterly profound. Understanding it helps us gain insight into why our sexuality can be so compulsive. If we seek on the physical level what can only be obtained on a spiritual level, then we set ourselves up for a never-ending cycle that only leads to desperation, despair, and bondage. Like all idols, porn promises us something we desire. In reality, it overpromises and underdelivers. From my experiences, research, and observations, porn promises fulfillment of five key desires, all without responsibility.

seven – issue thirty-four january – february, 2014 page 22

Porn promises validation of our manhood without requiring strength. When talking with men about their struggle with porn, I’ll often ask, “Where in your life do you typically feel the strongest and manliest?” Most of the time this stumps them because they don’t have a category in their minds for thinking about their strength and masculinity. But then, almost to a man, they relate to feeling strong at work, playing sports, doing ministry, or engaging in some other hobby. In more than 20 years of counselling, however, I’ve never heard a man initially respond by saying that he felt the most manly and strong in relation to his wife, fiancée, or girlfriend. Most men don’t feel terribly strong or adequate in the presence of a real, live woman. And yet, God designed our masculine souls to be energized by offering ourselves on behalf of our female counterparts. Enter porn, which allows us to have our cake (“I feel strong and masculine”) and eat it too (no strength or masculinity required). “What makes pornography so addictive,” writes John Eldredge, “is that more than anything else in a man’s life, it makes him feel like a man without ever requiring a thing of him.” The allure of porn is that it makes us feel like men—contrary to a woman in real life—and it never rolls its eyes at us or turns away in bed. Struggles with porn confirm our suspicions that we do not have what it takes to be a man. C. S. Lewis understood this when he wrote that every time a man masturbates, he chips away at his manhood. Porn promises sexual fulfillment without relationship. A prominent billboard on the corner of a major intersection where I live advertises an adult store. Its message is short and sweet: “Cheaper Than Dating!” It may seem funny or clever at first, but the message couldn’t be any clearer: Do you desire sexual pleasure? Don’t even bother with a real woman. Just satisfy your appetite from our all-youcan-eat buffet of endless sexual variety. One of my claims to fame in high school was that I never went to a dance and never went on a date. Once, a girl I actually had a crush on asked me to a dance. I wanted to go with her, but I lied and told her I was busy.


iStockphoto

features

A few times in high school I got close to pursuing girls I liked. But just when my confidence reached a certain point, I would find myself inescapably drawn to porn, would masturbate, and would ultimately lose any sense of confidence that I had anything to offer a woman. With my regular intake of soul steroids, I steadily chipped away at my manhood, convincing myself that I didn’t need a girlfriend. Even though, deep inside, I desperately longed for one. Porn promises intimacy without requiring risk and suffering. I recently asked a client to tell me how he felt about conflict in his marriage and closest relationships. Without hesitating he related that he wrote “Avoid Conflict” at the top of his to do list every day. We both laughed. Then I asked, “Do you see the connection between your goal to avoid conflict and your addiction to porn and lust?” At first he gave me a blank stare. Then the lights started to come on. He realized that he had never really exposed his heart to his wife, family, coworkers, and friends. To avoid conflict he never shared what he really thought, felt, or wanted. As a young boy growing up in a family that prized heartless compliance and maintaining a rigid religious appearance, he learned to avoid disappointing others. In his marriage, rather than risk moving toward his wife and sharing his heart, he turned to porn to meet his need for intimacy. Behind his struggle for porn stood a self-protective commitment to keep his heart safe from the disappointment and rejection he had come to know so well. C. S. Lewis once wrote, “The only place outside of heaven where you can be perfectly safe from the dangers of love is

