December 4, 2013

WWW.PGHCITYPAPER.COM | 12.04/12.11.2013

BOOK OF THE MONTH: TENTH OF DECEMBER AUTHOR GEORGE SAUNDERS COMES TO TOWN 40

EVENTS 12.6 – 7-10pm SPECIAL PREVIEW & LISTENING EVENT FOR THE VELVET UNDERGROUND: WHITE LIGHT/ WHITE HEAT 45TH ANNIVERSARY SUPER DELUXE EDITION FREE

12.12 – 8pm NELLIE MCKAY Warhol theater Tickets $20/$18 Members & students FREE parking in The Warhol lot

12.30 – 10am-5pm SPECIAL HOLIDAY HOURS The Warhol will be open on Monday, December 30 from 10am to 5pm

1.11 – 8pm SOUND SERIES: H2 SAXOPHONE QUARTET Co-presented with the Music on the Edge series of the University of Pittsburgh Department of Music Tickets advance $15/$10 students; for tickets call 412.624.7529 or visit www.music.pitt.edu/tickets Door Tickets $20/$15 students FREE parking in The Warhol lot

1.18 – 8pm SOUND SERIES: MEETING OF IMPORTANT PEOPLE, WITH SPECIAL GUESTS, THE NOX BOYS Warhol Entrance Space Tickets $10/$8 Members & students FREE parking in The Warhol lot

TH ROUG H JAN UARY 12

The Andy Warhol Museum receives state arts funding support through a grant from the Pennsylvania Council on the Arts, a state agency funded by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania; the National Endowment for the Arts, a federal agency and The Heinz Endowments. Further support is provided by the Allegheny Regional Asset District.

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.04/12.11.2013

AL RSEN bowl.com A412-683-5992 i n revitalize revitalizedd Lawrenceville

Editor CHRIS POTTER News Editor CHARLIE DEITCH Arts & Entertainment Editor BILL O’DRISCOLL Music Editor ANDY MULKERIN Associate Editor AL HOFF Listings Editor MARGARET WELSH Assistant Listings Editor JESSICA BOGDAN Staff Writers REBECCA NUTTALL, ALEX ZIMMERMAN Staff Photographer HEATHER MULL Interns ALLISON COSBY, BRETT WILSON

VOLUME 23 + ISSUE 49

BOOK YOUR S PARTIE NOW!

[VIEWS] Pittsburgh, if you are a church, you 14 “In have a free ticket to anywhere. But if you’re a secular atheist, there’s not a place for you.� — Unbeliever Stephen Hirtle on a free-speech suit filed against the Port Authority are extensive on-site gardens and 20 “There fields, a greenhouse for herbs and baby greens, and even beehives.� — Angelique Bamberg and Jason Roth review The Pines Tavern

“People will always call it a side project.� — Mickey Melchiondo Jr., a.k.a. Dean Ween, on his longtime band Moistboyz

[SCREEN]

34

Marketing Director DEANNA KRYMOWSKI Marketing and Promotions Coordinator LINDSEY GUARD Advertising and Promotions Coordinator ASHLEY WALTER Radio Promotions Director VICKI CAPOCCIONI-WOLFE Radio Promotions Assistants ANDREW BILINSKY, NOAH FLEMING

STEEL CITY MEDIA GENERAL POLICIES: Contents copyrighted 2013

by Steel City Media. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written permission of the publisher. The opinions expressed in Pittsburgh City Paper are those of the author and not necessarily of Steel City Media. LETTER POLICY: Letters, faxes or e-mails must be signed and include town and daytime phone number for confirmation.

We may edit for length and clarity. DISTRIBUTION: Pittsburgh City Paper is published weekly by Steel City Media and is available free of charge at select distribution locations. One copy per reader; copies of past issues may be purchased for $3.00 each, payable in advance to Pittsburgh City Paper. FIRST CLASS MAIL SUBSCRIPTIONS: Available for $175 per year, $95 per half year. No refunds.

was 12 and I didn’t know anything 37 “Iabout dance or ballet.� — Pittsburgh Ballet founder Nicolas Petrov recalls the start of his career in 1940s Yugoslavia

[LAST PAGE]

“Sometimes even if you tell the truth / Nobody’s going to believe you.� — Poet Jimmy Cvetic on a skirmish in the war on drugs

{REGULAR & SPECIAL FEATURES} NEWS OF THE WEIRD BY CHUCK SHEPHERD 18 EVENTS LISTINGS 42 SAVAGE LOVE BY DAN SAVAGE 52 CROSSWORD PUZZLE BY BEN TAUSIG 54 FREE WILL ASTROLOGY BY ROB BREZSNY 55 N E W S

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“Footage of scenery and kids playing folds into the stark realities of life and death.� — Al Hoff reviews the documentary Blood Brother

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12.04/12.11.2013

Events

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 650 Smithfield Street, Suite 2200 Pittsburgh, PA 15222 412.316.3342 FAX: 412.316.3388 E-MAIL info@pghcitypaper.com www.pghcitypaper.com

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INCOMING

“I’VE SIGNED ALLLLL KINDS OF BODY PARTS! NAME IT. I’VE SIGNED IT.”

An upscale restaurant opens on Thanksgiving … and critics tell it to get stuffed (Nov. 27) “All I can say about this is that it is RIDICULOUS. Plenty of restaurants are open, retailers choose to open. If people do not like it, get a different job. …

I think there are more important things to worry about.”

— Web comment from “Annoyed” “The issue is that Darden does not give HOLIDAY PAY to its employees. No incentives, no time and a half. Most, if not all, retail outlets including Target receive holiday pay.”

— Web comment from “Also Annoyed”

School board approves Teach for America contract, but there’s a catch (Nov. 27, online only) “I hope this new board considers this carefully. If they do, I believe they’re obligated to vote it down and pursue better options for recruiting and retaining teachers. The high attrition of TFA recruits worsens the churn of ill-trained, novice teachers that poor students get.

Such churn hurts kids! And, it costs districts [that is, taxpayers] more money.”

— Web comment from “Demian”

ENTERPRISING

PERSONALITY {PHOTOS COURTESY OF GEORGE TAKEI}

The Motherfucker With the Hat at barebones productions (Nov. 27) “I cannot BELIEVE that they used the title to this article the way they did! You should have come up with a better way to bring attention to what you were talking about instead of using this poor title to this Broadway show! I am disgusted with the fact that nothing is censored anymore. Nothing. It never used to be this way and the country as a whole was a heck of a lot more proper.

Now we desensitize people to manners and no one seems to care about the fact that kids are rude and aggressive.

Remember when video games were simple? Like Donkey Kong and Mario Brothers? They didn’t have prostitutes and murder. They didn’t swear on TV. It’s sick. I can’t stand this country anymore.”

— Web comment from “Billie Wolotoa” “Some guy with a stick up his ass who can’t get past semantics. Could you ask for a better endorsement? I’m even more excited to see this.”

— Web comment from “William Wango”

6

George Takei

G

EORGE TAKEI spent three seasons

playing Lt. Sulu on the original Star Trek television series. Now, more than 40 years later, he’s entertaining a new generation of fans, thanks partly to a social-media presence that includes a Facebook page with nearly 5.2 million likes and a Twitter account with more than 916,000 followers.

Imprisoned in a Japanese-American internment camp during World War II, Takei has become a civil-rights activist, having been a vocal supporter of marriage equality and LGBT rights. In 2005, he came out as a gay man and in 2008 married Brad Altman, his partner of 26 years. Takei, who appears Dec. 6-8 at the Steel City Con at the Monroeville Convention Center, talked to City Paper from his home in Los Angeles.

[Pittsburgh] Public Theater is a real theatrical pleasure. I think you’re most blessed because you have people who are proud of their city and bring imagination to your built heritage. The very fact that we worked in a former steel mill [31st Street Studios in the Strip District] — you know, it could have

George Takei’s real star trek — a civil-rights crusade enhanced by social-media celebrity — shows no signs of ending {BY CHARLIE DEITCH} laid there derelict and empty, but you had entrepreneurs who had a creative idea and transformed it into a soundstage. It’s the human resources of a city that really keeps a city vibrant and alive.

YOU WERE IN PITTSBURGH FOR FOUR MONTHS WORKING ON THE NICKELODEON SHOW SUPAH NINJAS. DID YOU GET A WHAT IS IT ABOUT STAR TREK THAT PEOPLE CHANCE TO TAKE IN THE SIGHTS? The delights and cultural grace of your city HAVE CONNECTED TO SO STRONGLY? are incredible. I’m a theater person and your I think there are four things. One is the

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.04/12.11.2013

optimistic view of the future that the show had. So much of science fiction depicts a ruined civilization with humans rummaging around in the ruins, but Star Trek looked at the future with an optimistic view. Two, we told very good personal stories. We were characters that the audience could identify with; the human relationships that we had held the audience’s interest. Number three, the technology was fascinating to people, particularly geeks and nerds. And number four, Gene Roddenberry believed in using science fiction as a metaphor for contemporary issues. Whether it was the civil-rights movement at the time or the Vietnam War which was tearing the country apart — sci-fi was a metaphor for all of those issues.

SOME STAR TREK FANS HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO BE PRETTY RABID. DID ANYONE EVER ASK YOU TO SIGN THEIR KID OR SIGN THEIR BODY IN A STRANGE PLACE? Oh yes! I’ve signed alllll kinds of body CONTINUES ON PG. 08

One of a kind.

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parts! Name it. I’ve signed it. I’ll let your imagination run wiiild! [Laughs]

will appear at the Steel City Con, Fri. Dec. 6-Sun. Dec. 8 at the Monroeville Convention Center. He will sign autographs from 5-6 p.m. Friday and beginning at 10 a.m. Saturday and Sunday. He will also hold a Q&A session from 2:15 to 3 p.m.

Saturday. Convention admission is $15; $25 for a three-day pass. Celebrity autographs have an additional cost.

For information on other celebrity guests: www.steelcitycon.com

My primary social-media base was primarily sci-fi geeks and nerds and I had to build that audience base much larger. So I just started through trial and error making some funny commentaries about Star Trek and sci-fi and that started getting a lot of likes and shares … and my audience base started to grow.

At that point I had to introduce another component of this, and that was social justice. So I started talking about equality for the gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgender people, and I discovered that there was a big overlap between sci-fi geeks and nerds and LGBT people. From there my audience exploded and it got big enough that I then introduced the subject of the Japanese-American internment camps, and that brought in an even larger community, particularly Asian Americans. From there I started bringing up the musical because I needed to develop them into potential ticket-buyers. I began sharing a few songs and a few scenes from the musical, Allegiance, and it got even bigger. … And that’s it, that’s how my socialmedia escapades began: primarily to get the word out about a project that was very close to me.

So we [put] a lot of our time, energy, talent and money into that project and we were able to get the Old Globe Theatre in San Diego to produce it. But before we did any of that, we needed to have an audience prepared for it. So, I thought, “Well, social media is a wonderful way to get the word out and to raise the awareness, but how do we do that?”

YOU REALLY SEEM TO REACH A CROSS-SECTION OF PEOPLE. I HAVE A FEW FRIENDS ON SOCIAL MEDIA WHO I’M SORRY TO SAY ARE HOMOPHOBIC OR REALLY FAR-RIGHTWING CONSERVATIVES AND I’M ALWAYS AMAZED WHEN I SEE EVEN THEM SHARE A GEORGE TAKEI MEME OR PHOTO. [Laughing] Well, thank you for telling me that. And thank your friends.

IN ADDITION TO STAR TREK, YOU’VE ALSO BECOME KNOWN AS A SOCIALMEDIA DARLING/KING OF THE INTERNET. HOW DID YOU BECOME SO ENGAGED IN SOCIAL MEDIA? I grew up imprisoned as a child in U.S. internment camps, and it’s been my mission in life to raise the awareness of Americans on that very dark chapter in our history. To really get people to connect emotionally to that story I thought it was important — and remember I’m a theater person — to dramatize it.

And even better to develop a Broadway musical on that subject. …

Dorothy Dorothy is a lovely lap cat who’s waiting for someone to adopt her from Animal Friends. This laidback lady would rather cuddle than play any day.

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Scene from a marriage: Takei’s 2008 marriage to Brad Altman

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.04/12.11.2013

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ENTERPRISING PERSONALITY, CONTINUED FROM PG. 08

Even He Wasn’t Expecting This.

DO YOU REGRET NOT COMING OUT SOONER? WHAT KEPT YOU BEHIND THE SCENES IN THE FIGHT FOR LGBT EQUALITY? Honestly, it was the reality of the times.

I was deeply involved in the civil-rights movement. I marched with Dr. Martin Luther King. I did a civil-rights musical back in the 1960s. I was involved in the anti-Vietnam War issue. I was involved in all of these things but when it came to LGBT issues, I was silent throughout the ’60s, ’70s, ’80s and GOING BACK TO YOUR ’90s because I was pursuing a CHILDHOOD, HOW DID LL career as an actor. In television THE TIME SPENT IN THE READ FU W INTERVEIEAT you want ratings, in movies JAPANESE-AMERICAN ONLINw. you want box office, and INTERNMENT CAMPS ww aper unfortunately at that time, the SHAPE YOUR VIEW OF pghcityp .com feeling was you wouldn’t get THE WORLD? any of that if you are known as One memory I have that is a gay actor. burned into my mind is one morning … [T]he climate began to change.

— and I’m 5 years old at this time — our parents got my siblings and me up early In California, the state legislature and my parents were in the back packing approved marriage equality, it was a and my brother and I were in the living landmark moment, and the bill went to room looking out the front window and the governor’s desk, who happened to I saw two soldiers with bayonets on their be Arnold Schwarzenegger at the time. rifles — I remember the sparkle on the … He vetoed the bill and we were shatbayonets from the sun — coming up the tered. Brad and I were at home watching driveway and stomping onto our porch TV and young people were raging in and we were ordered out of our home. the streets at Gov. Schwarzenegger. …

My mother came out with my baby sister [W]e talked about it and we said, “I in one hand and a large duffle bag in have to speak out.” If I was going to the other and tears were streaming speak out then my voice had to be down her cheek. A child never forgets authentic, and I addressed the press for the first time as a gay man. that image.

I WILL. WHAT DO YOU THINK IT IS ABOUT WHAT YOU’RE DOING ON SOCIAL MEDIA THAT REACHES PEOPLE OF VARIOUS BACKGROUNDS DESPITE YOUR POSITIONS ON CERTAIN SOCIALJUSTICE ISSUES? I really do think the connective glue is humor. Humor is what binds us all together regardless of what our politics or phobias are. We as human beings are all connected by the ludicrousness of life.

C D E I T C H @ P G H C I T Y PA P E R. C OM

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Winter Light Garden and Flower Show November 29 – January 12 Wondrous winter lights. Showy amaryllis. Colorful poinsettias.

Ride over the river and through the woods to our Winter Light Garden and Flower Show for a truly jaw-dropping scene. With a spectacular new showcase of illuminated glass and more shine than ever before, even Rudolph will be jealous of this year’s holiday show.

For details, visit phipps.conservatory.org.

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After childhood trauma, local college student seeks to give stalking victims more legal tools {BY REBECCA NUTTALL}

JUNE JEFFRIES PASTOR/ ENTREPRENEUR/ WRITER/ PCTV

PITTSBURGH COMMUNITY TELEVISION

STALK OPTIONS

WATCH:

He That Hath An Ear SUNDAYS AT 11 PM COMCAST 21, VERIZON 47

ACCORDING TO the National Center for Victims of Crime, 16 percent of women will be stalked at some point in their lives. Pittsburgh college student Sarah Pesi is one of them. At age 12 she was stalked and harassed by an adult she met while she was working as a referee for a junior soccer league.

The stalking and harassment bordered on physical abuse, Pesi says.

But she didn’t want to file charges — a police officer “said it would be a lot of trouble” for what was only a summary offense. She just wanted the man to stay away.

Had the man been a boyfriend, Pesi could have sought a protection-fromabuse order. But under Pennsylvania law, in cases of stalking or harassment, such orders can be issued only against family memb er s or int imat e partners. Pesi, now 18, has spent the past four years trying to change that, with help from the Women and Girls Foundation.

“I had a personal experience [with stalking] and I saw that the laws weren’t adequate,” says Pesi. “I saw an inequity and I turned all of my frustration and disillusionment into action.”

Pesi’s case is not unusual among victims of stalking — a crime the U.S. Department of Justice defines as “a course of conduct directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to feel fear.” In a 2012 report, the agency found that 60 percent of stalkers are not family members or intimate partners.

Pennsylvania is one of 13 states that lack anti-stalking provisions to cover such circumstances.

Pesi has been pressuring state legislators to change that. And on Nov. 19, the state House’s Judiciary Committee unanimously passed “Sarah’s Amendment.” The measure allows minors to ask a judge to issue a protective order against any adult engaged in stalking or harassment. Similar to the protective orders issued in domestic-violence cases, the order would instruct an accused stalker to cease contact with a victim, staying away from the victim’s home, work or school. Violators could face arrest.

“Having protective orders offers you protection before things escalate to physical violence,” Pesi says. “People always wonder, ‘What’s a piece of paper going to do?’ But you can use it to get help from the police.”

Getting such an order tends to be faster than going through the criminal courts, says Thomas Dymek, the House judiciary committee’s executive director.

“It’s easier because you can go through civil court,” Dymek says. “So you don’t have to go through police to get it.”

Pesi’s amendment has been added to Senate Bill 681, which also allows victims of sexual violence to obtain a protective order. The rationale for issuing PFAs is the same, says Dymek: “We know that victims of domestic violence are more hesitant to report to law enforcement, so we give them an alternative. So too are victims of sexual violence.”

“Harassment and stalking can seem minor but it can also result in violence and even death,” says state Sen. Stewart Greenleaf (R-Montgomery), SB 681’s original sponsor. “What you’re relegated to now is going into court and having a full-fledged hearing.” But if his bill becomes law, he adds, protective orders “can be afforded to not only someone subjected to physical abuse, but now sexual violence, harassment and stalking.”

Still, Pesi worries the legislation doesn’t go far enough; as amended, the bill grants protective orders only to minors who allege stalking. She says adults who have been stalked should have the same protection.

Dymek explains that adult victims were not included partly due to fears that adults might use protective orders against each other for minor disagreements. “We’re really trying to focus on a vulnerable category of victim,” he says.

“We’ve made incredible strides here,” Greenleaf says. “We can deal with [adult stalking] another day. We don’t want to add anything that could … put the bill in jeopardy.”

SB 681 awaits a vote in the full House.

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.04/12.11.2013

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[POTTER’S FIELD]

The 5th Judicial District of Pennsylvania and Allegheny County Pretrial Services urges you to enjoy your weekend out in Pittsburgh but

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.04/12.11.2013

ROAD TO PERDITION A free-speech suit raises thorny questions for Port Authority {BY CHRIS POTTER} ORDINARILY, A PORT Authority bus would seem like the perfect place for atheists to advertise. If you want proof that we live in a Godless universe, after all, you need only climb aboard a 51-Carrick at rush hour.

But last month, the United Coalition of Reason sued the Port Authority in federal court, alleging the agency had violated the group’s free-speech rights by rejecting an ad targeting religious skeptics.

The Coalition is an unholy alliance — literally — of local doubters banded together under the auspices of a national organization. Nationwide, the Coalition has sought to raise the visibility of nonreligious Americans with ads reading, “Don’t believe in God? You’re not alone.”

“It’s a campaign to get the word out that there are atheists and agnostics,” says Stephen Hirtle, a local Coalition spokesman. “There’s no attempt to convert anyone.

It doesn’t say, ‘We hate God.’” According to the lawsuit, discussions over the ad began two years ago. During that time, the Port Authority lost another free-speech case, in which the American Civil Liberties Union successfully challenged an earlier policy that barred ads from non-commercial advertisers. Stung by the loss, the agency agreed to allow such spots, but its new policy still bars ads “that promote the existence or non-existence of a supreme deity … or are otherwise religious in nature.”

“We don’t meet the new policy and we don’t meet the old policy, because they aren’t following it in either case,” Hirtle says. “If you are a church, you have a free ticket to anywhere. But if you’re a secular atheist, there’s no place for you.”

You can see why he feels that way. Even as the Coalition filed its suit, for example, state Rep. Rick Saccone (R-Elizabeth) was making headlines with legislation requiring the motto “In God We Trust” be posted in public schools. The Port Authority’s record in these fights, meanwhile, doesn’t inspire confidence. “In heaven’s name, the agency needs a more realistic ad policy” a Dec. 1 Pittsburgh Post-Gazette editorial argued.

And because the Port Authority doesn’t comment on pending litigation, it falls to me to play Devil’s advocate. (Or God’s —theology gets a little confused in these cases.)

For starters, ACLU attorney Sara Rose says the new policy “is better than the

old one because it allows for more noncommercial ads.” And unless you can prove a double standard at work, courts typically “give agencies the benefit of the doubt.” (The ACLU is not involved in the current lawsuit.)

The Coalition’s complaint includes photographs of ads it says the Port Authority has accepted. Perhaps the most troubling is a poster featuring a quote from Einstein: “Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind.”

But Port Authority spokesman Jim Ritchie says that poster “is not a Port Authority ad”: The bus shelter it was posted on, he says, belongs to Lamar Advertising.

Other ads feature events like food festivals and fish fries; Hirtle asks “How is a Lenten dinner not a matter of religious belief?” But the authority arguably would risk another lawsuit if it rejected ads for a churchsponsored event while accepting those ads from, say, a secular rib festival.

Consistency can cut both ways. In fact, if the Coalition wins the right to proclaim its philosophy on buses, church groups might demand the same opportunity. A win for atheists, perversely, could result in even more overtly religious ads. (Hirtle acknowledges that possibility, but says, “We already see Christian messages all the time, so we’re willing to risk a few more to get our own message out.”)

Personally, I’d be OK with ads from atheists and believers, especially if they paid for more transit service on the Sabbath. Anyway, the Port Authority already promotes other kinds of godlessness.

Entire buses have been sheathed in beer ads, and some light-rail vehicles practically resemble slots parlors.

Rose explains that under a 1974 US Supreme Court decision, agencies can treat commercial and non-commercial messages differently — and “any entity that wants to avoid controversial advertising has relied on that distinction.”

Ordinarily, advertising gets less government protection than other forms of speech. But as courts wrestle over when and where to debate the existence of God, Pittsburgh’s buses will roll by … proclaiming the glory of Mammon.

I’D BE OK WITH ADS FROM ATHEISTS AND BELIEVERS, ESPECIALLY IF THEY PAID FOR MORE TRANSIT SERVICE ON THE SABBATH.

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.04/12.11.2013

Fostering Growth and Reflection

Title Sponsor

RECLAIM THE

PROMISE PUBLIC EDUCATION OF

Public education is under attack and underfunded throughout our country. Now, communities are coming together for our schools and our children to champion great public schools as the heart of our neighborhoods.

On Dec. 9, parents, students, teachers, school staff and more than 100 community groups are reclaiming the promise of public education with a National Day of Action in more than 60 cities.

Together, we can make sure our schools are a place where all kids can thrive and the voices of those closest to the classroom are heard.

Join us as we reclaim public education as a steady anchor of our democracy, a vital engine of our economy, and an undeniable gateway to opportunity for every child.

16th century soul music from a 21st century choir.

Honeck & The Tallis Scholars December 6-8, Heinz Hall

Their voices are angelic, the music is heavenly and the performance is happening at Heinz Hall. Music director Manfred Honeck, The Tallis Scholars and the Pittsburgh Symphony Orchestra present the music of Allegri, Victoria and Bruckner. Come experience a performance of a higher order. It would be devilish not to.

ON DECEMBER 9TH IN PITTSBURGH Parents, students, teachers, school staff and communities are standing together to reclaim the promise of public education.

Rally with us at 4:00 p.m. outside Governor Corbettâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pittsburgh office (301 5th Avenue) to fight for an equitable education funding formula in Pennsylvania.

To purchase tickets, visit pittsburghsymphony.org or call 412.392.4900.

PAID FOR BY THE AMERICAN FEDERATION OF TEACHERS, RANDI WEINGARTEN, PRESIDENT

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NEWS OF THE WEIRD {BY CHUCK SHEPHERD}

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The notorious white separatist Craig Cobb is currently soliciting like-skinned people to move to his tiny town of Leith, N.D. (pop. 16), to create a deluxe Caucasian enclave. But at the urging of a black TV host, Cobb submitted to a DNA test in November to “prove” his lineage — and turned up 14 percent black (“Sub-Saharan African”). He has vowed to try other DNA tests before confirming those results. Bobby Harper, previously Leith’s only black resident, was gleeful: “I knew there was one other black person in town.” (In mid-November, Cobb was charged, along with an associate, with seven counts of terrorism for walking menacingly through Leith wielding a long gun.)

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In October, Venezuelan president Nicolas Maduro created a “Vice Ministry of Supreme Social Happiness” to coordinate the welfare programs begun by the late President Hugo Chavez. Critics charged, however, that there is much to be unhappy about, given the country’s annual rate of inflation (near 50 percent), and an Associated Press dispatch quoted one critic who said she would be happy enough if only stores were not constantly out of milk and toilet paper.

(Another skeptic said he looked forward to maybe a Vice Ministry of Beer).

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Though many people might agree with blind musician Stevie Wonder that it is “crazy” to let people like him carry guns, federal and state laws seem ambiguous, according to a lengthy analysis of Iowa’s supplied by the Des Moines Register in September.

Some Iowa sheriffs believe that federal anti-

discrimination law limits their discretion (though they can deny permits for lack of physical or mental ability to handle the gun).

The National Federation of the Blind generally trusts its members never to use guns recklessly, a spokesman said, and blind Iowa activist Michael Barber emphasized his right. “[Y]ou take it out and point and shoot,” he said, “and I don’t necessarily think eyesight is necessary. … For me, the inspiration is just to see if I run into any difficulties.”

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Leandro Granato, 27, said that he discovered, as a kid in Argentina, that liquids sucked up through his nose could then be squirted out of his eye — and an art career was born. News sites reported in October that Granato’s “eye paintings” of ink colors, splattered out as tears on canvas in various motifs (from up to 1½ pints of ink each), are offered for sale at a top-end price of the equivalent of $2,400 each. (Huffington Post’s story also reminded readers that Chilean artist Carina Ubeda is another who uses her body functions as a medium — specifically, her menstrual blood, which she employed in the form of 90 used sanitary napkins arranged in a hoop featuring an apple, symbolizing ovulation. Her June show ran in Quillota, Chile.)

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Informal Georgia Sobriety Tests: Rachel Gossett blew a 0.216 alcohol reading in Loganville, Ga., in November, but that was probably a formality after an officer witnessed her attempt to put a cheeseburger from a Waffle Shop onto her foot as if it were a shoe.

And Rashad Williams, 38, was charged with DUI in Atlanta in October after he crashed

Celebrate New Year’s with your Flavor of choice!

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.04/12.11.2013

S E N D YO U R W E IRD N E W S TO WE IR DNE WS @ E ART HL I N K . N E T O R WWW. NE WS O F T HE WE I R D. C OM

through the front of a Walgreens drugstore and then, according to a witness, calmly exited his vehicle (which was sticking halfway into the building) and resumed drinking next door at the Anchor Bar.

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Round Up the Usual Suspect: Indicted for rape in August in Hamilton County, Tenn.: Mr. John Allan Raper, 19. (Other recent miscreants were Mr. Batman Suparman, 23, convicted in Singapore in November of housebreaking and theft, and Mr. Bamboo Flute Blanchard, 18, who was arrested in June in Gainesville, Fla., and accused of trying to stab his father for an unreported provocation — although one possible motive suggests itself.)

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Sheriff’s deputy Darrell Mathis of Newton County, Ga. (30 miles east of Atlanta), a five-year veteran, was arrested in September and charged with selling marijuana locally — from his squad car, in uniform, and apparently without inhibition. A confidential informant, unnerved by Mathis’ alleged brazenness, convinced FBI agents in April 2013 to do a by-the-book sting (with which Mathis, of course, naively cooperated, according to bureau affidavits). (In their final meeting before the arrest, for example, Mathis took pains to assure the agents: “Don’t worry. I’m on your side.” He was reportedly enthusiastic about the sting’s plan to run marijuana and cocaine from Alabama to North Carolina.)

