March 13, 2013

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WWW.PGHCITYPAPER.COM | 03.13/03.20.2013

KNOCK-DOWN DRAG-OUT: DRAG PAGEANT ATTRACTS CONTROVERSY 06


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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.13/03.20.2013


EVENTS 3.16 – 8pm SOUND SERIES: VALGEIR SIGURðSSON Tickets $15/$12 Members & students FREE parking in The Warhol lot.

3.21 – 8pm SOUND SERIES: MASON BATES AND IONSOUND Co-presented with The Pittsburgh Symphony Orchestra Tickets $18/$15 Members, students & PSO Members FREE parking in The Warhol lot Media sponsor 91.3 FM WYEP

Young Jean Lee’s Theater Company: UNTITLED FEMINIST SHOW

3.23 – 8pm

Saturday, March 30, 2013 / New Hazlett Theater / 8pm / Co-presented with the New Hazlett Theater Young Jean Lee’s Theater Company returns for its fourth installment in the Off the Wall series, following memorable performances demonstrating Lee’s subversive style and acerbic wit, dealing with Asian American stereotypes (Songs of the Dragons Flying to Heaven), African American culture (THE SHIPMENT), and last year’s dark comedy about life’s futility (We’re Gonna Die). In Lee’s latest experiment around gender politics, UNTITLED FEMINIST SHOW, features six charismatic stars of the downtown theater, dance, cabaret, and burlesque worlds who come together to invite the audience on an exhilaratingly irreverent, nearly-wordless celebration of a fluid and limitless sense of identity.

SOUND SERIES: NOW ENSEMBLE Co-presented with Music on the Edge, University of Pittsburgh Department of Music Advance Tickets $15/$10 students; Door Tickets $20/$15 students FREE parking in The Warhol lot

UNTITLED FEMINIST SHOW was co-commissioned through the Spalding Gray Award consortium including The Andy Warhol Museum, Performance Space 122, Walker Arts Center and On the Boards.

4.12 – 8pm SOUND SERIES: DEERHOOF, WITH SPECIAL GUEST PEOPLE GET READY Tickets $18/$15 Members & students Media sponsor: 91.3FM WYEP

full subscription (7 performances) $123/$98 Members & students

seating is limited for most performances, so advance purchase is strongly suggested

single tickets

performances may contain adult subject matter and strong language

$25/$20 Members & students

Funding for the Off the Wall series was provided by the Quentin and Evelyn T. Cunningham Fund of The Pittsburgh Foundation. The Andy Warhol Museum receives state arts funding support through a grant from the Pennsylvania Council on the Arts, a state agency funded by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania; the National Endowment for the Arts, a federal agency and The Heinz Endowments. Further support is provided by the Allegheny Regional Asset District.

For tickets call 412.237.8300 or visit warhol.org.

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.13/03.20.2013


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Director of Advertising JESSIE AUMAN-BROCK Senior Account Executives TOM FAULS, PAUL KLATZKIN, JEFF MARTIN, SANDI MARTIN, JEREMY WITHERELL Advertising Representatives MATT HAHN, JESSE HERRLE, CHRIS JURAN, SCOTT KLATZKIN, JUSTIN MATASE, EMILY POZZUTO Classified Manager ANDREA JAMES Classified Advertising Representative TERRANCE P. MARTIN Radio Sales Manager CHRIS KOHAN National Advertising Representative VMG ADVERTISING 1.888.278.9866 OR 1.212.475.2529

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{PUBLISHER} STEEL CITY MEDIA

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GENERAL POLICIES: Contents copyrighted 2013 by Steel City Media. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written permission of the publisher. The opinions expressed in Pittsburgh City Paper are those of the author and not necessarily of Steel City Media. LETTER POLICY: Letters, faxes or e-mails must be signed and include town and daytime phone number for confirmation. We may edit for length and clarity. DISTRIBUTION: Pittsburgh City Paper is published weekly by Steel City Media and is available free of charge at select distribution locations. One copy per reader; copies of past issues may be purchased for $3.00 each, payable in advance to Pittsburgh City Paper. FIRST CLASS MAIL SUBSCRIPTIONS: Available for $175 per year, $95 per half year. No refunds.

became the creature that 36 “We could adapt the landscape to us, rather than a creature that had to adapt to the landscape.” — Chip Walter on human evolution as discussed in his book Last Ape Standing

{REGULAR & SPECIAL FEATURES} NEWS OF THE WEIRD BY CHUCK SHEPHERD 16 EVENTS LISTINGS 40 SAVAGE LOVE BY DAN SAVAGE 48 FREE WILL ASTROLOGY BY ROB BREZSNY 50 CROSSWORD PUZZLE BY BEN TAUSIG 52 N E W S

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INCOMING

“EVEN WHEN HE TRIES TO DO SOMETHING RIGHT, IT CANCELS EVERYTHING OUT.”

Language Lessons: Locals find opportunities teaching English in Korea (March 6) It’s a viable short-term option, especially for people who want to see the world but couldn’t afford to study abroad. In recent years, though, the market in Korea has soured for older, experienced teachers who price themselves out of jobs because schools only want to pay young, cheap ones. — Web comment from “Pennsylvasia”

Party Favors: The delicate art of seeking the Democratic committee endorsement (March 6) There are plenty of other endorsements that can be cobbled together — Stonewall, Labor Council, 14th Ward Club, etc. They carry great weight among their constituencies and can counterbalance the party’s endorsement. — Web comment from “Bob Moose”

DRAGGED DOWN? Promoter wants to bring drag shows to a wider audience, but many worry whether he’s the guy to do it

Political Spin: No Ravenstahl puts a new twist on the mayoral primary and the city’s future (March 6) Sorry, but Mike Lamb is not “new leadership.” He’s been in the game as long as anybody, started his political career in 1992 in the [prothonotary’s] office, took it over in 2000, became city controller in 2008, and his dad was a state legislator for 15 years. — Web comment from “Bob Veale”

Steelers release James Harrison knowing they could sign Manti Te’o with Monopoly money. — March 10 tweet from “The Fake ESPN” (@thefakeespn)

Wes Ludwig. Remember the name. He’s running for Mayor of Pittsburgh apparently. — March 11 tweet from “Tyler Ball” (@tylerball65)

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{BY LAUREN DALEY}

P

ITTSBURGH’S DRAG scene has come

a long way. On most nights of the week, enthusiasts don’t have to go far to catch a local performance. Bars like the Blue Moon, Cattivo, Brillobox and There Ultra Lounge all feature drag shows, many on a regular basis. In recent years, that scene has been sustained by performers like Marsha Monster Mellow and institutions like OUTrageous Bingo — and it’s been popularized nationally by local performers like Sharon Needles and Alaska Thunderfuck, who broke into the mainstream thanks to RuPaul’s Drag Race. Needles’ winning performance on the reality-TV show last year earned her a city-council proclamation. Yet a Johnstown-based promoter/ activist, John DeBartola, is raising concerns that he might damage the scene’s hard-won credibility — even as he pledges to elevate it even further. DeBartola is president of the Keystone Alliance/Gaylife Newsletter, which annually produces a drag pageant. This September, he’s serving as executive director for the “Miss Pittsburgh Public Access TV Pageant.” Along with fellow eventpromoter and owner Brian Tee, DeBartola

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.13/03.20.2013

{PHOTO BY HEATHER MULL}

Drag queen Kitty Klottsalot performs at the Blue Moon.

will hold the pageant itself this spring: The city’s public-access television station, Pittsburgh Community Television, will offer viewers a chance to catch the drama from home in a broadcast this fall. DeBartola says he intends not just to promote local drag performers, but to

raise the standards of local drag — in part by requiring contestants to disclose any criminal records on their applications. “We always require that our contestants be of high moral standing,” DeBartola explains. “You’re representing the GLBT community and our organization. CONTINUES ON PG. 08


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DRAGGED DOWN?, CONTINUED FROM PG. 06

It doesn’t mean we’ll disclose the information. But we don’t want it to fall back on us.” But some veteran performers on the local drag scene say that if anything threatens the community’s reputation, it’s DeBartola himself. While some credit him as a beacon in Pennsylvania’s less gay-friendly areas, others note a string of disputes surrounding his shows. “He puts out so much negative energy that even when he tries to do something right, it cancels everything out,” says Mellow. It’s “fine and dandy if you want to represent the community and educate about drag,” she adds, “but you have to be respectable.”

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PITTSBURGH DOESN’T lack for pageants: Promoter and drag king J.J. Cox notes that there are plenty of titleholders locally for regional and national drag pageants, including himself. “We’re not Chicago, we’re not New York, we’re not L.A. But to have the amount of drag and the amount of titled performers in our city, I think that’s significant,” Cox says. Pageants — which consist of multiple categories ranging from evening wear to talent and, usually, question-andanswer sessions — allow a performer to build a reputation while honing performance skills. “It’s a vehicle,” says Cox. “It’s something you can use to elevate yourself.” DeBartola says the Keystone Alliance/Gaylife Newsletter has produced pageants for 14 years. And its pageants have attracted “hundreds” of applicants, says co-producer Tee. Proceeds often benefit gay-friendly nonprofits — one reason Tee says “the title can’t be granted lightly.” But Keystone organizers say they try to make their pageants accessible to beginners as well as to veteran performers. “When you’re first starting out, you’re not always the best,” says Christian Diane, a drag queen from Cumberland, Md., who’s currently the newsletter queen, and co-host of this year’s pageant. “You need practice to get better. We have helped people along.” Even some of DeBartola’s critics acknowledge the role he plays in areas outside of Pittsburgh. “In that area, for a very long time, [DeBartola] was the go-to person for drag,” says Kitty Klottsalot, an Altoonabased queen who performs at the Blue

{PHOTO COURTESY OF JOHN DEBARTOLA}

John DeBartola and Christian Diane

Moon in Lawrenceville. “You have to give credit where credit is due. John DeBartola did give me my first shot at doing drag. Granted, it was for free.” Klottsalot participated in the Miss Keystone Alliance pageant and won the title for 2011-12. But her relationship with DeBartola has since soured. As a winner, she agreed to do a free benefit and march in the Pittsburgh Pride parade. But when she got a paid gig, she backed out of marching. Klottsalot says such occurrences are “standard” in the business, as long as ample notice is provided. But DeBartola says Klottsalot reneged on her contractual obligations as a titleholder or work with other performers, and stripped her of her crown. DeBartola has clashed with other queens as well. “It’s been nothing but drama,” says South Side drag queen Akasha LeStat, who was also stripped of her title. LeStat says the organization tried to stipulate how much she could get paid to perform at other venues. D e Ba r t ol a t o ok a no t h e r f o rm e r title-holder, South Hills-based Jezelle Van Cartier, to court in a dispute over money, a case that he says led to the background-check requirements. Van Cartier has a criminal background and is on probation, something that concerned DeBartola when it came to collecting fundraising money. Their argument played out on television courtroom show Judge Mathis. Keystone did not receive the money it

“WE ALWAYS REQUIRE THAT OUR CONTESTANTS BE OF HIGH MORAL STANDING.”

CONTINUES ON PG. 10

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.13/03.20.2013


public transit

Our region will go where public transit takes it. At Port Authority, the nearly quarter-million people who ride our buses and LRT's every weekday are commuters and shoppers, students and senior citizens. It's not just about convenience. It's about this region's economic future. Over half the people who work in Downtown Pittsburgh take public transit. And Port Authority connects our growing population of seniors to the outside world. We’d all like to see this region go to the next level of growth and prosperity. And it's a goal we can easily reach‌with a strong, viable public transportation system to get us there.

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DRAGGED DOWN?, CONTINUED FROM PG. 08

requested but Van Cartier was ordered to return her crown. “I would say John DeBartola gives drag an incredibly bad name,” says Klottsalot. “The Pittsburgh [drag] community is very well united that John DeBartola needs to be stayed away from.” City Paper spoke to other observers who were wary of going on the record. But while DeBartola has been outspoken on LGBT issues — he called on Somerset County to offer same-sex benefits to county employees, for example — critics note that his advocacy has sometimes taken troubling turns. In 2010, for example, DeBartola’s group gave a “Spirit Award” to state Sen. John H. Eichelberger Jr., a Blair County Republican who has backed a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage. DeBartola says Eichelberger tried to help resolve a longrunning dispute with Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG), a nationally known gay-rights advocacy group. And some veteran queens say they won’t perform in part because DeBartola’s shows often get mired in drama and threats of dethroning. “It’s an embarrassment to the community,” says Mellow. “It’s he-said, shesaid bullshit.” DEBARTOLA AND other pageant organizers

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.13/03.20.2013

say such complaints are misdirected. They ask a lot of their contestants, he says, be-

cause they are representing a community through speaking engagements, news interviews and benefit shows. His isn’t the only pageant that requires a background check. At Miss Gay Pennsylvania America — a regional competition for the national Miss Gay America — contestants are required to reveal their criminal histories. Promoter Jeff Weary says their participation is based on a case-by-case basis. “They can be prohibited [from competing] depending on what it is, how long ago it was and under what circumstances,” says Weary, who’s been running the pageant for 23 years. Histories of theft, for example, are usually prohibited. “Drag is very expensive and if you’re in dressing rooms and there’s jewelry — that [charge] could hinder” participation. Being stripped of one’s crown, he says, is “rare” in the Gay America series, Weary says. The major requirement for participants, he adds, is “Don’t cause us any problems.” Miss Gay America has a better reputation as a pageant, many performers note. For one thing, a title comes with the promise of paid bookings. But DeBartola and his backers make no apologies for having high expectations. “Every time you have a chance to present a positive image of yourself and the organization,” says Diane, “it helps people understand the GLBT community.” L D A L E Y @ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

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District 6 council race becoming as much about how, and not what, things are done {BY AMYJO BROWN} SHE’S BACK. Former Pittsburgh City Coun-

cilor Tonya Payne, who lost a re-election campaign against newcomer Daniel Lavelle four years ago, is fighting for the seat again, winning Sunday’s contest for the Allegheny County Democratic Committee endorsement for the District 6 City Council seat. Payne followed that 2009 loss with another — a 2010 campaign for state legislature. For the past year, the 48-yearold Uptown resident has held a job at the Pittsburgh Water and Sewer Authority. But “I can’t really effect change or make things happen if I’m sitting on the bench,” says Payne. “And that’s what I feel like I’m doing right now.” The endorsement contest was close: Payne beat Lavelle by just eight votes, 4537. And while Payne has long been popular with party foot-soldiers who vote in the endorsement, Lavelle’s total was a marked improvement over the 12 votes he received in 2009. That “shows the significant level of support Lavelle has built among the committee members,” says Khari Mosley, Lavelle’s campaign manager. Sunday’s tight battle may be a sign of things to come, as the two again face one another in the upcoming primary election. There is also a third challenger for the seat, Franco “Dok” Harris, a 33-year-old with the name recognition and resources that come with being g the son of former Pittsburgh g

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.13/03.20.2013

{PHOTO BY AMYJO BROWN}

North Side resident Corey Carrington campaigns for incumbent Daniel Lavelle Sunday afternoon.

Steelers running back Franco Harris. Like Payne and Hill resident Lavelle, Harris has strong ties to District 6, which encompasses parts of the North Side, Downtown, Uptown, the Hill and Oakland. Harris grew up on the North Side, though he’s a Downtown resident now, and is courting the Downtown constituency in particular and counting on his fresh outlook to help drive his h candidacy. “It’s a fairly ugly race” between Lavelle and a Payne, he says. Top on the list of priorities cited by all candidates for District 6 is economic develca opment and balancing it with the needs of o low-income residents, particularly on the l Hill and in Manchester. Development of the former site of the Civic Arena will also be a pressing issue: Within the next fouryear council term, the Pittsburgh Penguins will face deadlines for developing the site under an agreement with the city and the neighborhood. “We’re facing a time when we have to be able to negotiate and interact with private interests, government interests and neighborhood interests in a way that is productive,” says Marimba Milliones, executive director of the Hill District Community Development Corp. The Hill isn’t alone in that respect.

Downtown is also facing growing pains, says Jeremy Waldrup, president and CEO of the Pittsburgh Downtown Partnership. Over the past eight years, the number of people living Downtown has increased 30 percent, he says. “Out of that stems one of Downtown’s biggest challenges,” he says. “How do you integrate residential life in a high-density [commercial business district]?” As the campaign moves forward, Lavelle’s challengers are focusing on differences in style, targeting Lavelle’s quieter approach to politicking. “The community had their voice, and the community was empowered to use their voice, and they did” when she was in office, Payne says. “That doesn’t happen now.” “Daniel is quiet on the city council,” Harris says. “We need a tenacious fighter. Quiet does not get things done.” Lavelle says the district’s improvement speaks for itself. Lavelle is board vice-chair of the Urban Redevelopment Authority, and he cites his role in helping to revive the Hill’s stalled Shop ’n’ Save grocery store project. Started under Payne’s tenure on city council, construction halted last fall when the project ran out of funding amid concerns about mismanagement. Under new leadership at the Hill House Association, construction is underway again. “Loud voices don’t always get you what you want,” says Gail Felton, a 5th ward committee member. “Daniel speaks when Daniel needs to speak.” Other committee members, however, say they like Payne’s warmer, more familiar style. “She genuinely cares about all the people who live in the district,” says Marlene Russell, who chairs the 5th Ward committee. But while Payne has the party behind her, Lavelle received the endorsement of the Allegheny County Labor Council last week. He also should enjoy the benefits of incumbency, which often include fundraising prowess. County records do not show a recent campaign-finance filing by Lavelle, and a city financialdisclosure form filed in January indicated less than $10,000 in campaign funds, but his campaign says he has raised roughly $75,000. Payne and Harris have yet to start raising money, they say. “It’s very hard to go against the incumbent,” Payne says. But with the committee endorsement in her pocket, “It’s a winnable campaign, most definitely.”

“IT’S A FAIRLY UGLY RACE.”

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NEWS OF THE WEIRD {BY CHUCK SHEPHERD}

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A Verizon risk team, looking for data breaches on a client’s computers, discovered that one company software developer was basically idle for many months, yet remained productive — because he had outsourced his projects to a Chinese software developer who would do all the work and send it back. The employee earned several hundred thousand dollars a year, according to a January Los Angeles Times report, but paid the Chinese worker only about $50,000. The risk team eventually learned that sensitive company information was flowing to and from Chinese terminals, leading the company to suspect hackers, but that traffic was merely the U.S. employee (obviously, “ex-employee” now) sending and receiving his workload. The U.S. man showed up for work every day, but spent his time leisurely web-surfing.

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One of Britain’s most famous “madams” announced in January that she was coming out of retirement to set up a brothel exclusively catering to disabled people and the terminally ill. An ordinary brothel would be illegal in the town of Milton Keynes (45 miles from London), but Becky Adams insists that the government could not shut hers down without illegally discriminating against the disabled.

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Advances in the Service Sector: (1) In January, the Japanese marketing firm Wit Inc. began hiring “popular” young women (judged by the extent of their “social network” contacts), at the equivalent of $121 a day,

to walk around with advertising stickers on their thighs. (The stickers would be placed on the erotic “zettai ryouiki” — the Japanese mystical area between the hem of a short skirt and the top of long socks.) The women must be prepared to endure men hovering closely to read the ads. (2) According to news reports in November, New York City physician Jack Berdy was doing a brisk business administering Botox injections (at up to $800) to poker players who were hoping to prevent facial expressions that might tip their hands.

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London’s The Independent reported in January that Dean Kamen (who famously invented the Segway, a standing, batterypowered scooter) had developed, along with a Pennsylvania medical team, what appears to work as a “reverse feeding tube” that will vacuum out up to 30 percent of any food in the stomach before it is digested and converted into calories. After installation of the stomach “port,” the diner could operate the device without daily medical help.

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Scientists from Sweden’s Lund University, reporting in a recent issue of Current Biology, explored the burning question of why dung beetles appear to be “dancing” on the tops of the dung balls they roll away. The answer is that the beetles need to roll their treasures away from the heap as quickly as possible (lest competitors swipe them) and that they can best maintain a straight line away by celestial navigation. To test the hypothesis, researchers actually outfitted some beetles

S E N D YO U R W E IRD N E W S TO WE IR DNE WS @ E ART HL I N K . N E T O R WWW. NE WS O F T HE WE I R D. C OM

with tiny visors to block their view of the sky, and those beetles mostly rolled their balls in irregular routes, whereas the sky-searching beetles moved in straight lines.

included a fine of the equivalent of about $8 for being late and a limit of two minutes per toilet break.

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Willie Merriweather, 53, was detained in February by police in Aiken, S.C., after an employment agency reported that, when he was sitting for an interview, he exposed himself (allegedly telling the interviewer that “it fell out,” that he “must have forgotten” to zip his pants). Police said Merriweather had been accused of a similar incident at a different employment agency a few days earlier.

Japanese researchers learned recently that a species of sea slug may lose its penis after copulating, but then grow another one and use it the next time the occasion arises. Writing in the British journal Biology Letters, the scientists also found that the slugs have both male and female organs and in effect copulate with each other through a simultaneous hookup. A final breathtaking finding of the team was that the sea slugs’ penis has the ability to remove competitors’ sperm from the female openings of its mate.

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In the Czech Republic, per-capita beer consumption is twice that in the United States, and competition is such that some beers are priced lower than any other beverage, including water. (The brewery Pizensky Prazdroj delivers beer in tanker trucks that in the U.S. might deliver gasoline, and delivers it to pubs’ storage tanks just as U.S. gas station have storage tanks.) Recently, concerned about overconsumption, the country’s health minister proposed to prohibit restaurants and bars from offering a beer as the lowest-priced drink, per ounce.

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In January, about 1,000 workers at Shanghai’s Shinmei Electric Co. held 18 managers captive at the plant from Friday morning until nearly midnight on Saturday in protest of recent employee rules. The workers dispersed when parent-company officials promised to reconsider the policies, which

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In Cottages Row, England, firefighters were called in January when a metal lamppost was reported as smoking because of an electrical short, which was discovered when a Labrador retriever lifted his leg. That species is regarded as quite intelligent, but the dog, after being knocked back by the shock, moments later attempted to engage the lamppost a second time, with the same result.

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A 31-year-old woman, seven months pregnant with twins, suffered a heart attack arguably because St. Thomas More Hospital in Canon City, Colo., delayed in treating her. The woman and the twins died, and the family is suing church-affiliated Catholic Health Initiatives, the owner of the hospital. CHI’s lawyers, until January, were defending the malpractice lawsuit as to the twins’ death by using Colorado law, in which a “person” is not created until birth. After church officials in Colorado and the Vatican learned of CHI’s strategy, they ordered it abandoned, in that it is, of course, contrary to the teachings of the church.

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.13/03.20.2013

THE UGLY DOG SALOON

VANDERGRIFT


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o f G t o o P l d at these e h t Find St. S t. P Patty atty’s D Day ay Special S pecial M Menu enu Heated ted Rooftop Deck Open • Live M Music $3 Green Miller Lites • $5 Guinness Pints OPEN 9AM-2AM Located in Downtown Pittsburgh

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.13/03.20.2013

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ST. PADDY’S DAY HEADQUARTERS Green Beer | Irish Stew | Sheppard’s Pie Corn Beef & Cabbage | Guinness Get your official t-shirt - $15 Open at 10am • 949 LIBERTY AVE.


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Come Celebrate St. Patrick’s Day with Sieb’s!