hell.” Though at first they seem like a slice of heaven, porn and lust are a kind of hell. They offer us false intimacy, safeguarding our hearts from the perils of true intimacy. But porn ultimately makes our hearts incapable of the very thing we long for. Our hearts become incapable of love. Porn promises passion and life without connection to your soul. In the film American Beauty, Lester Burnham is a 42-year-old office worker who is going through a midlife crisis and has lost his soul. At the beginning of the film, he narrates his life, divulging that he will be dead within one year. “In a way I’m dead already,” he relates. “Look at me. Jerking off in the shower. This will be the high point of my day. It’s all downhill from there.” Is this scene just an exploitive attempt at crude humor by some faithless Hollywood writer? I wish I could say this was the case. But for many men, porn is the high point of their day. It offers a reliable way to feel passion and life. Even if just for a moment. Of course, as human beings created in God’s image, we were designed to experience life. Jesus said that we were meant to live life to the full (see John 10:10). But for men who have lost their souls, the moments of escape, relief, or validation from porn become a substitute for the life Christ offers. Porn promises power over women without responsibility and humility. A former client was mystified as to why porn held him in its grip. But his marriage was in serious trouble, and he was highly motivated to get to the bottom of his addiction. “I know it’s pretty immature,” he confessed.

seven – issue thirty-four january – february, 2014 page 23


fea tu r es

It’s not about sex

“But masturbation is my way of sticking it to my wife.” When he and his wife argued, if she overspent, or if she declined his sexual advances, he turned to porn in order to make her pay. As our conversations continued, the focus shifted from porn to the deeper issue of why he felt so powerless with his wife. For him, porn was only a symptom of a much deeper issue related to his broken masculinity. A man may feel legitimate power in the presence of a woman. But true power is never power over a woman. A man seeks power over a woman because he is empty, needy, and broken, and believes he must use her to fill himself. True power, the power that Jesus consistently demonstrated, is power under. True power never devalues, dehumanizes, coerces, or controls. Instead, it serves, gives sacrificially, and acts for the good of the other. Power under is the way of the cross, the way of humility. As men, we are called to live out our legitimate power with responsibility and humility. Porn promises comfort and care without depending on others. Raymond was a single seminary student. A charismatic and respected leader on campus, no one would ever suspect him of spending over five hours every day involved in porn and cybersex. When we met, he wondered if he was even a Christian. Years of battling lust had left him defeated, and now he realized he needed serious help. I listened to Raymond’s story and learned that he grew up an only child, raised by a single mom. To make ends meet, she worked two jobs, leaving her with little time or energy for Raymond. By fourth grade, he had learned to wash his clothes and cook for himself. He spent several nights a week alone after school and regularly put himself to bed. Television became his main source of comfort. One night Raymond discovered that he could turn to the adult channels and listen to sexually explicit dialogue. As he grew into his teenage years, he traded sexually explicit dialogue for online porn. The end of his addiction began when he identified porn as the only way he could experience care and nurturing. It had never occurred to him that beneath his shame-filled compulsions were a hunger and thirst for something legitimate and good. If you’re struggling with porn, have you ever asked yourself what’s really going on beneath your craving? What is your heart’s real desire, the legitimate need desperately crying out to be heard? Not only can you overcome your sexual struggles, but you can also enjoy life at a level you may have never experienced. It’s called joy. Michael Cusick is a professional counsellor and spiritual director, Promise Keepers Canada speaker and the author of Surfing for God: Discovering the Divine Desire Beneath Sexual Struggle. He, his wife Julianne, and their two children, live in Littleton, Colorado.

Call Toll Free: 1-888-665-6936

Protects EVERY device in your home network. Customize settings by individual user.

more info at:

www.webfilter.onlinesupply.ca

AJ & J Furniture Inc. is a very uniquely qualified company, providing seating and other furniture solutions to the religious and judicial markets in Canada. Solutions include chairs, curved & straight pews, theater style seating, tables, lecterns, altars, baptismal fonts and much, much more. Regardless of the need, AJ & J Furniture Inc. has the solution for your worship space, fellowship hall, banquet hall or courtroom. We represent the very best the industry has to offer. Our line of products are from the leading manufacturers in North America. New Holland Church Furniture, SERIES Seating and Chairs 4 Worship by Uniflex are all recognized internationally for their innovation, quality and craftsmanship. We thank you for your consideration and look forward to the opportunity of working with you!

