04 ON THE COVER 06 LETTER FROM THE EDITOR 08 HOMETOWN HEROES 10 MUSIC FEATURE - BIG HARP 14 MUSIC COVER FEATURE -DERADOORIAN 18 MUSIC ARTICLE - REPLACING THE IRREPLACEABLE 22 MUSIC ARTICLE -THE BOTS ARE LUCKY ... 26 MUSIC REVIEWS 32 BEAUTY ARTICLE- TRAVEL GUIDE 34 BEAUTY ARTICLE- THE HEALTH AND BEAUTY BENEFITS.... 36 FASHION EDITORIAL -IN THE LIGHT OF THINGS 54 FASHION EDITORIAL - FOUND YOU 68 FASHION ARTICLE -AROUND THE CORNER 70 FASHION EDITORIAL - HERE RIGHT HERE 78 FASHION EDITORIAL -TONIGHT AND FOREVER 86 FASHION EDITORIAL - VACATION 104 HOROSCOPES 106 IN THE NEXT ISSUE...
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DERADOORIAN SISTERS ANGEL AND ARLENE DERADOORIAN PHOTOGRAPHY BY PAULIFORNIA PERFORMING LIVE AT THE CONSTELLATION ROOM IN SANTA ANA CALIFORNIA SUNDAY, FEB 8, 2015
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Hey Dudes! So another amazing month has gone by and we survived yet again! We work really hard for you over here. We hope you know that. It’s 2am and I’m writing this. It’s on my to-do list for wrapping up this issue. This month we had some awesome things happen. We got next month’s cover model all lined up (and we’re so excited about her!) and her agency is being super awesome. We also have the following cover lined up with one of my all-time favorite bands. I seriously am going to be on cloud nine if that all pans out the way it’s being planned. We’re working on trying to make each section better and better. When we started this magazine we talked about how we didn’t just want to be fluff. We’ve actually been keeping to that. In fact this month we (more me) put the band The Bots on blast for the way they treated me at a show. Last month we talked about how lame Burger Records is and some of the bands on that label. We know that we can’t always please all people. We want likeminded readers and it seems we have truly found that. Thank you for starting to show up in social media and other things… we were beginning to wonder if you’re really there. Last month our number of reads went up quite a bit and our impressions even more. Let me explain… impressions are when our magazine is shown on a website or is accessible. Reads are when someone reads it for more than 30 seconds. Last month we went from our average 25k reads to almost 40k, and our impressions are in the 150k! The work is really getting out. So thankful to all the contributors who have sent in editorials for fashion. Thank you to the awesome bands who let us talk with you. Thank you to you the readers for showing interest in our little pressure cooker (especially at the end of the month haha!). So far no one has made a cent doing this magazine. This is a labor of love (not to mention time and finances) but you know what? It’s so worth it to me you guys. I love the fact that I can go to shows and enjoy some great bands, (or bands that treat me like total crap) or I get to go out and shoot an editorial. It’s awesome cause when I’m shooting or writing it’s no longer for me it’s for you and I just want to share the experience I’m having. So bands, if we ask you to be a part of this magazine it’s not for our gain in any way, shape, or form. It’s because we believe in what you’re doing musically. We want to share with our readers what you’re all about. We get nothing out of doing this for you but merely being the middle man that gets to say… I know this rad band (musician etc.) that you should check out. Speaking of which, big thanks to this month’s articles with Deradoorian whose music is just so damn beautiful, and to the band BIG HARP who totally shocked us with their sound and energy. Anyway thanks for ruling! Love and Emo, Paul(ifornia)
WRITERS! WHAT’S UP?
publisher
PAULIFORNIA
editor in chief PAUL RIVERA
managing editor JACKIE SUEHR
fashion director
SASHA GOLDENBERGER
beauty editors
MAREN GALINDO & RICKIE BOCANEGRA
music director PAUL RIVERA
creative director
PAULIFORNIA CREATIVE AGENCY
illustration contributors BEN MATSUYA
editorial contributors
COREY MANSKE, AYLA HENDERSON, PAUL RIVERA, MAREN GALINDO, RICKIE BOCANEGRA, CARINNA GAUDRY
photographic contributors
PRESTON WINGROVE, ALLIE TUAZON, NICHOLE ANNE ROBBINS, ERIN MARIE MILLER, PAULIFORNIA, RICKIE BOCANEGRA, MAREN GALINDO, CHASE DUN, AND VERONICA CHANNEL
Pastorale is an online-only magazine, produced with the intent to unify music, fashion and lifestyle into a congruent publication. As individuals, we all possess a variety of diverse tastes; it is our purpose to mirror these variances and to incite reflection and intellect. We are not a men’s magazine. We are not a women’s magazine. We are a human magazine. Our articles are not fluff. We aspire to produce an experience for our readers, to compel thought provoking opinions and to inspire creativity in all. Collaboration is what makes this special. We are you.
LOOKING FOR WRITERS AND PEOPLE INTERESTED IN INTERVIEWING! EMAIL US! INFO@PASTORALEMAGAZINE.COM
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ELECTRA IS MADE WITH COCOA BUTTER, EXTRACTED FROM THE SOUTH AMERICAN FRUIT THAT HAS LONG BEEN PRIZED FOR ITS NATURAL NOURISHING PROPERTIES AND HEALTHY ANTIOXIDANTS. WHEN APPLIED, COCOA BUTTER BECOMES A PROACTIVE COMPONENT IN PROTECTING THE HAIR AND SCALP FROM THE ALKALINE IN COLOR SERVICE. NORMALLY, THE DAMAGE DISRUPTS THE LIPIDS, FATTY ACIDS, PROTEINS, AND WATER IN THE HAIR BUT ELECTRA HAIR COLOR IS DESIGNED TO PROTECT YOUR HAIR DURING THIS TIME.
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/ T RY C O L O R E D G E @T RY C O L O R E D G E
T H E
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B E H I N D
WILDERESS K R I S T I N A
This month’s Hometown Hero is Kristina Kochan from Wilderess. She’s from Long Beach, California and is a boutique maker of candles, lip balms and jewelry. Working from her father’s built-out garage, she creates special scents for her candles like Cactus Blossom, Brown Sugar, Bamboo, Cucumber Melon Combo, Desert Flower, Driftwood, Fresh Cotton, Oak and Amber, Passion Fruit, Rose, and Sweet Tobacco, among many others, and she even creates special limited edition versions. For lip-balms she has created flavors, Honeydew, Lavender Lemon, Peppermint, Sweet Almond, Vanilla, Sweet Rose, and the list goes on! We know that just listing the flavors is almost the easy way out, but she really has something special going on here and there is a lot of thought and care put into each candle, balm and tinted lip balm. After our short conversation Kristina left me with the feeling that she has a real passion for this, and it’s not just a job or a way to make cash. She loves building and assembling all these complex flavors and scents and this is exactly why we chose her as March’s Hometown Hero. Her hard work is paying off as she continues to grow both nationally and internationally. Below we had a Facebook chat about Wilderess and what Kristina has been up to.
Pastorale Magazine: So you’re the owner of Wilderess which we know you as a boutique Candle maker. Do you also make jewelry or anything else too? Kristina Kochan: I actually started my business by making all natural, simple recipe lip balms. A botched batch actually led to the candle making because I didn’t want to waste my ingredients. For fun, I make jewelry on occasion and if it seems like something my customers will like, I list it on my website. The rest of the jewelry listed has been hunted for on various trips of mine.
Pastorale: Oh that’s amazing! So you accidentally fell into candle making! I love that. How long have you been in business? Kristina: Yes! I started my business shortly after graduating from CSULB in summer of 2013.
Pastorale: How exciting. So is this your full-time gig? Or are you trying to grow it so it can be? Kristina: This is currently my full-time gig! Happily so. Hoping to keep growing, but at a pace that is manageable so I can maintain the handcrafted quality I’m proud of!
Pastorale: That is so awesome to hear. It’s very hard being selfemployed and I’m sure you find yourself working 7 days a week, but its got to be so rewarding to see people loving your products. Kristina: 24/7! Filling multiple roles, too! I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t love it and love sharing my products!
Pastorale: This is why we chose you as a Hometown Hero! We like to choose people who love what they do, and do something special with their hands, hearts and minds. You mentioned that you’d like to grow but maintain that handcrafted quality... do you do everything yourself or do you have a staff yet? Kristina: I currently do everything by myself. It’s manageable for now, but I’m hopeful I’ll be in a place soon where I can acquire some help. For right now I don’t feel ready. It’s my baby, of course, but I also would want to be able to provide a lot to an employee.
Pastorale: So do you do all of this from your home?
Kristina: I work out of a finished room in my dad’s garage. He’s been incredibly accommodating and supportive. I try to keep my work there and away from my apartment so I get some rest once and awhile!