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We’d like to thank the Irish for chemistry, literature, Guinness, and U2. No Leprechauns were harmed for this event. 20

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.13/03.20.2013


DE

SI

the

ON

“CRISPY PUB CHIPS” WERE UNIFORMLY BROWNED AND CRISP, AND ADDICTIVELY DELICIOUS

ERIN GO BREAD {BY AL HOFF} Celebrating St. Patrick’s Day too often means wearing a lot tacky headgear made in China and consuming vast quantities of beer of any national origin. Even food choices have been reduced to the ridiculous: green bagels and grocery-store cupcakes slathered in green icing. Some venues trot out a “traditional” loaf of Irish soda bread. But heed the ingredients list: Soda bread is classic “poor people’s food,” made from cheap, available ingredients, and designed primarily to be filling. Thus, traditional bread should not include such exotic ingredients as lemon flavoring or chemistry-lab additives like high-fructose corn syrup. A basic loaf is made from simply: flour, salt, baking soda and soured milk (or buttermilk). It was the advent of commercially available bicarbonate of soda in the 19th century made this yeast-less bread possible. Over the years, soda bread has migrated toward more of a tea cake, with the addition of currants (or raisins), caraway seeds, eggs and more luxurious add-ins such as lemon zest or sugary toppings. There are myriad recipes out there, but a good starter recipe can be found at www.jamesbeard.org. Authenticity was important to the late cook and food historian James Beard, and his recipe doubles down on old-school by calling for whole-wheat flour. But he also allows for white flour, as well as the inclusion of fruit and nuts. This is an easy-to-make loaf — you only need a bowl, spoon and an oven. And if you must get blotto, this dry, salty, hearty bread is a good base. AHOFF@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

FriedFish

Report

OUR LADY OF VICTORY MARONITE CATHOLIC CHURCH 1000 Lindsay Road, Scott Township 412-278-0841 Fridays during Lent (except Good Friday) Thin, flaky fish coated in panko is just the start; try Lebanese side dishes like lubia bi zeit (green beans with tomatoes). When we visited, falafel wraps were on offer, too.

IRISH PUB GRUB

{PHOTOS BY HEATHER MULL}

{BY ANGELIQUE BAMBERG + JASON ROTH}

P

OPULAR IMAGES of Irish culture seem

divided between familial bonds and drinking, except, of course, for when they’re combined. Sieb’s Pub, in the North Hills, is a family-run bar and restaurant whose sign proclaims “Love, Loyalty and Friendship,” doubling down on the Irish iconography with both a shamrock and a Claddagh ring (which itself is said to represent those three virtues). Walking in, we weren’t sure at first whether our family would feel welcome: We were in a big bar area, dominated by TVs and Hiberniana, off the lobby. But a smiling server brought us through the bar to the dining room, a brightly lit space with plaid wallpaper, plaques with folksy sayings on the walls, and tables that doubled as scrapbooks of the Siebert family. The tabletop at each booth was essentially a giant shadow box, filled with memorabilia: one of sports of the North Hills (including an old Pony League baseball and some antique team photos), another displaying tchotchkes from a recent trip to the Grammys. Our

Sieb’s shepherd’s pie

table documented the musical life that preceded this, filled as it was with pictures, programs and newspaper clippings of the Bel Airs, evidently the teen band of owner Kenneth Siebert. We found these time capsules a welcome change from ubiquitous stock pictures of old Pittsburgh or the Auld Sod.

SIEB’S PUB 3382 Babcock Blvd., North Hills. 412-364-8511 HOURS: Daily 11 a.m.-2 a.m. PRICES: Appetizers $5-8; salads and sandwiches $8-12; entrees $10-18 LIQUOR: Full bar

Sieb’s kitchen pairs pub grub with Irish fare, a menu section that’s recently been expanded. Overall, it is, as Angelique describes the German cooking of her own forebears, brown food: Green, that most Celtic of colors, was limited to the (iceberg) salads and the (overcooked, underseasoned) vegetable of the day. Authentic or not, it’s certainly typical of

Irish fare in America, and we set aside any high-falutin’ notions of a healthy, plant-based diet to dig in. Our first serving of potatoes arrived in the form of “Crispy Pub Chips,” thick slices fried deep-brown and flavored with garlic and parmesan. These were addictively delicious — even the potato-chip resisters at our table found themselves reaching back for more — and uniformly browned and crisp, with no soggy or blackened specimens in a generously sized basket. Next up came a rather less-Irish item, fried pierogies. Again, they were uniformly toasty brown, but this resulted in the wrappers becoming tough cases rather than crispy shells for their fluffy potato-and-cheese interiors. A fine distinction, perhaps, but one that made the difference between dividing the last pierogie to share and leaving it uneaten on the plate. Too-salty butter-fried onions didn’t help much. A pleasing cross between modern trends and classically Irish flavors came in the form of corned-beef sliders. Tender, griddle-warmed beef was sandwiched CONTINUES ON PG. 22

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IRISH PUB GRUB, CONTINUED FROM PG. 21

between split halves of superb little rye rolls and seasoned with tangy dijonnaise. A stack of these would make a fine St. Patrick’s centerpiece. New to Sieb’s menu, bangers-andmash ought to become a popular dish. The mild sausages were split and grilled, then served atop creamy mashed potatoes amid a rich gravy that was deeply seasoned without being spicy, and that featured a consistency well balanced between thick and thin. This was a comfortable classic, well executed.

Sieb’s Rob Siebert drawing Guinness.

Guinness beef pot pie was much less successful, with beef that was tender but a touch dry, indifferently cut vegetables and a thin gravy that offered no hint of the rich stout supposedly forming its base. The crust on top was also generic. The best news was more potatoes — a few hunks of redskin reposed at the bottom of the bowl. One non-Irish item was serviceable, bordering on satisfying. Sieb’s burgers are half-pounders, “hand-packed.” This term from the menu, unfortunately, accurately conveyed the too-dense beef that wasn’t bad, but failed to impress on any level: It was neither juicy nor charred, and far from tender. We did like the bacon and Swiss topping, and applauded the unusual but wholly appropriate choice of a soft pretzel bun, as it was hearty enough to hold the substantial patty. The side of fries was a cut above bar-average, thick-cut but fluffy within and slightly crisp without. We liked Sieb’s friendly, family-restaurant vibe, and its Irish-inflected pub grub is more than good enough to accompany a night of pint-hoisting. If only hops counted as a vegetable. INF O @PGH C IT YPAPE R . C O M

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.13/03.20.2013

On the RoCKs

{BY HAL B. KLEIN}

WELL ROOTED Italian winemaking family transplants its craft to Pittsburgh

Tucked into the rolling hills just north of Pittsburgh is a family winery that blends Italian traditions with Pennsylvania terroir. Members of Narcisi family, which still operates wineries in Europe, immigrated to Pittsburgh from Abruzzo, Italy, in the early 1900s. According to owner and head winemaker Denny Narcisi, the family started selling bottles of wine to friends and neighbors shortly after arriving here. “After our family settled in this area, they thought we should have our winery here, too,” he says. That winery, however, remained a word-of-mouth operation — based in Sharpsburg and later Corapolis — for decades. In 2001, Narcisi opened the current Gibso Gibsonia location, which also supports a restaurant and banquet hall. Mr. Narcisi Narcis is as proud of his Pennsylvania roots as he is of his Italian heritage, heritag so he requires that all his grapes be sourced gr either at the winery or in the Lake Erie region. re While the t grapes are cultivated locally, inspiration comes from fro Mr. Narcisi’s annual visits vis to Italy. “That’s where I learn everything. I le take a lot of notes,” he says. For example, a cousin ex introduced introduce him to a soft, refreshing refreshin style of rosé bottled under the th name Brezza Marina. “This bottle is very similar to what we had in Italy,” he says. He also als looked to Italian tradition for his Chardonnay. There, the grapes barely kiss oak — a sharp contrast to the wood-forward California style. The result is a minerally wine with just a hint of butter and cream. Perhaps surprisingly, one of the most enjoyable Narcisi wines is German in origin. The winery’s Riesling is delicate and floral, probably because Riesling grapes are better suited to the Lake Erie region than Merlot or Chardonnay grapes. Still, don’t look for a large shift in influence. “We’ve been doing this for 500 years,” says Mr. Narcisi, as he pours a glass of “Stella,” a tart and plumy blend of Cabernet Sauvignon and Merlot grapes. “It’s in our family’s blood.” INFO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

4578 Gibsonia Road, Gibsonia. 724-444-4744 or narcisiwinery.com


THE FOLLOWING DINING LISTINGS ARE RESTAURANTS RECOMMENDED BY CITY PAPER FOOD CRITICS

Little

ANGKO STR TRIIP HE S TH P N T IIN

DINING LISTINGS KEY

AUTHENTIC THAI CUISINE

J = Cheap K = Night Out L = Splurge E = Alcohol Served F = BYOB

ASPINWALL GRILLE. 211 Commercial Ave., Aspinwall. 412-782-6542. With a bar on one side and black-and-white vinyl booths on the other, the Grille serves as Aspinwall’s unofficial clubhouse. The expected bar and diner classics are all here, but the kitchen expands upon them with unusual presentations and ingredients. KE BRGR. 5997 Penn Circle South, East Liberty (412-362-2333) and 20111 Rt. 19, Cranberry Township (724-742-2333). This casual restaurant celebrates — and in many cases, imaginatively re-creates — America’s signature contribution to global cuisine. BRGR keeps its patties to a reasonable size, which allows for a variety of gourmet toppings — plus room for excellent fried sides (French fries, onion rings, pickles), or milkshakes (traditional or spiked). JE BOSSA NOVA. 123 Seventh St., Downtown. 412-232-3030. This stripped-down, oversized industrial space somehow feels sumptuously swank. The menu is small plates, ranging from traditional tapas to Asianinspired dishes. With excellent food, exemplary service and a grown-up atmosphere, Bossa Nova is a nightclub you don’t have to be out clubbing to appreciate. KE

DINE IN / TAKE OUT

LATHET NIGOD FO +

BYOB B YOB ALL LUNCHES

vegetable stew or herbed polenta wedges. JE CASA RASTA. 2056 Broadway Ave., Beechview. 412-918-9683. This casual storefront taqueria combines the tropical, sometimes spicy flavors of Caribbean and Mexican cuisines in tacos, burritos and tortas. Thus, jerk chicken might be a wing appetizer, or taco filling. Also broaching both cultures: fruit salsa and citrus-marinated fried pork. JF CURRY ON MURRAY. 2121 Murray Ave., Squirrel Hill. 412422-3120. The menu here is fairly standard Thai, featuring your favorites but also offering few surprises. So alongside satay, larb salad, pad Thai and the popular street-food noodle dish, pad see ew, look for moo dad deaw, a fried pork appetizer or a pumpkin-tofu curry. KF

too: Pastrami is made in house, and the braised-beef sandwich features arugula, pickled onions and cambozola cheese. KE GIA VISTO. 4366 Old William Penn Highway, Monroeville. 412-374-1800. The menu at this welcoming Italian restaurant ranges from simple classics to elegant inventions. Whether it’s a fried risotto appetizer enlivened with a elemental but sublime red sauce, or a perfectly cooked salmon on a Mediterranean-inspired bed of beans and vegetables, the fare exhibits the kitchen’s attention to detail. KF

7-$9

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JIMMY WAN’S. 1337 Old Freeport Road, Fox Chapel (412968-0848) and 1686 Route 228, Cranberry (724-778-8978). This upscale eatery delivers what Americans expect from a Chinese restaurant, plus fare with a modern, DASONII KOREAN pan-Asian approach, BISTRO. 6520 complete with Steubenville Pike, Japanese and French www. per pa Robinson. 412-494influences. Wan’s offers pghcitym .co 3311. Grilled meats inventive appetizers and egg-topped dishes such as sashimi ceviche, are among the specialties traditional and creative of this Korean restaurant, which sushi, dim sum and Chinesealso serves sushi. Dasonii offers American entrees both familiar the traditional Korean “BBQ” (Peking duck) and less so (dan — thinly sliced marinated meat, dan noodles). KE grilled — as well as bibimbap, the savory hot pot combining JOSEPH TAMBELLINI noodles, vegetables and meat RESTAURANT. 5701 Bryant piled atop rice. Also worth St., Highland Park. 412-665trying: the stir-fried udon 9000. The menu at this convivial noodles, and short ribs. KE white-linen Italian restaurant straddles the ultra-familiar — EASY STREET. 301 Grant St. the five choices in the chicken (One Oxford Centre),Downtown. and veal section are trattoria 412-235-7984. A relaxing staples — and the more unusual. Downtown venue succeeds There’s a strong emphasis on with inventive bar fare such as a fresh pasta and inventively pork-belly sandwich and yellowprepared seafood, such as fin tuna tacos that straddle crusted Chilean sea bass in the Latin-Asian flavor divide. an orange buerre blanc and Less exotic fare is treated well, berry marmalade. LE

“Toast can serve as an upscale bar for after-work drinks or late-evening conversation. It’s casual and inexpensive enough to go to “just because,” but also serious enough to be a special occasion destination”

$

t. 1 am Wed.-TSaues. 12 am Sun.-

Casta Rasta {PHOTO BY HEATHER MULL}

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www.toastpgh.com 412-224-2579

KITCHEN & WINE BAR

Traditional. Simple. Delicious. And Now Organic.

FULL LIST ONLINE

{PHOTO BY HEATHER MULL}

Curry on Murray BRILLOBOX. 4104 Penn Ave., Bloomfield. 412-621-4900. A bar that serves well-designed retro chic with its whiskey and beer, Brillobox is (for now) the cool place to be. The menu isn’t lengthy, but it’s broad: Choose from bar staples or more inventive (and veggie-friendly) specialties such as Moroccan roasted-

Come find out which of your favorite breads are now made with organic ingredients.

ALLEGRO HEARTH BAKERY 2034 MURRAY AVE.

SQUIRREL HILL

Corner of Murray and Hobart

412-422-5623 allegrohearth.com OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK Mon.-Sat. 7am-7:30pm & Sun. 7am-7pm

CONTINUES ON PG. 24

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“Show up at Benjamin’s in jeans or in post-party formalwear, and you’ll feel equally at home. The atmosphere is comfortable and welcoming, the food is simply outstanding…” – Pittsburgh City Paper

THE QUIET STORM COFFEEHOUSE AND RESTAURANT. 5430 Penn Ave., Friendship. 412-661-9355. Bike punks, young families and knowledge-workers can all use a cup of joe, lunch or some homemade pastry. The Quiet Storm’s laid-back, familiar vibe welcomes all to chill. Breakfast, lunch, dinner and Sunday brunches cater to vegetarians and vegans. JF

HEY BROWN BAGGER, EAT YOUR LUNCH AT STEELHEAD! Pittsburgh Marriott City Center 112 Washington Place, Downtown 412-471-4000 for Reservations www.thesteelhead.com

PLUM PAN-ASIAN KITCHEN. 5996 Penn Circle South, East Liberty. 412-363-7586. The swanky space incorporates a dining room, sushi bar and cocktail nook. The pan-Asian menu consists mostly of well-known — and elegantly presented — dishes such as lo mein, seafood hot pot, Thai curries and basil stir-fries. Entrées are reasonably priced, so splurge on a signature cocktail or house-made dessert. KE

Scan to View Steelhead Menus

900 Western Ave. NORTH SIDE Open Daily at 11 am 412-224-2163

BenjaminsPgh.com

SMILING BANANA LEAF. 5901 Bryant St., Highland Park. 412-362-3200. At this absolute jewel-box of a restaurant, the menu emphasizes authentic Thai dishes rather than Thai-inflected Chinese food. Grilled meat appetizers are beautifully seasoned, and the pad Thai offers a lively balance of ingredients. The assertively spicy pumpkin curry features a special variety of Thai gourd. JF TAVERN 245. 245 Fourth Ave., Downtown. 412-281-4345. Step into this Downtown fancy-casual pub, with smart looks and tasty, updated bar fare. “The Farm” entree featured sliders made with chicken, pulled BBQ pork and steak fillet, on a potato roll with red pepper and goat cheese. The fried calamari

PIZZA (of course!)

Any Slice,Any Time!

HAPPY HOUR Half Off Drafts Mon-Fri 5-7PM

35¢ Wing Nights Mon thru Thu 5-9PM

JOIN US FOR THE GAME! $1 Bud Light Drafts DURING MARCH BASKETBALL GAMES!

Pens Hockey Special: $10 Labatt Blue Buckets $1 Slices

Weekend Entertainment!

412-481-0480 2126 EAST CARSON ST. Open for Lunch, Dinner and Late Night Mon - Sun DELIVERY AVAILABLE!

TEPPANYAKI KYOTO. 5808 Bryant St., Highland Park. 412-441-1610. This Japanese restaurant offers fare drawn from the menus of lunch counters, train stations and family kitchens. From salads containing burdock root and rice balls to cabbage pancakes and stir-fried noodles, this diner-style venue lets casual eaters expand beyond sushi. KE WAFFLES, INCAFFEINATED. 1224 Third Ave., New Brighton (724-359-4841) and 2517 E. Carson St., South Side (412-3011763). The fresh-made waffles here are a marvelous foil for sweet and savory toppings. Sweet options include the Funky Monkey (chocolate chips, bananas, peanut butter and chocolate sauce). The Breakfast Magic has bacon, cheddar and green onions inside, topped with a fried egg and sour cream. Or customize your waffles with a dizzying array of mix-ins. J

offMenu {BY AMYJO BROWN}

KITCHEN HELP

Springboard Kitchens provides hope through meals, training TWO MONTHS ago, Ann Pollard, a 45-year-old liv-

ing in temporary housing, walked through the doors of Springboard Kitchens, in Uptown, and saw about a dozen people in the commercial kitchen working furiously to finish and serve 2,000-plus meals. “I think I stopped breathing a little bit,” she says. “I like to cook. But this is a whole different thing.” Now she’s one of them, her chopping skills known to be among those to beat. Springboard Kitchens, a nonprofit organization in its fifth year of operation, works to solve food-access issues in a unique way: It rescues the perishable food that food pantries can’t take and uses it to help train some of society’s most-unemployable how to cook delicious food from scratch. And it does it all by running working commercial kitchens that serve other vulnerable populations, including the seniors who are part of Allegheny County’s Meals on Wheels program.

“WE FIGURED IF WE CONNECTED ALL OF THOSE PIECES, WE CAN SOLVE A LOT OF PROBLEMS AT ONCE.” “We figured if we connected all of those pieces, we can solve a lot of problems at once,” says Jennifer Flanagan, chief business and program officer. About 50 graduates each year roll through Springboard Kitchens’ six-month training curriculum. About 90 percent of those in the program are ex-offenders, re-entering society after time spent in county jail or state prisons. About 40 percent have a diagnosed mental illness. About half face a drug or alcohol addiction. About half are homeless. It’s a lot like other food-service jobs, except the chefs are a little more lenient when it comes to lines that are crossed, says one of the chefs, Tod Shoenberger, who is also CEO and president of the nonprofit. Caseworkers also work in the kitchen to help with conflicts or personal issues that arise. “You have a lot of very strong-willed personalities. They’re driven,” Shoenberger says, adding that that drive may have been misdirected in the past. “We’re taking that and refocusing it.” The idea, says Flanagan, is that “if you can operate in a busy, fast-paced commercial kitchen, you can do anything.” Finishing her first week in the program on Friday, Aziza Wood, 35, overflowed with praise for it. “Today, I helped package the Meals on Wheels,” she said. “My grandmother uses Meals on Wheels. I felt productive.” A B ROW N @ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

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LOCAL

BEAT

“EVERY STUDIO I GO TO, I’M THE ONLY GUY THEY’VE EVER SEEN WRITE HIS RHYMES DOWN.”

{BY ANDY MULKERIN}

ONE-MAN CHOIR

AMULKERIN@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

More on The Homeless Gospel Choir: www.thehomelessgospelchoir.com N E W S

FROM

WRITSTO RHYMES Finding a way: Derek Zanetti of The Homeless Gospel Choir

On a recent weekday morning, Derek Zanetti — the solo artist known as The Homeless Gospel Choir — was on a mission. He had boxes of the newly pressed LP of last year’s Luxury Problems, with messages written on them: “Folk/Punk. org’s number 6 record of the times.” “For fans of Metallica, Lisa Loeb, Black Flag and Bjork.” He was taking them to local record stores hoping to consign the records, in the boxes. Zanetti does things a little bit differently. The Pittsburgh native worked in the music industry for a short time, tour-managing for a big indie label, and grew tired of it pretty quickly. The business isn’t really his style. “I lost a little bit of heart” while working in music, he says. “I just thought, ‘This is what it really is?’ I’d see a band get paid $1,400 a night, but the band itself would end up getting such a small cut of that.” He decided to live — and document — an alternative approach to music. He started playing as The Homeless Gospel Choir in 2008, at first in small DIY spaces like 222 Ormsby, Garfield Artworks and the Mr. Roboto Project. Then soon enough he moved to bigger venues, and opening for acts like Frank Turner. His music is well written and pointed, about politics and issues. “I try to think of a song that I wish existed,” he says, “then write that song.” He came up on local bands like Aus Rotten, and notes that Pittsburgh has a tradition of music that’s message-based. He tours regularly, with music as his main gig — but he does it on a shoestring, booking and publicizing himself. Last year, he had the idea to make a documentary about his enterprise, and through Facebook enlisted friends with experience in filmmaking to follow him on tour, documenting everything onstage and behind the scenes. The filming begins on a tour that starts this weekend in Mansfield, Ohio. “Touring is possible,” he says. “There’s a way to do it; you don’t need a label, a manager, lots of money. I want to make a documentary that encourages people to go out there and make art.”

{PHOTO BY HEATHER MULL}

{BY ANDY MULKERIN}

T

Pleading YOLO contendre: law school dropout Ray Dawn

HERE ARE A number of things

that set Ray Dawn apart from the current pack of Pittsburgh hiphop artists who are trying to make it. He’s not only a college graduate, but a former law student. He’s 31 and working a day job at a bank to make his dream possible. He’s mature and businesslike, yet his focus is on his music as a mode of self-expression. It’s tough not to take a liking to him. As he performs at South By Southwest this week — the second time in as many years — the Pittsburgh rapper who’s better known outside of Pittsburgh hopes 2013 will be his breakout year. Ray Dawn didn’t grow up wanting to be a rapper. Education was a priority for

the future MC then known as Raymond Sims; both his mother and grandmother were educators. After attending Squirrel Hill’s Minadeo Elementary, he started high school at Central Catholic and then

MORE ON RAY DAWN at www.raydawnmusic.com

ONLINE EXTRA Find out about more Pittsburgh artists playing SXSW this week on our website, www.pghcitypaper.com.

his family moved to Holland, Mich. He went to nearby Western Michigan University — where he studied journalism, and where he also began writing rhymes.