Andrew Gale, President, AJ & J Furniture Inc. 166 Guildwood Dr. Hamilton, ON L9C 6S5 C: 289-439-2900 | T: 1-866-813-8515 | F: 289-204-0720 E: andrew@ajjfurniture.com | W: www.ajjfurniture.com seven – issue thirty-four january – february, 2014 page 24


sports scene

Goalie’s faith helps him cope with change Leafs’ Reimer stands tall between the pipes By Scott Taylor

So when the Jonathan Bernier challenge was sent his way, Reimer reacted exactly as a committed Christian athlete should react. He worked hard, maintained a great attitude and went out to do his best and win his job back. Over the first 15 games of the 2013-14 season, Reimer was outstanding. He had a 4-1-0 with a .942 save percentage. Bernier, meanwhile, went 6-4-0 with .933 save percentage. At 10-5-0, the Leafs were tied for first in the Atlantic Division. “It’s been pretty good,” Reimer says. “I don’t know if you’d call us ‘best buddies,’ but we’re good. There is certainly no animosity. We’re just having fun stopping pucks and right now we’re pretty much going back and forth.” It has been said that “James Reimer came from nowhere to become the starting goaltender for the Leafs,” and that is quite true. Morweena isn’t “nowhere” but you can see “nowhere,” from the hockey rink in Reimer’s family’s backyard. It’s a tiny community in Manitoba’s Interlake, home to about 150-200 people. Most attend Morweena Evangelical Mennonite Church. “I grew up in a small Christian home in a small Christian community,” Reimer says. “I was very lucky. In my community, everyone was committed to their faith. The whole town was like living in one big Bible college. I’ve always been committed to the church and I’ve always committed to God.” He’s also been committed to hockey. In particular, he’s always been a goalie.

“It was my brother Mark that put me in goal,” Reimer recalles. “The only way I could play with the older kids is if I played goal. It’s funny but I loved it right from the start.” His parents, Marlene and Harold, soon built a rink in the backyard. Not long after, James begged his mom to let him join his first organized team. Before he knew it he was playing for the Red Deer Rebels in the Western Hockey League and he seemed to be on his way to the top. But the fact is, it’s never been easy and Reimer himself will tell you that if it were not for his faith, he’d never have come close to making it to the NHL or staying there.

Credit: Photo by bridgetds/Flickr

James Reimer has spent his life facing challenges. So when the Toronto Maple Leafs decided to go and find a “better” goaltender, Reimer turned to the same person he’s always turned to for help: Jesus. For Reimer, it’s simple and it always works. And now it appears that the Leafs’ search for a better goalie might have turned up a winner—James Reimer. Last May, the Leafs decided that Reimer, who hails from the small Mennonite community of Morweena, Manitoba, wasn’t necessarily their number one goaltender. Even though he’d been the Leafs goalie for three seasons, head coach Randy Carlyle thought he could do better. So the Leafs cut a deal to acquire Jonathan Bernier, the highly regarded number two goalie in Los Angeles. It seemed that Bernier might be anointed the number one net-minder in Toronto and if Reimer stayed with the team, he’d have to fight for his spot. But through it all, Reimer didn’t waiver. He has a wonderful, supportive family, a terrific wife, April, with whom he shares his faith, and a complete and total dedication to his church and God. “This isn’t the first time in my career where I’ve been challenged and it won’t be the last,” he says. “There were some very dark times in my career. There were times in Red Deer when I never thought I’d be good enough. When I was drafted, I went to the American Hockey League and then all the way down to the East Coast League. If it weren’t for my faith, I never would have been able to find the courage and perseverance to stick to it and believe in myself. “But I have that faith. I believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and because of that, whatever happens, it will be what He wants for me.”