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When Franco Scaramuzza witnessed two men pepper-spraying a couple in a shopping center parking

lot in Nashville, Tenn., in September, he bravely responded in the only way he knew.

Scaramuzza, who teaches the art of fencing, drew his fencing sword (“epee”) and challenged the men. With his epee held high and aimed, and chanting fencing-type yells, he charged at the men. As he said later, “They completely panicked and dropped everything … and really took off.” Michael Butt and Zachary Johnson were arrested nearby and charged with robbery.

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In a courthouse lobby in Kelso, Wash., in October, a woman brought a cake in with her through security. Robert Fredrickson, a stranger, was also in the building on business. Without warning, Fredrickson attacked — the cake, not the woman — feeding himself with his hands before washing them off at a drinking fountain. “[S]tand right there. Don’t move,” yelled a deputy, attempting to bring Fredrickson to justice. As soon as the officer looked away, however, Fredrickson returned to clawing at the cake and stuffing his mouth. Finally, several deputies arrived to subdue Fredrickson and charge him with theft and resisting arrest.

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Not Ready for Prime Time: Derek Codd, 19, apparently left his cell phone, by accident, at the house in Lake Worth, Fla., that he had burglarized in November, and just as investigating officers were arriving and noticed it, the phone rang. (“Who is this?” an officer asked. The caller answered innocently, “Derek Codd’s mother.” Derek was arrested a short time later.)

INCLUDING THE NEW FLAVOR

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We Put The “T” in Toys For Tots.

On Friday, December 13th, don’t just get caught in the morning rush. Catch the holiday spirit.

Bring a toy down to the Steel Plaza T station and help lift a child’s spirits for the holidays.

Friday morning, December 13th from 5:30 till 9 am, Toys for Tots will be collecting new, unwrapped children’s gifts. Port Authority is proud to join with media sponsors Q92.9 FM and the United States Marine Corps in asking you to help fill a child’s heart with joy and happiness this holiday season.

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THE PINES HAS ON-SITE GARDENS, A GREENHOUSE AND EVEN BEEHIVES

BEET IT {BY BILL O’DRISCOLL} This year’s vegetable-garden roulette produced minimal potatoes, but plenty of beets. We’d never grown beets before, but some of them came up softball-sized. There’s nothing quite like this root vegetable’s dense magenta flesh and its hefty feel in your hand.

Beta vulgaris is quite nutritious: high in folic acid, manganese, potassium and vitamin C. But cooking beets is said to diminish such nutrients. Thus, beets are arguably best raw, and they’re especially amenable to juicing.

While I prefer carrot juice, beets are better in one important way: They’re actually juicy. A big one processes down to a decent-sized glass of liquid all by itself. Leave on the rough, scaly skin, which contains much of the nutrition (as is true for many vegetables). And while I haven’t tried it, you can also juice beet greens, which are also very healthful.

(They sautée up nicely too.)

Good juicing partners for beets include the aforementioned carrots, ginger, and, for a kick, a clove or two of garlic.

Watch out for “beeturia,” the reddening of the urine that some experience after consuming beets; it looks scary, but is harmless. And find something constructive to do with the shredded stuff left in the juicer. Compost it, at least, but also try saving it as snack food. Beet tailings might look like something you’d feed a pig, but they’re low-cost, low-calorie and high-fiber, and they’re another way to enjoy that earthy, slightly sweet beet flavor.

DRISCOLL@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

the

FEED

The holiday party ty and noshing season has begun! East End d Food Co-op’s ’s

Winterfest st ne-up returns, with a line-up of food (vegetarian, i vegan and kosher items), desserts (vegan and gluten-free from Gluuteny Bakery), beers from East End Brewing, music and a raffle.

Proceeds benefit the Greater Pittsburgh Community Food Bank. 6:30-9:30 p.m.

Sat., Dec. 7. Jewish Community Center, 5738 Forbes Ave., Squirrel Hill. www.eastendfood.coop. $8 ($5 co-op members); $5 extra for beer

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LONGTIME LOCAL {PHOTOS BY HEATHER MULL}

{BY ANGELIQUE BAMBERG + JASON ROTH}

W

E TEND TO think of the suburbs as being without history, having neither the densely detailed patina of the city nor the land-that-timeforgot aura of the agrarian countryside.

But the hinterlands have a history too, and you can find it if you know where to look.

One suburban restaurant with a past is The Pines Tavern, located near Babcock Boulevard in the far North Hills. Its earliest incarnation was as an after-work gathering place where local farmers mingled with the staffs of three grand, Gilded Age estates. (One of these belonged to t former Pittsburgh Mayor Edward Babcock; now you know why there’s a B boulevard winding all the way up there.) b Over the years, The Pines was converted to a speakeasy, country market, dance hall and even a gas station. After reopening as a tavern in 1978, it entered local culinary history with its emphasis on locally produced, in-season foods — long before these ideas took hold in the broader restaurant culture. Perhaps inspired by the location’s past as

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.04/12.11.2013

Grass-fed filet mignon with red wine demi-glaze and crispy onions, grilled rainbow carrots and roasted new potatoes

a farmland nexus, owner Mike Novak committed early to the farm-to-table ethos. Over time, this has developed into extensive on-site gardens and fields, a greenhouse for herbs and baby greens, and even beehives.

THE PINES TAVERN 5018 Bakerstown Road, Gibsonia. 724-625-3252 HOURS: lunch Tue.-Sat. 11:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m.; dinner Tue.-Thu. 5-9 p.m.; Fri.-Sat. 5-10 p.m.; casual dining (tavern menu) Tue.-Thu. 11:30 a.m.-10 p.m.; Fri.-Sat. 11:30 a.m.-11 p.m.

PRICES: Appetizers, soups and salads $4-12; sandwiches and daily tavern specials $10-14; entrees $18-34 LIQUOR: Full bar

CP APPROVED While the lawn and patios are now closed for the winter, the light of a full moon shone magically on the fields and gardens the night we visited, and the tavern’s interior glittered with holiday decor. The Pines Tavern’s name suggests a rustic character, but the restaurant’s casual elegance felt suitable for everything from drinks

with friends to an intimate wedding.

Befitting its emphasis on freshness and seasonality, The Pines has not just one menu, but three: seasonal, weekly and daily. Offerings range from complex entrée plates with recommended wine and beer accompaniments to more casual burgers, sandwiches and “comfort fare.” The selection was frankly a bit overwhelming, but the descriptions were so uniformly enticing that, after some study, it seemed that there could be no wrong choices.

The tavern burger seemed like a musthave. We tried ours with bacon. The patty was pink in the middle but a touch dry.

However, the bacon was excellent, crisp and meaty and not too smoky, and the big, soft bun was flavorful and benefitted from a quick, hot char on the grill. Golden fries on the side were good, not great; next time we’ll take advantage of the sweet potato or garlic-parmesan options.

Tavern meatloaf — an outstanding value at $12 — was a couple of thick slices served with loaded mashed potatoes, extraordinarily tender green beans (almost

as thin as haricots verts) and sweet roasted apple slices. The meatloaf was not especially beefy-tasting, suggesting plenty of binder, but the binder added herbal flavor, not just bulk and cohesion.

The charcuterie platter tempted largely due to the promise of venison stick, local ring baloney, and beet-pickled quail egg.

The last was fantastic: delicate, sweet and just slightly pungent. The venison was smoky and just gamy enough, while the bologna was reminiscent of summer sausage. The only misstep was cocktail rye crisps that were dried rather than toasted, resulting in a texture akin to staleness.

A grilled asparagus salad was a real standout. The thinner-than-a-pencil spears were quickly charred over flame and served alongside a poached egg and toasted bits of ciabatta (a brilliant cross between croutons and crumbs), as well as arugula, shaved parmesan and pancetta. The egg yolk melded with white truffle oil, bringing the disparate flavors and textures together into probably the best asparagus dish Jason’s ever had.

Chocolate hazelnut tart

The panini of the day offered a tantalizing combination of shaved leg of lamb, red pepper-balsamic aioli, baby spinach, roasted tomatoes, caramelized onions and crumbled blue cheese.

The latter ingredient, with its saline pungency, was key to uniting and enhancing the other flavors, but unfortunately, there was not nearly enough of it.

Jason’s salmon from the weekly menu was downright disappointing. Roasted on a cedar plank, the fish tasted more of damp firewood than aromatic cedar, while the remaining components — roasted garlic grits, wild mushroom broth, mustard greens and crispy leeks — constituted a wide range of flavors and textures that, unlike the asparagus salad, utterly failed to cohere.

Still, The Pines’ commitment to “fresh dining from our landscape” was a winning complement to its warmly welcoming atmosphere. A more tightly focused menu might help the kitchen focus on its strengths.

On the RoCKs

{BY HAL B. KLEIN}

NOTHING PROHIBITED Local bars prepare to celebrate a real drinking holiday Although there are plenty of holidays that are celebrated by engaging in excessive drinking, the logic behind the boozing is often quite misplaced. Cinco de Mayo, a bacchanalia best known for getting hammered on tequila and Tecate, commemorates a Mexican victory against the French army in 1862. But revelers often regard it — incorrectly — as Mexican Independence Day (which is actually Sept. 16).

Oddly enough, one holiday that logically should be a terrific drunken bash has gone largely uncelebrated.

Repeal Day recognizes the ratification of the 21st Amendment on Dec. 5, 1933.

The amendment ended Prohibition, releasing hordes of American revelers from speakeasies. “It’s the day that set everything in motion for us to do what we’re doing today,” says Lynn Falk of Acacia, on East Carson Street.

And this year, a number of Pittsburgh’s cocktail-focused bars are finally having a party.

Falk says Acacia will celebrate with free punch and drink specials. He’s partnering with Maggie’s Farm Rum, and a portion of the evening’s proceeds will go to the South Side Slopes Neighborhood Association to raise money to help restore a nearby park.

In Lawrenceville, Tender Bar + Kitchen welcomes Lisa Laird, owner of Laird & Company, the oldest commercial distillery in the United States. For $65, revelers can expect a welcome cocktail and a four-course dinner paired with drinks, plus tasting notes and distillery education from Laird.

Downtown, Butcher and the Rye is throwing a grand party sponsored by Pernod Ricard and 21st Amendment Brewery. Bar manager Mike Mills says that for a $25 cover, revelers can expect free burlesque dancers, drink specials and a few other surprises. An RSVP is required — capacity for the party is 50 people — and Prohibition-era costumes are encouraged.

Mills says that one lingering effect of Prohibition is the derision of bartending as a legitimate profession. “Passionate people treat this [bartending] as a career,” says Mills. And Repeal Day “is a day to celebrate what we are doing.”

“IT’S THE DAY THAT SET EVERYTHING IN MOTION FOR US.”

INFO@ PGHC ITY PAP ER.CO M

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THE FOLLOWING DINING LISTINGS ARE RESTAURANTS RECOMMENDED BY CITY PAPER FOOD CRITICS

DINING LISTINGS KEY J = Cheap K = Night Out L = Splurge E = Alcohol Served F = BYOB

ALL INDIA. 315 N. Craig St., Oakland. 412-681-6600. With more than 200 items, All India’s menu is both epic and exciting, including novel choices such as Goan coconut shrimp and green jackfruit curry alongside the old denizens, chicken curry and the tandoor. Here, a thali, or combination platter, is a great option for the culinary explorer who wants the experience of multiple tastes. KF AVENUE B. 5501 Centre Ave., Shadyside. 412-683-3663. This intimate corner restaurant has only a brief, seasonal menu, but its offerings are all tantalizing, each combining several pedigreed ingredients. Such selections have included piquillo-pepper lasagna with a different filling in each layer; green-bean and sweetpotato tempura; and fresh pasta topped with beef short ribs, chard and crisped cipollini onions. LF BOCKTOWN BEER AND GRILL. 690 Chauvet Drive, The Pointe, North Fayette (412-788-2333) and 500 Beaver Valley Mall Blvd., Monaca (724-728-7200). Beer is the essence of Bocktown. Many of the dishes are less than $10, and designed to complement beer. The friendly staff creates a neighborhood atmosphere. JE

Let Del’s Cater Your Holidays!

Open Christmas Eve for pick up your Holiday Dinner 10:30am to 2:30pm

Serving Pittsburgh with 7 locations!

Allison Park 412-486-9600

Cranberry 724-772-3133

Downtown 412-261-2080

Ross Twp. 412-821-0600

Shaler 412-784-0888

Wexford 724-935-4151

Zelienople 724-453-3200

HOLIDAY GIFT CARDS Available at all locations.

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.04/12.11.2013

Buffet Lunch with Santa Claus Saturday, Dec. 14 Noon-4pm Call Marianne soon to make reservations 412.298.2906

4428 LIBERTY AVENUE BLOOMFIELD 412-683-1448 Visit us at DelsRest.com

BURMA-TOKYO RESTAURANT. 320 Atwood St., Oakland.

412-802-6163. This tiny restaurant run by two siblings offers sushi as well as a selection of cooked dishes from their native Burma and several neighboring countries. Among the intriguing selections: The Burmese shan tribe noodles, with a distinctive, intensely flavored sauce and varied vegetables; and the Kyae oae soup, with rice vermicelli, mustard greens, a variety of meatballs and tofu. JF THE CARLTON. 500 Grant St., Downtown. 412-391-4152.

A mainstay of Downtown dining for two decades, The Carlton delivers the hallmarks of fine dining in an atmosphere refreshingly free of attitude or affectation. The menu is neither stodgy nor cutting-edge; while dishes may verge on the decadent — risotto with lobster and brie?

— the flavor and ingredient combinations offer a classic Continental cuisine with contemporary inflections. LE GATTO CYCLE DINER. Wood Street and Seventh Avenue, Tarentum. 724-224-0500. This lovingly restored 1949 vintage

Penn Avenue Fish Company {PHOTO BY HEATHER MULL} While some dishes emphasize diner, now appended to a unusual juxtapositions of motorcycle shop, serves breakfast, ingredients, such as a lobstersandwiches and burgers, all and-white-bean purée alongside re-named in honor of motorbikes.

Nitro chili gets its kick from onions, fish, or fig in a “rustic marsala sauce,” other dishes are of the hot sauce and sliced jalapenos; moment, with pistachio dust the Bar-B-Q Glide sandwich atop duck cannoli or is topped with bacon, deep-fried gnocchi. KF barbecue sauce and cheddar; and the KAYA. 2000 Smallman Sportster is a delicious St., Strip District. tuna melt. J www. per 412-261-6565. Kaya pa pghcitym is a local culinary HABITAT. 510 Market .co mainstay, offering St., Downtown. 412inventive Caribbean-inspired 773-8800. Located in the contemporary cuisine. The menu, handsome Fairmont Hotel, this much of which is vegetarian, restaurant — with a marvelously changes frequently. But it remains open kitchen — utilizes local divided into tropas — tropical and seasonal ingredients. The tapas — and entrees. KE emphasis is on the kitchen’s ability to adapt and update KOUS KOUS CAFÉ. 665 traditional dishes from around Washington Road, Mount the world, such as tandoori Lebanon. 412-563-5687. This chicken tacos and rare-tuna-andsmall Moroccan restaurant avocado spring rolls. LE mostly eschews clichés like kebab and falafel, instead offering sophisticated preparations such as lamb osso bucco and salmon in sharmoula. Worthy starters include harira (meat and lentil soup), eggplant zaalouk (similar to ratatouille) and grilled sardines. KF

FULL LIST ONLINE

Seviche {PHOTO BY HEATHER MULL} KALEIDOSCOPE CAFÉ. 108 43rd St., Lawrenceville. 412-6834004. This intriguing menu refracts contemporary trends in sophisticated casual dining while still offering an atmosphere of off-the-beaten-path funkiness.

LEGUME BISTRO. 214 N. Craig St., Oakland. 412-621-2700. The former Regent Square bistro now has a more urbane Oakland location. To its inspired cuisine based on fresh, seasonal and local, Legume has also added a full bar and in-house butchering. The expanded menu might include: steaks, lamb kielbasa with celeriac puree, grilled escarole and lemonverbena panna cotta. LE MAURAMORI CAFÉ. 5202 Butler Street, Lawrenceville. 412-4083160. This café-style breakfastlunch spot serves, as expected, bacon, eggs, pancakes, waffles, sandwiches, burgers and fries.

CONTINUES ON PG. 24

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This is still down-home cooking, but better-quality ingredients (applewood-smoked bacon) are emphasized, and care that goes into their assemblage (hand-formed burger patties). J

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.04/12.11.2013

OLIVES AND PEPPERS. 6052 William Flynn Highway (Route 8), Bakerstown. 724-444-7499. This casual Italian spot that offers pizza, pasta and sandwiches as well as more refined entrees.

The meat-and-cheese sandwiches are a forte, with ciabatta “panini” and hoagies options. The lasagna is enormous, its homemade noodles laden with a creamy five-cheese mix and a savory Bolognese sauce with meatballlike chunks of beef. KE PENN AVENUE FISH COMPANY. 2208 Penn Ave., Strip District (412-434-7200) and 308 Forbes Ave., Downtown (412-562-1710).

These two fish restaurants fill the gap between humble lunch counter and snooty steakhouse — modern, funky and moderately priced. Much of the restaurant’s menu is casual fare such as sandwiches, sushi and tacos, with a rotating selection of higherend dishes, particularly at the Downtown location. KF SEVICHE. 930 Penn Ave., Downtown. 412-697-3120.

This upscale Latin Americanstyle tapas restaurant specializes in citrus-cured fish, while also offering a small selection of Latin-inspired tapas and finger sandwiches. And what better to wash down an empanada or mini taco than a refreshing capirinha cocktail? KE

Happy Hour

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MENDOZA EXPRESS. 812 Mansfield Road, Green Tree.

412-429-8780. The décor is pure kitsch — sombreros on the walls, etc. — and the location is a bit obscure. But the menu is ample, and the food is as authentic as you’ll find in Pittsburgh. (Try the rebozo, a scramble of chorizo, peppers and cheese.) JF

SIX PENN. 146 Sixth Ave., Downtown. 412-566-7366. Open late for the Downtown theater crowd, this cheery restaurant satisfies theater buffs, families and young professionals alike.

The seasonal menu offers lively updates on comfort food from lobster mac-n-cheese to braised short ribs. Gourmet burgers and pizzas make for quick meals.

Linger for homemade desserts, or stop by after the show. KE YO RITA. 1120 E. Carson St., South Side. 412-904-3557. This venue offers Mexican-inspired cuisine, through a variety of tacos.

Inventive fillings might include: beans-and-greens, artichokes or mushrooms, as well as more traditional meats (fish, pork, beef).

Combine with a starter, like grits or potatoes, and a craft beer for a full meal. JE

offMenu {BY JESSICA SERVER}

POT IN A STORM Local organizers plan potluck to benefit typhoon victims in Philippines FOR THOSE looking to give something back this holiday season, Leah Lizarondo and Caitlin GraterKapoor want you to consider their potluck the perfect place to start. It’s a chance to demonstrate generosity abroad while enjoying a generous helping of food cooked up here at home.

On Dec. 10, Lizarondo, author of the blog The Brazen Kitchen, and Grater-Kapoor, co-organizer for The Pittsburgh Whole Food Nutrition Meet Up group, are hosting “The Great Pittsburgh Potluck for the Philippines” at Marty’s Market (2301 Smallman St., Strip District). The effort will benefit aid efforts in the Philippines, which on Nov. 9 was ravaged by super-typhoon Haiyan — one of the most powerful storms ever recorded.

In true potluck fashion, guests are invited to bring a dish along with a $10 suggested donation, or just come and eat with a $20 suggested donation.

The organizers, who call themselves “staunch advocates for food, health and access,” are donating all of the proceeds directly to the World Food Programme and its relief efforts.

“IMAGINE A PITTSBURGH WHERE 90 PERCENT OF OUR CITY IS DECIMATED AND EVERYONE’S DISPLACED.” For Lizarondo, who grew up in the nation’s capital, Manila, “this is a cause very, very close to my heart.” When Grater-Kapoor suggested they turn the monthly meet-up into a fundraiser, Lizarondo thought the idea “genius.”

To give Pittsburghers some idea of the devastation caused by Haiyan, Lizarondo explains, “Pittsburgh is roughly 75 percent the size of Tacloban — the hardest-hit area — and reports say that 90 percent of the buildings there were destroyed or damaged.

Imagine a Pittsburgh where 90 percent of our city is decimated and everyone’s displaced. It is hard.”

But what the organizers can imagine is “the largest potluck Pittsburgh has ever had.” To Lizarondo, a potluck is all about getting together, giving and sharing. “That is what we wanted this event to reflect.”

The storm’s impact “is personal to me. … I was very much in a state of shock,” Lizarondo adds. But, motivated by Grater-Kapoor and an outpouring of support, Lizarondo is looking forward to breaking bread at Tuesday’s event.

“Pittsburgh is such a warm city,” she says. “I’m going to bring something Filipino, definitely!”

I N F O@ P G H C I T Y PA P E R. C OM

LOCAL

“WE HAVE FIVE ALBUMS OUT! THAT’S NOT A SIDE PROJECT.”

BEAT

{BY RORY D. WEBB}

For 18-year-old hip-hop artist Tairey (full name Tairey Perez), the lifestyle and environment of a musician is one he is accustomed to.

“My dad rapped when I was little,” he explains of his childhood in Massachusetts.

“Him and my uncle and their friends were in a group, and my dad would always take me to the studio with him.”

One of his father’s rap groups, M-Team, toured often. Sometimes, an adolescent Tairey would tag along.

“Going out of state with him and stuff was more of an inspiration. He had a show in Chicago that I went to where he performed with Lupe [Fiasco].

Seeing that was a huge eye-opener for me.”

Upon moving to Pittsburgh at age 10, Tairey became more enthralled by music.

Attending a combination of Obama Academy and Career Connections Charter School, he joined the Arts Greenhouse hip-hop music-education program, which holds classes at Carnegie Mellon University.

“When I was about 12, I was just writing raps that had no meaning,” says Tairey. “But when I went to Arts Greenhouse, they taught me how to take things that were happening and put them into music.”

It’s also where he learned how to produce using a MIDI keyboard and production software Reason, among other tools.

These developing skills, as both a writer and producer, are evident in Tairey’s four releases spanning the past two years: three albums and one EP. His latest, Decorated Time, showcases a knack for penning engaging, relatable lyrics and catchy choruses. The album’s production, collaboratively handled by Tairey and friend Sam Conturo, ranges from an atmospheric style resembling that of A$AP Rocky’s go-to producer Clams Casino, to something slightly more monumentalsounding, like N.E.R.D.’s Pharrell.

“When I was making Decorated Time, me and Sam went to Massachusetts for vacation,” Tairey explains. “We were in a house with a swimming pool in the backyard having fun. He brought his recording equipment; he had some loops for beats already and I had some on my computer as well and we kind of just mixed them together. All we did was, like, make beats, eat food, write, go swim, write again and then record.”

Music, videos, and merchandise from Tairey’s Blk Rbl clothing line are available at www.taireymusic.com.

Like father, like son: Tairey {PHOTO COURTESY OF BRIAN DENHAM}

STARTING YOUNG

LIFE AFTER

WEEN

{PHOTO COURTESY OF BETA KLEIN}

{BY ALLISON COSBY}

Another Saturday night with Moistboyz: Mickey Melchiondo Jr., left, and Guy Heller

M

ICKEY MELCHIONDO Jr. has been in the game for a long time.

Perhaps better known by his stage name Dean Ween, Melchiondo is an alternative rock guitarist and multiinstrumentalist. He was a founding member and lead guitarist of alternativerock band Ween, which gained a cultlike following in the ’90s for its experimentation and humor. Ween broke up last year when lead singer Aaron Freeman (Gene Ween) decided to focus on his solo career, but Melchiondo has stayed busy, and now the former Ween guitarist is back with a new album from his other longtime band, Moistboyz.

Moistboyz is Melchiondo and lead vocalist Guy Heller — as well as a changing lineup of friends and musicians that tours with them. It’s been nearly 20 years since their first release as Moistboyz and seven years since the last release, but when the two musicians were reunited for a special show last year, something clicked.

Heller is now based in Austin, Texas,

but headed up to New Hope, Pa., where Melchiondo lives, to play a show celebrating the 40th anniversary of a local bar and music venue. Shortly after that show, the duo began work on the new album, and Moistboyz V (also known as Medusa) was released in early November.

Medusa showcases a wider range of musical influences than previous Moistboyz albums. The heavy punk rock of the

MOISTBOYZ

WITH PET CLINIC 9 p.m. Tue., Dec. 10. Brillobox, 4104 Penn Ave., Bloomfield. $15.

412-621-4900 or www.brillobox.net

band’s earlier albums is still there, but this time it is infused with some Southern twang and more variety. “Each record is a natural progression from the last one,” Melchiondo explains. “You don’t ever want to go backwards.”

Indeed, the band has come a long way

since forming in 1991, when Melchiondo started working with Heller. In the early days, they just messed around, constantly writing and recording songs and then sending them to friends. But the group really took off when it released its debut EP in 1995. “I had no idea that 22 years later we’d be on our fifth album, touring the country,” recalls Melchiondo. “I’m really glad about it.”

For Melchiondo, Heller has been an ideal collaborator and the perfect person to bounce ideas off of. “We see eye-to-eye on rock ’n’ roll, Guy and I,” says Melchiondo, who calls Heller one of the most talented musicians he’s ever known.

Together, they have become known for their decidedly politically incorrect lyrics, which are almost exclusively written by Heller, as well as their lively stage presence. But they’ve also become more refined with age.

“When we started out, it was very experimental, very punk. But we worked very, very hard and we have grown as

INFO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

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OPUS ONE PRESENTS

12/07 12/07 12/10 12/13 12/13 12/14 12/17 12/19 12/21 12/26 12/29

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.04/12.11.2013

LIFE AFTER WEEN, CONTINUED FROM PG. 25

songwriters,” said Melchiondo. “The songs have gotten better, the music has gotten better, the lyrics have gotten better, the production has gotten better.”

The new record is a “high point” for the band, according to Melchiondo; it features some of Heller’s most honest and autobiographical lyrics and impressive instrumental work by the rest of the band.

On the album, Melchiondo is primarily present on guitar, though he also played drums and bass.

But the high point hasn’t come without effort. Melchiondo and Heller put a solid year of work into this album, and you can hear it in the final product. They threw out as many songs as they included for the sake of cohesion, and focused on refining the best songs of the bunch. “It’s very old-fashioned, the way we do things.

It’s the only way we know how to do things, and it takes a lot of work and time,” said Melchiondo.

Medusa is the band’s first release since the Ween breakup, but Melchiondo is quick to point out that Ween’s existence never changed anything about Moistboyz: “People will always call it a side project,” he says, “but we have five albums out! That’s not a side project; that’s more than most bands ever do.”

In between recording and touring, Melchiondo, a licensed boat captain, runs charters along the Delaware River and off the Jersey Shore. He’s always loved fishing, and the pastime gives him a chance to get away and write songs. The New Hope music community also continues to inspire his music; he plays two or three nights a week at a local bar with different combinations of friends and performers.

Melchiondo is also working on his first official solo release, Mickey, which was put on the back burner when Moistboyz picked up again last year. But he has already recorded many new songs — most with a heavier guitar focus than you might hear on a Ween record — and is hoping to finish the album next year.

Right now, though, Melchiondo is focused on Moistboyz. The band’s tour kicks off on Dec. 4 — appropriately, the first show is at the New Hope, Pa. bar where the group got its start — and the Moistboyz will be playing in Pittsburgh on Dec. 10.

The touring lineup currently features Melchiondo and Heller alongside Nick Oliveri (“the ultimate Moistboy,” according to Melchiondo), Hoss Wright and Stephan Haas.

“It’s a good vibe, we’re all friends and everybody rocks really hard,” said Melchiondo. “There’s not a lot of bands that bring it as hard as we do, and I don’t mind patting myself on the back and saying that.

