girls, and early intervention programs for people who were mentally ill. Toler won re-election with 80 percent of the vote. “I think I was a really good judge, but I think the best work I did as a judge was not in the robe but in the classes I held,” Toler said. In 2001, Judge Toler became the host of the nationally syndicated show “Power of Attorney,” which eventually led to her current show.To this day, she is not sure how her audition came about. “I was a sitting judge in Cleveland Heights and I received a phone call from 20th Century Fox Television. They said they heard I was interesting and would I like to audition so I did. I don't know how they heard about me.” When she left the bench for the television show, her mother accused her of “failing up.” But her mother has come around and enjoys it when Toler gets recognized in airports. And Toler credits her mother’s “emotional acuity” for much of her success. “She taught me how to read people and emotions.” In fact, her first book was My Mother’s Rules: A Practical Guide to Becoming an Emotional Genius. The book celebrates her mother’s keen insight into the development of emotional maturity, and how she transmitted that trait to her daughter.
Her second book, published last August, is Making Marriage
Work: New Rules for an Old Institution. As its name suggests, in Divorce Court Toler resolves the disputes of divorcing couples who agree to submit to binding arbitration with respect to some item or money. The show has expanded over the years to include “advice episodes” in which couples come on the show to have Toler help them resolve marital issues.
One of her favorite episodes was one in which the bride slept
with her best man rather than the groom on their wedding night. Divorce Court “is not Masterpiece Theater. I get that. I’m not changing the world for the better,” Toler said. “It’s a look at the human condition with a sense of humor.”
Lynn Toler
speaks her mind in oh-so-colorful ways. The easiest way to stay out of trouble is to stay away from where it lives. A lie can actually start feeling like the truth if you tell it often enough. And if you don’t pay attention, the day may come when you can no longer tell the difference between the two. The Streetcar Named Desire routinely picks up the unaware at the Terminal of Unrequited Love. And if its passengers aren’t careful, this particular trolley will transport them all the way to court. Insult is the poster boy for putting the way you feel in front of what you need to do. In modern-day marriage, love is king. But, as in all of life, practicality is queen. And I believe it is time to show Her Highness some respect. Men have to fight a couple of extra emotional battles in order to pick up the mop. They have to fight the one that involves the ego and the societal notion that cleaning really isn’t a man’s job. No man goes out and talks to his boys about the Dyson vacuum he just got. Though you can’t decide who you fall in love with, you can decide who you marry. An intelligent approach to marriage requires an intelligent approach to money. Our humanity encompasses all of the creative ways we find to do the wrong thing.
Nonetheless, she believes the show has a certain value. “I try
to say at least one thing about relationships and how to make better decisions every day. I talk about practical things that help people get along. I do get feedback from people about those messages.”
You can follow Judge Lynn Toler on Twitter at @RealJudgeLynn.
Lynn Toler L’84 and her mom, Toni.
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