Written on Reimer’s goalie mask is the verse Matthew 14:31. He lives by it: “Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. ‘You of little faith,’ he said, ‘why did you doubt?’” James Reimer doubts nothing. And that’s why he’s still between the pipes in Toronto. Scott Taylor is a Winnipeg-based sportswriter and broadcaster. seven – issue thirty-four january – february, 2014 page 25


the single life

Singleness in society How every man can play a part By Paul H. Boge

We hear about the children starving overseas. We see the homeless person in our cities. We read about people struggling to beat an addiction. And deep down inside we sense within ourselves an inclination to get involved. Yet for some reason we hesitate. We care. We do. But still, we hear reasons for not getting involved. It’s the government’s responsibility. I can’t spare the money. Please, not another commitment to add to my schedule. I don’t have the required talents to help. Other people are more qualified. I won’t make a difference. Social issues are myriad. Substance abuse, abortion, local and third world poverty, education, suicide, unemployment… So what are we as single men to do in response to social issues? Eric Metaxas in his book 7 Men: And the Secret of Their Greatness writes: “If we think of the fatherhood of God, we get a picture of someone who is strong and loving and who sacrifices himself for those he loves…God’s idea of making men strong was so that they would use that strength to protect women and children and anyone else.” Metaxas goes on to say that the reason he chose men like George Washington, William Wilberforce, Dietrich Bonhoeffer and others is that they “evidenced one particular quality: that of surrendering themselves to a higher purpose of giving something away that they might have kept.” What are we hanging onto that prevents us from being used? How do we break free of that? We need to listen carefully to God’s call to find out where and how he wants

seven – issue thirty-four january – february, 2014 page 26

us to get involved, and then we need to surrender our own interests for whatever he places on our hearts to do. His calling is heard most clearly when we come to the end of ourselves. As single men, we are sometimes in a better position to dedicate time to a particular cause. But which one? We can start by prayerfully asking ourselves: What injustices speak to me? Which injustices cause me to rise up and want to protect those who are disadvantaged? But what if we are not on the giving end of the social issues equation? What if we are in trouble ourselves and are in need of help? Our culture places a greater emphasis on “I” than it does on “we.” And part of the baggage that comes from that mentality is that we think we should be independent of one another, something the Bible nowhere reinforces. In the face of trouble, we need to have the courage to ask for help. It is often when we at our lowest that God does his greatest work. Moses’ 40 years in the wilderness. Paul blinded by the Light. Peter after his denial. Great men became great only after Christ could become great within them. God loves you and has greatness in store for you— greatness by his definition which is: Christ in you the hope of glory. It is in letting go and acknowledging we can’t do it on our own that Christ becomes our all in all. Singleness is a gift, though it is not always described that way. It is an opportunity to serve—to be used by God to love others and correct wrongs in this world. To show compassion to people who might otherwise not receive it.

But a word of caution. If not getting involved in social issues is a problem, so is becoming over-involved. How so? Working against social evils is, in and of itself, not the goal. The goal is Christ. The danger comes when we focus only on social problems and take our eyes off Christ, making the improvement of people our mission at the expense of their true transformation in Him. Harry Lehotsky nearly died of a drug overdose in New York before he came to one of Winnipeg’s toughest areas to show love to homeless people, drug addicts and prostitutes and to confront drug dealers. He didn’t do it to become an urban saint. He did it because Christ told him to. And where Christ calls there is incredible joy. Which brings us to the challenge of asking ourselves this question: What has God placed on my heart? Is there an injustice someone is suffering that causes you to want to make it right? Wilberforce had to rise above culture to end slavery. But first he had to hear God’s call on his heart. And with that he could withstand all opposition both from within and from without. And so can we.

Paul H. Boge is a filmmaker, engineer, and the author of Father to the Fatherless: The Charles Mulli Story. He’s single and lives in Winnipeg, Manitoba. paul@paulboge.com


out of my depth

Just be just Action—clear, simple, costly action—makes all the difference in the world By Mark Buchanan