Pastorale: It’s got to be nice to be able to separate home from work. My first few years of business was from home and it was insanely difficult to not work all the time cause I felt guilty knowing there was work that I could be doing. Sounds like you’ve got a great set up. So tell us about your scents/flavors of candles and lip balms. Kristina: My lip balms are flavored with natural essential oils and flavor oils. There’s a good range of sweet, floral, and minty so whatever you crave, we’ve got something! My candle line is ever-changing and growing by season and month. I tend to
K O C H A N
gravitate towards the more masculine scents for my own personal use such as Oak & Amber and Sweet Tobacco. They both sell consistently well year round. Still, we have floral scents, complex blends, musky scents, and more to appeal to different noses.
Pastorale: So you add scents/flavors for certain seasons and then remove them? Like limited edition? Kristina: Yes. I find it helps keep my customers trying new things and helps me stay excited about what I’m producing.
Pastorale: So let’s just say with candles, what’s the process in creating a new scent? Do you plan out ahead of time or do you do what chefs do and work with it until it’s just right? Kristina: Candle making in and of itself is a lot of chemistry. I have tons of vials of different scents. I blend them in a little paper cup until I find one I like. Then, I revisit it a few more times before making a couple sample candles. I’ll burn them in various rooms of my apartment and have friends provide feedback. After these steps, I decide if it’s worth producing for my customers.
Pastorale: Generally, how many units do you end up making for a limited or seasonal run? Kristina: It depends on the scent and how many of my retailers pick it up. Mistletoe, for example, which sells during the winter holiday months is notorious for selling out. I made and sold well over 300 units for various retailers and craft shows I participated in.
Pastorale: What flavor is your best seller? Kristina: There are definitely a few ties, but Oak & Amber, the first scent I ever produced, is my overall best seller.
Pastorale: So going back to you filling in many different roles for your company. Do you have a favorite part of running the business and a least favorite part? Kristina: LEAST favorite is SO easy-accounting! Nothing in the world I hate more. My favorite part is product development. I love the creativity and experimentation that goes with the process.
Pastorale: I totally agree! I hate all that paperwork. People who love that end have a special amount of patience which I don’t think I’ll ever understand. I noticed on your website that you have retailers nationally and internationally. That has got to be exciting for a new business. Do you have any future plans for growth as far as new products or do you want to stick to what you’re doing now? Kristina: Ah! I have so many ideas. None that I can really advertise now because I would hate to disappoint my customers if I changed my mind on some of them, but I’m always trying to find ways to be relevant and new again. So far, all my retailers have found me. I’m hoping I can make some time this year to find some retailers, too!
Pastorale: Is there anything you’d like to share that’s upcoming? Kristina: I’ve got a few new scents I have been working on. One will come out each month for the next three months!
Pastorale: So where is the best place for people to find out more about your products and where to buy them? Kristina: My website is a great place to start! They can visit www.wilderess.com and learn about everything from what’s in our products, ingredient by ingredient, to who carries us and what events we’ve got planned. Of course, they can always write us directly, too!
Pastorale: Thank you so much for taking time to hang out with us! Is there any last words or anything you’d like to share with our readers? Kristina: Thank you for speaking with US! The only thing left to say is that I hope that your readers feel inspired after learning a bit more from a small business to buy from small makers and shop locally. It’s such a great (and easy) way to help your community and local economy!
P H O T O G R A P H Y B Y P R E S T O N W I N G R O V E S T O R Y B Y P A U L I F O R N I A 8 | PASTORALE | MARCH 2015
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HOMETOWN HEROES
are Small Businesses, Hand Crafted Artisans, Do It Yourselfers, and Inspirers. Trailblazing their own paths in their community by actually doing something special with their hands, hearts and/ or minds.
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Pastorale: Awesome. I love what you guys are doing. It’s definitely psychedelic but also has that garage vibe too. Big Harp: Yeah, totally. It just feels like who we are.
Pastorale: So you’re currently on tour... how far out are you going? Big Harp: Just a quick one. Going up to Visalia and San Jose and then back home for a couple 7” release shows, then heading to SXSW.
Pastorale: Any plans for a full length (or EP)? Big Harp: Yeah, we’re stoked. We recorded a bunch of songs with John Congleton and are hoping for a summer/fall release.
Pastorale: Are you touring with another band or doing this trek on your own? Big Harp: On our own!
Pastorale: What about to SXSW? On your own again or with the label? Big Harp: We are playing a couple different showcases. One is a Planetary Radio showcase which we are super happy about because they are amazing people.
Pastorale: I’m sure you’ll have fun and kill it out there! Big Harp: Thanks! We are looking forward to it.
Pastorale: Obviously you all write your own parts but is there a main song writer or person who writes most the songs? Big Harp: Chris usually brings in a skeleton and then we build it from there. He writes all the lyrics.
Pastorale Magazine: So it was quite random how I ran into you guys. I actually was going to snap some pics of The Bots cause we just reviewed their latest album. It was a pleasant surprise. I love that feeling when you’re almost blindsided by good music. With Big Harp I didn’t expect it and it hit hard like a mack truck! So tonight was a KROQ locals only show...were you guys on Kat’s (Corbett) show before this? How did you end up playing the show? Big Harp: I don’t believe we have been on Kat’s show. Not totally sure how it all happened. We were just asked to play.
Pastorale: You have a new 7” coming out. Tell us about that. Is it your first release? Big Harp: Yep! Super stoked about it. It’s coming out on Fat Possum (records) on March 10th. It’s called “It’s A Shame”.
Pastorale: Are you doing digital as well? Or digital download with purchase? Big Harp: We are! I mean I think we are. I assume we are! I hope so.
Pastorale: Hahaha... just for those wierdos who don’t have a record player haha. Big Harp: Totally. At our last show someone asked if our 7” would play on a normal record player.
Pastorale: That’s brilliant! So how long have you guys been doing Big Harp? Just browsing your Facebook looks like you’ve been playing a lot. Big Harp: A few years, but what we are doing now is pretty different. We have a drummer now so it’s a totally different dynamic. We only really play songs that are on the upcoming releases. Kind of outgrew the previous format.
Pastorale: So originally it was a two piece? Chris and Stefanie who are married? On a side note I love all these husband and wife (or wife and husband) bands. It’s cool to see. Big Harp: Yep. Chris and I are married. It wasn’t a two piece. We would have drummers fill in. It started off as kind of a stripped down folk project and now it’s morphed into more of a fuzzed out trashy, psychedelic pop thing. 12 | PASTORALE | MARCH 2015
Pastorale: I love the chemistry you three have on stage. All of your parts are so individual but they create this one perfect uniform sound. That’s rare to find now-a-days ... that good musical chemistry. Big Harp: Hey, thanks! We do really vibe off each other. Again, it all comes together pretty natural between the three of us.
Pastorale: do you guys have a lot of songs ready to be recorded or are you working on new stuff for future records etc.? Big Harp: We have tons of new stuff all the time. It’s almost a problem how fast we write. By the time a record comes out we have another one written. Chris and I live together and Daniel is over all the time so it kind of never stops. In short, we have tons of songs ready to be recorded along with a full length record that hasn’t been released yet.
Pastorale: I can totally relate cause an old band of mine was like that, a three piece, with musicians who knew what they’re doing and have a chemistry with each other. Reminds me of bands like Cream. Another good thing is you can have tons of “B” sides. Big Harp: Haha. Totally.
Pastorale: So where should people go to check you guys out? Website? Campgrounds? You’ll send out smoke signals? Big Harp: Yes, smoke signals. Also we have www.bigharp.com, Twitter @BigHarp and Instagram@bigharpband
Pastorale: One last question....is the dress White and Gold or Black and Blue? Big Harp: On first glance, White and Gold.
Pastorale: Haha that’s what I say! Look at it again tomorrow it may change on ya! Big Harp: Funny, will do!
Pastorale: You guys rule! Thanks again for taking the time to chat. Sweet dreams Big Harp! Big Harp: Sweet Dreams. WWW.PASTORALEMAGAZINE.COM
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D E R AD OORIAN S TO RY
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Chills. Literally. There are times when music effects you so much it becomes physical. Now I’ve heard some of Deradoorian’s music before so I kinda knew what I was getting into when I went to shoot them for this show. Deradoorian is the surname of sisters Angel and Arlene. Deradoorian is Angel’s solo project. Angel is known for her role in the band The Dirty Projectors which had musical collaborations with Bjork. Currently she is also in the band Avey Tare’s Slasher Flicks.
would be nice to have a full band and to flesh out all the parts for a live setting to get the full, saturated versions of the songs. There’s quite a bit more going on in the recorded compositions.
I initially fell in love with Angel’s voice a couple years ago when I heard it in this short film (which I can’t find the name, or anything about it any longer… believe me I tried) it was her song ‘Carry the Deed’ which is so hauntingly beautiful it isn’t even funny. So when I put two and two together that, that same singer is Deradoorian and vice versa, we had to have them in the magazine. It just so happens they opened for Zola Jesus who you all know I love love love.
Pastorale: Your live performance with your sister was brilliant. The two of your voices together, looping, is hauntingly beautiful. I literally got the chills. I noticed that a lot of your newer songs (or songs I personally haven’t heard before) are very vocally driven using sounds to make loops and beats and harmonies… tell us a little bit about your writing process because of the complexity of the songs, you can tell they have been thoughtfully planned out.