You’ll go home satiated.”

INF O @PGH C IT YPAPE R . C O M

ON THE RECORD with Pandemic Pete {BY ANDY MULKERIN}

{PHOTO COURTESY OF COREY APPLEBY}

Pete Spynda, Pandemic impresario

In 2005, Pete Spynda, along with Caulen Kress and Justin Hopper, founded Pandemic, a global-music dance night at the then-new Brillobox. Eight years later Spynda — often known simply as “Pandemic Pete” — is celebrating the biweekly party’s eighth anniversary.

DID YOU THINK THE NIGHT WOULD LAST THIS LONG? No — I think we all just assumed it would last maybe a couple of months, maybe a year.

WHY DO YOU THINK PANDEMIC HAS STAYED VITAL? I don’t know! Maybe it’s my persistence? I still give it my all every month. Maybe it’s because it’s new to a lot of people. There are other parties around the city that explore different types of dance music, but I don’t think anyone’s really exploring the type of music I’m exploring.

EXPLAIN THE ANNIVERSARY EVENTS. I’ve been kind of infatuated with matryoshka dolls, the Russian nesting dolls.

I was talking to a friend of mine about having some cast, and having someone decorate them. So I asked twenty-some local artists to do that. I’ve been talking to some ethnomusicology students from Pitt about raising money for charities in Eastern Europe, to help the Roma people gain some civil rights, so all the proceeds will go to charity. The Carpathian Ensemble from Pitt decided to play as well.

AMULKERIN@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

PANDEMIC EIGHTH ANNIVERSARY. Fri., Dec. 6. Art show: 7-10 p.m. at Most Wanted Fine Art (5015 Penn Ave., Garfield) and 6-10 p.m. at Assemble (5125 Penn Ave., Garfield). Dance party: 9:30 p.m. Brillobox, 4104 Penn Ave., Bloomfield. $7-10.

412-621-4900 or www.brillobox.net

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{PHOTO COURTESY OF JARED ZAGHA}

The Elefant man: Diego Garcia

GETTING THE GIRL BACK {BY MARGARET WELSH} WHEN HE BROKE up with his long-term girlfriend, Diego Garcia — formerly the frontman of post-punk revival outfit Elefant — siphoned his heartbreak and disappointment into songwriting, and ended up with his first solo record, 2011’s Laura.

When it came to making his new record, Paradise, things were a little different.

“I wrote Laura when I was getting over a girl, and with Paradise, I went into the studio with her at my side,” he explains.

“So right off the bat I was in a completely different place, both emotionally and professionally.”

Soon after Laura’s release, the estranged couple had serendipitously reconnected in Rome; they’re now married with a young daughter. It all seems impossibly romantic, but — while Paradise is an undeniably romantic album — Garcia tells a cautionary tale. “I think that this record captures that energy of new love, hope, while constantly [reminding you] that if you take any of that for granted, it could slip away very quickly and you’ll be back in the gutter.” He pauses, then laughs. “Sorry to be such a downer.”

Elefant gained some notoriety in the mid-2000s on the heels of bands like Interpol and Franz Ferdinand, and toured with Morrissey and The National — though the band never received the critical approval of many of its contemporaries. Back then, Garcia worked his best dark Brit-pop strut, which once earned him New York

Magazine’s “Sexiest Lead Singer” title.

These days, his persona is more subdued. Some of that has to do with getting older, and having a kid — Garcia jokes that he can now change a diaper while playing guitar — but his influences have lately shifted toward Latin troubadours like Roberto Carlos, José Feliciano and Julio Iglesias. These were the artists Garcia’s Argentine parents listened to while he was growing up. But, he says, “I think describing it as a major influence is a little misleading.

At the end of the day, I’m an American kid who’s probably more inspired by Neil Diamond and Lou Reed. These Latin artists are from my subconscious.”

Wherever this influence resides in Garcia’s brain, it seems to suit him: Paradise is Garcia at his warmest, and most mature.

The record’s best songs — including the lush, dramatic “Tell Me,” the joyful, Spanish-guitar-heavy “Start With The End,” and the wistful, cinematic “My Everything” — unfold effortlessly, showcasing a knack for classic, ’60s-style pop writing.

“I’M AN AMERICAN KID WHO’S PROBABLY MORE INSPIRED

BY NEIL DIAMOND AND LOU REED.”

DIEGO GARCIA

WITH CALEB POGYOR 8 p.m. Wed., Dec. 11. Club Café, 56 S. 12th St., South Side. $10. 412-431-4950 or www.clubcafelive.com

“When you’re a solo artist, you have the freedom to explore so many different styles,” Garcia says of blending his “parents’ music” with the American rock ’n’ roll he loved growing up. “I had to make some tough decisions. I don’t want it to sound like a science fair: It has to come out naturally.”

M W E L S H@ P G H C I T Y PA P E R. C OM

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.04/12.11.2013

{PHOTO COURTESY OF SHAWN BRACKBILL}

CRITICS’ PICKS

[PUNK] + FRI., DEC. 06

[ROCK] + FRI., DEC. 06

Surely it’s something you’ve thought of many times: There are so many wall calendars out there with pictures of, like, Kate Upton, but why are there none with Submachine? Lucky for you, local punk-scene figure Ryan Warmbrodt has got your hookup — the 2014 Pittsburgh Calendar Comp. There’s a calendar (each month features a photo of a band, like The Legendary Hucklebucks), and a vinyl compilation, with a song from each band. The calendar gets a boost this weekend with three release shows.

Andy Mulkerin 9 p.m. Howlers, 4509 Liberty Ave., Bloomfield (Submachine, Thunder Vest, The Cheats, The Beagle Brothers). $5.

412-682-0322. Also: 9 p.m. Sat., Dec. 7 at Hambone’s, 4207 Butler St., Lawrenceville (The Legendary Hucklebucks, Homeless Gospel Choir, Bottle Rat, Latecomer). $5. 412-681-4318. And: 7 p.m. Sun., Dec. 8. 222 Ormsby St., Mount Oliver Elan (Edhochuli, Bastard Bearded Irishmen, Dead Trotman Batteries, Crooked Cobras). $5. All ages. www.calendarcomp.com

Steve Winwood was only 17 when he had his first hit with the Spencer Davis Group (“Keep on Running”). It was an early start to what would be a monumental career for that unforgettable voice, including his collaboration with Clapton in Blind Faith, stardom with Traffic and solo success with — face it, sort of cheesy-good — ’80s hits like “Higher Love” and “Back in the High Life Again.” He plays the Carnegie Music Hall in Oakland tonight; Michael Bernard Fitzgerald opens. AM 7 p.m.

4400 Forbes Ave., Oakland. $57-80. All ages. www.druskyentertainment.com

It’s been two years since space-rock duo Zombi played Pittsburgh, but the partly locally based group — Steve Moore and A.E. Paterra — is back on tour this month. Zombi experiments with looping to make heavily layered tracks, and the tour coincides with a reissue of three of its out-of-print EPs. In recent years, the duo has been busy managing the limited-run cassette label VCO Recordings, scoring films and working on solo music. (Moore’s solo album Pangaea Ultima was released earlier this year.) Zombi will be playing at Carnegie Library Music Hall of Homestead with Italian prog-rock group Goblin, best known for its work with film soundtracks (including 1977 horror film Suspiria). Allison Cosby 8 p.m.

510 E. 10th St., Munhall. $28-30. All ages.

412-368-5225 or www.librarymusichall.com

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[JAZZ] + SUN., DEC. 08 If sax is your jam, Latitude 40 is the place to be tonight: Two internationally known axe men are playing a holiday show for smooth-jazz lovers. Elan Trotman has toured with the likes of Michael McDonald, and Marcus Anderson plays with Prince himself (in addition to Sheila E. and plenty of others). They team up with a few local ensembles — the Shady Side Academy Jazz Ensemble, Midnight Snack Trio and South Fayette Jazz Band — for tonight’s gig. AM 6 p.m.

200 Quinn Drive, Robinson. $40 includes dinner.

All ages. 412-693-5555 or www.latitude40pitt.com

[DANCE] + WED., DEC. 11 Sacramento-based dance-punk band !!! (most commonly pronounced “chk-chk-chk”) has traded its unpredictable, politically charged dance music for a cleaner, more disco-focused sound on its fifth full-length album THR!!!ER, which was released in April. The group (which features local drummer Paul Quattrone, of Shockwave Riderz) is hard to classify and even harder to search on Google, but easy to dance to, and its all-ages show tonight at Altar Bar is sure to brighten up your week. AC 8 p.m. 1620 Penn Ave., Strip District. $13.50-15. 412-206-9719 or www.thealtarbar.com

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THIS WEEK

[SPACE ROCK] + FRI., DEC. 06

The City’s Hottest Live Music Scene!

UPCOMING NATIONAL SHOWS

Zombi

BUY TICKETS NOW AT JERGELS.COM

Wed 12.4 NICK MARZOCK & NINA SAINATO // 8:00 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Thu 12.5 FRANK VIERA, JOHNNY MILLER AND MICHAEL CHRISTOPHER BAND // 8:00 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Fri 12.6 THE RETURN #1 National Beatles Tribute Band // 9pm // $15 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Sat 12.7 SHADES OF JUNE // 9:00 // $7 cover -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Sun 12.8 PITTSBURGH VS. MIAMI // 1pm A Benefit for Carl Tokarsky’s Double Lung Transplant // 3-10pm

featuring the music of JOE GRUSHECKY AND THE HOUSEROCKERS, TRES LADS, SHARI RICHARDS and WRECK LOOSE

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Mon 12.9 BALCONY BIG BAND // 8:00

103 Slade Lane, Warrendale, PA 15086

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Pitt Men’s Glee Club

124th Annual Holiday Concert Saturday, December 7th at 7:00 PM First Baptist Church of Pittsburgh 159 North Bellefield Avenue, Pittsburgh, PA 15213

www.music.pitt.edu/tickets 30

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.04/12.11.2013

(412) 624-7529

CIOPPINO SEAFOOD CHOPHOUSE BAR. Terrance Vaughn Trio. Strip District.

412-281-6593.

DOWNEY’S HOUSE. The Lava Game. Robinson. 412-489-5631.

LAVA LOUNGE. Stone Cold Killer, The Bessemers. South Side.

412-431-5282.

PALACE THEATRE. The Temptations. Greensburg.

724-836-8000.

THUNDERBIRD CAFE. Stray Birds, Daniel Marcus American Aquarium.

Lawrenceville. 412-682-0177.

FRI 06 31ST STREET PUB. Ego Likeness, Servitor. Strip District.

412-391-8334.

AMPLIFY CHURCH. Big Daddy Weave, Meredith Andrews. .

CARNEGIE LIBRARY OF HOMESTEAD MUSIC HALL. Goblin, Zombi. . 412-368-5225.

CLUB CAFE. Start Making Sense - A Tribute to The Talking Heads.

South Side. 412-431-4950.

GARFIELD ARTWORKS. Eric & Erica, The Wreckids, Morgan Erina. Garfield.

412-361-2262.

HARD ROCK CAFE. Matthew Curry & the Fury. Station Square.

412-481-7625.

HOWLERS COYOTE CAFE. Submachine, The Cheats, Thunder Vest, Beagle Bros.

Calendar Comp Release #1.

Bloomfield. 412-682-0320.

KENDREW’S. Lucky Me. 724-375-5959.

MR. SMALLS THEATER. Anthony Green, Dave Davison, Psychic Babble. Millvale.

866-468-3401.

OLD TRAILS. Silkwood Shower.

Washington. 724-225-0484.

PALACE THEATRE. Michael McDonald. Greensburg.

724-836-8000.

THE SHOP. Butterbirds, cbend, Dazzletine, Nic Lawless.

Butterbirds CD Release. Bloomfield.

412-951-0622.

THUNDERBIRD CAFE. Randall Baumann’s Thunderbird Ramble, Old E Allstars. Lawrenceville.

412-682-0177.

SAT 07 ALTAR BAR. Heffron Drive, Kendall Schmidt. Strip District.

412-263-2877.

BUCKHEAD SALOON. Lava Game. Station Square.

412-232-3101.

CARNEGIE LIBRARY OF HOMESTEAD MUSIC HALL. Jeremy Camp, Aide Camp.

Christmas show. . 412-368-5225.

THE CENTER OF HARMONY. Julian Roso. Harmony.

570-294-6450.

CLUB CAFE. The Wheals, EMay (Early) The Inseams, Grasping at Straws (Late). South Side.

412-431-4950.

COWBOY’S PLACE. Code Whiskey. . 724-603-2877.

DOWNEY’S HOUSE. Leftover Blues. Robinson. 412-489-5631.

GARFIELD ARTWORKS. Graph Rabbit, Aydin, Willower, Erika Blatnik. Garfield.

412-361-2262.

HAMBONE’S. The Legendary Hucklebucks, The Homeless Gospel Choir, Bottle Rat, Latecomer.

Calendar Comp Release #2.

Lawrenceville. 412-681-4318.

MR. SMALLS THEATER. Max Bemis, Matt Pryor, Sherri DuPree Demis, Perma, Merriment.

Millvale. 866-468-3401.

THE R BAR. Norm Nardini.

Dormont. 412-942-0882.

RPM’S 31 SPORTS BAR & GRILLE. Silkwood Shower.

Bridgeville. 412-221-7808.

SALATINO’S RIVERHOUSE CAFE. The Dave Iglar Band.

724-565-5700.

SILKS LOUNGE AT THE MEADOWS. Radio Tokyo.

Washington.

SMILING MOOSE. Conditions, Lions Lions. South Side.

412-431-4668.

SUB ALPINE CLUB. E-Z Action, Deliverance. . 412-823-6661.

THUNDERBIRD CAFE. City Dwelling Nature Seekers, Megan Burtt & the Cure for Love. Lawrenceville.

412-682-0177.

SUN 08 222 ORMSBY. Bastard Bearded Irishmen, Edhochuli, Dead Batteries, Crooked Cobras.

Calendar Comp Release #3.

Mt. Oliver. 412-681-4318.

BRILLOBOX. Dosh, Triangle & Rhino, Submistress. Bloomfield.

412-621-4900.

SING SING. The Duration, Lyndsey Smith & Soul Distribution, The Unit!, Hakim Rasheed. Waterfront.

412-223-7634.

MON 09 HOWLERS COYOTE CAFE. Muscle

MP 3 MONDAY STORM KING {PHOTO COURTESY OF PAUL WERKMEISTER}

ROCK/POP

Each week, we bring you a new MP3 from a local band. This week’s offering comes from Storm King, which released a new album last month. Stream or download

“Eternal Sleep Lord” for free on our music blog, FFW>>, at pghcitypaper.com.

Worship, Amplifiers, Nevada Mountains. Bloomfield.

412-682-0320.

TUE 10 ALTAR BAR. Norma Jean, Vanna, Kenmode, Exotic Animal Petting Zoo, more. Strip District.

412-263-2877.

BRILLOBOX. Moistboyz, Pet Clinic.

Bloomfield. 412-621-4900.

CLUB CAFE. Zoe Keating.

South Side. 412-431-4950.

THE HANDLE BAR & GRILLE. Michael Todd. Canonsburg.

724-884-5944.

HARD ROCK CAFE. Taproot.

Station Square. 412-481-7625.

MR. SMALLS THEATER. Protest The Hero, Architects, The Kindred, Affiance. Millvale. 866-468-3401.

PETERSEN EVENTS CENTER. Backstreet Boys, Avril Lavigne, Gavin DeGraw, The Fray, Five For Fighting, Plain White T’s. Oakland.

412-648-3054.

SAT 07 CAPRI PIZZA AND BAR. Saturday Night Meltdown. Top 40, Hip Hop, Club, R&B, Funk & Soul.

East Liberty. 412-362-1250.

CATTIVO. Illusions. w/ Funerals & Arvin Clay. Lawrenceville.

412-687-2157.

DIESEL. DJ CK. South Side.

412-431-8800.

ROWDY BUCK. Top 40 Dance.

South Side. 412-431-2825.

S BAR. Pete Butta. South Side.

412-481-7227.

SUN 08 SMILING MOOSE. The Upstage Nation. DJ EzLou & N8theSk8.

Electro, post punk, industrial, new wave, alternative dance. South Side. 412-431-4668.

TUE 10

ALTAR BAR. !!! Strip District.

412-263-2877.

BENEDUM CENTER. Straight No Chaser. Downtown. 412-456-6666.

CLUB CAFE. Diego Garcia, Caleb Pogyor. South Side. 412-431-4950.

THE HANDLE BAR & GRILLE. Sputzy Sparacino. Canonsburg.

724-746-4227.

SMILING MOOSE. Step Rockets, Nevada Color. South Side.

412-431-4668.

DJS THU 05 ALLEGHENY WINE MIXER. J. Malls. Lawrenceville. 412-252-2337.

BELVEDERE’S. Neon w/ DJ hatesyou. 80s Night. Lawrenceville.

412-687-2555.

CLUB TABOO. DJ Matt & Gangsta Shak. Homewood. 412-969-0260.

PARK HOUSE. Jx4. North Side.

412-224-2273.

PERLE CHAMPAGNE BAR. Bobby D. Downtown. 412-471-2058.

SMILING MOOSE. Bill Bara, Mad Mike, TyFun, Rick Diculous. South Side. 412-478-3863.

FRI 06 BACKSTAGE BAR AT THEATRE SQUARE. Salsa Fridays. DJ Jeff Shirey, DJ Carlton, DJ Paul Mitchell.

Downtown. 412-456-6666.

BRILLOBOX. Pandemic.

8th anniversary party feat. DJ BOOGAT & Mayday Marching Band. Bloomfield. 412-621-4900.

CAPRI PIZZA AND BAR. Bombo Claat Friday’s Reggae. East Liberty.

412-362-1250.

LAVA LOUNGE. 80’s Alternative.

DJ Electric. South Side.

412-431-5282.

ONE 10 LOUNGE. DJ Goodnight, DJ Rojo. Downtown. 412-874-4582.

REMEDY. Cured. Basic Soul Unit, Jason Ulrich. Lawrenceville.

412-862-8999.

ROWDY BUCK. Top 40 Dance.

South Side. 412-431-2825.

RUGGER’S PUB. 80s Night w/ DJ Connor. South Side. 412-381-1330.

FRI 06 ANDYS. Dane Vannatter.

Downtown. 412-773-8884.

ELWOOD’S PUB. Erin Burkett, Virgil Walters, Eric Suseoff.

724-265-1181.

LEMONT. Take Two. Mt. Washington. 412-431-3100.

MARVA JO’S BISTRO. The Tony Campell Band. McKeesport.

412-664-7200.

SUPPER CLUB RESTAURANT. RML Jazz. Greensburg.

412-370-9621.

SAT 07

SMILING MOOSE. Bill Bara, Mad Mike, TyFun, Rick Diculous.

South Side. 412-478-3863.

ANDYS. Maureen Budway.

Downtown. 412-773-8884.

CIOPPINO SEAFOOD CHOPHOUSE BAR. Lucarelli Brothers, Peg BLOOMFIELD Wilson. Strip District.

BRIDGE TAVERN. 412-281-6593.

Fuzz! Drum & bass CJ’S. The Tony weekly. Bloomfield. www. per Campbell Saturday Jazz pa 412-682-8611. pghcitym o .c Jam Session. Strip District.

SPOON. Spoon Fed. 412-642-2377.

Hump day chill. House MANCHESTER music. aDesusParty. East CRAFTSMEN’S GUILD. Dianne Liberty. 412-362-6001.

Schuur & Friends North Side.

412-322-1773.

MARVA JO’S BISTRO. The Tony Campell Band. McKeesport.

412-664-7200.

THE ALLOY STUDIOS. NOLA ON THE SQUARE. Neon Anqwenique Wingfield, MC Swing X-Perience. Downtown.

Shad Ali, TRIO+, Tracksploitation, 412-471-9100.

Creative Chemistry, more.

SUPPER CLUB RESTAURANT. Groove Aesthetic: Bach Boom Box. Frank Cunimondo, Patricia Skala.

Friendship. 419-296-8030.

Greensburg. 724-850-7245.

WED 11

WED 11

Factor. Strip District. 412-642-2377.

HARVARD & HIGHLAND. The Flying Dutchmen. East Liberty.

412-363-7675.

LITTLE E’S. Jessica Lee & Friends.

Entrepreneurial Thursdays.

Downtown. 412-392-2217.

FULL LIST ONLINE

HIP HOP/R&B FRI 06

BLUES

SUN 08

THU 05 THE HOP HOUSE. Yoho’s Yinzide Out. Green Tree. 412-922-9560.

MOONDOG’S. The Sauce Boss.

Blawnox. 412-828-2040.

FRI 06 MOONDOG’S. Miss Freddye’s Blues Band, Shannon & the Merger. Blawnox. 412-828-2040.

NOLA ON THE SQUARE. John Gresh’s Gris-Gris. Downtown.

412-471-9100.

PENN BREWERY. The Blues Orphans. North Side. 412-237-9400.

SAT 07 ELWOOD’S PUB. Ms. Freddye’s Home Cookin’ Band. 724-265-1181.

FRANK’S PUB & GRILL. Jill West & Blues Attack.

Bethel Park. 412-833-4606.

MOONDOG’S. Mahajibee.

Blawnox. 412-828-2040.

WINTZELL’S OYSTER HOUSE. Shot O’ Soul. West Mifflin.

412-650-9090.

JAZZ THU 05 ANDYS. Bronwyn Wyatt.

Downtown. 412-773-8884.

CJ’S. Rodger Humphries & The RH

EMMANUEL EPISCOPAL CHURCH. Jazz at Emmanuel.

North Side. 412-231-0454.

LATITUDE 40. Elan Trotman, Marcus Anderson. North Fayette.

412-567-2804.

MANSIONS ON FIFTH. Mark Stickland. Shadyside.

OMNI WILLIAM PENN. Frank Cunimondo. Downtown.

412-553-5235.

SONOMA GRILLE. Rick Matt.

Downtown. 412-697-1336.

TUE 10 ANDYS. John Marcinizyn.

Downtown. 412-773-8884.

BACKSTAGE BAR AT THEATRE SQUARE. Spanky Wilson.

Downtown. 412-456-6666.

THUNDERBIRD CAFE. Space Exchange Series feat. Jasper Lewis.

Lawrenceville. 412-682-0177.

WED 11 ANDYS. Lisa Hindmarsh.

Downtown. 412-773-8884.

NOLA ON THE SQUARE. Velvet Heat. Downtown. 412-471-9100.

ACOUSTIC THU 05 ELWOOD’S PUB. West Deer CONTINUES ON PG. 32

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CONCERTS, CONTINUED FROM PG. 31

UPPER DECK CAFE

Pittsburgh Hockey Special

$3.50 Coors Light 20 drafts oz

during all Pittsburgh hockey games

FRI 06

SAT 07

SAT 07

FRI 06

BOTTLEBRUSH GALLERY & SHOP. The Early Mays. Harmony.

724-452-0539.

CIP’S. Driving Blind. Dormont.

412-668-2335.

OLIVE OR TWIST. The Vagrants.

Downtown. 412-255-0525.

OLIVER’S POURHOUSE. Acoustic Fingers. Greensburg. 724-836-7687.

SEWICKLEY HOTEL. Jay Wiley.

Sewickley. 412-741-5804.

CARNEGIE LIBRARY, OAKLAND. Slim Forsythe.

Oakland. 412-622-3151.

SILKS LOUNGE AT THE MEADOWS. Justin Fabus Band.

Washington.

PAPA J’S RISTORANTE. Gene Stovall. Carnegie. 412-429-7272.

WED 11 122 West 8th Avenue Homestead, PA 412-461-8124 www.dukesupperdeck.com

WORLD

BIDDLE’S ESCAPE. Ronni Weiss.

Regent Square. 412-999-9009.

MULLANEY’S HARP & FIDDLE. Tim & John. Strip District.

412-642-6622.

OLIVER’S POURHOUSE. The Weedrags. Greensburg.

724-836-7687.

PARK HOUSE. Midnight Rooster.

North Side. 412-224-2273.

TUE 10

ALLEGHENY ELKS LODGE #339.

Pittsburgh Banjo Club. Weds.

North Side. 412-321-1834.

BIDDLE’S ESCAPE. EMAY. Regent Square. 412-999-9009.

PITTSBURGH PUBLIC MARKET. Vince Burns. Strip District.

412-281-4505.

COUNTRY THU 05 ELWOOD’S PUB. The Fiddlers.

724-265-1181.

Brillobox, 4104 Penn Ave., Bloomfield

THE CHATHAM UNIVERSITY CHOIR. Chatham University, Shadyside. 412-365-1100.

PITTSBURGH SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA. Feat. Manfred Honeck, conductor & The Tallis Scholars. Heinz Hall, Downtown.

412-392-4900.

THE PITTSBURGH CAMERATA. It Was All Shining: A Camerata Christmas St. Andrew’s Episcopal Church, Highland Park.

412-421-5884.

PITTSBURGH SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA. Feat. Manfred Honeck, conductor & The Tallis Scholars. Heinz Hall, Downtown.

412-392-4900.

PITTSBURGH SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA. Feat. Manfred Honeck, conductor & The Tallis Scholars. Heinz Hall, Downtown.

412-392-4900.

OTHER MUSIC

Come and enjoy good food and sample all of the 21st Amendment beers!

FRI 06

32

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.04/12.11.2013

{SAT., MARCH 01}

The Avett Brothers Petersen Events Center, 3719 Terrace St., Oakland {FRI., MARCH 14}

Ramsey Lewis Manchester Craftsmen’s Guild, 1815 Metropolitan St., North Side

SAT 07

THU 05

Social at Bakery Square on Penn Avenue

{SUN., JAN. 26}

Frankie Rose

FRI 06

Celebrate Repeal Day! There will be lots of cool 21st Amendment giveaways for the Repeal Day Celebration

Frankie Rose

CLASSICAL

SUN 08

Thursday December 5th, 6-8pm

EARLY WARNINGS

PARK HOUSE. The Armadillos.

412-224-2273. Bluegrass Jam w/ The Shelf Life String Band. North Side. 412-224-2273.

{PHOTO COURTESY OF SEBASTIAN MLYNARSKI}

Duke’s

Bluegrass Review. 724-265-1181.

FIRE K STUDIOS. Christopher Hannigan. . 412-655-3030.

SEVICHE. Alex Talbot. Downtown.

412-697-3120.

DEL’S RESTAURANT. Marco Fiorante. Bloomfield.

412-683-1448.

THE CHADWICK. Latshaw Pops Orchestra: Christmas Memories.

Wexford. 724-853-4050.

FRI 06 BRIGHTWOOD CHRISTIAN CHURCH. The Harmony Singers.

Comin’ Up Christmas Time. Bethel Park. 412-835-6703.

CARNEGIE MELLON UNIVERSITY. Carnegie Mellon Philharmonic & Choirs Holiday Concert. Great Hall, College of Fine Arts. Oakland. 412-268-2383.

INGOMAR UNITED METHODIST CHURCH. Pittsburgh Concert Chorale. . 412-635-7654.

WCCC YOUNGWOOD. WCCC Choir & Orchestras. Dashing to Relax. Youngwood.

724-925-4000.

FULL LIST E N O LwIN w.

SAT 07

CONSOL ENERGY CENTER. Trans-Siberian w r e p pa Orchestra. Uptown. pghcitym o .c 412-642-1800.

EAST LIBERTY PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH. CLUB COLONY. Guy Matone.

A Blues Christmas. Holiday Scott. 412-668-0903. concert feat. East Liberty LEMONT. Night Star.

Community Engagement Mt. Washington. 412-431-3100.

Orchestra, Hope Academy Middle School Band, Hope Academy Teen Theater Company, more.

East Liberty. 412-441-3800 x 11.

FOX CHAPEL PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH. Pittsburgh Concert CARNEGIE MUSIC HALL. Chorale. Fox Chapel. 412-635-7654.

Carnegie Mellon Philharmonic & NORTHGATE HIGH SCHOOL. Choirs Holiday Concert. Oakland.

Pittsburgh Philharmonic Holiday 412-268-2383.

Pops. Bellevue. 412-223-7501.