Our language is riddled with quirks. It abounds in ironies. Fat chance and thin chance mean the same thing. To raise a building and to raze a building are opposites. To be sold out and to sell out describe, respectively, utmost loyalty or ugliest treachery. And then there’s the word just. As an adjective, it means true, right, fair, noble: a just man, a just cause, a just action. As an adverb, it means (sometimes) merely, only, barely: it’s just me, I’m just asking, let’s just pray. The first just is robust, the second tentative. The first has fierceness, the second timidity. One asserts, the other apologizes. One declares, the other mumbles. The irony has seeped into our thinking about what is just. Our justice—mine, at least—has become hesitant. It’s become timid and apologetic. When the prophet Amos cries out, “Let justice roll on like a river” (Amos 5:24), a part of me leaps up and shouts, “Yes!” But another part shrinks back and mutters, “Umm… would it be okay if justice just dribbled out like a leaky faucet?” This hesitancy, no doubt, has much to do with our culture’s fuzziness about ethical touchstones and its nastiness about discussing them. We live in a world of competing ideologies. Everyone has their own version of “the good, the true, the beautiful,” and the one sin left in our time is to impose your version on someone else. The only absolute is that there are no absolutes. Your truth is your truth, mine is mine. In such a world, few of us want to say, with clarity and authority, this is right and this is wrong (and those who do often say it with such rancor and anger that their

tone obscures their meaning). We fear speaking out against anything lest we arouse the vengeance of the mob. Every burning social issue—GMOs, gay rights, food security, genetic therapy, stem cell research, the legalization of prostitution and recreational drugs, and more—is a house of booby traps and tripwires: who dares wander in? These issues are so polarized, our options reduce to one of two things: stay quiet, or argue loudly. But is there a third way? The way, not of debate, but of action? Can we just be just? The Apostle Paul, in several places, calls us to inhabit this messed up unjust world in ways that both subvert the world and win it. In Philippians, he calls an entire Church to “shine like stars in the sky” as they “hold firmly to the word of life” in a “warped and crooked generation” (Phil. 2:14-16). In Romans, he calls a whole congregation to not be “overcome by evil“ but to overcome “evil with good” (Rom. 12:21). This shining and the overcoming are not accomplished through debate, or legislation, or digging in our heels. They’re accomplished through action— clear, simple, costly action. Just being just. Jesus gives a vivid picture of what that looks like at street level. It’s in Luke 10. A Teacher of the Law wants to hang Jesus up in an abstract debate about justice. “Who is my neighbour,” the lawyer asks him. That question’s been doing the rounds. It addresses a burning—and deeply polarizing—issue of the day. Learned men spend hours, days, weeks, eons arguing about it: Can non-Jews be neighbours, or only Jews? Should apostate Jews be included, or

only faithful ones? And who decides the standards of faithfulness? The Pharisees? The Sadducees? The Herodians (no, surely not them)? They argue at such length, with such vehemence, that none of them ever actually has to find a neighbour and love him as they would themselves. Jesus doesn’t argue. He tells a story—we know that story as The Good Samaritan. Samaritans were the last people on the lawyer’s list of possible neighbours. They were the last people any Jew would call “good.” They were scum, riffraff, dregs. The only good one was a dead one. Jesus makes this one the hero. This Samaritan doesn’t sit around debating terms of reference. He doesn’t split hairs over ethical models. While the priest and the Levite in the story avoid doing anything, the Samaritan—spontaneously, it seems—commits a clear, simple, costly act. He helps, at great risk and great cost, a victim of injustice. That Samaritan shines like a star in the universe. He overcomes evil with good. He just acts justly. And at that time, in that place, for that man, justice rolls on like a river. “Go and do likewise,” Jesus says. It’s often that simple, and that hard, to make all the difference in the world, if even for just one person. Just be just.

Mark Buchanan is associate pastor of pastoral theology at Ambrose Seminary in Calgary and is the author of Your Church is Too Safe.