I expected to see a full band but nope, it was just Angel and her sister Arlene. My first thought was “ok so this will be mellow”, but that changed to more of an epic over all feeling. Facing each other, they had an amazing chemistry (which is to be expected being sisters), their vocal harmonies and instruments looping, and the beats of the drums, the skillful playing of the bass, keys and flute, it all came together into this huge wall of sound. The hair on my neck stood up as I realized that these two voices were nearly identical and were perfectly in key as they fed off each other. It was a really cool give and take vibe both musically and vocally creating the chills not only with me but in a lot of the other onlookers.
Angel: Thank you! The new songs are very vocally driven songs with the idea to have some strong beats behind them all. I think for debuting this new material it felt right to focus on vocals more. ‘Mind Raft’ (2009 EP) was very minimal in vocal composition, which I like, but wanted to try something different and more challenging. As far as the writing process - I don’t have a particular instrument I write on. Things show up how they will and I work off of that. Sometimes it’s a beat, sometimes a keyboard melody, sometimes a vocal part. I have written complete structured songs on one instrument, which is also interesting to me to have that kind of focus. It feels weird sometimes, but it takes on a very different finished product. Sometimes writing on one instrument first allots much more room to create interesting beats and other instrumental parts around it that I don’t achieve in the collage version of writing.
Pastorale Magazine: So Deradoorian is the name of your solo project which incidentally is your surname. I read that it’s of Armenian descent. It’s so beautiful and fits so perfectly with your music. Was there a reason you chose to (musically speaking) go by your last name? Any special meanings? Angel Deradoorian: I had a hard time figuring out what name would suit my solo project. Deradoorian is a unique name, but also a little difficult, but I ended up going with it. I also thought it would be cool to illuminate my family name in the music world. I think in some way the name has subconsciously dictated some of the sonic path the music has taken. There are some Armenian elements flowing through my songs right now. Apparently Deradoorian means son of the priest.
Pastorale: Your solo debut was in 2009 self-titled as ‘Deradoorian’. Do you have plans for a follow-up record? Angel: Definitely have plans for a follow up record. Keep your eyes peeled for 2015.
Pastorale: So you recently toured with Zola Jesus. How was the tour? Did you know Nika (Zola Jesus) from before this tour? Angel: The tour with Zola Jesus was far beyond my expectations in the most positive way. I did not know her or her band before heading out on the tour. It’s always a gamble in those situations whether or not you’ll get along with the other group. Nika and everyone in her band and crew are some of the most wonderful people I’ve ever worked with. I love all of them so much. Nika is incredible, and I feel privileged to have seen her perform and transform on her tour. She’s a very unique, smart, kind, and spiritual person with a lot to give to the musical world.
Pastorale: Any fun, crazy, or wild stories from this tour? Angel: We had a pretty wild karaoke night in Buffalo after a long drive. We all went out to this random spot and were the only people there. The song selection was super random so we ended up singing some pretty weird tunes. It was hilarious. The karaoke spot also provided plenty of silly props for us to wear like oversized sunglasses and sparkly tiaras. It was a night not to be forgotten.
Pastorale: It seems like the lineup for Deradoorian changes. That sometimes you play with a larger group or even by yourself. When we caught your recent live show, you played as a duo with your sister Arlene, is this the direction you’re moving in? Angel: I don’t have a particular direction at the moment. This duo seemed appropriate and good for this tour as openers. I wanted to keep a small set up and travel operation for this first bigger tour to make things flow well. It was really fun putting the songs together with my sister because we had to pick the most essential parts of the songs and magnify them as strongly as possible. Eventually, I think it
Pastorale: Have you done any other projects with your sister before? Angel: Arlene has played in the Deradoorian Trio before, which included my brother. We haven’t really done any projects outside of this.
Pastorale: From what I gathered you play flute, keys, bass, guitar and sing. Are there any other instruments I’m missing? Angel: I like to play drums, but I’m not great at them. They’re a very interesting instrument and it’s fun to write beats on them because I’m not a conventional drummer, so some stuff comes out sounding pretty odd. I play harmonium and accordion. I’m not good on the stringed/bowed instruments or woodwinds that require a reed. That shit is hard.
Pastorale: You’re definitely a multi-instrumentalist with a lot of real talent. Is there one instrument you prefer over the other? Angel: My favorite instrument right now is the bass guitar. I think it is such a multivalent instrument taking on many different roles depending on how one uses it. It enriches music in a way that no other instrument can. I also love the way it feels to play bass, plucking the strings, or using the pick to play fast.
Pastorale: Your song ‘Carry the Deed’ is one of my all-time favorites. (I’m sure you hear that a lot.) Words can’t accurately describe its beauty. I actually first heard the song cause it was a backing track of this short film that was just as hauntingly beautiful. It was this little girl who was walking in the woods with her (what seemed like) her deceased father. (I forgot the name of the film-maker if you could remind us that would rule!) It seemed like you wrote that song specifically for that film. Was that the case? Or was it made for your song? Angel: Thanks very much. I’m not sure what the short film is you are talking about. Perhaps I’ve seen it a long time ago, but it’s not ringing a bell. It’s the only song I’ve made a proper music video for, so that’s all I’ve known of it film-wise (I think).
Pastorale: Do a lot of people ask to have your music used in their films etc.? The main reason I ask is because it seems like your music tells a story and pulls at the heart strings. Angel: Not a lot of people. I don’t think a lot of people know my full ability yet, not even myself, with my music. I haven’t released a lot of music or shared my new music with many so it’s still in those beginning stages. I would love to write film music and would be into having my songs in movies (if the movie is rad), but I’m not commonly asked. Right now, I like creating songs that can give an element of time travel or taking you to some world you haven’t gotten to go to. That’s what I want with music I listen to, so perhaps that’s where the cinematic aspect comes in.
Angel is so aweomse! Make sure and check out what she’s up to. She’s always collaborating with great artists. Google her and turn the volume up!
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W R I T T E N
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Imagine selling your house, packing a large rental truck with all your stuff and moving to California to join a band that’s being scouted by a major record label. Naturally as you rolled into town, you’d drop off the necessities at your new (smaller) place and then proceed to the nearest storage facility for the nearly impossible feat of cramming your remaining life accessories into a damp, oddly-shaped, smallish room with that unmistakable scent. Near the end of your larger than life-sized game of Jenga, after balancing a coffee table upside down on top of your vertical couch tower, you realize the drums should go in last so they’ll be right there in front and easy to grab when rehearsals begin. Funny thing…after that epically long day your padlocks ended up with the kitchen stuff in the new apartment. Take one guess what happens when you buy locks from a front desk guy at the storage facility. Ladies and gentlemen please welcome our guest, inside job.
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B Y
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Just so we’re all clear, I’m the jackass that left my padlocks in my new kitchen and opted for new locks from the guy at Public Storage (you have no idea how badly I wanted to type the address here). Would anyone like to guess what I found when I returned to my storage unit three weeks later? Let’s just put it this way; all of the shit I didn’t need was right there where I left it, while some of the shit I really needed was not. So, I called the Irvine Police (I had to give you a hint) to file a report. When the officer arrived, he listened to my story and kept repeating that only one thing had been stolen- a large leather cymbal bag with two side compartments. Then it hit me that he had no clue about how much stuff could be in a drummer’s cymbal bag or the thousands of dollars that stuff cost. At that point it was up to me to start giving him the details so I began listing dozens of items that were in the bag like my custom fit in-ear monitors which cost me $700 and my first ever ride cymbal that I swore I’d never part with. I stood there and wept as I began to stutter, grasping for words. I couldn’t even WWW.PASTORALEMAGAZINE.COM
“Oh My God! I Just Bought One of Sonic Youth’s Stolen Guitars!!”