The bug bit him just as he was leaving for school. “I was watching the Source Hip-Hop Awards on UPN,” Ray Dawn recalls. “I’m in the basement, packing, to get out of my parents’ house, what I’ve been waiting for my whole life: Do my own thing. And Snoop Dogg gets an award and he’s like, ‘I’m a high-school dropout.’ And I’m like, ‘What? A successful guy like this? I’m about to go to college and he’s a high-school dropout? I could do this shit!’” He wrote his first song that night. He started writing rhymes regularly, but not the way some start out, freestyling over beats with friends. Ray Dawn wrote on notepads and on the CONTINUES ON PG. 27

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computer, and started sharing on an online forum called Freestyling.com. “At some point, I wrote a verse every day for a year. After a while, it got to be where the guys who took this seriously were like, ‘OK, we’ve got to start recording, we can’t be Text-Cs, we have to be MCs.” (To this day, though, he writes it all down: “Every studio I go to, I’m the only guy they’ve ever seen write his rhymes down,” Ray Dawn says with a laugh.) From there, it was campus shows and parties, familiarizing himself with performing live. But prioritizing was sometimes a struggle. “It got to a point in college where my grades were suffering so much, I had to give [music] up. One semester, I failed all of my classes. I’ve always had the ability to achieve, but I’d be like, ‘Fuck homework, I’d rather play video games.’” Ray Dawn finished out undergrad and started law school, but hip-hop was calling him back — and he found that he couldn’t do both. Plus, he was having trouble keeping on the straightand-narrow. During law school, he got his second DUI. “I was actually driving home because I wanted to get up early and study the next day, not wake up on

OPUS ONE PRESENTS

somebody’s couch,” he says. After a year, he dropped out of law school in grand fashion: walking out in the middle of an exam. He just knew it wasn’t for him — for one thing, the language of law doesn’t leave much room for self-expression. He was soon spurred to take rap even more seriously after he placed in the top five in a national contest to open for Common. In 2008, Ray Dawn moved back to Pittsburgh to be with his grandparents; they served as an inspiration, and The Last Sleep of Arthur, Ray Dawn’s latest EP, is dedicated to them. The album mixes personal writing with Arthurian legend; it’s smart, but not overtly nerdy. He references Oberon — the summer ale from Bell’s, a microbrew near his college — and is well aware that it’s a Shakespeare reference as well. There’s surely a bit of double entendre, too, in “NB 420,” which ostensibly is about the pair of shoes that he likes to wear onstage. This is a good-time rapper who reads The New York Times on the regular and references Malcolm Gladwell from time to time. Another selling point for Ray Dawn: He’s punctual, easy to get along with and reliable. CONTINUES ON PG. 28

03/21 04/02 04/03 04/08

KATE NASH CHELSEA LIGHT MOVING THE DEAR HUNTER TOOTS AND THE MAYTALS

03/15 THE CALM BEFORE THE STORM 03/16 03/21 03/22 03/22 03/23 03/27

A QUIET NIGHT OF THE BEST OF IRISH MUSIC THE TURBOSONICS (CD RELEASE) DAVE HAMMER'S POWER SUPPLY THE WRECKIDS, LOBO MARINO, BROKEN FENCES (EARLY) THE STEEL CITY COMEDY TOUR (LATE) JOE GRUSHECKY AND THE HOUSEROCKERS PHOSPHORESCENT

03/24 SAN CISCO

TICKETWEB.COM/OPUSONE | FACEBOOK.COM/OPUSONEPROD | TWITTER.COM/OPUSONEPROD FOR A COMPLETE LIST OF SHOWS VISIT WWW.OPUSONEPRODUCTIONS.COM

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^ã ½ãÊóÄ FILM FACTORY COMPETITION Come to the FILM FACTORY events to learn about the film industry and be inspired as the top 12 writers (selected from over 250 entries) compete and pitch their short film ideas to our panels of entertainment industry professionals from LA, New York, and Pittsburgh. The Writer's Pitch, 3/23/13 * Events often sell out so reserve your tickets early! Visit :

The Director's Pitch, 4/20/13

And the Winner is, 5/11/13

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The City’s Hottest Live Music Scene! Visit jergels.com for a complete list of shows and to buy tickets!

UPCOMING NATIONAL SHOWS

FROM WRITS TO RHYMES, CONTINUED FROM PG. 27

“I pride myself on my work ethic, and so does Ray,” says rapper Beedie, who guests on Last Sleep, and who recently brought Ray Dawn on as hype man for an out-of-town show when his regular partner couldn’t make it. “We definitely vibe on a number of levels, musically and otherwise. That’s what I vibe with: Good people who make good music.” It’s not hard to follow Ray Dawn’s evolution; The Last Sleep of Arthur is more mature and cohesive than his first official mixtape, 2010’s Controlled Chaos. Part of the development is probably attributable to his working regularly with two producers, Danimal and Ohini Jonez, on Last Sleep. But it’s also because he’s settled down as an artist and a lyricist. “I used to be more like, lock myself in a room and write. In the morning, write. Get home from work and write. Now I’m more like, let life dictate the music. Let it breathe. I don’t find myself stuck in writer’s block, because I have a different perspective.” “Before, I’d want a structure: something for the club, something for the ladies, something smooth to play in your car in the summer. Now I do that stuff because I’m living it.” AMU L K E R IN@PGH C IT YPAPE R . C O M

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SHOWS THIS WEEK Thu 3.14 Fri 3.15 Sat 3.16 Sun 3.17

GOOD BROTHER EARL // acoustic // 8 pm // $5 BACK TO THE EIGHTIES SHOW WITH JESSIE’S GIRL the ULTIMATE ’80s tribute! // 9 pm // $10 ST. PATTY’S DAY PARTY w/ In Transit // up tempo // 9 pm // $7 CONCERT FOR A CAUSE // 7 pm // $10

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NEW RELEASES

THE TURBOSONICS THE TURBOSONICS (AMERISON RECORDS)

The point of surf rock is not so much to write songs as it is to shoot around some guitar riffs that encapsulate the rolling waves of the Pacific. The Turbosonics (a surf-rock trio despite being 300 miles from the nearest ocean) manage this well for 32 minutes, rarely slackening from an appropriately rollicking pace. Their all-instrumental, self-entitled studio debut features enough smoldering riffs to make you forget you’ve just heard the same song boomed around a different way eight times. BY NICK KEPPLER

SMOOTH TUTORS/9DW SPLIT LP (HARMONY SOCIETY)

A split 12-inch vinyl-only release (there’s not even a digital version!) between locals Smooth Tutors and Japanese band 9dw, issued by Harmony Society, the label run by 720 Music’s Andrew Burger. Both sides are smooth and jazz-kissed; 9dw holds down more of a housemusic vibe on the A-side, with funky synths and programmed drum beats, while Smooth Tutors offers more jazz fusion, with live drums, and on their first track, trumpet. Their second track, “Rhododendron,” offers up more electro-funky stuff, with a decidedly math-y bent. An easy listen, but also complex and thoughtful. BY ANDY MULKERIN

THE GHOSTWRITE MONSTER PUNCH (SELF-RELEASED)

Full-length of folk-punk-style stuff from sometimes-Braddock/sometimesBaltimore resident Robby Lester. Simple, catchy tunes featuring much of the genre’s tried-and-true subject matter: politics, personal engagement, breaking veg at Long John Silver’s. Some fun turns of phrase herein (“If you call me a liberal, I’ll call you a knucklehead … you fucking knucklehead”). BY ANDY MULKERIN


CRITICS’ PICKS

Kate Nash

If you love your Irish heritage, but aren’t such a big fan of glittery green clovers strewn, well, everywhere, check out the The Calm Before the Storm, Irish-born songwriter Mark Dignam’s attempt to put on a more dignified celebration of Irish song and verse. Tonight’s show at Club Café will feature songs written by the likes of Dominic Behan and W.B. Yeats, as well as performances by a bevy of local poets and musicians from many walks of life, such as Broken Fences, Josh Verbanets, Bruce Foley and Zoob. John Lavanga 8 p.m. 56-58 S. 12th St., South Side. $10. 412-431-4950 or www.clubcafelive.com

[HIP HOP] + FRI., MARCH 15 Since riding a wave of shock, awe and outrage into the media spotlight, the members of rap colTrust lective Odd Future Wolf Gang Kill Them All have established themselves as hip hop’s favorite delinquents. Whether it’s necrophilia in their rhymes or fights at concerts, their members seem to feed off of the controversy that they create on what seems like a weekly basis. This is especially true of the 21-year-old founder of the collective, Tyler, the Creator, who combines his deep, memorable voice with the sort of subject matter that’s probably worthy of far more than the average parental-advisory warning. At Mr. Small’s Theatre. JL 8 p.m. 400 Lincoln Ave., Millvale. Sold out at press time. 412-821-4447 or www.mrsmalls.com

[A CAPPELLA] + SAT., MARCH 16 It’s a far cry from “Do it, Rockapella!” — Perpetuum Jazzile, a young Slovenian group put together by a Swedish impresario, is one of the largest and best-known all-vocal groups

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in the world. With 35 members, the group makes music that’s far more complex than your average barbershop quartet; it’s something to be witnessed, and you can do just that tonight at the Carnegie Library Music Hall of Homestead. Andy Mulkerin 7 p.m. 510 E. 10th Ave., Munhall. $20-25. All ages. 412-368-5225 or www.librarymusichall.com

[ELECTRONIC] + TUE., MARCH 19 Robert Alfons might be the face of Trust, but the male/female dynamic of the group’s 2012 record TRST, established by the involvement of Austra’s Maya Postepski, helped draw comparisons to fellow electrogoth Canadians Crystal Castles. Alfons’ vocals bring to mind a downdown-tuned Ian Curtis, and Trust — appearing Tuesday at Brillobox — retains an agreeably cold, pulsating seediness. And though TRST is a superb late-night headphones listen, the ideal setting for this stuff is probably a dark club, packed with people who aren’t afraid to dance. With Eraas and Ennui. Margaret Welsh 9 p.m. 4104 Penn Ave., Bloomfield. $10-12. 412-621-4900 {PHOTO COURTESY OF KRISTIE MULLER}

[IRISH] + FRI., MARCH 15

[POP] + THU., MARCH 21 It’s not just the Cockney accent that lends some punk cred to singer-songwriter Kate Nash; she’s a pop singer, sure, but her music’s got an edge, and she’s become one of the anthemists for the new young feminist movement. (She premiered a video recently through Rookie magazine, natch.) Her latest, Girl Talk, came out last month; tonight, she plays Mr. Small’s Theatre. Supercute! opens. AM 8 p.m. 400 Lincoln Ave., Millvale. $10. All ages. 412-821-4447 or www.mrsmalls.com

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WE KNOW

GUITARS

BUY, SELL & TRADE NEW AND USED! GUITARS - BASSES - UKES AMPS - LESSONS - REPAIRS

1305 E. CARSON ST.

SOUTH SIDE 412.431.0700 HOURS: MON-THU 11AM-8PM, FRI-SAT 11AM-5PM

PITTSBURGHGUITARS.COM

Stop by Peters Pub TO WATCH ALL YOUR FAVORITE COLLEGE BASKETBALL ACTION and enjoy

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412.316.3388 (FAX) + 412.316.3342 X194 (PHONE)

{ALL LISTINGS MUST BE SUBMITTED BY 9 A.M. FRIDAY PRIOR TO PUBLICATION}

THIS MARCH LET THE MAYHEM BEGIN

BLOOMFIELD BRIDGE TAVERN. The Brushfire. South Side. 412-431-4668. Sticky, Napoleon in Exile. STAGE AE. Slightly Stoopid, Tribal BloomďŹ eld. 412-682-8611. Seeds, Quincy Mumford & The CLUB CAFE. Mark Dignam, ALTAR BAR. Adrenaline Mob. Reason Why. North Side. Broken Fences, Ben Shannon, Josh Strip District. 412-263-2877. THUNDERBIRD CAFE. Mike Dillon Verbanets, Callan, Nathan Zoob, CIOPPINO SEAFOOD CHOPHOUSE more. South Side. 412-431-4950. Band. Lawrenceville. 412-682-0177. BAR. Terrance Vaughn Trio. THE FALLOUT SHELTER. 50 Strip District. 412-281-6593. Caliber Dream, Crisis in America, CLUB CAFE. Milo Greene. 99 BOTTLES. Total Package. The Scratch n’ Sniffs, Curse the South Side. 412-431-4950. Carnegie. Sky. Aliquippa. 724-375-5080. HOLLYWOOD THEATER. Pain ALTAR BAR. Kelly Richey. GARFIELD ARTWORKS. Jesse Solution, Squidling Brothers, The Strip District. 412-263-2877. Sparhawk & Eric Carbonara, Legendary Hucklebucks, Jason BEACON HOTEL. Austin Jaimie Branch & Jarrett Martinko Revue. Trundle Manor Drive Band. Renfrew. Gilgore, Mike Tamburo. presents Wunder Sleaze. 18+ only. 724-586-6233. GarďŹ eld. 412-361-2262. Dormont. 412-344-1245. THE CENTER OF HOWLERS COYOTE HOWLERS COYOTE CAFE. Boon, HARMONY. SpinCycle. www. per CAFE. Bryan McQuaid, a Chet Vincent & The Williams Band. p Harmony. 724-321-4265. pghcitym Chuck Owsten, Ryan o .c BloomďŹ eld. 412-682-0320. CLUB CAFE. The Taylor (early) Charm & THE MR. ROBOTO PROJECT. Turbosonics, Tom Breiding Chain, The Banned (late). Tweens, The Lopez, One Up. (early). CD release. South BloomďŹ eld. 412-682-0320. BloomďŹ eld. Side. 412-431-4950. JERGEL’S RHYTHM GRILLE. MR. SMALLS THEATER. Old 97’s, CLYDE’S SALOON. Crisis, The Standard Band. Warrendale. The O’s. Millvale. 866-468-3401. PIPEWRENCH, Irukandji. Cadogan. 724-799-8333. SMILING MOOSE. Gabriel 724-763-8568. MOONDOG’S. Juggling Suns, The Marine Liquified Guts, Grisly DURAN’S. badj. Carnegie. theCAUSE, Sandoz, Fourth River Amputation, Promethean Horde. 412-276-7803. Revival, Dizzy Woosh, Flying South Side. 412-431-4668. FAIRWAYS LOUNGE. E-Z Action. Cunninghams, Rusty Haywhackers, THUNDERBIRD CAFE. Izzy & North Braddock. 412-271-0506. Weedrags, Patti Spadaro Band, Catastrophics, The Turpentiners. GARFIELD ARTWORKS. Josiah Grooveshifter, more. Lawrenceville. 412-682-0177. Leming, One Love, White Like pUNKapalooza Jam Band Festival. Fire. GarďŹ eld. 412-361-2262. Blawnox. 412-828-2040. GATEWAY CLIPPER FLEET. REX THEATER. Railroad Earth. ALTAR BAR. Black Market Diary. The Clarks. Station Square. South Side. 412-381-6811. Strip District. 412-263-2877. 412-355-7980. SMILING MOOSE. From The BEAVER FALLS TURNERS CLUB. HAMBONE’S. Ye Olde Royal Ashes, I Claim As Mine Special The Dave Iglar Band. Beaver Falls. Shithouse Players. Lawrenceville. Guest, Slingshot Genius, 724-843-7576. 412-681-4318. HARVEY WILNER’S. Alter Ego, Funhouse. West Mifin. 412-466-1331. HOWLERS COYOTE CAFE. The Sablowskis, Photo Joe & The Negatives. BloomďŹ eld. 412-682-0320. JOEY D’S. The Dave Iglar Band. Harmarville. 412-828-0999. MOONDOG’S. Juggling Suns, theCAUSE, Sandoz, Fourth River Revival, Dizzy Woosh, Flying Cunninghams, Rusty Haywhackers, Weedrags, Patti Spadaro Band, Grooveshifter, more. pUNKapalooza Jam Band Festival. Blawnox. 412-828-2040. THE MR. ROBOTO PROJECT. Helen Money. BloomďŹ eld. MR. SMALLS THEATER. F*@k Face Unstoppable, Forever In Fear, A Moment Of Victory, Chain The Scylla Japandroids. Millvale. 866-468-3401. PENN ROD & GUN CLUB. Doppler Each week, we bring you a new MP3 from Affect. Penn. 724-523-6517. ROCKY’S ROUTE 8. Recycled a local band. This week’s offering comes from Vinyl. Shaler. 412-487-6259. The Red Western, who recently released ST. HENRY LYCEUM. Moose Tracks. South Side. 412-431-9545. a split LP with Grand Piano. Stream or download THUNDERBIRD CAFE. The on FFW>>, our music blog Beagle Brothers Brewers Row. Lawrenceville. 412-682-0177. at pghcitypaper.com.

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FRI 15

MP 3 MONDAY

THE RED WESTERN

“Ohio�

CONTINUES ON PG. 32

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31


CONCERTS, CONTINUED FROM PG. 31

THE VATICAN’T. Greys, Edhochuli, Glowworms, Dana Scully. Oakland. WATERWORKS - GREENSBURG. Lucky Me. Greenfield. 724-216-5408. WHITE HAWK CAFE. VooDoo Lion. Penn Hills. 412-243-2511. THE WOODEN NICKEL. One Sweet Burgh. Monroeville. 412-372-9750.

SUN 17 HOWLERS COYOTE CAFE. Weird Paul Rock Band 99 Cent Variety Show. Bloomfield. 412-682-0320. MR. SMALLS THEATER. Drowning Clowns, Phat Man Dee, Chrome Baby Jesus, DJ Zombo, more. Drowning Clowns CD Release Party. Part of the 2013 Revival Series. Millvale. 866-468-3401. SMILING MOOSE. Old Man Markley, Derek Woodz Band. South Side. 412-431-4668.

CAPRI PIZZA AND BAR. Saturday Night Meltdown. Top 40, Hip Hop, Club, R&B, Funk & Soul. East Liberty. 412-362-1250. DIESEL. DJ CK. South Side. 412-431-8800. MEXICO CITY. DJ Juan Diego VII. Salsa & Latin music. Downtown. 412-980-7653. THE NEW AMSTERDAM. Billy Pilgrim. 412-904-2915. Tracksploitation. Lawrenceville. 412-904-2915. REDBEARDS. DJ Kayoss. Mt. Washington. 412-431-3730. REMEDY. Push It! DJ Huck Finn, DJ Kelly Fasterchild. Lawrenceville. 412-781-6771. ROWDY BUCK. Top 40 Dance. South Side. 412-431-2825. S BAR. Pete Butta. South Side. 412-481-7227.

ALTAR BAR. Big Bad Voodoo Daddy. Strip District. 412-263-2877. ANDYS. Ken Karsh. Downtown. 412-773-8884. BRILLOBOX. Trust Trust, Eraas, Ennui. Bloomfield. 412-621-4900. CLUB CAFE. Tyrone Wells, Brendan James, Brett Young. South Side. 412-431-4950. MR. SMALLS THEATER. Todd Snider, Ashleigh Flynn. Millvale. 866-468-3401. SHADOW LOUNGE. Air Dubai. East Liberty. 412-363-8277.

WED 20 GOOSKI’S. So Cow, The City Buses. Polish Hill. 412-681-1658. HOWLERS COYOTE CAFE. Deborah Heaton Brown, Jeremy Caywood, Nathan Zoob. Bloomfield. 412-682-0320. MR. SMALLS THEATER. They Might Be Giants, Moon Hooch. Millvale. 866-468-3401. PALACE THEATRE. Jewel. Greensburg. 724-836-8000. ROCK BOTTOM. Good Brother Earl. Waterfront. 412-462-2739.

Ariel Pink

{SUN., MAY 19}

DJS THU 14 BELVEDERE’S. Neon w/ DJ hatesyou. 80s Night. Lawrenceville. 412-687-2555. CLUB TABOO. DJ Matt & Gangsta Shak. Homewood. 412-969-0260.

FRI 15 BACKSTAGE BAR AT THEATRE SQUARE. Salsa Fridays. DJ Jeff Shirey, DJ Carlton, DJ Paul Mitchell. Downtown. 412-456-6666. CAPRI PIZZA AND BAR. Bombo Claat Friday’s Reggae. East Liberty. 412-362-1250. THE NEW AMSTERDAM. Anthony Suzan. Lawrenceville. 412-904-2915. ONE 10 LOUNGE. DJ Goodnight, DJ Rojo. Downtown. 412-874-4582. REDBEARDS. DJ Kayoss. Mt. Washington. 412-431-3730. ROWDY BUCK. Top 40 Dance. South Side. 412-431-2825. RUGGER’S PUB. 80s Night w/ DJ Connor. South Side. 412-381-1330.

Stage AE, 400 North Shore Drive, North Side {WED., JUNE 05}

Ariel Pink Altar Bar, 1620 Penn Ave., Strip District {SUN., JUNE 16}

Japandroids

TUE 19 BELVEDERE’S. DJ T$. Lawrenceville. 724-312-4098.

Mr. Small’s Theatre, 400 Lincoln Ave., Millvale

WED 20

FRI 15 FRANKIE’S. Chaoz, Nes Da Shad-O, L-Trayne, Divine 7, Realest Deal, Verbs, J-Bass, Kog. Squirrel Hill. 412-537-5081. MR. SMALLS THEATER. Tyler, The Creator. Millvale. 866-468-3401.

EXCUSES BAR & GRILL. Don Hollowood’s Cobra Kings. South Side. 412-431-4090. JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. The Blues Orphans. North Side. 412-904-3335. JUNE BUG’S. Bobby Hawkins Back Alley Blues. Sutersville. 724-872-4757. MOONDOG’S. Patti Spadaro Band, Fourth River. Blawnox. 412-828-2040. PITTSBURGH OPERA. Sweaty Betty. Steel City Blues Festival. Strip District. 412-999-9479. ROCKY’S ROUTE 8. The Blue Bombers, Patrick Scanga. Shaler. 412-487-6259.

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.13/03.20.2013

FRI 15 BEER NUTZ PLAZA. Tim & John. Fox Chapel. 412-963-6882.

BIDDLE’S ESCAPE. Stacy Lucas. Regent Square. 412-999-9009. GATEWAY CLIPPER FLEET. Erica Blinn. Station Square. 412-355-7980. HAMBONE’S. Tim & John. Lawrenceville. 412-681-4318. JOHN ANTHONY’S RESTAURANT. The Night Tones. Plum. OLIVE OR TWIST. The Vagrants. Downtown. 412-255-0525.

SUN 17 HAMBONE’S. Calliope Old Time Appalachian Jam. Lawrenceville. 412-681-4318. PITTSBURGH PUBLIC MARKET. The Squirrel Hillbillies. Strip District. 412-281-4505.

MON 18

SAT 16

ALTAR BAR. Patti Spadaro Band, Kelly Richey. Strip District. 412-206-9719. CARNEGIE MELLON UNIVERSITY. Kim Massie & the Solomon Douglas Swingtet. Steel City Blues Festival. Rangos Auditorium. Oakland. 412-999-9479. THE R BAR. The Rumpshakers. Dormont. 412-445-5279. SPEAL’S TAVERN. The Eldorado Kings w/ Johnny Rooster. New Alexandria. 724-433-1322. THE VALLEY HOTEL. Bobby Hawkins Back Alley Blues. Jefferson Hills. 412-233-9800.

ANDYS. Tania Grubbs. Downtown. 412-773-8884. CARNEGIE LIBRARY OF HOMESTEAD MUSIC HALL. Perpetuum Jazzile. Munhall. 412-368-5225. CIOPPINO SEAFOOD CHOPHOUSE BAR. Moorehouse Jazz. Strip District. 412-281-6593. CJ’S. The Tony Campbell Saturday Jazz Jam Session. Strip District. 412-642-2377. JT’S. Elan Trotman. Monroeville. 412-292-1753. MANCHESTER CRAFTSMEN’S GUILD. Joe Sample, Lewis Nash & Steve Wilson Duo. North Side. 412-322-1773. WALNUT GROVE. The Etta Cox Duo. Wexford. 724-933-8410.

HAMBONE’S. Monday Night Whiskey Rebellion Bluegrass Jam. Lawrenceville. 412-681-4318.

SUN 17

WORLD

paper pghcitym .co

FRI 15

THU 14 - SUN 17

SAT 16

FULL LIST E ONwLwIN w.

BLUES

ACOUSTIC

SAT 16

Juicy J

HIP HOP/R&B

CLASSICAL

BILLY’S ROADHOUSE BAR & GRILL. Mark Pipas. Wexford. 724-934-1177. CAFE NOTTE. Acoustic Cafe w/ Bucky. Emsworth. 412-761-2233. DOWNEY’S HOUSE. Jay Wiley. Robinson. 412-489-5631. MULLIGAN’S SPORTS BAR & GRILLE. Acoustic Night. West Mifflin. 412-461-8000.

RIVERS CASINO. DJs Bill Bara & Digital Dave. North Side. 412-231-7777. SMILING MOOSE. The Upstage Nation. DJ EzLou & N8theSk8. Electro, post punk, industrial, new wave, alternative dance. South Side. 412-431-4668.

AVA BAR & LOUNGE. DJ Outtareach. East Liberty. 412-363-8277. BLOOMFIELD BRIDGE TAVERN. Fuzz! Drum & bass weekly. Bloomfield. 412-682-8611. SAVOY RESTAURANT. Latin Savoy Night. Strip District. 412-281-0660. SPOON. Spoon Fed. Hump day chill. House music. aDesusParty. East Liberty. 412-362-6001.

SEWICKLEY HOTEL. Daval/Stater Guitar Duo. Sewickley. 412-427-9979.

THU 14

SUN 17

TUE 19

32

EARLY WARNINGS

SAT 16

WED 20

CAFE NOTTE. Billy Heid. Emsworth. 412-761-2233.