seven – issue thirty-four january – february, 2014 page 27


p ow er pl a y

Great games. Great toys. Great gadgets. Reviews by Sandy McMurray

GROOMING WITH LASERS

SMART SLOT CARS

anki.com The humble slot car racing set, like the model railroad, was once a staple of suburban basements. Kids (and dads) would snap together sections of plastic track to build an oval loop or a figure eight, complete with tunnels and overpasses. When the track was ready and the cars were in their slots, the race began with the squeeze of a trigger. Hand-held wired controllers were used to control the throttle. If you went too fast, your car would spin out and fly off the track at the next big turn. Anki DRIVE brings slot-car racing to the 21st century, combining video game racing with real toy cars. The action happens on a physical track but the controllers are digital. Each player needs an iPhone, iPad, or iPod touch to control their car using the free Anki DRIVE app. You can play Anki DRIVE against your friends, or against a self-driving AI-enabled opponent. The more you race, the more points you earn, which you redeem to upgrade your car’s weapons and capabilities. The $200 Anki DRIVE starter kit comes with two cars and chargers, a 3½’ x 8 ½’ track, and tire cleaner. You can race up to four cars at once. (Extra cars and iOS devices are sold separately.)

seven – issue thirty-four january – february, 2014 page 28

philips.ca The world’s first laser-guided beard trimmer is here! The StyleXpert BOBBLE BRUSH Beardtrimmer 9000 from Philips is a $100 quirky.com rechargeable grooming tool that promises Where do you keep your toothbrush? Is precise, symmetrical results. “The unique it clean? Is it fun? laser guidance system projects a sharp Bobble Brush is a toothbrush stand line of light to pre-align your style before that keeps your brush upright and clean. you trim.” Its rubberized, weighted base prevents The LED display shows your chosen Bobble Brush from sliding around, and length setting in millimetres, so you can the curved shape makes it easy for Bobble create carefully groomed stubble. It comes with a detail comb for precision Brush to bounce back instead of falling and a beard comb for regular trimming. over when it’s bumped. The “frictionThe Beardtrimmer 9000 is water-refitted slot” in Bobble Brush is designed to fit most standard, non-electronic brushes. sistant, runs for 60 minutes cordless, and comes with a 2-year guarantee. None The top and mid sections unscrew and of that matters, of course. They had me at detach for easy cleanup. “laser-guided.” If you want to encourage a cleaner, longer brushing routine, you might prefer CAR TUNES Bobble Brush Timer, which combines a toothbrush stand with a two minute timer. belkin.com CD sales are down and Bobble Brush sells for $13. Bobble downloads are up, Brush Timer sells for $17. but the digital music revolution still hasn’t reached some car stereos. While new vehicles now offer Bluetooth or an AUX jack, many older models have no way to connect to a cell phone or digital music player. Belkin offers several accessories to bridge this gap including the TuneBase Hands-Free AUX, an iPhone dock that plugs into the


power pla y

car’s auxiliary jack. TuneBase AUX provides hands-free calling and music playback for cars without Bluetooth connectivity. For older vehicles like mine that have no AUX input, Belkin makes TuneBase Hands-Free FM. This iPhone dock uses an FM transmitter powered by your car’s 12-volt lighter outlet to send your tunes to the radio. TuneBase FM scans to find the best available FM frequency in your area then takes over that spot on the dial. To hear your music, you just select that frequency on the car’s FM radio. Both TuneBase devices have an adjustable cradle with Lightning connector, so you can keep your iPhone 5 or iPod touch handy for Maps or GPS navigation. TuneBase FM sells for about $100. TuneBase AUX goes for $80.

AFFORDABLE LUXURY

motorola.ca The latest smart phones offer premium features at premium prices. The iPhone 5c, Galaxy S4, and BlackBerry Z10 will set you back $600 or more without a contract. The iPhone 5s and Nokia 1020 go for upwards of $700. Most people don’t have that kind of money to spend on a phone, but there are very few affordable options for price-conscious consumers. Motorola (now owned by Google) is betting that there’s a market for a premium phone at a lower price. The company predicts that 500 million people worldwide will spend about $200 on a new phone this year. With that in mind, Motorola and Google has introduced Moto G, a

well-built Android phone with remarkable features and a remarkable price tag. Moto G includes a 4.5-inch HD display, all-day battery life, and a great web browsing experience. Moto G comes with Android 4.3 and a guaranteed upgrade to 4.4. Unlocked and off contract, Moto G will sell for just $200. It’s available now from TELUS and Koodo in Canada.