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estimate the value of the ride cymbal since it held over a decade of sentimental attachment for me. Soon enough, the incident report spilled onto a second page as one item turned into many. Sometimes though, even just one stolen item is an insurmountable loss. In 2010 a Stradivarius violin worth two million dollars was stolen in a London sandwich shop from beneath the table where violinist Min-Jin Kym was enjoying lunch. About a month later the thieves were caught after selling the violin to a stranger for $150 but the instrument was not recovered. That’s like buying a stolen Ferrari for twenty bucks when you were looking for a used Toyota Corolla. The real shame here is that the owner of the Ferrari knew damn right well that it was a Ferrari. It was babied like a Ferrari, driven like a Ferrari and cherished like a Ferrari. Now some nitwit was going to use it to deliver pizzas. Incredibly, after a rare string of events, the Ferrari owner got her precious baby back. In 2013 the British Transport Police tracked down her 313 year old violin and returned it to her. Very few stories like this have fairytale endings. On July 4, 1999 a Ryder truck parked at the Ramada Inn on State College Dr. in Orange, California was stolen. That truck belonged to Sonic Youth and contained literally ALL of their gear. A lengthy, detailed list of the stolen instruments appeared in an online letter from the band with contact info and the following statement: “Hello all, this is Lee from Sonic Youth here, a brand new Ryder truck parked at a Ramada Inn in Orange with ALL OF OUR GEAR IN IT was STOLEN! All of our guitars, tools, amplifiers, drums, synth -- EVERYTHING. We are fucked, both for the show tonight here in Orange County and for shows upcoming this week in Austin and Santa Fe. Our guitars are all mostly older and either very modified or beat up. They are unmistakably ours, including my own 60’s Fender Concert with the red/ blue/yellow Jasper Johns-style target on it. Help us out if you can, there will be a reward for any info, I’m sure. All our road cases, etc. are fully marked up with our name on them, the guitars are so unusual that they won’t really be too hard to mistake. ANY info at all will be appreciated.”
offered a $7,500 reward for the safe return of all five guitars. A few days later, one of the guitars was sold by a Hollywood pawn shop and a 51 year old private security officer was arrested after being identified as the man who pawned it. The Culver City Police Department recovered the other four guitars and returned them to the band. Was the gear returned because of the popularity of the band? Were people on the lookout because of an enticing cash reward? Did it all boil down to the stupidity of the thief for pawning the famous, stolen gear less than ten miles from where he snagged it? Well, at the end of the day it doesn’t really matter because someone had the audacity to steal that stuff in the first place and, theft is theft. In researching this article the very first thing I Googled was ‘band musical instruments stolen’ and the results were sickening. Many of the stories sounded like this: A band is on tour when their vehicle gets burglarized either at the venue or at the hotel, many prized possessions are taken and are almost never seen again. I read all about Iggy & the Stooges, Mineral, American Football, Dave Weckl, Leon Russell Band, the Analy High School Band, countless churches and on, and on. I know I said theft is theft, but there’s gotta be a special place in Hell for people that steal instruments from a church…right? Anyhow, after reading all of those articles I was sad. I remembered that feeling in the pit of my stomach at the storage facility as I talked to the officer, realizing some of my beloved instruments were probably gone forever. I also remembered the feelings of rage and helplessness wanting to pulverize the thief but not knowing how to find him. Regardless of their level of popularity, musicians expressed pure anger along with deep sadness and I totally understood the pendulum of emotion in every article.
After outbidding the competition he went to an online message board and started a thread by typing: “OH MY GOD! I JUST BOUGHT ONE OF SONIC YOUTH’S STOLEN
Four days later the truck was found in downtown Los Angeles and it was completely empty. There was evidence the thieves used a crowbar to break the back door open. Six years later two guitars resurfaced as a man claiming to be the nephew of one of the original thieves returned them to the band. Then in 2009 a Sonic Youth fan from the Netherlands saw an orange and red guitar on eBay that looked like one of the stolen instruments. A bidding war ensued and the fan won. After outbidding the competition he went to an online message board and started a thread by typing: “OH MY GOD! I JUST BOUGHT ONE OF SONIC YOUTH’S STOLEN GUITARS!!” Shortly after visiting the message board he contacted the band and returned the guitar. Sonic Youth guitarist, Lee Ranaldo confirmed it was one of his prized instruments from the truck that was stolen a decade earlier. But getting a handful of your stolen gear back a decade later isn’t a happy ending. It’s more like discovering the girl you had a crush on in high school really, really liked YOU and almost asked you out one day after Geometry class! Now you live 8,000 miles apart and are both married to other people. Getting your stuff back after that long probably feels great for about nine minutes, then you realize you fell in love with its replacement years ago after four records and sixteen tours.
GUITARS!!” Shortly after visiting the message board he contacted
Reading all those accounts of stolen gear also made me wonder what everyone’s next step was. Many of the musicians in the articles used the word ‘irreplaceable’ but that word is bullshit. Some of us are lucky enough to have rare, custom, limited edition, vintage or even one-of-a-kind stuff, but when one of those items is gone we are forced to put something in its place. What did Min-Jin Kym use for rehearsal that day? How did Sonic Youth get through their shows later that week in Austin and Santa Fe? Which of his other guitars did Tom Petty consider using days before leaving on tour? All of those musicians either used other gear or were prepared to use other gear which means nothing is actually irreplaceable, since at some point everything was replaced. If musicians out there don’t have the ‘show must go on’ mindset, they will most certainly fail because new obstacles pop up at almost every studio session or live performance.
the band and returned the guitar.
In the early weeks of April 2012 Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers were rehearsing to prepare for a tour which was slated to begin later that month. During one session they noticed five guitars missing from the day before. Each stolen guitar was a coveted, late 60’s vintage instrument with tons of worldwide touring and studio mileage as well as immeasurable sentimental value. What makes it worse is that the guitars were stolen from a secure soundstage in Culver City, California where some of the most famous musicians rehearse. To think that even a top notch facility like that could fall victim to theft is truly unsettling. Tom Petty publicly released a ‘no questions asked’ request to anyone with information and set up a special email address to receive tips. He and the band also 20 | PASTORALE | MARCH 2015
Believe it or not, insurance was a life saver for me as I attempted to pick up the pieces after being ripped off. And no, I’m not talking about a renter’s insurance policy or extended auto insurance coverage. I got a policy from Marsh Insurance in 1999 that covers all of the instruments I own, with full replacement cost reimbursement (as long as I can provide a Police report) no matter where it is stolen from – a venue, rehearsal space, recording studio, my vehicle, anyone else’s vehicle, a trailer and yes…a storage space. Unfortunately, that company no longer offers new policies for musical equipment but in researching this article, that’s another thing I Googled. I was pleased to see so many results after typing ‘musical instrument insurance’ and sent links to several musician pals currently out there on tour. Every time my policy renewal letter comes in the mail I cringe. It always shows up between Thanksgiving and Christmas when I don’t have $440 just sitting around. But every year I find a way. I limit my holiday spending to renew my policy because I remember how good it felt to replace all of my irreplaceables and then deposit the reimbursement check. Theft is horrible and losing things that mean so much to us hurts deeply. Putting ourselves in a position where we cannot quickly recover from that loss makes that pain even worse. So, protect your stuff. You probably have a policy for your health, teeth, eyes, car, house or pet so it would stand to reason you would also have a policy for your beloved musical instruments. Mourn the loss of your cherished things, and then celebrate the arrival of the new things which allow the show to go on. WWW.PASTORALEMAGAZINE.COM