JAZZ THU 14 ANDYS. Lisa Hindmarsh. Downtown. 412-773-8884. CJ’S. Rodger Humphries & The RH Factor. Strip District. 412-642-2377. LITTLE E’S. Jessica Lee & Friends. Entrepreneurial Thursdays. Downtown. 412-392-2217. PAPA J’S RISTORANTE. Jimmy Z & Friends. Carnegie. 412-429-7272.

FRI 15 ANDYS. Maureen Budway. Downtown. 412-773-8884. THE WOODEN NICKEL. Jessica Saenz. Monroeville. 412-372-9750.

ELWOOD’S PUB. Jeff Pogas. Cheswick. 724-265-1181. UP MODERN KITCHEN. Dave Roth. Jazzed-up brunch. Shadyside. 412-688-8220.

TUE 19 THUNDERBIRD CAFE. Space Exchange Series feat. Opek. Lawrenceville. 412-682-0177.

WED 20 FERRANTE’S LAKEVIEW. A Tribute to Nat King Cole w/ Walt Maddox. Greensburg. 724-853-4050. MOUNT LEBANON PUBLIC LIBRARY. Susanne OrtnerRoberts, John Marcinizyn, Vladimir Mollov Trio Cafe Europa. Mt. Lebanon. 412-531-1912.

TUE 19 JERGEL’S RHYTHM GRILLE. Blake & Dean. Warrendale. 724-799-8333.

WED 20 ALLEGHENY ELKS LODGE #339. Pittsburgh Banjo Club. Wednesdays. North Side. 412-321-1834. MOONDOG’S. Acoustic Open Stage. Blawnox. 412-828-2040. PARK HOUSE. Dodgy Mountain Boys & the Park House Jammers. North Side. 412-596-2743. PENN HILLS COFFEEHOUSE. Songwriter Showcase. Penn Hills. 412-798-2127.

SAT 16 DOWNEY’S HOUSE. Jack Puskar. Robinson. 412-489-5631. TANA ETHIOPIAN CUISINE. Guaracha Latin Dance Band. East Liberty. 412-583-8815.

SUN 17 CLUB CAFE. The Gabriel Alegria Afro-Peruvian Sextet. South Side. 412-431-4950. DOWNEY’S HOUSE. Michael Flaherty. Robinson. 412-489-5631.

COUNTRY SAT 16 HOLLYWOOD GARDENS. Adela & Jude. Rochester. 724-728-2227.

PITTSBURGH SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA. PNC Pops presents music from The Wizard of Oz. Heinz Hall, Downtown. 412-392-4900.

SAT 16 EDGEWOOD SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA. Jewish Community Center, Squirrel Hill. 412-473-8880. PITTSBURGH YOUTH PHILHARMONIC ORCHESTRA. Prelude Ensembles. Chartiers Valley Intermediate School Auditorium, Scott. 412-403-0002. POMERIUM. Mary Tudor: Glorious Music from the Reign of England’s Catholic Queen. Pittsburgh Renaissance & Baroque. Calvary Episcopal Church, Shadyside. 412-361-2048. TUESDAY MUSICAL CLUB. Henry Spinelli, pianist. Selected works of Scarlatti, Schubert, Fauré, Irving Fine, & Wild/Gershwin. St. Andrew’s Episcopal Church, Highland Park. 412-661-1245. THE WESTMORELAND SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA. Amadeus! A Mozart Celebration Palace Theatre, Greensburg. 724-836-8000.

SUN 17 EDGEWOOD SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA. Jewish Community Center, Squirrel Hill. 412-473-8880. ROBERT MCCORMICK, ORGANIST. East Liberty Presbyterian Church, East Liberty. 412-242-2787.

OTHER MUSIC SAT 16 ANDY WARHOL MUSEUM. Valgeir Sigurosson. North Side. 412-237-8300. LEMONT. Mark Venneri. Mt. Washington. 412-431-3100.

MON 18 BELLEFIELD HALL. University of Pittsburgh Graduate Student Composers. Oakland. 412-624-4266.

HOLIDAY MUSIC THU 14 MAX & ERMA’S. Paddy’s Drunken Uncles. Scott. 412-344-4449.

SAT 16 BOTTLEBRUSH GALLERY & SHOP. The Ploughshare Poets. Harmony. 724-452-0539. COACH’S BOTTLESHOP AND GRILLE. Paddy’s Drunken Uncles. Dormont. 412-207-9397. NIED’S HOTEL. Slim O’Forsythe & Scratchy McHutter. Irish ballads & fiddle tunes. Lawrenceville. 412-781-9853.

WED 20 ANDYS. The Geese in the Bog. Traditional Irish music. Downtown. 412-773-8884.


What to do

IN PITTSBURGH

March 13 - 19 WEDNESDAY 13

JERGELS RHYTHM GRILLE Warrendale. 724-799-8333. $5 cover charge. For more info visit jergels.com. 8p.m.

With special guests Tribal Seeds, Quincy Mumford and The Reason Why. All ages show. Tickets: ticketmaster.com or 1-800-745-3000. Doors open at 7p.m.

Over 21 show. Tickets: ticketfly. com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 8p.m.

The Wizard of Oz The Classic Film with Orchestra

Ruth Doesn't Live Here Anymore

MR. SMALLS THEATRE Millvale. 412-821-4447. With special guests Forever in Fear, A Moment Of Victory & more. All ages show. Tickets: 866-468-3401 or ticketweb. com/opusone. 6:30p.m.

Good Brother Earl

Billy The Kid & The Regulators

LINDSEY STIRLING

JERGELS RHYTHM GRILLE Warrendale. 724-799-8333. $5 cover charge. For more info visit jergels.com. 8p.m.

THURSDAY, MARCH 14 STAGE AE

THURSDAY 14 Adrenaline Mob

ALTAR BAR Strip District. 412-263-2877. With special guests Nothing More, Serpent Lord & more. All ages show. Tickets: ticketfly.com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 7p.m.

HEINZ HALL Downtown. 412-392-4900. Tickets: pittsburghsymphony.org. Through March 17.

KELLY STRAYHORN THEATER East Liberty. 412-363-3000. Tickets: kelly-strayhorn.org. Through March 16.

FRIDAY 15

Railroad Earth

Black Market Diary ALTAR BAR Strip District. 412-263-2877. With special guests Paper States & more. All ages show. Tickets: ticketfly. com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 8p.m.

Lindsey Stirling STAGE AE North Side. With special guest The Vibrant Sounds. All ages show. Tickets: ticketmaster.com or 1-800-745-3000. Doors open at 7p.m.

Mike Dillon Band

Milo Greene CLUB CAFE South Side. 412-431-4950. Over 21 show. Tickets: ticketweb.com/opusone. 7p.m.

PAID ADVERTORIAL SPONSORED BY

show. Tickets: 866-468-3401 or ticketweb.com/opusone. 8p.m.

Old 97's MR. SMALLS THEATRE Millvale. 412-821-4447. All ages

SPECIAL PURCHASES SAVINGS TO $55

THUNDERBIRD CAFE Lawrenceville. 412-682-0177. Over 21 show.Tickets: greyareaprod. com. 9p.m.

Slightly Stoopid STAGE AE North Side.

REX THEATER South Side. 412-381-6811. Over 21 show. Tickets: greyareaprod.com. 8p.m.

SATURDAY 16 Perpetuum Jazzile

CARNEGIE LIBRARY MUSIC HALL Munhall. 412-368-5225. All ages show. Tickets: librarymusichall.com. 8p.m.

Kelly Richey ALTAR BAR Strip District. 412-263-2877. With special guests Mia Z Band & more.

The Bam Margera Experience: F*@k Face Unstoppable featuring Members of CKY

SUNDAY 17 The Pietasters

REX THEATER South Side. 412-381-6811. All ages show. Tickets: greyareaprod.com. 8p.m.

TUESDAY 19

Big Bad Voodoo Daddy ALTAR BAR Strip District. 412-263-2877. With special guests Neon Swing X-Perience & more. Over 21 show. Tickets: ticketfly.com or 1-877-4-FLYTIX. 7p.m.

DANSKO

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BEAUTY AND THE BEAST

NO AMOUNT OF FANTASY OR ADDED DIMENSION CAN MAKE UP FOR THE DREADFUL MISCASTING

{BY HARRY KLOMAN} In Rust and Bone, from the French director Jacques Audiard, Ali (Matthias Schoenaerts), a single father and champion pugilist, goes to live with his sister to find work. His life crosses paths with Stéphanie (Marion Cotillard), a comely orca trainer who’s mauled when an animal goes rogue. (Some extraordinary digital work removes Cotillard’s legs for most of the film.)

TRICK AND

Matthias Schoenaerts and Marion Cotillard

Shot in a verité style, it’s a lugubrious slice of lives about two struggling people in different types of recovery, each searching for a connection in a world that seems to discourage it. They become friends, with benefits, as the courageous Stéphanie learns to live without legs. She also seems to have no limitations, just as the fearful Ali struggles with his soul to cast off his. Why would Stéphanie reach out to Ali, whom she’d only met once, and briefly, before her accident? Did she see the sadness in him as well? This is lovely, I suppose, but also quite contrived, and it renders the characters as much metaphor as human, although the actors gently restore the balance. Every scene in Rust and Bone relates to the one before it, but it’s finally more interesting as a series of moments than as the bittersweet tale it wants to be. In French, with subtitles. Starts Fri., March 15. Harris INFO@STEELCITYMEDIA.COM

The familiar black-andorange monarch butterfly flies thousands of miles in its lifetime, up and down the Pacific coast. Learn more about these beauties, including recent discoveries about their migratory patterns, in the new IMAX film,

The Flight of the Butterflies.

Starts Fri., March 15. Rangos Omnimax, Carnegie Science Center

34

TREAT {BY AL HOFF}

I

T TAKES NERVE to tackle something as

beloved as The Wizard of Oz, well known to most of us from the 1939 film. But director Sam Raimi already survived three iterations of Spider-Man, another cultural touchstone with a rabid fan base. Now Raimi — who in rarer circles is himself beloved for his kinetic and influential Evil Dead trilogy — has teamed up with Disney to give us Oz the Great and Powerful, a prequel to the classic film. Unfortunately, this venture is a mixed bag, a jumble of awesome and awful that cannot be easily separated. In 1905 Kansas, we meet Oscar, a.k.a. Oz (James Franco), a struggling trickster of a magician who, via a hot-air-balloonin-a-tornado, winds up in the Land of Oz. There, he meets a comely witch named Theodora (Mila Kunis), who informs him that the arrival of a wizard named Oz has been foretold. The pair travels to the Emerald City, where Oscar gets caught up in the political machinations between Theodora’s sister, Evanora (Rachel Weisz)

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.13/03.20.2013

Oscar (James Franco) and Glinda (Michelle Williams) make use of bubble transport.

and a witch of the hinterlands named Glinda (Michelle Williams). Too many witches, and the battle lines are drawn: Can Oscar rise above self-interest, back the right witch and put the Land of Oz on the right path?

OZ THE GREAT AND POWERFUL DIRECTED BY: Sam Raimi STARRING: James Franco, Michelle Williams, Mila Kunis, Rachel Weisz In 3-D, in select theaters

What works in Oz is the wondrous world it creates: Like its antecedent, the film begins in black-and-white Kansas, and expands to glorious, widescreen color when the balloon touches down. It’s a candy-colored CGI spectacle, brimming with the familiar (yellow brick road, poppy field) and new, such as vast landscapes filled with forests and waterfalls. The 3-D is well done,

and worth getting the glasses for. On the human side: Williams and Weisz rise above the thin script, delivering entertaining performances. But no amount of fantasy or added dimension can make up for the dreadful miscasting of Oscar and Theodora. At its heart, Oz is about these two characters becoming their true selves, be they good or bad. Franco looks like he’s barely trying, unable to find the happy space between depicting a character inclined to be smarmy and just being smarmy. (Despite his mugging, Franco is upstaged repeatedly by the expressive work of a monkey and a china doll — which, as CGI creations, technically have no faces at all.) Theodora’s critical transformation can best be summed up as Kunis shifting from a role she’s flat at, to a role she is just flat-out terrible at. Oz seems like a cool place to visit, all gorgeous wonders and spooky fun. But no amount of movie magic can make this wizard anybody we’d want to travel with. A H OF F @ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM


FILM CAPSULES CP

7:30 p.m. Wed., March 20. AMC Loews. $5. (AH)

= CITY PAPER APPROVED

NEW THE CALL. A 911 operator gets a call from a kidnapped girl, and realizes the abductor is somebody she once knew. Brad Anderson directs this thriller starring Halle Berry and Abigail Breslin. Starts Fri., March 15. THE GATEKEEPERS. In this compelling documentary, filmmaker Dror Moreh interviews the six surviving former heads of Shin Bet, Israel’s secretive national-security organization, formed in the wake of the Six Days War. Since then, Shin Bet has served through tumultuous times — the West Bank and Gaza occupations, Palestinian unrest, bombings, two intifadas, Jewish extremists, attempted peace processes and the assassination of Prime Minister Rabin. Any student of modern history will mark the fascinating revelations: how the Shin Bet moved from cultivating intelligence through social networks with the Palestinians to being blindsided by their own Jewish countrymen (and sympathetic politicians) to operating remotely, through high-tech weapons. While Israel comprises a unique set of circumstances, viewers can draw parallels with Shin Bet’s evolving mission and numerous aspects of the U.S.’s “war on terror.” Only these six men speak — accompanied by some archival footage — so it’s naturally just one select group of opinions regarding a region and conflict where there is no shortage of other voices. But viewers might be surprised at what is said; it’s not the bombastic chest-thumping one might expect. These men speak frankly of using violence, but most also reflect back with fatalism, and are pessimistic about the future. “The tragedy of Israel’s national-security debates,” concludes one man, “is that we don’t realize we face a frustrating situation, in which we win every battle, but we lose the war.” In Hebrew, with subtitles. Starts Fri., March 15. Manor (Al Hoff)

CP

THE INCREDIBLE BURT WONDERSTONE. It’s magician vs. magician vs. magician in this comedy about a Las Vegas magic act (Steve Carrell, Steve Buscemi), who have their gimmicks stolen by a street illusionist (Jim Carrey). Don Scardino directs. Starts Fri., March 15.

REPERTORY LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS. How do you deal with a singing, man-eating plant? Frank Oz directs this 1986 adaptation of the 1982 OffBroadway musical, itself adapted from a 1960 film. The film stars Rick Moranis and a slew of comic actors, including Steve Martin, John Candy and Bill Murray. 7:30 p.m. Wed., March 13. AMC Loews. $5 CROSS BEARER. A simple drug deal goes wrong when a stripper and some friends break into an old warehouse inhabited by a violent religious maniac. The horror film, written and directed by Adam Ahlbrandt, has its Pittsburgh premiere at WunderSleaze, which also features sideshow acts and bands. 7 p.m. Thu., March 14. Hollywood. $10 in advance (www.showclix. com); $15 at door THE MOB BOSS AND THE SOUL SINGER. It’s a hybrid film sure to please Pittsburghers, in which a soul singer gets tangled up with a mobster. It’s got crime, singing and wrestling great Bruno Sammartino. The film is written and directed

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RUN LOLA RUN. Lola (Franka Potente) has 20 minutes to find and deliver 100,000 Deutsche marks to her boyfriend waiting across town, or he’ll incur the probably fatal wrath of his gangster boss. Yet director Tom Tykwer spins out a clever and entertaining thriller. With a frenetic mix of media — film, video, still photography, animation, techno music — and technique (slow motion, jump-cuts, split screens, color tinting), Lola’s short foot-pounding journey through the Berlin streets is presented three times. Three identical beginnings are altered slightly (Lola trips in one version) so that subsequent events occur on a different timeline and culminate with three wildly different conclusions. Run Lola Run has great fun inverting how thrillers — even arty European thrillers — are expected to end. The 1999 film wraps up a month-long, Sunday-night series of suspense films. In German, with subtitles. 8 p.m. Wed., March 20. Melwood. $2 (AH)

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The We and the I by John Russo, and stars singer Chuck Corby and his band. 8 p.m. Sat., March 16. Hollywood. $10 (tickets available at www.showclix.com)

THE WE AND THE I. In this new film from Michel Gondry (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind), a group of teens from a South Bronx high GREMLINS. The little furry guys sure are cute, but school ride a city bus home on the last day of school. when the rules get broken, hordes of misbehaving As expected, they’re keyed up — loud and obnoxious, gremlins get loose, unleashing comic mayhem on their catcalls and pranks spilling over the seats and a small town. Joe Dante directs this 1984 comedy. across the aisles, irritating the few adult passengers. Midnight, Sat., March 16. Manor Working almost exclusively within the bus, Gondry’s cameras are equally kinetic, bouncing THE AFRICAN QUEEN. Humphrey Bogart and from teen to teen, teasing out a hodgepodge of Katherine Hepburn are the mismatched stories: party planning for a birthday; a couple on this adventurous — and fellow student’s funny YouTube video; romantic — river journey through one girl’s broken relationship with war-torn East Africa. John the bullying alpha male. But Huston directs this popular there’s no real narrative, just 1952 film. 11 a.m. Sun., flashes of insight as these March 17. Breakfast and a various threads unfold and movie screening: Tickets intertwine. The title plays ($15) at www.showclix. on the dreadful paradox com by March 14; of late adolescence — of $7 at the door for just being a newly formed movie. Also, 2 p.m. Thu., individual, but still desiring March 21. Hollywood to belong to a group, even at the cost of the self — STRANGER WITH A and much of the conflict CAMERA. Elizabeth Barret’s revolves around this tension. 2000 documentary examines The kids are pretty noisy The Gatekeepers a contentious set of events and irritating — exactly how in rural Kentucky in 1967, and they can be! — but as the bus what role media might have rolls on, they gradually lose the played in inflaming them. Filmmaker energy to posture and their encounters Hugh O’Connor was documenting various become more revealing. Adolescence is a strata of the U.S., including the impoverished churning soup of horribleness, friendship, discovery Appalachian region. But residents felt they were and disappointment, even in the span of a few being unfairly portrayed, and tensions escalated into moments. The ensemble cast are real Bronx teens, a shooting, in which O’Connor was killed. Live music whom Gondry workshopped this film with, and the from Arlo Aldo in the lobby at 3 p.m. 4 p.m. Sun., authenticity shows (even if the acting is a bit wobbly). March 17. Hollywood The work is filmed in more-or-less real time, with a few Gondry flourishes. He uses cell-phone footage James Stewart loses his grip when he for flashbacks, and even indulges in a spot of stopCP VERTIGO. becomes obsessed with a beautiful blonde (Kim motion animation. (There’s also a notable bending Novak) in Alfred Hitchcock’s 1958 thriller. Conflating of time and space, as this journey through the Bronx sexual desire, memory and deception, Vertigo, shot never seems to end and day turns to night.) in glorious color in the San Francisco Bay area, is Some folks might not find any entertainment in regarded as one of Hitchcock’s finest works. The a two-hour ride with noisy, profane teens, and the film continues a month-long, Sunday-night series film does take some settling into. As a lifelong cityfeaturing Hitchcock’s leading ladies. 8 p.m. Sun., bus rider, I’ve been on this bus more times than I can March 17. Regent Square (AH) count. Now I’m more often the dismayed old person, but I remember how it used to be: School’s out, and WONKA AND THE CHOCOLATE you and your friends are just loud and exaggerated, CP WILLY FACTORY. Mel Stuart’s 1971 adaptation of because everything about you has to be so fascinating Roald Dahl’s story is heartwarming without being to all those other boring people on the bus with you. gooey and still deliciously weird. It’s a slow set-up Been there, loved this. Screens as part of CMU’s Faces while we wait out all the winners of the trip into of Media film fest, followed by a reception. 7:15 p.m. Wonka’s secret candy factory — but once inside, Thu., March 21. Melwood. $15 ($10 seniors/students). the wonder, wackiness and even danger begin! The www.cmu.edu/faces (AH) sets are wonderful color-saturated structures, free from the dumb special effects that date other older LONG DISTANCE REVOLUTIONARY: A JOURNEY fantasy films. As Wonka, Gene Wilder is a delight, WITH MUMIA ABU-JAMAL. Stephen Vittoria’s new warm yet somehow malevolent. He doesn’t seem to documentary profiles the life and impact of the care at all when bratty kids disappear. Sure, he says political activist, now serving life in prison. 7:30 p.m. they’re coming back … What wicked pleasure to see Thu., March 21; 7:30 p.m. Sat., March 23; and 7 p.m. irksome kids just vanish into psychedelic machinery. Sun., March 24. Hollywood

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FACES OF MEDIA {BY AL HOFF} Faces of Media is the theme for the annual Carnegie Mellon International Film Festival, running from March 21 through April 13. The 14 recent films deal with how media is shaping our culture, whether through the use of social media as an activist tool, the pervasiveness of self-documentation or even the humanrights costs built into our gadgets. The following films are scheduled for March: The We and the I, a fresh take on Bronx adolescents, from Michel Gondry (March 21); Crocodile in the Yangtze, a documentary about China’s first Internet entrepreneur (March 22); and the Israeli social-media examination InContact (March 23). Also screening on March 24 are docs about over-fishing (Sushi: The Global Catch) and Egypt (Tahrir: Liberation Square). The first week of April sees three docs: Blood in the Mobile (April 3), about mining in Congo; Gaamer (April 4), a profile of a Ukrainian computer gamer; and a year at Los Angeles’ Fame High (April 6), a performing-arts school. April 7 offers Fragments of a Revolution, in which emails and video are compiled from Iranian protests; and Hello! How Are You?, a Spanish feature film about a middle-aged couple who explore internet chat rooms.

Blood in the Mobile

The last week wraps up with: Abendland (April 10), an essay about life at night; You’ve Been Trumped (April 10), in which a Scottish town fights against Donald Trump’s golf course; the Finnish punk-band doc The Punk Syndrome (April 11); The Ballad of Genesis and Lady Jaye (April 12), a doc about a British avantgarde musician and his wife’s quests to merge their identities; and Back to the Square (April 13), a catch-up with participants in the Tahrir Square protests. AHOFF@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

Films screen at McConomy Auditorium, on CMU’s Oakland campus, as well as Pittsburgh Filmmakers’ Melwood Screening Room and Regent Square Theater. Admission is $8 ($5 for students and seniors); a festival pass is also available ($50/$25). Many films will feature director Q&As, guest speakers and receptions. For more information, see www.cmu.edu/faces. +

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[DANCE REVIEW]

CLASSIC TRIO

“WE’RE THESE FETAL APES.”

{BY STEVE SUCATO}

INFO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

Pittsburgh Ballet Theatre’s UNSPOKEN continues Thu., March 14, through Sun., March 17. August Wilson Center, 980 Liberty Ave., Downtown. $25.75-68.75. 412-456-6666 or www.pbt.org

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[BOOK] Luca Sbrizzi and Alexandra Kochis in “Jardin Aux Lilas (Lilac Garden)” {PHOTO COURTESY OF RICH SOFRANKO}

A triple bill worthy of the world’s foremost ballet companies, Pittsburgh Ballet Theatre’s Unspoken unites three masterworks by three master choreographers into one gem of a program. This past Sunday’s performance at the August Wilson Center began with George Balanchine’s iconic “Serenade” (1935). The opening was stunning, the curtain rising on 17 female dancers in long tulle skirts and pointe shoes arranged in two adjoining diamonds, each with one arm outstretched, palm outward. The work offered many elegant movement phrases, some culled from the great story ballets (Giselle, Swan Lake) and some derived from mistakes made during its creation. Through to its striking ending — with dancer Julia Erickson lifted by three male dancers to stand atop one’s shoulders, and be carried slowly toward a mysterious light — “Serenade” exemplified the very definition of balletic beauty and grace. Set to Tchaikovsky’s brilliant Serenade for Strings in C, Op. 48, the ballet is fastpaced and technically unforgiving. For the most part, PBT’s dancers proved more than capable, especially the three female leads: Erickson, Alexandra Kochis and Elysa Hotchkiss. But the female corps de ballet (which included upper-level students from the PBT’s school) at times looked out of sync. Antony Tudor’s 1936 classic “Jardin Aux Lilas (Lilac Garden)” followed. It told the story of Caroline (Kochis), a woman betrothed to a man (Robert Moore) she does not love. A moonlit farewell party for the couple in a lilac garden set the scene for a last encounter with the man (Luca Sbrizzi) whom Caroline does love, as well as “an episode” involving a woman (Erickson) from her husband-to-be’s past. Set to a score by Ernest Chausson and performed masterfully by PBT’s dancers, Tudor’s expressive choreography played out like a silent film. The cast of Edwardian-era characters streamed through expertly crafted dance phrases, creating textural layers that added to the ballet’s recurrent images of love and longing. Mark Morris’ “Drink to Me Only With Thine Eyes” (1988), set to Virgil Thomson’s “Etudes for piano” and played recordperfect live by pianist Yoland Colin, was a Pittsburgh premiere. Morris took academic ballet steps and cleverly twisted them into a quirky, satisfying flirtation to conclude PBT’s stellar program.