IMPOSSIBLE PHOTOS

the-impossible-project.com In 2008, the last Polaroid film production plant was purchased by a group of former employees. They have been working ever since to invent and produce new film materials for traditional Polaroid cameras. They called this work The Impossible Project. One of their new products is The Impossible Instant Lab, a gadget that turns any digital image into a real instant photo. It works like a combination scanner and printer. You select the photo you want to print, position it on the screen of your iPhone or iPod touch, then position your device on the top of the Instant Lab. A few seconds later, your instant photo emerges and develops before your eyes, just like an old Polaroid. The Impossible Instant Lab sells for about $300. If you buy one, remember that it’s not a digital camera. You also need to buy Impossible instant film to make it work.

NEST PROTECT

nest.com The first product from Nest was a smart thermostat. It costs more than a regular thermostat, but it gives you more options, including the ability to make changes remotely, using an iOS app. The next product from Nest is a smart smoke detector and carbon monoxide alarm. Everyone agrees that smoke detectors are useful and essential. Everyone also knows that they can be annoying. Most smoke detectors can’t tell the difference

between burnt toast and a burning building, and they chirp when their battery runs low (usually late at night, when you’re trying to sleep). Nest Protect is different. When a problem is detected, Nest Protect responds with a warning called a Heads-Up. It lights up yellow and speaks with a human voice, telling you where smoke is or when carbon monoxide levels are rising. This gives you an earlier warning if there’s an emergency, or allows you to silence Nest Protect if it’s just a nuisance alarm. No more frantically swinging towels at the smoke alarm to quiet it down. If there’s a nuisance alarm, just stand under Nest Protect and wave your arm to hush the alert.

Built-in Wi-Fi lets you control the settings and check battery life using a mobile app. WiFi also allows one Nest Protect to talk to another. In the event of an emergency, all of the Protects in the house will go off, using a human voice to let you know there’s an emergency. Protect is also a handy night-light. A motion sensor makes it glow briefly when you pass by at night. That light can be disabled for bedroom use. Each Nest Protect sells for about $130. Sandy McMurray writes about games, toys, and gadgets at funspot.ca seven – issue thirty-four january – february, 2014 page 29

Cool Tuls


what women want

Recession romance Nine terrific ideas to wow your wife By Pam Farrell

Romance is not about lavish gifts or expensive dates; true romance is taking the time to speak to the heart of the one you love. Here is a top ten list of ideas to create a “five star date on a one star budget”: Anticipate with her. My husband Bill will often use the days preceding a date to woo me. He will e-mail or text an invitation three or four days ahead; the next day, send a note telling me how much he is looking forward to my company; then maybe a funny e-mail, a reminder of how much we love to laugh together; and the following day a small rose, a greeting card or note on the mirror, telling me about a particular outfit he loves because I look “hot” in it. When we get to the actual date sometimes he has a rose and a romantic note. After the date, he follows up with a thank you card! This kind of effort wins Bill romance relationship points for months! (If you have little kids and arrange childcare—bonus points!) Move her. Have a candlelit picnic in an unusual location, like your rooftop or overlooking the lake. Go on a photo date and snap pictures of each other all over the city. Frame your favourite and give it to your spouse with a note. Send others as postcards or “social media” posts or e-mails to each other all year. Thank her. List on sticky notes, A to Z, the reasons you love your mate. Create a personalized greeting card. One Valentine’s Day, Bill made personalized greeting cards based on the titles of books we have written. I got one each hour all evening. For example, inside one with the cover of Love to Love You was a list of all the places Bill had “loved to love me.” I still have those cards.