CLUB COLONY. Coz Serrapere. Scott.

412-668-0903.

SAT 07

HOLIDAY MUSIC THU 05

SYNOD HALL. Piffaro. Drive the Cold Winter Away. Presented by Renaissance & Baroque. Oakland.

412-361-2048.

WCCC YOUNGWOOD. WCCC Choir & Orchestras. Dashing to Relax. Youngwood. 724-925-4000.

SUN 08 INGOMAR UNITED METHODIST CHURCH. Pittsburgh Concert Chorale. . 412-635-7654.

MCKEESPORT AREA HIGH SCHOOL. Orchestra of the Alleghenies. McKeesport.

412-664-2854.

SHADYSIDE PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH. Shadyside Presbyterian Church Chancel Choir. Poulenc’s Gloria. Shadyside. 412-682-4300.

MON 09 LIGONIER THEATER. Latshaw Pops Orchestra: Hawaiian Christmas Show. . 724-836-8000.

TUE 10 PALACE THEATRE. Latshaw Pops Orchestra: Christmas Memories.

Greensburg. 724-836-8000.

WED 11 LINCOLN PARK PERFORMING ARTS CENTER. River City Brass Band. Christmas Brasstacular.

724-576-4644.

NORTHMONT UNITED PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH. J. Richard Szeremany, organ, Carly Noel Black, soprano. Advent & Christmas Organ Music. Noon.

412-364-0105.

What to do

IN PITTSBURGH

December 4 - 10 WEDNESDAY 47 Mellowhigh

MR. SMALLS THEATRE Millvale. 412-821-4447.

With special guests Hodgy Beats, Domo Genesis & more. All ages show. Tickets: ticketweb.com/opusone or 866-468-3401. 8p.m.

THURSDAY 59 The Lawrenceville Joy of Cookies Cookie Tour

BUTLER STREET Lawrenceville.

412-683-6488. Free event.

For more info visit lvpgh.com/ cookietour. Through Dec. 8.

Anthony Green MR. SMALLS THEATRE Millvale. 412-821-4447.

With special guests Dave Davison & more. All ages show. Tickets: ticketweb.com/ opusone or 866-468-3401.

7:30p.m.

Jeff Dunham Disorderly Conduct CONSOL ENERGY CENTER Downtown. Tickets: ticketmaster.com or 800-745-3000. 8p.m.

THE NUTCRACKER FRIDAY, DECEMBER 6 BENEDUM CENTER

Norma Jean

Downtown. 412-456-6666.

Tickets: trustarts.org.

8p.m.

Max Bemis

Romeo and Juliet

MR. SMALLS THEATRE Millvale. 412-821-4447.

All ages show. Tickets: ticketweb.com/opusone or 866-468-3401. 7:30p.m.

ROCKWELL THEATRE, PITTSBURGH PLAYHOUSE Downtown. 412-392-8000.

Tickets: pittsburghplayhouse. com. Through Dec. 15.

SUNDAY 84

Taproot

CARNEGIE MUSIC HALL OF OAKLAND Oakland. All ages show. Tickets: ticketfly.com or 800-745-3000. 8p.m.

ALTAR BAR Strip District.

412-263-2877. All ages show. Tickets: ticketfly.com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 6:15p.m.

A Musical Christmas Carol

The Nutcracker

Goblin

BYHAM THEATER Downtown.

412-456-6666. Tickets: pittsburghclo.org. Through Dec. 22.

BENEDUM CENTER Downtown. 412-456-6666.

Tickets: pbt.org. Through Dec. 29.

CARNEGIE LIBRARY MUSIC HALL Munhall. 412-3685225. All ages show. Tickets: carnegieconcerts.com. 8p.m.

ALTAR BAR Strip District.

412-263-2877. With special guests The Attack, A Lovely Crisis & more. All ages show. Tickets: ticketfly.com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 7p.m.

SATURDAY 70 Highland Park Pottery Tour

HIGHLAND PARK. Free event. For more info visit highlandparkpotterytour. com. Through Dec. 8.

newbalancepittsburgh.com

HALL Munhall. 412-3685225. With special guest Aide Camp. All ages show.

Tickets: carnegieconcerts. com. 8p.m.

Misfits

Steve Winwood

FRIDAY 69

PAID ADVERTORIAL SPONSORED BY

MONDAY 95

Jeremy Camp

Trailer Park Boys

CARNEGIE LIBRARY MUSIC

BENEDUM CENTER

TUESDAY 10

HARD ROCK CAFE Station Square. 412-481-ROCK. Limited all ages.

Tickets: ticketfly.com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 8p.m.

Protest The Hero MR. SMALLS THEATRE Millvale. 412-821-4447.

All ages show. Tickets: ticketweb.com/opusone or 866-468-3401. 7p.m.

DOWNLOAD THE FUN & FREE CP HAPPS APP TO FIND THE MOST POPULAR EVENTS IN PITTSBURGH

Download the fun & free CP HAPPS APP To find the most popular events in Pittsburgh Available on the App Store and Google Play.

CYBER HOLIDAY SALE!

SUPER SAVINGS 890V3

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OAKLAND O

IN STOCK ONLY WHILE SUPPLIES LAST. N E W S

3810 FORBES AVE 3 412-697-1333

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33

MODERN FAMILY

THERE’S NO DIVINE REDEMPTION HERE, JUST MORE DARKNESS

{BY AL HOFF} Steve Hoover’s independently produced Blood Brother is the little documentary that could: Made on donations, it won big at Sundance earlier this year. But it also tells a similar, inspiring story — how one unlikely young man harnessed his own reserves, persevered against tough odds, and transformed his life and the lives of many others.

SLOW BURN

Rocky Braat (right), with Surya

CP APPROVED

A couple of years ago, Rocky Braat journeyed to India, and found himself captivated by an orphanage for children with HIV/AIDS. Adopting a volunteer role as teacher, caretaker, playmate, cook and foster family member — the kids call him “Rockyanna,” meaning “big brother” — Braat made caring for these children his life’s work. He invited his best friend, Pittsburgh filmmaker Hoover, to visit, and this footage comprises Blood Brother.

The film is deceptively low key, as footage of scenery and kids playing folds into the stark realities of life and death.

There is joy here, but also misery and privation. Braat is a compelling guide, as he struggles not only with the day-to-day, but also with larger questions about what his role is as privileged outsider who has chosen this life. His own vulnerability is never far from the surface; like these orphans, Braat is also seeking a family. It is a path that will never run smooth, but the mutual benefits are irrefutable. Starts Fri., Dec. 6. Regent Square AHOFF@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

Man vs. Deer,

in Out of the Furnace: The other film about troubled young men in a Western Pennsylvania steel town was 1978’s The Deer Hunter.

And Furnace features a notable deer-hunting scene that is surely a tip of the hat to that first film.

{BY AL HOFF}

S

COTT COOPER’S Out of the Furnace

opens by sketching the critical traits of its three main characters: Russell Baze (Christian Bale) works at the steel mill in a fading town; his younger brother Rodney (Casey Affleck) is at the OTB making impulsive bets; and at the drive-in, Harlan DeGroat (Woody Harrelson) savagely beats two people. Duty, carelessness, violence: What each man brings to the table ultimately undoes him.

The story begins in 2008, but the unraveling begins a couple of years later.

Back from serving in Iraq, Rodney fights in illegal matches, paying off a local fixer, John Petty (Willem Dafoe). Russell has done a stint in jail, but is back at home and the mill. Inevitably, Rodney and Petty get missed up with DeGroat, who runs even bigger illegal fights, and it’s left to Russell to clean up the mess.

Despite trailers that make the film look like an actioner, Furnace is a slower drama. Its best scenes are quiet, and Cooper, clearly enamored of the Rust Belt landscape, spends a lot of time

Russell Baze (Christian Bale) watches and waits.

depicting the run-down town. Braddock (and North Braddock) plays itself, though care has been taken to not show any of the town’s recent improvements or, say, the bustling shopping center across the river. Furnace is all boarded-up storefronts, empty streets and rusting hulks of long-dead industry.

OUT OF THE FURNACE DIRECTED BY: Scott Cooper STARRING: Christian Bale, Casey Affleck, Woody Harrelson Starts Fri., Dec. 6

CP APPROVED Cooper, who co-wrote the film with Brad Ingelsby, builds up a relatively solid story that straddles kitchen-sink drama with more Hollywood aspects. He gets painted in at the end, where actions are more consistent with settling the plot and its themes than they are organic.

Some of the wobblier material is saved by the actors (including Sam Shepard and

Forest Whitaker), and I’m even willing to forgive Harrelson for portraying another bug-eyed, hillbilly sociopath.

Cooper is partial to intercutting scenes that contrast a solid way of living (as it was) with Rodney’s troubles: Russell fixes up their home, Rodney screws up a bout; Russell goes deer hunting with his uncle; Rodney and Petty make an ill-advised journey out of state. What transpires results from poor decisions, and perhaps these dark roads might have been turned down anyway. The downbeat story implies there isn’t much hope for this generation of Bazes: Rodney joins the Army and returns crippled with PTSD; Russell works at the mill, which is now closing.

At one point Russell attends a church service, and the priest explains, “With his stripes, we are healed.” Christ chose to suffer for mankind’s sins, and so too does Russell believe he can take the burden for his brother’s transgressions.

But there’s no divine redemption here, just more darkness.

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.04/12.11.2013

country inn is run by their old Army general, and he’s in financial straits. Looks like a big musical show might be the ticket! Besides the title song, Michael Curtiz’s 1954 film includes other Irving Berlin classics such as “Count Your Blessings Instead of Sheep” and “Blue Skies.” 7:30 p.m. Thu., Dec. 5. AMC Loews. $5

FILM CAPSULES CP

= CITY PAPER APPROVED

NEW

IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE. Frank Capra’s beloved 1946 holiday classic, in which a harried man (Jimmy Stewart) rediscovers the simple joys of life, shows on the big screen. 7 p.m. Fri., Dec. 6 and 7 p.m.

Sat., Dec. 7 (Oaks). Also, 7:30 p.m. Tue., Dec. 10 (AMC Loews)

A PERFECT MAN. Jeanne Tripplehorn and Liev Schrieber star in this semi-serious rom-com in which an American married couple living in Amsterdam breaks up and then ponders the whys and hows of getting back together.

Kees Van Oostrum’s film is reminiscent of a European film, in which the action takes place only in a rarefied world of well-dressed, affluent intellectuals who live in simply fabulous spaces.

Pretty to look at, but I’m not sure that even the hard-working actors sold me the story: Its questions of “what men/women want” were answered only in the flimsiest of clichés, and none of this was frothy enough to paper over what looked like a rightfully busted marriage and deliver something satisfying. Starts Fri., Dec. 6.

Harris (Al Hoff) TWICE BORN. Sergio Castellitto’s nonlinear melodrama spans a couple of decades, from the early 1980s to contemporary times. We follow the lives of a loosely connected group, who all meet up amongst artists and intellectuals in Bosnia before the war. The outsiders are an Italian woman, Gemma (Penelope Cruz), and her lover, a rakish American photographer (Emile Hirsch), who return to Italy and find their relationship tested first by infertility, and then by the war in Sarajevo. The first hour of Castellitto’s film is rather meandering, cutting between Gemma’s return to Sarajevo with her teenage son, and the unfolding of the

MADOKA MAGICA PART 3. This is the final part of the anime trilogy, based on the popular Japanese manga and TV show about a girl who has magical powers, and conflicted feelings about them. Akiyuki Shinbo and Yukihiro Miyamoto direct this new film, released in Japan in October. 7 and 10 p.m. Fri., Dec. 6; and 7 and 10 p.m. Sat., Dec. 7. Hollywood. $15 (advance tickets at www.showclix.com)

Twice Born tumultuous times of her youth. But as the war takes precedence, the various threads of the story come into sharper relief and the second half is more dramatically satisfying. A love affair during war is classic melodrama (with almost certain tragic outcomes), but Cruz finds a way to make this somewhat soapy tale feel intimate and heartfelt. In English, and Italian and Bosnina, with subtitles. Starts Fri., Dec. 6.

AMC Loews (AH)

who, late in life, takes off for an adventure after saving a woman from suicide. 7:30 pm. Wed., Dec. 4. Hollywood

REPERTORY

WHITE CHRISTMAS. Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye are a pair of entertainers who travel to Vermont with two singing sisters (Rosemary Clooney and Vera-Ellen) for the holidays. Once there, the men discover the

NIGHT TRAIN TO LISBON. Jeremy Irons stars in this new thriller from Bille August about a professor

MADOKA MAGICA, PARTS 1 AND 2. Akiyuki Shinbo directs these two anime fantasy films from 2012 (compiled from the Japanese TV series) about a magical girl. See them before Part 3 to get caught up.

7 p.m. Thu., Dec. 5. Hollywood

THE POLAR EXPRESS. With its near-photorealism, and the imaginations of director Robert Zemeckis and crew taking off from Chris Van Allsburg’s gorgeous kiddie book, this animated film is a visual treat, from a child’s iris reflecting light like polished stone to the sight of timber wolves galloping through snowy nighttime woods. The spare story follows a boy skeptical of Santa Claus who’s among a dozen wellgroomed children spirited away on Christmas Eve by a magical steam locomotive; guided by a crusty conductor (voice of Tom Hanks), they’re off to the North Pole to learn valuable lessons. But attaining feature length demands major narrative padding, and the film belies its own parables about faith: Believing is made to seem so much more pleasant than doubting that you’d be a fool to do otherwise.

11 a.m. Sat., Dec. 7 (free), and 1 p.m. Sun., Dec. 8 CONTINUES ON PG. 36

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($3), at Hollywood. Also screening daily, in IMAX, at Carnegie Science Center. (Bill O’Driscoll) CHRISTMAS SHORTS. A two-hour program of classic holiday short films includes: “Christmas Comes But Once a Year,” “Somewhere in Dreamland,” “Jack Frost,” “Santa’s Surprise,” “Hector’s Hectic Life,” “Snow Foolin’” and everybody’s favorite clovenhoofed flyer, “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.”

2 p.m. Sun., Dec. 8. Oaks SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS. After watching a bunch of Earth TV shows, kids on Mars start clamoring for Santa. So a couple of Martians head to Earth to kidnap him. Don’t worry, it all works out in this 1964 so-bad-it’s-good film, directed by Nicholas Webster. 4:30 p.m. Sun., Dec. 8. Hollywood. $5 ($10 for Martians, Krampus and Silent Night) KRAMPUS: THE CHRISTMAS DEVIL. Jason Hull directs this new holiday horror flick about Krampus, St. Nick’s evil brother, who has a penchant for kidnapping naughty children. 6:30 p.m. Sun., Dec. 8. Hollywood. $5 ($10 for Martians, Krampus and Silent Night) SILENT NIGHT DEADLY NIGHT 2. A revenge mission against the nun who tormented his brother (as told in Silent Night 1) fuels this 1987 holiday horror from Lee Harry. 8:15 p.m. Sun., Dec. 8. Hollywood. $5 ($10 for Martians, Krampus and Silent Night)

HAPPS

DOWNLOAD THE FREE EVENTS APP FOR A CHANCE TO WIN TICKETS TO:

Pittsburgh vs.

Cleveland December 29, 2013

DOWNLOAD NOW OR TEXT “EVENTS” TO 77948

FILM KITCHEN. The series for local and independent film and video presents three short documentaries from three different artists. Gregory Scott Williams Jr.’s “Profile of Bill Nunn Theater Outreach Program” follows the Pittsburgh-native actor (from Do the Right Thing and Sam Raimi’s “Spider-Man” movies) as he coaches young local actors in the national August Wilson Monologue Competition. Sarah Kaili Chamizo’s “Harold and Traci” profiles Harold Keller, better known as “Traci the Trailer Trash Girl,” from his long-running public-access cable-TV show.

And Chris Nicholson’s “Haunted States of America: Carnegie Free Library” explores the supernatural history of the Connellsville landmark (which was built on the site of a former cemetery). The film incorporates work by the Pittsburgh Paranormal Society, members of which will attend the screening to answer questions. 8 p.m. Tue., Dec. 10. Melwood. $5.

412-681-9500 SCROOGE. Every year seems to bring another bastardized version of Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, so why not clear your palate with one of the earliest film adaptations? Henry Edwards’ 1935

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.04/12.11.2013

WHAT’S IN A NAME? A group of friends in Paris find their dinner discussions getting heated — and revealing — after one fellow says he might name his newborn son “Adolf.” Alexandre de La Patellière and Matthieu Delaporte direct this new comedy, adapted from Delaporte’s play. 7:30 p.m. Wed., Dec. 11. Hollywood JINGLE ALL THE WAY. Christmas is for buying things! Brian Levant directs this 1996 holiday comedy about two dads (Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sinbad) who are trying to purchase that year’s must-have toy, Turbo-Man. 7:30 p.m. Thu., Dec. 12.

AMC Loews. $5 NATIONAL LAMPOON’S CHRISTMAS VACATION. For my money, the funniest entry in the “Vacation” franchise, because it taps a universal truth: Other people’s behavior ruins your holidays, while your behavior contributes to other people’s misery. It’s all about giving and getting! Everyman Clark Griswold (Chevy Chase) tries to lay on the perfect Christmas, but is undercut by his low-rent cousin (Randy Quaid), uptight neighbors, demanding elderly relatives, his boss, a squirrel and a tangle of Christmas lights. Jeremiah S. Chechik directs this 1989 neo-classic holiday comedy, penned by John Hughes.

7:30 p.m. Thu., Dec. 12; 7 p.m. Fri., Dec. 13; and 3 p.m. Sun., Dec. 14. 9 p.m. Sun., Dec. 14 show is quotealong. Hollywood (AH)

CP

ANDY WARHOL FILMS. Selections from Warhol’s Factory Diaries series (1971-75) and other shorts screen. Ongoing. Free with museum admission. Andy Warhol Museum, North Side. www.warhol.org

December 6-12, 2013

Kill Your Darlings Regent Square Theater 1035 S.Braddock Ave. Fri 8:30 | Sat 3:00 | Sun 8:30 Mon-Thur 8:30

Blood Brother Regent Square Theater 1035 S.Braddock Ave. Fri 6:30 | Sun 3:00, 5:30 Mon-Thur 6:30

Night Train to Lisbon

(2013) - 12/4 @ 7:30pm (Thriller starring Jeremy Irons)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Madoka Magica Pt.3 (2013) - 12/6 @ 7pm &

10pm - 12/7 @ 7pm & 10pm

------------------------------------------------------------------------------The Polar Express (2013) - 12/7 @ 11am - 12/8 @1pm -------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A Perfect Man

Santa Claus Conquers the Martains

Harris Theater, 809 Liberty Ave, Downtown

(1964) - 12/8 @ 4:30pm

Fri 8:00 | Sat 6:00, 8:00 | Sun 3:00 Mon-Wed 7:30 | Thur 5:30, 7:30

Krampus: The Christmas Devil (2013)

Film Kitchen

Tuesday December 12 Reception at 7:00 | Films at 8:00

36

British film is a faithful recounting of the novella, and features Seymour Hicks as a particularly nasty Ebenezer Scrooge. 7 p.m. Wed., Dec. 11, and 7 p.m.

Thu., Dec. 12. Oaks

PITTSBURGH FILMMAKERS

Melwood Screening Room, 477 Melwood Ave.

Brought to you by:

It’s A Wonderful Life

Showtimes: 412-682-4111 | theaters.pittsburgharts.org

------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 12/8 @ 6:30pm

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Silent Night, Deadly Night 2 (1987) - 12/8 @ 8:15pm

1449 Potomac Avenue, Dormont 412.563.0368 www.thehollywooddormont.org

[ART REVIEW]

“HE WOULD ALWAYS SAY TO US, ‘WE GO FURTHER AND DO WHATSOEVER.’”

PAPER TRAIL {BY PHILIP ANSELMO}

INFO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

ON PAPER continues through Dec. 14. fieldwork contemporary art gallery, 4925 Penn Ave., Garfield. onpaper@inbox.com N E W S

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[DANCE]

CURTAIN

Art by Krista Franklin

The inaugural exhibit at Garfield’s fieldwork: contemporary art gallery showcases a diverse selection of works all exploring the same medium: paper. Curated by artist and Carnegie Mellon University art professor Ayanah Moor, On Paper features recent works by artists from Pittsburgh, Atlanta, Chicago, Knoxville and New York City.

The exhibition eschews the trappings of haute gallery pretense. Like paper itself, the frameless artworks nailed to the gallery walls suggest impermanence, hung with the blithe reverence of fanboy posters on a bedroom wall. Yet the space feels charged with significance, and it’s easy to detect resonances among the pieces.

A selection of collage work from current Homewood Artist-in-Residence and Pittsburgh native Alisha B. Wormsley shows off the narrative scope of her visual shorthand.

For example, a Rockwellian scene of pastel innocence gets juxtaposed with a grainy photograph of a lynching, underscoring the barbarous dialectic of American fantasy.

Krista Franklin’s cyanotype prints on handmade paper render chicken bones, feathers and afro picks in spectral white on backgrounds of Prussian blue. The haunting images are properly negative: white inversions of stereotypical black iconography. The gestural drawings of William Downs employ ink, charcoal and graphite on found folders arranged in a sort of televisual grid like so many different channels tuned to unseen moments of a personal history. The hyperrealistic lithographs of black hair by Althea Murphy-Price feign the textures of real life even as they delight in the abstract play of line and pigment.

Paul Stephen Benjamin’s “ABCKL” deconstructs the word “black” through the tracing, erasing and effacing of the letters in ink, schoolroom-alphabet-style, on 10 sheets of brown craft paper. On a nearby desk, Jordan Martin has arranged a series of identical white binders, each containing the same set of “instructions” asking the viewer/performer to “create the following actions.” A narrative unfolds like a dream over several pages, where the “you” doing the imaginative work and “the other you” of the imaginings promptly begin to blur.

Despite their differences, all of the artists featured in On Paper are allied in the critical project of appropriating histories, whether personal, national or racial. In one way or another, the works on display cause to appear what has been effaced — through negation as well as juxtaposition — but some also create new contours for forms not yet liberated.

CALL

{PHOTOS BY HEATHER MULL}

{BY STEVE SUCATO}

Nicolas Petrov (gesturing) instructs Point Park dance students.

W

HEN NICOLAS Petrov assumed

the directorship of the Pittsburgh Playhouse’s ballet school, in 1967, no one could have foreseen that within a few years, the Yugoslavian-born dancer and choreographer would forever alter the Pittsburgh dance landscape by founding two of its major institutions: Pittsburgh Ballet Theatre and Point Park University’s renowned dance department.

Now, on the eve of Professor Petrov’s retirement from Point Park after more than four decades, the dance department and its Conservatory Dance Company will honor him by restaging one of his best-known ballets, Romeo and Juliet, Dec. 10-15, at Pittsburgh Playhouse.

Born in 1933, in Novi Sad, Yugoslavia — now Serbia, then a Soviet-bloc country — Petrov was essentially conscripted into a life in dance.

“I was 12 and I didn’t know anything about dance or ballet,” says Petrov, an energetic, charming man who at age 80 retains a thick Slavic accent. “The government sent out teachers across the country

to organize ballet schools. They came to my [grade] school’s gymnastics class and auditioned us. I got picked.”

Petrov studied dance at the Novi Sad Theatre Academy, Belgrade State Ballet Academy, and with noted ballet teacher Olga Preobrajenska. His performance career included stints with Opera Ballet

CONSERVATORY DANCE COMPANY PRESENTS

NICOLAS PETROV’S ROMEO AND JULIET Tue., Dec. 10-Sun., Dec. 15. Pittsburgh Playhouse, 222 Craft Ave., Oakland. $18-20. 412-392-8000 or www.pittsburghplayhouse.com.

of Belgrade, Janine Charrat’s Ballets de France, Theatre D’Art du Ballet and former Ballets Russes star Léonide Massine’s Ballet Europeo di Nervi. He also danced, choreographed and produced for French television, and formed his own short-lived Paris-based company, Petrov Ballet.

In 1968, the formerly independent Pitts-

burgh Playhouse became part of Point Park College, and the ballet school Petrov had so briefly headed went dark. At the behest of college president Arthur Blum, Petrov took a job as associate professor and set about creating the college’s dance program.

Modeled after ballet schools in Europe, the program was designed to train students to become professional dancers.

That year, Petrov also mounted at the college a successful production of The Nutcracker that starred New York City Ballet’s Violette Verdy, and would serve as a catalyst in the founding of Pittsburgh Ballet Theatre. In 1969, with help from Blum and local philanthropist Loti Falk, PBT was chartered at the college.

Costumier Janet Campbell, who has been with PBT for 40 years, recalls Petrov as the company’s artistic director being “a hard worker,” and as its chief choreographer “knowing how to tell a story.” She adds, “He would always say to us, ‘We go further and do whatsoever.’”

Petrov brought to PBT a host of leading dancers and choreographers to dance CONTINUES ON PG. 38

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CURTAIN CALL, CONTINUED FROM PG. 37

DEC 5-14

TICKETS & INFO: WWW.BRICOLAGEPGH.ORG

It’s nothing short of miraculous.

The Alchemists’ Lab SIDE EFFECTS MAY INCLUDE: GIDDINESS, CONFUSION, CHECKING OF YOUR TICKET TO MAKE SURE YOU’RE IN THE RIGHT PLACE, FLYAWAY HAIR, BOGYPHOBIA, AMAZEMENT, AMUSEMENT, BEWILDERMENT, AND AN UNNATURAL INTEREST IN BAKLAVA.

December 10-15 DEVISED & WRITTEN BY GAB CODY IN COLLABORATION WITH THE STUDENTS OF POINT PARK UNIVERSITY’S CONSERVATORY THEATRE COMPANY.

PITTSBURGHPLAYHOUSE.COM OR 412.392.8000

RONALD ALLAN-LINDBLOM, ARTISTIC DIRECTOR EARL HUGHES, PRODUCING DIRECTOR

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pittsburghCLO.org Groups 412-325-1582

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.04/12.11.2013

as guest performers or to set work on the fledgling company. These names included Natalia Makarova, Edward Villella, Antony Tudor, John Butler, Petrov’s mentor Massine, and former Ballet Russe de Monte Carlo star Frederic Franklin, a friend of Petrov’s who co-directed PBT from 1974 to 1976. Without Petrov’s connections, PBT might not have survived, or at least thrived as it did.

“His vision recognized that a city of this size deserved a worldclass ballet company, and he worked tirelessly to bring exceptional talents here to Pittsburgh,” says PBT’s Dancers rehearse Romeo and Juliet. current artistic director, Terrence Orr. Petrov, who had been working at both PBT and Point Park, left PBT in 1977 in part over differences with Falk over the direction of the company.

Petrov says the company “was living on old repertory,” and he was interested in developing contemporary works. That led him to found, that year, The American Dance Ensemble of Point Park, a predecessor to the current Conservatory Dance Company.

Petrov’s impact on Point Park’s dance program has been far-reaching. He’s brought in many noted dance teachers and paved the way for the department’s growth in scope and enrollment, as well as in the addition of state-of-the-art studio facilities. The program ranks among the nation’s largest university dance programs, and surely in the top dozen or so for quality.

In his career, Petrov has choreographed more than 100 dance works, but it is Romeo and Juliet that has become his signature piece. Originally choreographed for PBT in 1971 for the reopening of a refurbished Heinz Hall, the ballet has been credited by New York dance writer Clive Barnes as the first Romeo and Juliet ballet in the U.S. to use the Prokofiev score.

The two-hour ballet in three acts, with a cast of 50 dancers, was last performed by Point Park in 1982; it has since been slightly revamped, with new scenes. Current dancedepartment chair Susan Stowe calls it “a grand, elegant and exciting production that is pretty true to Shakespeare’s story.”

An author, sometime film and television actor (Sesame Street, Purple Noon, Lorenzo’s Oil), dancer, teacher, choreographer and director, Petrov is a man of many talents. But perhaps his greatest legacy will be as the father of professional ballet in Pittsburgh.