HUMAN

EXPERIMENT {BY {B Y BI B BILL LLL O O’DRISCOLL} ’D DRI RISC SCOL OLL} L}

T

HE PAST ISN’T what it used to be. Especially in paleoanthropology, a discipline constantly adapting to new fossil finds and, lately, improved DNA testing. Things change this fast: Chip Walter’s engaging new book, Last Ape Standing (Walker and Company), is based largely on research released just since publication of his 2007 book about human evolution, Thumbs, Toes and Tears. If your knowledge of how humans developed was gleaned any earlier than that, Last Ape Standing holds some surprises. For one, the number of known human species is up to 27 — not just early humans like australopithecus afarensis (including the famous “Lucy”) and homo heidelbergensis, and later beings like Neanderthals, but several discovered while Walter was researching this book. “Clearly, there were all kinds of humans all over the planet,” says Walter in an interview. Meanwhile, species once regarded as our direct ancestors, such as homo habilis, are now considered

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.13/03.20.2013

{PHOTO COURTESY OF RICHARD KELLY PHOTOGRAPHY}

Author Chip Walter

dead branches on the family tree. What’s more, scientists say, after our species arose 200,000 years ago, we actually shared the Earth with several other human species; some of them even mated with us. And that interbreeding happened largely during the past 50,000 years or so, after homo sapiens survived a catastrophic event that reduced their numbers to as few as 2,000 individuals in Africa. Walter, of Squirrel Hill, is a documentary filmmaker, former CNN bureau chief and veteran science writer who runs the entertaining, anthropology-themed website allthingshuman.net. The more he learned about other human species — all of them clever, some with brains bigger than ours — the more he wondered, “What made us a success?” “Success,” of course,

is conditional: Did homo erectus, who lasted more than 1.5 million years, “fail”? After all, if we manage to survive another hard-toimagine 5,000 years, in anthropological terms it will barely extend our tenure. Still, we outlasted Neanderthals, whose number and range once far exceeded ours. We’ve also outlived such recent discoveries as the Denisovans of Siberia, the diminutive “hobbits” (homo floresiensis) of Indonesia, and China’s Red Deer Cave People. The likely reason, Walter learned by combing through hundreds of scientific papers, has a certain irony. Some 2 million years ago, climate change shrank the African rainforest, and to survive on the growing savannah, some primates evolved to walk upright. Physiologically, that required narrower hips, which meant a narrower birth canal. But brains were getting bigger, too. To compensate, we effectively evolved for premature birth. “If we were to be born as mature as a baby gorilla is, we would have to be in the womb 20 months,” Walter says. “That would clearly be unacceptable to your mother.” Instead, “[w]e’re


Love changes all. Not always for the better. Puccini’s

TAND S R E UND D: R O W Y EVERtexts projected

! h Englis e the stage v abo

Campaign by Creme Fraiche Design. Photo: David Bachman.

these fetal apes. We can’t hold our heads up, we can’t see very well, we need to be fed.” The upside: “The vast majority of our brain development … takes place outside the womb.” Childhood for homo sapiens was even longer than those of other humans. That made possible more experiential learning, and therefore more cultural development: fire, better tools — even the social structures required to protect helpless human infants. The survival challenge of “premature” birth spurred our greatest assets. Homo sapiens, geneticists say, nearly went extinct about 75,000 years ago, following a volcanic eruption or other catastrophe. But we survived, and rapidly spread into Europe, Asia and beyond. It’s fun to speculate, as Walter does in Last Ape, on how encounters between the different human species we met there went. But Walter says that the idea that homo sapiens simply wiped out Neanderthals and other human species is misguided. “It’s really just that the world was really tough, and was hammering on all of them,” he says. “And we, just by the luck of genetics and evolution, developed these tools largely because of our long childhood that made us better at adapting. We became the creature that could adapt the landscape to us, rather than a creature that had to adapt to the landscape.” But before outliving certain other species, we hooked up. In 2010, Germany’s Max Planck Society announced that DNA evidence suggests that Neanderthals and homo sapiens interbred — and that most non-Africans today have a little Neanderthal in them. “That blew everybody’s mind,” says Walter. “That’s where some of our red hair and freckles come from.” Last Ape Standing also cites DNA evidence suggesting homo sapiens bred with homo erectus — perhaps as recently as 25,000 years ago, or 50,000 years after erectus was thought to have gone extinct. Like Thumbs, Toes and Tears, Last Ape concludes by asking where human evolution is bound. With technology accelerating, says Walter, “We’ve created this planet we’re becoming aliens in. … How do we adapt?” “We’re going to morph into some other creature, but I’m not sure we’ll even be aware of it when it happens,” he says. “I don’t think a Neanderthal was necessarily aware that it was going to happen when they switched over from being homo heidelbergensis. … But at some moment, enough changes that you are a new species.” This time, he speculates, nanotechnology and genetic engineering will allow us to control that evolution: “It’s going to be a wild ride.”

Get audio & video at pittsburghopera.org

OPENS SATURDAY! MARCH 16, 19, 22, 24 Benedum Center Tickets start at $10 412-456-6666 pittsburghopera.org

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[PLAY REVIEWS]

HAIR-TIGHT {BY MICHELLE PILECKI} DISCONTENT WITH hair is just the beginning of the female self-image problem. Oh, I remember only too well the scorching heat and burning chemicals used to try to force some semblance of a curl into my resistant locks. Noted local actresspoet-playwright Kim El channels that and many other memories in her autobiographical one-woman play, Straightening Combs, presented by Pittsburgh Playwrights Theatre Co.

STRAIGHTENING COMBS continues through March 31. Pittsburgh Playwrights Theatre Co., 937 Liberty Ave., Downtown. $15-25. www.pghplaywrights.com {PHOTO COURTESY OF DAVID CONLEY}

Kim El in Straightening Combs

Directed by veteran actress Chrystal Bates, Combs combines period photos, vintage songs, history and legend with poetry and personal testimony about the arduous journey to self-fulfillment. For El, it wasn’t just the world telling her that colored/Negro/black/African-American

skin, faces, hair — everything — was ugly, but also the “inferior” and “lowlife” labels slapped on residents of public housing, a.k.a. The Projects. The story Kim El enlivens and shares is that despite hard work, talent, a supportive family and a college degree, she suffered

MCKEESPORT LITTLE THEATER PRESENTS...

LEND ME A TENOR A COMEDY-FARCE WRITTEN BY KEN LUDWIG DIRECTED BY - CORY MCCAFFERY SIGLER

MARCH 15, 16, 17, 22, 23, 24, 2013 Friday & Saturday performances at 8:00pm. Sunday matinees at 2:00pm. TICKETS CK S AR ARE $$15.00, 00 $$7.00 00 FOR OR SSTUDENTS D N S GROUP RATES AVAILABLE. HANDICAPPED ACCESSIBLE.

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bad choices, domestic abuse and clinical depression. Breaking out of this chrysalis of pain into mature happiness and selfrespect is the climax, with a few final notes of joy. This is Kim El’s game. She takes dramatic turns playing the various women in her life, including herself as a little girl and a solicitous hooker, as well as some of the messed-up men who messed her up physically and psychologically. The spare stage uses two different-sized ladders (get the symbolism, right?) for a variety of settings. Classic soul and pop songs help to ease the delay for costume changes. Helping to expand Kim El’s vision is the design team: Cheryl El-Walker, costumes and makeup; Diane Melchitzky, set; Isabelle Strollo, projections; Thurston Reyes, light; Mark Whitehead, sound; as well as stage manager David Scott, prop master David Conley and drummer Maurice Redwood. Though it occasionally veers toward the didactic, Straightening Combs provides a serious and satisfying experience.

love / is letting go.” Children of Eden is a show about parenthood and the impossible idea that every child will eventually leave home and become a parent in their own time, a cycle that never ends. The production smartly allows the same performers to play two roles — Adam returns in the second act as Noah — making the message abundantly clear. As the Father of all things, Brady Patsy holds the ambitious show together with a rich baritone. We can be reasonably thankful that he decided to create Eve, played by Emily Lynne Miller, who shines in “The Spark of Creation” and a startling gospel number, “Ain’t It Good.” The second act forms a marvelous self-contained account of Noah’s flood, lifted by a magnetic performance from Liz Kasun as Yonah, a stowaway on the ark.

INF O @PGH C IT YPAPE R . C O M

THE BEGINNING {BY MATTHEW ZURCHER} STEPHEN SCHWARTZ, the composer and lyricist who struck gold with Wicked, is particularly fond of his most personal project — Children of Eden. Pittsburgh Musical Theater’s new production of Eden is a mixed bag of striking performances, trite production choices and undeniably spectacular music. Children of Eden draws its subject directly from the Book of Genesis. It begins with the Creation and works its way through Noah and the flood. But like any narrative where everyone knows the ending, the story isn’t the reason you’re there. Schwartz fashions a compelling thematic structure out of deliberate repetitions which the production communicated deftly.

CHILDREN OF EDEN continues through Sun., March 17. Byham Theater, 101 Sixth St., Downtown. $12.25-44.75. 412-456-6666 or www.pittsburghmusicals.com

{PHOTO COURTESY OF PATTI BRAHIM}

Emily Lynne Miller and Nathan Sudie (as Eve and Adam) in Pittsburgh Musical Theater’s Children of Eden

The production itself is less laudable. Director Ken Gargaro manages to harness the energy of his enormous cast with Lion King-like impressionism. Unfortunately, someone found it necessary to place an obnoxious screen behind the stage that does nothing but show didactic greetingcard images and vague emotional signifiers, rather than trusting the huge ensemble to do the work. On the other hand, the orchestra, led by music director Brent Alexander, performs with reliable grace. I N F O@ P G H C I T Y PA P E R. C OM

Noah has a song in the second act called “Hardest Part of Love,” that sums up the show’s thesis in a couple of lines — “But you cannot close the acorn / once the oak begins to grow / and you cannot close your heart / to what it fears and needs to know / that the hardest part of

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.13/03.20.2013

TWO FOR ONE {BY MICHELLE PILECKI} THE 12 PEERS THEATER bills these two

largely unrelated plays as “A Pair of Killer One-Acts,” which attests to the compa-


“TALK ABOUT THE PASSION” AND “SUSTENANCE” continue through Sun., March 17. 12 Peers Theater at ModernFormations Gallery, 4919 Penn Ave., Garfield. $15-20. 412-496-2194 or www.12peerstheater.org

Director Ventura fills the entire space with “Sustenance” and speed. (He also designed and co-built both sets.) Anchoring the show are John Feightner as a macabre narrator and sound-effects guy, and the special effects by Tolin FX. Nathaniel LeDoux, playing a man who’s paralyzed, does a remarkable job at not moving a muscle even while reacting to the surprising secrets of his lifelong buddies, energetically played by Blandino and Mayer. Occasionally breaking into the homicidal humor are Roday’s pokes at theater and actors in general, via the versatile Sara Fisher in particular. “Killer,” maybe. But these one-acts do deliver some punches. And fake blood. For real. Consider yourself warned about the “splash zone.” INFO@ PGHC ITY PAP ER.CO M

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RV WORLDS {BY ROBERT RACZKA}

Stephen Chalmers’ photo of Everett “Insane Wayne” Smith (age 58)

ny’s high opinion of (or hopes for) their Pittsburgh premieres. While death does indeed underlie both pieces, they could not be more wildly different. Unrelated (as far as I can tell) to REM’s 1983 song of the same name, “Talk About the Passion” works as a tight psychological thriller. Success on that level is no mean feat, though Graham Farrow’s 2004 play tries for more depth, digging into such issues as all-consuming revenge, solipsistic greed and the public’s voyeuristic passion for depravity. Discussing plot points would spoil the fun. Peers’ artistic director Vince Ventura paces the tension well, perfectly compressed onto the minuscule stage. Jonathan Blandino and Maggie Mayer are the nicely matched combatants, even when swallowing their “English” accents. Next we change not only gears, but universes. “Passion” is no-nonsense, straight-ahead theater. Also from 2004, “Sustenance” is no-stops-unpulled outrageousness with big gobs of stage business and buckets of fake blood. Playwright James Roday, whose day job is a movie/TV star (most notably with USA Network’s Psych, for which he also writes and directs), has created a bizarre, dark and sometimes precious comedy. The “plot,” such as it is, is far less important than the special effects and high theatrics that whack the audience.

Stephen Chalmers’ Transience, at Pittsburgh Center for the Arts, focuses on Westerners who fall into two demographics: snowbirds and desert rats, loosely linked by the fact that they reside in homes designed to be mobile. Chalmers, who recently relocated to Youngstown, Ohio, works in a documentary vein, and his thoughtfully considered and composed images are packed with sociological detail. Petroleum-fueled mobility was a mythicized promise of postwar America, and Chalmers looks at today’s resultant communities, which appear to consist of fairly isolated individuals. Concentrating on the Southern California and Arizona desert, the exhibit consists of 13 not-quite-diptych pairs of individually framed color photographs. One of each pair is a posed portrait of people in compact homes, and the other depicts nearby or representative surroundings. The photographs are by no means condescending, but there is a presumably intentional weirdness to the portraits and landscapes alike. Half of the portraits depict “snowbirds,” typically middle-class Midwestern retirees who head southwest for the winter in RVs or towed trailers. Shown perched amid overstuffed furniture, flat-screen TVs and mementos of a conventional and presumably rewarding life, they generally appear self-possessed, though shoehorned into crowded seasonal homes. The remaining portraits depict yearround residents sometimes known as “desert rats”: lower-middle-class (if that) eccentrics living on the margins, in mobile homes that appear to be immobile. This group is similarly photographed with a wide-angle lens in small spaces, surrounded by their accumulated belongings, but it’s a whole other story of scavenged materials, leaky roofs and sidelong glances. Mobile or stationary, all seem to have more stuff than places to put it. In the case of the snowbirds, that’s because shopping is a way of life. In the case of the desert rats, it’s because you never know when you might find a use for something. Several of the landscape images depict the Salton Sea — a bizarre, 35-mile-long lake formed by accident 100 years ago — along with clusters of trailers and RVs, and such photogenic subjects as a burning mobile home or a sun-raked pet cemetery. The theme appears to be isolation and loneliness, with not an interaction nor a community space in sight. As with most reports on life on the periphery, the strangeness of it (to our eyes, anyway) is the point. INFO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

STEPHEN CHALMERS: TRANSIENCE continues through April 7. Pittsburgh Center for the Arts, 6300 Fifth Ave., Shadyside. 412-361-0873 or www.pittsburgharts.org

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CALL FOR ARTISTS OF THE AFRICAN DIASPORA Be a part of Showcase Noir: An Arts and Crafts show featuring fine art, pottery, fiber art, jewelry, woodwork, metal, etc. The artist must create all submissions, nothing purchased for resale. The Showcase Noir exhibit is part of the Pittsburgh JazzLive International Festival and held right in the middle of downtown Pittsburgh’s Cultural District in a tented gallery. The renowned Three Rivers Arts Festival is running simultaneously so your art will be exposed to tens of thousands of people. Showcase Noir will be held JUNE 8-9, 2013 and is a project of the Pittsburgh Cultural Trust’s Department of Education and Community Engagement.

DEADLINE FOR SUBMISSIONS: APRIL 20, 2013 TO APPLY FOR SHOWCASE NOIR: CALLFORENTRY.ORG For more info Contact Dr. Tameka Cage-Conley at 412-471-6079 or email trustarts.org/education

THIS WEEKEND!

THE WIZARD of OZ the classic film with orchestra MARCH

14-17 FOLLOW THE

YELLOW BRICK ROAD TO HEINZ HALL

FOR TICKETS, CALL 412.392.4900 OR VISIT PITTSBURGHSYMPHONY.ORG GROUPS OF 10+ CALL 412.392.4819

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FOR THE WEEK OF

03.1403.21.13

FOR INFORMATION ON HOW TO SUBMIT LISTINGS AND PRESS RELEASES, CALL 412.316.3342 X161.

MARCH 16

The Th h Blue Bl Bl Stocking Babes

+ THU., MARCH 14 {EVENT} Pi Day, that mythical holiday from grade-school math, undergoes a grown-up transformation in The Carnegie Science Center’s No Kids Night. The 21-and-up event marking (approximately) 3.14 includes access to all Science Center exhibits, from SeaScape to the Miniature Railroad and Village and Roboworld, as well as hands-on science demonstra-

tions. And because it’s held in conjunction with the neighboring Rivers Casino, there’s also a cash bar, slots, a prize wheel, live music and more. Jeff Ihaza 6 p.m. North Side. $10-15. 412-237-3400 or www. CarnegieScienceCenter.org

{WORDS} Cleveland-born, Pittsburghbased author Aubrey Hirsch’s work has appeared in literary journals like American Short Fiction and Rumpus. Her new short-story collection is Why

We Never Talk About Sugar. In these 16 stories — the second offering from local outfit Braddock Avenue Books — Hirsch enters the souls of lonely women, broken men, dutiful daughters, military recruits and more. At tonight’s book launch, she reads selections from her work at East End Book Exhange. JI 7 p.m. 4754 Liberty Ave., Bloomfield. Free. www.eastendbook exchange.com

+ SAT., MARCH 16 {ART}

MARCH 14

Aubrey Hirsch

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Americans have never been big on living small, but two artists think they’ve found an upside to the down economy. Austerity and SelfSustainability is the title of the new site-specific exhibition at Fe Gallery by local mixedmedia artist John Eastman and Donovan Widmer, a University of North Dakota professor and internationally exhibited artist who incorporates metalworking into his found-materials assemblages. The idea is that “minimalist living” can actually be healthier and more enjoyable. And you already know it’s cheaper. The opening reception is tonight. BO 7 p.m. 4102 Butler St., Lawrenceville. Free. www.fegallery.org


sp otlight

Was modern-dance pioneer Ruth St. Denis a racist? St. Denis (1880–1968) introduced Eastern culture into Western dance. For her famous “Oriental” dances of the early 1900s, she donned makeup to change the color of her skin a la Al Jolson, and costumed herself based on museum photographs. In his latest dance work, Ruth Doesn’t Live Here Anymore, Santa Monica-based dancer/choreographer Lionel Popkin uses St. Denis’ career to explore the appropriation and misappropriation of other cultures into Western dance and how we perceive the confluence of those cultures on stage. “I became interested in what the markers are that let us know what we are seeing is a cultural exchange,” says Popkin, who is of South Asian descent. “Is it the costumes, the music or something else?” The hour-long multimedia trio set to an original score for accordion and violin by Pittsburgh native Guy Klucevsek (played live) neither celebrates nor bashes St. Denis, says Popkin. The former Trisha Brown Dance Company dancer references his cultural heritage in his nationally and internationally seen works. He sees St. Denis’ approach to Asian cultures in her works as being a product of her times. While not a fan of her approach, he is respectful of St. Denis’ extraordinary career. Steve Sucato 8 p.m. Fri., March 15, and 8 p.m. Sat., March 16. Kelly-Strayhorn Theater, 5941 Penn Ave., East Liberty. $15-35. 412-363-3000 or www.kelly-strayhorn.org

{OPERA} World-class talents headline Pittsburgh Opera’s new Madama Butterfly. American tenor Bryan Hymel, making his Pittsburgh Opera debut as American naval officer Pinkerton, is already booked to sing the role next season at the Met. And the tragic Cio-Cio San is sung by Italian soprano Maria Luigia Borsi, who’s drawn raves in the part at the Royal Danish Opera and elsewhere. Puccini’s 1904 classic is directed by Crystal Manich, with Jean-Luc Tingaud

Fogle, Tamara Siegert and Molly Bain are the ladies of The Blue Stocking Babes, billed as “Pittsburgh’s first all-girl long-form improv troupe,” with modes from zany to serious. The group plays late-night tonight at the brand-new Arcade Comedy Theater, with improv colleagues Player One and headliner Aaron Kleiber. Next Friday, the Babes occupy their regular venue, Shadyside’s Steel City Improv Theater. BO 10 p.m. (811 Liberty Ave., Downtown; $5-10; www.arcadecomedy

{PHOTO COURTESY OF MICHAEL O’SHEA}

MARCH 21

Juan De Marcos & The AfroCuban All Stars

conducting. It’s sung in the original Italian, with lyrics above the stage. The first of four performances at the Benedum Center is tonight. BO 8 p.m. Continues through Sun., March 24. 719 Liberty Ave., Downtown. $10-195.75. 412-456-6666 or www. pittsburghopera.org

{COMEDY} With Pittsburgh’s comedy scene newly burgeoning, one group marks its second anniversary with shows this weekend and next. Ayne Terceira, Keara Kelly, Beth

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theater.com). SCIT: 8 p.m. Fri., March 22 (Shadyside; $5; www.steelcityimprov.com)

+ MON., MARCH 18 {WORDS} Paula McLain, bestselling author of The Paris Wife, speaks at Carnegie Music Hall tonight as part of Pittsburgh Arts & Lectures’s Literary Evenings series. The Paris Wife tells the heartbreaking tale of Hemingway’s relationship with his first wife, Hadley Richardson. McLain’s novel

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topped several best-of lists in 2011, including NPR and The Chicago Tribune. Tonight’s lecture also marks Pittsburgh’s recent selection as fourth most literate city in the United States, and will feature raffles and prizes. JI 7:30 p.m. 4400 Forbes Ave., Oakland. $1525. 412-622-8866 or www. pittsburghlectures.org

+ TUE., MARCH 19 {WORDS} Noted record-collector and folklorist Ian Nagoski visits to tell us what we can learn from old 78s. The Widow’s Joy: Pride, Genius, Grief & Lies from International 78 RPM Recordings is the title of today’s free talk by the Baltimore-based Nagoski, who specializes in non-Englishlanguage recordings from the early 20th century. The lecture, at Carnegie Mellon University, encompasses musicians famous and obscure, those classified as both “classical” and “folk,” and all with illuminating stories to tell and rare sounds on offer. BO 4:30 p.m. Giant Eagle Auditorium, CMU campus, Oakland. Free. www.cmu.edu/cas

+ WED., MARCH 20 {STAGE} Hard to pass up an opportunity to tell you that The Guerrilla Girls are in town. This anonymous group of feminist performers has spent decades battling sexism in the art world, all while wearing gorilla masks. Tonight, in conversation with Carnegie Museum of Art director Lynn Zelevansky, the Girls provocatively ask, What Are Museums For? And on Thursday, they lead a tour of the Carnegie Museum of

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{ART} Animator Bill Plympton, known for his music videos, Oscar-nominated shorts and feature films like 2008’s Angels and Idiots, visits The Toonseum for the March 15 opening of The Art of Bill Plympton. The exhibit highlights his next feature, Cheatin’, his first foray into digital coloration (though he still hand-draws every frame). Later that night, he’ll screen some of his short works at Point Park University, and on Saturday hold an animation workshop. At CP’s request, the New York-based Plympton annotated one of his frames (above). Bill O’Driscoll Fri., March 15: 6 p.m. opening reception (945 Liberty Ave., Downtown) and 8 p.m. screening (GRW Theater, 414 Wood St., Downtown); $10 (screening only: $5). Workshop: 3:30 p.m. Sat., March 16 (GRW Theater; $15-25, includes free Plympton drawing). www.toonseum.org Natural History’s Empowering Women exhibition. BO 7 p.m. ($10-15). Exhibit tour: 4 p.m. Thu., March 21. 4400 Forbes Ave., Oakland. 412-661-3131 or www.cmoa.org

Cuban All Stars have been in the vanguard of making Afro-Cuban music popular worldwide. This multigenerational big band — 11 pieces, including brass, percussion, piano and vocalists — performs a variety of Latin dance music, from mambo, cha cha and rumba to son montuno, timba, guajira and bolero. They’re led by

+ THU., MARCH 21 {MUSIC} Juan De Marcos & The Afro-

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De Marcos, known for his decades of work with the Buena Vista Social Club and other luminaries. Tonight’s performance is part of Cohen & Grigsby Trust Presents Series in conjunction with the Pittsburgh Cultural Trust. JI 7:30 p.m. 980 Liberty Ave. Downtown. $23. 412-456-6666 or www.trustarts.org

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{ALL LISTINGS MUST BE SUBMITTED BY 9 A.M. FRIDAY PRIOR TO PUBLICATION}

BAND NIGHT Every Thursday!