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!*?%$@)&*!#@ I’m starting this article off with expletives, and for good reason. I’ve titled this article ‘The Bots Are Lucky I Didn’t Write This Thursday Night’ cause it’s true. Last Thursday night I spent roughly four and a half hours waiting around for these guys. But before we get into this, let me start from the beginning. I received ‘Pink Palms’, The Bots new record through one of their publicists. I thought I’d give it a listen. First run through I liked it. The record sounded big and full and had some really good punk-rock, rock, and a sprinkle of jazz. Felt like good skate music or even just good summer music. Bottom line was… I liked it. We started doing music reviews and I thought, “Hey this band, The Bots, are pretty good. Let’s share them with our readers.” Granted, we’re not the largest magazine in the world but we get roughly 25,000 people reading our magazine a month (think about how many people that is; that’s a lot even for a small magazine). I personally liked what they were doing so I thought I’d share with our readers (#ourreadersrule), which should be good promotion for them right? We had them in our first full panel of reviews and the reviewers liked ‘Pink Palms’! So, then I thought ok, let’s look this band up and get some info on them and see if we can possibly do a feature with them in the future. We want to support good music! As I looked them up I was so stoked to find out that these guys are practically kids! And to top it off they’re brothers! Mikaiah and Anaiah Lei aren’t really little kids, but they’re both under 21. In reality, reaching out to a band to do a feature or cover story isn’t easy. You have to jump hurdles, and each group has its own set of requests. I thought the best way to reach out to The Bots was via Facebook. They have a following of about 17k people so I figured they’d most likely answer themselves, which they did. I wrote asking them if we could do an interview and snap some shots of their upcoming show on the 26th of Feb. Anaiah responded after a couple days stating “Hey man! Aww that’d be cool for sure I’ll put you in contact with my management and you could take it from there! I’ll let you know in a few!” From there I was feeling pretty good about the awesome response. I then thought, let’s get these guys on the cover and do a rad feature of them! After a while I didn’t hear anything, so I followed up letting them know that we now wanted them for our March cover. Anaiah’s response this time was “Yo hit up my manager about it, sounds awesome!” I wrote both of their managers (which I did when I originally hit them up via Facebook) again since their managers didn’t respond to me at all the first time (that was two different emails to two different people). Again, I received no response. I wrote the band one more time which was like the Tuesday before the gig and said that I got no response from the management and that I’d still come to the show and get that interview and snap some shots for the cover (along with shooting them live). This is the point where I get a little upset. I’ll try and write this from more of a journalistic point of view rather than my personal upset point of view. I know that the headlining bands at the Slidebar (Fullerton, CA) usually get a sound check, and that’s usually right before the first band that opens the show at 8pm. I left my studio in Long Beach and went directly to the show, which had my arrival at the venue at around 7pm. I grabbed my camera and my recorder and went inside the Slidebar. The guys were on stage wrapping-up their sound check, which was perfect timing! Anaiah left the stage to hear his brother Mikaiah’s loops and guitars to make sure they were good. And they were. Anaiah walked past me 24 | PASTORALE | MARCH 2015
and I introduced myself to him and reminded him that we had been talking on Facebook about an interview and cover feature. I handed him my card so he knew I was legit. I asked, “Do you think we could still do a quick interview and snap a couple shots for the cover?” He said “Yeah yeah let me get my brother and we’ll come to you.” Little did I know I was going to be sitting around for four and a half FUCKING HOURS with no response. No, “I’m sorry”. No “We’re just not into it” or “Sorry man it’s not going to work out.” Anyway…again trying to stay cool here. I was asked by the Slidebar (along with everyone else who wasn’t in the bands) to step outside to check our IDs. I sat down at a table and waited patiently. Funny thing was Mikaiah and Anaiah ended up sitting at the other end of the table with their friends and ordered dinner. So at this point, I figured ok I’ll eat something and then maybe over dinner or after we can chat. They didn’t say one word to me. They kept in their own little world which was fine, and I was being understanding at the time. A while later their tour managers came up and sat right across from me and quickly introduced themselves. They were both super kind and I ended up thinking they were cool guys. I know how hard being a tour manager is from friend’s stories who’ve experienced that first hand. I asked how they liked it, and both of them gave that face like “well you know” and said it was “pretty fun.” I said “You have it hard. It’s like babysitting but worse ‘cause besides babysitting the band, you have to deal with venues and contracts and transportation etc.” They both gave me that face again, and one of them said “Yes, it’s mostly babysitting.” Which reminded me of how young these kids were. I know I’m no longer cool, especially in the eyes of the late teenager and early 20s crowd. But the brothers (still said nothing to me) left after the meal. So I was still waiting around like a chump…then… awesome! Both of the guys are back and they’re going to set up their merch booth. I even caught Anaiah’s eye so there was no way he is going to bail out on me right!?! So Anaiah walked by again and I asked, “So do you think we can do that interview? What do you think?” And he said to me, “Not yet. I need to relax” (I didn’t quite understand since he was just chilling at dinner relaxing). So I said, “Huh?” and he said. “I need to relax.” Then- no fucking joke- the little asshole walked back to the same table I’m sitting at literally four seats away from me and started playing video games on his cell phone! Instantly I started laughing inside ‘cause this guy is obviously just leading me on. So I started emailing our editor Jackie about how much of an asshole I felt like for waiting around like some kind of fucking lap dog for two guys who could give a fuck about our magazine and our earnest willingness to share them with our readers. I’m not sure if Mikaiah knew what went down or not regarding this but my love for The Bots became more of an overall disappointment. There was no need to treat me like that. An honest answer would have been amazing and I would have totally respected them. I don’t make money off doing features or cover features on bands. I do this because I love this. I love our readers, each and every one of you, and I’m sorry that I was so eager to share these guys with you. I was going to write about their performance but that’s not fair to them since I had such a bitter taste in my mouth from dealing with them. Let’s just leave it at this: The Bots are young, and write pretty good music. I hope they make it super far in the music industry. I hope that Mikaiah reads this and beats the shit out of his little brother for making him and his band look like 100% total dicks. WWW.PASTORALEMAGAZINE.COM
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Here’s how it works! Rather than having just one judge we want a handful of judges so you get a variety of people’s reviews so it’s not just one grumpy music snob. We also wanted to do something different, fun, that wouldn’t take up too much of your time (and the reviewer’s time) to read. So the task at hand for the reviewer is to give a 5-words-or-less description of the record they just listened to. It could be mean, could be funny, and could be anything they want. Just honest, quick and to the point. This month we have 9 releases. Some are larger signed bands some are unsigned. Remember send us your music if you want to be reviewed! Title Fight - “Hyperview”
Warpaint - “Warpaint”
Warpaint is an American indie rock band from Title Fight is an American punk rock band from Kingston, Pennsylvania, United States, formed in Los Angeles, California, formed in 2004. Since its inception, the band’s lineup has included Emily Ko2003. kal (vocals, guitar), Theresa Wayman (guitar, vocals) and Jenny Lee Lindberg (bass, backing vocals). Stella Mozgawa (drums) joined the band in 2009.
Fire in the Radio - “Telemetry”
Fire in the Radio hails from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. The band’s sound has been appropriately described as an amalgamation of Jawbreaker, The Promise Ring, Weezer, and Superchunk. In other words, they are destined to be one of your favorite bands. Fire In The Radio spent time at Inner Ear studios Don Zientera (Fugazi, Jawbox) doing a series of demos.
YOLI RAMAZZINA INDIE-POP DECENT NOT PARTICULARLY MEMORABLE
YOLI RAMAZZINA DREAMY MELLOW HAUNTING GETS OLD
YOLI RAMAZZINA BLINK-ISH EMO-CORE KINDA GENERIC
RAY HARKINS FUZZ CONTEMPLATIVE HIGH ENERGY GREAT
RAY HARKINS GROOVE CHILL MOOD MUSIC IMPRESSIVE
RAY HARKINS POWER-POP EARLY 90’S VIBE EXPERIENCED
SAM FLOYD SUBDUED LYRICS MELANCHOLY PENSIVE -SHOEGAZER #MANCHESTERBAND
SAM FLOYD SOOTHING INTROSPECTIVE PSYCHEDELIC INDIE ROCK
SAM FLOYD BRIGHT INNOCUOUS PREDICTABLE BUT ENJOYABLE
JASON JAMES WELSHER 90’S SMOOTH JAMZ MUST ENJOY BRIAN ADLER LUSH BIG LOUD MELODIC MOODY
JASON JAMES WELSHER LOVE HOT-DAMN! FUNKY SOLID DREAMY
JASON JAMES WELSHER ALKALINE COOKIN’ TIGHT STEADY BUSY
BRIAN ADLER MOODY DARK MELANCHOLY AMBIENT SPARSE
BRIAN ADLER GARAGE POP-ROCK HOOKY HARMONY-LADEN SLICK
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Bjork - “Vulnicura”
Andrew Bird - “Echolocations: Canyon”
Of Montreal - “Aureate Gloom”
Björk Guðmundsdóttir known mononymously as Björk is an Icelandic singer-songwriter, multi-instrumentalist, producer and occasional actress. She initially became known as the lead singer of the alternative rock band The Sugarcubes, whose 1987 single “Birthday” was a hit on US and UK indie stations and a favorite among music critics.
Recorded in the Coyote Gulch canyons of Utah, Echolocations: Canyon is first in a series of short films and recordings which document site specific compositions performed by Andrew Bird and filmed by Tyler Manson in exceptional natural and urban environments.
Of Montreal is an American rock band from Athens, Georgia. It was founded by frontman Kevin Barnes in 1996, named after a failed romance between Barnes and a woman “of Montreal” Throughout its existence, Of Montreal’s musical style has evolved from vaudeville late 60’s Beatles and Kinks-influenced psychedelic pop to a mixture of electronica, funk, glam, and afrobeat music.
YOLI RAMAZZINA WHIMSICAL QUIRKY SOOTHING ENJOYABLE
YOLI RAMAZZINA STRINGS AMBIANT A BIT DULL
YOLI RAMAZZINA UNIQUE LOUD DANCY GROOVY JANGLY
RAY HARKINS CLASSIC ESSENTIAL GROUND BREAKING INVENTIVE
RAY HARKINS OF NATURE MINIMAL CONTEMPLATIVE
RAY HARKINS FUNKY ROCK PSYCHEDELIC A TRIP
SAM FLOYD FOR PEOPLE WHO LIKE BJORK.
SAM FLOYD ESOTERIC STRINGS PLEASANT VERY ZEN
SAM FLOYD QUIRKY UNIQUE BRASH FUN BLEND
JASON JAMES WELSHER BEAUTIFUL WONDERFUL TASTEFUL YOUTHFUL POSTFUL
JASON JAMES WELSHER BREATHE-IN BREATHE-OUT RELAX
JASON JAMES WELSHER LICKS CLASS STYLE ATTITUDE
BRIAN ADLER BEAUTIFUL STUNNING IMAGINATIVE EPIC DARK
BRIAN ADLER EXPERIMENTAL SPACEY SPARSE GRIPING GORGEOUS
BRIAN ADLER DANCEY HAPPY CATCHY GROWLY FUN continued on page 22 MARCH 2015 | PASTORALE | 27
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Belle and Sebastian “Girls in Peacetime Want to Dance”
Night Terrors of 1927 “Everything’s Coming Up Roses”
Belle and Sebastian are an indie pop band formed in Glasgow in January 1996. Led by Stuart Murdoch, they’ve released 9 albums. They are often compared with acts such as Nick Drake. Though consistently lauded by critics, Belle and Sebastian’s “wistful pop” has enjoyed only limited commercial success.