INF O @PGH C IT YPAPE R . C O M

[PLAY REVIEW]

YULE LAUGH {BY TED HOOVER}

Art DeConciliis and Leah Hillgrove in Mrs. Bob Cratchit’s Wild Christmas Binge, at Little Lake {PHOTO COURTESY OF JAMES ORR}

EPISODE 3

The best way to describe Christopher Durang’s Mrs. Bob Cratchit’s Wild Christmas Binge, now at Little Lake Theatre, is to call it a curmudgeonly Christmas confetti cannon.

In this loopy retelling of A Christmas Carol, Durang combines shredded parts of Dickens with swipes at It’s a Wonderful Life, Touched by an Angel, soupy seasonal sentimentality, hammy child actors and the scourge of alcoholism. He stuffs it all down the cannon’s muzzle, lights the fuse and stands back. Mrs. Bob is an explosion of comedy bits landing all over the stage, actors and audience.

The ghosts from Christmas Carol are rolled into one character, intent on getting Scrooge to the redemptive ending. But this Ghost seems to have skipped a few classes at Specter School, and keeps transporting Scrooge to the wrong place and/or time.

They’re joined by Gladys Cratchit (Bob’s wife), who hates her family, is usually drunk and always looking to kill herself. And Durang continually adds more and more on top.

While most of this is very, very funny, I did find myself wishing that Durang would quit expanding his landscape and zero in on one element.

With such a no-holds-barred script, the company’s task is to just hold on.

Durang has made director Jena Oberg’s job especially difficult. She does a terrific job following Durang down every rabbit hole … but that’s both a good and a bad thing.

Individual beats and scenes are given fullthroated life — there are moments when you have to sit in your seat while peeing with laughter — but we lose the spine of the story, and that undermines the comedy.

Deborah Bender, as the Ghost/ Narrator, has a mammoth job working to add structure to this unwieldy script, and for the most part she succeeds. Art DeConciliis is pitch-perfect playing this time-shifting Scrooge. The role of Gladys is a thankless one: By design, she’s incredibly unpleasant — an interesting idea for a lead character — but Leah Hillgrove uses her considerable talents to make her journey our journey.

There’s a host of supporting actors, all contributing their own zaniness, but I want to mention Andy Coleman’s shameless scene-stealing and Luke Graci, who as the pathetically sappy Tiny Tim made me want to beat him with his crutch … and I mean that as a compliment.

INFO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

MRS. BOB CRATCHIT’S WILD CHRISTMAS BINGE continues through Dec. 14. Lake Theatre, 500 Lakeside Drive South (off Route 19), Canonsburg. $12-20.

724-745-6300 or www.littlelaketheatre.org

“…strikingly thoughtful...”

—The New Yorker

Oct. 5, 2013–Mar. 16, 2014

Sponsored by

HAVE QUESTIONS ABOUT THE ART? TOURS DAILY.

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Major support for the 2013 Carnegie International has been provided by the A. W. Mellon Charitable and Educational Fund, The Fine Foundation, the Jill and Peter Kraus Endowment for Contemporary Art, and The Henry L. Hillman Fund. Additional major support has been provided by The Friends of the 2013 Carnegie International. Major gifts and grants have also been provided by The Andy Warhol Foundation for the Visual Arts, Jill and Peter Kraus, Maja Oeri and Hans Bodenmann, Ritchie Battle, The Fellows of Carnegie Museum of Art, Marcia M. Gumberg, the National Endowment for the Arts, and The Pittsburgh Foundation.

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[BOOK]

READING SAUNDERS {BY BILL O’DRISCOLL} GEORGE SAUNDERS is definitely the same

by

Paul Giovanni

based on characters created by

writer who visited Pittsburgh in 2007, trailing widespread critical acclaim, a Guggenheim Fellowship and a MacArthur “genius grant.”

The stories in his latest collection, The Tenth of December, teem with the same sort of struggling, morally compromised characters, inhabiting the same cruelly tweaked satirical world of rampant consumerism and corporatized language, as did 2006’s In Persuasion Nation. And the stories, which often employ science fiction or fantasy, are still deeply compassionate, still funny as hell.

But in 2013, Saunders’ profile has soared. That’s what happens when, in January, the New York Times Magazine runs a feature article headlined “George Saunders Has Written the Best Book You’ll Read This Year.”

It didn’t hurt that in September, the book was named a finalist for the National Book Award for fiction — alongside works

by Thomas Pynchon and Jhumpa Lahiri.

Or that The Wall Street Journal recently said, “George Saunders helped change the trajectory of American fiction.” Or that he’s been on The Colbert Report, and has fans including Pynchon, Dave Eggers and Zadie Smith.

Sir Arthur Conan-Doyle GEORGE SAUNDERS All performances in The Charity Randall Theatre, Oakland

picttheatre.org 412.561.6000

Family 4-Pack only $100!

Dec. 4-21

speaks at Monday Night Lectures 7:30 p.m. Mon., Dec. 9. Carnegie Music Hall, 4400 Forbes Ave., Oakland. $10-25.

412-622-8866 or www.pittsburghlectures.org

Saunders, reached recently by phone in his “writing shack” in rural Oneida, N.Y., addresses all the attention with his usual wry self-effacement.

“I thought I was getting out there pretty good before,” he says, “but it turns out I was a loser all these years.”

He adds that being named one of Time’s 100 Most Influential People in the World “was probably a clerical error.”

But why the sudden fame? Saunders has yet to write a novel or a memoir, the usual paths to literary stardom. And the touchstone story in Tenth of December would fit comfortably in any of his previous three collections (also including Pastoralia and CivilWarLand in Bad Decline). “The Semplica-Girl Diaries” is narrated by a financially pressed subur-

{PHOTO COURTESY OF CAITLIN SAUNDERS}

George Saunders

ban dad whose desire for social status for his daughters leads him to purchase the latest must-have: a brace of young girls from impoverished countries, decoratively strung in the backyard with a special line through their heads.

It’s dark, not terribly commercial stuff — even if Saunders’s skill is such that you somehow sympathize with the comically inarticulate narrator who’s doing this horrible thing. But Saunders says he’s selling “orders of magnitude more books this time.”

Asked whether he’s writing any differently than before, Saunders, 55, says it’s possible.

“I’ve reached my 180th birthday. I’m feeling more inclined to reach out to a reader more directly than maybe I was in the past,” says Saunders, who teaches at Syracuse University. “When you’re a young writer, sometimes your main fear is that you might be considered sentimental or not edgy enough. And as I’m getting older, that’s kind of falling away and my fear is that I just wouldn’t be sufficiently communicative, that I’ll die before I get a chance to express the way I feel about things really straightforwardly.”

Such an approach recalls the new collection’s title story, which sets a collision course between a socially outcast boy and a suicidal man, and conjures wrenching emotions.

But if The Tenth of December is less dark than Saunders’ earlier work, it’s only by a little — as he was recently reminded when asked to read at a smalltown book club near his home. He recalls frantically thumbing through the volume and thinking, “What can I read that isn’t perverse? There isn’t anything!”

I N F O@ P G H C I T Y PA P E R. C OM

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.04/12.11.2013

Romeo&Juliet NICOLAS PETROVâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S

M U S I C B Y SER G EI PR OK O F I E V

ROCKWELL THEATRE, PITTSBURGH PLAYHOUSE

December 10 - 15, 2013

Ronald Allan-Lindblom artistic director Earl Hughes producing director

www.pittsburghplayhouse.com

(412) 392-8000

bring your holiday sweater bring your cheer bring your family There's always a lot to see duringthe holidays at Carnegie Museums of Art and Natural History!

Be inspired by the Holiday Trees, tour the 2013 Carnegie International, talk with a totem pole carver, and view the life-like figurines of the Neapolitan presepio. And stop in our museum stores for unique and creative gifts!

Just coming to shop? Parking in our lot is free for the first 30 minutes.

Holidays at the museums is sponsored by

we x monday in 2014

the museums will be open mondays (closed tuesdays) in 2014. two of the four carnegie museums of pittsburgh

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FOR THE WEEK OF

12.0512.12.13

FOR INFORMATION ON HOW TO SUBMIT LISTINGS AND PRESS RELEASES, CALL 412.316.3342 X161.

THE

NUTCRACKER

+ THU., DEC. 05 {STAGE} The Theatre Festival in Black and White turns 10, and you know how 10-year-olds love the holidays. Each year, Pittsburgh Playwrights Theatre Co.â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s singular initiative pairs white playwrights with black directors, and black playwrights with white directors, for two programs of original one-acts. This year, all 10 plays are holiday-themed. The playwrights include such familiar names as Tammy Ryan, Wali Jamal and Kim El. If past fests are any guide, expect comedy, drama and tones as diverse as the creators. It starts tonight with Program A. BO 7 p.m. Continues with rotating programs through Dec. 17.

937 Liberty Ave., Downtown. $20-25. www.pittsburgh playwrights.com

assistant at the Whitney Museum of American Art who also co-curated a little show called the 2013 Carnegie International. The opening reception is tonight. BO 7-9 p.m. Exhibit continues through Jan. 31. 518 Foreland St., North Side. Free. www. artistsimageresource.org

Williams; DJ team Tracksploitation; MC duo Creative Chemistry with Yah Lioness; visual art; and more. The show, presented by the KellyStrayhorn Theater and Groove Aesthetic, is followed by a dance party. BO 8 p.m. 5530 Penn Ave., Friendship. $10. www.kelly-strayhorn.org

{MUSIC}

+ SAT., DEC. 07

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a mash-up â&#x20AC;Ś between Bach & Biggie, ballerinas & b-boys,â&#x20AC;? says the promo copy for Bach Boom Box, tonight at Alloy Studios. Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s that

{BOOKS} Running With Scissors author Augusten Burroughs is the

+ FRI., DEC. 06 {ART} As kids, many of us loved playing with Wham-Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;Super Ball.â&#x20AC;? Reconnect with the colorful orb at SUPERâ&#x20AC;˘BALL, an exhibition by the International Sphaeralogical Society at The Mine Factory. The show, an expanded version of one that premiered in New York City two years ago, features: videos, photography, specimen boxes, historical information, merchandise and a ballistics testing space where visitors can study and play with a variety of old and new Super Balls. Be careful they donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t bounce away! Brett Wilson 6 p.m. Through Dec. 28.

201 N. Braddock Ave., Point Breeze. Free. 412-370-6916 or www.sphaerology.org

DEC. 07 Handmade d d Arcadeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s A Decade of DIY Clothing by Upcycled Designs {PHOTO COURTESY OF JOEY KENNEDY}

{ART}

DEC. 6-29, 2013 BENEDUM CENTER

TICKETS: 412.456.6666 ONLINE: PBT.ORG

'2/503 /& 3!6% 50 4/ s #!,, /2 %-!), '2/503!,%3 0)443"52'("!,,%4 /2'

ARTIST:ALEXANDRESILVA;PHOTO:LOISGREENFIELD

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.04/12.11.2013

Artists Image Resource hosts its Second Annual National Juried Exhibition. The artistrun, nonprofit printmaking studio and gallery on the North Side showcases work by some two dozen printmakers from around the U.S. The notable curator is Tina Kukielski, the former senior curatorial

sound like? Probably good, if Anqwenique Wingfield is involved. This â&#x20AC;&#x153;multidisciplinary marriage of hip hop and operaâ&#x20AC;? (hip hopera?) features the talented Wingfield on vocals ranging from classical to rhymes, with help from: MC Shad Ali; jazz band Trio +; choreographer Anthony

special guest at Heinz History Centerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 12th annual Books in the â&#x20AC;&#x2122;Burgh fair. Burroughs, a Pittsburgh native, speaks at noon and signs books. But heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just one of 60 local authors on the premises, including notables like Cyril Wecht, Dan Rooney and Eleanor Schano, and literary names like Paola

Free!Event Though best known as a performer, Bill Shannon is also skilled in visual art and movement/installation hybrids. Shannon grew up largely in Pittsburgh before moving to Chicago and New York City and earning world-wide fame for his dancing on crutches (a skill that grew from his experience with a degenerative hip disease). His international résumé includes a choreography credit with Cirque du Soleil.

Shannon (pictured) returned to Pittsburgh in 2005, but still hasn’t staged a formal exhibit or performance here. That changes Friday, when Shannon’s solo exhibit Make Moves opens with a reception at the Irma Freeman Center for Imagination as part of gallery crawl Unblurred. The show features assemblage work — “literally heavy, dirty and urban in its aesthetic” — plus drawings, video and artifacts from some of his many performances. Unblurred also includes attractions at some 20 additional venues, with new shows at ModernFormations Gallery, Garfield Artworks and Artisan Gallery; Assemble’s third annual Hyperlocal Show (featuring artists from the immediate neighborhood); and Pittsburgh Glass Center’s holiday glass sale. Also holiday-themed: shows at both Studio 5013 and the Stuff N Such Society celebrating Krampus, European folk culture’s demonic original Bad Santa. And international dance party Pandemic marks eight years with late-night tunes at Brillobox and an exhibit of local artists’ Russian nesting dolls at Most Wanted Fine Art. Bill O’Driscoll Most venues 7-10 p.m. Fri., Dec. 6. 4100-5400 Penn Ave., Bloomfield/Garfield/Friendship. Free (Pandemic: $7-10). www.pennavenue.org

Corso, Sharon Flake and Yona Harvey. The History Center also launches its own The Civil War in Pennsylvania: The African American Experience, a new collection of essays by nationally recognized experts. BO 10 a.m.-3 p.m. 1212 Smallman St., Strip District. Free (museum admission applies for regular exhibits). 412-454-6000 or www.heinzhistorycenter.org

{CRAFTS} For those seeking the fulsome consumerism of the mall experience but with imaginative hand-crafted goods and an in-person audience with the hands that crafted them, here’s Handmade Arcade’s Decade of DIY. The region’s first and largest craft fair has grown dramatically, from 32 vendors and 1,000 shoppers in 2004 to last year’s 150 vendors and more than 9,000 attendees.

The collective’s big holiday event returns to the David L. Lawrence Convention Center, where you can buy local from vendors from 15 states (mostly) in our region, selling purses made from recycled books; jewelry made from found objects; hand-bound journals; art posters; organic bath-andbody products; and much more, at all price points. BO 11 a.m.7 p.m. 1000 Fort Duquesne Blvd., Downtown. Free. www.handmadearcade.com

{ART} Buying local for the holidays is the thing to do, and one marketplace to check out is the third annual Highland Park Pottery Tour, with its five venues all in one neighborhood. Four are homes of local potters, who will be displaying their work and that of others, and will be on hand to discuss their craft.

The fifth stop is the Union

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Project, which will feature work from members of its community ceramic studio. BW Noon.

Also 11 a.m. Sun., Dec. 8.

5505 Avondale Place; 5511 Avondale Place; 716 N. Sheridan Ave., #2; 5800 Wellesley Ave.; and 801 N. Negley Ave, Highland Park. Free. 412-3634550 or www.unionproject.org

from a sackbut, there’s something about Renaissance-era music that keenly evokes the holidays. So welcome Piffaro, The Renaissance Band. The seven-member Philadelphia-

Drive the Cold Winter Away, includes hymns and chorale setting for Advent by German composer Michael Praetorius (b. 1571); Sephardic tunes for Hanukkah; English ballads; dances; and more. With guest soprano Laura Heimes, it’s all played on recreated period instruments including the guitar-like lute and the sackbut, a trombone ancestor.

BO 8 p.m. 125 N. Craig St., Oakland. $10-35. 412-361-2048 or www.rbsp.org

based troupe performs everything from the rustic music of peasants to works by early professional wind bands.

Tonight’s Renaissance & Baroque concert at Synod Hall,

{ART} Erin Ko makes paintings with something extra she calls “Augmented Reality.” The works contain sensors so that, when viewed through a smartphone or tablet, they animate. The triptych “Disconnected,” for instance, depicts an astronaut floating in space who actually starts floating; the effect is trippy and meditative.

Ko, based in Mexico, has exhibition credits in London, New York and Beijing. Today’s the opening of her Gallery 4 solo show PRESENT, with a reception. BO 7-11 p.m. Exhibit continues through Dec. 28.

206 S. Highland Ave., Shadyside. Free. 412-363-5050 or www.thegallery4.us

DEC. 06 Bach Boom Box

+ SUN., DEC. 08 {SCREEN} Artist Alisha B. Wormsley created Afronaut(a) Film Club to showcase work that inspires her. The seven-part series concludes tonight with German filmmaker Lotte Reiniger’s The Adventures of Prince Ahmed. The 1926 film — considered the oldest surviving animated feature — uses stop-action shadow puppets to tell fantastical tales of a magical prince battling a wicked sorcerer. The free screening, at the Alloy Studios, features a live score supplied

{MUSIC} Even if you can’t tell a lute

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by singer-songwriter Ricardo Iamuuri. BO 2 p.m. 5530 Penn Ave., Friendship.

Free. 412-363-3000 or www.kelly-strayhorn.org

+ TUE., DEC. 10 {STAGE} You might know local playwright and filmmaker Gab Cody from Fat Beckett, her clever 2011 play at Quantum Theatre; from Bricolage’s groundbreaking immersive theater work STRATA, on which she was lead writer; or from her short film comedy “Mombies.” It’s résumé enough to recommend The Alchemists’ Lab, the new comedy Cody wrote and devised with some Point Park University theater students. The play deploys wild characters, improv and standup to loosely update The Alchemist, Ben Jonson’s 1610 satire on human greed.

The show’s run of eight shows starts tonight at the Pittsburgh Playhouse. BO 8 p.m. Continues through Sun., Dec. 15. 222 Craft Ave., Oakland. $18-20.

412-392-8000 or www. pittsburghplayhouse.com

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{ALL LISTINGS MUST BE SUBMITTED BY 9 A.M. FRIDAY PRIOR TO PUBLICATION}

TO SUBMIT A LISTING: HTTP://HAPPENINGS.PGHCITYPAPER.COM 412.316.3388 (FAX) + 412.316.3342 X161 (PHONE)

FESTIVAL IN BLACK & WHITE: HOLIDAY EDITION. Ten one-acts; plays by black playwrights directed by white directors & vice versa. Thu, Fri, 7 p.m., Sat, 2 & 7 p.m., Sun, 2 & 7 p.m. and Dec. 16-17, 7 p.m. Thru Dec. 15. Pittsburgh Playwrights Theatre, Downtown.

412-377-7803.

2 PIANOS 4 HANDS. The riotous story of Ted & Richard, childhood friends who spent years chasing the same goal: concert pianist stardom. Tue, Wed, 7 p.m., Thu, Fri, 8 p.m., Sat, 2 & 5:30 p.m. and Sun, 2 p.m. Thru Dec. 22. City Theatre, South Side.

412-431-2489.

THE ALCHEMISTS’ LAB. Contemporary satire loosely based on Ben Johnson’s The Alchemist.

Presented by Point Park’s Conservatory Theatre Company.

Dec. 10-13, 8 p.m., Sat., Dec. 14, 2 & 8 p.m. and Sun., Dec. 15, 2 p.m. Pittsburgh Playhouse, Oakland. 412-392-8000.

Beer of the Month

Straub American Lager 16oz. bottles

$2 all day, every day, in December

Dee’s Cafe

E. Carson St., South Side 7 pool tables ($6/hr.) & ping pong

ANNIE. Fri, Sat, 7:30 p.m. and Sun., Dec. 15, 2:30 p.m. Thru Dec. 21. Comtra Theatre, Cranberry. 724-591-8727.

CHARLES IVES TAKE ME HOME. A father’s love of music & a daughter’s passion for basketball are at odds in this play about competition, commitment, & craft. Sat, 5:30 & 9 p.m., Sun, 2 & 7 p.m., Tue, 7 p.m. and Wed, 1 & 7 p.m.

Thru Dec. 11. City Theatre, South Side. 412-431-2489.

A CHRISTMAS CAROL: THE MUSICAL. God bless us, every one! Fri, Sat, 7:30 p.m. and Sun, 2 p.m. Thru Dec. 8.

New Castle Playhouse, New Castle. 724-654-3437.

GODSPELL. Musical telling of the Gospel. Fri, 8 p.m. and Sat., Dec. 7, 2 p.m. Thru Dec. 6.

Kean Theatre, Gibsonia.

724-444-5326.

MADELINE’S CHRISTMAS. Celebrate Christmas w/ Madeline, Miss Clavel, & the rest of the 12 little girls in 2 straight lines. Sat, Sun, 1:30 p.m.

{BY ERIC LIDJI}

, k n i r Eat, D y!

Enjo Great Music!

Drink !

Specials

Visit All Of Our Locations Monroeville Mall • 412.372.5500 5 Market Square • 412.434.5600 1505 E Carson St. • 412.904.4620

LIVE DJ

@Southside every Monday & Thursday

winghartburgers.com

Like us on www.facebook/wingharts

Thru Dec. 15. Little Lake Theatre, until Jackie spots another man’s hat in their apartment & Canonsburg. 724-745-6300. embarks on a quest for vengeance.

A MEDIEVAL CHRISTMAS Presented by barebones CAROL. A new take on the productions. Wed-Sat, 8 p.m. classic Dickens’ tale. Presented Thru Dec. 7. New Hazlett Theater,

by Stage & Steel Productions.

North Side. 1-888-718-4253.

Fri, Sat. Thru Dec. 14.

MRS. BOB CRATCHIT’S SS Peter & Paul Ukrainian WILD CHRISTMAS BINGE. Orthodox Church Hall, Carnegie.

Christopher Durang’s parody 412-276-9718. of A Christmas Carol. ThuMIDNIGHT RADIO: Sat, 8 p.m. Thru Dec. 14.

ANIMATED HOLIDAZE. Little Lake Theatre, A dubbed–over spin on Canonsburg. classic animated holiday 724-745-6300. favorites. Thu., Dec. 5, A MUSICAL 9 p.m. and Fri, Sat, CHRISTMAS 9 p.m. Thru Dec. 14. www. per CAROL. Presented Bricolage, Downtown. pa pghcitym

by Pittsburgh CLO. .co 412-471-0999.

Fri, 7:30 p.m., Sat, 12, MIRACLE ON 34TH 4 & 8 p.m. and Sun, STREET, THE MUSICAL. 2 & 6 p.m. Thru Dec. 22.

Presented by the Cal U Dept. of Byham Theater, Downtown.

Theatre & Dance. Dec. 5-6, 8 p.m., 412-456-6666.

Sat., Dec. 7, 2 & 8 p.m. and Sun., OVER THERE..THE G.I. Dec. 8, 2 p.m. California University, CHRISTMAS TOUR. Feat. songs . 724-938-5943. from the World War II-era.

THE MOTHERFUCKER WITH Presented by Pohl Productions.

THE HAT. Things are starting to Sat, 6:30 p.m. and Sun, 3:30 p.m. look up for recovering alcoholic Thru Dec. 15. Crowne Plaza Hotel, Jackie & his girlfriend Veronica — Bethel Park. 724-746-1178.

PLAID TIDINGS. Forever Plaid Christmas special, presented by Pittsburgh CLO Cabaret. Wed, Thu, 7:30 p.m., Sat, 2 & 7:30 p.m. and Sun, 2 p.m. Thru Jan. 12. Cabaret at Theater Square, Downtown.

412-456-6666.

A TAFFETA CHRISTMAS. Fifties style holiday sequel to The Taffetas. Thu, Fri, 8 p.m., Sat, 2 & 8 p.m. and Sun, 2 p.m. Thru Dec. 15.

The Theatre Factory, 412-374-9200.

TRUE WEST. Play by Sam Shepard about two battling brothers at the edge of the desert. Presented by Pittsburgh Public Theater.

Wed-Sat, 8 p.m., Sat, 2 & 8 p.m. and Sun, 2 & 7 p.m. Thru Dec. 8. O’Reilly Theater, Downtown. 412-316-1600.

‘TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS. Ked Ludwig’s take on the classic tale.

Presented by Greensburg Civic Theatre. Toy donations will be accepted to benefit Toys for Tots.

Fri., Dec. 6, 7:30 p.m. and Sat., Dec. 7, 1 & 4 p.m. Greensburg Garden and Civic Center, Greensburg. 724-836-8000.

WHITE CHRISTMAS. Irving Berlin’s musical presented by the Lincoln Park Performing Arts Center Professional Company.

Fri, Sat, 7:30 p.m. and Sun., Dec. 8, 2 p.m. Thru Dec. 14.

Lincoln Park Performing Arts Center, 724-576-4644.

FULL LIST ONLINE

PUBLICNOTICES P U B L IC N OTI CE S@ P GH C IT YPAPE R . C O M

THEATER 10TH ANNUAL THEATRE

CONTINUES ON PG. 46

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.04/12.11.2013

Work by Bruce Senchesen, from Gadgets to Grandeur, at Gallerie Chiz

VISUAL

ART

NEW THIS WEEK ARTISTS IMAGE RESOURCE. Printwork 2013. National juried print exhibition feat. over 20 artists. Opening reception: Dec. 6, 7-9 p.m. North Side.

412-321-8664.

BOULEVARD GALLERY. Holiday Sale. Pottery, jewelry, woodwork, painted & stained glass, greeting cards, prints, metal works, more. Artists reception Dec. 7, 6-9 p.m.

Verona. 412-828-1031.

CHRISTINE FRECHARD GALLERY. Sandra Benhaim.

New work. Opening reception Dec. 6, 5-8 p.m. Squirrel Hill.

412-421-8888.

GALLERIE CHIZ. Gadgets to Grandeur. Group show feat. brand new & vintage Chiz artists. Opening reception: Dec. 6, 5:30-8:30 p.m. Shadyside.

412-441-6005.

THE GALLERY 4. PRESENT. New media interactive works

by Erin Ko. Opening reception: Dec. 14, 7-11 p.m. Shadyside.

412-363-5050.

IMAGEBOX. Michelangelo Noir: Drawings Based on the Pre-cleaned Frescoes. Work

by Richard Claraval. Opening reception: Dec. 6, 7-10 p.m.

Garfield. 412-441-0194.

INTERNATIONAL CHILDREN’S ART GALLERY. Eden Lost. Work by Richard Rappaport. Part of Unblurred, Dec. 6, 6:30-11 p.m. Garfield.

MICHAEL HERTRICH ART & FRAME. Revisited 2013. New paintings & pastels by Adelaide La Fond. Opening reception: Dec. 6, 6-9 p.m. South Side.

412-431-3337.

MODERNFORMATIONS GALLERY. Our Interconnected World: Art & Science at the

Environmental Charter School. Opening reception Dec. 6, 7 - 10 p.m. Garfield.

412-362-0274.

MOST-WANTED FINE ART GALLERY. Matryoshka.

Feat. local artists live-painting Russian nesting dolls. Opens Dec. 6, 5-9 p.m. Part of Pandemic’s 8th anniversary.

Garfield. 412-251-6059.

THE NEW BOHEMIAN. On Record. Work by Rashad Jamaal aka Billy Pilgrim. Dec. 6, 7-11 p.m. only.

North Side.

PITTSBURGH GLASS CENTER. SiO2: Highschool Reunion.

Feat. work by 12 former SiO2 high school students.

Receptions Dec. 6, 6-9 p.m., & Dec. 20, 6-9 p.m. Friendship.

412-365-2145.

ONGOING 28 WEST SECOND GALLERY & STUDIO SPACE. Steel Working: A Sculptural & Photographic Collection. Work

by Robert Drakulic. Greensburg.

724-205-9033.

707 PENN GALLERY. threaded colors // drawing lines. Work by Nicole Czapinski. Downtown.

412-325-7017.

AMERICAN JEWISH MUSEUM. Finnish & Jewish. Photographs

by Dina Kantor. Squirrel Hill.

412-521-8010.

ANDY WARHOL MUSEUM. Theater of the Self.

Photographic reprisals by Yasumasa Morimura. I Just Want to Watch: Warhol’s Film, Video and Television. Long-term exhibition of Warhol’s film & video work. Permanent collection. Artwork and artifacts by the famed Pop Artist.

North Side. 412-237-8300.

ART INSTITUTE OF PITTSBURGH. SKIN. Faculty/ student collaborative exhibition.

Downtown. 412-291-6200.