IZZY & CATASTROPHICS PLUS TURPENTINERS (FORMER WAYNE HANCOCK GUITARIST)

FRI, MAR 15 • 9PM ROCK/JAZZ

MIKE DILLON BAND

MARCH 14

SAT, MAR 16

THE VAN ALLEN BELT, MODERN LIFE, BURRA

MARCH 21 DEVILS CUT, MYSTIC COWBOYZ, STONE COLD KILLER MARCH 27 DETECTIVE (LA), BRASS CHARIOT, THE RED WESTERN $1.75 PBR Drafts Everyday 9-11

2204 E. CARSON ST. (412) 431-5282

ST. PATRICKS DAY PARADE KICKOFF WITH THE BEAGLE

BROTHERS

(CLASSIC COUNTRY) 8AM AND BREWERS ROW (FOLK ROCK) 9PM

JAMESON AND GUINNESS SPECIALS ALL DAY! MON, MAR 18 • 9:30PM

OPEN STAGE WITH CRAIG KING TUES, MAR 19 • 9PM JAZZ SPACE EXCHANGE SERIES FEATURING

OPEK

OPEN FOR LUNCH Kitchen hours: M-Th: 11am-12am Fri & Sat: 11am-1am Sun: 11am-11pm

4023 BU TLER ST LAWREN CEVILLE 41 2.682.0177

www.thunderbirdcafe.net

FRIDAY AND SATURDAY NIGHTS

VIDEO DJ’S

10:30PM -2AM

Pens Games g n ri u d TS IN P T H $3 MILLER LIG RDAY NIGHT TU A S T H FRIDAY NIG Clique Vodka Pinnacle Vodka Drinks for $3

Drinks for $3

TO SUBMIT A LISTING: HTTP://HAPPENINGS.PGHCITYPAPER.COM 412.316.3388 (FAX) + 412.316.3342 X161 (PHONE)

THEATER THE 39 STEPS. A spy thriller/ comedy based on Alfred Hitchcock’s 1935 classic. Fri, Sat. Thru March 16. Comtra Theatre, Cranberry. 724-591-8727. BREATH & IMAGINATION. The story of Roland Hayes, the 1st African-American classical vocalist to be heard around the world. Tue-Sun. Thru March 31. City Theatre, South Side. 412-431-2489. H.M.S. PINAFORE. A Captain’s daughter falls in love w/ a lowly sailor. Presented by The Pittsburgh Savoyards. Thu-Sun. Thru March 17. Andrew Carnegie Free Library Music Hall, Carnegie. 412-734-8476. LEND ME A TENOR. Opera comedy by Ken Ludwig. Fri-Sun. Thru March 24. McKeesport Little Theater, McKeesport. 412-673-1100. LOOKING FOR THE PONY. Eloisa is ready to leave a lifeless career to pursue a childhood dream when her sister Lauren is diagnosed with cancer. Thu-Sat. Thru March 16.

Off the Wall Theater, Carnegie. 724-873-3576. O’ MALLEY’S IRISH PUB: AN ORIGINAL IRISH TALE. Irish cabaret presented by Enchante Cabaret. Sun., March 17, 4 p.m. Strand Theater, Zelienople. 724-742-0400. RABBIT HOLE. A drama by David Lindsay-Abaire. March 15-17 and March 19-23. Butler Little Theatre, Butler. 724-287-6781. STRAIGHTENING COMBS. Kim El’s 1-woman show about the repercussions of low self-esteem & overcoming depression in urban America. Thru March 31. Pittsburgh Playwrights Theatre, Downtown. TALK ABOUT THE PASSION, SUSTENANCE. Two 1-act plays centered around serial killers. Presented by 12 Peers Theater. Fri-Sun. Thru March 17. ModernFormations Gallery, Garfield. 412-362-0274. THURGOOD. The life story of Thurgood Marshall, first African-American Supreme Court Justice. Tue-Sun. Thru April 7.

{BY ERIC LIDJI}

O’Reilly Theater, Downtown. 412-316-1600. BILL BENDEN, BILL SCOTT, A TUNA CHRISTMAS. A sequel JOE EBERLE. Burgettstown to the comedy Greater Tuna. Men’s Fast Pitch League Funny Fri-Sun. Thru March 24. New Fundraiser. 6:30 p.m. Langeloth Castle Playhouse, New Castle. Community Center, Burgettstown. 412-429-7783. 724-654-3437. ERIC BUSS. Comic magician. THE VAGINA MONOLOGUES. 8 p.m. Strand Theater, Presented by Got Consent?, Zelienople. Point Park University’s 724-742-0400. safe sex group. All FOSTER CARE proceeds go to COMEDY Pittsburgh Action www. per FUNDRAISER. a p Against Rape. Sat., pghcitym 9 p.m. Hambone’s, o .c March 16, 1 & 7:30 p.m. Lawrenceville. Point Park University, 412-681-4318. Downtown. 412-392-3171. FRIDAY NIGHT STAND-UP. YOU SAY TOMATO, I SAY SHUT Fri, 9 p.m. Thru March 29 Toros UP! A 21st century love story. Performance Lounge, Friendship. Wed-Sun. Thru May 5. Cabaret 412-657-4245. at Theater Square, Downtown. MATT WOHLFARTH & FRIENDS. 412-325-6769. Shaler Inline Hockey fundraiser. 8 p.m. Jockey Club Hall, Etna. 412-781-9830. MIKE WYSOCKI. 8 & 10 p.m. Arcade Comedy Theater, Downtown. 412-339-0608. COMEDY OPEN MIC. Thu, PITTSBURGH COMEDY 9 p.m. Thru March 28 Hambone’s, SHOWCASE W/ MIKE WYSOCKI. Lawrenceville. 412-681-4318. Fri, 9 p.m. Corner Cafe, South Side. 412-488-2995. TOM ANZALONE, DAVID MICHAEL, DAVID KAYE. 6 p.m. DoubleTree Hotel - Green Tree, Green Tree. 412-276-3151.

FRI 15

FULL LIST ONLINE

COMEDY THU 14

PUBLICNOTICES P UB L I C NOT IC E S @PG H C IT YPAPE R . C O M

THUR, MAR 14 • 9PM SWING/ROCKABILLY

FRI 15 - SAT 16

FRANK CALIENDO. March 15-16 The Improv, Waterfront. 412-462-5233. MIKE MALONE. March 15-16 Latitude 40, North Fayette. 412-693-5555.

SAT 16

AARON KLEIBER. 8 & 10 p.m. Arcade Comedy Theater, Downtown. 412-339-0608. I WISH I WAS IRISH COMEDY JAM. 8 p.m. Casey’s Restaurant, Allison Park. 310-909-6446. STUNT LAB. Comedic stunts, yo-yo tricks, more. 8 p.m. Strand Theater, Zelienople. 724-742-0400.

SUN 17

BRIAN REGAN. 7 p.m. Palace Theatre, Greensburg. 724-836-8000.

MON 18

TOTALLY FREE MONDAYS. Mon, 8 p.m. Steel City Improv Theater, Shadyside. 412-404-2695.

TUE 19

1060 Settlers Ridge Center Drive - Robinson Township CadillacRanchGroup.com

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Find us on Facebook: Cadillac Ranch Pittsburgh

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.13/03.20.2013

OPEN MIC STAND UP COMEDY NITE. Hosted by Derek Minto & John Pridmore. Tue, 9:30 p.m. Smiling Moose, South Side. 412-612-4030. CONTINUES ON PG. 43


Cooperatives that Transform Communities. Folk art objects illustrating the power of women BugWorks. Feat. beautiful photography of insects, amazing specimens, & live bugs! Ongoing: Earth Revealed, Dinosaurs In Their Time, more. Oakland. 412-622-3131. CARNEGIE SCIENCE CENTER. Ongoing: Buhl Digital Dome (planetarium), Miniature Railroad and Village, USS Requin submarine, and more. North Side. 412-237-3400. CONNEY M. KIMBO GALLERY. University of Pittsburgh Jazz Exhibit: Memorabilia & Awards from the International Hall of Fame. Oakland. 412-648-7446. FALLINGWATER. Tour the famed Frank Lloyd Wright house. Ohiopyle. 724-329-8501. FORT PITT MUSEUM. Reconstructed fort houses museum of Pittsburgh history circa French & Indian War and American Revolution. Downtown. 412-281-9285. FRICK ART & HISTORICAL CENTER. Ongoing: tours of Clayton, the Frick estate, with classes, car & carriage museum. Point Breeze. 412-371-0600. HARTWOOD ACRES. Tour this Tudor mansion and stable complex, and enjoy hikes and outdoor activities in the

WED 20

JOKEE OAKEE. Comedy open stage hosted by Tonnochi:B. Wed Younger’s, North Side. 412-452-3267. STEWART HUFF, STEVE SWANSON. 7:30 p.m. Peter B’s, Sarver. 1-888-718-4253.

EXHIBITS ANDY WARHOL MUSEUM.

VISUAL

ART

“Ladders” by Jan Myers-Newbury, from unwrapped at James Gallery

NEW THIS WEEK DV8 ESPRESSO BAR & GALLERY. Habitats Gone Topsy-Turvy. New work by Kelsey Green. Opening reception March 16, 7-11 p.m. Greensburg. 724-219-0804. FE GALLERY. Austerity & Self-Sustainability. Installation by John Eastman & Donovan Widmer. Opening reception: March 16, 7-10 p.m. Lawrenceville. 412-860-6028. GREENSBURG ART CENTER. Illumination. Juried exhibition by the Pittsburgh Society of Artists & Greensburg Art Club. Opening reception: March 16, 4-6 p.m. Greensburg. 724-837-6791. LAROCHE COLLEGE. Positive Space. Student art showcase presented by La Roche graphic design students under faculty supervision. Opening reception March 14, 6 p.m. Wexford. 800-838-4572. PITTSBURGH CENTER FOR THE ARTS. Artist talks by Jonathan Chamberlain, David Montano & William McAllister. March 14, 6 p.m. Shadyside. 412-361-0873. SHAW GALLERIES. A View From Inside. Work by Steven Bradley. Closing reception: March 16, 5-8 p.m. Downtown. 412-281-4884.

ONGOING 707 PENN GALLERY. Indivisibler. Work by John Burt Sanders. Downtown. 412-325-7017. 709 PENN GALLERY. Feminine Aesthetics. Women of Visions, Inc. group show. Downtown. 412-471-6070. ANDY WARHOL MUSEUM. I Just Want to Watch: Warhol’s Film, Video and Television. Long-term exhibition of Warhol’s film & video work. Permanent collection. Artwork and artifacts by the famed Pop Artist. North Side. 412-237-8300.

BARCO LAW LIBRARY. Dream. Paintings by Sue Vincent. Oakland. BLUE OLIVE GALLERIES. All Local Artists. Muli media, pottery, woods & jewelry. Frazier. 724-275-7001. BOULEVARD GALLERY. Petals & Pearls. Photography & watercolors by Anne Michele Lyons & Kathleen McShea. Verona. 412-828-1031. BOXHEART GALLERY. Platonic Folds & How to Make Sense of a Canyon. Printmaking & mixed media works on paper by Meghan Olson. Bloomfield. 412-687-8858. CARNEGIE MUSEUM OF ART. Free admission to Carnegie Museums of Art & Natural History from 4 - 8 p.m. every Thur. in March. Oakland. 412-622-3131. CHATHAM UNIVERSITY. Culture in Context. African Art from the Olkes Collection. Shadyside. 412-365-1232. CHRISTINE FRECHARD GALLERY. Revelation. Work by Artur Vasilevich. Squirrel Hill. 412-421-8888. EASTSIDE GALLERY. Hats Off. Work by Sally Allen, Pat Kelly, Bernie Pintar, Sickles, more. East Liberty. 412-465-0140. FRICK ART & HISTORICAL CENTER. A Kind of Alchemy: Medieval Persian Ceramics. Permanent collection of European Art. Point Breeze. 412-371-0600. GALERIE WERNER, THE MANSIONS ON FIFTH. The Classic Collection: European & American Classical & Academic Styles. Early 19th & 20th century paintings. Oakland. 412-716-1390. GALLERIE CHIZ. Abstraction = M S x 2. Sculptures & paintings by Marjorie Shipe & Mary Culbertson Stark. Shadyside. 412-441-6005. THE GALLERY 4. All the Years Combined. Original lithographs & posters by Jerry Garcia. Shadyside. 412-363-5050.

GALLERY ON 43RD STREET. Interiors. Oil paintings by Jonelle Summerfield. Lawrenceville. 412-683-6488. GAY & LESBIAN COMMUNITY CENTER. Fractures & Israel. Photography by Torey Bocast. Downtown. 412-422-0114. GLENN GREENE STAINED GLASS STUDIO INC. Original Glass Art by Glenn Greene. Exhibition of new work, recent work & older work. Regent Square. 412-243-2772. JAMES GALLERY. unwrapped. Shibori-dyed quilts by Jan Myers-Newbury. West End. 412-922-9800. LA PRIMA ESPRESSO. Paintings/Prints of Italy. Prints of Vince Ornato’s oil paintings of Italy. Strip District. 412-281-1922. LAKEVUE ATHLETIC CLUB. Pop-Up Gallery. Work by a variety of artists. Valencia. 724-316-9326. MANCHESTER CRAFTSMEN’S GUILD. Topographies. Work by Barbara Sorensen. North Side. 412-322-1773. MATTRESS FACTORY. Feminist and.. Group show. Ongoing Installations. North Side. 412-231-3169. MENDELSON GALLERY. Gallery Artists. Featuring Ben Matthews & David Lewis. Shadyside. 412-361-8664. MODERNFORMATIONS GALLERY. Heaven Didn’t Want Them. New Works by Christian Breitkreutz & Mike Egan. Garfield. 412-362-0274. MORGAN CONTEMPORARY GLASS GALLERY. Uncommon Grounds. Group Feat. Jon Goldberg, Jan Kransberger, Mark Leputa, Leonard Marty,& Matthew Szösz. Shadyside. 412-441-5200. MORRIS LEVY GALLERY. Salon des Femmes de la Yinz. Art exhibit in recognition of Women’s History Month. Presented by LUPEC. Lawrenceville. 724-331-9692.

Regarding Warhol: Sixty Artists, Fifty Years. Juxtaposing prime examples of Warhol’s paintings, sculpture, & films with those by other artists who reinterpret, respond, or react to his work. North Side. 412-237-8300. BAYERNHOF MUSEUM. Large collection of automatic roll-played musical instruments and music boxes in a mansion setting. Call for appointment. O’Hara. 412-782-4231. CARNEGIE MUSEUM OF ART. 20/20: Celebrating Two Decades of the Heinz Architectural Center. Feat. timeline highlighting important exhibitions & events, a display of 20 objects from the collection selected by current or past curatorial staff, more. Oakland. 412-622-3131. CARNEGIE MUSEUM OF NATURAL HISTORY. Free admission to Carnegie Museums of Art & Natural History from 4 - 8 p.m. every Thur. in March. Empowering Women: Artisan

CONTINUES ON PG. 44

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surrounding park. Allison Park. 412-767-9200. KENTUCK KNOB. Tour the other Frank Lloyd Wright house. Chalk Hill. 724-329-8501. NATIONAL AVIARY. Home to more than 600 birds from over 200 species. With classes, lectures, demos and more. North Side. 412-323-7235. PHIPPS CONSERVATORY & BOTANICAL GARDEN. Spring Flower Show. Feat. bold blooms & sweet scents based on Frances Hodgson Burnett’s children’s classic, The Secret Garden. 14 indoor rooms & 3 outdoor gardens feature exotic plants and floral displays from around the world. Oakland. 412-622-6914. PHOTO ANTIQUITIES. Cameras & the Famous Photos They Took. Including a copy of Daguerre’s first camera, James Bond’s mini Minox spy unit, the Big Bertha that caught Bill Mazeroski rounding third base in 1960 Winning Series, more. North Side. 412-231-7881. PITTSBURGH ZOO & PPG AQUARIUM. Home to 4,000 animals, including many endangered species. Highland Park. 412-665-3639. SENATOR JOHN HEINZ HISTORY CENTER. 1968: The Year that Rocked America. Nearly a dozen interactive video presentations & more than 100 evocative artifacts that explore how the year CONTINUES ON PG. 44

Happy St. Patty’s Day! Sunday, March 17 - Celebrate with us at 7pm $2 Miller Lites + $3 Fireball Whiskey Shots Miller + Fireball Girls I Green Beer + Beads!

Get Lucky at The Hyde! JEKYL AND HYDE | 140 S. 18TH STREET | 412-488-0777 BARSMART.COM/JEKYLANDHYDE +

A R T S

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LIKE US ON FACEBOOK! +

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BIG LIST, CONTINUED FROM PG. 43

3 NIGHTS ONLY!

1968 helped shape our modern world. From Slavery to Freedom. Highlight’s Pittsburgh’s role in the anti-slavery movement. Ongoing: Western PA Sports Museum, Clash of Empires, and exhibits on local history, more. Strip District. 412-454-6000. SOLDIERS & SAILORS MEMORIAL HALL. Military museum dedicated to honoring military service members since the Civil War through artifacts & personal mementos. Oakland. 412-621-4253.

XXX Superstar & 2011 Penthouse Pet of the Year:

THURSDAY THRU SATURDAY

MARCH 14-16

NITE COUPLE’aSrch 13 Wed, M

NEXT WEEK: 2012 Miss Nude & Best in Show

RYAN ASHLEY MARCH 19-23

135 9th Street 412-281-7703 www.blushexotic.com

DOWNTOWN PITTSBURGH

HOLIDAY SAT 16

THE IRISH GALA. Irish food, live entertainment, more. 5 p.m. Lincoln Park Performing Arts Center, Midland. 724-643-9004. ST. PATRICK’S DAY AT FIFTH AVENUE PLACE. Face painting, live music, more. 11 a.m.-2 p.m. Fifth Avenue Place, Downtown. ST. PATTY’S DAY STACHE BASH. Free mustaches, Irish jig competition, leprechaun limbo, Irish accent battle, more. Ages 21+. 9 a.m.-3 p.m. The ToonSeum, Downtown. 412-232-0199. UKRAINIAN EASTER EGG-MAKING WORKSHOP. 12 p.m. SS Peter & Paul Ukrainian Orthodox Church Hall, Carnegie. 412-527-5359.

FUNDRAISERS

THU 14 - SUN 17

FRI 15

FRI 15 - SAT 16 RUTH DOESN’T LIVE HERE ANYMORE. Lionel Popkin’s dance piece about acts of cultural sourcing, representation & transmission. Loosely inspired by the career of modern dance pioneer Ruth St. Denis. March 1516 Kelly-Strayhorn Theater, East Liberty. 412-363-3000.

SAT 16 2ND ANNUAL ST. PATRICK’S DAY BELLYDANCE HAFLA. Presented by Jemeena Bellydance. 7:30 p.m. Wilkins School Community Center, Swissvale. 412-227-1846.

Get here early and grab a GREEN BEER and enjoy a FREE Breakfast!

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.13/03.20.2013

HMH: FEELING GREEN. Performances by Hot Metal Hardware & Bridge City Bombshells. Benefits the Rachel Carson Institute at Chatham University. 9 p.m. Cattivo, Lawrenceville. 412-687-2157.

SAT 16 TRANSPLANT RECIPIENT BENEFIT. RSVP by March 14 to ensure a spot. 6 p.m. Fired Up Pottery Studio, McMurray. 412-478-7457.

SUN 17 BOOK ‘EM BOOKS TO PRISONERS WORK PARTY. Read & code letters, pick books, pack ‘em or database ‘em! Sundays 4-7 p.m. or by appt. Thomas Merton Center, Garfield. 412-361-3022. www.

FULL LIST E N O LIN

paper pghcitym .co

TUE 19 SLASK SONG & DANCE ENSEMBLE OF POLAND. 7:30 p.m. Byham Theater, Downtown. 412-456-6666. YOU DRINK .. WE DANCE. Continuum Dance Theater presents excerpts of a work-inprogress. Tue., April 16 and Tue., May 21 Bar Marco, Strip District. 412-471-1900.

CONTINUED FROM PG. 43

OLD ECONOMY VILLAGE. Faces & Places: Photographs of Old Economy. Never before seen photography from the late 19th & early 20th centuries. Ambridge. 724-266-4500. PICTURESQUE PHOTOGRAPHY & GIFTS. Photography by Brenda Knoll. Lawrenceville. 412-688-0240. PITTSBURGH CENTER FOR THE ARTS. Above Dusk. Paintings by Kara Ruth Snyder. Homographies. Installation by Lizzy De Vita. Inter-subjectivity. Work by Eli Blasko, Eric D. Charlton & Ian F. Thomas. NON-WORK. Work by David Montano. Public Lives. Watercolors by William McAllister. Slo Poke. Paintings & drawings by Jonathan Chamberlain. Somewhere In Between. Installation by Lenore D. Thomas. This May Not Take That Long. Audio/video installation by David Bernabo & Emily Walley. Transience. Work by Stephen Chalmers. Untitled 1. Work by Jeremy Boyle & Mark Franchino. Shadyside. 412-361-0873. PITTSBURGH GLASS CENTER. Consciousness. Flameworked glass by Eunsuh Choi.

DANCE UNSPOKEN. Presented by Pittsburgh Ballet Theatre, feat. work of choreographers George Balanchine, Antony Tudor & Mark Morris. Thu-Sun. Thru March 17 August Wilson Center for African American Culture, Downtown. 412-456-6666.

Stop by for St. Patty’s Day!

VISUAL ART

POLITICS THU 14

GERTRUDE STEIN POLITICAL CLUB OF GREATER PITTSBURGH. Meetings of group devoted to LGBT issues in electoral politics. Second Thu of every month, 7 p.m. United Cerebral Palsy of Pittsburgh, Oakland. 412-521-2504.