Night Terrors of 1927 are a partnership between ex-RiloKiley guitarist Blake Sennett and Jarrod Gorbel, singer for folk-rockers The Honorary Title. But this joint venture owes little to either member’s past. In place of the contemplative songwriting of their former bands, the duo’s debut is a synth-heavy, cinematic soundscape- the kind of thing that’s ideal for late-night drives through the streets of L.A., which the pair call home. YOLI RAMAZZINA DREAM-POP DANCEABLE FUN EPIC-CORE PULP-ISH
Drew Baker first formed The Owl in Daylight in late2008 in the confines of claustrophobic apartments and dingy garages. After years of playing drums for numerous bands for local OC bands such as Codename: Rocky and Red Letter M, Drew wanted to start a project that allowed him to write music and not only move from behind the drum kit to lead vocals and guitar while incorporating his poetry background into meaningful lyrics.
RAY HARKINS CLASSIC INDIE ROCK KINGS LOVE
RAY HARKINS RADIO INDIE ROCK VANILLA AVERAGE
RAY HARKINS ROCK PUNK-ISH NOTHING MEMORABLE
SAM FLOYD FEELS A BIT LIKE ABBA.
SAM FLOYD CATCHY INTRIGUING 80S VIBE GRATIFYING
SAM FLOYD STRONG SOUND FAMILIAR ARRANGEMENTS GOOD
JASON JAMES WELSHER UNIQUE ECLECTIC DIVERSE STAPLE
JASON JAMES WELSHER BLOSSOM ADDICTING NOW-WAVE
JASON JAMES WELSHER DEMOCRACY? DISAPPEARING-BOY NO-REGRETS
BRIAN ADLER JANGLY HIP DANCEY ROMANTIC QUIET
BRIAN ADLER ELECTRONIC NEW-WAVEY HOOKY CLEAN POP
BRIAN ADLER CATCHY PUNKY FUN RIFFY POPPY
YOLI RAMAZZINA POPPY UPLIFTING ELECTRONIC-Y HAPPY PLACE
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The Owl in Daylight - “Safety Second”
YOLI RAMAZZINA NOT BAD EARLY 2000S REMINISCENT
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ATTN: BANDS AND MUSICIANS IF YOU’D LIKE TO BE REVIEWED, SEND TO INFO@PASTORALEMAGAZINE.COM
REVIEWER BIOS YOLI RAMAZZINA - Yoli is a music lover and a retired KXLU deejay. She is also a certified yoga instructor and a columnist for elephantjournal. com. In her free time she enjoys practicing yoga, reading, writing, gardening, listening to music, drinking good beer (especially sour ales), and most of all spending time with her family and their two rescued pups. RAY HARKINS - Ray Harkins lives for music. He has worked with record labels like Century Media Records, No Sleep Records & 6131 Records. He currently works with peta2, heading up their partnership department as well as the host of 100 Words Or Less: The Podcast. He previously sang for the hardcore bands Taken & Mikoto as well as ran a successful independent music festival called Sound and Fury in Santa Barbara, CA. His music reviews have also been nationally published in Alternative Press and Outburn. SAM FLOYD - LATE thirties from Orange County CA. I cut my teeth on Depeche Mode, The Cure, Duran Duran, Oingo Boingo, INXS, U2, and the like. Still enjoy my 80’s New Wave flashbacks. These days, Indie rock and Alternative rock is what makes my ears happy. Current “must haves” are Nine Inch Nails, The Black Keys, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, Delta Spirit, J Roddy Walston & The Business. JASON JAMES WELSHER -Born in 1977. Founder & Co-Owner of To Die For Clothing. Member of the Gentlemen’s Supper Club. I’ve Got Straight Edge. Friends & Family 1st. 100% Skateboarder. Vegan Power. Music Lover. PMA! BRIAN ADLER -Brian is an accomplished live sound engineer from San Francisco with credits that include bands such as The Stone Foxes and Dan Croll. He has toured the nation countless of times and has recorded and mixed bands for several years. He’s also is an album reviewer for mxdwn.com where he reviews brand new releases for the online magazine. MARCH 2015 | PASTORALE | 29
Come together.
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beauty
What better time to share some of my favorite makeup travel tips than during my own travels!?! My recent trip to New Orleans had me wondering what other people would call their “Travel Essentials.” Now don’t get me wrong I can easily fill a carry-on with nothing but makeup and some curling irons, and I would be lying if I said I haven’t done it before. Let’s face it, when it comes down to the essentials all girls and guys have their go-to MUST HAVES, but the thing is, depending on what’s important to you, every one’s essentials will change. So whether you’re a makeup lover, skin care activist, or neither, MY makeup must haves may be just what you’ve been looking for! I have been fortunate over the past year to put a few notches in my traveling belt and each time I learn something new. The one thing that never changes is, “you never use EVERYTHING you pack.” So instead of packing your full makeup bag, pack a few things that can get more than one job done. For instance, I absolutely love Crown Brush’s 88MM - “Metal Madness” Palette & 88N – 88 Color Warm Eyeshadow Palette. The wide range of color options lets you use them for of course eye shadow, as well as blush, eyebrows, and even contouring and highlighting. Add these lightweight palettes to your usual foundation and mascara routine and you have a complete makeup look with as little as 4 products. Next on my list is a great moisturizer, especially one that can double-up as both a primer and moisturizer… and yes that does exist! My go-to is Embryolisse Lait-Crème Concentrè or Hydra-Mat Emulsion for you gals with oilier skin. It only takes a pea size to work into the skin and has no oily residue. It is perfect for the gents as well. Not to mention, it’s a makeup artist’s secret weapon to flawless makeup every time! Lastly, this one isn’t just a travel must have, it’s an everywhere must have. I’m talking about my Poo~Pourri (type that into your search bar and you will be thanking me I promise). Invented by a GENIOUS! When you got to go, you got to go. That’s right I said it and I am going there. Let’s face it, everyone does it, so why not do it with just a little bit of consideration. Now, unless you are traveling to a third world country there are drugs stores and Walmart’s on just about every corner. And just to add as a friendly makeup artist tip from me to you, try stopping by some of your favorite makeup and/or skin care counters before you leave and ask for them to sample you with a few pieces. By the time you take off on your next adventure you’ll have enough to last through your entire trip! So there you have it! Just a few items that always make my cut. And people, as a friendly reminder this is a “Beauty Essential” travel guide not hygiene so PLEASE remember that your toothbrush and deodorant are still a MUST! Happy travels! 32 | PASTORALE | MARCH 2015
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Am I the only person that’s wondering where the hell coconut EVERYTHING came from?! Like overnight, we’re putting it in our hair, on our pits, in our food, in our beverages. There are so many informative articles floating around the interwebs and frankly it’s overwhelming. I know we’ve all heard at least a handful of these benefits, but I thought maybe I could do you folks a solid and narrow it down to some super cool health and beauty benefits that I, personally am quite fond of. MCT’s, Medium Chain Triglycerides. There’s a bunch of these little guys and apparently they make coconut oil a magical substance that we should be ingesting and slathering all over our bodies every single day so we can live forever. Okay, well maybe not the immortality properties, but there are literally over 10,000 studies that tell us we should be paying attention to what it can do for us. And if the medical studies don’t sway you, just ask the tropical folks who have been using it for centuries. India refers to it as Kalpavriksha: “giving-all tree”. How does that not spark an “Ah-hah” moment? Oil Pulling for your teeth Bulletproof Coffee Hair conditioning treatment Deodorant Oil pulling is a process within India’s ancient medical practices, also known as Ayurveda, dating back to 600 BC. Swishing, or “pulling”, the oil between the teeth and throughout the mouth removes bacteria, similar to a commercial mouthwash. Apparently you can use sesame oil as well, but I feel that coconut oil is more pleasant for this particular process. Coconut oil also contains Lauric Acid, an anti-bacterial, and if you’re going to do this, you may as well double up on germ killers! As many dental professionals agree that this ancient process does indeed work, it is strongly recommended that you do not replace brushing and flossing daily, rather supplement your routine, with oil pulling. The amount of time suggested for this activity ranged from two 4-minute sessions daily, to 20 minutes four to five times per week. Due to the wide array of opinions, you should dig a little deeper and find something that works for you. I decided that what better time to try oil pulling with coconut oil then while I’m working on this article. With the suggestion of anywhere from 1 Tsp. to 1.5 Tbsp., I scooped on the lower end of those two and it was a real mind game getting myself to literally take small bites into the barely solid chunk of fat on a spoon. I don’t know how I kept that oil in my mouth for twenty minutes but I did. And it wasn’t bad at all. If you don’t like learning the hard way, I suggest bringing the temperature up to create a consistency that you can pour easily into your mouth. I will be doing that next time. Anyone that is involved with the healthy lifestyle (I’m generalizing for the sake of page space) has more likely than not heard of bulletproof coffee and its magical properties that allegedly make our bodies glow in the dark. Now, I have not tried this bulletproof coffee yet but I can tell you what’s in it and what everyone else is saying about it! The three ingredients for this liquid gold is two cups of freshly brewed hot coffee, 1-2 Tbsp. of grass-fed butter, and 2 Tbsp. of MCT oil. You throw it into a blender until you’ve got some foam and boom! The strength of a thousand men, poured into your commuter mug for maximum asskicking performance! Now, the concept for this beverage has been around for thousands of years (before the 13th century), but did not gain the global recognition it has now until 2011, a few years after it was experienced in Tibet by an American man who was given a cup of creamy yak butter tea for energy and focus. Remember when I mentioned the Medium Chain Triglycerides? Well, for years the health industry has been separating them from coconut oil to offer assistance in weight loss and appetite suppression as a dietary supplement. I get why they do it, but I am thinking I’d rather have the benefits of MCTs without them being refined out of their natural form