seven – issue thirty-four january – february, 2014 page 30

Woo her. Check a poetry book out of the library or grab a few poems off the Internet, find a romantic spot, and read them to one another. Write a song or poem and perform it for the one you love. Even an original version of “Roses are red…” can be a treasure when it’s from the heart. Borrow plants and turn your patio into a private garden retreat and enjoy a quiet dinner. Or bake something yummy together. Reminisce with her. Reminisce over old photos or wedding pictures. Set the mood and talk by candlelight. Put on your special song and waltz around the living room. Go on a walk and find a romantic place to dance under the moonlight. Have your children play waiter and waitress and serve a romantic dinner, then tell them the story of how you fell in love. Dream with her. Bring romance home from around the world. Create a theme date by eating food from any another country; scan the Internet together and plan a future trip. Have a living room luau. Put on your bathing suit, toss down some beach towels, play island music, and enjoy island cuisine. Or turn your backyard into a Bedouin tent. (Your family tent, lots of cushions from your sofa, pillows from your bed, and some Christmas lights should do the trick!) Play with her. Pull out the kids’ toys, fly a kite or have a water gun fight. Play a board game together. Write clues on dollar store Valentines and place them around town, then take your love on a car rally or treasure hunt. The date consists of gathering clues and small romantic treasures like poems, chocolates, and other small treats.

Work out together. Enjoy sitting in the Jacuzzi to recover. Share hopes, dreams and goals as you play. Laugh with her. When I wrote 52 Ways to Wow Your Husband, I ran a contest asking for creative, yet inexpensive date ideas. Here is the winning entry: “We each get $5 and take turns going into a store— usually Walmart or Goodwill—while the other waits in the van. We each buy, without the other’s knowledge, whatever we want for our “Date Night.” Combining the two items into one date night is a hoot! He might buy a cup of worms and a six pack of Mountain Dew for a few hours of fishing—and I purchase a 1,000-piece jigsaw puzzle.” Touch her. Every woman longs to be appreciated behind bedroom doors. King Solomon showed his wisdom when he complimented his bride as foreplay. He likely touched each precious part of her and tenderly caressed her as he verbally expressed his delight in each and every nook and curve of her wonderful creation. (See Songs of Songs 4:1-7; 5:1-16; 7:1-10 for inspiration.) Take this idea horizontal and whisper sweet somethings in her ear as you give her a full body massage. If you add in a tender, heartfelt moment of wrapping your wife in your arms and whispering a prayer of thanks to God for the woman He gave you—that is the best aphrodisiac of all. Pam Farrel is married to Bill, a speaker on this year’s Promise Keeper’s schedule. Together they have authored over 38 books, including bestselling Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti. For more romantic ideas, “like” the Bill and Pam Facebook page or check out some Free or Nearly Free Ideas on the articles page at www.Love-Wise.com


“Be strong and courageous.”

Joshua 1:9

MEN’S CONFERENCE

Join men from all across Canada for Promise Keepers Canada’s Stronger men’s conferences. Fantastic speakers, live music and resources to equip you for life.

“There’s a place in every man’s heart that longs to be courageous, to be bold and gutsy and etch a masculine mark of bravery on the human landscape. In our hearts, we know that a part of the core of true manhood is courage.” – STEPPING UP, AUTHOR DENNIS RAINEY

“Nehemiah’s life is a testament to courage. God is looking for leaders like Nehemiah to fight moral, physical, political, and spiritual battles. He is looking for those who possess the spiritual courage to trust Him and take their faith in him into the daily battles of life.” – A LEADER AFTER GOD’S OWN HEART, AUTHOR JIM GEORGE “The man who claims he’s never done anything courageous doesn’t understand what courage really is – or how often he faces decisions that require courage.” – STEPPING UP, AUTHOR DENNIS RAINEY

“A real man rejects passivity, accepts responsibility, leads courageously, and expects God’s greater reward.” – MEN’S FRATERNITY CURRICULUM, AUTHOR ROBERT LEWIS

www.PromiseKeepers.ca

“There comes into the life of every man a task for which he and he alone is uniquely suited. What a shame if that moment finds him either unwilling or unprepared for that which would become his finest hour.” seven – issue thirty-four january – february, 2014 page 31 – WINSTON CHURCHILL


WEEKDAYS AT 5

WEEKNIGHTS AT 8

WEEKNIGHTS AT 9

#inspiring Full Schedule + Local Listings at ctstv.com

seven – issue thirty-four january – february, 2014 page 32


Issuu converts static files into: digital portfolios, online yearbooks, online catalogs, digital photo albums and more. Sign up and create your flipbook.