BACKSTAGE BAR AT THEATRE SQUARE. Symphony of Colours. Work by Nadya Lapets, June Kielty, Kim Freithaler & Vickie Schilling.

Downtown. 412-325-6769.

BAR MARCO. 3 Perspectives: An Attempt to Understand.

This exhibit aims to explain the events of the Holocaust through art, narrative & history. Feat. work by Judith Robinson & Kara Snyder & curated by the Holocaust Center of the Jewish Federation of Greater Pittsburgh. Strip District.

412-421-1500.

BARCO LAW LIBRARY. The Digital Imagers Group Show. www.digitalimagers.org.

Oakland.

BE GALLERIES. 35th Anniversary Exhibition.

Work by ceramic artist Yoko Sekino-Bove & jewelry artist Jim Bove. Lawrenceville.

412-687-2606.

BLUE OLIVE GALLERIES. Pittsburgh Panoramas/Metals.

Tarentum. 724-275-7001.

BOXHEART GALLERY. Blooming w/ Holiday Spirit.

Group exhibition & holiday sale. Bloomfield. 412-687-8858.

CARNEGIE MUSEUM OF ART. 2013 Carnegie International.

Exhibition of new international art in the United States. Curated

by Daniel Baumann, Dan Byers, & Tina Kukielski. Oakland.

412-622-3131.

CHATHAM UNIVERSITY. Culture in Context. African Art from the Olkes Collection.

Shadyside. 412-365-1232.

COHEN & GRIGSBY GALLERY. CONNECTIONS: The Work of Fabrizio Gerbino. Downtown.

ECLECTIC ART & OBJECTS GALLERY. 19th century American & European paintings combined with some of the world’s most talented contemporary artists & their artwork. The Hidden Collection.

Watercolors by Robert N. Blair (1912- 2003). Hiromi Traditional Japanese Oil Paintings The Lost Artists of the 1893 Chicago Exhibition. Collectors Showcase.

Emsworth. 412-734-2099.

FIELDWORK: CONTEMPORARY ART GALLERY. On Paper. Work

by Althea Murphy Price, Paul Stephen Benjamin, Krista Franklin, William Downs, Alisha B. Wormsley, & Jordan Martin. onpaper@inbox.com. Garfield.

FILMMAKERS GALLERIES. Gravitational Pull. Multimedia work by Megan Biddle. Oakland.

412-681-5449.

FIREBORN @ THE WORKS. Ceramics & glass pop-up gallery.

CONTINUES ON PG. 47

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THUR, DEC 5 • 9PM FOLK/ALT. COUNTRY

STRAY BIRDS WITH DANIEL MARCUS. (EARLY SHOW) 7:30PM

KARAOKE

AMERICAN AQUARIUM

THURSDAY

(LATE SHOW) 10:30PM

FRI, DEC 6 • 9PM

BAND NIGHT EVERY THURSDAY!

RANDY BAUMANN'S

THUNDERBIRD RAMBLE

STONE COLD KILLER, THE BESSEMERS

PLUS

THE OLD E ALLSTARS

SAT, DEC 7 • 9PM FOLK ROCK

THURS/DEC 12/10PM

CITY DWELLING NATURE SEEKERS PLUS MEGAN BURTT & THE CURE FOR LOVE

9:30PM to 1:30AM

MOTOMETER, PERISH, AND PARADOX PLEASE THURS/DEC 19/10PM

MON, DEC 9 • 9PM

WINTER WONDER-LESQUE BURLESQUE SHOW

OPEN STAGE WITH SGD TUE, DEC 10 • 9PM ACOUSTIC

SPACE EXCHANGE SERIES

25 $2.25

Yuengling ing Bottles

$2.75 PBR POUNDERS OR PBR DRAFTS

WITH JASPER LEWIS

& MEMBERS OF CITY DWELLING NATURE SEEKERS

9:30pm-1:30am :30aam

ALL DAY, EVERY DAY ‘till Midnight

OVER 21 ONL ONLY LY

$5.50 PBR POUNDER & FIREBALL SHOT

OPEN FOR LUNCH Kitchen hours: M-Th: 11am-12am Fri & Sat: 11am-1am Sun: 11am-11pm

Thursdays, all day ‘till Midnight

4023 BU TLER ST LAWREN CEVILLE 412.682.017 7

2204 E. CARSON ST. (412) 431-5282 lavaloungepgh.com

www.thunderbirdcafe.net

$

Come sing your head off at the “Best Party in Town”!

THURS/DEC 5/10PM

1314 EAST CARSON ST. SO UTHSI DE W W W. DEESCAFE. CO M POOL + PING PONG + DARTS

2

.50

coors light aluminum pints during all steelers games coors light always on tap

Beer Nutz • O’Hara • 1335 Freeport Road Pittsburgh, PA 15238 • 412 963-6889

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BIG LIST, CONTINUED FROM PG. 44

T H E OS C A R - W I NNI NG F I LM ÂŽ

N O W ON S TA G E

COMEDY THU 05 - SUN 08 CHRIS PORTER. 8 p.m., Fri., Dec. 6, 8 & 10:15 p.m., Sat., Dec. 7, 7 & 9:15 p.m. and Sun., Dec. 8, 7 p.m. The Improv, Waterfront. 412-462-5233.

FRI 06 ALMOST INFAMOUS IMPROV. 9 p.m. Steel City Improv Theater, Shadyside. 412-404-2695.

BEST OF THE BURGH COMEDY SHOWCASE. Fri, 8 p.m. Corner Cafe, South Side.

412-488-2995.

CHAMPAGNE HIERARCHY IMPROV. 10 p.m. Steel City Improv Theater, Shadyside.

412-404-2695.

DR. IMPOSTOâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S ODD HOUR. 11 p.m. Steel City Improv Theater, Shadyside.

412-404-2695.

GENE COLLIER & SEAN COLLIER. 8 & 10 p.m. Arcade Comedy Theater, Downtown.

412-339-0608.

HAROLD HOUR IMPROV. 8 p.m. Steel City Improv Theater, Shadyside. 412-404-2695.

JEFF DUNHAM. 8 p.m.

Consol Energy Center, Uptown.

1-800-745-3000.

SAT 07 BYOT: BRING YOUR OWN TEAM IMPROV JAM. 11 p.m.

Steel City Improv Theater, Shadyside. 412-404-2695.

THE DEATH SHOW: AN IMPROVISED FUNERAL. 9 p.m.

Steel City Improv Theater, Shadyside. 412-404-2695.

DON DC CURRY, COMMA DEE, MIKE JONES. Comedy on the Hill.

6 & 9:30 p.m. Elsie H. Hillman Auditorium, Hill District.

412-292-1753.

THE LUPONES: MADE UP MUSICALS. Sat, 8 p.m.

Thru Dec. 21 Steel City Improv Theater, Shadyside.

412-404-2695.

WELL KNOWN STRANGERS IMPROV. 10 p.m. Steel City Improv Theater, Shadyside.

412-404-2695.

MON 09

TICKETS ON SALE NOW!

%&$&.#&3 +"/6"3: t )&*/; )"-GREAT GIFT IDEA!

53645"354 03( t #09 0''*$& "5 5)&"5&3 426"3& t (30614 5*$,&54

PNC Broadway Across America-Pittsburgh is a presentation of The Pittsburgh Cultural Trust, Pittsburgh Symphony and Broadway Across America.

OSCARÂŽ is the registered trademark and service mark of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. Photo by Joan Marcus.

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.04/12.11.2013

SCIT SOCIAL IMPROV JAM. Mon, 9:30 p.m. Thru Dec. 16 Steel City Improv Theater, Shadyside.

412-404-2695.

TOTALLY FREE MONDAYS. Mon, 8 p.m. Thru Dec. 16 Steel City Improv Theater, Shadyside.

412-404-2695.

TUE 10 OPEN MIC STAND UP COMEDY NITE. Hosted by Derek Minto & John Pridmore.

Tue, 9:30 p.m. Smiling Moose, South Side. 412-612-4030.

WED 11 COMEDY OPEN MIC. Hosted by Ronald Renwick. Wed, 9:30 p.m.

Scarpaciâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Place, Mt. Washington.

412-431-9908.

STAND-UP COMEDY OPEN MIC. Wed, 8 p.m.

The BeerHive, Strip District.

412-904-4502.

KERR MEMORIAL MUSEUM. Tours of a restored 19th-century, middle-class home. Oakmont.

412-826-9295.

MALL AT ROBINSON. CSI Pittsburgh: Fictional Crime AUGUST WILSON CENTER Scene. Presented by Pittsburgh FOR AFRICAN AMERICAN Technical Institute. Robinson.

CULTURE. Pittsburgh: Reclaim, 412-788-0816.

Renew, Remix. Feat. imagery, MCGINLEY HOUSE & film & oral history narratives MCCULLY LOG HOUSE. to explore communities, cultures, Historic homes open for tours, & innovations. Downtown. lectures and more. Monroeville.

412-258-2700.

412-373-7794.

BAYERNHOF MUSEUM. MINE FACTORY. Super Ball: Large collection of automatic A Celebration of the Worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s roll-played musical instruments Most Amazing Ball. Presented and music boxes in a

by The International mansion setting. Call for Sphaeralogical Society. appointment. Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Hara.

Homewood.

412-782-4231.

412-370-6916.

CARNEGIE MUSEUM NATIONAL AVIARY. OF ART. Neapolitan Home to more than ww. r w Presepio. Nativity scene pape 600 birds from over pghcitym feat. more than 100 .co 200 species. With human & angelic figures, classes, lectures, demos and along w/ animals, accessories, more. North Side. & architectural elements.

412-323-7235.

Oakland. 412-622-3131.

NATIONALITY ROOMS. 26 CARNEGIE MUSEUM OF rooms helping to tell the story NATURAL HISTORY. Tlingit of Pittsburghâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s immigrant past.

Totem Pole. Carving & installation University of Pittsburgh. Oakland.

by Tommy Joseph. Ongoing: 412-624-6000.

Earth Revealed, Dinosaurs PENNSYLVANIA TROLLEY In Their Time, more. Oakland.

MUSEUM. Trolley rides and 412-622-3131. exhibits. Includes displays, walking CARNEGIE SCIENCE CENTER. tours, gift shop, picnic area and Lionel Days. Artifacts from Trolley Theatre. Washington.

Lionelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s own train collection feat.

724-228-9256. special activities, a Kids Zone, PHIPPS CONSERVATORY more. Ongoing: Buhl Digital & BOTANICAL GARDEN. Dome (planetarium), Miniature Winter Flower Show & Light Railroad and Village, USS Requin Garden. Feat. poinsettias, submarine, and more. North Side. amaryllis, whimsical lights & 412-237-3400. adornments. 14 indoor rooms & CENTER FOR POSTNATURAL 3 outdoor gardens feature exotic HISTORY. Explore the complex plants and floral displays from interplay between culture, nature around the world. Oakland. and biotechnology. Open Fridays 412-622-6914.

5-8, Saturdays 12-4 & Sundays 12-4.

PITTSBURGH ZOO & PPG Garfield. 412-223-7698.

AQUARIUM. Home to 4,000 CONNEY M. KIMBO GALLERY. animals, including many University of Pittsburgh Jazz endangered species. Highland Exhibit: Memorabilia & Awards Park. 412-665-3639. from the International Hall of RIVERS OF STEEL NATIONAL Fame. Oakland. 412-648-7446.

HERITAGE AREA. Exhibits FALLINGWATER. Tour the on the Homestead Mill. Steel famed Frank Lloyd Wright house. industry and community artifacts 724-329-8501. from 1881-1986. Homestead.

FIRST PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH. 412-464-4020.

Tours of 13 Tiffany stainedSENATOR JOHN HEINZ glass windows. Downtown.

HISTORY CENTER. Pennsylvaniaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 412-471-3436.

Civil War. In-depth look at FORT PITT MUSEUM. Pennsylvaniaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s significant Unconquered: History Meets contributions during the Civil Hollywood at Fort Pitt. Original War feat. artifacts, military movie props, photographs, encampments, life-like museum & costumes alongside 18th figures, more. From Slavery to century artifacts & documents, Freedom. Highlightâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pittsburghâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s comparing & contrasting historical role in the anti-slavery movement. events w/ Hollywood depictions.

Ongoing: Western PA Sports Reconstructed fort houses Museum, Clash of Empires, and museum of Pittsburgh history exhibits on local history, more. circa French & Indian War and Strip District. 412-454-6000.

American Revolution. Downtown.

ST. ANTHONYâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S CHAPEL. 412-281-9285.

Features 5,000 relics of Catholic FRICK ART & HISTORICAL saints. North Side. 412-323-9504.

CENTER. Ongoing: tours of ST. NICHOLAS CROATIAN Clayton, the Frick estate, with CATHOLIC CHURCH. Maxo Vanka classes, car & carriage museum.

Murals. Mid-20th century murals Point Breeze. 412-371-0600. depicting war, social justice and the KENTUCK KNOB. Tour the immigrant experience in America. other Frank Lloyd Wright house.

Millvale. 421-681-0905.

724-329-8501.

EXHIBITS

FULL LIST ONLINE

VISUAL ART

CONTINUED FROM PG. 45

Feat. Line & Color, works by Donn Hedman. S. 27th St., South Side. South Side.

412-381-3181.

FRAMEHOUSE. Associated Artists of Pittsburgh Group Show. Work by more than 40 artists. Lawrenceville.

412-586-4559.

FRICK ART & HISTORICAL CENTER. Clayton Holiday Tours - A Pittsburgh Christmas.

Artifacts displayed in Clayton evoke the family’s celebrations, archival & newspaper materials will give an idea of seasonal activity in & around the city.

Civil War Era Drawings from the Becker Collection. Permanent collection of European Art. Point Breeze. 412-371-0600.

GALLERY ON 43RD STREET. Pieces Together.

Mosaics by Stevo. Lawrenceville.

412-683-6488.

GLENN GREENE STAINED GLASS STUDIO INC. Original Glass Art by Glenn Greene. Exhibition of new work, recent work & older work. Regent Square.

412-243-2772.

HUNT INSTITUTE FOR BOTANICAL DOCUMENTATION. 14th International Exhibition of Botanical Art & Illustration.

Oakland. 412-268-2434.

INTERNATIONAL IMAGES. Venus, Eve, & Madonna.

Presented by the Associated Artists of Pittsburgh. Work by Ruthanne Bauerle, Dorothy de Groat, Tazim Jaffer, Yelena Lamm, Tommy Mason, Daniel Mercer, Nathan Nissim, Rhoda Taylor, more. Sewickley.

412-741-3036.

JAMES GALLERY. Obscure/ Reveal. Hot wax paintings

by Christine Aaron, Karen Freedman, Amber George, Lorraine Glessner, Catherine Nash, James Nesbitt, more.

West End. 412-922-9800.

LA PRIMA ESPRESSO. Paintings/Prints of Italy.

Prints of Vince Ornato’s oil paintings of Italy. Strip District.

412-281-1922.

LAKEVUE ATHLETIC CLUB. Pop-Up Gallery. Work by a variety of artists. . 724-316-9326.

MANCHESTER CRAFTSMEN’S GUILD. Here & Now. Work

by Sharif Bey. North Side.

412-322-1773.

MATTRESS FACTORY. DETROIT: Artists in Residence. Work by Design 99, Jessica Frelinghuysen, Scott Hocking, Nicola Kuperus & Adam Lee Miller, Russ Orlando, Frank Pahl. Janine Antoni: Within. Chiharu Shiota: Trace of Memory. Site-specific installation focusing on the body w/ relation to place & space. Ongoing Installations.

Works by Turrell, Lutz, Kusama, Anastasi, Highstein, Wexler & Woodrow. North Side.

412-231-3169.

MENDELSON GALLERY. African Dreams, Cubists Visions Redux. Sculptures by David Lewis, paintings by Terry Shutko.

Shadyside. 412-361-8664.

MILLER GALLERY AT CARNEGIE MELLON UNIVERSITY. Alien She. Work by Ginger Brooks Takahashi, Tammy Rae Carland, Miranda July, Faythe Levine, Allyson Mitchell, L.J. Roberts, & Stephanie Syjuco. Oakland.

412-268-3618.

MORGAN CONTEMPORARY GLASS GALLERY. common discourse. Group show feat. work by Jen Blazina, Ron Desmett, Michael Janis, Susan Longini, Carmen Lozar, Heather Joy Puskarich, Demetra Theofanous & Randy Walker.

Shadyside. 412-441-5200.

PANZA GALLERY. David A. Ludwig: Structures. Paintings, study sets, & drawings from a 40 year career. Millvale.

412-821-0959.

PENN AVENUE ARTS DISTRICT. Unblurred Gallery Crawl. Garfield.

412-441-6147-ext.-7.

PHOTO ANTIQUITIES. Pictures in Jewelry. Photos embedded in rings, pendants, watch covers & rings, given as gifts between 1880-WWI. Photography of the Great Gatsby Era. See what cameras were popular in the Roaring 20’s including Kodak Vest Pocket Cameras & Vanity Cameras, beautifully housed in Art Deco styled cases. Some even came complete with a mirror and lipstick for those flappers on the go! North Side.

412-231-7881.

PITTSBURGH CENTER FOR THE ARTS. The New Collective. PCA all-guild exhibition of current work.

Shadyside. 412-361-0873.

while shopping for handmade gifts. Thru Dec. 5, 5-7 p.m.

Sweetwater Center for the Arts, Sewickley. 412-741-4405.

HOLIDAY THU 05 ANGORA GARDENS LIGHT-UP NIGHT. Holiday craft vendors, photos w/ Santa, miniature Christmas village, more. 5-7 p.m.

Angora Gardens, . 412-675-8853.

HOLIDAY MART HAPPY HOUR. Enjoy complimentary refreshments & hors d’oeuvres

THU 05 - SAT 07 SEASONAL INSPIRATIONS HOLIDAY CRAFT SHOW. Pottery, paper crafts, stained glass, paintings, more. Mon-Sat. Thru Dec. 23 North Hills Art Center, Ross.

412-364-3622.

POINT PARK UNIVERSITY. DANCE. Work by Joyce Werwie Perry. The Lawrence Hall Gallery.

Downtown. 412-391-4100.

SENATOR JOHN HEINZ HISTORY CENTER. Poptastic!

The Art of Burton Morris.

Retrospective feat. nearly 50 works. Strip District.

412-454-6000.

SILVER EYE CENTER FOR PHOTOGRAPHY. Pittsburgh Collects. 75 selected works contributed by 3 Pittsburgh photography collectors.

South Side. 412-431-1810.

SOCIETY FOR CONTEMPORARY CRAFT SATELLITE GALLERY. Touch in Real Time. Work by Holly Hanessian. Downtown.

412-261-7003.

THE SOCIETY FOR CONTEMPORARY CRAFT. CRAFTED. Feat. 40+ American ceramic artists interpreting the way they see the drinking cup.

ENOUGH Violence: Artists Speak Out. Feat. over 40 works by US & European contemporary artists.

Strip District. 412-261-7003.

SPACE. Behind Our Scenes.

Photographs by Nancy Andrews, Leo Hsu, Dennis Marsico, Annie O’Neill, & Barbara Weissberger.

Downtown. 412-325-7723.

SPINNING PLATE GALLERY. Ignudi: Drawings Based on the Nude Youths of Michelangelo. Work by Richard Claraval. Closing party: Dec. 13, 7-10 p.m. Friendship.

412-441-0194.

THE TOONSEUM. All That and a Bag of Chips: The 90s Animation Renaissance.

Feat. original production art, sketches, storyboards, more.

Downtown. 412-232-0199.

WESTMORELAND MUSEUM OF AMERICAN ART. Born of Fire: The Valley Work.

Greensburg. 724-837-1500.

WOOD STREET GALLERIES. Hive. 3D-animated audiovisual installation where gallery visitors confront a swirling mass of amorphous figures, appearing as a collective of matter as opposed to individual beings in deep space. Downtown.

412-471-5605.

GIFTS & GREENS HOLIDAY MARKET. Dec. 5-6, 10 a.m.-6 p.m. and Sat., Dec. 7, 10 a.m.-5 p.m.

Phipps Garden Center, Shadyside.

412-441-4442.

SNOWFLAKE SHOWCASE MARKET. Paintings, prints, textiles, wood creations, jewelry, ceramics, more. Tue, Thu, Fri, 10 a.m.-4 p.m., Sat, 1-4 p.m. and Wed, 10 a.m.7 p.m. Thru Dec. 18 Greensburg Art Center, Greensburg. 724-837-6791.

December is Customer Appreciation Month

BAR & GRILL

321 EVERGREEN AVENUE MILLVALE

BEERHOUSE

518 LOCUST PLACE SEWICKLEY

Enjoy… $1.75 Yuengling Drafts & Bottles All Day, Every Day during December Stop in to see what is new & improved… · Happy Hour Specials · Drink & Food Specials · Monthly Features · Parties & Prizes

CASEY’S DRAFT HOUSE | VILLA | CARMELLA’S PLATES & PINTS PREGAME | ST. JAMES PLACE TAVERN | JEKYL & HYDE STOP BY AND SIGN UP TODAY. Call 412-965-5684 for details

SOUTHSIDE | 140 S. 18TH STREET | 412-488-0777 BARSMART.COM/JEKYLANDHYDE

LIKE US ON FACEBOOK!

CONTINUES ON PG. 48

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47

BIG LIST, CONTINUED FROM PG. 47

THU 05 - SUN 08 CRAFTSMAN’S GUILD OF PITTSBURGH HOLIDAY ARTIST MARKET. Jewelry, clay, glass, wood, sculpture, textiles, more. Wed-Sun. Thru Jan. 5 709 Penn Gallery, Downtown.

412-456-6666.

HOLIDAY OPEN HOUSE. Themed holiday trees, children’s crafts, raffle, more. Dec. 5-9, 12-8 p.m.

McKeesport Regional History & Heritage Center, McKeesport.

412-678-1832.

Help us raise money for the Leukemia/ Lymphoma Society!

Join us for Jekyl& Hyde’s 4th Annual Nitemare on 18th Street Barcrawl.

STOP IN AND REGISTER TODAYTODAY15$ Donation- Event is Sat. Dec. 7th at 4pm- starting at Jekyl.

We appreciate your support for a cause that is dear to our heartCheers- Carm & MIke

412-918-1215 1908 Carson S Street LIKE US ON FACEBOOK

THU 05 - WED 11 CARNEGIE TREES 2013: EMBRACING THE ART OF PLAY. 20-foot Colorado spruce trees adorned w/ handcrafted ornaments that celebrate the art of play.

Tue-Sun. Thru Jan. 12 Carnegie Museum of Art, Oakland. 412-622-3131.

HOLIDAY TRAIN DISPLAY. Working coal mine, airport, steel mill & firework display.

Mon-Fri and Sat, Sun. Thru Jan. 4 Penn Hills VFD #224, Verona.

412-828-0860.

THE PCA ANNUAL HOLIDAY SHOP. Ceramics, jewelry, fiber art, prints, more by 200+ regional artists. Thu-Sat, 10 a.m.7 p.m., Sun, 12-5 p.m., Tue, Wed, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. and Mon, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Thru Dec. 23 Pittsburgh Center for the Arts, Shadyside. 412-361-0873.

HOLIDAY COCKTAIL CLASS. 1 p.m. Tender Bar + FESTIVAL OF LIGHTS. Tree Kitchen, Lawrenceville. lighting ceremony, craft show, 412-402-9522. live nativity, ice carving, carriage rides, food drive, more.

Presented by La Roche College & CHRISTMAS AT THE VILLAGE. the Sisters of Divine Providence.

Crafters, vendors, children’s 3 p.m. LaRoche College, Wexford. activities, more. 2-9 p.m.

412-367-9300. and Sun., Dec. 8, 2-7 p.m.

IRWIN CHRISTMAS COOKIE Old Economy Village, Ambridge.

TOUR. 5 p.m. Downtown 724-266-4500.

Irwin, 724-864-3100.

FAIR TRADE MARKETPLACE. JINGLEFEST. Networking Holiday gift market. 4-7 p.m. event w/ food, raffles, more. and Thru Dec. 8, 10 a.m.-3 p.m.

Presented by the Pittsburgh Environmental Charter Airport Area Chamber School, Regent Square. of Commerce. 11 a.m.-2 p.m.

412-247-7970 x 014.

Montour Heights GLASS ORNAMENT Country Club, Coraopolis.

WORKSHOPS. 412-264-6270.

Sat, Sun, LIGHT THE NIGHT. 9 a.m.-6 p.m. Thru www. per Christmas concert & a p Dec. 22 Vessel Studio pghcitym celebration feat. local .co Glass, South Side. performing arts groups & 412-779-2471. student choirs. 6:30 p.m.

POP-UP HOLIDAY SALE. and Sun., Dec. 8, 6:30 p.m.

Feat. gifts from New Guild Allegheny Center Alliance Church, artists & Trundle Manor.

North Side. 412-321-3811.

Music by The Braddock Brothers HOLIDAY OPEN HOUSE. on Dec. 7. 10 a.m.-8 p.m.

Face-painting, yoga session, and Sun., Dec. 8, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. live music, drum circle, more.

New Guild Studio, Braddock.

5 p.m. Sri Yantra Yoga, 412-351-6220.

724-746-1327.

FRI 06

SAT 07 - SUN 08

FULL LIST ONLINE

FRI 06 - SUN 08

HOLIDAY TOUR OF HOMES. Walking tour of 6 historic homes w/ cider & cookie reception to follow. Call for reservation. YWCA of Westmoreland County, Greensburg. 724-837-6274.

LIGHT THE NIGHT. Christmas concert & celebration feat. local performing arts groups & student choirs.

6:30 p.m. and Sun., Dec. 8, 6:30 p.m. Allegheny Center Alliance Church, North Side.

412-321-3811.

MAGICAL CHRISTMAS EXPRESS ICE SKATING SHOW. Skating performance, open skate w/ Santa, more.

1 p.m. RMU Island Sports Center, Neville Island.

412-397-4454.

SAT 07

SEASONAL INSPIRATIONS HOLIDAY CRAFT SHOW. Pottery, paper crafts, stained glass, paintings, more. Mon-Sat. Thru Dec. 23 North Hills Art Center, Ross. 412-364-3622.

SNOWFLAKE SHOWCASE MARKET. Paintings, prints, textiles, wood creations, jewelry, ceramics, more.

Tue, Thu, Fri, 10 a.m.-4 p.m., Sat, 1-4 p.m. and Wed, 10 a.m.7 p.m. Thru Dec. 18 Greensburg Art Center, Greensburg. 724-837-6791.

BEN AVON HOLIDAY HOUSE TOUR. avonclub.benavon. org/2013housetour.html 10 a.m.9 p.m. Community Presbyterian Church of Ben Avon, 412-720-0602.

CHRISTMAS CRAFT SHOW. 9 a.m.-2 p.m. Saint Margaret of Scotland, Green Tree.

FIFTH AVENUE PLACE HOLLY TROLLEY. Hosted by Santa’s little helpers, trolleys circle downtown each weekend picking up at stops approximately every 15 minutes. www.downtownpittsburgh.com Sat. Thru Dec. 21 Fifth Avenue Place, Downtown.

HANDMADE ARCADE. Independent craft fair. www.handmadearcade.com 11 a.m.-7 p.m. David Lawrence Convention Center, Downtown.

412-565-6000.

48

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.04/12.11.2013

SUN 08

24TH ANNUAL BEAVER COUNTY FESTIVAL OF TREES. Decorated trees, holiday candy, live music, Santa, more. Benefits the Beaver County CYS & U.S. SARR Corps. www.beavercountyfestivaloftrees. org 5-9 p.m. and Thru Dec. 8, 12-9 p.m. Brady’s Run Park Lodge, Beaver Falls.

FAIR TRADE MARKETPLACE. Holiday gift market. 4-7 p.m. and Thru Dec. 8, 10 a.m.-3 p.m.

Environmental Charter School, Regent Square.

412-247-7970 x 014.

HOLIDAY GLASS SALE. Glassblowing demos: Dec. 6, Ornament making: Dec. 7.

6-9 p.m., Sat., Dec. 7, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. and Sun., Dec. 8, 10 a.m.-4 p.m.