within the coconut oil. There are plenty of folks out there using coconut oil in place of MCT oil and claim there’s no difference between the two. I say educate yourself then choose what’s best for you. Due to the molecular structure and size of the Medium Chain Triglycerides, good ol’ coconut oil has been ideal for natural deep conditioning treatments on extremely coarse, and/or damaged hair because it can penetrate the hair shaft with a little heat, filling gaps in the hair to create a healthier appearance, shine, smoothness, and less breakage. If you have fine or thin hair, no problem! Just keep the oil off the scalp. Either way, make sure you Shampoo-Rinse-Repeat as often as necessary to get all that oil off! Like any other heavy duty “hair treatment”, use cautiously and no more than once weekly (unless specified by the manufacturer). Chances are, you’re going to have a pretty solid jar of coconut oil. Use a spoon to scoop out about half a cup of oil chunks into a glass dish that you can (hopefully) use atop a small sauce pan to create a makeshift double boiler. If you haven’t done this before, you need to put enough water in the sauce pan to nearly touch the bottom of the bowl. It doesn’t take much time for coconut oil to melt, so make sure to stay close! As soon as your oil is melted, remove it from the heat. If you have a squeeze bottle you use for coloring your hair, that would work pretty terrifically. Your hand makes a great cup too, so do whatever floats your boat. If you want to get creative, now’s the time to do it. Essential oils have so many uses, but that’s another story. What I can suggest, however, is a few drops of rosemary and lavender. The scent combo is pretty relaxing, and more importantly both are antibacterials, which is great for fighting dandruff or lice. For a refreshing experience, some peppermint oil would open up those sinuses and give the scalp a little tingle. I think that would be perfect for when you’re sick at home. For better manageability and to ensure even distribution, section your hair into four, if it’s long enough to twist and clip up of course! Apply using your method of choice then use a wide tooth comb to distribute and help keep the hair free of tangles. Twist the hair up if it’s long enough and secure with a clip until you’re ready to cover it. You don’t HAVE to cover the hair but doing so will maintain heat from the head, causing the hair strands to expand, allowing greater penetration of the oil. My personal suggestion would be to grab a shower cap at the drugstore if you don’t already have one. I couldn’t sleep with this on my head, so I would opt for a day that I’m at home cleaning or something where I already am going to look like junk. Frankly, I feel that 30 minutes is plenty of time, however some folks like the “bigger is better” method and want to keep the oil in all night aka 8 hours, and I am okay with that as long as you aren’t doing this more than once per week (as I had mentioned previously). It will weigh your hair down and you will not like it. You’ll hate coconut oil forever and will never experience its magic ever again! With Lauric Acid being antibacterial, it makes coconut oil a great base for natural deodorant. I know some who can simply use coconut oil out of the jar and they have no issue with odor. And others, myself included, need the additional coverage of an essential oil such as lavender, lemon, or tea tree (although that can be overpowering). If you want to get extra crafty, you can throw some baking soda and cornstarch in there to help with absorbing moisture! The possibilities are endless! If you decide you want to try your version of this pit-concoction, remember it’s a deodorant, not an antiperspirant. I came across some fascinating information while delving into the perils of the interwebs to bring you this informative article on four of the trillion uses for and benefits of coconut oil. I didn’t include everything because there’s just no time for that! But I am going to write more about it in the future, so stay tuned!
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Bralette- Free People Shorts- Urban Outfitters Sweater- Knot Sisters Necklace- Muse 411 Bracelets/Bangles- Alex and Ani Belt- Vintage Earrings- Urban Outfitters
Skirt- Elison Rd Top- H&M Necklace- Muse 411 Body Chain- Brandy Melville Bracelet- Prism Boutique Earrings- Urban Outfitters
Romper- Luna B. Necklace and Bracelet- Child of Wild Ring- Coco Rose Boutique Earrings- Urban Outfitters
Romper- Elison Rd Bralette- Free People Body Chain- Brandy Melville Necklace- Nana Flower Headband- That Madonna Girl Earrings- Urban Outfitters
Tunic- Gypsy Junkies Shorts- Urban Outfitters Bralette- Free People Bracelet- Child of Wild Necklace- St. Eve Jewelry Boots- Urban OG Earrings- Urban Outfitters 44 | PASTORALE | MARCH 2015
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Jumpsuit- Luna B. Hat- Elison Rd Shoes- Jeffrey Campbell Bangles- Alex and Ani Bracelet- Prism Boutique Rings- Vintage and Coco Rose Boutique Earrings- Urban Outfitters
Skirt and Bralette- Free People Jacket- Urban Outfitters Head Piece- Etsy Ring- Coco Rose Boutique Hand Piece- Free people Earrings- Urban Outfitters
Dress- Gypsy Warrior Belt- Free People Boots- Urban OG Rings- Vintage and Coco Rose Boutique Earrings- Urban Outfitters
Dress- Luna B. Kimono- Urban Outfitters Shoe- Jeffery Campbell Bracelets/Bangles- Alex and Ani Rings- Coco Rose Boutique Earrings- Urban Outfitters
Top- Luna B. Pants- Free People Rings- Vintage Bracelet- Child of Wild Shoes- Minelli Necklace- Child of Wild Sunglasses- Anthropologie
Nico: Jacket- Vince Sweater- Mens of Outsiders Collared shirt- Frank and Oak Jean- Krew Denim Shoe- Cole Haan Kelsey: Dress- In My Air Shoe- Converse Jacket- Zara Earring- Ellyn Blue Hat- Jenny Bird
Luxury Femininity for Iconic Women ! Los Angeles, CA www.briseeley.com
Spring is just around the corner, meaning it’s time to shed your jackets and start lightening up your wardrobe. It hasn’t reached the blistering heat of summer yet (where you would honestly prefer to just live in your underwear in front of a fan), and the sun has finally started peaking out again, so you can actually feel your ears and nose. Unless you are lucky enough to live in Southern California, like myself, then the sun never left and the temperature was nowhere near freezing (I know, we are spoiled). Springtime is that perfect time for the raddest of looks for dudes and ladies. My favorite part of spring is the versatility of outfit choices and the ability to layer pieces in a way that doesn’t look bulky. No one wants to feel like the Michelin man, even if it is below freezing. Spring is all about embracing lighter fabrics, more color, fun prints, and showing off statement accessories. I have always struggled between whether to stick with my love of an all black ensemble or to release my inner bohemian mama come warmer weather. I’ve come to find that adding a little spring influence into your wardrobe not only brightens up your mood, but also allows for you to test out a new look and have more outfit options. If you’re like me, the more new options the better when you have “nothing to wear.” The spring trends for this year cover a wide variety of tastes. Whether you have a love affair with fringe, a deep emotional tie towards platform shoes, or a penchant for suede, now is the time to adopt a trend or two that speaks to your personal fashion sense. If the late ‘60s/early ‘70s have any place in your fashion soul, you’ll be stoked that nearly every spring fashion show showcased inspired looks or collections (for those of us not ready to drop a small fortune on that stellar Valentino or Saint Laurent piece, don’t sweat, because more affordable retailers and designers are bringing their A game too). I’ve broken down a guide for you to tackle the most popular spring trends. The Look: Dudes: Lighter wash denim jackets, shirts and jeans (denim-on-denim, anyone?) are definitely among the most wearable trends. Meanwhile, suede button-ups and psychedelic printed shirts are perfect for those of you who like your outfits to pack a punch. Ladies: Try a slightly flared dress in a muted psychedelic print, or a glamorous yet casual maxi dress adorned with crochet or in a gauzy, flowing fabric. Fringe seems to always reoccur on handbags, shoes, and jackets, but to really spice up your wardrobe, wear a fringe skirt for your next date night or girls’ night out (bonus points for a vibrant color or ombre appearance). A Little Something Extra: Dudes: Take a risk and don a floral pocket square or hat. You can also add a bit of military inspiration with an army green chino or lightweight anorak jacket. Desert boots are the perfect shoes to complete any new spring look. Ladies: Add in some statement earrings or natural stone jewelry (think crystal necklaces and semi-precious stone cuffs). Platform sandals and knee-high gladiators are the perfect addition to a floral frock or deep plunging maxi dress. Feminine gold barrettes and metal hair accents like combs, clips, and headbands, are a unique way to dress up your hair. Maybe even try out the leather liner (hint: look for adhesive eyeliner stickers) look that was popular on the runways.