LITERARY THU 14

THE 3 POEMS BY . . . Poetry discussion group feat. work by

Friendship. 412-365-2145. SCHOOLHOUSE ART CENTER. The Lion & the Lamb. Work by local artists. Bethel Park. 412-835-9898. SILVER EYE CENTER FOR PHOTOGRAPHY. Projects by Diane Meyer & Ross Mantle. South Side. 412-431-5777. THE SOCIETY FOR CONTEMPORARY CRAFT. Bridge 12. Work by Melissa Cameron, Betty Vera, & Kevin Snipes. Strip District. 412-261-7003 x 12. SOUTHERN ALLEGHENIES MUSEUM OF ART. Red, White & Blue in Black and White: The American Scene in Prints, Drawings & Photographs. Ligonier. 724-238-6015. SPACE. Mean Girls. Group show. Downtown. 412-325-7723. STOKE’S GRILL. A Female Perspective. Work by Kim Freithaler, June Kielty, Nadya Lapets & Vickie Schilling. Ross. 412-369-5380. SWEETWATER CENTER FOR THE ARTS. Student/Instructor Exhibition. Sewickley. 412-741-4405. THE TOONSEUM. The Art of Akira. Production art from

Katsuhiro Otomo’s film. Downtown. 412-232-0199. TRUNDLE MANOR. Sara K. Diesel. Illustrations. Swissvale. 412-916-5544. TUGBOAT PRINT SHOP. Tugboat Printshop. Open studio. Lawrenceville. 412-621-0663. WEST PENN HOSPITAL. Welcome to the Gardens. Fine acrylic paintings by Maura Taylor. The Gallery of Art, Millvale Ave. Upper Lobby. Email maurataylor3@gmail.com for more information. Bloomfield. 412-578-5000. WESTMORELAND MUSEUM OF AMERICAN ART. The Art of Ruth Levine. An Art(ist) in Motion. Work by Aaronel deRoy Gruber. Born of Fire: The Valley Work. Greensburg. 724-837-1500. WILDCARD. everyday balloons. Work by Chris Bencivenga & Becki Hollen. Lawrenceville. 412-224-2651. WOOD STREET GALLERIES. Power Pixels 2013. New selfgenerative video installations, includes the world premiere of Miguel Chevalier’s latest work, Digital-Archi (Meta Cities). Downtown. 412-471-5605.

Richard Hugo. 7:30 p.m. Carnegie Library, Oakland. 412-622-3151. AUBREY HIRSCH. Book launch for Why We Never Talk About Sugar. 7 p.m. East End Book Exchange, Bloomfield. 412-224-2847. JAN BEATTY. Presenting Undressing in Public: Gender & Poetry. Duquesne Union. wsgs@ duq.edu for info. 7 p.m. Duquesne University, Uptown. 412-396-6000. KOFI ANYIDOHO. Spoken word performance by Ghanaian poet. 7 p.m. California University, California. 724-938-4000.

Nair, Josh Barnes, TJ Murphy, & Sandhya Krishnan. 7 p.m. City of Asylum, North Side. 412-323-0278.

SAT 16

STEEL CITY POETRY SLAM. Third Tue of every month, 9 p.m. Shadow Lounge, East Liberty. 412-363-8277.

BACKYARD EXHIBIT. Musical swing set, sandbox, solar-powered instruments, more. Ongoing Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh, North Side. 412-322-5058. CHARLIE & KIWI’S EVOLUTIONARY ADVENTURE. Join Charlie as he travels back to the Age of Dinosaurs to discover how evolution works. Feat. story theater & discovery area. Presented by Commonwealth Connections Academy. Tue-Sun. Thru May 12 Carnegie Museum of Natural History, Oakland. 412-622-3131. MOVE WITH ART. Pull levers to move a 10-foot wooden man, create images on a giant Kaleidoscope, feed rubber balls to a life-size wooden cow & much more. Thru May 12 Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh, North Side. 412-322-5058.

WED 20

SAT 16

PENNWRITERS SPRINGDALE WRITERS GROUP. Third Sat of every month Springdale Free Public Library, Springdale. 724-274-9729. TRIANGULATION 2012. Discussion & signing w/ authors Kenneth B. Chiacchia, Jamie Lackey, Susan Urbanek Linville, Henry Tjernlund. Presented by PARSEC. 2 p.m. Eljay’s Used Books, Dormont. 412-344-7444.

SUN 17

JAMES ARTHUR. Sunday Poetry & Reading Series. 2 p.m. Carnegie Library, Oakland. 412-622-3151.

TUE 19

A TALE OF TWO CITIES. Poetry, prose & drama reading feat. Vijay

KIDSTUFF THU 14 - SAT 16

ANNIE THE MUSICAL. Thru March 16 Kiski Area High School, Leechburg. 724-845-8181 x 5140. PITTSBURGH REGIONAL FIRST ROBOTICS COMPETITION. March 14-16 Petersen Events Center, Oakland. 412-512-4302.

THU 14 - WED 20

DIY FONT. Use paper prototyping techniques to design your own


EVERYONE IS A CRITIC

font. 2-4 p.m. Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh, North Side. 412-322-5058. PLAYTESTING. Test out a new interactive learning experience that is part simulator, part game, & part theater that takes participants to outer space, under the sea, more. Ages 6+. 11 a.m.-1 p.m. Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh, North Side. 412-322-5058. SUPER SPECIAL CRAFTERNOON SERIES, PART 1: COMICS & CARTOON ART W/ JUAN FERNÁNDEZ & ANDY SCOTT. 1-4 p.m. Assemble, Garfield.

EVENT: SUNSTAR Music Festival, Kelly-Strayhorn Theater, East Liberty CRITIC: Nishant Singh, 21, a student from Bloomfield WHEN: Fri.,

March 08

SAT 16 - SUN 17

RAPUNZEL. Sat, Sun. Thru March 17 Gemini Theater, Point Breeze. 412-243-5201. THE WONDERFUL WIZARD OF OZ. Sat, Sun. Thru March 24 The Theatre Factory, Trafford. 412-374-9200.

I’m a huge Light Asylum fan, so I came out tonight mainly to see [the dark synth-pop duo]. This whole festival is a really cool Women’s History Month celebration, and they brought out really interesting acts all weekend. I was pleasantly surprised by this venue; I’d only heard of it in passing but it really is a great place with a really cool vibe. I wasn’t familiar with the opening acts coming into tonight’s show, but the first two openers, Vie Boheme and DJ Lauren G, were nice primers for the pumped-up Light Asylum set. Overall this was a great night with a pretty good turnout, at this mysterious sort of venue that, once you get inside, is probably one of Pittsburgh’s best.

SUN 17

3D PRINTING WORKSHOP. Sun, 1-4 p.m. Thru March 31 Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh, North Side. 412-322-5058. COMPUTER PROGRAMMING WORKSHOP. Sun, 1-4 p.m. Thru March 31 Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh, North Side. 412-322-5058.

B Y JE F F IH AZ A

MON 18 SPRING LITTLE SPROUTS: I EAT PLANTS! Learn about roots, stems, leaves & flowers. Ages 2-3 w/ adult. Mon, 10:30 a.m.-12 p.m. Thru March 25 Phipps Conservatory & Botanical Garden, Oakland. 412-441-4442 x 3925.

OUTSIDE

Call Friday to confirm. Sat. Thru March 30 Jennings Environmental Center, Slippery Rock. 724-794-6011.

OTHER STUFF THU 14

SAT 16

MAPLE MADNESS. Nature walk, pancake breakfast, more. Presented by the Audubon Society of Western PA. 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Beechwood Farms, Fox Chapel. 412-963-6100.

AARP TAX HELP. Free tax preparation and assistance to low & middle income taxpayers. Thu. Thru April 11 Baldwin Borough Public Library, Baldwin. 412-885-2255. FOOD FOR BIG THOUGHTS: EAT & LIVE HEALTHY. Feat.

[VOLUNTEER OPPORTUNITY]

FRI 15

ANGORA GARDENS EASTER EGG HUNT

Angora Gardens, in White Oak, is a social-rehabilitation program provided by mental-health agency Mon Yough Community Services. Proceeds from its Annual Easter Egg Hunt help support MYCS programs. Volunteers are needed for this year’s hunt, on Sat., March 23, to help with set-up and clean-up, concessions, information tables and more. Call 412-675-8413 or email elroda@mycs.org for information.

THE RACHEL CARSON TRAIL QUEST. Hike the 34-mile trail in 4 sections, w/ a bonus hike to the still-developing Harmony Trail. Presented by Venture Outdoors. Sat. Thru March 30 412-255-0564. STEP INTO SNOWSHOES. Snowshoeing/skiing every Sat. w/ at least 4” of snow on the ground.

month, 7 p.m. Covenant Presbyterian Church, Butler. 412-518-1515. SISTERHOOD IN PITTSBURGH: WOMEN’S LIBERATION FROM THE 1960S TO TODAY. Panel discussion focusing on the history of the women’s movement in Pittsburgh. Moderated by Dr. Patricia Ulbrich. 6 p.m. Senator John Heinz History Center, Strip District. 412-454-6000. WUNDER SLEAZE. Vendors, film screening, live burlesque & sideshow acts, more. 7 p.m. Hollywood Theater, Dormont. 412-860-8369.

Stephen Ritz, TED Speaker & Healthy Food Advocate. Inspire Speaker Series. 5:30-8:30 p.m. Phipps Conservatory & Botanical Garden, Oakland. 412-441-4442. PFLAG BUTLER. Support, education & advocacy for the LGBTQ community, family & friends. Second Thu of every

AN AMERICAN INDEPENDENT TRADITION. Discussion about inter-subjective ego psychology w/ Nancy J. Chodorow. 7-9 p.m. Bigelow Conference & Reception Center, Oakland. 412-661-4224. ART ATTACK 2. Feat. over 20 artists creating live art. Music by DJ Rob Chilldren & Kemist. Benefits the Western PA Humane Society. Hosted by Tattoo Noir. 8 p.m. Belvedere’s, Lawrenceville. 412-687-2555. THE LIFE & CONSTITUTIONS OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN. w/ Dr. Cleon Cornes. Fri, 10 a.m. and Fri., April 5, 10 a.m. Thru March 22 Mount Lebanon Public Library, Mt. Lebanon. 412-531-1912. MCBARK & BREW ST. PATRICK’S DAY BEER TASTING. Dog- & people-friendly dogs welcome. 7-8:30 p.m. Animal Friends, Ohio Township. 412-847-7000.

Pizza & Beer Night tuesdays

FRI 15 - SAT 16

$15 large pizza & pitcher domestic beer FREE POOL all night

THE ART OF BILL PLYMPTON. Screenings, workshops, more. Opening reception at ToonSeum: March 15, 6 p.m. March 15-16 Point Park University, Downtown. 412-232-0199.

Wind Up wednesdays

$2 Miller Lite Drafts til 12am FREE POOL all night ½ off Select Appetizers 9-11pm

FRI 15 - SUN 17 STEEL CITY BLUES FESTIVAL. Live blues music, dance instruction, more. March 15-17 412-999-9479. HORROR REALM SPRING BREAK MASSACRE. VHS viewing room, panel discussions, guest stars feat. Danielle Harris, George “The Animal” Steele, more. March 15-17 Crowne Plaza Hotel, Bethel Park. 412-833-5300. 9TH ANNUAL PITTSBURGH KNIT & CROCHET FESTIVAL. March 15-17 Four Points Sheraton North, Mars. 412-963-7030.

Thirsty thursdays

$7 Yuengling Pitchers til 12am Karaoke 9:30-1:30am

Eat, Drink & Dance

fridays & saturdays

S.I.N sundays

$2 Coors Light Drafts til 12am $5 Long Island Special

Get ShamRock’d

SAT 16

CSA FAIR. Learn about Community Supported Agriculture farms in the Pittsburgh area, meet local farmers, & sign up for a 2013 farm share. 12-4 p.m. Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh, North Side. 412-322-5058. VEGETABLE GARDENING & SEED SHARING EVENT. 9:30 a.m. Mount Lebanon Public Library, Mt. Lebanon. 412-736-8216.

03.16

Irish Music DJ, Dancing, Drink Specials Kitchen open til 1am

Now Booking Events, Parties & more contact cattivo44@comcast.net 146 44th Street Lawrenceville PA 15201 412.687.2157 www.cattivo.biz Check our website & Facebook page for more events

SUN 17 AMNESTY INTERNATIONAL HUMAN RIGHTS CAFE. Weekly letter writing event. Sun, 4-6 p.m. Panera Bread, Oakland. 412-683-3727. APPRAISAL FAIR. Appraisers available for information are on: books, jewelry, glass, china, pottery, art, dolls, & toys. 11 a.m.-5 p.m. Merrick Art Gallery, New Brighton. 724-846-1130. MEDITATION & WHOLE LIFE TRANSFORMATION. Supreme Meditation & the Science of Transformation w/ Acharya Kedar. Free public program. Doors open at 12:15 p.m., seating ends at 12:30 p.m. 12:15 p.m. Unity Center of Pittsburgh, Bloomfield. 724-420-5826. PFLAG GREENSBURG. Support, education & advocacy for the LGBTQ community, family & friends. Third Sun of every month, 2 p.m. Trinity United Church of Christ, Greensburg. 412-518-1515. ST. PITTY’S DAY PIT BULL EVENT. Learn about positive training methods, training tools, more. 12-4 p.m. Animal Friends, Ohio Township. 412-847-7000.

make a real connection Call Livelinks. The hottest place to meet the coolest people.

MON 18 INTERNATIONAL YEAR OF STATISTICS LECTURE. w/ Bradley Efron. McConomy Auditorium. 4:30 p.m. Carnegie Mellon University, Oakland. 412-268-2830. MT. LEBANON GENEALOGY SOCIETY. Seniors Only. 1 p.m. Mount Lebanon Public Library, Mt. Lebanon. 412-531-1912.

Try it Free!

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CONTINUES ON PG. 46

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BIG LIST, CONTINUED FROM PG. 45

[LITERARY] OVERCOMING THE STUMBLING BLOCKS OF GENEALOGY RESEARCH. 1-3 p.m. Westmoreland County Historical Society, Greensburg. 724-532-1935 x 210.

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.13/03.20.2013

SAMOVAR: A MONTHLY SALON FOR PHOTOGRAPHERS. Tips for applying & attending a photography portfolio review w/ Ellen Fleurov. 6:30-8:30 p.m. Silver Eye Center for Photography, South Side. 412-431-1810 x 11. SHALE SUMMIT III. Presentations & discussions to educate residents & professionals on the benefits of Utica & Marcellus Shale exploration in our region. 11 a.m.-5 p.m. Slippery Rock University, Slippery Rock. 724-283-1500.

WED 20

Think My People Think Think well before you laugh at those who walk in the rain. The gifts that bestows at birth Some had some splendid things What was mine? I sing. They laugh. Still I sell My Song for those with ears to buy My cloth is torn, I know But I shall learn to wear it well My voice is hoarse, I know But I shall learn to wear it well.

ACHIEVING MEANINGFUL PARTICIPATION THROUGH INCLUSION. A conference for those w/ special needs & their family members. Presented by The PEAL Center. 8 a.m.-3 p.m. Rodef Shalom Congregation, Oakland. 412-422-7200. BASIC HORTICULTURE. Learn about soils, plant nutrition, & environmental factors that affect plant growth/ — from “My Song,” by Kofi Anyidoho development. Wed, 7-9 p.m. Thru March 27 Phipps Conservatory & Botanical The internationally renowned Ghanaian poet Garden, Oakland. 412-441-4442 x 3925. presents a spoken-word performance 7 p.m. FORBES ROAD: RAYSTOWN Thu., March 14, at California University of TO FORT DUQUESNE. Speaker: Pennsylvania’s Steele Hall Mainstage Theatre. Phil Light. Presented by the Westmoreland Archaeological 250 University Ave., California. Free. Society. 7 p.m. Unity Township Call 724-938-4000 or visit www.calu.edu. Municipal Building, Latrobe. 724-539-2546. THE GUERRILLA GIRLS: WHAT ARE MUSEUMS FOR? PITTSBURGH NEW WORKS if asked, have a second 32 bar Multimedia performance. FESTIVAL. Auditions for cut of Contemporary Musical Part of the Empowering Theater & a monologue. Bring Pittsburgh New Works Cabaret. Women exhibition. 7 p.m. head shot & resume. Equity and March 16-17. All performing Carnegie Lecture Hall, Oakland. Non-Equity welcome. Email: artists, all ages. 3-min. audition 412-622-3131. auditionscopgh@gmail.com time, acts must be original & not MIT ENTERPRISE for a time slot. Appointment previously produced publicly. FORUM PITTSBURGH: recommended. James Centre, http://www.pittsburghnewworks. OPPORTUNITIES IN LIFE West End. 412 937-1414. org/auditions/ Andrew Carnegie SCIENCES. 5:30-8:30 p.m. LATSHAW PRODUCTIONS. Free Library Music Hall, Carnegie. Thermo Fisher Scientific Auditions for Viva Las Vegas. 412-944-2639. Building, South Side. March 31 & April 14. 412-951-6145. Female dancers only. THE PITTSBURGH Call for more 2013 WESTMORELAND ART SHOW OFFS. A information NATIONALS. Enter 4 images of . meeting of jugglers w w w 724-853-4050. artwork for national juried art aper p ty ci & spinners. All levels h g p LITTLE LAKE show. Call or see entry form .com welcome. Wed, THEATRE COMPANY. for more information. http:// 7:30 p.m. Union Musical auditions for www.artsandheritage.com/ Project, Highland Park. “Little Shop of Horrors,” 724-834-7474. 412-363-4550. March 24, & general auditions PITTSBURGH SOCIETY OF TASTE OF HOME COOKING for 65th season of mainstage ARTISTS NEW MEMBER SCHOOL. Vendor exhibit, plays, March 24 - 25. For “Little SCREENING. Present 3 framed cooking show, more. 5 p.m. Shop” prepare 16-32 bars & wired pieces of art completed Butler Intermediate High School, of up tempo piece. Bring sheet within the last 2 years & not Butler. 724-214-3400. music. Accompanist provided. under direct instruction on Cold readings for general March 17 at Pittsburgh Center auditions. Appointments for the Arts. 2D or 3D pieces THE COMPANY OF PITTSBURGH. advised. All details: www.littlelake. are acceptable. More details at Auditions for 2013 season. org Little Lake Theatre, March 24. Prepare One 32 bar http://www.pittsburghsociety Canonsburg. 724-745-6300. cut of trad. musical theater & ofartists.org/

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Savage Love {BY DAN SAVAGE}

I’m an actor in New York City. Last week I responded to a casting call for a film project called Sniff. The ad — on Playbill’s website — called for two male actors to film a scene. The pay was $100 for a day’s work. I was emailed the scene to study. It starts with two male roommates chatting on a couch. The bigger, more muscular roommate confronts the smaller roommate about his obsession with socks. Two pages later, the smaller roommate is ordered to sniff, lick and caress the larger roommate’s feet. The scene ends with the smaller roommate being forced to hold the bigger roommate’s big toes in the corners of his mouth while smiling for the camera. Is this something foot fetishists do to make low-budget softcore porn? FREAKED-OUT OBLIVIOUS THESPIAN

P.S. The audition was surprisingly normal. I wasn’t asked to remove my clothes or lick any feet. I wasn’t cast. After the audition, the director requested a picture of my feet. I did not send one.

birthday because we would miss his med schedule. Anything that goes bad in our relationship, he blames it on the fact that he is positive and I am not. I feel like he manipulates me with his illness. POSITIVELY FLUSTERED

“My answer to PF’s question — will his boyfriend’s health be affected if he takes his meds 10 minutes late — is a resounding no,” said Peter Shalit, a doctor, author and public speaker who has been treating HIV patients for 25 years. “Modern HIV meds have a lot of flexibility around when they are taken. His boyfriend can also carry the meds in his pocket if he’s so OCD that he has to take them at the same exact minute every day. “His boyfriend needs to stop blaming everything on his HIV, deal with it and get on with his life,” Shalit said. “The daily act of taking your meds should have as much impact in your life as the daily act of brushing your teeth. How would it sound if someone said, ‘I can’t come to your birthday party because I need to brush my teeth’? It sounds like he is using his HIV as a weapon.” Shalit and I both wonder why you put up with this guy. End this relationship — not because your boyfriend is poz, but because he’s an asshole.

IT WOULD BE A LOT CHEAPER FOR A FOOT FETISHIST TO PAY TWO ACTORS TO BRING HIS FANTASIES TO LIFE THAN, SAY, TWO MALE ESCORTS.

“Yes, I am a foot fetishist,” said Anthony Fusco, the writer and director of Sniff and the person for whom you auditioned. “I’m also a theater person.” I reached Fusco the same way you did: through the audition notice in Playbill. It turns out that Sniff is one scene in Big N aked Feet, a one-act comedy that Fusco wrote, directed and produced at a small New York venue in 2008. Big N aked Feet isn’t Fusco’s only play. Another of his plays — Crossing Verrazano — was produced as part of the Strawberry One-Act Festival in 2011. I told Fusco that his script for Sniff read like fetish porn (“Good dog, Paul, now take a step back and just stare at the beauty of my manly feet!”) and that his audition notice had my bullshit detectors going off. It would be a lot cheaper for a foot fetishist to pay two actors to bring his fantasies to life than, say, two male escorts. (A good-looking male escort will run you $1,000 or more a day.) But Fusco insisted the video is intended as promo material for a planned remount of Big Naked Feet, not footfetish fap material. “I’m so used to this stuff,” he said, “it’s nothing new to me. I’m not going to say it can’t be exciting or a turn-on. So it depends on how the final product turns out, I guess, and how it looks.” And … scene. P.S. Coincidentally, after our interview, Fusco requested a picture of my feet via email. And I sent him one — because why not? My boyfriend is HIV-positive and I am not. He blames his HIV for everything. I know HIV is very serious, but if he misses taking his meds by 10 minutes, will it seriously affect his health? He has forced me to leave movies early, refused to go to work functions with me, and even missed my

I met a boy online, and I’ve fallen for him. And from what I can tell, he’s fallen for me. But early in our relationship, he expressed certain attitudes about race that caused me to not be 100 percent honest with him. He dislikes men of color and feels they are responsible for many of the world’s problems. Upon discovering this, I claimed to be white and went so far as to use Photoshop to make myself appear white in the pics I sent him. (I’m not black, but I am not white.) Now that our relationship has come to the point where a meeting is planned, I am distraught. When he makes comments about “ashy knees” and “big ethnic noses,” I cry inside. I know he loves me, but I fear he might not see past my skin color. I believe he can overcome this. How do I go about confessing? LOST AND WORRIED

You’re not in a relationship. You’ve never met this person — excuse me, you’ve never met this racist piece of shit — and while two people can get to know each other via email, two people who’ve never actually met are not “together.” You were alone with your laptop, lying to a racist piece of shit and deluding and undervaluing yourself. My advice: Call off the meeting and send the racist your actual, un-retouched pics, along with an email that begins with something like, “I don’t know what I was thinking getting involved with you,” and ends with something like “Go fuck yourself, you racist piece of shit.” You’ll feel better if you dump the racist piece of shit before he has a chance to dump you.

SEND IN YOUR QUESTIONS TO MAIL@SAVAGELOVE.NET AND FIND THE SAVAGE LOVECAST (DAN’S WEEKLY PODCAST) AT THESTRANGER.COM/SAVAGE

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.13/03.20.2013


FOR THE WEEK OF

Free Will Astrology

03.13-03.20

{BY ROB BREZSNY}

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): A source of fulfillment you will enjoy in the future may seem almost painful when it initially announces its presence. In other words, your next mission may first appear to you as a problem. Your situation has a certain resemblance to that of prolific Russian composer Pyotr Tchaikovsky, who produced a wide variety of enduring works, including symphonies, ballets, operas and concertos. When he was a precocious child, he was assailed by the melodies and rhythms that frequently surged through his mind. “This music! This music!” he complained to his mother. “Take it away! It’s here in my head and won’t let me sleep!”

ARIES (March 21-April 19): “If it’s stupid and it works, it’s not stupid.” That could turn out to be a useful mantra for you in the coming week. Being pragmatic should be near the top of your priority list, whereas being judgmental should be at the bottom. Here’s another mantra that may serve you well: “Those who take history personally are condemned to repeat it.” I hope you invoke that wisdom to help you escape an oppressive part of your past. Do you have room for one more inspirational motto, Aries? Here it is: “I am only as strong as my weakest delusion.”