Pittsburgh Glass Center, Friendship. 412-365-2145.

TUE 10 - WED 11

WED 11 CRAFTSMAN’S GUILD OF PITTSBURGH HOLIDAY ARTIST MARKET. Jewelry, clay, glass, wood, sculpture, textiles, more. Wed-Sun. Thru Jan. 5 709 Penn Gallery, Downtown. 412-456-6666.

DANCE FRI 06 WORLD DANCE HOLIDAY RECITAL. Feat. Amethyst Electrobelly, Sahra DeRoy, Anjali Soi & their students. 8 p.m.

Union Project, Highland Park.

412-897-0809.

FRI 06 - SUN 08 THE NUTCRACKER. Presented by the Carnegie Performing Arts Center. Fri, Sat, 8 p.m. and Sun, 2 p.m. Thru Dec. 15 Andrew Carnegie Free Library Music Hall, Carnegie. 412-276-3456.

THE NUTCRACKER Presented by the Pittsburgh Ballet Theatre.

Fri, 7 p.m., Sat, 2 & 7 p.m., Sun, 12 & 4:30 p.m., Thu, 7 p.m., Mon., Dec. 23, 7 p.m. and Sun., Dec. 29, 12 p.m. Thru Dec. 26 Benedum Center, Downtown.

412-456-6666.

FUNDRAISERS SAT 07 JINGLE BELL RUN/WALK. 5K benefiting the Arthritis Foundation. Art Rooney Ave., North Side. 7:30 a.m.

412-250-3342.

PITTSBURGH HONORS BALL: GALAXY. DJ, raffle, special guest appearances by dance icons Jack Mizrahi & Legendary Kevin JZ. Benefits the Pittsburgh AIDS Task Force. 8 p.m. Andy Warhol Museum, North Side.

412-345-0587.

WINTERFEST. Live music, raffle, more. Presented by the East End Food Co-op, benefiting the Greater Pittsburgh Community Food Bank.

6:30-9:30 p.m. Jewish Community Center, Squirrel Hill. 412-242-3598.

SUN 08 BOOK ‘EM BOOKS TO PRISONERS WORK PARTY. Read & code letters, pick books, pack ‘em or database ‘em!

Sundays 4-7 p.m. or by appt.

Thomas Merton Center, Garfield.

412-361-3022.

YOGA FOR A CAUSE. Benefits Operation Walk Pittsburgh. 11 a.m.-2 p.m.

The Pittsburgh Winery, Strip District. 412-641-1938.

LITERARY THU 05 ENGLISH LEARNERS’ BOOK CLUB. For advanced ESL students.

Presented in cooperation w/ the Greater Pittsburgh Literacy Council. Thu, 1 p.m. Mount Lebanon Public Library, Mt. Lebanon. 412-531-1912.

THE HOUR AFTER HAPPY HOUR WRITER’S WORKSHOP. Young writers & recent graduates looking for additional feedback on their work. thehourafterhappyhour.wordpress. com Thu, 7-9 p.m. The Big Idea Bookstore & Cafe, Bloomfield.

412-687-4323.

SPOKEN JAZZ. Open mic-less

[HOLIDAY] night w/ musical accompaniment for poetry, prose, song, more. First Thu of every month, 8-10 p.m.

The Space Upstairs, Point Breeze.

412-225-9269.

SAT 07 BOOKS IN THE ‘BURGH. Book fair & book signings w/ 50+ local authors. 10 a.m.-3 p.m.

Senator John Heinz History Center, Strip District. 412-454-6000.

ITALIAN CONVERSATION. Third and First Sat of every month, 11 a.m.-12 p.m. Carnegie Library, Oakland. 412-622-3151.

NATIVE AMERICAN STORYTELLING. w/ James Beard, AKA Noodin. 1 p.m. Sri Yantra Yoga, . 724-746-1327.

Couple’s Night

WED, DEC. 4 SWEET DEALS FOR TWO

MON 09

XXXmas Matinee Party: DECEMBER 13

GEORGE SAUNDERS. Monday Night Lecture Series. 7:30 p.m.

Carnegie Music Hall, Oakland.

412-622-8866.

TUE 10 ASPINWALL TOASTMASTERS. Communication, leadership & public speaking. Tue, 6:30-8 p.m.

UPMC Lighthouse Pointe, Aspinwall. 412-760-0690.

LET’S SPEAK ENGLISH! Practice conversational English.

Tue, 6 p.m. Carnegie Library, Squirrel Hill. 412-422-9650.

LET’S TALK ABOUT IT: MUSLIM JOURNEYS, LITERARY REFLECTIONS. Snow by Orhan Pamuk.

6:30-7:30 p.m. Carnegie Library, Oakland. 412-622-3151.

MT. LEBANON WRITER’S GROUP. Second Tue of every month, 7 p.m. Thru Feb. 11 Mount Lebanon Public Library, Mt. Lebanon. 412-531-1912.

WED 11 CARNEGIE KNITS & READS. Informal knitting session.

Every other Wed, 5 p.m. Thru Dec. 18 Carnegie Library, Oakland.

412-622-3116.

KIDSTUFF THU 05 TAIL WAGGING TUTORS. Read aloud to a furry friend trained by Therapy Dogs International. 7 p.m. Mount Lebanon Public Library, Mt. Lebanon. 412-531-1912.

THU 05 - SAT 07 A YEAR W/ FROG & TOAD. Based on the Books by Arnold Lobel. Fri, 8:15 p.m., Sat, 2:30 & 8:15 p.m. and Thru Dec. 5, 7:30 p.m. Thru Dec. 7 Butler Little Theatre, Butler. 724-287-6781.

THU 05 - WED 11 BACKYARD EXHIBIT. Musical swing set, sandbox, solar-powered instruments, more.

Ongoing Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh, North Side.

412-322-5058.

BALL. 500 beach balls, larger inflatable balls, a disco ball

Shows All Day & Night Starting at NOON, with Christina Aguchi, Dec.10-14 All the 21st-century holiday stress got you down? With its annual Christmas at the Village event, Old Economy Village offers a chance to visit the mid-1800s. Visitors can enjoy mulled wine and cider by the fire, listen to carolers, watch educational demonstrations and peruse the wares of local vendors. For kids, there will be crafts and an appearance by Belsnickel, the Pennsylvania Dutch Santa Claus.

2-9 p.m. Sat., Dec. 7, and 2-7 p.m. Sun., Dec. 8. 270 16th St., Ambridge. $5-12. 724-266-4500 or www.oldeconomyvillage.org

& music. Ongoing Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh, North Side. 412-322-5058.

TAPESCAPE. Massive indoor landscape made of 22 miles of packing tape. Thru Jan. 19, 2014 Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh, North Side.

412-322-5058.

TOUGH ART. Interactive artworks by Chris Beauregard, Katie Ford, Scott Garner, Isla Hansen & Luke Loeffler.

Ongoing Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh, North Side.

412-322-5058.

KID’S NIGHT OUT. Holiday crafts & classes. Ages 5-12.

Fri, 6-9 p.m. Thru Dec. 20 The ToonSeum, Downtown.

412-232-0199.

ROCK BAND! Open stage for teen singers, songwriters & instrumentalists to play w/ Emma Cox & Elliot Beck.

Presented by Hope Academy.

Fri, 5:30-7 p.m. Thru Dec. 27 East Liberty Presbyterian Church, East Liberty.

412-441-3800 x 43.

Village®, and a chance to meet Mr. McFeely, more. Sat. Thru Dec. 21 Carnegie Science Center, North Side. 412-237-3400.

FAMILY FUN AT FIFTH AVE PLACE: SPIRAL INTO GREEN. Discover the trick to creating ice cream with the Carnegie Science Center, create spin art & elf hats with the Children’s Museum, more. 11 a.m.-2 p.m. Fifth Avenue Place, Downtown.

HOLIDAY FOR THE BIRDS. Make a biodegradable bird feeder, learn about local birds & wild animals, & meet animals from Oglebay Park’s Good Zoo. Ages 3-6. Call to register.

9:30 a.m. Mount Lebanon Public Library, Mt. Lebanon.

412-854-3606.

JR. ROLLER DERBY ORIENTATION. Ages 10-17.

First Sat of every month, 11 a.m. Thru Dec. 7 Neville Roller Drome, Neville Island.

520-977-1207.

MARTY’S MARKET KIDS’ CORNER. Ages 5-11. Sat, 3-5 p.m.

Marty’s Market, Strip District.

412-586-7177.

SAT 07

SAT 07 - SUN 08

BREAKFAST EXPRESS. Breakfast, The Polar Express: An IMAX Experience, time in the Miniature Railroad &

ACETATE COLLAGE. Dec. 7-8, 10 a.m.-5 p.m.

Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh, North Side. 412-322-5058.

FRI 06

OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK Mon-Sat: Noon-2am Sun: 3pm-2am

135 9th Street 412-281-7703 www.blushexotic.com DOWNTOWN PITTSBURGH

SANTA FAMILY FUN CRUISES. Sat, Sun, 1 p.m. Thru Dec. 22 Gateway Clipper Fleet, Station Square. 412-355-7980.

SLEEPING BEAUTY HOLIDAY. An interactive musical production.

Sat, Sun, 1 & 3:30 p.m. Thru Dec. 22 Gemini Theater, Point Breeze. 412-243-6464.

SUN 08 8TH ANNUAL INTERNATIONAL CHRISTMAS FOR CHILDREN. Stories, crafts & a photo with Santa. For ages 3-7.

12 & 3:30 p.m. Greensburg Garden and Civic Center, Greensburg. 724-836-1123.

TUE 10 MOVE W/ ME. Ages 3-4.

10:30 a.m.-12 p.m. & 1-2:30 p.m.

Phipps Conservatory & Botanical Garden, Oakland.

412-441-4442 x 3925.

OUTSIDE THU 05 WOODS RUN TOP TO BOTTOM. A guided 4-to-5-mile hike starting at Observatory Hill.

6 p.m. 412-255-0564.

Now Booking Holiday Parties & 2014 Events

TUE 10

146 44th St . Pgh, PA 15201

SURVIVAL BASICS. Tue, 3-4:30 p.m. Schenley Park, Oakland. 412-477-4677.

ww.cattivo.biz

CONTINUES ON PG. 50

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BIG LIST, CONTINUED FROM PG. 49

Real hook ups, real fast.

WED 11 WEDNESDAY MORNING WALK. Naturalist-led, rain or shine. Wed Beechwood Farms, Fox Chapel. 412-963-6100.

OTHER STUFF THU 05

Free

TRY FOR

412.566.1861 Local Numbers: 1.800.926.6000 Ahora en Español 18+

www.livelinks.com

ARTIST LECTURE W/ LARRY KIRKLAND. Learn about the design process for the Southwestern Pennsylvania World War II Memorial.

Call to RSVP. 4-5:30 p.m.

Carnegie Science Center, North Side. 412-391-2060 x 237.

EMPATHY FIRST. A compassionate communication & conflict transformation study group based on the work of peace activist, Dr. Marshall Rosenberg. 7424 Washington St., Swissvale. First and Third Thu of every month, 7 p.m.

412-271-7660.

FIRE K STUDIOS OPEN HOUSE. Recording studio grand opening feat. demos, live music, raffles, more.

6-9 p.m. Fire K Studios, 412-655-3030.

ILLUSTRATION ALE RELEASE PARTY. 2013 edition debut of East End Brewery’s ale created for The ToonSeum. 7 p.m. The ToonSeum, Downtown. 412-232-0199.

INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S ASSOCIATION OF PITTSBURGH. Social,

cultural club of American/ international women. Thu First Baptist Church, Oakland. iwap. pittsburgh@gmail.com.

RENAISSANCE DANCE GUILD. Learn a variety of dances from the 15-17th centuries. Porter Hall, Room A18A. Thu, 8 p.m.

Carnegie Mellon University, Oakland. 412-567-7512.

STUDENT SYMPOSIUM ON THE ENVIRONMENT. Sponsored by Environmental Programs , Slippery Rock Watershed Coalition & Jennings Environmental Education Center.

5:30-9 p.m. Westminster College, 1-800-942-8033.

WEST COAST SWING. Swing dance lessons for all levels. Thu, 7 p.m. Pittsburgh Dance Center, Bloomfield. 412-681-0111.

FRI 06 21+ NIGHT AT THE SCIENCE CENTER. Holiday-themed activities, live music, more.

Carnegie Science Center, North Side. 412-237-3400.

CMU SCHOOL OF ART OPEN STUDIO DAY. Art sale, studio tours, video screenings, food & drink, more. 3rd & 4th floors, College of Fine Arts. 5-9 p.m.

Carnegie Mellon University, Oakland. 412-268-2409.

GROOVE AESTHETIC: BACH BOOM BOX. Feat. Anqwenique Wingfield, MC Shad Ali, TRIO+, Tracksploitation, Creative Chemistry, more. 8 p.m.

The Alloy Studios, Friendship.

419-296-8030.

RAINBOW RISING COFFEE HOUSE. For gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered individuals and friends. Music, games, movies, entertainment and more. Unitarian Universalist Congregation, Smithton. First Fri of every month 724-872-5056.

THE VELVET UNDERGROUND: WHITE LIGHT/WHITE HEAT LISTENING EVENT. 7-10 p.m.

Andy Warhol Museum, North Side. 412-237-8300.

FRI 06 -SUN 08 STEEL CITY CON. Toy, comic & pop culture convention. Special guests: George Takei, Kylie Szymanski, Larry Thomas, Catherine Bach, Walter Jones, more. www. steelcitycon.com 1-9 p.m., Sat., Dec. 7, 10 a.m.-8 p.m. and Sun., Dec. 8, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Monroeville Convention Center, Monroeville.

SAT 07 HANDMADE ARCADE. Independent craft fair. www. handmadearcade.com 11 a.m.7 p.m. David Lawrence Convention Center, Downtown. 412-565-6000.

HEALTH SMART: AFFORDABLE CARE ACT INFORMATION SESSION. 1-2:30 p.m. Carnegie Library, Oakland. 412-622-3151.

KOREAN FOR BEGINNERS. Korean grammar & basic conversation. Sat, 1-2:30 p.m.

Thru Dec. 14 Carnegie Library, Oakland. 412-622-3151.

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.04/12.11.2013

EVERYONE IS A CRITIC EVENT: “Silents, Please” screening at the Hollywood Theater, Dormont CRITIC: Ashley Marmott, 34, a lawyer from Shadyside WHEN: Sun.,

Dec. 01 Today the theater showed four very brilliant silent films, both American and foreign, with the accompaniment of a beautiful score performed live. I personally do not see the point of silent films, but my husband really appreciates them and insists that they are a proud part of film history, so he brought me along today and I ended up really enjoying myself. The live music performance [by Sound/ Unsound] was absolutely stunning, the Buster Keaton film really blew me away, and the theater itself was a great venue for such an event. I was absolutely surprised and shocked to have enjoyed myself that much in there because I did not even like The Artist, which many people that I have talked to seem to consider one of the best silent films ever. Hopefully they will do more events like this, because I actually believe that I would come back again and really learn to appreciate silent films.

B Y B RE T T W I L S ON

KOREAN II. For those who already have a basic understanding of Korean & are interested in increasing proficiency. Sat, 11 a.m.-12:30 p.m.

Thru Dec. 28 Carnegie Library, Oakland. 412-622-3151.

LIVING HISTORY DEMONSTRATIONS. Part of the Pennsylvania’s Civil War exhibit.

Sat, 11 a.m.-3 p.m. Thru Dec. 14 Senator John Heinz History Center, Strip District. 412-454-6000.

MINI SIGN-A-THON. Reaching out to the deaf community w/ special guest Rev. Dr. Raymont Anderson & his theatrical performance company, B.E.L.I.E.V.E. 12:30-3 p.m. Rodman Street Missionary Baptist Church, East Liberty. 412-363-8082.

THE PEOPLE’S UNIVERSITY: BEYOND CALLIGRAPHY & MOSAICS W/ KAREN HUSSAINI. 3-5 p.m. Carnegie Library, Oakland. 412-622-3151.

PHOTOGRAPHY BOOK MARKET. Special presentation by Spaces Corners at 2 p.m. 12-6 p.m. Silver Eye Center for Photography, South Side. 412-431-1810.

PITTSBURGH ACADEMY OF CHINESE CULTURE & LANGUAGE OPEN HOUSE. 2-4 p.m. Reformed Presbyterian Church of the North Hills, Ross. 573-202-9882.

PITTSBURGH CHEF’S TABLE LAUNCH PARTY. Launch of eatPGH’s new book. Hors d’oeuvres, beverages by Full Pint Brewing, Boyd & Blair Vodka, Maggie’s Rum Farm, more.

7-10 p.m. Marty’s Market, Strip District. 412-586-7177.

PREPARING FOR THE NEW YEAR: SELF IMPROVEMENT WORKSHOP. 2:30 p.m. Carnegie Library, Downtown. 412-281-7141.

SATURDAY NIGHT SALSA CRAZE. Free lessons, followed by dancing. Sat, 10 p.m. La Cucina Flegrea, Downtown. 412-708-8844.

SCOTTISH COUNTRY DANCING. Lessons 7-8 p.m., social dancing follows. No partner needed. Mon, 7 p.m. and Sat, 7 p.m. Grace Episcopal Church, Mt. Washington.

412-683-5670.

SPANISH CONVERSATION GROUP. Friendly, informal.

At the Starbucks inside Target.

Sat, 3:30-5:30 p.m. Target East Liberty, East Liberty.

412-362-6108.

SUN 08 AMNESTY INTERNATIONAL HUMAN RIGHTS CAFE. Weekly letter writing event. Sun, 4-6 p.m. Panera Bread, Oakland.

412-683-3727.

APPLE W/ BUFFALOBUFFALOBUFFALO. Live Shadowbox Performance presented by Industrial Gardens.

7 p.m. Belvedere’s, Lawrenceville.

412-508-3393.

ARABIC FOR BEGINNERS. Second and Third Sun of every month, 2-3 p.m. Carnegie Library, Oakland. 412-622-3151.

CHINESE FOR BEGINNERS. Second Sun of every month,

3:30-4:30 p.m. and Fourth Sun of every month Carnegie Library, Oakland. 412-622-3151.

SPIRITUALISM & HEALING. w/ Kitsy Higgins. Theosophical Society of Pittsburgh. 1:30-3 p.m.

Chatham University, Shadyside.

412-462-4200.

STEEL CITY ROLLER DERBY HOME BOUT. 5 p.m. Romp & Roll Skating Rink, Glenshaw.

412-486-4117.

WESTERN PA & THE FUR TRADE. A hands-on historical program. 2 p.m. Jennings Environmental Center, Slippery Rock. 724-794-6011.

YIDDISH FOR BEGINNERS. Every other Sun, 12:30-1:30 p.m. Thru Dec. 22 Carnegie Library, Oakland.

412-622-3151.

MON 09 AMNESTY INTERNATIONAL PITTSBURGH’S HUMAN RIGHTS FESTIVAL. Letter writing, plus photo area, arts activities & performance, more. www.amnestypgh.org. 6-9 p.m.

Calvary Episcopal Church, Shadyside. 412-661-0120.

BOUNDARIES & SELF CARE. A support group for women 30+. Second and Fourth Mon of every month Anchorpoint Counseling Ministry, .

THE DEN. Second and Fourth Mon of every month Carnegie Library, Oakland. 412-622-3151.

GERMAN CONVERSATION. 7:30 p.m. Mount Lebanon Public Library, Mt. Lebanon.

412-531-1912.

NEIGHBORHOOD. Speaker: Chris Briem, Univ. of Pgh. Center for Social & Urban Research.

Presented by the Squirrel Hill Historical Society. 7:30 p.m. Church of the Redeemer, Squirrel Hill.

412-417-3707.

your voice: Gilbert & Sullivan (preferred), standard musical theater, or classical.

Accompanist will be provided. www.pittsburghsavoyards.org Our Lady of Victory Maronite Catholic Church, Carnegie.

412-734-8476.

PRIME STAGE THEATRE. BEREAVEMENT SUPPORT Auditions for The Devil’s GROUP. For Widows/Widowers Arithmetic. Dec. 10-11. Seeking over 50. Second and Fourth male & female actors age 14 to Wed of every month, 1-2:30 p.m. adult. Actors should prepare a 1 to St. Sebastian Church, Ross.

2 minute dramatic monologue, 412-366-1300. a resume & headshot. Schedule COMPETITIVE SCRABBLE. an appointment at www.

Seeking new players, no primestage.com. The Oakland experience necessary. Wednesdays, School, Oakland.

Squirrel Hill. 412-422-7878.

PROJECT EVOLUTION DETROIT STYLE URBAN MODEL CALL. Casting BALLROOM DANCE. females, males & 3rd floor. Wed, children. Dec. 6. No 6:30-8 p.m. Hosanna requirements (height, House, Wilkinsburg. www. per pa weight, etc.) Email 412-242-4345. pghcitym .co models@projectevo.org ENGLISH for information. Penn CONVERSATION (ESL).

Rose Building, Strip District.

Wed, 10 a.m. Mount Lebanon Public Library, Mt. Lebanon.

412-969-8344.

412-531-1912.

SOUNDS OF PITTSBURGH INSTITUTE FOR ENTREPRENEURIAL CHORUS. Auditions for EXCELLENCE WINTER SOCIAL. annual Christmas concert.

6-9:30 p.m. J. Verno Studios, Women only, all ages.

South Side. 412-648-1389. masember@mac.com LET’S SPEAK ENGLISH! Practice Coraopolis United Methodist conversational English. Wed, Church, Coraopolis.

5-6 p.m. Carnegie Library, 412-279-6062.

Oakland. 412-622-3151.

THE THEATRE FACTORY. THE PITTSBURGH SHOW OFFS. Auditions for The Mystery of Irma A meeting of jugglers & spinners.

Vep. Dec 8-9. Seeking 2 men to All levels welcome. Wed, 7:30 p.m. play all roles. Prepare a 2 min Union Project, Highland Park. monologue. Call or email 412-363-4550. tfauditions@gmail.com for an appointment. 724-454-7193.

WED 11

FULL LIST ONLINE

SUBMISSIONS BLAST FURNACE. Seeking

[VOLUNTEER OPPORTUNITY]

PIRATEFEST

To help celebrate this year’s PirateFest, held Dec. 14 and 15 at the David L. Lawrence Convention Center, folks from the Pittsburgh Children’s Museum’s Make Shop will be building a replica of PNC Park using only recycled material.

Volunteers are needed to guide PirateFest visitors, who are invited to help with the project. For information or to register, visit piratefestchildrensmuseum.eventbrite.com.

MORNING SPANISH LITERATURE & CONVERSATION. Mon, 10 a.m. Mount Lebanon Public Library, Mt. Lebanon.

412-531-1912.

SCOTTISH COUNTRY DANCING. Lessons 7-8 p.m., social dancing follows. No partner needed.

Mon, 7 p.m. and Sat, 7 p.m. Grace Episcopal Church, Mt. Washington.

412-683-5670.

TUE 10 BOUNDARIES & SELF CARE. Fourth and Second Tue of every month, 6-7:30 p.m. Anchorpoint Counseling Ministry, 412-366-1300.

OPEN (POST) JAZZ IMPROVISATIONAL DANCE CLASS. Tue, 7-10 p.m. Thru Jan. 28 The Space Upstairs, Point Breeze.

412-225-9269.

SQUIRREL HILL BY THE NUMBERS: GROWTH & CHANGE OF A PITTSBURGH

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WEST COAST SWING WEDNESDAYS. Swing dance lessons. Wed, 9 p.m. The Library, South Side. 916-287-1373.

AUDITIONS THE ASSUMPTION THEATRE GUILD. Auditions for Children of Eden. Dec. 7-8. Prepare 16 measures of a song, & a simple dance combination will be taught. Children grade 3+ are welcome. Call for information. 412-322-1754.

MCKEESPORT LITTLE THEATER. Auditions for Boeing Boeing. Dec. 14-15.

Prepare a 2-min. monologue. www.mckeesportlittletheater.com McKeesport. 412-673-1100.

THE PITTSBURGH SAVOYARDS. Auditions for Gilbert & Sullivan’s Utopia Limited. Dec. 9 & 11. Prepare a song that best showcases

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submissions for Volume 3, Issue 4. Submit no more than 3 of your best poems in any theme. http://blastfurnace.submittable. com/Submit CLASH INTERNATIONAL. Seeking performance artists for Local People for Global Causes fundraising event in February 2014. Particularly seeking artists w/ relevant performance pieces (i.e. short plays, comedy sketches, songs, spoken poetry etc.). localforglobal@gmail.com THE HOUR AFTER HAPPY HOUR REVIEW. Seeking submissions in all genres for fledgling literary magazine curated by members of the Hour After Happy Hour Writing Workshop. afterhappyhourreview.com WESTMORELAND MUSEUM OF AMERICAN ART. Seeking individual artists & artist groups for month-long exhibitions in a new transitional gallery measuring.

Artists will be responsible for all aspects of their exhibition. Send images & a brief introduction to the work to: bljones@wmuseumaa. org w/ a cc: to jotoole@ wmuseumaa.org & jmcgarry@ wmuseumaa.org. Greensburg.

724-837-1500.

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Savage Love {BY DAN SAVAGE}

blogh.pghcitypaper.com

The first hit is free.

Actually, so are all the others.

I’m a bi woman in a great relationship with my straight boyfriend. We occasionally invite other women into our sex life, which is really enjoyable for both of us. We’ve hooked up with both friends and strangers, but always as a couple because it makes us both feel safe. Enter the problem: I was visiting some friends of ours I used to live with. After going out for drinks, we were playing an alcohol-fueled card game that turned into an alcohol-fueled strip card game. One friend soon had her lovely breasts out, and she made a few comments that were inviting and turned me on a little. I touched her boobs and sucked on her nipples, but that’s as far as things went.

Her boyfriend witnessed this but wasn’t involved. It was a fun, playful moment, and soon after, I went to bed — alone. It wasn’t anything my boyfriend would’ve objected to had he been there.

Should I tell him about it, or is this a case where he has the right not to know? I’m not interested in pursuing anything further with this friend, and I’m not sure what talking about it would accomplish, other than being honest at the expense of my boyfriend’s feelings, and probably making me feel bad for something that, although it seemed innocent, I shouldn’t have done.

NON-INTENTIONAL PLAYFUL PARTYING LADY EXPERIENCES SITUATION

This experience would seem to fall in the “right not to know” column, NIPPLES, but “right not to know” always has to be weighed against “likelihood of finding out.”

You indicate that this couple aren’t just friends of yours, but friends of “ours.”

If either of them makes a reference to this game of strip cribbage — or strip Uno or strip poker — the next time the four of you hang out, the boyfriend could be blindsided.

And it’s not clear whether there were other witnesses.

If there were, and if you socialize with them, the chances that your boyfriend will find out increase exponentially.

You’ll have to ask yourself whether finding out about the incident at a party or via a snarky Facebook post would leave your boyfriend twice as upset — because then we’re talking about a crime and a cover-up, and learning about the incident in a manner that leaves him feeling humiliated.

didn’t love you. People have been known to lie about this shit. But I don’t think a guy would move across the country or plan a future with a woman for whom he felt nothing. Either he loves you but hasn’t found the right moment to say so, or he’s sensible enough to realize that you can’t be certain that you’re in love with someone until after you’ve had at least one fight.

That said, if you’re ready to say it to him, go ahead. Just don’t have a meltdown if he’s not ready — yet — to say it to you.

Say you’ve always wanted to peg a guy, but your otherwise GGG hot husband isn’t into receiving anal — for good reason (he’s had health problems back there). But he jokingly suggests he would be fine with you pegging his equally hot gay little brother.

Should you ask his gay brother if you can peg him?

WANTING IT FOR EVAH

No. How stupid would it be to sleep with my boss’ 18-year-old son? My boss has become a mentor. He and his wife have welcomed me into their home, which includes their aforementioned son, a high school senior. I am a 23-year-old woman. Normally, I wouldn’t sleep with anyone younger than 20. But besides being very attractive, my boss’ son is funny, kind and sweet. He also has some unexplored kinks that most girls his age have no interest in. I want to spend the next few months fucking my boss’ son — honoring your campsite rule. Here are the problems I see: (1) Fucking around with your boss’ kid seems a surefire way to wreck your relationship with your boss. (2) He is still in high school.