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Shirt by J. Crew Jeans by Levi’s Sneakers by New Balance
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Top by Velvet Jeans by Levi’s Sneakers by Sperry Outfit provided by Bivouac Ann Arbor
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Pants by J. Crew Tee by J. Crew Sneakers by Vans MARCH 2015 | PASTORALE | 75
Top by Velvet Cardigan by Velvet Jeans by Levi’s Desert Boots by Clarks Outfit provided by Bivouac Ann Arbor 76 | PASTORALE | MARCH 2015
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Shirt by Lacoste Cardigan by 7 Diamonds Jeans by Levi’s Shoes by Toms Outfit provided by Bivouac Ann Arbor MARCH 2015 | PASTORALE | 77
Top- Brandy Melville Skirt- Brandy Melville Hat- Lack of Colors
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Model: Sarah Cossio • Photographer/Editor: Chase Dun MARCH 2015 | PASTORALE | 79
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Top- Brandy Melville Skirt- Brandy Melville Hat- Lack of Colors
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Top- Brandy Melville Skirt- Brandy Melville Jacket- Gap Boot- Jeffery Campbel MARCH 2015 | PASTORALE | 83
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Flannel- RipCurl T-shirt- American Apparel MARCH 2015 | PASTORALE | 85
Photographed by Veronica Chanel Model: Alexis Blankenship Stylist: Sasha Gold Make up: Veronica Chanel Hair: Cara Underwood
Top:the Loved One Overalls: American Apparel Necklaces: Krystle Knight Jewelry
Head Wrap, Cuffs, And Jacket: The Loved One Hoop Earrings And Rings: Paradise Metal Art
Sunglasses: Ashbury T-Shirt: Vintage Skirt: The Loved One
Jacket: Gap Skirt, Scarf, Purse: The Loved One Necklace: Vintage Top: Black Milk Clothing Rings: Paradise Metal Artwork
Jacket: The Loved One Jeans: American Apparel Top: Black Milk Clothing Necklaces: Krystle Knight Jewelry
Necklaces: The Loved One
Jacket: Gap Skirt, Scarf, Purse: The Loved One Necklace: Vintage Top: Black Milk Clothing Rings: Paradise Metal Artwork
Dress: The Loved One Hat: Yellow 108
PISCES (February 19 – March 20)
VIRGO (August 23 – September 22)
LADIES: We didn’t know you smoked. I mean some of these stories are insane! You really got so high one time you thought you were in a circus and that your dog was a lion and you ran out of your apartment after the mailman, naked, with a spatula in each armpit yelling!?! Wait a minute. What the hell?! Oh crack, you were smoking crack.
LADIES: NOODLES!! Did you know that there is a Ramen spa in Japan, and NOT in your bathtub? We know times are rough and you LOVE ramen so we are going to let this slide but just remember to check ALL the areas on you for stray noodles. It was super awkward when you did that striptease for your new boyfriend and ramen fell out of your lingerie.
GUYS: You are literally like handcuffing a one armed man. You don’t make sense. How could you have possibly forgotten that your first day at the NEW job was today? And if you say it’s because you have been so used to sleeping in until 12pm everyday one more time I am shoving an alarm clock up your…JANIS! HOLD MY CALLS!!
GUYS: “If practice makes perfect then your parents must be named Practice & Practice” is that REALLY the shit you say to girls? We laughed for sure but it was one of the sad laughs, like “oooo, um ok... if we walk away slowly maybe he won’t notice” kind of laugh. You’re really pretty though, so maybe just stick to selfies in your gym mirror.
ARIES (March 21 – April 19)
LADIES: Listen lady, can I call you lady? K good, listen lady. You can’t just decide that you are indecisive. That’s fucking ridiculous. How could you even decide that? Give me one, or better yet 3 reasons why you decided to be indecisive, “I don’t know” is NOT an answer. GUYS: When you grew up, how sad were you when you discovered that quicksand is not really as big of a deal as you thought that it would be huh? I mean Indiana Jones definitely made it look like it was going to be a HUGE problem. It’s ok, it’s ok. The floor could still become lava one day.
TAURUS (April 20 – May 20)
LADIES: Girl WHY, why why why, do you have a denim couch? We honestly don’t even want to give you the opportunity to explain because frankly we can’t think of any reason why that would be an acceptable piece of furniture, for you, in your ADULT, not in the 90s’ apartment? GUYS: Quit bitching about the weather. Meanwhile in Canada they are literally digging their houses out every morning for work, so I think you can deal with a coupe extra minutes in traffic.
GEMINI (May 21 – June 21)
LADIES: We know it’s a little late but DID YOU WATCH THE GRAMMYS? Um can we say illuminati? RIGHT! I mean we are pretty out there but those performances were crraazzyy creepy right? We haven’t slept in weeks and...Oh right your horoscope, uh you’re good. GUYS: Your game is weaker than airport toilet paper, seriously you suck at it. Your pick up lines come off as insults and you laugh randomly during conversations. That girl was telling you about her sick kitten and you nervously laughed like 7 times before she started crying, then like 3 times after that. The hell man??!
CANCER (June 22 – July 22)
LADIES: We wanted to take this time to congratulate you on all your success…on POF. Stacey told us that your roommates told her that instead of buying groceries you have just been making dates casually around the times you get hungry. Thata girl. I mean you know in the first 5 seconds if you are into someone, and if you aren’t hell... it’s free food :) GUYS: You spend money like you have money to spend. News flash, ya don’t. Ya we snooped your bank account and discovered some interesting things. 1: your mom pays your rent (you’re 34, cute), and you pay monthly to a gym that you clearly haven’t been using unless “FIT NOW” is a bar on Main St. because that’s where your ass ALWAYS is.
LEO (July 23 – August 22)
LADIES: Did you know that sloths fall out of trees because they think that their arms are branches? Aawwww... THEY are cute. YOU swinging from ceiling fans by your extensions and falling because you mistake your real hair instead is not. How many times do we have to tell you stop hanging out with Monica, she slips you shit in your drinks for sure! GUYS: We see you are wearing that matching His & Her sweater from Disneyland today, not with your girlfriend, and you’re wearing hers by accident. Either it’s laundry day or you have really just stopped caring. We snapped a photo of you in the elevator next to your CEO, the Mickey Mouse hand was pointing to him and it said “His”. If that doesn’t call for that raise you’ve been trying to get we don’t know what would. We hear Taco Bell is hiring, just a thought.
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LIBRA (September 23 – October 22)
LADIES: We know that the one thing you hate more than people interrupting you is people being insensitive and obviously kiss-assy, AND that the older lady at work is all that and a bag of that cheap candy she always tries to make you eat. BUT keep your cool, we think she is coming around after you gave her devil eyes when she walked into the meeting late last week. Susan, that Bitch. GUYS: Wait, we are REALLY hoping that we heard you wrong, but did you just say you took some Tinder girl out to sushi and you talked the ENTIRE time about how you were a pill slanger when your leg broke (from being BAD at snowboarding) and about how fucking dope your Subaru is? Um how about NO. She hates you!
SCORPIO (October 23 – November 21)
LADIES: You think you can just walk into a meeting LATE and say “Ok, you can start now” to your guest presenter and NOT think you would get canned? Someone should have thrown you out the window. Were you drunk? GUYS: SO you’re really going to text her after a month without talking, after YOU broke it off and say “I want to see you” WHAT THE EFF IS YOUR LOGIC BOY? Did you huff paint as a kid? You can’t do that shit. Grow up!
SAGITTARIUS (November 22 –December 21)
LADIES: UGH why are you always so sensitive? NO ONE is mad at you! And NO, they aren’t doing cool things without you. How could they, you are LITERALLY always there...always!! GUY: People think you are pretentious...we’ll say it. The fuck man? No more bow-ties, we agree they look sweet, we are sorry. ALSO, stop telling your subordinates that the reason you won’t be at the next few board meetings is because you will be in Mexico...he he. Stop saying “he he” one, and two, If you forget that girl’s name in accounting and call her “Lady” one more time, she is going to lose her shit!
CAPRICORN (December 22 – January 19)
LADIES: You still think that guy at school is cute after you found out that he has a rap group and all they rap about is shit, like for real, POOP. And you honestly think he is remotely interested in you? I mean he gave you the nickname Princess Shit? And when you saw him today in the hall you literally made a fart sound instead of saying hi. You’re pathetic girl... come on haha. GUYS: How do you run out of gas 3 times this week? Do you only put in a dollar each stop? I mean it’s getting ridiculous, we can’t even try to make up excuses anymore. You’re just, I mean... we’re gonna need your badge and gun. Wait sorry, Law & Order is on. I’ll text you on a commercial.
AQUARIUS (January 20 – February 18)
LADIES: Coffee pee...really? How many times do we have to go through this? If you drink coffee and NO water your pee will smell like coffee. Now if you go to a boy’s house and you have only had coffee and liquor as liquids you are going to stink up the poor guy’s studio apartment like Folgers Urinals strong roast. Stop! GUYS: Bacon. I feel like that’s really all we need to say to you at this point.
BY AYLA HENDERSON THUG LIFE. WWW.PASTORALEMAGAZINE.COM
IN THE NEXT ISSUE...
ACTRESS BREA GRANT (HEROES/ DEXTER) AND MORE OF COURSE
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