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Don’t you just love to watch the spinning of those wheels within wheels within wheels? Aren’t you grateful for the way the ever-churning plot twists keep you alert and ready to shift your attitude at a moment’s notice? And aren’t you thrilled by those moments when fate reveals that its power is not absolute — that your intel-

ligence and willpower can in fact override the seemingly inexorable imperatives of karma? If you are unfamiliar with the pleasures I’ve just described, the coming weeks will be an excellent time to get deeply acquainted.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): It won’t be a good week to issue unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered demands. And please don’t make peanut butter and jelly a part of your sex life, take a vacation in Siberia, or photocopy your butt and deliver it anonymously to your boss. On the other hand, it will be an excellent time to scrawl motivational poetry on your bedroom wall, stage a slow-motion pillow fight, and cultivate your ability to be a deepfeeling free-thinker. Other recommended actions: Give yourself a new nickname like Highball or Root Doctor or Climax Master; write an essay on “The Five Things That the Pursuit of Pleasure Has Taught Me;” and laugh uproariously as you completely bypass the void of sadness and the abyss of fear.

Get Your YOGA On!

CANCER (June 21-July 22):

It may depend on you allowing things to be more untidy than usual, though. Are you game?

th

In the mid-19 century, prospectors mined for gold in the mountains of western Nevada. The veins weren’t as rich as those in California, but some men were able to earn a modest living. Their work to extract gold from the terrain was hampered by a gluey blue mud that gummed up their machinery. It was regarded as a major nuisance. But on a hunch, one miner took a load of the blue gunk to be analyzed by an expert. He discovered that it contained rich deposits of silver. So began an explosion of silver mining that made many prospectors very wealthy. I suggest you be on the alert for a metaphorical version of blue mud in your sphere, Cancerian: an “inconvenience” that seems to interfere with the treasure you seek, but that is actually quite valuable.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): When pioneer filmmaker Hal Roach worked on scripts with his team of writers, he sometimes employed an unusual strategy to overcome writer’s block. He’d bring in a “Wildie” to join them at the conference table. A Wildie was either a random drunk they found wandering around the streets or a person who lived in an insane asylum. They’d engage him in conversation about the story they were working on, and he would provide unexpected ideas that opened their minds to new possibilities. I don’t necessarily recommend that you seek the help of a Wildie, Leo, but I hope you will come up with other ways to spur fresh perspectives. Solicit creative disruptions!

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Is the term “unconscious mind” a good name for the foundation of the human psyche? Should we really be implying that the vast, oceanic source of everything we think and feel is merely the opposite of the conscious mind? Dreamworker Jeremy Taylor doesn’t think so. He proposes an alternate phrase to replace “unconscious”: “notyet-speech-ripe.” It captures the sense of all the raw material burbling and churning in our deep awareness that is not graspable through language. I bring this up, Virgo, because you’re entering a phase when a lot of not-yet-speechripe stuff will become speech-ripe. Be alert for it!

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In 1928, biologist Alexander Fleming launched a medical revolution. He developed the world’s first antibiotic, penicillin, making it possible to cure a host of maladies caused by hostile bacteria. His discovery was a lucky fluke that happened only because he left his laboratory a mess when he went on vacation. While he was gone, a bacteria culture he’d been working with got contaminated by a mold that turned out to be penicillin. I’m thinking that you could achieve a more modest but quite happy accident sometime soon, Libra.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “I am iron resisting the most enormous Magnet there is,” wrote the Sufi mystic poet Rumi. He was wistfully bemoaning his own stubborn ignorance, which tricked him into refusing a more intimate companionship with the Blessed Source of all life. I think there’s something similar going on in most of us, even atheists. We feel the tremendous pull of our destiny — the glorious, daunting destination that would take all our strength to achieve and fulfill our deepest longings — and yet we are also terrified to surrender to it. What’s your current relationship to your Magnet, Scorpio? I say it’s time you allowed it to pull you closer.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): NASA used whale oil to lubricate the Hubble Space Telescope and Voyager spacecrafts. There was a good reason: Whale oil doesn’t freeze at the low temperatures found in outer space. While I certainly don’t approve of killing whales to obtain their oil, I want to use this story to make a point. It’s an excellent time for you, too, to use old-school approaches for solving ultra-new-school problems. Sometimes a tried-and-true method works better, or is cheaper, simpler, or more aesthetically pleasing.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The theory of the “butterfly effect” proposes that a butterfly flapping its wings in China may ultimately impact the weather in New York. Here’s how the writer Richard Bernstein explains it: “Very slight, nearly infinitesimal variations and the enormous multiplicity of interacting variables produce big differences in the end.” That’s why, he says, “the world is just too complicated to be predictable.” I find this a tremendously liberating idea. It suggests that every little thing you do sends out ripples of influence that help shape the kind of world you live in. The coming week will be an excellent time to experiment with how this works in your daily life. Put loving care and intelligent attention into every little thing.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Former football quarterback Joe Ayoob holds the world’s record for throwing a paper airplane the longest distance. After it left his hand, the delicate craft traveled over 226 feet. I propose we make Ayoob your patron saint and role model for the coming week. From what I can tell, you will have a similar challenge, at least metaphorically: blending power and strength with precision and finesse and control. It’s time to move a fragile thing or process as far as possible. Choose two ancestors with whom you’d like to have closer relationships. Try to contact their spirits in your dreams. Testify at Freewillastrology.com.

GO TO REALASTROLOGY.COM TO CHECK OUT ROB BREZSNY’S EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES AND DAILY TEXT-MESSAGE HOROSCOPES. THE AUDIO HOROSCOPES ARE ALSO AVAILABLE BY PHONE AT 1-877-873-4888 OR 1-900-950-7700

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.13/03.20.2013


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WANTED! 36 PEOPLE

SERVICES

HELP WANTED

Do you like to work on the issues you care about? Would you like to prepare for your future? Want to get paid to make a difference?

Paid In Advanced! MAKE up to $1000 A WEEK mailing brochures from home! Helping Home Workers since 2001! Genuine Opportunity! No Experience required. Start Immediately! www.mailing-station. com (AAN CAN) Get the most for your money in CP Classifieds. We get great results. Call 412.316.3342

For more information, visit www.publicallies.org or Contact Branden Ballard at 412-258-3022 or brandenb@publicallies.org

REHEARSAL

PHONE SERVICES

Rehearsal Space starting @ $150/mo Many sizes available, no sec deposit, play @ the original and largest practice facility, 24/7 access, 412-403-6069

Keep it Real hot talk, local singles FREE TRIAL 412-2356296 Vibe Line Get your local number: 1.800.811.1633 18+ www.vibeline.com

Advertise your GOODS in City Paper and reach over 300,000 readers per month. Now that’s SERVICE!

Call 412.316.3342 to advertise in City Paper. Find a new place to “LIVE” in City Paper!

Give In to your wildest fantasies! TRY FOR FREE CODE 2339 Red Hots dateline 412894-0205 More local Numbers: 1-800-7006666 18+ www.redhotdateline. com NAMASTE! Find a healthy balance of the mind, body and spirit with one of our massage therapists, yoga, or spa businesses!

OFFICIAL ADVERTISEMENT THE BOARD OF PUBLIC EDUCATION OF THE SCHOOL DISTRICT OF PITTSBURGH Sealed proposals shall be addressed to and deposited at the School District of Pittsburgh, Administration Building, Room 251, 341 South Bellefield Avenue, Pittsburgh, PA 15213, on April 9, 2013, until 2:00 P.M., local prevailing time for:

$1,400/Month Health Care and Child Care $5,550 Education Award and Federal Student Loan Deferment Hands on Leadership Development, Coaching, and Nonprofit Career Based Training Information Sessions will be held from March – May

PHONE SERVICES

• Install Backflow Preventers Various Locations General and Plumbing Primes

• Asphalt Paving Various Locations General Prime

• New Entrance Doors and Frames Roof Replacement Pittsburgh Colfax K-8 2332 Beechwood Blvd. General Prime

• Replace HVAC in Security Room Pittsburgh Milliones 6-12 3117 Centre Ave. Mechanical Prime

• Window Replacement Pittsburgh Fulton Pre K-5 5799 Hampton St. General Prime

ANNOUNCEMENTS

AIRLINE CAREERS – Become an Aviation Maintenance Tech. FAA approved training. Financial aid if qualified – Housing available. Job placement assistance. CALL Aviation Institute of Maintenance 877-4923059 (AAN CAN)

Become a friend of Gordon Shoes on Facebook for your chance to win great prizes and merchandise! Facebook.com/GordonShoes

Call 412.316.3342 to advertise in City Paper.

ADOPTION

ATTEND COLLEGE ONLINE from Home. *Medical, *Business, *Criminal Justice, *Hospitality. Job placement assistance. Computer available. Financial Aid if qualified. SCHEV authorized. Call 800-4819472 www.CenturaOnline.com(AAN CAN)

PREGNANT? CONSIDERING ADOPTION? Talk with caring agency specializing in matching Birthmothers with Families Nationwide. LIVING EXPENSES PAID. Call 24/7 Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions 866-413-6293 Void in Illinois/New Mexico

HAULING

D & S HAULING Reliable Low Rates

Find your next place to “WORK” in City Paper!

ADOPT Adoring Couple, Exec & stay home mom, puppies, Love & Laughter awaits your baby. Expenses Paid Bob & Maria

1-800-989-6766

Call NOW

412-877-0730

COUNSELING

• New Walk-In Cooler and Freezer Pittsburgh Montessori Pre K-8 201 S. Graham St. Mechanical and Electrical Primes

Project Manual and Drawings for bidding purposes will be available for purchase by Contractors March 4 and March 11, 2013 at Modern Reproductions, 127 McKean Street, Pittsburgh, Pa., 15219 from 9:00 A.M. to 4:00 P.M. Modern Reproductions may be contacted by Phone at 412-488-7700 or Fax at 412-488-7338 to determine the cost of the Project Manual and Documents. The cost of the Project Manual Documents is non-refundable. Project details and dates are described in each project manual. We are an equal rights and opportunity school district. Parent hotline: 412-622-7920/www.pps.k12.pa.us

Application Deadline May 24th

CLASSES

Specializing in Treatment of Depression and Anxiety Now Accepting New Clients with BC/BS and UPMC Insurance 412.848.1117 george@ssmha.net www.ssmha.net

DISCLAIMER: ALTHOUGH MOST ADVERTISING IN PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER ARE LEGITIMATE BUSINESSES, PRIOR TO INVESTING MONEY OR USING A SERVICE LOCATED WITHIN ANY SECTION OF THE CLASSIFIEDS WE SUGGEST THE FOLLOWING PROCEDURE: ASK FOR REFERENCES & BUSINESS LICENSE NUMBER, OR CALL/WRITE: THE BETTER BUSINESS BUREAU AT 412-456-2700 / 300 SIXTH AVE., STE 100-UL / PITTSBURGH, PA 15222. REMEMBER: IF IT SOUNDS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE, IT USUALLY IS! N E W S

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STUDIES CLINICAL STUDIES

CLINICAL STUDIES

NAMASTE! Find a healthy balance of the mind, body and spirit with one of our massage therapists, yoga, or spa businesses!

The numbers don’t lie! How many people actually READ the classifieds? Check it out! CP 252,391 Trib Classifieds 65,075 PG Classifieds 60,463 City Paper has more eyes on the prize than other publications in the market! Advertise TODAY!

Blood Pressure and

The Brain Research study with one MRI and two interview sessions seeks healthy adults ages 35-60. Cannot have low blood pressure, hypertension, heart disease, or diabetes. $150 compensation. Will be invited to repeat study in 2 years with additional compensation. Contact Kim Novak 412-246-6200 novakkj@upmc.edu

CLINICAL STUDIES

CLINICAL STUDIES

Call 412.316.3342 to advertise in City Paper.

Find a new place to “LIVE” in City Paper!

{BY BEN TAUSIG}

GOUT? CALL TODAY!

412.363.1900 CTRS

DIABETES AND ON METFORMIN? CALL TODAY!

VAGINAL DRYNESS? CALL TODAY!

412.363.1900 CTRS

MENSTRUAL CRAMPS?

Ink Well

412.363.1900 CTRS

ASTHMA? Call Preferred Primary Care Physicians at

412-650-6155

IBS? Call Preferred Primary Care Physicians at

412-650-6155

See what our clients are saying been very In the past two years, I’ve ads and our of ign des the satisfied with both n I know I have Whe ke. evo they e ons the resp subjects in the 24-35 to advertise for research k of using the City thin tely edia imm I p, age grou Paper.

CALL TODAY!

412.363.1900 CTRS

— Mary Beth Tedesco, CRNP, University of Pittsburgh

ACROSS 1. Finished the cake, say 5. Roasts 9. Safe space 14. Word in absorbency 15. Little on “The Wire” 16. Tequila source 17. Acknowledged guilt, perhaps 18. What an electroencephalograph shows 20. At-a-loss utterance 21. Big ___ of OutKast 22. It’s a lot less slimy if you roast it, actually 23. A-lists, hopefully 27. BBC competitor 30. Like some credit in school 31. At-a-loss utterance 32. “Call of Duty: Black Ops II” desert setting 33. Heat meas. 35. “Nobody wants to see you slobbering all over each other” 38. Certain spring training matches, and a hint to this puzzle’s theme 42. Extremely goofy duck-billed creature 43. Quick moment, quickly 44. Character who literally “jumped the shark” 45. “___ like I said ...” 47. Golfer Cheyenne Woods, to Tiger 51. Source of some private pain?: Abbr. 52. They match for

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CLUBHOUSE DIVISION

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.13/03.20.2013

residency 55. Swiss jet magnate 57. Tennis’s Ivanovic 58. Spice amt., perhaps 59. Ironically titled Lennon/Ono album 63. They might make you scratch your head 64. Chemical warfare chemical 65. Mountain man’s tool 66. Cutting line? 67. Confuse 68. Historical autocrat 69. Lions’ arenas?

DOWN 1. Like most cocaine, to some degree 2. Hybrid west coast cuisine 3. Not on the hook, as for taxation 4. “Which way ___ they go?” 5. 1970s funk dance, with “the” 6. “Triple sevens! Triple sevens!” 7. Ovine exclamation 8. ___ Lanka 9. Strike supporters? 10. Gelatinous dessert ingredient 11. “So sexy!” 12. Biblical woman whose name means “life” 13. Contra platform, briefly 19. Go to sleep, with “off” 21. Spoiled, maybe 24. Kayak alternative, transportation-wise

25. Frequently hot and sticky months 26. Perlman on the rocks with Danny DeVito 28. Certain reed 29. Uses a sight 32. Mr. Burns’s wife? 34. Pill-bottle letters 36. They may be celebrated after throwing bombs: Abbr. 37. Sheet at a meeting 38. They’re often higher for the fair 39. Burial unit 40. One who may charge a flat fee 41. Pound, in British slang 46. Poetic subunit 48. Draw in

49. X-ray type 50. Telepaths 52. State that divides its Electoral College votes 53. Write well as hell, say? 54. Chief Wayne ___ (“Sons of Anarchy” character) 56. Complimentary adjective for a metal band 59. Org. that enforces liquid regulations 60. Spitball shape 61. Piece, in ‘90s hip-hop 62. Young people may carry fake ones 63. Subject of secret Cold War military experiments {LAST WEEK’S ANSWERS}


Want to make a difference? Healthy Volunteers Needed for Hormonal Vaginal Ring Research Study You may be eligible to participate if you are: 18-39 years old In general good health Have regular periods Not pregnant or breastfeeding • Are willing to abstain from sexual activity, OR are sexually active and willing to use condoms, OR you are sterilized OR with one partner who has a vasectomy • Are willing to come to MageeWomens Hospital for up to 54 visits over 8 months • • • •

Participants will be compensated up to $2,930 for their time and travel For more information please contact:

The Center for Family Planning at

412-641-5496

or visit: www.birthcontrolstudies.org

Are you interested in a long-term method of birth control? YOU MAY BE ELIGIBLE IF YOU: • Are a non-pregnant woman between 16 and 35 years old • Are in need of contraception • Have regular periods • Are willing to come to Magee-Womens Hospital to complete up to 14 or more visits over a five year period The Center for Family Planning Research is conducting a research study of an investigational contraceptive intrauterine device (IUD). Participants will receive study-related exams and study-related birth control at no cost. To see if you qualify, please call the Center for Family Planning Research at 412-641-5496 or visit our website at www.birthcontrolstudies.org.Participants will be reimbursed up to $1030 over five years.

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Addiction & Recovery Health Services

SUBOXONE TREATMENT Caring Help for Opiate Addiction

• Experienced, caring therapy and medical staff. • Private, professional setting. • Downtown office near public transportation and parking. • Medication by prescription coverage or self-pay.

Immediate openings. Now accepting Highmark and self-paying clients.

412.246.8965, ext. 9

WELLNESS COUNSELING

MIND & BODY

Advertise your GOODS in City Paper and reach over 300,000 readers per month. Now that’s SERVICE!

Sneakers not meant to be in the box. New Balance Pittsburgh. Oakland & Waterfront. www.lifestyleshoe. com.

;;;;;;;;;;;;

massage

SELF-ESTEEM WORKSHOPS 412-400-7159

JADE Wellness Center

SUBOXONE We treat: ~ Opiate Addiction ~ Heroin Addiction ~ And Other Drug Addiction Includes Med Management & Therapy

Premiere Outpatient Drug and Alcohol Treatment Family Owned and Operated Treating: Alcohol, Opiates, Heroin and More

• SUBOXONE • VIVITROL -

a new once a month injection for alcohol and opiate dependency

• Group and Individualized Therapy

LOCATIONS IN: Oakland, PA Downtown Pgh, PA Bridgeville, PA West View, PA Butler, PA

• NOW Treating Pregnant Women

NO WAIT LIST Accepts all major insurances and medical assistance

IMMEDIATE OPENINGS

selfesteemworkshops.com ;;;;;;;;;;;;

MIND & BODY

DEEP TISSUE MASSAGE • $40 per 60 min massage • 2hr free valet parking at the Concourse with the purchase of a 60 or 90 min massage 125 W. Station Square Dr. Station Sq. Freight Shops

PH. 412.389.8637

FB Massage / Moist. for men 40+ by mature gent. Advance Sched. 412-916-4082 lrs8690@aol.com

MIND & BODY Get the most for your money in CP Classifieds. We get great results. Call 412.316.3342

Need a new employee? Call today to speak with one of our Classified advertising representatives. We get results!

Therapy

BAD BACK OR NECK PAIN?

Trigger point Deep tissue Swedish Reflexology BLOOMFIELD 412.683.2328

STAR Superior Chinese Massage Free Table Shower w/60min Open 10-10 Daily

1310 E. Carson St. 412-488-3951

Xie LiHong’s WELLNESS CENTER

Mingkun Massage

MIND & BODY

Chinese Tuina Massage Walk-Ins Welcome 412-561-1104 3225 W. Liberty Ave. • Dormont

CHINESE MASSAGE 412-308-5540 412-548-3710 3348 Babcock Blvd. Pittsburgh

minkunmassage.com

China Massage $50/HR Free Table Shower 1788 Golden Mile Hwy Monroeville, PA 15146 Call for more information

724-519-7896 THERAPEUTIC MASSAGE FOR MEN

Sports, Swedish, Shiatsu. $50/Hour Northside Location Near Heinz Field Call Rick: 412-512-6716 www.pittsburghbodyworks.com

Therapeutic Massage Therapy Relief is just a call away. Our licensed professional staff can assist with Fibromyalgia, Circulation, Low Back Pain, Muscle Spasms. Shadyside Location

412-441-1185

Zhangs Wellness Center

Health and Wellness Directory

412-401-4110 $40/hr DOWNTOWN 322 Fourth Ave. (1st Floor)

Phoenix Spa New Young Professional Free Table Shower w/60 min. Open 10-10 Daily 4309 Butler Street

Aming’s Massage Therapy TWO LOCATIONS 1190 Washington Pike, Bridgeville (across from Eat n’ Park)

412-319-7530 4972 Library Road, Bethel Park

(Lawrenceville)

(in Hillcrest Shopping Center)

412-621-3300

412-595-8077

412.434.6700

www.ThereToHelp.org

We Accept: - UPMC for You - United Health - And Many Others 54

WE have been there WE know your pain Don’t Wait Any Longer! MONROEVILLE, PA

412-380-0100 www.myjadewellness.com

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.13/03.20.2013

Suboxone Services Pittsburgh- 412-281-1521 Beaver- 724-448-9116


LIVE

GRAND OPENING!

TIGER SPA

Judy’s Oriental Massage

GRAND OPENING!!! Best of the Best in Town!

Appointments & Walk-ins are both welcome 10am to 10pm

FULL BODY MASSAGE

420 W. Market St., Warren, OH 44481 76 West, 11 North, 82 West to Market St. 6 lights and make a left. 1/4 mile on the left hand side.

Open 9am-12 midnight 7 days a week! Licensed Professionals Dry Sauna, Table Shower, Deep Tissue, Swedish

$40/hr Now with Vichy Shower 4125 William Penn Hwy, Murrysville, PA 15668 Across the street from Howard Hanna’s

724-519-2950

330-373-0303 Credit Cards Accepted

Accepting All Major Cards

MUSICIANS LEGAL SERVICE REHEARSAL VEHICLES ADOPTION ANNOUNCEMENTS ENTERTAINERS STUDIO SPACE Advertise your GOODS in City Paper and reach over 300,000 readers per month. Now that’s SERVICE!

EAST FOR RENT

ROOMMATES

MOVING SERVICES

ALL AREAS - ROOMMATES.COM. Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: http:// www.Roommates.com. (AAN CAN)

ABC SELF STORAGE5x10 $45, 10x10 $65, 10x15 $95. (2) locations Mckees Rocks & South Side. 412-403-6069

Find your next place to “WORK” in City Paper!

NAMASTE! Find a healthy balance of the mind, body and spirit with one of our massage therapists, yoga, or spa businesses!

MONTOUR SCHOOL DISTRICT $ 149,900 Kennedy Twp. Beautiful-Brick, 3 BR, 1.5 BA Ranch with formal dinning room.Updated Kitchen, Bath and 150 amp Electric. Semi-Finished Basement. one car int/grg. Lovely, level backyard with a new patio. Must see.

Call George E Lucas 412-771-8400 #1 Choice Real Estate

Xin Sui Bodyworks

Lawrenceville- Quality! EVERYTHING NEW! reduced 2BR, $1,050. 2 stry, 2-3BR, 2BA, $1,450. MJ Kelly Rlty 412-736-0906 Advertise your GOODS in City Paper and reach over 300,000 readers per month. Now that’s SERVICE!

BUY and SELL your HOME all in the Same Place! Advertise here in the “LIVE” section of the City Paper

HOUSE FOR SALE HOUSE FOR SALE

New Price $ 360,000 - Mexican War Street Totally Renovated3-story, brick, 3 BR, 2 BA home. Original details, mantels, with 5 fireplaces. Beautiful woodwork & copper downspouts. Extra lot included. Call George E Lucas to see.

Cheaper than Rent $ 47,900 - Stowe Twp. Well Maintained - 2 BR, Frame Cape Cod set on a large level, fenced-in lot. Features a gas furnace with central air. Ready to move in. Call George E Lucas Today

There is light at the end of the tunnel.

Grand Opening

$49.99/ hour Free Vichy Shower with 1HR or more body work (Body shower and Body Scrub) Essential Oil used at no extra charge 2539 Monroeville Blvd Ste 200 Monroeville, Pa 15146 Next to Twin Fountain Plaza 412-335-6111

Find your next job in the City Paper’s “WORK” section. N E W S

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Win Tickets to

America’s Greatest Game Shows Sundays and Mondays in March 12:00AM - 11:59PM Earn 100 same day base points and swipe at the kiosk for your chance to win Free Slot Play, a gift, or 2 free tickets to the Game Show!

$100K Cash prize available at each show

plus thousands of dollars in other prizes too! Show dates April 6 & 7 | 2PM & 7PM | Banquet Space Must be a Rush Rewards Players Club member. One swipe per person per promotional day. Full details available at Rush Rewards Players Club.

SLOTS | TABLE GAMES | DINING | NIGHTLIFE 777 CASINO DRIVE, PITTSBURGH NEXT TO HEINZ FIELD RIVERSCASINO.COM Starring Bob Eubanks

GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER. MUST BE 21 YEARS OR OLDER TO BE ON RIVERS CASINO PROPERTY.


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