THE “RIGHT NOT TO KNOW” ALWAYS HAS TO BE WEIGHED AGAINST “LIKELIHOOD OF FINDING OUT.”

SEX OR NOT

HOPEFULLY NOT UNLOVABLE

1. Fucking your boss’ kid seems like a surefire way to get your ass fired, and it could derail your career. If you get caught. But you wouldn’t be the first person to risk everything for sex. As Mark Twain observed: “The human being … places sexual intercourse far and away above all other joys — yet he has left it out of his heaven! The very thought of it excites him; opportunity sets him wild; in this state, he will risk life, reputation, everything — even his queer heaven itself — to make good that opportunity and ride it to the overwhelming climax.”

2. He is an adult — who is still in high school.

You are not that far out of high school. According to my calculations, you’re not that far apart in age. You might be sabotaging your career, but you wouldn’t be robbing the cradle.

3. The campsite rule for new readers: The older and/or more experienced person in a sexual relationship with a large age and/or experience gap is obligated to leave the younger and/or less experienced partner in better shape than when they found him or her. That means no sexually transmitted infections, no fertilized eggs, no unnecessary drama and no unnecessary trauma.

Even if your boyfriend had said “I love you” 100,000 times, it would still be possible that he

Find the Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) every Tuesday at savagelovecast.com.

My boyfriend of nearly a year and I live together and are planning to move across the country in about a month. We have never fought and get along swimmingly.

We have amazing sex, see eye-to-eye on almost everything, and are planning a future together. The only thing is, we have never said, “I love you,” to each other. Is this normal? I know we love each other, but being in a serious relationship of almost a year and not saying those words? Could it be that he doesn’t love me?

SEND IN YOUR QUESTIONS TO MAIL@SAVAGELOVE.NET AND FIND THE SAVAGE LOVECAST (DAN’S WEEKLY PODCAST) AT THESTRANGER.COM/SAVAGE

52

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.04/12.11.2013

FOR THE WEEK OF

Free Will Astrology

12.04-12.11

{BY ROB BREZSNY}

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): The standard dictionary says that “righteous” is a word that means virtuous and highly moral. The slang dictionary says that “righteous” describes someone or something that’s absolutely genuine and wonderful. Urbandictionary.com suggests that “righteous” refers to the ultimate version of any type of experience, especially “sins of pleasure” like lust and greed. According to my analysis, the coming week will be jampacked with righteousness for you. Which of the three definitions will predominate? It’s possible you will embody and attract all three types.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20):

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): In the dreams you’re having at night, Capricorn, I bet you’re traveling through remote landscapes in all kinds of weather. Maybe you’re recreating the voyage of the Polynesian sailors who crossed hundreds of miles of Pacific Ocean to find Hawaii 1,500 years ago. Or maybe you’re hiking through the Darkhad Valley, where the Mongolian steppe meets Siberia’s vast forests.

It’s possible you’re visiting places where your ancestors lived or you’re migrating to the first human settlement on Mars in the 22nd century.

What do dreams like this mean? I think you’re trying to blow your own mind. Your deep self and your higher wisdom are conspiring to flood you with new ways of seeing reality.

In the mid-19th century, French art was dominated by the government-sponsored Salon, whose conservative policies thwarted upcoming new trends like Impressionism. One anti-authoritarian painter who rebelled was Camille Pissarro.

“What is the best way to further the evolution of French art?” he was asked. “Burn down the Louvre,” he replied. The Louvre, as you may know, was and still is a major art museum in Paris. Judging from your current astrological omens, I surmise that you might want to make a symbolic statement equivalent to Pissarro’s. It’s time for you to graduate from traditions that no longer feed you so you can freely seek out new teachers and influences.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18):

GEMINI (May 21-June 20):

It wouldn’t be too extreme for you to kiss the ground that has been walked on by people you care about deeply. And it wouldn’t be too crazy to give your special allies the best gifts ever, or compose love letters to them, or demonstrate in dramatic fashion how amazed you are by the beautiful truths about who they really are. This is a unique moment in your cycle, Aquarius — a time when it is crucial for you to express gratitude, devotion and even reverence for those who have helped you see what it means to be fully alive.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): In a letter to F. Scott Fitzgerald, Ernest Hemingway described his vision of paradise. It would have a trout stream that no one but him was permitted to fish in. He’d own two houses, one for his wife and children and one for his nine beautiful mistresses. There’d be a church where he could regularly confess his sins, and he’d have great seats at an arena where bull fights took place. From my perspective, this is a pretty vulgar version of paradise, but who am I to judge? I suggest you draw inspiration from Hemingway as you come up with your own earthy, gritty, funky fantasy of paradise. It’s an excellent time for you to get down to earth about your high ideals and dreamy hopes.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Sometimes I think too fast and too much. My logic gets sterile. My ideas become jagged and tangled. When this happens, I head off to Turtle Back Hill for a hike through the saltwater marsh. The trail loops around on itself, and I arrive back where I started in about 15 minutes.

Sometimes I keep walking, circumambulating four or five times. Going in circles like this seems to help me knit together my fragmented thoughts. Often, by the time I’m finished, my mind feels unified. I recommend you find your own version of this ritual, Aries. From what I can tell, you need to get rounder and softer.

“Lead us not into temptation, and deliver us from evil,” is a request that Christians make of God when they say the Lord’s Prayer. If we define “temptation” as an attraction to things that feel good even though they’re bad for you, this part of the prayer is perfectly reasonable.

But what if “temptation” is given a different interpretation? What if it means an attraction to something that feels pleasurable and will ultimately be healthy for you even though it initially causes disruptions? I suggest you consider experimenting with this alternative definition, Gemini. For now, whatever leads you into temptation could possibly deliver you from evil.

in your own life, Libra. It appears interesting, even attractive, from a distance. When you draw nearer, though, you may find problems. That doesn’t necessarily mean you should abandon it altogether. Maybe you can fix the mess so it’s as engaging up close as it is from far away.

not be fooled by their social masks — was strong. Remember?

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Not all darkness is bad. You know that. Sometimes you need to escape from the bright lights.

It can be restorative to sit quietly in the pitch blackness and drink in the mystery of the Great Unknown. The same is true for silence and stillness and aloneness. Now and then you’ve got to retreat into their protective sanctuary.

Dreaming big empty thoughts in the tranquil depths can heal you and recharge you. The magic moment has arrived for this kind of rejuvenation, Virgo.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Your power animal for the coming months is the Bateleur eagle of Africa. In the course of searching for its meals, it covers about 250 square miles every day. It thinks big. It has a spacious scope. I hope you get inspired by its example, Scorpio. In 2014, I’d love to see you enlarge the territory where you go hunting for what you want. Fate will respond favorably if you expand your ideas about how to gather the best allies and resources. As for this week, I suggest you get very specific as you identify the goals you will pursue in the coming months by exploring farther and wider.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In the movie Clueless, the character played by Alicia Silverstone describes someone as a “fullon Monet.” What she means is that the person in question is like a painting by the French Impressionist artist Claude Monet. “From far away, it’s OK,” says Silverstone. “But up close, it’s a big old mess.” You may still be at the far-away point in your evaluation of a certain situation

Everyone fudges the truth and hides the whole story now and then. What are your top three deceptions? Confess at Freewillastrology.com.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): “You get tragedy where the tree, instead of bending, breaks,” said the philosopher Ludwig Wittgenstein. But you don’t have to worry about that outcome, Cancerian. The storm might howl and surge, but it will ultimately pass. And although your tree may bend pretty far, it will not break. Two weeks from now, you won’t be mourning your losses, but rather celebrating your flexibility and resilience. Congratulations in advance!

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): It’s a perfect time to start reclaiming some of the superpowers you had when you were a child. What’s that you say? You didn’t have any superpowers? That’s not true. Before you entered adolescence, you could see things and know things and feel things that were off-limits, even unknown, to most adults. You possessed a capacity to love the world with wild purity. Your innocence allowed you to be in close touch with the intelligence of animals and the spirits of the ancestors. Nature was so vividly alive to you that you could hear its songs.

Smells were more intense. The dreams you had at night were exciting and consoling. Your ability to read people’s real energy — and

Tune in, log on, hear the music that matters to you. wyep.org

GO TO REALASTROLOGY.COM TO CHECK OUT ROB BREZSNY’S EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES AND DAILY TEXT-MESSAGE HOROSCOPES. THE AUDIO HOROSCOPES ARE ALSO AVAILABLE BY PHONE AT 1-877-873-4888 OR 1-900-950-7700

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CLASSES AIRLINE CAREERS begin here – Get trained as FAA certified Aviation Technician. Housing and Financial aid for qualified students.

Job placement assistance. Call Aviation Institute of Maintenance 877-492-3059 (AAN CAN) Find a new place to “LIVE” in City Paper!

OFFICIAL ADVERTISEMENT THE BOARD OF PUBLIC EDUCATION OF THE SCHOOL DISTRICT OF PITTSBURGH Sealed proposals shall be deposited at the, Administration Building, Room 251, 341 South Bellefield Avenue, Pittsburgh, Pa., 15213, on January 7, 2014, until 2:00 P.M., local prevailing time for: • Replace Swimming Pool Locker Room Lighting Langley, 2940 Sheraden Boulevard, 15204 Electrical Prime • Replace Cafeteria Lighting and Acoustical Treatment Greenfield, 1 Alger Street, 15207 Electrical and General Primes Project Manual and Drawings will be available for purchase on December 2, 2013 at Modern Reproductions (412-488-7700) 127 McKean Street, Pittsburgh, Pa., 15219 between 9:00 A.M. and 4:00 P.M. The cost of the Project Manual Documents is non-refundable. Project details and dates are described in each project manual.

We are an equal rights and opportunity school district.

Parent Hotline: 412-622-7920 www.pps.k12.pa.us

ADOPTION

ADOPTION

ADOPTION Art classes to Zoo Trips, and Everything in between, 1st baby will be our King/ Queen. 1-800-966-3065 Expenses Paid

PREGNANT? CONSIDERING ADOPTION? Call us first. Living expenses, housing, medical, and continued support afterwards.

Choose adoptive family of your choice.

Call 24/7. 877-362-2401 (AAN CAN)

PREGNANT? THINKING OF ADOPTION? Talk with caring agency specializing in matching Birthmothers with Families Nationwide.

LIVING EXPENSES PAID. Call 24/7 Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions.

866-413-6293. Void in Illinois/New Mexico/ Indiana (AAN CAN) Find your next place to “WORK” in City Paper!

ADOPTION Art classes to Zoo Trips, and Everything in between, 1st baby will be our King/Queen.

Expenses Paid

1-800-966-3065

SURROGATE MOTHERS WANTED Established Program Conducted By A Local Law Firm Seeks Compassionate, Loving Women To Carry Couple’s Biological Babies, Generous Compensation Paid To Those Women Who Qualify.

M. Lawrence Shields III Attorney At Law 412-221-0640 X 101

Advertise your GOODS in City Paper and reach over 300,000 readers per month. Now that’s SERVICE!

ANNOUNCEMENTS Become a friend of Gordon Shoes on Facebook for your chance to win great prizes and merchandise!

Facebook.com/GordonShoes

WORK HELP WANTED

HELP WANTED

Paid in Advance!!

Make up to $1000 a week mailing brochures from home!

Helping home workers since 2001! Genuine opportunity! No experience required. Start immediately! www.process-brochures.com (AAN CAN)

Help Wanted! make extra money in our free ever popular homemailer program, includes valuable guidebook! Start immediately! Genuine!

1-888-292-1120 www. easywork-fromhome. com (AAN CAN)

Call 412.316.3342 to advertise in City Paper.

Find your next place to “WORK” in City Paper!

HELP WANTED NAMASTE! Find a healthy balance of the mind, body and spirit with one of our massage therapists, yoga, or spa businesses!

WANTED! 36 PEOPLE to Lose Weight. 30-day money back guarantee. Herbal Program.

Also opportunity to earn up to $1,000 monthly. 1-800-492-4437

www.healthnutrition pittsburgh.com

VOLUNTEERS

Become a volunteer tutor and help an adult learn to read.

Contact Greater Pittsburgh Literacy Council at 412.393.7600 or gplc.org Open up a Life We have a waiting list of 200 adults who need your help.

There is light at the end of the tunnel.

Advertise Here Today!

CASH FOR CARS: Any Car/Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid.

We Come To You! Call For Instant Offer: 1-888-420-3808 www. cash4car.com (AAN CAN)

REHEARSAL Rehearsal Space starting @ $150/mo Many sizes available, no sec deposit, play @ the original and largest practice facility, 24/7 access, 412-403-6069 Wellness is a state that combines health & happiness. Make City Paper readers happy by advertising your health services in our “Wellness” section.

Santa has his Elves... but what’s your plan?

Find your next job in the City Paper’s “WORK” section.

To advertise your seasonal and holiday help wanted ads call the City Paper Classified Department at 412.316.3342

DISCLAIMER: ALTHOUGH MOST ADVERTISING IN PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER ARE LEGITIMATE BUSINESSES, PRIOR TO INVESTING MONEY OR USING A SERVICE LOCATED WITHIN ANY SECTION OF THE CLASSIFIEDS WE SUGGEST THE FOLLOWING PROCEDURE: ASK FOR REFERENCES & BUSINESS LICENSE NUMBER, OR CALL/WRITE: THE BETTER BUSINESS BUREAU AT 412-456-2700 / 300 SIXTH AVE., STE 100-UL / PITTSBURGH, PA 15222. REMEMBER: IF IT SOUNDS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE, IT USUALLY IS! 56

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.04/12.11.2013

STUDIES CLINICAL STUDIES Get the most for your money in CP Classifieds. We get great results. Call 412.316.3342

People with Current Cold Sore or Canker Sore needed for a Research study

CLINICAL STUDIES

(UPMC Oakland)

Looking to fill an open position? Advertise in City Paper’s “WORK” section and reach over 250,000 people who read CP classifieds!

This study of Herpes Simplex Virus-1 and Cognition is looking for individuals who experience cold sores, canker sores or other oral lesions.

DIABETES? Call Preferred Primary Care Physicians at

412-650-6155

Your ad could be here

412.316.3342

SLEEP RESEARCH STUDY

See what our clients are saying

for healthy adults ages 18-30 with good sleep. Participation involves fMRI scans, sleep monitoring, and includes spending a full weekday in our sleep lab. Compensation provided.

Call 412-383-2159 or visit veteranssleep.pitt.edu for more information

In the past two years, I’ve both the been very satisfied with response design of our ads and the I have to they evoke. When I know jects in advertise for research sub ately edi the 24-35 age group, I imm er. think of using the City Pap

Participation involves 2 visits each lasting 1.5-2 hours and the completion of cognitive assessments, donation of a blood sample, clinic assessment of the cold sore, a health and wellbeing survey, and a brief medical history questionnaire. You will be asked to complete these procedures twice, on two separate visits, three weeks apart.

Participants will be reimbursed $50 for each visit, for a total of $100.

Willing participants will also be asked to complete a magnetic resonance imaging scan (MRI) and further cognitive assessments. Participants will be reimbursed $100 for this portion of the study.

For more information, please call 412-246-6367

— Mary Beth Tedesco, CRNP, University of Pittsburgh

The PAREXEL Early Phase Unit, located at Harbor Hospital in Baltimore, MD is currently seeking Volunteers to participate in a

CLINICAL RESEARCH TRIAL to evaluate a new Investigational medication We are recruiting the following populations: • Healthy Non Smoking Females • Ages 18 – 55 • BMI 18.5 - 32 The study involves one screening visit, one in-house stay of 14 days / 13 nights and one outpatient visit.

If you qualify and complete the study you may receive up to $3,820 in compensation.

For more information, please visit our website

www.parexel.com/baltimore or contact us toll free at 1-877-61-STUDY or 1-877-617-8839 (Monday to Friday between 9 AM and 5 PM).

Please reference study # 214828

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Olive Garden When you’re here, you’re family.

Now Hiring for All Positions at:

Bethel Park Location

6000 Oxford Drive, Bethel Park Pa 15102

We’re looking for team oriented individuals with open availability and great attitudes!

www.panerabread.jobs

olivegarden.com/careers

Here’s a taste of our exceptional benefits: • flexible schedules • comprehensive training • meal discounts • paid vacation • medical/dental insurance • 401(k) plan • Management career advancement opportunities.

Three availability’s needed: • Daytime • Evening • Anytime Must have access to reliable transportation RGIS is the industry leader in inventory, merchandising, and workforce solutions.

We are assembling an Inventory Team to accurately & efficiently count clients’ merchandise This is a physical job that requires working on sales floors, in warehouses, and in stock rooms The ability to climb up and down ladders is a requirement

Apply online: olivegarden.com/careers No phone calls please!

Want to earn some extra money? Immediate Opportunities Available for inventory takers in Pittsburgh, Penn Hills, Washington, and all surrounding areas.

• No experience needed • $9.00 per hour • Flexible part-time hours • Paid training • Fast track paid program

If you are enthusiastic, highly motivated and looking for a new challenge, Apply at: www.rgis.com District 006, Pittsburgh RGIS is an equal opportunity employer

Join Our Team

www.rgis.com

www.TheKAG.com

and see what everyone is smiling about

Now Hiring CountryMeadows.com/ careers

Bakers • Associates Catering Coordinators Shift Supervisors Cafe Manager

Opportunities are available for all positions and advancement of your career is our focus!

Visit any cafe to apply in person or apply online at: panerabread.jobs

Over 200 cafes in Pittsburgh, West Virginia, Ohio, Kentucky, and Florida 58

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.04/12.11.2013

“When you love what you do, everything is better.”

Life advice from Brandi L. - co-worker since 2006

At Country Meadows, our customers make each day better for us, just as we make it better for them. We’ve been ranked as one of the Best Places to Work, and we focus on a culture of respect.

At Country Meadows, life gets better…for everyone.

Current Openings: Personal Care Home Care Housekeeping Dining /Culinary Floor Tech LPN

Excellent Benefits!

Apply online or call 412-257-7910

CountryMeadows.com/careers CountryMeadowsAtHome.com/careers EOE

NOW HIRING FOR

Display Sales Representative Sell ads, web, radio and more. Be a multi-media Sales Person If you have what it takes to sell, send you resume to Jessie Brock: jbrock@steelcitymedia.com NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE! EOE N E W S

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WELLNESS HEALTH AND WELLNESS Sneakers not meant to be in the box. New Balance Pittsburgh.

Oakland & Waterfront. www.lifestyleshoe.com

Zhangs Wellness Center

412-401-4110 $40/hr 322 Fourth Ave. ~ Downtown

M-F prkg free after 4pm Sat-Sun prkg free all day

MIND & BODY

Aming’s Massage Therapy TWO LOCATIONS 1190 Washington Pike, Bridgeville (across from Eat n’ Park)

412-319-7530 4972 Library Road, Bethel Park

(in Hillcrest Shopping Center)

412-595-8077

MIND & BODY

MIND & BODY

Therapeutic Massage Therapy Relief is just a call away.

Our licensed professional staff can assist with Fibromyalgia, Circulation, Low Back Pain, Muscle Spasms.

Shadyside Location

412-441-1185

Judy’s Oriental Massage GRAND OPENING!

FULL BODY MASSAGE $40/hr

$10 Coupon with this ad

4125 William Penn Hwy, Murrysville, PA 15668 Across the street from Howard Hanna’s

724-519-2950

Xin Sui Bodyworks Grand Opening

STAR Superior Chinese Massage Free Table Shower w/60min Open 10-10 Daily

1310 E. Carson St. 412-488-3951

$49.99/ hour Free Vichy Shower with 1HR or more body work (Body shower and Body Scrub) Essential Oil used at no extra charge

China Massage $50/HR Free Table Shower

2539 Monroeville Blvd Ste 200 Monroeville, Pa 15146 Next to Twin Fountain Plaza 412-335-6111

1788 Golden Mile Hwy Monroeville, PA 15146 Call for more information

724-519-7896

NOW IN SQUIRREL HILL!

massage Therapy

BAD BACK OR NECK PAIN?

Trigger point Deep tissue Swedish Reflexology BLOOMFIELD 412.683.2328 Xie LiHong’s WELLNESS CENTER

Chinese Bodyworks Walk-Ins Welcome 412-561-1104

Specializing in hand blown water and glass pipes and incense.

YOUR AD COULD BE IN

J&S GLASS

Water Pipes And Glass W lass For All Your Smoking Needs

THIS SPACE! call 412.316.3342

Pittsburgh’s Premier Smoke Shop 1918 Murray Ave 412-422-6361 or 561-665-0592 Student Discount w/valid ID Public Parking Located behind bldg

3225 W. Liberty Ave. • Dormont

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.04/12.11.2013

FOR TOBACCO USE ONLY

412.316.3342

JADE Wellness Center

Premiere Outpatient Drug and Alcohol Treatment Family Owned and Operated Treating: Alcohol, Opiates, Heroin and More

SUBOXONE TREATMENT Caring Help for Opiate Addiction

• Experienced, caring therapy and medical staff.

• Private, professional setting.

• Downtown office near public transportation and parking.

• Medication by prescription coverage or self-pay.

SUBOXONE TREATMENT

Immediate openings including pregnant opiate-dependent women. We accept Highmark, Fayette & Westmoreland County Medicaid (VBH) and self-paying clients.

WE SPECIALIZE IN

412.246.8965, ext. 9

Painkiller and Heroin Addiction Treatment

• SUBOXONE • VIVITROL Positive Recovery Solutions

- a new once a month injection for alcohol and opiate dependency

• Group and Individualized Therapy • NOW Treating Pregnant Women

NO WAIT LIST

Dedicated to improving the lives of those with addiction issues by utilizing modern advancements in medical, clinical and pharmacological modalities. ~ Suboxone© ~ Zubsolv© ~ Vivitrol© NOW TAKING PATIENTS

Accepts all major insurances and medical assistance

Call Today Toll Free 855-344-7501 Located at 730 Brookline Blvd.

Pittsburgh, PA. 15226

MONROEVILLE, PA

Let Us Help You Today!

Recovery Without Judgement™

CLOSE TO SOUTH HILLS, WASHINGTON, CANONSBURG, CARNEGIE, AND BRIDGEVILLE

Methadone - 412-255-8717 Suboxone - 412-281-1521 info@summitmedical.biz

Beaver County

Methadone - 724-857-9640 Suboxone - 724-448-9116 info@ptsa.biz +

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We treat: ~ Opiate Addiction ~ Heroin Addiction ~ And Other Drug

• INSURANCES ACCEPTED • DAY & EVENING APPOINTMENTS AVAILABLE

Pittsburgh

TA S T E

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SUBOXONE

Help is Available!

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Health Services

Problem with Opiates?

Prescription Medication or Heroin?

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Start Today!

Loose 25 pounds

by Valentine’s Day! Only $99 per month!

IMMEDIATE APPOINTMENTS AVAILABLE

412-380-0100 www.myjadewellness.com

Weight Loss Center of Pittsburgh

Next Day Appointments Available

412-221-1091 info@freedomtreatment.com

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LOCATIONS IN: Downtown Pgh, PA Bridgeville, PA ~ Butler, PA

IMMEDIATE OPENINGS

412.434.6700

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LIVE REAL ESTATE SERVICES

blogh.pghcitypaper.com

Clicking “reload” makes the workday go faster

ALL AREAS - ROOMMATES.COM. Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: http:// www.Roommates.com.

(AAN CAN)

STORAGE ABC SELF STORAGE25 x 60 storage or workspace $500 plus taxes, 12.5x40 $250 plus taxes. (2) locations Mckees Rocks & South Side. 412-403-6069

SOUTH FOR RENT

NAMASTE! Find a healthy balance of the mind, body and spirit with one of our massage therapists, yoga, or spa businesses!

EAST FOR RENT Morningside- Newly remod. sm. 4BR house, 2 full baths, off st prkg, no pets. 412-628-6154 Squirrel Hill Apt- Updated lg. 2BR, eq. kitc w/disposal and d/w.

Washing facilities and storage, off str prkg. $1,050+g&e Avl 1/1 Call Tony 412-849-8856

Southside- Immediate sublease available through May. 3BR/2.5 BA, garage, and private patio. $2,500/ month plus utilities.

Contact: info@littlearth.com or 412-471-0909

get your yoga on! give the gift of good health JLIW FHUWLÀFDWHV FDQ EH SXUFKDVHG RQOLQH DW

VFKRROKRXVH\RJD FRP

VWULS GLVWULFW VTXLUUHO KLOO QRUWK KLOOV

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.04/12.11.2013

JUST SAY “OKEY-DOKEY” {A POEM BY JIMMY CVETIC}

Sometimes even if you tell the truth Nobody’s going to believe you.

“Nasty” Cornelius had been coming to the gym for a quick minute And had a couple of fights under his trunks.

He was an on and off fighter More on than off.

He mostly had losses on bad decisions And some wins on bad decisions Depending on the lights and size of the card girls.

Anyway it didn’t matter much because The gym was his cathedral edral And the ring his confessional and He was staying out of jail.

We called Cornelius “Nate” for short hort But mostly everybody called him “Nasty.” sty.”

“Nasty Nate” because ause He’d always hit you below the belt.

It was just a bad habit That was hard to break You know like it’s harder to get permission ssion Than asking forgiveness. ness.

Anyway because of Nasty I’m now convinced nced They should legalize marijuana. uana.

You see one day he was hitting the e bag And I came over to teach him how to sit down on a punch. unch.

In fact, I put a pair of trunks on the e bag So he’d learn to hit above the belt.

He had on a hooded sweatshirt hirt With a pouch in the front. nt.

I told him, m, “Nasty Nate you got to step tep to the left And let your weight shift.

You got to hit from your center slightly below the belly button.”

I tapped him on his belly And it was then I felt a lump in his sweatshirt.

I reached in and sure as blue sky Has a thundercloud I pulled out a bag of weed.

I said, “What’s this, a bag of oregano?”

Nasty said, as quick as a low blow, “It’s not mine coach I’m holding it for a friend.”

I took the weed, put it in my back pocket.

“Get dressed, Nasty, You’re out of the gym as of right now And forever.

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Do not pass go.

Adios, amigo.

Di di mau.”

Nasty said, “For real, coach, the weed ain’t mine.”

I said, “Please, you’re hurting my ears.”

He walked back to the locker room And a couple of the kids came running over.

“Come “Com on, coach, Nasty Nas is part of the family.

You can’t kick him out the gym.”

One On kid said, “He’s “He probably telling the truth.

The weed probably was someone else’s.”

I snapped, “You must have been hit harder sn than I thought. tha Get back to jumping rope or you can help carry his gym bag out the door.”

Nasty walked slowly out of the locker room, Nast “Give me one more chance, coach.”

I said, “Give me one good reason.” He said, “Because “Becau I’m like your son And I ain’t got no place to go.” a I said, said “I only asked for one good reason.

You can stay, but I’m going to have you pee in a cup Every full moon and Eve You’re on probation forever and one day.

You’ Get back and get dressed And it’s your night to empty the spit bucket.”

I locked the gym and Threw the marijuana in my glove compartment.

Two weeks later I was stopped by the police for Running a stop sign.

The man in blue asked for my driver’s license and owner’s card.

I opened the glove compartment as sure as A lie will follow a sin The weed fell out and What came out of my mouth was, “It’s not mine, officer. I’m holding it for a friend.”

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ROCK THE RIVER PACKAGE $479 PER COUPLE

SALES ARE

LIMITED

• DINNER FOR TWO • LIVE ENTERTAINMENT BY CITYSCAPE • OVERNIGHT ACCOMMODATIONS • NEW YEAR’S DAY CHAMPAGNE BRUNCH Please call 412-231-7777 or visit RIVERSCASINO.COM to purchase your package by December 26, 2013.

Refund policy applicable. Ask for details.

GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER. MUST BE 21 YEARS OR OLDER TO BE ON RIVERS CASINO PROPERTY.